#yes he probably had darker hair when he was younger based on the photos we have of him

[exhaustedalien]

I have so many thoughts and opinions on the Arthur's hair colour discourse that I will not be going into because I know his hair is definitely not the colour I draw it

[ghostsray]

You are my brother (boogie woogie)

(my first @phicphight 2020 fic! based on @dp-marvel94‘s prompt: “Vlad successfully clones Danny again. When Danny meets this new clone, the boy is nothing like he expects.”)

(word count: 2625) (AO3)

Danny sunk onto his bed, the soft matress feeling like heaven after a long day of school and ghost-fighting. He was so exhausted that he wished nothing would interrupt his brief moment of respite. Thus he released a deep groan when he heard his bedroom door creak open.

"Oh, don't groan at me," his sister said. She entered the room and sat next to him on the bed.

"What do you want, Jazz?" Danny's voice came muffled from where it was buried face down on his bedsheet.

He lifted his head high enough from the bed to see Jazz staring at him with crossed arms. "You could have told me you went to Vlad's," Jazz said.

Danny scowled. "What are you talking about?"

Jazz faltered. "You mean...you didn't?"

"No, of course not. Why the hell would I go to that froot loop's place?" He sat up beside Jazz, who was busy fidgeting.

"I thought he looked like--nevermind. It was probably someone else."

"Who looked like me?"

Jazz pulled out her phone and opened it to a photograph. There was Vlad Masters standing in front of his mansion. By his side was a teenage boy who looked an awful lot like Danny.

"Someone took a photo of the mayor in front of his house with a child," she explained, then hesitated and added, "When someone asked him who it was, he said it was his son."

Danny's face darkened. He took the phone from Jazz and observed the boy in the picture. Although he was dressed more smartly than Danny normally would, there was no denying that they were related. On first glance, he looked identical to Danny: everything from his pale skin and short stature to the way his mouth sloped when he smiled. But after looking at him more closely, he could make out a few minor differences: his black hair was streaked with messy white stripes, his eyes were a shade darker blue than Danny's, and his face was just slightly slimmer. None of that fooled Danny, though. Danielle also looked somewhat different from him, and she was still his genetic clone.

Danny stood up, the day's exhaustion from a minute ago completely forgotten. "I think I need to pay our Uncle Vlad a little visit," he said grimly.

"Wait, now?" Jazz asked just as Danny transformed before her in a flash of light. She shielded her eyes as he changed into ghost form, and when she looked up again, he was already gone.

.

The way to the mayor's mansion was quick. As he flew in Phantom form, Danny kept thinking up insults he would throw at Vlad once he saw him. He slipped intangibly into the building and began to search for the man.

He didn't find Vlad, but he did run into his son.

He was sitting in the library, reading a copy of Dracula. On a regular occasion, Danny would have found it hilarious that the vampire-looking ghost would own the book in his library, but he wasn't feeling very festive at that moment. As he stared invisibly at the boy, Danny couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in his stomach from looking at him. He had spent lots of time with his other clone, Danielle, but she was younger than him, so it didn't bother him that much. This clone in the library was much closer to Danny's age, and therefore, much more similar in appearance. Even with the darker eyes and streaked hair, Danny felt like he was looking in a mirror.

As similar as the clone was in physical appearance, though, Danny would never be caught dead(er) in his clothes. The dude reeked of Vlad's ill-gotten wealth. He wore the kind of polo shirt that only snobby rich kids wore, and his feet were in loafers that Danny could never afford. It was clear that the clone had tried to comb his hair into an orderly position, but just like Danny's hair, it was impossible to tame and was sticking out in various places. Danny thought he even saw him wearing some of Vlad's mascara, but that might have been his imagination.

Once he got over the shock of seeing a wealthier copy of him in person, Danny toughened his expression, floated in front of the clone, and dropped his invisibility. The clone jumped in his chair and nearly dropped his book in surprise.

"Let me guess," Danny drawled. "Daniel Masters?"

There were many different outcomes that Danny could have expected. The clone could have been like Danielle, held under Vlad's control against his will, and begged Danny to help him. Or he could have been the opposite, completely under his evil influence, and released an evil laugh and said something like Yes, it is I, now prepare to die and let me replace you. Or maybe Vlad could have decided not to risk another Danielle incident and hid the fact that he was a clone from him, thus making him deeply confused by the similar-looking ghost in front of him.

What happened was none of the above.

The teenager's eyes lit up, and he exclaimed in a voice full of excitement, "You're Danny! The original!"

Danny faltered for a moment, put off by the sudden admiration in the clone's voice and the smile that had plastered itself onto his face. "Um, yeah," he replied. "And you--"

The clone extended a hand and said, "I'm Daniel--but you already knew that. I also go by the name Niel!"

Danny was so flabbergasted that he shook the hand without thought. "Niel?" he asked.

"N-I-E-L. Daniel, Niel. It's a different pronunciation, but close enough to my written name. Plus, it's not like I want to go around using your name. Well, even though Dad still insists on calling me Daniel because he's boring like that."

"Dad," Danny echoed. "You mean Vlad."

That stupid grin was still on Niel's face as he said, "Yep. He created me, didn't he? By combining your DNA with some of his. Mostly yours, but he said he couldn't get your mid-morph DNA and had to use his own, which was hard because you two are really different and it took him a while to make me, but now I'm here. It makes sense for me to call him Dad. Or Father, but that's boring. I mean, who even uses that word anymore? Fa-ther."

He giggled, and Danny stared. The Fenton struggled to make sense of this clone. He was so...childish. Unlike neither Vlad nor Danny, except maybe for when Danny was six years old and still filled with childish glee. Now that he thought about it, he supposed Niel was technically even younger than that.

As soon as Danny remembered how to speak again, he said, "You're awfully calm about being a clone."

Niel shrugged. "Sure, I was cloned from you, but I like to think I'm still my own person. I mean, I know Dad probably made me to replace you, but that's dumb." His eyes sparkled, and he concluded, "I think we should be brothers."

"Brothers?" Danny asked, then a gear clicked in his brain and he responded, "Hold up, I am not going to live with you and Vlad. We're not brothers."

Niel seemed a little disappointed, but he pressed on. "Why not? We are brothers; our DNA is close enough. Unless you want to call me your son, but that's too weird." (Danny had to agree.) "Anyway, I know you're okay with calling your clones family because you call Danielle your cousin, even though she should be our sister. We should all live together--me, you, Dad, and Danielle, even though I don't know why she ran away exactly, but I'm sure she and Dad can make up."

He seemed so passionate about the idea of living as a family that Danny almost felt bad for bursting his bubble. "Sorry, but my answer is still no," he stated. "I don't know how nice Vlad is to you, but from my experience, he's a terrible dad. You were right about me calling Danielle my cousin, but that's because she didn't have a family after Vlad refused to accept her."

Niel's face scrunched up in confusion. "But...Dad said she left by herself because she was confused about being your clone."

"You must have mixed up confused with abused," Danny replied dryly. "Vlad tried to kill her. He wanted to melt her down to make you."

Niel looked like he was either constipated or in pain. "But--That's not--I mean, he wouldn't--" he stammered. "He's a good father to me!" He finally exclaimed, forgetting his previous statement that no one used the word father. "I'm sure he's changed!"

"Yeah, right," Danny said with a roll of his eyes. "That's about as likely as Mr. Lancer saying a real swear word."

"Who's Mr. Lancer?"

"Unimportant. What I'm saying is, your "Dad" majorly sucks. I'd say no offense, but I mean full offense to Vlad."

Niel gripped the copy of Dracula in his hands until his knuckles turned white. Danny half expected him to either start attacking Danny or to break down crying. However, after a few seconds passed, Niel took a deep breath until he calmed down, then he said, "He'd still be a better parent to you than those Fentons."

Danny snorted. "No doubt. Did Vlad tell you that? I bet he had a lot of words to say about my dad."

"He did," Niel confirmed, "but I don't really care about his petty grudge with Jack. I could tell the portal thing was an accident. It's silly to still hate him for something that happened twenty years ago."

Danny faltered. That wasn't what he expected Niel to say. "Then why..."

"Why?" Niel's dark blue eyes bore into Danny's light blue ones, and he said simply, "They hunt you."

Danny felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut. He swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. "Ah. That..."

"I watch the news," Niel pressed on, digging the metaphorical dagger deeper into Danny's hide. "They go after you every day. They want to kill you. They say they're going to tear Phantom apart molecule by molecule."

"That's because they don't know it's me," Danny argued weakly.

"Then why don't you tell them?" Before Danny could respond, Niel held up a hand and interrupted, "That was rhetorical. I know why you keep your ghost half a secret. You're scared of them."

Danny balled his hands into fists. "I'm not scared," he growled.

"Really? You seem pretty scared to me."

It was true. Sweat was pouring from his forehead. Danny wiped it away and pressed his lips into a thin line. "I'm not scared," he continued to lie, "and I know they're better parents than Vlad. They may hate Phantom now, but I'll get them to change their minds."

Niel laughed--a villainous laugh that reminded Danny heavily of Vlad. "Yeah, right. The Fentons becoming buddies with Danny Phantom?" He grinned at Danny and added, "What was it you said? That's about as likely as Mr. Lance saying fuck."

"Lancer," Danny corrected.

"Whatever."

Danny glared at Niel, who smiled pleasantly in return. "Join Vlad," Niel told him. "Be my brother. We can keep you away from them, and then you won't have to be scared anymore." Niel frowned slightly and amended, "Well...we'll keep you away from Jack, at least. Dad still has this dumb infatuation with Maddie...but I think he can be content with letting her go if he got you."

Danny's glare melted into something sadder. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes," Niel answered with conviction. "I'll get Dad to take you away from them. We'll be brothers, and maybe Jazz and Danielle can be our sisters. We'll be a happy family."

Danny's gaze lingered on him a moment longer, then it wandered down to the book he still held with an iron grip. "Niel," Danny called the clone's name hesitantly, then he sighed. "You're too young."

Niel was puzzled by the sudden change in subject, but he told him, "Dad said I'm fourteen. The same age he got the DNA sample from you, even though you're sixteen now."

"Yes, but your literal age is, what, one?" Danny lifted his eyes again to look at Niel as he spoke. "You don't have a lot of experience."

"I have knowledge. I read."

"It's not enough. You haven't spent a lot of time with Vlad; you don't know him like I do. He'll never let go of my mom. Danielle and him will never make up. And I--and Jazz--will never join him because he's a horrible person."

Niel looked like he was one tick away from bursting. "Why not?" he challenged, but he sounded more desperate than mad. "What's so bad about him?"

"Let's see...he's a cheater, a liar, super creepy, and a huge jerk," Danny listed on his fingers. "He kidnapped me, like, twenty times, and he always sends deadly ghosts after me to either kidnap me again, or kill my dad. That's not someone I would ever want to be family with."

Niel's jaw was taut. "So you won't change your mind."

Danny shook his head.

Niel's hands shook as he breathed, but he was eerily calm as he placed his book on a table by his chair and stood up. "Dad told me you wouldn't listen, that you're too stubborn. I guess I should have believed him."

"Niel..."

Niel's face was relaxed as he looked at him, but his eyes burned with dark fire. Suddenly, twin rings of light flashed across his body, transforming him into a ghost.

Though Danny knew that Niel had some of Vlad's genes, that fact was made more obvious in his ghost form. He still looked like Danny and even wore the same black-and-white jumpsuit, but he had blue skin and red eyes like Plasmius. Streaks of black ran across his white hair where the opposite color had been in his human form. He must have inherited his dad's dramatic sense of fashion, because a high-collared, Dracula-esque cape draped over his jumpsuit, similar to the one Vlad wore.

As Danny stared at the ghost before him, he felt a cold spread through his body, and it wasn't his ice core. Niel's form reminded him too much of another ghost who was mostly Danny and a little Vlad. Suddenly, Danny felt less like he was looking in a mirror, and more like he was looking at a younger version of the alternate future self of his that killed his friends.

No, Danny sternly told himself, forcing the panic back down. Niel wasn't Dan. He wasn't a genocidal adult ghost with fiery hair and an icy heart. Niel was just a snobby little rich kid who thought Vlad was the balls and didn't know much about the world. He felt himself relax a bit as he successfully kept himself together, but his hands were still in fists by his sides in case Niel attacked.

"Calm down, brother. I'm not going to fight you," Niel assured him calmly. "At least, not today. Knowing Dad, he'll inevitably make us fight each other someday, unless you change your mind about joining him."

"In his dreams," Danny spat. "Tell him to shove a froot loop up his ass."

Niel sighed, like he was disappointed but not surprised. "Goodbye, Danny," Niel said, and he floated off the floor as he said it. "I'll see you soon."

He abruptly dropped through the floor below and out of sight. Danny turned intangible and followed him, but when he emerged in the mansion's lower floor, Niel was nowhere to be seen.

[purplesurveys]

1175

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it?  My dinner had broccoli and bell peppers in it.

What was your last Facebook notification for?  It was Aliyah replying to our comment thread on one of my posts. There wasn’t anything in her comment that was worth replying to anymore, so I just reverted with a Haha react.

What bands have you seen live? Paramore, Coldplay (not super legally), and One Direction.

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother:  She almost became a flight attendant, but she failed the final screening because of her height. I think the idea of her nearly having a completely different career is very interesting.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13?  In my case, probably getting my period. I got my first one when I was barely 10.

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore?  Chicken curry. I also hateeeeeeeed Dora the Explorer with a passion, but now I find the show hilarious haha.

What are your plans later today? My work sched this week had been so fucking PACKED, that I want to do nothing but catch up on sleep all weekend. But seeing as I’m a proponent of revenge bedtime procrastination, I also highly doubt I’d let myself fall into a nap (Exhibit A: Me currently taking this survey at 2 AM...) If anything, I’ll probably just continue watching BTS In The Soop and finally start on Season 2 of Bon Voyage.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend?  Well, it’s the weekend already, so...that ^ I will also have to take Cooper to the vet this Sunday.

Who do you talk to the most? Other than my team at work, Angela. I’ve been extra talkative these days because of our now-mutual excessive love for BTS, that I sometimes feel bad that I keep bombarding her with messages.

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old?  Talk to my friends who are still in college, especially when they update me about the current happenings in UP that I have absolutely no clue about anymore.

Who is your best guy friend(s)?  I don’t have any best guy friends.

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?  Neither; I’m fine with my tannish skin tone.

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it?  Keep it; I already do.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Nah. My last one had been nearly 5 years ago, when I needed to get my back checked for scoliosis.

Do you think your first love still loves you?  No. And that’s okay. :)

What is something that is “going right” in your life?  EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGG I am so so happy with my life right now weeeee. I have the job of my dreams – I’m even working with THE ACTUAL K-POP GROUP SLASH PHENOMENON SLASH ICONS BTS for one of the clients I handle FHKDHGKHGFDKGHDKGH, I have the best and most supportive friends in the world, and I am now starting to grow my collection of BTS merch with my hard-earned money. Everything is going abso-fucking-lutely perfectly, and to think I didn’t think I would make it past 2020.

When did you feel ready to start dating?  Middle of high school.

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s?  I was play fighting with Cooper earlier tonight, and he got a little bit excited and ended up biting my upper lip quite harder than usual. It stung for a while, but it’s okay now.

Where were you the last time you made out?  I think it was my bedroom.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? Yesterday.

How do you type your sad smileys?  Just this :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house?  Nope.

What was the last soda you drank?  Probably the Coke I drank at an org event last year, pre-pandemic, out of sheer thirst. There wasn’t any water being served so I just gulped down the soda and tried to ignore the annoying fizziness. I don’t drink soda.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for?  I was having a video call session with my workmates this afternoon as a way to end the week on a good note, and I recounted my experience of being locked out of the office while I was in the middle of a presentation for a client, and how I managed to get myself back in.

Have you ever had any type of surgery?  Nope.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent?  No.

Who was the last person to hit on you?  No one has in a while.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to?  A deliverable a client asked me to do. It can wait til Monday.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone?  Maybe straight up admitting to my mom that she can be hurtful sometimes. It’s hard because she never actually processes things like that and they do nothing but vanish into thin air, even though it takes everything in me to be that honest.

What do you put on hot dogs?  Mayonnaise.

Ever fallen in the shower?  Like once, when I was 10 or 11.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?  Continued from last night. It was probably ‘bitch.’ Based on what I’ve learned from my mom, I put extra effort in particuarly watching what comes out of my mouth, because I know how words stick.

Do you think that things will get better?  I did, and now it has.

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?  I think I may have. The story is a little triggering though, so I wouldn’t share it.

What’s your favourite book genre?  Doesn’t really count as a genre but I like auto/biographies.

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?  I’ve felt like it, but I’ve never done it.

Do dogs like you?  Yes, at least for 99.5% of my experiences.

Would you say that you project an air of authority?  In certain circles. But there are some groups where I trust others to lead rather than me.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  Nah, because I’ve never seen one. But even if I did, I think I would be too scared to do it hahaha.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body)  One. I use it to wash my entire body already.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes?  No.

Who do you know that had a baby recently?  The son of one of my old college instructors. I believe she had been born in March because that prof recently posted family photos on Facebook that celebrated the baby’s first monthsary.

Do you like Usher’s songs?  Not in particular.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark?  Not a big fan of these as I find them unhygienic haha. The last time must have been...like anywhere between 12-15 years ago.

Have you ever ridden a train? Just once, and I had to go with Jum because I didn’t want to go alone.

What do you eat your French fries with?  Mayonnaise. If there isn’t any available, I’d want the fries to at least be generously sprinkled with salt; otherwise I’d find it too bland.

Do you have family problems?  Nothing blatant, but I know we are more dysfunctional than how we make it out to be.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale?  Pizza. I got two extra large boxes for my birthday last Wednesday and until now we still have some of it around :((( I ate some slices at around 3 AM earlier and they were tough as fuck to chew, hahaha. Still good, though.

How do you like your grilled cheese?  I don’t have grilled cheese sandwiches often. Surprise me.

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked?  I don’t cook.

What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  I liked watching my cousin play video games; playing outside; and answering my friends’ autograph books (aka my pre-survey days, lol).

Have you ever been close to drowning? Yup but just once. I was swimming and was just about to come up for air when one of my cousins, coming from the bottom of the pool, suddenly started to playfully pull me down. I was nearly out of breath by then and he had a much stronger grip on me, so I struggled for a while and ended up panicking and thrashing around a bit before I was able to wriggle myself free.

Have you ever had a panic attack?  It’s rare that it happens, but when it does it’s really bad and there’s no telling when it would subside.

Do you like doing housework?  Some, and only if I’m in the mood to. If I feel like I have to do it, then I get lazy.

Would you ever get implants?  I considered it before as a teen, back when small-chested girls were still bullied or made fun of on an everyday basis. How fucked up is that? I’m so relieved at how much social media has progressed.

Do you own a robe?  No.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? I have a younger sister but she’s barely a baby; she’s literally turning 21 this year. Nina.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off?  I like crust as long as it’s normal crust or stuffed crust. I can’t stand thin crust.

What was the last song you listened to?  Euphoria - credited to BTS, but it’s a Jungkook solo.

Have any of your family members been to jail?  Not blood relatives, but I know of super extended unrelated family members who’ve been to prison. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with?  I don’t think so. Sometimes no closure is closure.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read?  I can’t, actually. All I remember is that I suddenly wanted to read everything by the time I was 5 and asked for nothing but storybooks every Christmas.

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most?  College. Gabie also had a very big influence on me during our relationship.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled?  Yes, but it was because it was already decayed.

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school?  No, but I do elements of it in my work so that works out well for me. I wanted to be an author when I was in grade school, and today I regularly write various materials in my job.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into?  I just wanna get reconnected with The Crown again. I was already into it but I had to stop watching for a LONG time, because the show had some personal connections to my ex and so it seemed hard to get into the new season without breaking down lol. Now that I’m doing fine, I feel like it’s a good time to revisit the show.

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military?  Won’t happen here, but it’s the kind of situation where I wouldn’t really have a choice and would have to follow.

What is your favorite Queen song?  I don’t have any.

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? What do you mean, use...? Don’t you just use money to pay?? Hahaha or if you mean convert, then yeah I know how to do that with several currencies – US dollar, Korean won, Euro, Japanese yen, and whatever official name the pound has.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you?  Nope.

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test?  I have not.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do?  I usually don’t have plans laid out on weekends these days anymore, so lately it’s all been a matter of winging it and just wanting to make sure that by the end of the day I get to say I made the most out of my free time.

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl?  The time we did museum hopping + Italian dinner, or the one where we had French dinner + jazz bar.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once?  I never do rewatches for movies still in cinemas.

What is the reason you’re still alive?  I was stubborn and wanted to see if life would get better; I didn’t want to leave my dogs behind; I didn’t want to miss out on how potentially great and exciting my life could end up being; I didn’t want to cause and leave an even bigger emotional rift on my family.

I’m so happy I stayed.

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom?  Yeah. Not the best decision, and I wouldn’t do it again lol.

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed?  Sometimes, so that it doesn’t look like a bird’s nest when I wake up the next day.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.)  I don’t think so. I have definitely imagined it in...other ways, though.

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it?  Both in the superficial and loaded senses, yeah. 

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about?  I felt kind of like shit, just because I slept for only 1.5 hours – my body automatically wakes me up by a certain time, no matter what time I fell asleep. And also because my back and shoulder muscles were killing me with how sore they felt.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them?  I show it, but I don’t say it. I’m pretty stingy when it comes to that phrase.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with?  Yes? It shouldn’t be limited to people you’re dating? I express it to Anj and Andi all the time.

Have you ever been threatened before?  Sure.

Would you date someone with a physical disability?  Yes.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you?  Purely guessing, it’s likely. I’m not updated about her life anymore, though; life has been going on as if she never existed.

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it?  I’ve never had it dyed.

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid?  I went out by myself, so I paid.

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income?  Yeah. I had a very good saving streak in which I was able to save anywhere around 50-60% every month...and thennnn I became a fan of BTS early this month LOOOOOL so now I’m back to like square three when it comes to my savings haha. Like I still know my limits and when to fucking stop taking out money from my bank account, but I’ve been spending dramatically more than I have been in the last few months.

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits?  I used to go much more regularly, to the point where it was a part of my daily routine. Now I go at least once a month. I usually check out the Ask Reddit (for anecdotes), Today I Learned (for trivia), and GMM subreddits. Sometimes I’ll get on the Squared Circle subreddit as well to be updated on wrestling.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little?  Many times as a flower girl, yeah.

Are your parents in good health?  Fortunately, yes.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative?  Nope.

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?  Not that I know of.

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like?  I don’t have pajama sets since I find them too warm.

Do you have any interesting pillow cases?  Eh, I don’t think so.

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be?  Shoulder muscles or my lower back.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees?  Bees.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like?  No.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you?  Native American.

[honeymoonjin]

A/N: It’s here!!! Like I said before, this fic will be a lot lighter and more humor-based than DOPE, so that you have some variety! 3k words.

LOST IN TRANSLATION ↳What do you do when you have no qualifications but want to see the world? You help teach English in a Korean primary school, apparently. ↳Principal!Jin, math teacher!Yoongi, PE teacher!Hoseok, English teacher!Namjoon, school nurse!Jimin, art teacher!Taehyung, and science teacher!Jungkook.

CHAPTER ONE ↳You arrive in Seoul and begin to meet the teachers you’ll be spending your whole year with.

You hover awkwardly in the arrivals foyer, consulting your phone again, reading the email you had been sent a week ago. According to the information given, there should’ve been someone there for you already, waiting to drive you to the school.

But no matter how often you glanced around, up on your tiptoes as you tried to scan the massive area of Incheon International Airport, you couldn’t see any signs with your name on them.

Oh shit, you thought, what if they’ve written my name in Hangeul? You sigh and begin another dutiful look-over, deeply focused on the countless signs with Korean characters on them, trying to recognise ones that would make up your first or last name.

You just about jump out of your skin when someone taps you on the shoulder out of nowhere.

“Are you Y/n, here for teaching?” He’s younger than you were expecting for a schoolteacher, although you remember the email stating he was in charge of physical education and the rec sports teams, so maybe it was better to have someone still pretty fit. And he definitely was fit. Although he was in a grass-stained polo shirt and basketball shorts, he had a contagious smile and kind eyes, and his dark, wavy hair was endearingly a little bit messy.

Clearly you were looking over him for a little too long, because he smiles sheepishly and pats down his shirt. “Sorry about the messy clothes. I came straight from practice.”

You frown, hoping your Korean will be at least coherent if not entirely correct. “But it is 8am.”

He gives you a wide beam and laughs a little as you get through the sentence one syllable at a time. “Yes, soccer practice is from 6am to 7:30 on a Monday morning.”

“Oh. The kids still play soccer when it is very early?”

He shrugs, beginning to lead you towards the carpark area. “Actually, we have 6am sport every day of the week. Soccer on Monday, basketball on Tuesday, swimming on Wednesday. You get the idea.”

“And you teach all sport teams?”

“Your Korean is fantastic, you know?” He chimes the final part in a cutely accented English, and you blush at the praise, shaking your head modestly. “I teach almost all of the sport teams. Technically the mathematics competition team is classified as a sports team, but Teacher Min does that. You’ll meet him later.”

You nod slowly as he talks, a little overwhelmed by how fast he’s speaking. You had studied the language for five years, but all of the other teacher’s assistants you had spoken to had said a thousand times how when you were finally confronted by a native speaker in that country, your mind went blank and you forgot every single word.

It was what you had been obsessively worrying about on the whole red-eye flight over, and you were lucky that some last minute studying had made you feel a little more confident in your abilities.

He comes to a stop beside a shabby Nissan, unlocking it and gesturing for you to get into the passenger side. It smells like sweat in there, and you can see a random assortment of various balls and other equipment stashed into the backseat and boot. “Sorry about the mess in the back,” he apologises, starting the car up and pulling away towards the exits.

“You don’t need to apologise, I’m very thankful you drive me from airport to school.” The matter is forgotten completely as the car breaches the exit and your eyes are filled with light. Several skyscrapers dot the horizon line in the near distance, and everything looks so advanced and modern. There’s a large amount of people milling around outside, and the traffic just around the airport is rather congested, but the man navigates it with ease. You sit in a comfortable silence for a good half an hour before directing your gaze back inside the car with a sudden thought. “Sorry, I don’t know your name now.”

“Oh, you forgot?”

“Ah, yes, I forgot.”

He glances over at you intermittingly, hands relaxed on the wheel as he winds through the streets of Seoul. “My name’s Hoseok. Well, Teacher Jung.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/n.” You purse your lips in the awkward silence that falls, trying to work out something grammatically correct to say. “Uh, the school is good? You like it?”

He hums his affirmation, and with a surprised blink you realize the car is already pulling up to a relatively small primary school, heading towards the staff parking. “You’ll love it here. The kids are great, and the staff are more like family.” He slides into a park in one clean swoop and stops the car. “Alright, out we go.”

You can’t see much of the school before you’re taken straight to the reception building, but it looks like there are only five or six classroom blocks out back, all lined up around a slightly bumpy and overgrown sports field. When you had applied to three different schools in South Korean, they were all smaller schools. You had decided you’d feel more comfortable with a rural primary school rather than a large one in the city. But you hadn’t connected the dots that a school away from the hustle and bustle of the city meant that funding wasn’t so high.

It probably worked out quite well for a school like this to get a teacher’s assistant. You had paid for your own flights, and they basically just provided you with a homestay for accommodation and a small weekly allowance for your work. Coming fresh out of a half-completed university degree, it was a nice break from student life for you, and a good opportunity for them to save a little money on staff.

One thing that immediately stuck out to you was the lack of receptionist in the reception office. Technically, it looked more like a waiting room with a few offices branching off. Hoseok bounced up to the door right across from the main entrance and rapped three times.

Principal Kim Seokjin, the plaque read, and the amount of time it took you to work that out by reading the characters, the door was falling inwards, and a warm voice called out, “Ah, Y/n, come in!”

You look up from the silver engraving and your mouth falls open. In the correspondence that had occurred between you and the principal, you had always imagined a grouchy but softhearted, slightly older gentleman. Okay, if you were honest with yourself, you just imagined Ji Seokjin from Running Man. If the shoe fits; but in this case it most certainly didn’t.

It felt like you had stumbled straight onto a cheesy k-drama set. He had honey blonde hair that swept over his much darker eyebrows, perfect bone structure and full, pouty lips that made you want to pass out just so he could perform mouth-to-mouth. “Uh…Yes, I’m Y/n. Nicetomeetyousir.”

He grins at your rushed introduction and invites you in to sit. His office is warmer than outside, and you automatically tune in to the principal’s brief conversation with Hoseok as you take off your coat and scarf.

“…those clothes. Didn’t you have time for a shower?”

“Why am I not hearing ‘Thank you, Hoseok, I’m so grateful, Hoseok’? I could’ve easily gotten Yoongi to go. She would’ve turned right back around and hopped on the next plane out of here.”

“Go back to class, Jung. Year 3 PE starts in eight minutes.”

“You’re most welcome for picking her up, sir. I appreciate the thanks.”

Principal Kim huffs and shuts the door gently behind him, making his way back to sit behind the large desk you were sitting across from. As your gaze follows him around the room, you notice a few frames nailed to the wall; a teaching certificate, a local management award, a photo of the school itself, and, larger than the rest, a professionally-shot picture of himself, with a white blouse and some round-framed glasses, lips slightly parted and staring dead-on into the camera.

You cough lightly as he turns to you with the exact same posture and expression. “How was your flight?”

“Good. I slept the flight.” Every time you say a sentence, you cringe internally when you know you’ve messed up, but he doesn’t really seem to react.

He breaks the gaze, reaches into a drawer and pulls out a stapled pile of pages, tossing it over to you to flick through. “There’s a map of the premises, though I imagine you’ll be able to find your way around soon enough, a copy of the official contract, and some general advice for living in Korea. Don’t worry too much about all that, since you’ll be living with a member of staff. He’ll take you to and from work each day and we’ve given him some extra funding for meals for you.”

You nod gratefully. “Thank you, sir. It is very helpful.”

A grin lights up his face as he leans back in his chair. “Now, that’s the boring stuff out of the way, are you ready for a tour?”

You blink, not understanding one of the words he used. “Tour?”

He gestures vaguely around himself. “I’ll show you the school, introduce you to our other teachers, that’s what tour means.”

“Oh, I see. Yes, let’s do it!”

One of the first things you learn about Kim Seokjin is that he walks pretty fast with those long legs of his, and you spent so much energy on half-jogging to keep up with him, that as he explained the history of the school, you couldn’t really focus on that too. You tried your best to make general sounds of surprise or agreement so that he thought you were listening, and hoped you weren’t missing anything too important.

It wasn’t until you finished following him around the school field that he comes to a halt outside the first classroom and you can finally zone in on what he’s saying. “…is the physical education classroom since it’s the closest to our equipment shed. Jung is teaching in there now, but you’ve already met him, so we won’t go in. You won’t really have to go over here much, but I thought I should mention that if you ever get here early, this is the only classroom that’s unlocked since it’s where the kids meet for early morning sport. There’s a bathroom in there too, so it’s a good place to stay warm until we officially open at 8am.”

You barely have to walk fifteen meters to be standing in front of the second building. Instead of staying outside on the concrete quad, he leads you up a short wooden ramp and into a small locker room. When he continues speaking, he’s dropped his voice to a stage whisper. “To the left, Class 2, that’s a basic room, we have most classes like Korean, English and Math in there.” He pops up to the small window on the door. “Ah, Min’s doing Year 5 math. Let’s go in.”

“Oh, we don’t have to…”

Your protests go unheard as he barges right in without knocking. “Can they do Pythagoras yet, Teacher Min?”

A low voice from inside the classroom calmly replies, “You can’t do Pythagoras yet, Seokjin.”

Principal Kim turns to you from half-in, half-out of the doorway, and tips his head over to get you to follow him inside.

The voice belongs to a man with dark hair and perfect skin. Like Principal Kim, he’s pretty young, and you’re beginning to regret not listening better to Kim’s speech, wondering if he had explained why all the teachers looked well under thirty so far. He’s lounging at the desk, one leg crossed leisurely over the other, eyebrows raised from behind his glossy bangs. His students, kids around 9 years old staring blankly at the three division questions written on the blackboard.

“You haven’t placed first in a regional beauty pageant, but you don’t see me complaining,” Kim bites back.

The teacher quirks his lips up a little in bemusement. “I wonder how long it’ll take you to realize that’s not a relevant achievement in the line of education.” His dark eyes flick over to you, and he raises his eyebrows further. “The new kid arrived?”

You bow to him. “Hello, my name is Y/n, nice to meet you.”

Principal Kim smiles benevolently and turns to the kids, who have long since given up on the math questions and are watching the interaction with wide eyes. “Children, Y/n will be helping you with your English. Take good care of her.” He leans over to you. “Say a little something about yourself.”

If there’s one thing worse than being put on the spot for an icebreaker, it’s being put on the spot for an icebreaker in a foreign language. Your mind whirs on double-time as you desperately try to find something interesting to say. “I have not been to Korea before, it is very kind here but more winter than my home country.”

An unreadable smile plays on Teacher Min’s lips. “What a relief that it’s English you’ll be teaching.”

You blush violently as Kim scolds the Teacher and quickly hustles you out of the classroom, shutting the door behind him with a little more vigor than usual. “Sorry about Min. He’s the only math teacher we could find. You’ll get used to him.”

“It’s fine,” you breath out with an awkward laugh, “I know my Korean is not good. I want to learn better here.”

He pats you on the shoulder, then points behind you. “That there is our art classroom, I’ll introduce you to Teacher Kim.” You frown. “Different Kim. Actually, there are three Kims at the school including me, so we call the other two Art Kim and English Kim. Anyway, let’s go in.”

You’ve always been a little biased towards the arts; you would’ve gone to university to study art history and painting were it not for your parents insistence that education was a much better field, and so it gave you a certain kind of wonder to see the people that had pursued their dreams in the field, and the kind of life they led where their job was their passion.

Your first impression of the classroom was how chaotic it was compared to the one across the hall. Instead of four lines of chairs and tables, students were bunched into small groups dotted around the room. The room itself was lined with benches; some had sinks where old streaks of paint led down the drain, some had boxes of charcoal sticks and pastels, others held cardboard sculptures and mock-ups. A fond smile played on your face at the scene you were met with. Principal Kim had chosen not to noisily announce his presence, and you could see the teacher looking like a giant on the extra small and short children’s chairs, talking quietly but passionately to a student attempting to draw an old green bottle that sat in the middle of the table.

His voice was surprisingly deep, and his hair was much longer than most men you had seen, flopping over in the front and reaching near his shirt collar in the back. Like every art teacher you had ever met, he had an endearingly quirky fashion sense, wearing a patchy pink woolen robe over a dress shirt and pants. The other students at the table bunched up as best they could, listening intensely and looking at him like he was explaining all the secrets of the universe. You remembered that feeling of awe well.

He glanced up when the principal called out his name, and let a boxy smile overtake his face. He quickly excused himself from the table and stood up to his full height, approaching you two as the kids called out in disappointment behind him.

You notice that when Principal Kim introduces the two of you, Art Kim never once takes his eyes off of you, staring at your face with some intent curiosity. You smile at him awkwardly and give a short bow. “Nice to meet you, Teacher Kim. Art is my favorite school subject.”

His lips drop open slightly. “Oh, really? Why do you like art?”

You weren’t prepared for the extremely open-ended and opinionated question, and it takes you a moment of stumbling over your words to get any coherent thought out. “Well, I see…no, I think art is, uh, beautiful, because it is…um, it is like a conversation from artist to person looking. I’m sorry, that doesn’t make sen-”

“It makes perfect sense,” he cuts you off quickly. His chestnut hair glows under the harsh lights in the room and his eyes stare deeply into yours. “You’re completely right. Art isn’t just a picture, it’s meant to be given and experienced. The artist is sending a message to the viewer, of course, but art is nothing if the viewer doesn’t see it and give something back, even if it’s just an emotion or an analysis.”

You don’t understand most of the words he just said. “Yes, exactly.”

He smiles at you again, shyly this time. “It is very nice to meet you, Y/n. I look forward to seeing you around.”

Principal Kim looks back and forth between the two of you, blinking like he’s just as lost in the conversation as you are. “Thank you for your time, Teacher Kim, we will be moving on with the tour now.”

Art Kim bows quickly and gives you a cute little wave, then goes back to his students, pulling up a chair at a different table and immediately entering into a conversation about whether the young boy should make the sky orange and the sun blue instead of doing it the normal way.

Once you’ve left the building and stand outside in front of classroom 4, Principal Kim turns to you and tuts. “Ah, this tour is so boring! Math and drawing pictures. But don’t worry, next is the science blo-”

He’s cut off by a loud bang coming from inside, which is paired with a flash of white and kids squealing in excitement and delight. A thin wisp of smoke trails out of one of the half-open windows.

Principal Kim lets out an exhausted sigh. “Dammit, Jeon Jungkook.”

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