#yes 600 were for the chapter im actually trying to finish

[gingerwerk]

wrote 1200 words today, slay

[uniformbravo]

hmm so that uh,,, fic i was writing

the one i talked about the other day uhhHH it’s 619 words now & i think it’s done? like i’ve come to a point where i could call it done but i really want to add more to it and make it so that rather than a standalone short little thing it’s more like an introduction for a longer fic?

but the problem with that is there’s a much smaller chance of me actually finishing it if i do that because like. i have a concept for what i want the general /theme/ of the fic to be but no actual ideas for a plot or anything and i mean i’d be fine planning smth out & then going for it, but idk if im gonna be able to stick to a project that big in the long run? i mean it’s not like im setting out to write a big huge 50k multichap or anything, i was thinkin more like. around 4k maybe

but yeah idk because the thing is. this 600 word thing was more of a conceptual style of writing as opposed to like. scenes with dialogue and actions & stuff. writing in vague concepts and metaphors is very much suited to my writing style and i mean i can do scenes with plot but it takes way more out of me to do, which is why im worried i wont finish if i try it (though i wonder if planning it out beforehand would make things easier on that front?)

im just conflicted bc i really like how this short version came out & i rly want to share it but if im gonna add more later i want it all to be one thing together, not different chapters or different parts of a series, u know? it has to be Together

ugh i just really want this to come out nice; i guess technically this one is a second draft of the one i was previously working on? because ok the fic i was working on at first was literally just supposed to be the dumbest self-indulgent shit just to get it out of my system but the more i worked on it the more i started caring about it and wanting to make it good which meant me realizing that it was just. bad and unrealistic and lacking the Punch that i wanted (bc i tend to get very carried away when writing angst Whoops)

so i decided to start over and really try to explore this concept with the depth it deserves rather than just basically writing “I’M SAD” for 2,000 words gdjkjskdg it was like. the previous version was me hardcore projecting onto the characters (which i mean theres nothing wrong with that it was meant to be bullshit in the first place) and that was a good rough draft like good stage one

now Stage Two is examining the characters and tweaking the situation to be more realistic for them (while still secretly projecting onto them from the back row heheuehaehaheho) and idk just treating it more like a character analysis than anything? exploring their own thoughts and feelings & then throwing them into a room together and seeing how they interact based on those feelings

i guess my goal with this second version is to imply things rather than state them outright which is p much what i was doing the first time. like, the first one was very in your face about how Sad the characters were when in reality said characters tend to be very secretive about their emotions so it should be a lot less straightforward and more like, something u can piece together throughout the course of the fic, and if it’s ever straightforward about the sadness, it should be after there’s been enough time to see it coming, u know. give it a proper buildup. foreshadowing and all that. i know how to write

so yeah uh HOPEFULLY i can get myself to write a thing bc if i can pull it off i think it will be.... very cool..... and also a good writing exercise like not just arranging words to sound good but like putting together a story and trying to integrate themes and make characters feel real and yes if i think about it that way i think this can be fun

uh the end (sorry this was such a vague MESS)