#yeah only dylan can have this privilege

[liemurienn]

honestly the main reason why i draw arthur in a dress is because i like it when characters shine from the inside out

[equallyshaw]

summer in la | jack hughes

@katyleblumme: summer break in la went swell ✌🏻

tag: jackhughes, katybff

1.5k likes, 233 comments.

||

@katyleblumme: ALSO jacky has lice in the third pic (; @jackhughes: you are not allowed to come to jersey, i revoke your access @lhughes_06: i also revoke your access @trevorzegras: its fine, my beach house is big enough for the both of us @katyleblumme: yeah because you divorced jamie !!! i will never forgive you @trevorzegras: it wasn't my fault ! @jamiedrysdale: it sure as hell wasn't my fault @katyleblumme: you promised you wouldn't break up @katyleblumme: im a child of divorce @jackhughes: how dare u two @trevorzegras: im not commenting on this matter anymore, you can all call my lawyer @katyleblumme: ill just call daddy brisson @jackhughes: katyyyyyyyy @katyleblumme: what? @brendanbrisson: *closes insta and gauges both my eyes out* @katyleblumme: its not my fault he's hot @_quinnhughes: shut up katy @katyleblumme: you're uninvited to my bday over winter break @_quinnhughes: good! i didn't wanna go in the first place @katyleblumme: i also revoke cat uncle privileges @_quinnhughes: dont bring clementine into this

@jackhughes: loml @katybleblumme: thankyou cat dad 😌

@jackhughes: never want to leave ): @katyleblumme: i dont want u to leave either ... only one more semester 🤍

@katysbff: mom and dad 🙈 @jackhughes: adopted child 🫡

@lhughes_06: so this is what you were up to @_quinnhughes: the audacity he had to not come home

@_quinnhughes: you seem nice @katyleblumme: you seem nice too as if i haven't known you for 6 years already 🤝🏻 @trevorzegras: man, my life has been worse since knowing you @katyleblumme: you should be so lucky

@dylanduke: The term summer vacation or summer break refers to a school break in the summer between school years and the break in the school academic year. Students are off anywhere between two weeks to three and a half months. Depending on the country and district, staff might be partially or fully excluded. @katyleblumme: oh my goodness dyl, i had no idea !! @ethanedwards: good thing dylan only comments useful info

_

@jackhughes: this is a katy le blumme fan account, incase you didn't know.

tag: katyleblumme

109k likes, 21.8k comments.

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@trevorzegras: I didn't know, so thanks for the clarification @katyleblumme: 😎 😎

@lhughes_06: can we go back to regular scheduled ad posts now @katyleblumme: your days are numbered small child @lhughes_06: last time I checked im 6 feet and ur *checks notes* 4'11 so back off satan @katyleblumme: youre so lucky i live cali cuz i'd end your life so quickly @alexturcotte: she would, dont even try with satan's spawn @trevorzegras: ^^^^ RT RT @_quinnhughes: this is insta zegras, not twitter @mattybeniers: didn't you know it's X now? @_quinnhughes: shut up matty

@elblue6: katy is my favorite @katyleblumme: youre my favorite too mama h🫶🏻 @lhughes_06: mom no @_quinnhughes: not our mom @jackhughes: its okay, im still the favorite child @lhughes_06: that's up for debate @_quinnhughes: well it def ain't you lu @katyleblumme: omg ladies, take it to the group chat

@nicohischier: I have the first pic to look forward to in jersey, i presume? @katyleblumme: hi nics! and yes, u do and im not apologizing @nicohischier: lovely

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

changed the format just a bit...i hope it looks fine?

but please like and reblog if you liked this! it would mean the world🫶🏻

[intoloopin-archive]

JJ knows his strengths and how to highlight them so even if he isn't that musically gifted he can still keep up! His upbringing didn't allow him to be anything but a little diva and I love that for him but I wonder how his personality fits into the group.

But your little character breakdown/plot posts are always good!

GIO.

I've been treating this ask like a very fancy bottle of wine, really waiting for the perfect moment to answer it in the most interesting way possible, and now that LOOPiN is FINALLY (!!!) free from New Wave Music and they officially have a new home, I believe a post dissecting how they used to work under Seo CEO's awful control is a must. And here I have the perfect little moment to ramble about it! Which I love!

So, the short answer to your questions is: J.J fits in very badly on a personal level, and most of the other guys consider him unmanageable to say the least, but! LOOPiN as a whole has been so desensitized to Jiahang's (annoying!) personality because, as long as they were under New Wave, they all knew that he was an untouchable constant; both because of his father's grip on the company stock, and because in mid 2021 J.J made the very strategic decision to take active part on backing LOOPiN financially, and he did so by paying for their dorm room accomodations and making that his sole responsability - which is why in some pieces set on their 'flop era' you can notice that their home is just waaaaay too fucking nice.

But yeah, with anyone who's not Minwoo (from late 2020 up until literally a week before he publicly retired from making music), Haegon (often enough) or Hanjae, Jiahang has had very big professional and personal feuds that still linger. It gets ugly sometimes guys, it really does.

Now! To the longer answer!

NEW WAVE MUSIC's LOOPiN & ITS HIDDEN HIERARCHY:

[❗] TWs: corporate abuse, medical neglect.

If in universe iNSYNCs or just people aware of them were to be consulted, they would say that the chain of command and order of company favoritism while LOOPiN were under New Wave Music (2017 - 2023) ended up as:

01. Minwoo; 02. Seungsoo; 03. Haruki; 04. O.z; 05. J.J; 06. Hanjae; 07. Gyujin; 08. Dylan; 09. Taesong; 10. Haegon.

*Former member Lee Beomseok is not included, but just so you know, he wouldn't crack the Top5.

Which, by looking at the graphic you can see it's pretty off! Let's dissect it!

(NOTE: The two white boxes around the Top4 symbolize leadership roles, and they obviously entail the Produce Line, but less obviously, in a ground right above it, stands Minwoo and J.J in a duo that we can informally call as 'LOOPiN's Crisis Management'.)

At the very top of the food chain, we have J.J: As mentioned above, and also said in posts in the past here and there, Jiahang's spot in LOOPiN was 100% bought by his father, but his privilege goes way beyond just sharing surnames with a major sponsor: J.J has an entire personal team of lawyers, a private stylist and his own manager/financial consultant, Han Qiong (39), which puts him miles ahead of everyone else who depended on New Wave's shady and unprepared staff team. Jiahang's influence is also very present in everything on LOOPiN's two last years under New Wave (which came as consequence of him being Minwoo's "apprentice"), but it's all very subtle, as he always hid behind Minwoo to not spoil his incompetent brat persona to CEO Seo Chanhyuk - many marketing stunts, a good parts of their visual identity and even some promoted songs were handpicked by him but signed off as Minwoo's decisions, and even the members don't know that. As of now, speaking of 2023-0T9-Rare-Rhythm-LOOPiN, only Taesong and Haruki are aware of their past almost co-leadership deal and know how frail J.J actually is with this start over on the career department. He has pretty much no idea how and what he should do next now that he doesn't have a clear advantage! A giant really fell!

Minwoo: Even before he took over the official leader position from Taesong in 2021, everyone working with LOOPiN behind the scenes knew Minwoo was the guy in charge: not only was he the frontman of the Produce Line, but not a single decision even outside the group's sound was made without consulting him, mostly because people felt like they should - his... passionate involvement, let's say, about every aspect of the group was very clear. He also kept riding the wave of his Boy Of The Week days as "the golden trainee", and the respect he build in the industry after butting heads with Chanhyuk and his brigade of shareholders to make LOOPiN creative independent, even though it did give everyone consequences - Seo CEO came to HATE his guts right after they debuted, and was a bitch about them just because Minwoo was always just as much of a bitch back. Him making Taesong the leader during their group debut despite Minwoo's obvious crave for that title was just as much of a move made to try to control them as it was petty, childish shit.

O.z: Wu Zhiming is not someone you can restrain, and New Wave Music came to learn that a beat too late; they also didn't know how to fully support him as a music producer, which O.z took no time to notice and start quietly networking his way into opportunities. Now, his music career outside of LOOPiN is the most stable - he's been the major producer and collaborator with Nico, an independent (and faceless!) singer that in universe has internet fame reaching the likes of Pinkpantheress, and he's definely the first member to reach stable international fame, even if it's a tad controversial. And that's something he did despite New Wave Music, and Zhiming has talked about it publicly with no fear, so everyone knows he's truly independent! You go, O.z!

Seungsoo: Seungsoo always has a hard time seeing the bigger picture, and with his career it was no different: he always assumed the Produce Line was an equal triad and even that he was Minwoo's second hand man (which, LMAO. NO!), and he constantly failed to see everyone always respected him the less. But he was and is a group producer, he did have a voice and some control of LOOPiN as a brand, and that automatically puts him above a lot of the members. Seungsoo is also very popular with the public, known as a sweet talker and charming guy, and his music is very sought after for girl groups and female soloists. He was not doing the worst.

Gyujin: Gyujin, the newest loop dude of them all, stands right in the middle. He joined LOOPiN at a crazy time, but he is flexible by nature and he worked himself into the public's good graces very quickly, all on his own; it barely took him 7 months to be iNSYNC's new darling dearest, which did give some brownie points with Seo CEO at the time. Gyujin is also very familiar with the entertainment industry, which barely changed in the years he spend retired from child acting, so he knew from the get go what to watch out for. His contract signing took 3 weeks because he kept going for legal tweaks, something that immediately set off warning sirens inside Seo CEO's head, but at that point, Gyujin was all he had to try to set off the fire of Beomseok's departure - and many other accusations! If he had more time inside the company, Gyujin could definely pull a J.J and find something to use to his advantage against Chanhyuk, because if there's one thing he'll always do, is find an angle.

Hanjae: As soon as Sangwon got out of the picture as LOOPiN's manager in early 2022, Hanjae found himself in a very interesting position, that being his elevation from someone that was literally hidden for two years inside their own group to a hotshot debutee actor - fully backed by Chanhyuk, who was so fucking tired of LOOPiN having collective fame at this point. As we know, Hanjae's crush on Haruki was old and a well known fact inside New Wave, and it ended up causing his professional downfall; Sangwon mismanaged him on porpouse in LOOPiN's early years to not only punish him for his feelings, but also just to torment Haruki. Recently, Seo CEO has committed the big mistake of trying to convince Hanjae to sell his exclusive contract to an acting agency on New Wave's last days, and despite Hanjae double crossing him and immediately telling everyone about the company's hidden fate back in January so they could prepare for it, Chanhyuk still planted a lot of doubt on Hanjae's mind about his Idol future, and that will be at play very soon, thanks to 'Kick It' winning the comeback poll! So stay tunned!;

Taesong: As said on the Minwoo section, Taesong's role as LOOPiN's leader was given to him because Seo CEO needed someone in charge to be under his thumb, and Taesong filled that role okay enough for as long as he could - Minwoo's very harsh criticism of his every move plus everyone's lack of respect of the sentimental way he used to run things eventually got to him mentally. He had many hiatuses in his career, and with each new one came more of a lack of interest from New Wave Music in him as a way of income. If it wasn't for his own volution and need to get better, Taesong wouldn't be the vocal powerhouse he is now - he payed for his own vocal coaches, all non affiliate with the company! By the time he returned from his most serious and longest hiatus in early 2021, making the (not so willing) decision to give out the leader position to Minwoo, all without notifying Seo CEO first, made him public enemy number #2, and it definitely showed on his sudden erasure of schedules.

Haegon: From pretty much day one, Haegon was not taken seriously by anyone inside New Wave Music as an Idol or person, specially in Seo Chanhyuk's eyes: his very unsettling attachment to former member Beomseok paired with his short temper painted him as a kid unwilling to grow up, and when Beomseok left and Haegon put up a whole dissapearing stunt for a week (he had to be fake announced to be put on hiatus!), any slight interest or patience Seo Chanhyuk had for him died. Dare I say, Seo CEO saw Haegon as his biggest signing mistakes, when you take into consideration that "he wasn't even good enough to make the main vocalist stay" - his own words! So Haegon was not encouraged to train beyond his habilities or given any sort of solo schedules. Haegon himself felt the company's disbelief in him in his bones, too, and found it hard to try.

Haruki: Despite being made the public face of LOOPiN from 2021 and onwards, and eventually starting as a model with a lot of company apparent support (big highlight on apparent), Haruki was not the target of favoritism in the slightest; it was the very opposite. None of the investment made by New Wave towards Haruki was genuine, made to be long term or took what he wanted to do as an artist into consideration. It was just Seo CEO buying his silence about his horrible involvement with Sangwon without explicitly saying to Haruki that he was buying his silence. Haruki also never had freedom of movement from the moment he became a Week Boy, and even small decisions he had the impression of being made without Sangwon's involvement over the years always ended up with his involvement despite his demands for the contrary, because Seo CEO did not care or respect him, ever. (Which is in my humble opinion one of his worst crimes: knowing and doing nothing for a share price. Fuck that man, honestly, fuck him.)

And in the lowest of lows, Dylan: In the old blog I had a piece that was fully narrated by Chihoon, and in it we caught a glimpse of the situation with his private contract under New Wave Music and by extension, Blockberry Creative; how his trainee dept was thrice everyone's size because he lost a private defamation lawsuit against both companies back when he was on Boy Of The Week, plus one claiming neglect from Seo CEO directly. Dylan's contract as a whole was barely legal and made by a lawyer that was at the time Seo CEO's wife-to-be (🥴), and the disparity definely showed as LOOPiN went on. Mind you: his first ever solo project (given how he did not promote his debut track 'Monster' or 'Teenager' with LOOPiN Look(a)Like due to an hospitalization), was his rebellion album released in 2022, and that obviously had no company support. Dylan also was on the down low obligated to see a 'company psychiatrist', something that is exclusive to him and was as shady as it fucking sounds - a lot of his growing paranoia as his career goes on it's not only caused by the things he becomes a witness to, but also the bad intentioned changes made in his medication.

[mangocheesecakeicecream]

So a man walks into a cafe and orders a coffee with no cream and the barista says sorry sir we don't have any cream will you accept coffee with no milk.. Freud writes three books about formations of the unconscious right dreams slips the tongue and jokes lacan makes jokes his seminar on jokes takes a privileged place because they operate in language yeah as we were talking about linguistic formation structure our reality so like that the Real can be seen functioning in this like sort of silly joke about coffee really is just like the happy coincidence for us [Beyond the signified] like it seems to hit the point home that you know language is insufficient you know to possibly communicate this zone but is at the same time the only means by which we can do it well and it exists only because of language because language creates this creates the Real as impossible right and so lacan I think gets into this in the seminar seven he tries to talk about Das Ding the thing as what's the beyond of the signified right he has this beautiful reading of Antigone outside the law but like it's a huge problem that he's in this essay like the non relation formalizes the same wall that he reaches there like you don't want das ding  you get once you start aiming for the beyond of the signified you're under the sway of death drive in terms of like Kant saying you can't arrive at the thing in itself is there any kind of parallel there well it becomes I mean first off you're not you start you're not aiming at it anything and it becomes like repetitive and lacan attaches it to like for Kant I think whether it is right to associate das ding with the thing itself for lacan it's just like reason drives itself into nonsense right for Lacan when you're thinking trying to think about das ding it's attached to enjoyment and we start enacting like I'm trying to get beyond the signified means I'm trying to get beyond this social means I'm trying to get beyond whatever other people can offer me yeah or what I could get from them and this becomes highly destructive and like the usual example Lacan’s example is marquis de Sade  the highest good [the context of jouissance. As well as the object of language, das Ding is the object of desire. It is the lost object which must be continually refound, it is the prehistoric, unforgettable Other- in other words, the forbidden object of incestuous desire, the mother. The pleasure principle is the law which maintains the subject ast a certain distance from the Thing, making the subject circle round it without ever attaining it. The Thing is thus presented to the subject as his Sovereign Good, but if the subject transgresses the pleasure principle and attains this Good, it is experienced as suffering/evil. Lacan plays on the French term mal, which can mean both suffering and evil, because the subject ‘cannot stand the extreme good that das Ding may bring to him’ . It is fortunate then that the THING is usually inaccessible. -Dylan Evans ] is the highest evil but I think you see this in contemporary in like very naive likes to contemporary thought like no I have dying to have something to say that's beyond language or like I need to like get away from people and get in touch with myself or all these ideas but like I need to get beyond the social y'all on the social be outside the social yeah and Lacan’s point is like no it's self-destructive good luck have fun bring a life jacket you either get to this kind of like INCEL discourse sure we're like okay I've been excluded from the social all I can do is blow the fuck up yeah or a kind of self-destructive like everyone who like thinks that there is some enlightenment outside of language outside of social relations is like the same and an idiot and has nothing new to say yeah yeah and so that's the point like no we need to speak this impossibility yeah that's a tie in every social relation the impossibility of sexual of the sexual non relation is the kind of don't say archetype like the structure yeah of every social relation IS non relation

Jacques Lacan's "L' étourdit" (Part 2/3) by Theory & Philosophy

[writersfearofrecognition]

Ignorance is bliss

Summary: Jacob and his childhood best friend slowly realise their feelings while trying to survive the quarry.

Pairing: Jacob Custos x nameless/female!OC

Warnings: jealousy, cringe dialogue, miscommunication trope, pure ignorance

TW: none i think (i hope, please tell me if there are i will gladly tag them)

Chapter 6:

19:44

„Jacob said something weird before the van broke down. like directly asked how you could break a van down.“

„suspicious.“ „yeah. i told him one day wouldn’t make a difference between you two but he didn’t really believe me.“ „well my strategy is to stick to as much people as possible, so we can’t talk about feelings.“ i get a shiver when i say that word and she laughs at my expression.

„you’re helpless aren’t you?“ „shut up.“

„Mh…“ she thought about it, „no. miss feelings and mister himbo are best entertainment i have at the moment.“ „not mister broody?“ „broody is going after the dj man. i’m content as a lonely warrior.“ „sure.“ „excuse you? i am.“ „mhm.“

she shoves me off the bench and stands up herself to watch the view.

i sit back down and make my game plan.

well. i had no idea.

Jacob obviously wanted to talk to me before we went home.

i obviously never wanted to talk to him ever again.

well.

exaggeration.

not until we were home.

but i also did not want to be alone at night in these woods without a real adult.

because we all most definitely were not real adults.

„ugh.“

staying with them it was.

let’s see what the evening brings.

„Guess what?“ Dylan emerges from the bushes with Ryan in tow.

my mind gets thankfully distracted by sex dungeons and tree houses.

20:15

the sun had set, Jacob had lost the privileges for his favourite snack and now, we were all gathered around the fire.

i was sitting next to Kaitlyn, so Jacob was out of my sight.

maybe mean but no feelings. thanks.

„Hey Dylan can you play one direction?“ Emma suddenly asks and all eyes fall to her, „What? i was 13 once too?“ „you were a directioner?“ Abi asks and Emma sighs, „Dylan can you, or not?“

Dylan fumbles his phone, „yeah, i guess, why?“ „because i always sang one song with all the girls in theatre and yeah…nostalgic you know.“ „you nostalgic?“ Abi asks again and Emma rolls her eyes with a smile.

„what song?“ Jacob asks suddenly.

„18.“

oh.

Emma smiles and Dylan shrugs before playing it.

„louder. and don’t you dare talk during it.“ she orders us and we all listen to the song, some more hesitant than others.

Kaitlyn was shoving me the second the song came on.

the implications were so obvious even i got them.

„yes i know Kaiti, can you stop?“ „shhh.“

„sorry.“ Kaitlyn and i say at the same time.

the silence is deadly, this song is too ugh.

thank god i have my saviour from weird social interactions: nipping at a bottle.

the beer tastes like ass but what to expect in this…yeehaw county.

Emma surely wanted to start something again.

i try to block out the song and look at my…friends.

Ryan was looking into the fire, or Dylan’s hand i couldn’t tell.

Abigail and Nick were sneaking glances at each other and Emma’s eyes were darting all over the place.

but she gives me another smile when she catches me looking at her.

the song ends and Dylan clears his throat. „permission to speak?“ he asks and Emma nods with a wide grin.

„let’s…play a game.“

Dylan brought up the idea to play truth or dare and i already knew what shit Kaitlyn was going to get up to.

especially when she asks if she can make people kiss.

i give her a shove when she said that but she only grins her cheshire grin.

he starts with Abigail who gets the first awkward question but he saves her from the possible embarrassment.

because she couldn’t decide, Emma takes her turn and makes Ryan kiss Dylan, i couldn’t keep my smile contained. at least one of our gang got some love tonight.

Ryan asks Kaitlyn and she chooses Truth. „like a pussy.“ i mutter and she shoves me this time but i dodge and take a drink from my beer with a smirk.

„So you, (Y/N) and Jacob go way back, right? like, since you were kids?“

„Sadly, yes.“ Kaitlyn says and i laugh because i know she didn’t mean that. maybe if she drank enough tonight the others would meet the real Kaiti as well.

Jacob sighs while looking down.

„Lame question, bro. waste of a turn,“ i hear him, but Ryan just talks over him. Dylan leans forward and i caught a short look at him. did he have tears in his eyes?

oh shit-

i jump forward before he raises his head completely and catches me looking. that would not help the feelings conversation.

„you guys ever, ah, get down to business together?“ i smile at the memory and forget my fear of today again.

„nothing between (Y/N) and i, but when we were in middle school i made Jacob let me practice french kissing on him…but…it never went any further, cause he’s a terrible kisser…! and i was like kissing my brother. ew.“

i bust out laughing at memory of the shriek she let out after they tried that.

„still love ya, bud!“

Jacob frowns and leans back.

something was wrong.

he was so happy like 2 hours before.

„what’s wrong with Jacob?“ i whisper to Kaitlyn and she looks over for a second.

„mad cause he wasn’t picked. i’ll change that don’t you worry hunbun.“

there was her scary grin again…shivers crawl up my back and i take another confidence swing of beer, the nickname hunbun was the worst sign there was.

„Kaitlyn who do you choose?“ „Jacob.“ he lightens up and sits up straight.

„Tru-.“ „Dude, dare. dare. dare.“

i couldn’t help but smile at his hyper demeanour.

fuck. focus.

Emma giggles and my eyes wander to her, she gave me an air kiss and i catch it which makes her grin even more.

„Jacob, so you have to kiss Emma…or…“ Emma’s eyes widen and she looks away, i take another sip since apparently i would actually see them kiss now.

great.

„(Y/N).“ my eyes widen and i set off the bottle as Kaitlyn leans back to make me visible to everyone.

i swallow slowly and look in Jacob’s eyes for the first time this night.

He’s drunk.

on beer and testosterone.

my head is spinning. did i even eat anything today?

everything to distract me from this.

he grins and Kaitlyn leans back even further, visibly content with herself, giving me a last look before turning to Emma.

Jacob and i actually never kissed before. not even as practice, i heavily denied that offer back when Kaitlyn made him do it and even in truth or dare one of us always veto’d.

Jacob stands up and i’m back in reality.

„did he already decide?“

„no. i. haven’t. my dear (Y/N).“ Jacob says as he swings back and forth with every word.

„huh?“

our friends giggle and Emma leans back as well.

well she knows what’s happening again huh?

Jacob climbs over Dylan’s long legs and gives Kaitlyn a fist bump which i greatly disapprove.

„Kaiti?“ „sorry Hunbun.“ „HUNBUN!“ Emma giggles again, now her phone ready.

„Yeah Hunbun.“ Jacob mutters and i stand up, shoving my beer into Kaiti’s chest.

the minimum for what she just did.

the hunbun-nickname-feeling is spreading in my stomach like the disease it is.

i look up at Jacob only now noticing the height difference between us. „Jake…“ „shhh we have an audience.“ he teases and i close my mouth again.

my mind completely blank.

his right hand snakes around my waist and drags me closer to him, i yelp once i’m pressed flush against his body.

those damn pecks.

he laughs.

„did you mean to say that?“

his left hand weaves through my hair and lifts my head.

he looks totally cool from outside but his eyes are twirling with panic.

mine probably too.

„maybe.“ i mutter, it was too late now anyways.

„huh.“ he says and i close my eyes when he lowers his head.

our lips meet and something releases inside of me.

finally.

his fingers grip into my hip and push me even closer, goose bumps explode at the spot where his hand is and i smile into the kiss.

Jacob’s tongue breaks out and i let it in.

in my head fly by all the times where i had butterflies for him. could butterflies be described as a form of disease?

when he teased me about him finally being taller. the first time he had that stupid black baseball cap on. when he threw me over his shoulder for the first time. when he found out how good he looked with longer pushed back hair, when he saw me in my cheer uniform. during his first game. homecoming. the whole first summer after he was team captain. every fucking time he picked me up with his van. at every party. and every damn day in this stupid camp.

„fuck. Kaitlyn you were right.“

i break the kiss but don’t let go.

wait when did my arms snake around his neck?

Kaitlyn looks at me confused.

„With that?“ „him being a bad kisser?“ Emma asks, phone still in hand.

„no. No. not that. what you told me.“ Kaitlyn grins and shrugs.

„Dude?“ Jacob asks and his hands leave my body, just like my arms slide off his chest.

„She just noticed that she likes you, Bud.“

„Kaitlyn, wtf.“

„It’s the truth.“ „how about not in front of god and the world?“ i whisper-yell and Emma hold her camera full onto me.

i stare into the lens and huff.

„Emma can you fucking not?“ „what?“

„ugh.“ i storm off.

Jacob stands still like statue. „why does she always run off?“ „Well go get her, idiot.“ Emma says and finally puts her phone away.

„Kaitlyn you get my turn.“ Jacob points at his wingwoman and runs after me.

Kaitlyn hums and smiles watching him leave.

„So Emma. you to kiss…“

20:42

i come to a stop at the boathouse, but before i can walk to the dock, Jacob yells my name and comes to a halt next to me.

„hey…“

„hi.“ i say and look at his boots.

„hunbun.“

„don’t say that.“ i huff, but the smile still breaks out and he smiles as well.

„it’s a stupid name.“ „no. i like it.“ „great.“ i turn away but he pulls me back.

„we kissed.“

„yep.“

„and Kaitlyn said you like me.“ „…yep. but i…mean…friends kiss each other right?“ this was the part where he would reject me, it would be better if i just acted like…i didn’t care.

somewhat…

he stays silent and i finally get the courage to look up.

„…why are you crying?“

„do you not like me?“

„what? Jakey. i-. fuck.“

i wipe away the tears on his cheeks and sigh when i hear his quiet sniffs.

„i just don’t like to talk about my feelings,“ i mutter embarrassed. „yeah, yeah i know….but…you do. with everyone else. Kaitlyn knows you love her, all our other friends knew you liked them too, but you never…“ he breaks off and looks down at me with wobbly lips.

fuuuck i’m such an idiot…

he had cried often in front of us, just like Kaiti and i did, but this time…it hurt. really fucking hurt. 

„okay. i know…it’s just…my feelings for you are the most important ones. and i guard those…when Kaitlyn rejects my friendship that doesn’t hurt as bad. but with you…“

„huh?“

he doesn’t understand.

„do you like me?“ i ask instead and stare into his eyes.

„yes.“

„Platonically?“ „what?“

„as friends or…more?“

„i asked first…kind of.“ he shrugs and i can’t help but smile.

„i don’t not like you, Jacob.“

he huffs and turns his head away.

„That’s a fucked answer.“

i sigh, „jakey…i-.“

„no, it is. dude, we never talk about this shit-.“

„this shit?“

„us. we. i dunno the pronouns.“

the corners of my mouth jump up and he notices and smiles a little before coming back to reality.

„like, dude. we’re faking it for like 15 years.“ „huh?“

what?

„uh- maybe only i was faking it.“

„Faking what?“ my voice shook with fear.

what did he mean, our friendship? did he secretly hate me all this time?

„like…the plantonic shit you said.“

oh thank god.

„platonic.“ „yeah that.“ he looks at me, waiting for my answer.

wait- so? he? what? i’m confused.

„so?“ he ask again, getting kinda impatient, something rarely seen.

„i…i’m scared you-.“

a scream was heard in the distance.

„fuck did you hear that? was that Abi?“ i immediately ask and grab his hand.

„that was not a good kind of scream.“

i give him a bitch-what look and he mumbles a sorry.

„we have to check it out.“ i drag him with me.

„uh yeah…okay…“

i run into the woods with his fingers in mine.

A/N: somehow i do love miscommunication tropes when i write them...

[lov3nerdstuff]

Hi Kay!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how deeply moving (and overall comforting) I find your writing to be! I've gone through almost the entirety of your masterlist twice in the past month alone and have found myself returning more often to the pieces of literature/poems your reference sometimes. (Especially that one poem by Benedict Smith! I've read a few more by him because of you and they're just wonderfully lovely 💛 so I'm eternally thankful to you for including it.)

I may be wrong in assuming, but I believe you may have studied/are currently studying a degree involving literature. I hope this isn't too foreward of me but I was wandering if you have any other works of literature that you'd recommend? (I'd love to read anything you recommend from poems to plays 💛) I'm slightly embaressed to say but the works I've read are quite limited to a highschool level and since I'm currently studying Pharmacy, there are very few people who can recommend me such moving works. :)

I also feel like I should apologise for writing such a large ask, so please accept this apology as well hehe 💕🥺

Sincerely,

Bek 🌻

Hey there Bek 💚💕✨

First of all... I'm incredibly sorry for how long it took me to reply to this ask, I know you sent it weeks ago and I'm honestly just ashamed of myself for only replying now! I've been taking a bit of a Tumblr break again, or rather a break from literally everything, and I guess not having written anything in a while made me feel guilty whenever I opened Tumblr, so... All I can say for myself really is that I'm sorry you had to wait so long! Again, I never ever ignore anyone, I promise! It just sometimes takes a while for me to reply 😅🙈

Now, I'm so happy to hear that you've been enjoying my writing! 🥺🥰 Hearing that it's comforting and inspiring to you is honestly such a relief and indeed does make me happy more than I can say 💚 It's so cool that you're checking up on all the references I make aaahhh 🥺🥺🥺 I love it 😁 You're always more than welcome, love! I don't think I could stop including references to literature, culture, history and the science around it even if I tried 😅☺️

And yeah, I did study classics and newer literature as a minor for my undergrad degree 😄 But tbh I still work with literally a lot even now (I'm in grad school for media and cultural studies) even though it's technically not something I've been properly taught ☺️ I'm just a nerd who likes to learn on her own, and with media and culture you can pretty much delve into almost anything you want 😂😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Now, it's not forward at all to ask me for literature recommendations! 😁😃 I truly love recommending stuff!!! I have a few up my sleeve, even though you've probably heard of a few already, for obvious reasons: A lot of what I truly enjoyed reading was something Tom Hiddleston has worked on in one way or another! It's truly a magnificent guideline for picking new literature... Just look up the literary origins of his films/shows/plays and you will be in for quality literature most of the time! I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but me reading High-Rise (JG Ballard) because I heard Tom would be partaking in the film adaptation was actually what sparked my love and passion for literature!!! Yep, it's that good. Now on to the recommendations though 😁(This... got rather long):

Plays

Anything by Harold Pinter really, but for obvious reasons you'll find a lot of additionally fun stuff for Betrayal, which is lovely and truly funny if you're in on the kind of humour btw

Medea by Euripides (a classic, but I love it nonetheless... You can find translations in almost every language) ((and pls stay away from Seneca's Medea, because ugh... Euripides is far better AND the og story, as much as anyone can say that for Greek mythology)

La Bohème by Puccini (I know, this is technically an opera, but if you read the libretto it's honestly just like a play... And if you're up for it, the og story is in prose and written by Henri Murger... It's better than the opera, but oftentimes more difficult to find) ((this one is hilarious and basically explains an entire cultural subgroup in the 19th century)

Faust by Goethe (many people hate it, but I LOVE this one!!! It's also been translated into any and every language, and it's so interesting philosophically!!! It's also referenced SO freaking often literally everywhere, and the operas and ballets based on it are always my fave) ((there's technically Faust I and Faust II, but you're good to go just reading the first one)

Anything by Shakespeare, obviously... Though I do love me my Hamlet like every other literature enthusiast (Yes, I can do that one famous soliloquy in act 3 scene 1 by heart as well...)

Poetry

Again, anything Shakespeare for the win, but I LOVE the sonnets and keep a copy of them with me most of the time (Yes, I own multiple copies of the sonnets...) ((My faves are 116 and 91, but there's always so much truth to be found in there!!!))

A lot of the stuff William Blake wrote is amazing, though you have to pick carefully with him if certain religious motives aren't your thing... I love The Tyger, which is an individual poem, and the collection of works called Tyger, Tyger which does have many good ones and a few ones that are a little more on the mediocre side

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas (I know this one by heart as well... It's beautiful, and there's a version of Hiddleston reading it on YouTube, which gives you even more goosebumps than the poem does anyway)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley (same for this one, also read by the one and only) ((I love to read this when I'm feeling down or powerless))

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot (This is another wow piece with many quotable lines and truths... I love it a lot and keep coming back to it! It's also a great example of how literary modernism tried to condense the complexity and passing of time and history into a single frame that had to be intrinsically poetical in nature... As in, this poem could've been a short story in any other period, but modernists loved to make everything a poem so here you go)

Der Zauberlehrling by Goethe (This one sucks in all English translations I’ve found, poetically speaking, but in German it’s such a fun piece! If you’ve ever seen the Disney ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ with Mickey Mouse or listened to the orchestral piece by Paul Dukas, then this poem proves very useful in truly understanding either! But again, the English translation should only be taken for informational value... The German one is also worded hilariously)

Prose

Short edited by Alan Ziegler (This is a collection of short prose forms that honestly is a must for me... I love this book to pieces and have had it for years now! It’s an international anthology, so you’ll find more and less famous authors from all around the world represented with short stories, prose poems, short essays and just curious and interesting snippets of writing! I draw a lot of inspiration from this book)

High-Rise by JG Ballard (As mentioned above, I owe this book part of my personality... I don’t think I would be the same person without having read it. It’s not necessarily full of wisdom, but if you’re interested in a different kind of portrayal of the human condition, then this is the read you need to take a look at)

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (This is another piece that changed my perception of literature, even though this is a more ordinary and ‘fun’-value read... It’s one of my favourite books and it’s endlessly entertaining! So if the classics are a bit heavy for you, this one is perfect for casual readers as well! Its value really does lie more in the realisation of how fun literature can be, and the freedom you have as an author... So really, I could recommend everything by Moers, his style is amazing both in the German original and in the English translation. Yes, I’ve read both.)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (This is comedic gold, stylistic gold and generally a bloody perfect book. Also a ‘fun’-value read, but it also does a magnificent job at showing you what you can do with literature, and how well-developed characters are supposed to be written)

The Penguin Book of the Undead (Penguin Classics) edited by Scott G. Bruce (This book is basically an education on fifteen hundred years of supernatural encounters and how culture wrote, used and perceived them. You get introductory texts for different periods and social groups, explaining how and why ghost stories were written and used, followed by passages of the prime source texts (eg. ancient necromancy shown on The Odyssey). Really, this book is just for cultural history nerds)

The Earthquake in Chile by Kleist (This isn’t necessarily one of my faves, but it has helped me understand what studying literature and culture can do for you. In case anyone remembers my insistence in Wicked Game that you gotta know what a pomegranate symbolises... this novella is such an instance where this knowledge would prove useful. Generally, it gives many opportunities to think about privilege and circumstance)

The Symposium by Plato (You’ll probably not want to read the entire collection of speeches tbh... But the concepts introduced mainly here and in some of Plato’s other work are well worth looking into! For example, the ‘double being’ introduces a concept that in modern fiction is called soulmates... Just sayin’)

[definitearticle]

Dear Baby Boomers...

"When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

Older friends, come in! Sit down! I'm so glad you came.

Can I get you a water?

So listen. As your friendly neighborhood geriatric millennial, I need you to understand something. It's important, and it's going to hurt. But pain can be a sign of growth, and I want you to hear this from a friend. So know that this comes from a place of love.

So nu. I'm gonna ease into this by making sure we're on the same page with some ideas.

You know Bob Dylan's song, "The Times They Are A-Changin'," yeah? It might not have been THE anthem of your youth, but it's certainly one that's held up over time. It speaks to the ever-continuing cycle of change and the need for members of the previous generation (and those in power generally) to "get out of the [way] if you can't lend a hand."

Thing is, younger generations have been asking older generations to listen, to understand, and to help the culture progress since time immemorial. And older generations have traditionally pushed back. So your generation's experience of pushing your parents' generation into begrudging acceptance of civil rights, feminism, et al, isn't new.

But y'all came up with some great turns of phrase to express it. One of my favorites, technically coined by Jack Weinberg (5 years too old to be a Baby Boomer) was "Don't trust anyone over 30." It was an offhand phrase said in anger when Weinberg felt that the reporter interviewing him wasn't actually listening, but was instead looking for ulterior motives so that he could dismiss the message of his protest.

But the phrase stuck, and it was used not only as a rallying cry, but also as a talking point by older folks who wanted to dismiss the New Left as a bunch of whiny brats, rather than people we now know were on the right side of history regarding the war, police brutality, and so on.

So with that in mind, in the words of The Who, let's talk about MY generation, and the even younger generation just starting to come into their own.

You know how a few years ago, there were a whole lot of women in the #MeToo movement who were talking about their experiences with men and how they constantly feared sexual assault? And then you had a whole bunch of idiots coming on saying "Not all men!" because they weren't used to their demographic being the target of negative criticism? Yeah, they were idiots, and you knew it. Of course "not all men." But the MeToo movement wasn't about hating men. It was about hearing women and understanding their fears.

And by and large, you understood that. You were pretty solid on it. Good for you! No, seriously, I'm really proud of you for continuing the fight for feminism that you were on the front lines of back in your more enthusiastic years.

And you know how #BlackLivesMatter has been a thing for several years now, and how it's really a continuation of the Civil Rights movement that you grew up in? But of course, idiots tried to reframe the narrative by saying "All lives matter!" And you knew that that was just a smokescreen. Of course all lives matter, but once again black lives were being treated as if they don't matter. And the reason you recognized this was because was all familiar to you. It was the same scene you remember playing out on your 12" black-and-white screens decades ago, where protests erupted against an injustice (frequently assault or murder of an unarmed black man) and the resulting police violence shook the conscience of the country.

So you stood with BLM, or at the very least listened and acknowledged when it was explained to you. We appreciate it, truly. We do.

But here's the thing. You're not the only ones we were talking to. And a whole lot of the "all lives matter!" and "not all men!" crowd? They were from your generation. Now, not all of them, certainly. We definitely have our regressive stooges in Gen X and Millenial age groups. But let's be honest, a strong majority of the people raising a ruckus against "these kids today, with their PC woke brigade cancel culture" are members of the Baby Boom generation. And those who aren't? Well...they have the same kind of regressive attitude that comes from being the third generation out.

You know...like your parents and grandparents were when Dylan wrote his song. When your social circle embraced "Don't trust anyone over 30."

There's a frustration that comes from trying to explain something important to people who appear to not wish to listen to you, but are instead spending their time looking for reasons to discredit you, or make you feel inferior, or find any excuse to belittle you and the incredibly important message you're trying to express. When you get to that breaking point, you need a way to ripcord out of the conversation in a way that expresses not only that you're through pretending to maintain civil discourse, but also that you recognize that there was no intent for honest dialogue in the first place. You need a shorthand phrase for "You're a dishonest, condescending jerk who couldn't care less about doing the right thing or about the lives of anyone other than yourself. I am through wasting my time casting pearls before swine. Good day, sir! I SAID GOOD DAY!"

Weinberg felt it in his interview.

You've undoubtedly felt it yourself, countless times.

My generation feels it constantly. And we've come up with a pretty good phrase that encapsulates our frustration with those in power who've apparently forgotten the lessons of the past and are happy to sit in apathy in the middle of the road and never lend a hand.

And that phrase is "Okay, Boomer."

Oof. Yeah.

I know.

It stings. A lot.

And I can hear you screaming at me right now. "How dare you judge us based on our age! This is ageism, pure and simple! It's hate! Not all old people! All ages matter!"

Shhh, shhh, it's okay. You're in a safe space. We're friends. No one is judging you.

See, just like MeToo wasn't denigrating all men, and BLM wasn't saying that non-black lives didn't matter, the use of "Boomer" here is not about age. It's about the same progressive vs regressive divide you experienced when you were young, that was largely drawn along generational lines.

Not all Baby Boomers are "Okay, Boomers," and not all "Okay, Boomers" are Baby Boomers.

If you're with us on the issues, if you're supportive of people's self-identity and fight for equality, then it doesn't matter what age you are. You're gold.

But if you get told "Okay, Boomer," it's not about your age either. You've just been told that your approach to the conversation indicates to the speaker that you don't want to engage on the issues in an open and honest manner.

It means that you've probably hit a blind spot in your experience which is incredibly common and nothing to be ashamed of, but is also something that needs to be addressed.

It means you've upset the person talking to you, and they've given up trying to be reasonable with you.

It's not hate speech. It's not ageism.

It's a wake-up call. For the times, they are a-changin'.

Weinberg aged out of the demographic he framed in his statement 5 years after he made it. But from what I can find online, he continues to this day to fight the good fight. He was an anti-war activist and a union organizer before becoming a champion of environmental issues. He turned 81 earlier this year. A statistical tally in the Silent Generation, he was nonetheless clearly a member of a young Baby Boomer movement in their prime.

You can stick with us. Join your voice to ours like Weinberg joined his voice to your generation's. Like Martin Luther King (born 1929) did. Like Abbie Hoffman (1936), John Lewis (1940), Gloria Steinem (1934), Bertrand Russel (1872)...

There's plenty of room on the right side of history to be an older person that the young'uns can trust, a mentor we can talk to, someone who will actually *listen* to us and help us move the culture forward.

Or you can be someone who embodies the cause of the admonishment "Never trust anyone over 30."

But if you decide to do that, if you choose to close your ears to the pleas of the younger generation because they don't show you deference and respect? Then you're not a Baby Boomer, a phrase once used to dismiss your generation as youthful, idealistic, and unreasonable.

Then you're just an "Okay, Boomer."

[femmesandhoney]

i hope that person means “inter-community issues” as things like trans women (aka biological males) like dylan mulvaney and jeffrey marsh being sent menstrual products as pr, but i know that’s not true. people wanna know why trans men aren’t taken as seriously or seen as important as trans women and it’s because males are entitled and demand more. it’s not transphobic to say that males have privilege over females regardless of what they “identify as”. i hardly see any trans men demanding space in male sports, male bathrooms & changing rooms, male medical needs (compared to the amount of trans women going to gynecologists for their neo vaginas or having gynecologists look at their male genitalia because it “affirms them”), demanding they be let into male only spaces, demanding random people say “trans men are men” or else be doxxed and sent rape threats, etc. you’re fight isn’t against biological women, it’s against biological men.

yeah that woman was so hostile and misogynistic to other women just pointing out the obvious to her. they can't deal with the dissonance it creates in their minds that they aren't actually bio males and so to resolve this tension they reach for the most male behavior they can think of, extreme misogyny, to spew at other women (and most disgustingly, a child no less).

my tif friend literally never demands male spaces be open to her. like ever. she never complains about that shit cause its not something she feels matters in her journey to try and alleviate her gender dysphoria. its only the weirdos with fetishes who do.

[songtoyou]

Chapter Eight: Be Still

Would You Call That Love

Pairing: Chris Evans x Raina Morrison (OC)

Rating: PG to PG-13 (Might be 18+ for some chapters)

Story Summary: There was always that one person Chris Evans tended to turn to when he was not in a committed relationship, Raina Morrison. He could confide in her about things going on in his life that he did not feel comfortable talking to his family or close friends about. Chris and Raina were able to establish a way to openly communicate with one another, but also being respectful of the other’s time and needs. It was the only constant “relationship” he had, but without all the nonsense of trying to build a life together. A “friends with benefits” situation. However, what happens when Chris starts rethinking his “relationship” with Raina and if either are willing to pursue something more?

Chapter Summary: Raina and Chris are having trouble dealing with their time apart. Long-distance relationships suck.

Chapter Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,258

Author’s Note: I was having trouble with this chapter. I had to end up rewriting it because I was not feeling the first draft. 

Italics represent flashback conversations.

Sadly, I do not know Chris Evans or anyone in his family, and this is just a fictional take on his life. I do not permit this fic to be reposted on other platforms.  

Tag List: @patzammit​

Three months. That is how long Raina and Chris had been apart. She continued to star in the Broadway version of Moulin Rouge as Satine. Shows were constantly selling out. Reviews were acclaimed. Unfortunately, Raina was feeling bored. The same routine was beginning to annoy her. She didn't like that there was no room to change things up. Being in a Broadway show was vastly different from her concerts. Raina knew it would be.

Jerry had warned Raina that Broadway was a whole different ballgame than what she was used to or experienced. "You won't be able to change or add things from show to show. It is more rigorous than what you are used to, kid," Raina remembered Jerry telling her one day before she accepted the role. 

Raina wanted a challenge. She wanted to do something different. There were times where Raina felt stagnant in her career. Plus, Raina was now considered an aging pop star, so she had to begin the process of branching out into different fields of entertainment. 

"You should do the voice," Jerry would always suggest, which Raina repetitively turned down. It wasn't that Raina looked down on voice competition shows. She didn't want to open that door to be on television every week for months on end. She was a performer, not a judge.

Again, three months. Three months since Raina had physically seen her boyfriend. They talked on the phone and skyped regularly, but it was not the same as being in the same room. She missed Chris terribly. And he missed her.

Chris had been pretty busy himself, first having to take Dodger back to Boston before getting ready to go to Toronto. With Raina's busy schedule, she would not have been able to take care of the canine. For a week and a half, Chris would attend the Toronto Film Festival to promote the movie Knives Out. Raina wished she could have gone with him. Chris wished she could have gone with him. 

After the film festival, Chris didn't have much downtime. He rushed into working on A Starting Point with Mark to outline the website and coordinate interviews with politicians. 

Raina made it a point to steer clear of conversations about ASP. Truthfully, she didn't find the idea appealing or exciting. Yes, Americans needed to be informed about certain aspects of politics and important issues. But many outlets already offered what Chris and Mark were trying to do. She asked Chris one time what made ASP different from the others. She was surprised that he wasn't quite able to come up with a sufficient answer. Raina knew Chris meant well. 

"Chris," she spoke up one day before he left the City, "You know I will never bullshit you, and I won't ever blow smoke up your ass. That has never been the kind of friendship we had. Nor is it how we want our intimate relationship to go."

He looked at Raina and told her to go on. "Sometimes, I have noticed, is that you tend not to be able to look outside of your privilege, Chris. You know what I am saying?"

Chris turned to his girlfriend. He was confused about where she was getting at. "No. What are you saying?"

Raina sighed. She could tell Chris was on the verge of getting defensive. "Nothing," she said, throwing her hands up in defeat. "Look, let's no…argue about…stupid stuff, okay." Raina pleaded and walked up to Chris to put her arms around him.

He reciprocated by doing the same. Leaning in, Chris captured Raina's lips. "I don't want to argue either. Especially not before I have to leave," he whispered in her ear.

There would times when Raina would look back on that exchange between her and Chris. She felt weird about how Chris became so defensive. Yeah, she could have worded things better; however, why should she? 

Truthfully, Chris was a privileged white male. If he took the time to recognize his privileges, it would make him a better ally to those who represent underprivileged groups. Raina was worried about any possible backlash Chris could face with a project like AS, which was not what she wanted for him. She understood that this was a passion project for Chris and Mark as well. Raina only wanted Chris to make sure that everything was in order and that nothing would be thrown at him unexpectedly. She knew Chris wasn't able to take criticism very well, even when it was constructive, mainly when it came to projects he was enthusiastic about; she understood as she was the same way.

With their time apart, Chris had to miss her birthday, October 19. Chris made sure to send Raina an enormous flower arrangement he could find, along with an array of goodies from Dylan's Candy Bar store. Chris knew the gifts would something Raina would appreciate. However, he still felt guilty that he was not with her to celebrate her birthday in person.

"Hey, birthday girl," Chris greeted Raina through skype on the day of her birthday. He laughed when he saw that she was holding the cupcake pillow he got her.

"I love it!" she exclaimed happily. "And I love my three-tier candy cake. I can't believe you got me that," Raina pointed out as she adjusted the laptop camera to show Chris the candy cake. "I won't be able to eat all of that."

"Yeah, you will," he laughed.

"I miss you," Raina said to Chris. "I didn't think being away from you would be this hard."

Chris sighed, "I miss you, too, sweetheart. But we'll see each other for Christmas, right?"

"Yes, of course. I made sure to schedule that time off. I still plan to come up to Concord for Christmas. My dad has already made plans with Diane for not only Christmas but Thanksgiving as well. So he is taken care of," Raina revealed. "Speaking of Thanksgiving, what are you doing?"

Shifting in his seat, Chris shared that he would spend it in Concord with his family. He noticed the slight disappointment on Raina's face and shift in her demeanor. "You don't want to come here and spend the holiday with me?" she asked solemnly. She didn't want to press on the issue but wanted to hear Chris's reason. 

Raina understood that Chris always liked to spend the holidays with his family, but deep down, she hoped he would change it up this year. "It's just been two and a half months since we saw each other," Raina began but stopped. The last thing she wanted to do was to make Chris feel guilty. "Do you have any time off before then?"

"Like you, I'm completely booked up until Christmas. Mark and I are still working on the website for A Starting Point for the rest of October, then when November comes around, it is all press for Knives Out and premiers. Trust me; I would rather be with you than have to do press junkets or walk red carpets," Chris acknowledged.

Raina grabbed a piece of candy from her three-tier candy cake. She just sat back in her chair, not looking at the computer screen. Raina focused on the candy. She didn't want to look at Chris because if she did, tears would begin to form. For some reason, missing Chris and wanting to be with him felt like the equivalent of homesickness. It was a feeling she had never experienced when it came to another human being. Even when she was a teenager touring across the world, she never felt homesick. Her relationship with Chris brought along a whole new set of feelings for Raina, and part of it scared her. 

She suddenly asked herself, 'Am I becoming too dependent on Chris?' The last thing Raina wanted to be, was co-dependent.

Raina shook her head and sat up in her chair. She looked at Chris and smiled. "I'm sorry. I know you're busy. I don't mean to pressure you or make you feel bad."

The two continued to talk a bit longer until Chris noticed Raina yawning. "Okay, sweetheart, I will let you get to bed."

"No, I can still talk. It's early," Raina whined like a child.

"It's a quarter after eleven, and that is now your fourth yawn in the last fifteen minutes," he pointed out. "You need to get to bed."

Raina sighed, "Alright, boss. I'll get to bed. Talk to you later or when either one of us is available. Bye, honey. Love you."

"Love you, too. Bye."

Thanksgiving rolled around faster than Chris expected. Time flies when one is busy. He continued to talk to Raina via phone or skype. However, Chris was also beginning to get frustrated at their time apart. Currently, he was home, sitting in his living room with his brother and brother-in-law, watching a football game between the Buffalo Bills and Dallas Cowboys while his mom and sisters prepared dinner. Lisa would poke her head from the kitchen, asking the boys for help from time to time. His niece and nephew were running around playing with Dodger, who appeared to love the attention. 

It was almost perfect, except one person was missing. Raina. He called her earlier that day. She shared that she was celebrating Thanksgiving, Chandler Bing style, with some of the Moulin Rouge cast. 

"What the Hell is Thanksgiving, Chandler Bing style?" Chris asked, confused. 

"Damnit, watch friends, Christopher," Raina scolded teasingly. "Chandler Bing doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. Because that was the day his parents told him that they were getting divorced. So, instead of all the turkey fixings and stuffing, we have grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and a family-size bag of Funyuns as an appetizer. We have lots of booze, so don't worry. Oh, and pumpkin cheesecake. Good times, right."

Chris only laughed. "You're living the dream. I don't think what Ma is making could compare."

"Just be sure to tell her to make her spaghetti for Christmas dinner. Or at least make a small pot of it just for me, okay."

"She's planning to, so don't worry. What are you watching? I hear gunfire," Chris enquired.

"I'm watching my husband, Tommy Shelby, shoot at the Italians," Raina informed as she watched Peaky Blinders. "I love Tommy Shelby. I tell you, Chris, if Tommy Shelby showed up at my door asking me to marry him, I would most likely say yes."

"Is that so."

"In a heartbeat. Sorry, hon, but Tommy Shelby, the things I would let him do to..."

"Thank God he is a fictional character," Chris interrupted. 

"Not in my dreams he isn't," Raina taunted.

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

"Alright, I'll stop lusting after my fictional husband while I'm on the phone with you," said Raina and switched topics.

The two continued to talk until Chris was ordered into the kitchen by his mother. It was his turn to help.

Chris was chopping carrots and celery when his mother asked how Raina was doing. 

"She is doing fine. Raina wishes she could be here."

However, Lisa could tell something was bothering Chris. He could never hide his emotions from her. "What's the matter, Christopher?"

Chris continued to chop the vegetables until he stopped to look at his mother. "I didn't expect being away from Raina would be this hard, Ma."

"Of course it is. You love Raina," Lisa stated as she continued cooking. 

"I do. But in the past, I had girlfriends who I loved and had to do long-distance," Chris explained. "None of those worked out."

"Because you weren't truly in love with them," Lisa pointed out. "Don't compare what you have with Rain to your past relationships. Every relationship is different. What you and Raina have now is not something you have experienced before, which is real love. True love. Everyone always knew that you two would end up together, except you and Raina. You both are so cute but also clueless at times. You both will get through this. The work commitments will die down. You both will be reunited. Everything will be fine."

Chris took in what his mother was saying. He knew she was right. He had things to look forward to beginning the start of the new year.

"Raina is the first person I dated, well since Jessica at least, that I have really begun to think about marriage and kids. Part of me is scared because it's all so fast. We have only started dating back in mid-July. I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to scare her off. I don't want her to get bored of me," Chris confessed honestly. 

It was heartbreaking for Lisa to hear. She gestured for Chris to sit down at the kitchen table. "You need to stop, Chris. You are allowing your anxiety to get the best of you. Just take a deep breath, okay," she instructed her oldest son. "Raina will never get bored of you. She loves you very much. Don't think about the past; only focus on the future. You and Raina will be fine. More than fine. Yes, there will be hard times, along with good times. It is normal for every functional relationship. You can't have the good without the bad, the sad without the happy, the ups and the downs. The universe needs balance."

"Okay, Oprah," Chris joked. "I get what you're saying."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I do, Ma."

"Good. Now get back to chopping," Lisa ordered, and Chris went back to cutting vegetables for Thanksgiving dinner. 

[stilesxeveryone]

The Rewatch, pt4

Feel free to message or comment any of your own thoughts/opinions!

Season 2, episode 7

All adults in the vicinity crossing their arms as soon as Stiles opens his mouth to say something stupid 

“No stiles!” Rip all of his Stiles privileges 

I have to assume that kanima!Jackson assaulted Allison because Matt is into her, which is a whole new level of creepy because oh god that means Matt can control the kanima more than just “hey kill that guy”, like this suggests it sort of takes on Matt’s emotions and shit

Stiles knows Jackson’s birthday

Uhhhh missed the rest of the episode because I was drawing, whoops

Just Peter traumatising Lydia, it’s fine

Season 2, episode 8

I always love Stiles and his father interacting tbh, they very much know how to deal with each other’s bullshit a lot of the time and I appreciate it. Seeing them work on a case together is wonderful

Again, this scene between Stiles and his dad about him losing his sheriff position is actually heartbreaking, goddamn 

Ah, the first hints of Scott/Isaac 

Reminder that Jackson is canonically queer

Also yesssssssssss magic Stiles! That’s my boyyyyyy! I need to write witch Stiles again

Stiles being pack mum will continue to always be one of my favourite tropes and this is just reminding me that I want to rewrite my 10 chapter fic about human alpha Stiles

Deaton saying the teenagers are “more capable than you think” is a goddamn terrible take, they need so much help. Like yeah they can get out of this alive, but your job as emissary/mentor/adult/whatever is to help reduce their trauma

Season 2, episode 9

I feel like the only time I ever really see Lydia’s trauma mentioned in fics is like in passing about why she hates Peter, but maybe I just don’t read enough fics about Lydia

Also I don’t mean this in a weird way, but I really like the sound of Lydia’s scream. Sometimes shows just use bad screams and it’s a tragedy, but the scream they use for Lydia is brilliant 

“Doesn’t being a part of your pack mean no more secrets” I can’t tell if that’s Scott being hypocritical or manipulative but wow

Even though I don’t like Allison’s mother, it still breaks my heart to see her try to talk to Allison before she takes her own life, and Allison doesn’t know so she just brushes her off

Stiles kept in touch with the drag queens which is actually amazing information 

Again! Stiles and his father! Making me cry! I mean this time it’s a hallucination but goddamn 

Chris was killing his wife, I was thinking about how strong his forearms looked

I’m really interested to know how in the world Peter knew that Lydia was immune/a banshee, and that she’d be able to bring him back

Season 2, episode 10

Someone needs to explain this part to me. Like I literally don’t understand the order of events of Matt and the kanima bonding and Isaac’s dad dying. Like did Jackson kill him before they bonded, and if so why didn’t he bond with Isaac instead? Or did he somehow bond with Matt before killing Isaac’s dad, even though this flashback clearly shows them bonding after the fact?

Please someone give me an explanation 

“Scott I trust” that is such a sad line

Hhhhhhh wish people would stop manipulating Allison, and can we get some better communication over here please!

Okay Stiles’ dad shouting Scott’s name first when he hears a gunshot kinda hurts guys

I do appreciate that this show doesn’t half ass their villain character motivations. Sometimes I see villains and I have literally no idea why they do what they do, but not this guy

Okay clearly this show enjoys killing their villains in the same way twice, like they burned Peter twice, and now they’re drowning Matt twice

Season 2, episode 11

Stiles (Dylan O’Brien) is so pretty (and clearly this cameraman knew it)

Isaac coming into the vet clinic like a lost pup is really adorable, and him crying after taking the dog’s pain away 🥺

Peter you manipulative son of a bitch, stop looking so good

Oh boy Allison going off the rails and hunting Erica and Boyd, I wish she’d go feral in the other direction and shoot Gerard

Stiles winning the game, and having this amazing moment and having something to be proud of, and then immediately getting kidnapped is kinda fucked up and I appreciate it

Season 2, episode 12

As always, give me pack mum Stiles or give me death

And as always, Stiles never shutting his mouth during interrogations and fights is my favourite thing to see. Also would be into a Stargent or Stallison fic where one of them realises Stiles is down in the basement and they step in

Why does Stiles look so good with that blood on his face

And that no one! No one knows! That Gerard beat Stiles up! As far as we see, he doesn’t tell anyone about it!!!

I honestly appreciate that Chris goes to the side of the werewolves before Allison does, I think it’s very fun and cool

And here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Scott using Derek to kill Gerard. He’s just so uncaring about the fact that he lied to everyone about what was happening, planned to violate Derek’s autonomy and had planned to murder Gerard, like it’s so weird to see him so nonchalant about it 

Erica and Boyd just can’t catch a break

I think there are definitely parts of this season that I enjoy more than the first, and parts I enjoy less. I love the characters they introduce (Isaac, Erica and Boyd) and I love the exploration of Allison’s character, and Stiles’ relationship with his dad. I hate Gerard (which is a good thing), and god bless Chris coming round to the winning side (even though technically he went through this same thing last season, of realising his family member must be stopped before his daughter gets hurt).

I do wish the ending was different, and that Scott went about defeating Gerard in a different way. Or at least for him to show any empathy? He just feels so callous and uncaring as he uses Derek and as Gerard dies and I don’t know if it’s bad acting or bad writing or maybe even my misunderstanding of his character, but I feel like that just doesn’t fit him. 

Also maybe this is just me, but I kinda wish that Matt wasn’t major stalking Allison. It feels a little like an unnecessary cherry on top, or maybe I’m just not thinking hard enough about what it added to the season.

[princeescaluswords]

Fandom really did lose their minds over that "Thanks, son I should've had" line to the point they wrote a fic in the vain of 13 reasons why that... utterly takes it out of context and I have to laugh because fandom is fine with Stiles making remarks like that ("Mom would've believed me") but now this line is "further proof" Sheriff "abused" Stiles

I’m going to answer this instead of checking the election results for every five minutes because anything is better than that.  Right Stiles?

One of my most radical ideas is that the privileged position which the fandom and the production gave Stiles actually hurt the character in terms of writing.  As internally consistent as Stiles was and as brilliantly as Dylan O’Brien acted him, the character ended up, ironically, being the power fantasy.  He was super popular, but then again, power fantasies usually are.

This fantasy was could be summarized by his famous line:  “I'm 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone, okay? Sarcasm is my only defense.”

Except that it was almost never defense.  It was a tool to control his environment.  The fandom loves the idea that Stiles can judge and insult and manipulate others with his words, yet they never wanted to address the consequences of that behavior.  They pretend that somehow the audience and the other characters were required to love him for it.  

In my opinion, the greatest weakness in the writing of Teen Wolf was the writers’ idea that they didn’t have to show why anyone put up with Stiles.  It’s obvious that they wanted Scott and Stiles to be a ride-or-die friendship, but they never bothered to portray what Scott gets out of the deal.  Stiles insults, abandons, crosses the boundaries of, and physically assaults Scott for 90 episodes, and we’re supposed to assume that somewhere in that selfish, seething, resentful mass between “It’s good to have dreams, even pathetically unrealistic ones” and “Not all of us can be True Alphas” is why Scott wants Stiles in his life beyond Jeff Davis working out his family trauma in public.

Even the famous scene in Motel California is entirely centered on Stiles’s reaction to the event.  If you read it closely, his response doesn’t even acknowledge or grapple with what Scott is talking about.   Honestly, Scott wouldn’t even have had to say anything at all. 

But, says the fandom, Stiles was loyal! And he was, except for when he wasn’t,  from 17 missed texts to Chris Argent scolding him for having no faith to “We need a real alpha,” to “Oh you’ll heal.”  

But, says the fandom, Stiles cared! And he did, except for when he didn’t -- by episode three Stiles was trying to turn the nightmare Scott was living into something about him, worrying about not being Robin all the time. Or by episode 72 when Stiles sees that Scott is bleeding and not healing but pushes him to go looking for a monster in a tunnel because he needed to redeem himself in his own eyes and Scott’s medical condition was completely irrelevant.

And  these are good!   Stiles doesn’t need to be perfect for us to relate to him, and no one ever said he had to be.  He doesn’t need to be the genius detective-slash-mastermind.  He doesn’t need to even be strong in the face of violence and horror.  That’s not the problem.

The problem is that, as it has always been, that the behavior from the production and the fandom isn’t reciprocal.   This is why catering to the fans’ power fantasy of the sassy white sad boi derailed the show.  Because Stiles, as a protagonist of the story, is entitled to do things that the other characters aren’t.  

He’s allowed to dump his emotional trauma on Lydia and the next time they’re together, they’re buddies!   He’s allowed to physically take out frustrations on his best friend, and it’s never to be spoken of again, but he’s allowed to throw Scott’s initial difficulty controlling a werewolf bite against him four seasons and seventy episodes later   And above all, he’s allowed to lie, lie, torture, hit people, lie, betray, lie again, cross boundaries, lie, and lie one more time, and still be the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

But no one is allowed to do it to him.

Scott thinks that perhaps a violent, paranoid Stiles, whom Scott once watched attack a merged super-alpha with a baseball bat to save his dad, might have actually killed someone, and not only does the fandom seek his head on a platter, condemning him to bad friend column forever, but the production makes Scott, hours after being resuscitated, listen to his mother tell him he has to kiss Stiles’s ass in apology, and he also gets to walk around with an open chest wound until Stiles decides -- “yeah, I think I’ve punished Scott enough for my inability to tell the truth.”

Lydia gets stalked, manipulated, and yelled at repeatedly, and because he believes in her in one scene, they’re destined to be together.  Welcome to your future as a supernatural metal detector, Lydia!

Malia is forced to make her anger at Stiles lying to her about her parentage about her inability to relate to human social cues rather than Stiles being a lying douchebag and then be portrayed as being irrationally angry because Stiles dumped her for being okay with the fact that he killed someone and hid it.

Natalie gets to call out Stiles mere moments after he did the same to Scott, but the production will spend the rest of the season demonstrating how stupid she is.

And Noah gets to be an abuser because when his son -- absolutely and totally known for having a sharp tongue -- gets a taste of his own medicine.    

You see, emotional power fantasies always end bad writing, because it doesn’t matter how well written or well acted the fantasy of being able to people like dirt yet they love you all the same is done, the lack of reaction requires them to flatten other characters.   

And the power fantasy always applies to certain classes of characters.  Scott is scolded for not wanting to share his horrific attempted murder at the hands of Victoria, has Liam announce that he’s a better leader now they he got murdered by Theo, and told by his mother on her deathbed to throw himself in front of an army of assault-rifle wielding fanatics, but Stiles breaks half-a-dozen laws in one season alone and gets told by two different people that he and only he saved lives and should be a policeman.

What’s the difference?  You know what it is.

[takaraphoenix]

Since you watched it, what are your thoughts on the Superman & Lois Pilot?

Oookay! I have thoughts!

Let’s start with the thing I knew before the pilot: Tyler Hoechlin is the perfect cast for Clark Kent and Superman. He is just... *chef’s kiss* on both parts. I adore the way he plays Clark, he might very well be my favorite iteration of the character at this point.

Other things I knew before going in that had... set me against the show, but that the pilot actually smoothed out well would be two things in particular.

One of them is that when the casting knews were announced that they cast a black man to play Luthor, and voices were loud that he’d play Lex Luthor, that... really turned me off the show. For one, because... continuity. Lex Luthor isn’t exactly a minor character on Supergirl, he’s been on and around for a long time, very prominently. So for the Superman show to recast him, that’d just be wild and throw the Very White other Luthors from Supergirl kind of... off. And, much more importantly than continuity - there are very few characters that you can’t racebend, because if you do, you completely miss the point of these characters. That point being; they’re walking, takling privilege. Lex Luthor represents pure, raw privilege, he’s that straight white man with a billion dollars and no care in the world, so the thought of this show missing that point so fundamentally really had me wary.

Now, after the pilot, I’m pretty convinced that he is not actually Lex Luthor, that he is... either from a parallel Earth, or a descendant from the future, or heck just a fanboy of Lex who took the name. But going in, the way they released those casting news was not exactly... reassuring.

Same thing goes for the boys. I was beyond pissed when Crisis retconned Clark’s baby away and the show announced two teenage boys as the cast, because in universe, Clark was completely thrown by suddenly having boys, plural, and by them being teenagers. And if this had been one of those horrendous “babies don’t add to plot, let’s speed age them” tropes that come at the cost of the parent(s) not getting to raise their child(ren), that’d have really frustrated me. And while it is not actually adressed in canon as to how Clark remembers this new timeline, he does, so... I am appeased by the fact that Clark did get to raise his children.

Let’s talk about those boys!

Not impressed. Not impressed at all so far. However, it has only been one episode, so I... really do hope they actually become... uh... characters... during the season and not just three tropes in a trenchcoat (Jonathan = cheerful jock himbo, Jordan = angsty angry emo boy). They’re really the two most archetypical Teen Boy Tropes imaginable, if Jordan turns out to be a geek and nerd now too, then congrats, we got a Teen Boy Bingo. So yeah, that’s... They’re not fleshed out, they really are just adults picking teen stereotypes and combining them together. I hope they become more over the course of this season though.

But while we’re on the boys, let’s talk ages. Because goodness did this retcon screw them all over. Tyler Hoechlin is 33 years old, looking... not a day over 30. And he now has two 15 year old sons. But Lois is not his teenage sweetheart, he was 20+ when he came to the Daily Planet and even just met her, then they had to fall in love, get married, and only then have the kids. So Clark Kent ought to be around 40 years old. And I am just... not buying Tyler being that old yet, boy looks too young for that. Sure, I’ve been told that “Kryptonians age slower”, but that doesn’t change the whacky visual or make it better and let’s be very, very clear, this was not a result of “Kryptonians age slower, a canon we are aware of and are employing here”, this is a result of “we decided to retcon Clark and Lois’ first born child, which was supposed to be a baby at this point in their lives, into 15 year olds because teenagers add more to the plot uuuh so now the age gap between the kids and the parents is a bit whacky ooops”.

Which, I’d also like to point out about Samuel Lane and his daughter. Dylan Walsh is exactly 18 years older than Bitsie and... he kept himself young too... Visually, the age gap between them looks more like 10 to 15, at max. And it’s kind of weird considering how “old” Martha was - quotation marks, because her age does fit having a 40 year old son, but if you consider her age in relation to Lois’ dad, who ought to be her generation, it seems startling. Especially if you consider that Samuel Lane has already been a character on Supergirl! And while the man may have only been 4 years older than Dylan, Glenn Morshower looks aged. So, that’s... that’s a recast where they should have taken either an actor who is older or at least looks older.

While we are on this topic though - the recast of a character we already knew from Supergirl - I am... rather peeved by the lack of acknowledgment of Supergirl.

I fully understand that Melissa couldn’t drop by during Martha’s funeral scene (though in universe no one can convince me that Kara would have missed the funeral of Clark’s mother), it’s the complete lack of Kara in the “here’s what happened so far in Clark’s life” montage at the beginning. The one that literally started with Clark landing on Earth and covered all of the big parts of his life; they should have and could have taken archive footage of Clark and Kara and included just... one line... of voice-over about how Clark turned out to not be the last and that his cousin has landed on Earth years after him and by now became Supergirl. And that’s it. That’s all the acknowledgment I would have needed, but I really would have needed it, because without Supergirl this show would not exist, this version of Clark and this version of Lois would not exist.

Even in the greater scheme of them wanting to distance themselves more from the Arrowverse - which I fully understand considering the torn-up state the Arrowverse has been in ever since Arrow ended - Supergirl is the one show they should not fully distance themselves from.

That brings me to my hope of seeing other characters from Supergirl, that had been taken from the Superman canon to begin with, on this show in he future. Lex Luthor has to appear at least, because seriously he’s Superman’s villain, not Supergirl’s. I really... I really need James Olsen to at least guest-star, because James is Clark’s best friend and if he didn’t appear on the Superman show at all, that’d be... frustrating, to be quite frank.

Other than those. Lana. Not really done a lot so far, but nice to see her again. I liked how when they brought up the fact that Lana’s husband was jealous of Clark, there was zero jealousy on Lois’ side.

Which brings me to my favorite part of the show so far, about which I did make a whole separate post already, but it bears mentioning here again - Clark and Lois’ relationship. Mutual love, respect and communication. Amazing. First time I am actually liking this ship and considering the ship is literally the title of this show, that’s a blessing. The fact that even in this one hour pilot they already managed to establish their dynamic and marriage so well has me very hopeful about that part of writing on the show!

Now, lastly, the actual plot. To which I can’t say much, because... I don’t know much yet? I do love the family moving back to Smallville and Clark and Lois teaming up to uncover some mystery in Smallville. I hope it’ll be well-written and I hope we will continue seeing Clark and Lois as equals in it.

I do also hope to maybe see other characters I’m familiar with from Smallville.

But so far, I am really digging this show a lot and am looking forward to more!

[ambitionsource]

hi can we get some zaley friendship headcanons whenever you're free? ☺️

im not the best at headcanons just bc of the way my brain functions but im gonna do my best for you, sunny my friend. let’s go zay and riley let’s go!

thrift shop buddies!! one of the most common ways that they hang out is definitely going thrifting. considering they arguably have the two most eclectic wardrobes on the show, this makes sense. esp i fully believe they’re the perfect people to thrift shop with where they encourage each other to try on everything, even if it seems outlandish (and sometimes even more in those moments). that’s the only way to really get some good finds! and i feel like, beyond S1, when they wear items for performances in the show that are clearly unique / seem thrifted, it’s more than 50% likely the other helped them pick it out at some point

on this note, i think that they both have really good senses of what looks good on the other bc they spend this time together, probably better than anyone else (yes, including their significant others. not that that’s hard, since both of their significant others have notoriously bland fashion). like even when theyre not out together i can totally imagine them seeing something and being like “oh this is so riley / zay” and getting it for each other. they know each other’s sizes and have like an ongoing swap credit system gfJSKHJDLFH

riley and zay usually run performance by the other person before they perform them for the class / at an audition. like they find a specific time (usually during breakout sessions during class) to get in front of the other person and run them through their concept + do a run-through for them. they just really appreciate the other’s perspective, especially since they tend to complement each other -- zay is able to identify places where riley could heighten things or add some flair or just like... assert her talent more lmao, whereas riley helps zay pull back on some of his more overwhelming instincts when necessary or find the moments to truly lean in emotionally rather than blowing us out of the water the whole time

if we could actually Watch the show, i guarantee 9/10 times when riley or zay is performing, we would cut to the other enjoying the performance. like theyre always bobbing their head along and truly feelin the other’s performances. excellent vibes luv!

i also think they harmonize well with each other, which is why its kind of a shame they dont do more performances together within the context of assignments (as for why, couldn’t tell you... it might just be a weird psychological thing of like i have These people i perform with when it matters and these who are just for fun... like maybe zay and riley tend to see each other as easygoing comfortable duet partners and thats why they try not to overdo putting pressure on it). but yeah they absolutely have days where they just hang out in one of the rehearsal studios and play around on the piano and try to find ways to harmonize on their favorite songs. this is some of the best singing riley ever does, bc its so low stakes and fun

i also think that honestly, zay really helps strengthen riley’s vocals over the time they’re friends -- especially early on. riley is someone with good raw talent but she’s never thought about honing it seriously prior to joining aaa, whereas zay has been on a career mindset since he was little. so he is good at teaching her like small technique things or helping her expand her range and she really values that esp bc hes so selfless about giving it, but it doesnt come off naggy or unnecessary like maya’s advice often does

sometimes it can be hard for them to find songs they both wanna sing though bc their music taste is so different. i think they have like three small categories where their favorites overlap -- select big names (sza, chloe x halle), jazz / old-time crooners (frank sinatra, nina simone, and the like), and select musical theater. but i think this is mainly on zay, bc he’s much more picky about music than riley who will give anything a listen without much nudging. as we know zay likes to pick on his friends’ music taste (like charlie and harry styles / 1d) and i don’t think riley would escape this affectionate teasing. they exchange song recs and riley gives him like her usual piano ballad-y sara bareilles tswift rachael yamagata energy and shes like oh yes, another piano ballad and hes like STOP!!! JUST LISTEEEENNNN GFSJKLHJFDSKLHKDLFH

that said though, they’re definitely go-to friends when it comes to like checking out a new local artist or coffeeshop open mic nights. this is probably a typical zay / riley / yindra outing

zay doesn’t spend a ton of time watching tv bc “he has better things to do with his time,” but riley and zay are definitely the type to watch a show together. like not always Together, but they’ll try to keep up with each other so that they can talk about it (and riley has to try really hard not to keep binging and get way ahead of zay). theyre good at this bc they can have really intense and opinionated conversations about it but in a way where its like safe and neither of them feel like theyre actually being judged / are stupid if they disagree (something thats not common for riley, and zay usually is trying to discuss media with super strong personalities who aren’t great at Debating).

in general, though, they tend to agree on favorite characters / relationships. for example, they both hate rachel berry -- which always gets maya and farkle extremely heated if they’re around. i can only imagine why...

they’re also definitely safe-space vent people for each other. they don’t use the privilege all that often bc i think both of them try to like keep their cool and not get hung up about things, but if they really just have to pop off about something they know they can go to the other person and they’ll actually Listen and keep it under wraps rather than either spilling it to everyone else and/or immediately trying to problem solve rather than just listening to the Emotions. and it’s helpful bc for the most part, their friends don’t actually really overlap that much, so they don’t really like harbor the emotions the other person unloads on them or let it affect their dynamics with other people? like riley can talk about dasher and zay can talk about yingel without it having any ripple consequences bc theyre different circles.

for example, i can totally see riley talking to zay about how she feels like -- at first -- asher doesn’t really like her and won’t really let her in and like he doesn’t want her to join the friend group (even tho that isn’t really true). like she can’t talk to dylan about it bc she’s not going to put him in that position and she’s not foolish enough to think that’s a good idea, she can’t talk to lucas about it bc he like doesn’t get stuff like that gFJKHGLFJSDLH and also he has such a set impression of asher it would be hard for him to understand it from her perspective. zay has none of that, so hes a good person to listen to her nerves about it.

the only times this gets kind of complicated / janky is in the midst of zay x charlie stuff where riley is kind of unintentionally (or, sometimes, intentionally) in the middle. like, zay trusts her not to go telling charlie what he says about him, but he knows they’re good friends too, and its an awkward position to put her in. but still, i think when zay is really hurt or frustrated he’ll snap sometimes and just vent out all his anger about charlie to riley in one foul swoop, and she’ll just absorb it like a sponge without judgment and then not bring it up again. but you can also see little ways where this puts pressure on their friendship, like how when he was drunk in 304 zay expressed resentment towards the fact that riley also talks to charlie and sometimes he feels like she puts him first, even though that isn’t true. it’s just..... a very very complicated (and interesting, if emotional) situation with that trio.

that being said, when things are Good, i think that zay feels comfortable talking about his significant others (including charlie) with riley. he doesn’t really get too Detailed about anything personal or anything, but they definitely discussed charlie in s2 in the small window of time where riley knew and zc wasn’t actively imploding LMAO. on the flip side, riley doesn’t really talk to zay about her relationships, but only bc her relationship is lucas GJFSKLJHLKDJHFLDSH. like anyone else she’d be like okay sure this is fine but she knows zay finds lucas annoying 65% of the time and talking about him in a romantic context grosses him out so she respects that LMAOOOO. hysterical

in general, if they’re gonna hang out, they usually go to either a local coffee shop they like (like svorskis) or each other’s houses. its kind of a relief to have a person they can just take anywhere and have around their parents with no trouble at all, considering both of them are used to having a boyfriend who cant be seen in their house (for different reasons). and theyre comfortable enough that like i think when they hang out at their houses, they just spread out in the living area of both bc theyre not hiding anything, its like very lowkey and comfortable

that being said, riley doesnt spend much time in zay’s usual studio at school. most people don’t, its a place zay now likes to be alone (and it feels weird with someone else being there who isnt charlie)

as for how they come off to their families, the babineauxs love riley. jada has met her a couple of times and thinks she’s super sweet + zay could afford to learn a thing or two from her like how to chill the fuck out (cue zay going shut the fuck up). donna is excited that zay has another friend who isn’t batshit intense about stuff like maya / farkle, she figures yindra has the diva best friend role covered and zay needs more friends like nigel and riley to ground him. she’s right about this.

cory likes zay, but he also does have some prejudices from the teaching perspective about how zay doesn’t pay attention in class half the time and blows off his assignments -- but this isn’t partially because cory isn’t a great teacher and his assignments suck. so the feeling is mutual, tho zay gets along better with cory in a neutral, polite sense than say, asher and dylan, where it’s like guerilla psychological warfare. topanga has no opinion about zay bc riley doesn’t introduce her friends to her (wisely).

they’re still very common lunch buddies. essentially when riley isn’t eating with the techies (which is only when lucas is there usually) or bothering lucas in the booth once a week, she’s with zay (which usually also means nigel, yindra, and farkle, though not always)

ultimately, i think that when someone asks riley who her best friend is, her mind will always jump to zay first. not even because theyre necessarily the closest at any given time, but because he really was her first life raft at aaa and he extended that kindness to her in a moment where she was so used to being brushed aside, talked over, ridiculed -- and you don’t forget that. it stays with you. so when she thinks about her Best Friend, speed round answer, he will always come to mind first. i think she greatly admires his skillful balance of confidence and compassion, his sarcastic sense of humor, the way he gets so passionate about dance and music and how these elements come together, and his inarguable kindness that is at his core and so fundamental to everything he does (even when his more known reputation is a bit more barbed and witty).

on the flip side, i think riley came into zay’s life at the exact moment he needed it. we know he felt isolated in s1, and even though i think he thinks of nigel and yindra as his first-to-mind best friends, riley was a breath of fresh air who allowed him to be himself with someone who wasnt going to judge him on past decisions or impressions. just like he gave her the chance to define herself in his eyes with his extension of company on that first day, she does the same for him by not making assumptions about him and learning who he is on their terms. i think she’s also just a really great, measured system of support -- she’s not busting his balls or keeping him in check like yindra and nigel do (except when its really needed, like 304), but she isn’t as in awe / romanticized with him like charlie. i think he appreciates that he can go to her for an honest perspective, but she’ll take the care to deliver that honesty in a gentle way. it’s like, he’s tough enough to take a hit, but sometimes its nice to know you have someone who will be kind with you even then.

that’s what is at the core of their friendship overall. kindness.

-- Maggie

[winchester90210]

The BH 90210 Rewrite. 1x20: Spring Training.

Rewrite Masterlist

Read the previous chapter here!

Chapter Summary: Alongside Brandon, you take a dive into the world of little league. 

Word count: 2,000

Warnings: Swearing, brief mention of violence. Also... I know nothing about baseball.

A/N: Hi everyone! Hope you enjoy this week’s episode! Took an extra week off to focus on my mental health and am feeling much better with everything now. I hope you guys are as excited as the next chapter as I am! It’s almost time for the spring dance :)

My work is to not be reposted/republished, and/or edited without my expressed written consent. (Reblogging is great and encouraged!!)

Feedback is very appreciated and encouraged!! :)

-

"With my dad laid up, we need all the help we can get. We’re practicing today if either of you want to join in on the festivities," Brandon persuades the two of you as you round the corner of the Peach Pit to sit at your usual booth. The familiar scent of pie crust and burgers fills the air, instantly putting your soul at ease. 

"Thanks… but no thanks, slim," Dylan rejects him, sliding into the seat opposite of you while Brandon follows suit. 

"Dylan, I thought you were a total baseball freak!" You tell him.

"I am, but listening to these parents berate their kids from the sidelines all day long," he shakes his head, cringing, "Brings back a whole slew of bad memories."

"But it shouldn't be about the parents!" Brandon protests, "It should be about being on a team, learning fundamentals, having a good time!" 

"That's very noble, Brandon. But when I was playing? It was about winning at any cost necessary.” Dylan argues. Brandon sighs in defeat, looking to you.

"What about you, Y/N/N?" 

"Not a chance,” you laugh. 

"What? Why not?" 

"Brandon… me and 20 kids, in an extremely competitive state? Did you learn nothing from the summer of '85?" You jest. Brandon chuckles at your extreme rejection, sliding a laminated menu your way. 

"Wait… what happened in '85?" Dylan's eyes flicker cluelessly between the two of you, awaiting an explanation.

"Look, it was no big deal. Things got a little heated during one of Eric's little league games," you shrug dismissively, flipping through the Peach Pit's menu as if you didn't get the same thing every time. 

"She beat up a nine-year-old,” Brandon quips.

“I didn’t beat up a—“ you pause, taking in a breath. “To put it simply I… put a kid back in his rightful place. He was picking on my brother, nothing happened that he didn't deserve." 

“What’d you do, tackle him out on the field?” Dylan lifts his eyebrows, amused smile on his face.

“No, of course not!” You duck your head back into your menu, mumbling, “I went out there and hit him in the groin with his bat.” 

-

The kids run out into the field, taking their positions with their needed equipment in hand. You lean back onto the warm metal fence, slipping a pair of sunglasses over your eyes to get a better look at Nat’s team. Without the glaring sun in your eyes.

“This is pathetic!” A young boy, adorned in a bright yellow Dukes uniform comes hurdling out from behind the fence to join Brandon and Steve. “They’re not even wearing uniforms!” 

“So what?” Brandon shrugs, voice hardened, “It’s a practice game.” Steve leans into Brandon to whisper something to him, but since he lacks the levels of common decency that most people acquire by the age of five, he talks loud enough for the whole team to hear. 

“They don’t look so good, Brandon.” 

“It’s okay. They came to play, that’s the important thing.” Man… sometimes Brandon felt too good to be true. You’re convinced there has to be a catch at this point. Gorgeous, smart, great with kids. What’s next? He opens up an animal sanctuary for underprivileged strays? Buys a soup kitchen? “Listen up, you guys. The way you treat your competition is a direct comment on how you play the game. Good sportsmanship counts big time with me and my old man…” as he continues to ramble on, your thoughts begin to shift elsewhere. Like how good he looks. It’s purely criminal for anyone to look so hot in yellow. It’s an inherently unattractive color. Yet, there he is—coaching children in the blazing heat, instilling them with good sportsmanship, and all you want to do is to get him to yourself. That bastard. You shake it off, chalking it up to teenage hormones, and try to focus on the game.

“Hey doofus! You really eat toads!” The same kid whining about uniforms earlier is now directing all of his pent up privilege and ten-year-old angst towards the poor, sweet, small child from Nat's team, the Pitts, further solidifying your desire to never procreate. 

“You’ll throw it better next time, Manny!” Nat encourages the little boy wholeheartedly, clapping for him as loudly as he can. 

“Hey Corey! Throw it to the doofus, he’s a real toad!” Does this kid only know two insults? The smaller brunette, the less athletically gifted child hangs his head, kicking sand around the base plate in frustration. Brandon takes note of it, immediately bounding out into the middle of the game.

“Time out! Crawford, get in the game for Noah!” His voice is stern, and as he approaches the boy he’s in total coach mode. It’s kinda hot... Well, it’s not your fault baseball’s boring. Gotta keep yourself entertained somehow.

Steve stops Randy Crawford from going out from the fence with the back of his hand, and going after Brandon himself, sand slipping from under his shoes. You can’t hear what they're saying but you know it’s not the happiest conversation. Knowing them, you know exactly how this is playing out. You don’t even need to hear them. You can see Steve furrow his brows from the sidelines, and Brandon’s gesticulating with his hands wildly as they talk but can’t make out any words that are flying from their mouths. Brandon, the moral center of Los Angeles wants Noah out for being a little jerk. Steve, being Steve, would probably rather keep the better player in than save the self esteem of a little boy before it’s too late and it no longer exists. It’s not long until Brandon pats Steve hard on the shoulder, storming off the field in a blur of sand and sweat.

Well, that’s your cue to leave, isn't it? You go to follow Brandon out, but Steve stops you short. 

“That boyfriend of yours is a total Boy Scout,” he spits. 

“Well, someone’s gotta be," You scoff, eyes rolling, ”They’re just kids, Steve! This isn’t Major League Baseball. There’s no trophy, there’s no prize. There’s absolutely nothing at stake here. What they need to be doing is having fun, and while that snot-nosed little jerk is out there on the field, they’re all gonna be miserable.” 

-

You flop down onto Dylan's couch, feet up on the armrest as he grabs a soda from the fridge and parks himself on the ottoman beside you. You exhale, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

"Rough day out with the little leaguers?" 

"Rough day out with Steve," you snort. “I’m so used to being around Brandon I forget that people like Steve Sanders even exist.” 

“Come on, Steve isn't that bad."

"Dylan, you're talking about the guy that got carjacked by a girl he was trying to hook up with, and still bailed her out of jail--despite the fact she robbed him justminutes before--in the hopes of getting laid, only for her to steal his wallet." Dylan's face screws in a mix of amusement and total disbelief.

"Okay, so he's that bad," Dylan laughs. "Sorry to break it to you, Y/N/N, but not everyone is a part of the illustrious Walsh family."

"Not everyone can be," you tease. He gently tosses you a throw pillow from the chair across the room, and you use it to prop up your head. "It’s a tragedy.”

-

“See, what did I tell you? Isn’t he sweet? Isn’t he great?” Brenda watches as you comb through the stray dog’s long gray fur. He really is cute… wet black nose, shaggy gray hair, big puppy dog eyes. But you can’t keep him. “I think he likes you!” 

“Bren, as much as I’d love to take this puppy home, my parents would kill me!" 

“Just take him for a trial run, and if you like him, keep him!”

“Bren—“ 

“Please?” 

“Bren—“

“Come on!” She pleads.

“Fine! Okay, okay. I’ll see if we can take him in tomorrow night,” you concede, giving the dog one last pat on the head. Brenda squeals happily, a grin on her face as she wraps her arms around you. 

-

“He’s great! You’ll love him!” 

"Fine. See you later... Wally."

The four of you watch silently, perched up at the counter of the Peach Pit as Nat's baseball team chows down on slices of pepperoni pizza. We've got Nat to your far left, wondering how the hell they're going to survive against the team from Beverly Hills, then we've got Dylan to your left debating on whether to finally help Nat and shack up with the struggling team, Brandon to your right who hasn't lifted his hand from your upper thigh this whole time which is seriously distracting, and you, wondering how such little boys could devour so much pizza in so little time. 

"You know the improvement from one week to the next is remarkable." You mumble.

"Oh yeah… the kids are showing a lot of promise." Brandon nods absentmindedly, bringing his cup to his lips. 

"But…" Dylan begins, "you still need a pitcher that can put the ball over the plate." 

"Yeah," Nat sighs, "but win or lose, the most important thing is how good the kids feel about themselves." He's trying to convince you, but the more he talks the more you know he's trying to convince himself. 

"Absolutely." You agree. 

"Totally." Brandon nods. 

"Yeah, I mean, in the long run that's all that counts," Dylan shrugs, his voice coated with scepticism.

"Absolutely." Brandon concurs.

"Totally…” You say. “Y’know, I was talking to Andrea about this and she knows a pretty great player from the valley."

They all turn their heads, slowly, with Nat glancing from you to the phone. You roll your eyes at the boys, making your way over to the payphone. The group watches with bated breath behind you as you slip in the quarters and dial her number, waiting for her to pick up. 

"Hello?"

"Andrea, hi! Listen, uh, do you remember the other day? You told me you knew some kid in the valley who was a major blue-chip little leaguer?"

"Oh, yeah! Avery?"

"Yeah… Avery." You twist your head back, giving them a smile and a thumbs up. 

-

"What's Dylan doing? Bringing in a ringer?" Steve scoffs, twisting the metal bat in his hand as he cleans it. You exchange knowing smirks with Brandon as Dylan helps Avery get ready on the sidelines. She takes off her ball cap, releasing the foot of long brunette pony-tailed hair. Gasps are heard from center field, seemingly originating from Noah. Shocker.

"Oh my god! Dude, it's a girl!" He laughs out, adjusting his cap against the wind.

"Poor Dylan, he's really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?" Oh, if only you and that misogynistic head of yours knew, Steve-O. And surprise, surprise—Every pitch she's involved in ends up in a home run for the Pitts.

And little by little, much to your joy, Steve is getting progressively more aggravated— tapping feet, flaring nostrils, bugged-out eyes. You’re beginning to like baseball.

Eventually you make your way over to Brenda, off by the sidelines. You watch as they send Davey from the Dukes out, and Manny, the small, athletically challenged boy from the Pitts, isn’t far behind. Brandon perks up, calling a timeout to give what you can only assume is another one of his infamous Brandon talks to his team. After a moment the team breaks up, moving into their correct positions and as Manny chokes up on his bat ready to pitch. You cringe, hiding your face in your hand.

 But it's nothing short of a miracle as Davey throws the ball. It makes contact with Manny's bat, soaring across the field as he jets off across the bases. The catcher from the Dukes runs for the ball, tripping over his own foot and skidding across the grass. The whole team erupts into ecstatic cheers, rushing out and lifting Manny onto their shoulders. You know that Davey blew the pitch for him, you’ve seen him pitch a hundred times. But seeing the joy on that little boy's face, you knew that it didn't matter. 

"Poor kid," Brenda sighs, looking out to the opposite direction to Randy Crawford, the catcher that landed face-first into the grass. "I mean, he really gave it his best-- Wally!" 

"Wally? Bren, what're you-- oh my god! That is Wally!" Off in the distance, you can see the gray ball of hair hurdling towards the baseball diamond.

"That's not Wally! That's Rupert! It's my dog, he's back!" Randy gasps, watching in amazement as his shaggy mutt runs across the crowds and into his open arms. 

"Hey uh," Brandon comes to greet you, but is looking out into the field as well, "isn't that supposed to be your dog, Y/N/N?" 

"No, Brandon," Brenda shakes her head, light smile lacing her lips. "I guess that's Randy's dog…" You sigh, but seeing the little boy giggle with glee as Wally-- er, Rupert, laps at his cheek, there's no troubling emotions to be found. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N/N," Brandon laces his fingers with yours, grabbing your attention with a soft kiss to your temple. 

"I'm not," you assure him. You smile, the sight of the boy reuniting with his long lost dog something straight out of a movie scene. One last look and you turn away from the boy, eyes meeting your boyfriend’s. “Hey, Brandon... have a date for that dance yet?”

-

-

-

-

-

Taglist: @be-patient-be-good​ @mpmarypoppins​ @bevelyhills90210​ @blueoz​ @princess-ghost-alien​ @hueycat2004​ @l4life​ @keepcalm-and-beyou​ @isthatabutterfly​ @rosy-pugs​ @thewalshess​

[seblaine-rph]

Can we talk about how Gradian might be just as bad as Joie?

If you want to tell me what brought you here with this comment, go ahead. I don’t have any insight on what their dash looks like and I assume that’s why you’re here. If @gradianvillagerp wants to take a look at the info below, they might improve their rp and grow by learning a thing or two. Remember that having a complaint lodged and/or showing you what you’ve done wrong while unaware that it was wrong is not as big of a problem as reacting poorly once you’ve been told. 

Looking at their main, I see they’re 1. using a known abuser as their main mascot and 2. there are multiple problematic fcs on their masterlist. I’m confused by the fact that there are abusers on their masterlist and there is an abuser for their mascot but they have people on their banned fc list because they’re also abusers. So I guess we’re picking and choosing which abusers we like and which are triggering. I’m also seeing 3. ethnicities not matching properly for canon families. 4. They also have Kristen Stewart as an fc, even though she’s asked not to be used as an fc because roleplay makes her uncomfortable. Jensen Ackles is on the masterlist too, and he is an iffy one, just be sure that you don’t use ANYTHING that has ANYTHING to do with his family. As a convention, he said that he doesn’t mind people using his face to rp with, as long as they do not push it on his family. I haven’t looked at the page to see if there are any pics up of him with any of his family, but if family pics were used then there is a problem. 

5. I also noticed that their masterlist is looking like the cast list for 50 Shades of White. There are a total of 5 people that aren’t white on the masterlist from what I can tell, and these 5 people all have very light skin. Masterlists like this make me feel like the roleplay is not at all welcoming to poc and may include subtle racist undertones. Because clearly the entire ooc masterlist prefers to write white. This is the kind of masterlist that makes me think that all of the poc are probably single because everyone’s writing their white faves and wants to ship with their other white faves. I’m not saying that is definitely what is happening, but that is what it looks like, from the eyes of someone who is not white. And this is based on many experiences. I also don’t see any transgender or nonbinary characters and the lack of diversity in general makes me sad. 

That’s the short and skinny of it, I’ll drop some receipts and go into more detail down below: 

Here’s a full list of what I found in just a few minutes on their main:

Cole Sprouse is their mascot and is on their masterlist. The same Cole Sprouse that has sexual abuse allegations, emotional abuse allegations, and a shit ton of privileged racism spouting out of his mouth. Alex Pettyfer is on their banned list for abuse allegations. Lea Michelle is on their banned list for being racist. But Cole is not only on the masterlist, he’s also the mascot for the main? Receipts and fuller detail on him down below, because it’d take too long to get into here and you’d never get to the rest of the problems. 

Dylan Sprouse is on the masterlist. He posted a pic of a girl he dated on Instagram and the caption was “My African Queen”. The girl’s skin tone was very tan, but many would have believe she was a black woman, but here’s the thing she isn’t black and when people called Dylan out of for having his girlfriend pretend another ethnicity, he made fun of them.

FIRST POST, with a blackfishing/blackfaced, edited photo:

The second post after he got called out:

KJ Apa is on their masterlist. He is fatphobic and sexist. There’s this post where he endorses bullying people if they’re fat because it’s “the only way to stop those useless bags of shit dying a fat, early death.” He’s also posted about beer being better than women. 

Vanessa Hudgens is on their masterlist. COVID is a trigger, but the girl that said, “It's a virus, I get it. Like, I respect it. But at the same time, like, even if everybody gets it, like, yeah, people are gonna die, which is terrible but, like, inevitable?" because she was mad she didn’t get to go to Coachella one time is okay to be there?

Jack Falahee is a Berry twin, twin to Rachel, but he’s not Jewish? Why are we erasing ethnicity? The only excuse to go against the Jewish ethnicity here would be by making the character half black, as per the season one storyline for Rachel’s birth, but the problem with that is that his mother would still be Jewish. So he’d still have to be half Jewish. 

Kristen Stewart is on the masterlist, but she’s asked not to be used in roleplays because it makes her uncomfortable. 

---------------------------------------------------

MORE ON COLE SPROUSE, 

because there was too much to put in one thing:

Cole Sprouse: He believes in reverse racism and has used MLK to attempt and justify his beliefs. He’s stated, 

This pseudo intellectual tone is the epitome of white privilege. As a white man not only does he not have right to define racism but to use a prominent Black activist in attempt to validate his ignorance is truly disgusting.  

He also compared BLM activists to cannibalism.

In 2015, some black lives matter activists interrupted a Bernie sanders rally in Seattle to criticize his campaign for paying insufficient attention to issues of criminal justice and race. Many people had their opinions on the situations, however Cole’s one didn’t make sense but also offensive. He hasn’t apologize for this remark and as a white man, he instead chose to educate people on what activism is supposed to be.

He also posted a pretty sketchy tweet about abuse, which reads “ Don’t become so jaded by abuse that your opposition becomes abusive”. This statement holds strong victim blaming sentiment and sounds like he is claiming that his actions were opposition and not abuse which is gaslighting. It should be known also that his very public ex girlfriend has been claiming that he sexually assaulted and abused her, and she’s not the only one with claims against him. 

It is also relevant to note that Cole Sprouse had this to say about a black man: 

He obviously comparing a black person to an animal. Many people have said him and Tyler are actually friends and this could have been an inside joke. No. 1 if it’s an inside joke then it should’ve stayed off the internet. 2. This is the famous excuse that many people use on themselves or to defend their idols, “I’m not racist, I have black friends!!!” or “I didn’t mean it, it was a joke.” It’s just telling of his character, when you think about the other racist remarks he’s mad. 

[lettersfromleslie]

HUNKERED DOWN / RONIED OUT / BALSAM, BEER & THE ROOFTOPS OF OLD AMSTERDAM

Hello! Writing you from the old nest, my erstwhile hometown of Amsterdam. Ariel and I have been hiding out at my dad’s the past ten days like a pair of runaways. What a life, eh? One minute you’re sitting pretty in your janky home on the hill, working like a bastard, enjoying your cat and your garden in a placid famblyman setting. Next thing you know a swarm of ronies come flapping in and you’re out on your ass again. So it goes. The lil lady and I broke our heads trying to come up with ways to salvage our life in that rusty old sausage factory N.Y.C., but with the lease coming due & wintertime looming there wasn’t a plan in sight, so here we are being a pair of mooches again. Amsterdam is where my family live, all in separate houses now, and I’m lucky to be able to count on em in gruesome times such as these. Our 10-day quarantine is over and we’ve been creeping around the old spots, empty canals, rainy days, looking to get smart, fit, and a bit less drunk.

What a summer, though! It was a weird and eerie privilege to be one of the few musicians in NYC still performing almost daily. I talked about that all plenty in my last post, but now that I’ve had to do without it for a while I’m beginning to realize how lucky I really was. Might ease me itchy fingers with some fresh livestreams, if there’s still an appetite for those these days. But yeah, so our lease expired on October 15th and that’s where the rug got pulled out from us. Sold most of our things and stashed the rest with pals. Spent two weeks in Ariel’s old hometown of Tupper Lake - see the photos above - and came back to the city to vote and fly on off again, this time to my old family stomping ground. Seems to be the thing these days. 

All of which was a bit of a bummer. Not where I’d fancied myself being at this point in my life. Tactical retreat, eh?

But hey, big news on the album front. Impatient tho I’ve been to just release the damn thing - I’ve had a “finished” solo cut since June - I held off because a few really wonderful opportunities floated my way. The one I can finally talk about is that Tony Garnier is playing bass on the record. That’s a big deal - Tony’s an absolutely legendary career man who’s played with everyone from Tom Waits to Paul Simon and whose main gig is as Bob Dylan’s permanent touring/recording bassist from the 80s on. I don’t think I could’ve picked anyone in the world over him. We recorded his parts on Sept. 29th at Van Gelder Studios in New Jersey - you’d have to Google that place to get a handle on how many legendary albums were recorded between those walls - and it sounded glorious. Ghosts galore! All of this was made possible by ace producer Perry Margouleff, who’s been a mentor of sorts for years - he gifted me the 1930s Gibson-made guitar that I used on *Masks & Mirrors* as well as the new album - and who will be doing the mixing for the final product. How bout that? And it actually looks like there’s more to come on the overdub front, altho I’d rather not jump the gun on that one till it’s all done.

Delays are only natural in this time of the Rona, I suppose. The people who helped fund the album on IndieGoGo have already received a copy of the solo takes (without any of the fancy production or overdubs) that got Perry and the other industry chaps interested in the project. Seemed only fair to hook up my backers, considering the original release date I set on the crowdfund was May or something. Everyone else is gonna have to wait, I guess! What with the goddamn pandemic and the political madness it seems a lot of people in the biz are waiting till the new year to start putting things out, and it looks like it’ll be the same for me. We’re not even done overdubbing yet, let alone mixing, mastering, and pressing the records! Meanwhile I’ve got to figure out what to do with my time here in the old country. I’ve got some work ahead getting all me ducks in a row for the album release - quack quack - preparing videos, photos, album art, PR shite, Fancy Contacts and so on. Meanwhile, while I have the last of my summer fat left to burn, I’d better try and get back to writing... I usually put out albums at a leisurely pace of one every couple years, but what with performing being a thing of the past I might as well try and double that. The fuck else am I supposed to do? With the world likely to remain all gummed and masked-up there’s not many options for us music bums aside from scribbling like hell and trying to land a record deal or something. Eh? Or get a real job, I guess, which is what I may have to do come January unless a miracle happens. Never had one yet, can you believe that? All I’ve ever done is play music.

Could be worse. I’m not grumbling. There’s been enough encouraging news & feedback on the album front that I’m feeling genuinely hopeful about the whole Career thing… I already felt good about the album but I feel even better about it now that all these people I have such enormous respect for are willing to sign their names to the thing. So I’m soldierin’ on, lads lasses & everyone in between! See you on the other side of the damn ocean some day!