#yeps. thats what mr john doe looks like to me

[kathinkapng]

Would you take him to the cinema?? 🥺🥺🥺

[songs-abt-teeth]

an AU my friend came up with that i just expanded on

but anyway, idk what prompted it, but one day my friend came up with this au revolving around jonesy and midas. this takes place during tje events of season 15 i believe, where all the loop stuff was going down and where jonesy betrayed slone. im trying to figure this part out, but basically jonesy gets thrown into the loop and gets spit out in a completely different dimension. he came fell into some random field. scared shitless and disoriented, he begins to wander the field in a slight panic. "shouldnt havr fucked with the loop," he thinks. "should NOT have gone against slone. should have stayed put. should have— oh look a city". in front of him in the distance was the start of a road, and down the flat road was a city. he begins to run down the road, hoping he was just spit out in some random field on the island. however, when he gets to the city, he finds that its actually a completely different city that hes never seen in his entire life. feeling defeated and alone, he hopelessly wanders the streets of the city, taking in the faces thay walked past. to his surprise, he actually reconized some of them. however, they were faces hes only seen; he couldnt put a name to any of these people. not wanting to embarrass himself, he stays quiet and continues to wander aimlessly.

in the middle of wandering and self-loathing, he sees a familiar face. a face that he could actually call by name; midas. "pls why him of all people," he says to himself. but seeing as midas might be his only way out, especiallt considering midas hops in and out of the loop so maybe ended up here now, he decides to approach the man. he goes up to midas and probablt says sometbing like "hey um ,,,, ur name is midas , right?" midas expression changes from shock to fucking anger. he grabs jones and drags him into an alleyway, pushes him onto the ground and plants his foot on his chest. he then points a gun at mr john jones and probably asks something along tje lines of "who are you and how do you know who i am??"

jonesy is all like "WOAHWOAHWOAH OK HANG OM DOTN SHOOT I CAN EXPLAIN" and then procreeds to explain why hes even here. midas, ofc, looks at him like hes crazy. "u ppl come up with the dumbest fucking excuses," he says. right before he pulls the trigger jonesy frantically explains firther in depth why he even knows midas. midas narrows his eyes at jonesy and slowly lowers his gun. "well," he begins. "i ,,, guess i kind of believe you. i have these weird fuckin dreams every night and they , oddly fit the exact thing you just described to me" jonesy being relieved yet still scared shitless asks something along yhe lines of "ok um.........now that we got that settled , whyyy did u point a gun at me exactly........."

midas just looks down at the man, and takes his foot off his chest, and puts the gun back into a secret little pocket (not before turning tje safety on bc yk , he isnt abt to shoot himself bc of a dumb fucking thing). he still doesnt respond but instead offers a hand to mr jones. jones takes the hand and dusts himself off

midas then says something like "come with me." jonesy stupidly complies and midas takes him to his car and begins to drive. whilst driving midas asks jones to continue talking abt the universe , so jonesy does.

"hm," midas says curtly after the long explantion. "interesting."

"mmmmhm, yep... yessir," jonesy replies, still scared for his fuckitn life. "so um......r u gonna....explain why u pointed a gun at me? and where exactly ur taking me?"

silence

"ur not gonna, yknow, kill me, are u?"

"mmm... havent decided yet."

"oh thats ,,,,,, reassuring"

silence

until midas speaks up again. "i probably shouldnt be telling you this," he begins. "but you seem crazy enough to not say anything to anyone about it. the reason i pointed a gun at you is because midas is not my name, at least to the public. to the public, my name is richard, or rich... honestly, whichever you prefer as long as you dont call me dick-"

"snrrk," jonesy laughs

"u shouldnt be laughing. especiallt when u know i have a loaded gun with me"

"oh uh right , my bad"

"mhm, anyway. midas is... a codename, if you will. what i do is risky, and even more risky to tell others about"

"do u like work for the government or somethinf? like a spy?"

"no, not at all. if anything, the government would kill me on the spot if they found out what i did"

"oh thats nice"

"really is"

"so uh

what-

what do u do

exactly?"

"...i own a hitman agency," he explains. "specifically, the biggest one in the state"

"o,,,oh." what the fuck is a state

"so you can understand why i freaked out"

"yeah i can ,,, i can understand that"

"and i figured that, with both of us having jobs thay nobody can find out about, i could trust you. at least somewhat. we both know life-threatening things abt eachother, so i figured neither of us would fuck with thay"

"yeah ,,,,,,,, thats , thats fair

so um have u ,, decided whether you wanted to kill me or not?"

"hm... im thinking the latter, but it depends on how the rest of the car ride goes"

"where are you even taking me?"

"dunno," midas smiles

"are you serious."

"dead serious. i planned on telling you about why i threatened to kill you, bit its not exactly something i can openly admit to in public. we needed to be somewhere private. if im being honest, ill probably drop you off where i found you

say, whats your name, anyway? you might as well tell me since i told you mine," midas/richard says, giving jones a sideways glance

"oh uh john," he replies. "john jones"

hate to disappoint, but this is all i have planned so far for the au. i have basic ideas planned, but its not enough to tell the full story. however, thanks to my adhd fortnite and this au is all i can think about most of the time, so ill probably update this au frequently and make more posts about it lol

[macklives]

welcome to mack’s first 400k slowburn novel

here it is, all of the act 4 walkaround game bc im a lazy ass who didnt want to make separate posts for it

the imp

is a cat

...

huh

i thought they were like.. an imp

yknow what i mean

weirdly enough this looks like rose’s sprite. which.... im guessing the imps are based on the kid’s kernelsprites? so whenever a kid prototypes something, the imps mirror that prototype with themselves. which is why we see a jester-like cat octopus. that would make so much fricking sense considering we just saw rose enter the game. god imagine what they would look like after jades session. because if it just continued to evolve and evolve after every sprite, they would be a mix between so many different things.

youre so precious what the fuck, you look so squishy

:OOO <33

yep, thats how you do it john idek if they speak english

MORE <3 :D

oh you can ACTUALLY talk??

oh... that is..... very nice

sure why the fuck not

im going to put dad’s shoe in just to see how confused the other recipient will be

well thats BULLSHIT

might as well just send the jar of bugs back to them then

yeah imagine trying to scratch your head and you bonk it with a hammer on accident

oh so it doesnt matter what you put in because it will just transport to the other side wherever another parcel shoots in

very handy

:( 

why would “the slumbering one” do that, those poor beings

this slumbering one sounds like a fucking jackass

he basically imprisoned the fireflies, sent in the imps, brought oil to the land and clogged up their pipe system with it and then slept after all was done

so the imps are.. brought in by “the slumbering one” then? does that make them the “agents" or is that the higher title for the imps? 

because if it is a higher title, then im guessing jack/his crew are the agents who sent the imps to this planet, considering they seem to be the boss of the imps. well... under the authority of the queen that is.

also, that makes so much sense if you think about how they came from the purple kingdom of darkness and not this planet alone. they just inhabited it due to the planet’s jackass.

so will that be johns goal then? perhaps where the second gate it? with the slumbering one?

we all have our traditions, homie, you guys just like pipes

ah so these things are called consorts. isnt that cute? and theyre happy john is here 

aww me too honestly, im happy to see john again as well

you, sir, are my favorite consort

your ancestors were fully against the crumplehat, how dare you slander their name

so that big tube for mail is called a parcel pyxis? also the way they deliver things is so cute i love consorts

they talk about the breeze a lot but what really is it? like actual breeze? perhaps its the fog? idk

they have a whole speech just ready in case anybody asks about it

imagine coming to a planet only to be called the “heir” like wouldnt you be so confused?

yes but he’s the heir of what exactly? this land? the consorts? and from whom?

you tell him everything BUT the important facts, nanna

see, even john knows

AND SHE DOESNT SAY ANYTHING ELSE OF COURSE

god shes very vague but i love her

:’) wholesome, you legally have to keep it as a gift now, john

thats so cute that they think johns house is in skaia when its really a whole planet away, bc they cant see it due to the fog

john hates them but i am buying it bc i am not john

im going to take that as a personal challenge

the slumbering jackass >:(

"wytchkraft-majyspelles” i love these little guys so much, im going to use that from now on

they look very nice, i love those robes, mr. wizard

making you a little nervous? are you kidding me hes so precious

if they like cruxite and is so important to the consorts, then perhaps john should sell some on the sidelines and get bank

well once he finds a way to climb back up to the house to make them i guess

oh never mind

bank failed

only dad gets to call john champ, coward

john wouldnt even sell all his boondollars for that suit, he loves it too much

john is a business man confirmed

he is becoming like his dad asjsjhsh

owo whats this

okay that seems to be about it for everything i COULD find but fucking damn was that a big map. hopefully nothing important was lurking in some corner? well its fine, unless its extremely important and plot-centric i probably would prefer only being told rather than having to explore more of the land. bc its quite confusing to get around and was rather long.

anyways, wowza that was fun and the music is great

mad respect for everyone here

[lj-writes]

Reylo fan videos: An out-of-body experience

After watching a couple of Finnrey videos and the shitshow in the comments I fell to thinking: The thing about Finnrey is that the footage is all there for a good vid with emotional resonance. The whole movie, after all, is about Finn and Rey being there for each other, risking their lives for each other, and facing their traumas together.

I’m afraid I then grew morbidly curious about what a Reylo fan video would look like. Would they actually romanticize scenes of violence and torture?

Well, you know the answer to that already. I found myself staring in fascinated horror as  Kylo Ren leaned over a shackled Rey to romantic music. My “favorite” part was probably where Rey had the Stormtrooper JB-007 release her bonds and Kylo chased after her, set to the lyrics “When you leave I’m begging you not to go.��

If you recognize that line, one of these videos used “Crazy in Love” by Beyoncé. I’m not sure what to say about that, using a Black feminist artist’s song in a video that erases the canon connection the female lead had with the Black male lead in favor of shipping her with a man who was repeatedly violent toward her.

The videos I watched also did an impressive job of being almost exclusively white, given how much screentime Finn and Poe have in the movie the footage was taken from. Hux features much more prominently in these videos than Finn, who showed up for like two seconds with no lines.

Also the videos were so… bad? I won’t fault the footage or sound quality, since the vids were evidently made before the Blu-Ray came out and were remade in HD since. (Now that’s dedication, I’ll give them that.) But they dragged on without much in the way of pacing, and long stretches were just the Kylo Ren vs. Rey lightsaber battle set to music.

I don’t think it was due to lack of skill, since the videos featured some cleverly-timed edits and other evidence of knowhow. Rather it seemed a result of the sheer lack of footage. Cutting Finn out so assiduously means that many of the scenes where Rey is being happy and badass are also gone, but I get the feeling Rey’s happiness is not the point here.

Yet one video had comments in the hundreds and the other, thousands. But I’m sure that was just because Reylo is so inclusive and Finnrey shippers are gatekeeping blowhards, as Reylo shippers love to say. I mean you should have seen the way Finnreys yelled the racists off the comment sections, such gatekeeping!

Despite the much greater volume of comments I didn’t see ship negativity or derailing, in contrast to the Finnrey fanvids, other than people popping up every now and then saying “The’re cousins!” and Reylos politely arguing against them. Nevertheless a lot of the comments seemed to come from an alternate reality. Below the cut are a few that stood out for me:

[Image: A user asks, “Did anyone else notice the obvious sexual tension in the interrogation scene?” Another answers, “Yep”]

Ah yes, the “obvious sexual tension” of torture. How could I have missed it?

[Image: A user asks, “Does anybody think the delay for the next movie is possibly because of the obsession with Reylo? They said they are doing some rewrites of the script because of the characters, I just thought it was sort of funny. Maybe they are spying on your guys fanfiction?]

Yes,of course  the filmmakers are going to delay the movie, costing potentially millions of dollars, because they read Reylo fanfiction and saw the light.

[Image: A user says, “When i first saw the movie, I shipped Finn and Rey but I also saw the attraction with Ren and Rey. Watching it again, I really hope they are not related because I see the understanding between the two. Ren is completely reedemable, the poor guy is just incredibly lonely. It’s obvious. He thinks being dark will make Darth Vader proud. He’s just lost and broken. I think Ren and Rey will understand eachother because she grow up all alone her life. She’s lonely too. Which is why he has compassion for her, because he feels it too. Plus he took off his mask in front of her like nothing. He obviously felt something like trust. Also his hesitation is real when it comes to harming her. Finn and Rey are great together but there is more of a story with Ren and Rey. It would be much more beautiful. Darkness felt something for the light, and the light felt something for the darkness. Love is about understanding a person, compassion, and a strong bond that brings you together. Thats what I got from Ren and Rey. Which is why I hope they aren’t related and fall in love.”]

So incredibly lonely he commits mass murder and tortures people. We’ve all been there, sister. Also he actually hesitated before hurting her, as opposed to, you know, not hurting her. Truly the stuff of romance!

[Image: A user says, “The moment he rendered her unconscious and took her in his arms, so gently, my God… He could have made his stromtroopers carry her to the ship, but instead… I don’t think they are related cause it would be too obvious if she was Luke’s daughter, I think the writers wanted us to think she so…but I don’t think she is of Skywalker bloodline, maybe Kenobi p.s. He took off his mask for the 1st time in front of HER. I see it as a sign that she will be his path of redemption in the sequels”]

The moment he assaulted her and kidnapped her, so gently, my God… Also note how centered the language is on Kylo Ren, what his motivations were, what he might have felt, what he did, while Rey is simply the passive object of his actions and “his path of redemption.”

[Image: A user says, “this reminds me of the zutara times… I really hope I won’t be disappointed again ㅜㅡㅜ” to which another user replies, “I feel you… I mean why do they always go with the mainstream ones?”]

Reminds you of Zutara, eh? I mean I think that’s an insult to Zuko who actually drew the line at genocide, but in terms of the ship crashing and burning…

[Image: Fingers crossed!]

Also notice how they call Finnrey “mainstream,” which is reflective of the way Reylos in general think of Finnreys. I mean we’re so “mainstream” our fan materials get less than half the comments and we get racists and antisemites in the comment sections, but sure, we’re so mainstream.

[A user says, “Well, that does it: Mr. Driver and Ms. Ridley need to co-star in a proper romantic flick!”]

I wonder why this person thought TFA was lacking in the romance department? What was the problem that requires the male lead to be Adam Driver instead of John Boyega?

For all Reylos love to pose Finnrey as the political SJW ship and Reylo as the apolitical ship filled with pure romance, none of what I saw here is politically neutral. It’s not neutral to erase characters of color from fan commentary on a movie that featured them as main characters. It’s not neutral to say violence against a woman is sexy and romantic. It’s not neutral to say a movie would be properly romantic only if two white actors were in the lead. Reylo is a deeply political ship, except it stands for the politics of the status quo.