#yes I realize that's an 11 day span

[tgmsunmontue]

Season to Taste - 36/42 WIP

Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another.

PROLOGUE/1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (interlude) 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (interlude) 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 (interlude) 31 32 33 34 35

CHAPTER THIRTYSIX

                “Okay. Listen up. My boyfriend is in town. I’ve got him on the chef’s table. Now… he fucking auto-condiments. It’s a character flaw, but also it’s so very much him that I don’t think he’ll ever stop. So… don’t get your hackles up worrying about it. Or worrying about what I might think. He’s either added ketchup to everything I’ve made, or said it’s too sweet, or that his mom and grandma can make it better… I don’t think he’s actually ever paid my cooking a compliment now that I think about it.”

                His staff are all looking at him in undisguised horror and Bradley knows he’s probably exaggerating a little, because Jake has been plenty complimentary, but he also knows what he likes and isn’t ever afraid of letting Bradley know in no uncertain terms.

                “Oh, also, he doesn’t really know quite how famous I am. At least I don’t think so. We met a decade ago and he knows me as Leonardo, so he gets to call me Leo or Leon or Leonardo if he’s really pissed off.”

                Jaws lower even further toward the floor and Bradley grins at them all.

                “Yeah, I know. I’m in a good mood. My boyfriend is in town. Let’s have a good service okay?”

                “Yes chef!”

…            …            …

                “How did it go?”

                “Fuck…”

                “Again? Seriously? Bradley!” she punches him on the arm and she doesn’t hold back any strength and he flinches away. “What does he do? Suck your brain out of your dick?”

                “Uh…” he not sure whether to confirm or deny, because the weekend had been… illuminating. And amazing. And exhausting both physically and a little emotionally, just with them talking about more things which they might like to try out.

                “Ugh! It’s your funeral. Just tell him over the phone, or through Facetime. I think this is going to be a bigger deal for him than your fame and fortune.”

                “I know! Which is why I want to tell him in person!”

                “Well next time you see him I’m coming as chaperone to make sure it actually happens. You keep beating yourself up over it and it’s not good for you.”

                “I know…” Bradley says, and from the look Vi is giving him he knows it maybe isn’t contrite enough. “I’m… I do know. Sorry. I’ll try to not let it bother me, okay?”

                She snorts at that and rolls her eyes, but Bradley knows he’s forgiven when she rests her head on his shoulder as their plane takes off.

…            …            …

                Jake looks at the email attachment and pulls a face.

                It’s fine.

                This is the life he signed up for, and he’s been spoiled the last few months with being stationed at Fallon. It’s not the closest he could be to Leo, but he’s still seen him fairly regularly. It’s been really nice and he knows he’s going to miss him even more than usual. He rings in his lunch break, know Leo will be deep in the prep stage in the kitchen. He never thought he’d understand so much about how a restaurant is run, but he could listen to Leo talk about it for hours. Has listened to Leo talk about it for hours in fact.

                “Jake! He’s just stepped out front. We didn’t want to ignore the call though… how’s it going man?”

                “Uh, Kieran right?”

                “That’s me! And don’t worry, I know you’re probably on a time crunch. I’ve sent someone to fetch Bradley.”

                “Thanks. I appreciate it. And I’m going good. You know. Pretty standard…”

                “Lather, rinse and repeat right? Same here. Same shit, different day!” Kieran says, the last few words a little louder and he hears other jeers and laughter, has met most of them now and they’re Leo’s squad. He’s glad he has a good bunch of people working with him.

                “Get back to work you bunch of reprobates…” Leo says, his voice loud and clear and happy and Jake can’t help the thrill at hearing his voice. “Hey…”

                “Hey. Uh. Can you give me a couple of minutes?”

                “Of course,” Leo says, and Jake can tell from the change in sound that he’s no longer on speaker, that Leo is moving somewhere quieter. “What’s up?”

                “I got new orders. Direct to Kitsap, then Ronald Reagan for about five months.”

                “Shit.”

                “Yeah. I know you’ll get you hand on the manifest and meet me when you can. Just… I’m going to miss you.”

                “Yeah. I’m going to miss you too. So much.”

…            …            …

                It’s fine.

                Not the end of the world.

                The first few months slip past quickly enough.

                It is grating that he can’t meet Jake in Brisbane when he has leave. The entire crew are slated to take part in the Talisman Saber, which Ice has been telling him about, because he’s involved now that he’s the COMPACFLT and Bradley tries not to think about telling Jake that. He’s going to be seeing Jake when he’s got shore leave in Japan, when the Ronald Reagan berths there after it has done whatever it needs to do in the Pacific Ocean. Bradley can, and will, finally tell him all about Maverick and Ice and he can stop waking up in a cold sweat thinking about Jake being hurt and upset that he didn’t tell him. He runs his finger over the gold band on his finger, knows that the ring he bought Jake is hanging around his neck right now wherever he is and it makes him feel grounded somehow, despite their distance.

                His phone rings then and he startle a little, not expecting anyone, a little wary when he see Ice’s contact name showing. Since finding out how much it hurt’s Ice to talk Bradley has insisted on video calls where Ice can type out what he wants to say. The fact that he’s calling is… worrying.

                “Hey Ice…”

                “Bradley…”

                The scratchy rough pitch does nothing to lessen the tone of Ice’s voice has his knees shaking and he grabs for a chair and lowers himself into it. Is reminded of the time Mav told him about Ice’s cancer, but right now he has Jake somewhere in the Pacific Ocean… Don’t go borrowing trouble a little voice in his head whispers, and it’s been a while since he even remembered his mom saying that.

                “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

                “Maverick is missing.”

                He feels relief flood through him, quickly followed by guilt in equal measure, that it’s Maverick Ice is ringing him about and not Jake. Shit. Mav is Ice’s though, and while he might still be cautious around Mav he doesn’t want Ice hurting. And he doesn’t ever want Mav dead.

                “What? How?”

                “He was flying…”

                “He… Did he crash?” Bradley asks, because how is he missing if he was flying? A plane is pretty fucking thing to go missing. “Or is the plane missing as well?”

                “I…”

                “Shit. Sorry. I know you can’t talk much.”

                “Classified.”

                “Of course it fucking is… Do you think he’s alive?”

                “He’s Maverick.”

                Bradley lets out a long annoyed sigh, because that shouldn’t be an answer, or an end to a line of questioning, and yet…

                “Yeah. I guess he is.”

THIRTY SEVEN

[wannawritefast]

Comfortember 2023 Day 6: “Notes”

A/N: My sporadic contribution to Comfortember. It’s short but Johnny Cage bbs come get y’all juice. It’s my birth month and I’m closing in on the end of my semester so I can’t promise anything but please enjoy!!

Pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader

Warnings: none, fluff :)

Notes. Johnny left them everywhere. Don’t get him wrong. He definitely preferred the convenience of using his phone to send you little memos. It was instant and Johnny could really accommodate his own attention span by using his phone but when he found out on accident how much you loved them, he made a point of it.

You both still remembered the first of its kind.

A pink sticky note on the back of your script that said “And it was all a dream!” with the most hastily-drawn smiley face ever.

You laughed when you saw it. It was a miracle that it hadn’t become a casualty to the rough handling of your scripts before you discovered it.

He had to have done it when you were putting your post-its in your script, marking it up the night before. You hadn’t thought much of the clumsy kiss he gave you when he checked in as the sun went down. Then again you hadn’t been paying that close attention to him or anything else for that matter. A glass of water. A “How’s it going, baby?” A stumble and a peck. And his leg and hand knocking right into the back of the thick stack of 8.5 by 11 copy paper in your grasp as he had moved to sit next to you.

The bump into the script in your hand had been completely intentional, you realized with delight at the table read. It made your Instagram story in seconds accompanied by the words ‘original illustration by @johnny.cage’ and some pink hearts in the top right corner.

That had sealed it.

The next one you found was in your purse. Well, not your purse exactly. It was in the compact in your purse. Blue. “Hey, good-lookin.’” A winky face. It had fluttered out as you were landing out of the country for a shoot. You still had your neck pillow on. You sent Johnny one of the ugliest selfies you had ever taken with it. Against your protests, it became his lock screen photo.

Then they truly popped up everywhere. Your boyfriend was relentless.

A set of expensive rings you’d stared at a little too long on Rodeo. Purple sticky note. “For my precious.” A noble but indecent-looking stick figure attempt at Gollum was near it, partially scribbled out.

Surprise coffee in your trailer. Yellow note. Sunshine with sunglasses.

New boots, courtesy of Johnny. Pink. “Step on me in these.”

Sleeping in while he had left at the crack of dawn. Pink. “Busy all day. Sushi at our regular spot for dinner.” Heart.

Almost all of them made your Instagram story. The dick that looked like it had been drawn by a middle school boy on a blue sticky note slapped to the bathroom mirror, for example, hadn’t made the cut. The ones that did though… Johnny reposted each within 5 minutes, no matter what time it was.

Like the orange sticky note you woke up to under your glasses that said ‘Jinkies!’ You had gone to bed and left them on your nightstand at 4 am. Johnny had stayed up with you. He had left at 6 am for the day. It made you worry about his sleep schedule.

It didn’t matter that you couldn’t keep up with his god-like speed in making unique sticky notes. You posted them. And you kept and remembered all of them. All of them. Yes, even the blue doodle dick.

Again, Johnny definitely preferred sending you texts and voice memos as soon as he felt like you were forgetting how hot you were, which was usually several times a day. It should also be noted that the sticky notes never detracted from the amount of attention he was already giving you. Johnny was a beast at reminding you how much he loved you.

As he had said it once: “There’s no threshold, baby. I’ll die telling you how sexy your walker is; the last sticky note I ever leave you will tell you the same thing.”

He slapped one on your ass after he had said that. Yellow. “Johnny Cage wuz here.”

[therentyoupay]

just want to quickly tell you that i really admire your dedication in completing your 'at the center' fiction, which is WOW, absolutely commendable!! ( and expanding other drabbles as well??? i'm blown away ).

although we've only been following each other recently, i hope to be like you someday and have the motivation to keep posting updates for my fics no matter how long it takes 🥹 okay that's all and have a very nice day!!

thank you!! 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏💖💖💖💖 so much!!! for your sweet comments and for the encouragement and for dropping by to leave a message 😭😭💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏🙏 I HOPE YOU, TOO, HAVE A VERY NICE DAY ✨

and i'd like to also take a moment to say a few words about (✨forging, fostering✨) the motivation to keep posting updates for fics (no matter how long it takes!!!!), but first, i'd also like to very briefly share with you two of my all-time favorite fanfiction WIPs (one is ongoing 20+ years, and the other is 10+) to help contextualize my response:

#1. ————

More Than Human (Words: 332,245 | Complete: No) by sbj "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Camus {High School AU!RrB/PpG}

FIRST PUBLISHED: January 31, 2009

LAST UPDATED: June 18, 2019

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 10 years, 4 months, and 21 days

#2. ————

Re-Entry (Words: 568,178 | Works: 22 | Complete: Yes) and Re-Entry: Journey of the Whills (Words: 923,940 | Works: 59 | Complete: No) Obi-Wan Kenobi, while still a young Padawan, suffers an injury and wakes up with all of the memories, experience, training, and Force-strength of Old Ben Kenobi. {Time Travel AU!Star Wars Re-Write} by flamethrower

FIRST PUBLISHED: October 1, 2002

LAST UPDATED: December 30, 2022

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 20 years, 3 months, and 6 days

————

these WIPs are only two examples! tons of my favorite stories have spanned multiple years of progress!

mine! ————

at the center (Words: 395,094 | Complete: No) by @therentyoupay Legends and fairy tales, magic and myths, and—at the center of it all—a story of a young, future-Queen and her young, ageless-Guardian; a girl cursed with fear and a god frozen in time, and all of the reasons why seeing isn't always at the heart of believing. {Guardian AU!Jelsa}

FIRST PUBLISHED: January 17, 2014

LAST UPDATED: January 2, 2024

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 9 years, 11 months, and 22 days (happy almost 10th anniversary!! ✨)

thoughts & feelings! ————

everyone writes at their own pace, in their own time, with the best resources they have, according to whatever life stage(s) they are at 💕

~most readers generally express gratitude and understanding and patience! fandom culture (across fandoms) shifts and changes all the time, so while there are times in fandom (generally) in which the ✨entitled expectation✨ is for fic authors to "WRITE FAST, PUBLISH OFTEN," there are also times in which readers go out of their way to share beautifully encouraging messages like "even if you never update again, i am so grateful for what you have given us (so far)!" and "i will wait for this story to update for the rest of my life, and i will be happy with an update no matter how long it takes" and, often—both messages at the same time. 💖

a good skill to develop is the mental strength to withstand the not-so-nice messages while absorbing the positivity of the lovely ones! i don't post or respond to the really nasty anons i sometimes receive 👀 like the ones that accuse me of having "abandoned nearly all [my] fics"—i personally delete them immediately! anons like that do not deserve someone else's ✨energy✨. (for the first time—i think, ever?—i did post someone's confusing? rude? anon the other day [i.e., i am a hoarder who creates suffering by withholding fic updates?? i think??], but i attribute that choice to publicly post [my reaction gif to that anon] to my current Life Stage™ and my hard-earned self-confidence in the knowledge that I Can Do Hard Things. ✨ my development of that muscle has come from finishing other long-progress fanfics, and, to be honest, Real Life Milestones like going to grad school [twice] and Doing a Dissertation ✨). all in all, the motivation to keep updating is really, at its core, about having the will and the time and the mental energy and the passion to dedicate time to something that you really want to do, even through all the obstacles and nonsense, which takes mental (and emotional) strength! 💖 develop and fortify your mental fortitude! 💖💖💖💖 it's a lifelong process! ✨

and lastly, and most importantly, in my opinion... regardless of whether or not you think any potential readers might be out there (chances are there WILL BE, but that's not the point!!!), just keep writing... and write what you want, and write for yourself! whether you update in two days, or ten years, or twenty-two—do it, anyway!! 💖💖💖💖💖

LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, GOOD LUCK 💖✨ (and keep me posted lol)

[raven-nerd4life]

you wanna know how how God damn indecisive I am?!

aka my lgbtq journey

So when I was 11, I never heard of girls dating other girls, But after making 1 friend at a new school, I was like "oh shit I think I like this girl". She rejected me and I was friendless

So I thought I was bi, but didn't feel to much attraction to boys so I went from bi to lesbian.

THEN only a few months later i moved, I still didn't feel right so I went from she/her to she/they. Cause I thought I might feel better, then to just they /them. That's also when I decided I was pansexual.

BUT, I still didn't feel right so I changed to he/they. That lasted 2 months. AND ONLY AFTER 7TH GRADE I REALIZED I WAS JUST QUEER, and don't really care like, pan, bi, gay, whatever

Now I'm a boy and just go by he/him, and are queer

so ye to put It simple

bi - she/her

Lesbian - she/her

Lesbian- she/they

Pan - they/them

pan- he/they

IN THE SPAN OF 3 YEARS

And rn I'm just Queer- he/him and will remain till death. (I do question if I'm genderfluid but I dont think so)

My family was so confused on what to call me for 3 years, hahahahahaha.

--------------------------------------------

I also can't spend my money cause I can't decide what to get. So I don't spend it. I also do this with tv shows, so I just don't watch TV that day. I always overthink to the point it gets to complicated to hand and I leave it be

Moral of this random ass story, be indecisive, it'll help save money :))

[ggukkieisintominnie]

JIMIN THE FLIRT

and it negative affect on jikook

A baby army phase is the main reason why alot do not believe in jikook, for various reasons spanning from the abundance of Y/Ns scenarios, armyblinks theories and an unhealthy exposure to tkk. Today however my focus is on the Jimin the flirt image.

I became an official ARMY after MOTS7 meaning I was a baby Army during lockdown so plenty of time to go through every YouTube recommendations. So from compilations videos, to performances, to taekook slow- mo edits -you name it I watched every youtube video a baby army in 2020 had to watch. And with all that comes certain and distinct images painted on every member.

Jimin is the flirt of the group, the womanizer and mostly the one to lure for male gazes. Jimin the one that knows his hot and very much loves the attention they give especially the attention coming from the male audience... once you JIM-IN you can't JIM-OUT (😂)

The video I want to highlight on is the access interview about the members favorite body parts... you know the famous clip on which Jimin lusts real hard for the interviewer that slaps his thighs that he loses concentration -yeah that one.

Time skip to December 2020, now I refer to myself as a well established ARMY and get to watch the jikook mma performance and I'm like wow are they beautiful. So yes after that day it was logical (human nature even) to search more on the pair because prior to that they were just known as Jimin the flirt and Jungkook the not-so willing victim because that how they were branded by ARMY.

So the more I watched, the more I realized that there is something different with the pair however as early as my Jikook honeymoon started it ended on February 2021. I stopped trying to degrees deeper meaning to them because... Jimin is the flirt he does it with everyone.

Fortunately pandora opens up again during Jimin's 2021 birthday live (still soft for that Jimin 🥹). That whole conversation of calling Jungkook over is still by far the most domestically romantic shit I have seen on media. Their interaction made one thing clear -there is more to jikook that meet the eye, they are in love.

So down the rabbit hole I go once again however this time not in search of the pairs perfect synergy on stage but for the pairs magical romantic moments. Funny enough I was expecting to see Tkk slow-mo type of edits but I was presented with a jackpot -GCF Tokyo directed by, edited by and filmed by Jungkook.

I was spooked, shocked and amazed that what I just watched was real and not just a fragment of my imagination. So I binged watched more (observation by a non-shipper.) And read about them extensively. A common timeline is established with the most important date being 08/11/15.

And that makes for the triumphant return of the JIMIN EFFECT videos especially the highlighted one. So I couldn't help but ask myself why in the world would Jimin lust over someone when his boyfriend is sitting right next to him??? and why is he such a flirt if he has been in a relationship all this time.

Questions like that came to mind immediately. However once I return to watch all those videos... I laughed at how stupid I am to make such things rise doubts to jikook being real. By this time I am two year old ARMY and aware that the image painted by ARMYs for baby ARMYs to follow aren't all that factual once you actually establish yourself into the fandom.

So yeah the baby army phase takes away validation of Jikook via high dosage of rubbish.

"Jimin is a flirt, he does it with everyone and Jungkook is just a victim of his flirtatious advances." a baby army just recently told me this, I was about to fight them however I realized I was once there but I saw beyond that... Unfortunately not all get to see how special Jungkook is to Jimin.

[dainesanddaffodils]

I wanna write fic but my Brain doesn't so instead of a full fic I'm just gonna write a long Tumblr post about the thing I wanna write fic about that's... kinda a fic? mix of fic and not fic

soo

AU where Estinien and Cimorene met very briefly as kids.

y'know. pre-Nidhogg.

also pre-calamity so it's not... endless winter in Coerthas. Except it IS still Winter because it's like. Starlight season and it's the alps, so its kinda snowy. And being, y'know, shepherds, Estinien is accompanying his father to go, like, trade some wool in the North Shroud and its probably the first time he's gone because he's like 11-12 now and his father thinks he's old enough to start learning more about The Family Business.

so they're in Fallgourd Float, which is warmer but still kinda snowy because again, foothills of the alps in winter - and they're essentially peddling their wares to folk who don't want to travel all the way into Coerthas for the kind of good quality wool that area has. And it goes pretty well and they make what's considered a decent amount of Gil for a market day and so they plan to stay the night at the town's inn and go back home in the morning.

and just outside the inn there's a cart with a small... not quite crowd gathered around it. And sitting on the back of the cart are two au ra, playing instruments for the handful of people amassed.

which, you know, is kinda fucking rare. rare in Gridania and very rare in Coerthas. and like, rural shepherds boy Estinien has definitely never seen one and only kinda heard of them, and he kinda looks to his dad for 'how do we react to this' guidance.

and Estinien's dad isn't racist because I said so, because I refuse to play into rural and catholic must mean racist. So even though he, too, probably has actually never seen an au ra and definitely not a xaela au ra, he does know that they're not, y'know, dragon-adjacent and so he's just like 'huh. didn't think au ra came this far north'

so Estinien is like 'we're cool. got it.' and moves a little closer because, damn it, he is curious.

There's the au ri man with pale blue skin and white hair - and he's singing a Starlight carol that most people know (because Cimorene's dad was really good at picking up songs from every place they traveled; he also learned Starlight is popular in the Shroud and playing Starlight songs will get more people interested).

Beside him is a young girl that doesn't look like she could be any older than Estinien's baby brother. Her skin is a milky white, her dark mossy hair is braided back, showing off fin-like horns. She's playing a long stringed instrument that looks like its too big for her - but she clearly knows what she's doing. She's focused entirely on playing, unlike her father who is beaming at his audience, exuding warmth and friendliness. It's that, as much as his pleasant voice, that draws Estinien a few steps closer, fully into the amassed crowd.

Then the man picks up a small flute that had sat beside him and begins to play. On cue, the girl takes over singing the next verse.

Her voice is high and clear as a bell - so much so that it's hard for Estinein to fully wrap his mind around the idea that she's making the sound and not another instrument. It's pretty, yes, but almost unnerving. He thinks of folk stories his mom has told him, about sirens in the seas that lure sailors to their deaths. He kinda takes a step back and runs into his dad who has moved up to join him.

They linger until song ends and a couple people drop Gil in a basket the au ri man has gotten out. He thanks each person, even strikes up small conversations with a few who seem more inclined to speak to him. Meanwhile the girl tunes her lute-like instrument with single minded focus that makes her seem older; his brother certainly doesn’t have that attention span.

Estinien doesn’t realize that he’s staring until his father taps him on the shoulder, passing him a Gil.

“Go on; they gave us a show.”

The man is in the middle of a conversation with a miqo’te hunter that doesn’t look like it’s wrapping up anytime soon. Estinien shuffles in place awkwardly, before he finally gets too impatient and walks up to the girl.

“Here,” he says, holding the coin out to her.

She looks up at him, eyes wide. It’s the first time he’s really seen them; a bright yellow that seems to glow in the grey, early evening gloom. She doesn’t take the Gil. She doesn’t say anything.

Her father laughs, not unkindly. “Cimorene, the nice boy wants to give that to us.”

She hesitates a second longer then snatches it out of his hand and scrambles back into the cart, closer to her father.

“Come on, I know I’ve taught you better than that,” he says, shaking his head.

Her pale face darkens. “Thank you,” she mumbles.

Estinien just shrugs; he doesn’t like having this much attention on him. “Can we go inside now?” He asks his father.

It’s his turn to be laughed at. His father exchanges a look with Cimorene’s father that says ‘kids, am I right?’ before he says, “Yes all right. Thank you,” he adds again to the musicians.

“Thank you,” Cimorene’s father echoes. Cimorene is still tucked into his side but she gives them a small smile at last - and Estinien can admit she’s kinda cute (the way adults call his little brother cute; the way newborn lambs are cute).

The au ri musicians are gone in the morning. Ferndale is gone a month later.

Both children forget the encounter entirely.

[louwhose]

20 Questions for fic writers

Thanks @adrift-in-thyme for the tag

I think I've done this before, but considering the date I'll modify all the answers to be strictly for this year

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

22

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

116,012

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily the Legend of Zelda. In theory also Dwight in Shining Armor, but unfortunately I struggle with grasping the characters when I try to write for them. Will try to be working on it this next year.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

One Little Scare Ought To Do You Some Good

Fake It 'Til You Date It

Link's Lawn Mowing Service

A Princess to Protect

Reading Between the Lines (../.-../---/...-/./-.--/---/..-)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed and decide not too because it's not worth being stressed over. But it's fun to talk with commenters and let them know they're appreciated, so I do it when I can!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Even Though You're Not Here, without a doubt

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'll go with Sailing ‘Cross the Ocean. Because that one was just plain fun.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really

9. Do you write smut?

No

10. Do you write crossovers?

In the form of aus, because characters I like in a different story I also like is fun

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! Sun's heart and Moon's tears with @linktheacehero! And theoretically I may have more one day, if any of my rps ever finish.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Zelink. There are many fictional couples I love, but no other trumps all the interations of Zelink that I've come to love.

15. What’s the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Several because I have too many ideas and not enough attention span, but here I'll just say my Minish Cap "arranged" marriage AU. I have a whole chapter written for it but am very stuck on the second, and though I love the idea I don't know what will really become of it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Um. Dialogue? Banter? Not really sure.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Aforementioned lack of attention span. I don't stick with a project -_-

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Cool if you do it. I never will. But my interests are in fantasy, so any other language would just be completely made up anyhow. If I want someone to speak in another language, either they don't understand it and I'll say as much, or they do and I'll just note somehow that it's a different language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well. Technically when I was twelve I kind of wrote an atla crossover with a series I liked called Five Kingdoms. But first realizing what I was doing? Miraculous Ladybug

...and since I said this was supposed to be only about this year the first in 2023 was LoZ (now don't everyone act surprised)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Ohh... there's plenty even just this year, but I'll say Shink About It, just because it was indulgent and silly and crack-y.

I'll be tagging @linktheacehero, @zeldaelmo, @cooking-with-hailstones @tired-twili

no pressure, and alternately, if anyone else sees this and just wants to jump on board, consider this your invitation to go right ahead and do so!

[thedragonagelesbian]

General 3, 5, and 7; Story 11; Romance 2, 6, and 11

wahhhhhhhhhhh im crying thank you for sending so many questions.......

companion tav asks

General

3. Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

On Astarion: These are frightening times for us all, I can understand why Astarion leapt to threats first. With time, hopefully we'll all feel comfortable and safe around one another.

On Gale: You know, I asked Gale to explain that portal thingy he got stuck in. I didn't understand a word of it, but he has such a soothing voice, it was nice to listen to him talk for an hour.

On Wyll: (with a slight swoon animation) What a charming man, that Wyll, I don't know if I've ever met someone so selfless and caring...

On Halsin: Halsin is to travel with us? Wonderful! It gets a little lonely in the wee hours before trancing...

On Shadowheart: Shadowheart will be immensely helpful in the days to come, I'm sure of it, and what a delightful presence too.

On Lae'zel: Lae'zel's dedication is admirable, such intensity... I trust her and her people to help rid us of these parasites.

And there's some extended dialogue for Karlach :)

Narrator: Cyrus appears distracted, bouncing on the balls of his feet and staring off at some distant point in the camp. His attention seems to be fixated on Karlach. Cyrus: Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't... Did you, um, did you need something? PC: Looking at someone? Cyrus: Hm? Ah, yes, I- I suppose I was, I was just thinking... Ten years is such a terribly long time to be alone... [Insight Check DC 10: Success] Narrator: His hand skirts to his side. [if PC has slept with Cyrus] You recall noticing an extensive burn scar there the last time the two of you were intimate. Cyrus, muttering to himself: I could probably take it, for a few seconds at least, long enough to hold her hand or... something. She deserves something.

5. Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions?

The big one is siding with Minthara and attacking the grove (short of, perhaps, an astronomically high deception check to convince him that this is for the best, actually).

I also think Cyrus' personal quest can end with him sacrificing himself and, you know, leaving the party by dying. And even if he lives, depending on the other choices in that quest, Cyrus will gladly volunteer himself to be the one who becomes a mindflayer at the end of Act 3.

7. Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game?  Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes?

Yes! Beyond the potential evil corruption arc, his quest would revolve around his oath, his inclinations toward martyrdom, and how that warps his self-perception. The main decision points for the PC would involve either reinforcing his view of himself as a tool for protecting others or helping him to see beyond his impulses to sacrifice himself.

Story

11. What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?

"You know, I remember enjoying this more with the other orphans... I think I'll pass."

Romance

2. Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

Cyrus is a bi slut and will absolutely approach the PC first, he doesn't even need all that high approval, times are stressful and he wants to be helpful and useful and make them happy-- in whatever physically intimate way the PC is comfortable with.

If that means sex, there's a DC 20 Insight check to realize that Cyrus is solely preoccupied with the PC's wants and desires rather than his own. So early on in the relationship, he brushes this off really quickly, but depending on how his personal quest goes, you CAN eventually service top him (which as we all know is the gold standard for physical relationships with Cyrus).

A romantic relationship will require higher approval and can be initiated by the PC at the tiefling party, but it isn't necessary. You can stay FWBs with him and still pursue other romances (contingent on other companions being comfortable with that, of course).

6. How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?

Cyrus is quite courteous during the break up, wanting to support the PC's happiness and the happiness of the other character involved (probably even saying something along the lines of them needing/being deserving of the PC's affection more than him). But there's also an insight check to reveal that he's a lot more hurt than he's letting on and is trying to repress it for the PC's sake.

11. What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

In the world in which the game has the post-final fight party of my dreams, a cutscene begins with Cyrus, very clearly absolutely wasted, trying to (platonically) propose to another companion character who is humoring him until you can intercede. Talking to him, Cyrus glumly explains that he's worried about the party splitting up after this, as this is the first real family he's had in a century, and so maybe if he marries everyone, he'll be able to keep them together-- but so far, no one's acquiesced.

You can tease him by suggesting that you know someone who would probably agree. Cyrus Does Not Get It until you get down on one knee and propose to him, and the euphoria on his face as he realizes that you are acting on and manifesting something he wants is unparalleled.

There's a fade to black as he picks you up, swings you around, and tries to serenade you.

[ramblingdisaster73]

Trying to distract myself so to make the wait for next episode go faster but unable to completely shut down my 911ls monkey brain... How long do you think the owen&nazis storyline will span? We know it will be till at least ep6 but will it be the last? Will that storyline be wrapped up by ep8 when supposedly him and tk will talk? Or it will be a season long thing?

Personally I hope it will end soon, I dislike when specific villains drag on for an entire season. And I also would like lighter and funnier stories for Owen, like wedding shenanigans. I'm also hoping to see again his brother Robert, ideally with tk too,but I know I'm probably asking too much on that front.

I am seriously hoping it is all tied up by the end of 4x06 – I am also hoping that we don’t see a lot of it in 4x05 – that the truly focus on the Marjan & Grace storylines for the bulk of that episode.

I kinda think there might be some kind of cliffhanger at the end of 4x05 – to lead us into the end of this Owen is so desperate for friends his age that he almost joined a group of Nazis for a cool new nickname arc (sorry that is pretty much how I refer to it in my head.)

There are some things I really have liked about this arc:

Showed how easy it is for groups to entice new members – Make them feel like they have a place they can belong – but that the groups will do so while they hide their true intentions. *Owen is WANTS friends his own age – he doesn’t tend to look below the surface of people until someone else (in this & a lot of other cases – that is Judd) open his eyes.

Showing how these types of groups want to appeal to & add first responders to their numbers – it gives them a sense of legitimacy in their actions & goals (at least to themselves). – O’Brien being a founder is something that didn’t shock me at all – I said all along he was higher in the hierarchy than we were being shown at first. While he may have gotten out – It's not really easy to leave a criminal organization – even if you are a cop.

BUT – I think it would be great to have an Owen arc where he realizes he CAN’T always be the ‘hero’, the one in the thick of it. Where he doesn’t save the day.

They have this weird obsession with making him this big hero type character – but, they do it in a way that makes him look so incredibly stupid and naïve about how people are. Every time I watch these first 3 episodes, I just think he is more and more stupid.

In 4x02 Owen asked the FBI agent if it was him, that when it came to him making male friends his own age & shit inevitably goes wrong – Is the problem him? I yelled “Yes, it is you.”

He needs to look around him – see that what he is looking for while he fucks shit up with people like O’Brien, Billy, & Red – he already has – just with a guy that is a bit younger (Judd), a woman who is closer in age (Tommy), and the twenty-something that he practically adopted (Mateo).

Owen/Rob absolutely kills the comedic scenes –I love those scenes – the one in 4x02 of him & Tommy in his office makes me tear up from laughing so much. For me, these are his stronger scenes/performances. But they built the character up as this huge hero – a lot from being a 9/11 survivor – that they keep throwing him in these plotlines that have nothing to do with being a fire captain – just a naïve adrenaline junkie – and they keep making them longer and longer.

I understood why they stretched out the ice storm in season 3, there was so much going on – FOR EVERYONE – that they had to stretch it out. But, for season 4, they started with 3 main storylines:

Tommy & Reverend Parks – This was one of the focuses for the 1st two episodes – and will be coming back – this I think is one of the 2 season long arcs – Tommy really moving on after Charles

Carlos is married/Iris & Carlos getting kidnapped – This arc will be wrapped up this week (TOMORROW!!!) – but it only a piece of what I think the other season long arc is – Tarlos wedding (I am really leaning into it being at the end of the season). We will be getting pieces of this arc until the end.

Owen & the nazis. – I don’t know why they had to stretch this one through six episodes – unless they are running out of ideas for Owen – which, if that is the case, I have some they can use.

*The stills for 4x06 show Owen, O’Brien, the male FBI guy in the hospital room of Red (that is who it looked like to me) – So I do think that ep ends it. (Or at least I am trying to convince myself that it does).

Owen being desperate for male friends in his age bracket that will instead, just help him fuck up his own life is the series arc. Really all this rambling to say that I really hope the nazis are gone by the end of 4x06 – like really hoping.

I don’t think I will ever be able to trust a dude that is roughly Owen’s age that wants to be his friend – his track record is not encouraging.

[maximuswolf]

Should I trust stubhub for Chromakopia tickets?

Should I trust stubhub for Chromakopia tickets? Not sure if this is the right sub to ask but l've been trying to get my hands on Chromakopia tickets for July (yes I realize I am quite late) I went to the cmiyg| tour and purchased my tickets through ticket master, received them same day and had no problems. I had plans of purchasing through ticket master again however I waited too long and all floor seats are taken. I tried finding other sellers that are reliable and I keep getting mixed answers.I understand it's seller dependent but I was wondering if this was a "too good to be true" kind of thing. I found floor seats on stubhub for like 375 dollars. These prices are really good and if it's legit I wanna get them before they sell out, but I don't want to buy them, go to nyc, and then never get the ticket sent. I'm just wondering if I should trust this sale or not and I'm also wondering the time span of getting sent the tickets.There's other people involved if I do go, so I can't just go to the event and hope the tickets get transferred same day. Submitted December 26, 2024 at 11:23PM by Intrepid-Novel6943 https://ift.tt/9mlCAio via /r/Music

[bellevvalencia]

So, what?

I have nothing to write about anymore.

Do I write about age?

About my birthday or my friends or my family?

Maybe I should write about the last three months again.

I kind of wanted to write about one night, but a night is all that it was.

Is my career something I should think about right now?

Am I missing something?

Am I right exactly where I need to be?

Am I doing enough?

Maybe I’m not doing enough.

The story is not that boring. You wear blazers to work and suffer through impostor syndrome because you are a seven out of seven. You go straight to the gym, hungry and tired, not really thinking about it because it’s either you go or you kill yourself inside. You think about moving out, or buying a car, and whether or not it’s something you can afford by yourself. You think about staying in the country or flying out abroad to live anew. You think about death sometimes. You think about love and you wonder if it’s ever going to find your way. You talk to your friends a lot. You look forward to going out with your friends a lot. You party every weekend. You kiss boys you’ve known before and you kiss boys you’ve only met. You drag yourself through Mondays. You miss your family sometimes, but you convince yourself that you have to get used to it because you’re a grown-up. You unlearn new habits and relearn old habits because you find out that the things that you loved and hated about yourself are what make you you.

All that you do is personal to you. Although a lot of it, considerably, cannot be. You tell yourself again and again that no one ever truly knows, even if all signs point to just one direction. You want someone so badly but you don’t want to settle. You want to be a fuck yes, but even you can’t really give anyone a fuck yes.

What else am I supposed do write about now? That, in a span of two hours, I have decided three times that I would not go to the gym, but as I write this at 11:01 p.m., I am resting through my RDL sets on the gym floor...?

The story is not that boring. If you think about it, it’s actually pretty scary. You have all these interesting bits and pieces but they are terribly difficult to make sense of. In consulting, the most important question is, “so, what?” It’s supposed to come as the second nature.

Fuck if I know what the answer to my “so, what?” is.

It’s good and fun and awesome to write and live to tell these until you’re walking one day and realize that all of your steps are all that they are... they are steps.

What they are leading towards, you’re not entirely sure.

It’s quite a hard question to answer: knowing what you want to do, not what you’re okay with doing. Because most of the time, there’s really no way of telling. You can be excellent at something and still feel like shit every waking morning. You can suck so miserably bad at something and still gleefully bounce out of bed every single day. Finding the sweet spot in between takes time, effort, and precedence. And maybe a little bit of luck.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have a precedence. A figure to look up to, or dreams, or actual goals, for example—because there are first-borns who grew up as machines, independently fueled by an unspoken force to work as hard as they can, no matter where the path leads on. It’s a privilege to be that first-born sometimes. You get to stick through things to see the end, even if those things are already fucking keeping you off of it. You’re stubborn in this way, but it’s not like you can help it—you were shaped to pick the choices that are best and safest for everyone, not just for you. It works out half of the time; the other half you either get a good laugh or a terrible cry. But it’s okay. First-born machines are built to be okay.

We’re okay.

You could be a middle-child, too, with tons of insecurities and a coping mechanism to alienate, which will make it incredibly hard to identify what you love from what you tolerate. You could be the last-born, with the pressure of the entire royal family hereby bestowed upon your shoulder, unofficially, and although you know it’s just how they love you, you’ll never feel as comforted by it as you are shaken about it.

The order could be anything and you could have all the traits like you won the lottery. But nobody really cares about that when you feel like the air that you breathe is fucking lapsing, and your brain starts asking you, so what?

So, what? You give it a shot.

You don’t know what you want to do until you give it a try and live it out.

You’re a teen in your twenties, you have all the time to experience anything in the world, and no matter how much you have to lose, you only really have more to gain.

You work out after work? Good for you. You don’t? Get as much rest as you can.

You’re moving out? Best decision you’ve ever made. You’re not? Spend time with your family as long as you can.

You’re going abroad? You better max it out. You’re not? Chase what’s holding you back.

You want to die? Okay. You don’t? Okay.

You’re looking for love? Great, I’m single. You’re not? That’s also great.

You party every weekend? Why am I not invited? You don’t? Take care of yourself.

You kiss boys? Kiss some more. You don’t? Don’t.

You hate Mondays? Everyone does. You don’t? What is wrong with you?

You miss your family? Go home. You don’t? Go out.

You’re unlearning and relearning yourself, in your twenties, in the middle of this chaotic shitshow that is the quarter-life crisis? Be proud of yourself because not everybody can.

You’re not? You should.

Again, you ask me, so what? We have everything to write about. We just need to learn to live the story.

[plaindangan]

One month into Kirumi taking care of Kaede… and I will let you decide:

A. Kirumi couldn’t resist Kaede bubble buns and has taken to doing all the pianists work for her, allowing the fat butt slut to laze about and get huge and needy, for the maids monster meat in her door frame busting ass!

B. Kirumi has whipped Kaede into shape, maybe a little too well. Now the pianist is a huge muscly Amazon, with a much larger muscly ass that demands dick appointments. And unfortunately for Kirumi, Kaede is much MUCH bigger than her now.

Disclaimer: Below is content that's more on the racy side! If not for you, you probably shouldn't read!

Now, when they started, Kirumi admitted she would have her work cut out for her and it was easy to see why.

She had to deal with a Kaede who had long since given up personal upkeep in favor of her musical endeavors. Meaning her clothing, her housework and, even that voluptuous body of hers (especially her ridiculously huge butt), was let go a good deal. But! Kirumi was persistent! It took a month of grueling work. Of setting up a schedule for this naughty pianist to follow, to chastising her for not following her chores and workout routine….and even 'rewarding' her with a good dicking down whenever she followed through!~

Yes, by the time it was all over, she could really say she whipped Kaede into shape…which leaves into her current situation.

"Oh, heeey, Kirumi!~ I've done my chores for today!~" the pianist said as she greeted the maid, who came by for daily check-up. This 'new' Kaede. Gone was both the slacker and even the prim girl she was before. Replacing both was a Kaede that would have dwarfed even the likes of Sakura in terms of height.

Both her arms and legs were incredibly ripped and even just the friendliest pat that Kaede gave to Kirumi to gesture her inside, the maid felt incredibly power behind them. Kaede wasn't wearing much beyond a pink sports bra and matching shorts. The lowest definition of 'clothes' that she could muster to put on. They really only served a purpose of showing off her well-earned abs or how her once soft, plump, thighs turned into a pair of huge potential head crushers instead!~ But both paled in terms of her biggest 'ass'ets.

If her ass was once compared to dough, than the training she underwent turned her ass into essentially huge bricks. Solid, heavy and just perfect for pinning down anyone or anything for a crushing defeat!~ Her shorts might as well have been non-existent for all the good it did to hide Kaede's 'fitter' cheeks. The pink fabric couldn't even reach all the way her thighs, exposing 3/4 of her strong glutes shamelessly. It was also plain to see Kaede had decided not to wear underwear for today. No doubt in preparations for what's in store. But that wasn't getting into the last, but most striking thing about her. That being the rather noticeable bulge straining itself and looking as if it was going to rip a hole in such thin fabric anyways.

"You cleaned this place up quite thoroughly…" Kirumi muttered to herself. But Kaede easily heard it all the same. Slowly, a sly smirk appears on Kaede's face. "So finally good for my reward?~"

A pink hue gradually forms on Kirumi's cheeks as she realizes her fate is pretty much set in stone, "Wh-why…yes? Oh!!" As soon as Kirumi let that out, Kaede wasted no time in slinging Kirumi over her shoulders and up to her bedroom!~ Much to the maid's chagrin! She could never quite get used to be carried like this.

In a twist of fate, probably from some horny, trickster, goddess. Kaede had become a futanari just like Kirumi. Key difference being her new body made her ten times as hornier, her erection spanned 11 inches and, instead of looking forward to taking it from the maid, she rather preferred to 'give back' so to speak. Such as now!

PLAPLAPLAPLAPLAPLAP!!!

"N-nothing like a ass fuck after a nice day of cleaning, right, Kirumi?~" Kaede had wasted zero time in getting to her prize, easily ripping away Kirumi's panties and, after destroying yet another pair of shorts with her needy erection, plunging into Kirumi's own bubble butt. Her strong hands gripping away at the soft cheeks as she thrusted excitedly into the tight hole of the maid and into her desirable backside. Such a shame she kept it hidden so often...but that just made moments like these so much sweeter!~

Speaking of which…

"Y-yyyessssssh!!! Yesssh!! G-goooood!~ Veerrrrry goood!!! Sh-shoooow me mooreee!!! More of y-your progresss!! Mooooooooreeee!!!"

Kirumi practically screamed out, her mind going blank with pleasure the moment that she felt Kaede plunge into her needy ass. Her knuckles gripped onto the sheets tightly, her mouth twisting into a grin of lust. Ever since Kaede's body became that way, this had been Kirumi's fate! To be a gaping, soft, fuckhole that had to be filled up with cum as a reward for Kaede's hard efforts! And given just how good Kaede was at this? Kirumi didn't have any regrets about this at all!

[ninacarstairss]

ohhh believe me i packed lots of tissues and i screamed so much!!! it was amazing!!! i still can’t put all these feelings into words. i still can’t even believe it happened. but the post concert depression is hitting so so hard now

nero, i swear, it was mind blowing. harry has this thing for italy, like we all knew that if this tour had to end (yes, if because at some point it seemed to be everlasting) it was gonna be in italy, and he was gonna go with a bang. the show was almost three hours long and he sang all of the songs from his latest album, including one that he only sang once before, and he sang some songs from his other albums that are iconic and so painful and perfect for saying goodbye. and then he sang some one direction songs, he always has one or two on the setlist but on saturday he sang those two songs and then best song ever, which he’d never ever done before and the song had just turned ten years old like two days before. i swear you could hear the moment we realized what song it was because the arena was basically imploding!!! and he talked so much in italian too because he’s been learning it for years and he said goodbye in the perfect way, made us all cry five thousand times in the span of 180 minutes and then brought out a piano at the very end and played a song he’d wrote for us. there was silence for basically the whole 11 minutes he played because i think we were all sobbing. it was really the perfect goodbye

but at the same time i cannot let it go. i’ve lived off news and videos from this tour for three years, it’s so weird to know he’s gonna disappear for a while now. again, he deserves it so much, but it’s weird.

i also spent 130 bucks on merch so now i’m always carrying around a very furry hoodie in 45 degrees weather and a tote bag. it’s my only source of serotonin at the moment

anyways back to everything else, tomorrow the heartstopper trailer drops so i’ll get more serotonin and more nick and charlie 🥹

i’d love to see you just confusing people in italian with that line 😂

yes!!! little matching outfits and a lot of pride flags!!! it would be so perfect!! i can already feel the queer joy!!! :D

oh my god give me all that angst and hurt/comfort!!! i’m a slut for those tropes!!! i’m always here for the pain. i’ll also accept anything else, really 😂 i feel like my rwrb copy needs a break and i need all kinds of fanfictions

ohhh right the big og copy!!! i forgot about that!! i have to get that actually. either that or the british collector edition because i’ve been seeing that around so much lately so now i’m like a kid when they get denied candies. i just need it. also this is gonna be me as soon as my local english bookstores decides to add the movie edition :)))) the fact that you really cradled it to the register is incredibly relatable. i am waiting for the preorders to open internationally for the french collector’s edition because i really, really want that one. and you’ll be able to get so many different editions once you’re on your semester abroad!!! your collection is going to be amazing!!

ugh then this will definitely be a great experience!!! going abroad by yourself is probably the therapy you need to erase the trauma of doing that with your family. worked for me anyway 😂 and really it’s so scary at first, but seeing new places, meeting people and making it on your own, it heals you somehow. i really can’t wait to see you do this whole thing and have the time of your life <3

also this is kind of off topic but i’ve been struggling with self discovery too lately. when i did my semester abroad i found myself, but when i came back i was so lost because this didn’t feel like my place anymore. and lately i have been wanting to leave again, i’ve been playing around with the idea of starting fresh and experimenting a bit and even just the thought of it made me feel a lot better. and last night i was at dinner with some friends and there’s this girl that is into some kind of spiritual magic, i don’t really know how to even explain it, but she can feel and see stuff, and she was reading our hands to show us how it works and she hit that point. she told me i’m very confused but i’m experimenting on a lot of levels and it’s good, it’s helping. i never told her anything about this whole deal so she couldn’t have know, and she told me a lot of other things too that were really on point. i usually don’t even believe in this stuff but it really hit the point, and i don’t know, i think it made me feel a little better. a little more valid, even. because so many people around me say it’s too risky and too late to just start fresh and move away, and that’s always scared me. with so many people saying it, i kind of started believing it

so yeah this was really off topic, sorry, i just felt like i needed to share this :’)

yes absolutely!!! you’re my beloved soulmate bestie, we have to do this, it all sounds way too good to just let it be an idea!!! and yes, you really do need to try the pastas, i’m sure you’d love them!!!

wow. if this is the sentiment now, i guess she must have been really fun at first 😂😂 YESS!! oh i am so glad that you’ll be done with this job!!! you really shouldn’t have to be in a place that drains you so much so i’m so happy it’ll be over once you go abroad!!! and is it?? can i please give you my share of paperwork then? 😂 ok but seriously, we know overthinking is kind of our problem but i hope it’ll be more therapeutic than stressful then

ohh baby 🥺🥺🥺 she is really the cutest

it sounds like a dream. having all that time and a normal sleep schedule. it really sounds like a dream :’( i’m so glad you had a night off though and just chose to relax with a movie. that’s always the best way to recharge

you know, i didn’t even know jaffa cakes existed before rwrb and when i read how obsessed henry was with them i had to run to every store to find them 😂 now i’m obsessed too and they go perfectly with tea. i’m wrapping you in a big hug and giving you a kiss on the forehead <3333

hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

[penaltybox14]

Decofiremen: Soon Be the Dawning Days

@darknight-brightstar @zeitheist Every single one of my attempts to write pleasant holiday-oriented things ends up ass-deep in character dissection and plot exposition.  @squad51goals @its-skadi

In this installment, we talk about seasons, changes, and things to celebrate.

December darkens the days, and sharpens the nights.  There is frost every morning, and the sun is a pale consumptive, waking feebly and slipping weakly into evening.  The potbelly stove in the dorm is always burning, always someone up in the night to tend it, every hour.  The lads spend a productive few hours one off day re-arranging their beds, recaulking the windows, and hanging curtains.  When Josiah asks what they are up to, they explain the lads at the ends of the rows have been getting cold in the night, and they are trying to fix it up so that either everyone is warm, or everyone is cold.

"You mind, Captain?" Jules Menlo asks.  He and Bertram Cochrane have taken up the lead, since Antoine and Ellis left for the City.  They are raw to it, but they are learning yet. 

"Not at all, boys, carry on."

Josiah is pleased with them.  Neat and natty rows of beds can go to hell, the lads are making a fine hearth for themselves.  They make sure to vent it properly, and Lufty nods approvingly at their work - a house inside of a house, a canvas-flanked beast breathing and snoring in the wind-snipped nights.  Josiah only scolds them once, when he catches Davey at three in the morning carrying wood in for the stove.  Sure, he is wrapped up tight as a beetle in a sack of flour, but Josiah reminds them that he's just a boy, yet, and needs his rest.

Young Cleary had stumbled a while, the days after Antoine and Ellis were graduated.  Eddy had given him a scorcher of a talk for forgetting to include Davey in the proceedings, and he deserved it.  That responsibility is still so new and giddy to him - where now, he can remember his own graduation, and think well on it, and not always be so bitter - and he had left the boy bereft.  Fool that he is.  Even Silky would've cuffed him for it. 

My true friend Silky, he writes, one glassy morning when the sun had lost the strength to lift the frost from the grass, you would not believe me or maybe you would.  Do you remember the day the bell sounded for us, at breakfast?  In the good cheer of sending my lads to the city, I left out the boy who needs us most, our young Cleary.  Your god, my friend, would smote me off the earth.  It was a terrible mistake, for I frightened him so badly.  I had to set him down later in the day and explain all the proceedings and the ceremony.  I am not yet sure he forgives me.  I am not sure I deserve it.  Here he is, a boy who has already lost one family, and I am to take another from him.  You can be sure Eddy let me have it. 

yours irresponsibly, Birchy

In those following days, after Antoine and Ellis depart on the train from Troy, his heart aches, something like a tooth you want to forget, something a body can't escape from.  The long hallway is there in his dreams, in the boy's dreams, and now he hears the piano, and the distant laughter.  He smells the books in the study.  When he wakes, he feels the far-off gaze of a man much his senior, cool-eyed but in such a way as a lake when the summer days grow taut about the city streets.  An expectant look, a waiting.  Far off down that hallway, as far from the boy now as the Bronx for him, as the dorm he once sweat out his sear in.  He would want to look away, as the village folks and the oakbellies look at his scars and his brace.

He knows that hallway, and that's just the trouble, for young Cleary has walked it alone, trailing his fingers along the green wallpaper, and Josiah, trembling for the thought of the beam waiting in the ceiling, has not followed.  Coward, he thinks.  To let the child walk his hallway and stumble, smoke-wrecked, to his wide lawn, alone.  A one-legged and half-hearted coward.  Davey looks at him askance often in those following days - doesn't come to read with him or practice his Latin, doesn't follow the lads out on their drills no matter how they coax him.  He walks down the pathway past the brambles and into the woods, his too-large coat down past his knees and his collar up so high it leaves just his dark curls tumbling out in the sharp wind, and when he comes in for dinner, he is quiet and small among the lads. 

It is one of those long, weary twilights when the winter rattles like dry bones, and his leg aches.  He is fixing the ledger, making notes, and Silky's reply is on the edge of the desk.  Davey slips in so quietly he only hears it with his sear, so startlingly that Josiah leaves a blot on the end of a row. 

"Capper?"

He puts his pen down and smiles like he imagines Silky would at an Antoine or an Ellis.  Truth to say, he has missed the boy, even the sometimes frantic, fledgling winging of his sear.  He is far too young to grieve such an emptiness as that long, black hallway and the smoke-torn sky.

"May I ask a question?"

Times, the boy's genteel raising surfaces, softly like the wave on the shore.  Times, as now, he holds his cap in his hands as if he's in a holy place, and his eyes are the shyness of moss on a shadowed ledge. 

"Course.  Always."

"Eddy said firemen don't take holidays."

"Come sit.  What're you onto?"

"It's almost Dawning Days, that's all..."

"Oh, ghosts above, Davey - " Josiah has to laugh.  " - no, that's not how Eddy meant it.  He only meant that fires and accidents and all our work, it can happen any time."

Davey sits in one of the clutter of chairs in Josiah's office, kicking his legs, the gesture of a younger boy, an apologetic sort of gesture. 

"I don't mean to laugh, young Cleary, but we do know the Dawning Days."

From the sundown on solstice to daybreak on New Year's - the time of spirits, the time of the seasons shifting, the time to do good and remember that the sun is only resting for a grand debut.  The oakbellies throw a grand to-do at New Year's, all the officers invited to come at their most festive.  He has not gone - and the oakbellies are likely to be glad of it, he figures, for he would not cut such a charming figure in his full dress and a tin of polish on his leg.  They would, as they did at his promotion, shuffle and swallow hotly above their stiff collars.  He would probably stand the whole night out of pride and spend the week after in bed.  Perhaps it would be worth it.

"Do you have a party?"

"As many as we can."

"And lights?"

"As many as the sills will hold.  The lights and the cups left out for the ghosts.  Eddy has probably got another little tree to plant - you know, that stand of maple by the stables, that's his handiwork."

Davey is looking as delighted as Josiah has ever seen him.  His eyes are younger, now.  He is more the boy that he must have been in golden days, before his long dark hallway. 

"And you already know Bertram and his fiddle, and save us all, we've heard the lads sing."

"They taught me the fireman's song."  Davey grips the chair, and then pauses, as if lost of a sudden.  "Lyddie would've liked that song, I suppose.  Mother scolded her because she called the music our teacher brought her 'musty old tunes'."

From far away, in the marrow of his bones, Josiah feels the soft carpet of the parlor under his shoes.  Dark walnut bookshelves and rich, salmon-colored wallpaper embossed with an intricate pattern, the sort of thing a child would run their fingers over.  The books are less a rainbow than a late-summer forest, greens and smatterings of red and orange.  The girl playing the piano, with the bow in her hair, likes to spin cleverly from the plodding strains of an old mass to the bright chirps of ragtime and dance.  The brother laughs. 

The oak floors in their dormitory had what seemed to be a century of wax and polish creating glistening currents in the low lamplight.  They could have greased the bedsprings with a gallon of lard per man and the damned things would've screamed like witches every time a man so much as thought of rolling over.  A cold night outside, and a warm hearth within, each coat and helmet hung on its hook, each woolen blanket tucked neatly around each mattress corner.  The brothers are singing and the brothers are laughing. 

"Antoine wrote me a letter," Davey says, quietly.  "He says he got his sear."  Davey bites his lip.  "He says everybody looked after him, and his captain Jack Prince gave him a pocketwatch.  Does it hurt so much, always?"

"Every man is different.  It's a hard hand of days.  But we look after each other." "I don't remember, exactly.  I hurt so long, I was in bed and the lady wanted to call the doctor, I think.  I hurt so long, and then - then it just felt like - "  Davey leans forward, puts his arms on the desk and his head in his arms and sighs.  Muffled, he whispers, "I felt like - "

Like wandering, Josiah thinks.  That strange stillness when the fever breaks, before you come around to your mates watching over you, before you pull yourself out of your bed weak and stunned and brand-new on foal's legs.  A fresh and open field, the shaded place where the last dollop of snow lives nearly into June. 

"I know," Josiah murmurs, and lays his hand - his scarred hand - on young Cleary's shoulder.  "I do know, son, I do."

"I wished Antoine didn't have to hurt that way.  Or Ellis.  Or Jules or Betram." "I dunno what it was like - " Josiah sighs.  " - but for me, I had my mates around, and my pal, we got it together.  I never would've got through it, without him."

"Thomas."

Josiah starts.

"Sorry, Capper.  I read it on the letter.  Eddy talked about him once, too."

"Silky."

"Capper?"

"Silky.  That's what we called Thomas."

"Why?"

"I don't remember, really."

"What's he like?"

"Oh," Josiah says.  "I'll tell you.  You'd like him a sight better than me - for one thing, he's got two entire good legs and he could take you down to the fish pond.  Second - "

Davey is kicking his legs again, scuffing the toes of his boots on the wooden floor. 

"Well, I'll tell you.  The day I met him, here at Wynantskill, he very nearly ran me down with a horse, a big old dapple grey gelding we called Chubby..."

Davey leans on his hands. 

Silky's letter, half-unfolded, is by his elbow.  I never really got the brothers' whole forgiveness bit, it says, but I do reckon it's a little bit like when you turn over the ash of a building, and you find a little green thing growing underneath.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Dracula Daily Thoughts From May 11-August 13:

May 11th

- I just realized I never actually got down my thoughts for this one, so I’m reading back from this point to refresh myself. As always, I really love Lucy’s voice as a narrator? She has such a clear personality from the first few sentences, and it’s so distinct from Jonathan and Mina’s narrative voices.

- Many jokes have already been made about how Lucy describes Seward but oh my god “Just fancy! He is only nine-and-twenty, and he has an immense lunatic asylum…” is SO funny. Yes, that’s very fancy.

May 12th

May 15th

- The description of the castle is lovely and atmospheric. The exploration, and focus on opening a single door itself has a Bluebeard-esque quality. I can’t recall if this is where he meets the brides later on, but if so, it would be appropriate.

- I also ove how accustomed to Dracula’s bullshit Jonathan is at this point. It’s simultaneously funny but also feels fairly realistic. It also makes his subtly hinted despair that much more poignant later on when he’s confronted with any sense of normalcy in the unknown wing of the castle.

May 16th

- Jonathan looking to Dracula for safety is heartbreaking and also an excellent choice. The captive narrative aspect of this segment is deeply fascinating to me and I like that touch of nuance there. Especially next to the commingling intimacy and violation of Dracula carrying him to bed and undressing him. And Jonathan’s realization towards the end of the entry that this room he hates, that is his cage, is also something of a safe haven.

- The brides!! I love them!!

- It’s very interesting how Jonathan seems to sense Dracula’s approach, and his fury, before he sees him or otherwise has reason to know that he’s in the room

- Very intriguing that the brides’ choice of argument is to speak of love. I think it can be read in a number of ways.

- Dracula giving them a baby to share for dinner is one of my favorite details tbh!

May 18th

- Jonathan finding the door shut again ramps up the Bluebeard imagery. It also seems to suggest that the brides only have the run of the single wing? Which is interesting.

May 19th

- Anything attributed to Dracula being described as “suave” is very funny. The actual entry is so grim though. I love seeing Jonathan’s thought processes as he considers how Dracula may respond to anything he might do. It may seem like an obvious thing but I like how it implies his prolonged captivity is affecting him, that he must consider these things at all. Idk it’s just something that I think might be overlooked in other stories.

- It’s also so interesting how they’re both still playing at him being Dracula’s guest. And the excuses he makes for why he’s requiring Jonathan to write these letters.

- “I know now the span of my life” is such a death knell of a line.

May 24th

- The tonal shift after Jonathan’s horrors is SO funny, oh my god.

-My boy Seward is so awkward, I love him so much 💖

- Quincey only breaking out the Texas slang to amuse Very British Lucy is amazing. I love it.

May 25th

- It’s very interesting that Seward recognizes his own apparent cruelty in how he treats Renfield, though at this time we don’t actually see how he actually does treat him. And the observation about selfishness vs selflessness feels like a Chekov’s gun to be revisited later

May 28th

- The slight hope that Jonathan may get word to Mina or someone to help him closely followed by the almost immediately dashing of that hope when it turns out the letters were given directly to Dracula is so much. And once again the play at cordiality.

May 31st

- It’s so interesting that Dracula seems to be punishing Jonathan for the letters several days later. I think he said his diary was in his clothes pocket, otherwise I would wonder what he’s even writing the entry on.

June 5th

- LOL at Renfield having a “love for animals.” This is very interesting on reread, because the different format and delayed entries do help to read it with fresh eyes. And not already knowing Renfield’s entire schtick, the way his character is introduced is fairly clever. Like obviously it’s leading somewhere but it absolutely does not prepare the reader for where it actually does go.

June 17th

- People from the outside, being so close, but Jonathan’s locked in his room :( Also I get the impression they’re probably going to be transporting Dracula’s dirt.

June 18th

- It’s very telling that Seward starts out his very first entry awhile ago with how dejected he is at Lucy’s rejection. And then all subsequent entries are just his work observations. This one doesn’t even have any opinions, it’s only focused on Renfield. It gives the impression that he does not want to engage with his own issues at all.

June 24th

- OH so Dracula wasn’t punishing Jonathan, he’s literally just going to use his stuff himself. Though I’m not sure I buy the explanation that he intends to wear his clothes to trick people into thinking they’ve seen Jonathan at the villages or something. I just can’t see clothing being *that* identifying, unless he’s intending to idk stay at inns or something and give Jonathan’s name? Regardless his growing dread, panic, and simultaneous resignation is so well done.

June 25th

- I like Jonathan’s increased focus on the goings on outside his window and the weather, it really adds to the the feeling that he’s trapped in his room, and that is his only outlet and connection with the outside world. It’s also cool to see him organically piecing together that Dracula is nocturnal, when at this point it’s just a genre (and novel) given.

June 29th

- I find Dracula’s interactions with Jonathan, and his dialogue much more compelling on this read. My usual opinion of the novel is that Dracula, himself, is the weakest character. I think I might still finish the book with that impression, especially since he’s going to have less dialogue going forward, if I recall correctly. But his individual interactions with Jonathan have been very intriguing. I think the delayed email format forces me to consider each entry and each scene individually, where my usual habit would be to read very quickly and to maybe lose some of the detail along the way. But this current read, I find him very effective as a captor that puts on a kind face. Which itself is the most unsettling possible choice imo. And him offering to let Jonathan go, with the clear implication that he wouldn’t survive being left out among wolves (or perhaps the brides even) is itself so cruel and I love it.

- I also remember reading some speculation that perhaps the vampires have already been feeding on Jonathan he either isn’t fully aware of it or simply hasn’t been writing it down. I think that’s definitely possible considering Dracula’s line “Tonight is mine. Tomorrow night is yours,” and that Jonathan thought the fair bride was familiar. But I could also read this line as Dracula saying he has one more night with Jonathan as his captive and then afterwards the brides can do as they please, as opposed to some kind of regular taking turns, long-standing feeding arrangement. Much to think about either way, both options are pretty bad.

June 30th

- Jonathan hitting Dracula in the head with a shovel 😭😭

- It’s also interesting that Dracula appears much younger now. I think Jonathan is a little vague on the topic but it sounds like Dracula drank from him in the night aka “tonight is mine” from the previous day’s entry. Which suggests that either he hasn’t drank from him before, or if he has it’s been smaller quantities. Could be he’s willing to be more reckless about amount now because Jonathan’s not meant to be long for this world lol. Though Jonathan hasn’t been complaining of any blood loss related physical weakness either. Could be Dracula’s change in appearance has more to do with sleeping in the soil?

July 1st

- Renfield’s first instance of fly eating rip

- It’s very funny of Seward to say “He has evidently some deep problem in his mind, for he keeps a little note-book in which he is always jotting down something,” in his own journal.

July 8th

- I always wonder at the longer times between entries. What made Stoker skip ahead? It’s interesting to consider

- I also love that Seward, who presumably has many patients, has just fixated on this one dude. Like it doesn’t seem like an ordinary professional way to go about things, I think he’s just fixated because he’s heartbroken and dejected and wants to poke this guy with a stick to see what happens

July 18th

- THE DEMETER MY BELOVED I adore this section as a self contained horror story. The concept of being trapped on open water with a monster and nowhere to run is so fucked it. The opening is fairly sad because the captain’s just like “okay I think we have a stowaway that’s spooking people, it’s weird but whatever.” He has no idea how bad it’s going to get oof

July 19th

- The famous kitten line! I love Renfield so much. I am wondering how he’s actually keeping his animals though. We’re told that he captures flies, spiders, then birds, but how? Do they just stay for the promise of food?

July 20th

- Seward’s absolute lack of response to Renfield most likely having eaten or at least killed his sparrows is wild.

- “It would almost be worth while to complete the experiment.” Literally why Seward.

- I also love that he has a full on Hannibal Lector moment, turning the fairly wild topic of Renfield attempting to cumulatively absorb lives and how he’s tallying that to his own heartbreak and situation with Lucy. Like. I don’t think these two things are that similar buddy.

- “If I only could have as strong a cause as my poor mad friend there—a good, unselfish cause to make me work—that would be indeed happiness.” The monkey’s paw curls 😬

July 22nd

- I like the momentary respite aboard the Demeter. Where there’s the suggestion that maybe it’s not going to be that bad. Maybe Dracula’s just going to sleep for the majority of the way without causing too much destruction. (Which, obviously the answer is “no”)

July 24th

- The Demeter is basically just playing a long game of Werewolf. (or….. Among Us….)

- I also really like the, unintentional, juxtaposition between the frightened Demeter log and Mina’s very calm and cheerful entry.

July 26th

- Once again that element of “oh you have no idea how bad things are going to get” lends the entry so much dread. I wish we could see the letter Jonathan had sent though.

July 27th

- Lucy’s sleepwalking is very interesting because the juxtaposition of the Demeter logs make it very easy to keep track that Dracula isn’t even there yet. So I wonder if it’s just ordinary sleep walking, or idk maybe they can all sense the malevolent pall he’s bringing with him or something lol and it’s affecting her.

July 28th

- I love the general air of distress and how you can’t even tell what’s exactly Dracula’s fault. Everyone’s miserable and on edge regardless.

July 29th

- The very brief entries every day are so interesting because it really highlights how much time is passing and the growing panic aboard the Demeter.

July 30th

- The captain thinking they made it 😭😭

August 1st

- It’s such an interesting juxtaposition between the doom and gloom of the Demeter (once again) and Lucy and Mina’s fairly morbid conversation with Mr Swales. I wonder if the theme of pretty lies on tombstones (or I suppose after death) covering up a more sordid truth is going to come up again. It’s been awhile since I’ve read the novel in full and I don’t remember deception playing a huge part. Though it could be a metaphor for vampirism itself, where later when Lucy becomes one herself, she’s finally going to look healthy and whole despite being a monster? Idk!

August 2nd

- It’s such a slow and agonizing death for the Captain and the remaining what… one? crew member aboard the Demeter. They keep being picked off one by one, and they honestly might as well already be dead. They know there’s nothing saving them.

August 3rd

- Honestly so sad that the captain thinks it was his first mate that’s been killing people! Like no he’s telling the truth! There’s a vampire on board!

- I think Lucy’s odd behavior must already be altered by Dracula. There’s too much attention drawn to it and it’s too bizarre.

August 4th

- I loooove how the fear and dread is being built up around Dracula. It’s such a good way to make sure your villain is fucking terrifying. The captain only just seeing him for the first time and then not again is such a good moment.

August 6th

- Mina’s conversation with Mr Swales is so good. The way it opens on a fairly poignant note about death and not being afraid of it. And then the very sudden ominous shift. I think him looking to the horizon, and the sea, and claiming that death is on its way is honestly much more effective having already read the Demeter’s log entries. Very much the Hitchcock school of building suspense.

(Though even without the extra context, there’s been enough foreboding in Mina’s entries, and everything we already know from Jonathan’s that it still works in a different way. The fear of the unknown angle of the approaching ship’s description and how there’s clearly something up with it.)

August 8th

-“The searchlight followed her, and a shudder ran through all who saw her, for lashed to the helm was a corpse, with drooping head, which swung horribly to and fro at each motion of the ship.” I FORGOT ABOUT THIS?? WHY DID DRACULA DO THAT

- The Demeter’s entrance is so good though. I love it so much. One of my most favorite parts of the book.

- Okay I get the impression, because of the crucifix, that the captain must have tied himself to the wheel, maybe for fear of letting go in his sleep.

- I think there’s likely some sort of thematic significance to everyone immediately talking of who gets to claim the wreckage? Something something parasitic, even predatory behavior, drawing some sort of similarity to vampires? There is also the fact that it’s likely a cursed prize; the only thing we know for certain is onboard is Dracula and the crates of dirt that preserve his immortality. Alternatively, there’s the rather ominous mention that the property is “held in a dead hand,” which could certainly apply to Dracula himself and tie into the metaphor of a parasitic nobility/ruling class.

August 9th

- Incredibly wild to hear about the SPCA in a victorian novel, similar to the mention of the Salvation Army in an earlier entry

- It’s also hysterical the goodwill and concern these people have for the dog. That’s Dracula!

August 10th

- Oh noooo Mr Swales! I forgot he died!

- “Lucy is so sweet and sensitive that she feels influences more acutely than other people do.” are… are you saying Lucy is an empath?

- “Lucy is asleep and breathing softly. She has more colour in her cheeks than usual, and looks, oh, so sweet. If Mr. Holmwood fell in love with her seeing her only in the drawing-room, I wonder what he would say if he saw her now.” ……Mina…. that’s gay.

August 11th

- The eeriness is so well done! It’s also so interesting to consider how the 1992 altered this scene. I’m comparing the book to it both because it includes the most number of 1:1 scenes, where other adaptations tend to fudge things even more, and also because I’m listening to the soundtrack while I read, so I’m thinking of it more lol

- “Lucy always wakes prettily, and even at such a time, when her body must have been chilled with cold, and her mind somewhat appalled at waking unclad in a churchyard at night, she did not lose her grace.” Mina…. you have some realizations you need to come to

- I also really like Mina thinking the telltale bite marks on Lucy’s throat were from her hastily using a safety pin to fasten a shawl lol.

August 12th

- “Seeing from his violent demeanor that he was English” 😭😭😭😭

- I did have a visceral reaction to hearing about Sister Agatha though. As chill as she is in the book, the name gives me BBC Dracula war flashbacks.

August 13th

- The bat!!! Poor Mina’s just like eh whatever anyway

- It’s very interesting though that Dracula makes a beeline for Lucy (and by extension Mina) I don’t think he particularly has reason to? Is it sheer coincidence?

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Darker Shadows

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): A Court of Thorns and Roses Series/Azriel

Rating: PG-11/T-

Original Idea: Nothing in particular. Finished the first 4 books. Dunno if I can stand Nesta long enough to read ACOSF, so I wrote this with no information from ACOSF. Have fun.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) Whaaaaa...? I break my ongoing hiatus for this? Yep. I did. I hope a few more one-shots join this one, but I am making no promises. This one just came to me for about an hour so surprise! Happy August.

^^^^^ 

“Darker Shadows”

Azriel said nothing as he slipped through the door to our apartment, quiet and soft as the shadows surrounding him. I watched from the sitting room adjacent to the foyer. He must have known I was there—the shadows must have informed him—but he didn’t so much as look at me. Just rested his forehead on the door and sighed.

“Long day?” I asked.

He blinked his eyes open and turned. “Incredibly,” he replied.

I patted the sofa next to me, indicating he come sit.

Azriel’s shadows seemed to grow more numerous around him as he crossed to me. I realized why as his leathers thumped to the floor in his wake, leaving him in a light undershirt and undershorts.

No matter how long we lived together, he was always so modest.

Part of me wondered if it was more insecurity than modesty; but I would never invade his privacy that much to ask. He’d tell me when he was comfortable.

He hit the sofa cushion next to me hard. His wings barely missed getting caught behind him. Ever the precise, too. One arm and one wing wrapped over my shoulders. He was warm, even if his underclothes were cold from his sweat. I snuggled into his side. We both stared at the fire for a while.

“Did you eat up at the House?” I asked.

The shadows shrouding him retreated a little, going back to their usual shades. He glanced at me with those sharp hazel eyes before returning his gaze to the fire. “Yes. Rhys and Feyre were hosting a dinner for the Palace governors. A private celebration of rebuilding the city so quickly before the grand, public celebration in three days.”

I snorted. “Bet they loved that,” I said sarcastically. Among the family, it was well-known that Rhys and Feyre both hated formal parties and dinners with a fiery passion.

A glimmer of amusement joined the reflection of the flames in Azriel’s eyes. “Oh, they slipped out an hour in. I heard them in the library… having fun amongst the stacks. I left them to it and didn’t interrupt.”

I couldn’t stop the laughter that burst from my throat, but clamped it down hard to not disturb the neighbors.

Azriel held me tighter. “Would have been more enjoyable if you were there,” he said. His voice was soft, almost as though he didn’t actually want to admit it.

Reaching up, I cupped the side of his face. “Sorry I couldn’t go. I’d have liked to have been there.” I gestured to my wrapped leg. “I just don’t think I could handle a party today. If Rhysand had decided to host it three days from now with the rest of the celebrations, I would have been able to make it.” I made a face. “Sorry I missed it.”

“It’s alright. I understand.”

I reached around his wing to the end table, picking up my glass and handing it to him. He downed the rest and handed it back to me. I chuckled and set the glass on the coffee table instead.

After shuddering at the freezing chill of the water from my glass, Azriel turned to me. “How’s the pain?”

I shrugged. “Better than it was,” I said.

“At least you’re healing quickly.”

“Mmhmm.”

“How did you spend your night?”

I waved a vague hand to the small pile of books on the coffee table. “Just decided to read a little.”

“A little?” Azriel quoted. “You read five novels in four hours.”

“Oh, no. I didn’t finish them all. When I got bored I’d switch between them.”

“None of them holding your attention?”

“Not like they used to. Not since—”

The War with Hybern. Azriel knew. We all broke in some way over the course of it. I hadn’t had the attention span I used to since.

Azriel smiled at me. “Bathe, then bed?”

“Sounds great,” I replied.

He scooped me into his lap and stood up. I yelped at the sensation. My bad leg dangled looser than my good leg. My yelp earned me a twitched smile from my spymaster.

He carried me into the bathing room and sat me on the edge of the tub before turning it on. As it began to warm up and fill, he helped me unwrap my splint and undress. I returned the favor as best I could.

We bathed quickly and then got in our sleep clothes after drying off. After carrying me to bed, Azriel poked the point of my ear. “Goodnight,” he said softly.

I smiled, never able to contain my affection. “Sleep well,” I replied.

He doused the faelights and climbed under the covers.

We snuggled against each other. One of his wings draped over the both of us, keeping us warmer than the covers could. That warmth, his scent… it helped lull me to sleep. I could fall fast asleep on stone if Azriel was beside me.

—

Azriel watched his own scarred hand brush her nightshirt away from the skin of her back, revealing two sharp scars and an elaborate tattoo. Another rare Illyrian/High Fae hybrid, she’d been born with wings. Unlike Rhys, who could summon and desummon his wings at will, hers had been permanent.

Until her High Fae mother ordered her wings removed when she was still a child. Barely more than a toddler.

Azriel hadn’t met her until Rhys disappeared Under the Mountain. She’d been fifty-seven-years-old at the time. He’d seen her in the Rainbow, in one of the pottery studios, on a hot summer day. Her clothing revealed her back. The deep, disgustingly neat scars that made it clear how her wings had been taken from her, and the deep blue-black ink covering most of the exposed skin. She’d told him once she got it to both hide and show off the scars. When he’d asked why, she’d simply replied, “I’m stronger than the people who tried to hurt me.”

She hadn’t told him it was her mother—who’d wanted her to be a normal High Fae—for another decade.

He hadn’t been in love with her at the time. But during those fifty years everyone was stuck in Velaris, they became good friends. Azriel found her company much more peaceful than the other members of the Inner Circle. He loved them all—his family—but there was no harm, or shame, in being around someone who was quiet.

Then, a human girl broke Tamlin’s curse and Amarantha was dead. The High Lords and the members of their courts were released from Under the Mountain. And Rhys came home. And Azriel was both busier and freer than ever to spend time with his new friend.

He’d been so quietly pining for Morrigan for so long that, at first, he hadn’t realized the subject of his affections had changed.

During that final battle, when Prythian’s forces were spread so thin and even every reinforcement that came didn’t seem to make a dent… she’d taken a hit. A bad slash across the lower back.

And Azriel had seen red. His powers had already been mostly used up, his Siphons dim, and his wings badly injured.

But he’d gone to rescue her anyway.

His wings had screamed at him the entire flight back to a healer’s tent and then back to the battle. But during those moments, as she bled in his arms, he knew his feelings had transcended just friendship. “If we get out of this alive,” he’d said, “I’d like to treat you to dinner.”

She’d hummed, her side vibrating against his torso. “Mmm… dinner sounds nice. Afterwards, I can buy dessert.”

“We’ll see,” Azriel had said, smiling.

After they’d both healed and returned to Velaris, they’d done just that.

They’d been together ever since.

Azriel smiled at the memories.

—

“You’re staring,” I said quietly. His staring and touching had woken me.

“You’re incredible,” Azriel replied. “Have I told you that?”

“Today? No. This week? Many times.”

A soft chuckle. “So long as you know it.”

I rolled over so I was facing him. With his wing bent over both of us, I felt like I was in a sheet fort.

His eyes harbored a small glint in the half-light. I stared at him. “What is it?” His question was gentle.

I shrugged, feeling my scars pulling on my skin. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you,” he said.

“Charmer,” I teased.

That earned me a chuckle. Though his smile dropped after a moment. “Does it bother you?” He asked.

“What?”

“That you can’t fly?”

My humor disappeared. The phantom wings I still felt sometimes shivered in the back of my mind. “Sort of,” I replied. “I’d only barely taught myself how when Mother forced me to get them removed. It’s hard to miss what I didn’t really know. But I remember the wind over my scalp. My entire body fighting desperately to keep me aloft. I loved it. But now… now I get to fly with you and remember what it felt like. It’s not quite the same, but it’s enough for me.”

Azriel kissed my forehead. “Sorry I woke you,” he said.

“It’s okay. Any extra time I get to spend with you is worth it,” I replied with a smile.