#yeah this is because i've been thinking about the mars house again

[mx-myth]

Does anyone know of some like really good and in-depth linguistics/language documentaries? I'll take papers too but I'm in a mood to be obsessive over niche(?) knowledge

[martian-astro10]

Astrology observations- Part 1 (use whole signs)

🍃 Venus in 1st house people have THICK hair (I have Venus in 1st and 3 of my friends have it as well, and we all have really voluminous frizzy/curly hair, that's hard to manage)

🍃 Saturn in 3rd can mean that you'll start college later than your peers ( I have it and my student visa got rejected 3 times😭😭 and by the time I started college, all my friends were already in their third year)

🍃 Saturn in 3rd can also mean that you start dating later than your friends or it could mean that you just aren't THAT interested in casual relationships, you probably want something serious.

🍃 Mars in 1st, if in friendly signs, can mean having a really high sex drive, sexual attraction is very important for you in a relationship. (I have it, Mars in 1st in Aries, and it's true for me, I also have rahu there so I play a lot of sports to control this, like I really exhaust myself to the bone, meditating also helps. hypersexuality is not good, so just make sure that you don't go overboard)

🍃 Moon trine Saturn people are really respectful towards women. They were either raised by a single mother or their mother made the important decisions in the family. I have it but I also know a guy who has this and he's just the sweetest and even though his mom is a sahm and his dad earns, his mom is the more powerful one��, like his dad just earns and gives all the money to his mom. It's really cute.

🍃 Venus square midheaven people were often bullied for their appearance when young, from what I've noticed, and that's why they grow up to become people pleasers, because they don't want to be the "outcast" again. A lot of self esteem issues as well. You guys are the type to wake your partner up in the middle of the night and ask them "do you love me" and then they probably reply with "we've been married for 10 years"

🍃 Neptune square ascendant is that "HOW DO I REALLY LOOK" placement, they're the ones who get really frustrated because they look different in the mirror and camera. (I have this 🥲👍) It sucks, also you guys are obsessed with personality tests

🍃 Venus in 1st house people care a lot about a person's appearance in a relationship, it's not wrong but just make sure that it's not the ONLY thing that you focus on. I also think that it sort of stems from your own insecurity, like you guys think that you aren't attractive so being with a conventionally attractive person makes up for it, IN YOUR MIND, so work on increasing your self confidence

🍃 Moon opposite Venus people want to be affectionate but the fear of getting rejected stops them from doing so. ( I have this and sometimes I get this urge to just hug or kiss someone, like on the cheeks, friend, family, romantic partner, but then I assume that the person won't like it, so i give up. Here's the thing, ASK, this is what I started doing, now whenever I feel like that, i just go- can i kiss you on the cheek, if the person says yes, I do it, and back off if they say no) oppositions and squares are not bad aspects okay, you just need to learn how to deal with them, so yeah, ask people, don't be scared, they won't bite, some of them might, but don't hold yourself back because of them 😘🫂

🍃 Sun square Pluto women, are men scared of you?? (If yes, then, AS THEY FUCKING SHOULD). I have this and i think men find me intimidating (I'm the least intimidating person EVER), but also, I feel like, this makes you kind of unable to deal with men, you always wanna be in control, a lot of trust issues, you also think all men are shit (WHICH THEY ARE) but also you guys need to realise that some men are actually......kinda.....good🤢, almost threw up while writing this, ewwww, actually you know what, keep on having trust issues, BE IN CONTROL

[astroismypassion]

(Another one) you can ignore this

but finally I've figured out through synastry overlays as to why and to finally get over this guy that's been in the back of my head for 9 years straight. I've always been obsessed w him but never revealed it. As a house person with 8h synastry, for instance his Scorpio moon mercury Venus in my 8h (I have no 8h placements) w his Scorpio sun conjunct my Venus & mars in 9h, I had lost it all 9 years ago and have not been able to forget him completely because he liked me 9 years ago. I was too afraid back then so I just left him there after he tried w me over and over again, and we never got serious just talking on and off for over a year haha . Do u find 8h 12h synastry common at all in long-term relationships? Cause I've admitted to myself I'll never get him out of my head completely, he was my first love. And I have this special feelings bout him, like he's like a long lost friend. I still adore him to these days. It feels like I've known him in maybe another life. I just hope I’ll never come across w someone whom I have 8h/12h synastry with again. I also have 8h/12h w my mom too it’s defo meant to be and intense we’ve been thru it all 😭 finally, we’re good. Easy on each other very close and loving, we tell each others everything after all the ups and downs in our relationships.

Hey again,

Do u find 8h 12h synastry common at all in long-term relationships?

Oh yes of course! I’ve been doing clients Synastry chart interpretations for years now, 8th house is so so common in long-term connection or for people who are already thinking about marriage with the person. Yes it’s does happen often. 12th house, I usually find like a single or two 12th house overlays, like Mars in the 12th or Venus in the 12th, usually there is no contact though at some point or long distance. But yeah even 12th house synastry I found in long-term connections, partnerships.

It was interesting for me to read, you rejected the person over and over again, because of how afraid you were. I guess this also show how prepared to be vulnerable you were at the time, probably was scared to get disappointed or hurt and rather passed the opportunity. And I get that. I’m the house person in 8th house Synastry, but I was the one doing the chasing and basically tried to talk to the person 2 times, but they continue to reject me. For me, it was always I kind of knew or was more consciously aware than him that he will regret it. But not in a spiteful way, not that. But more so, “if you let me go right now, you will already start missing the connection in 2,3 years after not being actively in your life”. But we got to remember here that people have their own karma to resolve first and also evolve, so sometimes in these connection is not anything personal at all, it’s not that they directly don’t want you, it’s more so they feel like there is a set of things in life they need to work on individually.

@astroismypassion

[aurorawest]

I finished The Mars House last night and have been trying to gather my thoughts beyond ADJFAWEHDHA; and AHHHHHHHH. Let's see how this works out.

In a lot of ways this is a pretty typical Natasha Pulley book, which makes you love complicated people who have done bad things, possibly for good reasons and possibly not. The love interest is to all appearances a xenophobic nationalist, but you better believe I loved Gale pretty much immediately.

In other ways this book is different from her past work—obviously there's the far future setting, but it's pretty clear that Pulley wanted to Say Something about gender with The Mars House. This book is a response to and shots fired at the terf ideology and it is not at all subtle about it. And of course, it's a Natasha Pulley book, so there's still empathy for the far-future Martian terfs.

So I would definitely call it the most...political? of her books, which for me was not at all a bad thing. It has everything that I love about Pulley novels—her gorgeous use of language, her ability to wring beauty and pathos out of the small and ordinary, the gay pining, the morally dubious main characters. I've seen reviews say both that the science is ridiculous and that the book is hard science fiction, and I would come down on the side of the science probably being a bit ridiculous, since it's definitely not hard science fiction (lol at the reviewers who are throwing that term around and not knowing what it means). I actually have no idea if the science is plausible or not and I honestly don't care, because that's really not the point of the book.

Anyway, now I'm just going to list things. Doing a read more for spoilers! And I'm not joking, I'm going to spoil the whole book under here so really, if you haven't read it and you care about that, don't keep reading.

The worldbuilding was so good. I mean, this is one of Pulley's strengths, but I had wondered how it would stack up in a sci fi novel versus her historical fiction. As usual, everything was so visceral and textured. Tharsis and Songshu feel like real places I could visit.

THE MAMMOTHS OMG OMG. When they decided to ask the mammoths for help pulling up the gravity train, I almost jumped up from the couch yelling (I would have, but I couldn't disturb my cat who was on my legs). The entire idea of communicating with mammoths and studying mammoth society almost made me cry. Having spent even a tiny amount of time around elephants in the wild, all of that rang 100% plausible. And true in my heart.

I need a sequel where River and January go to Alpha Centauri to talk to the aliens that the Penglai mission is going to find there.

I'M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE ENTIRE BOOK SO DON'T READ ANYMORE IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT.

Speaking of River, yeah I guessed that "Aubrey" was actually River. The clues were well done and I felt smug when I was right.

But!! I actually thought River knew more than they did! A literal chill went up my back when River revealed they had NO IDEA AUBREY WAS LITERALLY IN THEIR ROOM WITH THEM.

The scene in River's bathtub had me screaming crying throwing up.

Is Natasha Pulley working through something re: waifish orphans? I knew Yuan was going to end up being adopted into House Song within pages of their (his?) introduction.

I love that we never find out if River is biologically male or female. I love that January says it doesn't matter and he means that and never tells us.

Speaking of gender abolition, can I have that please for myself.

All of the animals were, as always, a delight. Shoutout to the puffin at the beginning who we never see again, as well as Shuppiluliuma in her basket.

The ancient Mediterranean references littered through this book (see above) were also a delight.

When you think about it, both of Aubrey's consorts fell for River, and that's funny.

The flashes of love between River and Aubrey were devastating.

The haptic implants are a dystopian nightmare and absolutely a realistic prediction of where we're going to end up.

Mori and Daughter!!

[between-a-ship-and-a-hard-place]

8 Shows To Know Me

Thank you @sparkagrace for the tag! I had to spend some time thinking about this one. (I'm honestly terrible at finishing TV shows even if I like them.). But here in no particular order:

Veronica Mars

Little tween me loved this show! When the first season was airing here I used to biked over to my grandparents house on Tuesday evenings because we didn't have that TV channel at home. Maybe the first time I can recall really being a Fan of something, as in like going on The Internet and looking for more content and saving wallpapers and stuff.

(and then they made a new season and ruined everything...)

NCIS

This was a staple in my house when I was like 12-15. Me and my dad and my brother used to watch this (along with a bunch of other shows in similar genres: Criminal Minds, CSI, the Mentalist, etc.)

Good Omens

Love it, ship it, can't wait for season 2!

Normal People

Sorry Tej for copying your answer but: oh god yes! I finished it and immediately wanted to start from ep1 again. I actually finally read the book recently and I kept hearing Connell's lines in Paul Mescal's voice. The show and book complement each other so well.

Skam

The OG Norwegian one of course. I feel like the gif explains it all, but the other seasons are also very good.

Young Royals

Which is basically Skam meets Red, White and Royal Blue and it's amazing of course. Also as a Swedish-speaking person it's kind of hilarious to observe the English fandom for this show and sees people analyze scenes and lines.

Foyle's War (and Midsomer Murders and Agatha Christie's Marple)

Another nostalgia trip. Okay I realize it's sort of cheating to lump these together but you get the picture: brutal murders in cozy British settings. This was a summer holiday tradition, there was always a season of one of these on in the evenings.

But if I had to pick one it would be Foyle's War because I think the storyline outside the whodunnit is most compelling in this one. (Also if anyone knows where you can stream this nowadays, let me know!)

Sherlock

Yeah what can I say I enjoyed it. I was not on tumblr during Those Times but it's the one of the holy trinity that I've actually watched all of.

Okay, that's it, you're welcome to judge my tastes and personality now.

Tagging: @booksandabeer @dontcallmebree @its-tortle @frozen-fountain @burberrycanary (obvs no pressure and maybe you've already done this, I haven't been around much in a little bit)

[thebadsocialworker]

7. Yes

Today I had a meeting with someone in prison. They're on the other side of the country in some shitty city so it was via "the internet". Our meeting today was mostly about paperwork. He was completing a questionnaire for my records.

"AJ, the next question is, have you ever felt like your family members or the adults around you didn't love you or thought you were special."

He stared at the corner of the screen, it was silent for about 6 seconds.

"...Yes."

We continued, but this sat with me all day. This man's life has been marred with adversity in almost every way you could think of. He's about 45. There was something about seeing a grown man that's been shot, shot other people, and has seen other people get shot, confirm that he did not feel loved or special when he was a child. He was sitting in a typical prison room with stale cement brick in an ugly beige color and thick windows of glass behind him. I wonder about all the times he felt like that as a child and how many times he's thought of it since then.

This came up again when I visited someone else. We talked about their housing options and they said "[]...yeah so they accept criminals and shit so that's good for me." I asked them, "Is that what you think you are ? A criminal ?" They explained that they didn't, but that they have to think about it all of the time in relation to where they go during the day. They then grabbed something to show me. It was a folder of certificates and a card their last facility gave them when they moved. Inside of the card were many people remarking on how funny they are. They said they keep this under their mattress and they pull it out sometimes to look at. Inside I thought, you probably think of yourself as a bad person so you look at this to feel differently.

While I was driving in the snow I thought about how people complain sometimes about prison sentences being too light. Sometimes they're insultingly light. Other times, it's a substantial amount of time. Beyond their release, they suffer. Before any of this happened, they suffered. Many people regret victimizing someone and they pay for it everyday. They don't regret it because they're paying for it, but rather it's a stain on their self-perception. People change. People learn. People mature. People get sober and medicated. They're proud of the progress they've made but it's always followed with a "I know I did _____ but..." They never feel like they deserve to fully acknowledge they're a different person. They feel haunted by the negative voices in their heads that remind them, they beat their wife once, they used to be a skinhead, they robbed someone to buy drugs, etc.

I've done some shit, but never anything I couldn't have fixed. I can't imagine what it's like-- one day you've never been to prison, and then one day it has been 20 years later, you're homeless, in and out of jail for not paying child support, and every person you meet will generally find out you did something totally fucked up-- that you wouldn't do now, but you never feel like anyone believes you. That perpetual feeling as if you have to prove to your stupid fucking community that you deserve to be in it. They're forever shackled.

If you've ever done some shit you wouldn't do now, that's fuckin awesome. You're allowed to change and to admit you would do better now. This obviously applies to me too. My people never know I say things to them that I know I should say to myself, but I don't. It's kind of joke with myself and whatever powers that may be (hail Satan). Don't let a lack of self-forgiveness wear you out. We're all little devils sometimes.

-thebadsocialworker

[wabisabireiki]

Venus RX in Leo ♌️

( What I thought she would look like)

This one is cruntchy, like a thousand little sharp rocks caught in your shoes, just cutting the shit our of your feet, and you're too busy just trying to survive running away from the actual lion energy that has been set free upon you, to undo you. Yeah, it's like that for some of us. The truth is you've probably been getting little heads up's to this cosmic moment for months now and every time you looked up the lion was just too far away to be worried about and in this day in age,

" WHO GOT TIME FOR DAT".

It's us and nothing but time now, till Sept. 3rd.

For me, I am still tip toeing around what the Venus RX in Leo means and am doing my best now to unravel the thread as the day has been full of dotting i's and crossing t's.

My transit falls in the first house- self, personality, appearance and ego. I think if I had been paying more attention my cycle to want to give more attention to creating and maintaining an alter ego would fall in the month of Leo szn.

Leo rules my first house. Of course the natal ruler of the 1st house is Aries, the pioneer of the zodiac. Aries is also my Midheaven. Which brings us to where my Venus lies as well, in Aries.

For this retrograde to happen in my first house indicates at the retrograde, the review in question is in the house of- my SELF.

With it in Leo, during Leo szn indicates to me I have nowhere to hide. It will be on blast. The Jump from Leo, my house ruler to Aries the Natal house ruler,* also my Midheaven ( the way I project my public self) in Aries, will help me to bridge the gap.

Aries here ( and anywhere) is headstrong, action oriented, does first, thinks later, asks for forgiveness not permission. Goes with gut feelings to jump into the doing, moving, tasking, next step. It feels where it wants to move and does not stop to postulate. If I keep following my hunch that the signs are the fem aspect of the planet- Mars is the masculine counterpart. God of War, strategy and domination. Viewing Aries as feminine reminds me of Athena, the great huntress. Who as all hunters do, must integrate with their instincts and immerse themselves in their environments as ripples in the water.

Leo shadow is egotistical, obsessed with appearance. And although it would select quality over quantity the ego here gets hijacked in the darkness. Authenticity is forsaken for perfection and performance.

Performance is all that matters in Leo's shadow.

Here I am being called to strip away the performance and DO, ACT, BE, without editing.

If I add the Venus in RX to this ,again my Venus in Aries indicates that action over the pattern on overthinking, overediting, overbearing tendency to restrain my expression because it is not perfect, will have to under go a transformation. Not surprising, but very uncomfortable.

There is yet still more threads here, as I've become aware of other aspects of Venus that just aren't to par in my life. Intimacy of all kinds, self expression of all kinds, a robust lust for life fizzling out. Narratives that bare review and revision are on the horizon.

And I know I am going to change again, again, again.

( Vs. What she actually looks like)

[thebendsbyradiohead]

For the ask thing, something(s) I've always wondered

which country is better for living in general that you've lived in

which country do you prefer to live in

das all i got for now

oh wow that's a great question!

short answer for both: netherlands

long answer: it's complicated and it's getting more so as time goes on and i am faced with more "adult" responsibilities. there are parts of all countries i've lived in that i liked and parts that i hated (except for the US, i genuinely hated that place it was hell on earth)

i think out of all of them (netherlands, macedonia and the US), i would say the netherlands is the best for living in general altho honestly, the quality of life is starting to waver with this inflation and cost of living crisis lol and there is pros and cons to everything. i like the fact that they offer social benefits like healthcare allowance if you don't earn enough to cover your monthly premium, but it pisses me off to no end that they have privatized healthcare & are hellbent on making it even worse. i love that it has gorgeous parks and infrastructure that allows you to get comfortably to places without a car but i hate the fact that i pay almost 40% income tax for that while giant corporations like booking and IKEA pay jack shit. i love that (rotterdam at least) is so international and diverse but i don't like the fact that most of the dutch usually keep to themselves and rarely extend the grace of a deeper relationship or community towards the immigrants. i love love love the attention to and investing in the culture like museums festivals etc but i hate the fact that it's almost nigh impossible to find a place to live or buy a house without paying off a loan for the rest of your life. i love the freedom and rights afforded to the lgbtq community and the progressive approach to drug criminalization, but i hate how for all their sticking to the rules and laws with bullshit bureaucracy they can just say "yeah, nothing we can do" when they find lead pipes in my house which are supposed to be illegal. there is a combination of stubborn rule obedience and extreme individual responsibility associated with their culture but also neoliberalism govt policies which is starting to really frustrate me because i guess i expected more (or idealized the west too much lmao).

that being said, you couldn't pay me to go back to macedonia. i spent a year there during the first covid lockdown and i for sure would not go back to live permanently there again. my bulgarian friend who also lived in the nl for a long while went back and i honestly can't imagine how lol. i like the sense of community but not at the expense of being stripped off any socially undesirable parts of you (or maybe i was just surrounded by shitty people who knows). i like the laissez-faire attitude in our culture but not in the governments. i love the food and the weather, but it's not worth the horrible unemployment & toxic air in winter. i hate the religiousness, the conservativism, the judgement, the resistance to any kind of progress, the in-group mentality, all of it. for all my struggles in the NL, i wouldn't trade them for a life in macedonia and i honestly think if i stayed i wouldn't be here typing this. not that i'm not depressed here and life is happy go lucky 100% but now that i've experienced better & know another side of life i can't go back to before but explaining this is difficult if you haven't been thru it bc people just assume you're an uppity diaspora person. i love my country i just wished it loved me back

i honestly can't think of a single positive thing about living in the US but that's also marred by the fact i was a broke exchange student in san francisco with 4 crazy roommates (well 5 but the fifth one was a scottish marxist exchange student who i loved so i don't count her) in a flea-infested hovel. i adored NYC but i was there for a week so i can't say i experienced living there.

notable mention: i loved staying in oxford when i was 16 because it was so walkable and public transport was so accessible i would literally just wander around on my own reading but it was a one month staying with a host family type of situation and also 10 years ago, before they started fully collapsing so that's probably just nostalgia speaking

[doubleddenden]

I posted 12,226 times in 2022

That's 13 more posts than 2021!

2,292 posts created (19%)

9,934 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@frivilosity

@trailblazes

@youseiaoi

@daefromjay6

@importedglue891

I tagged 3,127 of my posts in 2022

#toonami - 2,145 posts

#one piece - 521 posts

#nart - 321 posts

#assassination classroom - 243 posts

#lupin the 3rd part 6 - 214 posts

#made in abyss - 158 posts

#shenmue - 121 posts

#pokemon - 119 posts

#yashahime - 95 posts

#attack on titan - 76 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#especially assholes who want to take your very trivial and non important/impactful opinion and want to use it as an excuse to virtue signal

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Most Pokémon NPCs: oh, you took a step! What a big boy! Here's 5 Max Revives! Here's a free heal! You're so cool and great! You're the greatest trainer ever! Here's a TM! You're doing so good! You want my house? You want this Pokémon I've had since I was a kid? God, You're so great!

Cylene: pull your weight or die in the wild. Your choice. Oh, you caught some powerful Pokémon and nearly died several times over to do it? Great, here's a recipe. Now get back to work, asshole

492 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#4

I knew Pokémon would have a tumblr sexyman in Scarlet and Violet, and I really thought it would be this

Or this

But of course, PokeTumblr's new babygirl is this sad man

See the full post

846 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

#3

A quick look at the timeline since we last checked in

Sonic Frontiers has a song by ONE OK GO and one version says "Fuck the pain away"

Disney proves it truly listens to what fans do not want by making live action Pinocchio, Little Mermaid, and Mufasa, which is a prequel to the much behated live action Lion King

HBO Max nuked a bunch of its animated shows for tax write offs

Uncle Grandpa almost survived with one episode called "Fleas Help Us" before being deleted

Summer Camp Island literally had a whole season ready

WB canned a completed Batgirl movie after spending $98 million. For tax write offs.

FBI raided Trump's Florida home and found hundreds of stolen top secret files, and one includes nuclear defense details on a foreign nation. Yeah he's in very hot shit

Biden administration opens the path for forgiveness for $10k-$20k of student loans, MS decides to tax anyone that gets it

When the Republicans got offended the White House Official Twitter Account revealed the MILLIONS of PPP loans the nay sayers had forgiven individually

NASA Is trying to GET US BACK ON THE MOON BABEY WOOOOOOOOO but unfortunately they had to scrub 2 launches because of engine troubles and a leak

But it's cool! It's cool! They gotta get it right because the end goal is to try and establish a MOTHERFUCKING MOON BASE!!! SOMEBODY HIGH FIVE ME

A machine on Mars the size of a lunch box made about as much oxygen as a small tree, prompting some to think we could have oxygen mines for future manned Marsian missions

Leonardo DiCaprio breaks up with another woman who just turned 25

JK Rowling wrote a book about totally not her being harassed by the very people she demonizes every day as a racist antisemitic ableist TERF and embarrassed herself in front of God and the internet again

After years of failing to sell on the market, Sony makes the decision to INCREASE the price of the PS5 despite only 5 people other than Crypto Dorks having them

Nintendo follows up by revealing they have no plans to change prices, which we all been knew because they still sell years old ports for $60

Gendy Tartokovsky's Primal aired a Dinosaur literally laying eggs up close and personal from its cloaca (side note do dinosaurs have those?)

Gendy is also apparently at the helm of a second PPG reboot in the works

She-Hulk Twerked

Looney Tunes officially ships Bugs X Daffy

3 Avatar Movies in the works. No not the blue people- well yes those too but I meant the one about the bald kid, the second one about Zuko, and the third about Korra

Blue people avatar has a movie coming in December

Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100 wins Twitter poll for Twink Supreme

Reigen does absolutely nothing and wins Ultimate DILF

In an ultimate final clash, Reigen just barely loses to Sans Undertale for Tumblr Sexyman

Tobyfox wrote fanfic about it and posted it to Twitter

On the same exact fucking day Sans defeats Reigen, the Queen of England DIED. Tv stations in mourning across the globe. Meanwhile Irish people and other people directly negatively impacted by colonization by the crown cheered and partied and tumblr and twitter released the crabs 🦀

This is as of September 10th, 2022, not told in any particular chronological order

This has been the look at the timeline, and no, the year is not over yet

See the full post

954 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#2

Pokemon: we made the darkest Pokemon game ever, Legends Arceus, where wild Pokemon will try to knock you out, you're forced to work or die in the wild, you're stripped away from your home and everything you love, and you're forced to live in a strange and uninhabited land. Don't worry, you'll be able to befriend the Pokemon, befriend the locals, and just maybe you'll make it :)

Digimon: hold my beer, because I'm about to toss 8 kids and a grandpa into an unfamiliar world, kill a few of them on screen very painfully with no room for misinterpretation, and psychologically scar the shit out of them AND the player

Pokemon: W-WHY???

Digimon:

981 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

5,280 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[the-firebird69]

We have actually heard enough from you about 9/11 and it's you too Mack and you're an idiot. And you can't figure out who his kids are cuz he's not big he's not big because of you it's kind of odd isn't it are you lying. So these people like the big code in reality you like to make it money so I wonder what it says about him being small in money.

Further don't ask me for any famous mac I'm not handing you any favors. It looks like Mars attacks is the end of the line for you Mac. And that's what a lot of people say and Garth you die in Prometheus and a lot of people say that, the reason they say that is they studied the tape and they can see you in absolute horror and in Mars attacks with a tie you down after you were attacked your face is showing severe duress. And yes you are gritting your teeth I've never before. And the whole face matches what you doing. And those things are not long from now and you're sitting here messing with them the whole time like an idiot a lot of the max figured out that your part idiot and you will not stop screwing things up. They don't blame you Max they play in PGA and they can't seem to separate you too I said that idea but who's going to do it and when they're warlock are gone you hv to or Max's get ya. So you see that's true and we do have an update.

The St Laurent is beginning to show science it will drop it's down to 20 mb and drained seven miles below the surface but it is already quivering and shaking. It won't last much longer and they're telling me it's 8 MI that has dried out the soil has. And it will be moments and it will be dropped it's a matter of fact it is shaking violently and started burping and the son says it's going to go if it's burping and we know it is. There are a few things going on around here as well. The police are arresting people for local crimes and no you're not getting out of jail they're taking you to prison. Quite a few of you are going to the boys detention center and you're made to eat crow and are killed there especially your clones Tommy f. It's a lot of you are going to be taken away today more specifically they're looking to move Dan and Trump out. Consultant writing do something before someone gets to him he's got a hot temper he can't stand them at all they want to hurt him so there are plenty of cops trying to bring you two in all over punta Gorda and Port Charlotte. Well you did yesterday Dan was illegal I decided to do it and Trump they're coming for you you don't care you will later on you say it that was stupid. My son time to you Dan and you apparently fell for it and you wanted to call the police the whole time you been doing that to him and sit here trying to call the cops about something and pretty soon you'll be heard saying you regret it and a lot and everybody knows why okay already nobody has to hear it explained nobody wants to hear it explained they know you're too stupid people and they're going after you because you're so damn dumb yeah giant flaws you're thinking and huge inappropriate things you've done and they don't care who your character is but what you say you're up to all this other s*** you always do they're coming after you for f****** up and for other stuff now you're already screwed and you already have problems and you go ahead and you kidnap Lily and you're saying it's because she's trying to get in the house and stuff in fact you're trying to get sausage they have which you probably expend before you even saw them because you're so lame that's another reason why we don't want you doing anything there's no value for all this harassment it's very very low and he doesn't want it either you suck really bad and that's pretty much all there is to it so we're going to go after you idiots and Mac is going after you right now and he's got a special warrants out for your arrest and we're going to start up again in a minute

Thor Freya

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

alphabet boy II

SYNOPSIS: college AU. Armin, your brilliant tutor, invites you over to his house for some studying. Naturally, you're nervous and he seems to be giving you a reason to be.

PAIRING: SCUMBAG!Tutor Armin x FEM!Reader

WARNINGS: half edited, noncon/dubcon, fingering, non-penetrative sexual content. gaslighting, manipulating,

A/N: really need the motivation to write again and I've been slacking on my multi-parters so here's a somewhat highly anticipated one. Armin fuckers, this is for you. non-Armin fuckers, I hope this converts you

WORD COUNT: 2.0k

II. I.

“You’re not paying attention.”

You feel his voice right by the shell of your ear, and the proximity nearly makes you reel back in surprise but you manage to catch yourself.

“S-sorry” You apologize, wishing you didn’t stutter.

The thing is you’re just really out of your element. This is the first time you’ve been to Armin’s house for personal tutoring, and it was hard to focus on the material when his presence was so distracting.

It wasn’t like you were fantasizing about him or anything [well…]-you always tried to banish those thoughts as soon as it came. But still, being alone with an attractive boy with a disarming charm was causing some jitters. You felt like a shy middle schooler, on edge and jittery.

The last tutoring session in the library when he [basically] called you stupid plagued your mind. The memory of him feeling up your thighs lived in your head rent-free.

“Let’s take a break.” He sighs. Your heart drops at the noise of disappointment but you suppose it’s what you deserve.

You push your laptop lightly aside on the table, the bleak light straining your eyes, and ask for the bathroom. You just wanted to freshen up and be alone for a few seconds. The bathroom is meticulously clean, something even you knew was unexpected for a boy. You looked at yourself through the spotless mirror, scrutinizing every flaw.

You sigh, fiddling with your dress collar. Why you had tried dressing pretty for a boy so out of your league, he may as well be in Mars--you didn’t know.

When you return, there is a tall glass of lemonade waiting for you.

“Thought you might be thirsty.”

It’s a simple gesture that makes you blush so you thank him earnestly. Like the gentleman he is, he assures you it’s no problem. Not wanting to prolong the awkward silence, you compliment his apartment, “This is a really nice place. So much light and space.”

You’re babbling but he engages you regardless, and you two are mindlessly discussing the benefits of living at off-campus housing over dorming. His words are pleasant but there’s a sinking feeling within you as you notice he’s bored. Or maybe distracted was a better word.

“So, do you have a boyfriend? Or anyone you’re seeing?”

You nearly choke at the question uttered through a buttery voice.

“Oh um, not really.”

“Not really?”

You made a mental note to answer in definitives. Armin seemed the type to snuff out anything he reasoned as half-truths.

“No. I uh, don’t have a boyfriend.” And then you clarified a pin-drop later, “And I’m not seeing anyone either.”

The blond hums a playful tune that’s vaguely nostalgic.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

You don’t understand the point of this line of incessant questioning, and can’t calm your heart rate.

“I-um, I don’t-“

Taking one look at your serious face, eyes rimmed with worry and cheeks pink, he laughs. It’s a startling sound like bell chimes.

“Relax. I just wanted to know if you had any experience.”

The sentence flies out of your mouth before you can even ponder it: “What do you mean by experience?”

It’s not his fault if he can’t hide the feral grin that crosses his mouth right at that moment. You can’t discern his expression as you’re staring at anywhere but him, so you don’t notice the uncontained excitement that glimmers in cerulean eyes.

“Let’s move to the couch. You’ll be more comfortable there.”

You think about saying that you’re fine wherever you are and didn’t really feel like changing positions, but he’s already striding towards the couch. So you start packing up the materials, before a clear voice calls out to you, “It’s okay. You don’t have to bring all that. Just bring your flashcards.”

You hoped that wouldn’t mean he’d quiz you, but that’s exactly what he meant to do.

“Law of diminishing returns.”

“Wait! I know that one!” You brightly exclaimed, “ Uhh..it gives way to the catch-up effect which means poor countries tend to grow more rapidly and they’ll one day essentially catch up with wealthier economies.”

The blond ran his hand through his hair before sighing. You could feel your heart drop. You were sure you were right. Was your answer wrong enough to cause exasperation?

“Stick with the formal definition next time. I didn’t ask for the theory based on the law.”

You pouted, and Armin couldn’t help but relish in how eagerly you sought his approval, like a puppy performing tricks to appease their master.

“You should sit closer. Can you even see the word?”

You moved closer to him, knees knocking into each other. He looks down at the completed set.

“Well, you didn’t do as bad as I expected.” Ouch. But maybe he meant it as a compliment?

“But,” the corners of his mouth curled, “I’d say you’re still struggling.” Never mind.

“T-this is a new chapter though. I don’t think we’ve even gone over it in class.”

Blue eyes narrow, and you wonder if he’s going to give the well-meaning spiel about how staying ahead was the only way to keep up. That mantra may work for someone with high ambitions and an extremely good work ethic but you were no well-oiled machine. You had other classes too!

“Why are you so defensive?”

Your eyes widen in surprise at the question, spoken so softly and casually, you almost miss the disdained lilt.

“Oh uh-“

“Listen to me. I quizzed you so I’m able to assert your skill level. And your response to my assertion is that it’s something you haven’t gone over in class yet. Do those things relate to each other at all?”

Meekly, you shift your attention to the rug.

“Answer me.”

“N-no”, you squeaked.

“And what have I always told you? The only way to keep up is to-“

“Stay ahead.” You finished, “I’m sorry, I just-“

“Did I say you could interrupt me?”

You could feel the blood rushing to your ears, unsure when the atmosphere had shifted. Your heartbeat was beating rapidly and you could feel your body go warm.

He sighed, and placed a hand over over your folded ones, squeezing your palms.

“You know I’m just looking out for you right? It almost feels like you don’t care-“

“No!” You exclaim, “I-I do.” Heat pools into your cheeks once you realize your grave mistake, “I-I’m sorry for interrupting you.”

The blond smiles radiantly and it nearly melts away all of your worries…until he opens his mouth to deliver another damning remark.

“You know, with your looks…you don’t really even have to graduate. Maybe choose an easy major and then get some rich husband to take care of you.” There’s a distinct lack of humor in his tone as if he wholeheartedly believed every word he was saying.

Your eyebrows furrow in blatant confusion, and in the back of your mind, danger signs are flashing at the back of your head. Your thighs are growing warmer. Oh no, this could not be happening right now.

“That’s what most girls’ dreams are anyways.” He inspects his spotless nails, “You chose this class because Ackerman’s attractive right? That’s why his class has such a high drop rate…silly girls join, not understanding how harsh of a grader he is.”

You open your mouth to defend yourself but the next inflammatory remark he spews almost sends you to shock, “Though I bet, if you got on your knees for him, you’d be getting an A on those finals.” He laughs as if he was saying something particularly amusing, an undercurrent of spite coloring his words, “You wouldn’t even need me as your tutor.”

There are a million things on the tip of your tongue but no voice to speak them out. You want to ask him why he’s been so weirdly invasive, what his weird hang-up with professor Ackerman was, and of course, the casual sexism was really throwing you in a loop. Still, you have no doubt Armin could beat you to a bloody pulp several times over in a verbal lashing, and your mind was too fragile to deal with this.

You’ll sign up for a new tutor or better yet no tutor. You’ll get over your social anxiety and join a study group. You’ll go to all of Professor Ackerman’s office hours. Anything had to be better than this. You’re giving yourself this pep talk in your head but there’s no denying that your legs feel warm, and the self-improvement speech is withering away in your mind as it seeks to instead process how Armin fucking Arltert is touching you right now.

He pins you against the cushions, one hand locking both of your wrists. You’re shaking but your pupils are blown out wide.

He smirks, “There’s an excellent stress reliever for studying you know.”

You limp in his hold but the cocky attitude behind his words brings you back. You thrash under him, earning an annoyed growl from the blond.

“I’ve been so fucking patient with you, you know? Planning out your study guides, sharing my notes with you, proofreading homework, going over the mock exams—don’t you think I deserve a little compensation?”

“I-I’m sorry.”

He's right. He's right. Armin actually has done so much for you. Maybe it was too easy to take for granted because of how efficient he was, and how he acted like it was nothing. But right now, nothing really was everything.

He smiles. Yeah, this is who you were. Add just a little bit of pressure and you crumble. That flash of bravery from before was nothing but a petulant outburst from a child who didn’t know any better.

Armin coos, “Isn’t it a little embarrassing to be a virgin at your age?”

With unbridled precision, while he’s still holding your lower body down with the weight of his legs, he unbuckles his belt and ties it around your strained wrists. Red fills your face, and like always, you’re struggling to find the right words to respond. To say anything at all. Most of all, you can feel a wetness building at your core.

“I know the way you look at me, you know.” He kisses the dip of your neck, slender fingers splayed from under your shirt, “I know you’re into this.”

And because he is a scientist who must have evidence to back up his hypothesis, his hands find themselves under the waistband of your floral skirt that you foolishly wore, pushing the cure pastel underwear aside. You’re writhing in his grasp but maybe not as much as you should be, but it’s not your fault your movements are sluggish right?

“You have such a funny habit of not deleting your windows and keeping your bookmarks open.”

You freeze.

“This entire time I thought you were some prudish virgin even though you dress like a whore. Someone with who I had to be gentle. But all that fucking porn you read? Nasty. Is that why you need help in this class?” He punctuates slowly, "Because you're wasting your brain for something else?"

Immediately, you remember how you left your laptop on the table. You remember how many times he used your computer to double-check the notes, and you trustingly let him, forgetting that despite deleting your tabs, the hidden windows of steamy erotica were not yet erased out of their existence. Embarrassment violently paints your body.

He doesn’t wait or care for your response as he starts a vigorous assault on your clit with his slender finger, rubbing up and down in a vicious manner. The second finger prods at your entrance, feeling a tight cavern despite the amount of slick collected. Your eyes roll back in pleasure-is this what being with someone is like?

Stop. Get a hold of yourself. Why are you so fucking horny right now? It doesn’t matter what Armin said about you or how he called you out for the fiction you’ve read, because this is real life. But Christ, it’s Armin, the boy you’ve had a crush on since the moment he explained to you what a marginal abasement curve was. Stupidly handsome Armin with a gentle voice and too-blue oceanic eyes. Stupidly handsome Armin who coerced you into being under him.

You’re so fucking warm and tight, and Armin can’t wait to sink himself inside of you, can’t wait to humiliate you further. With nimble fingers he untied the ribbons of your dress like you were a Christmas present, groping your soft mounds and marking up your collarbone with teeth and tongue. Crystalline tears roll down the side of your face. You really shouldn’t be crying when you’re this wet.

“So fucking funny how you can’t look at me in the eye when we have a conversation but you read the filthiest fucking smut I’ve ever seen.”

taglist: @candy-hime

[punderfulowl]

Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020

Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!

Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).

Honorable mentions:

Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

10. Maid-Sama (2010)

In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.

9. Haganai NEXT (2013)

It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.

8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)

Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!

7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)

It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.

6. ID: Invaded (2020)

Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.

5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)

A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.

4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)

Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.

3. K-On S1 (2009)

I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.

2. Princess Principal (2017)

Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!

1. Beastars (2019)

I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.

Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!

[shh-im-fangirling]

"I love you's"

Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Background & Cameo Characters Summary: Eddie cheeks were wet. Why was he crying? Then his brain cought up with what his heart was about to make him say: "I love you".

All the times Eddie almost said "I love you" to Buck and the time he actually said it.

[Sorry for the long post but I don't know how to put the "Keep reading" thing]

-----

1. After the boombing.

The first time Eddie was about to say "I love you" to his best friend was after the boombing. The nurses had just brought Buck back in his room after a surgery and Eddie had sneaked inside before even Maddie could.

He knew he didn't have much time so he didn't even bother to get a chair. Buck looked so peaceful while sleeping. Eddie was scared that he could wake him up if he touched his hand so he didn't. He stood there at end of the bed, watching his best friend.

《Hey, Buck, the surgery went well. You will walk again. After some physiotherapy, of course.》 Eddie didn't know why he was even talking since Buck couldn't understand him in his sleeping state.

《You know, I'm really happy you are okay. When I saw the ladder truck explode I don't think I've never been so worried in my life. And then I saw your leg stuck under it and I couldn't come to help you, just like I couldn't help Shannon and I was losing my mind thinking about losing you. I can't bare the thought of losing another important person of my life, because Buck, I -》 he stopped.

His cheeks were wet. Why was he crying? Then his brain cought up with what his heart was about to make him say: "I love you".

Eddie had fallen in love with Buck without even noticing. That part of himself that he had forgotten after marring Shannon was coming back on surface. And if he thought about it, it probably started coming up again in his mind after a few shifts at 118 with Buck.

He was about to open his mouth when he heard quick footsteps behind him and when he turned Maddie was storming into his little brother's room, but stopped when she saw Eddie standing there. Eyes red from crying, cheeks stained from all the tears he had shed without realizing.

《Oh, Eddie.》 The woman said, trowing her arms around him in a warm and comforting hug. 《Evan is going to be okay.》 She added, strocking his back trying to calm him down, while he was silently crying.

He knew Buck was going to okay, but would Eddie be?

Now that in that hospital room he had given his heart the control, how could he keep it from ruing the best friendship he had got since years?

He was crying for himself, but he nobbed to Maddie after breaking the hug.《Yeah, he will. Just all the adrenaline crushing down on me, I guess. It was a pretty scary situation out there.》 He told her, drying his cheeks and giving her a small smile.

Maddie studied his face a bit with a intorrogatory expression - Buck did that face often so Eddie deduced it's a Buckley thing - before she decided to take that as a good reply. She didn't ask him anything more, not even how he got into the room before her or the real reason he was crying. She understood it wasn't her business. What was her business was telling Eddie to go home and have some rest and that she would have kept him updated. And that's what Eddie did. He went home, took a shower to wash away everything that had just happened, gently woke his son up and asked him if he wanted to sleep with him tonight. He hadn't even finished the question that Christopher was already kicking the blankets off of him to go cuddle his dad.

Both the house phone and his cellphone on the nightstand next to Eddie, close enough so that he could reach them in case Maddie called him from the hospital.

~

2. After the tsunami.

Eddie was conflicted when Chris asked him to call Buck around 3 in the morning. The kid had woke up having yet another nightmare, Eddie had already lost count of how many times he had to rock his son back to sleep after one of those since the tsunami. Usually Chris would relax pretty fast and he just had to remind him he was safe, inland, in his home, on his bed. But tonight it was different, the kid seemed to have no intention of calming down to sleep. He just wanted Buck. But it was the middle of the night, Buck was sleeping for sure.

After trying to convince his son to let their friend sleep with no success, he went to his room and took his phone.

《Hey, Eddie. It's everything okay?》Buck's voice came two seconds after the first ring. He sounded wide awake, not like a person that had just been wake up from a call.

《Yeah, everything it's fine. Sorry if I woke you up, but do you mind coming over? I know it's late but it's important.》 The question came out more shyly than expected.

《I'm on my way.》 It was the only thing Buck replied before ending the call.

Eddie looked at his phone. So many thoughts in his head. Why Chris wanted Buck so bad? Why was Buck awake at this hour? Why was he so nervous about is best friend coming over in the middle of the night? He scrolled his head to send away all the questions and went back to his son that was still sitting on his bad, waiting for news.

《Hey, mijo. Buck is coming, okay? I'll go make some coffee for us in the midtime, do you want or need anything?》 He asked leaning on the door frame.

《Nothing. Thank you, dad.》Chris replied, shaking his head with a small smile on his little face knowing Buck was coming.

They didn't have to wait long before Buck was letting himself in using the spare key he always found on the same spot under a pot. Eddie could've just given it to him since it was basically his from how many times he used it.

《Eddie?》 The young man called softly just to make sure he didn't wake Chirstopher up.

《Hey, man. Thank you for coming. I called you for Christopher.》 Eddie said, going to greet him.

《What happened? Where is he? Is he okay?》 Buck asked looking around and Eddie could read in his tone and eyes that the was starting to panic.

《He just had a nightmare, he is in his room and he is okay.》 He replied placing both hands on his friend's shoulders in attempt of calming him down.《He is having nightimares about the tsunami almost every night since then, and usually he goes back to sleep after seeing he is safe in his bed but tonight he asked for you.》 Eddie explained and Buck's eyes were on his as soon as he finished the sentence, a sad smile on his face.

《He is in his room?》 Buck's asked to confirm he had heard right.

《Yes, in his room, waiting for you.》 Eddie replied letting go Buck's shoulders.

The younger man nobbed at him and made his way to the kid's room, Eddie close behind.

《Buck!》Chris cheered as soon as he saw his friend coming inside his room.

Eddie looked at them hug, smiles on their faces that caused him to smile too. Seeing them so close had such a weird effect on him, he could watch them all the time and never get tired. And it was like this even before realising he had feelings for Buck, every emotion he felt before was just twice bigger now.

《I- I will let you two talk.》 He announced taking a few steps back.《 I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.》 He added pointing to the room and gaining a nob from Buck and Chris and closing the door behind his back.

He was curious to know what they were going to talk about, but also wanted to give his kid privacy. He would have talked with him when he was ready.

He went to the kitchen, poured two cups of coffee and sat at the table lazily drinking while waiting.

Buck came out of the room fifteen minutes later more or less, it wasn't like Eddie was counting. He heard his best friend stopping and sniffing before turning the courner of the room.

《Chris is sleeping again.》He informed walking inside and taking a seat in front of the mug of coffe Eddie prepared for him.

Eddie nodded and allowed himself to observe his friend carefully for the first time since he had arrived.

Buck was wearing a pair of grey short sweatpats and a t-shirt. Something that he usually wore at home when he had nothing to do and Eddie wonder if he had rushed out to go to them without changing and it was logical since he had arrived pretty fast.

His attention went to Buck's face then. He still hadn't shaved the short beard he had grown during his recovery, he must have taken a shower because his hair were curly and it made Eddie smile. He really liked Buck's little curls. His smile dropped when he looked his eyes. They were dull and tired with black shadows under them. The deep blue not as joyful as it always was.

How could he not have noticed how bad his friend was feeling? How could he haven't thought that Buck was probably having trouble sleeping just as much as Chris was? They had both lived the tsunami. That's why it took Buck seconds to reply to the phone, because he was already awake.

《You probably shoundn't be drinking coffe.》 Eddie spoke breaking the silence. 《You look like you haven't slept well in days.》 He added after receving a confused look.

《Yeah, well. I'm - I'm...》Buck's tongue seemed stuck.

《You're having nightmares too.》 Eddie finished for him and the other man just nobbed lowering his eyes.

《I had just woke up from one when you called me.》 Buck said after a bit.

《You should have tried to go back to sleep, I would have understood. And Chris too.》 The Eddie said giving the other a small smile, but Buck shook his head.

《You said it was important. So I came.》 He said firmly putting down his mug.

Eddie couldn't help but smile. He was so happy his son had found someone else that cared for him just has much as he did. He was so happy to have found someone like Buck himself, someone that was so easy to love.

《He dreamed of you.》 Buck spoke again, pullimg him out from his thoughts. 《You were at the pier with him and the water divided you and he... and he couldn't...》and he told him Chris's nightmares.

Eddie noticed his eyes watering, his breathing becoming faster and faster and in a second his hand was on top of Buck's.

《Buck, Chris is going to be okay. You will be okay.》He said, caressing the other's hand with his thumb. 《We all be okay》

《He isn't even traumatized by the water, he is traumatized by the fact that I lost him, Eddie. He must have been so scared out there on his own and it's all my fault if now he is scared to lose you and that he won't be able to find you.》Buck started ranting and without thinking he turned his hand to hold Eddie's.

Eddie felt his cheeks turning red, luckily Buck's eyes are on the mug or anywhere that isn't Eddie's face.

《He told me that he didn't want to tell you because he didn't want to make you sad. And that I was the only person that could understand how scary that was.》 He continued and Eddie could feel his heart breaking with each word.

Both of their heart were breaking and Eddie had to mentally stop himself from getting up and hug his friend. Sure it wouldn't be their first hug, but this time it would have been difficult for Eddie to let go.

《Buck, like I told you, it was not your fault. You kept Chris save as much as you could, and you searched for him even if you were tired and hurt. And yeah, he is traumatazed by being alone, but he won't because I'll be here, and you will be here as long as we can. He will overcome all of this.》 Eddie tried to reassure Buck by slightly tightening the grip on his hand and cheasing his gaze.

《I don't want to leave him.》 Buck replied, finally watching him and Eddie could read in his face and voice his determination.

《You won't. You are my best friend. You are part of Christopher's life, he loves you, I -》 He started but stopped as soon as he realized he was about to say 'I love you' - even if he was sure that Buck wouldn't have take that in romantic way. Eddie coudn't say that. Not yet, at least, he hoped one day he will be able to, but not now. 《I was thinking you should stay here tonight. I can't let you drive with the risk of falling asleep on the wheel.》 He added, before Buck could ask anything and letting Buck's hand go.

He felt so stupid to feel so embarrassed for a hand holding between friends. He felt like he was back in high school asking his crush out.

《Are you sure?》Buck asked and Eddie sensed almost the same amount of embarrassment in his friend's voice.

《Yeah, you are already dressed for bed.》 He pointed, getting up and putting the mugs in the sink.

When he turned to Buck again he was watching his outfit like he had just noticed that he didn't changed before going out. Eddie found him adorable while he was checking if he had any holes or stains.

《Also, I'm sure Chris will be thrilled to see you are still here tomorrow morning.》Eddie added to make his best friend watch him again and when Buck did, he was smiling big.

《I can make him breakfast.》 He happily informed while getting up as well.

He was so close Eddie could smell his detergent and his shower gel and his shampoo. He was kind of too close in Eddie's opinion; he could do something stupid like kiss him.

《Of course you can, but first you have to get some sleep.》He laughed, making his way out of the kitchen.

Buck followed him close behind.

《You take the bed, it's more comfortable and closer to Chris' room. I will stay on the couch.》 Eddie informed while opening the door of his room and letting Buck in.

《Eddie, no, you -》 Buck wanted to protest, but Eddie didn't let him finish.

《I took my decision. I don't want to hear complaints. I just need my pillow.》He said, crossing his arm.

Buck sighed, understanding he had no way out of this.

《Thank you, Eddie.》 He said, heading the pillow to his host.

《Thank you, Buck. For being here for Christopher. I truly appreciate it.》 Eddie hoped Buck understands how much. He didn't know how to show it completely. 《Goodnight, Buck.》He said, watching him take place on the bed.

《Goodnight, Eddie.》 Buck mumbled with a smile and it took Eddie a couple of minutes before taking away his eyes from the man on his bed and going to sleep himself on the couch. Both of the rooms doors were open a few inches in case Chris or Buck needed anything.

The morning after he had waken up by Chris and Buck in the kitchen giggling together. He was happy he didn't have a shift and could stay home and enjoy the company of his son and Buck.

~

3. During the lawsuit.

Eddie frozed when he saw who rang the bell. Buck.

He shouldn't have bene there, his stupid lawsuit didn't allow that.

《Before you say anything, I know I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't stop thinking about what you said yesterday at the shop. About Christopher missing me, and I miss him so much too.》 Buck spilled out all in one go with a big sigh before adding《We don't have to talk to each other but can I please see him?》The last part sounded very much like a beg.

Eddie tried to play though. He wanted to tell Buck to go away because he was still angry, but he missed him too and knew how happy letting him in would have made Chris. And Buck was staring at him never breaking eye contant, and Eddie just felt like his blue eyes were washing away his anger.

《Who is at the door, dad?》 Chris shout from the living room.

Eddie mentally thank his son for unintentionally stopping him from hugging and forgiving the man in front of him.

《You have 10 minutes. Then you are out of here.》 He decided to go for a fifty-fifty concession, where his son could have enjoyed the company of Buck and he could have still play the pretend as he was angry with him.

Buck seemed to be okay with that because he hadn't even finished talking that his face opened up in a huge smile and he was entering the Diaz house before Eddie closed the door and changed his mind.

《Hey, buddy.》 Buck greeted happily when he arrived in the living room.

《Buck!》Eddie heard Christopher scream full of joy.

He'd have loved to go and enjoy the scene that was happening, but he knew that if he saw them hugging he wouldn't let Buck go after his 10 minutes time, so he decided to go in the kitchen and keep himself busy.

He couldn't control his ears tho, and it seemed like they wanted him to hear the giggles that were coming from the other room loud and clear, the only solution was to put his headphones on and listen to some music.

10 minutes later Buck was pocking his head in the room. Eddie could sense he was being watched and turned around.

《My time is up. I wanted to warn you so you can go back to Chris.》 The young man explained once he was sure Eddie had paused the music.

《You can stay. I have stuff to do anyway. Keep him company.》 Eddie said without actually thinking.

He turned back to the dishwasher and took the plates out. He didn't press play to the music this time, he wanted, he needed to hear them while they were playing and having fun. He had missed Chris genuine laugh that he only seemed to have when he was with Buck. And Buck. He missed having Buck there.

He almost forgot that he was angry at him and by the time he saw the other man again he was entering the living room after tyding up Chris' room, his room and had done the laundry.

Buck passed his gaze from Eddie to the clock behind him. 2 hours had passed. He got ready to be kicked out of the house but Eddie didn't seem angry. He simply gave him a nob to the door.

《Okay, I have to go now, buddy.》 Buck announced putting down his controler on the table in front of them.

《Aren't you staying for dinner?》Chris whispered sadly and Buck shot a look to Eddie almost begging him to let him stay for dinner.

And Eddie had to use all of his self control to not give up.

Buck lowered his eyes to Chris after he saw Eddie shaking his head "No"

《Sorry, I already have plans with Maddie, tonight.》 He lied and Eddie can clearly see his heart breaking. 《But we will see each other soon, okay?》 He added stealing a little smile from the kid that happily nobs in agreement.

Eddie was waiting by the door while Buck and Chris shared their goodbyes.

《Thank you.》 Buck said as he joined him. 《For letting me stay longer then 10 minutes.》 He added locking his eyes with Eddie's.

《Don't thank me. I never planned to actually let you stay only for 10 minutes. I -》 "Can't stay angry at you for too long, I love you, you idiot." His eyes widened at what he was about to say. He really needed to learn how to control his thoughts or he would have end up outing himself.

Apparently he was lost in his mind a bit too long because Buck was looking at him in confusion.

Eddie cleared his throat pushing back what he actually wanted to say. 《I knew Chris would have hated me if I had kicked you out.》

Buck gave him a sad smile and opened the door to leave. When he turned to look to Eddie he seemed torn between going back in while the door was still open, beg his best friend to make him stay or just leave.

And the last option it was what he chose. Buck gave him a nob and went to his jeep.

Eddie closed the door but stayed there until he heard his best friend drive away. And maybe a little longer until Chris called him to prepare dinner.

Eddie missed Buck so much, but couldn't forget and forgive him for what he was doing to Bobby and the 118. He sighed and faked a smile while joining his son in the living room, pretending he was okay and hoping Chris wouldn't understand.

~

4. After the well accident.

It was a bright sunny Sunday in LA and Eddie had taken advange of Christopher's free day to take him to the park. It was also Eddie last day before going back to work after the well accident. After that day Bobby had given him a week off so that he could spend time with Chris. And Eddie had accepted that happily and even had his son skip school once to have more time.

Buck was with them at the park. Of course he was, why would't he? He was family after all.

The young man was still dressed in his job attire having just finished his shift. Every kid was amazed to see a firefighter and they all started asking thousands of questions at the same time. Buck had them all sitting in a circle, Christopher on his right, and answerd all of them.

Eddie watched the scene from a bench, he could only see Chris' side profile when he turned to watch to Buck, and his son had one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen.

In that moment, seeing Buck surrounded by kids, Christopher proudly telling everybody that the man was his friend, the two laughing together, Eddie knew he had make a good choice.

On Friday morning after the Show and Tell he had done for his son's class, he had gone to his lawyer office and had changed his will to make Buck Chris' legal guardian in case he couldn't make it home from work. The idea had come to him while he was stuck meters underground fighting to come back.

He knew that Buck would have stayed by Chris' side, taking care of him and loving him like his own. He was already doing so.

《Chris' father is also a firefighter. He works with me.》Buck was telling the kids cathing Eddie's attetion.《Eds, come here, join us.》 He screamed at him turning around to watch him causing Eddie to almost melt because of how cute he looked with his blue eyes half closed because of the sun.

Eddie took Chris' bag and walked to them sitting behind Chris.

The kids around him started asking him just as many questions they had asked to Buck curious to know a different anwers.

Slowly the parents started calling their children to leave and each of them said thank you with a huge smile.

Eddie waved goodbye to the last kid and turned around just in time to see Chris and Buck yawn at the same time.

《Okay, it's time for you two to have your dinner and to get some sleep.》 He said ruffling his son hair and getting up, Buck and Chris only nodding in agreement. Too tired even to talk.

After securing Chris half-asleep in his seat, the kid mumbles goodbye to Buck and leave Eddie close the door.

When he turns Buck is standing close arms crossed a small on his lips. Eddie has to shake his head a little to take away his gaze from his friend's lips.

《It was nice today. Sorry if we couldn't talk a lot, you know I can't say no to kids.》 Buck apologizes with a small laugh and Eddie was ten seconds away from kissing him. 《What did you want to talk me about?》 Buck asked gaing his attention again.

Eddie blinks a few times. He had completely forgot that when he had texted his friend about the park he had also told him he had to tell him something. He had to tell him about his will.

Buck yawns and apologize softly while he waits a relpy and he looks adorable robbing his eyes.

《I-》 Is the only thing Eddie gets to say before he cuts himself off biting his tongue. 'Eddie you can't say I love you!' He yell at himself. He can't tell him about his will either, Buck is too sleepy to understand right now.

《I forgot.》 He lies rubbing the back of his neck. Buck laughs.

《Diaz you are lucky I love being with kids otherways I'd be pretty pissed you made me come here just to forget what you were supposed to tell me.》 He is not angry, actually he is smiling while talking and Eddie feels his shoulders relax.

《So, I'll see you tomorrow at work?》 Buck asks happily and EddIe nods with a huge smile, he missed being on the field with his friends.

Eddie watches has the young one walks to his jeep and swear to have seen him slightly turning around to watch him every now and then.

They both start the engine at the same time and the wave at each other before taking differents roads to their houses.

~

5. During the quarantine.

Eddie didn't like beeing away from Christopher for longer than his 24 hours shifts, but this time it was necessary. With a global pandemic happening he couldn't risk to bring that awful virus at home and he couldn't stop working because firefighters were still needed. The best option was to stay away from his son.

Chris would have stayed with Abuela and Pepa while Eddie would have stayed at Buck's appartment along with Chimney and Hen.

The four people had established rules for a peaceful coexistence, and they worked just fine most of days until one of them had a bad one which leaded to arguments, but no one had killed no one.

It was their sixth month quaratining together and it was one of those days where Eddie could have killed someone to see his son.

He knew Hen was missing Denny and Nia, and Chim was missing Maddie and her baby bump so he always hid his frustation. He stayed quite during argumets and avoided talking to his room mates during his bad days.

Eddie had tried avoiding sharing the bed with Buck so hard but Hen and Chim had better reasons then him. 《There is only one Buckley I'll ever share a bed with and it's not him.》and 《As much as I love Buck I can't stand that he wears socks in bed.》he had tried saying that the house owner snored but it was the weakest excuse because apparenty everyone snores in some positions according to Hen.

It was like turture to watch the man he had fallen in love with do his night routine in the bathroom and then having him laying so close to him every night. Many times he had to get up in the middle of the night and hide in the bathroom to cool himself off after the youngest had slightly touched him under the covers in his sleep.

《Hey, Eddie, are you okay?》Buck asked that night turning around.

The older man shifted a little to put some more space between them and only ummed in response.

《You know you can always talk to me, right Eds?》The blond man spoke softly again reaching to touch the other's shoulder sending involutarily and unknowingly shivers down his spine.

Eddie took a deep breath and turned to face Buck that was waiting with a small smile.

《I miss Chris.》Eddie ammited chocking in a small sob.

《Oh Eds. It's normal. It's the longest you two have been divided since you moved to LA, I was wondering how long it would have took you to breakdown.》 Buck replied placing one hand on top of his friend's and then moving to dry a tear from his cheek.

Eddie just lets him do, he needs comfort and Buck is giving him exactly that.

《You will see him soon. Things are getting better and you will be able to go back to him, to your own bed soon. And then the vaccine will be ready and you both have the priority.》 Buck's voice made him open his eyes he hadn't notice he had close under the gentle touch.

《Thanks Buck.》 It was the only thing Eddie could say squeezing his best friend touch. 《Dios mios I-》 He started speaking again lost in the blue of Buck's eyes. "I love you so much." his heart wanted him to say. 《I'm such a mess.》 His brain luckily acted faster, making him laugh a little and dry the rest of the tears.

《No, you are not. It's normal to miss people this situation. We all have our moments. Chimney cried yesterday after a call with Maddie and Hen was crying this morning cause she was missing brushing Nia's teeth.》and then Buck was telling him of everytime he had saw their other two room mates crying. Eddie was truly closed in his pain that he hadn't noticed his friends were suffering just as much.《I cried in the shower just half an hour ago because during a call I saw a pragnant woman and I thought it was Maddie. And I miss Chris too.》

Buck's words were like knifes into Eddie's heart. This pandemic wasn't just killing people physically, it was also killing people mentally.

《Like you said, we will have the vaccine soon. And will we will all meet again.》 It was Eddie's turn to reassure Buck that gave him back a beautiful smile.

《We should sleep, now.》 Eddie commented before he could do something he could regret.

Buck yawned in response turning his back at the older man.

《Goodnight Eddie.》

《Goodnight Buck.》 "I love you" he adds in his mind, because that's how he wishes he could end every single one of his days. Telling Buck he loved him.

~

(+1) 6. After the shooting.

It has been two months and a week since Eddie has been shot, and he was finally free from the sling.

Buck had stayed over the Diaz's house the entirity of his recovery, claming that he wouldn't have let his best friend do all the house work one handed. Plus, he claimed that, as a legal guardian of Chris, he had the duty to stay with them to save the kid from Eddie's tantrum because he was an horrible patient.

Eddie didn't mind at all. It was nice waking up and finding Buck still asleep on the couch when he didn't have an early shift, saying goodnight to each other before going to bed, hearing him come home after work, having him handle him his meds or helping him change the bandage. Thay had found a routine that Eddie was hoping it would never end.

But with the sling off and him being able to do almost everything on his own it was time for Buck to go back to his house.

He was in front of the door while looking for his jeep keys, a trolley with all his clothes next to him, while he was instructing to Chris and Carla where Eddie's meds were and what, when and how many he had to still take. Eddie was watching him with his heart - and probably eyes - full of love.

《I love you.》He breathed out panting, words falling from Eddie's mouth with no way of stopping them.

Buck's head snapped up to watch him, eyes wide open staring right into his.

Chris and Carla, next to him, left out a small gaps, but Eddie didn't pay much attention to them.

《Chris, sweetheart, I thing we will should go to your room to give the lovebirds some space.》 The woman spoke and in his trance state Eddie could hear she was trying not to laugh and Chris was definetely laughing at the "lovebirds" part.

Eddie noticed them walking fast between them to go to Chris's room but his attention wasn't on them, it was all on Buck. It was always on Buck.

He hadn't moved a inch, one hand keeping the bag open and the other still inside to search the keys.

"Eddie, breath, you can do it." He pep talked himself into moving, doing something, but he was just as stuck as Buck was.

The noise of keys falling back inside the bag from Buck's hand made both flinch.

《Evan, I don't want you to leave.》 Eddie spoke again, never breaking eye and taking a few step to get closer to Buck, trying to read the other expression.

But the blond man's face, usually so easy to read, was hiding somenthing behind the shook and Eddie couldn't understand what.

He was ready to see his best friend run away as fast as he could and never turning back, or for a second he though that himself could run away with Chris as fast as he could. His head playing all the types of worst cases scenarios where the best thing in his life could end right there.

He was also sure the other could hear his heart puonding, he was so nervous. But he had no other choice, he was suffering too much. He took a few deep breaths before continuing his speech. 《Seeing you in the hospital bed after the ladder truck accident made me realize that I couldn't lose you. That you mean too much to me. You brought back a part of me that I kept locked away for so many years. It's so easy to love you, I should have known that it would have ended up with me falling in love with you. I fell in love with you for the way you care deeply about everyone around you, I fell in love  for the way you are always doing researches about the most random things, I fell in love for the way you wear your heart in your sleeves, I fell in love for the way you are with Chirstopher, I fell in love for the way you always have my back. I fell in love with everything about you, Evan.》 Eddie felt like he was running, his heart beating faster and faster at each word.

He was laying out all of himself, allowing himself to let out all of the feelings he had been keeping a secret for too long. A huge weight was lifted off his shoulder while he took a few more steps. 《There were so many times I wanted to tell you all of this, but I've never been strong enough to actually do it because I was so scared that I would have ruin our frendship because I really need you in my life.》

Eddie watched as Buck opened his mouth a couple of times before closing it again without saying anything.

《If you want to run, please do it, but I can't stand the silence.》 He added sounding more desperate that he wanted to.

《Are you really in love with me?》 Buck's voice was shaky, insecure. Eddie didn't expect that question. He cleared his throat, unsure if he truly had heard a bit of hope in his friend's tone.

《Yeah.》 Eddie replied scratching his neck. 《And I'm sure I just listed a few reasons why.》 He added lowering his eyes for the first time.

《I love you too.》 Buck stated after seconds, minutes, hours, days, years.

Eddie didn't know how long had passed before Buck had opened his mouth again. Now was his turn to snap his head up in shook, not sure he had actually heard that or it was just what his heart wanted to hear.

《I can't exactly tell you the moment I knew I had fell in love you, but I did. And I've been too scared to tell you too for your same reasons.》 Buck talked fast putting down his bag. 《Eddie, I don't know if anyone ever told you but when you got stuck underground I lost my mind. Bobby physically stopped me from digging in the mud. I needed to reach you cause I couldn't loose you. You mean too much for me too. I love everything about you. I love you so much.》 He added closing then gap between them, his hands landing softly on Eddie's hips to pull him close and resting his forhead on Eddie's.

The older man tentatively put his hands on Buck's chest to make sure he was really there holding him close and telling him he loved him too.

《Is this really happening?》 Buck asked, wispering like he didn't want to ruin the moment.

《It is happening.》 Eddie replied with a smile, bringing up his hand to cup Buck's face.

The younger man basically melted under the touch closing his eyes and tightening his grip on Eddie's hips lightly.

《Can you try something?》 Buck asked opening his eyes, a little smirk on his lips.

《What do you want me to try?》 Eddie was geniunely confused by the question.

《Can you try to kiss me?》 Buck questioned, his smirk bigger and his eyes danced from Eddie's eyes to his lips repeately.

《Yeah, I think I can try that.》 Eddie softly laughed out moving his hands in the back of Buck's neck and pulling him down.

Their lips matched perfectly together, like they were pieces of the same puzzle. There was no rush in the kiss, they were learning to know each other like this, slowly and calmly.

Buck's hand slided on Eddie's back hugging him even closer and to keep him steady.

Eddie was sure there was only one other time he felt this happy and it was when Christopher was born. After that he always felt like something was missing. And maybe, that missing part was Buck. And he was kissing him back with so much love he never wanted it to end.

《Eew, gross.》Eddie jumped back leaving Buck mid-kiss as soon as he heard his son's voice.

And Eddie was about to start panicking again. Maybe he should have talked with his son before jumping in the arms of another man, ask him if he was okay about it. But then Carla was laughing and Chris was giggling and when both, he and Buck, turned to watch them they were picking their heads out of the kid's room.

《Are they going to be always like this?》Chirs asked looking up to the woman.

《I hope for you they will not, kid.》 Carla laughed.

Before anyone could say anything else, Buck burst out laughing, causing everyone to laugh. Eddie let a sigh of relief escape his lips. His son wasn't disgusted by the idea of him and Buck kissing, he was digusted by the idea of kissing in general.

《I guess my services won't be required anymore. At least not until Buck's next shift. I'll now head home.》 Carla spoke after catching her breath. 《Buck will take great care of both of you. You will take care of each other.》 She added reaching them, Christopher close behind, pulling both men into her arms for a hug.

《Carla, are you leaving me alone with them? They are going to kiss, I don't want to be alone with them when they kiss.》 Chris asked, making everyone laugh again.

《I promise we won't kiss in front of you, okay, mijo?》 Eddie promised, picking up his son and with his surprise Chris let him, even if he was too big to be picked up - Chris's words.

《Okay, Dad.》 The kid replied hugging him.

They all hugged Carla once more and then she was driving away.

《Let's go sit down on couch and talk, okay?》 Eddie suggested putting down Chris that stormed to the couch.

The man was nervous again and he could feel Buck was too by the way he took his hand and squized it.

《Dad, you and Buck kissing means Buck is not leaving, right?》 Chris asked as soon as Eddie sat next to him.

《Do you want him to leave?》Eddie asked looking to his kid and then up to Buck that was standing next to the coffee table, shifting on his feet and biting his fingers nails.

《No!》 Chris replied so fast and determinated. 《I want him to stay with us forever.》 He added saying "forever" a bit louder.

Eddie thought for a second Buck could have faint at hearing Chris' answer and he was sure the blond dryed a tear just before he looked at him.

《You should ask him if he wants to stay forever yourself, young man. I can't do all the job to keep him with us.》Eddie jocked, pocking his son side, trying not to start crying himself.

《Buck.》 Christopher screamed like the man wasn't standing a few step away from them, making his dad laugh.

《Uhm, yeah, I'm here, buddy.》 Buck strumbled on his feet and went to sit on the coffe table in front of the kid.

《Do you want to stay with Dad and me forever? Because we want you to.》 The kid asked all serious and Eddie nobbed next to him when Buck watched at him like asking for approval.

《Yes, I want to stay with you two forever. I'll do my best to take care of the two you. I'll do everything in my power to make you two happy.》 Buck was so honest while looking at the Diaz, chocking sobs in and tears traveling down his cheeks.

And Eddie was definitely crying too when he ended.

《Dad, he is going to stay. He is going to stay.》 Chris yelled happily boucing up and down the couch before slowling getting up and pulling Buck in a hug.

Eddie watched with a soft smile on his face. His life was getting back on track. He was finally happy with himself again. He hadn't felt this complete in a long time. And most important, Christopher was happy too.

He was lost in his head when Buck's strong grip pulled him into the hug with them with a ecstatic 《Sandwich hug.》.

Chris was laughing so hard while trying to get out of it, and it was the best sound in the world.

They let him go eventually and the kid asked Eddie for his phone.

《What do you need my phone for?》 He asked eyebrows forrowed while pulling Buck on the couch with him where Chris was before.

The blond man slipping an arm behind his head as soon as he was sat.

《I need to call Harry and Denny to tell them I have two dads now.》 Chris informed like it was obvious making Buck chock on his own spit and Eddie laugh.

《It's on the kitchen table, buddy, go ahead.》

Eddie turned his attention to Buck and placed an hand on his cheek to make him turn to him. And when Buck did he was meet with watery blue eyes full of love. He leaned foward to kiss him and Buck was ready to do the same.

《Dad I'm still in the room. Remember the promise.》 Christopher spoke breaking their little bubble causing them to laugh.

《You are right, sorry, mijo.》 Eddie said trowing his hands in the air in surrender.

《I'll go to my room to call.》and with that Chris was out of the room.

Buck made sure to hear the door close before turning and smashing his lips into Eddie's. Now that they had started why wasting time?

Eddie laughed into the kiss at Buck's hunger, and he would have loved to keep going until they could hear Chris' crutches - for the first time in his life he was happy his son had them because they were loud enough to be heard and give them the chance to stop before getting caught making out on the couch - but Buck's phone started vibrating in his pocket. Eddie tappend his hand on his chest and pushed him away making him groin, disappointed.

《It may be Maddie, you should reply.》 Eddie explained at Buck's questioning expression.

Buck rolled his eyes and took out his phone, sitting up properly. It was indeed Maddie.

《Uhm, hi Mads, can I call you in a bit I'm in -》Buck started but his sister didn't gave him the time to finish.

《Evan, I'm happy for you and Eddie.》 She cried into the phone loud enough that even Eddie heard it.

《How - how do you know?》 Buck asked giving Eddie a confused look.

《Hen was on the phone with Chim when Chris called Denny and she overheard the conversation and told him.》 She explained. 《Put me on speaker so Eddie can hear me too.》she added serious.

Eddie gave Buck a worried look. Maddie was about to give him the whole "If you hurt my brother I'll hunt you at night" speech, wasn't she?

《If Buck makes you go crazy, please tell me.》 Maddie said gently.

《Hey, I'm your brother, you should be warning him about not making me crazy. Not the other way around.》 Buck replied offended making the other two laugh.

《Let's say that you both can come to me if the other makes you crazy, okay?》the woman proposed.

《That's a better deal.》 Buck nodded, now content.

《I'm truly so happy you two found your way to each other, I love you both so much.》Maddie spoke breaking into tears again. Hormons.

Eddie watched Buck that was already looking at him a fond smile on his face.

《We love you too, Mads.》Eddie repiled never breaking eye contact if not to look down to Buck's lips.

《We will come visit soon, promise, but right now my phone is dying, I gotta go.》

It was a weak excuse from Buck's part since he had his charger with him but Maddie seemed to get the real reason because she laughed, told them once more how happy she was for them and closed the call herself.

Eddie watched as Buck placed the phone on the coffe table - face down - before turning to him with a huge smirk on his lips.

They were seconds away from starting from where they had left when Chris was making his way into the room, Eddie's phone in hand still on a call.

《Dad, aunt Athena wants to talk to you.》The kid informed handing him hia phone.

Eddie and Buck exchanged a look.

《Hey, Athena, how are you? Is everything okay?》He asked cleaning his throat from embarassment.

《Bobby and I want to invite you and Buck for dinner at ours tomorrow. Bobby told me Buck doesn't have a shift. It will be in your honor so you can't back down.》 She explained.

《I never say no to your cooking.》 Eddie agreed to the dinner and closed the call.

《That was the fastest a news has ever traveled across the 118.》 Buck commented helping Chris on the couch next to them, laughing.

They both checked their phone and they both had "congratulations" text from all their loved ones. Hen, Chimney, Karen, Micheal - and David -, May, even Josh and Sue.

《Why does it seems like we just got engaged with all these congratulations texts?》Eddie laughed while typing another 'Thank you' on his phone.

《Wait a second, using my favorite Diaz to ask me to stay forever wasn't your proposal?》 Buck asked pretending to be shooked, Chris giggling next to him.

And Eddie couldn't do much but to laugh with them. 《I guess it could look like one.》 He admited putting his phone away.

《You have time for a real one, I got everything I need and love right here.》 Buck said taking Eddie's hand in his and pocking Chris on the cheek.

《I love you both so much.》 Eddie admited bringing Buck's hand up to kiss his knuckles and ruffling his son's hair.

That night, after tucking Chris into bed together they had fallen asleep in each other arms in the middle of Eddie's bed.

After beakfast they drove to Abluela's house like was in Eddie plans for the day and decided to take this as an opportunity to give her and Tia Pepa the news.

They weren't surprised as much Eddie expected them to be and welcomed Buck officially in the family with bear hugs.

They had just had lunch and were sipping iced tea in the back yard while Chris had kidnapped Buck into reading him informations about Abuela's plants and flowers and of course he couldn't say no.

《I'm happy you finally found a good love for yourself Eddito.》Abuela spoke making him stop starring his two favorite people. 《He is really an awsome guy.》 She added smiling softly at his grand nephew and his new nephew. Buck had tried to call her Ms Diaz but she had quickly told him to call her Abuela.

《He is.》 Eddie proudly agreed.

《Definetly better than that teacher.》 Pepa intervened with no chalant sipping her drink.

《Tia, Ana wasn't that bad.》 Eddie said in her defence recievening looks from both women. It was true. Ana was a great woman and it was nice having her around, but after Carla speech about following his heart and not Christopher's and the whole shooting situation, Eddie understood she wasn't who he wanted by his side. She was even nice after he had broken up with her offering to still help Chris with his homework from time to time. Eddie truly didn't understand why his Abuela and Tia didn't like her.

《Eddie, you were trying so hard to move on that you clearly didn't see behond her being good looking.》 Pepa explained confusing Eddie even more. 《She was nice, yes, but I never liked the way she treated Chris like he was made of glass and less than other people because of his CP. She was always making comments about how Chris couldn't do some stuff instead of trying to help him find a way for him to do it.》 She spelled out for his nephew that was left shooked. How could he not notice that point of view? He always thought she was just being careful, but now thinking of some of the things she had said to his face too he could see what Tia was pointing out.

《Like Buck does.》 She added pointing to the two with his head and bringing Eddie back in the conversation.

《I'm sure Shannon would be happy that you two have found someone like Evan to make you happy.》 Abuela said reaching to take Eddie's hand in his.

Buck and Chris joined them after that and Chris started repeating every single fact Buck had just teached him.

While Christopher was taking a nap before going to dinner at Bobby and Athena's, Abuela and Pepa took Buck to the kitchen to give him all of Eddie's favorites family recepies, something they only did with in-laws, making Eddie think that maybe they were truly engaged but neither he or Buck knew.

When that night they arrived at Athena and Bobby's house they found the entire 118 family was there as well. It definitly felt like they had just got engaged, and it felt nice. You could feel love walking inside that house.

Bobby presented them HR's paper with the notice to give them back signed as soon as possible to avoid Eddie being temporarly transfered when he could go back to work; Athena thanked them for making her win some money on the "Will Eddie and Buck ever get together?" bet the firehouse had going on for about a year now; Chimney and Hen teased them for how slow they were to understand their feelings; Karen ranted to them about how she knew this was going to happen cause it was in their astrology or something - Buck definetly watched him with a "I told you the universe was screaming at you" look; Maddie locked them in thight hug and almost cried again; Albert didn't waste any time in asking Buck if he could stay at the loft since Buck was going to move at Eddie's place.

And again Eddie felt happier then ever. Their choosen family was there for them, loving them and supporting them and it was everything he needed.

And Buck was at his side the whole thing, a huge smile on his face telling animatedly how awkward but amazing their moment was to everyone.

The drive back home was nice. Christopher had fallen asleep and Buck and Eddie enjoyed each other company in silence to not wake him up.

Buck had insisted on driving after seeing Eddie flinch in pain because of driving too much reminding him that he still wasn't 100% healed.

After putting Chris to bed and doing their night routine together, they slipped in their bed wasting not time to cuddle up close to each other,

Buck laying softly on Eddie's chest.

《I love you.》 Buck said before yawing, voice thick with tiredness.

《I love you too.》 Eddie replied and everything was so natural to make him want to cry tears of joy.

He had finally found happiness again.

No one was surprised when two weeks later Buck officially moved to the Diaz house, or that six months later Eddie was dropping on one knee - Chris by his side - to ask Buck to stay with them forever, again, and Buck said yes, again.

------

Note: I hope you like this, please ignore any mistake, English is not my first language 😊

[brokenbunnny]

STRIKE #2

THE NEXT MORNING

*Panel shows the bell ringing at a high school, THE ACTOR and CREAMPUFF walk to class.*

CREAMPUFF: Hey Mars!

Can we talk real quick?

THE ACTOR: Sure thing, Goldie.

Is everything okaaayyy-??

*CREAMPUFF pulls THE ACTOR into a corner to speak in private.*

CREAMPUFF: I know.

THE ACTOR: You know...what?

CREAMPUFF: I know about The Actor and I know about Obsidian.

Mars, I know about you.

THE ACTOR: Elizabeth. I have o clue what your talking about.

CREAMPUFF: Mars, I know you are The Actor.

THE ACTOR: How do you-

*THE ACTOR is cut off by TELEPORTER.*

TELEPORTER: Elizabeth!

There you are! I've been looking all over for you!

*CREAMPUFF annoyingly waves.*

TELEPORTER: Oh, hello there, Farrell!

THE ACTOR: Keegan! What's up, my man?

TELEPORTER: Oh, nothing much. I was just looking for the two of you, we're going to be late for class!

CREAMPUFF: *Sarcastically* Great.

THE ACTOR: Well then, let's get going.

*Whispering, to CREAMPUFF* We'll talk about this later.

AFTER SCHOOL

*Panels show THE ACTOR fighting some goons in an alleyway, they defeat them and go to comfort a young woman who the goons attacked.*

THE ACTOR: Are you alright ma'am?

WOMAN: Yes. Th-thank you.

*The woman gathers her things and leaves the alleyway. OBSIDIAN jumps down into the alleyway, and knocks out a goon who was getting up to attack THE ACTOR from behind.*

OBSIDIAN: Might want to watch your surroundings.

What? No thank you?

THE ACTOR: *Smugly* Thank you, Obsidian.

OBSIDIAN: Your welcome.

See, was that so hard, hero?

THE ACTOR: *Sarcastically* So tough, such a struggle.

OBSIDIAN: *Sarcastically* Oh, yes. I'm sure it was.

THE ACTOR: So, why'd you drop by?

OBSIDIAN: I, uh...

...I wanted to talk about last night.

THE ACTOR: Oh...

*THE ACTOR blushes and can easily be seen behind their domino mask.*

OBSIDIAN: Yeah, I...

...I wanted to apologize.

THE ACTOR: Apologize, huh? That's out of character for you.

OBSIDIAN: Heh, I know. But, I just don't know what came over me last night and...

...I'm sorry.

THE ACTOR: Well, your forgiven.

Was that all you wanted to talk about?

OBSIDIAN: Well, now that you mention it...

...Last night, after our meeting I was confronted by a girl in the alleyway.

THE ACTOR: Oh?

OBSIDIAN: She said she knew you.

THE ACTOR: What'd she look like?

OBSIDIAN: Its was hard to see in the dark but...

...She was dressed in some makeshift uniform with what looked like facepaint over her eyes...

...Oh, very blond hair I can tell you that!

THE ACTOR: I don't...

...Oh...Goldie.

OBSIDIAN: So, you know her?

THE ACTOR: No.

Well, yes. But...

OBSIDIAN: But?

THE ACTOR: It's nothing.

I've got to go.

OBSIDIAN: Again?

You seem to have a habit of walking out mid conversation.

THE ACTOR: I'm sorry but...

...I need to make a call.

*THE ACTOR grapples away leaving OBSIDIAN in the alleyway alone.*

OBSIDIAN: ...Damn.

LATER

*THE ACTOR is at home trying to contact CREAMPUFF on the phone.*

THE ACTOR: Come on, come on, pick up!

CREAMPUFF: *Voicemail* Hey!

THE ACTOR: Hey, Goldie!

CREAMPUFF: *Voicemail* Sorry I can't come to the phone right now...

...But leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

THE ACTOR: Damn.

*Beep.*

THE ACTOR: Goldie. We need to talk. Please call me back.

*THE ACTOR looks over to the TV which is currently showing the news.*

NEWSCASTER: And in other news, Creampuff, a newly established hero has defeated her first major foe.

We have Greg over on the scene. Greg?

GREG: Yes, Carmen. I am here at the scene of the battle with Creampuff.

Now tell us, what made you decide to join the fight?

THE ACTOR: Oh my god.

Goldie!!?

CREAMPUFF: Well, Greg I became Creampuff because I wanted to help those in immediate danger-

*THE ACTOR turns of the TV and sits there on their couch in shock.*

THAT NIGHT

*THE ACTOR crawls into the window of CREAMPUFFs house.*

THE ACTOR: *Whispering* Goldie!

Elizabeth we need to talk!

*CREAMPUFF turns on the light.*

CREAMPUFF: I knew you'd come.

THE ACTOR: What the hell do you think your doing?

CREAMPUFF: ...What?

THE ACTOR: You've just made yourself a target!

Your not trained for something like this!

CREAMPUFF: I know I'm not but I couldn't just stand around and watch you be an idiot!

THE ACTOR: Idiot!!?

CREAMPUFF: You struck a deal with Obsidian!

Their a villain! You of all people know what they've done! How could you trust them!

THE ACTOR: I knew it.

*THE ACTOR points a finger at CREAMPUFF.*

THE ACTOR: You were the one who talked to them last night!

*CREAMPUFF crosses her arms.*

CREAMPUFF: And what if I was?

THE ACTOR: Elizabeth, your putting yourself in danger, this is a situation that you don't understand.

CREAMPUFF: ...You are too.

Let me join your team.

THE ACTOR: Hm?

CREAMPUFF: Your making a team. I want in.

THE ACTOR: What did I just say about putting yourself in danger!!?

CREAMPUFF: I wont be in danger. You'll be there.

THE ACTOR: No, Goldie.

CREAMPUFF: Fine.

But I'm not going to stop being Creampuff.

THE ACTOR: *Sighs in defeat* Fine.

*CREAMPUFF smiles. THE ACTOR gives her a card*

THE ACTOR: Meet me next saturday at this location.

CREAMPUFF: I'll see you there.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey, dear! I've missed seeing you on my dash, how are you doing? What would you say your summer has been like? Sending lots of love and good vibes!

Ahhh this is so kind! I hope you have been well too. I am working on September’s forecast but I have been a bit slow since I am tired with some stuff going on. I am working on a sacred geometry virtual gallery for the plant alchemist mentor so I have been dizzy with motion sickness throwing this gallery together before the full moon haha. 

Last week I just got back from the most insane adventure that I may probably get around to writing another endlessly long post about haha. (editing this post, it turns out that THIS has become the endlessly long post about it haha so I am having a read more added). CW: sex details. It may be TMI but I added a warning before lol 

  Anyway I was having this mutual attraction with this italian guy I met through work who ALSO has a venus in Scorpio like me. We were going to go on a date but the world succumbed to The Plague. He returned to Puglia to be with his family as he quit the company and his apartment so he can just chill and live for free while he figures stuff out, but he was flirting with me through text all throughout lockdown and begging me to visit him when it was safer to travel so I was like: Oh yeah?!?!?! And I booked a 5 day long first date/vacation to Puglia to be with him lmaoo. Venus in Scorpio is intense as hell but we just be like that. My close aries witch friend moved to Southern Italy with her BF too for the time being so I was like ok if stuff goes south she can come save me but this guy like took me FARRR AWAY on the southern coast like 3 hours from her omg. He booked beautiful places like old medieval stone villas (omg one place had a wooden four poster bed, a stone fireplace with a cauldron and a huge color-changing hot tub jacuzzi next to the bed lmaoooo) and we ate endless seafood and went to the beach everyday. Only set back is we were NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE at ALL and it’s really sad cause yeah I got his star chart and over analyzed it before going over there but sometimes I doubt myself like ohh not everyone is their starchart to a T, like you should give people a chance. But he was  e x a c t l y  like his star chart.

First he has A LOT of trines like a lot of fire energy which is great. He’s super passionate, but the trines means he is too chill and positive which is nice but it means he has little motivation to do anything. (Think when there are great trine transits happening, it’s FANTASTIC for doing magic and manifesting things but those days the energy is so chill and harmonious you don’t even want to do anything and they can easily pass you by.) Meanwhile my chart?? It’s fucking SQUARES ALL DAY BABEY like Squares, Oppositions and more Squares. I have something called the grand cross on my fucking chart lmao. So that means I overthink, I can get stressed easily, my life soundtrack is just this long anxiety ridden drum and base background music as I fucking parkour through endless obstacles of racism, sexism, gender identity, fleeing the states cause it’s becoming a totalitarian government, learning a bunch of european languages and skills in case I gotta flee england next, thinking about the future, thinking about my actions in the present, thinking about how I can learn from the wounds of my past, lmao everything is thought about at least 1000 times. I also have a lot of Saturn energy my chart is Saturn dominant so there is a lot of planning, structure and organizing to me. Meanwhile since he is hosting he never has a plan and is always ‘go with the flow’ so sometimes it makes me nervous cause the first place he booked was some GHETTO sex motel that looked like sex traffic was happening in there and I was in the middle of no where with him and I was nervous like praying to the Spirits of Nature and Venus to help me work this out haha. But it was ok. 

His life is so easy cause he’s like a handsome italian man with a mom that wants him to live at home with her until he finds a wife to mommy him. He never has to do any house work or really any work at all cause his parents will support him cause that’s normal in Italy. Honestly if I got with him I would never get that same treatment I would also be hauling ass in the background to cater to him and our kids until the day I die. He also doesn’t really understand what it’s like to be of a group of people ostracized by society. He is a hot cishet white man and has a whole community of good friends and a mom to support him with whatever he does.

He’s also like really traditional and was raised Christian. I told him I was a witch and he was like ohhhhhhhmyGOddddddd and thought it was fucking weird haha and I was like: YOU NEVER NOTICED ME AND ROXANNE (my aries witch friend who moved to Italy who literally wears massive metal pentagrams everyday) ARE WITCHES?! And he was like: I do not know about this haha. 

Lastly about his starchart which worried me when I first reviewed it is that our natal mars are at a square. I mean I have had sex with someone’s Mars in Aries before and it was great but his sex?? Was TERRIBLEEEE!!!!!!!!! TERRIBLEEEEEEEE OHHHH MY GOD. I am going to add a CW for some sex details in case you want to scroll but like: 

--

My Mars is in Cancer so I do like it to be sensual and cuddly with some oral action but he was like so terrible and disgusting and I feel like he probably only slept with girls in his country who may have been traditional like him and never said anything to him cause I am like I dunno how you got away with this for so long having terrible sex like this. Like so grabby and aggressive it fucking hurts like he would have left bruises and I hate that shit like sex is supposed to feel good!! I don’t mind if you grab my ass cause it’s just sacks of fat lol but my boobs have shit in them like glands you can’t be grabbing that!! And sorry this may be TMI but like I’d communicate with him all the spots I’d like him to go to cause they are the most sensitive ones and he’d just ATTACK THEM like some type of police dog sniffing hidden cocaine I am like BITCH CALM DOWN I literally would have to stop him so many times so he wouldn’t hurt me. And he once said: Oh but I like that (being aggressive in bed) and that annoyed me so much I was like: Oh so if you like aggression do you want me to grab and twist your balls in the same way? And he was like: no. lol 

And then his kissing was tErrible. He wouldn’t even start out sensual he would literally just shove his whole tongue in my mouth and it’d be slimy and terrible and tastes like the ash from the weed he’s always smoking and once during sex I bent down to make out with him and he literally just stuck his tongue out in preparation I paused like: NO!!! Like omg he got me so heated I am so heated just typing this lmao. I am also really sensitive with like sensory things and have misophonia so sometimes if certain stimulations are stimulating me the wrong way I get more put off than the usual person and sex is so intimate like every time he grabbed a sensitive part of me I wanted to slap him the fuck back haha. The funniest part though is when I’d give up on him trying to pleasure me (everything was terrible, the fingering was like someone who is in a rush to get the elevator and is jamming the button impatiently; the actual fucking was like.. off beat?? And he could NEVER LAST; he gave me head once but that was interesting I felt like he was trying to karate chop my clit with his tongue lmao I was like please stop omg) I was like fine ok just lie down and I will give you head and we can get this over with.. And when I gave him head for the first time he did not moan or anything he would just say: Mamma Mia!!; and FUCKING HELL it would kill the mood but also I couldn’t concentrate cause I’d be fucking laughing just choking on him laughing like I could NOT. 

-- End sex detail mention lol 

Anyway I am always wary of sex with Mars in Aries people but this experience is going to make me avoid them and have trust issues haha. Anyway I got a lovely free vacation in a beautiful region with incredible food. His friends were nice though my Italian is really terrible and nonexistent (omg also speaking about communication, he forgot most of his english so it was a challenge speaking to him haha). We were both wild as hell to do this even though we didn’t really know each other but whatever that’s the Scorpio in Venus. And in a perfect Scorpio fashion we may never see each other ever again because he may not return to London, I mean we pretty much fell out of infatuation with each other cause of the terrible sex chemistry and the only reason I have to return to that region of Italy is to see my witch friend there but there is a chance she is going to move to London again and she lives in a different city from him lol. 

So yeah I have been quiet over here but this is my current life. If you want to look at the gallery I am working on it’s in it’s rough draft form but you can find it here! 

https://www.artsteps.com/view/5f4946b290389d2f7d705e86

[boba-dirt-tea]

Seraphina Winter - Salt & Sugar

READ IT WITH THE SONG MI AMIGOS ;)

This is my attempt to warn you guys about this story. It contains Blood and Death, Adult Dialogue, Sexual references and themes.

"After all the shit I've been through and yet this is what has broken me. Am I a joke to you?" she whispered but her words barely reached his ears, in the strangled heap they came out of her mouth. She had caught them by accident and she scoffed at the irony that was her fiancé cheating on her with her sister a month before their wedding.

The way she had walked in on them and then he shot up and out of the bed while her sister cowered and hid in their sheets made her laugh out loud. "It's not what it looks like babe, I swear" was all he shouted in a way that made her think he was trying to convince himself more than her.

"Fuck you, Thomas. Oh wait never mind, Annie beat me to that" I spat at him. The sight of him backed up against the wall while my sister tried so hard to blend into MY BEIGE coloured sheets was almost depressing.

"Sera baby- " was the only bit of his sentence he could form before I strutted calmly into our walk-in closet and started packing my shit into whatever bag of mine that I saw first. But then I remembered I was paying for all this shit and the apartment we were all gathered in. So I calmly turned around and flashed my most loving smile to the two people I had loved the most in the world and said "Get the fuck out right now" oh yeah and then I pulled out the Glock 17 I had hidden in the Chanel bag on the closet shelf and made their asses hurry just a little more. Because I wasn't actually a calm person.

Funny how when someone sees a pistol they automatically think I'm gonna shoot and so the first time my sister opened her mouth in this whole situation was to beg for her life instead of apologizing for sleeping with my ex-fiance. I smiled bitterly at her as I registered and took note of where her priorities lie.

"S-Sera please don't do this, we're family please!" was the sentence she was going with to try and save her life. How I ended up with a pitiful older sister like this I do not know and I never will because she was the only family I HAD left.

"Get out" was my only curt response to their wide-eyed, gaping mouthed stares. I don't even know why Cole was so surprised though, he knew what he was getting into when he proposed and yet he still thought he could do this and I would be none the wiser to his affairs.

"Do you know what Sera, your fucking crazy? You bitch" was how Cole had gotten his third and final strike and then a red card in the form of splattered red liquid with brains mixed in between all over my fucking walls. kill me please I thought as I realised I had to clean it or at least pay for cleaning.

I cut him off before he could alert the whole fucking street with his dramatic antics and I shot him. As I watched his brains splatter onto our once pristine white walls my dumbass sister let out a screech that sounded like the scraping of a fork against a plate and holy fuck if it wasn't for my parent's dying wish and the fact that we had the same blood running through our veins I would have put a bullet right between her eyes. But, she was still my fucking sister so I shot her in the leg and she fainted.

Noise problem solved ���.

A major headache from the flight I had caught in and then the vigorous activities after that was coming along nicely and it was fucking me off even more.

As I made my way to the guest bedroom I was slowly discarding piece by piece of my outfit and when I finally plopped onto the bed and it hugged all my aching muscles I remembered Annie was passed out in my bedroom and Cole was dead on the floor somewhere next to her. "for fucks sakes" I muttered under my breath and then I was sitting up again in bed dialling Rickys Cleaning Services.

"Hello Ricky's Cleaning Services here, are you calling for an existing order or shall we arrange a time for pick up?" a familiar cheerful voice sang from the other end of the phone line.

"I'm calling to inquire about your house deep cleanse. Can you be here in an hour?" I recite from memory.

"Sure can, that'll be $400. Please leave the door open." and then the line went dead. I laugh as I remember that Bruno Mars song and he had said the exact same thing. only a Lil sexier.

I turned off my phone as the headache I was talking about earlier assaulted my brain from all directions and it landed with a thud somewhere. That was the last thing I heard before I snuggled into my covers and then I was out cold. but not as cold as cole was gonna be now I thought.

I scared myself sometimes and the moment I made that joke I knew I was about to wake up and either regret killing and shooting the cheating fuckers in the other room or I wasn't gonna feel anything. And the latter was the one that scared me more, believe it or not.

I dreamt about a wedding that never happened and a family that never disappeared. Because yeah I don't care but it doesn't mean I wasn't looking forward to all of the above.

~*~

Hihihi :D

This is a random story I have literally just written out and posted. It has not been edited and I was creating the story as I went along. I'm not active on here but I feel like I like where Sera's story is going and I might just continue it even if no one even realises there's a story lmao.

Thank you for taking the time to read this far <3 It makes my trigger happy heart sing!