#yeah people are gonna be mad and pissed! and you shouldn't tell them they shouldn't be because it's going to ruin your experience

[illdothehotvoice]

Bro I just wanted to see that hologram in person so fucking bad literally a childhood dream of mine and I finally get the chance to and I get lucky and get my tickets way cheap and it's a small LCD screen that I'm gonna see like 2 pixels of.

My goal is to not be sad and constantly checking the Miku Expo tag all day. There's a whole ass eclipse tomorrow and I am lucky enough to see that and that's so fucking cool

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to get my friend to stop hanging out with her other friend?

(tw: mentions of eating disorders)

So basically here's some context a few years back we used to have a really tight knit friend group. Alice (friend I want to stop hanging out with her other friend group) and Shera (person in said friend group who is toxic in my opinion).

They were really close friends and a few months down the line we were messing around and decided to jokingly trap her in the spanish homeroom during lunch (we did this with a few other people and now she wanted to see if she could get out in hindsight this was actually extremely irresponsible of us but we were stupid so eh).

Her hand got jammed into the door a few seconds in and once I noticed I backed out and started yelling at Shera to stop and tried pulling her back. I kept screaming that her hand was in the door and I didn't want it to break but she just went 'its fine!' and low and behold the next week she came back with a cast on her arm. I apologized A LOT feeling extremely guilty but Shera was then asking questions like 'are your parents gonna sue me?' 'my moms gonna be pissed if i get sued' 'oh god im so stressed' before even CHECKING on Alice

I calmly mentioned to her that we probably won't get sued and if we did we would deserve it and Shera was still paranoid about that. Alice then said that her mom isn't the type to sue people so she's fine and then Shera made a halfhearted apology to her before laughing it off as a joke.

A few months later and we get into another argument. Alice mentions that she's underweight and has a severe eating disorder that does effect with her life and mental health to which Shera responds with 'its better than being fat' and 'i would rather have an eating disorder than being fat'

We then try to talk her out of it and she keeps saying how Alice is just being stupidly insecure when she shouldn't be and saying how she's instead complimenting her for being skinny. I get mad at her and tell her to just leave and she does.

Next year comes around and she acts like nothing bad has happened. She rejoins the friend group but Alice left because of her. Then when asked about the situation regarding her hand she just says 'yeah that was really funny' and 'it wasnt my fault' then she'll start accusing us of being overdramatic and that it wasn't that much of a big deal (keep in mind we accidentally BROKE her arm).

Anyways soon later we kick her out and I join Alice's current friend group because my other one got wonky. Then some lunch days she disappears and we saw her hanging out with Shera again. I get kinda pissed at this because she's the reason why Alice left and our entire friend group agrees

Whenever we ask her about it she shrugs it off or gets snappy with us. I've also actively tried talking her out of it saying that 'Shera isnt a good person' but whenever I try she just snaps at me and tells me that its her choice.

I'm starting to feel like an asshole for trying to get her to stop. Our entire friend group has tried talking her out of it as they've also had past history with Shera, but it doesn't work. She gets mad at us and we've stopped with it and laid low. I know that Alice is her own person but its kinda the situation where if you know your friend is hanging out with a bad person wouldn't you try to stop them?

I just don't want her getting hurt again but I also don't want to come off as controlling over her.

Anyways AITA for not trying to get her to stop hanging out with her other friend?

What are these acronyms?

[ihatepeoplesomuchuwu]

@abyssleaves GIRL I FUCKING LOVE YOU HOLY SHIT. You dropped this queen 👑

This person right here, you have said it so perfectly and have inspired me to say something. I will also probably get hate but you know what? That's fine at this point 😎

This carnivorekitty situation? I'M SO OVER IT!!! I don't even 100% agree with tom but, most of you guys are getting upset at OPINIONS AND DARK HUMOR LIKE HOLY SHIT. I want you all to think about this. What part of it is beliefs? The belief of not understanding neopronouns? No no no he didn't say "hate." he said he didn't agree with them and wasn't going to hate people for using them. But nah, instead of maybe sitting down with a cup of tea, you all jumped the gun and said, "THE NERVE?! HE DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME?!". Pssst hey lean in close...... I don't understand them either 😐 If you approached me, though, and told me your pronouns, I would never hate you for using them. It is YOUR life and I will respect/use your pronouns(I use any pronouns btw UwU) and I can't tell you what to do, and as long as you're not hurting anyone, who cares right? But don't demand me to understand or get why because I don't want to, and I'm just too stupid to care.

ANYWAY TO THE TRANSPHOBIC TOPIC!! Okay, this confused me for so long on why people called him transphobic because even I understood that people of the lgbtq+ have different opinions on things and deal with stuff differently. Him saying that kids/teens having medication and surgeries are life changing and then most definitely are. Most medications are safe, but did you know that their was a birth control that was FDA approved and it worked for a long time! Until women started having babies missing limbs and parts of them. Medical stuff can happen at anytime, it being safe of not it can still happen. And the surgeries? I agree that people shouldn't have surgeries until they are 18. Why? Because you have jackasses that aren't trans/have medical needs who take advantage of that for their own benefits and you have people who find out that they are not trans/non-binary/so on later in life and detransition.

Also, can no one like dark humor anymore??? A trans person likes a dark humored trans meme it's end shattering, but people still adore famous people making 9/11 jokes? Yeah, okay, love you guys ❤️ and don't get me started on the nazi shit because WOW WE GOING FOR IT WITH THAT ONE!!! Did anyone read the post Tom made at all? Hm? He said, and I quote, "I don't see anything on how he's a nazi however, that seems like a stretch. However, if anyone can provide actual proof of these claims, you can let me know." He ASKED for proof and said he doesn't agree with all of his posts, yet all of you jumped on him instantly calling him a "nazi sympathizer"? I literally saw one, FUCKING ONE PERSON show him the proof of it instead of jumping him like zombies 🧟‍♂️ 🧟‍♀️

My last take is the pride parade stuff which is just silly to get mad about?? As a person who has basically raised my siblings as my own children and wanting kids of my own some day, I can understand about the not wanting children to see half naked people and honestly who would? What I get is that it is a pride parade and they are mostly known for people doing that, they usually make a flyer or post saying if it's going to happen orr not so please look first. What pisses me off is when people defend that and call them something-phobic for not agreeing 😑 "Agree to disagree" is perfectly put for this, People can have opinions on this without being hateful. You guys come OOON

That is all I have to say for this, I would touch on the racism aspect but I must say out of that whole thing I could understand why people were mad/hurt and I am a pale ass white-irish person who has never experienced racism(only the "HA HA YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC" jokes due to me being irish 🤣)so I have no right to say anything in that.

Anyway, I'm gonna just rant here, so feel free to hate on me in my inbox because I could honestly just chill with anyone even if they scream at me UwU

[silusvesuius]

Just 2 expand on what you posted abt telvas gf/bf what kind of person would he be into? Would it b different the stuff he’s attracted 2 in a guy vs a girl orrrr … Ps I luvvvv ur nelvas stuff. Ur so rite & u must speak the truth 🫶 also would neloth react diff to him having a bf 2 a gf …. The ppl want answers

omg Thank you 4 this ask 🥰 my thoughtums under the cut

hmmmm this is very much in the nelvas lens 🔎 but i can't help it cause i swearrrr their existences blend into each other. so here's wat i think i believe talvas under nelothian watch would grow to want to be coddled and pitied by ... Women 🙆‍♀️ very gentle and patient women that he can view as very motherly. Where are his parents man if i was his age and being thrown around like a pizza by an old ass man i'd be crying so hard i'd want to go back home stat. i can't even picture talvas having fun ever in his life anymore so..... JKUIUDFDOFIOR i couldn't say it'd be someone that's on the same wave as him or is trying to change him into a more confident person.. he'd just want to be pitied a lot. but as i said not in the way that this pampering behavior would prompt him to realize he's being harshly mistreated by neloth, it just serves as empty words to soothe him and his Damaged Dead Decapitated self confidence and self perception 😸 as 4 men my first instinct is to say he;d like older guys but that's too obvious. but yeah. i think talvas has the most awful social battery so he hates loud or 'fun' people so he'd lean on men that are either very ' ' gentlemanly ' ' or generally Smart and have something interesting to say. it'd be harder for him to hold long-lasting relationships with dudes cause the only Dude his life revolves around is masta neloff 🏆 he'd feel a bit bad or awkward about leaving women tho just cause he's a nice boy. tho the thing that stays in both male and female dating ventures is him being unable to feel real love towards anyone. or should i say attachment. && i bet it makes him SAD. but he can't do anything about it. he's superglue'd to neloth in attachment terms tho.. talvas with him is the personification of that 'when the only person you know at the party is busy talking to someone else (guy standing awkwardly on the side)' thing.. his unability to get actually close with others just has to be blamed on neloth ruining his self image too. You know neloth will get pissed at his tea not being hot enough and then insult your entire existence he dgaf about making things really personal for no reason . KING.

First of all tho iiiiii jsut know talvas would NEVER tell neloth that he's seeing anyone. 1. cause it's none of his business 2. cause he's embarrassed about it. he doesn't just date often anyways so neloth doesn't have to know, not that a noticable change happens. if neloth found out about any relationship at any point he'd get nosy as faaaack for no reason even if he'd try to not be. Nosy. he can't help it 🥳 if he asks talvas what plans he has for the day && he answers 'none' like 3 days in a row he's gonna start yelling in his face like THAT'S HOW I KNOW YOUR STUPID ASS GIRLFRIEND DUMPED YOU YOU DEGENERATE WHAT FEMALE WANTS A BORING DRY AF FAILURE FOR A MANDon't ask me how i know u have a girlfriend though :) you were saying?

Second, as for his differing reactions, yk his blood is boiling and cooking him from the inside if it's a man. i think him witnessing other men have influence on talvas would just make him feel like talvas is being 'tainted' (by the wrong people..?) and put in a wrong direction for his life (neloth views talvas' relationships to men only as him being lead or tutored by them in one way or another; he expects him as a younger man Only to look up to ONLY other men if that makes sense). he'd be more intrusive and maybe homophobic for talvas' man-on-man dating just cus he thinks he actually owns talvas and he can't and shouldn't have other (especially older) men in his vicinity.. with women he'd just get mad @ them being very lovey dovey to talvas like to a baby. imagine just living your life and some old ass man starts grilling you about how you shouldn't coddle men and especially that dude you've been seeing cause he did nothing to earn it . also he just hates women in general, especially the type talvas would like.. women that are just kind from the heart and Angelic are useless beings to him. even then i still know he'd be a big fan of purity and kindness in a way.. like something he wants to study... he's not necessarily attracted to those traits but likes seeing how they come to the surface when someone with that docile nature is confronted with vile behavior... so like.. Talvas. 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 that's it pretty much 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

[cimeriansparrow]

My mom got mad at me this morning bc "I never talk to her," but every time we try to really talk, it turns into a massive fight (guess what happened 15 minutes ago)

I can't even ask questions without them eventually leading down a road where she keeps cutting me off and begins to yell at me. Obviously I'm taking a tone with you. Not only am I literally just speaking to you in the way that you speak to me, but being spoken down to for 22 years really teaches you that it doesn't matter How I speak to you, you won't ever Listen. Idk. I'm tired of living in a house where I can't even try to talk to my parents about the smaller stressors that I have.

Tried to bring up what's been going on the past few months bc she accused me of being depressed and lazy and. Yeah. I was depressed for 3 months. Thank you So much for noticing. It really speaks volumes to me that you didn't say anything about it while I was going through it?? I tried explaining that a new medication (that she knew I was taking!!! I told her when I switched to it!) Was causing me immense brain fog and seriously scary suicidal ideations that I did nearly act on.

And she got pissed and started yelling bc I never talk to her, and when I asked her to stop yelling she told me that she's gonna yell because she shouldn't be made to feel like this in her own house. She just went through a massive surgery and she's had to walk on eggshells around us when we should have been taking care of her (which we did. And it fucking tears me apart that she doesn't realize how much of my own life I've given up already to make sure she's been taken care of) and she's done with tiptoeing around all of us and she just kept going and going and going and going and going because she doesn't actually ever know when to fucking stop.

No shit we don't talk. Every single time I try to talk with you it ends up like this. With me trying to calm down after stepping away after you've accused me of some wild shit and when I come back to try to talk normally you're still yelling. In fact, you're more incensed than before.

For some reason she thinks adhd medication will fix everything. Like it's some sort of cure all and I don't have a decent handle on it. And every time I bring up that I've done some research and I feel like I might be on the autism spectrum she tells me that's stupid and people are making a trend of it and that's why I feel that way and I shouldn't think that because none of us (myself and two younger sisters) are autistic.

If none of this makes any sense to anyone reading, know that that's how Every Single conversation with her goes. If she's not in a good mood she's going to bring you down to her level of emotion. She will make it about her through the stupidest methods possible, and after being emotionally manipulated like that my entire life it's hard to see exactly what's going on because she comes at you so fast.

[compassionatereminders]

my sister is really bugging me lately. My dad says that I shouldn't let the way she treats him bug me, but it pisses me the fuck off tbh. She's fourteen and I recognize that that's young and that she's still growing up and she's not an adult, but it still feels like she's old enough to know better than to treat people with complete disrespect. The worst part is that when she gets herself into fights with someone else or causes a new problem or does something rude, she genuinely seems to think she's in the right and if you try to have a conversation she gets pissed off. She's so bad that when my dad went to talk to her a week ago, my eight year old sister literally said "i'm worried about daddy" and when I asked why she said it was because other sister gets in fights a lot and she was scared she was gonna hurt my dad. (She didn't, though she did yell at my dad who has never once hit any of us to hit her because he was confronting her about something she did and I think she wanted an excuse to say she'd call the cops? That's the literal only explanation I can think of, because I've heard her tell her to hit him so she could call the cops before, a few years ago.) Anyway that's not entirely relevant but it's just like she gets mad if someone wont do something for her and acts like no one loves her and I do feel bad for her because I know she's had breakdowns feeling like no one loves her from fights happening or from someone not wanting to be around her or hang out with her but the thing is while I do feel bad, no one owes her their time and when she acts like that, she can't really expect it. Like the eight year old, who she loves to flat out yell at when the eight year old just says something rude, and then defends herself by saying that she should be allowed to defend herself (which is not what anyone is saying when they point it out, we're just pointing out that her full on yelling at an eight year old who is much younger and wasn't screaming at her anyway isn't okay), will walk away from her because she's being rude and 14 year old will start yelling and complain to dad that no one likes her. But I feel like if even my 8 year old sister is realizing to just walk away from the situations instead of engaging because she's just so tired of it, that really says something about the consistency of these things. But anyway, all that said, basically I don't want to be in my sisters life at all (14 year old). Like she has redeeming moments but it's not enough with everything else. The other day she was rude to me and like 40 minutes later when we saw each other again, she said "name, I love you," I guess to move on from it and that's more maturity than she normally has, but I just feel like that's not enough. Like it's reaching out and it's nice but it's sure as hell not an apology or even an admission of guilt and since then she's caused more problems, with me and in general. So yeah I just genuinely don't want to be around her. Like I'm at a point where I'm like, maybe in a few years if she's a better person, I could forge a good relationship with her, but even if she became a million times better over night, being aound her and trying to be super friendly (I can be decently nice just fine even if it's a little annoying when things go unaddressed) right now or any time soon isn't something I want. Like I legitamately don't think she deserves my time and also she just makes me so miserable and I can't really explain this next part but just being around her doesn't FEEL nice even when she's being nice or better (which never last past the first slight disagreement. but even if it did).

But I'm legitamately afraid, too, because I know that most of my other sisters are also at that point with her (I have a lot of sisters, and 2 of them I don't think are done with her, one goes back and forth and the other I think is chill with her but I don't think they talk much) and I know that that adds to her feelings of isolation and feeling unloved and unwanted but like the thing is it's her actions that caused it and I feel like I shouldn't have to feel bad for her because she's created the situation she's in but she seems to legitamately not see that and I'm just fucking terrified because I know she has issues with depression and I know that she has self harmed before and I'm afraid that the isolation and those negative feelings could lead to something really bad. So I feel like telling people yeah it's okay to distance yourself from her and doing it myself could end badly and that just worries me because I don't want that for anyone and at the end of the day I do care about her and also I wouldn't want to see how that would affect my dad because he loves her so much but I also don't want to be around her and I don't think it's wrong to say to my sisters who have distanced themselves from her that they're not doing anything wrong and I am going to tell my eight year old sister that it's okay to walk away when she's being mean (not from the whole relationship, she wouldn't want to anyway, but just from the fights) even if it upsets 14 year old sister more. But about my distancing myself and what I feel like is holding a grudge which also makes me feel bad, I feel like a bad person for doing it when I know how she's feeling. And I know that she genuinely feels the way she does but at the same time I also feel like my dad keeps getting manipulated by it bc she does feel that way but she brings it up any time she's in trouble and then all of the sudden he's comforting her and feeling bad for saying anything. She also jokingly says 'oh so you don't love me' when she asks for something and my dad says no and that would be fine but she keeps insisting about whatever she wants after she says that and it'd be so much less annoying if it wasn't for how often she says it and for all the background information about her saying similar things in situations that I'm sure she does feel them but that make him feel bad for just parenting. But anyway sorry for the rant I know that's ridiculously wrong and you don't have to respond but I needed to get that out lol

I think your frustration and anger and hurt is completely valid, but I also don't think we can disregard that she is 14 and having mental health issues. So avoid her when you can and call her out when you have the energy and try not to feel bad about it, because you are allowed to have limits and boundaries. But maybe don't write her off completely while she is still in the early stages of puberty. There's a good chance this is a phase or at least something she can grow out of at a later point. Not that you are obligated to be there with zero concerns if she does. Being 14 excuses a lot of things, but not this level of consistent manipulation and disregard

[bonesandthebees]

Anyway, back to [“Huh. Didn’t think Techno would be down for prison labor.”] I laughed, very hard. [it’s a little fucked up, y’know?”] It’s good to see Tubbo being aware of how fucked the entire situation is, I think Wilbur might be starting to forget that a little (in his defence he’s pretty used to skipping past a lot of fucked up shit).

I’m already failing at doing this by character because I am Looking at Wilbur telling Tubbo he’s staying willingly and I just can’t help myself. It’s the wanting to be different, but having no proof thing again. He needs Tubbo to know that he’s different. That he has changed. Because he feels so different form who he was and he wants to be more than just the Pythia, so he needs to say something and change the image Tubbo has off him in his mind.

Poor Tommy, that wasn’t even the most terrifying thing to happen to him that day. Also, I give him a lot of shit for being an impulsive dumbass, but Wilbur is just as bad. Like he did not think ahead to have to explain himself further. It’s a good thing Tommy is so good at adapting. And he’s not technically lying, he’s just leaving out exhibit B.

Remember when I said Tommy was an impulsive shit? Yeah why would you tell him Wilbur could have left MULTIPLE TIMES?! Like it's because he’s still pissed about Tubbo suggesting killing him. He’s still trying to prove he’s not a threat. But don’t tell him Wilbur had the opportunity to be a threat multiple times. Like it works to convince him, but this is gossip land and you don’t want that to get back to Jack or Niki. Also, people would either get pissed at Tommy or Phil and Techno depending on who they think should have told them.

Anyway, Tubbo accepts that Wilbur is no longer a threat because they are all still alive and (skips straight over the fact that he had multiple opportunities to leave and nobody knew even though he should be mad about that) offers to have dinner together.

Also, for as much as Tommy pushes his own opinions, he still makes sure if Wilbur wants to eat with them (despite it being very obvious that he wants to ear with his friends and misses them). And I’d say this is the first real brother’s moment because Wilbur just looks at how excited Tommy is and gives in immediately.

(2/3)

-🌲

I'm glad you laughed at that line I thought it was really funny and definitely something tubbo would say. I love writing tubbo's dialogue so I was very happy to get back into it with this chapter. and yeah, because tubbo is more of an 'outsider' to the situation (hasn't interacted with the pythia as much) he's still able to see just how fucked up the situation is, while wilbur, and by extension the people closest to him, are starting to lose perspective a bit

he needs to be different!! he desperately wants proof that he's changed as a person since he got there but he can't admit that to himself. he wants proof that he's not really the pythia anymore but also he can't not be the pythia because what else would he be??

literally wilbur and tommy are so well suited to each other bc they're both dumbasses

yeahhh that was a really dumb move on tommy's end. it did the job at convincing him, but really bad way to phrase it right off the bat. at least tubbo was able to accept that wilbur is no longer an immediate threat to them. he also is definitely pissed that no one mentioned the fact that he had a chance to leave several times now, but he just knew he wasn't really gonna get anywhere getting angry about it now and more than anything tubbo is tired of being pissed at tommy, just like how tommy's tired of being pissed at tubbo. the two of them are best friends. they miss each other and are overwilling to move past stuff they really shouldn't just to talk again

wilbur can't say no to tommy when he looks that excited... the little brother effect is working now

[joyandthephantoms]

wonder how it'd be to love you

1k, T, Flynn/Nick

flynn nick fake dating!

on ao3

The thing about Nick Danforth-Evans is that Flynn doesn’t talk to him. It’s not out of spite or anything; Flynn’s got nothing against him—well, okay. She has a pretty minimal number of things against him. Julie liked him for years, which means Flynn has been judging him for years, but he’s honestly, like. Fine. Kind of a boring pushover, definitely too good for Carrie and nowhere near good enough for Julie, but the list of gripes ends there. As far as Flynn can tell, he’s not secretly an asshole or anything, he’s just some guy.

Still, though, they’re not friends, they never have been, they’re not even particularly friendly, so it’s weird to find him hovering around her locker before the first bell, and even weirder when he says, “Hey, can I maybe get your help with something?”

Since Flynn is also not an asshole, she doesn’t bring up the established lack of friendship, just says, “What’s up?”

“Um . . .” He tugs at the sleeve of his jacket, looks up and down the hall like he's trying to make sure no one is watching, and then rolls forward and back on the balls of his feet just once before asking, “Would you be willing to go out with me for a little while? Just for like, a month or two.”

She can’t help it: she laughs in his face. “Is that how you ask people out? Holy moly, no wonder you haven’t managed to date anyone but Carrie.”

“No, that’s . . . kind of why I’m asking,” Nick says. “Sorry, I did this in the stupidest way possible, can I just—okay.” He visibly resets, and, okay, it’s a little bit endearing, if only because it reminds Flynn that Julie is the same kind of awkward. "Sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you out of nowhere. It's complicated, and I'm not trying to put you in a weird position, I just—"

The bell interrupts him, and he curses. "Can we meet up later? Not a date or anything, just so I can explain better."

"Sure," Flynn says. Her afternoon is wide open, and she's dying to find out what on earth is going on here.

"Cool. Okay. You're the best." He gives her a thumbs up, then changes his mind and goes for finger guns instead, and then he's gone.

“Walk me through the logic here again,” Flynn says eight hours later, sitting cross legged on Nick's bedroom floor. "You want to, what, pretend to date someone Carrie hates to make her mad? Not jealous, though, I got that part, so are we just pissing her off for fun, or what?"

“It’s not like that,” Nick says. “Look, I just—I really need to not get back together with her this time.”

“And you need me for this because . . . ?”

“Because I’m really bad at not dating her,” Nick admits. “Every time we break up, I tell myself I'm going to actually stay away from her for good this time, and then I always get back with her anyway. I need a good reason not to, and I need someone else to hold me to it.”

“Okay,” Flynn says, “But like. You’re not this desperate, right? Like you do realize there are people out there who actually want to date you.”

“I’m not gonna use someone like that,” Nick insists. “It isn’t fair unless they’re in on it.”

It's a low bar, but Flynn can admit that it's nice that Nick isn't willing to string along some poor girl just because he's a spineless idiot about his ex-girlfriend. He's at least being honest about what he's asking for, and she respects that.

And she does get his whole thing with Carrie, really. Julie knew that Carrie wasn't good for her months before things permanently blew up between them, but that didn't mean it was easy for her to break out of patterns of hoping and trying and giving in, and all Flynn could do was be the best friend she could be, try to prove to Julie that it's actually super easy and cool and fun to treat her well. She hated watching her go through all that, but she'd do it a hundred times over if Julie needed her to.

Nick doesn't have anything close to that kind of best friend privilege, but, yeah, the particular predicament he's in does kinda hit close for Flynn. Even if it's dumb, she wants to help him.

"Okay," she says. "Let's talk details."

Nick blinks at her, surprised. “Does that mean you’re in?”

“It means I want details. Terms and conditions first, then I tell you if I agree to them."

"Fair enough," Nick says. "What do you need to know?"

"How long do you need me to do this? Cause I hate to break it to you, but I don't think Carrie's going anywhere any time soon, and I'm not gonna hold your hand all the way through to graduation."

"No, of course not," Nick says, "I wouldn't ask you to. I really do just need a month or two, like I said. Carrie and I have never broken up for more than three weeks, so I think if I can get a little bit past that point, I should be fine."

"Cool," Flynn says. "What do I get out of this?"

Nick cringes. "I know I'm asking for a huge favor here. I'll pay for all our dates and everything, we can go wherever you want, and I can drive, too, whenever you want me to, if that helps."

"Not a bad deal," Flynn decides. "What kind of PDA are you expecting? I assume that's the main point here."

"Whatever you're cool with," Nick says quickly. "Doesn't need to be anything major, as long as you can, you know, act like you like me, let me walk you to class, post a couple dates on your instagram, stuff like that."

"Easy," Flynn says. "Okay. I just need to check on one more thing, give me a second." She pulls out her phone and opens up her text thread with Julie.

hey

so

just curious

you're like

100% sure you're over Nick

right?

Julie immediately responds with a selfie: she's sitting pressed up against Luke, his arm wrapped around her waist and his chin hooked over her shoulder, both of them grinning like heart-eyed idiots.

Positive.

Flynn looks back up at Nick. "I'm in."

[always-me-meha]

Random shit update lol or me just thinking as usual haha

Hrmmmm do I think he's comfortable being honest about things in his past or in general??? Ehhh idk..... he's getting there, slowly opens up to things and I'll sit and listen. But but I do KNOW he can be a wicked liar, I'm not sure he does it on purpose now or its just a natural response. I just hope that bum works on it or stays honest with me at least lol I hate liars.

So yesssss when I hear shit from other people it has me question, do you deserve me? Am i stoopid? Or you gonna do what you've done to other girls (if what was said even true, the girl that told me things is a crackhead and apparantly a hoe that spreads rumours is what this other girl told me, he even told me this to before). But I still don't think he was ever honest about sleeping with this other chick or not before we started dating but were still together. I have no proof so I have to let it go I guess eh?

We're finally dating, time to just focus on the now and not the confusing as hell past 4 months lol like yes I probably shouldn't of waited and stuck around as long as I did but I did get away from him eventually!!!! which is how we were apart for a whole month. Enough time for us to miss eachother plenty and make him clue in if it was worth losing me LOL

If I didn't fuck up and went to town to gamble that day and bumped into dee, we probably still wouldn't be talking honestly. Crazy hmmmm like a butterfly effect hahaha

And I know i know I went crazy blasting him the other night but man I was high and pissed off at him and didn't see his point in the things he was telling me or mad about cause of course i was in la la land. Also I'm someone who once she's pissed off and wants answers or to resolve things, I want it now! I don't have patience at alllllllll. Where I know guys need their space to calm down, and I tend to keep pushing. I did finally let him go to sleep cause he was right, we both needed to calm down.

I'm proud we didn't block eachother through all that haha. Told him when he asked me out I didn't wanna do the blocking game!!!!!

But being I didn't sleep all night I was still pissed off of course haha so I messaged 'so it's tomorrow.....' and he was like not rn I got bad news (his friend passed)..... I was a CUNT, I was like I don't give a fuck I'm done!!!!! Idk if he was like wow, running away again, I said I wasn't running away I'm standing up for myself cause he treats me poorly. He right away said he was sorry and for me to come over. Also I said I was struggling to hearing shit, so he wanted to make sure I bloody napped!!!!! And I did wanna support him of course I said I was sorry he lost his friend. I felt like shit for flipping out but damn. There's usually always something that happend just as I'm like trying to leave or when I did leave.

Anywhooooo, we made up and had a good time together, stayed sober all day, he tried to get me to sleep but I wouldn't lol I did eat! So that was something at least. He talked and explained things to me more why he doesn't want me hanging with dee or being at that house. I totally understand it all!!!!!! He was right about everything, even my councilor today says for once she agrees with him, stay away from there.

So that's a professional and him advising me. I will for now on listen to that! Besides I don't know what things I said that day that may come to bite me in the ass too -.- and all the druggies in town are starting to know my name and vehicle, police I belive now recognize my vehicle. Shits just dangerous. Me driving high is not okay. Me evem giving rides to the store is not okay cause I'm still an acomplice even if I think I'm being safe and not involved by staying in my car.

Just shits been I guess more crazy since I started hanging with her even tho it's been only twice. Because it's me making these decisions on my own, not him. Yeah maybe I learned stuff and met them cause of him but I'm chosing to make these bad decisions on my own even after being told to never hang with them without him. Even after the last time I promised I wouldn't and I did it anyway. Simply cause I was mad n wanted a hoot. See my own attitude problems gonna get me in shit smh.

So yes this is why he wants to stop so I will stop smoking too. Today was another slip. Without going on to more blah blah blah, he was given stuff last night when looking for someone. Being a nice honest guy said it was on the desk (smh which right away triggered me to wanting a hoot and trying not to be mad at him for even telling me it was there lol see it's like, I'm like don't lie to me!!!!! Then right there in my head was like why you tell me that, shouldve lied and hid it!!!!!!!!) But no I glad he was honest..... just I was slightly disappointed cause I was excited and confident about us not smoking today bleh. It wasn't on my mind at all till I heard it was there.

[waterforlorn]

day eighteen. october 24th.

uhhh, it's been a while. hey me, hope you're doing better. yeah, i know it's been a weird few days.

in fact, i did write down the 22nd, but decided to not keep it. it's uh, not been my proudest moment. it's whatever. guess it was good i got it out .. in a safe space instead of the usual way. don't think camp jupiter would've appreciated me clipping one of their warriors' wings. i would have, without a doubt, but he knew what was best for him and pissed off before i got the chance to.

anyway, enough of that. emotions, feelings, thoughts. i've not exactly been sticking to that, i know.

thoughts first, that's been the easiest factor. i'm starting to regret coming on this trip. not because of nico, nah. cause nico's great. it's not that. it's this life he had before me that i don't know and all these demigods he knows? and who adore him? from what i've heard? not that i blame them. he's an idiot, but in a good way. and now there's me and we've only known each other for what? half a year? sure we've seen plenty together, but still. i guess … we're back to what? entry 05? i'm … and i fucking hate writing it down more than FEELING it. i'm insecure.

good moment to jump over to emotions and feelings, i guess. i fucking hate feeling like that. it's such a damn bother. i shouldn't feel threatened by everybody nico likes.. who likes him, but i do. that just means i… don't believe in us, doesn't it? I WANT TO. it's so complicated. that's exactly why i never wanted any of this. if i'm alone, nobody can make me feel like that and i can hate the world all i want. it's like nico opened some goddamn door and now there's more and more people sneaking in and i HAVE to like them. so fucking annoying. but most of it all is just that goddamn fear he's gonna reconnect with someone who makes him realize he made a mistake. or something.

man, i got no fucking idea. i'd ask him, but fuck it if he ever finds out. don't think he realized yet he's way too good for me. don't wanna be the one to slap it in his face. i'm gonna guess his old friends are gonna do that. would he be mad if i asked him to turn around? probably.

we're a day out i think. tops. i know he's got one more stop planned. he said i'd like it and with his success history when it comes to judging that, i believe him. but i can't help wanting to drag it out. i'm not ready to learn about that side of him.

i think?

fuck, how should i know?

i just know that if one of them just looks at nico the wrong way or touches him, i'm gonna flip. it's fucking crazy. i was NEVER the jealpus type, i was never the possessive type. sure, i … had my way to keep jonathan my corporal… strung along so he'd only have eyes for me and i guess… that could count as an early start …of possessiveness? huh. ironic that HE was the one who wanted me tied down and i ran. i left the damn army because of him. to get away from this ….claim he thought he had on me. he set his fucking hound on me when he had a damn WIFE at home. like what? he's allowed to hate fuck some lady for his parents, but i'm supposed to be his puppy? pffhht.

i never hid that what we had was … not monogamous. on both sides. no fucking idea - to this day, what he thought when he demanded i stop and asked me to become HIS. like i ever would've agreed.

yeah, irony's back. cause now .. well, we both wanted to only fuck each other. RIGHT? yah, i'm sure nico .. felt the same. sure, our talk about it was awkward, but we agreed, right? yeah. back then i wasn't ready. that cost me the only home and family i ever knew. i'm not worried about it happening again, nico's .. nothing like him, which is good, cause he's not my type anymore. sure, he was hot - he probably still is, but that whole asshole i'm superior and you gotta kneel and do what i tell you attitude? nah. i like what i got now. nico's .. great. he really is. i wanna say they're polar opposites cause jonathan was too violent and nico off the battle field is too gentle. but i'd pick gentle over violent at any point in time, especially cause i know that together? we can be a force of nature on the battle field.

anyway. uh, that should sum up thoughts, feelings and emotions? i think? pffhhht, no idea, but who cares, right? see ya, journal.

[stardust-static]

You know what I'm gonna try not to do when I have a baby someday? Make people hold baby when baby and person don't want it. My little cousin had a baby and she's always trying to hand me her baby. Her baby hates being held by people who aren't her and will cry very easily. So I don't like holding her, but she's always being handed to me, and she'll squirm and whine while her mom soothes her and I'm like "just take her back!".. it's stressful. Luckily I know the cure to this situation. I just play cartoons or baby shark on my phone like someone with poor parenting skills. Just go straight to iPad baby therapy, but then baby just has your phone for the rest of the night. So yeah... It was a stressful thanksgiving kinda.

As we know, I'm pms'ing. My mom-- pissing me off with the "when are you gonna have a baby?" Questions. Her and my dad think they're being so silly, but it's not funny. It's making me so mad, and I'm going to have to tell them to stop... again. Like I should have only had to say it once, right? Then theres the rest of my family. It's so annoying, and fucked up honestly. Like no one should be doing that to a newlywed couple. How many other ways would you like me to say "we're working on it" without being vulgar? I shouldn't even have to say that. You all know that we're headed that way. I've told them all we definitely want kids. Like fucking chill with the questions about babies every time you see me. I'm not just a baby factory. What the fuck. Ugh... That was draining. Day one PMS was not the time and place for all of that. You better believe I was the first one out that door. Christmas you can find me with a cran vodka strapped to my hand and I'll leave Bailey to the baby questions. He'll love that. My parents will at least have been dealt with by then. They're in trouble.. 😑

[5tar9litter]

Things my mom said multiple times:

Partying:

“I don’t know why I don’t like it. I should like drinking and gambling. I should like talking to those thai girls even if they are hella rude. I should leave all of my kids alone at home while I go party past 12 at midnight. I guess I’m just weird like what they said. I don’t like talking to those people. They are so annoying, always boasting about how much money they make and then wasting it all away in the casino! Why don’t I like them? Why do I hate it so much??”

She’s said this exact topic at least 60 times this year of 2023. And I’d explain it’s because they are horrible ppl and it’s okay to have different hobbies from others. At least you are saving money, avoiding health risks, and just go find better ppl to be with. Plus I am the same way. I hate those ppl with the same passion but I just found better people who doesn't do those type of things.

Then she’d forget what I just said and start the same exact paragraph by next week or month.

And I start to interrupt when she is talking now because it’s annoying having them ask dumb ass questions esp if you just consulted them like 45x’s now. It’s just a waste of time and I noticed I’ve been either telling her she and I already talked about this or changing the subject completely.

Food:

“I wish we ate more sweets. As a family, nobody in this family likes it. I buy so much cookies, sodas, pizzas, apple pies, cakes, and candy but nobody eats all of it?”

I’d explain, “it’s too sweet. And there’s so much too. You buy like 26 apple pies and expect 4 of your kids to eat all of it in a week?? No thanks.”

“But why can’t we be like an american family? Why can’t we just eat all of the sweets like that?”

“But that’s why all of Americans are dying from cardiovascular diseases, Mom. Sweets kill u if you eat a lot, duh. What r u trying to do, kill us?”

“Haha, you are right but look at how good it looks.”

“Gross. It’s too sweet. Why did you buy so much sweets from the store again? You know 19 years of my life, none of us like cakes and stuff like that.”

“*attempts to eat all 26 apple pies by herself and stops eating by the 3rd apple pies* yuck! it’s so sweet! Why can’t I finish all of it?”

“Facepalms**”

SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AHHH. She knows we don't like sweets. Period. Yet she buys it all the time and always complains that we never eat it even though none of us wanted it. If we were like, "Mom can we buy these cupcakes?" then we don't eat all of it. Then that makes sense that she'd be mad. But she's actually encouraging us to eat unhealthy on a daily basis. Like do you know how much pizzas we've had delivered to house on the daily basis? 6 BOXES for 4 KIDS AHHHH

This behavior did start my brother's food addictions though. Because she would encourage us to eat all of this and they would finish all 5 or 6 boxes by themselves. Now my brothers are having heart problems and stomach issues. Bruh.

Family in laws:

"When you date or get married, you are gonna have to sacrifice your whole life to your man's parents. You have to clean and cook for them 24/7. You will become a slave to them. Dating is never fun. It's only miserable"

I just nod my head and act like I'm listening every time she says this.

My job

"You shouldn't go to college and get a job. Just open a business. I'll support you."

She doesn't even have enough money to buy me food. I have to work to pay for it. It's so annoying because my dad told me the same thing but he can't even pay the bills so he's always stressing out.

"You should start a Youtube channel."

I respond with, "No thank you. I hate filming stuff. I don't even post 1 picture on my other social media so what makes you think I wanna?"

"Just saying. It'd be a good start."

"Yeah yeah."

She brings up this same topic of me starting a Youtube channel another 30x.

"Why do you keep telling me this, Mom!?"

Usually, I end up getting really pissed off. I hate when I get mad at anybody including my mom but she has a weird habit of repeating herself.

She really wants me to fucking start a youtube channel. I did start one at some point but then I got busy with school or other things and it was really boring for me so I just stopped. But it annoys me that she doesn't understand that I don't like making youtube videos especially at the moment. In the future, I can see it happening but not now. She still keeps suggesting it.

Another thing that annoys me is that she always tell me that my job sucks.

It took me 6 months to get my job and I love it to death. Even if it's minimal pay: Around 16$/hr where I live.

My coworkers are so nice. My managers are so kind and patient with me. The customers are so good to me and they treat me like family. The job is easy and fun. Sometimes I get yelled at by customers because I work at retail and I need an ID from them in order for them to purchase the cigarettes. 97% of them are pretty compliant. So it's fast and easy and if they argue, my coworkers always back me up. They are so kind compared to my old job where I had no support. So, I am always happy to come to work because for someone in my position and history, especially with a tight schedule, this job is like paradise for me. So every time I have a small issue like customers being an idiot or me being hit on at work which is all the time, my mom would say my job sucks.

I call her out on it because at least I am working and you know, compared to my old job at Petco, it's actually really good for a college student. It's close by and easy and relaxes me even if there's small mishaps.

She says she just meant all of that work for 17/hr. I tell her, "For now, this is what I just gotta work with it. But it doesn't suck. I'm just really grateful I have a job.

Babies:

"Do not have babies when you are young." Valid.

Boyfriends

"No dating until you finish school and get a career."

"

Valid.

"You can only dress like that around your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only go watch movies or go out with your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only get a house when you get a boyfriend."

"When you get a boyfriend, you'll have someone to hang out with all the time."

"WHY DO YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND SO MUCH I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HAVING ONE?!!?"

Mom, ever since I was young. You instilled this mindset that I need a boyfriend to have freedom in life. You won't even let me go out without a guy accompanying me and every guy I am just friends with you think I am dating him. AHH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?

"OOoh, looks like you are ready for a boyfriend~" My mom would tease me all the time and at the same time she'd tell me, "No boyfriend! You are too young. Not until you are a doctor!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Casinos:

For 5 years, this is all she talks about. She hates it there with so much hatred that it's incomprehensible but she keeps coming back to work there. Her coworkers also got annoyed with how repetitive she can be and she's told me about this. They told her there's so much careers out there. Why does she keep coming back to the casino if she hates it so much then quits within 5 months??

This year in 2023. she just quit one casino and now she secretly applied to ANOTHER ONE this month in August and my dad found out and yelled at her. I remembered their argument. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOLD ME YOU'LL NEVER GO BACK AND YOU WENT AND APPLIED WITHOUT TELLING ME? YOU KNOW YOU ARE GONNA QUIT AGAIN. YOU DID THIS 5 TIMES ALREADY. WHY DON'T YOU LEARN? YOU CAN'T DO GRAVEYARD SHIFTS. YOU KNOW HOW SICK YOU GET WHEN DEALING PAST 3AM. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!" I understand my mom wants to work again but doesn't know any other way to make lots of money with just a high school degree. But I agree this can't be healthy. When the other casino she applied see that she just quit 5 other major(popular) casinos within 3 years. They are gonna reject her applications because they know she likes to apply then quit after 5 months.

New business plans:

"I should buy those asian plants and sell it on facebook!"

I encourage her. She's been talking about this for a year now.

"I should cook food and sell it on facebook marketplace like those thai girls!"

I encourage her alot for this because I think she'd do well. She's been talking about this for 2 years now.

"I should work in another job that isn't the casino." *never does so*

"I wanna open an asian fast food shop with a drive through. I never seen one here in America."

I encourage her.

"I want to be a real estate agent. *Continues to explain how much money she'd make and swears she'll finish the classes to get the certificate.*"

This convinced me and my dad that she would actually do it. My dad is really hard to convince so I was surprised he let her. My dad said he'd support her until she gets a degree which is supposed to take 6 months only. She paid $1000, took the class for 5 months, then quit with no refunds.

She told me it's because the professor said she won't be able to become a millionaire until a year later because the economy is rocky right now so nobody's buying houses right now especially with the interest rates being so high for them.

I understood it but I told her like at least finish the last month and just take the exam. You get to cheat too like they do not care at all. Like just get the certificate and get it over with.

She explains she don't have the confidence to finish it. So she never finish the class or the exam. She ended up wasting $1000 even though I offered to cheat for her. ITS LITERALLY AN OPENED BOOK TEST. THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY TOLD HER THE ANSWERS FOR THE EXAM SO IT LITERALLY IS JUST FILLING IN THE BLANK.

After she did that, I've lost all hopes for her bro.

I don't encourage her to start a business because she's always quit or never make action. But you know what did she do? She bought this asian plant and gave it to some random mien woman to profit off of her for free :D R u fucking kidding me? Mom, why. That was your money right there. U bought that plant to make money on facebook but instead you gave it to some random asian lady. She was pretty disappointed in herself as well.

She always talk about: her Nightmares, hair loss, unhealthy eating, nutritional deficiencies, walking at the park, how much she hates my dad and how dirty the house is.

I don't really care and actually respond to her about it.

Things my dad always say:

"Always invest your money!"

"Just take easier classes."

Yeah sure let me just not graduate college by not taking my required Biology: Anatomy and physiology and statistics classes.

"You have to graduate with a bachelor!!"

Also refuses to support my education**

"You are gonna be a millionaire!"

"Why am I such a loser?" My dad always says that to himself.

He brags about me alot especially about how I won 2cd place on a contest and ended up being interviewed on tv.

I luv my parents but omg they are so dumb.

[juuunebuugg]

This gonna be a ranting post just fyi

•

•

•

•

Ok look ik your pissed off and everything cause yeah idk how many times I have to fucking admit it but yeah I f'ed up ok? I fucking get that there was absolutely no need to fucking take your anger out on me dude

Like hey I'm angry too but I wasn't taking my anger out on you at fucking all but it's fine because hey if it helps you cope by legit abusing me it's fine I could care less

Thanks for the slight hearing loss two days ago ik I played it off but that shit actually fucking hurt

I already have sensitive ears so thanks for that means so fucking much too me

And yk what I want to rant about this shit to other people but I can't because then Idk if they'll tell you and if they do guess what's gonna happen:

It's gonna be a week long affair because I'm fucking ranting about shit my bad for having feelings dude

Oh and another thing that pisses me off is the fact you brought up past shit as an "example" if you didn't care about past shit you wouldn't have fucking talked about it in the first place meaning guess what?

You still fucking care about that shit whether you like it or not and I could care less

Honestly it's in the past keep it there

I also regret dating you ngl because afterwards nothing was the same and I realize that now

Maybe we really should've stayed friends I shouldn't have said anything and I should've kept it at that maybe it wouldn't be this way

Another thing I also realized when I recorded our convo in private I am sorry about that but it didn't matter because if I told the other person what you told me to the t then it wouldn't have mattered besides coming out of my mouth

Look ik it's harsh but idgaf

That's how I truly feel but if I say that you'll find a way to blame every little inconvenience on me

Like that first convo we had really?

Really blaming me for something you should've done sooner

Our shared friend would've understood what you told them and would've listened they weren't mad about what you said about the other person dude...

Fuck man communication is key but ffs

[aaaarsonist]

Okay I've been warned about episode 11 and 20 aaaaand I'm starting e11 right now so I'm not only scared, but I'm also pissed off because I hate Christmas episodes 😭

I like to pretend that holidays episode don't exist, because Steven already accompanied her to a lot of places that he knew were important to her, even when they weren't together. And what they're doing is so fucking stupid, like Michael stupid. I'm haaaaating this

And Red playing with Eric's toy???? Wtf

NAH HE DID NOT SAY THAT TO JACKIE– STEVEN HYDE I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS. JUST FOR THAT, SHE SHOULD PULL A MICHAEL AND GO TO CALIFORNIA TO HAVE FUN WITHOUT TELLING YOU, BECAUSE SHE DESERVES IT. ASSHOLE

I can't believe him omg OF COURSE SHE'S STILL ANGRY, YOU MORON.

I'M CRYING I WANNA HUG MY GIRL SO BAD AND PROTECT HER FROM EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THIS AFTER THE "you're beautiful", THIS FIGHT SHOULD'VE HAPPENED BEFORE THAT, IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE UGH

Why couldn't he say something like "Jackie, I can't promise you I'll change my opinion about marriage, but I do want a future with you" or some shit like that? 😭

LET'S GO GIRL, PUNCH HIM, YOU RULE.

Girl, I love you, but you're being kinda ridiculous 😭 I still love you tho

I CAN'T STAND TO SEE HER CRY– 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Nah I died a bit after that conversation next to the car 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I don't love people" he says. "I love you" HE FUCKING SAID WHEN HE CHEATED ON HER AND WANTED HER BACK. I'M GETTING MORE AND MORE PISSED. JACKIE PLEASE GO TO VACATION AND HAVE FUN WITH A LOT OF CUTE GUYS

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STEVEN DID MICHAEL'S STUPIDITY CATCH TO YOU OR WHAT? FEZ JUST TOLD YOU THAT JACKIE STILL LOVES YOU AND YOU JUST DO NOTHING????? UGH I FUCKING HATE MEN AND THEIR INCAPACITY TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS. GOD DAMNIT I'M SO MAD I'M CRYING. FUCKING DUMBASS

Why does Kitty have so much beef with Donna now wtf

Their reconciliation was fucking stupid. I know, I know I shouldn't expect much from a sitcom, but they had the chance to make them solve their problems by talking about what they miss and love from the other and they wasted it soooooo bad

"Yeah man, she's my chick" God I'm so weak it's disgusting. Someone punch me

Finally, season seven

Something irrational that's been bothering me: I hate that the intro's been the same since like, season 3 or something. I wanted Steven and Jackie together in the car 😭😭😭😭

"He's perfect" I'M SOBBING. THE WAY SHE DEFENDED HIM. I LOVE MY GIRL SO MUCH.

"Who needs a father anyway" SAY IT LOUDER QUEEN

Eric is back to being annoying. I miss early seasons' Eric.

FORMAN AND SON I'M CRYING. Both Red and Steven are both big softies and I love them both so much 🖤

I'm on episode 9 and I'm liking this season so far. Jackie and Hyde have a lot of cute moments and I'm loving them. Let's see how long does my happiness last lol

[s-brant]

The Endless Summer (2/?)

(gif: @beccs) (PART ONE) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: A day out on the water goes awry and puts JJ, John B, and Y/N in danger. With tensions rising and the stakes higher than ever, JJ finds it difficult to control his feelings.

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: Angst, implied sexual content, strong language, graphic violence, and JJ being an emotionally confused asshat.

A/N: Welcome back! Thanks for the love on this series, I’m so glad you guys like it and I hope this part is just as good. Things get a little heated in this chapter, so buckle up. Let me know if you enjoyed this. Have fun!

JJ isn't sure why she did it.

He wasn't sure then and he isn't sure now, but he knows one thing for certain: there isn't any going back to how things once were now that the barrier between them came crashing down.

Sweat drips off of his skin from the relentless heat of the Caribbean that has made their recent lives hell with the painful tinge of sunburn atop their tans and heat exhaustion they must be careful to avoid at all costs. They were educated on both topics by Pope, their godsend of a survival encyclopedia in human form, who advised them to spend most of their day outside of necessary tasks like fishing and constructing stable shelter under the shady cover of the treetops.

The sole reason he and John B aren't hiding in the safety of the shade is that it's their day to fish, but he's not thinking about the sun. In fact, neither of them is. They're both wondering where their third fishing buddy is.

It took roughly ten minutes of spearfishing with him in comfortable silence for JJ to finally break and spill his guts about what happened last night. Though there was an unspoken agreement to never tell anyone that their hatred has turned into desire, he couldn't help it. He was going mad trying to unravel it in his head.

After all, he already had a conversation with JB about the recent shift in their behavior with each other by the ocean last night, so it seems fitting to pick up where they left off with the calm and clear blue water in front of them again.

He walks on the jagged outcropping of rock that serves as their perch to observe the fish without disturbing the pattern of the current they swim through with John B closely behind.

"One second she's pissed at me, the next she's all over me. It makes no sense. Then, she didn’t say anything to me after it happened," JJ says with his face hardened into a look of concentration at the fish he squints against the sun to aim at, "Not even "Fuck you, Maybank" or one of her weirdly creative threats. She just sat there all night and talked to everyone but me."

His gaze slips away from the water as his chosen fish disappears from sight before he can bother to throw the spear, eyeing up his friend's reaction to the news.

John B doesn't seem that surprised by it, because who else, aside from everyone else in Kildare who knows of their "hatred" for one another, could've seen it coming as much as he did? He considers it for a second, then props his arm up on the handle side of the spear he digs into the rock to lean against.

"I'm pretty sure that means she likes you."

JJ retorts, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

Why would anyone ignore a person they like? It makes no sense to him. Every time he wanted a person, he'd simply walk over and make it happen. It's never been difficult for him to pursue the people he finds himself attracted to...Well, except for her. For a guy that also ignored her for the rest of the night and pretended their moment in the woods didn't happen, he has some balls of steel to be chastising her for the same things he did.

John B shrugs and says, "I'm being serious, dude. Sarah wouldn't even acknowledge my existence when I worked on the Druthers, and I thought it was some stuck-up rich person thing but it wasn't."

They shouldn't be talking at all right now as to not scare away the fish, but they do it anyway. They both know he won't let it go until it's out of his system for good. He wouldn't allow himself to forget it if he wanted to, so its better to talk it out than turn stir crazy from ruminating over it 24/7.

Though it's, as he worded it yesterday, hot as balls out, being by the sea lessens the feeling of it by a landslide.

The breeze they crave whenever they work on their huts or forage through the forest for wild berries, coconuts, or potential building supplies blows on them without pause for the time they spend here, which almost makes it more dangerous. They stand under the direct harm of the UV rays frying them without truly feeling it burn yet, and he dreads the next few days in anticipation of the returning sunburn he just peeled off of his shoulders the other day.

JJ walks down the side to get a better view of the water, balancing precariously on the sharpened edge with the spear clenched tightly in one hand. The breeze is strong enough to threaten his balance, but he holds firm and digs his toes into the sedimentary rock for traction. His body sways in the midday sun with the struggle for stability, or, at least he suspects its midday.

Since being stranded here, time is a foreign concept to them. With no phones, clocks, or any guide to go off of other that the position of the sun above to display the hours that pass, they've lost complete track of what day it is, let alone how long minutes or hours truly are in comparison to the endless summer they live within. They suspect it's been a month since they were left here, but, in all honesty, it could be two. None of them had the sense to mark the days in a tally until it was too late.

He says, lifting his arm to throw the spear, "Well, she is a stuck up rich person, so maybe it's just—"

"You know I'm right here, don't you?"

The sound of her voice from a few feet behind them startles JJ into turning around to look at her right when he lets go of the spear.

Unfortunately for him, the jerking movement throws off his carefully distributed weight and skews his balance, making the feet placed on the edge slip from underneath him and send him slipping down into the water. His calf is the first body part to hit the rocks, and the groan of pain he lets out at the feeling of the jagged rock slicing through his skin could make her heart stop mid-beat. But what truly scares her is seeing the back of his head hit the ground too.

Before he can slide the rest of the way into the water, two pairs of hands are grabbing onto his arms and heaving him up with all of their strength. She and John B grit their teeth with the effort it takes to pull him back up, their muscles burning from the strain, and once his feet are over the ledge, he pushes off the rock to help them the rest of the way. Drops of his blood disperse into the water off the edge from where he cut himself, dripping until there's hardly any left.

Once he's safely laid back down a few feet from where he slipped, Y/N is kneeling in front of him in a matter of seconds. The rock beneath her knees opens small cuts into her skin, but she doesn't pay it any heed. She sits on her heels to lessen the minor pain and lean forward to inspect the damage he took with nothing on her mind other than worry.

Soon enough, John B joins her to kneel at his feet as he sits up and watches them eye up his injury as though it’s some sort of ghastly, life threatening thing instead of a gash that won't need stitches. He watches them against the glittering ocean, waves washing up on the rocks around them to sting his wound with saltwater.

"It's a scratch, not an amputation," JJ says.

She ignores him with a frown lining her pretty features and twists his leg by the ankle to get a better view of the wound in the sunlight. It extends up the entire length of his calf, almost from ankle to knee, and dribbles fresh blood onto her hands as well as the ground beneath them. From what he can tell, it doesn't look all too severe. No muscle or bone can be seen, so it's a simple, superficial scratch.

When he doesn't get a response from either her or John B while they're too busy checking out his leg, he says again, "Guys, I'm serious, it's fine."

This time, she doesn't hesitate to answer.

"Yeah, well you may not need stitches but you still have infection to worry about. This wilderness isn't exactly the cleanliest place," she says retorts with as much snark as usual, and he quietly rejoices in the fact that she's finally acting normal after what happened last night, "Not to mention, you hit your head pretty hard. There's no need to act all tough."

He shrugs.

"It's not an act, it really doesn't hurt that bad."

John B stands and smears the blood on his hands off on the front of his shorts.

"I'll be right back, guys, I'm gonna go get stuff to patch him up."

Just like that, they are left plunging into silence as he is running away down the peninsula back to the beach they've claimed as their own.

Silence has always been her least favorite thing to share with JJ. She'd rather anything over it—screaming, fighting, joking, friendly conversation, or even what they did together yesterday night. Anything is preferable over the tense and insufferable feeling of silence when they're alone together with none of their friends, or their playful hatred, between them as a barrier between them.

Instead of seeing the same pestering jerk she always used to when she looks at him, she sees the memory of how he looked at her in the woods. He didn't look at her like she was the worst person to ever walk the planet, or like she was his least favorite Kook "Princess", he looked at her like she meant something to him.

They sit together in uncomfortable silence in the time it takes John B to rush to the beach and back, careful not to slip on the rocks the way JJ did, with the supplies from the dinghy in his arms. It isn't much to work with, but at least it's something to keep the nasty wound on his leg protected from dirt and germs. She's sure he'd leave it uncovered and up to fate if he had it his way.

Before he can set them down on the wet rocks, thus ruining the gauze and bandages in craters filled with ocean water, she gestures at JJ with a stern command, "Take off your shirt."

His brows raise.

"Shit, Princess, take me out to dinner first."

She groans in frustration, "Can you be quiet for a second and actually listen to me for once?"

He catches John B's gaze with wide eyes, but complies nonetheless, reaching down to tug the tank off of his torso by the frayed hem until it's balled up in his closed fist to hand off to her. Her eyes only linger on his body for a quick second on accident before snatching it from him.

Her bloodstained palms lay the shirt out on the flattest stretch of rock she can find to act as a barrier from the small puddles of water to protect the supplies. One nod at John B has him setting them down atop the navy fabric as she glances up at JJ with a smug smile.

"Believe it or not," she taunts, unscrewing the cap to the disinfectant, "I didn't ask for it so you could sit there and look pretty."

The words throw him back in time to their conversation on the beach while they thatched the roof to their hut, and he wonders how long she's been waiting to throw that back in his face since he first said it.

He grins at her as he asks, "You think I'm pretty?" but before he can say more, she's pouring a generous amount of the hydrogen peroxide along the length of his cut without a warning for him to prepare himself. His leg jerks away on instinct to save himself from the burning sensation, but she grips his ankle tightly enough to force him to stay still.

His nose scrunches up with the urge to groan in pain, and he does a little. Through grinding teeth, he winces in response to the peroxide slipping into every cell of open skin and bubbling up like the white water of the waves as it kills the bacteria lingering in the gash.

"Does it hurt now?" Y/N asks.

She's looking up at him through her lashes with her lips curled into a smirk as she packs gauze onto the wound until it's covered to her satisfaction. And it should be the last thing he's thinking about right now after cutting up his leg and hitting his head hard enough to worry her about concussions, but he can't help it. Looking down at her like this, it's impossible for him to not think about the unfinished business they have.

Everything is the same as it was yesterday—the tattered white top, the red panties in place of a bikini, sunburnt cheeks, and a taunting look that he'll never get tired of seeing. But that's precisely why he's reminded of it. She's wearing the same clothes and looking at him the way she did on the beach before any of last night's antics occurred, and he can't keep himself from wondering if it'll happen again.

"Yeah," he finally responds.

Her smirk grows for a second before she gets back to work.

"Good."

JJ subtly eyes her up from where she shifts on her knees to set the open gauze wrappers under the peroxide bottle in exchange for the bandage wrap, but he isn't as subtle as he thinks. She can feel his stare no matter how sneaky he attempts to be. He may be able to evade John B's attention, since he dove into the ocean to retrieve the wooden spear that began to float out in the tide, but she never misses a thing. Not when it comes to him.

When he looks at her, he finds memories.

Her legs folded up beneath her bring him back to how smooth they felt on his palms when he lifted them up around his hips. Her rosy lips pressing into a line in concentration bring him back to the coconut flavor he tasted on them. Her nipples poking against the fabric of her shirt bring him back to when he lifted it up over her breasts to suck at the sensitive skin until he got a moan from her—There isn't a place he can stare without going back to last night.

Part of him hates that.

He can't stand that a girl who he spent the last five years hating has found a way into his daydreams. Why couldn't it have been anyone else? Why did she have to lure him into her trap? He supposes there's nothing he can do about it now, though. After hours of stewing over it, he's reached the conclusion that it was likely a one-time thing, a mistake made in the heat of the moment that she won't make again, and he should get the idea of it out of his head.

When she has to adjust her grip to hold the gauze in place while she wraps the bandage around his leg, he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and jerks away again. She glances up at him with her best, "Are you kidding me?" face. Didn't he say he was tough?

"I'm starting to think you're a sadist, 'cause it's like you're trying to make it hurt," he says.

She gasps, feigning offense.

"Me? Enjoying this? It's not like we've hated each other for years or anything."

And though he may not realize it, this is her way of distracting him from the pain of having her apply added pressure to his cut while she wraps the bandage into place. It has to be tight enough to keep water and sand out, but not so tight that it cuts off circulation, and while it may have been tolerable without her touching it, the contact is enough to make it worse for him.

He asks, "Uh, speaking of, why are you the one doing this? Isn't it some kind of HIPAA thing to treat patients you've threatened to violate with tree branches before?"

The sound of her laughter makes his stomach flutter with butterflies, and he wonders what the hell is wrong with him.

"That's not what HIPAA is, genius"—her eyes crinkle at the sides with her wide smile while she wraps his leg—"and I'm the one doing this because I know way more medical shit than the rest of you."

Even Pope.

"Ohhh right, I forgot. Your dad is this hotshot surgeon and that makes you think you know everything," he taunts.

The casual mention of her father makes her chest ache with something not many of the Pogues, excluding Pope, have felt since being stranded on this island. With their parents either disowning them, absent, abusive, or dead, they have no reason to resist the allure of living here for the months or years it may take to be rescued, but she does.

She misses him.

For the longest time since her mom died, it was her and her dad versus the world. In everything they did, they did it together, and before she met Sarah, he was the closest she had to a best friend. Since they had no other family to help watch her as a child, she grew up in the hospital with him, drawing with crayons on his office’s printer paper with her babysitter and picking up small things along the way from watching him for so long.

He could've chosen to leave her at home, sure, but he didn't want to miss out on seeing her more than he already did, so she spent the majority of her childhood in offices, waiting rooms, and the indoor playground of the PEDs wing.

She takes a deep breath to steady herself after the sucker punch of being reminded of her dad and says, "Well, I know enough and, thankfully for you, I'm the one doing this instead of John B."

From far away, twenty or so feet offshore where their friend is paddling through the water with the lost spear held in one hand, they hear John B shouting an offended, "I heard that!" back at her. It draws a soft chuckle from them both, and she silently thanks him for distracting JJ one last time as she finishes and secures the bandage so it won't unravel.

She wipes her hands off on her water-soaked thighs one more time to get as much of his blood off of her fingers as possible before she reaches out with both arms extended to offer him help to stand. He takes them with a murmured, "Thanks," as they both try not to show how affected they are by the casual touch.

It makes them feel pathetic that something as small as holding each other's hands makes them remember what they did and desperately wish to continue it. Her throat bobs with how she must swallow the lump in her throat at their close proximity, barely breathing now that he's standing close to her with less than a few inches between them.

For a second, they don't move away. They stay face to face, and all she can think of is how badly she wants to kiss him again. But she can't do anything yet, not when she hears someone screaming from the water.

"There's a shark!" John B screams as he paddles back faster than he's ever swam in his life, already close enough to the peninsula that they can see the terror in his eyes when they turn to look.

Surely enough, there a tip of a fin too pointed to pass off as a dolphin cutting through the surface of the water to alert them of the fish's presence, but if that weren't enough, the water is clear enough for them to see its outline.

Thankfully for him, it isn't huge. It looks about as long as he is tall, but that doesn't change the degree of danger. Just because it isn't as big as other sharks doesn't make a bite any less lethal, especially when their only form of medical attention rests on her knowledgeable yet inexperienced shoulders.

For once in his life, JJ is frozen with no clue of what to do.

He's always the man with the plan, the one who jumps into action when others choke up and sit on the sidelines, but this makes him falter. What can he do to help other than stand here and pray John B can out-swim a shark? He's helpless, and now that he's faced with the prospect of losing his best friend for a second time, he doesn't know what to do.

It was his blood in the water that must have attracted the shark, and he was so caught up in his own drama with her and the pain of his cut that he didn't consider the danger of John B jumping in to retrieve the spear he dropped. It's his fault. His best friend is about to be eaten by a shark and it's his fault—

The blurred image of her rushing past in his peripheral vision rips him from his stormy thoughts, and right when he thought it couldn't get worse, it does. Water splashes up around her body and swallows her under the surface after she leaps off the edge of the rock with the aluminum spear from the dinghy raised in her dominant arm.

"Y/N!"

Before he even realizes what he's doing, JJ is screaming out her name, screaming it like he cares, and damns the consequences to dive in after her.

While he was frozen, she sprung into action without thinking of her own life first. She knew he was close to the rock, but not close enough to swim faster than a predator designed for the conditions of the ocean. It took one glance at the spear resting to the side for her to lean down, scoop it up, and get a running start to jump out as far as humanly possible. Various joints and muscles ached from how she strained to push herself far off the rock, taking flight with nothing but their survival in mind.

She sucks in a heaving breath upon breaking the surface, but she doesn't take a second to pause with John B paddling up to her so soon.

"Go back!"

The only answer she gives him is, "Use your spear!" before she brings hers out of the water in anticipation of the grey figure bolting straight for them.

It's a stupid plan, but it's the only one she has, and if one of them is in danger, they'd all risk everything they have to protect them. After all, they're already trapped here with the threat of death every day. Is there anything more worthy of dying for than your friends?

Neither of them is necessarily trying to kill it yet either, they're trying to keep it at a safe distance or hurt it enough so it swims away from them, but she puts all of her strength into spearing the fish between the eyes anyway. Her legs kick tirelessly to keep her afloat while she and John B stab as accurately as they can, choking down a mouthful of salty ocean water from how her head sinks at the surface without the help of her arms to keep her up.

Blood stains the water with a crimson hue spreading out around their bodies—whether it's theirs or the shark's, she doesn't know—and she must keep her lips clamped shut to prevent it from spilling into her mouth, breathing solely through her nose. She can tell her legs are soon to give out on her, but then a pair of hands latch onto her body. Call her irrational or stupid, but even with the clear distinction of human hands on her waist, her mind reacts in instinctual fear.

The touch makes her jolt mid-stab and sobers her feral mind back to reality for a moment until she realizes it's a human touching her, not the shark.

It's JJ.

His arms wrap around her thighs and hoist her up out of the water as much as he can while still swimming, effectively pushing himself underwater with one last gasp for air.

The sudden shift in view has her gaze shifting around to take in the new sights with a gush of red water rushing off of her onto the splashing surface: a light grey tail whips around in the chaos, the shark's head oozes blood from the multiple puncture wounds that didn't push quite deep enough, and its jaws snap right where John B's arm is before he yanks it back.

After a fraction of a second, it clicks with her that there's no time to waste watching her friend almost get his arm chomped off while she takes in the unbelievable sight. Her slippery grip on the handle remains as firm as possible, and she raises the spear over her head with an improved accuracy she never could've had from where she previously aimed it before. All of their shots landed well enough, but with the height advantage, she won't allow herself to fuck it up this time with her friend's life hanging in the balance.

She hardly recognizes her own frantic voice shouting at him, "Spear it in the gills!"

Her hands bring the razor-sharp tip of the spear down into its head repeatedly, and she isn't sure whether it's the splashing water or tears wetting her face when she buries the weapon down into it for a final time right when John B lodges his wooden spear in its gills.

Whatever she did, it must've hit its brain, because the animal halts its thrashing. Its teeth no longer snap at her friend, nor does its tail whip around in the water as violently as it did a moment ago.

As quickly as it started, it drops off into a sickening calm that leaves the white bubbles dissolving into a puddle of bloody water surrounding the trio and the fish that dies with no small amount of guilt on her part. There was no choice but to kill it. It makes her ache on the inside, but how could she regret it if she knows it saved them? The guilt might ravage her for the upcoming days, but she can't bring herself to regret jumping in after him.

She hardly has the chance to process it before she's being pulled away by both of the boys, her view of the scene shifting drastically once more with the abrupt drop of JJ letting her down in favor of guiding her through the gentle waves. His calloused hand squeezes her arm enough to cut circulation off on their journey back.

Time rushes past her in the next thirty seconds or so it takes them to reach the peninsula again in a paranoid sprint away from where the dead fish floats. One of them, John B she thinks, tosses the aluminum spear he dislodged from the shark's head up onto the rocks and clambers his way back up on his own. The waves closer to land grow rougher than the tender current out where they killed the shark, and she grunts in pain as one sends her and JJ straight into the rocks. His body hits her back with a solid ‘thump’ and forces her to wheeze with the wind getting knocked from her lungs upon impact, nails cracking on the black rock from the desperate grip she uses in an attempt to lift herself.

Meanwhile, JJ can't seem to catch his breath either, nor can he think of anything other than her once he sees that John B isn’t injured.

As soon as he sees his friend is unmarked from the teeth of the shark after he's out of the water, he positions himself behind Y/N to help her out first. He places his hands on her backside to push her up as quickly as he can. Knowing that the carcass in the water will soon attract more sharks in the surrounding area into a feeding frenzy, he'd rather it be him than her. It's a thought that shoots by too fast for him to fully acknowledge the meaning or weight of it at a time like this.

Somehow within his adrenaline-crazed mind, he is careful not to push her onto the jagged edge that sliced his leg open earlier, then climbs after her with little space left between them.

She's coughing up saltwater onto the rocks as he scrambles over to her, eyes wild with the petrifying worry of anything bad happening to her. They scan over her arms, legs, stomach, and back, and he doesn't even realize his hands are reaching out to inspect her as frantically as she had with him when he got hurt.

His hands cup her face, petting over her dripping hair and forcing her to look up so he can see if she somehow got hit in the face. Never has his mind been so void of rational thought, and, knowing him and his impulsive tendencies, that's saying a lot. The confusion of his contradictory feelings for her muddle his mind. Worry and hatred, attraction and anger—they battle it out, but only two manage to reach him externally.

Worry and anger it is. Worry for obvious reasons. Anger because—

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

She has never heard him sound so vicious since the start of whatever odd relationship/friendship/enemy-ship they have. With his worried expression and how he checked her entire body for injury after helping her out of the water, the last thing she would've anticipated from him was anger. Especially not after she saved his best friend's life. Considering what she just did for him, she thinks he should be thanking her, not chastising her.

Behind her back, she can hear a collection of yelling voices and splashing footsteps over the water dripping from them. It can only be the rest of their friends racing up the peninsula to them, but she can't turn around.

She stares at him with utter confusion flooding her at his unexpected outburst. Speechless.

"What was I thinking?" she asks incredulously with her face still cradled between his hands, "I was saving John B's life!"

Their emotional distance and disagreement are made up for in abundance by how physically entangled they've become. It wasn't intentional. It was a result of him needing to get close enough to scour her exposed skin for any bites, but now that they're sitting so near to each other, they forget to back away.

John B is too busy to engage with them.

He's doubled over on the ground with the compulsion to vomit the contents of his stomach into the ocean, but he doesn't dare get close to the edge again after what they went through. Instead, he positions himself away from them and their approaching friends until the half-digested food is forced back through his mouth. The acidic bile scorches his throat and nostrils on the way out.

JJ doesn't have the opportunity to retort back something about her being stupid, because Pope is the first person to reach them and ask, "What the hell happened?"

The rest of the group isn't far behind. It's Kie who asks the next question, then Sarah, then Cleo. They all pop off in rapid succession before either of the three of them can answer.

"Are any of you hurt?"

"Why is he throwing up?"

"Is that a shark?"

The last question draws everyone's attention over to the half-sunken mass of fish bobbing up and down on the breaths of the sea with a wooden spear sticking straight out of its gills. Though it isn't the biggest, most intimidating shark to roam the ocean, its presence doesn't fail to make everyone who looks at it shudder with the realization of what must have happened.

John B wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and points over at her with his trembling arm outstretched.

"She killed it."

The four of them whip their heads in her direction, jaws nearly falling off their faces in disbelief, but she doesn't say anything yet. Because as soon as they feel the eyes of their friends burning into them, she and JJ realize, as though they're returning to reality from the hazy layers of a dreamscape, that they're still holding each other.

She's slumped halfway onto him from when he hauled her body closer to inspect her, so she's essentially sitting on top of him at this point. Her legs, bruised and scratched up from when the waves crested to send them crashing into the rocks, are entangled around his enough that they look back and forth between them and where his hands cup her face in surprise.

JJ doesn't know what came over him.

Now that he snaps out of it at the same time as her, both of them separating and nudging each other away until their bodies are no longer entwined, he feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

When he saw her leaping past him to jump into the water, his mind shut off. He wasn't thinking about himself, or the possibility of getting killed, or anything at all. He was only thinking of the danger she put herself in, then he dove in and the rest of his conscious mind faded away into pure survival instinct. Yet, even after he knew the immediate danger was gone, the adrenaline kept him on edge, desperate to get her back to land and pray none of them were hurt.

"It was trying to attack him," she rasps. Her throat is raw from the saltwater she choked on, and every word burns. "But we did it together."

She pushes herself off the ground with an exhausted sigh.

Muscles spent from the struggle in the water, her legs wobble beneath the weight of her upper body as she takes a few steps to help John B up from his position on his hands and knees. From what she heard, he has thrown up all he has left in his stomach and hasn't gagged again in a minute or so, so attempting to stand again shouldn't be too strenuous for him.

His hand is cold in her grasp from the water soaking their bodies, but it holds firmly enough for her to help him into his feet without their palms slipping apart. No patches of blood are visible on his shorts, nor are there any puncture wounds on him from the sharp teeth that snapped at his arm in the quick but vigorous fight.

They were very, very fortunate to have made it out alive, and when he looks down at her face, he feels nothing but gratitude for the girl he previously saw as nothing more than his girlfriend's best friend. They went into the water as casual acquaintances, companions of convenience and the happenstance of being forced onto this island together, but they've come out of it differently. Now, they're friends.

Now, she's a Pogue.

He smiles at her, glancing up at their friends as their questions die down at the sight of his crazy grin, and says, "That was some real Pogue shit right there, Y/N." His eyes come back to meet hers. "I think it's about time we officially make you one of us. What do you think?"

She's opening her mouth to respond when Kiara cuts her off. The rest of them are staring at the trio as if they have ten heads sprouting from their bodies for not immediately surrendering more details of their near-death encounter other than saying she killed it.

"I'm sorry, can we please rewind to the part where you got attacked by a shark first?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I get a drumroll please for..."

The campfire is roaring with the abundance of sticks, leaves, and branches thrown onto the pile to fuel it as she feels a strong pair of arms looping around her thighs to lift her into the expansive, star-flecked sky.

In a flash of haunting memory, she relives the moment where JJ dove into the water after her and lifted her body above the surface to give her the high ground over the shark. She relives its thrashing hunger, the water splashing on her, and the cloudy hue of blood around them that she hoped wasn't either of the boys. For a second, as the world grows taller with her new perspective, she is brought back to the sudden shift she felt then and feels her stomach drop in panic, anticipating the danger.

But then the sound of her friends laughing, as well as the surging fire and crashing waves, comes back to her and forces the frightful flashback away. Her hip fits perfectly in the curve of John B's shoulder, and she lets her head fall back in giggling laughter at how he hoists her up in the air as though she's a holy figure of worship for the Pogues to kneel to.

His voice can likely be heard across the entire island when he shouts, "The Shark Conqueror!"

The group erupts into a triumphant mixture of cheers and laughter that fills the beach, everyone celebrating in their narrow escape earlier today...everyone except JJ.

After John B divulged the gory details of what happened, from JJ's fall to her picking up the spear and jumping in to save him from the shark, they made their way back with enough conversation to last the month. They all asked questions and took peeks back at where it happened in morbid curiosity, wondering how on earth they managed to come out of the situation without a scratch.

The rest of the afternoon continued on with the same buzzing energy that can only be created from the thrill of being alive. She's felt it many times since joining Sarah's group of friends that seem to find trouble wherever they go, but she has never felt it as vehemently as she does tonight. It's a mixture of euphoria, shock, and soul-crushing guilt for having to hurt another living creature, even one that was intending to make a meal of her friend.

No matter how much she grows up or discovers more about herself as a person, feelings never stop being as frustrating as they were to her as a child. You can get better at processing and hindering explosive reactions to them, but they never simplify. She doesn't know why she feels so much at once. She doesn't know why she feels simultaneously on top of the world and thrown off the edge of a cliff, but she thinks it has to do with him.

Since they walked back to the beach and talked about what happened until the day withered into night, which led them here to the “official” ceremony of her being named a Pogue for life, JJ hasn't spoken to her once.

Suddenly, the shoe is on the other foot.

Much like how she avoided him all night last night leading into this morning, he doesn't talk to her. He tries not to look at her too from where he sits on the log of driftwood across the fire, but it's somewhat inevitable with the spectacle John B is making of her at the moment.

Painted in the warm tones of the firelight like a goddess in her own right, Y/N is impossible to look away from, and it makes him angrier than he already is. A handwoven circlet crafted from the hibiscus and hippeastrum flowers growing in the forest around their camp sits atop her head. It doesn't fall to the ground with the movement of her throwing her head back in laughter. It stays in its rightful place against the rule of gravity until her face comes back into view for him to quickly look away from.

It dampers her laughter to see him avoiding her gaze so adamantly, taking a swig of water from one of the small cups they carved from wood and turning to talk to Kie to keep himself busy. The distinct sensation of being on top of the world slips away with the feeling of his cold avoidance and John B lowering her back to the ground until her bare feet sink into the soft sand.

Before she can start sulking about it for the foreseeable future, Sarah steps up beside her.

The familiar touch of a hand on her shoulder brings her comfort amidst her confusion and hurt over the way JJ is acting, and when she turns to see a pretty face looking fondly at her, a warm smile finds her lips.

"Pogue for life?" Sarah asks.

The three words bring make her smile grow the same way it had when she was talking to JJ on the peninsula. It crinkles the skin around her eyes with its unrestrained happiness to hear them because, as much as she pretends to let JJ's comments roll off of her, tonight marks one of the first times she's felt at home with them.

That's not to say they haven't made her feel welcome in the past, they did, but this isn’t the same. This is closer, this is the type of bond that's forged in situations like these where people have no choice but to rely on each other or let their worlds collectively fall apart, and she thinks, for the first time, that she could live here with them forever if she must.

None of them know how much time has passed since they arrived here, least of all her, but it sure as hell feels like an eternity. At first, she could barely withstand the idea of living here for months with the intention of being rescued as soon as possible, but now...

She brings Sarah into an embrace tight enough to force the air from their lungs.

"Pogue for life," she echoes back with her face buried into the salt-scented tresses of dirty blonde hair cascading over her tan shoulders.

Would it be crazy of her to think that this is where they're meant to be? That they're her family and this place she has fantasized about escaping is now their home?

After all, the lush island provides everything they need to sustain themselves with the rationing, scavenging, and hunting routines they adhere themselves to. Freshwater runs down the land in a stream from a water source uphill, plenty of different edible plants grow in the forest, and there's so much left of the expansive land to explore; it's perfect. Everything here is perfect for them, calling out to them to make it their home, but there's one little problem as of right now, and he's sitting across the fire behind her back.

Sarah's arms squeeze around her shoulders once to bring her in even closer.

"Thank you for saving him," her voice is so hushed, Y/N can hardly hear it with her lips brushing the shell of her ear to whisper into it, "I'm not gonna get all mushy with you right now, but I don't know what I would've done if"—Sarah's breath hitches in her throat, and she shakes her head—"I just wanted to thank you."

When they pull apart, Y/N is looking back at her with a knowing expression, one that says everything she can't in the presence of the others, and Sarah can't help but mirror it.

It isn't long before the blonde-haired beauty is whisked away by her boyfriend to help him cook the crabs they caught closer to shore after their encounter with the shark. Not wanting to swim out or risk slipping off the rocks again with the dead fish promising to lure more predators to their area for the next week or so, they settled for hunting for shellfish and making good use of the fruits they find growing in wild abundance in the forest.

The night ticks away in swiftly passing minutes thanks to the humorous company of the people around her.

She nearly chokes on a mouthful of banana as Cleo tells a story from before she met them, when she used to live in Nassau and work jobs with Terence and Stubbs on ships. For such new additions to the group, they both fit surprisingly well with the lifelong childhood friends that sit around and banter with such ease together.

They talk, laugh, dance, and eat together, and there are moments when she feels happier than ever. There are moments exactly like when John B lifted her up and made her giggle at how their friends cheered on her behalf in indulgence of the silly "ceremony" they did, half out of boredom and half out of gratitude for what she did. But then she is reminded of the man sitting on the outskirts of the group with his features hardened into an expression of contemplation she wishes she could decode.

The night breeze feels heavenly on her perpetually overexposed skin. It blows into the fire and allows it to swell from the oxygen supply, crackling and popping embers out every so often like the spark of the zippo lighter JJ fidgets with in his restless hands. The movement attracts her wandering eyes while they should be focused on Cleo and Kie dancing around the fire with boisterous laughter while Sarah and Pope sing for them.

She keeps herself honed in on the opening and closing of the lighter under the guidance of his ring-clad fingers for the next minute or so.

They may have been pitting themselves against each other since they met, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know him well. If anything, the keen attention that her old hatred for him forced her to keep on him made her memorize everything there is to know. And she surely has picked up on the nervous habit of him playing with the lighter whenever he's thinking, whenever there's something crawling under his skin that he can't piece together.

He sits with his back to her, facing out toward the ocean so all she can see is the hand he uses to flick the lighter open and shut with. With a quick glance at the rest of their friends to see if any of them are watching or wanting to speak with her, she pushes herself up from the log and dusts her sandy palms on her shirt.

The tracks of her footsteps lead around the corner of the driftwood he rests against until her feet appear, sunken into the sand in front of him. It takes a lot of control to not allow himself to follow up the length of her body, panning up along her legs until he sees that infuriatingly tenderhearted set of eyes looking down at him.

However, he doesn't have a choice in looking when her hand outstretches in a silent invitation. His first glimpse of her in the last half-hour shows her jerking her chin in the direction of the beach curving around the bend of the island.

This morning, he probably would've taken her up on the offer. He would've done anything to get a few minutes alone with her, but now he can't see past his anger and doesn't know why. He doesn't know why it hasn't calmed yet, but, in truth, it has more to do with him than it does her idiotic yet brave decision to fight off a shark today. Trust him, it still has a lot to do with the idiotic shark thing, but the rest is lost in translation for him.

"Not in the mood," he dismisses her.

Her brows furrow and form a crease between them as she tries to find something to say but comes up with nothing. At least not until it clicks with her what he thought she was trying to do by inviting him to walk with her.

The last time they went off on their own together, it ended in an explosive encounter they have yet to erase from their minds. It's what greets them whenever they close their eyes for a second too long, existing in their wildest daydreams and fantasies whenever they have a spare moment to themselves. Hell, he can't stop thinking about it even when he's already occupied. It was the reason why he didn't catch any fish this morning before the incident that made him pissed at her in the first place. He couldn't stop thinking of her.

"Oh," she murmurs and starts to kneel down until her knees are sinking into the sand the same way she did when patching up his leg. Her eyes peek over his shoulder to ensure the others didn't hear them—"That wasn't what I meant...I was just wondering if you wanted to talk about today. It must have been a lot to process, since he's your best friend and all, and—"

JJ snaps, unable to tolerate it anymore, and stands up from his spot on the sand to move away from her.

"You don't need act all therapist with me, okay? I'm fine, and I don't need you to fix me if that's what you wanted. Today was fine. Everything's fine, so let it go."

Her mouth opens and closes like a fish with a loss for words. For the second time in the span of a minute, she is grasping blindly for something to say in the wake of him shocking her to silence. He's starting to walk past her but she doesn't let him. Her hand shoots out to stop him and holds onto his arm to turn him back despite his rudeness.

Underneath it all, her concern touches him deeply. It shouldn't trigger a reaction like this in him, so why does it? What about today set him off? He hasn't been this genuinely angry with her since before the hunt for the gold began, before she started to blend into their friend group and establish herself as one of them.

"Woah, woah, woah," she says, "I never said that. I thought that you needed someone to talk to. You know, as a friend."

Their friends start to notice their interaction tensing up now. Before, they didn't pick up on her stepping away for a second to check on him. Now, it's impossible to ignore what unfolds hardly six steps from where they watch as slyly as they can. The two of them haven't had a conversation as cold as this one in months, and what he says next takes it to a place that freezes over the connection they made last night and shatters the warm place it held in her heart.

He scoffs.

"We're not friends. If you think you gotta act different 'cause you threw yourself at me last night, don't bother. You hate me and I hate you. That's how it is."

No nicknames, jokes, or anything to act as a buffer, just cruelty. Rejection.

Though they truly were trying to pretend like they weren't paying attention, every single one of their friends stops and stares. A chorus of hushed reactions sound off from across the fire, and the faint sound of Kie muttering, "Oh shit," is the first thing to reach their ears. It's needless to say that none of them could've expected something so callous to come from him, not after what they saw when they ran up to them on the peninsula this morning.

With the way he was holding her then, doting on her and cradling her face between his hands even in the midst of his anger at what she did, they sooner expected the pair to admit they're dating than have a blowout like this.

In the delayed seconds it takes for her to realize what the fuck he just said to her, he watches her face shift from a look of concern to sadness, to flush-faced embarrassment, then finally to anger. Her teeth grind together, nostrils flaring on her inhale, and in one quick moment, she comes to a conclusion within herself.

She reaches up to rip the handmade crown of vibrant flowers off her head with flames to match the camp fire flaring up in her eyes for him. Before she can do anything, he already knows he crossed a line, if not multiple lines. It's evident in everything he sees, from the hurt look on her face to the force with which she shoves the crown into the center of his chest to send him stumbling back a few steps. Just like yesterday, except it couldn't be any more different.

"Fuck. You." She spits the words as though they're venomous, and he almost shrinks away under the intensity of her stare, “Go find somewhere else to sleep tonight, 'cause it sure as hell isn't gonna be with me."

Petals flutter out upon impact against his solid chest and float peacefully to the sand around his feet as he watches her turn on her heels and storm off toward their hut. Though, after what he did and what she said to him as a goodbye, it isn't really theirs anymore, is it? At least not for tonight, tomorrow, or the next day until he finds a way to make her hear him out for an apology.

He stands there, frozen, the entire time he watches her leave. Nothing can move him from the spot, not even Sarah knocking her shoulder against his with a pointed glare on her way past to follow her into the moonlit darkness.

He doesn't even resist the disappointed looks he gets, or the shoulder check from Sarah. This time, he deserves it. He deserves every ounce of their judgment. All she was trying to do was make sure he was okay and he was too consumed in his unreleased frustration from today to see it. And, in a way, he's still frustrated over it, but it's greatly overshadowed by the guilt seeping through him.

The shadowy shapes of the two girls disappear into the small hut further down the beach, and JJ is left with nothing to do but look down at the flower crown clutched to his chest in regret.

Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, @idk-ijustworkhere, @krisphann, @astrydis, @k-k0129, @zarahsloves, and @stilesflannels.

[brokenbackmolars]

No One Knows Me (Kas! Steddie) chapter 3, part 1

"Steve? Robin?" Dustin calls out, hoping his two older friends would hear him and greet him. 

   He looks around, confused, until he sees Robin, Eddie, and Steve all getting the backroom ready.

    "..." He's silent for a second, tears already building. 

   Steve, Eddie, and Robin all turn to him. 

    "Dustin!" Eddie exclaims, rushing over to embrace his younger friend.

  "Eddie?" he asks finally, stunned. Tears streaked his face and he could barely think. 

   "Yeah. That's me," Eddie chuckles, hugging him.

   "Eddie!" Dustin cries, relieved, tired, and overwhelmed all at the same time, "But.. how? I saw you die. I.." he trails off, not wanting to remember the tragic moment. 

  "I know. Vecna.. he brought me back in the Upside Down. It's all so much, I'm not even sure how to explain.." Eddie explains. 

   After the two break apart from their tender embrace, Dustin turns to the duo in the corner. 

   "And how long have you two known?" he asks, the bittersweet happiness he felt due to Eddie's revival turned to anger. 

    "Not very long," Steve purses his lips, fearing the rage about to be unleashed upon him. He wasn't the type of person to be afraid of anger, especially not the anger of someone both younger and shorter than him. But when it came to Dustin, it was a whole other story, seeing as the boy was rarely upset and when he was, he did not hold back. 

  Robin knew better than to speak, instead she just grimaced.

  "So you're telling me, you knew Eddie was alive and not one of you thought to tell me? And, just to make it worse, it looks as if none of you were even planning to!" he says, fury lacing his words, "God, Steve, you're not the only one who's close to Eddie, so stop acting like you are. He has other friends and there are other people who would want to know about him, oh I don't know, not being dead?! Do you not understand? Or do you really just want to keep Eddie to yourself?" 

  Steve finds himself instinctively backing up, until he bumps into a wall behind him.               "Um.. Dustin, I'm sorry. I can't really give any excuses, but we just.. weren't thinking, I guess," Steve explains. 

  "You weren't thinking? Well, I think it's quite the opposite. You were thinking, just not about me, or anyone else. You were thinking of yourself," Dustin begins to back away, walking towards the exit. 

  "Wait! Dustin.." Steve calls out, following Dustin, "I'm sorry. I should have been a better friend, I know. Can you just give me another chance?" he pleads, pressing his hand to Dustin's shoulder. 

Dustin turns and looks back up at him, tears streaming down his face. He doesn't speak. He just moves so he faces Steve and hugs him. 

   Eddie, who had been observing intently, rushes over to them. He turns the embrace into a group hug. Robin soon joins in, still stunned from Dustin's rage. 

Dustin sobs. He sobs his heart out. The big ball of grief that had been building in his chest ever since Eddie's death began to come undone, one tear at a time. 

He would be lying if he said it wasn't a relief to be able to let all of his feelings out. 

"Dustin, don't just blame Steve. I hate to admit it but I didn't think about telling other people I was out of the Upside Down. Not yet at least.. I was just gonna.. run away and hide. Huh, I thought I was done with this," he sighs, evidently disappointed in himself. 

   I don't blame any of you," Dustin says at last, breaking up the hug and wiping the tears away from his face, "I'm just so mad at myself for not being able to save you, Eddie. The fact that Vecna had to be the one to do it just pisses me off and I feel like such a shitty friend. I shouldn't have taken it out on Steve. I'm sorry," he admits, turning to face Steve. 

 "Hey, it's all good. I would be lying if I said I didn't deserve it," Steve laughs a bit. 

 "He did deserve it, it was a good reality check for the dingus," Robin comments, grinning. 

 Dustin smiles, "So what are we going to do now?"

(Hey, if you made this far congrats! My friend Emilio wrote this part, I didn't write any of it. Hes going to be helping me out from here on out, and I thank him for that!)