#yep got the tag wrong pffft

[pixlokita]

Wanted to draw @tzitzimitl-eztli ‘s Freddy bear with baby bear Greg :’v just love your arts sm they make me cry my eyes out sometimes so cute ( °̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥˟°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ )💖

[ajokeformur-ray]

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 

 Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no. 

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3 

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is. 

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too. 

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG 

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 

“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 

HOYYYYYYT 

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 

brewing insanity..... 

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 

the moon is a silver dollar... 

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY 

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass.... 

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 

someone needs to teach you social interactions... 

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 

bestest party clownnnn 

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid 

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 

ew

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing 

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics 

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours 

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life 

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU 

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg 

good luck getting me out of it pfffft 

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 

givin me ideas.... 

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 

gonna put people off their food doin that 

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 

erika.exe has stopped working 

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM 

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~ 

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~ 

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT - 

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~ 

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 

“kill the rich” lmao relatable 

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 

sleepy bb ~ 

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh... 

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense... 

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life 

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me... 

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance 

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~ 

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down. 

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

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MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~ 

dancing  towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR 

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

~

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown...... 

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

[kaileah-kat]

I’M ALIVE

Listen, school is t r a s h. It takes my free time and my motivation to do anything, hence why this took so long.So, without any further ado, please enjoy part two of the supermarket!au drabble.

Here’s part one

Word Count: 2,574

Pairings: None

Characters: Virgil, Emile, Logan, Belial (Deceit), and my character. His name is Kyle :,)

Warnings: UNSYMPATHETIC DECEIT! HE REALLY SUCKS! Narcotic mention, general stupidity, swearing... I think that’s it?

Tagging of the peeps:  @bunny222 @unknownsandersfan @confinesofpersonalknowledge @spectacled-renegade @roman-is-a-gay@fearfilledvirgil @tisithelittleelephant @altruistic-skittles @kittyinthemoon @virgilcrofters @arnyanimaltrash156 @wildheart49 @an-ace-up-my-sleeves @cyberpunkjinx @phlying-squirrel @jay-son-toddler @romanthroughthestars @samathekittycat @rockypond101 @purplepatton @luckybanana948 @metaphoricalpluto2 @lukatheignoramus @that-one-invisible-chick

Virgil was going to kick Kyle's ass.

He loved his best friend, don’t get him wrong, but sometimes Kyle was just too much for him to handle. It was just like watching a small child, making sure they don’t kill themselves as they run around in circles in the living room.

This just happened to be the one time Virgil wasn’t watching him carefully.

So as Virgil entered the store, rather sneakily to avoid anyone with remotely any authority, he made his way back to the dairy cooler where he found Kyle starting to eat a mango yogurt.

“You know that’s illegal, right?” Virgil questioned as the door to the cooler shut.

“Not if it’s a day before it expires,” Kyle stated in a matter of fact tone as he continued to eat the yogurt. Virgil just stood there in disbelief as he watched his friend.

“... You disgust me, but I need to talk to you.”

“Spill the tea!” Kyle said enthusiastically as he threw his, now empty, yogurt container into the trash can. Virgil could also hear a faint “yeet”.

Virgil hugged his body and let out a deep sigh. He wished he had worn his hoodie, not only for warmth (because damn, it was cold in there), but because he felt like he needed some form of safety and security around him.

“Why’d you put sleeping medication in Belial’s coffee?” Virgil's voice wavered between annoyed and confused. He noticed Kyle's' eyes go wide for a split second before they went back to their normal size. Kyle plastered on a wide smile before he answered.

“Technically, Kane did the heavy lifting-”

“Kyle that’s not the fucking point,” Virgil interrupted with a groan, “it was clearly your idea and I want to know what in the actual hell would possess you to do something so stupid!”

Kyle sighed as he brought his hand up to start rubbing the back of his neck, searching for any explanation he could possibly give his friend.

“Well, I figured if he was asleep for three and a half hours he couldn’t bother you,” Kyle began, dropping his hand back down to his side, “I know you don’t like him, and he enjoys being a dick. I also knew you’d already hate taking my register shift. So, I wanted to get rid of one thing you hate about being up there.” Once he was finished he gave a small smile.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Virgil thought to himself. Why did Kyle have to have a heart of gold but the brain capacity of a goldfish?

“Kyle I appreciate the thought of that, but you could’ve got in serious trouble!” Virgil started to raise his voice. “You could’ve got suspended, or fired! Don’t you realize that?! Probably not, because sometimes you just don’t use your brain!”

Kyle’s small smile tightened into a flat line. He didn’t want this to happen, honestly. He just wanted to make Virgil's night a little more bearable. He seemed to do the exact opposite.

“Honestly, it doesn’t even matter because you’re off of the hook anyway,” Virgil finished, lowering his voice to now practically a whisper. He sighed deeply as Kyle’s face shifted from disappointed to terribly confused.

“What do you mean?” Kyle began, “How am I ‘off the hook’?”

Virgil opened his mouth, but the sounds that followed didn’t come from him. They, instead, came from the intercom that almost wasn’t able to be heard in the cooler.

“Virgil to the HR office, please. Virgil to the HR office.” Belial asked, ever so nicely.

He was screwed.

With a sigh, he uttered a “That’s how.” to Kyle before exiting the cooler and immediately feeling goosebumps appear throughout the surface of his arm.

•••

Virgil made his way to the front of the store as slowly as he could possibly manage, only putting off the inevitable. Silently cursing his past self for letting Patton and Kyle convince him to apply at Rainbow Mart. “If I didn’t listen, I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

However, that didn’t really matter right now. What did matter was that he needed to take the fault for his friend. Kyle was the only person persistent enough to ever want to be his friend, so he figured taking the blame would not be that bad.

He then went through every possible scenario in his head.

“Well, I could get fired, for starters. With that comes not only ruining my own reputation but also Patton’s. Mom and Dad would also be disappointed, I’d prefer that didn’t happen. Maybe they’ll just suspend me, I could deal with that. Sure, that means I don’t get paid for a period of time, but at least I’ll keep my job. They could kick me out of grocery and put me back on front-end for the rest of time. In that case, I’m probably better off quitting. But-”

Virgil's train of thought was brought off course when he saw the door with a familiar stitch magnet on it, already hearing some bickering on the other side. He took a grounding breath-in for four, hold seven, out for eight-before knocking on the door.

The door opened and he was greeted with an ever-smiley Emile. His hair was a brighter pink than the last time Virgil saw him, therefore it must’ve been re-dyed.

“Virgil!” Emile greeted, stepping out of the office and shutting the door. For that brief moment, Virgil could clearly hear every word that was being said and before the door was shut Logan could be heard saying “You son of a-” before being cut off. Emile stood there for a second, his mouth in a flat line before he said, “I think it might be wise if we give them a second.”

“That works for me,” Virgil gave a half-hearted chuckle, wishing he had the safety of his hoodie. It was warm and safe and right now he just felt too exposed. Like Emile could see the secret he was keeping.

He won’t be able to tell. It’ll be fine

“Good! Good, because I know you didn’t do it.” Emile stated, crossing his arms knowingly. Virgil's eyes went wide and he swore his heart did some sort of jump thing.

Fuck, he’s on to me.

“Pffft. I mean- you don’t,” Virgil scratched the back of his neck as he remembered how to formulate words that are comprehensible in the English language, “you don’t know that for sure.”

If he wasn’t on to me before, he certainly is now.

Emile raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “So you’re saying you ruined your perfectly clean track record and put a narcotic in Belial's coffee?”

No.

“Yep.”

Perfect.

Emile brought his head forward and sighed as he uncrossed his arms to open the door behind them, with the two men inside still bickering like siblings. Silence followed when Emile’s presence was noticed.

“Alright kids, how about we get this thing rolling?” Emile opened the door nice and wide and walked in, leaving Virgil to trail behind him. Once they were in, Emile shut the door and Virgil positioned himself so that he was standing in front of the door as Emile grabbed a couple of papers from his desk. Belial and Logan were sitting at the circular table in the center of the office, on opposite sides of one another.

“I still don’t see why we’re going through with this,” Belial began as he rolled his eyes, “he’s guilty! Let’s just fire him and move on.”

Logan pushed his glasses up and pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed, “I’m going to ignore everything you just said, especially since none of it was backed up by actual facts and that there is clearly a stick up your-”

“Boys!” Emile hastily interrupted and the room was silenced once again.

Emile continued as he walked to the table and sat down, “I know we all don’t exactly get along but maybe we can all work out our differences and no one has to get fired.”

With that, Virgil released a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He won’t be fired, meaning life was good. He’d probably just be suspended. At this point, he’d take anything that didn’t involve him losing his first job. He made his way over to the table and sat down, slouching a little, wanting to become as small as humanly possible.

“Now,” Emile began as he folded his hands on top of his papers, “have we thought about going to Remy?”

“Though that would solve all of our issues, considering he has the key to the asset protection office, Remy is currently MIA. I’m sure he’s asleep in the conference room again.” Logan said as he adjusted his position in his chair.

Emile looked at Logan blankly, blinking a couple of times to show his confusion.

“And you’re just going to leave him there?”

“He’s not any use if he’s half awake while trying to operate the store cameras, Emile.”

Emile rolled his eyes, for his brother was somewhat correct (like usual). Emile turned to his left to look at Belial, who currently had his arms crossed, and asked, “Are you okay with leaving Remy out of this?”

“I would really prefer if we just got straight to the part where we discuss what do with the grape sitting next to me,” Belial grimaced, “I don’t think we need a Starbucks addict to do so.”

The other three men in the room felt the tension quickly increase with Belial’s statement, and Virgil could be seen trying to attempt to shrink into the seat more than he already had.

“Alright then,” Emile started with a sigh, “If this is what we want then Virgil will just have to, truthfully, admit to what happened.”

Virgil’s eyes widened as he realized the others were now looking at him, clearly waiting for some sort of response. He sat up straight and put his hands in his lap, beginning to fidget with the hem of his polo. He looked up at Emile, who had this sympathetic look that said: “I know for a fact you didn’t do it, so don’t take the fall.”  He looked over at Logan whose face said the same thing, but more serious than sympathetic. He didn’t bother looking over at Belial because he already knew he had a grin on his face that said: “I won.”

Virgil opened and closed his mouth, torn between telling the truth or lying to spare his best friend. It felt like his vocal cords where stuck, not wanting to produce any noise. (The fact that Belial was in the room also wasn’t helping the situation.) His lips pressed into a flat line and he decided to speak… just not in a way that the others would understand.

“I’m not guilty, but I’m fine with Belial thinking I am.” Virgil quickly signed as the others just blinked in confusion. He hoped they would just forget about it and move on, but no. Belial, just took the opportunity while he had it.

“Well, he just admitted he did it! Case Dismissed!” Belial stood up and headed for the door before being interrupted by Logan.

“You don’t even know what he said!” Logan raised his voice in annoyance, “Any time Virgil ever signs something you sigh because you don’t know what’s going on.”

“I have to agree,” Emile started as Virgil frowned, seeing his attempt for freedom slowly fall to pieces, “this isn’t fair since we all have no clue what Virgil just said.”

Virgil slouched back into his chair as Belial turned back around the face the group. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well then,” Belial began, “what now?”

“Simple,” Logan got up from his chair and went to open the door. Once opened, he shoved Belial out of the office, “you grab Kyle Hurst from the dairy department. He knows ASL and can translate.” Before Belial even had the chance to debate, the door was shut and Logan started to make his way back to his chair.

Virgil shut his eyes and quietly sighed at the mention of his friend's name.

Fuck.

~~~~

Belial soon returned with a smiley Kyle, shutting the door behind them. He sat back down in his seat and Kyle just stayed close to the door.

“What’s up?” Kyle asked innocently in order to break the silence of the room.

“Kyle,” Logan began, pushing up his glasses, “you speak sign language, correct?”

Kyle smirked and brought his hands up, signing a “yes” while also saying the word verbally.

“My older brother is deaf.” Kyle explained, moving closer to the table.

Emile smiled at Kyle. “Awesome!” He began enthusiastically, “Because we really could use some help translating.”

Emile quickly looked over at Virgil before turning back to Kyle. Virgil also decided to look up. He made eye contact with Kyle and he gave Virgil a small smile. Virgil smiled back, before signing a “Let me have it. Don’t be stupid.” while the others weren’t paying attention. Kyle nodded and decided to pull up one of the other chairs that were at the edge of the room and sit next to Virgil.

“Alright Virgil,” Emile said, “want to repeat what you said earlier?”

Instead of repeating exactly what he said, he signs, “I put the narcotic in Belial’s coffee.”

Kyle nodded and the others looked towards him in anticipation.

“Well?” Belial said, impatiently.

“He didn’t do it.” Kyle straightened his posture and Virgils eyes were wide and full of disbelief.

This motherfu-

“I knew Virgil didn’t,” Logan interrupted Virgil’s thoughts, “but who did?”

“Kyle I swear to God you better take that back or I’m going to break your legs.” Virgil signed rapidly to Kyle as the latter just smirked.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it Don’t do it. Don’t-

Kyle turned to the others at the table, with a smile still on his face. The others sat waiting, some more impatient than others.

“I put the pill in Belial’s coffee.”

God damnit.

~~~

Virgil was going to kick Kyle’s ass.

Sure, he wasn’t in trouble anymore. But did Kyle really have to be a good person and take the blame for something he did? Virgil didn’t think so.

So here he was, briskly walking through the hallway as he pushed pass the mass of people to get to Kyle’s locker. Once there, he shut said locker, grabbing Kyle’s attention.

“Is this where you ‘break my legs’?” Kyle smirked playfully as he leaned against his, now closed, locker. Virgil smacked him in the arm and Kyle let out a tiny “ow”.

“I could have taken it!” Virgil screeched, “I told you to let me have it!”

“Yeah, but that’s not fair to you.” Kyle sighed and re-adjusted the bag that was on his shoulder. “You were right when you said that I don’t use my head. Next time I will definitely think before I do anything remotely stupid.”

Virgil gave a small chuckle, “I’m sure you will. Does this also mean less time in detention?”

Kyle gave an inward hiss and he shook his head, wrapping his arm around the smaller ones shoulder and started walking in the direction to their English class.

“I can’t make any promises,” Kyle said, receiving a sarcastic groan from Virgil, “I can think about it though.”

“Well, that’s all I’m really asking for.”

[julia-highstorms]

Satisfied (Jax x Lily) - NSFW

Summary: This fanfic takes place in an AU during Chapters 10 - The Massacre and 11 - The Den, when Jax rescues Amy (MC) and Lily and takes them do the Shadow Den as his guests and he shows them how a good host he is. *wiggle eyebrows*

Author’s note: my submission for Choices Creates #65 - Non-canon couples by @clonedhayden! I loved how Lily fangirled so hard over Jax (me too, sis, me too!) and they shared so many things in common (starting by their love for trashy movies lol and especially after Lily chose to go with the Clanless in today's chapter and now I won't see my two favorite characters sigh), and I lived for that threesome scene, so… All characters belong to Pixelberry and some of the dialogues here are from the game. If you don’t want to see this kind of content in your dash, please, filter the tag “#Jax x Lily”. And no hate will be allowed towards my favorite bi mess nerdy best friend cinnamon roll girl!!!! And I'm laughing with this summary because it is so cheesy lol I can't even stand myself sometimes

Pairing: Jax x Lily

Rating: 18+/NSFW (I'm pretty sure it's almost impossible to write a vampire fanfic without smutt so…)

Word count: 4034

Tagging @clonedhayden @priyasayeed @itsalliepg @boneandfur @ladynonsense @walkerismychoice @darley1101 I'm sorry if you didn't want to be tagged on this!!

If someone had told Lily Spencer a week ago that she would have been almost killed by a vampire, then Turned into one by her best friend and roommate's boss, and then be in a (vampire) themed masquerade ball, she would have definitely laughed on their face and asked "dude, what are you smoking? Because I need some of it".

But that was exactly what happened. And now, she and Amy were just back to New York. One second they were dancing and having fun in that ridiculously fancy masquerade ball and the next… a bunch of vampire zombies came in attacking everyone. Adrian told them to flee and stay safe. Since their apartment wasn't safe - she almost died there a couple of nights before - and with both Adrian and Kamilah out - they stayed with the other Clan leaders having an emergency reunion after the attack -, Amy called this “Clanless rebel leader guy” she knew whose name sounded like as if he was a videogame character, Jax with a ‘x’.

“This is the ‘safehouse’?” - Lily asked as both girls followed Jax’s directions to a run-down warehouse in Hoboken. - “Cuz, uh, it feels like sketch city.”

“This is the address he gave me. If he doesn’t show up in five minutes, we’re going back to the—“

Suddenly a shadow appeared next to Lily and Amy, startling them both. Lily hid behind her friend by instinct.

“Amy.” - the dark haired man said with a low, husky voice. He wore a leather jacket that fitted perfectly into his body.

Damn, he was hot!

“Jax!” - her friend shouted in response, a hand on her chest.

Lily felt Jax’s eyes looking curiously at her ripped gown.

“You’ve got a Clan it seems. So what do you need me for?” - he calmly said as he waved his hand towards the Brand Adrian gave her.

“Uh… it’s kind of a long story…”

“I’m immortal. I’ve got time.” - Jax crossed his arms above his chest, his muscles visibly flexing under his jacket. Hmm.

“We were at the Awakening Ball…”

“Pffft. Elitist wankery.”

“Ha!” - Lily couldn’t contain herself.

“Really, Lily?” - Amy glared at her.

“Sorry. I mean, it was fun, but at the same time I agree. Is that wrong?”

“Please, go on.” - Jax said to her best friend, after nodding at Lily in agreement.

“Well, a bunch of Ferals got in and started attacking everyone. The Council members fought back and killed them, but now tensions are running high while they try to figure out who let them in…”

“And unrest in the Council means unrest for the Clanless.” - Jax scowled. - “Come with me.”

He led them down a side alley where the walls were covered in old posters and ads. He stopped in front of an ancient poster for a movie titled ‘Blood Sacrifice: Dracula’s Revenge’.

“Oh man, this movie’s so good. The part where Dracula rips that dude’s throat out and uses it as a straw…”

“That’s my favorite part too. Always nice to meet a vampire with taste.” - Jax grinned at her and Lily felt her cheeks flushing. He was insanely hot and liked cheesy-looking horror movies full of unnecessary violence and bloodshed like her! Maybe that night wouldn’t end so bad after all. He hooked his hand behind the poster and slid it aside, revealing a ladder descending into darkness. - “After you.”

They took the ladder down into an abandoned subway tunnel. Famous last words. Now they were going to be killed there. To where was this dude taking them again?

“This is it?” - it was eerie and dimly lit, and their words echoed off the walls when they talked.

“Um… how well do you know this guy again, Amy?” - Lily nervously whispered to her friend. Jax gave them both an appraising look before continuing down the tunnel wordlessly. She and Amy shared a look, before following.

“How long ago were you Turned, Lily?” - he asked as they walked further and further.

“Not that long. A couple of days.”

“You seem like you’re adjusting well.”

“I’ve had a lot of help and support.” - she smiled, remembering Adrian’s warm welcome to his Clan and Kamilah helping her adjust with her new super sensitive senses and strength. With her new life, basically.

“Must be nice.”

“She was lucky to get a special approval after her Turning, because Adrian saved her life after she was attacked and left for dead…”

“I’m so grateful to him.”

“Screw the Council.” - Jax scowled.

“What?” - why he was so suddenly mad?

“Why should it be up to six vampires of a secret council to decide which of us lives or dies? Shouldn’t we all have that right?”

“Well…” - Lily didn’t think much about what it meant being a Clan vampire. She was just so excited and overwhelmed by her new life that she never thought about the other side. About what that meant to those who were Clanless. She didn’t even know about them, to be honest. But when Jax said it… - “Actually… yeah. It’s a bunch of bull, isn’t it?” - he took a deep breath.

“I’m glad for you. None of us deserves to die. I just hope you see the injustice of it.” - he said, much calmer.

She did.

Amy and Jax got into a discussion about the Clans and the Clanless, his people… Lily felt her head spinning with all the new information.

“So wait, let me get this straight. You’re like the hot, badass leader of the rebel vampires? That’s an actual thing that you are?” - she asked him.

“Clearly, I need to update my business cards.”

“Amy, why didn’t you tell me you had such interesting friends?” - Lily asked her friend, her eyes longing on that man walking in front of her, looking at him under a new light. Oh, he was so her type.

“Wild times, Lil. In our old lives, I would have just introduced you over drinks, not wandering through some deserted, old…” - Amy stopped short as Jax led them around a corner…

...To a vast, abandoned, Art-Deco style train station that’d been turned into a vibrant underground village.

“This is the Shadow Den.” - he gestured around them with a proud grin on his face.

“This place just went from creepy to amazing in two seconds flat.” - Lily said with her jaw dropped open. - “It’s like a Mediterranean village constructed by Imperator Furiosa!” - the 1920s Deco mosaic ceilings arched over shops, food stands, and elaborately decorated private quarters constructed from found objects... - “But what… what is it?”

“It’s our home.”

“I thought you said that you have to move constantly? This looks pretty darn settled.”

Jax started explaining to them about how the Clanless worked. It was far from ideal and Amy said that Adrian would want to help them if he knew how things were, but Jax didn’t want to risk the Council learning about the Shadow Den and he wouldn’t bet his people’s lives on ‘some CEO’s compassion’.

“So… is it cool if we hang out here? Just until it’s safe for us to go back up.” - Lily thought it was better ask him, since he felt all this hatred towards the whole Clan and Council thing.

“Yes. You’re under my protection and welcome to stay here as my guests. Let me show you around…”

He strided deeper into the Shadow Den and she and Amy walked down the main thoroughfare behind him. The residents came running up to him, hugging and greeting him like as if he was some kind of a rockstar. As if he was their God.

“Wow, he’s like the Clanless Beyoncé…And also, like, alarmingly hot.” - Lily murmured with dreamy eyes. Oh boy, she was crushing so hard on him. Amy shushed her. - “What?” - realisation hit her hard. - “Oh my God, did you…?”

“No!” - and then Jax suddenly turned back to them, interrupting their conversation.

“Lily. Have you fed recently?”

“Yeah, but I could eat…”

“We have plenty of blood in our feeding lounge.”

Those were the magic words. Lily suddenly felt her throat dry. She was so thirsty. She was so lost in her mind thinking about the sweet taste of blood, that she didn’t catch up Amy's and Jax's entire chat, just that he could cook something for her best friend.

“You’re good with a sword and you cook?” - what the hell? Where this man had been in her entire life?

“It’s not often I get to cook for guests, but I dabble. I’d like to think I’m pretty good.” - he grinned confidently before turning back to Amy.

“Bad. Ass.” - Lily mouthed to Amy over his shoulder. Her friend rolled her eyes, but she had a smile on her lips. Yep, she was totally fangirling and crushing on that hot cook rebel leader vampire. They both were.

“Or if you prefer, you can find some things to eat in the central square.”

“I’d love to.” - Lily saw a coyly smile on Amy’s face that she knew  very well what it meant. Oh, her girl was getting laid. Hell yeah!

“Excellent! I hope my knife skills aren’t too rusty. That was a joke. I keep my knives sharpened and polished at all times.” - he said as if it wasn’t clear enough.

“I’m sure you do.” - Amy kept smiling at him.

“Lily, I’ll have someone show you to the feeding den.” - Jax said, gesturing to someone to approach them.

“Thanks! You two have fun.” - Lily winked at her best friend, who rolled her eyes again, before wrapping her in a hug.

“You’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’m getting the vibe these are my kind of people.”

And then, a vampire led her towards the center of the Den, into an elegantly canopied tent. But there was this ridiculously long line. The vampire told her to wait, although she didn’t want to. She was hungry to the point to starving, and that would be a problem. Kamilah told her about bloodlust and to be careful about it. She thought about asking as gently as possible to trade places with someone, but everyone glared uneasily and suspiciously at her. Lily didn’t blame them - she was an unknown vampire in their house - and didn’t have the guts to talk to anyone either, so she walked back to the central square.

Moments later, a dark haired figure in a leather jacket that she knew met up with her.

“Oh good, you’re here!” - she didn’t try to sound so excited to see Jax. He was alone. - “Where’s Amy?”

“Sleeping. It’s the dead of the night and she’s a human after all. Did you get to feed?”

“Not yet. I tried, but there was a long line, and I didn’t want to butt in… Plus, everyone was like glaring at me.”

“The residents here can be a bit hostile towards outsiders. I can go with you and make sure that they won’t attack you.”

“Oh, I don’t want to cause any problem—“

“It’s not problem at all. You’re hungry and deserves to feed too. And you’re a guest. Guests should always be a priority.” - and then he led her inside to the feeding lounge.

While Jax talked to someone, Lily took a good look around. The place was a room full of humans sitting quietly on couches and floor pillows, allowing themselves to be fed upon vampires. Her eyes instantly light up at all those exposed necks, at all that dripping blood. She licked her lips hungrily, feeling her tongue slightly touching her now extended fangs.

“Done. They’ll find you a donor soon. We just need to wait for a couple of minutes.” - Jax said, bringing her back to her senses.

“Thanks, I mean it. I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me and for Amy.”

“Please. As I told you before, you are my guests and I’ll personally make sure that you find your staying here as pleasurable as possible.”

Hmm, 'pleasurable'. She knew damn well how he could please her...

“...I imagined the feeding lounge so different from this.” - she shook her head, dismissing those thoughts. That was not the time to be all horny too, she already was feeling hungry! - “I imagined it more like a dungeon where you kept people in cages or whatever.” - Jax laughed beside her.

“You watch too many movies.”

“I guess it is because of the videogames, actually.”

“Oh, I liked playing videogames too. I had a Nintendo Color TV-Game myself.” - her jaw dropped.

“Shut up! It was released in Japan only!” - he grinned at her.

“Another perk of being Japanese, I guess. Part of my family still lives there.”

“This is so cool!” - but before she could ask him which were his favorite animes and mangas, someone approached them saying that they found her a volunteer.

Jax guided her towards a couch, his large and rough hand on the small of her back.

“Uh, hey.” - Lily awkwardly waved to the young woman in front of her.

“Hello.” - she simply said, looking used to it. In fact, she was scrolling through her phone.

Her neck was totally exposed to Lily, but she couldn’t move a single muscle.

“Is there a problem?” - Jax asked beside her.

“Uh… actually, this is the first time that I feed on someone with so many people around… In Kamilah’s place the volunteers were each in one room… you know?”

“This is no problem. We have individual rooms for the shyer ones.” - he grinned at her, teasingly. - “I just never thought that you were one of them.”

“Shut up.” - she rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushing. - “Can we go there?”

“Of course. If it’s no problem for you too.” - he asked the girl in front of them, who simply shrugged and followed them towards an adjoining tent.

The rooms were separated by curtains, but Lily noticed that they probably were the only ones there, since the rest was in the main lounge.

The donor plopped down onto the couch comfortably. Lily sat by her side, her finger tracing her jugular.

“Do you know how to do this?” - Jax asked, watching her tensely. He decided to stay close, ready to stop her if necessary. He knew that recently Turned vampires didn’t know when to stop.

“I guess so…” - Lily murmured, her eyes already shining red and her fangs extended.

“Just go slow, Lily.” - he said, standing behind her.

And then, with a swift move, she sank her fangs into the girl’s neck, who gasped in shock, before moaning with delight.

Her blood was so sweet and delicious. Lily groaned against the woman’s neck, her eyes closed, taking in the sensation of the blood running down her throat. She held the donor closer, tightening the grip on her waist, and the girl moaned again, waves of pleasure hitting them both. It was so intoxicating, so delirious. She felt a shiver running throughout the girl's body as her own body started feeling hotter and hotter.

“...Okay, that is enough.” - she felt Jax’s hand on her shoulder. Lily didn’t want to let her go, it felt so damn good… - “Lily.” - she heard his firm voice again.

Reluctantly, she pulled away from the girl and sealed the punctures in her neck. Lily’s tongue ran over her lips, caressing her own fangs, trying to taste any last drop of blood.

“Wow, that was… that was something else.” - Lily grinned at the girl.

"Yeah… It was." - the volunteer had this look of total bliss on her face.

“Thanks for your donor.” - Jax told the stranger as a vampire came into the tent and walked the still looking blissed girl out of there, leaving Lily and Jax alone.

“Damn, that was so good!” - Lily squealed, slumping back down, her hands running over her thighs. She looked up to Jax, still standing up beside the couch. - “Thanks, Ja—“ - her voice died when her eyes locked with his, that were shining bright red.

Lily felt goosebumps all over her body by the way he hungrily glared to her. She could feel the electrified air between them.

“I’m impressed. You’re very good at feeding on people.” - he said, his voice low and husky. She giggled, but he kept saying: - “...I won’t say ‘no’ if you want to do it.”

Her heart leapt inside her chest, and her eyes faded to red again, her fangs back, arousal running throughout her body.

“Is Amy going to be okay with this?” - she asked as Jax sat beside her.

“Why shouldn’t she? I care about her, but it’s not like we’re exclusive or something. This is just the second time we met each other.”

“Yeah, but you already fucked.” - Jax chuckled.

“The flesh is weak, the tensions are high and we should relax, don’t you think? Plus, she never mentioned it, but I know she has feelings towards Adrian Raines. The way she talks about him is much more than just a ‘professional admiration’.” - it was Lily’s turn to laugh. Jax was right, Amy was so into her boss.

She couldn’t blame her best friend, thought. Adrian was a super kind and nice dude and he was her Maker, so she would always have a special connection with him, but… Lily never had the hots for the crazy rich CEOs… and she was as horny as scared of Kamilah. That woman was something out of this world and so out of her league.

But Jax… Jax was totally her type. She would never be able to deny him.

Without saying anything else, Jax leaned in and kissed her lips. Lily felt his fangs brushing on her mouth as they kissed each other urgently and passionately, none of them thinking anymore, just being led by their own lust.

She slid his jacket off his shoulders and Jax tugged of his shirt too. Her hands immediately started caressing his strong chest and powerful arms. With her ultra sensitive senses, she could feel every scar on his smooth skin, his smell enveloping her, his heart beating fast and heavy on his chest.

“Wow, you’re just… wow.” - Jax chuckled with her remark.

“You’re too. But I guess I feel a little undressed now.” - he pointed to the fancy gown she still was wearing.

“Oh, I might need some help getting off of it… will you help me?”

“It’d be my pleasure.” - Jax grinned, his fangs exposed. Lily turned her back to him.

He slowly undid the fastenings of her dress, his hands caressing the soft skin of her back and his fangs gently scraping her neck, clearly teasing her.

God, she wanted him so bad. She was so hungry for him.

As soon as Lily was free from her dress, she impatiently discarded the rest of her clothes, under Jax’s gaze.

“Now, you’re overdressed.” - she said, before leaning in and meeting his lips in a lustful kiss. He kissed her back with the same intensity while he tugged off his pants and boxer briefs in one swift move.

She suddenly shoved him and Jax chuckled softly when he felt his back hitting the couch beneath him. Lily climbed on top of him, her hands clinging onto his broad shoulders, her tongue trancing from his collarbone to his jugular.

“I want you. Now.” - she purred, practically ordering him.

She saw the glance of Jax’s smile before he slid inside her. Lily groaned with the sensation of him filling her, her nails digging into the flesh of his chest.

“So good…” - he murmured, his rough hands around her waist, holding her tight as he thrusted in her. Lily moaned as she rode him.

The sensation of him all around her was so overwhelming. She wanted more. So much more.

She sank her fangs into his neck, sucking his blood. He gasped under her, but melt into it, the sharp pain quickly turning into something much more pleasurable. Lily moaned again. Somehow, it felt even better than that girl’s blood. It felt as dense as a full bodied red wine. So, so good.

“I’m not food, Lily.” - Jax said, although he didn’t sound angry at her.

“Oh shut up. I know you’re enjoying it as much as I am.” - she whispered when she finally pulled out of his neck, licking the blood dripping from her lips.

He grinned at her and pulled her face against his, his fangs deliciously biting her lower lip and he tasted his own blood. She moaned when his hips started pushing assertively forward at her, faster and deeper, bringing her close to the edge. Lily moaned louder and louder until those hallucinating waves of pleasure hit both of them as they came almost at the same time.

Lily laid on top of him, both of them panting, their skins hot and sweaty against each other. She could feel his heart pounding under her fingers, her head resting on his shoulders. His neck was already completely healed.

“Wow.” - she murmured and he chuckled underneath her.

“I’m pretty sure everyone heard your moans from the feeding lounge. And they know that it wasn’t just because of the feeding.” - he said, twirling her purple hair around his fingers.

“Let them hear. This was just…”

“‘Wow’?” - Jax finished her phrase, chuckling again. She felt his other hand running up and down her back.

“This too. But mostly, hot and incredible. Like you.”

“You flatter me.” - he pulled her chin towards his and kissed her tenderly, but passionately. - “But as I said, the satisfaction of my guests is my priority.” - he smirked at her, and Lily giggled.

“You’re a very damn good host, Jax.” - they stayed like that in each other’s arms for a few more minutes, until he finally sighed.

“As much as I wished I could stay here the whole day, I need to take care of some things and do my errands.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to take more of your time, hot-badass-rebel-leader.” - she said as they sat on the couch. He grinned at her before starting dressing himself up. She did as well.

“Ugh, is there any place where I can find new clothes? Corsets are awesome, but also, I like breathing.” - she asked as he helped her with the fastenings of her gown.

“Oh, I know the right place.” - he found a pen and draw a map on the palm of her hand. It tickled. - “Look for ‘Elena’. You should take Amy there too.”

“Alright, thanks!”

“I wish I could go with you.” - his dark eyes searched hers. - “Please, be careful. If my people find out that you’re a Clan vampire…” - she nodded at him, brushing her thumb on his worried face.

“I will. Thank you for your help, Jax. And for everything. And for this warm welcome.” - she mischievously smiled at him.

He grinned back at her and they walked out of the tent. Lily felt the vampires and humans eyes all over them as they walked back to the central square of the Shadow Den. Oh, they had definitely heard them.

And she didn’t give a fuck.

Jax gave her the directions to his private quarters and winked at her before going to do whatever he needed to do. As she walked there, she looked around the Den, the vampires laughing and talking to each other and the kids were playing. She got this feeling of a real community, where everyone got each other’s backs, where everyone was as important as the other. They were her kind of people and although she’s been there less than a day, she felt like the Clanless was where she belonged.

But she would think more about it later.

Lily found a peacefully asleep and naked Amy on Jax’s mattress.

“Amy, wake up!” - she plopped down next to her, startling her best friend.

“Lily!” - Amy squealed wide awake as Lily tossed her clothes at her.

“Let’s get us free from these clothes! I’m starting to feel my lungs aching inside this corset!” - her friend rolled her eyes.

“You’re so dramatic, Lil.” - Amy started to dress herself. - “Did you get to feed?”

“Oh yeah, I’m satisfied. There was this long line, but Jax helped me as a guest.”

“Jax is a great host, isn’t he?” - Amy said, with a dreamy smile on her face.

“Oh, the best.” - Lily agreed, grinning mischievously.

[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime, Sweetheart: Part 4

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF)

Features: Ackles & Padalecki Families, R2, Misha Collins & Vicky Vantoch, Norman Reedus, Andrew Lincoln, Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Ruth Connell, Corey Taylor and other cast members & OFCs* *THIS IS AN RPF FIC**

Series Masterlist Summary: (I’m horrible at summaries, but let me try): Kylin Ackles runs to her brother’s house after leaving her abusive boyfriend of 3 years, where she meets Jeffrey. Events unfold that bring them together, as well as push them apart.  Warnings: Emotional abuse, Physical Violence, mentions of rape, cursing, drinking, recreational drug use (weed), Strip Club, RPF, NSFW**, GIFs, implied smut, Age Difference, Slow burn, Emotional rollercoaster, poorly written smutt, etc… 18+ please

(A/N: This is strictly a work of fiction that I came up with off the top of my head. For fictional purposes his S/O & Son are not mentioned. I love him and his little family, though, so no hate intended. This is the first time posting anything on Tumblr, but I couldn’t get it out of my head since my ao3 fic is currently on hiatus because writers block. Feedback is appreciated. unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.)*I HAVE MADE A DECISION ON THE CHARACTER! KYLIN WILL BE PLAYED BY TAYLOR MOMSEN, NATURALLY I DO NOT OWN HER OR HER LIKLYNESS IM JUST USING HER FACE FOR VISUAL EFFECT.* TAGS: @jml509 @jesbakescookies

    Another two months had past since I had hung out with Jeffrey. I hadn’t seen him since, but he did send a bouquet of black roses to the bar for my 26th birthday in November, and we texted everyday. Whether it was a ‘Good morning,’ or ‘Goodnight’ or even, 'How is your day going?’ Sometimes we would get the chance to talk for hours, but with him filming and me working six nights a week, our busy-ness kept us content with just a simple 'sweet dreams’ at the end of every evening.       It was the beginning of a Wednesday night shift, 2 weeks before Christmas. I was behind the bar, getting it ready, when Andrea came running up to me with my phone in her hand. She waved it frantically in my face, pointing at the screen. In the  months that we had communicated, we had never spoke on the phone, but here was his picture flashing on the screen above the 'accept call’ feature. I swallowed thickly as my throat suddenly went dry and my eyes widened. ’Holy shit.' 

    I took the phone from her as I composed myself. I’m sure Jeffrey heard her screech in excitement as I answered with a stuttered, “H-hello?”

   "What’re you doin’?“ He drawled causally in a deep voice and I could almost hear the grin creep onto his face as he asked.       My cheeks instantly flushed again as I turned away from Andrea, sending her off with a wave of my hand. She pouted, but retreated back to dressing room to finish getting ready. I propped the phone between my cheek and shoulder as I resumed my task. “Workin’,” I replied, popping open the freezer. “I figured. You busy?” “Not at the moment, not open yet.” I began filling it with ice from the dispenser.    "I bet you look good as fuck in that little tank top,“ He flirted, "and those itty bitty shorts.”     “They actually let us wear pants in the Winter, thankfully.” I giggled, picking up a case of beer with a grunt as the bottles clanked together. “Don’t hurt yourself there, little one.” He chuckled at my struggle.    "Pffft. Screw you, old man.“ I jabbed as I pulled a few bottles out of the box and pushed them into the cooler. He gasped in mock surprise and let out a fake whine.      "Hurt my heart, baby doll. Don’t be mean.” His voice was gruff but there was a playfulness as he spoke that gave me butterflies.      "Awhh, is Jeffrey Dean Morgan insecure?“ I teased some more, not exactly sure where my sudden confidence came from.      "Not at all. Respect your elders.” He growled lightly with a laugh before continuing, “What’re you doing for Christmas?” "Family dinner with the parents. Jay and Danni are bringing the twinsies.” He didn’t waste a moment before trying again, "New years?” “Nothing besides me and Netflix.” “Come to New York.”     My eyes widened and one of the bottles slipped out of my hand and crashed to the floor into a thousand tiny pieces. “What?” I breathed, sure I hadn’t heard him right. “Come. To. New York. City.” Yep, I had damn sure heard him right. “Uhhhh…..” I stood there dumbfounded.     ‘What the fuck is this?’ Sure, I had naturally developed a crush on him immediately, let’s be real, he is who he is. The fact that he put forth the effort of attempting to contact me everyday had kept my heart fluttering since the morning after the last time we saw each other. And of course, there was the last time we saw each other. The attraction was impossible to deny. But I figured he our friendship as nothing more than the occasional flirt with someone who he’d seen in a dark place and wanted to help. Surely Jeffrey Dean Motherfucking Morgan had better things to do on New Years than hang out with his friend’s baby sister.    "Come on.“ He said after a few moments of silence. I tried once again to compose myself.    "Why?” I stepped away from the mess on the floor as the bar back made his way over with the broom.    "What do you mean, 'Why?’ I haven’t seen you in months.“ He sounded almost offended. "So?”    ” 'So?’ “ he repeated with a sarcastic tone,  "Really? Okay, sorry for asking. Just figured we hadn’t seen each other in a while, maybe you wanted to. Guess I was wrong, I’ll let you get back to work.” He huffed.    "Jeff, wait-“ I said quickly, hoping he wouldn’t hang up. The phone didn’t cut out but there was still silence on the other end, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out that way. I mean it as more of a 'why would you want to see me on New Years.” My heart raced in my chest as I attempted to finish stocking the cooler as the first few customers came in and trickled over to the bar.      "Why wouldn’t I want to see you?“ his voice was lighter, but still slightly offended when he finally spoke again. I sighed as one of the customers, a regular named Tom, took his usual spot. He held up a finger for a beer and I gave him a nod, handing him one of the ones in my hand.      "Hold on, Jeff- it’s 3.75 tonight, Tom. Don’t be cheap.” I pointed at the older man as I saw him pull a $5 bill out of his wallet. He put it back and grabbed a $10, glaring at me before sitting it down.        "Better.- Sorry Jeff, cheap ass old man. And maybe because there are like a thousand other things and people and women you’d want to ring in the new year with than little ol’ me?“ I jumped back into our conversation.    Tom flipped me off, shouting, "I’d want spend new years with her, but apparently I’m too cheap,” which earned him a bark of a laugh from Jeffrey on the other end of the line, the tension lifting.    "How would I even get there?“ I asked, stepping away from Tom to the other end of the bar for privacy. "On a plane.” It sounded so obvious.    "You do realize that tickets from Texas to New York are like a grand, right? I just now got caught up on my fucking light bill, Mr. Movie Star.“ I shook my head.    "Good thing you know a movie star then, huh, baby doll.” Once again, so obvious. “I can’t allow you to do that.”      "No one allows me to do anything, Dear.“ He said in a low gruff that did things to my heart-rate again. I sighed in defeat.      "Fine. I can’t say no, I guess. Send me the details.” I rolled my eyes and  I’m sure he could tell, “I’ve got to go, Tom keeps starin’ at my tits and I’m pretty sure I seen like 4 hundies in that wallet of his. Text me?” I glared back at the old man from across the bar as he smirked at my chest. “Rob 'em blind, baby girl.” he encouraged with a chuckle.    "Always do.“ I giggled before boldly pressing my lips to the screen and making a loud kissing noise, then hung up before he had a change to respond.       I turned adjusted my tank top a little lower before turning my attention towards Tom with a dangerous look in my eye. 

    Christmas dinner was a success, the issue was afterwards. As mom and I finished putting the leftovers away while Dani and the kids were playing in the living room with Josh and Kenzie and the new twins, Jensen strolled into the kitchen with my phone in his hand.      "Something you wanna tell me, Kylin?” He scowled, scrolling through what appeared to be my messages. I instantly stopped what I was doing and rushed him, leaping into the air to grab my cell from his raised hand. He pushed me away with his arm and continued to scroll.      "You’re going to fucking New York with him?!“ He shouted, voice booming through the vaulted ceiling. "Jensen Ross! Watch your mouth!” Mom scolded, hitting him with a dishtowel.    "Who’s him?“ Mackenzie and Josh questioned together as they walked into the kitchen with their pie plates. My family’s eyes were starting at me with anticipation.    "Er…One of mine and Jay’s friends….Jeff…rey” I looked around, avoiding the stares. Jensen coughed, waiting for me to continue,      "Dean…Morgan.“ I cringed before looking back up. Kenzie’s eyes were the size of saucers and my dad let out a choke of a cough.    "He’s uh, little older than you, don’t you think, sis?” My dad offered, looking at me with a concerned face.       “We’re just friends, guys. We talk, so what? I’ve seen him one time in almost 6 months. Its not like we’ve even gone on a date.” I defended myself.      "So fucking cool, why can’t any of your friends like me, Jay?“ Mackenzie shook her head as she walked out of the kitchen. Jensen and i rolled our way in unison.       "She’s a grown woman now, boys. She can make her own decisions.” Mom tried to help me as she noticed my father and brothers staring at me.       “Yeah, well, the last decision she made towards a man got her beat the hell out of and me almost put in prison for murder. I’m not going through that bullshit again.” Jensen seethed.      My mother and father both gasped at the same time and jerked their heads towards me. Josh’s mouth dropped open. Tears immediately spilled from my eyes at the sound of my brother’s betrayal. I had made him, and everyone else, swear not to tell them.      "Fuck you, Jensen. Fuck you. You wanna make it sound like my fault? Really? Fuck. You.“ I roared, stalking forward, "I’m going to see Jeffrey for New Years. I’m going to have a good time. I’ll probably make a few bad decisions while I’m there. And guess what, brother?” I was peering up at him now, my chest out. He glared down at me with his arms crossed. I raised myself up on my tip toes to growl in his ear, “There’s nothing you can do about it.”      I shoved past him and bolted out the door to my car. Speeding off before anyone had the chance to stop me.   

   "Alright, I need all bartenders and waitresses to be main bar! You know what time it is!“ The DJ boomed, letting the music of the song start as i rolled my eyes. I signaled for the bar back to take over as i made my way across the club to crawl up in the bar top with the other girls. 

   "Wobble baby, wobble baby, wobble.” boomed over the speakers as the other girls and i shook our asses in rhythm to beat. By the time the line dance was done i was sweating, and had the unmistakable sensation that someone was staring at me. I looked around the crowed while still standing on the bar. It was easy enough to spot the tall, lean man leaned against the wall in front of the DJ booth, arms crossed and a playful smirk on his face as he looked up at me. He wagged his head side to side as he pushed himself off the wall and made his way towards me. 

    “What are you doing here?” I gasped, still trying to catch my breath once he approached the edge of the bar. 

      “What do you think I’m doing?” He laughed, holding out a hand to help me down that i gladly took before practically jumping into his arms. He immediately wrapped me in a tight hug, wiping the sweaty hair away to kiss to my for head.       I pulled away to smirk at him suspiciously before pulling him into the direction of the V.I.P area. Once i got back around the counter i reached i to the freezer and grabbed him a beer, for which he was grateful. He took a long sip from the bottle before sitting it down and looking at me. I poured us both a shot of crown and handed it to him before leaning against the bar top to gaze back at him. He clinked the glasses together before pushing the amber liquid last his lips, inhaling sharply at the burn.    "So…spill” I narrowed my eyes as I brought my own glass to my mouth.      "Jensen called me,“ he started, receiving a groan in response from me as i pushed myself off the bar while tolling my eyes. I reached for the bottle of crown again.  "And?” I asked as I poured myself another shot, “come to tell me never mind?”    "More like make sure you’d still be at the airport tomorrow.“ He took another long sip of his beer. I toyed with the glass in my hand for a moment before asking, “really?” “Really.” His assured as his eyes met mine.    "Wouldn’t miss it for the world.“ I stared back with a defiant smirk before tipping my head back and taking the shot.

Jeffrey stayed at my bar the whole evening, silently observing me work. I was flirting with Tom, like always.

   "You give me a 100 bucks right now and I’ll fuck you!” I laughed, much to Jeff’s surprise. I could see his eyes grow large in the mirror behind me. Tom quickly smacked a Franklin on the counter that instantly grabbed and shoved down my cleavage, “Congrats, Tom, you just got fucked.” “Fuck you, Ky,” Tom whined    "Okay, okay, give me another hundred and I’ll think about it.“ I smiled coyly, flirting through my lashes. Gullible as ever, Tom threw another bill down.      "Okay, thought about it, no.” I squeaked as I snatched up the money. Tom groaned at being tricked again.       “What?” I raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence as I rejoined Jeff, who was shaking his head again.      “You are a fucking ruthless bitch, Ms. Ackles. And I mean that in the sweetest way possible” He laughed, taking a sip of the whiskey I had brought him.    "Please, thats nothing.“ I joked as I began preparing for close.   

   Once the lights had come on and the bar was cleared, I met Jeff outside of the club by my car.    "Where you staying at, Mr. Morgan?” I asked, taking a drag off the cigarette i had been smoking.  "I was gonna get a room.“    "Nonsense. I’ve got a perfectly good sofa at my place.” I threw the butt down and walked around to the driver’s side and peered over the top of the car at him. He stood there dumbfounded before popping an eye brow up quizzically.   I popped the lock and opened the door, “you coming?”

   The drive back to my place was comfortably silent. I was tired from work, and wanted nothing more than to take a shower and curl up under my fluffy comforter. Jeffrey hummed a long with the radio occasionally as I drove down the highway.     When we finally arrived at my apartment I let us in swiftly and tossed my bag and keys on the counter.       “Make yourself at home.” I sighed, watching as he looked around. “I’m going to take a shower and the. I’ll bring out a blanket.”       “Sounds good to me, hon” Jeffrey huffed as he plopped himself down on the couch, finding the remote and flipping on the TV.      I made quick work of my shower, changing into a pair of baggy sweats that hung off my hip bones and a basic tank top. I grabbed a blanket from the closet and made my way back towards the living room. Jeff had removed his shoes and sprawled out over the length of the couch. He had his feet propped up on one end of the sofa and his head rested on his arms on the other side. He had already fallen asleep and was snoring quietly with his mouth slightly parted. A smile rose to my lips as I covered him with the blanket and he let out a satisfied sigh. I kissed him on the fore head and made my way to my bedroom.

     The next morning when I woke up I ventured back into the living room to find Jeff had nuzzled himself into the back of my couch face first and was still sleeping soundly. I tiptoed into the kitchen as quietly as possible to start the coffee maker. Feeling my stomach grumble, I openend the refrigerator and leaned over to dig around for something to eat. 

   "Well I could get used to that first thing in the mornin’.“ Came a husky drawl from the kithen entryway. I instantly shot my head up and smacked the inside of the fridge. "Fuck!” I hissed as I pulled away and rubbed my head. “God damnit.”    "Didn’t mean to startle you, darlin. You alright?“ He chuckled, leaning against the counter.    "Errr.. yeah. Shit. Scared the piss outta me.” I cringed and checked my fingers for blood. “Is that coffee I smell?” he asked, rubbing his beard with another low chuckle.     “Yeah, it’s almost done I believe. You hungry?” I walked to the cupboard and pulled out two large coffee mugs, handing one to him.    "I could eat.“ he said with a grin as he took the mug from me, "you makin’ pancakes?”      "I could.“ I poured myself a cup and added my creamer. I took a sip and sat it on the counter as Jeffrey reached for the pot.

    A short time later we were both sitting facing each other at my dining room table with a large stack of chocolate chip pancakes in front of us. 

   "Holy Hell, doll face. This is fucking heaven.” Jeffrey praised with his hand in front of this full mouth. He rolled his eyes to the back of his head jokingly. I chuckled, shoveling a forkful in my mouth as well.

   "God damn, girl, you ate just as much as me!“ Jeffrey said as he sat back in his chair rubbing his belly after the pile of goodness had been consumed.     "My soul is the spokesperson for gastric bypass.” I deadpanned before cracking a smile as I stood up to clear the table. I walked around to his side to grab his plate as he sat forward to hand it to me. His face was right around eye level with my chest and his eyes lingered on the sliver of skin that showed in between my low riding sweat pants and my almost-too-short tank top before dancing up my body. I froze for a moment as my breath hitched under his gaze. He licked his lips and I could swear if I didn’t know any better that he let a low growl from his throat. I quickly took the plate from his hand and turned around for the kitchen. “Flight’s at 3:30, you packed?” He asked, joining me as I rinsed off the dishes. “Errrr, not entirely?” I hadn’t even started.     He chuckled, shaking his head as he ran a hand over his beard. I poured myself another cup of coffee and dug my cigarettes out of my purse before wandering over to the balcony door. Realizing what I was doing, Jeffrey joined me outside to light a cigarette of his own.    “So, what did Jensen say when you talked to him?” I questioned as we both leaned over the balcony railing.     “He basically told me he was gonna kill me if anything happened,” Jeffrey shook his head and chuckled as he exhaled smoke, “Your brother’s something else.”    I huffed a knowing laugh, shaking my own head back and forth as I took a drag,    "Yeah, I know. He’s stupid. He actually tried to insinuate everything with Anthony was my fault. Right in front of our parents.“ "You know he means well, girl.” “Could show it a little better.”      "Well, if I had a little sister and she was hanging out with a guy like me, I would probably kill them both.“ He joked, ashing his cigarette off the side of the rail.       "Yeah, well, I’m a big girl. I can handle myself, contrary to his very wrong opinion of me.” I directed my eyes to his profile as he did the same to me. He took a sip of his coffee, “You know, girl, I worry about you sometimes” “Why’s that?” I inquired as I took a sip from my own cup.     He dragged his cigarette again, seeming to gather his next words, “You’ve changed since the first time I met you. You’re…rougher.”    "Getting over getting the shit beat out of you almost every day for three years will do that to you.“ I narrowed my eyes at him.    He shook his head again before turning to face me, propping himself back up against the railing, "I guess my first impression of you was false. You seemed so….broken, before. Fragile, almost. Now you’re….” He let his eyes roam over me once more, “like I said, rougher. But in a good way. You’re not taking any shit. I can dig it.” He nodded.    I accepted what he said for a second, taking the last drag from my smoke before tossing it into to the street below. I sipped my coffee again before speaking,    "He beat the fuck out of me. All the time. He controlled what I did, what I wore, who I talked to. I wasn’t 'allowed’ to talk to Kenzie for almost a year because she popped off at him one day for calling me a cunt in front of her.“ I seemed to be shaking my head free of memories a lot so far as I looked back out onto the street.       "I don’t get guys like that. Stupid. If you were my woman, you’d be treated like the god-damned queen you are.” He turned to toss his cigarette as well before back to me.        We stared at each other for atleast a minute not saying anything. I was slightly dumbfounded by his words that caused my heart rate to increase. He gently reached out his hand to take my coffee cup from me and set it down on a near by table. Once done, he took my hand and pulled me to him for a tight hug, fingers rubbing circles on my back. I closed my eyed as i wrapped my arms around him, inhaling deeply.    "You need a shower” I pulled away while wrinkling my nose.  

   "I guess it’s probably too late to tell you I absolutely hate flying,“ I hollered into my living room as I pulled on my fuzzy black boots and tucked my yoga pants into them.    "Yup. Too late to back out now, missy.” He chuckled as he walked to the bedroom door and leaned against the door jamb, clad in a lost pair of Jensen’s jeans that had surprisingly fit him perfectly and a band shirt that I wasn’t sure who it belonged to. I sighed dramatically as I stood up and walked over to my closet, pulling out my coat and his blazer I’d been keeping. “Finally get this back, eh?” He shook his head as he reached for it.    "Shut it,“I retorted with a laugh as I pulled my coat over my shoulders and walked to hallway to retreive my freshly packed luggage. “You ready?” He drawled, eyes flicking across my frame. “As I’ll ever be.”

   "You really weren’t fuckin’ kidding, were you, Doll?“ Jeffrey huffed, shaking his hand that had been glued to mine since the moment of take off.    "Fuck you, I’m not some hot-shot who gets whisked around on jets all day. Shit could’ve exploded or something.” I glared at him as we walked through the gate towards baggage claim.      He threw his head back and barked out a laugh while tossing his arm over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and looked up to him as I heard the unmistakable 'click’ of a camera.       “Mr. Morgan! Mr. Morgan!” was shouted as a group of obvious reporters scuddled towards us, “What are you’re plans for New Years?”       “Have fun with that.” I laughed I ducked out from under his arm and headed to get my bags off the rotating belt, leaving Jeffrey to deal with is adoring public.       “Arent you Jensen Ackles’ sister?” Someone asked as I reached for my bag that had finally appeared. The young lady stepped up beside me with her phone in her hand, note pad opened up. “Err…yes….” I said as I pulled the suitcase off the belt.      "And you’re here in New York with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, correct?“ she pushed her glasses further up her nose as she looked at me with anticipation.       Not knowing where to go with his, I looked over to Jeff, who was still being harrassed by the other paps. I turned back to the girl and smiled. "It would appear that way, wouldn’t it?” “Is it true that you are dating him?” she typed on her phone as she spoke. “Ha! No. Jeff is a very good friend of mine.”   She looked up at me from her phone and smiled brightly, “That’s not what he said,” “And what did he say?” My heartbeat picked up instantly.    "That he was here to spend New Years with the most beautiful woman in the world.“    "Well, then it would appear that my friend has a date for New Years.” I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously as I grabbed my other backpack that had came into view.       “I do have a date,” His asphalt voice came from behind me as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I jerked at the touch and shifted my glare to him.      "With this beautiful lady here. Now if you don’t mind, we must be off.“ he nodded towards me while looking at the girl, smile playful on his face as he pulled me away.     "That’s going to be on the internet in like an hour, you know that right?” I sighed as we both crawled into the backseat of the Uber that’d been waiting for us. “It’ll be alright.” he chuckled. “Jensen’s gonna kill you. If I don’t first.” “He’ll be alright, too.”    I huffed out another sigh as I looked out the window of the car, “So, tomorrow night is a date, huh?”      "That was kinda my goal, you could say” I could hear the smile in his voice even though I wasn’t looking at him.     “You know, there’s a reason why I’m not a model or an actress, right?” I turned my attention back to him. He was leaning back with his shoulder against the door, elbow on his knee and his hand rested against his fist. He had a smirk on his face as he answered, “And why’s that?”       “Because number one, look at me. I don’t really scream 'Hollywood,’ and two, look at me.” I gestered to my appearance.  

    “Baby girl, you’re better lookin’ than any of them. I wasn’t lying when I said 'The most beautiful girl in the world.’” His eyes shined a little brighter.

     My face grew hot at his words of praise. Never had anyone called me that. I stared at him for a while from my side of the seat until he chuckled at my stare and moved his arm to wrap around my shoulder and pull me closer to him. I leaned into it, letting my head rest on his shoulder as I scooted over.

    Sure enough, the moment I sat my bags down in Jeffrey’s apartment’s doorway, my phone started buzzing with my brother’s face on display.

“Fucking Hell,” I rolled my eyes as I hit 'accept,’ “what do you want now?”

“Having fun?” His tone was sarcastic.

“Fuck you, dude.” I looked to Jeff who was looking at me. 

“Are you with him right now?”    "Yes.“ I said as I watched Jeffrey as he moved closer to me, reaching down to grab my bags.   “Of course you are. Probably cuddled up in bed right now, huh?” “What are you insinuating, brother?” I narrowed my eyes and growled. “You know exactly what I’m insinuating.”    "Okay, Anthony,“ I growled at the choice of name, but that’s exactly who he was acting like, "Anything else you’d like to punch me with?” “Fuck you, don’t compare me to him”    "Fuck you, Jensen!“ I shouted. Jeff came back from the hallway and walked up to stand beside me with his arms crossed, "Don’t talk to me like he did then.”    Jeffrey’s eyesbrows furrowed as he realized what was happening. He held his hand out for my phone. I shook my head and moved away from him slightly.    "Then stop being such a fucking whore. You know what those pictures are gonna do? To me? 'Next on TMZ, Kylin Ackles fucking her brother’s on screen DAD’? Jesus Christ!“ He shouted "Yeah, let’s go ahead and make this about you” I seethed. “Shut the fuck up. You’re the one who did this.”    Jeffrey, seeming to have had enough, jerked the phone out of my hand and immediately to his ear. “Hey, boy, watch your tone,” He growled       He held up a finger to me as he walked back down the hall to what I assumed was his bedroom. I sighed and sat down on the couch to dig through my bag for my smokes. Once found, I wandered over to the balcony doors and opened them to let myself outside. By this time there was muffled yelling occurring from the room that Jeff had disappeared into. I lit the cigarette and sat down on one of the lounge chairs, closing my eyes while inhaling the cancerous menthol smoke. What the hell was I doing here? Obviously I was attracted to Jeff, who wasn’t, and I could tell that he was at least some what interested in me. I don’t believe anyone would just fly someone across country for a date that didn’t mean anything, or at least I hoped not. I shook that idea out of my head quickly and inhaled again. Jeffrey was the first man that I had felt comfortable enough to let touch me since Anthony. He was always respectful, even with his flirting. I dealt with vulgar men all night long at work, and I could put up with it, of course, but Jeffrey’s flirting and teasing always made me tingle.  Sure, he was older, but age didn’t seem to be a factor for either of us. I knew he had dated younger women in the past, and it wasn’t like he would be the first time I dated someone older than me. Rob and I had attempted that whole thing before, back when I was 21 and dumb as shit and he had been temporarily separated from Mollie. We realized that it was better for us to be friends, and had been close as hell ever since. Jensen never made a big deal out of it like he was now, and he actually had caught us in the throws of passion more than once.       I shook my head, irritated at my brother. I didn’t even know what this thing with Jeffrey was yet. I didn’t even know if I was ready to know. I knew it was comfortable, and that’s what I felt I needed.      I was shaken from my thoughts when Jeff appeared on the balcony, phone still pressed to his ear, but a smile on his face.    "Alright, buddy. I will….Yeah, here she is.“ He held the phone out to me and closed his eyes with a chuckle that made his shoulders jump, "He wants to talk to you.” I looked at him suspiciously when I reached and took the phone out of his hand. “Hello?” “You haven’t even kissed him yet?” Jensens high pitched squeal of laughter hit my eardrum. I instantly glared at Jeffrey, who shook was still shaking his head and chuckling. “I hate you.” I deadpanned, eyes still on Jeff. “Keep it that way, sister. Don’t make me come down there.”    "Fuck you, I’ll do what I want.“ I took the last drag of the cigarette I had almost forgotten about. "Whatever. At least use a fucking condom”    "Excuse me? Is this some fucked up way of apologizing?“ I squinted my eyes as I put the butt into a near by ashtray. "As close to one as you’re gonna get.” I scoffed while rolling my eyes, “You’re unbelievable, Jay. Un-fucking-believable.”    Jeff had lit a cigarette of his own and had sat down on the chair beside mine, listening intently but adverting his eyes to the night sky.      "Look, okay, I’m sorry. I know none of that shit was your fault and I’m sorry I’ve been being a douche to you, okay? Jesus, Ky, I literally almost put a bullet in that mother fucker’s head. I would have..“ His voice cracked as he trailed off for a moment, gathering himself, "I don’t want to see you hurt again. I know Jeffrey wouldn’t put his hands on you, but I don’t know the state of your mental health since all that and if he were to fuck up….I just worry about you.” I could hear the tears.      I removed my eyes from Jeffery’s face and lowered my head, nodding into the phone, “I know, Jay. But I’m really okay. He’s actually been helping me, in a weird way. It’s weird, Jensen. But I’m okay.” I returned my gaze to Jeff, who was looking at me again. I could hear Jensen sniffle on the other end of the line.    "Okay. Just be careful. Please, sissy. Please.“ He coughed a little to clear his throat. "If it’s careful it’s boring, bubs. I love you.” “Love you too.”      I pressed the 'End’ button as Jeffrey stood up and reached for my hand to pull me into his arms. His long limbs encircled me almost twice it felt like and he nuzzled his head into the top of my hair. We stood there for a few moments as he swayed us back and forth, a light hum coming from his chest. I closed my eyes and was enjoying the moment until his light humming was interrupted by my roaring stomach. “Chinese sound good?” He asked with another low chuckle. “Yes, please” I peeped as I pulled away.

     I woke up the next morning in Jeffrey’s guest bedroom. It was a big, with maroon colored walls and a black bed frame with white sheets. The mattress was the most comfortable thing in the world besides my favorite guest bed at Jensen’s, and I wondered it if it was the same type. I stretched as I got out of the downy sheets and duvet, my bare feet hitting the cold floor. After using the bathroom and brushing my teeth I wandered though the hallway to find Jeff still asleep in his own room, on his back with one arm over his head and another resting on his shirt covered chest. His mouth was parted and the sound of his snoring made me smile. Boldly, and without much thought, I slipped under the sheets and curled my lower legs around his thigh, my head and hand on his chest. I deep hum came from his chest as he swung the arm from above him down my side and gripped my thigh, hoisting me into a more comfortable position with my face on his shoulder. I giggled and looked up at his own smirk as he squeezed my thigh in his hand and hummed again. 

    “I could really get used to this, darlin. Don’t spoil me.” He grinned as he rolled over, wrapping his other arm around my waist and faced me. We both smiled at each other before he pulled me into his chest, my face meeting the valley between his neck and shoulder. I hummed my own response to his words with closed eyes. I could feel him rub his face into my hair as he held me close to him and tucked my head under his chin more. He laid several kisses into my tresses as his hand that wasn’t gripping my hip below me began to roam across the soft fabric of my plush pajama bottoms. I pulled my arm that I wasn’t laying on out from between our bodies and let it wrap itself around Jeffrey’s  waist and dip under the cotton fabric. I couldn’t help myself when my lips parted slightly to meet the skin at the base of his throat. With a groan, he rolled over to hover above me, arms hoisting him up on either side of my head. He stared at me intently as an involuntary growl left his lips. He dipped his head down to nip at the soft gauge in my ear before digging his hips into mine. The pressure from his obviously hard dick pushing the soft fabric against my clit had me quickly seeing white spots. An involuntary moan of my own released as I stared up at him in awe. He pressed his forehead to mine and drew in a deep breath, then suddenly rolled off of me and sat up on the edge of the bed, leaving me a panting mess behind him. 

   "You’re gonna kill me, woman.“ He put his head in his hands and shook it back and forth.    Slowing my breathing the best I could, I replied, "Not if you don’t kill me first, Mr. J”     He chuckled as he lifted himself off the bed, walking around it to the other side close to me. He held his hand out and I took it, letting him pull me up onto my knees on the mattress in front of him. He cupped my face in his hands for a moment before dragging them back into my hair at the base of my neck. I closed my eyes as he continued his gaze over my face. He scratched at my scalp tenderly then returned his hands to my face to rub his caloused thumbs around my eyes and cheekbones, lingering on the scar at my eyebrow. He sucked in another breath before kissing my forhead. I kept my hands at his waist but my fingers twitched as his lips released from my skin and backed awaway from me.      "Breakfast?“ He suggested once I deamed myself capable of opening my eyes. He was already at the door way looking backt o me. "Breakfast.” I breathed out, still attempting to steady my heart. 

     Breakfast consisted of cereal and bacon, the only two edible things in Jeff’s fridge since he’d been out of town for almost a month for filming. We sat at the kitchen counter on bar stools drinking coffee afterwards as he was trying to be cryptic on what we were going to be doing for the night.      "It’s New Years Eve in New York City, what do you think we’re gonna be doing?“ He questioned as he took a sip from his mug.      "Well, obviously watching the ball drop but what I mean is where? With whom? When? What do I wear?” I threw my hands up in exasperation as I hopped down to dig through my purse. realizing I my pack was empty, I frowned, but then I remembered I had seen Jeff put his in the pocket of his sweatpants. I sauntered back over to him, adding just a hint of sway to my hips as I reached for his hands to pull him up from his seat to stand hovering over me. My head tilted back into an almost painful angle as the man truly did tower over my small body. I let go of his hands and gripped his shoulders, letting my fingertips run down his arms and raise goosebumps on his flesh. He inhaled sharply as I tugged on his hips towards mine, before slipping my hand into the pocket of his pants. and stepping away quickly with a beaming smile. “Thank you, Mr. Morgan.” I teased once he realized what I’d done.      "You’re gonna get it one of these days, little girl.“ He growled halfheartedly, following up with a grin and a chuckle as he joined me outside.      "That’s kinda my goal.” I giggled as I sat down in the same seat from the previous night, throwing my legs over the side of the chair to face him.       I threw him his pack after lighting myself one and watched him bring one to his lips and smirk at me with smoldering eyes. I smirked back, dragging the cigarette and exhaling a plume of smoke that was magnified by the frosty weather. We stared at each other for a moment before breaking out into giggle fits. “So….” I tried to get information out of him again. “Just wear something nice. We’re going all out tonight, baby.”

part five: https://hornsbeforehalos.tumblr.com/post/163713009774/anytime-sweetheart-part-5

[lalesath-blog]

@funroulle thanks for throwing your stuff at me! unfortunately, i feel weird leaving a comment on AO3 since literally no one on tumblr knows my username on there... and I’d like to keep it that way for now. //sweats;; But I do want to comment... because I promised I would. And you deserve one. So I basically just wrote stuff down as I read. It’s under the cut~ For anyone wanting to check out their Vanoé smut fic, it’s here. Enjoy~  And if anyone else wants to send me their Vanoé fics or fic recs, please do. & Now for my dumb ramblings::

"asexual writes smut" Pffft. Same. Tags I can relate to. I liked how Noé did actually leave after he bit Vanitas. Blunt comment followed by completely walking out. That was pretty in-character in my opinion. I could even picture his expression. Followed by him abruptly returning. Just. Yep. Noé. "Nice Pajamas" //spits. That was semi-jarring and humorous and I'm not even sure if that was intended or if it was meant to be more of an ogle on Vani's part, but. Pffft. Noé trying to leave again even though he was a mess. God. Which one of them has the distancing/avoidance problem again? Haha "really, when had he even closed them?" I like how you portray Vanitas as needing some kind of physical connection... be it intimacy or pain... as a kind of distraction/stabilizer/form of reassurance. Again, in-character IMO. A+ Noé going from completely objecting to intimately untying the ribbon in Vani's hair... Fucking. Yes. Good content.  MURRRR. omg no. Noé . Noé no. Noeeeé.  Honesty comment. "The raven" keeps throwing me off a bit. I got extremely confused the first time I saw it... until I realized you were using that as a way to reference Vanitas... It keeps making me stop and picture Gilbert Nightray instead. Ahahaha;; I like the way you wiggled out of Noé seeing Vani's memories. Clever. Although, I think he can still see a person's memories after the initial bite (correct me if I'm wrong)... It's just that... on first bite, he's forced to see them? And he feels that's rude/invasive to the other party (not to mention, potentially unsettling for himself). Again, I could be wrong, but I remember personally having questions about that just in general before. Lmao. Oh. my. god, Vanitas. Actually biting Noé to ultimately try and give him a hickey reminded me of a scene from the manga Skip Beat! ... Love it. More good content. 

"...in a display of submissive dominance" Pffft. Of course, Vani. Of course. NOT AGAIN. NOÉ. PUT THE CAT DOWN. AHH. Lmao & I love your note at the end... the whole time I was wondering about why you chose to keep the engagement thing as real. I thought it was for the jealousy effect. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not a big deal~  That was pretty good! & Cute. & You should write more in the future. :) Again, thank you so much for sharing!   

[starsinursa]

Shout-out to @saminzat for tagging me! Like I needed an excuse to waste time. ;)

LAST

1) Drink:  Coffee... it’s like 10 p.m. at night, but I’m trying to stay awake to finish some work from the office (and yet I’m on tumblr doing this quiz instead, oops).

2) Phone call: A coworker called me so I’d have her new phone number.

3) Text message:  “FYI, they don’t give you the money right back, you have to wait 4 - 6  WEEKS for a check in the mail, uggggh”. I bailed the same coworker out of jail about three months ago and went to the city municipal court today to get the bail money back... turns out things aren’t that simple.

4) Song listened to:  Umm...so I’ve been listening to the Moana soundtrack pretty much non-stop for the last week. :D

5) Time you cried:  A couple of weeks ago, reading the fic “Cursed or Not” for the first time (hey, you get to chapter 18 and try not to ugly cry, okay?).

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice:  Yep. Good ol’ high school.

7) Been cheated on:  Not that I know of.

8) Kissed someone and regretted it:  Yep. Good ol’ college.

9) Lost someone special:  Yes, a couple of times.

10) Been depressed:  Yep, special shout-out to my Prozac and Wellbutrin, love you guys. ;)

11) Gotten drunk and puked:  Yes, a few times, unfortunately. Again, good ol’ college (although I can’t use that excuse for the last time because I had already graduated... to whomever had to clean out that train car up in Minneapolis, MN, about 2.5 years ago: I am so, so sorry, I’ve learned my lesson about taking it easy on the Everclear, you have every right to hate me).

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) Green

13) Purple

14) Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends:  Kind of? Do work friends count? 

16) Fallen out of love:  Nah, gotta be in love for that

17) Laughed until you cried:  Yes, most recently was while watching “Impractical Jokers” with my aunt (they took a guy who is terrified of cats and made him teach an improv “how to bond with your cat” class, okay, I found it hilarious as a cat-owner).

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you:  Yeah, there’s a lot of gossip about everyone at my second job. Look, I’m sorry I go through all the water bottles, okay? I drink a lot of water...

19) Met someone who changed your life:  Not anyone specific in the last year that I can think of...

20) Found out who your true friends are: Meh. I’ve always kinda known.

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list:  Nah

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends:  256

23) Pets:  Two! One dog, one cat, the best of both worlds.

24) Want to change your name:  Nah, I like my name.

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday:  Books, I always ask for books.

26) Time I woke up:  Around 8:30 a.m. this morning

27) Were you doing at midnight: Probably surfing tumblr, tbh, I am sadly predictable

28) Can’t you wait for: MY VACATION THIS NEXT WEEK

29) Was the last time you saw your mom:  A couple of weeks ago when I went home for a dentist appointment

30) Is something you wish you could change about your life:  I need to buckle down and really focus on paying off a couple of bills. It helps having a second job, but I’m just so impatient.

31) Are you listening to right now:  Nothing at the mo

32) Gets on your nerves:  Whiners. Don’t get me wrong, I love to bitch and complain as much as the next person, but people who blame the world/ everyone else for their problems? Just....yeah.

33) Talked to a person named Tom:  ...this question doesn’t make any sense. “What - talked to a person named Tom”? Also, no, I know several Tims, but no Toms.

34) Is your most visited website:  Pffft, tumblr, of course, is that even a real question

35) Elementary school/primary school:  [Name of my hometown] Elementary School

36) High School:  [Name of my hometown] Jr./ Sr. High School

37) College:  I’ve already mentioned in a couple of posts where I went to college, so I guess I’ll just say it: Kansas State University. EMAW!

38) Hair colour:  Dark brown

39) Long/short hair:  Long! It’s currently the longest it’s ever been in my entire life, I’m so excited (although holy shit, I shed a lot).

40) Crush:  Nah, not for a while. I creeped on a cute security guard a few months ago, but he turned out to be a jerk with a classic “crazy ex-girlfriend” (I put that part in quotation marks because I have no idea if she’s actually ‘crazy’ but he kept insisting she was...which is, just, y’know, a red flag on his part).

41) Do you like about yourself:  I’m actually pretty fond of my hair now, after a lifelong love/hate relationship. I also like to think I’m okay at singing sometimes.

42) Piercings: None at the moment, actually

43) Blood type: A+

44) Nickname: My family has always called me “Foo” (as in, “little bunny foo-foo”)

45) Relationship status:  Single, ayyyyy

46) Zodiac: Leo (pffft, but not really)

47) Pronouns: She/her

48) Favourite show: Supernatural (of course!), Psych, Once Upon a Time, Firefly, Scrubs, Nikita, Game of Thrones

49) Tattoos: None. I’m too fickle, I’d get one and then change my mind two weeks later.

50) Left or right handed: Right

FIRST

51) Surgery:  I had my tonsils out when I was 17 thanks to multiple bouts with strep throat. Oh my god, never wait until you’re that old to get your tonsils removed, it was absolute hell. 

52) Piercings: My ears. If we’re talking unusual piercings, I had a “nape piercing” for a while in high school.

53) Best friend:  Probably my cousin Kayla, since we grew up together

54) Sport:  I played softball for several years as a kid, until I got a bloody nose when the ball hit me in the face. Then I had to quit because I was gun-shy. To this day, I’m still afraid of balls flying at my face (hehehe).

55) Vacation:  I visited my dad in San Diego, CA for a week when I was ten years old

56) Pair of shoes:  First pair of shoes? I don’t know, I was a baby. Probably some over-priced cutesy pair that never even got any use because I was a baby.

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: Spicy Doritos

58) Drinking:  Still drinking coffee

59) I am about to:  Sort through my tumblr “Saved Drafts” and add tags for everything, then try to get some writing done

60) Listening to:  Nothing at the mo (this is the same question at #31?)

61) Waiting for:  Saturday when I leave for vacation! *o*

62) Want to see: Honestly can’t think of anything. I’d like to watch Moana again but it’s not on DVD yet?

63) Want to get married:  Sure, someday

64) Career:  Human services/ social work-ish? Basically, I work at a non-profit agency helping adults with developmental/ intellectual disabilities to get/ maintain services. Oh, and I also have a part-time job at an adult store. Gotta make ends meet, y’know.

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses:  Really depends on who they’re from. Probably hugs for the most part. :)

66) Lips/eyes: Aaagh, I don’t know... I love gorgeous eyes, but I also love me some tasty lips... y’know what, I’m gonna go with lips. Yep.

67) Taller/shorter:  Taller

68) Younger/older: Older

69) Romantic/spontaneous:  I can be romantic when I have someone to be romantic for, but I’m not the most spontaneous. :D Like, let’s just stick to the PLAN, okay?

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: Arms. I like squishy cuddly tummies anyways.

71) Sensitive/loud: ...I don’t know. Sensitive, I guess, because being around loud people wears me out pretty quickly. But sensitivity needs to have limits too...

72) Hookup/relationship:  Relationship. Been there, done the hook-up thing, not worth it. Good ol’ college.

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: At this point in my life, I’d say hesitant. Trouble-making was fun in the past, but, like, I’ve got an actual career now that I could lose if I go around trouble-making/ hanging out with trouble-makers.

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger:  So, so many times. Good ol’ college.

75) Drank hard liquor:  Yep. Still love me some vodka. It just mixes with everything, y’know?

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses:  Contact lenses, yes, but luckily I’ve never lost a pair of glasses

77) Turned someone down:  Yes. I hate doing that. I’m a horrible, cowardly person who would rather “ghost” someone than have to deal with an uncomfortable confrontation. 

78) Canoodling on a first date:  Depends on the definition of “canoodling”. Are we talking cuddling or snuggling up during a movie? Sure. Making out? Maaaybe, depends. No copping a feel on the first date though, c’mon now.

79) Broken someone’s heart:  Yes. Breaking up with someone in high school is intense. 

80) Had your own heart broken:  Kind of, not really? The only person I legitimately had feelings for, I never told them how I felt, so they never really had the opportunity to break my heart but it hurt like hell anyways. Have I mentioned I’m a cowardly piece of shit? :D I mean, that was like 10 years ago in high school, but I haven’t changed that much.

81) Been arrested:  No, thank goodness. There were a couple of close calls during my partying days, I’ve definitely been luckier than I probably deserve.

82) Cried when someone died:  Yes. Doesn’t happen often, luckily.

83) Fallen for a friend: Not really? Had crushes on friends, had friends-with-benefits, yes, but never technically “fallen for” a friend.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: Depends on what we’re talking about here. In general, yeah, I like to think I do okay...

85) Miracles:  Ehhh, I can’t decide. It’s a wonderful thought but I’m also kind of a pessimist realist. You know what they say: “hope for the best but prepare for the worst”.

86) Santa Clause:  Not for many, many years

87) Kisses on a first date: Sure! End-of-the-date kisses are sweet.

88) Angels:  I...think so. 

89) Love at first sight:  I don’t know? It’s a wonderful thought but I’m just not sure. Maybe not love at first sight, per se, but I think there are definitely people out there that you can just tell right away they’re going to be special to you.

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: None, at the mo

91) Eye colour: Brown

92) Favourite movie:  That’s a tough one... I think it depends on my mood. Do I want to laugh? Something trashy like “Sorority Boys”. Do I want to cry? Probably something steeped in existential crisis like “A.I.”. Do I want a feel-good adventure with talking animals? “Homeward Bound”.

Holy crap, that took like 1.5 hours. Anyone need an excuse to waste some time/ procrastinate/ be distracted? Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast, @helianthus21, @destielmixtape, @beesandangelkisses, @emotionally-compromised-idiot, @castielsgracex, @apritelleorai, @honeybee-and-batman, @sunshine-hunters, @waaaaaayward-assbutt, @cool-fallen-angel , and anyone else who wants to do it. :)