#yeahidk

[cutepinkloves]

[nightmareentertainment]

No because i love Jesus in a deeply metaphorical and storybound way. Does this make sense

[inlivingwritenow]

these are not one-second clips of each day i've had in 2023. but they are collections of videos i recorded through all the emotions and memories of the year. each with their own long, significant stories of: chef, clinical, lab, studying, being outside, adventures, alll the rain, challenging & live-saving moments, drinks, donuts, rainbows, smiles, love, celebrations, music, etc. not everything entirely nor perfectly captured, but i am so so grateful.

i've long debated if i should have made this or shared it or if i really should've left this video without sound. but here we are, here it is, and i silently play an instrumental version of billie eilish's "what was i made for" or whatever i'm feeling in the background and everything's okay. unlike the video, nothing about this year was quiet. but i'm starting to believe i'm becoming more quiet, or just someone who has less to say or share. i've consistently tried to stray away from the "quiet," simply because it was always a word that was used to described me and i often want to prove people wrong. but, in the beginning of 2023, i started to write letters and pep-talks to myself. and i think that's how i've been living..write..now (hehehe)--a little more reserved and saving all the things i have to say for myself. words have always carried me through, and i thought that keeping to myself was the most personal act of love and self-care i've had this year. a lot of this year was also doing the work of trying to figure out if i should continue on my path of finding communities, new friends, and sharing more of my life with others or.. just continuing the journey of learning to be my own best friend [another thing i was afraid of...being alone]. but, after incidentally buying and sharing a huge tray of nachos with myself on a "be my own best friend" date in a whole other state, i think i know the answer now [since then, i have openly referred to that memory as "awkward nachos"].

learning to to be my own best friend came with a lot more solo dates than before. it was also learning how to befriend the silence, go on walks alone, delight in these wins, self-soothe in anxious & difficult moments, and be my own cheerleader when i thought i needed people or when nobody was around [i know. as you can see, i've always lived with a lot of people in my life, and i'm learning to be even more independent]. over time, enjoying my own company, got a little less awkward and quiet. more than anything, i was gifted a reserve of stillness, grace for myself, being whole, protecting that peace i've longed for, and learning the gratitude for it all.

i can only imagine what's ahead in 2024, but i hope to have more stories, memories, and dates to collect that'll be something more than quiet.

[tedhead]

This maybe would sound weird but i'm curious about it: do you feel "Blonde On Blonde" is a very queer coded album? Or i'm just being delusional?

UMMN. naur i don’t think you’re delusional nd you’re definitely not alone there’s a lot of frustrated sexual desire/rejection/longing on that album and he doesn’t always make a point to gender that desire

OH also ‘66 was the year he said this:

“Sex and love have nothing to do with female and male. It is just whatever two souls happen to be. It could be male or female, and it might not be male or female. It might be female and female or it might be male and male. You can try to pretend that it doesn’t happen, and you can make fun of it and be snide, but that’s not really the rightful thing. I know, I know.”

so he could’ve been making a conscious choice not to limit the scope of his art (or audience).

the dylanisms off that album have resounded for a lot of gay people too “to live outside the law you must be honest” gets me everytime 🫠

[avesdraws]

u ever have like. a character from a media you really like and end up making one that's very similiar. yeahidk if its a character or more of like a character concept. But made a xen memory worm that went rouge, killed the staff at a combine facility and absorbed the barin chemestry of everyone there, allowing it to talk human language and in several of them.It controls the whole facility, it let xen growth over run it, also because it helps it keeping control better. From outisde it looks like a combine interference computer covered in growth, and the worm rarely if ever shows itself. Idk yet whatever to make it a villain (wants to absorb as many people as possible) or if its just after the combine, which it rightfully hates for using its species as living batteries, tho i like the second option better.

[last-answer]

also, i opened obey me: nightbringer after weeks of not playing it. i have like 94 messages i need to speed through. a quarter of them are birthday messages

oh wow ??? yeahidk if that inspires me to play the game again tbh its been so long LOL

[blankodyssey]

Can’t believe I went to college for five and a half years with one particular goal in mind to work in the music industry and got my DREAM job right away WITH MY DREAM COMPANY (#1 in the world for 🔊) only for it all to come crashing down and it turning out to be NOTHINGGGGG that I thought it was going to be and two and a half years later I am am fucking depressed as shit after QUITTING on my own terms two months ago.

Although it sucks, I 100% don’t regret my decision and am definitely better off. Fucking crazy how I literally achieved everything I set for myself and not being happy one bit once I got to the top. It just goes to show that not everything you think you want IS what you want. It was like, pulling the curtain to take a peek behind the scenes at Disney only to find out that Mickey Mouse and Co is really just some slimy corporate shill that DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK about their core audience.

So now here I am, unemployed and have literally no idea what I’m going to do. People ask me what I am passionate about……well I did the thing I was passionate about and it turned out to be just one big fucking lie. Now I am stuck. I understand I did this to myself, but in no way should anyone have to go through what I did ever no matter the circumstance.

“We don’t exploit people, we exploit passion”

I’ll remember that forever.

[fangyymusic]

My clients are THE BEST, thank you guys for being SO patient with me. I should have done this nearly two months ago. Commission I completed of someone's adorable ass character, Wallace. #art #digital #digitalart #furry #furries #anthro #anthrooc #oc #ocart #commission #furryart #anthro #thisisanewtagforartists❤️ #cat #digitalpainting #digitalillustration #ocdesign #bust #furrybust #yeahidk #taggingshitisannoying #artwork #myartwork #sketch #sketches #painting #comm #cat #catart #catoc #scientist #mwahaha https://www.instagram.com/p/CWpgKD_LePw/?utm_medium=tumblr

[what-once-was-there]

as the cool air hits my skin while i sit in nostalgic bliss by an open window looking at the trees shedding away their leaves and shivering in the wind the cars going and the noises of the world seeing the world only as i do when im procrastinating instead of taking my geometry test 

[cutepinkloves]

[obsidiansss]

What a confused mind looks like

[dorkalina]

#lillyofthevalley #art #ink #micron #pointilism #blackandwhite #solanachu #artistsofinstagram #plant #flower #allthatjazz #yeet #design #yeahidk https://www.instagram.com/p/B6R_0m1lAey/?igshid=1k71pa9sce7dx

[mitcheemarns]

Zach: you know blue baby syndrome, where they don't get enough oxygen?

Mitch: oh like Avatar

Zach:

[void-of-erecius]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, I haven’t been feeling so swell past month. But I’m alright, just trying to get the hang of it again! Here’s some more doodles n stoof

[pinkydude]

Mitch Anderson | 228/?? | Halloween 💀

[pixiethings]

How to: stop wrecking your life, a guide by nemo

Idk please help