#yeah the title redacted one has actually had its title redacted lol

[rjalker]

System Collapse is just so bad it'd be funny if not for the completely unnecessary transmisia (That doesn't even fucking make sense lofl).

So here's the things it's not:

It's not plot driven

It's not action driven

It's not mystery driven

It's not character driven

There's just 60,000 ish plus words of a whole lot of nothing happening and us being literally told things are happening.

We're told Murderbot has a Systems Collapse™ 😱 (A horrified emoji clutching its face in fear), and we're told that it's making mistakes.

As in it literally keeps going "I'd fucked that up" "Oh look another mistake I'd made" "I was useless"

But not like, actually making any real mistakes. Martha Wells is continuing the pattern of the 6 first books in the series, where we just get told Murderbot is making mistakes instead of Murderbot actually making mistakes, but this time it's even more glaringly obvious that that's what she's doing because it happens like 50 times. For no reason.

(And not even in a "Murderbot's self esteem is spiraling and it's having a horrible angsty time" way. No. It's fine except for where we keep being told it's not fine. But if you go off of what we're shown, it is, in fact, literally fucking fine. because it's bad writing.)

"not instantly noticing a door on the other side of the giant dark room" is not a mistake worth commenting on. No, not even in an in-universe sense. And especially not worth doing so what felt like fifty fucking times for things just as inconsequential.

If she wanted us to believe that Murderbot was actually making mistakes and performing at sub-optimum efficiency or whatever...how about have it fucking lead a group of humans into a room with people pointing guns at the door and someone gets shot because it wasn't paying attention or couldn't focus? Bonus points if the humans it's babysitting had been trying to draw attention to the problem but it kept shooting them down (No pun intended) and insisting it was the security and it knew what it was doing.

no, we can't do that, because that would require Murderbot to actually makes mistakes that matter.

And with Martha Wells writing, that's never gonna happen because all of her protagonists are overpowered Mary Sues who are never allowed to "lose" in any real way, and that includes making actual mistakes. (And, as many of my other posts have talked about at length, this is also why none of her characters will ever become physically disabled no matter how many times they get blown up or stabbed or shot or eviscerated)

So she's just gonna keep literally telling us that Murderbot is making mistakes about things that are not mistakes and don't actually matter. And that's all that we're ever gonna get.

Even in the book that's supposedly about Murderbot Having A Mental Breakdown 😱 (another horrified emoji).

And just like the rest of the book titles, this one has nothing to do with the actual story being told, at all. It is in fact the worst title so far because it's just so blatantly "clickbait" and a lie. lol.

I literally said aloud to Walks when I was 20 pages in, "I feel like this is gonna be a Steven Moffat".

And yeah, I was right, it literally is.

The first literal 99 pages, not even joking, are just referring to the Systems Collapse™ 😱 (another horrified emoji) the book is named for, and referring to this event, which already happened, offscreen, before this book started, as, literally, redacted.

Implying constantly that it's some huge big traumatic deal with far-reaching consequences and major impacts on our main characters.

And we literally do not even get told what this event was until literally page 99.

And then by page 101 we're done talking about it.

And we are literally told what happened. Not even shown it from Murderbot's perspective.

Because it...wasn't even aware of it at the time. It remembered sitting while the humans were talking, and then its very next memory is waking up in the medical bay, perfectly physically fine as always.

And you may be thinking in petrified horror, "oh gods, what happened during the time it doesn't remember?" and imagining all sorts of plausible and horrible scenarios.

And uhh, well I don't want this post to have any more spoilers than it already does, so I'll make like Martha Wells and just tell you: None of the things you're probably imagining, which would make sense and fit within the story and justify all this drama around the event, are what happened.

What happened, is, like the rest of this book, a whole lot of nothing.

And as I said above. This book is not driven by the plot. It's not driven by a mystery. It's not filled with action. And it's not driven by the characters or their emotions.

Nothing in this book seems to matter, except that we just keep being told it matters, like we're told Murderbot is making mistakes.

I love character-driven stories. If this book were 60+ thousand words of nothing but intense Murderbot introspection and development, I'd have loved it.

But it's not. And there's nothing else to make up for the fact that it's not. All the other books had either interesting action, interesting characters, a lot of funny things, or a lot of sad things. This has exactly none of those things.

It's not funny, it's not sad, it doesn't have any interesting character interactions, the plot, which is overly complicated and doesn't make sense, wastes a whole lot of time doing nothing, and we just keep being told that Murderbot is Especially Traumatized™ right now, but not actually shown this in any way. We did not need to be told that Murderbot was having a mental breakdown in book 5, it was fucking obvious from the way it was acting. We were shown the fact that it was breaking down.

Here? Nope. No show, all tell, and what we're being told isn't even true...probably all of the time, to be honest. There's no point where something bad happens and then Murderbot goes "that was bad". No, the telling isn't a reaction to the showing.

We just get told things and that's supposed to make them true. But that's not how storytelling works.

Oh and all the rest of the problems this series has had until now? yeah Martha Wells is still continuing those. Augmented humans AKA cyborgs AKA disabled people are still explicitly excluded from the group of "human", because Martha Wells saw The Imperial Radch series talking about how THE EVIL FUCKING EMPIRE does not consider disabled people to be human, and decided that was a cool thing to do without...the whole thing where it's evil to do so, and that's the whole fucking point.

Literally the entire point of this in The Imperial Radch is to show that dehumanizing people is something fashists do. But Martha Wells missed that part, so she's just gonna keep dehumanizing disabled people in The Murderbot Diaries as a point of course. With no contemplation by anyone or anything that hey maybe this is a bad thing to do.

She's still still making up millions of excuses to avoid freeing other enslaved people because she thinks robot rebellions are too cliche to be interesting, so the alternative is "don't free slaves whenever you get the chance because ummmm what if they're enslaved for a good reason and decide to murder everyone?" Yeah, we're on book 7 and she's still doing that shit.

She keeps showing us that Murderbot is just as overpowered as the rest of her protagonists, but all of sudden when it comes to freeing other slaves, now all of a sudden poor little Murderbot can't do anything because ummmmmmmmmmmmm it'd have to....*checks notes* hack the security system first. ya know, that thing it's done millions of times? that thing it does without hesitation or trouble literally all the time?

It's like the fucking Democrats every time they win office. Oh no, sorry, they can't actually do anything in this extremely powerful position to help people, they're actually totally powerless and um we should give them more money and more power and then they'll be able to do the bare minimum to help people Vote Blue No Matter Who [heart emoji]

Murderbot can hack anything it wants whenever it wants at any time, and only chooses not to send space stations crashing out of orbit to be polite.

But ohh, as soon as there's another enslaved SecUnit in front of it that it has the power to free, then all of a sudden um there's nothing it can do, it can't hack the security system all of a sudden.

Literally this:

[ID: The meme of someone putting on sunglasses, originally saying, "I can't read suddenly. I don't know." Now edited so the top is captioned, "Murderbot when it's given the chance to free other slaves:", with the person now saying, "I can't hack suddenly. I don't know.". End ID.]

And this isn't a character flaw, this isn't Murderbot being traumatized and falling for the same propaganda that justified it being enslaved.

No, this is all because Martha Wells thinks robot uprising and slave rebellions are too cliche. Literally. They're too cliche. And these people are enslaved because they're so dangerous. So they should stay enslaved. And we're on book fucking 7 so far. So the racism is continuing and there's no sign of it stopping any time soon.

Sarcasm: Slavery is fine apparently as long as you're scared of what the enslaved people will do if you free them! Such great morals. Definitely couldn't have been unpacked in the second book at all.

The first few books were always making excuses not to free other slaves, but they've never been so blatant about being excuses until now. There is genuinely no excuse for keeping this shit up at this point. She's already spent the first 6 books showing us how completely overpowered Murderbot is. Pretending it suddenly can't do anything only when it's time to free other enslaved people is so fucking transparent and racist. Like I said it before and this book is just further cementing the fact that these books, despite the premise, are just slavery apologism at this point. We are on book 7! Seven! you don't need seven fucking books to deal with this shit!

Anyways don't waste money buying this book. Get it from your local library or the Web Archive or borrow from a friend. It's not worth spending money on. If your local library doesn't have it yet, make an Official request for them to get it.

The only thing worth reading it for is so you can see exactly how not to tell a story, because the problems in this one are so fucking glaringly obvious at all times.

Worst Murderbot book published so far. -5/10. Do not recommend. Definitely do not spend money on it.

[candyunicornsateme]

Some of the general story ideas and au ideas I have because fuck it. Maybe it’s not super interesting but it’s fun to write out anyways

Fantasy/SOT-esque au ... Royal Kyle, maybe some magic involved, and a “mysterious” someone he may have to sneak around with. You may have seen me draw this already lol

[redacted] au ... Time period type of thing. A certain two may somehow end up having to deal with Cartman’s bullshit somewhere along the way, but it’s okay because it’s an excuse to be together. Big strangers to lovers vibes. 

Zombie au ... This has been decomposing and transforming in my brain since 2012. Honestly just your typical traveling in a very dangerous situations type of thing, trying to find answers. Also wonderful way to physically hurt Kenny a lot. Yeah I said it.

Post-high school idea... very very old idea at this point but just as they graduate high school Kyle takes notice of Kenny and the following years he is slowly helplessly gravitating to him while in denial of the crush he’s having. Kenny is so very much a cute enigma. Very from Kyle’s pov. 

“darker” idea... this is my most passionate brewing idea I’ve been mentally fleshing out for a long time now, and its so raw in my brain I’ve been Actually Outlining it and I don’t wanna give anything away. Like got a working title and playlist going here. But I can say that in some way Kyle and Kenny are in the same spot, and what happens with Kenny would (will) give Kyle nightmares 

.....uhh and I have one short and sweet Creek idea too but it’s really not that interesting to even summarize I think??? It’s just. Comfort lol. 

I wish I had the fantasy one more fleshed out because I love those vibes and romanticizing the hell out of fairytale-esque shit but I’m stewing hard on the most vague ones here lmao. You have no idea how much I think about writing and often teeter between attempting to write and just working on my big ass to-do drawing list.

Sadly I overthink the hell out of things so writing is a big uphill challenge for me. 

[ivorydice]

WIP Tag Game

I got tagged by @amiyade, thank you!! ✨💖 I’ve seen the rules going around somewhere and it's something like post a list of your current writing projects. Followers are free to ask for more info on any of them, like which characters feature, snippets, extra details, etc. Remember how I said I'm trying to take it easy on myself and not drown myself in WIPs since I'm getting back into actually being productive ahahahahaha yeaaaah *drowns self in WIPs* SO, not a complete list of WIPs, but some things I'm currently focusing on the most. I think I’ve mentioned like most of them anyway lol, BUT HERE WE ARE: 1. The Memory of You (FFXV) -- honestly, this is probably my favouritest fic of mine, which is dumb I know since you'd think I'd have finished it then lol. For those who don't know, Noct and Ardyn are physically de-aged into children (around 7 and 10 years old) by a daemon and are trapped on their own in Cleigne. They have to work together to travel across the country to Hammerhead, where Noct's friends are, but, of course, there are a few hiccups along the way. Enemies-to-friends, Ardyn!redemption, an adventure fic with some cute things, some angsty things and some scary things. MUCH FRIENDSHIP. It now has a playlist on spotify which just makes me feel things instead of write things lmao. I love this fic okay shhhhhhhhh. 2. [title redacted] (FFXV) -- a hurt!Noct body horror fic. After a daemon hunt goes wrong, and after having a strange sudden fever, Noctis begins to descend into “madness”. Nightmares, paranoia, hallucinations, the lot. His friends are majorly concerned about his mental state, but Noctis is convinced there's something more to it. If this fic had a soundtrack it’d be like all synthwave and shit, and yes of course that’s an important detail lmaooo 3. nemo (FFXV) -- daemonised-imperial-weapon!Noct. Pre-game, canon divergence and all that. Noctis has been transformed and brainwashed into killing for the empire, he's seen as a feral beast and a mindless killing machine, Ardyn is a little too obsessed with him, and there's a secret plot to rescue and bring Noctis back home. 4. Conceal (working title) (FFXV) -- a simple one-shot of bros taking care of Noctis, who has been poisoned and has a fever, basically because I wanted more warm and concerned Gladio lmao. Basically just a caretaking fic. 5. What the Shadows Hide (working title) (Merlin) -- an assassin is loose in Camelot and Arthur has been cursed to lose each of his senses one by one. Featuring a lot of angst on Arthur's part as he struggles to cope with becoming far too physically vulnerable for his liking, and awesome-servant!Merlin who tries his best to help. 6. untitled Merlin/Mordred (Merlin) -- listen Merthur is my otp, and this fic is just in the planning/daydreaming stages, but I am SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED in this fic idea for some reason and I just need to acknowledge that it exists okay, basically S5 AU where Merlin decides to give Mordred a chance, tells Mordred about his fated role in Arthur's death, and then it's a long journey of becoming friends and then more, which Merlin struggles with because it feels like a betrayal to Arthur and Mordred is like STFU you’re dumb and we're both loyal to him. Anyway basically: good!Mordred, enemies-to friends-to lovers, secret relationship, two sneaky adorable sorcerers trying their best to protect their king and each other ANYWAY I think I'll stop there lol because we'll be here forever. I have a ton of Merlin ideas written down but I’m not actively working on them yet, there are a couple of new FFXV ideas that I've kept off this list because the subjects are heavy, and my Supernatural ideas are currently all variations of Sam recovering from Hell trauma (except the big Silent Hill inspired fic which consists of powerful psychic Sam AND hell trauma). ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAY. I’m gonna gently tag @breakfastteatime @deducitetemporacarmen @kaelinaloveslomaris @every-lemon @glaivenoct @marmolita but no pressure. Anyone else wants to do this, consider yourself tagged!

[nny11writes]

13, 16, 18, 43 and 50 for tha ask game please and thank you :P Just, many many numbers lol

13. What is your planning process?

My first reaction was to squint and go “Do I have a process?” which is probably an answer on its own lol!

It depends is the actual answer.

Like most writers I start a fic because of one scene or dialogue or description that I really, really, really wanted to write and then I have to figure out where it belongs.

I almost always start by just...writing. I used to be 100% stream of consciousness writer. I’d sit down at least once a day with a blank document and without ANY forethought or direction I’d start writing a fic. It was always as much fun for me as my readers to see where a story would go because I literally had no clue.

These days, as I’m putting THE THING down on the page my brain is shrieking ideas at me so I start slapping them down too, but I’ve got a better filter so not everything goes down. There’s a lot of [WHAT IS THIS THING PLS PLS FIGURE IT OUT] and [PAST OR PRESENT TENSE MF MAKE UP YO MIND] at this stage.

This is where I actually start planning. I’ve got a bunch of stuff down, a vague direction, and a lot of ideas so this is usually where I sit down to do some planning. Am I aiming to write a short fic or long fic, one shot or multi-chapter, where are we, how many characters, etc. I leave things pretty wide open, while sometimes it’s fun to challenge myself to meet very specific goals it’s usually frustrating to me so nothing is set in stone. Literally. Even when I’ve posted if someone leaves a comment that’s amazing or enough people liked it I’ll usually try to write more in that fic or another fic with those ideas.

How To Quit You is a great example of how my loosey goosey planning works. I don’t know if people realize but that fic was originally supposed to be ONLY that first chapter. I wrote it in an hour tops for 2019 glitra week and all I knew at that point was I wanted to do a western with some romance tropes to it (hence the exes who still love each other thing).

Once I realized how many people seemed to love it and wanted to see more I sat down and planned it out. I first decided how I wanted to write the story (hence going back in time ~15 years) and then I created chapter titles and had vague descriptions for them.  Once it was all down I went through it again and made adjustments, then created a timeline (Micah died in 1868, they meet in 1870, Catra works BMR rails 1870-1880 min, etc etc). And that’s it.  I made an outline and used it as my idea bouncing ground and map and huge parts of it have changed as we’ve gone along. Catra was going to become a drunkard out in [REDACTED] after the timeline met up with chapter one. I scrapped that because it didn’t fit with other details and changes I’d made. I re-wrote the chapter and now I gotta scrap that and re-write it again do to reasons that would spoilers.

Let’s Try This Again is another hilarious example, because chapters 1-6 were meticulously planned and I charted out a whole story around them that I was going to stick to damn it all! And then Palpatine hip checked me and changed the course of the story. I still included a lot from my original VERY detailed outline, but some chapters were nixed completely and others added in too sooooo...

I’m not a true pantser because I do some planning, but I’m not a planner because I leave huge chucks practically up to the whims of fate. I’m a plantser.

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Sometimes! 

I think some of my best works are from prompts (WHICH ARE ALWAYS OPEN, HINT HINT, NUDGE NUDGE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN KNOW WHAT I MEAN) specifically.

I rarely use sentence starters but I think I’ve done okay when I did.

But fandom headcanons? Oh hell yeah baby now we’re talking!

Can Anakin cook but Padme can’t? Hell yeah!

Togruta have some cat like features so Ahsoka is obligate carnivore and color blind? WOOOOOOOO BOYYYYYYYYYYYY!

"This is not because I like you.” is 100% something that everyone in the Horde says when trying to cover their asses, Catra’s just a useless lesbian and has to use it A Lot More Than Most. Awwwwww yeah, that’s the good stuff!

Glimmer and Catra talk to one another but only have serious conversations sitting back to back post canon. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES!

Like, god, fandom headcanon is practically what my fics live on lol! I’m not great at writing things in canon or sticking to canon, and people are amazing and smart so of course I’m going to steal their cool ideas and then mess with them until they’re my own.

18. What is your favorite writing prompt?

...I gotta be honest I have no clue lol. I’ve liked basically every prompt I’ve ever gotten (there’s literally only been 2 that I got and went “...oh.” and of those two I was able to bend the prompt into things I liked a lot! One of them is actually posted and people like it, and then other is currently sitting in the naughty prompt corner for crimes of FIGHTING ME TO A STANDSTILL every time I write a few sentences for it, but I do actually like it now lol).

I think my favorite style of prompt are ones that are open for some interpretation. You know that joke about you know a writer based on how they respond to a one word prompt like “fall” or “cold” or even “love”? I love that kind of stuff! Heck, even things with a more narrow focus are fun to play with. For one of my prompt fics I was able to flip the script and have the character everyone expects the unrequited pining from to instead be the unattainable beloved instead.

*Marge potato meme* I just think they’re neat!

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

None, because I am very loud about what I enjoy and refuse to have things I enjoy ripped away by strangers on the interwebs.

Okay, more seriously, as far as things that others might think are guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

I love a good “morons to repressed idiots to lovers” slow burn. Yes, yesssss, let them be absolute fools and make MASSIVE mistakes that they have no reason to make. There was a miscommunication? Delightful! Oh look, they’re both flirting with one another but think the other one is just joking around with them. I WILL TAKE ANOTHER 200K OF THEM SUFFERING THANK YOU!

I love AUs man, every time I see someone who really hates coffee shop AUs or highschool AUs or modern AUs I end up getting grumpy and I go find some of those AUs to read because I love them. The AUs I love the most change fandom to fandom. Not a huge fan of modern AU for star wars, but an absolute slut for them in She Ra. Palpatine chokes on a bagel and I live, but if that happened to Horde Prime I’d be pissed. *shrug* I just know that some people really don’t like or even outright hate AUs, and I do not understand them at all. Like, good for them and I hope they find the fics they do enjoy! But also, why???????

I think my “cringiest” one is that I actually really like A/B/O as long as they flip the script somehow or delve into how something like that would actually effect the world it exists in. Is sex in public a common and acceptable thing b/c they can’t control themselves? Do jobs and schools give people time off for heats and ruts? Is it considered antiquated and anyone who struggles with their biology is considered lazy or stupid? Do celebrities sometimes get in trouble with fans or even lose their jobs/prestige after showing off their new mating mark? GIVE ME THE WORLD BUILDING I WANT TO KNOW! But if it’s a really boring traditional A/B/O...like, what’s the point there? 

Please don’t misunderstand me here. These three examples are all things that are WILDLY stupid in their own rights, and I love them dearly both because of and regardless of that!

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

It’s All Fun and Games Until...Stop! Stop! We’re Already Gay!

AKA the one where they all go to Mystacor to relax in the steam grotto and have to deal with seeing one another in tight fitting and wet underwear. The thirst is high.

“So…” Bow started conversationally as Sea Hawk put the finishing touches on Bow’s freshly painted nails. “How doomed are they? Are we making bets?”

Mermista and Sea Hawk made significant eye contact before looking at him pitifully. 

“What?” Bow asked, starting to sweat nervously. “What!?”

“Nothing, just-” Sea Hawk didn’t even get to finish.

“You need to get your girlfriend to get her girlfriends under control, and like, I knooooow that’s a tall order or whatever. But uuuuuuuuugggggghhh, we are going to die.”

“Girlfriend!?” Bow’s voice cracked painfully. “Ha! A-ha! Ha! W-who? I don’t, I don’t have a girlfriend, what are you even talking about?”

“Uuuuuggggggghh!”

“There, there my dear. We have survived worse.”