#yeah though I've had loads of ideas of what they do for her birthday

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Cassie and her dad in the Meteors AU letting Roxy try different kinds of cake to find out what her favorite is so they can make that for her birthday, because sure she'd been PROGRAMMED to say she likes certain kinds (usually just agreeing with the birthday child probably), but she never actually got to have any for herself (or even if she did, maybe her tastes are different once she's real).

Yeeeeeeessss

Roxy was never allowed to eat in Meteors. Meteors works on the animatronics being as physically accurate to canon as possible, so they're clunky, have hands that can't close properly, limited expressions, and no ability to eat or taste. They're pretty uniform in base design across the board so there's no exceptions to that even for Chica, thus, Roxy has never had cake or anything else before. I don't think she'd programmed to say she likes whatever the birthday kid likes, I think she'd be programmed to like her own Fazbear Brand flavours, which are the grape Fizzy Faz and stuff. There's no way she's supposed to like carrot cake, that's probably a Bonnie flavour cake. Roxy (and the others of course) are beyond their programming though so they can say whatever they want within reason so long as they're not caught. Anyway.

Literally every food and drink is brand new to Roxy and sometimes it's really fun to give her things just to see her reaction. Cassie felt particularly funny one day and gave her a lemon slice. She laughed so damn hard at her face she literally ate the whole slice in one bite and the regret... she said she wouldn't fall for it again but she absolutely did when Cassie's dad gave her a lime lmao

Anyway, Cassie and her dad have made a few cakes before, so they get Roxy in on baking cupcakes with them so she can try a bunch of flavours without them having a huge cake to get through by themselves if she doesn't like it. It's fun and Roxy learns a lot about baking through this! I bet she'd be so damn excited to try carrot cake. She could like it a lot, but it maybe not be her favourite. It was probably one of the first ones they made after a regular sponge or something. They have to start simple, right? Basic flavour first and she can judge the others against it!

I like to think chocolate would be her favourite, followed by carrot. I looked it up and apparently you can get chocolate carrot cake so maybe they try that and either think it's great or it's the worst thing they've ever had lmao but yeah, they were always trying to get more foods for Roxy to try so it was really easy to start this cake baking thing with her without her suspecting it was also research for her upcoming birthday. They give her the chocolatiest cake they could possibly make for her birthday and while it's at the edge of Cassie's sugar tolerance and way out of her dad's sugar tolerance, it's perfect for Roxy and she loves it! When they said they were going to pull out all of the stops for Roxy's first ever birthday, they meant it with the cake too, if sugar rushes were a real thing, Roxy would have the zooms for days with this lmao

Yeah every food they have on Roxy's birthday are her favourites. They've played the long game here, Cassie has a notebook to help her and Roxy keep track of what she's tried and what she's rated it out of ten. It's an invaluable resource for making sure she has all the best stuff on her birthday. The only thing on there they struggle to get is a slushie that she tried in a Fazbear Arcade but they find a way!

[petalsthefish]

Toe Rag (Affectionately)

Read on A03

"Did you see Lily delivering a swift kick to Arnold Palmer’s balls in divination this morning?" Sirius inquired, dropping onto the bench beside James in the grand hall during lunch. "Fucking metal."

Peter and Remus glanced up from their seats across the table, mouths full, sporting amusing grins. Remus hastily swallowed, wiping his mouth with his sleeve as he enthusiastically nodded.

"I'm surprised she hasn't landed herself in detention by now," Remus remarked. "Palmer was on the ground, in tears."

"Any idea what Palmer said to provoke her?" Sirius questioned, loading his plate with meat pies.

"It doesn't matter what he said to her," James replied, rolling his eyes. "He probably had it coming."

"You'd defend her even if she kicked you in the balls," Peter chuckled, prompting Sirius and Remus to conceal their knowing grins behind their food.

"I'm a strong supporter of women's rights," James hastily defended himself, "including Lily's right to beat the shit out of anyone who irritates her."

Remus's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Then how do you manage to escape Lily’s wrath? You irritate her everyday."

James feigned disgust. "Moony, how dare you. I am her favorite person."

Sirius stared at James as though he had sprouted two heads. "She called you a ‘toe rag’ yesterday at dinner."

"Yeah, but lovingly," James retorted.

"I've never heard anyone called a 'toe rag' lovingly," Remus raised an eyebrow at James.

"Hey, guys," Lily interjected herself between Sirius and James, planting a kiss on James' cheek. James raised himself a bit higher in his chair, sporting a proud smirk in response.

Lily rolled her eyes at his reaction and remarked, "Eat your food, toe rag." Despite her words, a smile betrayed the affection in the term, causing the other boys to reconsider their earlier remarks.

"Do you have detention tonight?" James inquired of Lily.

"No," Lily replied as she buttered a scone, "Palmer was convinced to accept his punishment without snitching on me to the Professor."

"What did he say?" Peter asked, his curiosity evident.

Lily’s green eyes glowed with exasperation as she explained, “he said the tea leaves told him that I should show him my tits.”

All four boys erupted in outrage, drawing confused looks from those around them. Lily shushed them all, laughing at their indignant reactions. James couldn't fathom why she remained so composed; he was ready to seek out Palmer and transform him into a slug.

Lily likely noticed the fiery determination in his eyes, prompting her to toss her scone at his forehead, causing it to bounce off and land back on the table. "James," she warned, "sit down before I make you."

Grumbling, James reluctantly took his seat, exchanging a meaningful glance with Sirius, signaling that their business with Palmer was far from over. Sirius nodded in agreement, his eyes reflecting anger.

"Anyways, I'm pretty sure I made his chances of procreating 90% less likely than before," Lily declared, picking up the scone that had fallen onto James' plate.

"I hope you uninvited him to your birthday party tonight," James said, slinging an arm around Lily's shoulders and glaring towards the Ravenclaw table in search of Palmer's brown, buzzed hair.

Lily shrugged in his embrace. "I doubt it. He learned to value his life this afternoon, and he knows you and Sirius will be there."

"I don't see why James and I being there has anything to do with it," Sirius remarked, his tone deceptively calm.

"Please," Lily snorted, "don't act like the two of you aren't already telepathically planning your revenge on my behalf."

"Sirius and I don't communicate telepathically," James insisted, "and even if we did, we're well aware that you can handle yourself."

"Keep lying, Prongs," Lily patted his chest with the back of her hand, her tone lighthearted but her eyes full of knowing suspicion, "I've known you long enough to recognize when you're contemplating making someone barf slugs all night."

James chuckled, a warmth spreading through his chest at her remark. Her ability to read him like an open book was both a source of amusement and admiration. She had recently acquired the skill of distinguishing between the Marauders using their nicknames, and the fact that she used his without hesitation was a small delight that never failed to make his heart race. His hand slid down her back lovingly, tracing her sides until he was holding her at the dip in her hip, reveling in the comfort of her presence.

As they sat there, the great hall buzzing with the energy of fellow students eating their lunch, James found himself contemplating the idea of persuading her to spend the remainder of the evening curled up by the crackling fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. The dancing flames and the cozy ambiance seemed like the perfect setting for some quiet moments together, away from the boring classes they were subject to that Tuesday.

"I was actually considering turning him into a slug," James admitted with a mischievous glint in his eyes, savoring the way she blushed when his thumb brushed enticingly across her upper thigh. "But your idea is much better."

Lily turned her head to face him, her green eyes locking onto his with a mixture of amusement and something deeper. Her pupils were slightly wider than usual, perhaps a result of the intimacy of the moment or the thrill of his touch. She whispered, her voice a soft murmur that only heightened the intimacy of their conversation, "It's my birthday, and I don't want you in detention for it."

The air between them crackled with unspoken understanding, and James couldn't help but smile. He was more than willing to comply with her birthday wish, even if it meant putting aside his plans for revenge with Sirius.

He leaned closer, teasing, "Why? Do you have plans for us tonight, Evans?"

She licked her lips, replying carefully, "Well, Mary's making cake."

"I can think of something sweeter." James whispered, winking. 

Remus, with a half groan of annoyance, extended his arm across the worn wooden table, brandishing a succulent drumstick like a playful weapon. He thrust the piece of chicken into James' unsuspecting mouth, prompting an immediate protest from the latter. Startled, James leaned back, his eyes widening as he hastily spit out the uninvited mouthful onto his plate. 

In an attempt to regain composure, Lily took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air, and shifted her attention to her lunch, feigning an intense interest in her food choice to divert any lingering feelings someplace else. James’ hand dug tighter into her side, refusing to let her get too far in response to Remus’ action.

“Can I flirt with my girlfriend in peace, please?” James asked with a snap. 

Dryly, Remus remarked, "You two disgust me sometimes."

[canirove]

Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 13

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Masterlist

“This is so weird, Liv…” Micky says.

“What is?”

“You. Like… I've seen you dancing around and singing before, but you had never looked this happy. You had never smiled like that. And it is… weird.”

“Oh, so you prefer it when I look sad and ready to murder someone?”

“You know I love your smile, Liv.”

“Yeah, I know” I reply, my cheeks getting warm as I remember how he had told me the same thing before we made out during the team's Christmas party a couple of years ago. He was the new guy and he was so tall, and blonde, and nice, and charming, and basically so different from everyone else that… Yeah.

Nothing else happened after that, but we've stayed as really good friends. And now that I think of it, he may have been the reason why Alex went from being indifferent towards football players to disliking them so much. He had caught us kissing, and what had I done when I saw him? Just shrug and kiss Micky again. That must have hurt him a lot. 

“Are you going to tell me what is making you smile like this, tho?” Micky asks.

“Nope.”

“I will” Madders says, joining us. 

“You won't dare” I say, threatening him with a spoon.

“I was just going to tell him that you look happier because you've added rice to your diet. Quite frequently according to what I've been told.”

“James!” 

“Eating rice is making you happier?” Micky asks with a confused look.

“Not just rice. The rice” Madders smirks.

“I'm fucking murdering you, James Maddison.”

“The… Oh my God” Micky says, his eyes wide. “Liv! What did I tell you?”

“A load of bullshit as per usual” I shrug.

“A load of… whatever. Does anyone else know?”

“Unless Mr. Maddison here tells someone else, just you two, Kennedy and Olga.”

“Wait, she knows? Since when?” Madders says.

“I had to tell her because of all the flowers I've been receiving, she would not let it go. Oh, and Alex also knows.”

“Alex? You told him?”

“He found out when he saw one of the notes that came with the flowers.”

“So that's why he's been looking more miserable than usual, uh? You broke his heart, Liv.”

“I didn't mean to. I had no idea he was in love with me until he confessed all his feelings on my birthday.”

“You didn't know?” Micky laughs. “C'mon, Liv. Everyone here knows Alex is in love with you.”

“Everyone but her” Madders chuckles.

“If it was so obvious, why didn't you tell me? Aren't you my friends?”

“I didn't tell you anything because I didn't expect you to be so blind” Micky shrugs. “Anyway, are you and Declan dating, then?”

“No. We are just friends.”

“Do friends sleep together now?” 

“It's… complicated” I say, nervously playing with the spoon in my hand.

“Dear God, Liv… You've fallen in love with him!”

“I haven't.”

“Liv…” Micky sighs. “We haven't known each other for that long, but I can read you like an open book. You've fallen in love with Declan.”

“Lower down your voice!” I hiss. “And I haven't, ok? We are just friends who sometimes make out among other things. Nothing else.”

“Liv, you must tell him about your feelings before you get hurt.”

“Agree on that” Madders says. 

“I can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because it isn't that easy, you know? And what if he doesn't feel the same?” 

“Well, better to know that now when, at least according to what you say, you aren't in love with him, than later when it will definitely break your heart” Micky says.

“Agree on that too. Though if you ask me, I think he feels the same for you” Madders smirks.

“Yeah, well, I'm not so sure of that. Because one moment he is doing all these romantic things and taking me on the best dates ever, and the next he forgets I exist for a week and doesn't even text me to ask me how my day was. Kennedy says that that's how you men work but… I don't know” I sigh.

“If you have so many doubts, then you know what you have to do, Liv.”

“Next time you go eat the rice, preferably before you do it, you sit down with him and tell him about your feelings” Madders says.

“You seriously need to stop with the joke about eating rice. It isn't funny.”

“But you are sleeping with the enemy, Liv. We have to use some kind of code to talk about it, anyone could hear us. Like your dad, for example.” 

“Don't jinx it!” I say, looking for something made of wood and quickly touching it. Could touch his head, but it probably is empty. 

“Sorry” Madders shrugs. “Anyway, we should probably go back with the rest of the team to get our asses kicked. And in the meantime, you better think how to tell a certain someone that you love him.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“We are serious, Liv” Micky says.

“I know. Thank you, guys.”

“Anything for you” he smiles before leaving me alone in the cafeteria, my head about to explode.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Liv, stop checking your phone. He isn't gonna text you” Olga says.

“I was just checking the time.”

“Yes, of course” she snorts. 

“I was” I insist. But that's a lie. I was checking if Declan had texted me, if maybe my signal was weak and the messages weren't coming through. But everything is fine, just like all the other three hundred and twenty five times I've checked. 

“He is ghosting you, Liv. Again. I don't know why don't you end things with him, he clearly isn't worth it despite everything that Madders tells you.”

“It isn't that easy, Olga.”

“Is the sex that good?” she smirks.

“Shut up” I say, trying to hit her. “It isn't easy for other reasons.”

“Like that you have fallen in love with him.”

“I... Yeah” I sigh.

I've fallen in love with Declan. It's official. And it also is official that I haven't told him about it. I tried to, but… It was impossible.

Since my chat with Madders and Micky and until the end of the season we met almost daily, but I just couldn't find the right moment to sit down and talk about it. If we weren't out on a date, we would stay at his place, and I always was so focused on enjoying our time together and him, that I couldn't think about anything else. Especially when I was enjoying him if you know what I mean. Then we both went on holidays, and the silence started.

Olga and I are in the south of Spain having some girl time that we have been planning since Christmas, while Declan is in Las Vegas with a very questionable company that has already made him be in the newspapers more than once, a bunch of girls surrounding him on all the photos that have been published. And has that made me jealous? Made me feel like shit and doubt everything that has been happening these past months between us? Definitely. Especially because I've texted him a few times just asking him how he is, if he is having fun, and I still haven't received an answer. And by the looks of it, I won't be getting it any time soon.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

It's been two weeks since Olga and I were in Spain, and yes, you've guessed it. Still no word from Declan. But if I want to know what he is doing, I just have to check the papers.

After Las Vegas he went to Ibiza to meet with some of his other football friends. During the day you can find them relaxing on a boat as big as my parents house, and at night in the best clubs in the city. And always, always… He is surrounded by a group of stunning women. 

But as if seeing that wasn't enough, I have Alex reminding me of it daily. 

Our families have been going on holidays together since we were kids, and this year nothing has changed despite what has happened between us. So here I am, in a small town in Portugal, having to listen to Alex tell me how Declan was talking with a brunette, or laughing with a blonde while looking very cosy. 

“Oh, wow. You are gonna want to see this, Liv” he says after breakfast. We are chilling in the garden of the house where we are staying, our parents gone to do the daily grocery shopping.

“See what?”

“This” he says, showing me his phone. “Looks like the rumours about Declan and that singer were more than that and that they… Liv, hey. Are you ok?”

“Yes” I murmur, quickly getting up from my deckchair. 

“Liv, you've gone so pale… Are you sure you are ok?”

“I am, Alex. Let me go” I say, avoiding his hand when he tries to touch me. “I have to go.”

“Liv, I'm sorry. Liv… Olivia!” he calls. But I'm not listening anymore. I'm too busy trying to remember how to breathe and to not cry until I'm locked in my room, the photos he just showed me already engraved in my brain, playing over and over again. 

Declan with the singer from those awards he attended a few months ago, the one who had said she had a crush on him. Declan and that girl hugging, laughing. Her sitting on his lap, his hand on her thigh… and Declan and her kissing.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CCIII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: HAPPY WITS 2ND YEAR ANNIVERSARY AHHH!!

P.S. Guys, I'm joking ofc this ain't over I'm way too attatched to this fic 🤡 'Until the very end' the sequel to WITS is coming before the year ends 😌✌🏼 -Danny

Words: 1,574

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Listen to: ‘You’ -by A Great Big World

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Until The Very End.

Exams were cancelled, naturally.

Funerals and reunions were the only things happening in their lives at the moment. Mel and Harry were shaking hands everywhere they went, Ron and Hermione were treated with as much reverence as the Chosen One.

When the castle was fully restored, Remus gave them the marvellous news that he'd be going back to Hogwarts as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor McGonagall was the new Headmistress, which meant there was a vacant for Transfiguration.

"You should apply for the job," Ron told her.

The Hall was still pretty much packed with people, but her hopes had turned into a reality: the houses were now merely a way to organize the students into rooms and to keep the friendly competition going in Quidditch and the House cup. However, everyone seemed to understand there was no point in judging someone for the colour of their tie. It'd always been rather stupid.

"I already have a job," She replied casually. "I'm Head Auror."

Ron choked on his pumpkin juice, Hermione had to pat his back harshly for him to recover.

"You said yes!" He said, utterly elated. "That's brilliant! Means you can hire me right away, then? I'm your strategist after all!"

Mel grinned. "You still want to be an Auror, then?"

"Of course!"

"Well, let's see," She tilted her head and eyed him up. "Good at duelling, a decent Legilimens and Occlumens... you'll need a new wand though, one that truly belongs to you and only you."

"I heard Ollivander's opening his store as soon as he feels strong enough," Ron replied excitedly. "In the meantime, I can work with the one I have, right?"

"You need to be better at disguising yourself and at Potion making, though—Hermione can't help you forever!"

"That's true," He sighed. "Perhaps I should come back for my seventh year..."

"Well, if you do, I promise I'll leave a vacant open once you're ready to join us," Mel smiled.

"Us?" Ron raised a brow.

"Oh yeah, I'm going in," Harry shrugged. "At least until we catch the missing Death Eaters, then I think I'll take a break... yeah, I don't feel like fighting loads after this year."

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Harry," Hermione hummed pleasantly. "I decided I'll go look for my parents as soon as July starts, won't take me long, maybe a few weeks."

"You'll miss my birthday, though," Mel frowned. "It's not every day I turn eighteen!"

"And considering your life so far, it's almost a miracle you're going to," Ron snorted.

"True," Mel nodded, taking a bite of her turkey sandwich.

"I just realized something," Harry yawned as they made their way upstairs.

"What?"

"I'll have to live in Grimmauld place for a while," He grimaced. "I've got no other place to go."

"Don't be stupid, you can come live with me!" Ron slapped the back of Harry's head. "We've got plenty of room! The twins are planning to go back to their flat on Diagon Alley—and Percy lives on his own now, he'll probably go and have dinner with us on Sundays, but there are still two rooms available for you!"

"Would your parents agree?"

"Would my..." Ron rolled his eyes. "Dunno, Harry, would my parents agree to live with the saviour of the wizarding world?" He slapped the back of his head again. "Prat."

Harry hit him back, they fought playfully in the background while Hermione turned her attention to her.

"What about you, Mel?"

"Mum said she wants to go back to the old house she lived in with my dad," Mel shrugged. "I would rather live nearer, though. My Grandad... he says he'd like to have me around, and I think I'd like that too. I also want to stay near Teddy, if uncle Moony is going to start working next September Tonks will need loads of help, I know my mum did."

"But what about your work?" Hermione questioned as they walked through the portrait. "You'll be travelling around for a while, you won't see them often."

Mel hadn't considered this part at all but it was entirely true. She was about to go on another wild hunt.

"Well, I'm not supposed to start working until June, Kingsley said they could do without me for a while. Remus has plenty of time to look after his family while I go and chase Death Eaters. Hopefully, I'll be back before he leaves."

"I'm really happy Professor McGonagall hired him, he's a wonderful teacher," Hermione beamed. "Can't wait to have classes with him again!"

"And with Slughorn around, he'll be provided with wolfsbane of really high quality," Ron added. "He must be really happy, no more unfortunate transformations..."

"I still worry about what some parents may send to him," Mel frowned. "People won't change their minds that easily, and I understand why—most werewolves were supporting Voldemort."

"Yeah, but Remus wasn't," Harry retorted. "And he's the one who's working at the school, so I don't see any reason why people would attack him."

"Some people are just plain stupid," Ron shrugged. "But yeah, I think he'll be fine, Mel. Is not like last time. He's got a family now, and friends that care for him. He's got us."

"Yeah, that's true," Mel smiled. "He's got us."

Even though most of her friends left the castle at the same time as her, it was really hard to say goodbye. Well, not goodbye, she was determined to avoid that word almost permanently.

"It feels weird," She sighed, face looking out the window. "Being on the train with no trunks, no cat..."

"You should stay a few days with us before you move back in with your mum," Ron told her. "Ginny said she found Grey hidden in the brooms shed, and mum says she thinks she's seen Hedwig flying around the house."

Mel knew it wasn't exactly necessary to stay a few days just to get her cat, but she knew he was discretely giving her an excuse to stay close a little longer. She appreciated that more than words could express.

"Yeah, maybe," She nudged Harry's arm. "What d'you say, Glasses? Think you can stand me for a little longer?"

Harry pretended to think about it. "How long?"

"Does a lifetime sounds good to you?"

Harry pulled her closer with one arm and kissed her cheek. It was quite a pleasant discovery how even without the lifeline, they still felt the same way about each other.

"You read my mind."

"Gross, that's what that is," Ron told Hermione, he also made a clear point of hugging her as he said it. "It's like they're glued by the waist! Get a room, you animals..."

Hermione let out a short little laugh before giving Ron a kiss. Mel covered her eyes dramatically, Harry scrunched up his nose.

"Oh nooo—" He complained.

"Have mercy!" She cried out. "My eyes! My poor eyes!"

Ron snorted, he kicked her leg playfully without looking away from Hermione and giving her another kiss.

"I need some fresh air..." She gawked, earning a second kick, this time coming from Hermione's foot.

Mel walked out of the compartment laughing, she moved only a few steps forward before stopping and looking out the corridor's window. She was already thinking about going back inside when Harry showed up, gently placing a hand above hers.

"You're alright?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You have that look on your face," He said. "The one you get before a panic attack."

Mel didn't try to lie.

"I used to like being alone—to some extent. I remember sitting on my bed for hours, looking at the light coming through my window go from orange to blue, then purple, the pitch-black... and the silence... I remember enjoying the stillness..."

"You don't like it now?"

"Not much," She sighed. "I understand what my mother meant when she said she couldn't stand it. It gets heavier with time... these last few days every time I found myself alone all I'd hear was echoes of the fight, all I could think of was the pain we went through..."

Harry hummed, their fingers intertwined and he lifted both of their hands to kiss her knuckles.

"I think you'll go back to like it, eventually," He said.

"You think?" He hummed again, she continued. "Could you give me an example?"

"Well, there will be days in which you'll be happy to sit in your living room doing nothing after a long day of work. Days in which you'll feel like you've heard enough nonsense from everyone, and you'll spend five minutes making a cup of tea for yourself surrounded by nothing but quiet, and you'll be at ease. Then, once we're a little older," His eyes remained on her young, beautiful face, basking on the joy of being able to talk about a future together. "I reckon you'll be more than happy to have a quiet home after we've put our kids to bed."

The girl was too fascinated by his gaze to reply. Ever since Harry'd come back from -well, wherever he'd been the time he spent dead- his eyes carried thousands of secrets from the afterlife, things she sensed she knew but was never going to confirm until the very end of her days.

For the first time ever, Mel was happy to know she would have to wait a really long time to find out.

Next part —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @21bruhs @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle @cedricisnotdead @aconfusedslytherin @greengarsstuff @talksoprettyjjx @moonhoonie @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @avengersz-biotch @23victoria​

[paradox-psyc-hoe-sis]

Dating Bucky Barnes in secret would include...

Bucky Barnes x reader, avengers x reader (platonic), Steve Roger's x reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: I can't really remember, insecurity, there are a few swears, fluff, general stuff like that. No smut :)

A/n: two posts in one day? Who is she. I was really determined to write these and it was quite enjoyable, hope ya'll like it - Aphrodite :D

• So. Much. Sneaking. Around.

• However, you and Buck were already really close before you started dating, so you got away with loads of suspicious stuff.

• For example, when it was avengers family movie night and you all decided to watch a film set in ww2, things got a bit too realistic for Bucky, so when he cuddled up next to you and you started playing with his hair, nobody batted an eyelid.

• Additionally, whenever any of the Avengers walked into the living room to see you asleep on the sofa, your head in Bucky's lap, they didn't give it a second thought. But you both knew you had to br careful with how much you let slip.

• Steve would totally know right from the start. He's known Bucky practically his entire life, so there was a definite change in his behaviour after he started dating you. He talked to Steve about you loads, and he caught Buck staring at you way too much. However, Steve only thought that Bucky had a crush on you, not that you were dating.

• You got Bucky a Polaroid camera for his birthday and he has never stopped taking photos of you since; he has photos of you mid-laugh, photos of you singing karaoke, photos of you in action. He keeps all of the Polaroid in a little box that you decorated for him.

• To help him with his anxiety, he keeps a diary. Every night, he records what happened in the day and hoe it made him feel. You knew about the diary, and you always wanted to see what he wrote about, but you understood that it's his privacy and you don't have the right to see it. He knew how badly you wanted to read it, too.

• So when your birthday came around, he didn't get you anything. All of the avengers gave you presents except for Bucky, which made everyone quite suspicious. To get everyone off his back, he claimed that he forgot when your birthday was. You knew that he had something in store for you later on, though.

• When you went to bed in the evening, you didn't go to your room but straight to Buck's. About ten minutes later he arrived, and he wasn't surprised to see you. He said that he had the worlds best present to give you.

• He sat down and handed you a present, wrapped in dark red paper. Once opening it, all you saw was a small, black leather bound notebook. What an awesome gift indeed.

• But it took you a second to realise that the notebook was his diary.

• "I finished it last night, and I've already bought a new one to start tonight. I really have no use for them once I finish them so I thought you-"

• When he looked up he saw you holding the book to your heart, tears streaming down your face. He thought you hated the gift, that you were expecting something so much better. But you reassured him that the diary was the best thing he could've ever given you.

• It took you a month to read, and you definitely had a favourite entry. February 14th, not only valentines day, but the day you both went on your first date. You agreed to go out and get coffee at a little cafe that you like downtown.

• When you first read it, you were watching TV with Steve in the living room.

• "Today Y/N and I had our first date. I met her at a cafe so we could get coffee. I was so scared that she'd realise how undeserving I am of somebody as good as her, but when I saw her walk through the door, it calmed all of my anxiety. She looked the most beautiful that I had ever seen her, and I regret being too scared to tell her that."

• When you read that, you burst into tears right on the spot. Steve had no idea what had happened, but after you put the notebook down, he gave you a big hug to calm you. He recognized the notebook, as he had seen bucky writing in it a lot, but he didn't say anything. He just held you. Steve's a legend.

• Coincidentally, after that happened, you and Bucky seemed to go on a lot more missions where you had to spend time together. [Thanks, Steve]

• A few days after you came back from a really long mission, everyone had a day off, so you both went out for dinner in the evening. It was the fanciest date that you both had been on; you wore a red silk dress, and he wore a suit and tie. After all, it was the fanciest restaurant in New York.

• Everything was going perfectly, until you noticed Tony and Pepper walk through the door. You and Bucky had never run as fast as you did when you saw them. So instead of getting dinner there, you both went to McDonalds.

• One evening, you were all sat in the living room after just finishing a board game. You were sat next to Bucky, and told him that you were going to bed. Forgetting that nobody knew about your relationship, you leaned in an gave him a small kiss on the lips.

• Steve chokEd on his coffee, I swear.

• Everyone stared at you, and you managed to convince them that you had just found out it was national 'kiss your coworker' day. Not wanting to seem biased, all eyes were on you as you walked around the room and gave everyone a tiny kiss. Steve decided he wanted to fuck with Bucky a bit, so when you went into the kitchen to give him a kiss, he grabbed you by the waist and kissed you for like, 10 seconds, you could feel Steve laughing into the kiss towards the end.

• Bucky was pissed, but couldn't bring it up with Steve because he thought he didn't know.

• Honestly, Bucky is a hoe for attention.

• When all of you are in a meeting or sat at the dinner table, he likes to put his hand on your thigh and trace circles with his thumb.

• His hands are always so cold, and you like to sandwich them in between your warm ones.

• Bucky always randomly brought you gifts. After you got back from a mission? Flowers. After he got back from a mission? Chocolates. Some days he'd just walk into your room and nonchalantly hand you a rose.

• You and Natasha hung out a lot in your room, so it was always a surprise to her when she saw a vase of tulips or roses on your desk.

• "Wow, who gave you those flowers?"

• "Uh, I bought them for myself. They just caught my eye when I walked past the florist."

• Intimacy was a special thing for Bucky. It was never just holding hands or hugging, but it was a really important thing for Bucky to be able to share with you. For a while, he was scared to touch you with his metal arm in fear of hurting you, but you loved holding his metal hand. His arm reminded him of the people he murdered and that repulsed him, but you were determined to change that. So you always held his metal hand, and gave it tiny kisses, maybe massaging it every now and again.

• Sometimes you spent the night in Buck's room. Not to do the nasty, or anything like that, but to just fall asleep in each other's arms with the reassurance that you have each other. But whenever you did this, he had to wake you up really early in the morning so you could go back to your room, just in case anybody came to your room to look for you and found you not there.

• Whenever he had a bad nightmare, he'd come to your room straight away. Lots of the time, you didn't wake up when he came in, and he was gone before you got up in the morning. But every now and again, you woke up to find him cuddling you. You loved it.

• Bucky was never too jealous, unless he knew that another guy was a definite threat. So when you and Steve had to go on an undercover mission and pretend you were married, Bucky didn't take it well.

• On the mission, Steve was reluctant to do any PDA. Although it was what you had to do, he couldn't find it in himself to kiss you or hold your hand. This means that you had to initiate all of it, and you really hated it. You'd much rather be doing all of this with Bucky, but Fury didn't trust him enough with an important mission like this.

• There was this one time where all of the avengers were on a really big mission, and you and Buck were the only ones left behind [thanks again, Stevie]. Taking advantage of this rarity, you both decided to take a shower together. You expected it to be really intimate and relaxing, but it was the opposite.

• "Bucky. Did you seriously just use up the only bit of shampoo I had left!?"

"Yeah, my hair is longer than yours and needs a very precise routine to get it's classic shine!"

[Thud]

"What the fuck, y/n!? Why did you throw your bottle of conditioner at me!?"

• You liked to train with Bucky, but it was annoying how he always let you win. Cute, sure, but you wanted to try and get there yourself.

• Bucky was really self conscious of his body. Yeah, the super soldier serum made him really buff, but he worried that you'd see him as a monster or a freak science experiment. You always reassured him about how handsome he was, and it meant a lot to him.

• You decided to tell the others on valentines day. It would be your 1 year anniversary, and you both knew that your relationship was serious. When you woke up on valentines day, Bucky came in and, with a bit of a struggle, blindfolded you.

• He walked you out into the living room and took the blindfold off, where you saw all of the avengers with party hats on.

• They all shouted surprise, and you were SO confused.

• Turns out, Bucky told them all the night before, and they had planned a day full of fun to make up for all of the time you had lost sneaking around.

• You both appreciated each other so much, and that's all that matters. You were madly in love.

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 8

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7

It's been a couple of days and Sofía finally had the time to Skype with Mandy.

“Works going great, today's been kind of long. Been interviewing a bunch of people to the assistant gig.” Sofía spoke to the computer resting on the middle of the bed, she was pointing it towards the mirror where Sofía was brushing her hair.

“That's awesome baby, don't work too hard though,” Mandy said eating an apple. “Where's Chris?”

“He had some meetings or something—” She shrugged looking back at Mandy who had her eyebrows up, lips puckering. she was waiting. “Okay, yes we did it, we had sex.”

She actually claps like a child. “I want details, bitch,” Mandy said and Sofía laugh

"I had never been fucked that deep on my life and I've been around the block,” Sofia said biting her lip. “And he's… dominant and tender. I don't know.” She waves a hand and shrugged.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Mandy said putting a hand on her chest. “It's like me with Luke, no one can fuck me as he fucks me. I totally get it—so, you guys dating now?”

“What? no.” Sofía shakes her head.

“You haven't talked about it yet?”

“A little, the other day after you helped him ambush me on the bar. But I don't know, I like him that's for sure and he likes me.”

“Well, that's a start—finally, it was like a fucking pregnancy with you two.” She laughs.

“But we're not dating, just… fucking, he's still my friend.” she shrugged

“And Chris is okay with it?”

“Why not? we were speaking that he had sex with his ex and regretted the whole thing, but I don't know, I'm convenient for him"

“And he told you that?”

“No, But—

“I don't think Chris, Chris I know thinks you're convenient.”

“But I am, I'm cool with that—I don't want anything else,” Sofía said, sitting cross-legged in front of the computer, now paying attention to her friend.

“But why not? Sof. he's not some idiot you've founded on tinder—”

“I've used tinder once!”

“That leads to the most lengthy relationship you've had—on your life!” Mandy said.

Sofía rolled her eyes. “yeah and that worked out so good, Tiffany leave me with fucking PTSD—And your point?”

“Is that I think Chris is the one you've been waiting for your whole life.” She speaks and Sofía frown. “I remember what we talked about when we were younger before shit went down—you know.”

“Yeah, I remember… I was seventeen and still a virgin. I didn't even realize that I liked women too.”

“Yeah, that doesn't matter—I mean I'm glad that you're out and proud not the point—but Isn't Chris all that you ever wanted in someone?”

“Why are you making a telenovela out of this?, I already told you—”

“I think he's great for you and you deserve great—I mean there's no men worthy of you but Chris is pretty close,” Mandy spoke as she walked on the apartment back in Boston. “I'm not telling you now, but maybe there's a future with him.”

“I don't know—how're things back there?” Sofia had abruptly change subjects and Mandy stares her through the computer.

“It's good, I miss you—”

“I miss you too, baby.”

“—no one cooks for me here and I had been back at home and mom and dad also miss you. And Ian has a crush on you.”

“Your baby bro?, He's eighteen!.” She raised her eyebrows.

“He's been asking about you a lot. When's Sofi coming?, Sofi this and Sofi that.” Mandy laughed. “It's kind of endearing.”

“Yes, he's cute maybe in a few—

“Shut the fuck up, no way in fucking hell your—Ewww!” Mandy screamed and shake her head making Sofía laugh.

“I'm fucking with you—” She smiled and her phone started ringing, it was Chris. “And speaking of.” Sofia smile showing her the phone.

“Oh, don't let me get in the way!” Mandy said and blow her a kiss and ended the call after saying goodbye.

“Hey!” She smiles letting herself fall on the bed.

“Hi baby, just gets home—I've been on the studio all day.” He said. He sounded tired, she could tell.

“You sound tired, have you eaten yet?”

“I am, dead tired.” He yawns over the phone.

“Not yet, I'm ordering something though—wanna come over? I might have a huge bag of weed.” He laughed.

“Hell yes.” She said laughing. “I'll bring some pizza, go take a shower and relax—I'll be there in a little bit,” Sofía said already getting out of bed.

“You're the best!, I'll leave the door unlocked, just get it.”

“Alright, see you on a bit.”

_____________

“Chris?” Sofia called, locking the door behind her as she walked to the empty-looking house. Dodger came running from the back to greet her. “Hey baby, where's daddy?” She asked him as he moves his tail all over. When she reached the living room he was sprawled on the couch, phone resting on his chest.

“Awh,” Sofia said putting the two pizzas on the coffee table and slide her backpack off and kneel beside him and kissed his beard. “Hey, sleepyhead.”

Chris's eyes fluffer open and his smile got to bashful that Sofia had to sigh deeply. He was so handsome, with those bright blue eyes.

“My sofi–” He spoke grabbing her from the waist and pulled her on top of him and slide his hand under her dress, sliding his hands up and down her ass.

“You tired, champ?”

“Not of this ass.” He nipped at her neck and then kissed her. “I'm hungry though, that pizza is getting me.” Chris swat at her ass and she laughs.

“Let's eat, uhm?”

Chris scooted her again and seat her beside him on the couch. They sat there as Sofia surf through Netflix trying to catch a movie.

“You do something tomorrow?” Chris asked taking another bite of his pizza.

“Nope, I mean nothing job-related.”

“Mm, I've got a birthday party. You interested?”

“Yes. free food, especially cake.” She quickly agreed, Chris snort. “who's the birthday?”

“A friend, you'll see.”

Sofía cranked her neck up from his shoulder and squinted his eyes at him. “Why you'll being all mysterious and shit?”

Chris laughed, taking a sip of his beer and shrugged.

“It's not Brad, isn't it?” She frowns.

“Why?”

“I don't like him very much.”

Chris frown, giving her one stare to elaborate on that, and Sofía sigh. “He cornered me on the kitchen and asked me if you and I were fucking, so he knows I'm off-limits. He asked me out and was kind of surprised when I said no.”

Chris pursed his lips and looked forward. “Fucking asshole. We're not really close, he's usually hanging with us, he's no longer welcome.”

Sofía bite her pizza and looked at him, not gonna lie she liked that… possessiveness on Chris even though she won't admit it. Leaving the half-eaten pizza there, she grabbed her beer and took a few gulps.

“You finish that?” She asked and Chris looked at her, throwing the pizza on the coffee table and grabbed the beer from her hand, and she giggles putting biting her nail.

“Sure as hell did.” He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in, straddle him. Chris looked down at her bare legs as he caresses them, up and down, and then put both of his hands on her ass and squeeze it. Camila looked down and grabbed the joint Chris had previously rolled and a lighter.

“Want to?” She said putting the joint between her lips and Chris hummed at him.

Sofia light it up, throwing the lighter back at the table and took a deep drag, hold it for a moment, and put the joint on Chris's mouth.

“Fuck—” She looked up, blowing the smoke. “So good.”

“Yeah,” He blew the smoke, hand gripping her jaw, his fingers playing with her bottom lip and she opened her mouth and he slipped two fingers inside, closing her lips around them she sucked, tongue dragging up the bottom. Chris slide then out and wrap his fingers around her neck and pulled her in for a heated kiss “You've got no idea what you do to me.”

“I do,” She smiles, lazily, and press herself more against his clothed dick. “Feels so good.”

“I do,” She smiles, lazily, and press herself more against his clothed dick. “Feels so good.”

“Fuck, it does.” Chris closed his eyes, leaning his head against her chest as she started to move her hips, oh so slowly. Grabbing the joint from his fingers, she gave it another go, already feeling light and dazed.

“You're so fucking… cute,” She bit her lips while smiling cupping Chris's face. “Your eyes are so beautiful and blue and your lashes—I want them.”

Chris blushed and Sofía squeezes his face planting kisses on his forehead, his nose, and their lips.

“–Then,” She said. Putting the joint between her lips and grabbed the end of his shirt and took it off, revealing his toned body. “That. all of it—fuck. me.”

“I'm trying—” Chris chuckle, now he gave it the final drag and leave the joint on the ashtray on the table. Grabbing Sofia’s face, she opened her mouth and shotgun the smoke into her mouth.

“I'm so high, that's some good shit right there.” She hides her face on the creak of his neck and laughs, making him laugh.

“It is,” He hummed, closing his eyes as he concentrates on the butterfly kisses on his neck, she suddenly wrapped her arms around here and they just stayed there. Chris's hand kept caressing her back.

“Sofi?” He said, trying to look at her face but her soft breathing, arms going limp. Chris chuckle as he stands up, she still on his arms and carried her to the bed and tuck her in.

“Chris?” She said, barely audible as she hugged her own pillow.

“Yes? baby.” He said. Taking off his shirt and sat down on the bed to take off his shoes.

“You're my best friend, I love you.” She expressed, Chris craned his neck to see her. Eyes still closed, mouth slightly open.

“I love you too, Sof.”

“Cool.” She hummed. “I love Mandy more, she first.”

Chris let out a heartfelt laugh and slide in bed with her and scoot her to sleep on his chest and she accommodated quickly.

“Sorry about your boner.” She slurred, smiling a bit when Chris laughed again. “The fuck I've smoke?”

“It's a strand I use to relax, I've used it for a while now.”

“Relax me the fuck right, I can't open my eyes.” She gulped. “Imma drools on you, so you know.”

He laughs. “Droll me, I'll take it.”

~~

Thank everyone, so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Five

A/N: I'm dedicating this chapter to @xpoisonousrosesx , HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL!! I hope it was a good day, and I pray this is your best year yet. I love you!!💕💕

Words: 3.8k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse

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I smooth the hair dye through Nikki's roots, wiping my forehead with my forearm as he chatters on and on about the album.

"Tommy's fixed on making a song about strippers, and Mick's giving pretty good riff ideas, but Vince is too busy frying in the fucking sun to give a shit. As usual." He complains and I lick my lips and keep quiet. "Don't even get me started on how I showed him 'Veins' and he outright said he wasn't singing that 'shit'. If he doesn't like the fucking lyrics he can get his ass off the fucking beach or pull his cock out of cheap-bitch pussy and write a fucking song himself. Lazy fucking bastard. Then he wants to groan about how hard he works. Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware standing in front of a microphone and giving half-assed vocals is so fucking exhausting--which counting how much energy he spends talking back to me or Mick or Tommy, he probably is exhausted by the time he's done laying vocals and blowing load after load down a line of groupies' throats while Sharise is at home taking care of their fucking child. Fucking asshole."

"Vince has always been that way. I don't know why you're just now realizing this." I mumble, sectioning off another piece of his hair before glopping dye onto it.

"No, no. He had an attitude to begin with but it was the perfect amount for the band. Now he's getting singer syndrome and I'm not dealing with his prima-donna bullshit."

"He's not perfect, Nikki, maybe he's just going through something and he'll get better once whatever it is passes."

"He's not going through anything, he's just drinking again." He states and I raise my brows.

"Nikki, he's not drinking again."

"Yes, he is."

"How do you know?"

"I know what beer smells like. He reeks of it anytime he's in the studio."

At least it's not crack.

"So, this song about strippers..." I change the subject, starting on another section of his hair.

"Tommy just has the main tagline of the chorus in his head and we're working on lyrics and music for it, now. I think it'll be a good single."

"What's the main tagline for the chorus?"

"I can't tell you, it's a surprise." He grins when I step out from behind him to look down at him. "But you'll like it."

"Whatever you say." I sigh, finishing his hair, taking the gloves up. "Alright, leave it in for twenty minutes then we'll go rinse it out." I tell him, turning my back to go throw the box dye supplies and empty bottle away.

"Hey, does this stuff stain the floor?" He calls while I'm in the kitchen.

"...Yeah." I reply before it hits me why he's asking.

I rush back into the dining room to see him swiping the towel that was once over his shoulders, being wiped back and forth against the floor by his boot, probably trying to soak up what dye he got on the floor.

"Nikki!" I exclaim.

"I'm getting it up." He reassures me, laughing me off.

"It's getting on your shirt now!"

"You know how to get it out in the wash, though, so it's fine." He shrugs, smirking at me and I have to keep myself from screaming at him, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Okay. Okay." I say to myself, aloud, feeling his hands hold at my waist and I open my eyes, looking up at his dye soaked hair that's dripping down his shirt now that he doesn't have his towel on his shoulders to protect him. "You wouldn't take your shirt off before I started dyeing your hair, you wouldn't keep your towel over your shoulders and now you have dye on your shirt and I'm gonna have to scrub at it with vinegar and soap. You are a child. I am married to a man-child."

"You can spank me if you want to." He raises his brows and I have to keep myself from cracking up, holding back my smile.

"It's not funny." I tell him.

"It is." He argues.

"No it's not."

"It kind is."

"No, it's no--ahh!" I squeal, jerking away from him as he tickles me.

He stops in a split second, his eyes focused on something over my shoulder.

I turn my head to see Vanity standing at doorway, and I can practically feel the anger rolling off of her as she grinds her teeth.

She doesn't look as sweet as usual.

"Where the hell were you last night?!" She asks him, and I feel him tense up like a cat with it's fur standing up due to being threatened.

"With my wife."

It seems like she twitches at the word "wife" before she rolls her jaw.

"That's the third time you've bailed on plans made with me, Nikki. I'm really starting to get the impression you don't wanna be friends anymore."

"I've been working on music and trying to take a step back from the drugs, Vanity. When I feel like going down hill again, I'll give you a call." He states to her and she glares daggers at him before looking at me.

"You should be very proud of him, Vivian, I mean, really." She sarcastically let's out. "He really takes his marriage so serious."

"Vanity, you're stoned. Get lost." Nikki orders her and that seems to make it worse.

"Get lost?! I'm trying to figure out what's wrong, Nikki, and why you don't want to see me, so I can fix it!"

"And I'm telling you I'm busy working on the album, trying get sober, and, oh, yeah, spending time with Vivian because my life doesn't revolve around my friends. I have other priorities and you're not on that list anymore."

Her brown eyes shift to me, her jaw tightening and loosening the more she focuses on me.

"He only wants you around because you're sober. Just like he only wanted me around because I know how to have a good time."

"Vanity, I'm sure he'd be willing to hang out with you if you weren't constantly on something." I politely interject. "I was the one that suggested he manage his time spent with his friends that were involved in the things he was trying to get clean from." I add. "And we've been together for six years. I don't think he wants me around just for my personal preference of sobriety."

Her and Nikki seem to be having an entire conversation with just their eyes before she's letting out one last breath.

"Fine. Just call me up when you're desperate for an escape, again." She tells him before turning on her heel, stomping out of the house.

"What the hell was that about?" I ask him and he just shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it, Viv. She's fucking crazy." He mumbles, giving the direction she walked out in, one last glance before going to rinse his hair out in the shower.

When he gets out, I've got big, velcro rollers in my hair and I'm putting on makeup.

"Where you going tonight?" He asks me and I finish my mascara before giving a small shrug.

"Duff and I are gonna go try to see about finding him another place to move. They're starting on the album and when he starts getting money from it, he wants to get a nicer place." I explain.

"That's what you said last night, Viv. And the two nights before that." He adds, fixing his towel around his waist.

"Feel free to come with us, Nikki, I'm sure he'd love the company of another guy." I offer, not even realizing what he's getting at.

"Well, maybe I was gonna take you out." He tells me and I look at him for a moment.

"Nikki leaving me in a club while you go shoot up in the bathroom isn't 'taking me out'. It's using me as a coverup." I sigh.

"I'm off smack, Viv." He states, finishing smearing shaving cream over his jaw, picking his razor up.

"Is that why you were hanging out with Robbin last night?"

The thud of his razor hitting the sink has me jumping slightly, and I glance at him from the corner of my eye to see him staring at me, obviously pissed.

"Nikki, don't look at me like that. I'm being honest."

"For once." He scoffs out and I stop what I'm doing and focus on him.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask.

"I've just heard stuff, Viv, that's all." He informs me and I raise a brow.

"Heard what from who?"

"Vanity said she's seen you out with Duff more times that you've failed to mention to me." He throws.

"Oh, Vanity. The same woman you discredit because she's 'fucking crazy'?"

"She's not lying about that, Vivian, because she has no reason to. It's all in the fucking papers, anyway."

"What are you talking about?" I snap and he raises his brows before stepping out of the bathroom, coming back with a stack of cheap news papers...I'm on the cover of every one, with Duff.

I'm wearing church dresses in a few of them.

Shit.

"I didn't wanna say anything because I get that you're your own person and can do whatever, but you can kinda see why I scratch my head when my wife tells me church service ran late and then shows up on a magazine with another guy.

"Nikki, there's nothing going on." I reassure him, finishing my makeup.

"Then why the fuck have you been lying about it?"

"To avoid this!" I motion between us before grabbing the papers from him and throwing them towards the garbage can in the bathroom.

"If I was spending every sunday afternoon on a fucking date with some chick and lying to you about it, it'd be the end of the fucking world, Vivian."

"Duff isn't just some random person, Nikki. You know him. You're friends with him. Why the hell would anything happen? Do you really think I would do that to you--that he would do that to you, knowing that all you'd have to do is call him out for it publicly, once, and ruin his shot at music?" I ask harshly and he licks his lips.

"Next time you two hangout without telling me about it, I'll do just that. Don't fucking try me, Sixx. You're lucky I'm not kicking you to the curb for this shit." He states, his voice graveling.

"It would make sense for you to do that to me, Nikki, it really would. I stay with you after you treat me like shit, shoot me, ignore me, laugh at my fear for your life and safety and the second you think I'm spending a little too much time with my best friend--completely your paranoid opinion, by the way--I'm an embarrassing whore and you're wanting to kick me out of the house. I swear to God, I have no idea how someone can go from thinking they're God, to being an insecure little bitch."

"I don't care if you hang out with him but fucking tell me the truth about it!"

"Like you tell me the truth about Vanity?! How much time is she really spending at our house, Nikki, because almost every fucking time I go out and come back home, I'm getting whiffs of her perfume and freebase. And I know you aren't just around her to talk. When she's around, so is the crack."

"I'm not listening to this shit." He gives one last swipe of his razor over his skin before he's finished, getting the left over shaving cream off before grabbing his hair dryer.

"Yeah, you love putting the things I do under a microscope but the second Nikki's in the hotseat, it's an invasion of his privacy, right?!" I call after him as he slams the bathroom door behind him when he leaves.

I knew he was bound to find out I was lying to him, but when he did, I expected him to be angrier or make more of a show patronizing me for it. I didn't realize he didn't give much of a fight because he already had the sick gears in his mind turning.

I pull my dress and heels on, stepping through the house to find Nikki.

He's in Karen's room, probably venting to her about me, when I walk in to see him pacing back and forth in front of her bed while she patiently listens.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask him and he just looks me up and down before rolling his eyes, trudging toward me, shutting Karen's door behind him. "You're not an insecure little bitch. You have a reason to be upset with me and I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth about the Duff thing. But you overreact when it comes to me, Nikki, you really do. It's like you can have all the girls around you that you want, and I don't know who the hell they are, but the second a guy even glances at me, you're on the defense. Do you not trust me?"

"You lied to me about it, Vivian."

"To try to protect you."

"From what? There's nothing wrong with you and him hanging out!" He tells me, losing patience. "...Is there?"

"No, there's not, Nikki."

"Okay, then. I don't care. Apology accepted. Go have fun." He carelessly waves his hand to the door, but I know he does care, he doesn't accept my apology, and "go have fun" means "just fuck off and leave me alone."

So I do.

"Alright, bye."

"Bye."

He shuts himself back into Karen's room and I head to my car.

"You're All I Need" was written that night while I was out with Duff and once it was written, Nikki found trouble.

I unlock my car as Duff and I finish leaving the Franklin Plaza after just looking at one of the suites.

"I'm sold." He tells me.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not." He shrugs and I chuckle.

"Okay, so now what?"

"We wait for a check, and then pack my shit--which consists of three t-shirts and two pairs of pants--and then move in." He says.

"Sounds good." I agree.

"Now, to celebrate..." He starts, thinking for a second. "...food, and then find the guys on the strip."

"Deal." I reply, heading to Denny's.

Once we're done eating, we decide to just walk down the strip in search of at least one of the other four members of Guns N' Roses.

Seeing Duff's car, that Steven borrowed, parked on the side of the street, we find a place to park.

"Rebel Yell" blares through the speakers of the Cathouse once we get inside, and we automatically look in the direction of the bar.

Like we expected, we see Slash, Steven and Izzy, all down drinks.

I pluck Izzy's hat off his head and turn it backwards before tugging at the end of Stevie's hair.

They snap around, and Izzy's lightly hitting my arm in retaliation while Steven's pulling me to him.

"The hell have you been?" He asks me over the music and I brush some of his blonde bangs from his eyes.

"I could ask you the same thing." I tell him, poking at the end of his nose and he kisses my cheek, squeezing me to him for a second.

"I've missed you." He states as Duff and Slash have a brief side conversation.

"Izzy." I acknowledge him and he nods a single time.

"Viv." He replies, taking a sip of his drink.

"Where's Axl?" I ask Stevie, glancing around.

"He's meditating in the bathroom." Steven in forms me and I furrow my brows.

"He's what?"

The blonde looks at me, takes his arm from around me, holds his hands out and touches the tip of his pointer finger to his thumb, closing his eyes for a second, imitating meditation.

"He's meditating." He repeats, obviously finding humor, chuckling when Izzy holds back a smile and knocks him in the arm.

"Better than doing smack in the bathroom I guess." I shrug.

"Oh, speaking of which." Izzy blows smoke past his lips, looking at me. "Nikki and a friend of his is in V.I.P. he came by and said, 'hey' to us and invited us over." He states.

"Why'd you say 'friend' like that?"

"'Cause she was hot." Steven states. "That Vanity chick." He adds.

"Are they still here?" I ask them and Izzy shrugs.

"Hell if I know. She's fucking coo-coo for cocoa puffs, though." Izzy says. "And she's touchy-feely. A little too much."

Izzy didn't like Vanity because he could tell from first glance Nikki and her were fucking around.

The reason he didn't join Nikki in V.I.P that night was because he told Nikki I was more of a man than he ever would be with the shit he was pulling with Vanity.

That pissed Nikki off.

"I'll be right back." I say to them, heading to V.I.P.

I get in, seeing Vanity giving a near strip tease, completely absent from her mind while Nikki completely disregards her, staring off, looking like he just had a hit of junk.

I feel like I'm spying on him, being nosy, and turn to go back to the guys to avoid pissing Nikki off.

"You find him?" Steven asks me and I nod.

"Yeah."

"You find her?" Izzy asks next.

"Yeah. She's really not that bad, Iz."

His eyes nearly bug out of his head as he snaps his attention to me, scoffing out: "what?" in disbelief.

It occurs to him that I'm friends with her and his expression shifts to a sort of sadness before he's finishing his drink and quickly brushing off his demeanor.

He started to slowly distance himself from Nikki after that...that was a low even he wouldn't try to swing to.

Izzy never told me about Nikki and Vanity, not to protect Nikki, but to protect me.

I couldn't be angry at him when I found out he had known, because I knew without a doubt he would have told me had he thought I would have been able to handle it.

The rest of the night ends with me trying to keep a drunk Steven, Slash and Duff out of trouble with Izzy and Axl encouraging their foolery.

When it gets time for them to start going home or either finding chicks to go home with, all seem to disappear...except for Duff.

I'm walking him back up to their apartment, laughing as he almost face plants, stumbling over himself, giving out a sound that sounds almost like Goofy's laugh from Mickey Mouse, only making me laugh harder.

"Sorry." He tells me, grasping at my hand to steady himself so he can get the key for the apartment out of his jacket pocket.

"It's fine." I say when I calm down.

I watch him struggle to get the key into the doorknob.

"That's weird, I usually always can get it in the hole." He says as a joke, and my face turns red as he laughs at himself. "That was a pretty good one."

"Yeah, it was."

"Here, you do it." He hands me the key after struggling some more and I easily unlock the door, causing him to stare at me.

I just smile a little and make my way into the apartment.

"You need help with anything else or you got it?" I ask him as he steps in behind me, taking his jacket off and leaving it in the floor, going to the kitchen.

I pick his jacket up and place it on the couch, going to the kitchen to see him pull a bottle of vodka out.

"No, no." I calmly stop him, gently plucking the bottle from his hands. "You've had plenty for tonight. You're gonna be sick tomorrow." I explain.

"Oh, yeah." He doesn't argue and I put it back where he got it as he leans against the counter.

"Get some sleep. I'll see you later." I order after a second of him just looking me up and down.

"Wait, wait." He stops me, his hand enveloping mine.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"Can we talk about something?"

I feel a lump form in my throat and I blink at him.

"It's really important."

"O-Okay." I nod.

"Viv, I love you." He says. Relief fills me, not even giving a thought to him meaning it differently, and I grin up at him.

"I love you, too, Duff." I say and he scrunches his face up in frustration.

"No, I, like, love you." He repeats, and I raise my brows.

"I-I love you, too."

"That's not what I'm trying to say." He argues, rubbing his face.

"Well, what are you trying to say?" I ask and he groans.

"I love you."

"Duff, I know you do. I said--"

"--That's not what I'm trying to say, Vivian." He starts getting flustered.

"Well, what are you trying to say, Du--" I'm cut off with his lips on mine, despite his sudden move, it's a sweet kiss that doesn't last but a few seconds, not even giving me time to react, once he pulls away.

"I love you." He repeats and it clicks in my mind what he means.

I just slowly blink up at him, the breath taken out of my body as my mind races.

"Duff," I say, catching my breath. "I love Nikki that way."

"I know. And you don't have to feel that way for me, I just needed to tell you, Viv." He says.

"Thank you, but you can't do that again." I tell him. "I'm married. To Nikki. Your friend."

"I only hangout with him because he's married to you."

"Duff."

"I'm just saying. He's a fucking asshole. He doesn't deserve you."

I don't take what he's saying seriously, he's drunk and tired.

My hands hold at his face, making him look me in the eyes.

"Get some sleep. I love you. Goodnight."

I played it off but I was terrified. I drove home that night a sobbing mess. Not because I was confused and didn't know whether to choose Duff or Nikki, I knew not having Nikki wasn't ever an option for me. I didn't want anyone else. But I was upset because I wished Nikki would have been more like Duff.

Once our affair ended, I realized Nikki was like my heroin.

And Duff was my krokodil, which is what some addicts, that are desperate enough, resort to shooting if heroin is unavailable.

It gives the body a bigger high, but does so much more damage than heroin...even if it doesn't feel like it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Are you okay? My parents would've paid for a cab if they weren't sober enough to drive you back Amelia: My dad was [somewhere nearby cos JJ live in town] Jac: Oh, right Jac: you seized your opportunity then, alright Jac: Is still should've gone with to make sure Amelia: I didn't want her to, she was in too excitable a mood Jac: lol, can't really fault you that Jac: you got a headache, yeah? Amelia: I got the aura so I knew it was time to leave, last time I ignored that I was sick everywhere Jac: That's fair Jac: you do not want that unless you've had a really wild night Amelia: sorry I didn't say bye Jac: well that's okay, if you didn't have time Jac: we were just worried Amelia: is Is okay? I was probably a bit rude to her Jac: Don't worry, she seems fine Jac: you know her Amelia: yeah Amelia: alright cool Jac: make sure you stay hydrated, yeah Jac: and no more screentime Amelia: I'll 😴 it off if I can Jac: Sounds like a plan 🙂 Amelia: it sounds 😕 but I couldn't stay Jac: you can't help that you get migraines Jac: it must be so crap for you Amelia: we've all got crap to deal with Amelia: I wouldn't swap Sav for hers Jac: 😢 I know Jac: she deals so well, considering how fresh it all is Amelia: Where's her boyfriend at? It's not technically a night you can get away with chucking fireworks at your mates or cars Jac: Out on the lash with his mates Jac: or something Amelia: very supportive Jac: yeah, I know Jac: oh well, she had us Amelia: you, you mean Jac: are you not her friend too? Amelia: that's up for debate, but she'd win it over me Amelia: so it probably depends what she wants the answer to be Amelia: and who's asking Jac: She definitely views you as a friend Amelia: okay Jac: No, come on, you don't think she does? Amelia: I know she doesn't Jac: Why do you think that? Amelia: I know it because she's said a handful of words to me lately & all of them are in some way bitchy or patronising Jac: How many have you said to her? Jac: and how nice have you been to her? Amelia: I don't like her, I'm not going to act like I do Jac: Then the issue is a you thing, isn't it Jac: Savannah does like you, and it's not really on to say you know otherwise, simply because that's how you feel about her Amelia: no, it's a me and her clash Amelia: it isn't one-sided Jac: Okay, if you say so Jac: but I don't see her trying to start anything with you, and like I said, I've told you she's told me privately that she likes you Jac: she knows you aren't her biggest fan though Amelia: she would say that to you Jac: Now you're being ridiculous Amelia: no I'm not, she wants me to look like I'm the dickhead and it's clearly working Jac: well no, what she wants is friends who can support her through this tough time and not make her life any more shit Jac: I really do not think she has the time, never mind the desire, to play games to make you look like some kind of villain ??? Jac: we seriously do not need to be that dramatic about things Amelia: fine Jac: it clearly isn't but I'm not going to agree with you Jac: you're not feeling well right now, you're just lashing out Amelia: you sound as patronising as her now Jac: for giving you an excuse for your behaviour? Jac: it's being gracious Amelia: I don't need to be fucking excused Amelia: I haven't done anything wrong Jac: You're being rude to Savannah and now you're being rude to me Jac: you're attacking and saying you're being attacked Jac: just calm down and we can come back to this when you aren't in such a state Amelia: yeah because she's the only one whose dramatics you indulge Amelia: I haven't been rude to her, I've made an effort Amelia: it doesn't change my opinion Jac: You're accusing her of having some plot right now, also of not liking you, being bitchy and patronising...yeah, that's rude, Amelia Jac: and oddly enough, when she went off crying, it was not about you Jac: call it dramatics if you want, but I'd say her home life situation warrants more empathy and listening to than whatever this idea, about us being against you or something, that you've concocted does Amelia: I'm not on her radar when she isn't subtly slagging me off or wishing I'd fuck off, obviously it wasn't about me Amelia: the latter is way less subtle though Jac: You're right in that I'm not indulging this Jac: you're just wrong, that's it Jac: but if you won't listen to reason, and me, then there's nothing else I can do to change your mind Amelia: you wanting me to be wrong doesn't make me wrong Jac: you having no proof for her dislking you, bar the fact you dislike her, doesn't make it true Jac: if you want to walk around thinking people have a problem with you when they don't, that's your call Jac: it's sad but it's clearly an internal issue Amelia: there's proof in every group chat if you want to go back & read it Jac: the fact you're in a group chat together, to plan to do stuff, to talk, kinda negates that Amelia: no it doesn't Jac: totally, when you hate someone and want them to fuck off, you choose to spend time talking to them when you don't have to Amelia: she doesn't spend any time talking to me Jac: well it isn't a private chat Jac: do you expect her to ignore me and Is? Jac: if you wanna have a 1x1 she'd be more than happy, like Amelia: Oh, she ignores Is plenty Amelia: but that's not my fight to have Jac: 🙄 I can assure you, we understand how DMs work Jac: if we wanted to talk just us, we would, and do Jac: and Is seems fine to me, like I said Amelia: great Jac: 🤷 okay then Amelia: 👋 Jac: I hope you feel better when you wake up Amelia: thanks Jac: Night Amelia: goodnight Jac: [hope you do go to sleep so you don't see those gay ass stories] Amelia: [you know she will because she's not actually sick soz gal] Jac: [i mean, you do have 24 hours so bit of a long shot when you're this in love lol] Amelia: [everyone gonna be seeing it including Ty who has been lowkey ignored all night as well] Amelia: [we should say she writes something but then deletes it so Jac only knows she deleted it for the sheer gay drama of it] Jac: [none of y'all got invites to this sleepover, but yes 1000%] Jac: ? Amelia: 🤨 Jac: butt-dial? Amelia: why would I be sitting on my phone? Amelia: I'm not thrashing about with a 🤒 Jac: I don't know why you'd delete a message either Jac: unless you sent me something really 💦 meant for someone else, in which case I wanna know anyway Amelia: I can nurse myself Amelia: though there are loads of lads who would put me to sleep Jac: 🙀 Amelia! Amelia: no Amelia: 🥱 NOT whatever you're thinking Jac: Sure 😉😂 Amelia: 😣 Jac: So grouchy Jac: I'd know if you were texting someone Amelia: would you? Jac: of course Jac: what secret have you ever kept from me? Amelia: I didn't need to before Jac: you don't need to now Jac: you aren't going to shock me with your thirst Amelia: I'm staying hydrated like you instructed Amelia: there's nothing to tell, which is why I pressed delete Jac: What did you say? Amelia: if I repeat it there was literally no point in deleting it Amelia: so no, nothing Jac: Well why did you? Amelia: because it's 😳 Jac: how 😳 can it be Jac: we've known each other at our most cringe Amelia: that was us both being awkward not just me making a massive tit of myself Jac: rude Jac: you're meant to disagree Amelia: alright, I'll lie Jac: you're already being very sneaky, you may as well Amelia: okay Jac: no, tell me, dickhead! Amelia: rude Jac: you're rude Jac: you know you can't just take back a message Amelia: I have & I win Jac: you can't do it without leaving evidence Jac: and I'm not just going to drop it Amelia: 🙄 Jac: why are you saying shit to my virtual face then Amelia: how else am I supposed to speak to you? Jac: I'm not going to apparate into your room 'cos you fancy having a go Jac: don't be a baby, what did you say Amelia: maybe I was saying sorry but you're so undeserving I took it back Amelia: that'd be fitting Jac: oh right, your whole conspiracy theory Jac: you forgot for a hot sec you believed in that, yeah, sure Amelia: it's typical of you to only give a shit about what I'm trying to say when I'm not saying it anymore Jac: you left without saying anything earlier Jac: then you wouldn't speak to me 'cos you were in a huff but yeah, pop off Amelia: I didn't have time to search your 🏠 for you earlier Jac: and I said it was okay but don't act like I was ignoring you Amelia: you were Amelia: but I get it, Savannah's in greater need Jac: oh my God, do you actually get it though Jac: like could you Jac: because this is really gross Amelia: of course I do, her parents are mental and it's horrible Jac: I mean, nicely put Jac: so you don't need to be snippy with me about needing to spend like 10 minutes alone so she can talk about it without my whole family standing around Amelia: I was the one who told you, ages ago, so you already know what I mean Amelia: and I'm not, I'm explaining why I left without saying anything before you hold it against me any harder Jac: you aren't just explaining though, because that was never the question Jac: you said I was ignoring YOU Jac: I said it was fine you left, you had a migraine Amelia: because it's not just about 10 minutes alone so she can cry on your shoulder and you fucking know it's not Jac: you don't like her Amelia: she takes over everything, including my birthday Jac: She was just trying to make sure you had a nice time Amelia: then why didn't I? Amelia: if she really cares so much about what I want, why wasn't it perfect? Jac: She's not a miracle worker Jac: I'm just saying she tried, can you fault someone for having good intentions? Amelia: she cares about you two having a good time, she doesn't try with me Amelia: because guess what, chucking money at something doesn't actually count Amelia: you used to know that Jac: you can't say how much she does or doesn't try Jac: maybe she's really trying, and I happen to think she is, and I've got it on better authority than you Jac: as you said, it's not as if she's had close friends before really Jac: you could give her a break instead of being ungrateful about it Amelia: you could give me a break Jac: no, you're being mean Jac: and blaming her for problems you're having Jac: like how dare she treat you? Amelia: the problem is that you used to care how I feel about things and apparently now you don't Jac: I can care without indulging pointless bitchery Jac: if you told me what was actually wrong with you, I'd listen, I'd do whatever I could to help, you know that Amelia: no, you're not listening Jac: You aren't saying anything Jac: you keep slagging Savannah off, and I counter that and then you stop Jac: what is actually going on Amelia: I've been saying the same thing this entire time, for fuck's sake Jac: When you wanna say what's actually going on with you, and think about that in a way that doesn't involve Savannah Jac: then I'm here waiting Amelia: I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend it with you Amelia: Why can't we literally EVER? Why does she have to be involved in literally everything? Jac: We do spend time without her Jac: but we can't exclude her when she wants to be involved, she's our friend Amelia: she's not my friend Amelia: I'm trying, I am Jac: okay, she's my friend though Jac: we can spend time together, alright Amelia: okay Jac: pick a day, pick something to do, let me know Amelia: sure, put me on the spot Jac: 🙄 god, not RIGHT now Jac: but give me something more committal than that 'okay' or it won't happen Amelia: okay!! Amelia: are you happy now? Amelia: I just said how much I miss you Jac: like I'm that desperate for attention, again, rude Amelia: clearly not if I have to be the one begging you for yours Jac: oh hush Jac: I invited you to something like, literally 5 seconds ago Jac: you were the one that ruined it with your 🤕 Amelia: I didn't mean to ruin anything Jac: I'm joking Jac: I'll survive Amelia: I'm serious Amelia: and sorry, obviously Jac: it's fine, actually fine Jac: you shouldn't worry about it Amelia: if you want me to try harder, I'll try harder, alright Jac: I'd appreciate it Jac: I think she would too, and you Jac: getting along would just be easier Jac: you don't have to be like, her own personally cheerleader Amelia: I can't work miracles either Jac: you said you'd try Jac: I don't know why it's so hard for you but I can't really ask more than that Amelia: you really don't get it? Jac: No, I really don't Amelia: okay Jac: I'll leave you to it Amelia: bye again Jac: You have planning to do Amelia: you love a competition Amelia: what happens if I lose? Jac: What competition? Jac: I'm not planning anything Amelia: so it's a test instead Amelia: it's the same question Jac: we can still hang out, as you asked Jac: I'll just be bored if you pick something boring, I suppose Amelia: when have I EVER picked anything boring? Jac: 🤷 Jac: we'll see Amelia: don't 🤷 at me Amelia: you've never been bored Jac: you're so touchy 😂 Jac: I can't do anything Friday, by the way, so don't pick Friday Amelia: do you want to assign me a day? Jac: Probably Sunday Jac: I'm working after school every other day Jac: Saturday is up in the air right now Amelia: alright Jac: free time is just not a thing I have Amelia: I know, I'm not touchy about that bit Jac: I'm not going to sit here and tell you you're not boring, Amelia Jac: what kind of midlife crisis Amelia: Shut up, I don't need that from you Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: 👉😠 Amelia: you don't need to teach me sign language either Jac: you're gonna side with the 12 year old asshole on that, are you Jac: yeah that's about right mentality wise 🙄 Amelia: according to you there aren't any sides, we're all friends and everything is 🌹y Amelia: so no Jac: Jude isn't our friend, she's my sister and she's a little bitch sometimes Amelia: yeah, again, I know Amelia: Savannah's the one who needs family introductions Jac: She knows who everyone is Jac: you're being so whiny, it's just annoying now Amelia: leave me to it then, that's what you said you were going to do Jac: Yeah, and I definitely will now Jac: christ, is it any wonder I'm not electing to spend time with just you Jac: think about it Amelia: It's already all I think about Amelia: I don't want to fight with you Jac: it's not hard, Amelia Jac: as I said, Savannah doesn't devote her time to bitching about you, or anyone else Jac: nor does she walk around with a massive strop on all the time Amelia: I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Just stop acting like this Amelia: I'm not acting like anything, that's the problem Amelia: it's how I feel Jac: You're gonna have to sort it out Jac: it's not healthy for you Jac: or good for us or anyone else Amelia: I said I'll try Jac: you've got to Jac: it's for your own best interest Amelia: yeah Jac: yeah Amelia: 👋

[weallneedsomethingtobelievein]

1. do you have a favourite sweater? yes a few, but my favorite one right now is my rainbow striped one I got from target

2. what’s your middle name? I don't have one

3. do you still talk to the first person you kissed? I do actually

4. do you get on with your grandpa? both my grandfathers are dead but when they were alive we got along fine

5.what was your favourite cartoon as a kid? oh my god I really have no idea

6. what’s your favourite cartoon now? I don’t watch cartoons now

7. do you read the news paper? nah

8. who was the last text you sent to ? it was to you (:

9. what does the last text you sent say? you know what it said lol

10. if you could have any hair colour what would it be? it would be the blue that halsey used to wear. or the orange/pink split Hayley Williams had

11. do you like nature documentaries? not at all

12. what is your aesthetic? im still figuring that out tbh

13. when did you last pet a dog? I don't know and now im sad af

14. whose friend’s parents do you like the most? the ones that feed me (: 

15. have you ever been on a road trip? no, ive always wanted to though

16. tell me about someone you know called emma I don't know anyone named emma lol

17. are you reading a book in english class, what is it? we’re just gonna skip this one

18. do you have a favourite aunt? that’s a negative

19. baths or showers? I take showers 99% of the time and it’s been years since I took a bath

20. skiing or sun bathing? who makes up these questions???? ive never skiied

21. do you kill spiders? yeah, fuck that shit

22. have you ever made an ice pop? ummm I think so

23. are you wearing shoes right now? no ma’am

24. tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher I don’t have one of those either

25. who was the last person you hugged? it was my brother

26. do you wear glasses? yuhh

27. do you have a cat? nope & im allergic to them too

29. do you have a favourite pair of underwear? LOL I do actually

30. what was your last tweet? my last original tweet (aka not a retweet) was something about me wishing popcorn didn’t have kernels

31. do you still use facebook? yes, I do

32. do you like birds? no I fucking hate them actually. they terrify me

33. who was the last person you called cute? again, it was probably my brother

34. who was the last person that called you cute? UMMMM I can’t recall

35. how did you meet your best friend? I don't really have a “best” friend. I have good friends but not a best friend

36. escalators or elevators? escaltors

37. are you named after anyone, who? i’m not. my mom made it a point not to name her kids after anyone

38. what was your first url?

I've never changed it, this has always been my url

39. autumn or winter?

autumn 100%

40. do you win at scrabble?

no :(

41. put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? I put my June playlist on shuffle and it was Unholy by Miley Cyrus

42. have you ever drunk from a mason jar? yeah, cause Outback puts their drinks in them for whatever reason

43. can you draw? I wish I could

44. what was your first profile picture? on facebook it was a picture of me from my sweet 16.

45. favourite tshirt? really anything that’s comfortable

46. best tumblr friend? do you count?

47. when did you last run? I don’t run lolololol

48. do you like to paint your nails? I don’t like doing it myself but I like getting them done

49. did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? yup I have

50. who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? I think I have to go with Millie (even though I haven't met her) and my friend ruth has a Shiba Inu named Lucky

51. have you ever been drunk? yeah

52. have you ever done something you regret while drunk? I don't think I have

53. do you want to kiss anyone right now? I do, I dooooo

54. do/did you like you math teacher? skipping this one too

55. do you often ride the bus? yes ma’am

56. do you have a fireplace in your house? we used to have one but then my mom wanted to get rid of it, so not anymore

57. are you violent when you’re angry? no. it helps throwing things though

58. do you cry when you’re angry? ohhhhhhh yes

59. favourite Harry potter book? can I say all of them?

60. can you remember your last dream? I don’t remember a lot of my dreams

61. do you go to bed early or late? late unfortunately

62. do you speak a second language? I used to speak Italian but I don’t anymore

63. who was your first ever best friend? who the fuck even knows

64. have you ever had an operation? ive had a procedure but not an operation

65. tell me about your favourite cousin. who has a favorite cousin

66. do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? yes

67. have you ever been in a musical? I have not

68. do you have a porch? nope

69. how many times have you watched your favourite movie? im not really good at picking favorite things

70. what do you order at mcdonalds? I try not to eat at mcdonalds, but on the off chance I do, its chicken nuggets and fries

71. do you get on with old people? I get along fine. I have met some rude and weird old people though

72. science fiction or romance? why not both

73. do you take naps? naps are my life

74. how many classes do you/did you take in high-school? high school was 4 years and I probably took 6 or so a year so you can do the math

75. when did it last snow where you live? I wanna say maybe march or april

76. does it ever snow where you live? yes it does

77. how many months until your birthday? 8 months

78. how much charge does your computer have right now? 83%

79. what is your favourite disney channel movie? I LOVED the Halloweentown movies and Zenon. I miss DCOMs

80. the city or the sea side? it really depends on my mood. I like being by the water

81. what is your least favourite colour? it would probably be brown

82. do you have homework to do? yeah sure tons

83. are you still friends with your first best friend? I have no idea who that was

84. do you have/are you the gay cousin? I AM the gay cousin. they just don't know it yet

85. do you own dungarees? jeans? yes

86.do you like to play sport? I don't

87. what was your favourite ever christmas present? maybe my laptop? I mostly like giving gifts and watching people be happy

88. how old are you? 26 

89. what is your mum’s name? Maria

90. do you ever use internet explorer? no lmao

91. have you ever had blonde hair? ive had blonde IN my hair, but never my whole head

92. is their a play park near your house? staten island is the borough of parks, so yeah

93. when did you last see the person you have a crush on? 🤷🏻‍♀️

94. who did you last talk to on the phone? the employee at the sushi place I ordered dinner from lol

95. pants or dresses? pants 95% of the time. I have to be in the mood to wear a dress

96. do you read fan fiction? nah

97. what is you’re favourite blog? can I say yours? I don't sit and think about which is my favorite because, like I said, im bad at picking favorites

98. do you write poetry? nope

99. drama or comedy? both. I like to laugh though

100. have you ever had a hickey? yeah I have

[cynicallystiles]

Marry You

Disclaimer: Gif originally posted by me.

Author: @cynicallystiles

Request: @laurs-x :  Request for Tom Holland x Reader where they go to visit Tom’s family and reader just kinda falls in love with all of them as a family and in the middle of that night reader asks Tom to sneak off to the court house/chapel to get married and they do and it’s just v sweet and romantic?? love you babeeee 💗

Warning: SO MUCH FUCKING FLUFF.

Notes: I LOVE YOU, TOO! So, I changed just a little thing at the end. But, I got SO SOFT writing this. So, thanks for making me channel those fuzzy feelings. Comment or reblog if you enjoy! I love writing Tom fluff.

Pairing: Tom Holland x GenderNeutral!Reader

Abbreviations: y/n=your name, y/m/n=your middle name, and y/l/n=your last name

Masterlist

Words: 2,775

You clutched the armrest on the plane for dear life as you just so happened to hit a patch of bumpy air. Your white-knuckled grasp along with your shallow breathing drew the attention of the man you loved most in the world.

"Relax, darling. It's just a spot of turbulence. Nothing to fret," he soothes you in that oh-so-charming accent.

You smiled anxiously at him as he placed his hand atop yours and rubbed circles along your knuckles with the pad of his thumb. If only he knew the real reason you were scared to death right now. You were on a plane headed across the Atlantic to meet his family for the first time.

He'd already met yours long ago during the early stages of the relationship. It was a rather lackluster affair as you only had your dad and his wife, plus the two little balls of energy you called your step-sisters. Though you were well into your 3rd year of being together, you were still terrified of meeting his family.

Thus, your death grip on the poor armrest. As if sensing the elevation of your unease, he turned in his seat toward you. "What is it, love?"

"Imaybesortascaredtomeetyourfamily," you mumbled out low and quick. A tiny bit of relief swelled in you from just saying it out loud. But, your beloved hadn't quite heard you.

He leans closer with a chuckle as he asks you to repeat it. "I'm sorry, I couldn't make that out. You're speaking too low, darling."

Rolling your eyes and giving a sigh of resignation, you repeat it slightly loud enough for him to hear. Although you said it at the same pace as before, "IMAYBESORTASCAREDTOMEETYOURFAMILY! Okay?"

Your cheeks flushed with the color of embarrassment that you were this nervous. But he simply leaned over and kissed your temple, putting your nerves at ease.

"There's nothing to be scared of, y/n. I've told them loads about you and they love you already," he says reassuringly.

You scrunch your nose at him. "What if I don't live up to the hype?"

"Just trust me. I love you so so much. They have to love you, too," he whispers adoringly in your ear. You smile and rest your head on his shoulder as you release your grip on the seat and replace it with his hand.

Just like that, all the tension had left your body. You were no longer filled with anxiety, but with anticipation and excitement of meeting the love of your life's family for the first time.

Time flew by and before you knew it, you found yourself outside of the Holland household. Tom moves to ascend the steps but stops, noticing that you aren't right behind him.

"We talked about this, love," he reminded you.

You roll your shoulders as you take a deep breath. "What? Yeah. No, I know. I'm just-I just need a second to remember all the names," you admitted with your brows furrowed in concentration.

He rolls his eyes as he comes back down the few steps he's taken and grabs you by the hand to pull you along. "I will introduce you first, y/n. It's not a test," he assures you once again through a chuckle.

"Yeah. Okay. No. Yeah, I can do this. I've got this. It's just the names of my future family right? They're not gonna be offended if I mess it up the first twenty times..." you continue to mumble to yourself as Tom has already opened up the front door and led you inside.

You're still repeating the names and trying to attach them to faces you've seen in pictures when he stops and you stumble into his back. You peek out from over his shoulder and see the whole gang except for his mom standing around the dining table.

"What's going on?" You whisper.

He leans his head slightly toward you as he whispers back, "I haven't the faintest idea." You saw his mouth twitch up ever-so-slightly, and you knew he was fibbing.

"For an actor, you're not very good at keeping secrets," you say as you step out from behind him.

He clutches his heart and feigns a hurt expression. "Darling, your roasting hurts," he says over-dramatically.

"There's a reason Marvel doesn't give you scripts! I mean you just posted the title for Spider-Man 2 on your Instagram and Twitter," you remind him with a giggle.

He shrugs before taking your bag and setting it down next to the stairs. Suddenly, his mother comes around the corner delicately balancing a tray on both of her arms. "Is that a cake? Tom, why does she have a cake?"

"Well..." he says taking you by the hand leading you closer to the table. "I told them that it was your birthday just last week and they wanted to throw you a little party."

You put one hand over your heart as you watch Nikki light the candles. "Aw, you guys didn't have to do all this," you say with your voice full of soft emotions.

His mother smiles brightly at you. "Nonsense! You're family! We celebrate every member’s birthday 'round here," she says in such a mother-like tone that your heart melts further.

After blowing out the candles and everyone having a slice, you slowly mingle with each other while eating more cake. You were talking with Nikki and Dominic while Tom had started to play-fight with his littlest brother Paddy.

You can't help but giggle as you watch him exaggeratedly fall to the ground in defeat. God, you loved him more than anything. Excusing yourself from the two, you head over to make introductions with his brothers.

Paddy was the easy one to get along with. "Just call me Pads like the rest of the family does. You're one of us now," he says with a goofy little grin.

You smiled brightly back at him. "Okay, Pads." You made a show of annunciating his name and he went back to the table for more cake. Turning to Tom, you open your mouth to say something when there's a loud stomp right next to you accompanied by a scream and hands on your shoulders.

You squeal in surprise and turn to see the twins doubled over laughing. "Oh, you guys are real clever," you say as you fall into the laughter with them.

Tom joins you with an arm around your waist and begins to make introductions. You cut him off quickly, wanting to prove that you could remember the difference. "Okay so...you," you say pointing to the one with the slightly darker and longer hair, "are Sam and that makes you Harry." You point at the other as you finish proudly.

The two share a silent glance with unreadable expressions. Your face falls as the first one speaks up. "Actually, I'm Harry and that's Sam," he says with a sigh.

Wide-eyed, you turn to Tom. Your expression falls into that of annoyance as you see him snickering. "Oh, you boys think you're so funny," you say as a mischievous smirk takes up residence on your lips. The two nod while holding back laughter.

"Well, Fred and George," you say menacingly as you slowly pick up your piece of cake in the palm of your hand. "Let's see if you think THIS is funny!"

You launch your cake filled hand at Sam. The cake and icing smush into his face so satisfyingly that you start to laugh uncontrollably. "Oh, they've started a war now!" He chuckles out.

You squeal as he runs to the table and grabs another fistful of cake and throws it at you. You deftly doge to the left, leaving the only thing in its path...Tom. You point and laugh as it explodes all over his throat and chin.

"You think that's funny, yeah?" He says with that smirk and you know you're in trouble. The whole dining room falls into chaos as cake is flying and landing every which way and soon you're all out of breath from laughing and yelling so loud.

The cake looks like it exploded from how many hands have just dug into it. You can't remember the last time you laughed or played that hard with family. After a long shower with Tom to scrub the cake off of each other, you settle into bed with his arms wrapped around you.

"So was it as scary as you thought?" He hums lowly into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You shake your head as you bite your lip to contain your grin. "Not at all. In fact...I'm surprised by how much it felt," you pause, looking for the right words.

"Felt like what, darling?"

You smile softly. "How much it felt like home," you let out a short content laugh before continuing, "how much they felt like they were already family. I realized tonight that no matter where we travel...I'll always be home. You're my home, Tom."

"You're my home too, love," he reciprocates as he plants kisses in your hair.

You turn in his arms so that your noses are an inch apart and you’re staring right into his hazelnut eyes. “Let’s get married,” you whisper happily.

“That’s my line,” he says as he rubs his nose against yours. “I accept, nonetheless. We’ll go down to the jewelers once we get back to the states and pick you ou-“

You cut him off by quickly pressing your lips to his. After retracting, you speak again, “No. I don’t wanna until we’re back in the states!”

“Well, I suppose we could find a chapel sometime later this wee-“

“THOMAS STANLEY HOLLAND,” you say his full name to grab his attention.

He looks at you quizzically.

“I cannot spend another second not married to you,” you say as your smile grows wider.

His lips turn upward as well. “It’s the middle of the night, y/n. What do you propose we do? Where are you going?”

You’re already up and out of the bed slipping your shoes on with one hand and googling something on your phone with the other.

“Don’t just lay there! Put your shoes on and call Haz! We’re gonna need a witness...” you begin to mumble as you walk around his room for looking for something, not really knowing what.

He’s totally lost but follows your lead all the same. “Even if I get Haz, who’s gonna marry us at this hour?”

“Are your parents heavy sleepers?” He shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak but he’s cut off as you start yelling. “EVERYBODY WAKE UUUUPPPP!!!”

Tom can hear your yelling getting further away as you leave the room and run through the house. Sleepy and grumpy boys shuffle from their rooms rubbing their eyes. While Nikki and Dominic, look concerned as their door flings open.

“What’s going on? What’s happened??”

You turn around quickly to face them. “Tom and I are getting married tonight! And we want the two of you to marry us!” You announce.

Everyone’s faces fall into shocked expressions. Tom finally comes out of the room, phone pressed to his ear. Presumably, on the phone with Harrison.

“Give them whatever they want. We’re doing this thing,” he chuckles as he looks at you adoringly.

You beam proudly. “Okay so you two just click this button right here and you’ll be ordained to marry us!” You jump excitedly with the phone, making it hard for them to press.

It doesn’t take long for Harrison to drive over in his pajamas, still not believing Tom when he said he’s getting married by his parents at 1 in the morning. But, when he walks in and sees you all standing in the wedding positions in the living room he grins.

“So this is a real thing?” He claps Tom on the back as he stands next to his dad and mom. He simply nods, beaming with excitement.

You’re practically vibrating out of your pajamas, you’re so ecstatic. The extremely small ceremony begins and you blush the whole time, eyes never leaving Tom’s.

Finally, and mercifully, it was time for vows.

He looks surprised. “I have nothing prepared-“

“You always do best when you improvise,” you encourage him.

He smiles gratefully at you, seemingly knowing the exact words he’s gonna say now.

“Y/n...you have never once questioned or doubted my ability to do anything. And I mean, anything. Like even the things I was one hundred percent sure I couldn’t do. Just as you have absolute faith in me, I have absolute faith in you. I am one hundred percent sure that you are the only one for me. You accept and love me for who I am, and not what I am...”

You can’t help but tease him a little. “Frog and all,” you giggle. He rolls his eyes, chuckling.

“Frog and all...When I’m with you...we have crazy adventures with lots of laughs even in what seems like a boring situation. You are the only person I would ever want to get married to at 1 am in our pajamas in my living room because you are absolutely the only person I know that would roast me during our vows. I promise to always be your home, even when we aren’t together. I promise to love and support you as you do me. Forever.”

He smiles softly at you. You sniffle, not being able to contain the pure happiness you felt when he said those things. “Don’t cry, love. You’re gonna make me do it, too,” he warns.

You take a deep breath, composing yourself in order to be able to speak.

“Tom...I have never once questioned or doubted you because you have never once proven me wrong about how amazing and wonderful you are. You do those things that you’re one hundred percent sure you can’t and you show me that the impossible is possible. I’ve never met anyone as kind or as understanding as you...”

Your lip quivers and you take a breath again.

“Even though we have crazy adventures and lots have laughs...you don’t stop loving me when I have bad days. The days that I can’t see anything but gray, you sit with me in silence until I can see the colors again. You are the only person who would let me roast them during our vows and yet love me more for it. Your promise is already kept because you are my love, my heart, and my home. I promise to be yours as well. And I promise to love and support you as you do me. Always.”

He reaches over to swipe a tear off of your cheek with his thumb and you do the same to him. You both lean into the other’s hand as they continue, noticing how misty-eyed everyone else has become.

“Do you, Thomas Stanley Holland, take y/n y/m/n y/l/n to be your partner and companion, as long as you both shall live?” Nikki asks trying to keep her voice from faltering.

“Oh, absolutely. I do.” He chuckles.

You begin jumping a bit in your spot, the anticipation killing you.

“Do you, y/n y/m/n y/l/n, take Thomas Stanley Holland to be your partner and companion, as long as you both shall live?” Dominic asks you, having the same quiver in his voice as Nikki.

“Forget as long as we live! You can’t get rid of me that easy, Holland. If I die first, I’m haunting you, and I expect you to do the same!” You chuckle.

Dominic clears his throat a little.“Oh! Yes. I do, I do, I do, I FRICKING do!”

Speaking in harmony his parents close the ceremony. “You may now kis-“

Like supercharged magnets, Tom’s hand finds the back of your neck to connect you to his lips in the softest yet most passionate kiss the two of you had ever shared. Your family claps and cheers in the background as he dips you, kissing you deeper.

“To think...you were scared of meeting my family, y/n,” he says as he looks deeply into your eyes after lifting you up.

You shrug, the giddiness on your face evident. “You’re the one that told me I had nothing to fret. They’re our family now,” you say with a happy sigh.

He rests his forehead against yours as the two of you fall into a fit of giggles.

Discount Avengers Tag List: @sebxstixnstan @holland-haven @secondsineternity @magic-marvel @laurfangirl424 @minnie-marvel @lucky-charms-writes @peter-prkers @greekdemigodwannabe @misslunala @who-the-buck-is-stucky @e-ms-world @hedwigthelegend @marvel-munchkin @sunflowerannawrites

[marshmallowloves]

Hello.🙂

For the ask game: 🎂, 💘 and 🌟 for whichever f/o you want?

Ahh, thank you so much for the ask!! Ohh picking someone is a toughie... I think this time around I'll go with Chrom~ These just feel like Chrom questions kdjfg. I had a lot of fun writing this!! I always love excuses to gush about my F/Os.

🎂How do you usually celebrate your birthdays together?

Chrom: Well, I've never been too keen on the whole "royal treatment" thing. Typically I just like to keep my birthdays between family and friends. Sometimes we'll celebrate with a big feast at home, and sometimes we've gone out to festivals or spent the day traveling. Cecil, on the other hand...

Cecil: Even that would be a lot for me... I prefer a nice, quiet meal with family and maybe one or two friends, and call it a night.

Chrom: And that's with some convincing... Some years, there's no celebration at all.

Cecil: I'm sorry! I just don't think it's that special. I mean, I'm just getting older... I don't think anyone our age is particularly excited about that, ahaha...

Chrom: You're more than enthusiastic about celebrating mine, though, or our children's.

Cecil: Well, that's--different. That's because you like celebrating, and I want you to have what you like.

Chrom: Well, what if I like celebrating your birthday with more than a single plate of food?

Cecil: ...Come on... don't do that to me, that's such a loaded question...!

Chrom: Well? Does our tactician have a solution for this one?

Cecil: ...Okay, fine... we can make it two plates. Maybe three if we're really hungry.

Chrom: ...I see where Morgan gets it from...

💘When did you two realize that you were in love with each other?

Chrom: I always knew she would be special to me, but I didn't realize just how until long into knowing her. After many battles, days and nights spent building our trust... But I had loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her.

Cecil: And oh my, what a confession it was...

Chrom: W-Well, can you blame me? I had tried to keep it to myself for so long. By the time I finally gathered the courage to tell you, I was a nervous wreck.

Cecil: ...Chrom, you were a dork. And I loved it, hehe.

Chrom: Hah... I suppose it was a little... forward. I had no idea how you would react. You'd already been through a lot at that point, and I wasn't sure how ready you were to think about stuff like that. I guess I figured that no matter what your answer was, I'd still be glad I said something... Which I was, haha.

Cecil: As for me... I think I realized it pretty soon after we first met. Seeing him fight so valiantly, learning how protective and kind he is, seeing his casual side... It was really easy to fall in love with him. But... I didn't want to admit it at first. Not only because I caught those feelings... embarrassingly quickly, but because of who he was - the prince of Ylisse, well-known and loved by so many people... And for the longest time, I didn't think someone like him would ever have any feelings for a stranger he picked up off the ground.

Chrom: Cecil...

Cecil: ...But I'm very glad he proved me wrong.

Chrom: Heh... Me too.

🌟What do you think are your biggest similarities?

Cecil: Our big dumb hearts.

Chrom: Dumb??

Cecil: Okay, yours isn't dumb.

Chrom: Neither is yours!

Cecil: It is. Just a little bit. But... we both care a lot about other people. We always try to do the right thing, we can't stand seeing others struggling... We do share a love of helping others and being kind. But we do it in different ways, I think?

Chrom: I think you're much more gentle in your approach, whereas I'm more...

Cecil: Enthusiastic?

Chrom: Yeah, that's a good word for it, haha! But, I'd like to think we're both pretty easy to talk to.

Cecil: ...eventually.

Chrom: Well, it does take her a while to open up sometimes. But once you do, my love, it's very much true. ...Actually, even to this day, I'm still kind of surprised that opening up to me didn't take you very long at all.

Cecil: I'm still surprised, too, heh... This is gonna sound cheesy, but... Growing closer to you just felt... right. Amidst the fog of my vague and blank memories... You were like a light.

Chrom: Cecil...

Cecil: U-Um... I think we strayed from the original question... How we're similar, right?

Chrom: Gods, I love you, Cecil.

Cecil: Ah! That's one, too. Hehe~

[magpiefngrl]

As I completely understand your frustration - I've had the same problem all school year and it really makes one exhausted - I will of course try to help you with your writer's block! So... how about Musicians AU..? Like... one of them plays a string instrument and the other a wind instrument.. there is some rivalry tension there, for sure...

Thank you for a great prompt! I liked the idea of competing instruments, but the story took me in a different direction: Harry in a band, looking for a vocalist. Guess who applies! Hope you like what I did with it :))

Many thanks to @lower-east-side for the fast beta and music industry insights ❤❤

My heart’s a tart, your body’s rent (Mature, 3.5k) Story on AO3, an excerpt here:

The Interviews

When the door shut behind the ninth person they’d seen that day, Harry letout a sigh. ‘This is hopeless.’

‘No, it isn’t,’ Padma insisted, ever the optimist. ‘We still have twocandidates to interview. Maybe one of them will be the vocalist of our dreams.’

Cho scoffed from the corner.

‘I’m with the Kraken,’ Harry said, pointing at Cho.

‘Shush, children,’ Millie said, coming back in the rehearsal studio slashdrinking den they’d created in Cho’s parents’ shed. ‘Patience. We’ve two moreto go, both men. The next one has a lot of credentials. He’ll be here in atick.’

Candidate number ten strode in a few minutes later. Tall, slim and blond,he sported a sneer Harry instantly disliked. He sat on the edge of the batteredleather sofa as if it was contagious.

Strike two, Harry thought.  ‘Your name?’

‘Smith. Zach Smith. People like to call me Honey Voice.’

‘Um, what?’ Millie bit her lip in an obvious attempt to stop laughing.Harry shared an eloquent look with Cho: hopeless.

‘Honey Voice,’ explained Zach Smith patiently. ‘A nickname from my days atmusic school. As I said on the phone—was it to you, Melinda?—I graduated fromthe Royal Academy of Music. It’s—well, the teachers called my voice exquisite.I have a very unusual timbre, you see.’

The more Smith spoke, the more Harry wanted to deck him.

‘Right,’ said Padma, who by then was the only one managing to keep astraight face with ease. ‘What drew you to The Witches?’

‘The who?’ Smith asked and Harry groaned internally. At least theirprevious candidates had known which band they’d applied to—or in a memorablecase were even blinded by what little fame The Witches enjoyed and had comesimply to ask for autographs.

‘It’s the name of our band,’ Cho said in the flattest tone everuttered by a human voice. Lucky that Ginny was at work; she’d have evisceratedthe bloke.

‘Oh! So with me, it’d become The Wizard and The Witches?’

‘No, the name doesn’t change,’ Padma explained. She should’ve been ateacher; her patience was extraordinary. Harry barely refrained fromthrowing Smith out.

‘But I can’t be a Witch.’ Smith’s face took on a patronising tone. ‘I’m a man.’

‘So’s Harry,’ Cho gritted out.

‘Zach,’ Millie interrupted before the bloodshed began. ‘One last questionand we’ll let you go. Have you been in a band before?’

‘I’ve had loads of offers,’ Smith sneered. His honey voice gratedHarry and he decided he’d use his veto for Smith and only Smith. ‘… Radiohead,in fact, wanted to work with me. Thom, well… he was very impressed with mysinging. But the timing wasn’t right for me, I had other commitments. And I didhave to turn down Pulp, too. But: me and Jarvis. Great pals. And—’

‘So you’ve never been in a band, is that what you’re telling us?’ Harryinterrupted.

Smith pursed his lips. ‘Not yet.’

When Smith left, the four of them descended to the garden for a fag and aquick beer before the final candidate arrived. Harry rubbed his face, resignedthey’d never find the right person. It was impossible; the formerly fivemembers of the band knew each other from school. If Ron hadn’t decided to fuckoff to the States to pursue a career with his new girlfriend, they wouldn’t bein this mess.

‘The last bloke is going to be ten minutes late,’ Millie informed them,hanging up her phone.

‘Great start,’ Harry deadpanned. ‘Can’t wait to meet this responsibleperson.’

Twenty minutes later, Harry had returned to the shed and had picked up hisbass to give himself something to do when the girls came in from the garden,ushering the new arrival.

Harry’s initial indifference changed swiftly as he took in the man, whoflopped on the leather sofa as if he owned it. Tall and blond again, butdifferent to the previous man, the way a moth is different to a butterfly. Thisone sported black nails, jeans so tight they seemed painted on him, and whitehair that fell to his chin, making him toss his head back with careless graceevery five minutes.

‘Hullo. I’m Draco Malfoy.’

Oh god. A toff.

‘Draco,’ Millie started. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m Millie.’

‘Mad Dog Millie?’ Malfoy said. ‘An honour. Your riffs are unreal.’

Millie preened, and Malfoy went on to offer compliments to Padma, ‘and ofcourse, the Kraken’s drumming is legendary.’ Cho grinned at him.

Then, he turned his grey, unfathomable eyes to Harry. ‘You must be Potter.’

Nothing else. Harry narrowed his eyes at this blatant discrimination. Hewasn’t too pleased with Draco sodding Malfoy clearly implying that hefound nothing to praise about Harry. Malfoy sounded and looked like an uttertosser and Harry didn’t want him in the band.

**

The girls wanted him in the band.

‘Look, I’ll veto,’ Harry said in Padma’s flat, where they were debating theissue while cooking some pasta. ‘We each have one veto, right? I veto him.’

‘If not Draco, then, as much as I hate to say it, Smith is the only otherpossible candidate,’ Padma pointed out.

Fuck. ‘This is all Ron’s fault for gallivanting in Americaand leaving us in a lurch.’

‘My brother,’ Ginny said, who’d arrived late and had gone straight for thearms of her girlfriend, ‘fell in love. When it happens to you, then youcan blame him.’

‘Just don’t fall for one of us, Harry,’ Millie said helpfully, stirring thesauce, and the girls laughed.

‘Ha ha.’ The running joke had grown old for Harry.

‘So tomorrow then?’ Ginny, as the band’s manager, always managed to whipthem into action. She glanced at the creased leaflet Malfoy had left with them.‘This Draco—what a name— will be singing tomorrow in Camden. We’ll go check himout, see what he’s like on stage.’

**

‘I’ve asked around, you know,’ Harry told his band mates over the blaringmusic. A band that seemed to be made up entirely of sixth-formers wasperforming with great inexperience. He hoped Malfoy’s band, which was to playnext, didn’t veer so heavily into metal.

‘Asked around about what?’ Padma shouted. She’d worn a hot pink jumpsuitand, as always, drew the eyes of everyone in the club.

‘About the bloke we’re here to see. Do you know who he is?’

The girls ignored Harry, so he shouted louder. ‘He’s the son of LordMalfoy. A Tory dick.’

‘So?’ Ginny said, her hand in Cho’s.

‘So?’ Harry huffed, annoyed they wouldn’t take him seriously. People werejostling him as they passed, the music was too shrill and his voice startedhurting because of all the shouting. He really wasn’t having fun. ‘So he simplywants to rebel against daddy for a month before he fucks off toCambridge to study Law or some sort.’

‘What’s your beef with him, Harry?’ Cho asked. ‘We’ve all agreed he was themost reasonable of the people we interviewed.’

‘I just don’t like him,’ Harry insisted, knowing he sounded like a ten yearold.

‘Then maybe don’t go out with this one,’ Ginny deadpanned and the otherssniggered.

Harry rolled his eyes and turned his back to them. The fact that, at onepoint or another, he’d been involved with each of them (even if it was simply asingle Year 9 date with Padma or a drunken shag on his birthday two years agowith Millie—which they’d agreed to never ever ever mentionagain) had never failed to amuse them. His protests of ‘I never dated Ron!’made them laugh even harder.

The teenage disasters on stage ended their set in lukewarm applause. Milliepromptly arrived with a bloke she’d pulled—‘knows the organisers of Glasto’ shescreamed in their vicinity—and they pushed forward in the crowd to see Malfoy’sfriends’ band. He’d said he was doing it as a favour, as their regular singercouldn’t make it and they needed the gig.

‘The Flu Fighters?’ Padma scanned the leaflet. ‘What a name.’

The Flu Fighters consisted of three blokes on drums, guitar and bass, andDraco Malfoy, who strode on stage and held the microphone as if he was going tohave sex with it.

The lights went down. The crowd hushed. A spotlight illuminated Malfoy’ssilver hair and bare chest. Harry adjusted his trousers.

He’d had to adjust them a few more times as Malfoy on stage was—well, hewas hypnotising. Harry found it impossible to look anywhere else for theduration of the set. A cross between Jim Morrison and Debbie Harry, Malfoyoozed charisma from every pore. His posture, his tight leather trousers, hiseyeliner and painted nails, the way he glided and slithered and writhed onstage aroused Harry beyond comprehension. There was no way he’d be able to workwith Malfoy. Going out with Cho and Ginny at school was a thing of the past, achildhood memory they laughed about now, but lusting after a band member Harrywould have to see regularly sounded like a terrible idea, especiallyconsidering that said band member seemed to despise Harry.

The first notes of T-Rex’s 20th Century Boy started playing—an unusualchoice for a band who’d stuck to rather old-school rock so far—and Milliewhooped from beside Harry. It was a favourite tune of theirs. Cho and Ginnyjumped up and down and Padma swayed with some bloke she’d pulled. Harry sippedhis beer and turned to the stage where Malfoy crouched, holding the microphonebetween his legs, as he sang the chorus. He swept his white hair back andlocked eyes with Harry: ‘…Well it’s plain to see you were meant for me/Yeah, I’m your boy, your 20th century toy…’

Malfoy’s gaze sent a thrill down Harry’s spine, even though he knew thatMalfoy most probably hadn’t been looking directly at Harry. Harry’s skin felthot and his lungs struggled for some air, as Malfoy held that gaze before hejumped up and stalked to the other end of the stage.

‘He’s fantastic, isn’t he?’ Ginny shouted in Harry’s ear, and Harryknew it’d be futile—if not stupid—to argue against Malfoy.

‘Better him than Honey Voice,’ he agreed.

 The Rehearsals

Working with Malfoy proved to be hell for several reasons, one being theyway he lit Harry’s insides on fire just by existing; the other being that hewas an insufferably annoying posh git.

They met the following day in their rehearsal studio. Millie and Cho pushedthe leather sofa to the side to make room and Ginny explained to Malfoy thatthey had a gig in three week’s time. ‘It’s a pretty important one,’ shestressed. ‘We released a single before Ron left and this is our chance to playit to a much wider audience than we’re used to.’

Malfoy tied his hair back in a ponytail that left wisps falling on hisface. ‘Will it be mostly covers or will we include some original songs besidesthe single?’

‘About 50-50, we think.’ Padma thrummed her guitar.

‘We’ll rehearse some covers today,’ Harry said. ‘The Pixies. Heard ofthem?’

The look Malfoy gave him would have withered blooming flowers. ‘Whohasn’t?’ His accent seemed more pronounced the more disdain he poured into hiswords.

Harry’s blood rose to his head. ‘How should I know what posh kids like youlisten to between tennis lessons and Latin?’

Malfoy glared at Harry, who was amazed at how he could hate Malfoy andstill fancy the socks of him. ‘You know nothing of my life.’

‘I know a public school boy when I see one. Aren’t posh schools where Houseof Lords peers sent their sons—’

Malfoy stalked to Harry, right in his face. ‘Do not talk about myfather,’ he hissed.

‘Ahem.’

Harry and Malfoy turned to see that the girls had been watching them, someamused, Ginny glowering. Ginny was the one who’d coughed. ‘As fun as this,’she waved a finger in their direction, ‘is, I say we get started. If you’restill spoiling for a fight after the rehearsal, feel free to take it to thestreet. I won’t have you destroying our studio.’

Malfoy nodded curtly and returned to the mike, and Harry picked up hisbass, furious at himself for losing control around Malfoy.

Ginny flopped on the leather sofa. ‘Let’s go then while the grass isgreen.’

‘With your feet in the air…’

Harry would never admit it out loud, but playing music with Malfoy turnedout to be an exhilarating experience. Having known the girls—and Ron—sinceschool, Harry’d assumed the intuitive communication they’d shared was foundedon years’ long familiarity. It shouldn’t have been the same with Malfoy, butMalfoy gelled with them in a way that baffled Harry, even if deep down itthrilled him. Malfoy could anticipate the subtle changes Millie or one of theothers made while playing, but particularly Harry’s; he seemed attuned toHarry’s playing in a way that that was almost mystical. Harry found he couldalso sense the way Malfoy would drag his vocals or speed them up and adjustaccordingly, which would lead the band to new directions. Everyone had grins ontheir faces. Experimenting with each other and their new addition made this oneof the best rehearsals The Witches have ever had.

Ginny clapped in the end. ‘Fucking amazing.’

The next few rehearsals proceeded in a similar manner. Malfoy would show uplooking like sex on legs, he’d argue with Harry about something—usuallyeverything—but when they played music, they created magic.

After the rehearsals, the band had usually headed down the pub or toPadma’s flat for some dinner as she was the only one who lived on her own—everyoneelse had flatmates. As they wrapped up their third rehearsal, Malfoy surprisedthem by inviting them to his own pad. He glanced at Harry as he spoke, cheeksfaintly blushing, while the girls accepted with enthusiasm.

Harry declined, ignoring the girls’ pointed looks. Being around Malfoyduring rehearsals was bad enough. Wanting to snog and also hit the same personcould be exhausting, as Harry had realised this past week.

Malfoy didn’t comment on Harry’s refusal to join them, but his eyesglinted. Harry returned home and heated up a frozen dinner, turning the TV onand eating absently, his mind on the fun he imagined the others having atMalfoy’s.

Read More on AO3

**

Mermaid AU

Dare Dating (8th year)

Pirate AU

Durmstrang!Harry and Beauxbatons!Draco AU 

Royalty/Arranged Marriage AU 

Medieval AU

Fae AU

Adventure AU

Firefly/Space AU

Magical Flower Shop AU (canon universe)

Buy me a kofi

AU Series on AO3

[thewidowstanton]

The best show I've ever seen: Sean Kempton, clown

Actor/circus artist/director Sean Kempton trained at Rose Bruford and Kent University before going to what was then The Circus Space and Central School of Speech and Drama. A co-founding director of The Generating Company, his work includes street clowning, his three-hander, Dirty Mimes and Franco Dragone’s water spectacular Le Rêve. 

After years of working as a clown on Cirque du Soleil shows – I know, I know but he wasn't one of their annoying clowns – Sean has embarked on his first solo show, Stuff, which is staged as part of London’s Jacksons Lane’s Postcards 2017 season. He tells Adrian Arratoon about making the transition from the arena to the small stage, and chooses the best show – OK, shows – he has ever seen. 

What's Stuff about? The show is really about love; it's an exploration of love, of all aspects of love. I interviewed Chloe, my daughter, about love when she was six, and she started talking about her boyfriend, which kind of horrified me as her dad! Then I interviewed a woman called Joyce, who was 86. It was fascinating to see that journey from six to 84. Then I started exploring all those stages of love and everything else that goes in between them. Using that as ‘tent pegs’, I started basing the clowning and physical performance on that. I'm really interested in playing with the form in clown and I wanted it to come from somewhere that's got a bit of a weight, and also a context and an idea to explore. I think it becomes much richer for the audience at the end. 

The show is something I've been building over the past three years and now it's kind of consolidating itself cos it's on tour. I'm working with Cassie Friend from RedCape Theatre, who is a really intelligent director. She asked lots of questions like: “Why? Why? Why?!” [Laughs] So she made me think, ‘Oh, OK, I'm not doing this just for gags…’. Given all that, is the show still funny? I think so! People laugh. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster. At the end of the show the audience say: “It was really fun”, but I'm shredded because I put myself through an emotional gamut. But it still has all the elements of clown. It's very interactive and playful; by the very nature of who I am I would never get rid of that wink. It's just finding triggers for the comedy. I dissect my brain at one point, to find the reptilian core, which is where scientists say that love is. It's finding a reason for the gags rather than doing a sequence of gags.

Having worked as part of a big troupe with Soleil how do you like doing a solo show? It's a very different way of playing. I'm so used to playing with other people and I like the community of playing, of sharing. It's taken me a long time to accept that I'm doing a solo show; that kind of arrogance of standing on your own in a space and going, 'No, what I'm saying is good and people are coming to see it'. It's taken quite a journey for me to say, ‘Actually, no, this is fun’. Last year became the year of the solo for me. I went off and did the camera act for Quidam for a while, cos it's a solo act, so that became an impetus for my solo show. 

As a clown in Soleil, I know a lot of that is sort of scripted but you can think on your feet and throw things in. Is that the same with this show?  Yeah, and partly it's so dependent on who's in the house on any given night. I've made it tough for myself because I really don't know how the show is going to go until I step out and see who I have to play with. I have a framework but within that there are games in which I just play. The very nature of a clown is that I'm always looking for games. I'll throw myself under the bus sometimes and go on a different journey, then come back. I don't think clowns ever make it to the end of what they're supposed to do [laughs]; we always get distracted. So why did you go back to Soleil last year? I did a load of their shows last year; I've done lots of short-term contracts. I did Quidam – I liked closing it [laughs] – Kooza just for a couple of months, then Varekai cos it was coming to the UK. Now I'm their emergency clown; they know I don't want to do long contracts, and they will say: “Clown down in Bogota! Can you come for two months?!” They're my arts funding, basically! The thing I like about being dropped in to a show is I have carte blanche. I turn up and I see the show, sometimes only for an hour, learn the act then it's, ‘Right, on I go’. Also, I kind of rewrite the acts because sometimes they get a bit tired. Maybe it's because I have no memory [laughs], even having done shows for five years I always had fun because I was always changing it every show. It never stayed the same. That was partly my challenge but partly cos I could never remember what I was doing!

When we spoke to the clown/actor Spencer Novich, who had been in Soleil’s Kà for five years, he said the grass was always greener, in terms of audience sizes. How do you feel about that? There is a fear of small shows and being able to see people! But for me play is play. I'm relaxed with playing to a small crowd. I like bouncing between the two. I love big crowds because I feel like I can be really naughty with them. With small crowds I feel like I have a relationship with everybody, so it's more of a responsibility to take them on a journey. And the grumpy-faced person, which you'll always get for a while; I always wanna fix 'em! [Laughs] I made this show, Stuff, so I could really face my skill. It's too easy now for me to play big spaces, so to come in front of sometimes 20 people, sometimes 100, and have the responsibility to hold them for an hour, that's a different skill that I wanted to learn.

As well as Stuff at Postcards, you're compering Lucy Loves Circus’ Shhh! Cabaret with your wife, Michaela O’Connor there… Yes, there's a great line-up. I did it last year too, and I never want to compere by speaking. There are a lot of shows where the compere says: “And now we have… so and so.” It's much more interesting to look at the personalities of the acts and sew them into a show. And last year it was really fun doing that. This year I've been meeting some of the performers and started to understand who they are so we can structure the show, and it's a really nice line-up this year. Right, now it’s time to talk about your the best show you've ever seen… You bastard! Its such a tough question! [Laughs] I know! I have three, because, you know, I reckon once in a blue moon an iconic show comes up that changes the way you make your practice, the way you see theatre that is really inspiring. You see a lot of shows and think, 'Ah, that was fun', but I have three that have exactly the same quality, ones I've seen throughout my career and I've gone, 'Bing!… Bing!… Bing!'; they've been like little electric bolts.

OK, I'll let you have three cos I like you… When I left drama school in '94 I saw Robert Lepage's The Seven Streams of the River Ota (pictured above) at The National. It was a nine-hour show – I sat through all the sessions in one day –  and it blew my mind, cos it took me away from all that textural theatre. There was a silent scene, I remember, where you didn't know what was going on and eventually you realised it wasn't a birthday party but the guy had gone to Holland and it was a euthanasia party. It was half an hour of silence; it was extraodinary. The funny thing with Robert Lepage is he either makes catastrophes or extraordinary work, and this was an extraordinary piece of work. It changed a lot for me.

The next thing was Robert Wilson's The Black Rider at The Barbican. Partly I was sulking cos I was up for doing it, and I got down to the last three people and it was Tom Waits who went: "Aaah, I thought his voice was shit…" [Laughs]

So Tom Waits, basically, nixed you? He nixed me, yeah. Robert Wilson loved me but he was really thinking about my physicality and the visuals, and Tom Waits wrote the music, and… he was right. He was so right! [Laughs] There's no way I could have done what they did. But I would have loved to work with Wilson. Again, he had a very strong design aesthetic, the level of energy intensity was so extraordinary. And stylistically I thought it was fantastic, a really clear, biting piece of work. It was really exciting.

And your third piece? It was a recent show, and for the same reasons as well, 32 rue Vandebranden by Peeping Tom, the Belgian dance/theatre company. It was in the 2015 London International Mime Festival. I found it really exciting; their physicality was so detailed, I thought the character stuff was really clear and I got really geeked out and excited by it. It seemed to resonate with me at the time. Even though you probably can't see it in my performance it really influenced some of my choices in making Stuff as well, just some of the physicality, how I approached certain sections. There are some movement sections in it, that aesthetic is totally where I originally trained before I went into clowning, I wanted to reclaim that a little bit and my older body doesn't want to reclaim it. [Laughs]. Seeing that show was a really nice introduction to a new line of work. It's funny, none of the ones I've chosen are circus, cos the body of my work is circus, but you can be influenced by things from anywhere.

Sean Kempton appears in Stuff on 27 July at Jacksons Lane in London and co-comperes Shhh! Cabaret on 29 July at the same venue during its Postcards 2017 season.

Sean’s website

Twitter: @seankempton; @jacksons_lane; @lucylovescircus

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

Now read contortionist Leilani Franco’s best show, which is also one of Sean’s

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: [So the vibe is evidently just showing up at the pre-drinks at this gfs house, we'll have to be some level of wasted to have the nerve so from the off it's a mood lol] Amelia: [a select gathering of the gays that you weren't invited too, but it's okay because Amelia can't throw you out when everyone else is like yeah come through] Jac: [literally you'd have to make such a drama and that's not you and also no one knows why you stopped being besties so it clearly appears chill from the outside, I vote the club should be a gay one so you have to commit to that hen] Amelia: [agreed because clearly her gf has planned this because Amelia's plan was to go and get that haircut and outfit with her mum so] Jac: [too pure for this bitch, we all know this is just an excuse for her to party like any other night really, which is rude, do something special but no, at least you're simply that hoe so it's not like we even have to work hard here, the flirting is blatant] Amelia: [it hurts my heart because you know Jamelia would have gone IN for each other's birthdays] Jac: [and her last one was start of transition year so they would've still been friends, AND it was her 16th so it would've been really poppin'] Amelia: [brb sobbing] Jac: [thank god jac is also miserable and only pretending to be living her best life or this would be even ruder] Amelia: [and thank god Amelia isn't in love with this gal] Jac: [and that lmao] Jac: [to me it should be like they just straight up make out on the dance floor 'cos her girlfriend is the 'its not a big deal omg!' type but even if it weren't, it is because it's Jac] Amelia: [hence when Amelia loses it it's Jac she's shouting at and being like how could you do this to me etc not her gf] Jac: [mhmm mHM we all know she's barely speaking at this point so she's not gonna say anything and your gf will be going off 'cos she looks the gobby type so you can slap her if you need babe lol] Amelia: [she so is the gobby type, Amelia just straight up dismissing her because this isn't about you babe I gotta scream at Jac rn thank you] Jac: [meanwhile we're just trying to walk away like the audacity] Amelia: [literally like SAY SOMETHING! because is there anything more frustrating than when someone won't react and you're literally 💔] Jac: [there is not, just shouting 'I'M SORRY' ala Tracy because we do not sound sorry at all but she is never a loud person so everyone else is gonna be shook like damn] Amelia: [your aunt Cass would be proud of that, but Amelia just gonna walk away] Jac: [good lord go home gal, or at least a different club lol, also like to point out she has a September birthday so also would've been after Savannah left so that would've been cheery lol] Amelia: [nice parallel because we know Amelia's walking home but fuck knows how far it would be, we're not at Erin's house now hens] Jac: [I'm sure you don't live right in town, your fam seems a suburb type so that'll be a nice trek, you poor bitch] Amelia: [just sobbing the whole time probably, even though she's not a crier like Savannah is] Jac: [you'd have to have a cry, if Jac hadn't gone catatonic as a defence mechanism, she would be too] Amelia: [which is why we're not getting our parents to pick us up because don't wanna be sobbing to this degree in front of them and her mum already hates the gf so we don't want the I told you so either] Amelia: [plus her mum probably thinks she's over Jac by now because we downplaying things forever] Jac: [parents can only be so much of a MVP at this age] Amelia: [I think when they see each other again it should be another argument that turns into Amelia kissing her because that's a trope for a reason] Jac: [yes, you are both owed it without the audience tbh] Amelia: [like I have no idea where they are when that happens, are you gonna show up on her doorstep to have another argument or what gal lol] Jac: [maybe you had somewhere you went together, idk where or what vibe, so you know she's gonna be there, even if it's just a different club and you're outside angsting] Amelia: [ooh excellent, yeah there's any number of places that could be 'theirs' you've known each other long enough] Jac: [precisely, it can be as everyday and unspecial or the opposite as we'd like, Dublin centre is not that big it's not insane to suggest] Amelia: [when do you think that is, clearly pretty soon after because the emotions have gotta be high] Jac: [yeah, sooner rather than later, like we did this for a reason and like you said, it's too frustrating when someone won't react to you] Amelia: [literally could be the next day/night I'd believe it] Jac: [i literally thought you meant the same night so yes i agree lol] Amelia: [omg that's even better tbh] Jac: like you turn round like AND ANOTHER THING, tensions are beyond that high] Amelia: [exactly] Jac: [at least Amelia is angry enough to break it off 'cos the levels of fucks you don't give rn about anything] Amelia: [yeah she's angry and sad enough to be like ffs what am I doing and actually go home] Jac: [thanks babe, we all know it happens but don't need it to literally look like 2nd choice to your hoe gf 'cos it ain't that] Amelia: [how am I gonna start a convo from here because I clearly am lol] Jac: [thank god you both drunk, I can do it if you want] Amelia: [go ahead if you think you can boo] Jac: you home safe Amelia: no, I'm dead in a ditch Jac: great Amelia: it'll make life easier for you, yeah Jac: my life couldn't be any rosier Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: glad to see your flare for the dramatic ain't died in that ditch with you Jac: flair, which one Jac: idk Amelia: you took that over from me, remember Amelia: you really fucking did Jac: aren't you impressed Amelia: if you'd got there earlier you could've pushed me out of the way to blow the candles out on the cake my mum bought too Jac: you don't wanna be kids no more? Jac: could've said sooner Amelia: she's not a doll, she just wants to look like one Jac: who? Amelia: the girlfriend you wanted to share so badly Jac: oh her Jac: bride of chucky maybe Amelia: you did scare everyone with your apology Amelia: very exorcist-ish Jac: I was going for Carrie Jac: oh well Jac: still a better match than you two ain't it Amelia: oh you were trying to win a prom queen sash with acts of charity Amelia: I get it Jac: shouldn't you be throwing all this shade at her Amelia: wait, I'll add her in Jac: ha Jac: go ahead Amelia: she won't accept, sorry Amelia: I did try Jac: devastating Amelia: are you home safe? Jac: yeah Amelia: you do have the 👿👹👺👻 inside protecting you, I guess Jac: its always got a home inside me Amelia: well yeah, you don't ever kiss anyone long enough for it to transfer hosts Jac: you'll wanna get rid of the girlfriend then Jac: before you get infected Amelia: you already did that for me, such a good 🥳🎂🎁 Jac: couldn't think what else to get ya Amelia: 💐? Amelia: no? Jac: thought she might have beat me to it Jac: made a bit of an effort Amelia: she wanted me, that's all I needed Jac: past tense Jac: and that's definitely not the first time she's done that Amelia: what do you care? Jac: you think this is how i'd show it if I did Amelia: I try not to think about you anymore Jac: there's no need to make yourself sound stupid in the process Amelia: not when you're there to make me look it Jac: you'll get another girlfriend Amelia: because that's what is ripping my heart out about this Jac: that's your problem Amelia: stay the fuck away from me Amelia: if you'd done that I wouldn't have a problem Jac: I plan on it Jac: done what I needed to do Amelia: great Jac: enjoy what's left of your big day then Jac: have some 🎂 Amelia: you've made sure I can't Amelia: where's Savannah Moore with a 👏 emoji when you need her? Jac: Sligo Jac: last I heard Amelia: those poor country lads Jac: you've never cared about any lad a day in your life Jac: you can just admit you miss her Amelia: 😂 Jac: hilarious Amelia: not really Amelia: but I physically can't cry any more, I must be dehydrated Jac: unsurprising Jac: me either Amelia: 🍾🥂 Amelia: have a nice life then Amelia: probably leave tonight out of your achievements during the uni interviews Jac: nah Jac: diversity and adversity is all the rage Amelia: that's why I'll be mentioning it Jac: you're welcome x2 Amelia: 🙌 Jac: you sure she don't wanna join Jac: 'cos she's annoying me Amelia: I don't care what she wants or feel sorry for you Jac: yeah Jac: then tell her that Jac: not relaying your message Amelia: I have Jac: she's a liar too, makes sense Amelia: you're well suited Jac: besides the obvious Amelia: that you've done what you needed to do, yeah Amelia: tell her that Jac: I have Jac: not my fault she's so thick she only understands actions Amelia: if she's been messaging you since the 💋 you'll have had time to tell her everything I didn't Amelia: even if it has to be via charades Jac: the fact I didn't fuck her is all the information she's getting from me Amelia: the dancefloor's a bit public even for her Amelia: but maybe she'll be willing to break the rules for you, that's what people do Jac: let's not pretend it was about her Jac: only room for one delusional person in a relationship, don't you know? Amelia: you're ready for that, are you? Amelia: I don't know anything about relationships as it turns out Jac: first cut is the deepest Amelia: if you're going to sing, it's meant to be Happy Birthday Jac: yeah, you wish Amelia: I only got the one and I've already used it Jac: don't tell or it won't come true Amelia: I don't remember it now anyway Jac: bullshit Amelia: if it was 💇🏻 related it definitely didn't come true Jac: you didn't get a fringe Amelia: I still hate it Jac: it's not why you got cheated on Amelia: thanks, that makes me feel loads better about 👧🏻 Amelia: can you just take the posts down please Jac: I dunno Amelia: Jac Jac: fuck sake Jac: one thing Amelia: just do it Jac: then that's it Jac: there's your present, I don't owe you nothing Amelia: no, then that's it because I don't want anything to do with you Amelia: it doesn't make us even Jac: I don't give a shit about being even with you Jac: I win Jac: end of Amelia: it's not a fucking game Jac: you're the only one not playing Amelia: so leave me out of it Jac: that's another favour Jac: pick one Amelia: fuck you Jac: i'm keeping the pictures up then Amelia: enjoy your win Jac: naturally Amelia: 👏👏👏 Jac: you aren't her Amelia: you aren't you Amelia: it still doesn't make us even Jac: maybe you never knew me Jac: we weren't friends, after-all Amelia: there's no maybe about it, if we were ever friends you wouldn't treat me like this Jac: nothing is as simple as you'd like it to be Jac: but sure Amelia: you really hurt me again, it's that simple Amelia: and this time it was deliberate Jac: and you don't hurt the people you love Jac: grow up, Amelia Amelia: not like that Jac: that's easier for you Amelia: what about ANY of this is easy for me? Amelia: you told me to try, I did Amelia: now what? Jac: it isn't my responsibility to worry about that Jac: you figure it out Amelia: I had it figured out and you tore it down Amelia: take some fucking responsibility for that Jac: what, with your shit girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about you Jac: that was wrecked before I got there Jac: deal with that Amelia: you wrecked me before she got there Amelia: I still think about you all the time, miss you all the time Amelia: and I do have to deal with that, all the time Jac: and I've got nothing to deal with Amelia: of course you do Amelia: happy people don't gatecrash and ruin other people's birthdays Jac: then you'll forgive me for not feeling sorry for you Amelia: I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to be sorry for what you just did Jac: you want a lot Amelia: not this time Amelia: it's bare minimum Jac: I'm happy to disappoint and leave you wanting Amelia: then you win again Amelia: congratulations Jac: yipee Amelia: Don't contact me again unless you're got something to say that means something Jac: fine Amelia: you sound faker than Savannah could ever Amelia: it'd be impressive if it worked Jac: have I contacted you before now? Amelia: that doesn't matter because today you did Jac: today I ruined your relationship and birthday Jac: then I asked if you got home Amelia: yeah, and that all means something Jac: it means I wanted to fuck up your life Amelia: at least that wish came true Jac: there's always shooting stars and eyelashes when there isn't candles Amelia: there isn't a quick fix for this Jac: there's no fix Jac: there's only out and it's still 2 fucking years away Amelia: you were supposed to give me time, that's supposed to be one Jac: well I didn't feel like it today Amelia: clearly Jac: get over it Amelia: I'm not even through it, it literally just happened Jac: I'm not apologising, I can't be any clearer Amelia: then don't Amelia: I didn't know how to beg you when we were friends, I can't do it with this version of you Jac: Done? Amelia: I was done before I actually got home Jac: Well I've not gone home Jac: so we both lied there then Amelia: Where have you gone? Jac: what's it to you? Amelia: I don't want what happened to Is to happen to you, or worse Amelia: I care about you Jac: it won't Amelia: I'm calling your parents Jac: maybe I've told them you're obsessed with me already Amelia: maybe but it's still ringing Amelia: they can decide what they want to do Jac: you're such a snitch Amelia: because I really care what you think of me right now Jac: nah, just hope it makes you feel good about yourself worrying my parents for nothing Amelia: I don't feel good about myself because of you Amelia: your parents are irrelevant to me Jac: we've got that in common then Amelia: they're probably going to want to talk to you and I don't so goodnight Jac: Bold of you to think I'd answer Jac: but it is a reason to turn my phone off so yeah Jac: later Amelia: you're really 😎 we get it Jac: that's what I'm doing Jac: you're so smart Amelia: it's why you want to keep the pics up Amelia: like a 🏆 Jac: i wanna keep em up so you have to see them Amelia: I don't have to see them, I've already blocked you both Jac: 😂 Amelia: What's funny? Jac: 🤡😥 would've been more applicable, perhaps Amelia: probably Jac: you can pal up with Is again, she's up for it Amelia: yeah because I really want to drag her into whatever 🎪 you've started up between us Jac: you're so considerate Amelia: something really fucked up happened to her, you were there, don't act like you don't remember Jac: and you weren't there Amelia: I know that Jac: then you don't get to say shit to me about it Amelia: I'm not, I'm saying this isn't about Is Jac: when is it ever Jac: poor girl Amelia: stop it Jac: you walked out on her Jac: she didn't have enough daddy issues? Amelia: I walked out on you Jac: same difference Amelia: you said you'd let me Jac: and I did Amelia: until now Jac: you're only 17 once Jac: it's not going to happen again Amelia: it shouldn't have happened at all Jac: should woulda coulda Amelia: promise me that this is it Jac: I don't fancy your girlfriend Jac: kissing her was bad enough Amelia: I mean, promise me that I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next 2 years in case you decide that you want to ruin my life again Amelia: because I can't Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm serious, I'll leave school before I let you do this to me for a third time Jac: I'm not in a position to be making promises about anything, to anyone Jac: I'll try Amelia: okay Jac: just Jac: I don't know Jac: never mind Amelia: you're scaring me, you know Amelia: I should've made you promise not to do any reckless shit back then instead of the other way round Jac: everyone's scared Jac: they say it like I can change it Amelia: I thought I was doing the right thing but everything just keeps getting worse Amelia: for me, you and Is Amelia: even for Savannah, Sligo for fuck's sake Jac: even if you'd done it different Jac: I'd still have done the same Jac: it still would've all happened Amelia: what are you going to do now? Jac: nothing matters now Amelia: you matter Amelia: to me Amelia: come to my 🏠 I'll call your parents back Jac: we're not doing this again Jac: no Jac: it's bad enough i have people in my life i can't get rid of Amelia: we're not doing anything Jac: stop caring about me Amelia: I can't Jac: how much more do I have to ruin your life Amelia: you have ruined it, that doesn't mean I want you to be dead in a ditch Jac: all I'm going to do is break your heart over and over and then I'm going to leave forever Amelia: tonight it's already broken and that's all I'm talking about Amelia: take the guest bedroom Jac: no Jac: because then my family will just think we're friends again and that I'm fine Jac: I'll go home, okay, just stop Amelia: if you stop lying, I'll stop this Jac: I'll send you proof, for fuck's sake Amelia: okay Jac: fine Amelia: [we're just waiting for that pic like] Jac: [however long this is gonna take, at least you're probably a bit more central, the most begrudging pic of the front door lmao] Amelia: no, put your outfit in it so I know it wasn't stored on your phone Jac: 'cos I just have pictures of my door Jac: [but does, some weird angle to not get your face in] Jac: haven't got a newspaper, so sorry Amelia: if you hadn't stopped the party early, they might have been delivered Jac: it was a crap party anyway Jac: she hadn't even booked a table Amelia: Yeah Jac: at least you can have a better girlfriend for your 18th Amelia: can I? Are you going to let me Jac: probably not Jac: but if she's less easy to ruin then there's nothing I can do about that Amelia: you'd have to try something else, that's all Jac: obviously Jac: I'm still smart Amelia: I'm not giving you a compliment Jac: I'm not saying I'm not going to ruin your chances at happiness Amelia: it's not like I need you to Amelia: SO capable on my own Jac: it's not taking credit if you're making excuses for me Jac: but alright Amelia: I'm talking about the 💇🏻 which you can't take credit for Jac: it suits you Amelia: that is the most hurtful thing you've ever said Amelia: take it back Jac: it's also true Jac: and you wanted me to stop lying Amelia: 😒 Jac: at least you don't look like every other girl now Amelia: you think I did before? Amelia: also that's because no other girl wants to look like 👧🏻 Jac: I mean everyone has the same hair Jac: you stand out more Amelia: you don't Jac: well I'm special, obviously Amelia: I know Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 😉 Jac: you're an idiot Jac: Jude better be at a sleepover Amelia: her hair stands out Jac: you should tell her that Jac: she'll be so glad her attention-seeking doesn't go unnoticed Amelia: she think I'm flirting with her so no Jac: oh yeah Jac: you're a predatory lesbian now Amelia: I kissed you Jac: after I kissed your girlfriend Amelia: you don't fancy her Amelia: that wasn't why you did it Jac: she fancies herself enough Amelia: So does Savannah, that wasn't a problem for you Jac: don't talk about her Amelia: sure, I wouldn't want to upset you Amelia: what's the point being 💔 if you're not the saddest Jac: she's gone, there's no point talking about her Amelia: my parents know hers, she's not gone from dinner table conversation at my 🏠 Jac: sucks for you then Amelia: sucks more for her that she's been sent to catholic school Jac: Catholic school? Amelia: yeah, her dad had that brainwave Jac: that is unfortunate Jac: probably a better school than ours though, so she'll be thrilled Amelia: it's my dad's favourite joke threat now Jac: at least you could avoid me Amelia: true, I should call his bluff and take him up on it next time Jac: go for it Jac: it's only me that has to write off this shit school on her uni app Amelia: the rest of your app will more than make up for it Jac: that's the plan Amelia: exactly, so it's not technically a compliment Jac: you're shit at this Amelia: thanks Jac: no, that really wasn't a compliment Jac: not one of your not technicallys Amelia: 😏 Jac: did you get a car Jac: I bet you got a car Amelia: [a picture of it because why not say she did] Jac: just got to pass now Jac: then you can go where you like Amelia: then I can runaway Jac: nah Jac: they'd take you off their insurance and you'd be fucked Amelia: because I'd never drive without insurance Jac: the police would be frantically looking for you as is Jac: that's always how murderers get caught out Amelia: 🤫 you're ruining this too Jac: you fantasize on your own time Amelia: this is my own time, you're home safe Amelia: I don't owe you my full attention now that your 👅 isn't in my ex girlfriend's mouth Jac: have you kissed anyone else Amelia: no Jac: do you regret it being her Amelia: it wasn't you, that's what I regret Amelia: but it couldn't be so Jac: yeah Jac: at least it was a girl Amelia: I'm not stupid enough to kiss any boys Jac: some just call it heterosexual Amelia: and I'm not so it'd be stupid for me Jac: alright Amelia: but I should probably kiss more girls Jac: why should you Amelia: because she'll think all the wrong things if I don't Jac: true Jac: I thought you didn't care about what people thought though Amelia: I'm going to have to find new friends from somewhere Jac: don't you gays stick together Amelia: she sticks with them and I don't want to see her Jac: you move fast Amelia: I don't really have a choice, do I? Jac: I don't need friends Amelia: handy since you don't have any Jac: that's why I don't Amelia: yeah, because you only care about what you need Jac: duh Amelia: did you ever care about me? Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: did you ever care about me when it wasn't because you needed something? Jac: what kind of question is that Amelia: one I need the answer to Jac: we were friends forever Jac: what did I get from it half the time Jac: no more than you did or didn't Amelia: okay Jac: that was a dick move making me answer that when you already knew Amelia: I didn't know Amelia: whenever I talk to you I end up with more questions than answers Amelia: and end up questioning my sanity Jac: you don't need to Jac: your work here is done Amelia: you can't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you said you were going to Jac: so you're going to continue to make a bad decision, just to be awkward Jac: that's smart Amelia: because you have such good reasons for doing what you did earlier Jac: 'course I do Amelia: go on then Amelia: tell me them Jac: already did Jac: I wanted to fuck it up for you Jac: felt great Amelia: there's smarter ways to feel good, and easier Jac: I've tried those Amelia: oh well I loved being your little experiment, thanks Jac: whatever Jac: it needed to be done Amelia: no it didn't Amelia: you keep saying that Jac: you don't get it Amelia: I don't buy into your fake bullshit, no, and that's all you've given me all night Jac: what's fucking fake about the fact I can't stand to have anyone around me happy? Jac: there's nothing fake about misery being the only thing I can stomach now Amelia: you didn't break up your parents or ruin your brother's music career, you sought me out when I haven't even been around you Amelia: you're full of shit Jac: trust me, I'm doing my best Jac: and you're full of shit if you're now trying to say you don't see me every day Jac: and that it isn't the fucking worst Amelia: I thought it was, until you did this Amelia: now I can say today was the worst Amelia: you're so fucking selfish and cruel Jac: nothing has changed Jac: I sped up your inevitable break-up, that's it Amelia: no, you went out of your way to hurt and humiliate me Amelia: everything has changed Jac: if you say so Jac: it wasn't the first time for me Amelia: who are you? Jac: it doesn't matter Amelia: who the fuck are you? Jac: I don't know, Amelia Jac: alright Amelia: you can't treat people like this Jac: then tell everyone what I did Jac: I don't care Jac: you could've done something about it Amelia: what did you want me to do? Jac: I thought you might put up more of a fight Amelia: for what? Against what? Jac: because I humiliated you Amelia: it wasn't the first time for me either Jac: never like that Amelia: I'm not going to fight you Jac: your loss Amelia: I keep telling you, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you Jac: I wish you'd stop Amelia: I wish I could Jac: yeah Jac: well Amelia: it's my loss, like you said Jac: don't worry, I've got my own Amelia: that makes me feel loads better Jac: it should Amelia: it doesn't Jac: you're infuriating Amelia: says you Amelia: I'm so angry at you Jac: because I wanted you to be Jac: that's the correct response Amelia: no, because I love you too much to hate you Amelia: because it won't go away Amelia: and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life no matter what you do Jac: I don't have the answer Jac: If I could make you stop then I would Jac: but I don't know how Amelia: me either Jac: there's nothing I can do if you don't hate me by now Jac: I dropped you for Savannah Jac: I did everything I did tonight Amelia: I was there, I don't need you to recap Jac: I couldn't have made it easier Amelia: there's something wrong with me, there must be Jac: not as bad as me Amelia: my mum said at the time that I fell in love with you years ago and I can't expect to fall out of it in a few weeks or months Jac: logic adds up Amelia: she thinks I'm over it now so clearly not Jac: you probably said you were Jac: or near enough Amelia: the girlfriend thing kind of said it for me Jac: yeah well Jac: I've had loads of boyfriends Amelia: you're not in love with me Jac: I meant it doesn't mean anything, necessarily Amelia: yeah Amelia: my mum is more old fashioned though Amelia: romantic or whatever Jac: more romantic than your girlfriend, yeah Amelia: 🙄 Jac: she wasn't good enough for you anyway Amelia: I'm not good enough for anyone Amelia: I'm literally still in love with someone else who isn't them Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: you can feel things for more than one person Jac: you just, didn't for her and she wasn't worth it Amelia: maybe other people can but I don't Jac: how would you know Jac: it just hasn't happened yet Amelia: I'm too self aware if anything Jac: that's some lesbian nonsense Amelia: I'll put it in my bio then Jac: tinder Amelia: I'm not kissing that many girls, she'll definitely think all the wrong things Jac: be kicking herself, like Jac: or is it only okay when she does it Amelia: probably Jac: just like a lad Amelia: 😣 Jac: awh Amelia: I can't be bothered Jac: with girls? Amelia: I'm not trying anymore, you didn't keep your promises anyway Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: it means I don't care, my life can stay the mess you wanted it to be Jac: alright Jac: not like I can turn around and say 'no don't' now Amelia: and if you turn around you won't see me Jac: what? Amelia: school, I'm not doing it either Jac: shut up Amelia: online maybe so my dad doesn't rage Jac: that's bullshit Amelia: so is this Jac: no, fuck you Amelia: 😂 Jac: so you all get to fucking leave and I'm the one stuck dealing Jac: nah Amelia: I've got nothing to stay for Jac: it's school, no one does Jac: jesus Amelia: you said yourself it sucks having to see me every day Amelia: I'm doing you a favour Jac: you are ridiculous Jac: you think you can just run away like this is some shit indie song Amelia: I've tried the alternative Amelia: it didn't go great Jac: you think Savannah is bad? at least her parents made her go Jac: you're such a spoilt brat Amelia: I don't think about Savannah Jac: you don't think about anything Jac: christ Amelia: your audacity is another level Jac: your stupidity is worse Amelia: yeah, I've proved that loads of times over Jac: fucking hell Jac: your life is so hard, Meelie, yeah Jac: everyone thinks its my fault, what happened to Is Jac: and the more she says otherwise, the more it sounds like it was Amelia: no they don't, I don't Jac: well you love me so you're clearly insane and a bit biased Amelia: even if I hated you I'd still know that you weren't the one who assaulted her Amelia: it's his fault, nobody else's Jac: me and Sav still ran like we had something to hide Jac: that's all anyone cares about, working out what Amelia: you were scared, in shock probably Amelia: you felt like it was your fault Amelia: that doesn't mean it was Jac: all I know is she's fucked off, no one will say anything to Is, so it's all down to me, whatever people wanna say or think about it Jac: so yeah, sorry I think your idea is fucking laughable but been there, done that Jac: didn't solve anything, it only made the rest worse Amelia: I know it's a stupid idea, alright Jac: you can't go, alright, you just can't Amelia: you know I'll fight the whole school before I'd ever fight you Amelia: I'll do it for you too, if that will help Jac: Yeah, I do Jac: nothing will help but Jac: at least you're still here Jac: nothing else is the same Amelia: I'll be in detention every day for the next 2 years if that's what it takes to shut people up Jac: I don't deserve it Jac: or anything but hate from you, and I do fucking know that Amelia: you don't deserve to get the blame for being there and being her friend Amelia: I should've been too Amelia: and after it happened we should've talked Jac: maybe it's just karma Jac: I've never been a good friend to her and by the time it happened Jac: well Jac: I made you leave Amelia: I ruined our friend so I had to leave Amelia: *ship Amelia: that's not your fault either Jac: maybe it is Amelia: it's not Amelia: I shouldn't have told you how I felt Amelia: or been jealous of Savannah Amelia: or made such a big deal about the date you went on Jac: no Jac: I get it Jac: you weren't wrong Amelia: I did the wrong thing by leaving you and Is Jac: I couldn't wish the alternative on you Jac: having to stick around and watch Amelia: I still had to watch Amelia: I couldn't go that far Jac: I know it's my fault because it happened again Amelia: what? Jac: Savannah Jac: I kissed her Amelia: I don't understand Jac: you should have been jealous of her Jac: I mean Jac: you know what I mean Amelia: you mean you felt something for her Jac: I didn't want to feel any of it Jac: but she was straight and you weren't so having her around was meant to be easier Amelia: why didn't you just tell me? Amelia: you lied and lied and made me feel crazy Jac: because I feel crazy Jac: I fucking am Jac: I just Jac: it's not like I left that conversation and told her Jac: I kept on and got with lads and pretended to like it, tried to Amelia: everything you said, everything you did Amelia: oh my god Amelia: I can't Amelia: I can't take this in Jac: like I said, it's fucking karma Jac: I fucked it with you and it happened to me Amelia: I'm supposed to feel what, that she queerbaited you? Happy? validated? Jac: I don't know Jac: probably Amelia: did you know how you felt about her when I told you how I felt? Jac: why? Amelia: because you told me over and over again that you liked boys and you'd change that if you could Jac: yes, and I told her the same thing Jac: and I acted accordingly Amelia: I've spent so long feeling horrible for putting you in that position and none of it was real Jac: it was real Jac: I don't want to be Jac: I want to be straight Amelia: it isn't a choice Amelia: and you can't just twist everything to make it one Jac: acting or not acting on it is Amelia: so why did you choose to act on it by kissing her, if that's what you think? Jac: it was a mistake Jac: when we left Jac: after Is Jac: and it was just us Jac: then it destroyed everything and she's literally run away Amelia: and then you destroyed what was left after she'd gone Jac: yes Amelia: great Jac: I'm aware Amelia: are you? Amelia: for years I thought things were one way only to be told they weren't and now you're telling me an entirely different story again Amelia: 🤯 Jac: because we don't live in the ideal world where I accept myself for liking girls and I choose the right one and we live happily ever after Jac: we live in the world where I kissed Savannah and she looked at me like I was the boy who assaulted Isabelle Jac: and that's how I feel about it, and I would rather pretend to be straight forever, and have no real friends again, than have to do that, and feel that disgust again Amelia: we live in a world that doesn't revolve around Savannah fucking Moore Amelia: because she doesn't accept you, you can't accept yourself? No Jac: it's not her fault Jac: the rules don't make no fucking sense Jac: do you know how often she told me she loved me, how beautiful I was, and smart and perfect and kind, that she wanted me in her life forever? Jac: but that doesn't mean she wants to kiss me Amelia: that's why it literally is her fault Amelia: she flirted with you more than I EVER have, or would dare to openly do because I would get called a predatory lesbian and she gets likes and follows Jac: but she meant it Jac: I know she did Jac: that's just friendship to her Jac: it's too confusing Amelia: you want her to have meant it the same way you did, like I wanted you to with me Jac: but I did Jac: I lied Jac: so I know it doesn't make a difference now Jac: but still, you weren't wrong and I did, I am, whatever Jac: it was shitty to lie, I know, I accept it Jac: but she meant it all but she is straight...how does that work Amelia: I don't know Amelia: straight people are weird Jac: I don't want to find that relatable Jac: I want to be normal Amelia: I'm not abnormal, shut up Jac: fine, straight Jac: I don't want to ever have to think about this ever again Amelia: why do you want it so bad? Jac: so I don't feel like this Jac: the not knowing Jac: how much it hurts Jac: boys are easy, I told you Amelia: because you don't like them Amelia: if you were straight you'd get hurt just the same Amelia: you said it, Valentina's no different than a lad Jac: lads just like me Jac: I've never kissed any lad and had them recoil Amelia: they liked me too, it doesn't mean I had to like them back Jac: I mean it's not the same Jac: if a lad didn't like me, he'd have reasons Amelia: loads of girls like you too, I was friends with them for a bit, I heard all that gossip Amelia: Savannah's reason is that she doesn't like girls, any of them Jac: but she loves me Jac: more than she ever did Ty, I fucking know it Amelia: not like that, like Is loved us Jac: I can't stand it Amelia: I know Jac: you know I am sorry Jac: don't you Amelia: yeah Jac: you just had come so far and had done so much work Jac: it wasn't fair Jac: what I did wasn't, but it wouldn't have been to act on it, when I wanted so badly to be straight, for everything I did tell you to be true Amelia: no, I was in exactly the same place that we left each other in Amelia: you're not the only one who can lie Jac: I'm just so sorry but that's worth fuck all Jac: I hate how stupid all of it seems now Jac: redundant Jac: but that's close to a fair punishment, I suppose Amelia: you've already been punished Amelia: and sorry always means something when it's a real one Jac: I feel Jac: I don't Jac: I'm broken Jac: I don't even want to be a person now Amelia: I don't want to find that relatable Amelia: but it is Jac: fuck's sake Jac: see, why would I choose this? Jac: even if they're weird, this never happens to straight people Amelia: of course it does Amelia: Savannah's parents are fucked Jac: just because they don't love each other no more Jac: when they got together, I'm sure they both knew Amelia: still, her mum's so broken she's barely a person Jac: all I'm saying is we're getting dangerously close to comparing being gay to a mental illness Jac: which is what homophobes say and I'm not trying to be the confirmation Amelia: it's not being gay, it's loving the wrong person Amelia: there are happy gays, I've met some Amelia: and your brother isn't being held back by it Jac: don't get me started Amelia: Jude's love life is messier than his Amelia: more dramatic Jac: he'll end up with a girl Amelia: you don't know that Jac: wait and see Amelia: yeah, I'll stalk him from afar like a fangirl Amelia: 🤢 Jac: it's not the same either Amelia: you love a competition Jac: yeah, this is so much fun Jac: him and Jude are the same Jac: it doesn't mean anything to them, so they aren't getting hurt Jac: they don't care, it's not serious Amelia: you've got me, we're very much the same Amelia: in this anyway Jac: I don't want to love anyone ever again Amelia: then don't Jac: that's why I have no friends Amelia: yeah well you don't need them, that's the line and the lie, right? Jac: it's not funny Jac: I can't be trusted Jac: with any kind of relationship with a girl Amelia: I'm not laughing because me either Amelia: I make bad choices and I'm proven stupid, remember Jac: it's so fucking isolating Amelia: school is anyway Amelia: we're all in boxes Jac: you never used to hate it this much Amelia: now you understand how much I hate everything Amelia: how exhausted I am Amelia: it'd be nice to have the solidarity if it wasn't so horrible Jac: I'm just trying to get used to it Jac: accept it Amelia: at least you don't have to see her every day Amelia: maybe that'll make it different Jac: I never get to see her again Amelia: you don't know that either Jac: I do Jac: she's unlikely to stop by when she's seeing her mum Amelia: you verbally recoiled from me, ruined my birthday, nobody would call it likely that we're talking Jac: naive optimism is exactly what got you here Jac: don't even need to scroll for the reminder Amelia: ouch Amelia: you always find new ways to hurt me Jac: you really did just say you made bad choices and were stupid Jac: continuing this conversation is just another one for the list, probably Amelia: I can say it and do so you don't need to Jac: alright, alright Amelia: you're blocked though, this is the only place you could try to Jac: I could make another post but the point has been made well enough I reckon Amelia: it's not my birthday now so there's no point Amelia: ⛅ Jac: sod you then Jac: don't want you getting the wrong impression Amelia: 😂 bit late for that Jac: yeah Amelia: my dad'll be up soon I'll just wait ☕ Amelia: don't need you to entertain me any further Jac: you gonna tell him about your shit birthday Amelia: I'll tell them both we broke up and they'll be thrilled Amelia: it's all they want to hear Jac: you can tell them it was my fault, it doesn't matter to me Amelia: why would I do that? Jac: dunno, but having someone else's parents take over and shout at me for a bit might be mildly entertaining Amelia: they think I'm over you, they want me to be better Amelia: I'm not going to ruin the lie Jac: rude Jac: but fine Jac: guess you don't owe me Amelia: no, I don't Jac: enjoy your coffee then Amelia: it'll taste disgusting like it always does Amelia: the biggest lie of all Jac: you aren't as exhausted and sad as you say you are Jac: the taste would've been acquired by now, you massive child Amelia: I've had to hide it longer than you Amelia: I'm just more skilled and hilarious Jac: so you're better at being sad? Jac: and I love a competition 🙄 Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I've acquired a taste for anything with a high enough alcohol content, there you go Jac: I was drunk before I got there and that was still apparent Amelia: haven't needed stitches yet Jac: that's something Jac: anyway, how'd you figure you've had to hide it longer? Amelia: because I have Amelia: you were sitting pretty on a ☁ with Savannah for ages Amelia: nothing could touch you up there Jac: that's where you're wrong Amelia: I'm not letting you win again Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like I was fucking boys because I thought I wanted to Amelia: okay 🏆 no need to make me cry thinking about that Jac: they aren't that bad Jac: well, usually Jac: just not as interesting, it didn't make sense Jac: why we would waste time we could be together instead Amelia: it's really sad Amelia: as 💔 it was seeing you with lads, I thought it was at least what you wanted Jac: they aren't the ones that made me 💔 Amelia: I know but Amelia: I can't imagine doing that, or how it would make me feel if I thought I had to Jac: well you're much softer than I am Amelia: excuse me, it took you years to break me, Savannah did the same to you in 1 Amelia: you're not that hard Jac: I think that says more about Savannah than it does you Jac: but alright Amelia: right, because she's so perfect Amelia: I actually can't compete Jac: shut up Amelia: it's true Jac: it isn't that simple, I keep saying Amelia: it's as simple as you've already said, she's straight and I'm not Amelia: it was safer for you, except it wasn't Jac: you make it sound Jac: ugh Amelia: isn't it? Jac: you think I'm a right cold, calculating bitch Jac: and I'm not saying you're wrong but it was nice when you thought otherwise Amelia: we can't go back, you really drilled that into me Jac: I know Jac: oh well Amelia: oh well? that's the best you can do, yeah? Amelia: doesn't sound very calculating and well planned out Jac: because it's all over Jac: the only thing I've got left is uni and the career I want Jac: nothing else can or is going to exist Amelia: that's more than I've got Amelia: I haven't exactly been concentrating on my app Jac: well you're going to run away and find your Thelma aren't you Amelia: you ruined that fantasy with reality Jac: yeah right Jac: you're still a hopeless romantic Amelia: with a 🚗 I can't drive yet Jac: have you had any lessons yet Amelia: no Amelia: I keep asking my dad but he's always too busy Jac: go ask him now Amelia: I've drank too much to go now Jac: well duh but he'll feel so bad for you he'll make time tomorrow or whatever Amelia: and we're back to calculating Jac: someone has to if you wanna be wild and free Amelia: 😂 Jac: how early is it Jac: will the library be open Amelia: it's weird that the library is still open at any hour Amelia: you're literally the only person who ever goes there Jac: excuse me, only child Jac: you try and study with a house full of annoying kids and dogs Amelia: I'm fine with a 🏠 swap, I don't feel like studying Jac: yeah only if you make it permanent Amelia: you wouldn't take my guest room for a night, I don't think I'd be able to make that happen Jac: because you were there Amelia: rude Jac: sensible Amelia: nothing's going to happen Jac: yeah exactly Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: it means we aren't going to be friends Amelia: why not? Jac: I told you why Amelia: I'm not asking you to care about me, I'm saying I'm here for you Jac: No Jac: I wasn't joking when I said I can't have friends Amelia: I know you weren't Jac: that includes you Jac: especially you Amelia: okay Jac: okay Amelia: good morning then Jac: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: you're okay now, right? Amelia: me too Jac: Are you? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe Jac: How's the party? Amelia: it needs you Jac: Looks like you found enough people to party with though Amelia: I don't do dark corners by myself, you know Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't anyway, what Is said came true Amelia: all the lads are 😍 Jac: you didn't wear your theatre dress Amelia: no Amelia: it's going back, I kept the tags on Jac: smart Jac: what did you think, of the performance Amelia: it wasn't that bad Jac: and your mum Amelia: she's never that bad Jac: I know Jac: I meant did she like it Amelia: 😂 oh Amelia: yeah Jac: who brought all the booze? Jac: must be loads, can't just be Erin Amelia: her boyfriend I think Amelia: or maybe her brother Amelia: I don't remember Jac: they don't look that different tbh Jac: even if you weren't in a state Amelia: I've just got my 🤞 they are related after how hard he was 🤤 at me Jac: what about Is and Josh? Amelia: 😣 they're all over each other Jac: Hm Jac: dunno what way is better Jac: the play-by-play we'll get, or the lament if she hadn't Amelia: 💔 over 🥰 Amelia: I have every possible boys suck line ready in my back pocket Jac: shouldn't we be happy for each other Amelia: for what? Jac: for her getting what she wanted Jac: if nothing else, it's that Amelia: he only wants her because she dressed and acted different so no Jac: maybe she wants to be different too Amelia: you would say that Jac: why would I Amelia: because you want to be Savannah Moore Amelia: it doesn't get any differerent-er Jac: One, no I don't Jac: and two, we've got lots in common so it wouldn't be that big of a change beyond the obvious Amelia: yeah you do and yeah it would Jac: just because I like her doesn't mean I'm trying to be her Jac: why do you think that Amelia: you talk like her now Amelia: act like her Amelia: dress like her Jac: no I don't Jac: this is how I've always been Jac: and I don't have nearly enough money to dress like her Amelia: I don't need to tell you that designer dupes exist Amelia: your search history already has Jac: 🙄 so I wanna wear nice clothes Jac: that's not new Amelia: but your definition of nice has Jac: so you're saying I looked like crap then or now? Amelia: I'd never say that Jac: I can change my taste Jac: you don't have to as well, I'm not making you, so why are you being so Jac: weird about it Amelia: I don't want to fight about it anymore Amelia: come to the party, you can wear what you want Jac: I can't come to the party now Jac: it'll be practically over Amelia: then we'll do something else Amelia: you can't send me 🏠 with Is Jac: you asked to sleep over Amelia: yeah but I can't fucking bear it Amelia: any of this Jac: that's why I didn't want to go Amelia: and I shouldn't be here Jac: do you really want to leave Amelia: I didn't want to go Jac: I don't even think I've talked to Erin before Amelia: you haven't Jac: why does everyone have to go to everything now Jac: the more people you know the better Amelia: that's not very Savannah-ish of you Jac: She doesn't actually have many friends either Jac: any Jac: real ones Amelia: she does now Amelia: you're her best friend Jac: she wants to be your friend too Amelia: 😂 Jac: she does Amelia: didn't you read how she talks to me? she thinks I'm more tragic than Is Amelia: that there's something wrong with me Jac: I read how you talk to her too Jac: you weren't treating her like she was any more intelligent than Is either Amelia: you just want it to be my fault Jac: no I don't Jac: I want us to all get along Amelia: you pretty much threw me out the chat earlier Jac: for your sake Jac: I knew you were angry and you were going to say something you'd regret Amelia: if we're all such great friends I should be able to say whatever I like Jac: you can Jac: but you shouldn't say things you can't take back Jac: just for the effect of the thing Jac: if you want to still say it in the morning Jac: I won't stop you Amelia: I can't take it back anyway Amelia: whether I say it or not Jac: if no one knows Jac: then you don't have to deal with it Amelia: I still have to deal Jac: but not with everyone else's opinion Jac: it's better Amelia: I don't care what anyone thinks, you never used to either Jac: that's not true Jac: for me Amelia: okay Jac: you know that Jac: and you must care too Jac: or we wouldn't be here Amelia: you know why we're here Amelia: and if you don't also know that tonight I don't care about literally anything then you must've blocked me on socials Jac: I haven't Jac: I bet it tastes as gross as it smells Amelia: after the first few it doesn't matter Jac: more like you've numbed your entire being with whatever drink so you can't taste or feel anything Amelia: if I didn't feel anything, I wouldn't have asked if you were okay now Jac: I meant more physically Jac: you're so dramatic sometimes, you know Amelia: you're so cruel sometimes Jac: yeah Jac: probably Jac: but that was a joke Amelia: 😂 Amelia: like this party Jac: they're always crap Amelia: no they're not Amelia: I have loads of fond memories Jac: you aren't always this wasted Amelia: I've never been this wasted Amelia: you're correct, but you're wrong about the physical numbing thing, if another lad tries to touch me I will be very dramatic Jac: Meels Jac: tell me you feel uncomfortable, unsafe Jac: then I can get one my parents to come get you Jac: because it's your mum's birthday, so your parents can't Amelia: what about Savannah? Jac: Sienna was here too Jac: so they couldn't stay over Jac: I only have a single bed, remember Jac: two is okay, three is just silly Amelia: your parents will be annoyed, mine too Jac: yours will just be worried Jac: better than being somewhere you don't want to be Amelia: I can't do that, ruin how good her birthday was Jac: then don't tell them Jac: not as if my parents will, unless you're sobbing or something Amelia: boys don't make me cry Jac: it's Connell Jac: Ty's friend Jac: and I don't like him that much, alright Amelia: but why do you like him? Amelia: why now? Jac: why does anyone like anyone Amelia: because they're clever and fun and even if they tell awful jokes they're still funny to you and you just want to look at them constantly, sometimes when they're asleep and you feel weird about it but you do it anyway Amelia: and touching them doesn't make you feel 🤮 but not touching them does Jac: that's different Jac: that's Jac: more Amelia: you don't want to settle for less Amelia: Savannah wants you to Amelia: I don't know why her boyfriend's friends can't find their own girlfriends Jac: It's not like I'm being pimped out Amelia: she even wants me to date one of them and she hates me Amelia: bit weird Jac: she thinks its a nice thing to offer Jac: she doesn't hate you Amelia: okay, I hate her Amelia: same difference Jac: that's literally the opposite Jac: why do you hate her Amelia: because crap parties like this are the only time I get to see you now, when she remembers she has a boyfriend Amelia: or needs to remind her followers Amelia: same difference Jac: you see me at school when you're not in detention Amelia: no I don't, she's in every class with you Amelia: I see you both Jac: Neither of us can help that though Jac: it's not as if it was planned Amelia: you don't want to help it though Amelia: you don't even miss me Jac: stop it Jac: we still see each other Amelia: it's not the same and you don't want it to be any more Jac: it's just transition year Jac: it literally isn't the same, everything is weird Amelia: I can't do this Jac: we aren't doing anything Jac: nothing has to change Amelia: it already has and all you're doing about it is fobbing me off like I'm Isabelle Jac: What do you want me to do, that's me actually asking Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend is back in my face, I have to go Jac: go to the most crowded area of the party and wait Jac: alright, I'll wake them up Jac: don't go outside or anywhere alone, even though that's what you want to do, it's just not a good idea Amelia: I can handle it Amelia: am handling it Jac: Okay, good Jac: but you're still getting picked up Amelia: no, I can't, I told you Jac: why not, your parents think you're going to Isabelle's anyway, they won't know any different Amelia: oh yeah, I forgot about Is Amelia: I'll just wait for her Jac: When did you last see her? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: I've been trying not to see them all night Jac: I'm gonna message her Jac: call her if I have to Amelia: I'm not going with you Amelia: like everything's normal when nothing is Amelia: you're only worried what I'll let slip to her Amelia: but you don't have to be, she's drunk too Jac: That's not true Jac: I'm worried about you Jac: you don't have to go with me, but she's had enough fun and you need to go Amelia: Tom's SO tall, remember, I'll find her Jac: will you tell me the truth Jac: whether you do or don't Amelia: why wouldn't I? Jac: so I don't call Is if you don't want to go looking for her Jac: I'm going to check, you know Amelia: stop making me want to forgive you Amelia: you're the cutest when you're like this, you know Jac: I'm not doing it to be cute, or for forgiveness Jac: you're still my friend Amelia: it's like vertigo, I'm used to that Amelia: I haven't had it for ages though Jac: Sit on the stairs and you're bound to catch her coming up or down Amelia: Tom won't see me from all the way up there Amelia: maybe he'll trip over me and fall to his death Jac: You aren't angry at Tom Jac: just people with penises Amelia: I'm not angry Jac: What are you? Amelia: 💔 Jac: Yeah Jac: me too Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: you don't need to say that Amelia: maybe not Amelia: but if you need to hear it, I want to Jac: I'm sorry Jac: does it feel any better? Amelia: yeah, a little bit Jac: you must be easier to please than me Amelia: 😏 Jac: shut up, you're as bad as Is Jac: I dread to think though Amelia: that boy is disgusting and she's going to be talking about nothing else until the next Jac: he has bad dandruff Jac: she hasn't noticed because his height disorientates her but I sat behind him in Irish Jac: it was very distracting Jac: and I couldn't see the board Amelia: 😣 Dia ár sábháil Amelia: I must be drunk if I can remember that Amelia: where's sir when you want him Jac: yeah, I hear that's what the garda do when they pull you over Jac: very impressive Amelia: good idea, they'll give me a lift home Jac: Ha, no Amelia: I'm walking that way because I just remembered I'd have to share a bed with Is Amelia: after that revelation about Tom's hygiene Jac: Can you please stop Amelia: no, then I'd just be standing in the road Jac: Why can't you just do what you're told and wait Amelia: 😂 hello, it's me, Amelia Jac: I mean it though Jac: you're scaring me Jac: what if Erin's brother or boyfriend followed you Jac: or you fall over into the river or a ditch Amelia: I made it clear that I wasn't interested, he's too 😳 to follow me Amelia: and I'm going home, not sightseeing Jac: I don't want you to get hurt Amelia: so don't hurt me Jac: don't do reckless shit because you're 💔 Amelia: I won't if you don't Jac: when do I ever do anything reckless? Amelia: when do you ever like boys from the basketball team? Jac: that's not reckless Jac: boys are easy Amelia: you could still get hurt Jac: Boys don't make me cry either Amelia: you make yourself cry Amelia: SUCH a virgo Jac: shut up, scorpio is a water sign Jac: you only get your sting out if provoked Amelia: yeah, I know, I'm really in touch with myself and who I am, thanks Amelia: too self aware if anything Jac: see, touchy Jac: not coming for your astrology knowledge Amelia: it's not in depth anyway Amelia: I'm sure Savannah knows way more about it Jac: She's a taurus, if you wanna say something about that Amelia: I already knew that Jac: oh, it's probably in her bio Amelia: probably Jac: unless you've made her birth chart Amelia: I don't take after my mum hard enough to know the exact time Savannah Moore was born Jac: 👩🏻👧🏻 Amelia: I do want my mum though Amelia: she'd know what to do Jac: Get a taxi Jac: go home Jac: she's not going to be mad Amelia: yeah she will Jac: only a little Jac: she'd be madder to know you're literally walking the streets right now Amelia: from Erin's not Land's end Amelia: you're more dramatic than me Jac: how would you walk from Land's end Jac: you're terrible at Geography Amelia: is now the time for a lesson? 🤓 Jac: it would be if you listened to a word I said Jac: 😎 Amelia: I would've if you'd said this hours ago Amelia: shots ago Jac: how was I to know you weren't having the best time ever Amelia: how would I have the best time ever without you? Jac: Who was that girl you were smoking with? Jac: was too blurry for me to tell Amelia: 🤔 Jac: You can tell me Amelia: I don't think she told me her name Amelia: it was very mysterious Jac: right Amelia: very 😎 you could say Jac: you could Jac: but if it was a lad that tried it you'd call it a line Amelia: if it was a lad I'd have knocked them off the top step Jac: exactly Amelia: but it wasn't a lad or a line Jac: yeah Amelia: and it won't be happening again anyway Jac: the smoking or the mystery girl? Amelia: either/both Jac: don't make promises you can't keep Amelia: it's an easy one to keep Jac: there's gonna be more parties Jac: more fond memories to make Amelia: 🚭🚷 Jac: you don't write captions Jac: didn't technically break your rule Amelia: I said I would for you Jac: I know you did Jac: but it's about more than me Amelia: yeah Jac: you know it's okay, don't you Amelia: it doesn't feel okay so no Jac: does the alternative feel any better Amelia: you're trying to confuse me now Jac: no I'm not Jac: do you wanna go out with one of Ty's mates Amelia: of course I fucking don't Jac: then there you go Jac: the alternative has to be okay Amelia: no it doesn't Amelia: because it's not an alternative Amelia: like red wine or white Jac: okay, then you don't have any choice in it Jac: more reason it has to be okay Jac: and that isn't a competition, by the way Amelia: you love a competition Jac: Red Jac: a good rose Jac: white, never ever, unless you really have to Amelia: all wine is disgusting, stop lying to yourself Jac: you didn't care about disgusting when you were necking shots Jac: or smoking Amelia: I'm not pretending I liked it Jac: I'm not either Jac: I've acquired the taste Amelia: this isn't when you're the cutest Jac: 🙄 Jac: you can't just eat sweets and crisps, forever Jac: someone has to force you to enjoy broccoli Jac: it's the same thing Amelia: she's not that kind of mum Amelia: so actually, I can do what I want Jac: you'll get fat and spotty Jac: and get type-2 diabetes Amelia: Savannah will be thrilled Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend will get over it Jac: what about you Jac: how will you feel Amelia: 💔 probably but I do already Jac: you'll feel sick, more likely Jac: everything is a habit, you just have to form the right ones Amelia: I feel sick already too Amelia: the vertigo-ish thing Jac: I did tell you to sit down Jac: are you wearing heels? Amelia: boots though Amelia: it's a fat heel Jac: you need to be as close to the ground as you can Jac: don't crawl though Jac: you will get picked up then Amelia: the very drunk 🐛 Jac: in that dress it's practically an invitation Jac: for a passing stray, or creepy dude Jac: just watch out for glass, and dog shit Amelia: you don't like my dress!? Jac: I like it Jac: I'm saying your arse would fully be out if you even bent over a bit Amelia: I'm not bending anywhere Amelia: 🤢🤮 Jac: just focus please Amelia: 👀 🔎🔭🔬 Jac: how far are you from yours? Amelia: you're trying to throw me out of this chat too, are you? Jac: I'm trying to see how much longer I need to worry about you, idiot Amelia: no longer, because I'm alright Jac: no you aren't Jac: you feel sick and heartbroken Jac: and you're walking home alone, trashed Amelia: you weren't worried earlier Jac: when? Amelia: when you told me to shut up and meet my mum Jac: I already told you why Jac: you were gonna say something Jac: and you did need to go to the ballet, that's nothing for me to be concerned about Amelia: I was 💔 then, you can't just care when you want Jac: I do care Jac: and did Jac: I can't fix it Amelia: I know x3 Jac: stop saying I don't care Amelia: okay Jac: and tell me where you are Amelia: that's geography Jac: if you're in Land's end, you've really fucked this up Amelia: 😂 Amelia: I'm over halfway but to my 🏠 Jac: Good Jac: you've eat into my beauty sleep enough Jac: keep up the pace Amelia: for you it's just called 😴 Jac: now was that 🤓 or 😎 Amelia: it was 🥰 Jac: I won't push you off the stairs in your current state Jac: not a fair fight Amelia: I fell up the curb before Amelia: maybe you're right about the numbing Jac: have you hurt yourself Jac: you need to clean it when you get in, properly Jac: you don't need stitches, do you Amelia: I haven't bled to death so no Jac: Okay, good Jac: you live nowhere near a hospital and they're the worst at this time Amelia: my parents would rage if they had to take me to A&E Jac: that's why you should take the first aid course with me Jac: and for your uni app Amelia: is Savannah taking it with us? Jac: You're suggesting I tell her she can't Amelia: I'm saying I can't if she is Amelia: I will throw that dummy at her before I ever 💋 it in front of her Jac: You said you wanted to spend time with me Jac: she's part of the deal Amelia: but I don't want my first 💋 experience to be a first aid plastic person Jac: Her name's Annie Amelia: okay, it's a date now, yeah? Amelia: all I need's a name and I'm 😍🥰😘 Jac: you didn't get one earlier Amelia: I didn't kiss her earlier Jac: they're more rubbery too Jac: not like a sex-doll but you know Jac: give her some respect Amelia: you're so annoying Jac: rude Jac: and hypocritical, you woke me up for this Amelia: did I? Jac: It doesn't matter now, won't be able to sleep 'til you're home Amelia: why isn't your phone on silent? Jac: It is but I still hear it vibrate Jac: it could be important Jac: case in point Amelia: or you were hoping it was someone else Jac: Connell probably got with someone else at the party Jac: life goes on Amelia: which one is he? Jac: the only one that looks like he might have a few brain cells on the team Amelia: 📙👆🏀 Amelia: can he do that twirly thing? Jac: with a book balanced on his head Jac: if he can I'll go out with him Amelia: 😕 Jac: don't make that face at me Amelia: 🙁 Jac: wrong direction Amelia: you can't practice on me for how to tell boys what to do with their face Jac: boys are always 😍🥰😘 Jac: they do the hard work for you Amelia: they are hard work Jac: to like Jac: just pretend Amelia: why? Jac: it makes life easier Jac: actually, you don't even have to like them Jac: when Is isn't talking about how tall they are, she's talking about how crap they are, like you said Jac: no one will notice the difference Amelia: it didn't make my life easier tonight that they didn't notice I wasn't doing anything for their benefit Amelia: literally the opposite Jac: you can't opt out of being a girl Jac: unless you literally do, and I don't think that's a walk in the park so Amelia: I don't want to, but I'm not a girl for them Jac: I know that Jac: they're oblivious Amelia: I know that Jac: you can use it or be annoyed by it Jac: that's all Amelia: you're tired, you're being cynical Jac: hi, I'm Jac Jac: I'm always cynical, and I'm right Amelia: no you're not, and I don't want to use lads for anything, thanks Jac: then don't Jac: say you did, imply it Amelia: why? Jac: so Sav stops trying to set you up with a basketball boy and Is stops telling you how amazing/terrible it all is depending on her mood Amelia: I'll tell Sav to stop and Is never will whatever else happens Jac: what do you want Amelia: 🏠🛏💤 Jac: keep walking Jac: you can be asleep before me I bet Amelia: I don't want that though Jac: you just said you did, silly Amelia: not you lying awake because of me Jac: There's lots on my mind Jac: virgo, right Amelia: if you want to talk about it, I'm drunker than I've ever been Amelia: probably a good time Jac: I don't think I do Amelia: sounds virgo-ish Jac: you don't like talking either Jac: it works Amelia: not to anyone else Amelia: but this is you Jac: do you want to say it Jac: or do you wanna wait 'til you aren't drunk or sad or anything else but sure Amelia: I don't know Jac: then I'd wait Amelia: I just want you to come back Amelia: how long do I have to wait for that? Jac: I don't know Jac: what you mean Amelia: you do Jac: I think this is who I am now Jac: who I need to be Amelia: which one? Who you are or who you need to be? Jac: that's the same person Amelia: not necessarily Jac: it should be Amelia: should Amelia: I shouldn't hate Savannah, but I do, I should be a better friend to Is but I'm not Amelia: I shouldn't scare you or wake you up in the middle of the night Amelia: but that's happened Jac: You needed help Jac: that's okay Jac: I don't know about the rest Amelia: No, I just needed to talk to you Amelia: and I don't think that's okay now Jac: why not? Amelia: I can't remember but there were loads of reasons Jac: if that's what you want Amelia: it's not Jac: then don't stop talking to me Amelia: I'll scroll up to where you said you don't want to talk Amelia: it wasn't ages ago Jac: just about what's going on in my head Jac: anything else is fine Amelia: okay Jac: you don't have to think of something right now Jac: you aren't being timed Amelia: you can get my uni app off your mind, that's years away Jac: three years Jac: school years, at that Amelia: I might take a gap year, that's even longer Jac: really Jac: where are you going to go? Amelia: it's years away Amelia: I haven't planned it yet Jac: well then you can't say you're having one yet either Amelia: I didn't, I said I might Amelia: like I might not go to uni at all too Jac: you might die in a ditch Jac: you can still plan for not Amelia: not if I die in a ditch in three years Amelia: or four Jac: don't you care Jac: what you're going to do Amelia: I care about this year and about now Jac: I need to check your rising sign Amelia: maybe it'll put you to sleep Jac: now who's trying to get rid of who Amelia: I care about that Amelia: you being okay Jac: You can't fix it either Amelia: not without knowing what's wrong Jac: exactly Amelia: I can use 🥺 too, Sav doesn't own it Jac: is that gonna help us work it all out? Jac: fell free to go ahead, like Amelia: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Amelia: talk to me Jac: I literally am Amelia: about what's going on in your head Jac: I don't know Jac: or get it either Amelia: I didn't say you have to make sense of it Jac: I can't, Meels Amelia: I've never had to beg you before and I don't know how to Jac: don't Amelia: not being able to fix this is scarier than being out here Jac: I know Jac: if it could be different Amelia: or the same as it used to be Jac: or the same as it used to be Jac: it can't though Amelia: I'm home Jac: Picture please Amelia: [imagine that blurry picture please, the state of this gal rn] Jac: it's like an impressionistic painting of your house Jac: but I'll take it as evidence Amelia: and I'll use it as art homework Jac: remember the portrait you did of me Amelia: I still have it Amelia: wait, I'm gonna find it Jac: I bet you've already woken your parents up Jac: any more noise and they definitely won't leave it 'til morning Amelia: if they were asleep but don't think about that Amelia: where would it be? 🤔 Jac: I keep telling you you need proper portfolios for your work Amelia: maybe Savannah will buy them for me Amelia: she's like SO generous Jac: it's not a money thing, you're just messy Jac: so sh Amelia: and I don't have a job Amelia: you shh, I'm searching Jac: your parents would get them for you Amelia: god, I was crap at painting a year ago Amelia: your portrait is going to look nothing like you, I'll probably find it and not realise Jac: well I still liked it Jac: and your teacher did Jac: though maybe she was just thrilled you handed anything in Amelia: 😂 yeah Amelia: OH MY GOD! here it is Jac: show me then! Amelia: 😳 Jac: come on Jac: or I'll 🥺 Amelia: [does show her and of course it's super gay and feelsy because we were on our bullshit even back then gals] Jac: [it's a shame the fan art would be of her as Lexa like always] Jac: see, I remembered it being good Jac: you should believe in yourself more Amelia: I believe I could do better now Amelia: if everything would stop violently tilting Jac: you need to close your eyes, or at least be in a dark room right now Jac: not trying to make art Amelia: if my parents really loved me they'd have installed a light switch that I don't have to get up for Jac: did I mention lazy as well as messy Jac: and you need to get some water Amelia: 😵 Jac: you know I'm not sympathetic Amelia: but you don't want me to puke just because you're mad at me Jac: I'm not mad at you Amelia: my mum will be if I ruin this rug Jac: you shouldn't have got so pissed Amelia: how else am I meant to deal with my emotions? in a healthy way? No Jac: I can't lecture you Jac: not now anyway, maybe later Amelia: you are though, a little bit Jac: if you reckon that then your parents really aren't strict enough Amelia: they're really not, miracle baby privileges are lifelong in this 🏠 Jac: you're gonna turn out so ill-adjusted Jac: good thing they won't care though Amelia: I probably already am Jac: probably Amelia: but at least I don't need stitches Jac: 🌤 Amelia: remember when I did Amelia: terrifying Jac: safe to say it dashed any dreams of wanting to be a surgeon Amelia: I thought the scar was going to be so ugly but you wouldn't let me get another fringe Jac: the only other person with a forehead scar is harry potter and it's a favourable comparison Jac: there's lots of bitches with fringes Amelia: my parents definitely don't love me enough if it's not a ⚡️ Jac: that sounds like they were practising ritual scarification Amelia: but you do, you said I could never be ugly Jac: because you couldn't Amelia: did I cry? I feel like I should be crying now Jac: a bit Jac: but I didn't tell and your mum just thought you were in loads of pain so you got ice cream Amelia: it bled more than it hurt Jac: headwounds do Jac: and you've got a massive head Amelia: tomorrow I will Amelia: it'll feel HUGE Jac: be thankful Is can only message you Jac: not talk you into another headache Amelia: she has been Jac: yeah? Amelia: I don't know what to say Jac: is she going into too much detail Amelia: always Jac: just tell her she's making you 🤮 Amelia: is this who I am now? Jac: a person with normal boundaries? Amelia: someone on the other fucking side Jac: of what Jac: what are you on about Amelia: everything Amelia: left out of it Jac: you don't want to be like Is Amelia: she's not 💔 Jac: that's just who she is Jac: she's not got anything in her life that makes her Amelia: neither have I Jac: you clearly do Jac: or a lack of something, either way Amelia: or I'm dramatic, like you said Jac: is that how it feels? Amelia: yeah Jac: okay, you're just dramatic then Jac: go get some sleep Amelia: or everyone's gaslighting me Jac: sounds a bit like a conspiracy theory Amelia: lack of trust is very scorpio-ish of me Jac: true Jac: you're just being true to type Amelia: I'm going slowly insane, true to my artistic type Jac: you can have your 💙 period Amelia: shame I didn't go blue outside Jac: or not Jac: I'm glad you're back Amelia: so you can go and get some sleep Jac: why do you want to make me out as so selfish Amelia: because that would make sense Amelia: and it wouldn't be my fault Jac: nothing is your fault Jac: regret is just a requirement of a hangover, with the shame Amelia: we can't go back because you want Savannah as a friend more than me Amelia: if that's not my fault or you being selfish and shallow I don't know how to make sense of it Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: but if you need it to be one of those two Jac: go with the latter Amelia: in 3rd class after Ms Brennan paired me with Georgia for the school trip and she got it into her head we were going to be best friends, you were upset and I told her to leave me alone Amelia: I didn't say to you that if you wanted to hang out with me then she was part of the deal Jac: Georgia was lame Amelia: and you think Savannah is the coolest, I know Jac: we aren't in third class Amelia: exactly, we've been friends longer than that now and you won't do that for me Jac: you can't expect me to do that Jac: we should have more friends Jac: go see if Georgia still wants to be your bestie Amelia: she won't if I message her now,  unless she was at the party too Amelia: maybe she'd still be up Jac: don't be stupid Jac: obviously wait 'til you're sober Jac: she'd think you were trying to booty call her Amelia: I've got loads of them Jac: Lucky you, right Amelia: not really Jac: Connell hasn't messaged me yet Amelia: he's probably waiting until he's sober Amelia: so you don't think he's stupid Jac: I doubt he's put that much thought into it Amelia: don't you care? Jac: should I? Amelia: you like him Amelia: being thought about is like the bare minimum Jac: he wants me, that's all I need Amelia: loads of people want you and you didn't need any of them Jac: we're older now Amelia: yeah Amelia: we are Jac: if I don't want a boyfriend, there's the alternative Amelia: okay Jac: like you said, they think you're weird Amelia: you care about all the wrong things Jac: says you Amelia: I also said I don't want to fight anymore Jac: There's nothing to fight about Jac: get some sleep Amelia: just everything to fight for Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm going, I'm going Jac: that's not what I meant Amelia: do you want to say what you mean? Jac: don't be mad at me, okay Amelia: I can't be mad at you Jac: Sorry Amelia: you're sorrier than you've ever been and I'm drunker Amelia: we really are older now Jac: ain't it fun Amelia: you'll have fun again tomorrow Amelia: or the next day Jac: that's a promise or a threat Amelia: Savannah won't let you be sad or any longer than it takes her to apply a facial Amelia: for* Jac: don't I deserve to be happy Amelia: of course you do Jac: then what's the problem? Amelia: Sorry Jac: yeah Jac: I know Jac: forget it, let's just Jac: tomorrow's a new day Amelia: I don't think facials cure hangovers Jac: it's all about hydration actually Jac: so it wouldn't hurt Amelia: it would if she applied it Amelia: whispering is a foreign language Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 🥱 Jac: go then Amelia: if that's what you want Jac: you're tired, don't be annoying Amelia: I'm tired of you defending her constantly Jac: I can't help that there's nothing wrong with her Amelia: she's annoying, don't call me annoying Jac: don't act like I'm making you go to sleep, or that you can't if I don't say so Amelia: I swear to god, it's like we're in a parallel fucking universe and I'm the only one who realises Jac: I like Savannah Amelia: Why? She's the same person you used to not like Jac: No, we didn't know her then Amelia: you sound like her, acting like her boyfriend magically appeared last year when she thinks he got hot Jac: Do you reckon randoms like Georgia know you as well as I do? Amelia: it doesn't mean she can't have an opinion Jac: no, but it means it's not as informed Amelia: she'll change her mind once we're best friends Amelia: I haven't changed mine about Savannah Jac: well I have Amelia: why don't you trust me? Jac: It's not about trusting you Jac: I've got my opinion, you've got yours Amelia: 😕 Jac: it doesn't have to be Amelia: what do you want me to do, spend even MORE time with her? Jac: I don't need you to like her Amelia: what then? Jac: Accept that I do, that's it Amelia: just don't like her more than me Jac: we aren't little kids any more Jac: you'll always be my first best friend, nothing can change that Amelia: I wish we were Jac: I know Jac: we can't go back though Jac: no matter how hard we wish it Amelia: I'm not stupid, I know it wasn't perfect Amelia: but I can't keep feeling like this going forward Jac: no, you can't Jac: what are you going to do? Amelia: I don't know Jac: one for the morning Amelia: one for my mum Jac: probably Amelia: if she can't help me I'll fully lean into the insane artist thing Jac: you're going to be okay, Meels Jac: I know you will Amelia: please go back to being cynical or I'm going to cry Jac: I'll do my best Amelia: thanks Jac: just keep away from 💛 paint okay Amelia: if I use it all to paint my room I'll be safe Amelia: and obviously cheered up Jac: have you made that much of a mess Jac: 🤢 🤮 Amelia: RIP to this rug, the only thing in here my mum liked Jac: oh god Amelia: Savannah will love me for giving her the chance to go 🛍 Amelia: we can all go Jac: that's true Amelia: Is will probably have 🤮 too Amelia: maybe right now, she's gone very quiet Jac: I should probably message her Amelia: tomorrow, you're 😴 as far as she knows Jac: a good out Jac: she's fine, right Amelia: she's 😍🥰😘 Amelia: that's fine for her Jac: Does she like Savannah Amelia: you read how excited she was about matching manicures Jac: right Jac: she doesn't fake stuff Amelia: so she must like her Jac: I don't know why she likes me Amelia: Is likes anyone who doesn't take a boy from her Jac: Yeah Jac: it's hard to feel sorry for her Amelia: anyway, you're a really easy person to like Jac: we aren't good friends to her Amelia: she's not perfect herself Jac: she's just oblivious though Amelia: I'll do better by her Jac: I don't know if I will Amelia: why not? Jac: I don't think I can be bothered Amelia: 😂 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not funny though, really Amelia: a little bit Jac: you think I'm a bad person? Amelia: no Jac: okay Amelia: if I have to accept that we're not kids and everything's different, she can too Jac: we'll all have to Amelia: she'll probably get a proper boyfriend like Savannah soon anyway Amelia: then it'll be her who can't be bothered with us Jac: you're right Jac: hope it's not Tom Jac: or Josh??? Amelia: she can have one of the many lads in my inbox Jac: how generous of you Amelia: no ulterior motives Jac: just to palm them off Amelia: she'll enjoy it Jac: too much Amelia: I'll listen to her talk about it over doing it Jac: mhmm Jac: I have to go now Amelia: oh Amelia: okay Jac: I've got so much homework to do tomorrow Jac: I need at least some sleep to not totally tank it Amelia: at least we could spend time together in detention Jac: That is NOT happening Amelia: I'm joking, go Jac: Night ❤ Amelia: yeah Jac: aren't you going to wish me sweet dreams? Amelia: you're too virgo Amelia: too much on your mind Jac: you could still wish for me Jac: even if it won't happen Amelia: I do Jac: Thanks Jac: can you dream when you're drunk? Amelia: I don't really dream a lot Amelia: maybe I only can when I'm drunk Amelia: what if Jac: that's a terrible excuse for alcoholism Jac: but tell me in the morning Amelia: you'll have to remind me Jac: deal Amelia: goodnight Jac: 👋💤 Amelia: ❤❤❤

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah, Jac, Amelia & Isabelle

Savannah: What are we doing to get party ready? Savannah: because I vote we hit the spa to get our collective ✨ back Savannah: it should be ILLEGAL how my skin looks Jac: No way, I was JUST thinking how good your skin looked like THIS morning Jac: but it's never NOT a good time for the spa too though so 🤭 Savannah: your hype is everything! I don't even deserve how flawless you are in a beyond skin deep way Savannah: but yes to the spa being my go to fave ^^ Amelia: I can't Jac: only giving what you put out, it is beyond deserved ❤❤ Jac: Why not Meelie? Amelia: I'll be at the party but the only way I could be there too is if my mum comes with and NOBODY wants that Jac: Your mum is fun Amelia: not that fun Jac: Doesn't [some boujee place they'd like] have a 10% discount right now, Savvy? Jac: they do THE BEST facials Savannah: 👏🏾 Yes! You have the BEST taste & I think it's actually gone up to 15% 🙌🏾 Isabelle: Awh 😟 it sounds like so much fun but mine won't give me any money and I'm so broke after getting those new trainers Savannah: Don't be silly! It's totally my treat, Is Savannah: your pores shouldn't have to stay clogged for the sake of those trainers Jac: That is so generous of you 🥺🥺 Jac: I NEED a hot oil hair treatment like yesterday, I don't know why it's so dry right now but it's not a mood Savannah: your hair looked beautiful yesterday & if you don't believe me, I literally heard so many girls from the year above talking about it so Jac: 😳😳😳 Jac: well I KNOW Ty heard those 6th years talking about you, he was so jealous, bless him 🥰 Savannah: I was in the bathroom overwhelmed by sadness & I heard your name over & over, it felt seriously fated Savannah: oh my god, he refuses to tell me what they sad, I've given him the full 🥺 & everything Savannah: *said Amelia: maybe you need bigger eyelashes Savannah: Do you think? Jac: Oh my God, where even was I? Boo! 😖 You should have called so I could come find you Jac: no way, you like, INVENTED puppy dog eyes, your natural lashes are so thick and dark Jac: he's just saving your blushes, so cute Savannah: ugh, my phone was like dying because Sienna had all this drama with a girl in her class earlier Savannah: 🥰 you're so cute, I can't even handle all these compliments Jac: Is she okay or do we need to talk to this girl? Jac: her year is vicious, I swear Savannah: she says she's okay but she can't hide how upset she is from me Jac: You're way too empathetic, you know her inside out Jac: Poor Sienna, does she want to come too? Savannah: that's SUCH a great idea, I'll ask her Jac: We could all get matching nails Isabelle: Sorry...mum called Isabelle: won't that be really expensive though? are you super sure Sav? Savannah: of course, Is Savannah: it's not like I need a new outfit for Erin's house party Isabelle: Yay, thank you so much! 😁 So you can come too Meels? Amelia: No Amelia: it wasn't about the money, remember? Isabelle: 😥 you don't want to be left out though Amelia: there's nothing I can do about that Isabelle: oh that's such a shame Isabelle: I'll bring you back some of those mini cakes and sandwiches they do Amelia: thanks Amelia: I'll see you at Erin's Jac: Are you sure there's no way? Amelia: you've really forgotten the 📅 haven't you? Jac: Oh, it's her birthday Jac: right? Amelia: yeah Savannah: we should send her 💐 from all of us Savannah: I love your mum Jac: Are you definitely coming to the party then? Amelia: I'll be there Amelia: Erin throws a good party Jac: 💐 is a great idea, we can go pick them out Jac: what are you doing with her today then? Amelia: 🎭🩰 totally not my thing but my dad won't take her Amelia: she doesn't think I will either, so it'll be stay a huge surprise Jac: That's really nice, she'll love it Jac: I'd love to go sometime Savannah: Ballet lessons were the highlight of my Saturday when I was little, I was obsessed Savannah: mainly for the outfits though 😄 Jac: I can so picture you with your little bun 😊 adorable Savannah: [pics because she's that bitch] Jac: 😭😭😭😭 Jac: how have you always been PERFECT Jac: I was so ugly 😬😂 Amelia: no you weren't Jac: I so was Jac: you and Is were really sweet and I was so 😱😱 Jac: never mind the puppy fat, yikes Amelia: the fringe my mum forced me to have was not sweet 😣 Savannah: I'm with Amelia, you were definitely such an 👼🏻👶🏻 Amelia: she was Amelia: [pics of them all as kids but especially her being bffs with Jac to make that point to Savannah like] Jac: You guys are so sweet Jac: I love you Isabelle: I look exactly the same is that a good or a bad thing Amelia: 😂 Amelia: better than looking like 👧🏻 Amelia: I'm literally an emoji Isabelle: Iconic, some would say Isabelle: 🤭 Savannah: these pics are going to make me cry, I swear Savannah: too adorable Savannah: as if you've all been friends for so long Jac: It's so wild to me that we weren't friends before now Jac: we should've been friends this whole time too Savannah: I know, but I guess I wasn't ready until now Savannah: I had so much character development to do first Jac: 🙌🙏 ^^ SAME Jac: it had to be now Jac: you're all being nice about it but I would lowkey DIE if you knew me even a few years ago Jac: not cute Savannah: ^^^^^^ Savannah: Ty hasn't seen me before we got together & I 🙏🏾 he never will Amelia: he didn't go to another school, I think he knows that you existed before him Jac: the glo-up is too real to go back 💁 Savannah: I'm still waiting for my glow up Savannah: there's only so much the spa can do Jac: 😤 you're so FLAWLESS Jac: like literally, there isn't a single thing wrong with you Savannah: stop, I don't know if I'll start blushing or sobbing Isabelle: I would love to look like you, Savannah Isabelle: what should I wear tonight? Isabelle: I want Tom to notice me Savannah: I'm flattered but you need to embrace your own beauty, Is Savannah: it's so important Savannah: Oh, Tom R or Tom S? Isabelle: Ew, Tom S Isabelle: I made out with Tom R last year and it was baaaad bad Savannah: One second, I'll ask Ty about him now I have the right Tom Isabelle: I'm so excited I might puke Savannah: okay so he likes to make the first move, you'll need to dress like you're not the kind of girl who kissed Tom R Isabelle: How do I do that? I need help 😩 Savannah: maybe you can borrow something of Amelia's Isabelle: Can I Meels? Isabelle: I dunno if I'll suit your style though...I'm not cool Amelia: I couldn't get the grass stains out of the skirt you borrowed last time Isabelle: Whoops 😉 Amelia: and you don't need to dress to impress Tom S anyway, he's nothing special Isabelle: He's so lush though Amelia: 🤨 Isabelle: Come on! You have eyes Isabelle: isn't he so fit guys Savannah: I only have eyes for one boy, but he does have nice eyes himself Jac: You've done worse Isabelle: Yeah, Tom R for example Isabelle: 😨 Savannah: 😅 Savannah: You know who apparently is the worst kisser ever, Donovan! Savannah: have you ever kissed him, Is? Isabelle: Have I? Isabelle: 🤔 Amelia: he leaned in to 💋 but you 🤮 on his trainers Isabelle: Ha! Isabelle: Dodged a bullet, apparently Jac: He wasn't as fast Savannah: Oh my god! Jac: It was so shaming, we had to call her mum to pick her up Savannah: my parents would kill me Jac: Your mum is like, beyond chill, Is Jac: she lets you get away with loads Savannah: I'd be beyond jealous if I wanted to kiss Tom R, or fall down drunk in his path, at least Savannah: thankfully he's not my type Isabelle: Not even, she was so mad at me for ages Isabelle: I was sick in the fireplace Isabelle: it was so hard to clean Jac: Is that friend of Ty's going? Jac: 😶 Savannah: yes Jac: 🥴 Isabelle: oooooooooooooooooh, do you like someone J?!?!? Savannah: he doesn't usually go to house parties but as soon as he heard you were, he recognised that Erin's had potential Isabelle: who who Savannah: J doesn't want to make a big deal out of it Amelia: then why turn it into a big secret? Jac: It's no secret Jac: but Is has already got no chill and you know I'm shy Jac: I won't be able to cope with how blatant her 👀 is Amelia: you could've told me that you liked someone Jac: I am telling you Jac: like, right now Amelia: not really Jac: What do you mean? 🤨 Amelia: I mean, you're not actually telling me anything Jac: I'm not trying to like, commandeer this whole convo and make it about me Jac: but okay Jac: he's one of Ty's friends, he's on the team too Amelia: I could scroll up for that info but okay Jac: I don't know what you want me to say? Jac: I've not spoken to him properly yet, he's just interesting Amelia: interesting how? Jac: 😳 Savannah: is this third degree honestly necessary? Jac: maybe I shouldn't go now Jac: I'm feeling kinda off Savannah: Baby 😔 Savannah: we can do whatever you want to do Jac: No, I won't spoil your guys fun Jac: you should all go Savannah: it won't be any fun without you Savannah: & anyway, if you don't feel well you need someone there to take care of you Jac: You'd do that for me? Jac: you'll make me cry, I swear Savannah: It's just a stupid party, you're you Jac: Will Ty be mad at you? Savannah: of course not, all his friends will be there, he doesn't need me as much as you do Jac: I wanna still try to do the spa Jac: for Sienna Jac: but I just can't see him now, the anxiety is too high Savannah: she'll understand if we have to reschedule but it might make you feel better to be pampered Savannah: but I'll give you a facial if you can't cope with a full spa situation Savannah: it's totally your decision Jac: I do have this new mask I think will be amazing for your skin type Jac: bring Sienna, she can see the new pup we just got Savannah: you understand too, don't you, Is? Savannah: I'll take you for a manicure next week, I promise Isabelle: Oh, yeah, totally Isabelle: mum said it's too much to accept anyway Isabelle: Are you sure you don't want to come though? Isabelle: sounds like he really wants to see you Savannah: I'm here for you if you want any more outfit help for Tom, just facetime me Isabelle: Thank you sweetie, I'm really torn between these 3 dresses Isabelle: wait, 4 Isabelle: I'll definitely call Jac: You're a doll, Is Jac: Tom is gonna be 😍 Savannah: ^^ I can't wait to hear how blown away he is by you Isabelle: I'll give you all the rundown tomorrow morning 😁😁😁 Isabelle: do you want to go together, Meels? Amelia: I've got to put the time in with mum, I'll probably be late getting there Amelia: don't worry about waiting for me Isabelle: Okay, if you're sure Isabelle: come find me when you get there Amelia: yeah, Tom's tall, I'll be able to Isabelle: 🤤🤤🤤 Isabelle: he's so tall Amelia: play it cool, Is Isabelle: 😖 Savannah: you don't need to listen to Amelia, she's not an expert Amelia: I don't need to know about boys, I know her Isabelle: I don't wanna be sick on this one's shoes Amelia: of course you don't Amelia: trust me, drink less, dance more Jac: you should let him give you your first drink Savannah: 👏🏾 he'll LOVE that Isabelle: Ugh, thanks guys Isabelle: I am going to need to pre-drink though Isabelle: for my nerves Amelia: me too, for my 🎭🩰🧠 Jac: What ballet is it? Amelia: 🔥🐦 Jac: Your mum will love it Amelia: she hasn't already seen it, that's a good start Jac: I haven't either Jac: I mean, I just watch the performances at home but yeah Jac: we've sent the flowers via one of those postbox ones, they'll come tomorrow Amelia: she'll love those too Amelia: maybe even more than seeing me dressed for 🎭🩰 Jac: send us your outfit too then, yeah Amelia: no way, they're going nowhere but my mum's facebook Jac: I am her friend, you know Isabelle: hey, I'm not! Amelia: add her, she won't mind Isabelle: I'm so going to Isabelle: not my Insta though Isabelle: I've blocked mine 💁 Amelia: it's okay, I don't let her on my insta either any more Amelia: she leaves too many 😳 comments Isabelle: Mammys are the worst Isabelle: 😬😬 Amelia: at least she understands socials, my dad is clueless Amelia: and he's not THAT old Isabelle: My nan loves selfies Amelia: your nan is my everything Amelia: if I could bring her to the party tonight, I would Isabelle: 😂 you're so wild Amelia: tear yourself away from whichever Tom it is and you'll see Isabelle: not with Pam thank you 🤣 Isabelle: she has a boyfriend Amelia: get it Pamela Isabelle: his name is Brian Isabelle: they go down dolly mount every Friday, it's so cute Amelia: I'm so happy for them Jac: Awh, how sweet Jac: What about Jackie, has she been dating? Isabelle: She never tells me anything Isabelle: she says she's too busy working Amelia: Jackie doesn't need a man Isabelle: You sound just like her! Amelia: cut me deeper, Is 💔 Isabelle: sorry, you do though Isabelle: do you listen to the same female empowerment spotify playlist? Amelia: link me, I'd probably I'd be into it Isabelle: [does, imagine those single lady tunes lmao] Amelia: 😂 Amelia: this could save my life when I hate the 🎭🩰 Isabelle: no, no, take this Isabelle: [some dance sexy sassy playlist she's listening to] Amelia: you should send that one to Erin Amelia: save the party too Isabelle: Good idea Isabelle: [some cringy tiktok moment of her dancing, Isabelle stop] Amelia: [a video of amelia dancing amazingly at some party or other recently that Isabelle had to go home early from so she missed it, cos we gotta remind the lurking bae who we are] Isabelle: 🤯🤯🤯🤯 YOU'RE SO GOOD Isabelle: you should post! you'd get so many likes Amelia: I was so drunk, that's all Savannah: I can't believe that's you! Amelia: 🤔 am I flattered or offended Isabelle: Meels has always been a good dancer Isabelle: you should teach me Amelia: we can start tonight if it won't make Tom rage that he isn't teaching you something Isabelle: it's for his benefit Isabelle: so many lads are gonna be 😍 at you Amelia: they'll be looking at you if I do it right Isabelle: I'm fine with that 😋 Amelia: me too Jac: [some message between Ty and this Tom with some form of insider info they've made him get lol like you're welcome Isabelle but you also owe us now] Amelia: I'm seriously not understanding why you like him, Is Isabelle: 😲 OMG OMG Isabelle: it is so useful having a boy on our team Isabelle: thank you Ty, ahhhhhhh Isabelle: [pictures of him like hello] Savannah: We all want you to be happy Isabelle: 🥺🥺 awwwww Savannah: did you narrow down your outfit picks yet? Isabelle: no, I'm making toasties Isabelle: mum said I have to line my stomach 🙄 Jac: I hope that doesn't make a reappearance later Amelia: Erin's 🏠 is lovely, try not to redecorate it for her Amelia: can I stay over at yours, Is? Amelia: my parents will be all 😍🥰😘 Isabelle: 🤢🤢🤢 Isabelle: You can Isabelle: mum's on nights so she'll be gone and we won't have to worry about waking her up Amelia: if Tom's staying too, tell me now because that's as 🤢 Isabelle: Amelia! Amelia: I don't want to see or hear it, sorry Isabelle: he won't be staying, oh my gosh Amelia: okay Isabelle: I'm not a slag Isabelle: that's just what Kane put about when I dumped him for two-timing me Amelia: until I shut him up Isabelle: Ha, that was funny Isabelle: I thought he was gonna cry Amelia: he probably did when he went home Jac: 👏 Amelia: I should probably go get 🎭🩰 ready Amelia: 😣 this 👗 though Amelia: I'm going to look like I belong on Pam's 🚽 to hide her 🧻 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like you can wear your grass-stained skirt Amelia: It's long gone Jac: Shame Amelia: yeah, I liked it Jac: and Is had a good time in it Jac: fond memories Amelia: I'm sorry, okay? Jac: ... Jac: What? Amelia: for the 'third degree' earlier Jac: Oh, right Jac: well thanks for apologising, that's mature of you Amelia: I can be, sometimes Jac: I wouldn't suggest otherwise Amelia: I just had no idea you liked any of Ty's friends Jac: It's not like a thing, is all Jac: I'm not like in love with the boy Jac: you'd know if it was serious Amelia: would I? Jac: Obviously Jac: don't be silly Amelia: I have to go, I wouldn't have time to be silly even if you wanted me to Jac: Make sure your mum has a good time then ❤ Amelia: she will, I've booked a dinner reservation and everything Savannah: That's so cute! I feel like I should be a better daughter starting today Jac: Same Jac: putting us all to shame Isabelle: I only got my mum a necklace from the market for her birthday Isabelle: and it made her neck go green 😩 Amelia: she's been annoying me less lately Amelia: actually being helpful Isabelle: 🥳🥳🥳 Amelia: I didn't realise she was good for advice AND gossip Jac: You know you can talk to us too, right Isabelle: ^^ We're your best friends forever Amelia: it's nothing, I thought I liked someone too but I got it wrong Isabelle: but you never like ANYONE Isabelle: no offence Amelia: none taken Isabelle: you'll find someone Meels 😙 Amelia: maybe Amelia: maybe not Isabelle: Of course you will, you're lovely! Isabelle: right girls Jac: But she can take as much time as she likes, Is Savannah: Ty has so many amazing friends when you are ready, but there's no rush Amelia: Thanks Sav, but they're not my type Jac: I hate to think of your mum waiting on her birthday Jac: you don't wanna be late because Is still hasn't picked an outfit Amelia: don't worry, I'm going Isabelle: See you at Erin's 💖 Jac: Later 👋 Amelia: yeah x 2