#yearningleaves

[yearningleaves]

on love, pt. 1

Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air / bell hooks, All About Love / Joseph Campbell / Hozier, "Wasteland, Baby" / bell hooks, All About Love

[yearningleaves]

a text received || mitski, “first love/late spring” || lucy dacus, “the night shift” || a text sent || bojack horseman 3011, “that’s too much, man!”

[yearningleaves]

capitalism makes everything so hard.

because i can hear “oh you should wash your towels every three showers” and be like, “yeah, that sounds legit.” but then i have to wonder, did Big Detergent fund this research? Big Towel?

like i want to (and do) trust science, but it’s really annoying that i have to be nuanced about even laundry.

and obviously i’m not looking into the studies that look at bacteria on towels because i’m a student and i’m tired. and most people aren’t even considering Big Towel’s existence (good for them).

so capitalism wins again.

[yearningleaves]

the spectre of bose is haunting the globe:

they keep making more autistic people to sell noise-cancelling headphones

[yearningleaves]

“um, this song is about—this song is about being in love with someone who’s super mean to you. i don’t know if that’s relatable. y’know, like, conflicting feelings…”

phoebe bridgers, npr tiny desk concert || phoebe bridgers, “motion sickness” || mitski, “that’s our lamp” || leith ross, “i’d have to think about it” || tonight alive, “the other side”

[yearningleaves]

what didn’t kill me, it never made me stronger at all

i want to rip my skin off, but even that wouldn’t be enough. even in 7 years when my cells have all been replaced i won’t be clean. my body will remember how it felt i am going to throw up my body remembers how they all felt.

all the damage i got isn’t good damage, it’s just damage. i have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years i was miserable for nothing.

all anyone can do with damage is just survive it. my professor frames that like a success—i guess it is. but i just want to go back and change it. i have survived what i did and what they did but i am none the better for it.

[yearningleaves]

An ode to In the Mood for Love, inspired by: https://amorphobic.tumblr.com/post/666786814873550849/on-graduation-parting-ways-night-in-the-woods

The battle between an era past and the scarf you forgot in my life. Will you linger just a while longer?