#yeah they get caught on every doorknob and handle i walk past. but thats the cost of fashion

[moonfall666]

does anyone else like the aesthetic of wired headphones or am i just weird

[lubdubsworld]

Taegi ( heavy angst . Will make you cry )

Genre : angst 

Rating : T. 

 the passages in italics are flashbacks. 

Yoongi woke up to sunlight on his face, warm and soft and he was slightly confused. The bed in his and Taehyung's bedroom didn't face the window, did it?.

He blinked back his exhaustion, yawned a little, with his fingers pressed to his lips and then stretched, the blankets sliding off his shoulders and bunching around his waist while his toes curled into the soft feather mattress beneath him.

And then it crashed over him. Taehyung was mad at him. He'd done something so irrevocably foolish , fucked up so bad and now Taehyung wasn't talking to him.

His mind wandered to the past, thoughts flitting through his mind in quick succession.

He'd even kicked him out of their bedroom.

Well, not physically but Jimin and Jin had found Yoongi pounding on the bedroom door, demanding to be let in and they'd suggested that it was better for him to use the guest bedroom .

The guest bedroom where the bed faced the windows.

He sighed again and caught a glimpse of the bedside clock, blinking red at 6.30 AM.

He slipped out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

When he came out, he moved automatically to Taehyung's room his fingers curling around the handle .

Locked.

As expected.

"Tae?" He called out, not very hopeful. Sure enough, silence echoed back at him.

"Would you like breakfast?" He tried again.

Silence.

Sighing, he walked back to the kitchen. Taehyung never came out the whole time he was getting ready and Yoongi arranged his pancakes on his favorite plate leaving it in the kitchen counter hoping he would at least eat them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimin, who worked the night shift in the City Hall office came in the moment Yoongi was leaving.

"Oh, hey." He smiled and Yoongi gave a brittle smile in return.

"He's still mad." Yoongi bit his lips. Jimin looked worried and glanced at the bedroom door. Still locked and silent.

"Yoongi, he isn't......"

"Could you just tell him to eat the pancakes I made Jimin? He's been skipping so many meals." Yoongi rubbed the exhaustion out of his eyes and moved out before Jimin could reply.

~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung had the wildest ideas ever.

"We should just get Jimin and Taemin together." He muttered one evening and Yoongi nearly choked on his pie.

"Tae,that's just..."

"Oh, come on. They'll be perfect for each other!"

"They hate each other!"

"Well so did we! "

Yoongi sighed , returning back to his food. There was no reasoning with Taehyung.

"Hey, what about Hobi hyung's birthday bash? Surprise party?" He looked excited.

Yoongi grinned.

"Sure".

"Awesome ".

~~~~~~~

Yoongi came home for lunch and blinked back tears when he saw that the pancakes were still on the table. Taehyung's room ( it was their room but now Yoongi couldn't refer to it as such ) wasn't open but Yoongi knew the other wasn't inside.

He made himself lunch and left a plate for Taehyung as always.

Jimin was asleep , his snores gentle and melancholy in the late afternoon warmth. Yoongi stared out of the window, wondering how he'd ended up screwing things so bad. It was all his fault. He knew that. Every single thing had been his fault and he wished, oh how he wished that Taehyung would just forgive him.

Yoongi was prepared to wait . However long it took.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you angry?" Taehyung pouted and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"What do you think?" He replied sarcastically, keeping his eyes on the road as he turned at the signal.

"Its Hobi Hyung's birthday party ! Why are you being mean to me?" Taehyung mumbled, fiddling with the straps of his seat belt.

"I'm not being mean. I have a head ache." Yoongi lied, hoping he came off convincing. Truth was,. the party wasn't for Hobi s birthday. It was for Taehyung's promotion, one that he didn't know he'd got. Yoongi had been told to bring him to the venue and to stall for time, they'd decided to drive down to Hobi's house.

He'd already gotten texts urging him to hurry up. Everyone was waiting. it was Jimin's idea that he rile up Taehyung a little so that he wouldn't suspect anything.

It was going pretty well.

They drove the next few minutes in silence and Taehyung started staring at him through the rear view mirror.

"Stop that, you're creeping me out." Yoongi muttered, catching the smirk out of the corner of his eyes.

Taehyung looked unfazed, scooting closer to him.

Yoongi's face was burrowed in concentration.

Taehyung sighed and reached out, fingers resting lightly on his shoulders.

"Its okay if we're a little late, hyung won't mind. " He tried but Yoongi shrugged him off.

"It's not okay. Everyone's waiting for us. I'm supposed to get us there on time." Yoongi muttered.

"Thats fine hyung. Listen, its okay if things go wrong once in a while. I love you just the way you are."

Yoongi felt his stomach flip and wanted to grin and coo and kiss the boy next to him but he swallowed all his instincts.

Taehyung sighed again and settled back against the seat.

Then he grinned impishly and moved closer, finger's brushing Yoongi's cheeks. Shocked, Yoongi jumped and Taehyung placed a kiss on his forehead.

Yoongi blinked owlishly.

"You look much better now." Taehyung said smugly, folding his arms across his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jin came home that evening with a basketful of food. He placed easy kisses on Jimin and Yoongi's cheeks and Yoongi moved to the kitchen.

But not before knocking on Taehyung's door.

"Tae, jin hyung's here." He called out.

Jin bit his lips .

"He's still-?" he asked nervously eyes flitting between the door and Yoongi.

Jimin sighed.

"Yeah. I don't know what to do. It already been two weeks."

Jin bit his lips, his heart aching for Yoongi and tears glistening in his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi cursed as the light turned red. Most of their friends had night shifts. If he didn't get there on time, they might leave before Taehyung even reached the party! Trust him to screw up his own boyfriend's party!

"You look so grumpy." Taehyung blinked.

"I hate myself. " Yoongi groaned, head landing on the steering wheel.

"I hate you too." Taehyung muttered.

Yoongi looked up, turning to the boy next to him.

Another kiss. This one landed square on his lips.

"Bulls-eye!" Taehyung laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yoongi , don't!" Jimin muttered watching as Yoongi pulled things on the floor , searching frantically.

"I have to see him , Jimin. I've got the key to the room and I'm going to go in there and beg him to forgive me!" Yoongi shouted, books and files scattering to the floor as he fumbled through the draws. He finally found the key and Jimin panicked.

"Yoongi , you shouldn't.. This isn't going to make things better..." He tried reasoning but the black haired boy was already moving to the door. The key fit into the slot and Yoongi turned the door.

"You have to forgive me Taehyung! I'm not leaving till you do!" He shouted fingers twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The lights are green, Yoongi." Taehyung traced circles on his thigh and Yoongi swatted him away.

"Stop that." He hissed, slamming on the brakes .

"Stop what?" Taehyung blinked innocently, eyes glinting with mischief.

"Stop making me nervous! I'm driving!" He snapped. Taehyung laughed but kept his hands to himself.

Yoongi's mobile buzzed and Taehyung reached for it, but the other boy quickly snatched it.

"Its.. uh.. my boss.." he muttered lamely, pressing the phone to his ears. Taehyung shrugged and turned back to the window.

Hoseok's shrill voice filled his ear.

"Where the hell are you? We're already late!" He snarled and Yoongi tried not to groan.

"I'm sorry.. sir I'll get it done.. as soon as possible.." He muttered and flipped the phone back off.

"Is the guy giving you a hard time?" Taehyung stared at the phone.

"No.. nothing like that.. " Yoongi shook his head . He turned back to the road , the lights from the opposite lane blinding and fast. Taehyung tried to hug him and Yoongi glared.

"I wish you'd stop doing that.!" He snarled.

Taehyung stopped. Just not in the way either of them expected.

The light in the intersection turned green. Definitely green , Yoongi could still remember that , but the moment they moved to the center, a blue truck came out of nowhere , careening off the divider and crashing into Taehyung's side of the car. The car tipped over with ease, 360 degree rotations that jarred Yoongi';s bones and bruised his ribs and the only thought that shot through him was....

Oh God, don't let Taehyung get hurt!

The car rumbled to a stop and Yoongi blinked back the smoke and dust. His body was paralysed with fear and shock and he turned, frantic. Taehyung was coughing up blood.

"Yoongi" He wheezed.

"Oh, God, Oh my God, Taehyung.. I'm so sorry.,. this is all my fault.. baby.. are you hurt... where does it hurt?" Yoongi asked frantically , tears stinging his eyes and panic building in his chest like a solid entity making breathing difficult and chilling his bones.

"I can't.. move..." Taehyung sounded broken. Yoongi tried to get rid of his seatbelt , thanking the fact that they'd landed the right side up. Taehyung was bleeding from the head but Yoongi refused to be scared. Refused to believe that could be dangerous because , head wounds tend to bleed a lot right? didn't mean they were dangerous...

He reached for Taehyung.

"Make it stop, Yoongi. Please, make it stop.." He sobbed, eyes scrunched tight.

"Forgive me, Oh God forgive me... I'm so sorry.. " Yoongi tried to reach closer but the seat belt kept him away.

"I don't. I don't... forgive you... " Taehyung said, staring striaght into his eyes.

"Tae.. Tae.."

"Because this isn't your fault Yoongi..." He wheezed.

"Tae.., Tae.. don't.. Please don't..."

"Look at me... I love you... This isn't your fault...The pain's better now..." Taehyung attempted a smile and Yoongi felt panic rising up again.

"Tae..."

"Honest... Its so much better now. And warm... I feel good Yoongi... but... I'm not sure I can make it to Blaise's party... say sorry to him for me?" Taehyung coughed and trickle of blood ran down his lips. Yoongi's seat belt gave way and he crawled over fingers brushing away the scarlet rivulet as he buried his face into Taehyung's shoulders, kissing every inch of skin he came in contact with.

"It isn't his. it was yours... It was your party... you got promoted.. And Jin baked cake and Jimin bought that game you wanted... you need to get better soon and playit with me and jung kook.. you will won't you?"

"I.. I did?" Taehyung looked bemused.

"yeah.. and .. Now you can't get to the party.. its all my fault..." Yoongi choked, he was talking about a party, he realized with sudden incredulity. Taehyung was hurt and they were talking about parties. Like nothing happened.

The sound of the ambulance reached his ears.

Strong hands pulled him out and away from Taehyung.

"Yoongi..." It was a pathetic little sound...

"Tae... I'm sorry... Forgive me, please!" Yoongi choked out but the blonde just shook his head.

"I can't accept that apology Yoongi. Its not your fault.."

He smiled weakly, sadly and it was the last smile Yoongi ever saw on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimin pulled Yoongi away from the door, tears trickling down his cheeks.

"Don't do this Yoongi.."

"You don't fucking understand... he's in there and he's mad at me..."

"He isn't in there. Taehyung isn't in there. He's gone. He's not here anymore. He loves you.. he loves all of us... but.. but he can't move on Yoongi... not unless you move on...You have to let him go.... "

Yoongi sobbed , pain crushing him so bad as he sank to his knees.

He knew that. He knew he had to move on. Had to get over the fact that Taehyung wasn't going to see him again, wasn't going to hold him again, wasn't going to kiss him again. But it was so hard.

So fucking hard.

He fell back against his best friend, sobbing into Jimin's chest.

Taehyung Taehyung...Forgive me, Please?

And Taehyung's beloved face floated into his conscience.

No Yoongi. Its not your fault.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ; I’M CRYING.