#yeah. yeah actually
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oleander-neruim ยท 1 year ago
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I happen to think a lot about how on edge and guarded Fwhip was when Sausage first tried coming back to talk to him when he got uncorrupted.
I'd think there were a lot of irreversible and unforgettable scars left over after the dust finally settled.
Click the full image to see all the text. I'll put the full "poem" below the cut
โ˜™๐‡๐จ๐ฐ ๐ˆ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ
โ˜™๐Ž๐Ÿ ๐š ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐Ÿ๐ญ ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐ž
โ˜™๐€๐ง๐ ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ ๐ฌ๐จ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐žโง
โ˜™๐“๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ๐š๐ญ๐ž
โ˜™๐“๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ก๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐š๐ง ๐ฎ๐ง๐Ÿ๐š๐ข๐ซ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐š๐ฅโง
โ˜™๐Ž๐ก ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž
โ˜™๐“๐จ ๐ฌ๐จ๐Ÿ๐ญ๐ž๐ง ๐š ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ ๐š๐ณ๐žโง
โ˜™๐Ž๐ก ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ˆ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐จ
โ˜™๐“๐จ ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ ๐š ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐žโง
โœจ๏ธ Sketch Image! โœจ๏ธ
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Also have mercy on my white out woes
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inbabylontheywept ยท 3 months ago
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
itโ€™s a lot of pressure, is what iโ€™m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and iโ€™d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
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liquidstar ยท 1 year ago
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
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crowkip ยท 3 months ago
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yeehaw, baby!
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bisclavaret ยท 1 year ago
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a day late to my 6 years on t anniversary โœจ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ a short comic about looking back
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vegetabletaxi ยท 3 months ago
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this is just a bunch of text and barely a comic sorry, but i really wanted to talk about this stuff even if i don't have the energy to properly draw
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belovedgamers ยท 6 months ago
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Doc is fighting the good fight on Twitter (calling out people who hate his rainbow beacon) and idk I thought this was very sweet
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dovahkiining ยท 5 months ago
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in the word document . straigt up Writing it. and by "it" lets just say. ha ha. |
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theshadowrealmitself ยท 1 year ago
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just canโ€™t try to process emotions the same way as them, itโ€™s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcanโ€™s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about whatโ€™s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
โ€œ-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didnโ€™t even bring a dish!!!โ€
โ€œThe purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?โ€
โ€œYeah!!โ€
โ€œAnd they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?โ€
โ€œMostly just my dish but yeah >:(โ€œ
โ€œHow illogicalโ€
โ€œThatโ€™s what Iโ€™m saying!!!โ€
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were โ€˜family friendsโ€™#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasnโ€™t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and weโ€™d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. theyโ€™d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways weโ€™d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after weโ€™d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks werenโ€™t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if youโ€™re wondering why they were โ€˜family friendsโ€™ itโ€™s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesnโ€™t fit since they never finished petitioning ๐Ÿ’€)#liked having them around because it made them look like โ€˜such great Christianโ€™sโ€™ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry ๐Ÿ˜ญ
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so-you-read-the-usernames ยท 1 year ago
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Female characters who are the sole voice of reason <<<<<<< Female characters who think of themselves as the sole voice of reason but who are actually just as insane as those around them
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what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom ยท 2 months ago
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Suddenly, bell bottoms aren't so bad
Bonus sketch, because I had to vv
"Stop checking out my assistant, Stanley."
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thunderglade ยท 4 months ago
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fartshell from the hit manga dungeon in delicious ๐Ÿฉธ๐Ÿชถ
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caemidraws ยท 5 months ago
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La Tempesta
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egophiliac ยท 3 months ago
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you know, I've been thinking about it, and there is actually one single scenario in which I would be okay with not getting a big ol' "Silver Vanrouge" out of Lilia.
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(just kidding, I still need some "call me Silver, Mr. Vanrouge is my father" in my life, please don't let me down on this one Twst)
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kagoutiss ยท 1 month ago
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iโ€™ll take care of everything
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rejectedbytheempty ยท 1 month ago
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actually, ykw? imagine if simon had a civilian s/o and bc heโ€™s constantly away and the partner is there most of the time anyways, he lets them decorate the place.
they make it so cozy with a million lamps with stained glass lampshades and tapestries on the walls and an unexpected number of stuffed animals on the bed.
one time, simon invites tf 141 to his flat and their jaws dropped, bc ofc simon didnโ€™t warn them about the absolute pinterest board that his place was.
in fact, he hadnโ€™t mentioned a partner at all, or to you that his team would be coming over so youโ€™re still in one of simonโ€™s raggedy old t-shirts with a handful of dry cereal halfway to your mouth.
itโ€™s generally a shock for both parties, simon excluded, who seems to settle himself right in, kissing the top of your head, eyes crinkling slightly as he grins, looking rather like a cat showing off the bird he dragged in.
you had some choice words for him later, but for now, you brushed the crumbs off your face and wiped your hands off on your shirt before sticking your hand out to the team to introduce yourself.
surprisingly, it goes rather well. all things considered. the team is charmed by you and your ability to make ghost blush and smile endlessly. and youโ€™re absolutely enamored with the fact that they keep complimenting your decor.
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