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ask-pride-color-schemes · 8 years ago

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Hello! I have a question for you. Ok, so I was born of the female sex and when people ask I just tell them I'm a girl. However I tend to get uncomfortable with being called a girl? Like when my mother refers to me as her daughter it feels weird? I know I'm not trans because being called a boy gets me uncomfortable as well. And at times I tend to feel more masculine then others and vice versa, but the pronouns just put me off :/ What are some possible genders that I could be? Thank you so much! !

Well... to put it bluntly, you still can be most nonbinary genders.

And you don’t need to be binary (or even transmasculine) to be trans.

Some common nonbinary identities that don’t have to do with either binary gender, and that also don’t have anything to do with masculinity or femininity (at least by default):

Agender: “A nonbinary gender identity. People who are agender feel that they lack a gender/have no gender, or that there is not a gender that fits them.While this is a distinct identity from neutrois, the two are sometimes used interchangeably by agender/neutrois people, so the definition for neutrois may also apply to some agender people.“

Neutrois: “A gender identity that feels neutral, null, or genderless. Sometimes used interchangeably with agender, as the two definitions overlap.“

Maverique: “Maverique is a gender characterized by autonomy and inner conviction regarding a sense of self that is entirely independent of male/masculinity, female/femininity or anything which derives from the two while still being neither without gender nor of a neutral gender.”

Quoigender: “Similar to quoi- as an orientation, this term describes someone who feels that the concept of having a gender does not apply or does not make sense for them.”

Stargender: “An otherworldly gender that is beyond comprehension in earthly terms, as if it originated from beyond the earth. OR a gender that cannot be defined no matter how many other terms are coined OR simply the gender of a star.”

Stellarian: “With as many possible identities and presentations as there are stars in the sky, a Stellar Nonbinary Person, or Stellarian, would be someone who does not experience strong alignment with either binary gender, or who rejects such alignment.”

(Note: stellarian is usually just used as in a gender alignment, that is, something that isn’t exactly a gender but that can be used to describe your gender or how you feel about it. However, you can just identify as a nonbinary stellarian, or as a genderqueer stellarian, just like how you can be a stellarian agender person or a stellarian genderfluid person.)

Transneutral: A term used to describe transgender people who were assigned male or female at birth, but identify with neutral gendered feelings to a greater extent than with femininity or masculinity. They usually are nonbinary but could be trans men or trans women.

(Note: transneutral is also used more as an alignment kind of thing; you can be transneutral and agender, transneutral and maverique, transneutral and androgyne, transneutral and a demigirl and so on.)

Cassgender: “A gender identity where one feels that their gender is unimportant or is indifferent to the idea of gender.”

(Note: yes, cassgender people may feel bad about being mistaken for other genders or about being referred to with certain pronouns; the indifference is mostly about the gender itself.)

Now, this next list has some other genders that you could look into, which I’m presenting to you either because:

1) You may feel some connection with girlhood, but aren’t a binary girl and don’t like being treated as one;

2) You feel masculine, but not like a boy.

Libragender:“A gender identity that is mostly agender, but has a connection to masculinity and/or femininity and/or other gendered feelings. That connection may be static (libragender, librafeminine, libramasculine, etc) or fluid, where one feels that the gender one experiences changes (librafluid).”

Mascgender or Mascugender: “A non-binary gender which is masculine in nature.”

Mingender: “Umbrella term for all genders masculine in nature. Also a term to refer to a gender that isn't fully defined but definitely masculine, or a gender in which masculinity is its defining feature (but the gender is not binary male). May simply be used as "min", ie. "my gender is min".”

Nonpuer: "Someone who is not male at all in any way, shape, or form, but feels a strong connection to masculinity within their gender. Nonpuer is the young form and Nonvir is the older form, as, similarly to the term "enby", many find "boy" (puer means boy in Latin) infantilizing.”

Juxera: “Feminine gender similar to girl, but on a separate plane and off to itself.”

Nonbinary girl: “A nonbinary gender with feminine or 'girl' qualities.”

Androgyne: A gender identity where a person experiences a blending of genders, or feels that their identity is in between genders. Usually, but not always, people who identify as androgyne feel that their identity is a blending of male and female, or somewhere between those two genders. Androgyne people may or may not choose to present androgynously.

Androgyneflux: “A state where you have fluctuating feelings of masculinity and femininity, but your gender identity stays the same. Someone who is androgyneflux can be of any gender identity (binary trans, nonbinary, cis, etc.).”

Altegender: “Derived from shortening the phrase “alternate existence.” It is a xenogender that feels as though it’s in a parallel dimension, on a different plane, in a mirror universe, or just in an alternate existence.”

Genderflux: “Having a gender which changes in intensity. Could be considered as being fluid between gendered and agender.”

(Note: you can be genderflux and never be 100% that gender or 0% that gender)

Demigender: “A gender identity that feels partially like one gender and partially like some other (usually non-identified nonbinary) gender. So, for instance, someone can be a demiboy, and feel partially like a boy but partially not.The demi label may be placed in front of any other gender label. It is most frequently seen as demigirl or demiboy, but can also be used with nonbinary genders and can be used with more than two genders (someone can be demigirl, demiboy, and deminonbinary).”

(Note: that may be the basic description of demigender, however a lot of people use it more like “having a faint connection to that gender, but not necessarily having another gender along with it”)

About these last three genders: you can switch -gender with any gender, not just binary ones. If your gender is masculine, but not male, and it changes intensity from time to time, you can be nonpuerflux or mascflux, for example.

I would originally give some more random examples so you could see how varied gender identities can be, but I think this is long enough as is.

Feel free to ask further about any of those identities if you want to know more, or feel free to do research on them on your own (just be careful because a lot of results may be mocking those identities).

Regardless of how you feel about your gender itself, it could also be useful to look for some pronoun lists, if you don’t feel like you fit either she/her or he/him. A few common ones are they/them, e(y)/em, ne/nem, fae/faer, ze/hir, ze/zir and xe/xem, but there are hundreds of possibilities out there.

I would also advise to avoid saying you or anyone else was “born of/into a [male/female] sex”, because this is merely a gender assignment. People are assigned/designated as male or female since birth, sure, but since Western/eurocentric society is extremely cissexist and dyadist, there is a conflation of actual sex, assigned sex and gender that is really harmful to intersex and non-cis people in general.

I suggest using “assigned [gender] at birth” (AGAB, usually manifests as AFAB or AMAB), or “designated [gender] at birth” (DGAB, usually manifests as DFAB or DMAB).

I hope I didn’t leave you too confused! Feel free to ask further questions!

~ Tath

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