#yeah thatd be embarrassing

[orcelito]

Several months late, the landlord finally picked up the dehumidifier from my kitchen

Would've been nice had I been told they were coming though 💀 so I could've cleaned up the grocery bags on the floor that I hadn't put away yet 💀💀💀💀💀

[theoryofwhatnow]

have you guys seen that one artist who draws like, graphic, gorey, gothic romantic pieces of her and her husband?

that’s gonna be me when i fall in love. if not, i’ll fall down the religious pipeline like the gay artist on twitter who draws jesus.

[cityofstarsx]

Whenever I make buns I eat like half the batter and never feel the consequences of my actions but I ate a little extra today and guys I do NOT feel good

[juliusleafeon]

do people post edits on here 0_o

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Pokes u

Do you have Barnacles Headcanons to share with his wife (aka me)

YES also sorry for the late response lol uhhh this is mostly just stuff from my au lol and its got different world building than the show does

Ok first off some context, in my au the reasons for PEOPLE species to have different traits is more based on environmental factors and conflicts between other groups of people. 👌

There are definitely some wild species that aren't even intelligent enough to have nearly any sapience (in simple terms its self awareness) that would probably end up being food or wtv, but like going based off of irl stuff polar bears mostly need high fat diets and unless there are a TON extra of high fat food fish thatd make the arctic pretty hard to survive

Unless ofc 👀 well they are PEOPLE people so u can convince me they'd have somehow domesticated either musk or (hoofed arctic animal) or bred some other kind of milk producing animal as a source of food

All I'm saying is that he could and would and has eaten an entire wheel of cheese before

And he absolutely has a secret stash of high fat snacks because I think he might be a liiiiittttle bit self conscious about it

Because he realized that arctic animals and non arctic animals have HUGE differences in social norms and apparently most animals don't have at least 3 inches of fat minimum on their entire body???

And its not cuz hes embarrassed of the fat, its normal and healthy, he just doesn't want to go from Trustworthy and Reliable Captain of thr Octonauts to "oh my god i need like an entire cheesecake rn to feel normal" in front of everyone cuz like 😭 he is a bit of a comfort eater. Like ah yes our strong and level headed captain is eating an entire box of oreos at 2 am because he misses his sister again 😭

Ofc the others do find out but there isn't any judgement if anything kwazii would probably join him, bro has a history of having weird food habits (hm wonder why... surely nothing related to being shipwrecked on an island and having to survive) and its nice

He does like, have THE best snacks tho and he might be hoarding them just a tiny bit-

he also can feel a bit worried about coming off as too large or intimidating so thats why he's always got his hands on his hips- and his head lowered down a bit

its not that he seems like physically scary but a larger presence can be intimidating for a lot of people

Teeth and claws aren't usually seen as intimidating in most scenarios in this world because its so common and is just like a feature of the species the same way hearing or smell can be btw

so yeah someone threatening to scratch ya can be scary but so can someone being able to find you because they can hear ur heartbeat 💀🙏

Back to the main point, like all the other octonauts aren't even like medium sized animals (like wolves and whatever), there ALL very small species. So hes like way in the upper range, the highest and tallest possible species while everyone else are all smaller ones specifically

So if barnacles is Actually Mad (💀 the scenario to make him genuinely mad has to be BAD) then he will go to his FULL HEIGHT

Cuz irl polar bears got very tall strong necks and etc so I think him standing at Full Serious Height would be very startling

Also about polar bears sense of smell!

Circling back to the adaptations being related to survival pressures and social ones

Polar bears in this world, use their sense of smell for something very important in the arctic: navigation, above and below water

It prevents things like getting lost in the wintery white world, which is so so easy for others. It can help find others than might be lost, and it can tell u if they r injured or not and I think thats precious

there is one problem tho, while their sense of smell is VERY strong, stronger than bloodhounds and etc, its made for being able to detect things very far away in freezing temperatures... so they're extremely sensitive

Which wouldn't be that much of an issue if barnacles wasn't in all sorts of more tropical environments...

In thr artic all u can smell is other people, animals, and which was is home

But if he's not in the octopod or under the water,but somewhere where there's THOUSANDS of insects,hundreds of pollinating plants, and tons and tons of different creatures all at once-

I think thats be overwhelming and he's probably be allergic to sooooooo many plants poor guy 🥺

Also even tho he like trims and thins out his thick coat, and even has a little cooling pack vest sort of thing under his uniform he can still overheat pretty easily

Cuz yk, the several inches of brown fat or blubber? Someone might say "hey just adjust ur diet and whatever to lose it" but that would be VERY UNHEALTHY for him... mess with the balance of his bodys systems yk? so its really not an option;^;

So yeah he still tends to overheat and thats why having his room canoncially set to actual arctic temperatures every night helps him sleep better and feel better

Usually alot of octonauts missions happen under water or in gups or maybe they'll spend some time on an island and it'll be hot

But with extended time spent in warmer climates he has to take alot more breaks and it can be alot harder for him

Also I think that he had a period in his early 20s college years where he was like kinda lowkey depressed because he was learning more about global warming and capitalism

, it didn't last too long fortunately because yk he met professor inkling who was already developing his idea for the octonauts

and they actuslly became really good friends and it really came together as a realistic thing when tweak got wind of em

On a more depressing note global warming for polar bears in a world where they're actual people with a unique culture and heritage means some totally different stuff

Like its not even the fact they can't even engage in their own cultural traditions (cough traveling in that one arctic global warming special where they were all exhausted cuz all the melted sea ice cough)

Its also the loss of genuine homes (in my au they're kinda like ice hobbit houses 🥰since polar bears irl will dig out shallow resting spots or mama bears will have dens with a toasty 30 degrees farenheit), architectural collapses, traditional jobs that can only be done in the arctic being lost, and being forced into more southern grounds because more and more just can't rely living there anymore

And I think that'd be super depressing to see in real time, its a cultural death

Heck even irl there's so many grizzlies going north and polar going south that they've actually started to mix and start having hybrids (grolar bears). And the thing is they're so genetically compatible that their species can actually develope into their own separate identity that might totally replace most if not all polar bears sense they're just more adapt to the changing climate and have more range,with benefits from both species

And while that sounds great on paper and makes sense and is obviously fine for them to have easier lives, I think in thr context of this world it would leave barnacles with some conflicted feelings

Because the thing is there used to be concerns about polar bears having to leave their homes to live is societies and communities that just... that their jobs wouldn't fit to. That would be physically harder for them to be healthy in. That they'd have to give up so many thousands of years of traditions thatd be impossible to carry over in.

Idk its late and I've got one braincell and idk if this makes sense and im sorry if it got depressing 😭

But yeah, so there's more and more of these younger people grolar bears, that just... will never have that full connection to their heritage. And idk I think its sad and maybe I'm projecting

Also I think that if barnacles was ever sad he'd just cope by playing the accordian lol,like the one meme of the girl playing "its a mental breakdown ✨" on a kazoo 😭

Let's end this on a happier note tho, circling back to barnacles being several feet taller than his entire crew, like-

We all already know this guy emotionally adopts every living being in sight

And well, his ENTIRE CREW literally, and I mean very literally and physically, looks up to him-

Like they all gotta turn their heads up and loon at him with big hopeful eyes ready for whatever he has to say

And im gonna be honest his composure is alot stronger than mine cux I would CRY because of how adorable that is

Like he knows its probably so unprofessional and might be seen as condescending BUT DAMN IT HE CANT HELP THR CUTENESS AGRESSION!!! HE WANTS TO SQUISH THEIR TINY FACES!!!

so sometimes hell have a very Serious and Leadership-like Captain Conversation, and then thr SECOND hes out of their sight (and hopefully hearing) HE JUST HAS TO STOP HIMSELF FROM JUST CRYING-

Cuz the second hes out of sight he will LOSE ALL COMPOSURE and need a minute because he loves them so much AND THEYRE SO FCKING SMALL-

Its kinda funny tho cuz ur captain barnacles is a pretty tiny guy, wonder howd that work for u XD

Anyways gn or whatever time it is for u 🐻‍❄️✨✨✨

Also he and Bianca call at least every week for an hour and frequently send eachother updates about what they're up to

He could talk to her about anything and she's good at talking sense into him

He makes sure that natquick gets plenty of social interaction too, that man is like his father figure

(Kinda sad but I headcanon barnacles dad died when he was really young cuz of an accident where ice collapsed, probably did not help how he felt when he got stuck in an icy hole as a kid 💀🙏)

ALSO

Barnacles looking up at u vvv

Barnaclea being his lil theater kid self^

Wait~ they don't love you ✨like I love you ✨🥰

Barnacles half awake at a late night mission when everything is done and they're just driving the gup a back home

Barnacles and Bianca on a video call

[ponyboysgf]

more johnny cade head canons we yell

if you have anymore lololol

also maybe some on aftercare w/ him and really bad overstimulation from user? thatd be peak..

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Over stim + After care w / — ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴄ.

────୨ৎ────

⋆·˚ ༘ * — warnings : unprotected sex, p in v, overstimulation, sort of subby Johnny

⋆·˚ ༘ * — A/N : i dont think i have anymore dating johnny hcs but i will write you guys a little blurb instead🤤.

────୨ৎ────

Johnny’s head was spinning at this point, having came 3 times already, and now being denied his fourth one.

“I-I can’t take it, need to cum.” He whined through heavy breaths, you sat perched on his lap gently bouncing up and down as you continued to draw out his orgasm.

His hands gripped your hips, his fingers shaking against your skin, his face flushed and his fluffy, ungreased hair a mess.

“Not yet.” You said, continuing to ride him, he whined in return. His hands gripping your side faster as he tried to speed up your motion, trying to get the orgasm he so desperately needed.

Johnny’s head was mush at this point, and you decided it was time to finally let him release.

You continued to ride him, speeding up as you began kissing him.

Johnny kissed you back with desperation, his face flushed and hot from the clear embarrassment of how desperate he was for you.

As Johnny felt his orgasm approaching, he pulled away, beginning kissing your neck.

“Where do you want it?” He breathed against your skin.

You felt your orgasm approaching as well as you began clenching down on Johnny.

“Stomach.” You moaned out as you felt yourself release.

After feeling your release, Johnny couldn’t hold it in anymore, he immediately flipped you on your back, climbing between your legs as he wrapped his hands around his cock, stroking a few times before long ropes of cum shot out.

Johnny whimpered as he stroked his overworked cock.

After the two of you were done, not like Johnny could go on even if you begged him to.

Johnny sat between your legs, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took, his hand rose to his face as he began wiping the small tears forming at the corner of his eyes that he didn’t even know were there.

“Did I do good?” Johnny asked, seeking your praise, smiling at you as he leaned forward and brushed the hair sticking to the sweat on your forehead.

“So good.” You replied, out of breath.

Johnny kissed your forehead and got up, walking to the bathroom and running the sink for a little bit before coning back with a warm wash cloth.

Johnny began wiping your stomach, cleaning up the release he worked so hard for before he continued to clean up the rest of you.

Of course you could clean up yourself, but it always felt special when Johnny did, plus he always insisted so why not give the man what he wants? Does not apply to orgasms btw

After he cleaned you up, you went to the bathroom while he pulled the sheets off the bed, throwing them in the wash and putting the extra ones on.

When you returned, Johnny was in his pjs and he had laid out comfy clothes for you on the bed, which you eagerly changed into, feeling like you were freezing out in the open.

After you finished changing, Johnny beckoned you onto the bed with him, you smiled and crawled on the bed with him.

Almost immediately, he wrapped his arms around you and began spooning.

“You did so good, baby.” He said, kissing your neck.

Your face flushed, “You did, too.” Remembering how well he took being denied his orgasm.

“I love you, you know that, right?” Johnny asked, continuing to kiss your neck.

“Yeah, I love you too.” You smiled, reaching over to your nightstand, flipping off the light before you snuggled back into Johnny’s arms, who was more than half asleep at this point, feeling exhausted after today’s events.

But you couldn’t even be mad at him because you fell asleep shortly after.

[umbreoncomplex]

clay lives au where he very quickly enters stardom as a famous astronaut after hat-2, especially being the youngest astronaut ever. but apollo still doesnt really tell anyone about them. he mentions his childhood friend or will sometimes mention him by the name clay but that's about it. says his friend likes space and works at a space center but doesn't say much else. and it's not like its the clay terran. thatd be dumb. right?

and as friends do he loves telling embarrassing stories like when clay tried piercing his ear using a pen. so everyone apollo is friendly with knows about clay, apollos childhood friend whos a huge fucking idiot that can't be trusted with a microwave. and then clay shows up the waa. unannounced, of course. athenas like 💭(HOLY SHIT CLAY TERRAN?? WHAT'S HE DOING HERE) and trucys like jawdropped. and apollo rolls his eyes and groans and like "well if it isn't sir dirt dirt. what do you want clay?" and everyones like "THATS CLAY???" apollos like "? yeah. what about it. do you want to see the scar from his failed piercing" and clays like "how could you! i thought you swore yourself to secrecy. we even made a fake nda" "should've made me sign a real one then"

[iwaasfairy]

Faiwyyy, àll these mentions of mirror mirror and indelible and jskdkd of course oikawa and atsuko, now i'm thinking about either satoru-nii or stepdad gojo in a hotd/got modern verse 🥹

Yan!Satoru-nii who does everything to prevent his little sis from being arranged to be married to the Zen'in clan or

Yan!Stepdad Satoru who only agree to be married to your mom because his end goal is you, who has the most ideal technique to be paired with the six eyes and limitless

I'm sorry but like the lack of gojocest fic is just 😔

Is thERE A LACK ???? 👁️👁️ bC I WIll gladly step up to the plateeee omfjdjdkgkg I mean there’s not enough hours in the day for me to write all the fics I wanna write but yeA YOURE SO RIGHT ꒰๑˃͈꒵˂͈๑꒱୭̥*ﾞ̥♡⃛ THATD BE SOOOO SEXXXyYYY I love satoru nii so much I have always loved the idea of big brudder satoru having a blossoming crush on his little sister anD ITs honestly mean n gross that I haven’t gotten to write it yet >:/

Skkskdkdmffj I can just imagine satoru being like the,,, he was the only child for a while until you, so now he’s just got an insane fascination for each of you stuff n seeing himself mirrored in you and it’s not like he wants to make you into him,,, it’s just that you look so fucking adorable following big brother’s lead. definitely if you’re kinda wide eyed and naïve n trust him too much for your own good. double definitely when you’re so dependant on him that you let him do whatever

like watching you as you undress and putting his hands all over n pinching and playing with your body until you can’t stand it. or sticking his fingers or sometimes him tongue into your mouth. or asking you to help him out, but really he just wants to embarrass you by putting you on your knees between his legs n shoving your head into his crotch, or holding you there, or generally just putting his crotch near you at all. and making you touch him “like this, like this, good girl—“ through his underwear even though you don’t understand what he gets out of it.

because then he always asks “do you like your big brother? you like me, yeah?” and “how much?” and he’s always so touchy with you and he dotes on you and he calls you a smart girl or such a good little sister when you listen to him,,, so of course you wanna help. Even if he has some weird requests

[gorbo-longstocking]

The way I dropped everything once I saw the update. Who cares about preparing for an anatomy test where 90% is the passing grade and everything below that is a fail – Reading about silly gingers and their medicus is more important🙂‍↕️

Loved this chapter so much!! I want to scream/pos. Caracalla was so embarrassing – made my face go red. I feel if I were Alga I would physically explode... but he's also so cute!! So in love!!!

And Geta...he was cute at first... melting under Alga's headscratches... precious, dare I say. BUT OF COURSE HE HAD TO RUIN THIS!! GODDD get this man a journal and pen – having a diary would save him. OR AT LEAST PREVENT HIM FOR BLOWING UP LIKE THIS AT POOR ALGA!!! And then he wonders why his feelings are not mutual. Or why Alga is not calling him by his name. GETA!! The call is coming from inside the house!!!

I will confess that reading about Alga throwing things at Geta was a bit satisfying, although I also felt a certain amount of pity towards this dumb emperor. Like, yeah he was a huge dick... but damn. This man cannot handle having a crush😞

"God, you’d never be able to watch the sun set without crying again," — And now even reminding Alga of the sunset won't save him...he really is digging his own grave.

Also, very important:

"“Wait until your prostate exam where I shove a finger up your behind, that will show you.”

Geta gasped, affronted. Perhaps you shouldn't have said that. “You will do no such thing!”" — This made me laugh so hard I forgot how to breathe for a moment.

NOOOOO GO STUDY FOR YOUR ANATOMY TEST FREAKY GINGERS CAN WAIT!!! in all seriousness, good luck omg i suck at test taking so i know how dire they can be gaaahhhhh. manifesting you get a FULL 100% best in the class amen!!!

i always address caracalla so im gonna fixate on geta this response because we ALL know caracalla is in gay love but GETA. OH THAT FOOL. he needs more than a diary his ass needs a mood stabilizer at this rate. he’s so, so deeply fascinating. half of the reason for his crashout is his nightmares of alga have all been just them leaving him, and then he wakes up from one of said nightmares and theyre GONE. WHEN HE ASKED THEM TO STAY???? YOU ABANDON GETA??? YOU ABANDON HIM LIKE TRASH????

originally alga was not supposed to crashout back, but i think they deserved to. get his ass my sweet green baby, attack him like a feral dog. funny story about geta’s feelings not being mutual is like. the crazy part is they are. alga is just oblivious when it comes to emotional affairs. besides theyre already in love with caracalla, surely they couldnt have a crush on his brother. thatd be absurd!!!!

geta staring through a crack in the clinic door to see alga and caracalla tangled together and asleep absolutely seething in incomprehensible self loathing. i hate him. i love him. i cant wait for him to cry in chapter 13

ALSO IM SO GLAD THAT MADE YOU LAUGH!!! i sent the prostate exam line to like five people asking them if i should keep or delete. RESOUNDING keep.

[redactedwriting]

i have this really ridiculous but also maybe kinda hot idea of ryan unexpectedly going into heat while the band is at the cabin. idk if its an a/b/o thing or just. a thing. that he suddenly gets really really insatiably horny and needy. he tries to just ignore it/take care of it himself at first but no matter what he does his body wont relax and give him a break, its been like three days straight that hes been wrestling with a constant buzz of arousal. and its turning him into an irritable bitch. spencers best friend insticts tell him that something is wrong w ryan and that its something personal, otherwise he wouldve come to them already by now, so he asks ryan privately wtf is up with him. and ryan breaks down crying about how he doesnt know whats wrong with him, he just feels so on edge all the time, empty, unsatisfied, and spencers like ????? are you depressed????? and ryan is like no. literally, physically. im, its like. i need to have sex. and spencers like. oh. ummmm right. is something up between you and keltie? is there a reason you havent invited her down? and ryan shrugs and says hes tried thinking about keltie but it doesnt help, he needs-- and he shakes his head really fast because its way too embarrassing to admit, he needs to be fucked. but its true. he aches for it. he always thought he could just repress his lust for guys forever, but apparently, for whatever reason, his body has decided that thats no longer an option, hes being forced to confront it. maybe hes tried fingering himself and maybe hes been too shy to use a toy but he already knows it wont satisfy him the way a cock would. maybe hes tried sating himself with a butt plug but it only made him more needy and desperate and pissy.

anyway. spencer is off the table to help out because, in ryans words, "absolutely not, youre like my baby brother, thatd be weird" and jon is straight, but brendon...brendon could work. ryan is hesistant because they already sort of have a weird homoerotic friendship going, and hes scared what having sex will awaken in him. but he needs and when he tells brendon his dilemma, brendon is more than willing to help out. at the first press of someone elses fingers inside him, ryan moans, already feeling more satisfied and filled than he ever was on his own. then brendons cock is amazing. ryan whines and spreads his legs and pushes up into it and cant even be bothered to have any shame or embarrassment anymore, this is what he needed and now hes getting it. after cumming once, ryan already feels way calmer and more capable of focusing on other things. but if the heat comes back. (which it definitely does). at least he knows who to turn to:)

ryan in heat my beloved....shyly asking brendon to fuck him and brendon is like YEAH OKAY :D, way more enthusiastic than ryan feels because he is quite literally desperate to be filled to the point of misery. anyways brendon gets inside him and ryan moans so loudly that brendon, of all people, tells him to quiet down because they don't wanna wake the guys up. ryan nods and goes pink and covers his face in his arms and moans into them, fucking himself back agaisnt brendon. brendon says some stupid shit like "you really needed this, huh?" and ryan just nodssss...

[questionthedompler]

James was certainly a character; do you ever think about him? Would you like to see him again and if so what would you do/say?

look when a guy walks in and not only wrecks the room youre stuck in and makes fucking stupid demands (a DRESS and a fucking CASSEROLE) before tearing your nose off your fucking face you cant help but think about him from time to time no matter how much i try not to

i havent seen him since it happened and to be brutally honest dudes i dont know WHAT id do if i saw him

id like to say id yell at him or try to hit him but you know i work out every day and my arms get so tired cuz of it so i probably wont try to hit the guy cuz thatd be embarrassing for him like i get it he deserves to be fucking humbled especially by ME but nah i wouldnt do that

maybe id just turn and leave because if pim is with me when i see the dude i dont want to put him at risk of the guy and his psychotic behavior cuz if he punched pim i think pim would just straight up die

what im getting at dude is that i dont know what id do so yeah lets not think about it

[poetryandfluffycats]

do you think if you fucked mayoi in the walls/vents of the es building and he was loud there'd be a new ghost story going around? bc i do and. yeah i want to see him all embarrassed when he finds out we were heard.

(ive been lurking for a while... can i be 🥐 anon.. im def not the person who has been coming here to speak shu thoughts thatd be insane (i am that was me))

this is actual such a fun idea perhaps one day I shall steal it and create a full fic of it. public and semi-public sex with mayoi is mmmm because he gets so squirmy and blushy and embarrassed and he's trying so hard to not let those noises out but since your fucking him so good he can't help it. his whimpers would be like 100 times louder and slutier and that makes the experiance 100 times better for the both of you

ofc you can be 🥐anon I'll add u to the list

[flmed]

CHARACTER SHEET.

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

full name.   johann frederick dreyman

nicknames / aliases. jo. j. jbear. commie jo. silvertongue.

height.   6 ' 1 / 184.

age.   46 - 50.

zodiac.   leo sun. taurus moon. gemini rising.

spoken languages.   german. english. french. russian. italian. intermediate dutch. intermediate greek. intermediate darija. now learning japanese bc @wellfell &. some spanish ..

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

hair colour.   dark brown, black

eye colour.   dark brown.

skin tone.   he's white; when he is embarrassed or blushing, he will easily have red cheeks, but he likes to get sun-tanned in greece.

body type.  mesomorph.

dominant hand.   right. but he practices his left hand for trickery.

posture.   he exercises so he doesn't have bad posture, but pulling a muscle once in a while is inevitable..

scars.   burnt scar on lower back near back dimples on right because fire wood ceiling fell to his back. nobody could see it unless you have sex with him. some faded scars from childhood on his abdomen

tattoos.   no.. he doesn't like to have tattoos on his body because it lasts for a lifetime &. he wishes his partner won't have silly, meaningless tattoos lmfaaoo.

birthmarks.   under jaw on left, moles on his chest &. back.

most noticeable features.   his eyes. he has those bambi eyes &. when hes smiling he looks like 😁 emoji, his long neck because he doesn't like to wear a tie .. his handsome features duh.

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 .

place of birth.   karlsruhe, germany. but his mother returns to untertürkheim, stuttgart, which is not really far away but jo will say he's from there because he was raised there

siblings.  none but has cousin, nina.

parents.   martha dreyman &. uwe günter.

𝐀𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

occupation.  general counsel for Frei-Libertas, a security company that provides security service that's almost .. working under the shadow hence he never truly talks about his company exactly.

current residence(s).   an apartment in nyc. a house in london. houses in berlin &. stuttgart, and lakehouse in strausberg, outside berlin &. summerhouse in paros, greece. most of verses i tend to make him live in nyc, &. he's suffering there 😭.

close friends.    @parieur 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. but for npcs thatd be timothy maier, fellow friend from his first job in law firm. some ' artists ' friends but those chiff is majorly closest friend.

relationship status.   single, divorced, ready to mingle. he has no children so .. yeah. he has several situationships too ig.

driver’s license.   yes. he drives up to 200km/h+ in autobahn with his porsche .. driver's license is needed.

criminal record.   not really. he was questioned for his mother's death.

vices.   pride. that's one biggest vice.

𝐒𝐄𝐗 & 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 .

sexual orientation.   bisexual with women-leaning .. unlike having sex with women, jo is more selective &. has to know the men partner because of his pride.

preferred sexual role.   dominant. there's no other than being a dominant ..

libido.    high, heh.

turn-ons.   when you kiss his neck,, he'll sigh whilst playing with your hair but you must have dark hair .. even good if it's long because uh .. he likes to play with it. oh yeah &. 🍑 but issa okay if 🍒, he's just a man..

turn-offs.   lack of response to his foreplay/dirty talk .. become bossy/possessive like ' you belong to me '

love language.   physical touch &. quality time &. gift giving.

relationship tendencies.    he aims to have a partner who's equally in his field of business/same profession for safety, understanding reasons &. seeks tad younger around 3-5 years BUT WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THIS IS THAT HE ALWAYS HAVE PARTNERS IN STORYLINES WHO ARE FAR YOUNGER THAN HIM &. A RESULT FROM WHIM ONS/FLINGS GSKSG. so sex is majorly reason he's with the person because emotionally invested in building a relationship is '???" bc their first approach is sex. but truthfully he's affectionate, loving person but he won't verbally establish that he's exclusive with them unless there's a discussion about it hence it feels like fleeting. BUT he wants to have a child from loving relationship without marrying each other.. he'll cook, buy you things, &. will prods you about things he thinks :// unless you tell him that you don't like him to do so bc that means that's who they're &. how comfortable they're to be like that with him. he'll call you darling, beloved, but if he calls you liebe, meine liebe, mein leben ; he loves you.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒 .

hobbies to pass time.   playing guitar, trumpet, or piano if he has it. or reading and watch some foreign films, builds car legos/miniatures, driving his motorcycle or car, builds some DIY projects like table .. build his own car IF HES REALLY THAT BORED GAKAGALAB.

mental illnesses.    diagnosed depression lolz. c-ptsd.

self-confidence level. mf has big confidence unless you crush it on first try; he doesn't like to make mistakes.

. . tagged by @cartelheir

. . tagging @0brighta @foxtaeil @songb1rd @medicbled @solarisgod @crimeclean &. anyone else fr ..

[sweepweep]

Ok so I have reached the end of Totally Spies season 3 which was a three parter and it is wild like always.

1. The girls got a promotion is super spies or something along with this random dude who they said was the most exceptional because when he was a baby he saw an action movie playing in the hospital he learned martial arts right then and there. As a newborn baby.

2. This same man who I am dubbing "Spy Boy" because that's literally all he is and he and his anime protagonist voice are so insane. He started out as a student among the spies, then when all the spies showes interest in him he said there was enough of him to go around, then he gets captured in goo that chokes you, then he switches to the dark side, then he saves the girls, then he tells them that he was only PRETENDING to be a bad guy because he knew they could handle whatever their imposter instructor (the bad guy during this) threw at them, then he started repeating the lessons they ALREADY LEARNED, and then at the end of the day when everything is said and done he goes "Oh! Yeah! I'm your teacher and these holographic teachers that have been teaching you this whole time are different parts of my personality, not yours (because the bad guy told them they were different parts of the spies' personalities earlier)! :D" LIKE. SIR???? WHY DO YOU KEEP SWITCHING SIDES AND IF YOU WERE THE INSTRUCTOR WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING??????

3. Jerry has a twin brother??? Canonically????? And his whole villain origin story is that Jerry threw him under the bus ONCE in fourth grade while they were cheating off of each other during the exam. That. That's it. And Jerry's brother got plastic surgery so he didn't look like Jerry. And when he broke out of jail at the end of the episode he reveals himself to actually have been wearing a mask and he looks like Jerry and pretends to be Jerry and gets let out. Then he rips THAT mask off and reveals himself to look exactly like the first mask except this time it's his real face.

4. Jerry confessed to cheating during the exam during FOURTH GRADE, and it is being taken INCREDIBLY SERIOUSLY. LIKE. JERRY WAS CRYING. And now he has to repeat fourth grade.

THIS JUST SHOWED UP I AM SO SORRY

Yeesh man when I was that old I couldn’t even walk babies are made different these days

I think hes just reeeaaally indecisive and wants to play it off

THREW HIM UNDER THE BUS?????? Also, he seems like another very indecisive guy

What?????? If I had to repeat fourth grade thatd be sooo embarrassing I can’t remember anything we did

[lubotomies]

trick or treat

every once in a while youd go into the tags and see random people making posts thatd be like 'LISTEN UP' and then go on like a long ass tangent on how the eddsworld fandom is ruined and 'Tord left, tom left, DO YOU ALL WANT MATT TO LEAVE TOO!??!?' or something theyd always find random ass trivial shit to say is ruining the community and then theyd end it with 'if you guys dont STOP .... i will stop writing eddsworld fanfic. Yeah. Thats right' and it made my face burn with second hand embarrassment

[zephyrusz]

it was omly a matter of time before i lost my mind. its almost andrews birthday so yk what that means! yap!! andrew yap i love andrew hes amazing and him and harper make me go insane!! happy early birthday dirt man i love you

- when harper first arrived, andrew caught their eye.

not because of his standout appearance- no, no. his personality shone bright. he had a certain look in his eye that reminded harper of themself. too introverted to make their voice heard. but he seemed nice, and they felt like he would be a good companion, he was straightforward and no-nonsense.

- they hadnt gotten the courage to speak to him until they bumped into each other around a corner (turns out they both walk close to walls and dont pay attention to their surroundings).

andrew seemed to tense. harper flushed red out of embarrassment- the guy they wanted to be friends with was already off to a bad start with them.

just one simple compliment could mend whatever awkward setting they set, "your eyes are pretty."

he seemed taken aback, barely hesitating before briskly walking back to his room.

- after that, their interactions were very scarce. seeing each other at meals, the infirmary, that was it.

- until they had a match together.

harpers first match was nothing but a wreck. they locked eyes with the photographer and froze in fear, feet rooted to the ground and staring like a deer looking down the shaft of an arrow. safe to say their teammates werent happy about their cowardice.

andrew, on the other hand, was used to rescuing early. he didnt care for their poor performance, but he tended to be more understanding than others. he will forever brush it off as "just doing his job as a rescuer", but he truly cared for their safety in the match.

so, for the entire match, he kept them safe. maybe they weren't too bad, just a kid who needed support. he didnt particularly enjoy company, but over the course of the rough ten mintue game, he figured they didnt care about how scary he seemed- his odd appearance. his opinion on them grew neutral. he was open to giving them a chance.

the match was a loss. it didnt matter to andrew much more than it did harper. he stayed with them, showed them the way to the infirmary, and left without saying a word.

- since then, harper was determined to be his friend. they even found purple flowers in the garden they brought to him afterwards as a thank you gift.

- andrew was more hesitant. harper had never shown him any difference in any of the survivors, but nobody could be trusted.

- but eventually, the two grew close, they began having more conversations, comforting each other after bad games and being the other's main support systems.

- they both latched on to one another almost immediately after getting comfortable. andrew yearned for a friend, no matter how much he hates to admit it, and harper often helped him forget about his poor reputation. (thinkjng about that one wreck it ralph quote that kinda went "if that kid likes me, how bad could i be?" or something yeah thatd them.) harper saw him as a big brother. it had been five years, but andrew seemed to fill the hole in their heart cassian left behind.

- to everyone, their friendship was very surprising. an introverted, shy man who could be scary at times paired with a cowardly, trembling sopping wet cat of a person? no, that cant be right. but the two helped and related to each other in ways the other survivors couldnt really understand.

- they would spend nights together, sometimes in silence, other times talking and ranting about the others. nights normally spent in harpers room, andrew resting on their bed listening to them at their desk, their quill scribbling around on the paper as he gave feedback on their rough draft lyrics.

- andrew surprisingly loved hearing what harper has to say about the other survivors. they both love gossip- andrew only respecting claims he knew were true- after all, rumors are hideous things. but harper would be sure to fill him in on anything going on that he didnt want to find out himself.

- a few weeks before harpers birthday, he desperately asked tracy to ask if she could borrow harpers mandolin, and then give it to him. he wanted to do something special for his first real, close friend. so, what better way than to get tracy to be a spy, asking harper questions about how to play, then learning and relaying them back to andrew?

on their birthday, andrew sat by their side with trembling fingers, taking an embarrassingly long time to pick at the strings, playing a slow and pathetic rendition of "happy birthday".

harper broke into tears right on the spot.

- theyre both incredibly special to one another, filling the empty holes in their hearts with someone to love and care for. real friends- a first for both of them.