#yeah this was ineviable

[snixx]

*starts drafting a rant on tumblr dot com* *writes a few hundred words* *is overcome by lethargy and omg doesn't sleeping sound so much more fun than this because im never going to get everything i want to express down and it's gonna feel forever incomplete* *lets it rot in my drafts forever and ever*

[cerastes]

I was wondering if you had any advice on doing well in the new RA mode, I'd like to give it a proper go because the mode is interesting but I kind of struggled with the last version. Mostly with being efficient with resource gathering and getting my base built properly for eneny attacks. Even just a quick list of basic tips would be super helpful, thanks!

Sure thing, a quick and dirty on RA Wiseposting:

A basic understanding of math takes you a long way. What this means is, every time you go on any deployment, no matter how small, you are using resources: Six pieces of Rice at the bare minimum (for 2 energy drinks), and an Act, of which you get two per day. So that's the baseline of what you are spending outside of whatever else you bring, such as Wood Harvesters (7 Wood per unit plus 1 Stone), Crabbie Pumpies (10 Wood per unit), and so on. If you use a Harvester, getting 7 Wood out of it is just enough to break even, any more Wood you get on top of that is what you are actually bringing in. Basically, make sure you are actually not losing resources on each outing.

For the love of god, use your resources. Yeah, you need to accumulate resources to level up your HQ, but you also need to use them for Gameplay. For the low low cost of 2 Stones and 2 Water, you can make Urban Barriers that reroute enemies. For the pitance that is 5 Wood, you can make Battlements, which are your own deployable Ranged tile. For 8 Wood, you can craft a Reactive Barrier, a 5 Block wall that can hold light and medium enemies for a bit while you deploy everything else and build your DP, as RA2 maps open very fast for the most part. These are insanely powerful tools and when I hear someone struggling with RA, my first guess is that they are not using these tools. You can shape any map to suit your intent. If you can't understand how strong that is, then you are not ready to tackle this gamemode, which, actually, leads me to the next point:

This IS endgame. Like, endgame endgame. Besides using the game mode's mechanics, it's also expected that you know your team building besides "I can deploy Surtr, Ch'ung and Mlynar, and win". It's absolutely not going to work if you don't know how else to to build a comp and take on challenges harder than Do Damage To It Without Minding Anything Else. That and the raw requirements in terms of number of Operators to truly enjoy all bonuses within the game mode (like Expeditions and Logistics).

Learn to do maps as efficiently as possible: Try to master getting all the animals or resources in any given map, you are using Food and an Act to do anything, make sure to get as much as you can out of it, how to go about each given hunting or resource map, which units, how much to spend on Gatherers and Watch Towers, etc. This ties in on point one. Battlements allow you to put ranged tiles to burst resource tiles more easily, too.

Cook food and use it. Food is incredibly powerful and gives you a lot of flexibility on what you want out of each individual unit: More Block and bulk, more SP generating, more Attack, less DP cost and redeployment timer, food is just VERY powerful and by not cooking and eating these stat boosting meals, you are very much making your life harder for you. Experiment at first to discover recipes, then start cooking what you need for whatever task you need.

INTERCEPT. Intercepting is attacking enemies before they reach your base. If you lose in your HQ, you lose. If you lose anywhere else, you just keep going and whatever enemies died remain dead. You don't need to kill hordes on the first fight, you just need to thin them and make each subsequent fight easier. Why fight 230ish enemies all hitting you at once when you can attack them, thin that out to maybe 160 then 120 then to 33 and then actually defend against a fraction of them with a LOT more leeway? You can just make a team that has no intention of actually winning and instead just aims to kill as many enemies as quickly as possible before you inevitably leak the boss. Figure out your own strategies and use structures and traps you can craft.

These would be the six fundamental maxims for RA2, I would say. You can use Urban Barriers to make mazes on maps and set up kill points and other things, but that's a whole other post.

[the-epic-hiram-lows]

Crossover episode! Which non Archie Comics property should Archie and his friends interact with?

If you ask me again, I'll probably say something different, because this doesn't feel like it would be final answer if my brain were working. However... Saltburn.

In essence, Saltburn is a great foil to Riverdale. It is like a set of fraternal twins who bear a strong resemblance. A crossover would provide some very interesting interactions that could potentially change the characters significantly.

They explore a lot of the same themes:

Jughead as an academic outsider vs. Oliver as an academic outsider

Archie as a typical guy's guy who harbors an oft-exploited hero complex vs. Felix (identical description, but my computer won't let me copy paste rn for some reason????)

Several characters as bastard children/half-children who get the cold shoulder vs. Farleigh, cousin and charity case, the son of a disgraced aristocrat

the theme of predatory people in power (Farleigh's mother seemingly getting groomed as a teenager, the Lolita book in the back of the lecture which was very intentional for reasons I won't explain unless asked because it's not relevant, the mobster heavily implied to be behind his girlfriend's untimely death, etc)

Homoeroticism

But they are also different in how they paint people. Everyone would be much worse or much better after a crossover episode, which is what I crave. It's psychological torture, a therapy session, and heightened drama all in one.

Felix is written to be full of intentional kindness and unintentional cruelty. His hero complex is strong, but his privilege made him unaware of his casual unkindness and misogyny. Like Archie, he seemingly exists to be an object of desire, but he is both oblivious and obliging about it. Archie would probably hate Felix, but Felix would love Archie- and maybe disarm him, as he is known to do.

Saltburn is a lot greyer, morally-speaking, and purposefully so. How often does a story make you feel bad for a family with ancestral wealth? Riverdale is very clear about who is good and who is bad. Sometimes people will act outside of their prescribed label, and you have some people (like Kevin) who constantly do stupid things but without malice, but Saltburn characters would leave you constantly guessing if they are showing you their entire deck or not (again, I should not to card game metaphors, but I keep doing it.)

Venetia is, like... an entire season of Riverdale. An acidic socialite with extreme self esteem issues, a borderline incestuous relationship and lots of family trauma. I'd love to see Veronica interact with her. She would give Venetia the attention she aches for and talk her out of purging every meal. Now, if you've seen Saltburn, you might be thinking 'but that's what Oliver did.' And you would be right, except his motivations were very different.

Since Oliver is written as a vampiric metaphor, imagine what actual supernatural elements would allow him to do.

In general, giving Riverdale characters access to people with 11 figure bank accounts would multiply everything by ten. The good can do more good, but imagine Hiram holed up in a gothic castle with aristocratic figures. Think of the far-reaching schemes he could concoct.

Saltburn has no qualms about scandal. The type of corruption we see in Riverdale is nothing compared to what we would see if Riverdale were written by Emerald Fennell. While Riverdale finds joy in gasps, the gasps it gets are due to silliness or huge plot twists. Saltburn has both- it never takes itself seriously, and has plenty of twists and turns- but it doesn't shy away from the depravity of human nature. Also, yeah, those scenes (iykyk,) which show a lack of politeness a platform like The CW demands of its stories.

Jughead and Betty would have a shit ton of story/investigation fodder. If nothing else, Saltburn (the location) contains what is essentially a museum about itself within its walls that they could dive into, but they would inevitably find a family secret to unravel. Maybe they'd solve Pamela's whole thing? If the crossover is during the events of the movie, they would absolutely change the outcome.

Farleigh is both a tragic, sensitive figure and a conniving opportunist. He and Cheryl would have some amazing conversations. He'd also absolutely hook up with Kevin, and probably somebody's parent. Depending on who else he interacts with, he might get some primo therapy as well.

The setting of Saltburn is such a great place to put serial killers, time travel, and witches. The setting of Riverdale is such a great place to put vengeful would-be heirs, cocaine-sniffing socialites, nudity, puke, social climbers, and death as a metaphor for sex.

The atmosphere in Riverdale would be thicker with tension. A sense that there is potentially sex or murder at the end of every interaction.

[toffyrats]

hey guys

have a little thingy i did w my ocs. avery is a wolf and juliette is a bunny for context... it takes place sometime mid 1800s havent decided yet lmao. i am NOT explaiming their whole lore but yeah lets just. go. also predator/prey racism system is like in zootopia but ramped up abit because it's the 1800s cmon. oh yeah also im sosorry for the lack of indents i wrote this on my musty old phone

"so... philadelphia, huh?" avery snorted as he flopped down less than gracefully onto the train bench. "what's so special 'bout it anyway? jus' seems like another stuck-up, pompous city wit' a bunch of stuck-up, pompous animals to go with it. 's like a package deal wit' cities."

avery leaned back sideways on the bench, his head hitting the wall. he stole a quick glance over at juli and shook his head. "no offense." a pause. "actually, no, all offense." he curled up in the corner of the seat, his tail curled almost protectively around himself. he huffed and stared out of the window.

juliette sighed and self-consciously pulled her dress down across her knees. "well, sor-RY. guess you're used to it by now."

"used to what? you forcin' me to go on this stupid train ride and inevi.. in.. hold on." avery stopped for a moment, seemingly thinking, only the tip of his tail moving. "inevita... i-nev-i-ta-ble-y. inevitably talkin' my ear off the whole way?" he finally got out, looking proud of himself for a moment before his usual scowl creased his face. "'cause i ain't."

"no, avery," juli groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. "i mean, used to being pushed around. by our kind." she made a wild gesture with her paw, looking around almost desperately. "you know... rabbits, mice-" she pointed to the train attendant, who had been especially rude to avery while the pair had been boarding the car. "-deer, haha. uh... um-"

"yeah, ya runnin' outta prey to name? i got it, thanks," avery snarled, his lip curling dangerously and his tail lashing, brushing against the leather seat.

"r-right. uh." juli searched for somehow, something to change the subject. giving up, she let out a long and- if she was being honest, purposely exaggerated- sigh, and mirrored avery's sulking against the window.

there was a few beats of tensioned silence, before avery broke it with another snort.

"ha. there ya are, mopin' by the window, waitin' for me to comfort you. it's this thing with girls, i've learned."

juliette indignantly opened her mouth to retort, even though she inwardly knew avery was right.

"aaaand there it is," he drawled with a rude-sounding chuckle. "see, this is why i don't do comfort. whatever needs to be said, it'll be that way eventually. if it never is, it wasn't important enough."

"that's awful!"

"tha's jus' life, darlin'. now go on and tell me, and rest assured, i won't care." avery made a dramatic slicing motion with both his arms and then fell back against the seat, grinning triumphantly. his top canines curled out prominently, and juli just shook her head with a sad sigh.

"the whole reason we're on this train.. my father sent for me."

"woah, the big guy himself, eh? must be quite a day."

juli glared daggers at the wolf- sprawled out disrespectfully on the seat in front of her- before going on. "i don't mean to appear rude, but... you probably don't understand how rich families truly work..." juli waited for a sneer, a laugh, some kind of snide remark from avery- but it never came. good, atleast he might be kind of paying attention.

"the men get the inheritance, the money, the power, the choices. while the women... get the chance to-"

"marry into just another pretentious jackass household?" avery tore his eyes away from the window, and juliette lifted her gaze from her lap.

"yeah..." she breathed. it wasn't anything special, what avery said. but the satisfaction of knowing he was listening at all was enough for juli.

"my father wants to marry me off. for the money, i assume." juli hung her head once again, wringing her paws and her nose twitching nervously in that way all rabbits did. "unfair, methinks, after running away to philadelphia immediately after receiving the dowry and inheritance. i don't want to see him- he ruined my mother's life. and in turn, mine." her paws curled into fists at her sides. "i much less don't want to marry someone like him--"

"then you shouldn't have to." avery's voice was as stubborn and angry-sounding as it always was, but there was a tone of softness in it that juli had never heard him use before. "fuck ya da. fuck the rules. who cares? why'd ya even get on the train in the first place?"

"my mother would be disappointed," juliette whispered, her ear tips stinging slightly from the strong curses flowing from avery's mouth as if they were slaps to the face.

"ya know what, fuck ya ma, too." juli's ears twitched involuntarily and angled away. "i saw that!" avery shouted, earning him a loud hush from the train attendant. he glared at him before leaning closer to juli and dropping his voice volume slightly. "you listen to me, dollface. if ya don't wanna do it, who on god's green earth is gonna make you?? no one, that's who."

"i have to marry into a rich family. i barely get a choice," juli sobbed, wiping her eyes with the back of her paw.

"yeah, well- it ain't right." avery nudged juli's paw away from her face gentler than both of them would have expected him to. "listen, when we get to philadelphia, you'll see. i'm sure ya da ain't all that anyways."

avery swallowed suddenly and returned to his curled-up state in the corner of his seat.

"thank you," juliette breathed out. "for that."

"'t was nothin'," avery mumbled, running his paws across the brush of his tail.

they rode in complete- though comfortable- silence for the rest of the trip.

[hausofmamadas]

Catch me army crawling through the mud, venturing into my react reblogs sksksksksksk and trying to catch up on my reading list bc it’s so long overdue. And this one sksksksksk in particular esp long overdue so long in fact that I already reblogged the two chapters after this and almost forgot about this one. So without further ado, let’s get to the screaming, shall we.

═

✷ All that matters, is that he fell asleep in your bed, still dressed, and that was never the plan. He was gonna leave, back out the window and onto his bike before it got too early to be pointless.

SKSKSKSKKSKSKSK i am already fucking chortling here bc like Angel has unquestionably fucked soooooooo many ppl right, and he’s flipping out over falling asleep, fully-clothed at a “friend’s” house a friend he def wants to bang but like that would make things entirely too real so he’s just pretending he doesn’t like baby boy, nothing happened and you trippin sksksks such a clear case of methinks the lady doth protest to much si me sientes?

✷ To fall asleep with you against him, face on his chest, patches probably leaving imprints on your cheek. Santo Padre pushed into the skin in that same blocky font. Way too fucking soon for that, yeah? Why not seal the deal and go have breakfast with the parents, too?

“Santo Padre pushed into the skin in that same blocky font.” Alright, whatever, I’m not mad. I’m not at all mad about the word smithery, I’m not fucking mad at the multi-layered meanings of this sentence, the fact that like it speaks to the Reader’s sense of personal identification with Santo Padre as home or lack thereof and how their emotional investment in the place is deeply tied with Angel, whom they are physically sleeping against, with the words Santo Padre being literally pressed into their face //@/@&:2&:! Like I’m not mad. I’m just not. I’m really angy happy for you that you wrote something so cool and profound and am not at all shaking my fist into the sky cursing bc i can never write it BUT THEN ALSO, sksksksksks the way I fucking almost choked laughing at Angel immediately reading into it sksksk liek homie is acting like he has fucking impregnated Reader, like mans just had a sleepover and he’s acting like he needs to get down on one knee and propose. The cognitive dissonance is so fucking funny and so fucking Angel

✷ That job shit really got to you. This is the longest you’ve gone without telling him something about himself, or cracking a joke that makes him so annoyed, but so glad you’re back. He misses it like you’ve gone mute.

“He misses it like you’ve gone mute.” *throws pencil down on desk, shoves rollie chair back angrily, slides over extension cord, tips over, falls flat on own face crying* I give up. I fucking give up. It’s so good ???? like it’s just ??? Fire ?? Y me siento ??? que voy a haberte chingadazos (cariñosa por supuesto) for writing something so good ???

✷ ‘I thought someone might’ve stolen my bike. Forgot your neighbours are, like, five hundred years old.’

KSSKSKKSKSKSKS i have nothing profound to say do I ever, let’s be real sksksksks except that this seems like a hilariously specific detail that would never occur to me but that Angel would pick up on like idk it’s just correct

✷ Your hair’s flattened on one side, your lips are dry from breathing through your mouth—yeah, that’s something he’ll use later—and honestly, you look like you haven’t been awake, or human, in a year at least. But he wants to get back in, he realises. He wants to apologise again, lie down, and put your goofy sleep-struck face back onto his chest like he’d never moved at all.

NOOOOOOOSNSJSKSKSNS BUTNSKSKSKD THERE ISNSODJSJJS SO MUCH TO UNPACKSKSKS HERE BC LIKE SLSKSKSKSKS specifically “that’s something he’ll use later,” bc on it’s face is like, yeah angel’s gonna bust Reader’s chops about that like the good bff that he is, right. But then likelsksksksks why do I also feel like Angel’s filing that away for like ... a moment of pre-nut clarity when Reader inevitably enters his mind while he’s jacking off, and it’s like an Anti-Spank Bank, like he summons the image to skskskdndk kill the fucking mood so that he can further deny attraction and feels like it realltkskseksn seems like he’s filing that away for self-preservation purposes specifically to blue ball himself in case Reader pops into his mind sksksk like noooooskskskskskskskskskskkekekekekekeke I am really actually fucking bawling. I don’t care if it’s not canon, it’s fully canon in my mind. Bc like sksksks on the heels of that is, “He wants to apologise again, lie down, and put your goofy sleep-struck face back onto his chest like he’d never moved at all.” Like my baby boy, you have got it so skskskskskskekfucking bad and you don’t even know, I am Screamin

✷ And that is a very fucking loco thing to be thinking on a Thursday morning. Looking at you, biche.

Ngl, this reminded me of that one time Jacob called Bella “loca” for no reason in New Moon sksksksks that is all. Except it feels actually correct for Angel but like I did cackle bc of the association

✷ A lot has changed since you went away, but you weren’t a liar then, and you aren’t now. As far as he knows, anyway.

Awww this is sweet, like the levels of trust in there even tho imjustsosorry, mans is wrong cause everyone lies sksks between them after so many years. It smacks of like “a lot has changed but some things never do.” On the flip side, it is interesting bc I feel like there is a leeeeeeetle tiiiiiiiiiiny bit of Angel putting Reader in a pedestal and actually the whole thing kinda does, like how unsettled he is to see them kind of down, and second guessing themselves bc they don’t have a job, like idk if any of that was purposeful or if that’s me just making shit uo as I go option 2 is highly likely bc when do I ever know what im talking about but this little window into Angel’s psyche is very interesting to me

✷ He’s never seen someone actually look depressed while they’re falling asleep before, but you’re managing it. He can see you waiting for the bed to swallow you whole. Something about the way your shoulders are sitting, all tucked into yourself.

SKSKSKKSLSLSOWOWOOWEOODKSOS THE WAY I FELT SO FUCKING ATTACKED WHILE READING THIS BC AS I HAVE SCREAMED ABOUT BEFORE, THE LAST WHOLE YEAR OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN A SERIES OF JUST FUCKHAPS AND THE UNIVERSE LAUGHING AT ME WHILE IM MAKING MY LITTLE PLANS AND I ABSOLUTELY RESEMBLE ALL OF THESE REMARKSKSKSKSKS like I know for a fact I have managed the strange feat of looking depressed while falling asleep or as I like to call it, looking like I’m collapsing in on myself like a dying star .... bc I am and god, it just reallysksksks man i felt too seen KEKW

✷ House looks the same as it did when he was there to eat pizza and watch WrestleMania on the box TV in your living room. God, that was a lifetime ago now.

The specificity of Wrestlemania makes me want to throttle you to death in the most loving way possible. Like again, the layers, the details, the thought put into establishing the foundations of their friendship are just marvelous and so authentic and I hate you (affectionate)

✷ Then, he’s back into reality, down the steps from your porch and over to his bike like nothing has happened. No sleepover, no boundaries crossed. Just back to the grind, same as every day.

AGAIN INIUSTJSJSKSKSJE I CANNOT GET OVER HOW WIGGED OUT ANGEL ISKSKSKSKSK LIKE BRO, IDK HOW MANY STI SCARES YOUVE PROB HAD IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS BUT I KNOW YOUVE BEEN TO THE CLINIC MORE THAN ONCE TO GET TESTED AND YOURE ACTINF LIKE SLEEPOVER IS AKIN TO SODOMY OR SOMETHIFNFFKFKDN LIKE IT’S MAKING ME HOWL THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

✷ The one time he’s up before noon and every other person he talks to is dead-set on being sleeping beauty.

Skskskkskskskskksks okay as a perpetual night goblin myself, I know this feel so deeply and it basically boils down to like, someone pls give me a medal for the one time I decided to be a respectable fucking member of society by waking up before 11am, yes pls throw me a parade for doing something that literally everyone else does every fucking day of their livesksksks, yes pls Pat me on the head and tell me how much non-garbage adult I am, and how good I am doing thankyoun

✷ Angel snorts; imagines himself saying, Yeah, I’m near by. Wanna hear a crazy story, bro? Guess where I slept last night.

PFFFFFTTTT IVE ALREADY SAID IT SO MANY TIMESKSKS I KNOW BUT LOKEKSSKEK and bc Im posting this out of order like sksks I just keep thinking about “bodies at the border” and all the stuff Angel’s done for the club, and the thing he’s freaking out about is falling asleep at his supposed totally-platonic-and-not-at-all-romantic-in-nature bestest good childhood friend’s house and itnsekekkekeke really is sending me

✷ ‘Alright, relax,’ EZ complains. ‘Man, I like it way better when you’re the one oversleeping.’

Yeah, me the fuck too.

Uhhhhhhh yeah so I’ve screamed already so many times about this too are we seeing a pattern here but like the brother banter and the tone and vibe of the EZ-Angel brother-love is beyond spot on, like half the time I forget it’s not in the fucking show

✷ He’s poking out the hole in the ground like a prairie dog. A prairie dog in his abuelita’s wig.

SOSODOEEOKWKW A PRARIE DOG WISKSKEKEKENE E IN HIS ABUELITA’S SOSKSKSKEEKN WIG. FIRST OFF, THIS IS WKSKS THIS IS JUST SOakaaksksFUCKING ANGEL TO A TEE. SECONDLY, THISKSKSKS IS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF COCO AT ANY POINT IN THE SHOWNSOSKSKS BC MAN’S HAIR IS ICONIC AND LIKE ALL 4 HAIRSTYLES HE HAS COULD BE DIFF ABUELITA’S WIGS

✷ Used to make breakfast around him like he was cohabiting with a viper. So bite-y until he’d had his breakfast, or a smoke.

Ngl, just this tiniest of nuggets is enough to make me want to pay you to write a prequel novel fic about Angel living with a post-Iraq, post-traumatic-stressed Coco and like their early mc adventures bc I have so many questions that need answering so like, y’know if you ever have the inclinationskwkkse I will be waiting patiently just sliding that full house of a hand across the poker table slowly

✷ He’s got that line between his brows like Angel’s said something stupid again. His favourite fucking expression lately.

At some point, in every chapter of this fic, there’s something that makes me just throw my hands up like MT POOR BABT BOY!!!!!!! THIS IS SUCH SADBOY VIBES AND I JUST WANT TO HUG HIM AND PET HIS HAIR AND TELL HIM HES DOING GREAT WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE A LIE DEPENDING ON THE SITUATIONSKSKSSKE and this is that moment

✷ He’d rather that, Pops telling him how much of a constant disappointment he is, than whatever this is. Silence stings in a way he can’t shake off.

“Silence stings in a way he can’t shake off.” Just .... I am fully :lebron tear: :angy: …. the emotional resonance, the alliteration, the simplicity, the lyrical, rhythmic flow ….. I just I don’t even... I don’t even know what to say to you. Except that it’s fucking rude ???????? Yeah, rude. It’s actually rude be this good so I hope your happy

✷ He’d rather be the one taking that risk. Him and his ‘arrest me’ looking self. So, no, not that.

SKSKKSKSKSKSKS HIM AND HIS “ARREST ME” LOOKING SELF like i love Angel and he doesn’t always see himself super clearly but oikekskksksks in this skskskskskskskskekeekekke in this he is not wrong and also, bc I have to make everything about me and my blorb, it reminded me of that thing I wrote where Barrón was thinking about how having tattoos makes you like a neon sign to the cops, asking to get frisked and how he def would use Angel for the dirty work type jobs bc he absolutely looks like a capital-C, Criminal and Angel would prob be like “....yea u right” KEKW

✷ ‘Something above board,’ he says, ‘legal. Something normal people do.’

EZ laughs. ‘Do we know any normal people?’

ALAKSKSKSKSKSKSNW AGAIN WITH THEIR FUCKING BANTER LIKE CAN WE PLS COLLECTIVELY CALL ELGIN AND PETITION TO HAVE YOU ADDED TO THE WRITING STAFF BC IT IS LITERALTKO FUCKING THEM

✷ He does, anyway, miles better, in fact. About the baby, about the two of you. About being useful to someone who isn’t paying him to be.

“About being useful to someone who isn’t paying him to be.” *bites fist whilst scream crying to the point of hyperventilation* I MEANSKSKSS WHST SKSKSSKSOSOXDJEIE :&:&/!:;&/92029:&;8392&2!/@.02@2’wnwowowoenroepwosownqmwo£ THE FIDIDKEEJEJNE FUCKINGSKSO I mean...... what more do I even need to say except lik e..... ?? I’m broken ? inside ??? Like if you were to cut me open rn, you’d absolutely have to fish around for various organs and bones and things like a game of Operation bc thaaaaaat’s how fucking internally disassembled I am ??

✷ EZ turns to him, as he reaches the same conclusion Angel has. ‘Shall we?’ he asks.

Angel swallows the last of his beer. ‘I think we fucking shall.’

And, fuck it, he’ll bring the bar stool too.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹I just love them so much. I’m jusrksksks babbling repeating myself but you have them down SO FUCKING WELL IT MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKING THROW THINGS

✷ He hadn’t worked out how to survive in there yet, didn’t know when to joke and when to keep his mouth shut.

I’m sorry.......... you did not just hit me with this. You did not just hit me with sad, scared, lost-little-puppy Angelito trying and lowkey failing to figure out how to person in prison. You didn’t. Bc you wouldn’t want to HIRT ME THIS FUXOINTSISIEKSN WAY PERO YA LO HICISTE, YA JUGASTE CON MI CORAZONCITO PORQUE TU ERES UN PINSHE DEMONIO DEL INFIERNO

✷ Pulled Angel right from under the guy, Boney—yeah, dumb name, that’s why it started, Angel just had to tell him that—and set them away from each other like children.

PFFFFFFTTTTTTKSKSKSKSKSKSKD FUCKING WISEASS ANGELSKSKSKS like he’s not wrong bc Boney is a fucking stupid name but like bby boy does not understand the concept of know your audiencekskssksks which just lends itself to my theory that he is secretly an undiagnosed little neurodivergent adhd king sksks

✷ His own head was spinning from the hits he’d taken. He couldn’t understand English, let alone Spanish, but that’s all Gabe ever used with him.

I love that Gabe refuses to speak to Angel in Spanish, like sksksks idk why but he’s giving off such like, “im too old and wise for your young and dumb shit but i cannot watch you continue to dig this nice and lovely grave for yourself bc I’ve seen too much suffering in this life,” and I love it already y por eso necesito novecientos cincuenta mas páginas sobre Gabe pa que puedo saber todo de su vida y historia previa. Ya. Ahorita, pues, gracias maje, no hay presión pero estaré esperandolo

✷ That’s when Angel noticed the tattoos across Gabe’s knuckles: MAYANS MC. He remembers thinking it was goofy, branding himself like that. Then, here he is now, having covered more of his skin than Gabe has, with the very same name. You don’t get it, until you’re in it.

“You don’t get it until youre in it.” BRUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH THE WAY THIS FULLY FUCKNG SLAPS BOTH SIDES OF MY FUCKING FACE THO and ofc, bc i am incapable of going 5 mins without thinking about my own blorbs, I have to mention that the sentiment of this reads so much like that one saying I got from that sicario’s autobiography and stole for dinarrón, the whole ‘con la raza baila con perro, sin la raza baila como un perro’

✷ ‘Pendejo…’ Gabe muttered. ‘You ever think before you speak?’

‘No, not really,’ he replied and, somehow, that chipped a smile across Gabe’s husky features. Sealed the deal for him.

OHHHHHHSKSKSKSKEKEKSKENNOOOOOO DJDJDJRNT TBUT THE WAY INWKNESOEOENW I AM SO PIKACHUWU AT THIS. SEALED THE DEAL FOR HIM, JUST LIKE THE FACT THAT ANGEL, DESPITE HIS INABILITY TO KNOW HIS FUCKING AUDIENCE, ALSO DOESNT TRY TO FRONT AT ALL, LIKE HE’S A LOUDMOUTH AND HE KNOWS IT AND THAT JUST EARNS GABE’S RESPEXT RIGHT OFF THE BACK, LIKE ESSENTIALLY GABE SEES, “THIS KID’S TOO BOLD FOR HIS OWN GOOD BUT AT LEAST HES FUCKING REAL” LIKE IT REALLY IS SO SWEET BUT ALSO SO ANGEL TOO OH I AM SKSOEKESOSOSOSOE REALLY FEEEEEEELOGIFNFNFJFOTKT FEELING FEELING FEELING SO MANY FUCKNG THINGS ABOUT THIS

✷ He never gets any leeway either, no matter how high he goes. Angel’s made it to secretary now and still, when you’ve fucked up, you’ve fucked up. Bish has no problem reminding him, or anyone, of that.

He never gets any leeway either sksksksksksksks no but I feel like this is so fucking true for Angel his whole gotdamn life. Like the first thing I thought of was Ignacio and Angel, and like again, this could totally be me reading into shit that isn’t there but like i feel like Im detecting a slight hint of resentment under the acceptance? Like he’s resigned but he’s not at all happy about it sksksksksskskks bc EZ who’s kind of the golden child, and usually Good At Things without trying too hard like that mf figured out how to be a cold sonofabitch in prison without much help from anyone else gets all the allowances, while people tend to infantalize Angel, like mans is frustrated by that but knows some of it is his own making. Like I’m just fucking rambling but i feel like it’s such an interesting thing that is simultaneously a point of pride and a point of insecurity ??? Idefk, it just made me Feel and Think A Lotta Things among those things was me at the mention of Bispo’s name: cue that Acme cartoon duck gif, undressing KEKW

✷ ‘Hey,’ Bish appears behind him, halfway out the door, ‘I’ve changed my mind. I want bodies tonight.’

Angel nods.

‘Be back here at midnight.’ He holds his gaze. ‘No more fucking about, Angel.’

“I want bodies tonight.” Not me climbing into a canon, and shooting myself through the front doors of the clubhouse, emerging from splinters of wood and dust, taking off my helmet all, “did you say body? Bc cariño, here is one body you can have tonight”

✷ Sometimes, he misses Oakland. He even misses Marcus, of all people. The guy had the leash so tight, Angel never got in trouble in the first place, never got scolded for things, because he never stepped out of line. He didn’t know he could miss that until recently.

OH NOT ANOTHER BLORB MENTIONSKSKSS MY BOY MARCUS AND AGAIN I AM SO :EYES: LIKE ARE WE GONNA GET MORE MARCUS AKA CAN WE ADD MARCUS TO THE ANGEL/COCO/GABE PREQUEL, THE RUSSIAN-NOVEL LENGTH PREQUEL THAT YOURE GOING TO WRITE FOR ME BC THIS CHAPTER OF THE FIC CANNOT BE THE ONLY ANGEL POV THAT I GET, BC THAT’S HOW WELL YOU DO IT IMJUSTSOSORRY YOURE NOW CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO SUPPLY ME WITH MORE OF THIS OKAY

✷ He smiles back and tries to make it look genuine. Chucky has a real talented way of making things sound fucking weird.

‘You ever feel like you need an extra pair of hands around here?’ He winces as soon as he asks it, Chuck’s wooden fingers already up and wiggling between them. ‘Sorry, you know,’ he sighs, ‘you get what I’m saying.’

Oh CHUCKY SKSKSKSKSKS every single time, no matter how small or mundane, every mention of that man makes me cheese so much into my phone like it really doesn't take much but this had me ON THE FUCKING FLOOOORR IN STITCHES SKSKSKKSKSK the entire thing could be ripped straight from the show script, i've already filmed it in my mind's eye, every frame, every shot, i know what they're both wearing, i know what the lighting looks like sksksk like it's just so there

═

Yeah, so like we agree, you’re gonna write another 12 books of Angel, pre-Mayans right? You are? Okay great, glad we’re on the same page bc :pepe lightsaber: I’m not asking

when the crows come home, 4

part one / part two / part three & ao3 link

angel reyes x gn!reader, part 4 of ?, 4588 words

a/n: screams. finally get to bring in some angel pov and some spanish AND some OCs. im chomping the bit - also theres translations at the end (thankyou @yourlocalspacewitxch​ love u)!

taglist: @drabbles-mc @cositapreciosa @ashlingiswriting

Angel didn’t mean to fall asleep here. He really didn’t mean to fall asleep here. 

He was talking, no, you were talking, he was listening, for most of the night. Until you weren’t. Until you were asleep. Well, who knows which person went first, it doesn’t matter, really. He doesn’t remember. All that matters, is that he fell asleep in your bed, still dressed, and that was never the plan. He was gonna leave, back out the window and onto his bike before it got too early to be pointless. So much for that. Instead, he fell asleep like he was already home, with your TV flickering over him instead of his own. 

It’s still on now. He’s still in his kutte too, and he fucking hates sleeping in his kutte. Shit feels like sleeping on a saddle, rigid and hot, so hot, once he starts sweating under it. 

God, he hopes you haven’t noticed the sweating. First time you’ve shared a bed and he’s damp under his shirt, behind his neck, across his fucking brow.

Keep reading

[capriciouswrites]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker & Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey & Inej Ghafa Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Trust Issues, Slow to get Shippy, Grisha Powers Summary:

When Inej first starts to loose her energy, Tante Heleen is relieved, thinking that she’s just decided to be sensible and stop fighting everything so much. But she keeps getting weaker, and ashy paler, and slower. 

Before too long none of the men will touch her at all, for fear that she has the pox or some other disease. And it doesn’t matter that Tante Heleen has hired every doctor and bodyworker and expert she can and not a single one knows what’s wrong with Inej. They try to tell her that the girl is just like this. 

[tainbocuailnge]

Apparently a few people on twitter and reddit are saying they'd rather trust FGO being handled with Cygames. Since you're more familiar with their track record than I am, what do you think about this?

I fucking hate the direction cygames has taken with both granblue and dragalia recently, the only clear benefit I can see coming out of fgo joining cygames’ ranks is a) the inhouse translation team means the game will be translated by people who actually play it working in close relation with the writers b) we’d definitely get a console port of fgo arcade because cygames blatantly wanted to be a console game developer anyway. much as people love to bitch about dw (and boy is everyone jumping at the chance to bitch about dw now that sakura wars is dead) I will continue to insist that they’re making noticable efforts to listen to user complaints, if nothing else they’ve been listening to MY complaints. granblue on the other hand is doing nothing but steadily getting worse the past two years, even setting aside my gripes with the writing and only focusing on the gameplay, and I’m still convinced it’s because they’ve put all the competent people to work on the console games.

it’s part of what I said in my previous post which i’ll link for when this ineviably gets reblogged out of context about respecting the player’s time and games that use autobattle as substitute for actually being fun to play. granblue USED to be a game that respects its players’ time but the past roughly two years it’s grown steadily worse and worse on that front. in the granblue I signed up for you could ignore it for weeks and then sit down for an afternoon and grind for a bit and make tangible process, but nowadays the game has shifted to demanding you sit down and clear these specific raids every day if you want a chance in hell to get the new endgame weapon with marginal power increases, and to compensate for how unfun the game has become to play they introduced the ability to make the game play itself which only made farming it worse because now you’re actively encouraged to... play the game so that you can get strong enough to not have to play it anymore. dragalia is even worse because they just hand you buckets of tickets that let you skip having to play the game instead of like..... not making it awful to play the game. i used to joke that “real granblue players don’t play granblue” as a way to convey how the game was perfectly fine with you putting it down for a while if you don’t feel like grinding but apparently cygames took me too literally and now you can literally play granblue without playing it, except we’re in hell so if you want the stuff that makes the game good at playing itself you actually have to sit down and play it every day.

like i said in the other post that’s something that fgo actively tries to avoid and that i want them to keep avoiding, and I think it’s thanks to the stubbornness of someone at either delightworks or type moon that they refuse to let you autobattle. the problem with fgo isn’t that it won’t play itself, in fact its great strength is that it doesn’t need to play itself because mechanically it doesn’t give a shit how slow you are to clear the quest, the problem is that it only has a limited amount of content available at any given time so you’re forced to play the content it tells you to play instead of really being able to go at your own pace. that’s not something that cygames will solve, they’re just going to make the game play itself.

I honestly think the people saying cygames will be a better developer for fgo are just blinded by cygames’ reputation of giving away loads of free rolls all the time, but just because you get to roll a lot doesn’t mean granblue gacha is actually any good. it has its spark system sure but the rates are so dilluted that without those 300 rolls you don’t have a chance in hell of rolling a specific rateup character. people regularly go whole sparks without rolling any of the five characters put on “rateup” at the same time. the reason cygames can get away with giving away all those free rolls in the first place is that rolling the strong characters actually doesn’t make you all that much stronger in granblue unless you roll them multiple times for their weapon, except if theyre a new seasonal limited i guess because then all the new raids will be centered around you having that specific fucking seasonal limited because we’re in hell. fgo gacha feels bad because it’s hard to get stuff but granblue gacha feels bad even if you do get stuff because it’s all so fucking meaningless.

so yeah no i don’t think cygames would be a good developer for fgo i think delightworks should just get its shit together

[bobo-archive]

Oh boy you know what concept of how we’ll get a cliff hanger in chapter 7

Ruby, Blake, and May rushing into Weiss’s room where Weiss is still sitting with Nora who had recently awoken and both of them looked worried.

Ruby - What happened! We have to go!

Weiss - It’s Yang... She called

Blake - What did she say? Is she okay?

Weiss - She is... But...

Nora - Salem has Oscar and Ironwood hacked Penny.

Silence sweeps over the group as Blake’s eyes widen in horror. Ruby’s face doesn’t change and she looks more confused.

Blake - Well we need to get out there and help Atlas, Mantle has the support of the rest of the Happy Huntresses.

Weiss - Right, but what about Nora?

Nora - I feel fine, I should come too!

Weiss - You are not fine, your aura hasn’t even regenerated yet. You still need a few hours at the least, but either way... I don’t know...

May - Your brother is here, isn’t he, Weiss?

Weiss - Yes, but he can’t fight. He wouldn’t be able to even defend himself... But...

Blake - What about your mother? Is she able to fight?

Weiss - Well yes... But she probably isn’t in the condition to...

Blake - Oh.

Moments pass with still no word coming out of Ruby, who hasn’t moved an inch.

Blake - Ruby? Do you have any idea?

Ruby stays silent, Weiss walks in front of Ruby looking concerned.

Weiss - Ruby? Are you okay?

Ruby - Well what /are/ we supposed to do about Nora!

Ruby begins to chuckle ominously.

Ruby - I mean, even if she stays here apparently only the people here know she’s here, and from any wild guess the military would do anything but protect her! Heck maybe Salem will just swoop in and take her too! Or even Ironwood!

The other four glance at each other nervously.

Weiss - Ruby, I’m serious. Are you okay? What’s wrong?

Ruby - Well apparently Oscar is with Salem! Great! She probably wants to learn how to use the lamp! And Penny... If she opens the vault we’re screwed either way it goes! If Atlas is lifted we have no proper protection, and if Salem gets the staff? We’re going down! Yeah, people are dying no matter what we do!

Weiss - Ruby... We’ll figure it out, from what Yang said Penny isn’t even operating right now, rebooting was the guess. The Ace Ops are actually with Yang Ren and Jaune right now...

Ruby - Oh great! Them! So that’s why they took her sword huh! Why didn’t we stop them? Why weren’t they able to stop whatever got Oscar? Why are we screwing up at everything right now?

Blake - Ruby... It’ll be okay...

Ruby - IT’S NOT OKAY THOUGH! DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING OUTSIDE? PEOPLE ARE DYING! THAT’S RIGHT, WE CAME THIS FAR AND PEOPLE ARE DYING! WE AREN’T HEROES! BY THIS POINT WE’RE JUST DELAYING THE INEVIABLE! GREAT, FANTASTIC! GO TEAM! MAYBE SALEM WILL JUST FUCKING COME BY AND PICK ONE OF US UP TOO! BY THIS POINT I DON’T CARE! I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING! I DON’T WANT TO BE APART OF THIS!

Tears have rolled down Ruby’s face by this point as she runs off, not even using her semblance, slamming the door behind her.

E p i s o d e E n d

[vv-ispy]

Oh good point about how much gender roles is a thing in genshin + 100% agreed that being a gacha game really slants the female/male character representation, and also both genders get appealing designs for the sales, etc etc

(there's a conversation to be had there about whether it is representation at all or whether it's viewed as fantasy-not-applicable-to-the-real-world given the characters are more avatars of what they represent than an actual exploration of their jobs/roles but idk enough about that to say) (like Keqing is a hard working, I-will-work-with-the-common-folk myself person, but to me it's written more as a wish fulfillment 'I wish that's how my leader is' or 'yes I would be such sort of a good leader if I was in her position' than an actual exploration of her personality) (no I haven't played the past lanturn rites that expand on her character I'm speaking from her character stories) (also funny that being a gacha game means the woman can't have 'find a good man' explicitly inflicted on them)

I think my thought process is more of liyue society — and characters — still sticks pretty close to chinese values. The emphasis on connections and information to be successful (Ningguang, Yelan?), the emphasis on hard work to be successful (Keqing, Yunjin, Ganyu, Baizhu, Yanfei), the idea of carrying on the family business/tradition (Yunjin, Hutao, Gaming, Chongyun, Xiangling, Xingqiu, Baizhu, Shenhe? Arguable?), how all the characters are either sharp and clever or hardworking or both. Even Yaoyao and how she's characterized, she's meant to be an 'ideal' chinese child, who is sweet, cheerful, outgoing, and carrying, but also well behaved and respectful towards her elders and adults. Beidou and Xinyan are more rebels who refuse to adhere to societal expectations.....which ineviably means getting into trouble with the law

The Adepti are kiiinda exempt from all this due to being demigods/gods. By being demigods they're already above all humans in terms of hierarchy, respect is to be shown to them, etc. But I think you can still point to the fact that out of all the adepti we've seen, the woman are the ones shown to be more maternal (Xianyun, Madame Ping) and elegant, while the men get to be tough and known for their battle powress (Zhongli, Xiao); when Zhongli talks to Gaming's dad about kids, he talks about his experience in terms of 'his close friends who raised kids' and not his own experience. And the fact that as much as the game talks about Liyue moving on from the gods and adepti they still really respect and hang on to them.

So maybe it's less 'liyue has very overt gender roles' and more of 'liyue sticks very closely to chinese tradition' and chinese tradition has gender roles (though parts also differ from western).

In terms of little individual stuffs.....

Xinyan's character story mentions that she's not good at the 'feminine arts' of cooking chores and needlework which. Yeah that's very chinese female gender role. Be good at cooking chores and needle work, marry a man who will provide. The fact it's also pointed out she's tall and not cute, bc yeah chinese beauty standards

Yunjin, who works in a very tradition-filled field, is noted as being very dignfied and elegant which is also very chinese woman's gender role. Though she's also presented as a 'modern' character who wants to move on from the traditions of the adepti, is into rock and roll, and refered to as xianshen/sir

Aforementioned Xianyun is wise and motherly, as a chinese mother should be. Parents know best, sorta idea. The bond she still has with her kids, like still fretting over Ganyu or Shenhe's 'I'll always recognize master'

As far as I'm aware all the Millelith soldier are men, while a lot of the servants are woman (though there are male servants around)

Qiqi looks pretty gender neutral since chinese kids don't have very overt gender presentation

Xingqiu is associated with wuxia which is a fantasy martial arts genre + his desire to be chivarous

Lion dance (what Gaming's wushou xi is based off) is a very male dominated field, vs Yunjin's opera where male + female performers are common

I dunno like the fact that Zhongli is male??? Maybe I'm reading too much into it but it rubs me as 'women can lead but ultimate authority goes to the man in the house' <- household hierarchy is elders first, and among the elders the men first. So mother gets authority over the kids but the father gets authority over the mother

Zhongli in general is kinda the Ideal Man — intellectual, knowledgable in history and tradition and all sorts of subjects, fair and honest, calm confident strong and a good leader

Saying that the game def also plays with tradition, Yunjin and Keqing both try for 'we need to move on from our past and look to the present/future', or Gaming's whole lanturn rite character story is a modern vs traditional family conflict where the family wants the child to stick to the traditions 'for their own good' out of misunderstood love vs the kids who wants to follow their passion and 'fly free' from their overbearing parents which is probably something a lot of asian(specifying due to the underlying culture) kids connect to, and Yes it is very funny to me it takes literal gods interfering to sway Gaming's parents and get them to listen to him that is exactly how it feels with changing chinese parents minds with regards to their kids

Personally I think Scaramouche is the closest-to-canon-trans character in genshin (mostly based off Ashikai's Complete Scaramouche Design Analysis)

Originally had a woman's hime 'princess style' hair cut

Originally wore a veils and hats worn by woman

Likely originall made to be a woman, either as Ei's vessel or (theorized) remade Makoto)

Gets rid of the woman's veil/hat as Wanderer (apparently his collar is still woman's style)

Journey of self discovery

"Fuck you mom"

[endless-vall]

Hot N’ Cold - Thomas x Isobel fanfic

Summary: Isobel learns that waiting for Thomas is much harder than she thought. And exactly when things start falling back into place, something that might just break them apart happens.

Author’s note: Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, you know?

I mean, they finally share a kiss, but god, at what cost? 😉

Previous fanfics in this series -  here, here, here, and here.

Tagging: @drakewalker04​ @ao719 @narrytheworld​ @beardedoafdonutwagon​ @drakewalkerfantasy​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @catlady0911​ @mcchoices @chetachisblog @god-save-the-keen @furiouscloddonutpeanut @writtenbycandy @asprankle @cora-nova @lilyofchoices @paisleylovergirl @dandeservestheworld @mfackenthal @quacksonlover @blackcatkita @annekebbphotography @badchoicesposts @ab1901 @senseofduties @doroshi-desu @romancehereicome @teraizer​ Please let me know if you wanna be tagged in future works for Thomas Mendez x MC/Moty/Perma tag! Let me know if you want to be untagged!

Two weeks passed since Isobel confessed her feelings to Thomas.

Things were... Definitely weird between them. Much more tense and, quite honestly, distant.

It was to be expected, though, but it didn’t make it any easier.

The thing was... Isobel had much bigger problems now.

Much bigger problems named... Guy ledford. And a costudy case.

The second Thomas heard about the costudy trial, he contacted Isobel by himself.

Alma... Isobel thought to herself. She must’ve been the one to tell him. But she couldn’t really blame her either. Was Isobel too proud to call her by herself? Or was she just delaying the ineviable?

She was going to need Thomas for this. Both as her best friend and as a lawyer.

“Izzy, of course I’ll help. It’s not even a question. I have all the files, I just need you to sign them for us to move forward.” 

Isobel sighed soundlessly. “Obviously, you’re right...” She bit her lower lip, thanking god Thomas wasn’t in front of her right now and couldn’t watch her.

“Can I come by around 7? 8-ish pm? I’ll bring everything we need.” Thomas asked.

“I won’t be home. When Vennesa said they were suing me for not being able to provide for my child the first thing I did was get another job. I’ll be working a shift down at the bar. I... could text you the address, though, if you want me to sign them today.” Isobel knew her best option was Thomas. And she wanted his help, obviously, she wasn’t stupid or ungrateful.

But suddenly this whole ‘I’ll wait for you deal’ seemed like a bad idea. Like a nightmare. 

“Great, I’ll be there. See you soon!”

And, as promised, Thomas arrived around 8 PM. It was a week-day so the bar was quite empty, beside the usual costumers that hung around every day.

He looked way overdressed for the occasionwith his polished suit and his tie, but seeing as he came right after leaving his office that was to be expected.

Thomas looked dashing as he approached her with a wary smile, and Isobel gathered whatever strength she had in her to smile back.

She shouldn’t be thinking about it right now, she reminded herself. Her daughter was the most important thing in her life, now more than ever. She shouldn’t be thinking about Thomas.

And somehow, she managed.

“Sign here, here, and lastly... Here.” She signed a bunch of papers, while Thomas explained each one.

Her boss wasn’t around and even if he was, she didn’t have any other costumers to serve, so she could take her time. But it seemed as if she just wanted it to end as soon as possible.

“Will that be all?” She met Thomas’ eyes asking, after finishing the last signature on the papers.

Thomas stuffed his files back in his suitcase. “Well-- Yeah, but-”

“Great, I’ll see you in Monday-” She was about to turn and polish some cups, doing anything to make her look busy when Thomas grabbed her hand.

He somehow managed to have a tender touch, even now.

“Iz... We have to talk-” He doesn’t let go of her hand, and he wears a pleading look in his eyes.

“I mean... We just did,” She plays dumb.

“You know it’s not what I meant. We can’t continue going around acting like this isn’t affecting us.” Thomas is right, and she knows it.

“If you really don’t want to, I’ll understand. But I really think we should. If not for our sake, for the sake of your trial. I want to be able to help you the best way I can... But I’m not sure if we’ll be able to do it if you can barely look me in the eye.” 

Isobel knew that had she told him, Thomas would find her another lawyer, a really good and trustworthy one but... She didn’t want another lawyer. She wanted, and needed... Thomas.

“Fine.” She sighed, a hint of a real smile sparkling in the corner of her lips.

“So just wait for my break and we’ll--” Levi pops from around the bar. 

“I didn’t mean to eavsedrop on you two... But I can take it from here. You should go find yourselves a nice table and get a drink on the house. I’ll close up here.” 

Isobel blinks at him, before regaining her composure. “Thank you Levi.” She genuienly means that.

“Anytime,” He winks back at her. 

Is that jealousy she spots in the corner of her eye? In the way Thomas frowns at Levi and soundlessly huffs?

Isobel takes half a bottle of wine, and leads Thomas to a secluded corner.

She pours them two glasses, before placing the bottle back on the table.

"So,” She looks up at Thomas, taking a sip of her drink.

“So...” He taps his fingers on the table, almost as if he’s anxious.

Isobel would be lying if she said she didn’t avoid him these past two weeks, but she also missed him tremendously.

“Can we just-” 

“Can I say-”

They both speak up at the same time, before shaking their heads and chuckling.

“You go first.” Thomas, always the gentleman.

“Okay.” Isobel nods, gathering her thoughts. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but i’m really trying here. I know I said I was fine with waiting, but honestly it’s been hard on me. But do you know what’s the hardest part of all of this?” She points between them in a circular motion.

“What?”

“Missing my best friend.” She admits.

“Izz...” Thomas lays his hand on top of hers, and Isobel almost flinches away. Almost.

He doesn’t notice, and she’s glad.

“I know I can’t un-ring the bell. And neither do I want to. But I do need you in my life. These past two weeks were hard enough with Guy and Vennesa at my neck... But without you in them, It’s been almost unbearable.” She speaks, feeling a weight being lifted off her chest.

“Izzy, you know I’m always here for you. I assumed you needed space, after I tried to reach out to you and you didn’t respond. I’m such an idiot, I should’ve known--” She cuts him off before he can finish.

“No, you’re right, I needed space. Or at least I thought I needed. But the important thing is that you’re here now.” Isobel finishes her drink and pours herself another. Thomas follows her lead and downs the rest of his drink, before pouring himself a second glass too.

They finish the rest of the bottle, having a small-talk and catching up on each other’s lives.

“Heyyy,” Thomas might be a little tipsy right now, but he’s definitely not drunk, is he?

“It’s our song!” He pulls Isobel after him before she can give it any more thought.

An old pop song bursts through the bar’s loud speakers and the few people that are still there gather on the importu dance floor. Thomas and Isobel join them, merging into the crowd.

God, Isobel can barely remember the last time she danced. And by that she means the last time she went out dancing, with friends or at least people in her own age.

Has it really been that long?

She definitely missed it.

The songs ends all too soon, but they’re having so much fun and things are finally not as awkward between them, that Isobel grabs Thomas’ hand and encourages him to keep dancing.

He gladly oblies, leading her into a twirl before pulling her back into her position. Or maybe... Pulling her a bit closer than she was before?

They dances to a few more songs before the audio changes into a romantic, slow song and before Isobel can politely excuse herself out, she finds herself too lost in the moment to do so.

And Thomas is too...

She wraps her hands around his neck, leaving the rest of the world behind her.

His hands find their way to her waist, and he pulls her tightly against him.

Isobel raises her eyes to meet him. He looks at her with desire, his eyes dark and wanting.

“Maybe we should-” The last ounce of sense leaves her body as Thomas’ lips crash against her own, silencing her mid-sentence.

His lips are warm, and confident. She wanted this moment to last forever. His hands travel up to her hair, pulling lightly and sending tingles down her spine.

He felt as if his whole body was on fire, every inch of him begging him to have her, to love her, to--

No. He couldn’t.

And just like that, they broke apart, both panting for air and confused.

His eyes widened as he realized what he did, how he ruined it, all over again.

“I’m so sorry,” He grabs ahold of his suitcase and turns to leave.

“Thomas-” Isobel tries to reach for him but it’s already too late. He’s too far gone.

“I should go-” She hears him mumbling before he disappears through the bar doors.

[electronicneutrino]

like sometimes i just absolutely hATE being chinese like I like math oh yeah that’s such a hinese thing all chinese people like math nO I LIKE MATH I’M NOT ADHERING TO STEROTYPES I JUST LIKE MATH LET ME LIKE MY MATH IN PEACE WITHOUT IT BEING DISMISSED AS BC I’M CHINESE FUN FACT I AM HELLA STRUGGLING IN ADVANCED MATH AND AM STILL IN IT NOT BC I’M CHINESE WHICH MEANS I’M AN AUTOMATIC MATH GENIUS BUT BC I JUST LIKE MATH !!!! and for some reason 90% of all the chinese people I’ve met are hella obnoxious and nanoying and all ‘china is the best chinese culture is the best’ like yeah china has a cool thing or two but you can’t just decide you’re The Best and everyone must be Lik eYou to be good like why are so many chinese people like that???? Just mentions something they disapprove about cananda mEANWHILE IN CHINA THEY DO THIS WHICHIS OBVIOUSLY BETTER if you like China so much then why didn’t you stay!! oh China has the Best and Riches history yeah cool because that’s not a subjective topic At aLL and then just the entire CULTURE OF YOU GOTTA BE SELF SUFFICIENT gotta love your family don’t inconvience others so anyway I’m a horrible daughter bc I don’t like my parents bc just some of the opinions they have and things they do mONM DO YOU EVER HEAR YOURSELF Ever and not to mention all the casual racism on the internet which like sometimes I agree with bc chinese people od kinda really suck??? but then there’s the completely unfounded stuff and it’s just...coool.....just looking to hate us I see and in th e world ‘speak english ‘well learn chinese if you’re gonna complain about us speaking other languages I ain’t here complaining about anyone conversing in korean or arabic or whatnot and d a  t e   ho t  chi es e women thanks I love being seen as an object :)))) which I mean yEAH that does apply to all women but hten you see targeted race ads and it’s just....yikes....thanks.... two seconds later someone’s comment on a youtube video about how beautiful chinese people are and it’s like I really hope thats a genuine comment and not just saying it for brownie points......bc I know we’re immigrants and not liked.... and there’s like this whole collective chinese identity of working hard to do well in life and ‘that’s the chinese culture’ and stuff and it just grinds my nerves so much ‘I got here in life bc I studied hard and worked hard and if you study hard you will be successful’ meanwhile i’m staring into the void at my deprssion like oh yeah I’m totally chosing to do nothing and cry instead of my homework that’s sensible by the way if you talk about mental illness you’re lazy and crazy and weak just ignore it how dare you want to die after all everyone’s done for you thanks I never realized before guess that pep talk will make me Stop Wanting to Die Immediately instead of feeling worse bc yEAH THIS IS TOTALLY MY CHOICE TO BE MISERABLE and do I have an identity as a canada born chinese almost every single chinese person ive met is either really ABOUT their ‘I’m china chinese’ identity and ‘oh I bet you’re born in canada so youcan’t even speak chinese and now i’m here to teach you the ways of Being CHinese’ or ‘I’m Canada Chinese i’m better than everyone else bc I can speak chinese and know things about chinese let’s talk about that so no one else can understand to show how Superior we are’ and it’s just. cool and I get that sometimes I do it too but I really try not to but also there’s interesting stuff and....and then sometimes I just hate being chinese so much bc almost every chines person ive met is all ‘we’re superior’ or something but then there’s no escaping being chinese there’s no escaping not belonging there’s no escaping being in that awkward area between being Chinese and Not it’s not like I can just pass off as a european and I bet so many poc deal with that feeling but like.........i don’t like it I just end up hating myself no matter what either bc i’m chinese and chinese people suck apart from like. a few, or I’m trying too hard to be nonchinese like just throwing away your roots huh like I just. want to be nice to everyone except with chinese people its almost ineviable ‘wow you’re chinese too we can be our own chinese subgroup’ and No I am not here for that I’m staying far far away from that like sorry but. i really don’t want to be chinese

[sonyeondone]

Dichotomy

SERIES

pt1 // pt 2

Characters: Min Yoongi x Female Reader A/N: I want this series to be real angsty. So there’s that. I also don’t know how this is going to turn out because this has no forethought, I just had something I wanted to do and I’m building the whole fic around that secret concept. Third person. Hope you enjoy! I like to think that Yoongi gets really self conscious about how good of a partner he is, because I can totally see it happening. Also I like to put myself in pain

Theirs was a happiness that would seemingly last until the end of days

64 Days

“I gotta go through it again.” The pant came through tight teeth and a deep frown. Dark eyes peered through sweat-laden hair with a frustration about them. The words had come up Yoongi’s throat feeling like a growl, a sound not missed by Hoseok’s keen ears.

“You did pretty well that time, I think you should take a break. We’ve been over it a few times now,” they were words of care, as Hoseok patted Yoongi on the shoulder and led him to the wall, where their bags and belongings sat in waiting till the end of their two man rehearsal, one Yoongi had specifically requested. The choreography, while usually something he got after a steady amount of time and practice, this time was testing his patience. 

“I know, but this dance is doing my head in! It’s the transition from those two moves that stuffs me up every time,” Yoongi sighed as his fingers weaved through his hair and he pushed it back, before reaching down and taking his water bottle. “Thanks for helping me though, Hoseok-ah,” he was sure to add, not letting his deep appreciation go unspoken.

“You’re always welcome, Yoongi-hyung,” a signature smile stretched across Hoseok’s face, tainted with the exhaustion of a hard day’s practice, as he lent back with his hands on his hips and his lungs greedily took in all the air they could get. 

Shaking fingers took Yoongi’s phone, lazily and habitually pressing the homescreen button, with his back pressed to the wall and seated firmly on the ground. Unsteady eyes took in a number but an overworked brain took some time in comprehending what the numbers meant. The time was 10:26pm.

“Shit,” Yoongi sighed,closing his eyes and letting his head fall back to meet the wall.

“It’s late?” 

“Very. I told her I’d be home 40 minutes ago.”

“I’m sure she won’t mind, she’s pretty understanding. Besides, you know how much she adores knowing you work hard, she thinks it’s an admirable trait in you. You didn’t see the way she smiled when she came to watch us practice last time, and we were all taking a rest except you. I told her, I said, ‘Hyung likes to work hard because he secretly hates the thought of letting us down, even though he never could’. Her reaction was so cute, and her eyes were sparkling!” While the words were given with the intention of delivering comfort, they only settled a deeper ache in Yoongi’s chest.  It was all true, she was full of patience and understanding. Somehow, she never ran out of the stuff. Even if he seemed to be always taking it, selfishly, but never without shame. There were nights where she’d ask if he’d be home, and he’d promised her more than enough times he would be. Sometimes, he’d keep that promise. Yet, more often than not, such promises were marred with his absence, leaving her all alone once again, dining in silence, watching tv with the shadows on the wall and no Yoongi to see the smiles she’d give at humorous moments.

As if by miracle, it never seemed to upset her. She truly understood. Yoongi had never missed important dates, and if she said she would need him home at a certain time for matters of importance (a request she rarely made of him), he made the utmost effort to get there on that time, or as close as his work life would allow him. Nights spent without him were a common occurrence, and one she found no ill feelings in.  Yoongi was living his dream, working hard, pouring his heart and soul into making his family proud. Making her proud. It was always enough to make the lonely nights a little less lonelier. 

“I’ll be back in a short while,” Yoongi called to Hoseok as he waved his phone, an indication he would be making a quick call. He was in the process of getting up as he did so, and his feet shuffled him out of the rehearsal room and into the hallway. 

The buzzing in his ear of his call waiting to be picked up might have been the loudest thing he heard, had it not been for the beating of his heart. The nerves were hard to swallow, no matter how many times he did so. He felt every beat in his throat, knowing (or rather, fearing, but mistaking it for the ineviable) that one day he would push it too far, and she wouldn’t pick up. One day her patience would be all used up, as if it were possible, and he would come home to empty drawers where traces of her had once been. Would it be tonight? The more the phone rang, the more his anxious demeanor grew.

“Hey!” As cheery as ever, his beating heart was eased in the slightest at the sound of her voice.

“Hey...I’m-”

“Nope.”

Yoongi frowned slightly, her short quip interrupting his train of thought. Before he could work up a response, she made an addition to her one worded reply.

“You aren’t sorry, I won’t allow it. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

He could practically see the smile on her face, soft and beautiful and full of a love that he may not have ever understood, if he had never felt the exact same for her. He wondered how she could love him so much when he was always letting her down. He knew she saw it far from that, and that she was never disappointed. He knew had the roles been reversed he would surely feel the same, and would love her regardless.  What could Yoongi say? He was an insecure lover, only made shy by the intensity of their love, and how much he needed it.

“I am though. I said I’d be home but I wasn’t. Again,” he replied, his eyes glazing over the hallway but taking nothing of the familiar surroundings in. In the background of their call was noise, lots of it. She seemed to be on the move, maybe cleaning the apartment. 

“I know,” she started, but failed to finish. There was a lingering silence, as he sucked in a sharp breath. It wasn’t until he heard a faint ‘ding!’ in the background that he frowned. Was she in an elevator?

His heart seemed to kick back into gear, picking up the pace. “Are you in the lobby elevator?”

“No, why?”

“Yeah you are, I heard the stopping noise. What are you up to?” While his words were masked with a playful tone, they were ones of worry. Only in times like these, where his promises of being in her company were left to ashes, did he feel like this about her. In normal circumstances, he knew well enough she would always be beside him. She’d made it quite clear, every day, in the little things like her kisses and her insults that were laced with adoration. In these circumstances, the weight of never feeling good enough, never being what he thought she needed, the pressure of being an idol and a lover, it all got to him. He worked hard to make her proud and in the process, made her alone. It was a cycle that sometimes felt suffocating, almost as much as his self loathing had years prior. Maybe his anxiousness in the matter was a manifestation of that loathing, being fed by the love he had for her.

“I’m just...visiting a friend,” she chimed, her smile never falling. Her eyes scanned over the elevator interior, and her own anxiousness welled up inside. It was an anxiousness of far milder degree, a desire to be out of the elevator already. 

While she always had some inkling of the fear he held in losing her, he had only made it clear once. Once she’d failed to pick up, within the span of a day. He had stayed late at work and gone back to the dorm with the boys, his worry only being slightly aroused by her inability to answer her phone that night, thinking maybe she’d gone to sleep.  She’d lost her charger that day, so his calls went unnoticed, as she grumpily looked around the apartment, grumbling how there were things she’d rather be doing with her day off work.  In the afternoon, the day after he’d slept at his old dorm, he had come bursting into the apartment, calling her name. When she’d turned to him, in nothing but pajama shorts and a tank top, he broke down immediately, striding over to her and taking her in his arms, gently and quietly sobbing, whispering words that sounded irritated in nature, but held the depth of his worst nightmares. ‘I thought maybe you’d gotten sick of waiting for me and left. How could you not pick up the damn phone. I’m glad you’re at least alright. You worry me too much. Why must you insist on getting on my nerves?’

That was the day she’d learnt how much the thought of being without her terrified him.

“Oh okay, are you going to have dinner there?”

She did not answer. She simply held the phone to her ear, awaiting what would come next.

Yoongi heard a rumbling, toward the end of the hall, recognizing it to be where the stairs were, as well as...

The elevator doors opened, as if to be as cinematic as possible, the moment dipped in the cliche of a rom-com come to life. She was smiling toward him, one arm huddling containers fogged by steam from a warm- and delicious- heat source, and the other pressing her phone to her ear.

“I thought you and Hoseok would be getting hungry, so I thought instead of having you come home to me, I’d come here. To you.”

For moment, all his insecurity in his ability to be everything she deserved was forgotten like the flick of the switch, and all he could think about was how beautiful she was. How beautiful her soul was, her way of thinking, her kindness. How adorable she was standing in a coat and a scarf, cradling her own hard work all bundled up to share with not only him, but Hoseok as well, her affections and tending for others going above and beyond.

Before hanging up to help her take the food in to the rehearsal room, Yoongi chuckled, and shook his head grinning in a combination of disbelief that someone like her could exist, and the realization that it was all too predictable of her, and he should have expected nothing less.  He could not love her more than he did. He could not love anything more than he did her.

“You’re so thoughtful. God, I love you.”