#yes I'm still alive I'm just terrible at finishing things so I'm sitting on a bunch of drafts
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When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is I reach for my phone. I've seen a lot of articles say that doing this is supposed to be bad for you, you're supposed to limit your screen time and not use electronic devices in bed and blah blah blah... but whoever wrote those articles clearly wasn't living my life.
Hell, I barely know who's living my life.
See, the reason I check my phone in the morning is because checking it is the only way I'm gonna find out what I did last night. Take, for example, the photo I found on it this morning.
Oh god, I'm cringing just looking at it. I didn't take this photo! Yeah, sure, I'm a hot guy who goes to the gym, but I swear I'm not the kind of douchebag who would pose nude like this. Someone else took this photo, and they used my body to do it.
Scrolling through the apps on my phone, I begin to piece together the events of last night. According to some Lyft receipts, my body left the house a bit before midnight and headed across the bridge to uptown, and didn't head back home until around five in the morning.
My bank statement informs me that I stopped at a fancy store to buy a new jacket (which I find in the closet) and then I headed to a bar I'd never heard of where I bought several rounds of shots and a plate of mozzarella sticks. It's even logged in my calorie counter app.
On Instagram I've been tagged in a story by someone I've never met before, and when I click on it there's a short video clip of a man standing on a table in some bar shaking his perky ass around and- oh, yup, the guy is me. I tap to the next video and my body has lost its shirt, probably so everyone can see my abs flexing as I do body rolls, and then in the next clip I'm down to just my skivvies and a stranger's hand is grabbing my junk and shaking it around. Thankfully, that's the last video in the lineup- though there's an ache in my ass that hints that it wasn't where the night ended.
This might sound like the kind of fun, drunken bender that a guy my age might get up to, but that's not what's going on here! I don't know why, but for the past few months every time I've gone to sleep at night, my body has woken back up and gone back out. At first I thought I was just sleepwalking- mom said I did it all the time as a kid -but sleepwalkers don't do the things that my body does.
Sleepwalkers walk. My body hits the town.
I always wake up safe and sound in bed in the morning, which is a small blessing, but everything else is a complete mystery. I don't know what is doing it, or how they're doing it, but I'm pretty sure it's another person. They basically told me so.
A few weeks after it started I bought a night vision camera and set it up to monitor my bedroom, hoping to glean some sort of clue about what exactly was happening to me, but whoever was in my body just deleted the footage. When I woke up in the morning, the only thing I found on the camera was a very long video of my body shoving a dildo up my ass, moaning like a whore while the other hand explored the muscles of my torso... and at the end of it, when my body was finally drenched in semen, it looked straight into the camera and winked.
The me in the video had a cocky expression on his face that I'd never seen before and to be honest, that kinda freaked me out! In a fit of desperation, I decided to leave a note taped to my bedroom door.
What do you want? I wrote. And when I woke up in the morning, someone had written something underneath it:
; )
Which... I still don't know what to make of that. I think whoever is doing this thinks that they're funny. Since then, my body snatcher has gotten into the habit of leaving me little notes and photos like the one up there.
My body snatcher seems to really like my body, which- hey, I'm proud of it too! You don't work as hard as I do on my abs without being a little vain, and if I was gonna snatch someone's body I'd probably go for someone who was packing a dick like mine. I can't even say that I blame them. But the number of photos I've found on my phone of myself groping my pecs, flexing my big biceps for the camera, licking my own armpits... it's a bit too much.
And that's the absolute worst part of it! Whoever's doing it is getting cocky. Look at that photo- the camera set-up, the hand written note, the strategically placed paint... this isn't just some random selfie taken on the spot, this required setup. They're mocking me, letting me know that they've got me where they want me and there's nothing I can do about it.
The pictures have only been getting bolder and more scandalous- some of the more recent ones were taken in public places, and they're starting to involve props. I'm nervous about what they're going to come up with next- but I guess I won't know until I wake up.
#male possession#yes I'm still alive I'm just terrible at finishing things so I'm sitting on a bunch of drafts#but I like this confessional style format so I might toy with it more
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She's Alive?!? (Alive may be a stretch LMAO)
HEY FRIENDS, IT'S ME 🥹 (Madeline fills y'all in below the cut)
Safe to say from the absolute radio silence on here for the past month and a half, life has been absolutely kicking me right in the tits. As of today (after telling my principal), I am officially done with teaching at the end of this school year. It's been the strangest feeling ever- while it is such a huge relief to know the tremendous amount of physical and mental stress that teaching has been for me is only 15 days away from coming to an end, it also hurts to think that the thing I once had so much passion and love for has burned out so quickly. I've been having such a hard time coming to terms with the fact that teaching isn't where I want to be anymore, and the teacher guilt in me about it is still eating me alive.
This school year has been so draining for me that the past month I have done the same routine every single day as followed: Wake up, cry going into work, try to make it through the day without having a mental breakdown from kids screaming/ridiculous parent emails/insane requests from the district/one of my kids threatening to bring a gun to school (yes, this did happen, and yes, it's the 3rd grade!!! 🙂), cry on my way home from school, look for jobs and change my resume for the thousandth time and cry again bc no one will hire me, and then go to sleep and do it the next day!! On top of that, I've just been dealing with a lot of other big life things that have taken up so much time/mental energy, I am legit crawling to the finish line that is the last day before summer break.
I will be completely honest with you when I say that I legit have not opened a Google Doc for NTL in a month and a half, and truth be told, I don't know the next time that I will. I truly do miss being on here and all of the wonderful people, and I feel terrible that I have been no where to be found. Thank you to everyone who's sent me a DM or an ask to ask if ya girl is okay, I really appreciate you more than you know 🥺💛
I'm really hoping the summer brings some new peace/inspiration to start writing again, but please know if you don't hear anything from me in the near future, either know 1. I didn't make it out of the school year alive or 2. I am sitting in the sun like a lizard on a hot rock letting all of the stress dissolve from my body until I start to feel like a normal human again 🥴
I love all of you so much, I hope that everything in all of your lives are going well and that I am giving each one of you a big kiss on the forehead and sending you all of my love 🥺💕
ALSO Y'ALL BEST BELIEVE I AM CELEBRATING MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL WITH A CORONA BC PEDRO WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK 😩
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~What Will Never Be~
(BabyAU variant)
[PART. 2/?]
Heeeey don't pay attention to this, especially if you're not feeling good, this will be a "short" (in theory) BabyAU variant with a soft Raphael (yeah so I'm not respecting his character at all), but this is not going to be a happy thing to read. You can find the first part here.
Sometimes I really like torturing myself with horrible ideas, it makes me feel powerful emotions and I thought I could write one of them here...
TW: miscarriage
Kill them... He wanted to kill them. They were lying, there was no other way. The news hit him like a physical punch, as if the world has stopped. His child... Was gone. He had never imagined he would feel like this one day, but his heart shattered and his mind reeled with grief and pain. The room seemed to spin around him and he needed to rest his elbows on the edge of the bed to steady himself. He looked up at the nurses.
"No... That can't be...", he looked at the bundle in the midwife's arms and his hands clenched into fists. He has never felt this much pain and despair before... It was pretty new and terrible... His hand reached Luvia's face again, he needed to feel her, to know she was still here, still alive.
"Oh my dear..." He whispered, imagining the moment she would wake up and would have to face the reality again. He tried to push aside those overwhelming feelings, in vain.
"Do you wish to see him, my lord...", the main nurse asked.
Him. It was a boy. He had a son... The question was like a dagger to the devil's heart but he wanted to see him, to hold him... After a long moment of hesitation, he whispered "Yes..."
The horned woman brought him the buddle and he took it, his hands almost shaking as he looked down the tiny and lifeless form. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of the child's face. He was so small, so fragile... He didn't even look real, like a doll made of porcelain.
He didn't expect to feel a few tears rolling on his cheeks as he realized the enormity of his loss. He heard a muffled sob coming from the bed next to him, when he looked up, he noticed that Luvia was awake, her eyes teary as she looked at the baby. The cambion's heart broke at the sight of her tears and her painful expression. He wanted to say something, to comfort her, but there was no words for a moment like this. He just stood there, their child in his arms, his own heart breaking with every sob that left her lips.
"D... Do something... Please. You must do something..." She begged weakly.
He froze, his heart ached at her plea.
"My dear... There is nothing I can do... He's gone, my love"
He could see it in her eyes. The moment her heart broke as the last bit of hope shattered. Her face crumbled, tears streaming down like a silent river.
"Shh, my love... It's okay... I am here...", he whispered, doing his best to keep his composure. She shifted her position on the bed so she could sit up and have a better view of her child. The devil gently sat down beside her, the fragile form on his lap. She touched his tiny face, her fingers tracing his soft, unmoving features.
He buried his face in her hair, the softness of it a small comfort in the midst of the heartache. They stayed like that for a long while, holding each other, the silence only broken by her sobs and his whispered words of comfort. He didn't know how long they stayed like that but eventually, her sobs subsided, replaced by shuddering breaths.
He slowly pulled away, looking into her tear-streaked face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her body was trembling. His touch was soft and tender as he caressed her cheek.
"My love...", he whispered, "Are you... ?"
He wanted to ask if she was alright but he knew it was a stupid question, she was far from alright. And yet, he didn't need to finish his sentence for her to understand. She sniffed.
"I... I don't think so..."
His heart clenched at her small, weak voice, the words almost a whisper. The truth was, he didn't think he was alright either. He gently wiped a tear away with his thumb from her face. She buried her face in the crook of his neck.
"Raphael, I want to wake up... Tell me this is just a nightmare, and that I'll wake up..."
He pulled her closer, feeling her body shaking against his. He couldn't say what she wanted to hear... And felt a pang of anger when he thought he had left her alone during this crucial moment.
At some point, she took the bundle in her arms, "He looks so peaceful...", she said, "There... There must be a way to... To bring him back, no?"
"My love..."
"I'm sorry... It's just... It hurts so much"
She took a moment to admire their offspring again, until she asked...
"But... What will happen to him?"
The innocent question broke his heart even more. He hated the thought of their child being away from them, it was painful, but he knew there was no other choice. The nurses would keep him and take care of his body until he gets a proper burial, he had answered.
"But I... I don't... I don't want to..." She couldn't finish her sentence but it wasn't hard to understand. She didn't want to leave her child, it would make the whole situation more... Real. Painfully real. The Cambion understood her reluctance and her fear of facing the reality of their loss, as he felt the same way.
"I... I can't", she sobbed, "I want him to open his little eyes... To look at me... To look at you. I want to hear his cries and his laughs. To feel his tiny fingers grabbing mine. I want to feel his warmth against me while I feed him, to kiss his tiny face to comfort him. I want to see him grow up and become the person he was supposed to be... I...", but her voice broke again as new tears rolled on her cheeks.
Her words were like spears. All the hope, all the dreams they had for their little one, shattered before their eyes. He couldn't bear to see her suffer this much. But from now on, they would have to get over it together...
A year later...
The time passed like a blur. Raphael spent most of his waking hours by her side. He tried to keep up a facade of strength for her sake, but inside he was crumbling, crushed by the weight of his own grief. He tried to help her through the darkness, through the waves of despair that would consume her at times. They would sit together, in silence, each wrapped up in their own pain and sorrow.
The light had gone from her eyes, replaced by a shadow of sorrow. He knew that she was struggling just as much as he was, if not more so. It was a cruel fate that she had been dealt... To carry and nurture their child for nine months, to feel his movements, his life inside her... Only to lose him in the end. It was a pain that he couldn't imagine, that he could only watch and try to ease as best as he could. He remembered the look in her eyes when she had handed the lifeless body to the midwives. It was a sight he would never forget.
He had seen grief before, (and took pleasure in it even) but never so pure, so all-consuming, and this one was far from entertaining. It was as if her soul had vanished, leaving behind an empty shell. He tried to be strong for both of them, but in the solitude of his own thoughts...
He would lie awake at night, staring into the darkness, his mind filled with memories of what could have been, of their child's potential, his life cut tragically short. The days went by, the weeks passed, and still their sadness didn't lessen. They barely spoke, it was as if the world around them had faded.
They tried to find comfort in each other but it was as if their suffering had built a wall, a barrier between them that they couldn't seem to break through. They would lie in bed together, their bodies close but their hearts far apart. They would hope to find solace in each other's presence. But the pain too intense.
Sometimes she would cry, her tears like salt in open wounds. He would hold her, his own tears falling silently, his heart breaking all over again.
And sometimes he would cry, his shoulders shaking as he tried to muffle his own sobs. He felt so pathetically vulnerable... And he hated that. But she would hold him, her arms around him, her fingers stroking his hair, her own tears falling silently as well. They were both strong and powerful beings, but in the face of this unbearable loss, they were just two broken souls.
Sometimes they would talk but they didn't have much to say. They would remember the little moments, the fleeting happiness they had felt together, like the first time they had felt their child move in her belly. And those moments, so brief... Too brief, were now a bitter reminder of what they had lost.
Moreover, Luvia was paler than ever. The color had faded from her face, her skin ashen, as if the grief had drained the life from her. He longed to see the rosy hue in her cheeks again, the sparkle in her eyes. But all the devil saw was a pale shadow of the woman he loved.
He worried about her, about her health, both physical and mental. She was distant, closed off, as if she had retreated so far into herself that she could no longer hear him. Luvia would barely eat and she would respond to his touches with a blank stare. A part of her had died along with their child... Her laughter was gone, her smile a distant memory.
One day, Raphael was busy at his desk, keeping an eye on his beloved who was seated in an armchair not far away. Luva tried as best as she could to escape her reality by getting lost in the story of a book, but unable to concentrate, she closed it and raised her head. And that's when she saw it, this imposing mirror resting on the wall in front of her. It's been an eternity since the last time she paid attention to such objects. She stared at it for a long moment, then she got up...
Raphael was surprised to see her move, his eyes widening as she stood up. He watched her every move as she made her way slowly towards mirror. Once she reached it, she looked at herself, her expression stoic, her eyes emotionless.
She studied her reflection, her eyes roving over her face, her body, as if she was seeing herself for the first time. The Cambion couldn't help but feel a pang of worry as he watched her. She seemed so detached, so disconnected, she didn't seem to recognize the woman staring back at her. Then her features shifted, her brows furrowing into a frown. It was a small change, but it was the first emotion he had seen in her hollow gaze.
Raphael's eyes widened in shock as she suddenly screamed in rage and swung her fist into the mirror, causing it to shatter into pieces. Glass scattered across the floor, some of the shards embedding into her knuckles, making some blood drop on the floor.
Part 3 coming soon
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Hello, amazing person.
I am asking for yet again another WHB headcanon from you because I cannot sleep and would like to know; How would our dear demons sleep ? If they sleep at all.
We know for a fact that at least Hades' demons share a room, Barbatos talks in his sleep (from Foras' daily chat), that Stolas needs his pillow... (Stolas' daily chat) but how do you picture the rest of them ?
Do they wear fancy pajamas or stay naked ? Do some of them require a plushie or a special pillow, even drag someone to cuddle with ? Do they even have actual beds or sleep on a couch instead ? Do they sleep on the side of the mattress or with splayed limbs like a starfish ? Tell me everything.
- 🪰
🪰anon sent me a request. I cannot ignore it. Even though they are also making me take a (terrible) test to figure out my second gender. They just keep distracting me from my important task of finishing my OC splash pages. My brain is fried, but I shall respond 😤
Is it bad if I think Andrealphus sleeps with his eyes open? Like, maybe not fully, but at least partly. Like, they were so badly injured when he was young that I feel there was a period of time where he couldn't properly close them, so he learned to sleep with them open to some capacity. Also don't think he can sleep in the same room as other people because he never knows who may stab him in the back/unsure he will wake up to them still alive. He has trauma, man... Also, he sleeps in the clothes he wore all day.
Bathin sleeps perfectly still and can sleep anywhere. In his travels, he has had to sleep in some strange, small, and/or questionable places so he's learned to roll with the punches.
Gusion counts sheep for fun. Except he counts in weird paterns. Think... He'll count by primes (2,3,5,7,11,13,etc) or squares (1,4,9,16,25,etc).
Naberius sometimes sleeps in puppy form. He also sleeps naked.
Bael hasn't used his own bed in so long that it has gathered dust.
Valefor somehow goes weight training in his sleep. I'm not sure how that's possible, but he has.
Eligos bed is filled will stuffed animals of only the highest quality. They each have a name and a backstory. They are absolutely perfect, not a stitch out of place. There are so many that they are used in place of pillows. Also, he has an absolutely insane bedtime skin/hair routine to make sure he wakes up as cute as always. He, of course, has the most adorable sheer pajamas.
Bimet sleeps cuddling an old school piggy bank.
Marbas sleeps tied to his bed. It's his thing. He enjoys it very much.
Dantalian sleeps in an Ebenezer Scrooge outside. I cannot explain this one. It's just a vibe.
Phenix wakes up to ruined sheets every morning because he can't escape endless orgasms even in his sleep. Yes, he sleeps naked. He also has super soft sheets. Like, the softest.
Astaroth's snake is free roam at night, but he always wakes up to it already cuddled around him because it's looking for warmth (and love).
Paimon will never allow anyone to know it, but he wakes up a hot mess every morning and spends hours getting himself put together.
Getting near Leraye while he sleeps? You will be cuddled and he won't let go.
I feel like Glasyalabolas sleeps sitting up? I don't know why, but I can picture him in a chair, arms crossed, and very stoic in his sleep. He wakes up the second someone enters the room and will wake up. Light sleeper things.
Bonus: Solomon never slept alone. I don't think anyone would let him. lol
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sorry if it's been asked before but what are your top 10 fics??
Hey, Anon!
I don't tend to really list anywhere my favorites ~anything~, so I'll go from memory (as always).
Also, I'm terrible at big quantity, so I'll do a top "what I can come up with" instead (sorry 🥺).
These aren't listed in any particular order! I'll also @ the writers I know that are on Tumblr. All the fics are linked in case you guys want to go read them :)
Opening Pandora's Box by Nightowljane
This is a Gojo x Reader fic on AO3 in which both characters have a meaningful conversation about Gojo's and Geto's fallout (bisexual Gojo implied). It's a beautiful and quick read, I loved it with all my heart, the dialogue is incredibly well written, and God knows I'm a complete SUCKER for good dialogue.
2. The Ghost of You by Rampagescandal
This fanfic centers around Nanami's thoughts as he sits beside Haibara's lifeless body in Jujutsu High's morgue. I just discovered this gem today, and I'm ecstatic to recommend it (I'm still working on my comment on AO3, lol), and God knows how much I like reading stories about grief. First off: the MCR reference in the title? I mean??? I'M GOING TO CRY (I actually did while reading it). I don't want to spoil anything, but everyone is beautifully in character, and it addressed something I thought about for the longest time (how Nanami probably blamed Gojo to some extent when it all went down). It's a great and quick read, I highly recommend it.
3. Ikemen Kaisen by @rahuratna
If you wanted more filler episodes/chapters from JJK or are finished with the light novels but still need more canon-alike content, this is the one for you. While I was reading this, I actually felt like I was reading one of the light novels, and the characters depictions are so extremely on point — it still is, to date, my favorite fan depiction of Nanami ever. I mean, whoever follows me or has asked me about a fic I love has probably heard this already, lol. I also read this kicking my feet like a school girl. From their interactions to the world building, everything is just on point. Mwah, chef's kiss.
4. If art can be touched, will you let me hold you? by @seiwas
I read this in one go so fast. I'm so not normal about it. Firstly, the way the author weaved the motif all throughout the story was SO WELL DONE I could've wept, for real. Also, the parallels between sculpting, bread making and other things were amazingly well executed. This fic is on the very sensory side of things (at least for me), so it felt like I was reading living, breathing words — it feels alive. It's an amazing experience, and I'd totally read an entire book of this.
5. The widow's keeper by @pseudowho
I cried from beginning to end. I mean, is it possible to read it WITHOUT crying? If it is, please let me know. I'm very much someone who enjoys reading and watching media about grieving, so when this one appeared for me, it was an instant "yes sir please I want it". The most painful (and beautiful) thing about grief, at least for me, is the love that lingers on, and oh boy, it is beautifully woven into the story here. It's about guilt, grief, loss, and the life and keeps moving forward despite parts of the ones we still love being forever bound to the past. This one is also a must, do not skip it.
And that's it, I got to top 5. Hope you guys enjoy my recs :)
🦉
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Thanks for the tag @yletylyf <333
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 13
2. What's your total A03 words count? 351,919
3. What fandoms do you write for? grishaverse and castlevania. i'm still a baby writer, having started actively contributing to fandom works not quite 2 years ago.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
we are the wild youth chasing visions of the future (gv, aleksander/alina), young liars (gv, aleksander/nikolai), with the sun against our back (gv, aleksander/nikolai), winding and unwinding (gv, aleksander/nikolai), i will eat you alive (gv, aleksander/nikolai)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
yep, almost all! if i receive several in a row, chapter after chapter and by the same person, than i will more likely just respond to the last one, but i do like giving an answer to any feedback and show of love i get!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
um, good question. i don't think I've written a true angsty ending. i have several open/ambiguous endings, but the ending for me and the devil (gv, aleksander/alina) is the most ambiguous of the bunch just because it can be interpreted as alina just going stir-crazy from being alone and forgotten for so long and imagining aleksander by her side and staying with her, so it can be angsty if you take it that way.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
with the sun against our back (gv, aleksander/nikolai) cause they end up pseudo married and ruling together (yay!)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
nope! too small a fandom writer for that and i'm ever thankful for it!
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
me? smut??? XD just look at the rating for each fic and the associated tags, i guess i do love developping characters through the very intimate act of them falling in bed together. no real kinky sex or anything, but there's often lots of hidden (and not so hidden) feelings behind the act. most smut i've written can be considered rough and/or passionate, since there's a kind of desperation born out of the characters thinking they only have that one single time to be with the other so they're giving their all. i do love exploring the vulnerabilities that come from that for sure!
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
no i haven't. it's never really been my fav thing, but if done well, it'd read one.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don't think so, not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
i had someone asking to translate one, yes.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
no!
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
that i've written? aleksander/nikolai in gv for sure, aleksander/alina a close second. but as a reader, i just love love love the perfect OT3 that is alucard/trevor/sypha from castlevania (if you haven't read baba by crownofpins, GO READ IT NOW)
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
none, i'm just terribly slow right now. life is throwing a ton of shit at me (dog being very sick, work is horrible, energy at the lowest point), but i keep daydreaming about each fic and slowly coming up with future parts in my head if not on paper.
16. What are your writing strengths?
ah man i don't know, getting into the character's head for which i'm writing the pov from, making their thoughts and feelings just as important as anything going on. i guess because of that i strongly favour inner conflict storylines.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
too wordy. also pantsing my way thru a fic instead of really sitting down and coming up with a plan ― we are the wild youth chasing visions of our future really forced me to come up with a strong plan, which i never would have been able to do without @theonewiththeory's immense help, girl i never would have been able to achieve what i did without you!! it is my first fic in english, the first one i wrote as an adult, and it shows, but i'm still proud of it! but i definitively continue to struggle with planning and too often i fall into the bad habit of vibing along with it. also, big external-conflict plotting is a hard thing for me, tho i wish i could become better at it since it's always so fun as a reader and i'm always impressed by writers who pull an intricate plot so flawlessly!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
i'm not a fan of it. so often the other language is plain up butchered, and there are ways to do it without having to juggle the hassle of writing a dialogue in another language and needing to translate it so the reader knows what's going on. but as all things, they are exceptions to the rule and anything can be done well!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
oh man the lord of the rings (with a very mary sue oc even! but i remember having such self-indulging fun with that oc and all the research needed to flesh the story out) and the legend of zelda/ocarina of time (at least i went with link for my mc in this one!)
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
when i was 12, i started a complete rewrite of ocarina of time which i of course never posted online. it was in french and i was only doing it for fun. but i still have one version of it and oh boy is it cringe-worthy XD big fail, i read that question as the first fic written ― my brain is really elsewhere these days. my fav fic is definitively with the sun against our back (gv, aleksander/nikolai) which became a comfort reread when i need to feel better by reading about familiar and intimate characters. the whole series (of monsters and men) is something i'm really proud of, even with its faults and misgivings, but that third and final part has left me with the biggest impact personally.
Tagging: i'll tag a few people (no pressure, it's only if you want of course!), but anyone else who see this and wanna do it too, have fun with it (and tag me! i wanna read about people <3)
@theonewiththeory, @ladyverdance/@greensaplinggrace, @inahandful-of-dust, @aloveforjaneausten, @fantomette22, @goatsandgangsters, @zizygy, @itsnotunfinisheditsmystyle
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Ranking the Alien and Predator movies as I watch them for the first time.
Okay, before I start I just want to explain again that for years I've tried to get into the Alien movies, I've seen the first bit of Alien a few times when I've tried to watch them and I have seen all of Aliens but don't really remember it. I also watched Alien vs Predator a while ago and absolutely loved it. I'm also pretty sure I've seen the first bit of Predator maybe two times but never finished it, I've also seen Prey when It came out and really enjoyed that. So with the new Alien film coming out, and it looks SO GOOD! I thought I would actually sit down and properly watch the movies, and of course the Predator movies too. So enjoy!
Alien (1979) - The OG! Im sure if I saw this when it first came out it would have been an experience, unfortunately I wasn't alive then so, but I can very much appreciate the impact it had on audiences. A very good introduction to Ripley, and it was so nice to see John Hurt!! (Merlin OG here) Also Jonesy, I love you.
Aliens (1986) - Fav! I don't even have to finish the others, this is my favorite one. HICKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. It was just incredible and I can't even tell you why, wait yes I can! HICKS FLIRTING WITH RIPLEY. Justice for this little family! we should of had Ripley, Newt and Hicks as a little family unit going around a killing Aliens. We were ROBBED. Also the start of Bill Paxton cameos.
Predator (1987) - Amazing, very suspenseful and just a very good introduction to the Yautja. I also think the scenery and them being in a jungle was a very good choice, especially with the whole camouflage. Got very attached to Billy though which was a mistake, I mean I knew he was going to die but still was very upset when he actually died.
Predator 2 (1990) - Okay, let's get the good things out of the way first, Bill Paxton cameo part 2, he was so good! I wonder how he felt knowing he was one of only two actors to be killed by a Xenomorph, a Yautja and Terminator. Other than that this was terrible, I found it so hard to finish, I don;t know why but the atmosphere that was in the first one just wasn't here.
Alien 3 (1992) - What the actual hell was this?? First Killing Hicks and Newt, like??? HOW DARE YOU. But this movie just wasn't it. I will now refuse to acknowledge this movie exists. I was however surprised and felt quite sad about finding out about Ripley gaining an Alien in her chest during hypersleep and then killing herself so that the company couldn't have it.
Alien: Resurrection: (1997) - Just going to say this now, I don't know how I feel about the whole thing of Ripley being cloned, I felt it really took away from her sacrifice in Alien 3, But on the other hand Creepy Clone Ripley did grow on me. WINONA RYDER?! I love Call so much, I did not see that coming! I was so upset when she got shot. Also! (Robin Hood Prince of Thieves here!) Hi Michael Wincott! nice to see you again. Not going to lie, however I feel about the Cloning I did really enjoy this one, and was please to see it brought back some hope for me after Alien 3. Also the new Alien that came out of the queen, giving everyone puppy dog eyes and then just attacking them pahahha! Amazing.
Alien vs Predator (2004) - Now this is the movie that I remember seeing and loving and rewatching it just proved that I still loved it, The whole hidden pyramid was so interesting, and I'm really glad they did it like that. Not really much to say, I just really like this one.
AVPR: Alien vs Predator - Requiem: (2007) - I honestly don't remember most of this, not going to lie. Safe to say I didn't like it.
Predators: (2010) - Started to watch this but turned it off, I think i'm just going to stick with Predator, Alien vs Predator and prey.
Prometheus: (2012) - I did like this one! it was very different from the other Alien movies, wouldn't say it was one of my favs though.
Alien: Covenant: (2017) - This one unfortunately is going to the bottom of the list, did not like it at all.
Alien: Romulus: (2024) - ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS FILM. I really need to rewatch it but my god it was good! it very much felt like aliens did and i love that!
All in all I think the ones I will rewatch many times are Aliens, Alien; resurrection (I'll overlook the Ripley clone thing) and Alien; Romulus. Most definitely Aliens because Hicks I love you and I haven't stopped thinking about you! Also Joansey was the best character.
#alien#aliens#alien 3#alien resurrection#predator#predator 2#alien franchise#alien vs predator#prometheus#alien covenant#alien romulus
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a goodbye letter.
hello everyone, it's been a long time, isn't it?
i haven't written anything in months and tbh even if i wanted to further give life to all my wips, i wish i had even a drop of motivation and energy to do so. some of you might have as well forgotten about my little blog, which had its own humble beginnings. and tbh i don't mind at all. it's been, i don't know almost 5+ years that i've had this blog. i started it out during the last two years of my high school, when i was struggling very much to cope with all the pressure and anxiety. this little corner of the internet became my comfort space. i could pour my heart out into snippets of letters and the love that i received from all of you who were there from the beginning only fueled my passion to write more and of course, helped me immensely in escaping the cruelty of my reality.
since then, i have graduated school. my reality is still harsh but i'm surviving. i have also graduated from my college with two degrees that i was doing simultaneously. currently, i'm preparing to sit down for my master's 1st-year exam coming months and job surfing at the same time. tbh i wish i had enough energy and positivity to motivate myself to pen down something. but it seems like we have to finally pull the curtains down on this blog.
yes, there is a lot of stuff that's still pending to be completed as you will know if you care to check my masterlist. but i'm not going to give you any false hope by saying that someday i will magically come back and finish and place them all in front of you. it would be too selfish of me to keep you on your toes like that.
i know i've let down a lot of you. many have told me me how much, especially my letters have helped you guys during hard times. even though i know i shouldn't even bother to think like this considering i know none of you in-person. still, it's the crippling humanity in me. honestly, i feel sad for myself. my life took so many things away from me. even the capacity to keep this comfort space alive for myself. some of you have left a long time ago. probably life has happened to you all too. i have also met some of you during the latter part of my journey here and i'm very glad that you all loved my work even with all my incompetency in keeping up with the schedules. you guys were too kind to me.
this actually came too suddenly - this realization that something needs to end. i don't think there will come any other time in the future when i'll read fanfics or write them myself. but it's a bit too much to delete the whole blog considering the reblogs will still exist in the tumblr algorithm. therefore, the letters will still be up along with the fics.
although i don't think i will stop writing. i have my substack where i will experiment with my creative writing but that's just my way of growing up as a writer. these days i'm too busy both in my head and physically, i wish i can overcome becoming a moss. my produce is sparse but my want is bigger than that. although for fanfics, there's no want anymore. i've had my fill and i'm sad to say, this is where we part.
pffbts is thus archived. all my posts will remain. if you send in any mundane sweet ask, i will answer them as soon as possible. kindly please don't send in any requests for fics (i've had to delete a couple of them from my ask box and it felt terrible.) i'm not completely going away. as a person, i will stay. it's just the fanfic writing part of me that will take a permanent leave. i'm almost 24 and it's been almost 10 years that i've started out in creating fanfics. i think it's enough, nah? plus writing this post for you all has strangely made me feel calm, as a certain baggage has been let down from my shoulders.
thank you to you all from the past & the present. i hope you all stay well and healthy. it has been truly a good time to have you all with me.
-K.
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I finished Ordem Paranormal: Calamidae Episode 3! Wa hoo! A shorter episode, which obviously means this will be a shorter journal post right? Right???
And we're back with the Ordo crew! So happy to have my little guys again, I missed them. The Escripta crew was very interesting though, glad to have met them, looking forward to another session with them. I'm actually writing this having started Episode 4 because up until now I've had time to watch bits of episodes but not sit down and write up a big post like this. But I'm here now!
Me and my mutuals reblogging and liking each other's posts back and forth.
There isn't too much I want to talk about this episode. My last post sure was. A long one. I'll try to keep this one to the basics.
This episode should just be renamed to Carina and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. Jokes aside, though, Gabi was just. Holy shit. The sobbing, fuck, the voice cracking; the sheer vitriol and anguish and desperation. Chills. Her acting for Carina in this moment felt so raw, open wound. The pain in her voice. Ugh. God. Phenomenal.
The Devil sure is scheming something. More mentions of an oncoming "war," and an invitation to seemingly join a side. But seriously---invitations to a game from Kian, delivered by the Devil, found in Signore Leone's chest, locked in a box with the key found with blood beast Signora Leone, with the symbol from Arnaldo's grimoire on the envelopes. Okay. What the fuck. Whose side, exactly?? This "invitation" sure seems to have passed through a lot of hands. The battlefield of this war is currently a tangled mass of who-do-I-hate-less and my guys need to focus on just making it out of this mansion alive because oh shit there is a whole entire horde of blood zombies after them now D:
You know it's really funny. In my first journal post I was talking about how blood zombies are, at best, tutorial creatures to help new and returning players learn the revised combat mechanics, but now they're STILL TUTORIAL CREATURES MY GUYS FUCKED EM UP ROCKED THEIR SHIT TORE THEM TO SHREDS LETSGOOOO.
Highlights from this fight for me are: Carina turning into a human blender with her knife when in the zombie mosh pit, Dante dual-wielding his AoE spiral ritual, and "torretta."
Then there was the Hanna blood zombie. Lovely lovely detail to include that it looks like its limbs were reattached at wrong angles, as well as the Japanese character carved where its face would be. My boy is an artist <3
Really, though, it feels so. Mh. How do I say this. It's the fact that it's basically a creature of his own creation, intentionally or not. His hatred for the paranormal and the creatures it harbors vs the fact that he is somewhat responsible for this abomination existing. He feels. I don't want to say he feels unhuman, to call him no longer "human" would be doing the character a disservice, but he feels slightly left of human, you know? Not quite creature-coded, but more along the lines of a force of nature. A force of pain. Something that brings things like this into the world. Hanna, having been a powerful occultist in life, was always going to leave behind a powerful creature if left in a paranormally active area, but now it has some of Joui's influence on it and some of Joui's wrath inflicted upon it, which certainly has to be helping on the power-front.
I don't know. There's something about this that I feel like I'm walking around but not quite landing on. Get back to me in 3-5 business days.
(Update: I'm starting to think thoughts, and I might be terribly wrong about Joui being Death-leaning-but-backed-by-Blood-because-Devil and is instead just Blood. Not going to elaborate more because those thoughts need to stay in the pot to cook a little while longer but I really do hope Joui is still Death-leaning. Please it would make me specifically so happy.)
In any case, they took care of creature, even if it landed on top of Carina (ouch). Oh and the fan. Yes, the fan. Surprised that the fan does not, in fact, give the infamous paralysis ritual, which is what it was used for, and instead gives a zoomy ritual. Hanna does have multiple fans. According to Arthur's reaction, though, this seems to be the same one used to paralyze them, which I would assume would have the appropriate ritual symbol drawn on it. Ah well. Another ritual pocketed.
Upstairs and medical room (aka checkpoint before boss fight) and papers time, papers time, time to papers!
I actually don't remember too much about what they were talking about here, I'm pretty sure I was half-asleep when they were discussing lore. They looked over some more things with the black light (mention of a throne? like the Devil's?), they talked about the x-rays and the potential fact that Signore Leone had made a pact with the Devil when he was declared terminal with a heart tumor and BAM blood beast! Kinda sad that they didn't get to theorize more, but unfortunately this house is just full of horrors. I think I'll rewatch this section later.
Blood beast Signora Leone. MASSIVE. Rubens ran out into the hall, followed by Carina, because damn, short ranged weapons are a bad idea. (Head in hands, poor Balu....and with a paranormal Death spiral scar too...)
Believe it or not, these are screenshots from the same pause frame. Two very different emotions here.
At the very least, Arthur and Dante's sniper + echo dolor team attack came in clutch again (even if it was nerfed, rip Rakin) and it was especially cool this time around because Dante's turn was right after Arthur's for this combat. It really felt like they were trading off, chaining attacks. Neat!
More lore. Did not catch all of it. New page for the Grimoire with the symbol of the Mascaras...? Or something...? As you can see I pay careful attention to this series and all of the important plot points and investigation threads when they come up because I am an attentive viewer. Have a squished Dante.
Then there was the funeral for Signora Leone and the rest of the Leone family---once again a symbolic funeral, because there's rarely ever any remains left to bury when someone dies in this series, unfortunately. One thing I've noticed is that when a person dies in the middle of a mission, the burial always starts with their closest loved one(s) digging a grave with their bare hands. Sometimes someone else starts to help, sometimes someone else goes and finds a proper shovel, but it always starts with someone getting on their knees and clawing at the earth. It's raw. It's personal. You know the risks of your line of work and yet you still weren't prepared to do this; you could never be prepared to do this.
Arthur being there to support Carina in this horrible time, using everything he's learned from his own heartbreak and his own families to comfort her... He, too, lost his family in the span of a day. He, too, never got the chance to say goodbye. He, too, never could have imagined that something like this could happen. And Carina, just like he was, will also be saved by her new family---her team. So he gets on his knees beside her and helps her start to dig the grave. He tells her they'll carry the memories of their parted loved ones with them, and they'll continue fighting those bastard Occultists for the ones who are still here, and that the rest of the team will be here with her, always.
EVIL that Guaxi had Arthur pull out this photo. I get why, but EVIL.
A detail I love: in the middle of Arthur explaining all of this to her, calmly offering reassurances and comfort, at some point he hides his face and makes a furious expression---not the first time he's done this. I love the little peaks into how Arthur is really feeling about all of this bullshit. He's trying to stay level-headed and collected, presumably for the people on his team, but damn, it still hurts, and he's still pissed off. Just because he's showing less emotion than he used to doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.
Rotating Balu as well. He said he joined the Order looking for vengeance, like so many others, and everything that his vengeance and hate put him through wasn't worth it. so he left. "It’s better to live a life with a smile rather than with hate, even if it’s forced. You’ll see it’s not worth the pain. [...] I want to be the protagonist of my own story, I don’t want to just be the guy that hates others." Implying that letting yourself be moved by nothing but hate signifies a lack of agency over your own life LIKE YEAH. YEAH. THAT.
Clarissa continues to be stubborn. Everyone handles grief in different ways, and her taking a painful dig at Rubens is certainly a response---hurt people hurt people. Good on Rubens for simply leaving that conversation, it was going nowhere good.
Team sleepover on the (bloody) couches after making some food in the (bloody) kitchen in the (bloody) murderhouse! (If I had a nickel for every time etc etc.) Carina's conked out on the small couch mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, Arthur and Dante are sharing the big couch and you cannot tell me Arthur is not drooling on him, Balu is sprawled out in one of the arm chairs, and Rubens has fully curled-up-crammed his body in the other.
The arrival of the rest of the Order really felt like the arrival of dawn. Agatha my beloved little alarm clock. Love how Carina, Rubens, and Balu jump when she shouts into the room and both Arthur and Dante barely stir. Something tells me they're used to this. And Ivete! She's here :D Things are feeling a bit lighter. Carina got to tell her sister that she deserves a day to break down and be a mess. Supporting each other <333
And oh, yeah. I feel physically ill about this. In a good way. More stuff about the Marcados being connected to each other by their players. And more stuff to imply the players are themselves entities of the Other Side if I squint, too. Foaming at the mouth.
"Liz would reveal [to Carina] that hate solves nothing, and the love of your family is much stronger." SO SOMEONE ON THE DISCORD TOLD ME THAT THIS WOULD'VE BEEN LIZ'S LAST WORDS TO JOUI IF SHE HAD BEEN ABLE TO SAY THEM. UNFORTUNATELY GABI WAS CUT OFF BY CELLBIT AS LIZ HAD CHOKED ON HER OWN BLOOD AS SHE DIED. ANYWAY. THINKING ABOUT THIS IN RELATION TO HOW JOUI IS NOW. CONSUMED BY HATE. Hard to say if hearing this would have done anything to "save" Joui considering that it was seemingly outstanding circumstances---the deal with the Mascaras---that really started him on that downward spiral in opd, though he was struggling before the Mascaras showed up and gave their deadline. Still. It's. A lot. Incredible coming from Liz, who in life believed herself to be a fundamentally bad, hateful person.
Does anyone still think about Elizabeth Webber because I think about Elizabeth Webber I think about Elizabeth Webber a lot actually I think tha
Bonus:
Fofoca (they are talking shit about you)
#curlyopc#dont mind me im just rambling#fun fact i usually search through my old discord liveblogs when i write these posts so i can remind myself about plotpoints and things i-#-want to expand on in the journal post and this time around it was a lot more difficult-#-because i had to sift through all of the dante arthur gaming channel au nonsense hfdjks#anyway posting without proofread who gives a damn im already deep into episode 4 bc i have no self control
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Hi it’s the Great Comet anon, back with a music suggestion/possible theory for Rainhaze this time. I think it would be interesting if he somehow got caught up/involved with Defiance and they’ve subsequently forced him to do some Fucked Up Shit, maybe on the promise that they would help BarrenClan survive if he joined them. Maybe they even made him kill Dustfeather as a test of loyalty, if we wanna go the really awful route. If it turns out that he is with Defiance, then I think that “Just a Man” from EPIC: The Musical would fit him really well, which is a song about a man being forced to do something terrible in order to stay alive and go home to his family. I just think that morally gray Rainhaze would be really interesting lol
Here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/Pi-dmufCcng
[Music compilation post]
I've heard a lot of good things about EPIC, and I have always loved The Odyssey. I really ought to sit down and listen to it all sometime.
A song recommendation along with a theory is really cool! Thanks for sharing your idea.
"Will these actions haunt my days Every man I've slain? Is the price I pay endless pain?"
"I'm just a man who's trying to go home Even after all the years away from what I've known"
"When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster?"
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Yes, I do still take music requests. :] I like songs.
If this were to fit anyone, I'd say it would be Thrasher singing at Hush Puppy. A somewhat more self-aware version of him, anyways.
"Oh, I will ruin you It's a habit, I can't help it I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent"
"Abandon all your stupid dreams About the girl I could have been, my dear 'Cause in the night I know you burn with feelings I cannot return, my dear"
"I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything But if you're fine with that"
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I think it could, with a central focus on Deepdark and various members of Defiance around him and how they've been affected by his gravity.
"Sometimes the only road to take is the darkest Sometimes all you gotta say is "Daddy, make it go away" Sometimes the only way out is as a carcass"
"You built this ship (you did, you did) And you'll go down with it"
"Sometimes you gotta finish what you shouldn't have started Sometimes you gotta shoot before you see the target Sometimes Daddy's gonna say, "You're not worth the price to pay" Sometimes the tunnel only leads to darkness"
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I always love a song that fits purely on vibes. I can totally see this as a voice claim for Ranger and Hacksaw as well!
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ok i've finally started season 6 of better call saul (ahhhHHHHHH) so there's no better time than the present for me to vomit out all of my thoughts and feelings on this show thus far
first of all, i already want to start rewatching this show, like, right now, before i even finish it. unreal
my biggest complaint at this point is that i feel they lost the plot with Mike a bit in s5. his is a trickier needle to thread than jimmy's, i think - there's less daylight between parking attendant mike and stone cold fixer mike than there is between jimmy mcgill and saul goodman. but i'm just not convinced that this guy would agree to work for gus fring long-term. i guess we're supposed to believe that the guilt he feels, blaming himself for getting his son killed and depriving kaylee of a dad in the process, is SO overwhelming that he'll willingly do these terrible things so he can "pay her back" with this massive nest egg he plans to build up. but like...this is a conclusion i'm coming to by sitting here overthinking about it, not a conclusion that i feel is coming organically from the show. something just feels off. and i don't think it's intentional, i think they just missed the mark. that said, i liked his "bad choice road" speech to jimmy a lot at the end of the season.
speaking of kaylee, oh my god the scenes with her are goddamn annoying, and the scenes with her mom are even worse. i honestly feel bad for the woman, she's probably not even that bad of an actor but on a show overflowing with people at the absolute top of their game she really stands out as a weak link.
NACHITO 😭 i know he's not gonna make it out of here alive. poor guy. he just really loves his dad!!!!!!!!
Lalo is such a FANTASTIC addition tho. it's so hard to add a compelling character this late in the game but he's so charismatic he even makes me hate Hector Salamanca scenes like 80% less
I could have done with less Gus Fring on this show in general. he was incredible on BrBa, but he just...doesn't need to be fleshed out more? and he kind of isn't, he's just around a lot? idk, but i'll take this as an opportunity to share that one time i saw Giancarlo Esposito wearing a black cowboy hat and buying a package of raw chicken at Whole Foods in Austin TX like 9 years ago
ok now onto the lawyer-y side of things. in contrast to Mike's story, I think Jimmy/Saul's is pretty much pitch perfect. i believe his decisions, i believe his hesitations, i believe the push and pull.
(sidenote just remembered i also deeply hate the salamanca twins, always have always will, on BrBa they always felt like some lame reddit bro's idea of a "badass villain" they're just so flat and boring and i wish they weren't in this show either ugh)
anyway back to Jimmy - obviously, this show would not work whatsoever if Jimmy didn't work as a character, but it's still like, HOLY SHIT do they make him work. he's so tragic, you just KNOW that he could be better and you want him to be better and you know he wants to be better but: he can't. he won't. we know where this story is heading. and at his core he will always be this boy who really really really loved his big brother and never felt that love returned and never will and now i'm going to cry just thinking about the fucking scummy lawyer from breaking bad oh my goddddd
finally: kim. kim. KIM. having only watched 6x01 at this point - i feel like i've only barely scratched the surface on understanding who this character is. i don't know what to say, but i just rewatched this scene and it's maybe my favorite thing i've ever seen, with the exception of like 8 other kim scenes (most of which consist of her dressing down an idiot man, her boyfriend included)
JIMMY AND KIM FOREVER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and if you're wondering if i'm having Fic Thoughts, the answer is yes, yes i am
p.s. i've been listening to some of the insider podcast episodes and my GOD what a breath of fresh air to listen to peter gould and vince gilligan after being an unwilling prisoner of roberto aguirre sacasa for 7 goddamn years
#better call saul#honestly this is maybe like 15% of my thoughts and feelings but i'm going to end it there
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Like Starting Over
Claire Redfield x Male!Reader
Warnings: Angst, injury
Won 7th place from this post.
If Claire didn't worry about you being a BSAA soldier, the hospital warnings definitely did. Most of the time you got injured and ended up in the hospital wing they were not too terrible but often require stitches, but this time felt different.
Claire ran past soldiers and scientists to get to you as fast as she possibly could, fearing the worst. When she got there, most doctors were busy with other things but went up to the receptionist to get answers.
"Hi, my name's Claire Redfield. I'm Chris Redfield's sister, but is a (Y/N) (Y/L/N) here by any chance?" Claire asked, breathing heavily from the running and trying to fix her hair a little.
"Ah, Claire, good to see you. Um, yes, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is here but he's undergoing a surgery at the moment." The receptionist said, checking over all the current occupants in the wing.
"Surgery? For what? Why?" Claire asked, her thoughts jumbling into worry.
"Reports say he was in too close of proximity to an explosion that left him unconscious and missing a leg, they brought him here as soon as they could." The receptionist explained, seeing how panicked Claire was.
"Will he be okay? Is he gonna make it?" Claire asked, her thoughts still all mixed together.
"As far as I'm aware, he'll be fine. They stopped the bleeding while they were transporting him shortly after his accident and immediately brought him here." The receptionist told her, understanding that she was scared and stressed.
"Um, here's my phone number, could you please give me a call when he's allowed visitors?" Claire asked, quickly writing down her phone number and giving it to the receptionist.
"Of course, thank you for stopping in." The receptionist said, taking Claire's scrap of paper before Claire left.
She knew Chris was busy and had only one other friend that she knew wasn't occupied with something else, Leon Kennedy. Claire went to Leon about everything, especially when it came to you because having her brother tell her how a guys mind works is a lot weirder than having a guy friend.
Claire texted Leon that she was gonna stop by for a bit, she needed to get this information off her chest or it was gonna eat her alive. She waited for a response from Leon to start making her way to his apartment, once she saw his text, she left.
The drive wasn't long and neither was getting to his apartment but her mind still ran through everything possible about all the bad things that could happen to you, the worst thing coming up is you dying.
Claire knocked on the door and waited for Leon to open it, to which he did very shortly after the knock.
"Hey, how's it been?" Leon asked, stepping aside so Claire could enter the room.
"Something happened." Claire said, taking her jacket off and hanging it up.
"With work or something else?" Leon asked, closing the door and locking it.
"Something else. It's about (Y/N)..." Claire trailed off the thoughts she was thinking before starting to now get to her.
"Did he break up with you?" Leon asked, walking up to Claire.
"No..." Claire muttered, shaking her head.
"Did he hit you?" Leon asked, trying to figure out if he needed to make someone disappear.
"No..." Claire said and tried to continue before Leon kept going.
"I swear if he..." Leon was cut off.
"He didn't hurt me in any way! Christ, Leon! Just let me finish!" Claire yelled, causing Leon to fall silent a little.
"Right, I'm sorry." Leon said, nodding.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I just... (Y/N) is in the hospital right now getting surgery after his mission." Claire said, walking past Leon to sit on the couch.
"Do you know what happened?" Leon asked, sitting down next to Claire.
"He apparently got too close to an explosive of some kind and lost his leg, he's been unconscious since then." Claire explained, staring at the floor.
"Jesus... When did they say his surgery would be done?" Leon asked, hoping this wouldn't end anything between the couple.
"They didn't say, I just told the receptionist to give me a call when the doctors were allowing visitors." Claire said, shrugging a little.
Leon nodded, he began to grow worried too. You and Leon were both orphans together and basically became brothers, it was impossible to separate you two. You both were roughly the same age and you followed Leon's steps into becoming a cop and asking to be positioned in Raccoon City when the incident happened and you met Claire.
You and Claire got separated from Leon and worked together to get out alive, eventually helping Sherry Birkin and practically adopting her for the short amount of time. You stayed with Leon for a little bit until you decided to go look for Claire, ultimately leading you to joining the BSAA alongside Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine.
You were roommates with Leon for a short time until you moved in with Claire, buying your guys' own house and going with the flow of things. Claire's job was not as demanding as yours but you still worried about her safety whenever she was away.
After roughly two years of living together, you both decided to try and be a normal couple and you were planning on marrying her after this current mission, the ring you were gonna propose to her with was hidden in your stuff. You were also in a small process of cleaning out one of the rooms you two weren't using to create a nursery for a future baby.
Leon knew all about this too, you had told him, shown him the ring you bought, you had taken pictures and screenshots of things you were looking at for some baby stuff. Leon had asked you that should you and Claire have a baby what he wanted, you said that you didn't care because you would love having a daughter or son or maybe both at some point.
"I just..." Claire began again, pulling Leon from his thoughts. Her voice is now shaky and her body is shaking. "I don't know what to do. I'm scared."
Leon pulled Claire into a hug, letting her cry into his chest. They sat like this for what felt like a long time until Claire's phone rang, Claire immediately jumped up and answered it, wiping her eyes and clearing her throat.
"Hello?" Claire answered, gently placing her phone next to her ear.
"Hi, is this Claire Redfield?" A lady asked, it wasn't the receptionist from before so she assumed the two must've switched shifts.
"Yes, I'm Claire. Is (Y/N) okay?" Claire asked, her hands shaking a little.
"Yes, he's doing good. He's been out of surgery for about an hour and the doctors have made sure he's stable and healthy. He was awake when the doctors left but he could be sleeping right now but you can now visit him." The lady said, she sounded happy.
"Thank you, thank you so much. I'll be up in a bit." Claire said, hanging up.
"So, is he okay?" Leon asked, Claire now realized that he jump up almost as fast as she did.
"He's okay." Claire said, tears getting in her eyes but they were happy this time.
Claire hugged Leon again, smiling and crying a little. Leon pulled away and rested his hands on her shoulders. "Go ahead and see him, I'll probably visit tomorrow." Leon said, ruffling Claire's hair a little.
Claire giggled a little before hurrily putting on her coat and leaving, yelling a quick "Bye" before shutting the door. Leon chuckled a little and shook his head.
Claire did her best to not go over any speed limits but wanted to get to you as fast as she could, she almost didn't even turn her car off when she got back to the base. She quickly ran back down to the wing, asked the receptionist what room you were in, and set off to find it.
When Claire got to your room, she found you, Chris, and Piers having a conversation. She didn't know what but honestly didn't care, her main care went towards you being awake and responsive. She knocked on the door, causing the three boys to look at her and smile. Claire watched your eyes light up upon seeing her, making her heart melt a little.
Chris glanced at Piers before they both nodded and left, saying their goodbyes to the two of you. Claire made her way to one of the chairs relatively close to you, before she sat down, she hugged you. She sat down after breaking the hug but ran her fingers through your hair, making you sigh and close your eyes.
"How do you feel?" Claire asked, moving some of your hair from your eyes.
"Better now that you're here." You replied, smiling at her.
She chuckled a little before she moved her hand to hold yours. "Truth?" She asked, wanting to know if you were lying.
"Mostly, just tired is all." You said, shrugging a little.
"Really? Nothing else? No pain?" Claire asked, looking at you with a little confusion.
"No, why? Do you want me to be in pain?" You asked, jokingly looking at her in shock.
"No, it's just... Every time I've visited you when you had to come here, you were never in that much pain. Now here you are, missing a leg and you're still chatting and being the best you that you can be." Claire said, shrugging a little.
"I'm just that awesome." You joked, smirking at her. She scoffed and rolled her eyes before gently patting your shoulder. "Wanna see it?" You asked, almost forgetting why you're here.
"What? Your leg?" Claire asked, glancing down towards the end of your bed.
"Yeah, it's honestly a lot better than I thought it was gonna be." You said, sitting up a little and shifting before moving the blankets to show Claire what was left of your leg.
Your right leg was missing from the knee down but you had bandages completely wrapped around your thigh, some bandages having very faint red spots on them.
"That is a lot better than I thought." Claire said, staring at stub leg.
"They said that most of the damage was my foot and that there was almost no skin on it and it lead up to around my knee but was just scratched up on my thigh, they had to cut my foot off from the knee down so no more damages or infections could latch onto me before I even got here." You explained, remembering clearly what Chris and Piers had just told you.
"This is best case scenario, right?" Claire asked, looking back at you.
"Yeah, the explosive was on a trip wire and I didn't see it, had I been a little more to my right, I probably wouldn't have come back." You said, knowing that the trap was practically unavoidable.
"Can you move your leg still?" Claire asked, seeing that you hadn't moved it yet.
"Yes, but my doctors recommend that I don't until they think it's healed up enough too. They're also getting me a prosthetic so I'll be able to walk around again." You explained, slightly tapping your finger on your thigh.
Claire smiled and nodded, helping you get tucked back into the blankets. She stayed with you the whole day and you had a few more visitors, Chris and Piers came back, Jill stopped by to chat for a bit, and a few doctors came in to check on you. Eventually, you two fell asleep and hoped for the best tomorrow morning.
#resident evil#male reader#claire redfield#leon kennedy#sherry birkin#jill valentine#chris redfield#piers nivans
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Oh noo poor lady D:
Ayy a donor!
Huh lol?
Ope xD-
OH GOSH OPE O.O Didn't realize he thought he WAS xd xD
Hmm that is a little conflicting xD
Like if he can donate lol
Oop-
IT BETTER BE ABOUT-
YES. AS DESERVED 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️!!
Sorry I just love him and I'm glad he has people who love him and therefore miss him xdd
OOPE he's not supposed to know o.o
Hmm I mean in his/normality's defense it was probably on the news lol
That's what I was thinking for a second there xD
Anyway 😭😭😭 aww honeyy :'((
About carrying sadness
That episode looks like it's gonna be wild xD
Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .
REVIEW
I absolutely loved this episode!!! I also hated it withy entire being, once again xdd 😭. Like last week lol. ALTHOUGH AT LEAST LAST WEEK I GOT ASHER ALIVE 😭😭💔-
Anyway xD
Rude of them to alienate me, their biggest fan, like this lol
XDD I'm joking lol but seriously ouch xdd xD
Now, quick thing. Had this earlier and then decided to leave it for the review (put it in my finishing up liveblogging after the show, at the beginning of that last scene).
Also just, serious (as if this all isn't) moment here, I wish I could do my review tonight but it's not gonna happen. Like it shouldn't xd. I wish I could do it with my emotions fresh but my plan from the beginning was to get back into some fluffy stuff after this and I need it. I really miss Asher terribly and it hurts so badly <3. But it's also kind of bringing my own grief into my head and I can't be sitting in that right now. It's a really beautiful episode and despite how many times it made me sob I really did enjoy it xd, and I'm not msd or anything, but it's still true. Obviously it isn't as raw as all this, even though that's feeding into my tears xd, but the kind of more removed and adult part of me is telling me "yeah, you're genuinely feeling this ache extra" and I need to take care of myself. Again, absolutely love the episode, it's just how it is <3.
I'm feeling a little lighter about it now and feeling closer to my original thoughts and intentions but yeah <3.
I promise I'm doing okay like genuinely, past all the show stuff. It may absolutely break my heart but when it comes down to it it's just a show. In life, I am alright <3
Nonetheless my therapist will be hearing about this 😭😭 xD.
Genuinely lol I might mention it I see her tomorrow xD.
Also, I'm going to go post that paragraph separate as well :). See you sometime in the future!
Anyways :))
Okay now it's the day of the next next episode (I was busy for the one after this one) so I'm just gonna say this episode was HEARTBREAKING but so good 😭.
I'm gonna try and come back and edit this later (yes I know I ever do but it comforts me lol)! But yeah, amazing episode, those flashbacks destroyed me.
Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! Despite how much it broke me heart lol. But everyone did really well and I'm glad we got to really sit in the grief <3. It hurt xd, but Asher deserves to have people grieving him, and narratively deserves the time taken for it. I'm glad everything turned out as okay as possible with the MCE too <3. Everyone did great :'). And I'm so glad Shaun and Charlie had a good moment!! There's some understanding there now :')).
So yeah! It was an amazing episode, and it absolutely killed me. I'm excited for the next one! This has been my review for. . .
The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 6: M. C. E.
It was so good! I'm a little nervous for the next episode, and sad still, but I'm so excited! I'll be back next week with my review of. . .
The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 7: Faith
See you then!
#the good doctor#tgd#oasis's tgd chatter#this episode deserves more of a review but I've been suuuper busy and have like an hour to watch last week'z episode so I can watch tonight#lol
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Terrible Trilogy
Part 10
wordcount: 7 347
"Hurry the hell up!" Billy ordered as Stu got out to go into a gas station for a restroom break and snacks. You just got done pumping gas and now you were just sitting in the parking lot.
Stu flipped him off as he left, leaving you and Billy alone in the car.
He shifted in his seat to look at you as you sat behind the wheel. Both of them finally agreed after you convinced them daylight traffic near LA was not the right time for either of them to drive and draw attention.
"So, we're just going to Hollywood to...What? Look for clues? Is that what we're doing with our lives now?" He muttered.
"Don't let Shaggy hear you say that, but yes. Not unless you want to hear 'zoinks' for the next hour."
"I'd have to kill him."
You chuckled at that before he turned in his seat to look at you.
"...Okay, since I was forced to share my personal life bullshit; what is your deal with Gale Weathers? Other than her portraying you as a complete slut for me and Stu."
You gave him a mocking smile. "Aw, thanks for that reminder."
"Gale wrote it, not me." He rolled his lips. You knew the memory of the closet was in both your minds. You expected him to tease or mock you but he said nothing for once in his life. He continued with a light shrug. "You've mentioned little things here and there and I want to know what's the deal with all that."
"Well, this came out of nowhere."
"I want to talk about it alone. So, while your trusty guard dog is gone; Talk."
You sighed but figured now was as good a time as any. Stu was relatively caught up but Billy was clueless on your life after Woodsboro. If this is what it takes to get along for now then so be it.
"Well... After you left the theater, Gale lived. I mean, obviously. I saved our asses from being killed by Mickey when he attacked us. You know the movie rule; one last scare….Did that count for anything in her Channel pocketbook? Nope. Still always the opportunist that doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone but her money and name."
Billy scrunched his brows. "Mickey was dead-"
You cut him off. "He wasn't. I had to shoot him a couple times till he stopped moving. Even with wounds that should have killed him; he still got up and was ready to rip anyones head off in some blind rage over Hallie's death." You had a distant look in your eye.
It was silent a moment before Billy scoffed. "You?...You're telling me you shot that big ass poser?...More than once? I don't believe it."
You gave him a dirty look. "I shot at you."
"Exactly, shot at me and missed. You didn't shoot to kill."
"Who says I didn't? So, I missed my target? Big whoop."
Billy huffed at that with an annoyed glare as you glared back at him. "Yes, Billy; I shot Mickey Altieri till he was good and dead. I'd tell you to ask Cotton or Gale but both aren't possible. Read the detailed police report if you have to; I'm sure you could find it online...Now, can I finish my story or what?"
He stared at you, taken aback at your serious tone. "...Yeah okay, whatever. Go on."
"Anyways, she came to me in the hospital for a deal after she saw you two and you both confirmed it to your Mom... The deal was; she puts me in a new light as the innocent victim and retracts the Woodsboro Massacre story by having me say you both were alive while helping her find you."
"...Or?" He raised his brows impatiently for you to continue.
"Or she will make herself my problem. Forever...Guess which one my stupid ass picked? Worse, I sued her and pissed her off even more." You chuckled. "I mean, like it would have mattered. She would've painted me as involved no matter what. You can't trust media types."
You saw the suspicious look he gave you.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm not involved. I would have killed you a long time ago if I was. "
He stared you down in the passenger seat. "I don't know...We killed your best friends. We killed your boyfriend. We tried to kill you. We had some choice words to say to each other on the phone."
"Listen...Don't."
He gave you an odd look as you rolled your lips. "You're right; we're not friends. Bringing up that phone call or what happened at Woodsboro is just asking for a fight that I doubt Stu could even break up. Bringing up the murder of my friends and James is more surface level than the shit we said to each other." You glanced over at him. "So, let's not rehash it...Please."
He stared a moment before giving you a neutral expression. "I'm not rehashing anything. Just pointing out you'd have plenty of reasons to kill us off."
You gave a scoffing chuckle you couldn't hold in. "God, Loomis. I might be the killer but you want to act shocked that I aimed at you and killed Mickey...Are you trying to convince me or yourself that I'm still that pliable good girl you can manipulate?"
He leaned forward into your comfort zone, a look in his eyes as you sat there with an annoyed glare. You experienced him purposely trying to get in your head too many times to be fazed completely. You just got a dose of it last night when he was smoking outside.
You suppressed an eye roll as he tilted his head to look at you, mere inches from you. "...You don't think you can be manipulated? Really?" He purred, a slight familiar smirk on his face.
You glared daggers at the audacity he still had. "People can be manipulated when they have hope. I don't. You're wasting both our times here." You firmly gave.
He eyed you, losing the smirk as you elaborated. "I don't have hope that my life will be okay after this or that you and Stu will be better people or that I'll ever have a friend besides the other Woodsboro survivors that are friends without a motive."
"...You still have fear. Fear is the best manipulation you can use against someone. " He was still in your space, his eyes darting down from your eyes as his voice was matter of fact.
Your voice was heavy. "Of course I have fear. I live my life everyday in fear. Everytime I set my alarm system or hear a weird noise at night or have a night terror; I'm scared to death. But...I accept it now. I've already thought of the worst possible scenarios in my head over and over again and...The hopes just...Gone."
His gaze went from predatory to one of understanding. He stared at you, his dark eyes slowly roaming over your face before staring into your eyes. You both stared a moment, inches from each other before he sat back in his seat.
"Word of advice; Don't lose your survival instincts because of something as stupid as hope.... Hope is just imaginary bullshit anyways."
" My survival instincts have never been better. Surviving is all I know how to do now."
You both held the stare. You were fine letting him know just how much you changed these last few years and how willing you were to survive.
He folded his arms and leaned back in his seat. "Back to Gale. Why is she so interested in you? She can't be that hellbent on finding us with no proof other than her memory."
"Oh but she is...She's been on my case since Woodsboro. Blocking her shooting you plus rumors from students was enough for her to frame me as an accomplice. My lawsuit almost went out the window because the beginning of Stab said, and I quote, 'Based on a true story. Some things have been changed for viewers' entertainment' but when the judge saw how my character was smeared and a real life assault happened; she couldn't get away with that."
"Assault?" He muttered with a raised brow.
You shifted in your seat at the memory. "Yeah. I told you; surviving is the one thing I know how to do...I hate talking about it but I had a mega fan of Stab swear up and down I was a part of the killings because how could the movies be wrong? He wasn't pretending to be a masked killer but...He uh-" You swallowed and put a hand on your chin for a moment, looking away from Billy to think back. "He attacked me outside my parents house late at night during my court case while I was taking out the trash. He blacked my eye and slammed my head against a nearby tree. It all happened so...So fast...He uh...He threw some liquid on me that smelled like fuel. I think he was going to try to set me on fire. Thank god it wasn't acid, I guess."
Billy stared at you intently. His features fell as he listened.
"I got away, got into my house and he followed me into the kitchen." He didn't answer as you continued, a heaviness in your voice you couldn't hide. "Then I whipped around and stabbed him in the neck with a kitchen knife...My family came back home with me in a fetal position on the ground next to his body. I didn't even call the police yet. Christ, they were only gone for 10 minutes. After that, I vowed to move as far away from people as I could with as much security and as many locks as money could buy me. I thought I was protecting myself and the people I care about...That wasn't even enough."
You shrugged, trying to make light of an awful situation. "So, I had to kill two people within the last few years. I didn't want to but...Dog eat dog world. That's what you and Stu claim."
You rubbed at your nose and rolled your lips to hide any traumatic emotional response dying to get out. "I stopped seeing Henry, my therapist, because he kept pushing me to get out into the world and I don't want to. He only knows what I tell him. He had no idea what I've actually went through or that you two were very real and very much still alive...It felt pointless going to see someone that either wanted me on pills for hallucinations I know for a fact are real but can't tell him how I know or to push me to be normal. I want to be. I wanted nothing more than a simple life far away from everything and everyone just to live out my days, boring and safe...Didn't happen."
Billy shifted in his seat, opening his mouth to say something before closing it. He pushed his tongue inside his cheek. You could tell he wanted to say something but wasn't allowing himself.
He swallowed before mumbling low in his throat. "...So...Well, what I'm hearing is that Gale's a suspect." He gave. That definitely wasn't everything he wanted to say but you expected as much.
You responded with a curt nod. "I guess so. We're not acting until we have definitive proof."
"Giving orders now?"
"No, just using common sense. We don't need any useless kills that could lead police back to us."
His eyes widened as he slowly looked over at you. "No shit but...You're telling me you're willing to kill again?"
"I don't want to but for my survival; I will. I already told you, I did it twice. And pardon me but I gave you and Stu a run for your money as well."
You expected him to glare at you or to pull at a knife and threaten you for being so cocky. Instead he just scoffed and looked at the window beside him.
"You were a pain in the ass, I'll give you that."
You both sat in silence as you saw Stu come back and sling a bunch of bags in the back seat.
Billy was good at hiding his emotions and changing subjects. He did it instantly like a switch while you silently felt dread at the memories that just got brought up again.
Billy huffed. "Jesus, Stu; what the hell is all that?"
Stu showed what he got while he was already chewing on gum that you could smell clear from where you sat. Cinnamon. That scent always reminded you of Woodsboro High, walking the halls and standing near the lockers while Stu smacked his gum and goofed off with Randy or picked on Tatum. The scent of Tatum's sweet perfume. Sidney's bag always smelled like the birchwood candles she burned at home. Randy smelling like way too much adidas cologne to the point it gave you a headache and Billy smelling like that hair gel he used that gave him that signature swept back look that always fell forward and separated; making his hair like oily when it was just stiff.l with gel. The noise of the hallway. The sound of sneakers squeaking on the floor and lockers slamming shut. Seeing Sidney under Billy's arm and thinking they were a normal healthy couple...Seeing Stu kissing Tatum's neck as she playfully shooed him away...The guilt you felt at wishing you had what Tatum and Sidney had while in denial and telling yourself you never thought of them like that. That it was the relationship you wanted, not the guys. Opting to go out with James to distract from it; thinking you wanted a relationship like your friends had...If only you knew-
"Hey, Earth to YN."
You blinked at Billy's voice before jumping when Stu lightly tapped your forehead with a twizzler from the backseat.
"Jeez, easy!" Stu joked as he offered it to you. "It's a twizzler. Not a knife, babe."
You breathed out a sigh and took it. Billy looked back and offered his hand out. Stu scoffed. "You think you're getting my snacks, dude? Get the hell outta here."
"I think you can spare something from your three bags, pig."
"You paying?"
You gave him a side glare. "Stu, spare a chip."
"Fine. I guess I should help the homeless here and there."
Billy jerked his head and glared at Stu in the backseat before he had a small bag handed to him. Billy huffed and threw it back. "Do not give me fucking crappy pretzels when you have doritos back there. Hand them over." He did a grabbing motion with his hand behind the seat.
"Sure thing...Ooh!" Stu made a moaning noise before tossing the bag up until it hit the ceiling and fell onto the console. "Sorry there, man. Slipped."
"Kind of like my hand slipping upside your head." Billy grabbed the bag and gave Stu a look. "If I open this and there's no whole pieces; I'm kicking your ass."
You offered your hand out as well and Stu jokingly went to give you a bag and jerked it away. You turned back and gave him an annoyed look. "Stu, I will help Billy kick your ass."
"Cool." Billy commented.
"As if you could."
"The bag of bugles or lays, Stu...Please."
Stu playfully raised his brows. "Since you asked so nicely, come back and get them."
"Stu, it is noon. I'm already tired of driving. I'm on edge...I want it right now!"
"Ooh, so you want it right here and right now, huh?"
Billy chuckled as he popped a chip in his mouth while watching the free show.
"Stu!"
"I mean, are we talking about the snacks or-" You punched Stu in the leg and yanked a bag from the seat. You tsked to yourself when you saw it was the pretzel bag.
You sighed in defeat before you had a bag of your favorites in your lap. You glanced over to see Stu leaning forward and smirking at you. "Relax, you think I'm that much of a jerk? I'm just teasing. I'm just totally stoked to get to Hollywood!...And you hit me for it."
"Not sorry." You muttered with a small smile. "Thanks though."
"Okay, can we get this show on the road? So far our only suspects other than each other is Gale. And the sooner I plunge my knife into whoever is doing this crap; the better." Billy gave.
"Gale Weathers? Where did that come from?" Stu asked.
"I'll tell you on the way."
————————————————————
You parked the car as far as security would let you. The moment they saw your ID and knew who you were, they let you through.
"...I've been dreading this the whole ride." You mumbled.
"Why are you so damn glum? At least you got to sue. I had to deal with that awful wig they gave David Shwimmer in silence."
You gave him a deadpan expression. "Really, Billy? The wig. The only thing you find wrong about this is your hair?"
Stu leaned forward between you both. "Man, both of you are being drags. It's Hollywood, baby! We are on the set of a movie all about us. Live it up!"
"Yeah, great. I'll just go high five all the cast!...We're in hiding, you dolt."
Stu suggestively raised his brows at you and you inwardly cringed. Praying he wasn't actually going to do what you thought he originally wanted to do.
You changed the subject. "Yeah well, I say you both hang back while I talk to people around here. Hopefully Randy will be around here somewhere."
Stu smirked. "Yeah, good luck. Dorklord is probably geeking out on set somewhere. Jizzing in his khakis over a movie."
"Or getting tongue tied while the hot actresses use him as a coat rack." Billy added with his own haughty smirk.
You glared at them both. "Okay, I'm getting really tired of the constant insults! If you too want to insult each other, be my guest but leave my friends and me out of it."
"What? You're one friend, Meek Geek? Kind of hard to do." Billy gave with a chuckle.
You smacked your steering wheel. "Stop!" Both their faces dropped at how angry you were getting. "You don't even know who he is! Or Dewey! Or me! Okay, Randy is a talented movie buff getting his footing in the film industry. Being a geek got him pretty far; where did being the asshole bad boy get you?"
You got out of the car as Billy opened his mouth to argue and you slammed the car door shut. It was broad daylight and you motioned them out. Between your weapons and broad daylight just a corner away from a populated area; the only thing either could do was run their mouths.
Stu got out of the car first and half cringed half smiled at you as he jogged up to you. "Jeez girl, nice one but...Don't have a fit over Ray-"
You jerked your head to give him a simmering stare behind your sunglasses. "I'm not having a fit; I just don't like people being jerks for no reason."
Billy slammed your door and gave you a mocking look. "Yeah? Well that's just how life works. I can guarantee you he's the same geek as in High School and you're just sore he's your only friend."
Stu smirked. "Probably balding by now too. I don't know; let's bet. Skinny like in Highschool or fat?"
Billy gave a devious smirk back and you rolled your eyes. "God, the only thing you both bond over is juvenile bullying. Shocker." You started walking as you locked your car with your remote. "Besides, he's definitely not balding or the same guy in High School. He grew up...A lot."
Billy scoffed. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're being dickheads for no reason. He's my best friend-"
"Yeah, in hopes you'll give it up." Billy mumbled.
"He had that opportunity and didn't take it. He's not like you two horny cretins." You shrugged, adjusting your sunglasses as you all walked near the buildings away from the very few people that walked by in their own worlds.
Stu stopped in his tracks. "Wait...HUH?"
You sighed heavily, stopping and rolling your neck to untense your muscles. "We sort of dated for a hot minute."
Both of them stopped dead in their tracks. You had that uneasy feeling, hoping that Stu didn't get any ideas out of jealousy. You were prepared to hear yelling or insults but you whipped your head around when you heard a slow build up of laughter.
Stu released a high pitched laugh and pointed at you while Billy hushed him and leaned against the building as his shoulders violently shook from suppressed laughter.
"WHAT?! What is so funny, you freaking imps?" You snapped.
"You?...Ha! You and MEEK?!" Stu choked out with wide eyes and a shit eating grin.
"What was it? A dare? Pity?" Billy chuckled with a smug grin of his own.
"No, actually! It was right after he got out of his coma! We casually dated a few times and then decided we weren't liking each other for the right reasons." You huffed, grinding your boot heel into the pavement as they both continued laughing in disbelief.
"Came to your senses, huh?" Stu quipped.
"No, he called it off. Not me."
Both their laughs dwindled and their faces fell at the serious tone and glare you gave them. You folded your arms as they both stared.
"...Are you serious?" Stu asked, losing his smirk.
"Dead serious. We dated and had one make out session before we knew it wasn't right. The spark just wasn't there."
Stu soon looked offended. "What the fuck? No way. That little dork would be grateful! I don't buy it. Look at you!" He gestured to the new get up you had on. You were self conscious of the shiny red leather pants and black lace camisole but you figured you better dress in the best clothes you brought for Hollywood.
"Me neither. Randy Meeks would have been your love slave if you so much as flirted with him, let alone gave him tongue!" Billy added. "Honestly, I don't believe you even kissed him. You're bullshitting us right now, aren't you?"
" I'm not. Ray is fucking catch now! He has dates every other week with beautiful women. He was a popular geek at Woodsboro; you think he didn't get girls at college? He did. He still does. Highschool status is nothing once you graduate. "
Stu shook his head. "Nu uh. I don't believe it, Sweetcheeks! I just don't"
"Believe it, Stu. Women aren't attracted to the same thing you guys are. That bad boy popular rich jerk bullshit that got you both girls in High school gets OLD as an adult."
Billy looked almost disgusted at you. "Well, if you're so certain; what could possibly make him call it off with someone like you then? No matter how frumpy you look living in the woods-"
"So sweet." You mocked with a sarcastic smile.
"-You're still out of his league. What could possibly make him dump you?" Billy gave.
You rolled your eyes behind your shades. "What else other than that god forsaken town and what you two did there?"
"Long story short; we both trauma bonded at Windsor. We were stressed over a horrible situation, we were scared for our lives and we both brought back memories to each other. Almost losing him made me determined to give it a try. I was just a Sidney replacement and our kiss made him realize that. I wasn't as into it as I thought I would be either because he was just…A...Derek replacement." You faltered, saving yourself from mentioning two names you'd rather die than mention out loud. You shook your head. "Point is; We both lost important people in our lives and tried replacing them with each other. Trust me, we work better as friends and there's no attraction no matter how much we goof off and fake flirting with each other for laughs."
Stu scrunched his face in outrage. "You were just hyping him up!"
"Hey, can't argue with facts. Boy has women all the time. He's got a date this weekend with a tall, brunette that's trying to get into modeling." You shrugged. They gave you disbelieving looks in return.
You lowered your shades to give them both a serious stare. Lowering your voice to a growl to avoid anyone hearing. "Remember the crazed knife wielding lunatic I was when I thought he was dead? Well now, I'm closer to him AND have a gun. If either of you get jealous and try the same shit you did with my ex...I will either shoot you or have you both arrested, even if I get booked too."
Billy looked at you in interest. "You wouldn't."
"I would. Because without them two; I have practically nothing. I will gladly go to prison for obstruction and other charges if the ones responsible do too." You gave them each a look before putting your shades back in place. "That clear?"
Stu looked skeptical but nodded. "Crystal...Besides, I'm not threatened. I mean...It's me. No one compares to me, huh babe?" He winked at you.
"Your humbleness is amazing as always, Stuart." You sarcastically gave before looking over at Billy. He threw his hands up.
"Why are you looking at me? I could give a shit less!"
"Just letting you both know. That's all." You drew out as you started walking and they followed. "I'm going to try and talk us into the studio to get a better picture of everything and find Randy. If they don't let you both in; then maybe look around? We'll meet back at my car-"
You trailed off as you rounded the corner to see how busy it was and the giant sliding door with Ghostface on the side. A pit fell in your stomach at the imagery as this idea felt more and more hopeless by the second.
"Woah." Stu mouthed in awe.
Billy must have felt a mutual feeling as he subtly hid behind you near the building's corner. "This is a fucking horrible idea! Someone is going to see us!"
Stu rolled his eyes. "Would you relax? No one is going to recognize us on a movie set."
"Fuck off! One look and we're done!"
You turned to him, leaning close to whisper. "Billy I feel the same way but...What choice do we have? Come on, you're like, the best under pressure."
He glanced at you in surprise at that. "...Yeah?...Yeah but pressure is talking my way out of a situation. Not walking on set with people who probably have seen articles of my face everywhere to play these roles."
Stu blew air between his lips. "Please, It's easy. Watch."
"Wait-" You tried stopping him as he walked. You and Billy watched him casually walk. He waved at random people that waved back with a smile.
"I can't tell if he is stupid or crazy." You muttered in awe at how little he feared danger.
"Both." Billy mumbled back as you both started following him.
You subconsciously felt eyes on you whether they were or not and tried calming your breathing. 'Don't have a panic attack, don't freak out, don't-' You recited in your head as you walked up to the building. Security was everywhere.
You saw the door opening and a bunch of people moving. Stu grabbed your hand. "Now's our chance, come on-"
He dragged you as you tried to keep up as you all three slipped past security through the crowd of people.
"Shit...That worked...Now what?" You mumbled.
Billy muttered in your ear. "Stu and I are hanging back while you find Randy."
"Good idea. He'll instantly recognize you both."
You both were stopped by someone with a headset and board in their hand.
"Woah there. No one gets in without a pass. No media!"
Stu huffed. "I'm here for an audition!"
The guy gave him an unamused look. "Yeah? You and every other tall Cali boy thinking they can nail the part."
You stepped forward. "Sir, I uh...I have a friend working here actually."
"Oooh. Wow. Never heard that one before. Get out-" He went to shove you and Stu away to the door as Billy hung back a bit. Giving everyone paranoid glances.
"Okay, fine." You sighed as you dug out your ID and handed it over. The young man's eyes widened as he saw your name and face.
"Oh...YN?"
"Yep." You sheepishly grinned.
"Huh...I can't see the Producer allowing you in but the Director is all about bringing in Woodsboro locals to his movie. Whatever. That's above my pay grade. With the recent Cotton murder they're changing rules here left and right. Ugh!" He stepped aside to let you go but stopped Billy. "Uh, I don't think so."
Billy scoffed. "I'm with them."
"I heard he's here to audition and she's YN. I don't remember you stating your business….Wait a minute...You know who you look like?"
Your stomach dropped as you all looked back and Billy's face dropped. You all were silent, your mind was frantically thinking of what to do. Do you all run? Do you try to take out a guy working behind the scenes of the movie? Do you lie your ass off? You didn't breathe as the security guard eyed Billy up and down.
"A younger Johnny Depp! You know before he started growing his hair out and bleaching it for his new role in Blow coming out. You look just like him!"
Billy gave a relieved smile as you all let out a breath. "Y-yeah. Yeah, I get that a lot."
Billy went to walk past and the man put a hand up. "Hold on there. We get look alikes all the time; doesn't mean they're allowed in. Besides, we don't have any Johnny Depp's needed here."
"Uh, he got a job here too! Yeah, my friend Randy Meeks put in a good word for him."
"Oh, Mr. Meeks. I just let him in a few hours ago...So, what is this guy? A tech geek?...He looks more like one of those actors for that convict movie on Studio 24 about a bunch of losers getting arrested for a failed robbery or something like that...I don't know bud, I think it's the trench coat and hair. So 3 years ago."
Billy's face fell as you and Stu grinned at each other.
Stu proudly exclaimed. "He sure is! Best damn actor to play a loser. Honestly, you would think he was one; he is that good!"
Billy gave Stu a glare that promised death when the guy wasn't looking.
You tried to be serious even though you wanted to laugh your ass off. "Yep! Yep he is definitely trying to get into acting. He's auditioning for the role of...Randy."
"Oh, you didn't hear? They killed that character in the last movie. The old director thought it was more climatic that way...And a leaked script doesn't help. Heard it got a lot of flack for the decision. Mr. Meeks was a fan favorite. But they have Ricky as a homage. "
You gave a fake sad smile. "Aw, that's too bad. Ray definitely has the sense of humor to be popular among fans of Stab. But we're heading to a few studios after this. I just had to stop in to see the real Randy, talk to the director and let uh...Dennis here audition. So, can Vincent tag along?"
The guy grimaced. "I don't know. No one gets in or out without a pass. The security is tight and I'm just a minor part of the production department. "
"Oh, not even the original Stab survivor?" You pouted. "Please. It's been hard on Randy coming back to all of this and he really needed the support. My acting friends here have been dying to get in too and I'd hate to be the one to turn them away."
"....Alright, but put these on and stay out of everyone's way." He gave you each a pass from his bag and shuffled off as he checked some things off his list.
Billy waited till he left before turning to you both. "...Both of you go fuck yourselves."
"Oh, I plan to. Maybe YN will join me-"
You chuckled and shoved him away. "Nope for the hundredth time...Now, both of you ease back and let me walk. If anyone sees us…" You trailed off as your eyes landed on someone. You shoved your shades on top of your head as a smile graced your lips. You raced towards him, leaving those two behind.
"...YN?"
He put on a few pounds, had his hair slicked back and a name tag on but still had the same lovable goofy grin when he saw you. You ran up and instantly hugged him.
"Dewey!" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he gave a surprised chuckle.
"YN, what are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?"
You both gave a sheepish chuckle. "Deja vu." You gave. "Seriously though, what the hell are you doing here?"
"I work on the movie. They wanted someone from Woodsboro to help the story." His face dropped as he turned you around. You looked behind his shoulder to see both Stu and Billy were gone. Hiding or snooping somewhere. Dewey gave you a worried look. "YN, I didn't want you coming here. Cotton Weary-"
"I know. I came here because Randy invited me."
"Why would he do that?!"
You put a hand on Dewey's shoulder. "Hey, I came on my own accord, Dewey. Besides...I uh...I can't hide forever. If I'm not safe in your company then where else am I?" You smiled. It faded at the deep frown Dewey gave you.
"YN…"
You both were interrupted when you heard a voice behind you.
"...YN?"
You turned to see a young guy with glasses and a grin. "Oh my God, it's actually you! No one has seen you, or uh...So, I've heard." He looked worried for a moment. "You're not here to file a lawsuit, are you? Please for the love of Christ tell me you're not. I have detectives breathing down my neck and Milton thinking of shutting down production-"
"Oh, no. I'm not. Not this time." You laughed before extending your hand. "You know who I am but uh, who are you?"
He smiled and shook your hand. "Roman Bridger. Director."
Dewey added. "Roman uh...Do you think it's safe for YN to be here?"
"No safer than the rest of us. I think the detectives are just freaking out over what? An ex-con turned talk show host? It was a one time incident!" Roman's attention was drawn to somewhere else. "Oh excuse me. Auditions. Don't let Milton see you, he's still upset over the paperwork his assistant had to file from your lawsuit in 99."
You looked at Dewey who still seemed worried.You smiled at him. "Dewey, it's alright. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Really. Just...On edge."
You nodded even though you didn't believe it. Someone went to get Dewey as he said goodbye to you and you wandered away. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you gasped as Billy dragged you into a corner.
"God, Billy-"
"Shut up for a second. We have a major problem."
"What?"
"I'm gonna kill him. Stu went off and now I can't find him. I swear to fucking God if he's not the one behind this-"
You put up a hand. "Okay, okay. We'll find him, just take it easy."
You and him walked as he whispered in your ear. "I can't wait to get out of here. There's too many people that might see my face, including Dewey. Randy's bad enough. Why didn't you tell me he was here?!"
"I didn't know! It shocked me too, honest! I was just talking to him and the director. "
"Goody for you. I was too busy looking for Stu's dumb ass."
You both jumped as someone yelled your name.
"God, now who knows me?" You hissed as you and Billy turned around with wide eyes to see an older man marching towards you both.
You didn't recognize him but he recognized you. He had an intimidating vibe about him that made you uneasy.
"I heard through the grapevine YN was here and you better pray that I'm wrong."
You gave a sheepish smile as you and Billy both shrank back. "U-uh...Who's asking?"
"John Milton. Film Producer for Sunrise Studios and the guy that had to deal with you sueing production and giving me a massive headache. First Gale Weathers, now you. Police breathing down our necks. Honestly, is Security taking naps around here or what?!" He shouted for everyone to hear.
Billy instantly started easing away and had you by the shoulder to subtly lead you as well. You stuttered. "W-Well, we have passes and-" He instantly snatched it from your hand.
"OUT! SECURITY!"
Billy deepened his voice a little and hid his face. "Not necessary, asshole! We're leaving."
You and Billy practically raced out of there, being shoved the rest of the way out until the door shut behind you.
Billy smacked his sides in an exasperated shrug. "Well that was the dumbest fucking idea you ever had."
"Hey, you could have waited in the car! Besides, now we have to find Stu."
"Fucker...Where could he even be?!"
You were pacing and trying to figure out a way until you both got interrupted when you saw Stu walk out with a huge grin on his face.
Billy instantly grabbed his arm and dragged him away from the crowds and prying eyes with a glare. "Where the flying fuck were you?!"
"Chill out, man. I was auditioning."
Billy's whole face dropped. "That was a cover story, idiot!"
"Nope, that was plan A. Guess who just got the part of Stu Macher? Director said I had to get a wig and my nose wasn't right...Funny, as hell considering. But I got it!"
You cringed as you visibly saw Billy start to implode.
"You...WHAT?"
"Billy, we're in public-" You warned.
Stu smirked down at him. "Hey, Mr. brightside. I just got us inside everything in the studio and I get to play ME on the big screen. Win win."
Billy gritted his teeth and shoved Stu against the building. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL!-"
You had no choice but to put an arm around Billy and pull him back. "Vincent, we're joking about that right? Because we're in public." You hissed with a forced smile. Billy clenched his fist and you could see his jaw ticking as you had an arm looped around him. This was the most physical contact without fighting you had with him since Woodsboro. He shrugged you off and glared at you too.
"We don't even know if this is where we should look and this stupid, dumb bastard just put his face...LINKED TO ME; on full display." He turned back to Stu with an angry hiss. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Stu rolled his eyes. "Man, it's fine! I'm SUPPOSED to look like Stu Macher. No one knows! Besides, if the director and cast just now didn't notice then no one else will either...Maybe you need to take more risk instead of sleeping in abandoned buildings and getting paid under the table with fake made up names."
Billy went to get in his pocket out of rage filled instinct and you stopped him. You looked at Stu. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from him right now."
Stu scoffed. "You both are way too uptight. You both look more suspicious right now than me. Lurking around, checking over your shoulders, stumbling over stories."
You rubbed your temple. "You know...This might be good."
"HOW?!" Billy growled out, turning his rage on you as you held up your hands defensively.
"I'm just suggesting that this might be insider stuff considering we both just got banned. Cotton was killed. This movie is about Woodsboro. How funny that Randy AND Dewey got invited to work here."
Billy eyed you "Your point? Make one quickly because my patience is THIN."
Stu's connected the dots first. "...You think...You think the killer is inviting them here?"
"Maybe...Including you. How did this job idea come about?"
"Uh, an agent found me and offered me to work on Stab and...Ooooh fuck."
Billy punched his arm repeatedly. "Oh. Fuck. Is. Right. Stupid. Fucking. Moron!" He growled out between hits as Stu winced. Stu gave him a glare and raised his hand to hit back.
"Stop! Public!... I think we need to stay here and look."
Billy threw up his hands and walked away. "What choice do we have! We're on a wild goose chase and NOW his face is linked to this movie!"
You looked over as Stu ignored Billy and squinted his eyes at someone in the distance. He shook his head. "...Nah, can't be."
You looked and a huge grin slowly spread over your face as you saw him talking to people. A white tank on and an oversized shirt wrapped around his waist with khakis on. He brushed his longer hair back as it tried falling from the volumized swept back look he was going for.
"Ha! It is." You drew out with sadistic glee at the looks on Billy and Stu's faces. "Wait here and try not to show yourselves too much." You ran before they could say otherwise.
You got halfway to him before yelling. "Hey, Seth Green!" You yelled, not caring about the small group of people nearby. Sewing Dewey and Randy brought about a bit of comfort from the anxiety of a new social situation. He looked around and you laughed and cupped your hands to yell again. "Yes, you! I'm a huge fan of your work Seth!"
He whipped his head your way in confusion before a smirk stretched his face. You flipped him off and he laughed and walked towards you, flipping you off as well.
He had a slight limp when he tried jogging but most wouldn't notice. He laughed and rushed over to meet you halfway, picking you up as you released a snort of laughter. He picked you up off the ground and chuckled. "Is Seth ripped? I don't think so, asshole."
"Okay, okay! You just had to show off your muscles, huh? They look good. That training is REALLY paying off. I can use you to fight my fights from now on."
You could feel his much larger and more defined arms set you down as you still had your hands on his shoulders. He smiled at you, his blue eyes twinkling in the sun. He pulled back with an endearing grin.
"I think the hell not. I've seen you fight, you're fine…And look at you! Damn, those red hot pants and the lacey top. From woman of the woods to Buffy Summers."
You shrugged with a flattered smile. "Yeah, I couldn't go to Hollywood in flannels and jeans."
He gave you a confused smile. "I'm so damn happy to see you, honestly! But...What are you doing here? It's not exactly a great time."
Your smile fell slightly and you tilted your head. "What do you mean? Ray, you called me this morning, silly. You specifically told me to come here."
He scrunched his face. "Nnoooo...I most certainly did not."
Your face fell completely as you realized your hunch was right...The killer lured you all here on purpose and you talked to them this morning.
#scream#stu macher#billy loomis#scream fanfiction#my writing#yn fanfic#my stories#she her yn#fanfic#ghostface#scream 3#terrible trilogy
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I'm nowhere near done (it's just a one shot, it's just a one shot, it's just- well fuck, I'm thinking of a longer plot for it now -_- ) but here's a blurb. vampire/hunter scarian upon ye ;p
“Scar!” Grian barked, eyes burning and hands gripping the ledge with a white-knuckled hold. “What were you thinking?! You need to be more careful! I can’t keep covering for you. If you go after the wrong person, or get caught and I���m not around, you could… ”
Grian’s voice trailed off. He turned his head away, looking over the city below them. The night sky above was dark, traces of clouds from the other day’s rainstorm still present. It was a new moon, no celestial body above to guide people home. It was Scar’s favorite kind of night, the cover of darkness making him want terrible, terrible things he would never dare to speak of in the daylight. Reckless, dangerous things. Like kissing Grian and ruining what comradery the two had scraped together and formed amidst centuries of a war they were born into on opposite sides of the battle.
“Oh Grian, you don’t have to worry about little ole’ me! I’ve been playing this song and dance for longer than you’ve been alive!” Scar laughed. He wasn’t lying. He had seen empires rise and fall, hunters and vampires and all sorts of people come and go. But he had never seen anybody like Grian. There was something about this hunter that made Scar’s stopped heart feel like beating again. Even now, just sitting beside him, Scar was reminded of the first breath of air after a swim, that dizzying rush of clarity.
- 🗝️ ( i WILL finish this,,,,,, someday,,,,,, probably,,,,, help. :') )
JESUS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMGOMGOGM
more.. please sir.. gimmie more.. i hunger.. i starve..
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𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒚 ➤ 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆
Here's one of three Carrie White fics!! :D This is honestly short and sweet, plus simple... compared to the other two. But.... it's here and I'm very much happy with the way it came out. I hope you all enjoy it, as well.
Although, the gif is of Sissy, you can pretend it's either version of Carrie.
(Chloe or Angela's. I, personally, just prefer Sissy's. Although, I love all three.) And despite it being Sissy, too, I took inspiration from the (2002) adaption with Angela whereas Carrie never died in the accident of her house.
Instead, she lives and runs away. And yadda yadda. Enjoy!! xx
Warnings: None. Unless you count fluff and love confessions UwU.
“I know she was your friend but c’mon, (Y/N). She was nothing more than a piece of shit… Grow up. Move on.”
“She was a monster, (Y/N). Do you really think she wasn’t? After all she had done? She destroyed everything and hurt so many people… she killed several hundred people, too… if that isn’t a cruel, heartless bitch, I don’t know who or what is.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just like her…. are you a demon in disguise, too, (Y/N)?”
They said the same exact thing. The statements were always said by different people but the topic of the subject remained the same - Carrie White. Carrie White was the devil. So on and so forth…
It was a constant reminder she no longer was here with us - with me.
The tragedy that struck on prom night wasn’t my fault. Nor, was it Carrie’s.
Carrie had so much anger built up within her, she was bound to explode with rage eventually. And that day just so happened to unravel at the dance. All thanks to the students (and some teachers) of Bates High.
They constantly bullied Carrie for no real given reason, they harassed her for things she couldn’t quite control, either. Not me, though.
I’m not crazy, even if there are people that say I am and even if there are those that put words in my mouth I never said to begin with, too -
It’s not true.
None of it is true.
Everything you’ve read about Carrie White is false. Everything you’ve, more than likely, heard about her is furthest from the truth, also.
She’s not a monster. She never was one. She was just an ordinary girl, begging to be loved, to be happy. And I loved her.
I just… I wish more than anything she realized how much I loved her. I was in love with Carrie White, truly, madly, deeply…. in love with her.
And nobody could ever change how I felt - how I feel - towards her.
The night I was going to confess my feelings, believe it or not, was before the dance. Before everything happened.
The moment I arrived to the dance, well…by then, it was too late. I hadn’t known it yet but almost everyone was trapped inside the gymnasium, nails digging through the doors as they tried - and failed - to escape.
Their blood curling whines and agonizing moans were silenced by the music that played out on the speakers which echoed outside of the windows and bounced back and forth from the building to the parking lot.
I didn’t realize something terrible had happened until I smelled an intoxicating scent that caused my eyes to blur over with tears and caused me to grimace as the odor only grew stronger, thicker.
I winced and gazed around the parking lot which still remained full of different colored vehicles. Confusion struck but after a moment or two later, realization hit like a ton of bricks.
From where I had stood, I saw a huge cloud of gray smoke lingering around the building, only growing more and more thicker in the sky.
When I first arrived, the sky was crystal clear. Not a single speck of white was seen from above. Now, that beautiful shade of blue was replaced with dark and haunting clouds of gray.
Even the moon was no longer hanging in the air for the smoke had it hidden.
The odor that swarmed the air, I realized, was people’s flesh burning. One by one, people within the school were dying and suffocating to death.
Call me whatever you wish, as I’ve been called every name in the book, but I mean it when I say that I could care less about the students and teachers of Bates High. If that made me an insensitive bitch, so be it.
The only reason I even attempted to try to get inside the building was because I remembered Carrie had gone to the dance with Tommy Ross. And I’d do anything to save her.
Expect… I couldn’t.
Every area of the school was locked. Every entrance and exit doors were shut tightly. No matter how hard I tried to open them, the damned thing wouldn’t budge.
I even tried to go through the windows but they were shut, too. There was nothing I could do.
Nothing expect fall to the ground and bury my face in my hands as tears began to fall, one by one, a tear dropped and soaked my hands and stained my cheeks.
Everyone said prom was a night to remember… but I doubt anyone wanted to remember their prom like this.
*~*
The following week after the incident, I heard a knock at my door. Slowly making my way out of bed, I walk down my too small and narrow hallway and open the door once I’ve reached the entrance, glancing at the person behind the screen door.
Sue Snell stood there, hands in her pocket and a look of sadness painted across her face.
“(Y/N),” She began. “Can…. can we talk?”
“About what?” I snarled, not caring if I came off as rude or ignorant or any other definition. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to sleep and never wake up. I already knew where the conversation was going and what the main subject was going to be about. And I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to talk about it.
“It’s about last week… It’s…. it’s about Carrie.”
“I already know. She’s dead, okay? She’s dead and she isn’t going to come back, you don’t have to remind me.” I go to shut the door but Sue sticks her foot out and stops me from doing so. I narrow my eyebrows at her and give her a questioning gaze.
“Please…” She but all begged. “Tonight. Meet me at her headstone, tonight, would you? Midnight. I’m being serious. Trust me on this, would you? I know you have no reason to… but please.. if not for me, for Carrie.”
“Fine. I’ll think about it. Now, I have to go.”
“(Y/N), wait-”
Before she could finish her sentence, I’m closing the door in her face and storming back to my bedroom, falling onto my mattress with an ‘ugh’ leaving my lips.
For the past few days, I didn’t do anything expect cry and scream into my pillow.
The moment I got back under the covers and buried my face under several blankets and two of my pillows, the tears came rushing back down.
I was surprised I still had tears left in me from all the crying I had done, truth be told.
I tried, really, I did… to be strong but it was so hard. Especially when Carrie wasn’t here to make things better.
It was so difficult to live when the one person you kept yourself alive for is no longer around…. it’s hard to live when your heart is no longer beating.
The day Carrie White died was the day a little part of me died, too.
*~*
It was 11:50PM.
The house was eerily silent. The only noise, from where I was at in my bedroom, was the whistle of the wind and the gentle knocking of tree limbs outside on my window.
I glance at the clock by my bedside table. It now read 11:52.
I sigh and sit up, my feet touching the cold hardwood floor. I rub my hands over my face tiredly as I try to come to a decision whether or not I wanted to meet Sue at Carrie’s gravestone.
I came to the decision… yes, I should go. After all, I wanted to make sure nobody wrote any more harsh and ruthless slurs on Carrie’s grave.
Even in death, they wouldn’t let her rest and wouldn’t stop picking on her. Carrie should be able to rest and yet there’s hundreds of people who forbid her from doing so. It was a shame.
People say Carrie White is a monster or the daughter of the Devil himself but in reality, the only monsters are the ones that won’t leave that poor girl alone.
"If you look in the face of evil - evil's going to look right back at you."
*~*
The time I got to the cemetery it had just turned midnight. As I exited out the car, it seemed as if the howl of the wind grew louder upon my arrival.
“Hello?” I call out. My voice seems loud against the empty area and I grimace; I didn’t realize how wobbly it sounded until I had spoken.
(I blamed that on all the off and on crying sessions I’ve done recently.)
“Sue? Are you there? Hello?”
Nothing.
I groan and face palm, shaking my head from side to side. I should’ve known not to come. I should have known better and yet-
“(Y/N).”
My eyes dart forward and I feel my knees begin to buckle out underneath me and all the air in my lungs is snatched away from me.
“(Y/N).” She repeats, walking toward me and gives me a wry smile. “Hi.”
“C-Carrie?” My voice shook and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There she was, alive, breathing and all.
And she was right in front of me.
“You… I thought you were dead.” I was speechless. I could barely form any sentences without stumbling over my words.
“That’s why I’m here,” Carrie explained, stepping closer to me. She rests the palm of her hand across my cheek, fingers brushing over my skin and I shudder, goose bumps prickling ever so softly across my arms.
“I didn’t know how to tell you….” She continued, sighing as she moves a loose piece of hair back and out from my face, tucking it behind my ear.
“I didn’t want anyone to know but Sue found me on the side of the road when my house collapsed… she took me under her wing and helped me out.” She informed. Carrie looked up and gave me a shy smile, her cheeks turning a bright rosy red.
“She insisted I should tell you, too… I was wanting to tell you, regardless but… I had been so scared. I’ve been terrified recently…. and with everything that happened, I only got more scared and… well, I thought you’d be like them and laugh at me or go on and tell the world where I was at and-”
“Carrie, I love you.” I blurt, unable to stop the words from forming out my mouth.
“I’d never, in any way, hurt you. I’ve loved you for the longest time and I thought…. I thought you were dead, Carrie… and it truly felt like I lost a piece of myself, too.”
The blush on Carrie’s cheeks grows darker, deeper as she nods. Tears swell in the corner of her eyes and she laughs softly, taking her hand away from my cheek as she wipes her eyes, sniffling quietly.
“I know. Sue told me, too… and I didn’t believe her. How could anyone love a freak like me? The laughing stock? Everyone’s personal punching bag..” Carrie smiled sadly as she shook her head.
“Mama told me it was a sin, you know? Love only is shared between a man and a woman. Not two men or two women together but… I realized I’d rather burn in Hell and be with the person I love than to go to Heaven being the person I’m not. I love you, (Y/N).
“I prayed every night for a friend and you came into my life at the time I needed you the most. You’re not only my best friend but my blessing, too.” By the time she’s finished talking, I’m crying and pulling her into my chest, hugging her tightly.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” I repeat. “From the moment I met you in the library and we bonded over our favorite novels together at the start of school, I knew I wanted to be your friend. I could care less what others thought.
And then when we went to the park that Saturday evening and had a picnic, I knew I loved you then…. I knew that no matter what, whether we were friends or more, I always wanted to make you happy, Carrie White.”
“And you do,” she reassured, voice cracking as she buried her head in the crook between my shoulder and neck. “You make me the happiest girl alive. I’ve never known true happiness until you came into the picture, (Y/N).”
I pull a little bit of ways out and take her face, pressing my hands across her cheeks and with little to no hesitation, I press my lips hungrily against hers.
Carrie, almost instantly, kisses back.
“I love you.” I murmur into the kiss, not daring to pull away.
“I love you.” She muttered. Through the kiss, I can feel the corners of her lips curling up into a smile. A grin finds its way across my face, too.
“Let’s go… let’s get out of here.” She said, pulling back as she looks up and into my eyes. “Let’s leave Chamberlain and never look back.”
And so, well, we did.
Carrie White wasn’t your average or your typical ordinary girl. She had powers, as I came to find out. I knew there was something unique, something special about her and now I knew what it was.
Carrie White wasn’t a demon. Or the daughter of the Devil or none of that sort.
Carrie White was simply just a girl, ready to start her own life and accomplish her own goals and seek happiness.
And I, (Y/N) (L/N) would do anything to help her achieve that.
Carrie White deserved better than to live in fear and shame.
Carrie White, just like anybody else, deserved to be happy.
So, whether you believe me or not, I don’t care.
If you still think she is a monster in disguise or whatever; I do not care.
I know the truth. Sue Snell knows the truth, too. Carrie White is anything but a monster.
Carrie White is, and forever will be, my girl.
And that’s just that.
End of story.
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