#yeah that thing where it jumps you around the dash IS annoying. no fix tho

[royposting]

scrolled thru some subreddit the other day that was like tumblr tech help and it was honestly so funny. like ive been here since 2009 ish ?? and this website is so bad. always has been. and to see these beginner users trying to navigate this website and understand how it works really put it into perspective honestly

[phantomphangphucker]

A King For Tonight’s Fentertainment - Chap. 5: Getting Lairs Home, WITHOUT Any Disrepair

Summary:  Where the fuck's Sam and Tucker? Here, that's where. And they might just be a little too protective

As everyone watches as the Fright Knight and Nightmare fly off, Dash mutters, “what the fuck...Fentaco”. Blatantly confused by Danny speaking all regal like.

Red pushes Danny’s shoulder, “wow Danny, not sure if that was political or war talk but you go”, Red looks him up and down, shaking her head, “the whole look is still a bit much. And I still can’t believe this shit. It’s still “what the fuck Danny” worthy”.

Both Star and Kwan run up to Danny, basically dragging Dash along, exclaiming, “wow! That was so cool!”. Kwan elbows Dash, “come on man! It’s sweet”, muttering then, “though kind of messed we’ve been shoving a king into lockers”. Dash glares at Danny’s cape, “Fentable‘s still just a scrawny loser. Nothing could make him cool”.

Danny tilts his head back, groaning to himself, “is this guy even capable of not being a twat? Like fuck man”. Tilting his head back down and giving Dash a loose smirk, “Baxtax, yes I did just bastardise your last name, I’m quite literally the most powerful person of the Human Realm. While you’re just a regular lived mortal human boy, I think my kingly ass is cooler by default. Anyway, home time”. Kwan pretty well has to put Dash in a headlock to keep him from assaulting their ticket home.

Danny flops back down on the ground, crossing his legs. Speaking, slightly annoyed but amused, as he closes his eyes, “since everyone’s gonna pester me about this crap, just shush for now. Big portals actually do take some level of effort”. Danny smirks as Red, blatantly ignoring Danny's request for silence, snorts and mutters, “he says that like making a fucking portal is a piece of cake”.

“Oh it is, here anyway. There’s enough free-floating ectoplasm here to make shit for days. It’s fairly easy in certain areas of Amity aswell. But most places elsewhere? It’d be easier to gargle glass than make portals bigger than my body”.

Ms. Teslaff frowns, “even I’m beginning to see your phrases are concerningly messed up, Fenton”.

Danny flicks open one eye as a swirling green begins to coat the sky, the town air becoming thick with swirling green mist and floating liquid ectoplasm. Danny chuckles, playing with the ectoplasm in the air, “well then, aren’t I just ghoulishly ghastly”. Danny shuts his eye as he opens the portal, so no one would see his green ass eyes. Muttering, “hold on, I won’t be so rocky a trip as that pixie dust turned magic carpet ride into face fucking my secrets, but still”. Danny only waits a few seconds before yanking the portal over the town, sending the town through it and back to the Human Realm. Smirking, amused, as it’s clear a few didn’t take his warning or were too slow. Listening as a few pick themselves up off the ground or grumble about forming bruises. “If you wanna blame anyone for concussions or whatever, I’m sure the winery has a few sales and I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind leading the attempted, but not really, drowning of two Snow White’s who are not the fairest of them all”.

Danny stands and pats off his pants before opening his eyes. Promptly getting hugged by his mom, who rubs her cheek against his “oh thank you, sweetie! I’m glad we’re out of that filthy place!”. Danny grumbles, “would have been out faster if y’all coulda hushed it, shushed it, and rushed it. But naw, wasn’t y’all’s style”. Danny pushes his mom off him, holding her shoulders while his cape’s lounging over his arms, “and my Kingdom’s hardly filthy, it cleanses itself quite nicely”.

Maddie blinks at him a bit, before placing one hand on his hand, “I, um, sorry sweetie. But it’s filled with those things, and I still don’t get the why. Why take this role? Why claim it? Why lead, rule those things?”. Danny looks around, some folks are just fucking off back home or to hang out. Some of whom are actively avoiding him for sure. But most stick around, blatantly curious about him. But only a few are curious enough to stay/be close, and even fewer to actually speak up.

Mr. Lancer walks up to Danny, looking down at him, “I would like to know that as well, Daniel. You hardly ever seem the type for any kind of responsibility, considering your school efforts and attentiveness. Yet I can hardly think of anything more burdening with responsibility than that of leading a country, an entire world even more so”.

Danny rubs his neck, cape slipping off one shoulder, “tell me about it. But it’s kind of different, ghost royalty and leaders aren’t the same. The jobs easier actually. Paperwork is not a thing for one, the Ghost Zone is and ghosts are pretty well self-governing. Being The Ghost King is more like being a freakishly respected meddling and mingling watchful guide and protector”. Mr. Lancer mutters about how that sounds like more, not less, work. While Danny taps his chin, “I guess there’s a lot of aspects. Sometimes I’m a therapist, sometimes advisor, sometimes negotiator, sometimes babysitter, and sometimes warrior. Heh, well, it all comes naturally sooooo”.

Danny grabs his mom’s hand, patting it, “today’s been a load of ghost alicorn shit but the why is just cause it was the right thing to do. That, and I’m a reckless basket of straight strange. It was my right, my claim. How could I say no? What reason would I have to refuse?”, Danny sighs, his parents' intolerance towards ghost was frustrating and damn stupid.

“But they’re ghosts sweetie, that’s the ghost zone? This”, Maddie gestures at the crown and flaming cape collar, before bunching some of the capes plush and velvet in her hand, “it’s like you’re one of them, like you’re ghostly. You are ghostly, because of this claim you took. You’re walking, conversing, existing; amongst ghosts. And you’re just a kid, a human kid. Yet this, it’s making you live like a ghost”.

Red mutters that she’s just gonna go, muttering about getting back her damn visor while officially feeling rather awkward and not wanting to blow her cover to Maddie. Though Danny doubts he’s really gonna miss her presence, easily seeing Sam and Tucker running over in the distance.

Mr. Lancer goes wide-eyed, putting a hand on Danny’s shoulder, “you lack in your schooling because you’re putting effort towards this Ghost King thing”. Danny nods, earning a disapproving glare from his mom but catches Mr. Lancer's faint smile. Danny’s not really being honest here but hey, when someone handpicks your bullshit get-out-of-a-reveal-free card; you fucking take it. Mr. Lancer nods, “well clearly you care. So I can’t complain. I wish you well in your endeavours. As unusual and ghostly as they may be, though somehow I feel I should have expected you’d go down a path far too strange for regular schooling to do you much good”.

Danny chuckles, “if it’s anything, I do have to be educated on pretty well everything in the Ghost Zone. That’s some kind of schooling”.

Tucker speaks as he aggressively throws his arm around Danny’s neck, making the flames flare up, “yup! He’s the strangest! But that’s freaking awesome!”. Mr. Lancer smirks before stumbling back as Sam practically jumps on Danny, slinging her arm around his neck too, “you stupid idiot! There had got to be a million other ways to fix this fuck up!”. Mr. Lancer shakes his head, hiding a chuckle, as he walks off, waving over his shoulder. The trio watches him go while Sam mutters, “thanks tho...”.

It doesn’t take long for Maddie to speak up again, both unimpressed and worried, “Danny....”.

Danny mentally groans before looking to his mom, while his friends tighten their grip around his neck, basically sandwiching him between them. Bunching his cape up horribly and practically pushing the collars flames in his face. Speaking, muffled, as the flames obscure his mouth and dance in front of his eyes, “gurfs lift murch, lurk tuf srphek”. Danny spits out bits of cold flame while his friends apologise and give him a little wiggle room; not much though, just enough so he’s not getting a mouth full of cold fire.

Maddie tries not to be bothered by the flames reflecting in her son’s eyes as he talks, “mom, I know. This is all very ghostly. But that’s damn fine I’d say. I’m happy, if a bit weird and messed up”. Danny shrugs to get his friends to loosen up even slightly, but they don’t; which just makes the act of shrugging slightly painful. Flicking his eyes upward to reference his crown, “this has more worth, meaning, importance, value; than human schooling. It’s a choice I made, recklessly sure, but it’s mine and I like it that way. So I guess just, like, take that knowledge and not be pissy? Maybe? If you could? Yeah, that’d be great”.

The two stare each other off for a beat before Maddie sighs, “but it’s so...ghostly. Ghosts are evil...this, it’s wrong. Like being the lord of evil....”. Danny blinks finding that sounding like one hell of an escalation and rather absurd. Almost like she was trying to call him the freaking devil. Which well, some did see the Ghost Realm as the underworld so ‘devil’ wasn’t exactly far off. Quirking his mouth up, “uuuuuuhhh...is that a no?”.

Sam puffs her cheeks out, forcing Danny to squint his right eye. Sam snaps, “ghosts aren’t damn monsters. They’re good and bad, just like humans”. Tucker nods and glares defiantly at Maddie, “and Danny dude is, like, the goodest fucker around”.

Danny mutters, “that’s not a word Tuck”, shaking his head as much as he can, “but anyway...”. Danny locks eyes with his mom again and taking a step closer to her, dragging his friends along in the process. Sighing, “evil isn’t a thing, not really. And yeah, I am one of them in a sense. Definitely ghostly and, considering your guy’s profession, defiantly so. And yeah, all of this makes me more ghostly than even some ghosts. Many actually”, Danny spins around his ring, prompting Maddie to glance at it quickly, “I’ve got more ghostly power in the palm, or well finger, of my hand than they do. But it’s cool, I’m cool, we’re all cool. Well...you’re not, not really”.

Maddie shakes her head, glancing back down at his ring before speaking, “how could I be ‘cool’ with this? How can you be? Being made ghostly, even if still living, even if still breathing with a beating heart; how is that remotely ok?!? You live, but this is making you live like a ghost!”.

Danny grumbles into his collar flames, “nothing can make me do shit”, chuckling and laughing quietly, “cause I’m da boss”. Shaking his head and clearing his throat, “er, um, no. I willingly chose, opted in, decided towards, agreed to; this. Nothing is making me do anything, again, I am not and was not forced into shit. This shit is my own shit, by right; and right’s always a choice in the end of shit. I’m with the ghosts, my people, my subjects, my citizens; on this, with this. I could say vassals or underlings but that wouldn’t be quite right”, chuckling, “they don’t exactly act subordinate”.

“They would if you actually exerted control, you’re too soft boy”.