#yes I come from the military but it's not where I want anyone to end up

[sol1056]

My father was the son of a carpenter (no HS degree) and a nurse (associate’s degree). His parents couldn’t afford college for him, but he scored high enough on college exams that a state school offered him a scholarship. He ended up enlisting for three reasons.

One, he lost his scholarship (D in history, geez, Dad). Two, with a draft afoot, enlisting was the only way to make sure he had any choice (however slim) in what he’d do and be. Three, the military paid for his bachelors, his master’s, and his doctorate -- and that education is what got him out of that small southern Georgia town and into teaching at some of the most prestigious universities on the US’ eastern seaboard. 

Enlisting has always been trade-off. If you come from middle class or higher, then you probably don’t need major financial assistance for your education, or a down-payment on a car or house. Even if you're legacy military, once your family’s middle-class, the tangible benefits aren’t as great, relatively.

But if your parents are farmers, factory workers, miners, or similar labor-intensive blue-collar workers and it’s looking like your only choice is to follow them down that same road or learn to be a waitress? The military has been, for several generations now, your best ticket out of a dead-end town, job, or life.

A lot of the time, it’s your only ticket.

The whole point of the GI Bill was to make enlisting worth the risk of dying in a foreign land for some rich man’s war. You put in so many years of your life and (assuming you survived), you'd walk out well-trained or even well-educated, with good job prospects and a social network of fellow former military to help you land softly. You’d have decent healthcare, a good pension, and access to a fair home loan. (And if you didn’t survive? The VA provides for children & widow/ers, so at least your family would see the benefits.)

Yes, to everything @johnbrownfunclubofficial and @natalieironside​ said above, because all of that is true. (Hell, it’s not much better when you’re a dependent, although the enlisted-wives and officer-wives bullshit is lot better than it used to be.) But it’s also true that depending on where you’re coming from, sometimes that trade-off is worth the price.

But we have to unpack that to see the real problem: we have no other consistent and reliable means for people to hoist themselves out of a lack of generational wealth or skills. There’s no broad-based funding for kids in poorer counties or states to get solid training or education (let alone with room & board provided plus a small stipend!).

The challenge of “if you want to do X, go learn how to do it” doesn’t work, if you’re coming from that far down. Learn it? From whom? And you pay for that training, how? And who pays for you while you do it? Education of any kind costs money and time. You may have the time, but without the money? It remains a pipedream.

Does the military take advantage of this? Absolutely. Blocking all other options for kids with minimal/limited prospects is by design. The US military complex absolutely wants those kids to see no way out except to hope they can survive that war in a foreign land fighting on behalf of rich men who couldn’t give a damn what those kids did, and will, sacrifice.

But now we come to a parallel truth.

This is a less-discussed but important contributing factor in the pushback on universal basic income. The Pentagon (and American imperialism and its wealthy cronies) are fully aware that, given any other choice, the average blue-collar, labor-raised, lower-class kid would not join the military. In short: basic income would cause enlistment to plummet.

It’s not difficult math. Beyond even the truth of the internal tyranny of the DoJ and the UCMJ and just the sheer madness of the insular culture known as ‘living on base’, most human beings prefer careers where “high chance of potentially being killed” is not in the job listing. And I’d be willing to bet an even larger number of human beings, given any other choice, would want nothing to do with a job that requires “potentially killing other human beings.”

As for those who would, they can just go be cops.

One time in Army we got into a big nerf gun fight inside our building and a bunch of people got really mad and decreed that all kinetic weapons including nerf guns fit the legal definition of firearms under the UCMJ and made us go secure our nerf guns in the armory.

I hid mine tho. I said this is goddamn America and we got a second ammendment.

[callofdudes]

So, uh, I was watching Bad Boys 2 with my dad and when the shootout scene happened and Marcus accidentally got shot in the ass I couldn’t help but wonder after I was done LMFAOing; how the COD boys (or the guys from 141 if you have a character limit) would react to and deal with having been shot in the ass? Especially if their S/O or best friend was there?

Ouchie ouchie. Here ya go anon! Sorry it took so long!

Getting shot in the ass.

Fucking humiliated.

First off, it hurt and oh boy he would not talk to anyone. If you're not in the immediate vicinity of medical attention he is going to have to be taken care of by one of you.

He'd probably trust either you or Price. He loves Johnny but not enough to touch his whole ass.

If you're his spouse you will 100% try to make jokes to calm him down, and it doesn't end up making it any better. Simon laying on his stomach writhing in pain while you've got him pantsed.

He's never speaking to any of you again. He'd rather be buried alive than have you bandaging his whole asscheek so he doesn't bleed everywhere.

"Are-fuck! Are you done yet!?" He growled, turning into a whine near the end because he's in pain. Come on man...

"Almost Simon, just hang in with me ok?"

He whines, and you continue to as gently as you can patch the wound. And like a meanie you're trying not to laugh the whole time.

When you're done you'll pat his butt gently and help him up. "Fuck you, and fuck that last 20 minutes of my life." He winces, attempting to stand.

"It's an occupational hazard y'know-"

"In my ass. MY BLOODY ARSE!"

"Well it's not bloody anymore...??"

Yeah he's never speaking to you. Or the others. He'll go back to that coffin where he was safe and his beautiful ass wasn't being threatened 24/7.

When you get back if you tell anyone he's suffocating you in your sleep. Not like the medical team will let him go. Surgery to get the bullet out of his arse and then was hurting for weeks.

Glaring constantly because now he has one of those butt pillows that you'd sit on after a BBL. And the recruits are bugging him because, "Got a lift Lt??" "Thought it was already big enough."

His arse is a point of contention for him and now he's being pointed out for the masses.

"You... You want me to help??"

"Nope." He dragged his leg, limping his way as blood spilled.

"You've uh, got a hole in your-"

"I'm very well aware!" He grimaced, trying to ease down on his side. "Other room." He demands.

"I can help-"

"OTHER ROOM."

"Yes sir."

You step away and let Price undo his belt and survey the damage himself. The last time he was bleeding from his arse his military dad was spanking him upside down and sideways.

By the time he realizes he's going to need a little help he's already regretting his life. He's nearly had his balls shot off before, this shouldn't be news to him, but also, why....

Begrudgingly he calls you back in after messing with it enough it hurts twice as much as before.

So you grab some bandages and get to work.

"Don't-"

"I'm very well aware of where my hands are going captain, you're fine."

"Gross."

"You're bleeding."

"Thank you for stating the obvious." He rubbed his forehead, sighing.

You feel less inclined to snicker at Price because the poor man is just trying to make a living fighting crime. He doesn't deserve this. His beautiful soft ass doesn't deserve this.

When you get back he is just wanting the bullet out by that point so he doesn't fight medical. They get the bullet out and he is taking painkillers like they're going out of style. (No, not in an unhealthy way)

Will probably stay between his room and his office. He wants to do work very badly and hasn't enjoyed sitting around doing nothing for long periods of time.

Can't wear his favorite pants now because they're tighter and the seam cuts right into the stitches. Sweatpants and butt pillow it is until he's out of this hell.

Most recruits know not to poke the bear, unlike you. Or Simon.

"Whew, that was close." You panted and looked at Johnny with relief. "No kidding." But as the adrenaline wore off, Johnny felt lightheaded, and fell to his side.

"Ow-" He winced, his leg feeling numb. You quickly rushed to him and looked him over. He wasn't shot anywhere... Oh. Oh, no never mind, yes he was.

"Johnny..."

"Yeah..?"

"You're shot."

Johnny followed your gaze and saw.

Surprisingly calm. Like, out of everyone he doesn't panic as much. Pulls up his shirt into his mouth and tells you to get it out.

You're hesitant because it's trying to pull a bullet out of someone's ass. And pulling a bullet out is never... Fun. But he trusts you, even if his cheeks are glaringly red from utter embarrassment.

But he doesn't want anyone else to do it for some reason, so you do your best.

Long story short, it did not go well. You ended up messing with the wound that his right ass cheek was so swollen. He looked like an idiot. Laying on his stomach in pain while waiting for Evac.

"I'm sorry..." You rubbed his shoulder.

You'd pulled his pants down further, while still being respectful. But man if he didn't look stupid, and it looked like it hurt. One cheek much bigger than the other, red and swollen.

Johnny promised to never get shot in the ass again. After he was put on bed rest because he had an infection. So uh... That was a fun adventure.

"Why the hell did you try to dig the bullet out of my ass??" He looked over at you when you visited him.

"You told me to do that! I told you it was a bad idea."

"Oh yeah..." He sniffled and crossed his arms, pouting his lip.

"Johnny.. come on, it'll get better."

"Well it can't get worse. Can it?"

"Ow!! Bloody- shit!" He slid down a wall and looked down at his side, expecting the stinging pain he felt to have hit his leg, he was dismayed to find the bullet had got him in the ass.

"Oh fucking of course!" He groaned and tried his best to hold something over the wound while still getting bullets pelted at him.

"How're we looking, sergeant??"

Kyle looked back briefly and then adjusted his gun. "Fine! But I've got a bloody hole in my arse!"

"Say again?"

Kyle groaned. Falling out of helicopters, getting shot in the ass, what was next huh?

"I've. Got. A. Bullet. In my ass!!"

Mortified when the others get to him and see he was not lying. Kyle must have just about the worst luck because what the hell is this?? They got him to medical and they did indeed confirm he had a bullet where the sun don't shine.

His perfect, pretty, unscarred butt was now about to be dug into to get a bullet out. How humiliating. He had bad stuff happen to him, but this he refused to talk about.

"How're... How're you feeling?" You asked after he came out of surgery. Still high on drugs, Kyle glared at you. "Don't even..."

"Don't what?" You snickered slightly.

"Oh fuck off..."

You smiled a little and sat down. "Hey, you'll recover. It sucks, but you've gotten through worse."

"Bullet in the ass."

"Had a bullet in the ass."

"It was still there at one point. That was my reality, y/n!"

You lovingly shushed him with a glass of water.

Kyle did not say a word about it. Even when he needed a pillow to help him sit after the surgery, he never pointed it out. And the others saw the look, if they said anything Kyle would drag them behind a shed and suffocate them with said pillow.

And therefore, for everyone's collective safety, it was never brought up.

[sweetbans29]

Long Way Home - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Part 2

Summary: Due to a huge miscommunication, Caitlin and your sister Kate are put through the worst week of their life (based on THIS request)

Warnings: angst my peeps (you asked for it), a happy ending

Word Count: 3.2k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN:

"I don't want you to go," Caitlin says, holding you against her. Your girlfriend of 2 years has not let you go for the last 3 days.

"That makes two of us," your older sister Kate says as she finishes making the three of you grilled cheeses.

Typically you would be the one to cook but since Caitlin had her arms around you 24/7 and the fact that you wouldn't be there pretty soon to make sure they are fed, you opted to let Kate take the lead in making food.

You were given your assignment a few days back and are about to head overseas. You knew this day was coming and so did your family and friends, but knowing never made it any easier.

Growing up, you knew you wanted to serve your country when you graduated high school. You knew when your elementary school hosted a day when active military staff and veterans came to your school for a service day. Your little third-grade self looked up to them and wanted to be them someday.

You went into the military right out of high school - going through training and then getting stationed only about twenty minutes out from where your older sister was going to college. It honestly was the best possible outcome for you starting off.

Kate meant the world to you. She's been your best friend since day one. Growing up people always thought the two of you were twins and honestly, you would have believed them. Kate is only 16 months older than you. The way your parents put you in school, Kate was a grade above you which kept the two of you close. The hardest year was when she went to college and you were stuck in your senior year of high school. The two of you would talk 24/7. She kept you updated on the transition from high school to college and you would keep her updated on your parents.

It was in Kate's sophomore year that Caitlin came onto the scene - Kate and she had become good friends as Kate took the freshman under her wing. You met Caitlin only a few weeks after Kate. You had some time in between training and your first post - deciding it would be fun to spend a few weeks with Kate. She introduced the two of you and it was like you had known each other your whole lives.

It was on that same trip that Caitlin asked you out, of course asking Kate for permission first. You didn't hesitate to say yes and the rest has been history. Caitlin's love for you hit hard right from the start and never stopped growing - you were the person to come into her life and opened her eyes as to why it hasn't worked with anyone else. Caitlin knew you were her end game.

Once you were stationed just outside of Iowa City, you moved in with Kate. Life was the best it had been in a while. You would go to all of Kate and Calitlin's home games and support them to the best of your ability. It was cool to get to meet more of their team, and they all loved you. How could they not? Kate and your apartment had been the hub for a lot of the team hangouts. It was a no-brainer since you had the best setup. Caitlin also practically lived there, which was also a pull as she would encourage the team since it meant she got to spend more time with you.

Slowly but surely Caitlin started bringing stuff over and found a home for it within your room. You not once complained seeing as she didn't really have much but knew how serious it was when she brought over her PS5 and her most worn basketball shoes.

"Are you sure it is okay that I am bringing all this stuff over?" She asks.

"I promise you, babe. It is perfect." You say and give her a smile.

"I just don't want to overstep," she says and you take hold of her shoulders.

"Hey - you know I don't make promises I don't mean," you say. She nods sheepishly. "I promise, this is exactly where you are meant to be." You reassure her.

When you found out you would be going overseas you had a sit-down conversation with Caitlin to break the news to her. She doesn't hide her frustration well but knows how much you pride yourself in serving your country. You tell her that when you go, she has to move in with Kate - not wanting either of your favorite people to be alone. You crack jokes with Caitlin about how she practically already lives there in an attempt to lighten the mood.

This brings it back to Kate making grilled cheeses with you sitting on the counter holding Caitlin.

"They are ready!" Kate yells in excitement over the perfectly cooked sandwiches. You grab a plate and immediately take a bite.

"Ahhh! Hot! Hot!" You say as you try to blow off the piece you had just taken a bite out, refusing to spit it out.

"Babe, you do that every time - will you ever learn?" Your girl teases you she grabs her own plate, blowing it off before taking a small bite herself.

"Hey, sometimes waiting is overrated." You say and go in for another bite. "Plus, when something is this good, if you could you would eat it in one bite."

The rest of the night is filled with light banter, cuddles from your girl, and another attempt at packing (which was quickly shut down when Caitlin held you captive on your bed, not allowing you to move).

Time moved faster than anyone would have liked as your send-off arrived. Your family came out, along with Caitlin and some of her team. They were there more as a support to Caitlin and Kate than to see you off but you were incredibly thankful for them.

You give hugs to your mom and dad first - they knew this day was coming and had much time to prepare yet still let out muffled sobs and final last-ditch pleas to stay.

You give hugs to all the girls who came in support of your two favorites and tell each and every one of them to watch over both Kate and Caitlin while you are away.

Kate is next. The two of you stand there embracing each other, neither of you saying anything knowing everything already. It is only before you release your sister that she whispers something in your ear.

"I've got her," Kate says and for the first time yet you feel a tear roll down your cheek. You wipe it away as fast as it appears, not wanting to make this any harder for anyone.

You whisper a thank you and release her - looking at her with the best smile you could muster up.

Finally, you turn to the love of your life. And runs into your embrace faster than you can brace for impact.

"I want to tell you not to go," she says with a sniffle. "But I know how much this means to you."

"I will be back before you know it," you say - trying to believe your own words. The truth is, you don't know when you will be back - this is an open-ended assignment which wasn't common in the military but due to where you are going is needed for the mission.

"I will call whenever I can and I will write," you tell her. "It will be our own little movie."

"Just come back to me, okay?" She says as your heart breaks hearing the desperation in her voice.

You separate from her just enough to reach down and grab her hand. A few months ago you had gotten her a dainty little ring embellished with diamonds for your anniversary. It was by no means an engagement ring or promise ring but in this moment it would have to do.

"I promise I'll come back to you," you say removing the band from her right hand and placing it on her ring finger. Caitlin knows to not take your promise lightly. She knows you would do anything to get back to her.

Both of you know that there is never a guarantee but the little gesture was enough for both of you to have faith in your promise.

You say your final goodbyes and before you know it you are off.

The first few months are hard as it is an adjustment for everyone. You Facetime Caitlin and Kate as much as you can - thankful that the wifi connection you had was stable. You told her as much as you could about where you were at, making sure not to disclose anything that would scare either of your girls. Kate would update you on the usual - this not being too far off from what her transition to college was. Caitlin on the other hand took the transition really hard, always crying in Kate's arms after the call ended. None of which was disclosed to you.

The next few months were harder as you were moved to a secondary location where the wifi was less stable - sometimes cutting out for a few weeks or more at a time. You sent letters to let them know you were doing okay even if a call didn't come. Every letter you would end with 'Slowly making my way back to you' then your signature. Caitlin would grip every word you wrote, most of the time falling asleep with them in her hand.

You were almost up to your year mark with no update on when you would be able to return home. They had moved you back to a base that had better wifi which was helpful in keeping up with Caitlin but still not as good at giving her a date when you would be home.

Caitlin was doing better and was able to keep her composure after calls with you. Whenever you would have a call with your girl, Kate would jump on towards the end of the call and tell you how Caitlin was really doing. Most of the time it would end with your girl getting frustrated with your sister for disclosing more than what was needed but you always appreciated it.

It was when things started to feel normal when it all hit the fan.

Kate and Caitlin had just finished their shoot-around before one of their home games and were about to head into the locker to get ready when one of the assistant coaches told them they needed to head to Coach Bluder's office immediately.

The two girls redirected to head to the office thinking it had to do with tonight's game. The sight they are met with is one that causes immediate confusion.

"Mom? Dad?" Kate asked, shocked to see her parents standing in her coach's office. Your mom is a wreck in the arms of your dad who has clearly shed his own fair share of tears. Coach Bluder looks like she has seen a ghost and tells Kate and Caitlin to take a seat.

"What's going on?" Caitlin says immediately feeling her stomach drop thinking there is only one reason they would be here.

"Why don't you two sit," Coach Bluder presses again.

"No, I think I would rather stand," Caitlin retorts. She is trying to tell herself if she doesn't give in to what they are asking then the news won't be real. Kate touches Caitlin's arm, starting to come to her own conclusions, and takes a seat.

Your dad is the first and only to speak.

"We got a visit this morning," he starts only looking into Caitlin's eyes. He refuses to look into his daughter's eyes, knowing he will not get through what needs to be said.

"There was an attack to which they said there were no survivors." He says as slow as molasses.

Caitlin just stares at him. Not yet has he mentioned your name or anything about you specifically which only prolongs reality.

Kate asks if they had to send you there to help out, then proceeds to ask if you are hurt. She doesn't understand why Mom is so torn up over that.

Your dad's eyes are still trained on Caitlin's, not breaking to look at Kate when she asks.

"It was her base-" Your dad barely gets out before Caitlin is countering.

"Bullshit," Caitlin says, not blinking twice. She refuses to believe the words coming from your dad's mouth. Normally this would have taken him back but under the circumstances, he was ready for any and all reactions.

That is when your mom cut in.

"They found her tags," she sniffles out. Before she is sobbing again she says, "Alongside an unidentifiable body."

"They are still searching, but they told us not to be hopeful." Your dad finishes as Kate breaks down like her mother.

Calitin on the other hand is completely numb. Her head is spinning and she feels like she is going to throw up. Before anyone can speak again, she runs out of the room.

She runs directly home, entering your once-shared apartment. She makes her way to your shared room and just stands in the doorway. She hadn't changed a single thing since you left, not wanting you to come home to a completely different place. That thought flies out the window when the pain settles in and the reality of you not returning hits her like a ton of bricks.

Caitlin's hands go swinging. Throwing anything she could get her hands on. By the time she is done, she is out of breath - the room looks like a tornado hit.

She finally falls to the floor - letting out the loudest cry.

Picking up one of your old Military sweatshirts, she puts it over her head and holds herself.

You on the other hand are sitting in the most uncomfortable plane imaginable - giddy to get back to surprise your two favorite girls. Your Leutienet set up a charter for you and a select other few to fly back to the States. It was something that only he and one other person knew about, not wanting news to get out.

You knew it was going to take you a long time to get back but with the three plane switches and delays due to equipment transfers - your 2 day trip quickly doubled.

It wasn't until day 4 that you were finally crossing back into US territory. Once your plane entered US airspace, your excitement grew even more. You knew there wasn't going to be any communication to anyone prior to your arrival which made the surprise that much more fun for you.

When you finally arrived at the base - you were met with a crowd of people. Confused, you started asking what happened. One of the captains pulled your group aside and let you know there was an attack and that they didn't know if you were a part of it or not.

It was hard to hear but you were so over the moon about seeing your sister and your girlfriend that you didn't think of the possibility of them thinking that you were a part of the bombing.

When you got in your rental - you thought it would be better to surprise them in person than give them a call. You want to see the joy in their eyes when they first hear your voice back home.

You make the drive to your apartment and park along the street. You are still in uniform as you walk up the steps of your apartment. It is the middle of the morning and expect both girls to be back from practice.

Unlocking the door you walk in.

All the blinds are closed and there are tissues everywhere. Food boxes are left on the table and counter, and most of the food is uneaten. You furrow your eyebrows as you see a sleeping Caitlin in Kate's lap. She looks absolutely sickly with her head being stroked by Kate as Kate's eyes try to adjust to the new light source entering their apartment.

The light is so bright that it takes her a few moments to make out the figure standing in the light as you.

"This isn't real," you hear Kate mumble. "You're not real."

You slowly close the door and make your way over to your sister. You were expecting excitement and happy tears and love as you walked in but were met with none of that.

"She's gone," Kate cries. "You're gone. This isn't real." She keeps saying over and over.

It is then when it hits you that everyone thought you were a part of the bombing.

You slowly make your way to your sister as you kneel in front of her and your still-sleeping girlfriend. Little to your knowledge, this was the first time that Kate was able to get Caitlin to sleep for more than 10 minutes before she ended up screaming your name and jolting awake.

Kate is so defeated that her hand doesn't even come up to try and touch you to see if you are real. She is so convinced she is hallucinating.

It is only when your hand comes up and touches her face that she lets out a gasp and a sob. She cries out your name, waking Caitlin.

Caitlin blinks a few times while she sits up. Her hands come to rub her eyes, trying to get them to unblur from all the built-up tears that had fallen.

She smells you before she sees you. Feeling a sense of peace wash over her before more tears are falling. She still hasn't seen you kneeling right in front of her. Kate is sobbing into a pillow - in shock at who is before her.

Your hand comes up to Caitlin's and she jumps, removing it from yours. Tears begin to roll down your face as you can't imagine the living hell she has been through these last few days.

"Caitlin," you say in the gentlest tone. Her head whips up, eyes finally meeting yours.

At first, her eyes flash with rage. Not rage at you but rage at herself for initially believing you are there. They are then in shock - not comprehending the sight in front of her. Her heart stops as she says your name.

Your hands come to her face as you caress both of her cheeks.

"They said you were gone," Caitlin says in disbelief. tears streaming down her face as her hands come up to yours. "They found your tags." Caitlin really doesn't know what to say. She still doesn't believe you're in front of her until she hears you speak again.

"I promised I would come back to you, when have I ever broken a promise?" You say as you bring her in for a kiss.

AN: Welp here it is - let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[evilwickedme]

I keep seeing news that Israel has rejected a ceasefire deal from Hamas and/or that Hamas has rejected a ceasefire deal from Israel, and I'm having a very hard time keeping up with what's true, what terms have been rejected by who, and how ceasefire negotiations have been going in general. Do you have any information you could share or sources you could direct me to that would give this kind of news in an unbiased way? I think that saying that either side rejected a deal without explaining what parts of the terms were not agreed with is dishonest and I hate that I keep seeing it.

Thanks and I hope you're well and safe.

I'm not going to source this with anything specific cause my job is in the news so I'm just doing this off the cuff while literally on the bus there lmao

Both sides are in fact constantly rejecting ceasefire deals, for their own reasons. Some scattered thoughts from the last several months of coverage

One of the biggest points is ending the war. Hamas keeps going back and forth on this but is mostly insisting that even for the first, humanitarian stage of the hostage/ceasefire deal Israel must agree to take out all of its troops and essentially leave Hamas to remain the ruling party in the Gaza strip

This is essentially the only hard no on Israel's side. Netanyahu especially refuses to end the war without a military victory that essentially is impossible to get without entering Rafah (and in my opinion is currently impossible to achieve at all). There is a willingness to pause the war in exchange for the hostages up to a certain degree, but there simply isn't a chance that Israel is going to give up on defeating the remaining Hamas military divisions in Rafah and hopefully killing Sinwar

A lot of the problem is that Hamas will present a deal that Israel finds unacceptable, Israel will take time to deliberate, come up with a middle ground, and then Hamas will actually make a worse offer in return. A lot of things that Israel is currently putting on the table were things Hamas originally requested and was willing to be on those terms, but now they want things that are even further from Israel's interests.

For example, at first Hamas was asking for women and children to be allowed to go back to northern Gaza. Now they are asking for the entire civilian population to return to northern Gaza... And for Israel to not even check that no Hamas agents are going back up north, where there are still many rocket launchers that were never found. Personally I would like that not to happen, as I would like rockets to not be launched at me. Maybe that's a lot to ask, idk

Another example is the fact that at first Hamas asked for a certain number of terrorists to be freed, but that about a third of them (iirc) would be picked by Hamas, with no veto power given to Israel. The offer currently on the table gives Israel no veto power at all, and unlike the deal from November where Israel only freed terrorists who failed to kill anyone, this time Israel will be required to pretty much exclusively free murderers.

The truth is Hamas has very little interest in a hostage deal. They don't want the terrorists in Israeli prisons as much as we want the hostages that are, according to current intelligence, being used as human shields, many of them surrounding Sinwar at all times. The first hostage deal led to humanitarian aid being brought into Gaza, which due to Israeli negligence has been taken over by Hamas; aid is being increased (although not enough) with no "return on investment" so to speak for Israel.

(sidenote: yes, there is not enough aid entering Gaza. Also, a lot of the aid is being taken by Hamas officials, with the remains being sold at outrageous prices to the refugees. Shit is bad from all directions here)

Meanwhile, the IDF has essentially pulled all its soldiers out of Gaza. There are currently only two military divisions in Gaza iirc, and they're mostly just staying there with not much happening. The current attack on Rafah is "small scale", and comes as a direct result of rockets being shot at south Israel on Sunday, resulting in several people being grievously injured. Overall, not much military action is happening, meaning that, for example, agreeing to cease military activities in Gaza is relatively unimportant to Hamas rn (emphasis on to Hamas).

And another truth is netanyahu ALSO doesn't want a ceasefire. The moment this war ends the public will demand an election (hell, a THIRD of the public is demanding an election NOW, before the end of the war), and he has lost many of his more casual voters. He will be forced out of the government either by his party or by the voters, and netanyahu wants power over all else, fuck the hostages.

He doesn't WANT to answer for his actions in front of his citizens. It's no coincidence that he is willing to be interviewed by the foreign press but no Israeli papers or channels; it's no coincidence that he refuses to allow the Israeli negotiators to come up creative solutions, instead giving them extreme restrictions. And his absolute refusal to even acknowledging the possible existence of a future Palestinian state is going to fuck Israel over in unimaginable ways

In short, fuck Hamas, fuck Netanyahu and the current extreme right wing government, #bringthemhome #freegazafromhamas and #ceasefirenow

As usual, I recommend a mix of Haaretz, the NYT, and the wall street journal as my favorite although never unbiased journalism on i/p. It is so important that we all understand that nobody is unbiased about any political issue, including me, and especially not about Israel and Palestine. It is an extremely charged subject that is best parsed out by reading from a variety of sources, and always noting that if something is only quoted or referenced by sources from one "side", it's frankly probably not true.

I hope for the best, and may this nightmare end as soon as possible

[karlachismylife]

Totally self indulgent but how would they help take care of a chronically ill partner? (Poly if you don't mind)

((also yes I am having a bad day))

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a bad day, baby, I wish I could be there to help you through it :( These speedrun headcanons just for you are the least I could do, of course. I tried to keep it general enough without making it about any particular disease, because at the end of the day, whatever you're going through, they will be there for you no matter what.

CW: gn!reader with unspecified chronic illness, thus mentions of medical themes, medications, treatments, doctors and some things our bodies go through, symptoms and such. Also some controlling/soft dom/caretaker behaviour I guess, but without dabbling into CGL territory. Last paragraph is suggestive, but not explicit.

So, with any chronic disease, there are better days and worse days, ups and downs, and sometimes bad days happen unpredictably, sometimes you can kinda feel them coming, sometimes you just know that whatever you just did, be it going out all night for the concert of your favourite music band or just spoiling yourself with food you know will fuck you up but tastes too good to pass - and throughout all that your four partners stay attentive and vigilant.

Each and every one of them (even Soap, however unlikely) knows the importance of routine. They're military, they have no problem adhering to the same set of regular actions - as well as reacting to sudden changes and giving immediate appropriate response. Honestly, they're pretty damn good as caretakers, once they get clear in structions on what needs to be done.

Price goes with you to doctor appointments and all the treatment you need outside home. He's driving you there, waiting at the door (maybe eavesdropping while he pretends to fall asleep in the uncomfortable chair with his chin tucked and his hat laying in his lap. maybe actually falling asleep and waking up with horrifying neck cracking), asking a hundred questions after the doctor lets you out - to the point where it starts to look more like an interrogation. He does want to know everything, though, since only with full information on hands he can assess the situation and work out a plan of action. He wants to know what's the status, what meds you need to take and for what, how often, what side effects are possible, what else needs to be done - he makes your doctor give him a full on lecture, even if you already explaind half of that to them all previously. After he gets what he wanted from the poor medic, he still pulls on some strings to get you seen by specialists he's confident in. Sure, your doc might've been treating you for god knows how long, but a second (a third and maybe even fourth) opinion won't hurt, right?

Ghost gets your (and everyone else's, because Price fucked up his joints and spine more times than it's acceptable, Gaz has allergies and Soap needs his adderall. Ghost himself takes half of the pharmacy's supply, poor guy's messed up in all kinds of way) meds and also makes sure you and the boys take them regularly, especially if they're the type to be taken strictly on time. He brings your morning pills to you in bed with water and a little sandwich if you need to take them not on empty stomach, and if he has to be out at the time you need them, he always sends you a reminder - and expects you to report to him quickly, otherwise he's calling you and then one of the guys that can come and make sure you're being good. If you're having a bad head day and can't make yourself take these fucking pills that can't even "fix" you (or whatever bad thoughts you're having), Simon's going extremely soft - he just sits next to you and feeds you one pill after another, kissing you for every one you swallow, and then does same with his stash, "demanding" rewarding kisses from you with an adorably serious face. He knows better than anyone how much needing to do this every damn day can fuck with your mind, so he's patient, but he can't let you neglect yourself.

(Soap gets no such treatment, if that little shit tries to wiggle his way out of taking his meds, they get shoved into his mouth. He still gets his rewarding kiss, though, with Ghost's steel grip on his jaw, and this honestly looks like Simon tries to kill him via sucking his internal organs out of his mouth. Mind end up sucking something else-)

Gaz is just steadily making everything he can as accomodating as possible. If your headaches make you sensitive to smells, he makes sure nothing in the house can cause a bad reaction, he watches everyone's allergies, buys groceries to fit your diet and makes sure other products like soap or cleaning supplies won't be bad to you. He's the one who will find non-constraining clothes out of fabric that won't irritate your body - very stylish and just how you lik them, he's looking into furniture and appliances that can make it easier to deal with if you're in pain or can't hold shit properly because of joint pain (not only for you, Price and Ghost both get days when their knuckles hurt LIKE HELL). He might've had experience caring for a relative, or maybe he's just extremely good at research, but he just comes up with solutions you didn't even know could help.

Soap is the service dog. He's ready to run any errand, pick up every task you give him, provide immediate help as soon as you call for him. He's cuddling you through flares, fetching blankets or tea, literally catching you if you suddenly get a horrible cramp and fold in half. This man will go to the bathroom with you and keep you steady while you throw up, or literally kneel on the tile floor and wipe your tears if you get really bad bowel problems. He's seen people get shredded into pieces and watched their internal organs become external, he won't be put off by anything a human body can do. None of them will, to be honest, but Soap is just always the first to hold your hand through whatever hell you're going through.

But the other thing Soap does - is make you feel normal. He's not tiptoeing around you, treating you like a fragile doll that can't be played with, no; he'll fucking prank you, tease you, rile you up and haunt you as long as it makes you smile and helps you forget about that thing that impacts you every day while other people get to live without it. He's your personal hospital clown, and honestly, if you need to go to hospital, he might actually sneak inside in a clown costume (how the fuck did no one see and stop a huge ass man with a honking red nose and rainbow onesie walking through the corridors?) and entertain you. His family never let him feel like he was different despite the obvious struggles he faced with his ADHD (that wasn't diagnosed straight away too and went unmedicated for quite some time), and he'd rather die than let you feel like you're missing out on all the fun life has to offer because some days you can't even leave your bed as your body acts out.

They watch your diet and find ways to make it as diverse as possible, no matter how limited it is. Gaz is the one who makes groceries lists and often goes shopping, but all four of them take turns cooking (a man's place is in the kitchen, even if it gets cramped with all four of these dudes there) and experimenting with food. Gaz is the best cook by far, and the second to best is surprisingly Soap! Price actually isn't all that inventive in the kitchen (he just knows what he likes and doesn't venture out much, but what he does he does well), and Ghost... his main culinary innovations are in the stupid smiley faces and skulls he makes out of everything. How did he manage that with soup? I dunno, ask him.

They know your patterns and habits, sometimes they can tell the illness will flare before even you do, from the subtle changes in your appearance or behaviour. Maybe you're sweating just a little too much today and Gaz saw the stains on your shirt while doing the laundry, or your heartrate is off under Ghost's sharp ear as he nestles into his favourite place in the world - your arms. Perhaps Price noticed you ate not enough of your breakfast or Soap grabs your hand and feels it's colder than should be.

First thing they do is check in with you - Ghost is extremely straightforward and demanding about it, making you recite what you did recently that could cause a flare and asking you all about how you're feeling; Soap slips into worry immediately and starts with a question what he can do for you. Gaz goes a sly route, tugging you away from whatever you were doing, snuggling with you on the bed or the couch and peppering you with kisses, purring into your ear sweet nothings mixed with questions until he coaxes all the information from you. Price doesn't even ask at first: he immediately goes into action, the most basic care provided before he even says anything.

They do listen to you, though. If you're not feeling the worst and don't need immediate help, they just stay around to watch after you, but always communicate to others that extra care might come in handy today. Probably still try to convince you to go easy with your tasks, be it studying, work or chores, and help with whatever they can.

However, if it is bad, you kinda lose autonomy. Work? Forget about it. Chores are on them for the next week, no exceptions. You're lifted off your feet and brought to bed by Soap, everything arranged into a comfortable way by Gaz by the time they carefully lower you there. If you need to sit up to lessen the symptoms, they put pillows behind your back, but Soap prefers when he can cradle you against his chest and serve as a heat pillow himself - especially if his hot hands can make tummy or joint pain better. But if heat is the thing you don't need at all, he'll stay next to you, ready to jump at your first word.

Meds and water in Ghost's hand, waiting for you to take them patiently. While Price takes care of your unfinished business (and makes sure you won't go to work/school/uni next few days), Gaz ensures your body is taken care of - maybe you need a gentle massage or just sweat and teares wiped off, he's there, cooing at you and kissing your skin gently.

If you need bathroom, you're getting carried there, but if it's just to throw up, Soap's already got a bucket at the ready, and he and Gaz will support your body through the nausea, another glass of water appearing with silent Ghost by the end of it.

You're getting all the entertainment you want: Gaz and Soap will only be happy if you want to play computer games with them (or, if you can't, you can just watch them, and they'll goof around to keep your mind off your state). You want to continue that book you're reading, but it's hard to hold it and your eyes hurt? No audiobooks while you have Price there, he'll read you aloud. A movie? Hell yeah they'll all gather around with whatever snacks you can digest at the moment and watch whatever you want (and if Ghost or Price fall asleep, you can prank them via Sergeants' proxy).

Some other little things:

They all either quit smoking or make sure it doesn't affect you even with the smell.

Price keeps on top of all your vaccines and screenings. Don't even need to remember them, he can wake up in the middle of the night and recite all of the needed information. Can get quite strict and controlling if you try to get out of appointments - and also spends almost unhealthy amount of time reseatching what else can be done, including trying all kinds of experimental treatments and some not even fully scientific ones (like acupuncture. who fucking knows, eh?)

Ghost is the best out of all of your men to confide in when the illness takes toll on your mental health. He knows what drowning in your mind feels like, and he'll be there to reach out a hand and keep you afloat. He's actually good with words on these topics, and his voice grounds you - but if you need silent companionship or a firm chest to sob into, he can provide that too.

Soap actually often gets angry about your condition - not at you, of course, but the sheer unfairness of his beloved person suffering with no end, no matter how much all four boys do for you, weighs on him. The others might have caught him actually crying in the middle of letting steam off in the gym, he hates being powerless against a fucking disease.

Gaz loves when you let him take care of your body and appearance. Be it simply helping you take a bath/shower, shaving if you want but can't manage, brushing your hair for you, massaging oils, lotions or ointments into your skin... if you feel self-conscious about your appearance on flare days, he will obviously reassure you with other boys (as if they wouldn't love you in any condition, for fuck's sake, they're here because you make them feel the happiest they've ever been, not because you look like a model 24/7), but if it will make you feel better, he'll help you with a nice hairdo that won't burden your scalp, dress you up prettily, helping you put on every clothing piece with reverent kisses along the way, and do your makeup if you do it. Will he join you in all that and get all pretty too? Hell yeah! Might even catch Soap and get him dolled up too.

And finally, you won't find more accommodating people for intimacy. Whatever your limits are, they're never crossing them, choosing positions you won't feel uncomfortable in, being careful not to overwhelm you, discussing everything you want to try in sex with possible complications in mind. They're fine not doing anything at all; they're fine with doing no penetration; they're fine with extensive foreplay... definitely using all kinds of devices to make the experience better for you. Potentially asking your doctor questions on what's okay and what's not, even if you're screaming not to, lol.

They just love you, and they're ready to take everything off your shoulders as soon as you need it.

Hope you feel better soon, lovie <3

[sansaorgana]

I 👏🏻 need 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 part 2 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 buck and bucky poly fic 👏🏻. Where they are reunioned after the war and the reader takes care of our traumatized boys

hii! 🙈 sorry for making you wait so long! this time I didn't chicken out and delivered a full smut 😘

[ PART ONE ] || [ PART THREE ]

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

When Buck had been leaving you, you had only thought of two possibilities – him finishing his twenty five missions as fast as he could and coming back to you before Christmas or him dying there. That he would go down and end up in a POW camp until the end of the war… You simply had not predicted. In fact, you hadn’t even thought of such a possibility and it was dreadful because all you had been doing was to wait. Wait, wait, wait… Every day and every night. God only knew how long the war would last but at least he was safer in that camp than flying over German heads. And – most importantly – Bucky was with him. Your two boys together.

You still remembered the night before Bucky’s departure. How could you ever forget? It had changed everything between the three of you. At first, you had wanted to forget and move on, hoping that once your desire had been fulfilled, you would no longer crave him. But that had been not the case. And a few weeks after Gale’s departure, your boyfriend had asked you two things – to marry him and for you to start writing letters to Bucky as well because his best friend had been lonely and he had no one to write to him; no one to fight and come back for. That had been an odd combination of questions but to the both of them you had answered – yes.

In the meantime, you moved out of the room you had been renting. One of your friends had become a war widow and you moved in with her to the house she had shared with her late husband. She had quickly remarried and moved in with her new man, allowing you to stay in the old house – you didn’t have to pay the rent, just the bills. And in return, you were taking care of the place in case she wanted to sell it or for her children to take it over one day. She had become a war widow and a married woman again and all this time you had been patiently waiting.

And now, when the new summer was just around the corner, they were coming back. You had prepared the house for their arrival, knowing they were supposed to go back to The States together. And on the very next day they were to come to you. Since you were not married to Buck yet, it would already cause quite a gossip if he stayed over. And him bringing a friend, too? Quite a scandal. But you didn’t care. God almighty, they had survived the war, they had survived hell��� And you were supposed to care about small town gossip? No.

You had prepared a separate room for Bucky in the guest room downstairs. And while putting the sheets on, you wondered what it would be when they are back. Awkward, surely. The letters you had been exchanging with Bucky were… Not as innocent as you had imagined them to be at first. You wondered if Buck knew. 

You had bought a new dress for their arrival – delicate and feminine fabric with a flower pattern. Pearl earrings and an apron to make sure you wouldn’t get the new dress dirty as you baked a cherry pie for them. You didn’t invite anyone, it was no party. You didn’t have many friends in this town and the boys were coming from different states than you. There was no one to invite but you still wanted to greet them nicely.

You heard a car outside and took the apron off to hang it on the wall as you looked out of the window and you spotted a military car parking outside. Buck and Bucky left it with their small bags and they said goodbye to their friends inside before looking at each other and taking deep breaths in. Your heart pounded in your chest – it felt nearly unreal to see them again… Both alive and both in one piece each even though even from afar you could see that their faces… Their faces looked older, more tired. Their eyes lost the sparkle but you didn’t mind – how could you? And you hadn’t been expecting anything different. In fact, you had gotten older, too. And all that worrying, it had an effect on the way you looked as well.

You hurried to the hall and opened the front door shyly as they both looked in your direction. You were aware that some of your neighbours were watching behind their windows so you had to act carefully.

You ran out straight into Gale’s arms, crashing with him with all force, nearly knocking him down as Bucky chuckled. Gale lifted you up and spun you around, covering your face in dozens of tiny, sweet kisses and you cupped his cheeks as you examined his own face with your teary eyes. There were tiny scars scattered all over and you kissed them all before kissing his nose and eyelids, his lips.

“You’re back,” you breathed out finally, the very first words spoken between you two.

And then you looked at Bucky and you wished you could do the same to him. But you just gave him a stiff hug and patted his back. 

“You’re back,” you told him with a nod of your head and he nodded as well, awkwardly. His eyes longed to touch you and greet you properly but you were exposed outside. And even inside, it just felt wrong.

You were his best friend’s fiancée… The night before his departure, the letters… He still had not been sure what they meant. Perhaps they existed out of pity or as a treat, nothing more. And Buck was just very considerate and kind to share… But only a little. At the camp, they had been talking about you as if you were theirs and they had been doing things that solidified the odd, sinful union – sharing your letters and your pictures, telling each other sweet and spicy fantasies about you. But still… It was Buck who had been dating you first and it was Buck who had proposed to you. And now they were back and they didn’t need to desperately hang on to things to survive, so… Buck could be less eager to share you now. And Bucky would understand that but he still wanted to try his shot whenever the occasion would show up.

You all walked inside and you closed the door behind you, finally being alone in the privacy of your house.

“The bathtub is in the bathroom upstairs,” you told them. “Bucky’s bedroom is here, the door on the left down the corridor. Please, unpack yourselves, change your clothes. I will finish preparing food, okay?” You asked, not knowing what to do.

Not only with Bucky it was awkward but with Buck, too. How much did he know? And why did he feel so… Strange? Like you had never met him before. You still felt comfortable around him and your heart was still full of love at the sight of him but he now knew about the horrors you would never comprehend and that was creating a wall between you two.

They nodded at you and you left them to go back to the kitchen. You put the apron back on and started to work on the salad as the dinner you had prepared earlier was reheating.

Bucky was done first. He walked downstairs from the bathroom and joined you in the kitchen. At first, he leaned on the doorframe and then he cleared his throat to let you know about his presence and walked up to you, putting his hands around your waist and leaning down to put his chin on your shoulder before placing a kiss upon your cheek. Your heart pounded in your chest but his touch was more than welcome. God, you had been missing him.

“Thank you for all your letters,” he breathed out into your ear. “They saved me.”

“Thank you for staying alive and coming back to me,” you whispered back and he grabbed your wrist as he furrowed his brows at the ring on your finger. “I bought it for myself at the pawn shop,” you explained. “After I sent the letter to Buck where I agreed to marry him.”

“And the second letter was for me,” Bucky hummed to himself.

You were interrupted by Gale clearing his throat now and you got startled, moving away from Bucky’s arms. He let go of you but he kept standing there as if nothing had happened. Gale approached you two and now it was his turn to put his hands on your waist as he leaned in to kiss the crook of your neck.

“You look beautiful, my darling,” he told you. “I love your dress.”

“And the ring?” Bucky asked. “Have you seen the ring she bought herself at the pawn shop, pretending it was from you?” He lifted your hand and Buck took it from him gently as he examined the piece of jewellery.

“It’s stunning, my love. But I feel bad that you had to buy it yourself,” he placed a kiss upon it.

“It’s fine. At least I chose a ring that I like,” you shrugged your arms. “So many women are gifted rings that they don't really like,” you added with a chuckle and swallowed thickly at the awkwardness of the situation.

“I just thanked our girl for the letters she sent me. They saved me,” Bucky brought that up again and you felt your cheeks heating up at the way he called you their girl. There was no reaction from Buck whatsoever… You had a feeling they had already discussed it before.

“Your beautiful letters saved us both, my darling,” Buck nodded and leaned in to place a kiss under your ear. “We exchanged them often. And the pictures you sent us. Everything,” he murmured into your ear.

“You saved me, too, to be fair,” Bucky told him.

“And you saved me,” Gale smiled gently, you felt his lips curving on your delicate skin.

The timer in the oven went off, interrupting the scene. You cleared your throat and moved out of Buck’s arms.

“Dinner’s ready,” you announced.

During dinner, the boys were telling you stories from the war and the camp that they hadn’t been able to tell you in their letters. Of course they were not all the stories and they were told chaotically but you didn’t mind that. Your heart was aching for them – especially in the moments when their voices were shivering and eyes watering. But what you had noticed was that they had truly survived all of this because they were together and it was making you happy that they had been taking care of each other.

They insisted on washing the dishes so you left the kitchen to them and you went to the bathroom to prepare yourself for bed now. You would go to sleep earlier on that day because they both had been exhausted.

You changed into a white nightgown and brushed your hair and teeth before putting a perfumed lotion all over your body. You went to your bedroom and saw Buck’s bags on the chair, still unpacked. You sighed and began unpacking them to put them in your wardrobe – your friend from whom you rented the house allowed him to stay for some time until you get married and move out. She just didn’t know about Bucky…

But what about Bucky? Would he leave in a few days? Or would he stay? You had no idea. It was all a mess.

Once you were done with Gale’s things, you went to your bed and waited for him. He entered the bedroom with a soft smile but he left the door ajar. He changed into his pyjamas and joined you in the bed. You opened your arms for him to lay his head on your chest as you played with his hair. He needed comfort and warmth and you loved to give it to him but you also felt guilty because you had a feeling Bucky needed it, too.

“Your scars…” You started softly and he looked up like a hurt puppy. “They make you look even more beautiful, my love,” you assured him and caressed the exposed side of his face gently. “They make me so proud to be your woman.”

He didn’t say anything but he moved up a little to kiss your chest and then your neck while you rubbed his back in a soothing manner. And then you saw Bucky in his pyjamas leaving the bathroom and about to walk downstairs to his bedroom but he stopped and turned around to look at you and Buck. And he kept standing and looking for a long while until you parted your lips to say something but didn’t know what.

Buck noticed that something was wrong and he looked around. He spotted his best friend staring through the ajar door and he waved his hand over.

“Come,” he said and Bucky took a deep breath before joining you in the bedroom. He closed the door behind him – you weren’t waiting for anyone else.

“Come,” you said, too, as you moved a little to make more space in the bed on your other side.

Bucky nodded and got under the cover with you, pressing his face to the crook of your neck and breathing in your scent. He was trembling slightly and you realised how much he needed your comfort as well. You wrapped your arms around him now and pressed a kiss upon his forehead but Buck didn’t want to be abandoned as he attacked your neck with his wet and soft kisses on the other side. You put one of your arms around him and the other was still kept around Bucky, whose hands started to roam around your waist, pulling your nightgown up.

Gale’s kisses were making you shiver as his own hands squeezed your breasts. You moaned at the feeling – after nearly two years of being lonely and waiting, you had two men being all over you and it felt heavenly. Once again, desire and affection outcasted your shame and guilt. Was it really so wrong? Were you hurting anybody? 

In no time your nightgown was both pulled down to reveal your breasts – with your nipples perky from the cold air and stimulation – and pushed up to give them access to your wet folds. Buck’s lips were attached to your breasts as his fingers drew circles on your clit. Bucky’s mouth was all over your jaw and neck now as his long, slim fingers were fucking you in a fast and steady rhythm. Their muffled moans accompanied your whimpers of pleasure. You felt like their doll to play with and they were so touch-starved and hungry that all they wanted was to touch and feel you – nearly greedily and surely desperately.

All the fantasies they had been having about you, telling each other dirty stories, reading each other’s dirty letters you had been sending… They remembered them all now, finally being able to touch and pleasure you as if they had already forgotten you were a real person and not just a woman from their fantasy. But you were real indeed and they could finally touch you. They were both hard at the feeling of your skin, your every curve, every whine and whimper, every spasm going through your body between them. And as much as they wanted their pleasure, too – they were sure you would give it to them, they had a whole night for that, whole life perhaps. They weren’t impatient now, not at all. They were worshipping their goddess and nothing was more important than that.

With a loud moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head, toes curling and an arched back, you came hard as they kept caressing and stimulating you through your high, shushing you softly, until you slowly came back to reality.

“I…” You started, not knowing what to say but they didn’t let you finish. Bucky kissed you greedily, pushing his tongue deep inside your mouth and grabbing your face that was hot to touch after your orgasm.

When he let go of you to catch a breath, Buck turned your face to his side to kiss you the same and you felt a knot forming in your abdomen again from their greediness and neediness.

“I want to taste you,” Bucky whispered and you nodded, unsurely looking at Buck but he didn’t seem to mind. You opened your legs even further as Bucky pushed the cover aside and went down to disappear between your legs and lick you clean from your juices.

You moaned and cupped Gale’s face, pressing his forehead to yours, gasping for air as tears streamed down your cheeks when Bucky was sucking on your sensitive, swollen clit. His moustache was tickling you in a way that only turned you on even more.

“Shh, my pretty baby,” Buck cooed to you as he grabbed your wrists and kissed them all over before joining your lips together in another passionate kiss.

You could feel on your thigh how hard he was under the fabric of his pyjama pants. In fact, he was leaking already. You moved one of your hands down to grab his length as you began to pump him lazily and he moaned into your mouth while the shiver went down his spine. After such a long time he finally could feel your soft hand on his cock. He would cum very fast on that night, of that he was sure. But he trusted you, he knew you wouldn’t judge him.

And indeed, it didn’t take long for him to spill himself on your hand. He came when he saw you cumming from Bucky’s tongue – lips parted, forehead sweaty, soft moans leaving your mouth as you trembled. The sight and your hand jerking him off were enough.

“You taste like heaven,” Bucky moved up to kiss you now as he hovered above you as if he was about to fuck you missionary but you weren’t sure if you could take him now, right after two strong orgasms. So, instead, you slid your hand underneath his pyjama pants and pumped him the same way you had pumped Buck who was now cuddled to your side and breathing heavily into your neck, covering it with kisses.

It didn’t take long for Bucky either as he closed his eyes and got lost in pleasure from your soft hand. You pumped him fast and moaned softly to spur him on and not long after you felt his warm cum coating your hand.

“Good boy,” you praised as he lowered himself to join your foreheads together. You kissed him to taste yourself and to soothe him after his own orgasm before he laid down on the other side of you and cuddled you, too.

When they were both laying like that – Buck half asleep already – you stared at your hand and wondered what had become of you. But somehow, you didn’t feel anxious. In fact, in the strong and loving arms of the both of them, you felt the safest.

You couldn’t choose one of them, ever. And you would marry Buck most likely because it was the best option but you would keep Bucky close. Always keep him close. When you imagined the possibility of him marrying another woman – even to keep up appearances – it made you sick and angry. They were your boys and you were their woman.

“My sweet boys,” you cooed as you kissed Buck’s forehead and then Bucky’s. “Go to sleep, my darlings. You’re home,” you whispered and pulled the cover up over your bodies.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[moody-alcoholic]

Epilogue

It's over so here is my opportunity for a quick TED talk.

I do have idea's for some one shots in the future, so the fic won't be 'finished' but the main story is. I am also very much open to suggestions.

For now though this is the end for this fic. I want to say thank you to everyone who loved the story and followed it. To all the people who binge read it in one night. You have no idea how much it means to me.

I want to give a special thank you to @void-my-warranty for inspiring me through her work to bite the bullet and write a smut fic. If I was to dedicate this work to anyone it would be her. Thank you <3

I will write more Ghoap x reader in the future but for now I’m shifting my focus to my other work and the upcoming Johnny x Simon fic I have been working on. I always strive to improve with every work I put out there, so if you like this check out my other works they’re all a little different.

If you want more Ghoap stuff I will leave some recommendations here, there are so many talented authors out there who deserve way more love then me so go forth and enjoy!

Recommendations. A Dichotomy of Thought - REMEMBERWREN Ghoap x reader Harmless Fun - REMEMBERWREN Ghoap x reader Sundowning - losersimonriley Simon x Johnny Service Dog Johnny - void-my-warranty Ghost/Fem Reader/Soap ——————————

Summary: . Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe. CW: Mentions of suicide, grieving, mentions of death.

Previous parts - masterlist - Back to the start

Enjoy <3

6 months later

You’re surprised to see Johnny is waiting for you as you exit the hospital after your shift. You throw yourself in his arms.

“I thought you weren't back till Friday?” You say kissing him.

“Price got us on an earlier flight, thought I would come and surprise you.” He says wrapping his arm round your waist.

“Where’s Simon?” You ask looking around.

“Debrief, boring admin work, he’ll be back later.” Johnny says as you walk with him.

“That mean we’ve got the flat to ourselves?” You nudge him as he leads you to the car. He chuckles.

“How’s civilian life treating you?” He asks as you both get in. You quit the military a few weeks after what happened with Jack. Price managed to pull some strings and get you honourably discharged. You joined the reserves, it felt right, keeping just a little connection. You got your old job back at the hospital, the same one you and Chloe worked in. It was nice to see old faces, and new ones too.  

“You know, same old same old. We planted that tree for Chloe. You should have been there it was lovely.” You say suddenly feeling sad. You rallied with the people from A&E who worked with Chloe and you all sponsored a tree for the patients garden.

Her family gave you her ashes. They just turned up on your door one day. You had them made into a rock, then placed it under the tree. You don’t know if that’s what she would have wanted but it felt right. Johnny’s hand rests on your thigh. 

“What about you, you must have more interesting stories then the ones I have from working 12 hours in A&E.” You say smiling and pushing the tears away. 

“Ah yes, we’ve had some adventures I’ll give you that love.” Johnny says as you drive out the car park. You let him talk the whole way, it had been a week since you’d seen them and you were desperate to spend time with them again. When you make it into the flat Simon is there. 

“Thought you wouldn’t be back till late?” Johnny asked as you run into his arms.

“Price said he could handle it.” Simon says before you plant your lips on his.

“How’s civilian life?” Simon asks, you roll your eyes.

“They planted the tree for Chloe.” Johnny says from the kitchen.

“Yeah, how’d it go?” He asks, looking at you. 

“Good, I think she would have liked it.” You reply. Simon nods leading you over to the sofa as Johnny comes over with a bottle of wine and wine glasses. You cuddle up next to Simon as Johnny pours the glasses.

“What’s the latest with the Masons?” You ask. You hadn’t been keeping up with it but Simon and Johnny’s had, they’d been watching them like hawks.

“They’re in court on Monday, we’ll know more then.” Simon says. It took a month or so but finally people were formally arrested. Almost every family member who was in the military had been dishonourably discharged, and there were even talks of the Americans getting involved and also prosecuting the family.

You were warned you would need to go to court to testify, but you didn’t care. Jack killed himself, left a suicide note, seems the family was planning on pushing all the blame on him so they could try and get away with it. His note was pretty damming, it’s been big part of why they were able to get so many of his family.

They’ll lose their house, businesses everything. Most of them are looking at life in prison. You didn’t want to smile but it was good, justice and you would never have to worry about them again. You feel Johnny pull your legs up on him scooting over to sit closer to Simon. It reminded you of the first night you stayed in their flat. A bottle of wine and shitty police chaser shows.

“I reckon e’ll make it.” Johnny says sipping the wine. You turn to look at him smiling. 

“Don’t be silly Johnny.” Simon scoffs. You look up at Simon. 

"I bet he makes it." You smile looking back at the TV. Simon kisses the top of your head. You were glad they were back and back safe.

"I love you." You mumble as you hug Simon.

"Love you too." He says as Johnny's hand strokes your back. You look over at the TV. They caught the guy.

[floralcyanide]

— ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴊᴀᴠɪ ɪɪ (nsfw)

After being with Javi romantically for 6 months, you finally meet again when he is discharged from the military.

part one

↝ pairing: Javier "Javi" Rivera/ Fem!Reader

↝ warnings: smut (mdni!), unprotected sex, unsafe sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), nipple play, fingering, long distance, read has anxiety (again)

↝ word count: 3k

↝ author’s note: here is part two! I hope you all enjoy (: I may continue this in the future but idk yet. let me know what you think.

masterlist ⋇ divider credit: @cafekitsune

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

Javi asks you to be his girlfriend the following February through one last letter. The two of you have opted to talk over the phone now. It’s the best possible scenario- one you never could have imagined- to have ended up in a relationship with someone you genuinely cared about and liked. It’s also a plus that you have a lot in common and are comfortable with each other. The more time passes, the more something seems to be missing. After four months of really talking romantically and two months of dating, you realize it’s the physical factor. It doesn’t bother you too much, but it is something you wish you could do with Javi. Whether it’s kissing or holding hands, or other things- you want that. But not with anyone else but him. 

Javi always talks about how he wishes he could hold and touch you. He even gets a little explicit in letters he sends about how exactly he’d touch you. Every time you think about it, you shiver and have to clamp your legs together. It wasn’t until you had a wet dream about Javi that you started thinking about what sex would be like with him. It wasn’t really something that had crossed your mind when you first started talking or even became an item. But that random dream had you frazzled and made you start thinking about it more often. That’s around the time you and Javi started flirting heavily over the phone and through your writing. 

The two of you had decided to meet up again sometime in the fall, possibly around September or October. Those plans are scrapped when you get a phone call one night in August as you settle for bed. 

“Javi? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is all good. I just wanted to call you with good news.”

“Oh really? What’s up?” you immediately sit up in bed.

“I’m being discharged for a project in Oklahoma the government wants me to do. I can’t go into detail yet, but I’ll be coming around your area again to stay with my aunt and uncle until I find somewhere out west to live, courtesy of the U.S. Government,” Javi says, and you grow excited.

“That’s great to hear! Did you want to meet up when you get back?”

“Of course, baby. Would you mind picking me up from the airport? I can snag a hotel for a few days before heading to my family’s place. Sound okay with you?”

“Sounds perfect!”

Javi calls again the next day with more details on when he’d be returning. He’s flying into the same airport where the two of you met, so you don’t have to drive far. He says it’ll be a week from now when he arrives, and you’re beyond ecstatic. Deciding to be bold, you shop around for something cute to wear underneath your clothes for when you meet up with Javi. Perhaps something in his favorite color? You’re giddy just thinking about spending time with your boyfriend. Your best friend nearly keeled over when you told them about Javi finally asking you to be his girl.

“Ah, yes, at last, the curse is broken!” they had joked, and you immediately smacked their arm in response.

But they were right. Your dry spell had finally come to an end. 

The week flies by, much to your surprise, and before you know it, you’re trying to decide what to pack. You decide on mostly comfy clothes and some decent stuff in case Javi wants to take you out. After including some toiletries, you climb into bed and get some rest for your drive tomorrow. 

You nearly oversleep by accident, your warning alarm going off and letting you know you had just 15 minutes before you needed to leave. You scramble out of bed and hurry to the bathroom to wash up and wake up before getting hurriedly dressed. Deciding on doing your makeup while waiting at the airport, you pack that up and ensure you have everything before dashing out of your front door. Taking some deep breaths once in the car, you blast your music and start traveling. After grabbing some coffee, of course. Traffic is thankfully not too shabby on your way to the airport, and since it’s not the holidays, you find parking quite easily. Immediately upon finishing your journey through TSA, you go to a secluded family restroom to make yourself presentable. Some mascara here and blush there with a dash of concealer, and you’re looking a little more lively than before. You find the gate where Javi will leave his plane and take a seat, deciding to doom scroll on the social media of your choice. 

It’s finally around the time for Javi to arrive, and sure enough, a text pops up saying he’s landed. You sit up in your seat and try to remain calm. Last time, meeting Javi was pretty scary, but this time, you’re more excited than anything. Not only because you know him and are comfortable around him but because you get to experience him as your lover. When people begin filing out of the gate, you anxiously await Javi. You spot his head of curls right away, a giant grin spreading across your face. Javi sees you, and his expression mirrors yours. He beckons you to come to him. You all but run and immediately jump into his open arms, wrapping yourself around him. Burying your face into his neck, you realize that you’ll be coming out of the gates from now on when you visit Javi in Oklahoma. 

You pull away from each other and move out of the crowd and back to where you were sitting. Javi cradles your face in his hands, staring deeply into your eyes. Back on New Year’s Eve, you had wanted Javi to kiss you so badly, but not as badly as you’ve been wanting it here lately. Not as badly as you want it right now. Javi leans in and closes the space between the two of you, bringing his lips to yours in a soft, brief kiss. You smile as you pull away, Javi’s hands still on your face.

“There’s more where that came from, I promise,” Javi winks, “Let’s get to baggage claim and get the hell out of here.”

“Say less.”

Javi had a lot of luggage with him this time- as much as he could bring with him, anyway. The rest of his belongings would be shipped to where his aunt and uncle reside. After loading up the luggage cart, the two of you exit the airport and head to the parking garage, an airport employee following close behind. Once your car has everything in it, the employee wishes you a good day and heads off with the cart. You and Javi climb into your car and head in the direction of the hotel, Javi telling you where to turn every now and then. You let him pick the music despite the short duration, but he appreciates it anyway. Once you arrive at the hotel, you grab your bag and Javi grabs his that had everything he needed right away. Everything else is packed away. You’re suddenly super nervous as Javi works on checking in. You try to brush it off quickly as the two of you head to the elevator. Javi reaches over and grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your nervousness seems to melt away at the gesture. 

Javi lets you know he’s taking a shower the second you step inside the room.

“I will be searching for something to watch while you do that,” you say, “I’ll probably hop in after you.”

“Why not save some water and shower with me?” Javi wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes, finding the closest pillow and throwing it squarely into his face, “Easy there, tiger.”

“I’m just playing,” Javi chuckles, tossing the pillow back at you, “We can have fun later.”

The nervousness creeps back in, but you push it aside and go through the action movie category as you hear the shower turn on. Settling on a movie you’ve seen several times, you get comfy on the bed. You update your best friend, telling them that if you don’t respond for a while, you’re busy with your boyfriend.

“Have fun in Pound Town, bestie! (;” they text, and you snort.

“I will savor every minute of it!” you respond.

“Use protection!!!!! I don’t want any nieces or nephews yet.”

You toss your phone to the side and decide to go ahead and get your comfy clothes ready, along with your toiletries and the cute underwear you picked out. An idea pops into your head as you pick out one of your shirts. You decide to sneak one of Javi’s out of his bag to wear instead, choosing a rather large one. Moments later, the shower turns off, and the bathroom door opens, revealing Javi with nothing but a towel on. 

“It’s all yours, baby,” he smiles at you, and you go to walk past him into the bathroom, but he stops you by grabbing your hips.

Javi leans down to give you a more passionate kiss than the one at the airport. The smell of his soap entices you, almost dizzying you to the point that you can’t pull away. Eventually, you have to in order to catch your breath and take your turn to rinse off. You close the door behind you and collect yourself for a moment before turning the shower on. You avoid washing your hair or getting your face wet, as you showered last night and also didn’t want to ruin your makeup. So, you just quickly wash your body, hop out of the shower stall, and moisturize before getting dressed. You stare at yourself in the slightly foggy mirror, trying to see how you look in the lingerie you got. You try not to psych yourself out and decide you’ve spent enough time in the bathroom, pulling on your shorts and Javi’s t-shirt. 

Exiting the ensuite, you spot Javi on the bed where you were earlier, watching the movie you had turned on. Javi does a double take when you walk toward the bed, a face-splitting grin on his face when he realizes you’re wearing one of his shirts. 

“Nice shirt,” he smirks.

“Thanks. It’s my boyfriend’s,” you climb onto the bed and kiss Javi’s cheek before settling next to him. 

“Well, he’s a very lucky guy,” Javi jokes, repositioning himself to lay his head in your lap.

“Indeed he is,” you say, your hand wandering into Javi’s hair.

Javi moves his face slightly, pressing a kiss to your thigh, “Can he show you how lucky he is?”

“That depends,” you say, tapping your chin with your finger, “How would he show me?”

“By doing this,” Javi kisses your skin again before spreading both of your legs apart, laying in between them and kissing along your inner thighs.

“And this,” he pushes himself up by his arms on either side of you, angling his head toward yours and leaning in for a kiss.

The kiss isn’t short or teasing this time- it’s hot and passionate. You allow Javi to dominate your mouth with his tongue, letting him explore as he lays you back against the pillows behind you. His hands slide under the shirt you’re wearing, running themselves against your warm skin before moving upward. Much to Javi’s delight, there’s a thin lace covering your breasts so that he can provoke the peaks on them with just a light rubbing of his thumbs. You groan into the kiss as Javi teases your nipples through the bralette repeatedly, his body pressed to yours. Javi pulls away from the kiss to move his head underneath the shirt and unclasp the bra from behind, allowing it to move off your breasts. He pushes it to your collarbone so he has full access to you. Javi tests the waters by kitten licking one of your nipples, to which you arch your back. He places a hand on the curve of your back to hold you steady as he toys with the other peak lightly between the fingers of his free hand. Simultaneously, he stimulates your nipples with a feather-light touch and a nip here and there, causing you to throb helplessly between your legs. 

Javi gradually gets rougher the louder you become and the squirmier you get. He’ll sometimes twist your nipple before soothing it with his tongue or roll it between his teeth to make you jerk your hips into his ribs. Just when you think you’re going to lose your mind from the pleasure of Javi playing with you, he pulls out of the shirt.

“And don’t forget that he’d show you how lucky is by doing this, too,” Javi slips his fingers underneath the waistband of your shorts, “Only if you want him to, though.”

“Please,” you whimper, “I want you to touch me, Javi. I’ve been wanting it for so long.”

“I’ll take care of you, baby girl. Don’t worry about it,” Javi pecks you on the lips as he slides down your shorts, revealing the dampened underwear in his favorite color.

“Like it?” you smirk.

“I love it,” Javi moves his thumb over the wet patch, making you hiss.

He slowly pulls the garment down your legs and off completely before spreading your legs apart, relishing in how wet you’ve become from his touch. Javi pushes the side of your knee into the bed as he moves the other one to your chest, opening you up fully to him. He wastes no time gathering your slick with his tongue and circling your clit with it, causing you to gasp. Javi has to bare down on your knees to keep you still as he suckles the bundle of nerves. He lets go of one to spread you open further with his fingers, exposing your clit fully to him. Javi flattens his tongue and shakes his head from side to side before flicking the bud around with the tip of his tongue again. He delves it inside of your weeping cunt, testing to see how wet you are before pushing a finger inside. Feeling how drenched you are and how easily you’re taking just one, he adds another, curling them against your walls. You’re probably being a little too loud with how good you feel, but you don’t care and neither does Javi. The combination of his mouth and fingers is doing wonders for you right now. 

“Do you want me inside you?” Javi pauses momentarily, making sure to ask before going all in.

“Yes,” you say, “Don’t make me beg, please. Not this time, anyway.”

Javi chuckles, removing his fingers from you and sitting up on his knees, keeping you in the same position, “Noted.”

After removing his clothing, Javi wastes no time pumping himself a few times before lining up with your entrance. You hope all of him will fit, judging by his size. As he slowly presses inside, you bite your lip and take it. It’s definitely been a while for you, but you take it in stride. Before you know it, Javi is fully sheathed inside you, your cunt sucking him in already. He pulls out before guiding himself back in, the feeling causing your eyes to roll back into your head and your lips to form an ‘o’ shape. Javi curses as he repeats the action, this time a little quicker and harder. He forms a rhythm in no time, pounding you into the bed steadily. He reaches down and rubs your clit in soft, teasing circles as he fucks you. You cry out his name, grasping onto his biceps desperately. 

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this,” you manage to say despite your gasps for air, “I’ve thought about it a little too much.”

“Don’t think I haven’t imagined this every time I had a moment alone on base,” Javi says.

“Is it everything you hoped for?” you ask.

“Much better than I had hoped, actually,” he smiles.

Your leg is hitched atop Javi’s shoulder now, allowing him a better angle. You’re nearly in tears from how good it all feels, the flames of pleasure licking at your belly dangerously. You can feel the knot in your stomach getting close to coming undone.

“I’m gonna cum,” you warn, and Javi pinches your clit slightly before he snaps his hips forward harshly, urging you closer to your orgasm.

“Me too, baby,” he says, not letting up on his pace one bit.

As Javi rubs your clit again, your cunt clenched around him as you cum, your body on fire. He follows close behind, collapsing into you as you both ride out your climaxes. Javi carefully pulls out of you before rolling over next to you and pulling you into his chest. He plays with your hair as the two of you catch your breath. You’re a little disheveled- your bra is still hiked up your chest, and you’re still sporting Javi’s shirt. You decide to sit up and take off both, but Javi stops you.

“Keep the shirt on. It looks good on you,” he looks at you fondly.

You spend the rest of the day watching movies and ordering takeout, enjoying each other’s company. The next few days are like a dream, spending time with Javi and going out and doing things. The two of you decide to remain long distance and see where things go. If the relationship grows stronger, you’re going to think about possibly moving to Oklahoma once you’re done with university. It depends on what happens between you and Javi for the next few months. 

Either way, you’re beyond happy right now. All thanks to writing a random pen pal in the military, you’ve possibly found who you’re spending your life with. It can’t get much better than that.

[sentientcave]

Fuck-ass Mohawk

Contains: Alcohol, smoking (cigarettes and cannabis), Soap being Soap, Ghost being Ghost, uninvited touching, tall fem reader

Short little thing about Johnny liking it a bit when you're a bitch to him (And Ghost likes it too)

868 Words ~ MDNI

You’d rather stay home and play board games, but Laurie had convinced everyone that it was a good night for clubbing. You hated clubs— The noise, the crowds, the smell of sweat and alcohol and hormones— and spent the better part of club nights standing outside chain-smoking, or crammed into a dirty bathroom stall holding back a friend’s hair as she threw up blue curacao because she didn’t listen to you when you told her to eat dinner before going out. Tonight didn’t look like it was going to end up with anyone puking their guts up, at least. Laurie’s flirting with a gorgeous hunk with a devastating smile, and Alex and Hannah are dancing, so you go out the side door into the alley for some fresh air. Or air, anyway, since the alley’s where folks go to smoke. You light a joint, because at least that will dull the effect that the sound is having on your head. It’s getting close to midnight, which at least means the night is almost over, so long as someone doesn’t drag you along to some weirdo’s house. “Hey, wha’s a bonnie thing like ye doin’ out here all alone?” A voice purrs in your ear. You jump, surprised that he could get so close with out you noticing him, especially once you turn and really look at him. He’s huge, not that tall, probably your height when you’re not wearing boots (You have about an inch and a half on him in your shit-kickers), but broad and way more muscled than anyone has any reason to be, wrapped in a too-tight shirt, and smiling at you, bright blue eyes fixed on yours with unnerving intensity. He pats your shoulder. “Didnae mean to scare ye, lass, just wanted to say hello.” You take a big step to the side, establishing a new bubble of personal space without him in it. “Well, hello,” you say dismissively. “Goodbye.” There’s a snort from a few meters away, a big fellow with a kn95 mask dangling on one ear, his hand up in front of his face, a cigarette clamped between his fingers. “Och, dinnae be like tha’, hen.” “Don’t like it?” you ask, glaring at him. “Go away. Plenty of girls in there’ll go for whatever all this is.” A sweeping, unimpressed glance from his boots and ripped jeans up to his stupid mohawk would usually do the trick, but it only made this fellow smile wider. “No’ enough fer ya? I can sweeten tha deal some. The big fella doesnae mind sharin’ a sweet lass with me noo and again. There’s plenty of ye ta go around.” “Johnny,” the big fellow in question says sternly. His mask is back in place, covering the lower half of his face. “Dun’t look like she’s interested.”

“Tha’s where you’re wrong, LT. She just doesna want to admit it. Hen’s got pride. Wants to make me work for it, right lass?” He winks at you. “No. Don’t like your fuck-ass mohawk.” You puff on your joint, keeping your face still while he splutters, indignant. “Fuck-ass mohawk?” he asks. “What do ye mean by tha’?” “I mean it looks like you have a contentious relationship with your father,” you say. Maybe you’re being a bit mean, but it’s always fun to take a cocky fucker down a peg or two. “I don’t fuck with men with daddy issues. Most of ‘em are cops or military lads.” The big guy— LT?— laughs aloud at that while Johnny’s still looking at you with his mouth hanging open. The side door opens, and your friends pile out, Laurie arm in arm with her hunk, and Hannah and Alex clinging to handsome fellows of their own. “There you are,” Laurie says. “We’re going back to Hannah’s. Are you coming?” “Uh. I guess.” Laurie beams at you, and looks up at her hunk. “Kyle, do you need to find your friends?” “Nah. These lads right here.” He gestures at Johnny and LT. with a grin. “Knew Ghost would be out here, and Soap’s always followin’ him around like the big puppy he is.” “Ah’m no’!” You fall into step at the rear of the group. You’ll probably head home rather than join them, but Hannah’s flat is on the way to your own. Johnny and his handler flank you, matching your stride when you slow down or speed up. Annoying. “So what, is the big guy your replacement daddy?” you ask. “Wha— No!” Johnny says hotly. “He’s just my lieutenant.” “Could be your daddy, if you like,” Ghost says, putting a heavy hand on the back of your neck. “Got a thing for caustic little cunts.” “Oh fuck off,” you say, trying to shove his hand off. His grip squeezes a little tighter, and you try to ignore the way that core clenches around nothing. You channel the heat into anger, and dig your nails into his wrist hard. “Don’t fucking touch me.” He grunts, but doesn’t seem all that affected by your claws. “Look at you, ‘issin’ and spittin’ like a puffed up alley cat. S’cute. But save it for later, eh? Don’t want you to tire yourself out too early.”

[kentopedia]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ VIGNETTES — levi ackerman

contents. sfw, mention of pregnancy & marriage, angst, maybe unrequited love, fem!reader, 1.8k

notes. there is no dialogue in this, and it's purely poetic and prose because i wanted to do something different & levi is very important to me. posting this before i get nervous bc i feel as if i have poured too much of myself into this. idk if anyone will want to read it, but enjoy anyway !

you fell in love with levi ackerman the moment you met him. 

you fell in love with him in the underground, when you were both still young, his brashness and strength intimidating to even you, a member of the survey corps. the way your eyes had met through the filth and the grime, levi restrained, teeth bared, an image of a flame that refused to be put out. against every intelligent bone in your body, your heart had stuttered in your chest at the fierceness in his deep blue eyes, the way that, even when he was narrowing his gaze at you with something of hatred, he was still the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. 

you fell in love with him in training, when you watched a man who had never had any proper guidance become the strongest soldier that the survey corps had ever seen. levi was at home in the skies, free from the restraints and the waste that he had been born into, a natural when it came to odm gear. though he scoffed at you every time you tried to give him any pointers, you still felt some warmth in your face—he never needed any advice from you, anyway. it was just an excuse to talk to him. 

you fell in love with him when he lost his friends, the first time you’d had a conversation with him that didn’t end in a sour remark, an expression that made you think he saw you as nothing more than a military pawn. you’d let your mouth fall open, and then you’d shut it, a mumble of condolences coming out, before you’d admitted, hastily, that you knew what it was like to lose your only friends. but something changed in levi after the death of furlan and isabel—he wasn’t just a flame, he was a forest fire, rearing bright and deadly.

you fell in love with him when he became a captain, a man of status that allowed him to hand pick the members of his squad. and though you thought you’d be stuck where you were, not standing a chance to be chosen for a squad of the strongest scouts, you’d been the first on levi’s list. perhaps, it was only because of the kinship he felt towards you, but you’d never be able to forget the way you’d smiled on your way home from the meeting, your new assignment reigniting the sort of giddiness you hadn’t felt since you were a schoolgirl with a crush. 

you fell in love with him when you understood him. when the bite that followed the end of his every sentence didn’t seem so menacing, so sharp when you realized that your words held just the same amount of bitterness. his quips, dripping with sarcasm, fell on your ears lightly, bringing a smile to your lips, spreading across your teeth as everyone else stared back at him like he’d grown two heads. levi would meet your gaze across the room and you’d swap a secret, a loathing for the system, even if you’d always be grateful that it brought you together.

you fell in love with him even when someone else proposed to you, a member of another squad that had been in love with you since you were cadets. where he’d gotten the courage after all those years, you weren’t sure. perhaps it was because he’d seen the way you stared at levi, or maybe it was because you drew closer to death every time you ventured outside the walls. you’d said yes in a panic, a regret that you’d never forget, because you were so afraid of being alone that you’d never considered that levi might have loved you too. 

you fell in love with him when eren jaeger came into the picture, and suddenly, all your quiet moments with levi didn’t seem to mean a thing, not when there was a new hope for humanity, and if you could just save this boy, keep him alive, then maybe you could be free. but levi turned a blind eye to you once you got married. his secret smiles were sparse, his eyes darkening when he lost soldier after soldier, but never you. suddenly, you were the last of the levi's original squad, but you might as well have been dead too, for you felt like a ghost in your own unit. 

you fell in love with him even when a ring rested on your finger, a glittering gold band that was too pretty to be worn by a such a gruesome soldier. levi’s eyes drew to it, sometimes, and it sickened you, made you want to cut off your own finger and feed it to a titan, because how shameful it was to have given yourself over to something you had never wanted. you went home to your husband, the one you didn’t love, and dreamed of a man with pretty blue eyes, born from nothing and known by all. 

you’d always be in love with levi ackerman. he’d just never be in love with you.

levi ackerman fell in love with you the moment he met you. 

he fell in love with you in the underground, the emotion hitting him like a tidal wave, unfamiliar after years of feeling nothing but the need to survive. when his eyes lifted, finally meeting yours with just feet between you, the sight of you had nearly taken his breath away. you were beautiful, more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen in his entire life, and suddenly, he understood how furlan could drone on and on about the woman he’d slept with, because levi could’ve written paragraphs about the way your steel coated tenderness could force even the strongest men to their knees. 

he fell in love with you in training, when you moved so smoothly, with so much more gracefulness than levi’s brash, aggressive movements. levi knew he’d picked up most things better and faster than anyone in the survey corps, but he was certain he didn’t look as angelic as you did slicing through the neck of a titan. perhaps he didn’t understand the reason you so dutifully followed orders, turning a blind eye to the darker side of the military. yet, there was something about you, something that drew levi to you and made him wonder if there was more to your polite smiles and softened voice that he wasn’t catching onto. 

he fell in love with you when he lost his friends, and you were the first person to acknowledge that he was, truly, alone. no attempts were made to sugarcoat it, to say that at least you still have the scouts, when none of them could’ve understood the depth of levi’s pain, the way he’d dreamt a better life for isabel and furlan that would never come to pass. your smile was, he’d thought, brighter than even the sun, the fiery emblem that he’d longed for his entire life. maybe the two of you were bad at understanding each other, but levi loved listening to you… even when you didn’t quite love listening to yourself. he could’ve sat for hours and heard everything you had to say, for you kept it to yourself too often. 

he fell in love with you when he became a captain, and he knew that he’d do anything to keep you close to him. you were a puzzle he couldn’t unravel, hot and cold and everything in between. you were a beacon of light, warm and welcoming, and yet, you kept people at a distance, facing the dark side of the planets that no one but you could see. you were gracious and caring, vocal about your hope for humanity, sparing love where you could, even if you shied away from it. there was something gentle about you, but when levi made a crude remark, you were the first to laugh, the first to drop your guard and speak to him without the upbeat inflection in your voice.

he fell in love with you when he understood you, and he saw that whatever hollow shape his heart had turned into, yours slotted right within it. there was something about you that was the same, your souls crafted from one star, slowly dying, but burning bright, intimidating and loathsome, all at once. if levi believed in soulmates, in the fate that was written in the constellations, he was certain yours would’ve been intertwined, beautiful and lonely, sides of a coin that seemed the very same. 

he fell in love with you when someone else proposed to you, the expression on your face telling levi everything he needed to known. you could’ve been happy with that man—he was cheerful and tender, loving and sweet—everything that levi was not. a human obvious with his affections, and perhaps, levi had been wrong all these years in thinking that you were the one for him. how could you be, when he saw the way your fiancé worshipped the very ground you walked on, kissed you without caring who was watching. levi could never be that sort of man. not when he was so private and silent, his love shown only in the way he protected you without fail, spoke to you in secrets he would never share with anyone else. 

he fell in love with you when eren jaeger came into the picture, and levi screwed his head back on straight, deciding he could no longer pine for a woman that was already married. he threw his mind back into a war, reminding himself that happiness was fleeting, but loneliness was not, and he needed to get used to that. levi lost the members of his squad, people he'd grown to call friends. still, he refused to speak with you, because he knew that he was a weak man. a softly spoken word from your lips would’ve broken everything levi had worked to protect himself from, the gripping emotion within his heart that wouldn't leave unless it cut it out with your own blade. 

he fell in love with you even when a ring rested on your finger, and you requested to leave the scouts because you were expecting a child. levi tried to stop his face from falling, tried to ignore the twisting of his chest. because, maybe, he’d stood a chance when there was nothing but a sheet of paper protecting your marriage, but a child...? levi ackerman was a selfish man, but not to that point. not when he knew he’d be a terrible father anyway, that he was a fool for thinking that was a life he deserved. levi accepted your request, and then asked you be taken off his squad if you ever chose to return. erwin, for all his lack of tact, had said nothing, simply nodding at levi with something akin to pity. 

levi would always be in love with you. you’d just never be in love with him.

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Therapist

Rosie Rosenthal X Therapist! Reader

Summary: Rosie needs to stop controlling everything; maybe his therapist can help...

Warning: +18/ sub!Rosie/ softdom!reader/ riding/ oral sex (f and m)/ forbidden relationship/ mention of death/ swearing/ praise/ use of Y/n/ fingering/

Word count: 3.0k

Her official job title was military surgeon, but since the soldiers needed someone to talk to, Y/n became their confident and gave them advice, she heard a lot of things every day, but today, her newest patient was Robert ‘Rosie’ Rosenthal. A few weeks ago, he was the only plane back from a mission, he saw everyone go down, word on the base was that he was closing to everyone, he didn’t talk about it with anyone, he shut down and acted like nothing happened. As she got ready to see him, she looked at his file, and she looked at his pictures, he was good looking, but she had to stay professional. She saw man like him all the time, not wanting to show any emotions, acting tough but if she said the right things, she could crack this wall he built up.

When he knocked at her door, he was kind of nervous, he didn’t like to talk about what was happening in the air, not with his colleagues and certainly not with a random person. Y/n opened the door, looking at the pilot in front of her, she told him to come inside as she closed the door behind him. ‘’Major Rosenthal, pleasure to meet you, I’m Dr. Mitchell’’ she introduced herself as she sat on a couch in front of him. ‘’Please, call me Rosie’’ he said, sitting down. ‘’Rosie how are you feeling?’’ she shyly smiled, she saw men all the time, but Rosie was really handsome. She had to supress the thoughts she had, they weren’t professional. ‘’Don’t take it personally, Doc, but I don’t know what I’m doing here’’ he started, anger could be heard in his voice. ‘’I understand your frustration, Rosie, but you did fly the mission with the most casualties’’ she delicately commented.

It had been 45 minutes since the session started and Rosie was impatient, he shouldn’t be here and as beautiful as Dr. Mitchell was, he wanted to get out of her office. ‘’Can I ask you one last question, Rosie?’’ she asked, looking at him. He bobbed his head, slowly, before taking a deep breath. ‘’Do you like being in control?’’ she simply asked. He didn’t understand the question. ‘’In control of what?’’ he spat, frustrated. ‘’Things in your life, the time you get up, what you eat, where you go and in control in aspect of your life, like friendships or sexual intercourse’’ she coughed at the end of her sentence. Her cheeks were becoming red and the air in the room felt heavy. ‘’Yeah, I like to control my own life, and sometimes, uh, yes, I’m, uh in control in the- the- bedroom, why do you ask?’’ he stuttered. He tried to not show how nervous he was. ‘’Because that’s why you’re angry of being here, not having control. I’m going to free you from this session’’ he walked towards the door. ‘’Major, we see each other in a week, during this time, can you try to do something that needs you to not be in control.’’ She blurts out. ‘’Like what?’’ he asks, because nothing comes in his mind. ‘’Ask a friend to set up your alarm, let someone organize something, and if you find a woman, let her be in charge’’ she blushed, again. ‘’Of the date or something.’’ She babbled, trying to not sound like she was encouraging him to have sex with someone. ‘’I’ll try, Doc’’ he said before leaving the room.

She couldn’t sleep, too many sinful thoughts were in her mind. It wasn’t professional to think about a patient that way. What was she thinking, suggesting him to have sex and not being in control?! That night, she tossed and turned, thinking about Major Rosenthal in an incriminating way, good news was, she had one week before seeing him again. Bad news was, she had one week before seeing him again.

He really fucking tried, he let his friend set his alarm, he almost did everything she asked him to, but he didn’t see how it helped him. Plus, he had wet dreams about her all week. He kept thinking about having sex with her, how she would moan his name, how her innocent gaze would be when she sucked him off. He was nervous before his appointment. He didn’t know how his body was going to react when he sees her. Nonetheless, he entered her office, smelling her perfume as he pushed the doors. There she was, wearing a white blouse with a beige skirt. When she turned to face him, he thought he was going to faint, since when did she wore glasses? They were transparent, but still it gave her this innocent look that drove him mad.

‘’Major, how have you been?’’ she smiles as she looks at him. He plays with his fingers a little bit, before sitting down in front of her. ‘’Frustrated, Doc, I’ve tried to give up control, but it’s hard’’ he said. That and the fact that he kept thinking about having sex with her didn’t help. ‘’And what did you try to do?’’ she bit her lips as she wrote what he was saying. The air was hot in the room, Rosie was practically boiling alive. ‘’Everything, except things that involved a woman’’ he admitted. Y/n bit the inside of her cheek to supress a grin on her face. She looked at his lips, God she wanted to kiss him right now. She cleared her throat as she pushed her thoughts far away, at least she tried. ‘’And how did it go?’’ she asked. ‘’Like shit, I don’t understand how this is going to help me getting back in the plane’’ he confesses. ‘’Rosie, the urge you feel, of getting back in the plane. That’s because you feel guilty of being alive. You don’t understand why them and not you.’’ She blurts out. ‘’Can I sit next to you’’ he asks, before getting up. Y/n nods and bites her lips again. He was listening to her psychoanalysis of him, watching her face, seeing how she blushed her she caught him looking at her. ‘’But maybe I’m wrong’’ she whispered, looking at him. ‘’Do you have problems with proximity?’’ she asks him. She watches as he shakes his head. ‘’So, you don’t think that everyone around you is going to die?’’ she clarifies. ‘’Why all these questions, Doc?’’ his voice was low, making her shiver.

‘’I’m just trying to understand your mind’’ she breaths out. He noticed how her breathing got quicker and her pupils were dilated. ‘’I just think we would have a clearer idea of what’s rushing you back if you opened up to me’’ she stated, avoiding eye contact, he was so damn beautiful, Y/n thought that if their eyes met, she was going to be as red as a tomato. The tension in the air was dangerously close to burst. He moved his leg ‘accidentally’ touching hers, he watched as she hissed, but she wasn’t scared, she was in the same state as him; desperate. ‘’You’re right, Doc, I feel guilty for being alive, so I try to control everything around me, but this week as been torture. I kept thinking about you’’ he admitted, he wanted to see if she was bold enough to flirt back. Y/n blushed even harder as she took her glasses off, putting them on the side table. She looked at Rosie. ‘’What were you thinking about’’ she tried to stay professional, but it was hanging by a thread. She moved her leg so their leg would touch. He looked at their legs and looked back up to her. ‘’Testing your theory with you, Doc’’ he admitted. Y/n blinked multiple times before biting her lips, again. ‘’Really?’’ she flirted, still not daring to look at him in the eyes. ‘’Dead serious, you’re all I’ve been thinking about all week’’ he leans closer to her face, he could hear her heart beating really fast. ‘’And what are you going to do about it?’’ she breathed out as her eyes trailed all over his body. He smirked; she was flirting back. ‘’I can think of a few things, but again, I’m not good at letting someone else be in control’’ he teased. ‘’I can teach you how’’ she said, against his lips. They took one last look at the other before breaking the rules and kissing each other.

He made clear that he was going to be the dominant one, but Y/n had to remind him. ‘’I’m in control, remember Rosie’’ she grins as she kisses his neck. ‘’Then show me -ah- show me how to let go’’ he breathed out. She smiled as she pushed herself on top of him, as she began to grind her hips, his hands found their way on her thighs. ‘’Let me take care of you, Rosie’’ she whispered in his ears. Y/n felt his erection on her covered core, she wanted him so much. They were both breathing heavily, he watched her breast move as she breathed. He began unbuttoning her blouse, she looked at his fingers with a smirk on her face. She kept moving her hips to a slow, sensual pace, it drove him crazy, he needed her to do something else. His knuckles were turning white, he was gripping the couch too tightly. ‘’Use your words, Major. You want me to do something, you ask’’ she breathed out, kissing his neck. He threw her blouse on the ground and kissed her collarbones. ‘’Please, Doc, ah, please do something’’ he whimpered. Y/n grins before sliding off his lap to kneel in front of him.

‘’You touch me, and I stop, got it?’’ she looked at him in the eyes. His chest was rising with pleasure, how he wanted to take control. He quickly nodded before unbuckling his belt. He let the woman take his pants and boxer off. She was surprised by his length, he was big. She licked her lips before pressing small kisses on the top. Y/n could see Rosie struggling to keep his hands to himself. He threw his head back and his pulse quickened. Y/n kept kissing the top on his length, then she brought one hand at the base of his cock and started to slowly, stoke it. She saw goosebumps on his thighs. ‘’Words, Major’’ she reminded him. ‘’I need you to suck me off, please, Doc, plea’’ his word got lost in throat when she fully took him in her mouth. He moaned in surprise, causing the woman to giggle, sending vibration on his cock. He couldn’t help it, one of his hands went in her hair, she moved her head back, taking his length out of her mouth, making Rosie whimper. ‘’No hands’’ she smirked.

Rosie wanted to say fuck those rules so bad, but he thought that she was so hot, taking control and taking care of him like that. So, he took his hand off and she resumed what she was doing. She never could’ve guessed how vocal Rosie was, whimpers, breathy moans, small growls and shaky breath, that man wasn’t afraid of making sure she knew she pleasured him. Y/n felt his length throb in her mouth, she looked up and it was a sight for sore eyes. His shirt was unbuttoned, showing his abs, his head was thrown back and his Adam apple kept bobbing. Then, when she felt him getting close, she stopped everything. ‘’No’’ he whined. Y/n smiled and got up in front of him, stripping from her skirt. ‘’I didn’t even touch you’’ he tried to plead his case. ‘’I need to come, please, Doc, let me come’’ he begged. He looked so good like this, begging and submissive. His cheeks were red, he looked sweaty but in a hot way. ‘’You want to come, Major’’ she teased in a sensual voice. He nodded, swallowing hard. ‘’Please’’ he whispered. She got rid of her panties, he wanted to touch her so bad, so he swallowed his pride and decided to fully give her control. ‘’Can I touch you, Y/n?’’ her name rolled off his tongue like a prayer. She looked at him, smiling as she sat on the couch in front of him, she spread her legs and looked at him. He got off the couch and crawled to her, he was like a starved man. She had to stay strong, because the look he gave her as he crawled to her was enough for her to throw every ounce of feminism out the window. His eyes were dark, his mouth slightly opened, and his curls were messy. When he reached her, he trailed his hands on her bare thighs, before pulling her closer to him by the back of her thighs. She yelped, surprised by his move. ‘’Can I, please, eat you out?’’ he pleaded, looking at her in the eyes. ‘’Yes, Major’’ she breathed out. He sunk between her thighs and pressed small kisses to her inner thigh before kissing her exposed flesh.

His mouth felt so good, his mustache was adding something else, it was itching, but it felt so good. She threw her head back as her hands found his curls. He thought about playing with the same rules as hers, but she was in control. He was humming around her clit, sending vibrations that drove her mad. One of Rosie’s hands snuck up to play with her breast. She put one of her hands on top of his, she squeezed it to show him how he made her feel. Y/n arched her back as she moaned his name. But Rosie’s other hand pressed down on her stomach, adding pressure. ‘’Oh shit, Rosie, I’m close’’ she breathed out. He hummed to show her that he heard her, then decided to stop playing with her breast, he inserted one finger inside of her. ‘’Holy fuck, you’re soaking wet. Is that because you like to be in control? Uh, you like to be in charge’’ He grins, she felt hot around his finger. ‘’Yeah, right there’’ she breathed out. He looked at her, she looked like a goddess, her hair messy, her skin glowing with the coat of sweat, he could’ve come just with this sight. As he added another finger, he felt her clench around him. ‘’That’s right, come for me, pretty girl’’ he praised her. That was enough to send her over the edge, she arched her back as she was sent into pure extasy.

It took her a few minutes to recover, but when she did, she slid down the couch, to reach Rosie. He was seated against the other couch; she got on top of him. His arms were laid on the couch, he looked so ridable. ‘’Ready, Major?’’ she asked against his lips. ‘’Please, ride me’’ he sighed. Y/n positioned herself on top of him, their lips were touching, but they weren’t kissing. She sunk down on him, they both breathed out, shakily as Y/n took the time to adjust to him. ‘’Fuck’’ he moaned. He kissed her neck, to distract her from the uncomfortable stretching. When she felt ready, she began rocking her hips. ‘’Can I touch you?’’ he moaned. ‘’Yes’’ she whimpered. He places his hands on her hips, to try and guide her to a faster pace, but she denied him. She shook her head as she slowed down the rhythm. ‘’Nah, I’m still in control’’ she smirked. He pushed his tongue on his cheek as he caressed her hips. The smell of sex in the room was intoxicating. She began to rock her hips faster, because it was torture for her too. She arched her back as she kissed him sloppily. The pleasure was too much, she bit down his bottom lip, not too hard, but hard enough to send shivers down his spine. He decided that he wanted more intimacy, so he put his hands on her back and came closer to her body, he was hugging her, but the proximity allowed his pelvic bone to touch her clit and add stimulation. She put her hands in his back, scratching him in the process. The pace was fast, raw, sensual, almost animalistic. They both needed a release. ‘’I’m close, please let me come’’ he moaned in her ear. ‘’Please, please, please’’ he kept begging. Y/n’s brain started to form a sentence. ‘’Come with me, at the same time’’ she ordered. Since he was close, he decided to drop one of his hands and stimulate her clit with his fingers. Right now, she couldn’t care less about him asking permission to finger her, she was close, and he was helping her get there.

Rosie felt Y/n clench around his dick, her thighs started to shake from all this stimulation, he sucked on her neck. ‘’I’m gonna cum, c’mon pretty boy, cum with me!’’ she whined. ‘’You’re doing so good’’ she praised him. It was enough to trigger both their climax, they were a moaning mess as their body shook from pleasure. Y/n could feel his hot release throbbing inside of her and slipping on her inner thigh. They were both out of breath and glistening with sweat.

It took a minute for the both of them to come down from Nirvana. ‘’That was’’ he started, out of words to describe what just happened. ‘’See, letting someone else in charge can be fun’’ she chucked. He rolled his eyes as be playfully hit her ass. She yelped in surprise but smiled. Y/n got up first, even though she didn’t trust her legs, she got her panties back on as she sat on the couch. Rosie got up too, putting his boxers back on and sitting next to her. ‘’Thank you, Y/n, for everything’’ he said, kissing the top of her head. She smiled at the small display of affection. ‘’It was my pleasure.’’ She teased. They both laugh and look at each other. ‘’Do you think you could move my next appointment to earlier in the week?’’ he asked, making her laugh. ‘’Why?’’ she asked. ‘’Because I’m a hard learner and I’ll have to give you control again.’’

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

would you ever write something filthy for winter soldier? no pressure btw!

Experiments

Pairing || Winter Soldier x Female!Reader

Summary || HYDRA conducts sexual experiments on specimen The Winter Soldier.

Word Count || 2901

Contents & Warnings || Smut, Angst, Dark Themes — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, non-con, explicit content/language, sub!soldat, implied torture/murder/blood, restraints, unprotected vaginal sex, size kink, oral (male receiving), handjob, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, overstimulation, exhibition, creampie, bodily fluids.

Authors Note || The answer is yes sweet nonnie :D And I really love how this turned out. This is my first time writing for WS so please be kind :) Remember, read the warnings! I’m not responsible for your content consumption. Don’t like it, don’t read. And definitely don’t slap a label on just to be petty. There are no [ ] in the text below btw. Also apologies for no readmore cut. It’s currently bugged out and fucks up the text below.

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Masterlist

You had no idea how long you had been in this stuffy and dim-lit room. Minutes? Hours? Days? It felt like an eternity but also like no time had passed at all. It was easy to lose track of it when you had no inclination whether it was day or night out. The room and its surroundings were bleak and dull, giving nothing away about your location.

How did you end up in this situation? Naked with strangers watching—discussing, researching, contemplating. And with a stranger's cock in your grasp? Making him come again, again, and again—an endless cycle of climax.

It all seemed like a blur now. A past from another time. A dream? A nightmare?

They promised good pay. Money that was beyond imaginable, but you had to take this with you to the grave. This experiment that you yourself had signed up for could never reach the light of day.

Tell anyone, and they will torture and mutilate you beyond recognition. Killing and dumping your body in a ditch.

Although the men were vicious beyond anything, they told you countless times that under any circumstances, you could leave. You were not here out of force. They would keep you safe. You had signed up for this, and whenever you wanted to terminate the deal you had sealed, you were allowed. But you could never, ever tell another living soul about what you had seen or experienced.

It felt like a week, but in reality, it had only been a day or so since these men had come and picked you up from your home—blindfolding and plugging your ears. Due to their safety and yours, you could not know where you were being taken.

After hours of traveling by car, train, and plane—taking all transportation possible—you had arrived. To where you did not know. A military bunker of some sort, possibly. Somewhere cold and emotionless. An unknown country.

Your blindfold and plugs were removed, and you sat in a dark room. A hanging bulb from the ceiling cascaded a weak source of light throughout the space. The chair and table were metal and cold.

Opposite you sat a man dressed in uniform. Narrowing your eyes and inspecting him further, you saw it was the same man you had come in contact with when you had signed up for this mysterious experiment.

“Papers for you to sign,” he uttered in a thick Russian accent. His face and tone were stoic.

He explained the contract in detail. And there was a particular phrase that stood out to you. That made no sense. The Asset. It was mentioned numerous times.

You knew what you had come here for. A sexual experiment of some sort. But nowhere in the contract did it say who you were conducting it with. There was no name. No details about any appearance or anything. Only that you would perform with someone or something named The Asset.

“He has no name.” The man spoke. “He is not a person. Do not try to humanize him. He is a tool. A weapon. Nothing more. But if you have to call him something, you may refer to him as Soldat. And do not worry. He cannot hurt you.”

“Why am I doing this? W-what’s the purpose?” You muttered while avoiding his emotionless gaze.

“We have to experiment and see if he is breakable. If someone can ever bend his will and programming with sexual torture.”

Your train of thoughts and flashbacks were cut short by the sound of fingers tapping on glass behind you and the roar of metal chains rattling in front of you.

“Please continue, miss,” the same thick Russian accent bellowed from behind.

“O-oh,” you exhaled as you came back to your senses. The coldness of the small room pierced your naked skin. The sounds of inaudible chatter in a foreign language and beeping of instruments flowed through your ears. And your eyes adjusted to what was in front of you.

Soldat.

He held all your attention now as you peered at him through your thick lashes. The surroundings were not relevant anymore. The people watching and observing were not relevant anymore—only him.

The beefy and nude man was held in chains. His arms restrained so that he couldn’t touch you. Couldn’t hurt you, for that matter.

His head hung low, peering down at you. His long hair cascaded down his face and stuck to his sweaty forehead, but you could still see some of his features. He held an intense expression. It was hard to decipher. His jaw clenched tightly, and his dark eyes were wild. Pain? Pleasure? Did he actually enjoy the sexual torture? It was hard to tell. He never spoke. Deep groans and grunts that rumbled in his throat were the only sounds to ever come out of him. The sounds gave you an impression that he may actually enjoy this vicious ordeal.

Although powerless, he looked powerful and rough from where you were positioned on your knees. Fuck, he was huge. All of him. God, he was hot. The sight in front of you was like a lewd porno.

You and he were covered in cum, sweat, and spit—a concoction of erotic slickness. Hot and disgusting at the same time. It made the acts you performed on him that much effortless.

You felt the heaviness of his cock in your grasp again as you returned to yourself. And once you tugged on it tighter, he roared loudly and clenched his body tight and hard. The muscles underneath his skin became deliciously defined. And the plates on his bionic arm whirled every time he flexed.

His red and angry cock twitched in pain and pleasure. Raw due to your repeated acts on him—handjob, blowjob, and having him nestled deep inside your pussy. Making him come again and again.

The thick and protruding veins along his shaft pulsed underneath your palms as you jerked him faster. Tighter. Sloppier.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as you took in the sight of his impressive cock, making your mouth water at the anticipation of having him on your tongue again.

With a needy moan, you took him in your mouth. Suckling his head as both your hands sloppily worked the rest of him. Swirling your tongue on his sensitive tip as your lips wrapped beautifully around him.

Soldat groaned as you sucked him to perfection—cum and spit dribbling out of your mouth and making a beautiful mess all over yourself and him.

His hands may be bound, but the rest of his body was boundless, and he bucked his hips into your mouth. The tip of his cock tickled the back of your throat. You coughed and struggled, and he rumbled deeply in response. Seeming satisfied with you choking.

When you couldn’t handle the abuse to your throat anymore, you release his cock with a pop. You spat the excess saliva onto his length and let the slickness coat the entirety of him.

As both your hands worked his entire cock again—base to tip, you took his heavy sack into your mouth—licking and sucking. Enjoying the weight of his balls on your tongue—moaning against him.

You peered up at him again with hooded eyes. He seemed to enjoy the dirty sight—your mouth and hands full of his cock and balls. A messy perfection kneeling before him.

A smirk tugged on his lips before he hissed sharply through his teeth as you pulled his sack harshly and then let it drop from your mouth.

He was close again. Nearing his fifth? Or was it maybe the sixth orgasm since you started? You had lost count.

The Russian officer was right. Soldat was no ordinary man. No one would have been able to withstand so many orgasms in such a short time. It was extraordinary to witness. Could he really keep climaxing till the end of times?

Soldat’s chest heaved as the torturous pleasure built. His thick thighs trembled, and his cock twitched, anticipating another earth-shattering and messy release.

He bellowed a cry through his gritted teeth as he came hard once again. The chains rattled as he tugged on them. He bucked his stuttering hips into your grasp as he spurted ropes and ropes of thick white cum from his red tip and made a mess all over himself and you. The sounds of pleasure and torture—grunts, groans, roars, and subtle whines, surfaced despite his clenched jaw.

You never stopped stroking him. Never stopped milking his poor and sensitive cock for all its seed. God, there was so much. You were in awe of him—eyes wide and mouth ajar. It was like a drug to you. Seeing the man above you come so intensely undone.

In the beginning, you had felt bad due to how wrong the situation actually was. But the more he came, the more you craved it. You needed it just as much as breathing.

“Good boy,” you mumbled as you gave a final tight tug on his cock. He hissed at the sensitivity and then exhaled as you released his twitching and aching cock from your hold.

For the first time, he looked finished. Exhausted as he dropped his head backward. His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly and tried to catch his breath. Had he reached his breaking point?

You gave him a break. He deserved that much by enduring this pleasurable torture. But the men in charge were impatient.

“Please don’t stop, miss. He is not allowed to rest.” The same accent uttered behind the glass.

Soldat’s eyes were on you now. Watching intensely as you got to your feet. You hissed as you stood upright. The uncomfortable and solid concrete floor bruised your knees and made your thighs stiff.

His abused cock twitched once you stood before him in all your nude form. His chains rattled again as he tried to reach forward to touch you. The plates on his bionic arm whirled. Did he want to hurt you? Punish you for torturing him? Or was there something else he wanted?

He stared intensely at you with his jaw clenched and eyes wild like an animal—examining your body like a predator would a prey. He groaned and licked his lips, hungry for more of what you had to offer. How much till he could bear no more?

When he saw you become nervous under his gaze, he bit his tongue and relaxed back into his seat.

“Please continue, miss,” the Russian man pressed you on. Becoming impatient with the waiting.

You trembled as you sat on top of Soldat—sore yourself from all the previous activities you had performed on him—hours of torturous pleasure. He let out a satisfied groan as you found your place on his lap.

You were so unbelievably close now. Your sweaty bodies pressed together, front to front. It was so hot, so erotic feeling his warm skin against yours. Feeling his delicious and defined muscles underneath your palms as you ran them down his broad torso.

His cock nestled against your dripping pussy. Yours and his juices mixed as you grinded on him, making him rock hard again.

With a breathless moan, you took his cock in your grasp again, loving the feel of him in your hand. Soldat sucked in a breath through his teeth as you pumped his bruised and slick length before you lined up his bulbous head with your entrance.

For the first time since you sat on him, you found his dark gaze as you lowered yourself onto his thick girth, thighs trembling. You winched at the pleasurable sting as he stretched out your velvet walls, inch by inch. It was so much to take in.

A deep groan sounded from his throat at the friction on his sensitive cock. His head fell back, eyes closed, and his teeth drew blood as he bit his bottom lip. His body clenched again at the sensual torture.

“Fuck, you’re huge,” you whined as his cock nestled balls deep inside your pussy.

His dark eyes found yours again. And although they were scary and wild, you couldn’t break from his intense stare. An animalistic groan rumbled in his chest, and his hands clenched in tight fists. His menacing aura compelled you to start riding him.

With your hands clasped at the back of his neck, steadying yourself, you started bouncing on his thick length. Slow, to begin with. Letting the ridges and veins of his cock caress delicately against your walls. Your jaw slacked as you enjoyed the teasing penetration.

But Soldat was impatient. He tried to push his body further into yours despite the constriction of his chains as he bellowed a deep roar. His hips bucked upwards brutally, forcing the entirety of him in you. You cried as his swollen head hit deep inside.

As he continued to snap his hips up into your aching pussy in quick motions, you met his movements with your own forceful ones. The sound of wet skin clapping, deep moans, groans, and soft whimpers drowned out the chatter and beeping of instruments behind.

Your sweaty bodies moved and danced effortlessly together—a seductive second act to the lewd porno.

Without thinking, you pressed your lips to his hard. Soldat took advantage of having his touch on you for the first time. He groaned as he moved his lips hurriedly against yours. Parting them to explore your mouth further.

The kiss was messy and needy—tongue and spit mixed together. Breathless moans and whimpers shared between you as your lips moved passionately—savouring the intoxicating taste.

As you pulled away, desperately needing a breath due to the exertion of your movements, he captured your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on it as you pulled apart. He managed to nip your lip at the last second, puncturing through the skin and creating a little bleeding cut. He groaned while you moaned at the violent action. His animalistic and cruel nature was beyond hot.

It was hard to tell how long you had been fucking for—riding his cock brutally. It was all so intoxicating—the sounds, the touches, the tastes, the delicious penetration. It clouded all your senses. It made you aware of nothing but him—his massive body and cock.

You were approaching your first orgasm since you started this erotic experiment with The Asset. And with the way your body trembled and the firm tightness in your stomach begged to snap, you knew your release would wreck you—dissolving you into a messy state of whimpers and possibly a blackout.

You braced yourself by wrapping your arms around his neck—clinging desperately to him. Puncturing your nails into the skin of his back—leaving marks.

Soldat’s body tensed, anticipating another rocking release as he ground his teeth and roared like a caged animal. The chains rattled as he pulled on his restraints. His huge arms flexed, and his delicious muscles contorted beautifully, making him look even bigger.

You could see a hint of pain and discomfort in his features at having his cock tormented and overstimulated to the extreme. But another part of him, the darkest flicker in his eyes, couldn’t get enough of the torturous pleasure.

You leaned your forehead against his, which had his tenseness ease up to a degree. Yours and his parted lips brushed as you became so engrossed with the anticipation of your shared release.

“Fuck,” you whimpered as you grounded yourself deeper onto his pulsing cock that was nearing its release. And with a last few sharp thrusts of his hips into your quivering pussy, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly, you and he came hard—an explosion of noises and numbing pleasure rocked your bodies.

His cock twitched violently as he spurted his thick and warm cum into your awaiting womb, covering your fluttering walls with his seed. Making you feel full and satisfied. Yours and his hips stuttered and lost their rhythm as you tried to move against each other despite the soul-crushing and body-crippling sensation.

Your sounds of passion were muffled against his sweaty skin as you nuzzled your face into the crock of his neck. His ones roared so loudly in your ear—moans, groans, growls, making your whole body vibrate and convulse.

The pleasure seemed to last for an eternity as you savoured each erotic and sensual sensation with Soldat.

A wave of darkness shadowed over you as it became too much after a while. The pleasure too intense for your weak body to handle. Your movements started easing into a delicate dance as you used the last bit of strength to cling onto Soldat’s colossal frame.

Yours and his chest heaved in perfect rhythm as you stilled completely on him. His cock buried deep inside you still.

His warm body against yours was a comfort from the raging ache your own pulsed. His hot breath brushing your skin a soothing sensation.

How could a man that was claimed to be inhuman, dangerous, a weapon, feel so comfortable? Feel so right?

You hummed softly as you nuzzled further into him. Tired and drained from the hours of exertion that accumulated into a fiery ending.

The demands of the men in charge for you to continue were nothing but a muffled sound.

You felt yourself slip. Slip into darkness, tired and satiated, as the last thing your consciousness remembered was the soft lulling of the menacing man you were clinging onto.

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[swiss-mrs]

Can you write a second chance a love with SY. He and reader were exes and tension has built up where he can’t help but kiss you and profess that he still misses you. Thanks!

Second Chances

Captain Syverson x GN!Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Mentions of Failed (Military) Relationships, Mentions of Fighting/Regretted Words Exchanged, Slight Sexism/Toxic Masculinity/Trad Views, Self-Doubt, Slight Depression, Sy is Able to Lift Reader, Angst with Happy Ending (As Requested)

Reader/Unnamed OC Description: No Physical Descriptions, No Mentions of Race, Height, Weight, Ethnicity, Etc., Age is 25+, Sy is 35+, No Use of Y/N, Only You/Your Pronouns, Mentioned as “darling" and "beautiful", otherwise gender neutral.

Life is… fine. Wake up. Go to work. Come back home to your apartment. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. There wasn't really anything to complain about, but there was a notable loss. The only thing is now you're just used to it.

In the beginning, it was always the little things, someone passing with a similar cologne, a specific food brand at the grocery store, a familiar street you no longer pass by as often. Eventually, the watery eyes tamed to a pang in your chest. Now, it's all just numbness. Even with friends, your smile makes appearances again, but the happiness doesn't quite reach your eyes the way it used to. It's been so long, they just stopped mentioning it, but you still notice the occasional pity look.

It's a crazy thing to think about how you've lived more of your life without him than you have with him, but that doesn't lessen the effect.

You'd survived your childhood, your teenage years, and early twenty-something without him. After meeting the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on, you'd be foolish not to reciprocate his advances. Though you shortly had your skepticism after finding out his occupation, he was quick to assure you he was no quick trip, and ultimately, you caved.

And he for sure had you, for years in fact. He had you completely believing every one of his ‘I love you's and ‘forever's, yet here you are, missing the way he'd fill up the space in your life.

You'd had a life before him, a decently fulfilling, single life until he showed up and screwed that all up. He wasn't necessarily your first ‘love’, but he was definitely your first ‘true love’. And, now, you were feeling the effects of that loss.

The first thing that hit you after your split with Sy was anger, pure reactivity to how everything ended. How dare he call you ‘too much’. How dare he try to pull the whole ‘you signed up for this’ bullshit. He had the audacity to make every problem your problem. Fuck him for making your ‘forever’ just another failed military love that should've known better.

You were soon to block him, not wanting to hear any of his ‘I'm sorry's or ‘can we talk's. You'd already talked, talked a little too much. You were done. ‘Let it die’ was your mantra for months. He ruined you, had you looking in the mirror different. You couldn't talk to anyone, express yourself, ask for help, be vulnerable without seeing it as annoying, dramatic, ‘too much’. Maybe, it was just you?

You took it upon yourself to change, distance yourself, drift away. Was it just you? No one made a comment about how they suddenly heard from you less. Were you really too much?

For a long while, you wished he'd cheated, abused, something, anything to make you hate him. Could you really hate him for it? You didn't work out. That's not his fault. He didn't understand you, and a couple of rude words weren't nearly enough to hate him. He was ultimately a good guy. He was never unfaithful, never would even dare to think of laying a hand on you, but when it was all said and done, he was a bit neglectful. But, how much of that was him, and how much of it was his job? Oftentimes, it was hard to distinguish. Too often was it an excuse.

Did he love you? sure. Could he have loved more? yes. Too often did it feel like he was one-sided. You were there for him, not the other way around. You are his, not the other way around. You needed him, not the other way around. And to have that shoved back in your face when you brought it up was not the right reaction. He shouldn't feel like an animal cornered when you brought up a concern, something he did that hurt you, but he did. A valid point shouldn't be shot down or argued with counterpoint, but it was. Now, you can only second guess yourself, and that shouldn't be how it is, but it is.

You loved too hard, that will haunt you. He loved too little, and that will forever haunt him.

He hated himself. You were everything he ever prayed for, a beautiful partner with a beautiful smile and a beautiful soul, someone he could have forever. He didn't realize that the thought of ‘having someone’ was wrong of him. He was selfish. You never did anything but show him your heart, your mind, and he blew it up in your face. He destroyed something, someone so beautiful. A day hasn't passed that he wasn't filled with regret. He couldn't even smile or laugh anymore. He became scary.

He'd lost the one piece of true happiness in his life, and it was his fault.

He craved you. He needed you, but he was too late. Why couldn't he have realized what he had sooner? Appreciate you like you deserve. Love you like you deserve. He knows he has it in him, but he just couldn't. fucking. see. it. He wants to kick his own ass for it. He desperately wants to turn back time, go back with the mindset he has now, or at least beat it into his past self.

He'd gotten too damn comfortable being in the military. Vulnerability is weakness. Why would he use his words? Why think about anything, decode? Feelings are best buried. He's a man's-man, and a man only needs to protect and provide

He believed that ideology never gave him issues until you. You challenged that ideal. You asked him for his thoughts, his feelings. You wanted to know. You cared. It annoyed him. Why the fuck would he care? Sure he had thoughts and feelings somewhere, but he pushed them down. Why bring them back up? You surely had too much time on your hands to be concerned with what he was thinking. You wanted connection. He knows that now, but what is that going to do for him now?

He immediately felt the effects of your absence. He was deployed when you left your shared home. He watched you leave on the security camera, car packed to the brim. Sure, he had felt a type of way about it then, but then he was only apologizing for the sake of it. He was just another man in the wrong. Apologize to your upset partner, make up, and move on, but oh, was it so much more different now.

He was filed to the brim with remorse. Even then, he had visions of your shared future, retiring or climbing ranks to settle in one place, building a family, a home, preferably on a large, secluded plot of land. How he looks on with different eyes at that ‘future’ now. He never truly believed in all that ‘grass is greener’ ‘know what you have ‘til it's gone’ B.S. until he'd lost you. He gets it now.

It wasn't until that switch was flipped for him to realize you blocked him, excommunicated. He was gone so much that he never got a chance to build any sort of relationship with your friends. It irritates him now that he is probably known as just the shitty military ex. The closest thing he has to you is a friend of a friend of his who is a friend of a friend of yours. At first, he'd rather die than try to reach out to you that way, but now, there was no line, no bridge he wouldn't cross to just get one more moment with you.

He'd been stewing on it for the last year and a half. You'd moved and blocked him. It seemed utterly hopeless to reconnect, but something came up recently that has him itching again.

He's been promoted. A good job, good position, and in one place. It was perfect. The start of your ‘forever’ together. The only thing missing is you. Friend of a friend² be damned. He had to fix this, and just his luck to find you. Just your luck to be found.

It took several minutes for you to lay eyes on him, but he spotted you immediately. The second you walked through the door of your new favorite café, he saw you. He couldn't believe it. He originally pulled himself into this place because it simply reminded him of you. It had you written all over it. He felt closer to you here. He wouldn't have guessed you would just walk in like this. His eyes followed you as you stood in line and ordered.

He noticed you glance around the café briefly and still not spot him seated at a back table facing the exit. His heart raced, seeing your eyes wander before going to your phone. He knew that look, though. You were only fidgeting with it, trying to make yourself look busy to avoid any social awkwardness. It made him grin as he stared longingly. There were some things that didn't change.

It had been a whole two years since you last saw Sy, about eight months since you stopped seeing him in every stranger. You weren't going to back track now, so you stared down blankly at your phone to keep yourself from staring at the familiar looking guy in the corner. He was missing a thick beard and a shaved head, but with a quick glance, he looked an awful lot like heartbreak.

Sy knew he was on borrowed time, the chances of you sitting alone in any kind of restaurant was slim to none, and considering you weren't looking for seating meant you were grabbing and going. He had to think of something and fast.

His body was standing, and his feet were moving before his mind could catch up. It wasn't until he was about two feet away that he stopped and started panicking. You noticed the man standing in your peripheral, but you kept your head down to avoid any awkward eye contact. That was until your name fell from his lips, causing you to look up from your phone.

“Sy?” Your eyes widened and your brows furrowed together. Your heart immediately started blasting in your ears. You couldn't breathe. You'd thought about running into him again, about all you wanted to say to him, telling him off? apologizing? But that was before your move, before you forced him out of your mind. Now, you were face to face with your anxiety and dreaded nightmare. Your name was muffled from his mouth and to your ears the second time.

“Hi. How have you been?” He wanted to punch himself in the face for how casual that came out, but he quite honestly couldn't think of anything better to say without falling over his own words. He awaited a response from you, but you only stared like a deer in headlights.

You genuinely couldn't hear a word coming out of his mouth. Was he talking? He had to have been. His mouth was moving, but it was like his voice was muffled. Something you assume was your name came out again before your name was called a bit louder by a different voice behind you.

You whip your head around to find a perky barista with a drink in hand, looking in your direction. You scurry over to her and take your drink with a curt thank you, as polite as you can muster in this moment. Without even a second glance, you're making a rushed escape for the exit. Your name is called again, but you're tunnel visioned on the door out.

Sy's stomach tightens and drops at the sight of your flee, but again his body is in full control at this point. He's utterly in shock. He didn't know what to expect, but this was his chance. All he knew is that he couldn't let you leave, not again, so this time, he chased after you.

As soon as you're out the door, he's right behind you, having to catch the door from slamming on him. He calls out for you again, but you don't stop, so he keeps running.

It's once you're passed the café windows that he finally catches up. He reaches to grab for your arm but quickly changes his mind to just step in front of you instead. “Wait! Please, darlin’, wa-”

“Don't call me that.” He's taken aback by the sudden words but retracts nonetheless.

“Please. Wait.” It was at this point that you both have fallen silent that you get a good look at him. His hair has grown out of its ‘tactical buzzcut’ and into a pretty generic cut that was redeemed by the dark curls atop his head. His beard was now trimmed down to only some scruff and a mustache. It was an odd combination of seeing him with more and less hair than usual, but he was just as handsome as ever, unfortunately.

The pause between you both was long. Though it should be awkward, it was also strangely comfortable or rather empty. Being in each other's presence again was like putting on an old hoodie. It was cathartic and familiar, but the memories, the history, was hard to get passed. Your name falls from his lips again, a lot softer and barely there. Your eyes were trained on his face, unable to look away. His were downcast.

“I… I….” His eyes close as he takes a deep breath in an attempt to gain some composure. His bottom lip juts out a bit as his mouth tightens into a little frown. “Please, I need to talk with you.” He opens his eyes, encapsulating your gaze in his.

The sight of his eyes outside of your memory is enough to empty your brain of any thought, so you remain silent. But he needs an answer from you, so he waits.

“What is there to talk about?” You say. He can tell by the look in your eyes that you built walls that weren't there before, and it shakes him to his core. He did that.

“A lot.” He sighs, huffing out a singular humorless laugh through his nose. His face briefly quirks like it wants to give a smile to match the short laugh, but the overwhelming weight of the situation at hand just won't allow for it.

You stare up at him for a few beats of silence, both of your chests tight with anxiety. You've never seen him so close to breaking down. He's never seen you so blank. Neither of you really knows what to do, but eventually, your eyes fall from his face before you walk passed him.

Sy freezes. The world around him simultaneously crumbles and halts. His breathing completely stills. You don't get five steps away before you turn back and call after him, “You want to talk. I'm not giving you another chance to do so.” You say, expecting him to follow you. As soon as the realization hits, he moves with haste. He's beside you walking before you're even done turning back around.

It was a good two blocks before Sy spoke up. “How have you been?” He tries again, looking over to you as you walk.

“Fine.” You answer curtly. It makes Sy frown again. It's the kind of ‘fine’ you'd give a stranger, and he hates that that's what you've become. He feels a bit shut down but continues. This is his chance.

“Well, that's, um, good to hear.” He states, but the end of the sentence inflicts an upward tone, almost into a question.

“I wasn't for a long time, but now, I'm fine.” You add, and it's the hardest punch in the gut Sy has ever received. His jaw clenched as he nodded. He swallows, trying to carefully choose his words, knowing how much each one counts.

“Darlin-” He cuts himself off by correcting it to your name. He sighs again, “Please, genuinely hear me when I express how sorry I am.”

“I'm sure you are.” He glosses over your response, continuing.

“Look, I know I've said it before, but, in all honesty, I didn't-” He cuts himself off again, making sure he words it correctly.

“Didn't mean it?” You finished, a bit annoyed.

“No.” He's quick to correct, “I meant it.” He says, determined, “I knew that I had made you upset, and I knew to apologize for it, but I didn't really know the meaning behind it.” He admits. “I didn't understand.” He confirms what you already know. “I was foolish. Stuck in an old way.” He pauses with another frown. “I didn't understand why you wanted to dig into me. I didn't understand that you were only trying to connect with me, really connect. I got defensive. ” He looks up from the ground to your eyes with a sad, guilty look, like he's confessing. “I was stupid and didn't believe in sharing every part of me with you.” He slows his pace, forcing you to match until you're stopped in front of him.

You're facing each other as he continues with his confession. “I thought doing so would make me less of a man, but I understand now.” He gives you a quick, little, sad smile before it disappears into a guilty frown. “I understand that it was an integral part of strengthening our bond, our love. You'd show me every part of you in return for me doing the same, and we'd accept each other, every part.” He gives another sad smile that breaks your heart all over again. He looks down shamefully with a hard look on his face, “I understand now.”

You look at him with a sad pout. Half of you wants to give him a piece of your mind. Two years!? It took all that time to just now fucking realize what you were asking of him!? But the other half didn't know how to feel. What is he trying to do? Redeem himself? What.

“So that's it? You just wanted to give me an actual apology?” He can see that your walls are still up. He fixes his jaw.

“Yes, but,” He starts. He knew that you weren't going to just fall into his arms, but he still hoped it would be that easy to just pick up where you left off. He sighs with his eyes closed, this time shakily, nervous. It confuses you as you've never seen the Captain Syverson nervous. “I've been…” He stops short, pausing. Jesus, you never thought you'd see the day this immovable mountain of a man revert to the demeanor of a reprehensible child. “I know we can't pick up where we left off, and I kind of don't want to,” He tries again, this time getting a confused and slightly offended expression from you, “but can we, maybe, start over?” He looks at you with the most hopeful, pitiful puppy eyes you've ever seen, another thing you never thought you'd see from him.

The air forcefully leaves your lungs as all the progress you've made through the years to try and make yourself impenetrable leaves with it. Your chest tightens as you try to will the upcoming tears away. It's your turn to let out a humorless laugh. You shake your head, looking off into the distance, “You really hurt me, Sy.” You look back at him with the most heartbreaking expression. He nearly looks close to tears at the sight. “I'm too much. I'm needy. I expect too much.”

“No, no, no.” He stops you, stepping closer only to get you retreating from him. Your step back drives the heartbreak further into his chest. He shakes his head in utter disagreement, a disgusted grimace on his features. “You're not. You're. not. I was foolish and childish, and I was not ready for you.”

“But you're ready now?” You interject in disbelief.

“Yes,” He states firmly without hesitation. He steps up again. This time, your body visibly tenses, but you don't move away. “I'm more than ready. I need you.” He takes another smaller, gentler step forward. “I hate that it took you leaving for me to see that, but I do.”

“Sy-”

“Please. Please. Don't say it's too late. Don't say we can't try again. Please, just one more chance.” He looks down abruptly like a private who just got caught looking at a superior officer. He's begging. He knows how he hurt you and your trust. Like a dog showing its belly, he's trying to show you his submission. Ultimately, it's in your hands, but he's determined.

You stare at him while trying to decipher the mess in your mind. “Sy.” You say a bit more calmly. His demeanor doesn't change. You sigh, “How do I know you wouldn't just fall back into old habits? What if, even after all this, you just repeat the same closed book bullshit? What's different?” You try to find his eyes, but they remain downcast as he stays still.

“I've been promoted.” He states a bit detached, purely stating fact, anything you want from him. “I'd no longer be in the field, no longer deployed. I'd be in one place.” He purses his lips into another right frown. “It's the start of what we used to talk about.” He says, words laced with hope and nostalgia. “Remember?” He tests, voice as soft as silk. Your eyes sadden even more, looking down with a miniscule nod. “I can settle down. Stop putting myself in the line of fire every day. I'd come home to you every night, wake up with you every mornin’.” His eyes soften as they peer up at you through his dark eyelashes. “Get that dream house.” He raises his brows with soft eyes and a sigh of a grin.

“Sy.” He quickly follows with your name before you continue. The gentle way your name rolls off his tongue makes your heart race at a concerning rate. “I,” you sigh, “I can't just run back to you after all this time.” You scoff out a sad laugh.

“So, let's just start with a date.” He tries again softly, melting your heart in your chest. “No pressure, no expectations, just one do-over.” His eyes flutter softly as his eyes return to their submissive downcast. “A reintroduction to the people we've become. A second first date.” He concludes. You can't help but let out a soft giggle despite trying to hold yourself together. Though it's sad, Sy has never heard a more beautiful sound. His chest swells with hope.

It takes time for you to make up your mind, and he gives it to you. Your everything was already screaming at you to say yes, but you couldn't let him know that, so you took your time. “Okay.” You cave. Sy's brows shoot up, and his face breaks out into a huge, mouth agape smile. The image of pure, overjoyed surprise.

He can't help himself but close the distance between you and scoop you in his arms, twirling you around, with a victorious laugh. The shock of it all and contagious joy causes you to let out a small giggle. He looks up at you in his arms and drops you down enough to plant a kiss on your lips. Though quick, the kiss was filled with nothing but longing and love.

As if realizing what's happened, he's quick to gently set you back down and take a step back, returning to the same distance you were at prior. He is a bit awkward with his hands before setting them on his hips. He still has a bright smile on his face, “I,” he huffs, “You have no idea how you've just made me the happiest man to ever exist.” He tries to just quickly move passed what just happened. “So, could I, maybe, get your number?” He says, trying his best to contain his joy.

You laugh, admittedly a little awkward. “It's the same one.” You fidget, “I can, uh, I'll unblock you, as long as you have the same number as well, I mean.” You stumble. He nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, it's the same one.” He sighs, content. His eyes are filled with admiration and adoration, like you hung the moon and stars single handedly. It was everything you ever wanted from him to see his love within him.

You quickly pull your phone out and unblock his number on the spot. “There.” You shoot him a quick text. Even after all this time, his tagname never changed in your phone. You hear his phone ding moments later, and he pulls it out with an even brighter smile and a sigh of relief. He never thought he'd see your name pop up in his notifications again. Once again, it's always the little things that are missed.

“Are you free this weekend? Friday night, maybe?” He asks. You give him a small smile and a nod. “Great! Great, I'll- I'll pick you up? We can get dinner after work and…start over.” He sighs. He's both a little sad and over the moon. He wants nothing more than to do a quick catch-up and just start pouring his love into you, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. You give another small smile.

“I can't wait.” You say. He nods curtly. “You can tell me all about your new job.” His face brightens at you, showing interest in him again. He steps forward to stand beside you, holding out his elbow.

“Let me walk you to your car.” You breathe out a small chuckle before hooking your hand in his elbow, taking back to the café parking lot. Just a few paces in, Sy leans in closer to you to whisper in a low tone, “I know we're going to go slow, but I just want to say… I missed you.” You look into his deep blue eyes before looking down at his mustached lips.

“I've missed you too.” You whisper back with a small smile.

The remainder of the work week, Sy was notably different, even getting some teasing comments from coworkers. Your friends tried tearing into you, asking why you suddenly looked like the life returned in you, but you kept your lips sealed. You were taking things one step at a time with Sy.

The most anyone got was “I have a date.”

____

I hope you liked it! Thank you so much for the request, Anon! I hope I did it justice. (sorry it took so long. I've been a bit under the weather😅)

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Swisslist (General Taglist): @rosecentury @solacedthistest

[nyctophiliq]

your heart doesn’t forget:

so many things have happened in the last half hour that you have been down here, from being threatened with a gun, seeing a military corporal get a bullet through his head, and then be taken up to the third floor of the mansion because el sin nombre wanted to see you for themselves and what you were about.

“i wasn’t expecting to see you again.” the sicaria says after sending all the guards out and pulling a chair opposite of you, intending to take a seat. you shake your head and furrow your brows, not fully understanding what she is trying to point out. she in a sense seemed familiar, but you could hardly place her anywhere in your life where the two of you might have met.

you couldn’t make sense of her features when you told her that the two of you had never met, so that might be a clue why. she didn’t seem hostile, just... sad, maybe it was the way she looked like she would fall apart at any moment or the way she seemed to hold herself upright despite how weak she looked. she opened her mouth as if she was trying to say something but didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

she stands up from her place, pulling the knife from her belt and you flinch back in fear, rattling in your seat. maybe you should have stuck with the knowing part, rather than continue with the truth and nothing but the truth.

"no reason to force something if it was so... forgettable for you." she mutters, taking an exaggerated step forward. you brace yourself, holding your breath, wondering how she's gonna end it all for you. just a stab to make it quick? a slash across your throat to see you suffer for something you couldn't help? you didn't know but you knew you weren't ready for any of it.

but the pain never comes after you screw your eyes shut, waiting for the blade to slice across your neck and the warm blood to pour over your hands, to feel how much it hurt, but there is nothing. just the pain around your wrists disappearing and something light dropping onto the floor. you open your eyes to see her standing there, looking at you with no malice or anger in her face. just pure sadness. 

she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose while putting the knife back on her belt.

"go... go before i regret letting anyone see me like this." she mutters under her breath, walking over to the window. the sunlight catches her skin beautifully, causing it to glow a soft pinkish shade and you think she looks so... perfect. you feel an aches forming in your chest, something tugging on you to look away and it almost feels like you are drowning, but...

you can't be caught up in all this, you have to go and help the others- you have to find el sin nombre.

"tu corazon no olvida." the sicario murmurs, looking at the sky and you are halfway out of the door you were dragged through when you hear it, the voice of a lover.

"mi escorpion?" simple words that spoke louder than any book or history, because your heart just simply, doesn't forget.

a/n: can you tell i might be losing my mind? YES YOU CAN TELL PLEASE ALL THESE CHEESY STUFF OR WHAT NOTS, anyway... uhm... hope you guys liked it, thank you for reading !!!

[kelli-be]

ARE YOU SURE you are ARMY?!?!

I refuse to let anybody dim my Are You Sure?! light. I have enjoyed every single moment of this show. I have watched episodes more times than I can count.

I don’t expect anything from these two except that they just enjoy these precious moments together. I am so grateful that I get a window in even though I understand it is only a window. I am perfectly fine with that. I am grateful for anything they’re willing to share.

I refuse to pick them apart and use anything to decide if they are or are not anything. I enjoy these moments in history with them. I just feel so grateful to have found all of BTS. They are such an enrichment and an uplifting force in my life.

I love the dynamics of Jimin and Jungkook. Although I feel in my lover’s heart of hearts that they are the couple I think they are, I don’t need to focus on that all the time. Most of the time I just want to enjoy watching them and experiencing these moments at the same time in history as they do.

I will be so very excited to see them all back together again and at the prospect of a world tour because you better bet I will bust my ass to get there. Whatever I have to do.

But in the meantime, I keep myself away from all the negativity. I refuse to hate any of them, I recognize their humanity and know they make mistakes. No one is perfect all of the time and expecting them to be so is unfair to them and can end up being such a stress and strain on a fan if they expect to see that. Where is the Fun in that for anyone?

In the end, I am so grateful that they chose to do this and to take time for these precious moments with each other and yes, even with Tae.. because in the long run, they said that their trip to Jeju was made better with his inclusion. And I believe what they say.. not to say that I don’t sometimes think I see what they don’t say lol. His inclusion most certainly did not cheapen their beloved moments with each other. Seeing them all three get to enjoy each other before military service was lovely.

It is my fondest wish in this huge, potentially majestic fandom that everybody quit worrying about what they want to happen and just sit back with this lovely window into this world of these amazing men…all of them and just enjoy it. They are all a gift.. they have given me so much joy and such a lift up in my stressful life. We always need to remember that we should be a gift right back.

Squabbling over who is with who and who isn’t… Demeaning bonds, and friendships and possible partnerships.. attacking members shows such a lack of emotional intelligence, a lack of maturity and a lack of gratitude for what we have been given and for the sacrifices they make to give us the joy they bring..

I always ask myself what this group would be like without any one of them.. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW and I don’t see how anyone can call themselves ARMY if they want any one of them to leave. And I just want any of those people to remind themselves that if these seven had not meshed if they had not been chosen to form this extraordinary group… If they had not fought so hard to learn each other accept each other and get along, to choose each other as BTS over and over again.. you would not have that one member you want all to yourself.

I watched them hold each other up and keep each other going and I wonder why we can’t do the same as ARMY. We almost lost them.. but they chose to come together and stay together. Why can’t we? Even if we don’t agree about things, we truly don’t really know anything about. Why can’t we just agree to calmly disagree and keep going our merry lucky way… Just something to think about. 💜💜💜

[love-lilly02]

The Challenge

The reader has a bit too much to drink and ends up making a deal she might regret...

Originally, it had started out as a good bit of fun. 

The boys had just returned from a mission, broken down and bone tired but glad it was over. It was one of the more rough ones, where they lost more friends than anyone would have liked, but a success was a success. 

To celebrate they went down to a nearby karaoke bar, and somehow they convinced you to come out with them, even though your specific skill set hadn’t been required on the mission. 

You turned them down multiple times, stating that it was your self care night (to which they responded that having fun is self care) but really, who were you to deny the four men anything?

Which is how you found yourself standing on a stage screaming the lyrics to “Sexy” from mean girls. 

Quite honestly, you were doing a pretty damn good job, which was evident by the encouraging screams of both military personnel and civilians alike. the entire bar seemed to thrum with life as you sung and dance, and the task force just watched in awe. 

maybe you had had a bit too much to drink. 

Finally, after the song was over (and after a standing ovation) you stumbled back to the corner booth, laughing at the boy’s bewildered expressions. 

“What, never heard me sing?” You asked, sliding into the booth with only a smidge less grace than you usually possessed. 

“Well lass, i wasn’t under the impression you could sing,” Johnny fired back, smiling wildly. “was fuckin amazin’ kid!”

You smiled at him and ducked your head in a mock bow. “I took theaters in high school, it’s nothing special.” 

All four heads snapped to you so quickly one of them had to have gotten whiplash. 

“You. Took theater?” Price said, fixing you with a disbelieved look. 

“Yes, captain. Yes i did.” You lean back in the booth, just now noticing that Ghost has draped his arm over your seat. 

“Now this is gotta see,” Gaz said, laughing to himself. 

“Oh- good luck finding anything. I got rid of all those photos years ago.” They all look at each other, before turning back to you. 

“Is that a challenge?” You hear Ghost’s deep voice rumble, dangerously close to your ear. 

“Yes…” you squeak out, not dairing to move away from him. “Actually, let’s make it just that. Whoever can find more than 10 photos of me before my junior year of high school wins.” 

They all look at each other again, before Johnny speaks up. “Why tha’ year?” 

You just shrug. “Changed schools then, looked like a completely different person.” 

They all nod. “What do we get if we win?” Gaz questioned. 

You took a moment to think it over, pretending to tap on your chin and everything. “I’ll do whatever you want for a day.”

Maybe you did have too much to drink. 

Their eyes practically bug out of their heads, even Ghost looks shocked at the prize. 

“Whatever… we want?” He questions, his eyes still wide. You can practically see the gears turning in his head. 

“Mhm,” You say, nodding. “As long as it’s not a mission day or something, I have to do whatever you tell me to do for twenty-four hours. Kind of like an ‘I cant say no’ day.”

They all not hurriedly, quickly agreeing to the plan. 

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a deal!” You smile, downing the lasts of your drink. 

(may be a series i have a few ideas for this)

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