#yes I know its a little jank but I am proud

[bokunospooky]

After much stress and many failed bends my computer is back online baybee

[inventors-fair]

Weird Commentary: Thanks

I would call this one of our most successful contests. Not every card was a gold standard, not every card made me squeal with glee, but every single one had love, thought, and heart put into them. I’m even more impressed with the fact that over 2/3 of contestants actually made their own art! As a not-artist myself, I understand how challenging that can be sometimes. I’m just having a moment where I’m proud of everyone.

Also, for this commentary, I’m trying something a little different. Tell me if you like it!

@3smuth​ — Burrow-Wing Amalgam

What I like: Besides the gorgeous art (look at the curve of the moon behind the wing!), the wording is great, and the abilities are well-rounded for an uncommon. I like how the flavor text builds up the “character” of the creature, making it seem more alive, and tying in to the abilities as well. That’s hard to do!

What we can improve: I find that the first ability giving it two mono-black abilities a little jarring. There are only two BG fliers in black-border canon, and that’s not to say that this couldn’t be added to that list, but it’s mildly off-putting; I kept thinking that this could be an Abzan card, maybe with G/W hybrid in the cost? But that’s entirely dependent on the environment. It’s hard to visualize one in which BG has an uncommon pseudo-flying beater, but it’s not to say that it’s impossible — just a hard sell.

Allison — Salheim, The Twisted Storm

What I like: This feels like a fun commander who would also be good in draft. A cheap body means that your spells can be small bodies that return at the start and huge potential bodies later. I like how it limits it to the first spell, so you can’t go infinite for less than ten mana with some other combo pieces. Honestly, this is a fantastic mechanical card.

What we can improve: There are a few grammatical mistakes to clean up, small pieces of Magic wording. “The” in the name should be lowercase, as should “Blue” and “Red” in the text box. “spells” should have a possessive apostrophe, and “it’s” shouldn’t. Don’t forget a period at the end before the quotation mark! I would also shorten the trigger: “...you may pay (X) [symbol], where X is that spell’s converted mana cost.”

@ceta-maelstrom​ — Camouflage Krasis

What I like: “Cat fish” is an awesome creature combo! Your art brings that across really well. With the new-ish arrival of Cat tribal and the rise in the creature type, I think that this is a welcome addition. I like the hexproof clause. It gives it a flavor of “as long as I’m small, I can’t be seen.”

What we can improve: Metamorph is a little hard to parse. Because of the “if” in the middle breaking up the sentence, I thought “it” referred to the creature entering the battlefield, and that that creature would get two counters. My mistake. Hm, how to reword it... “Whenever another nontoken creature enters the battlefield under your control, put two +1/+1 counters on this creature if it has no +1/+1 counters on it.” No, that’s a little awkward too... There can be a little more clarity. I think the mechanic is worth playing around with.

@dancepatternalpha​ — The Rat King

What I like: Simple, easy to understand, cool synergistic potential. I think this would be a fun build-around-me card. You mentioned something about Innistrad not having a rat king; would you believe they had one mechanically, in the form of Dark Imposter? I actually thought it was potential inspiration, different flavor.

What we can improve: Like Dark Imposter, I believe that the “all activated abilities” should be a separate line. When it comes to that, the similarities are a little stark, but I think the King distinguishes itself from the Imposter by its legendary status and the fact that it exiles your own creatures. I’m not getting a strong sense of either “ooze” or “construct,” though. “Ooze,” I would honestly just take off altogether. “Construct,” in Magic history, implies an artifact creature, something built by something else, and I’m not getting a sense of that either. “Noble” might be fun, if a little on the nose.

@dimestoretajic​ — Cryptizub, Steel Abomination

What I like: It’s certainly a limited beater, something that reminds me of Scuttling Doom Engine from back in the day. It can be incredibly powerful in the late game and can fit into any slot. Oof, give it lifelink? And you’re in good shape.

What we can improve: The first thing I got from this card that’s iffy is the name; it sounds like a legendary creature. “Steel Abomination” would be just fine. For the activated ability, I believe going off of Banshee’s oracle text, that you need to say “~ damage equal to its power to target creature, and damage equal to its power to you.” Not an absolute, but it’s one possibility. Don’t forget to italicize Threshold. The flavor text is a little on the nose. I would either shorten it or just leave it off. The card carries a world by itself as a magic beatstick.

@gollumni​ — Severed Stone-Seer

What I like: This is a card that would definitely get you a-head of the curve!..... Ahem. I think this card successfully fits into the world of Theros, with a little jank. The flavor text is really great. It’s a powerful card with a big butt. I can imagine this taking over games of limited quite easily.

What we can improve: Five toughness might be too powerful. A 3-mana 2/4 with deathtouch is pretty nasty as-is; at five toughness, stuff becomes a lot harder to remove. As much as I do like what you wrote here, I’m still having trouble fitting “Gorgon Hydra” into my mind as something reasonable, considering that the two have such distinct qualities already. “Gorgon Head” could be fine, maybe even “Hydra Head.” Both have great mythological flavor. Small note that I’m unsure of: would it be “create a token copy of” or “create a token that’s a copy of”?

@grornt​ — Carnivorous Multitusker

What I like: Yup, that’s a mutant boar hydra all right! It’s big, it’s bad, it’s green, it takes over games, and it’s a great bomb. This feels like a quintessential green creature right here, with the exception of the weird types. Maybe the Simic and the Gruul could come together to make something like this, yeah? I’d love to open this in a pack and/or add it to a starter deck. Wish it was powerful enough for Standard. Maybe it is, who knows? I like how your added aspects of both boars and hydras from Magic’s past.

What we can improve: This is a pedantic point, but I’d like to see “Mutant” at the end rather than the beginning. Aside from that, I think the flavor text, smirk-worthy as it is, doesn’t really add to the card or to the world. I’d rather see something like on Protean Hulk, a little more expanse. 

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Apex of Evolution

What I like: Wow, you really went all-out with the creature types, huh? I think that you used the mechanics pretty well to get the feeling of “a creature that grows from your experience and also eats other creatures to gain their strength.” It’s a build-around-me card that’s fun if you can beef it up.

What we can improve: Firstly, the flavor text pushes the card from “wordy” into “too much.” I love adding it where needed, but with this much text, and with this strong a mechanical focus, you don’t really need it. I feel that in this instance especially it doesn’t add anything that the card doesn’t already have. For the second ability, it should be a full if-clause: “If a creature dealt damage by ~ would die, exile it instead.” And the game already knows that those cards are imprinted “with it” so you don’t need to add that. For the last ability... That’s way too many clauses. “Apex of Evolution has all abilities of cards exiled with it.” It does add some baggage, yes, but most creatures won’t have those negative effects, and, well, that’s a risk of combat to take. This creature already makes combat complicated.

@ignorantturtlegaming​ — Fabled Fox

What I like: Cool art, and cool combo! I think that two creature types works well here; it’s a Fox, and it’s a Dragon, and that’s that. This seems like a card that, when it hits, can really get you ahead in a game. I like how the last ability implies a world with Fox tribal; that’s grokable.

What we can improve: There are a few things that this card has that it doesn’t necessarily need. The mana cost has no reason not to be 3WRG; why the doubling-up? I don’t really understand the blue restriction. Is this card a bomb, or a hate-card? I don’t feel that it needs to be both. In the Cycling part, don’t forget to add the cycling cost inside the reminder text and add a colon. I believe the last ability could be — and be mindful of the punctuation — “When you cycle ~, you may search your library for a Fox or Dragon card, reveal that card, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.” See Krosan Tusker. Small note: I believe the way that abilities go, it should be worded “Flying, lifelink, haste” in that order.

@industrialsalad​ — The Origin of Oddities

What I like: I find it a little hard to take seriously, but you went ham with the types here, and I love reading “Elder Vampire Sponge.” It’s an interesting take on fossils as a concept. I think that with the advent of ability word counters, this card could be a fun little build-around me. I also like how it can steal counters from your opponents’ permanents!

What we can improve: This card does not feel legendary. I understand that it’s “the origin,” but I mean more in terms of how Magic’s other legends feel, what this card brings to that set of established unspoken rules. Maybe some flavor text could have amended that, and it could definitely explain the Vampire type, which feels distinctly out of place, especially for a colorless artifact. Small grammatical notes: “Oddities’s” doesn’t need “’s,” and it should be “fewer than five” spelled out. 

@ishouldgetatumbler​ — Ash, Hydromorph Shaman

What I like: This is a distinct Simic feel! An elf shaman who becomes a hydra, who morphs themself into a mutant. Very nice. This is indeed a powerful card, and I think this is one of those legends that would be great in limited and in the other 99 in a commander deck. Or you could build around putting it into your hand! Fun stuff!

What we could improve: Not a lot to make better here. Firstly, though, this could be a rare in this day and age. It only brings it to hand, and you need to commit a fair amount for it to matter heavily. Small grammar notes: “counters on it” for the first ability, “its power” instead of “its,” and...that’s about it! Save it for a cube!

@jsands84​ — Dandylion

What I like: This was really close to being a runner-up. I love the types and how they come together, the use of a powerful hybrid card and the pushing of it to uncommon without it feeling OP, the use of spore counters, the aggressive P/T for limited, and man, there’s flavor in the fact that it doesn’t fog itself. It’s like, Everyone has allergies except for me! It’s super cool. Shoutout to @iguanamouth​.

What we can improve: Small notes. I think the name is a little cutesy for Magi, but that’s not a biggie, more of a personal quirk. I feel that “Cat Plant” parses better than “Plant Cat,” and maybe there’s alphabetical justification, idk. “Three” should be spelled out instead of “3.” I’d love to see flavor text here, just a line or so. Other than that, radical cat-ical!

@lyxine​ — Ahrizhel, the Wanderer

What I like: Now that’s a combo! It’s a bomb in limited to be sure, a great token-maker and legend to be reckoned with. I’ve always been a fan of Lure effects in green, even if they don’t always work out for me. Giving it to any creature you want is pretty neat.

What we can improve: My main concern is green fliers. I know that for dragons it’s an okay bend, but making more fliers as well? I think that’s too much of a bend; Hornet Queen is almost a break as-is, despite the massive cost. And the fact that this one can create 4-5 of them the turn after it hits the battlefield? That by itself is far too powerful. I would unfortunately call this one a break. Wording notes: “deathtouch” shouldn’t be capitalized, and there should be commas after the green mana symbols. The flavor text could use a little pizzaz, some more specific poetic words.

@mistershinyobject​ — Ludevic’s Familiar

What I like: That is indeed a weird zombie dog. The unique mechanical approach you took here is fascinating and experimental. It’s strange enough to warrant questions if it’s playable in certain formats. Modern Dog Mayhem? Hey, who knows. 

What we can improve: This is a weird targeting system, and I don’t know if it’s in the good way. The fact that you can pay BB for a redirect effect is potentially a break, but it makes sense otherwise. (B)(U/R) could have worked, perhaps? I’m not entirely sure why the hybrid was chosen in this way here. It’s probably for the best, honestly, but it’s still a little iffy for me. I like the flavor text in a memetic way, but a) I don’t think I can see Ludevic saying this and b) it really toes the line. I think it would be best not to have it, or to have more wordplay and not a quote. I would also put the types as “Dog Zombie Weird” personally, but there’s probably not precedent for it.

@nine-effing-hells​ — Chalkyri Resplendent

What I like: Bonus points for having me learn a new word and new creature type. I had no idea the name was an actual thing! It’s useful for getting something like this, I suppose, and you did an amazing job with the art and flavor text. This does indeed seem like an awesome angel serpent thing.

What we can improve: My main concern is giving the permanents hexproof. It works for white, but not RW multicolor, in my opinions. Seems a little too powerful, despite the flavor work-in. I’m 65% sure the wording should be “it’s not your turn” instead of “it isn’t your turn,” but don’t quote me on that. See oracle text on Angry Mob. Aside from that, this is a fine beat-worthy beast.

@real-aspen-hours​ — Octothreat

What I like: Octopuses and spiders go hand in hand in hand in — etc. This is a huge limited card that reminds me of Pelakka Wurm from Rise of the Eldrazi when it first came out: big beefy boy. I think that it would be an interesting card for sealed, a huge blowout, and a great body. Very powerful card. Oh man, blinking it? Lordy.

What we can improve: Most of what we can improve are minute wording things for presentation. Keep in mind that if you do a text submission, your wording is copied exactly. The types should be capitalized, there doesn’t need to be a period after “Trample,” and there should be a period at the end of “step.” Mechanically, the text should say “up to eight target creatures.”

@shakeszx — Wyrveplasm

What I like: A big oozy boy! This feels appropriately like a drake and appropriately like an ooze. It’s a complicated card that works just as well on its own as it would in a deck centered around it. And I think that mythic is the right choice here, honestly. This thing can run away with games.

What we can improve: ...except for the death loop. If it had no counters on it when it dies, then it creates a 0/0 who dies and creates a 0/0, ad infinitum. Infinite death triggers on a single card, well, that’s a no-no. So how do we fix it? Change the last ability: “When ~ dies, if it had any +1/+1 counters on it, create a token that’s a copy of it, except that token’s base power and toughness are equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on ~ when it died.” ... Okay, it’s not perfect, but the token wording is right and the “base” is there. Modern Magic, woo.

@snugz​ — Chronocular Bivalve

What I like: Chronocular is a brilliant word. This card was super close to being a runner-up/winner as well. This is a control card for limited to the max. It’s powerful, it’s super complicated, and it exists in a world of theoretical phasing that’s, well — I might not want to play in it, but I know people that would. Super cool.

What we can improve: Not much to improve here. “Non” shouldn’t be capitalized, and I’m not entirely sure what the point of that second ability is, but that’s just about it. Sorry there’s not a lot to say here, but you did a fine job and the card speaks for itself.

@starch255​ — Roving Squidtaur

What I like: It’s strong! It’s tentacled! It’s...got nipples? Squipples? Right, before I get any more sexually confused, let’s talk about the card. This is a world of sentient half-squid monstrosities. And I kind of love it. I think that mechanically you did some really neat things with this card. You included all aspects of the colors together, and they make for a three-colored beater that’s just plain good in the formats it would see play in.

What we can improve: I’m super bugged by vigilance in a way I shouldn’t be. Yes, I know it’s green, but it just feels...off?? Like, why is a berserker vigilant? I always got the impression that they would be more tramply, that they wouldn’t be as keen-eyed or direct. But that’s just me being weird. There’s nothing “””wrong””” with it. This one could definitely 10/10 have used some flavor text, though. I want to know more about this roving squid-person!

@tmstage​ — Bandicooze

What I like: Whoa! Yep, that’s a five-mana 3/3, but it’s a fine limited beater for its cost. Instant counters in the right deck and it’s good to go! I’ve only tangentially been connected with Crash games, but I get exactly how you tied it together nicely. This card just makes me smile.

What we can improve: I might make it a 4/3, or give it trample or haste or something. Aside from that... It’s a meme, and memes get what they deserve: a nice chuckle.

@whuh-oh​ — Arctic Narwhuck

What I like: The simple two-type “Whale Bird” aspect fits pretty well here. Other people did a diving/burrowing theme, and I think yours works well here. Four mana for a 3/2 flier with potential upside is pretty great in limited for an uncommon!

What we can improve: Islandwalk and landwalk in general hasn’t been in the game for a while, and I don’t know if this card needs that throwback. I get how it works flavorfully, and I like that part a lot. It’s just that modern sensibilities would let it just have hexproof. See Canopy Dragon’s oracle text as well; I think it gains things before it loses things. The flavor text is fine, but very vague, and doesn’t necessarily add to the card.

@woman-of-the-fen​ — Goldenhump Camelsaurus

What I like: Naya dinosaurs are always welcome! I also like the way you tied camels and deserts together to make a hybrid. The ape and rampage go together, I assume, and you conveyed that well in the art. 

What can be improved: Rampage, well, hasn’t been around for a while, just like landwalk, and for good reason. It’s simply not a great mechanic. I can see it working as a one-off in a Horizons set, but it’s still not the aspect I would have chosen. The first ability creates an infinite loop that lasts until the Camelsaurus dies; you fight, get dealt damage, then fight again, etc. Give it indestructible and it’s a boardwipe. Wait, and it creates an infinite loop; if it survives, then it’s forced to target itself. “Enrage — Whenever ~ is dealt damage, you may have it fight target creature you don’t control.” Still doesn’t fix the board-wipe issue. Might need to take this one back to the drawing board. For the flavor text, don’t forget that if you’re quoting someone, their name belongs on a separate line.

@wpandp​ — Apaprik Muster

What I like: Gosh darnit. Deviled eggs. C’mon man... I do love it, though. I like the concept of an egg filled with demonic creatures, imps and whatnot. It’s a scary thought! I like how you played around with mutate here. I personally don’t like mutate as a mechanic, but it’s not a huge issue. You used it well.

What can be improved: I’m still a little uncertain as to what world this card is inhabiting and what the name is implying. Why are devils and demons mutating? Why is “Muster,” an abstract noun, being used as the naming convention for an egg? Why does it have the food ability? I mean, I know, it’s all part of the play that this card is making, but it doesn’t really make mechanical sense.

~

Thank you all for your entries! Get ready to make cards for tomorrow.