#yeah some of these are repeats for the post where theyre FUCKIN i dont CARE you get to see them GOIN AT IT again!!! its my damn blog!!!!

[bishonenspit]

banmara lovin' again

[razzdrgn]

like genuinely fuckin. god hi im gonna dump some Razz Lore while i break down crying on the train to work

society has built up walls around people to shelter us from each other because at one point the lords and the dukes and the kings and the rich decided they were better and built physical walls to separate themselves from the peasantry as a sign of power and to isolate themselves from what they deemed impure. and over time this evolved into close knit communities drifting apart into expensive suburbs where people pushed away from everyone else to try and emulate the status and success of the billionaire class, which slowly broke down communication and communities and made everyone so suspicious of each other that your next door neighbor could snap a photo of you and post you in nextdoor as a suspicious person and everyone would believe them because nobody knows each other anymore

and it fuckin!!! sucks!!! especially for me because i care so much about other people. like so so so much. like i am so filled with love for everyone around me and like, its extremely hard to express it. because of this society that punishes emotional vulnerability and ostracizes the "cringe" and bans books and defunds art programs and decides the individual with all its beautiful and complex and wonderful details should be shaved down into a standard peg that can fit through a standard hole and should serve only as a tool to bring more wealth to those already in power

like. ive had a lot of friends in my life. and pretty much up until november of last year and maybe even a bit past that, i was going through a life of constant abuse and stress and trauma. a parent who psychologically tormented me and prevented me from getting meds that would adequately treat my neurodivergence because of his preconceived notions of status and notoriety. an education system which refuses to accommodate different methods of learning and is under attack from the established powers to prevent the teaching of ideas counter to their existing narrative. a government system that not only fails but actively stigmatizes the homeless by under-providing and reinforcing the worst habits in people to keep the stereotype of "dirty junkie" alive.

and i lost so, so many people ive cared so deeply about because i freaked out at the stresses. i made so many irrational decisions that forced people away because i was terrified at my current situation and forcing people away would keep them from getting hurt. some people i hurt even more by lashing out, out of the fear that theyd repeat the mistakes that others had made that harmed me, whether out of active malice or blissful ignorance

like i know im probably rambling and not making sense but like. everyone whose ever talked to me in my life ever has a special place in my heart. everyone whose ever spent time with me will always have one there, whether theyre still here or not. whether i pushed them away out of panic and trauma response or i acted like a dumb idiot and they got put off by that or they just slowly drifted away, they always have a place in my heart.

even some people who like, actively went out of their way to harm me too. even if some of them i dont ever want back in my life, i cherish the lessons i learned and the experiences i had that brought me forward toward being a more complete, whole person.

god yeah just like

everyone who has every been my friend will always be my friend no matter how long it has been

hi sorry for reblogging that so many times it just legit resonated with me so strongly that it felt like they pulled the emotions straight out of my heart and hammered them until they were words that other people could finally understand after years of desperate yearning for someone, anyone to understand what has been going through my mind

[dunkalfredo]

Im in love with your vision of Infinite and Rookie and i want to hear some of your sweet headcanons about their time together. If anyone asked something similar, refer me to this post, please. Thanks!

alskdjnsjklnljkls tysm!!!! yeah sure ill share some headcanons. i did a post on a similar topic about a month ago but that’s more their individual personalities/aesthetics than actual relationship material so ill go ahead and add on some stuff here.

i should note that portions of this are based heavily off of the idea that they grew up together so prepare for some au territory at this point. my backstory for them is becoming so intricate jfc;;;;;; i really hope ur not disappointed with this answer i have like an entire pre-forces narrative planned out in my head at this point OTL if u were hoping for more general stuff just lemme know i can give you some more hcs for that (there’s already some but there’s also Backstory stuff that i can’t really explore through oneshot format)

this is entirely self indulgent tbhhhh anyways click that mf Keep reading button

there’s a lot of like. casual touch. lotsa hugs and leaning on each other and resting their chin on the other’s shoulder (or top of head depending on who’s who bc height difference) while looking over them at what they’re doing and its really rooted in their learning early on how much Gadget loves that sweet sweet Physical Contact (if u scratch behind his ears he will melt, guaranteed, you’ll have yourself a Boneless Gadget with a two-liter coke)

if it’s raining out gadget will insist on doing something that’s not just sitting inside all day but snugglin w/ infinite ends up tempting him into doing Exactly That lol

there’s a lot of companionable silence between them when it’s just Them Alone in a Room. sure they talk and chat and joke but there are so many times where it’s just,,, being Together,,, and enjoying being in the other’s presence as they each do their own thing

sorta going into childhood/backstory stuff but uhhhh:

starting freshman year of highschool they started just bein each other’s dates to school dances even though they were “just friends” for like half of that timespan . i love cheesy stuff like that im sorry bro i had to include that tidbit i know it’s super specific and particular to my own backstory for them but just, they’re best buds and they gonna have a good time at homecoming lol

please imagine: those cute pre-dance pictures that parents take at the stairwell or front porch or somethin right before their kids leave, but with gadget and infinite. gadget’s got braces and they dont really fit in his mouth and his lenses reflect the light in the photo and oops infinite blinked and his shirt is too big and tbh their suits in gen just don’t really fit them right, gadget’s shirt is untucked and infinite’s tie is crooked but it’s okay, they’re both smilin reeeeaaaal big (and besides they figure out how to look Aesthetically Pleasing by junior year)

summers were hot in their hometown (note: i grew up in the north so i know nothing of True Heat, bear with me on this one.) most evenings were spent out on gadget’s fam’s back porch, cold towels resting on the backs of their necks, sweat in and under their fur, and they’re melting into the wood of the deck, fan plugged into that one weird outlet on the outside of the house that’s really more a fire hazard than anything else but the cool air is nice. they’re just lounging around reading comic books and listening to music on infinite’s old zune (lots of mid-2000s punk rock bands bc what else were u expecting) and in later years when they’re in that teen puppy love stage they’re trying to cuddle but it’s TOO DAMN HOT OUTSIDE so they resort to like, gentle hand holding, infinite reading some pretentious literary work or whatever and gadget spacing tf out next to him

when they graduate and are assigned a partner to walk down the aisle with they still end up w/ each other even though technically the partners are chosen according to alphabetical order and they’re on opposite ends of that list whOOPS how’d they do that? (hint: last minute shuffling in line)

when they move outta their small lil home town and into The Big City (im gonna say that would be Sunset Heights to tie in some canon plot relevance) they move in together and share a flat. a) its more financially manageable to just split housing costs like that and b) it’s been a dream their entire lives to live together when they’re older so oh!!! they’re older now!!!!! time to live together

(okay that’s all for backstory stuff back to reg hcs)

neither can cook but its ok

it may seem like they bicker a lot but it’s usually either the like, joke argue of “what do you mean craft mac n cheese is gross take that back” or reprimands like “it’s one a.m. time to sleep u Fool” (self-care is important, lads). they actually communicate really well so high-stakes arguments aren’t super common (and when they do happen they dont tend to explode. i wanted to have them be the type that argue for understanding and not to prove they’re right, so that greatly affects the outcomes of their disputes.)

infinite loves to hum while he’s doing things, or just in gen, and his voice is very low and smooth and gadget looooooves it, so much. they’ll be, i dunno, doing some mundane thing, like maybe they’re out getting groceries or doin dishes or something (i love me that domestic content) and he’ll start humming quietly and it just, it really grounds gadget in a way that sometimes he doesn’t even know he needs till infinite does it.

anyone here ever played bayonetta? any a yall remember those bits where there’s a woman in bayo’s memories singing and/or humming ‘fly me to the moon’ all quiet and low? think that but just,,,, pitched down,,,, yeah,,,

the tunes are usually very slow and while not so much melancholy theyre just? i dunno melodic in the same lax, smooth-tempo’d way a lot of melancholy songs are? i dunno i like quiet, introspective infinite and aesthetics that reflect that

here’s a long one: about a month before infinite “goes missing” and forces happens, infinite lands a job at a local news outlet as one of the column writers and even tho he’s more into prose than journalism he’s so fuckin pumped. it’s mostly just excitement over not doing cashier work and having a money-makin outlet he’s at least somewhat interested in lol …aaaaaand the way ship headcanon works into this bullet is that when he finds out that he landed the job he so excited that when gadget walks into the room (it’s morning and gadget literally was just gonna get some coffee, he’s still in his pajamas, he’s got bedhead) infinite sees him and whoops he tackle-hugs him and then whoops he knocked them both onto the floor but its cool gadget kinda let it happen and when infinite tells him what happened and apologizes he’s now also super excited and happy for him so now there’s two (2) people screaming inside (and out) about this awesome development

here’s a short one: they wear each other’s clothes a lot

gadget’s v cuddly in his sleep so he gets really clingy w/ infinite when a) it’s early morning and they’re just waking up b) it’s Late o’ clock at night and they’re chillin at home or c) he’s Actually asleep and within like three feet of infinite

i dont really know how to end this lol i dont really wanna just start repeating myself and i might think of other stuff later but for now pls consider the following: when they sleep whoever’s big spoon ends up resting one hand over the other’s heart and it’s super sweet

oh and they smooch a lot (i told you this response was self indulgent)