#yeah like im 100% sure i took this within the last 3 months but thats fine! all surveys are fun! even if we take em more than once!

[purplesurveys]

1951

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? That's...what I look for in my weekends now, pretty much. I'm so busy wringing out 115% of my brain during the workweek that when Friday evening rolls around I'm just too mentally exhausted to even think about making plans. Sometimes I'll see friends, but even then I prefer to just hang out at someone's house or mine. In any case, I've taught myself that rest is also productive - so I no longer feel guilty about spending my weekends couch-rotting away.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? No but it's also because I don't seriously believe in it. I like hearing stories and seeing how creepy people's POVs can get, but gun to my head I don't believe in the whole concept.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? This is a hilarious question tbh because in the Philippines, everywhere is traffic and it's impossible to gauge my worst record. I just face it everyday. Idk. Maybe the time I tried going to Leni's thanksgiving rally when she lost the elections? For a drive that'd usually take 30-45 minutes, I got to the Katipunan area only after 5 hours. Everyone else and their mothers were headed to the same rally, hence the traffic.

I missed the entire thing so to cheer me up, my friends asked if I was up to go to a bar since it had been a Friday evening anyway.

What museums have you visited, if any? Too many to count. I like museums. I've gone to most, if not all of the ones within Metro Manila + I also make it a point to visit at least 1 museum in my local and international trips.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? Yes the house behind us has like 1000 fucking kids who do nothing but cry. I've pretty much memorized the way each kid's cry sounds at this point. Filipinos are non-confrontational lmao so the most I've gone is to just furiously bang my window in their direction as a way to tell them to shut up. One time my mom directly went to them and asked them to tone it down, but it fell on deaf ears so it's just pointless.

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No.

What area of math are you best at? Worst? Fractions and advanced algebra. Statistics can also be on the easy side so long as you have the formulas memorized.

Geometry, trigonometry, and calculus were without a doubt my worst. I barely passed a single exam in high school and I'm still of the theory that my teachers probably just passed me out of pity so that I don't need to take summer classes, lol.

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It makes me feel good and warm and fuzzy! Specific to my ~fanbase, and K-pop as a whole, Armys traditionally stick up and watch out for one another so it's always nice seeing them out in the wild. Just a couple months back when Jungkook's documentary was in theatres, I instinctively offered my snacks to the fans in front of me even though we didn't know each other ahaha.

Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? Not the good kind. But I do hold a certain level of belief in bad luck because I always seem to hoard it.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? The only time this happens is if I go to uncommon cuisine-specific restaurants and feel like locals' eyes are on me and judging the way I eat their food. Like earlier; I was at an authentic Korean place and got kongguksu and samgyupsal – two meals that DO NOT go together and Koreans never eat together, lol. But I wanted to try kongguksu and I was craving samgyupsal so I got both. I ended up just avoiding the eyes of the native Koreans who came in to eat there HAHAHA

Have you ever considered going to art school? Not art school but close – I applied for art management in Ateneo, since I had dreams of being a museum curator. I passed the exam, but since I had already also passed UPD at that point, I had to let it go. UP was my prio anyway by an infinitely larger margin.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? Yes, my closest cousin's dad. Aka my mom's brother/my uncle.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? Never.

Are your parents supportive of you? They are but they are also the practical/realistic kind of supportive. Badly put, if I had dreams to go to an expensive school or travel abroad, they'd cheer me on but they wouldn't give up an arm and a leg to make it happen for me; and they'd also be the first to tell me no, we can't afford it – which I understand and respect.

How often do you take the train to go places? Never.

Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? Nope. But Andi brought me to a mock courtroom once, if anything lol.

Do you have the right time set on your microwave? Yup.

Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why? I don't think we do, no.

Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box? Yes, flat screen.

Do you have a radar detector for your car? Nope.

Have you ever been arrested? For what? Never have.

Do you know how to change the oil in your car? Ahaha, nope. My dad prefers to do it - or when he's not here, we have a contact if it needs to be done.

Do you like Tootsie Rolls? I don't think I've ever had one, actually.

Are you seeing anybody currently? No.

Do you like it when it snows? I've never experienced snow.

Where do you do most of your shopping? Depends on what I'm shopping for. I take a liking to Uniqlo these days, though.

Do you have a big yard? It's average-sized but considering we grew up in a really cramped set-up, I'm just happy we have a backyard at all.

Do you live in the country or the city? City.

At what age did you obtain your driver license? 18.

What are you favorite kind of chips? Honey butter or baked potato chips!

Where did you go today? I was in Makati for most of the day. Work-wise, I was there to visit a print newspaper for our media rounds; but outside of work I also had a stacked agenda since I needed to buy more gifts for more relatives (it's our Christmas reunion tomorrow so it's procrastination at its very finest, LOL). All in all a very productive day and it also just so happens to be the weekend, so yay!

Are you sleepy right now? I'm getting there but I can still finish this. And maybe take another one? We'll see. I never follow through on statements like this though, hahaha.

What color is your mousepad? I don't use one but my trackpad is silver/grey.

Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Nope.

Has anyone given you flowers recently? Not since April.

Has anyone you know been arrested recently? Not arrested but pulled over for traffic violations - Gabie and Hans.

Do you have more than 1 email address? That I do.

Do you have central heating and air? No.

Are there any plants in your house? Yes, they're all my mom's. I don't really care for plants.

Do you prefer cold or warm weather? Cold.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid. But I don't mind either.

Do you wear any perfumes/colognes on a regular basis? Yes.

Do you have high or low self-esteem levels? It depends; there are so many contexts to self-esteem. I definitely fluctuate.

When was the last time you listened to a song on repeat? What was the song? Not sure, maybe last week? It was the Japanese version of Falling by Jin, featuring Taka from One Ok Rock.

Do you like mint or orange-flavored chocolate? Mintcho is fine. Orange chocolate...I can take it or leave it.

When was the last time you burnt your mouth from eating something too hot? This rarely happens to me because I'm super sensitive to pain and automatically spit something out if I find it too hot lol.

What is your favorite foreign language to listen to? (In music or speech) Nothing tbh but if anything, maybe French.

Do you prefer instrumental songs or ones with lyrics? Lyrics.

Name something simple that makes you happy. Finding a parking slot near the entrance of where I'm headed.

What is your favorite instrument to listen to? Piano.

Pick one: Books, movies or music? Music > movies > books.

What was the last book you read about? It's a collection of history essays.

When was the last time you used a quote from a movie in real life? Earlier. My sister made a White Chicks reference and my instinct was to sing the Guantanamera bit that happens in the opening scene lol

Can you put your legs behind your head? I probably could. I did it a lot as a kid hahaha. I know it will 100% hurt more at 26 but I'm pretty sure I still can.

Do you forget things easily? Yes. :(

The last song you listened to: Did it have a male or female vocalist? 7 boys.

Have you ever had braces? Do you need them? I did and I have them again now.

What does your voice sound like? (Loud, quiet, high-pitched, etc) It's on the deeper side but nothing too deep that I'd get mistaken as a boy. It just doesn't really have that softness that most girls I know tend to have. Idk how else I can explain my own voice, sorry hahah.

What was the last topic you read about on Wikipedia? I looked up Niki cos I just got quickly curious about how she shot up to fame in such a short amount of time.

Have you ever donated money to Wikipedia? No.

What board games did you play when you were growing up? Just traditional/common ones like scrabble, snakes and ladders, checkers etc.

Do you know any sign language? Like less than 10 words, so no.

When was the last time you bought new clothes? What did you get? Earlier! I got this elegant-looking day dress from Uniqlo that I'm planning to wear to the Christmas party on my dad's side.

Do you ever watch streamers on Twitch? Nope.

Has your house ever been broken into? How did you find out? It has not.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? I don't eat anything and just fix myself a cup of coffee.

Are you overwhelmed right now? Not anymore because it's the weekend.

Did you share a bedroom with someone when you were growing up? I didn't even have my own bedroom growing up, so the default answer here is yes. I didn't get my own until I was around 10/11.

How many group chats are you in? Do you participate in them much? So many. GCs are just everyday life for Filipinos. I have more active GCs than active threads with individual people.

Are you still in touch with any of your exes? No.

What do you do for work? I do local PR for the biggest consumer brands in the world that you 100% know about.

Were you upset when you found out certain things weren’t real? (Santa, Tooth Fairy…) I was always a bit of a realistic kid and kind of had an inkling that none of them were real. It was my parents working overtime trying to convince me that they were, hahaha.

Name something you’re proud of. Brag a little bit. I've been sponsoring my family's noche buena and media noche for the last 3 years :) We weren't dirt poor in my growing-up years but we definitely had to save more than we could spend, so it just as well felt like we were poor. Getting to a point where I can ask them whatever they wanted to eat and shush them about worrying about the price definitely feels good.

Which store would you like to win $1000 for? Nike.

Do you pay any attention to celebrity drama? I pick and choose which ones to follow. I'm definitely not, like, chronically online if it comes to things like this.

What popular food do you dislike? Ice cream. I eat slowly, so we're incompatible from the get-go!

Do you have any cats? Yes we have our Maxwell George :)

How many slices of pizza can you eat in 1 sitting? Sometimes 1, sometimes 3.

[iloveyouw]

16 Nov 2022 omg its my brothers bday 9.30am ish

here is my attempt on giving my life review.

1/5 stars. hate the old me actually but here goes. honestly dk if this is what u want, but i think i shall express it in my own thoughts.

when i was with Gary i was young. he was my first love. and it wasnt how i thought it would be. i think he is a great person, but and a subpar boyfriend. thats maybe cos of our age gap. i always felt very small with him and i hate being "shut down", i was young and energetic. i had goals and dreams. i wanted to be an art director. when i was 19, we all had that conv of what do we see ourselves 5 years later. i said i dont know. it feels far away. little did i know the worst years of my life was about to happen. when i was 19 i was already a broken person. what happened to me the first time to an unknown stranger, it felt forced. i wasnt ready 100%. i was pessured because back then the ppl around me were not virgins anymore. it felt like i was in a rush to prove myself. i know. i know. that sounds fucking, incredibly dumb. what can i say? i was young and stupid. i always find the need to lie about my numbers. i told gary he wasnt my first, just because im scared of feeling more than less than if it were the case. i told him he was my third or second. i dont rmb, i rmb lying about it. i was ashamed, he had like 9 or 10. again, incredibly stupid. i could never be myself. as i grew older, i always learn and find myself being ashamed of who i am. who i was. who i would eventually turn out to be. theres just, always a reason to be ashamed of myself.

when i broke up w gary i wasnt in love with him anymore. i did not give him proper closure. he was left in shambles. right away, i went to exploreeee, i am 20 now. i was scared of hooking up. haziq warned me about how the first times would be like. its a thin fine line to thread. i threaded it and narrowly escaped. matt. the first hook up. i took it pretty well. it was awkward as hell. like fucking awkward. uncomfortable awkward. but i wanted it. i wanted to try. i knew i had support. i always make sure i am cushioned if i fall. horrible thing to say yeah; well matt used me. i didnt know that until 6 months later he snapchatted me and ask if i were around. he didnt even remember i dont live there. i met 7 australians in the span of 2 weeks. well sorta. i rmb being ghosted by 1 and i left 1 half way. i rmb i told him (i need to pass my roommate the keys to the apartment, its v last min srysry) and i up and leave, we were at a bar LOL. i was scared. so minus that 2 i met matt, jerry, guy 1 (where we just made out), guy 2 (where i just gave him a bj lol horrible too), alex (the one that begged me to go over). matt wasnt an issue, i forgot how he looked like, but i rmb his dog. and i rmb it being extremely awkward. but i told haziq i think i got attached. but i was not la. i was confused at that time. but it deep down i know it wasnt anything. horrible guy for expecting me to go back 6mths ltr.

jerry. he was a great person. he didnt use me. jerry wanted to hang out with me and get to know me, like actually. within a week, we met like 3 or 4 times? it was different yknow, he treated my like a local and respected me! he brought me to get groceries beers, hummus, snacks and we sat at a park. it was a beautiful day and view. weather was great. we talked. thats the first time. then the next one he brought me to a rooftop bar!! v cool place along the melb street. i miss that place. not the disgusting men. but i fell in love with melb!! then after he brought me over. but we didnt hook up yet. we sat at the porch and listened to our fav music. i shared turnover with him and he shares his with me. i dont remember though. after awhile it go warm we head in, ordered pizza and watched black mirror. he was the one that got me hooked to the show!! he bought everything including ubers and shit. we smoked a joint and it was very common there. everyond had weed in their pockets. like 9 out of 10 people have. then i got comfortable with him and thats when we hooked up! i stayed the night i think. then next morning he sent me back. i think he was in the midst of moving, so the next time we met was his new place? really cant remember. but we hooked up again and he was the first guy that bother to pleasure me. come to think of it. gary like nv go down on me before. not any that i can rmb of anyways. back to it, i didnt know how to cum lol so i pretended it was nice but really i dont know how to feel. and then i cant rmb but i think he send me to school that morning and when he dropped me was like alot of traffic and i almost got banged haha and he texted like be careful u almost got smooshed. so thats nice. thats all ah. to me jerry was a nice cute little relationship that we both got like a lil attached but knew it couldnt be anything. and nothing better than both parties feeling mutual yet agreeable. so i liked that! plus he was essentially doing my dream job, abit different but still hes creative! (back when i had dreams)

and then comes the shitty people that i always try to forget, like the one that ghosted me -.- and the one that i knew i wasnt gna get anything out of it but felt obliged to meet since we agreed. then i sucked him off which honestly, did i want it? back then maybe. but it felt more like, compliance. which i know, again, horrible. then the skinny one, at least he have the decency to buy me a drink... but thats the least he could do honestly. not worth, 0 worth. but i tried saying no. and i wasnt firm enough. so that happened. i will give him credit for sending me back the next day. although it made me feel like shit so he ought to. honestly he ought to do more but ugh whatever.

dumb dumb dumb and dumbest thing about to happen u ready? i came back and that was when i knew kegan. so i give u an example. it wasnt the exact dates ah, but its how rmbed it to be. nov i knew qai, dec i knew kegan, jan i got tgt with kegan. so qai was there all along. he liked me, i just didnt like him like that. we kissed cos i didnt know what to do. I KNOW HORRIBLE TOO LOL but he wanted more and i pushed him and said no. i knew i didnt want to have anything like that with him. i guess i dont know how to say no. its true. then kegan lai liao lor. first time we met i think we talked first. yknow, hes an asshole. he had to cheek to tell me (when we were alrd tgt) that the first time we met he purposely suggested somewhere near my place so i would say yes) i got baited wtf. i have something thats unrelated that i can tell u about kegan, if u wna know i tell u but im not gna write here, but just for my reference it is about matthew.

first time we met, i just came back from australia. im "new" and "changed", yknow, not timid jo anymore. proud of what i did. c00l. so i acted like im not afraid of meeting new people and hooking up. "its normal what" mentality. so first time meeting kegan, i told him "u want or not" HAHA and then he said i was bold and he liked me. and i tell u kegan is the biggest loser of all time. i fucking hate him. hes the biggest shapeshifter, he is NOT who i thought he was and he was amazing at doing that. again, maybe the meth. omg do i have a special spot for him in my heart cos i turned out to be him... living a fake identity and trying to run away but get pulled back by meth.... ok i stop here for now. i go think about that first then cont LOL its been an hour ish alrd. i dont know if this is what u want. i will just post it it can serve as a reminder for me to... although im afraid of whats to come... hais. ok nnww

side note, in melb i walked alot. i walked everywhere. i rmb walking for like 3-4 bus stops and go shopping alone, i just opened my google maps and see a mall, i maps my way there, then this old lady asked me for directions, which was very cute!! i acted like im a local haha and used the map to show her where she was going, then she gave me coins LOL and forgot what she said, but smth like get ice cream or smth. so thats very cute.

[nerdytranswoman]

NSFW ask! those questions......... alllll of them.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not sure. I tend to follow my gut when i meet people, so maybe there's some subconscious thoughts? But Personally, I’d say not, since I actively seek out thoughts on looks in order to change them by thinking “what if that was you?”. 

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. Yes they are. I feel so good when I click with a group of people, but when I find that one I can spend 100% of my time/energy with, they are all i need.

3. Are you a virgin?

haha, whats that?

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not in any I like, thats for sure. (samy, shut up. you got your family/live under the same roof, i want mine.)

5. Are you in love?

yes.

6. Are you single this year?

yeah. ish. 

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can, and I have before. 

8. Describe your crush

Smart, funny, nerdy, loves to talk with me, but even the silence in eachothers company was amazing, seeing the stars/moon reminds me of her every night. 9. Describe your perfect mate

^up there.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

mmm, yes? people are people, and sometimes they just... click!

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, but not for government benefits. For Love. 

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

No, not without a VERY good explanation with proof. 

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yes. bitch, I know I ordered the salad, but I’d cheat on it with your burger anyday.

other than that, no.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Yes.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes. Yes I do. ;p

16. Do you have any tattoos?

yes. 27 if you count individual letters separately.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

If it’s someone I love, then the world can fuck off as I make out with them in the middle of the mall.

20. Do you shower every day?

I try to, but water conservation/depression sometimes get in the way.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Yup. I’m cute as heck, so unless you’re Ace, I assume you have feelings for me. 

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably. Do parents ever not think about their kid?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Easily.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Well, I was engaged last year, so who knows! Maybe!

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yes, of course. I’m sick of my heart breaking tho.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes. I didn't think it would be that bad till I lost them.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

mmm, nope.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Kinda? I’ve been lied to in the middle of a break with an understanding we would use the break to improve our relationship.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Never.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Yup. Besides the standard surgery, I want to modify my body with augmentable mechanical limbs!31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Every day.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yup. Hated it.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yup. Loved all of them. wait, no scratch that, still love them all even if our lives are going in two different directions now.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes. Yes I have. 

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Liked? LIKED??!?! I love her. RIP, Alex. I miss you.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yup. first gf. she was manipulative and my friends told me, but I wouldn't listen.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes. First time I met them I was scared shitless, but now I’m pretty sure that person would fight for me if someone was a big enough of a dick to me. 

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, everyday for two years now. 

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

haha, yes! but none of you’ll ever hear it!

41. Have you had sex so far this year?Yes, though not as much as my newfound horniness would like me to be having. 

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Umm, depends? Sometimes kissing doesn't start till after the wandering?

43. How long was your longest relationship?

3 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Umm, I’ve dated a lot, but in terms of actual relationships? 5. 

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Nobody. That’s when I was coming out of the closet to myself. 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

I had a partner then, so...

47. How old are you?

Im currently a Quarter of a century old. How about that?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

“Awesome! go get that skan... Skilled tuba player, im assuming.” 

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Currently not applicable. But I do like the intelligence and depth of conversation I’ve had with partners. 

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

No. That ship has sailed.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes. 

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A girl named Glenni. She told me she was Ace, but I will admit it took a little longer than that to stop pining for her. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

A few people don’t like my on-again/off-again/complex relationship with a gal in Monterey.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Alex.

55. Share a relationship story.

Watching the sunset on the beach slowly turn into a hamburger because of the clouds. We also had a picnic and I made vegan cheese for her sandwich! Idk what happened, but sadly we are no longer together.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Soft, Squishy, blonde leg/arm hair that makes me look shaved even after 8 months, a scar on my nose, a scar on my arm, crazy strength, shit stamina, gets wet at the beach.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Fuck you for messing me up so badly that when I met the next person to make me feel even happier, I chickened out out of fear I’d lose them. 

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Food, Conversational compatibility, cuddles, Adventures, ability to enjoy eachothers company in silence.59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Here

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

7 years. that's the extreme I’m willing to date.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Eyes, usually. Not color or shape, but how they express themselves, if that makes sense.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I’d say something special that shows me how much they care for me. 

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Um, pretty much whatever you do with you and your partners genitals i guess?

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Seeing someone else in a relationship/sexual capacity without my knowledge. 

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Teasing, followed by light touching.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

BDSM, Brat vs Dom. I’ll let you guess what role I like to play. ;p

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Lots of cuddling, movies, and food all at home followed by sexytimes maybe?

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Gay. women are just so hot. 

69. What turns you off?

Lots of things. but being mean is pretty high up there. 

70. What turns you on?

Cheezy romantic crap directed at me.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Giving my partner complete (consensual and trusting with a safeword) control for them to do whatever they want with me. 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

... 

”Good girl.” 

>.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Take me out for fancy food.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Weight. I dont like too skinny or too heavy, but someone with a healthy looking amount of chub I can become immediately attracted to. 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Flew out to visit me. We shared one kiss. 

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Idk, I like to think im pretty sweet to most people in general, but I don't know what the sweetest thing I’ve done for someone is. 

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

if you’re not in your teens, don't date a teen. Otherwise, keep it within a decade to minimize incompatibility brought about by slight differences in culture growing up, especially in this technological age where it seems every six months there’s a new generation influencing the world. My limit is 7 years.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Ever sucked a girls dick on a beach under a new moon? I have. 

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

A few days ago. She’s just better than me in every way it seems. 

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

yesterday?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Me, samy, rain, glenni, alex

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

um, my therapist. A new one that i can very easily open up too, and apparently the feelings I’ve shared with her made her want to hug me at the end of our session. 

83. Who was your first kiss with?

NOBODY. thats who. 

she ded 2 me.

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

I have no clue. I thought things were going well, but then she told me she wanted to end things romanticly. I accepted, because why not? I don't want to force someone to be with me that doesn't want to. But I do worry it was something i said, something I did. 

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

haha, how do you think i find gf’s?

[chronicillschronicpills]

Get to know this spoonie better

what’s the most embarrassing question to get?

- i VERY rarely get embarrassed but probably about my weight gain! although im not easily flappable 

what was your most surprising diagnosis?

- mixed connective tissue disorder

what was your most heartbreaking diagnosis?

- mixed connective tissue disorder

what illnesses do you have?

- mixed connective tissue disorder, muscular pain disorder, IBS, depression 

how do you feel right now?

- a little bit buzzed of some pain killers, pretty good tho, tiny bit stressed about exams and uni! but overall, good right now in this moment

do you ever wear face masks?

- yes! i borrow my flat mates clay one when she lets me, and i had that peel off black face mask which was a laugh 

do you have a diagnosis you’re embarrassed to divulge?

- definitely not

what is the worst you’ve felt?

- pain wise, i went to hospital a couple of years ago for period pains the day after i had an iron infusion. they were the worst pains i had ever had, i was passing in and out of consciousness, i couldnt speak or walk, i didnt care that my dad saw me fully nude because of the pain. i remember my dad coming into my bedroom and saying, do you want to go to the hospital and i was like NO im not going to the bloody hospital for period pain and then within the hour i was like TAKE ME NOW. that was 10/10 pain

what branch of medicine did the worst doctor you’ve ever had practice?

- general practitioner; he was condescending, didnt listen, was very dismissive, didnt give me any pain killers for an entire year because i was ‘too young’ and he ‘felt uncomfortable’ (YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE CUNT?! TRY BEING IN PAIN ALL THE FUCKING TIME)

worst nurse experience?

- all nurses i’ve ever had were AWESOME 

does weather affect your condition?

- yes, i am basically allergic to the sun and i get rashes, nauseous and headaches. the cold makes my joints hurt more 

do you have a companion animal?

- i did! i had my three dogs before my parents moved countries and took them with them. biggles, my 15 year old pupper, was my baby and never left my side. 

do you have any rare diseases?

- i dont think lupus is super rare tbh!

do you have any allergies?

- only to 2 medicine; bupropion (gave me seizures) and nortriptaline (made me vomit, gave me rashes) 

 do you use marijuana?

- no i dont, i used to smoke it but i never enjoyed it. it makes me super anxious and weird. i have no problem with people using it. i wish we had medical marijuana here so i could find a strain that fit me better cause it would be great for pain 

 describe your flares. 

- extreme pain that inhibits sleep while being way more fatigued than normal at the same time, i get a butterfly rash on my face. i sometimes get so tired that i sleep 22 hours a day and become non verbal if i am awake (i havent been like that since being on plaquinel). 

do you get gas?

- hell yeah, i am like the gassiest person i know

fave safe food?

- bread

can you drink alcohol?

- yes i do, but i get the fricken worst hang overs. i love drinking and all my friends drink a lot but i cant often keep up with them! wine is <3

what was your last cause for celebration?

- a friends birthday 

do you exercise?

- i used to be really sporty and fit, but since becoming more and more ill, there is very little i can do. walking is hard enough! so no i dont. i tried to go bowling the other day and was sore for a week!?!

do baths help you?

- i hate baths! i dont like being hot, i get bored and most of all, we dont have one! 

describe your last ambulance ride.

- it was when i had a cluster of seizures in 2014! i dont remember the drive too well because i had another one in there, but i think the paramedics were lovely!

most expensive medication?

- most medicines in new zealand are 5 dollars for a 3 month prescription, but my plaquinel is 15 dollars as it is not as subsidised but hey! thats fucking cheap.  

 do you get stabby pains?

- yes, especially in my shoulder blades, feels like someone is stabbing me in the back. 

what are your meds?

- plaquinel, the contraceptive pill, vitamin d, venlafaxine, gabapentin

do you get infusions?

- when my iron drops too low, i’ve gotten infusions 

do you like anon messages?

- yes i fucking love them 

are you religious?

- 100% NO. i am not even in the slightest bit. not even close. I am the biggest atheist. ive studied the philosophy of religion at university to try and understand it better but it legit just made me more atheist. i believe religion was birthed out of a fear of death and the unknown, which i dont find rational.  

what’s one thing that exacerbates your pain?

- movement 

do you use mobility aids?

- im not sure if this really counts, but i use wrist guards when my wrist joints are hurting a lot 

thanks for reading if you got this far, you should reblog with your answers!

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[lycanrox]

response to aidens post lol

Thanks for forcing me into a relationship and making me fall for you because of your temporary affection if-Tearing me apart internally when I KNEW I was not good enough, when I KNEW we were not going to last because you always had someone better. You gave me false hope and tore me up and used my body just for you to help you out. gonna copy nd paste then post my response ok cool

-Guilt trip and gaslight when you thought I was going to get with someone else, people making compliments towards me got you into a rage fit. You never apologized for always getting pissed when I never did shit and you take compliments all the time. 

i never tried to guilt trip. i told you many times its ok to get with someone else. you literally dated someone else and i was ok with it. it wasnt compliments i was upset over, you literally had people saying they were in love with you. thats really weird to me. i was scared to be abandoned. people dont compliment me, all i have is my boyfriend and my qpp. maybe my close friends compliment me but its not a big deal. did i freak out over ur friends calling u daddy and shit? why should u get upset over people doing that to me?

-Manipulating everyone to know only your side, ignoring my sincere apologies, calling them bullshit, ignoring the fact that I never did those things again and told you to call me out. You barely did, but I did always stop when you told me to.

literally i already said. He sat there with me as youd text me and fight with me. you went to Her, my fp, to complain about me without telling her my side. everyone who ive talked to has seen all of it. i give people my phone and let them read everything since even before we broke up. im not scared to show my side. 

-Controlling me, telling me to do everything and give you love all the time and you literally did that all the time. “I hate myself I want to die”, was that not manipulation, when I always try to comfort you? But, you pushed me away and said you never asked. I was extremely supportive in your times of misery and self harm, what have you ever done for me?

how did i control you? i didnt tell you to do shit. saying “love me” as a joke isnt controlling. i wanted attention, god forbid. you do the same to me. “i hate myself i want to die” is literally just me self loathing, how is that manipulation??? i was venting to you because i trust you. i appreciated the comfort but yes i never wanted help. help is not what i want, i dont want to be in the hospital, i dont want to be put on new meds, i dont want a support group i just want to feel less alone.

-Calling me abusive for literally nothing, for “months” I have apparently abused you when A) I never fucking harmed you, a gentle push I guess which I thoroughly apologized for, but nah it’s all bullshit according to you and B) You have done manipulative and abusive things to me like: Forcing me to do things with you, making me have to kiss you within the first 5 days because you were so sad, trying to talk sexually to me when I was not ready but I got into it because that is what YOU wanted, exhausting my limits to how much you wanted from me, expecting me to love on you and care for you when you are always talking about how many feelings you have for someone else, putting me into a poly relationship without my consent the second time, always having some shit to complain about because I cannot be perfect, pinning me against my friends, and the list goes on.

if like 10 different people are calling you abusive its probably true, dude. you did harm me. you ignored the fact i literally said you punched me. you never apologized for that. i was fucking upset over it and you just sat there and watchd me tear up and curl in a ball. you tried to fucking excuse yourself for it. “I deal with things irrationally, I live in a family that physically hits each other, and it was a blur I cannot just stop and think. I did not blame him for being scared? I said it isn’t my fault and it doesn’t mean I havent gone through things either.” literal quote from you. “...it was aggressive but gentle...” another literal quote. 

i never forced you to. in fact it was always you texting me about how horny you are, you made an nsfw blog so i could see the shit you put on there, you were the first person to make sexual advances. i told you i get sex repulsed sometimes and you apparently dont even remember that because at least 3 times a week you talked to me about being horny and what was i supposed to do? you would be at my house and tell me how much you wanted to fuck, you said literally “i cant wait for after-prom sex” and i didnt let you stay the night because of that. you were the one who always wanted sex. i never forced you to do anything, you were the one who touched me without consent. i didnt make you kiss me. before we were even dating you talked about kissing me all the time. you asked me to teach you how to kiss, so yeah like .. 5 days after we started dating you spent the night and we kissed like 3 times. it wasnt that big of a deal. you asked for it. the first time we sexually talked all i said was i wanted to give you hickeys and you asked to sext, so we did. 

poly relationship w/o consent? when we first started dating i was already dating oliver. when we broke up, again, i was dating oliver so when you ASKED ME OUT again you knew i was still with them. no force. when did i ever pin you against your friends? the only person i ever said shit abt was p**** because he was getting too obsessive when you were uncomfy, and you encouraged me to do that.

-You made me believe that all I was ever doing was WRONG, and I have told you that five trillion times, and you never did anything to help that. I know I was not wrong for trying to be supportive even though I was triggered to death, but you made me feel like I was a fucking nuisance in your life.

how??? i did everything i could to tell you how great of a boyfriend you were. i told you every day how much i loved you. how perfect you were. i didnt do shit, you were the one who made me feel like shit every day because i wasnt physically or mentally able to suit your romantic needs. 

-Blaming me for all your damn mistakes, I got defensive because it was never me, blaming me for being paranoid when you did things and hinted at things to provoke that, and your paranoia was never apologized for either. Even in the beginning, I apologized for being paranoid and it took a long ass time for that to come back because you are so unpredictable and you were never clear with any of the things you said. 

yes i admit i have trouble owning up to my own mistakes. im sorry that i blamed you for things. you dont deserve that. im mature enough to own up and apologize for that. i dont know what i did to make you paranoid but im sorry that that happened. i am unpredictable. i know. yikes at me

-Vaguely saying you did some things wrong too but hiding behind your illnesses as well, not even asking me what you could have done better. You want the cold hard truth? You are getting it. Yes, I was supportive of what you had and I guess I am ableist for trying to help you to change. I WAS SO ABLEIST for wanting the absolute bare minimum. You already said we were just becoming friends at that stage, and the fact of the matter is, you hurt the shit out of me.

i try not to hide behind my illnesses but i really cant help some things because of my illnesses. i tried asking what i could do. i tried doing what you wanted. you are ableist tbqh because i told you i COULDNT DO THE THINGS YOU WANTED but you pushed me every day to fucking do it and when i broke down and apoligzed for not being able to do it you made me feel like ABSOLUTE SHIT!!! i was the worst bf ever bc i cant do some romantic things sometimes!!!!! yikes im so problematic for being disabled!!

-You become avoidant to self harm and don’t fucking apologize for pushing people away. You always told me you were here for me when I needed help but you never actually listened to me. I never jumped straight into things, sorry if you believe that. I always said I was feeling terrible and you decided to expand.

i dont have to apologize for pushing people away if its whats best for me mentally. i am 100% sure in that. i always ask whats wrong because i care about you but when i dont know what youre going to say its a 50/50 chance ill get triggered and if im triggered i cant really think properly!! i get flashbacks and anxiety attacks when i see even specfic words. ive told you before its not great to depend on me for that stuff. that im always here for you but im here to listen, not to help. i cant help myself, how can i help you?

-Saying you were fine all the time, lying to me when something was wrong, I always had to find out from someone else about what you have done.

wow yikes i didnt tell you when i felt shitty because i didnt want to trigger you. yikes because i dont want your help or advice sometimes. i want people to listen but you never JSUT listen you have some styff to say and while some ppl like that i dont!! i dont like being told how to think or feel or what to do

-Abusing your medications and getting high when I first broke up with you, saying you got dumped, implying you didn’t deserve it when you never deserved me. I spent over $200 dollars on your boyfriend’s medical bills, but I am careless and unkind I suppose.

i was already abusing my medications :-/ i never called you careless or unkind but ok

-Tearing me apart internally when I KNEW I was not good enough, when I KNEW we were not going to last because you always had someone better. You gave me false hope and tore me up and used my body just for you to help you out.

what did i ever do to make you feel not good enough lol. not do the things i said before i cant do? i didnt use your body, not once not ever. dont even start that shit. you know my history of rape and sexual abuse. what the actual fuck. 

-Again, since you cannot get it through your selfish mind, you never owned up for ANYTHING you have done, and guess what? I only do what people do to me. So, you treating me bad, I tried to forgive you and become collected, but you pushed me to where I thought I was stuck in the relationship. Why? Because if I left, you would become suicidal, if you left, you would want to come back immediately.

i tried owning up to things and ive apologized for many things i shouldnt have had to. tbqh ive wanted to break up since like.. right after prom bc the way you were being so i wouldnt have been suicidal if you left. yeah i wouldve been upset if i left because its hard for me to detach myself from people

You have no idea what you did, you have no idea what you were doing.

lol u rite

People defending your disgusting actions are no better than you are, you only exclude what you have done to make yourself seem innocent. 

people excusing you for hitting me and sexually abusing me and manipulating and gaslighting me are worse than people supporting me. i was maybe bad to you to combat myself from you hurting me!! i dont want to fucking get hurt again so when you do something shitty i have to do something shitty in return! 

Thanks for forcing me into a relationship and making me fall for you because of your temporary affection 

you asked me out both times. 

I asked you all the damn time if you wanted space, but you said “No, it’s fine,” when you damn well knew it wasn’t. Why are you such a blatant liar?

i didnt want to hurt you by leaving you alone.

Oh and also, when you “broke up” with your boyfriend of two years for me, but always texting endearing things to them when we were together, how cute of you to do that.

we did break up. yeah i fucking missed them though. its hard for me to detach. but i wasnt seeing them behind your back. you know very well it was sho who was dating oliver, not me. i text them endearing things because theyre my fp/dp and i love them. 

anything abusive ive done i literally didnt mean to do. youre the one whos just now pushing all this shit on me. dont accuse me of being abusive when you didnt tell me when these things made you upset. i didnt fucking know. i cant read minds. i cant do any of that shit. i also dont have empathy and cant think of other peoples emotions so its hard for me to think about how/if my actions are affecting people, unless they fuckign tell me. which you didnt. instead, you just told me how fucking shitty i was. i was an awful boyfriend, im using you, im cheating, im not good enough, i cant satisfy you. i guess i was so bad you just had to start dating that other guy, and as you said, because “he can give you things i cannot give”. jeez im so FUCKING sorry.

[skiasurveys]

1) Are you really ready for 1000000 questions? ok

2) What was the last thing you drank? Orange juice 

3) Do you believe in God? Yes.

4) What did you last say? “oh my god.”

5) Do you regret it?

No?

6) Have you ever been depressed? I have depression.

7) Have a best friend? I do. 

8) Are you a boy or girl? I am a girl.

9) What is your relationship status? taken. 9 months holy shit!!!

10) How do you want to die? In my sleep. quietly and peaceful, please.

11) What did you last eat? Mac n cheese. 

12) Play any sports? Not anymore, i used to play volley ball in school

13) Do you bite your nails? yeah, and i hate itttt

14) When was your last physical fight? Never really been in a physical fight

15) What is the last sound you just heard? my fingers on the keyboard

16) Do you hate anyone at the moment? yep!

17) Do you miss anyone? Yes a lot of people, actually.

18) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? neither. i hate spaghetti.

19) Do you tan a lot? no. only naturally in the summer lmao

20) Have any pets? 2 cats

21) How exactly are you feeling? i feel fine. i had an interview, went good. i few weird right now, though. anixous 

22) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? Yeah, i dont do it often, unless were on trips

23) Ever made out in a bathroom? yes, kinda? i mean we fucked in the bathroom

24) Would you take any of your exes back? No. they all suck

25) Are you scared of spiders? no 

26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I would, maybe to stop alan from hurting me, or maybe to tell myself to not trust anyone, but idk it was a learning experience, but it was awful. I dont know, really.

27) Do you regret anything from your past? Oh yes.

28) What are your plans for this weekend? The weekend just past, but for this coming weekend, im thinking im hanging out with my best friend, and then seeing Connor, probably.

29) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with a C? Yes, my current boyfriend, connor 

30) Do you type fast? Yes.

31) Do you have piercings? I did, I had my ears pierced, and the lady said to take them out within 3 months. so i did, and well i took them out to put new earrings in and it hurt really bad, so i left them out for like 3 hours and by then they were closed. =.=

32) Can you spell well? Yeah, i think so

33) Do you miss anyone from your past? I do

34) What are you craving right now? nothing

35) Ever been to a bonfire party? Not really. i would love too

36) Have you ever been on a horse? yeah a couple times

37) Kissed someone in a pick up truck? my boyfriend

38) Last hug? Connor

39) Have you ever been cheated on? Not that im aware of

40) Last thing you watched on tv? Troll Hunters. LOL yes connor makes me watch cartoons with him. He’s turning 27.

41) Would you live with someone without marrying them? yeah. Connor and I are planning on moving in together in the next little bit.

42) What should you be doing? nothing really...

43) What’s irritating you right now? a lot of things. 

44) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Yes.

45) Does somebody love you? my boyfriend, friends, family. my cats.

46) What is your favorite color? lilac 

47) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yes.

48) Do you have trust issues? I do now. 

49) What’s the last thing you said out loud? “Youre so weird”

50) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink? No.

51) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah

52) What’s on your mind? nothing really.

53) Last book you read? I like him. He likes her.

54) Who was the last person you cried in front of? connor

55) Do you give out second chances too easily? yeah. I shouldn’t, but i do.

56) Is it easier to forgive or forget? forgive duh

57) Is this year the best year of your life? ehhhh, i mean i feel happier in a way?

58) Do you think you’ re a good person? i hope so

59) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? No. not everything

60) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? I was editing Youtube Videos

61) Does your mind ever get stuck in the past? yeah, im always dwelling on it. wishing i could change time, or wishing it was different

62) What is bothering you? honestly nothing

63) Have you ever been out of province?Out of county? Yes.

64) Do you play the Wii? We have one, but i don’t play on it as much. I play on the Wii U though. But i like my Playstation 4 more

67) Are you listening to music right now? Nope.

68) Do you like Chinese food? Yeah, but i had some last night and made me sick =.=

69) Do you know your fathers b-day? Yes.

70) Are you afraid of the dark? Yes.

71) Is cheating ever okay? No its not. 

72) Are you mean? i dont think so.

73) Can you keep white shoes clean? I can.

74) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal? No lmao

75) Do you believe in true love? yeah. 

76) Are you proud of the person you’ve become? yes and no.

77) Do you like the outside? yeah..when its not snowing. =.=

78) Are you currently bored? noo

79) Do you wanna get married? eventually 

80) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? yeah, i like it when connor calls me that.

81) Are you hungry? no

82) Do you have a bank account? Yes.

83) What makes you happy? cats 

84) Ever been to Alaska? No.

85) Do you watch the news? Yes.

86) Do you like Subway? I do.

87) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? noooo. were dating 

88) Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My mom.

89) Do you talk like your friends? yeah, its funny. I notice little things i say and do and im like damn thats just like so and so

90) What’s a word you say a lot? “For sure”, “ I know” “Um..” “Like” “ I dont know “ “ I was kidding” “FUUUUCK” lol that almost makes a sentence 

91) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? Yes

92) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah

93) Who is the last girl you talked to? My sister 

94) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? He smokes weed, but i don’t care. I only would care if he was doing cigs, and if it was extreme.

95) Do you go to church? sometimes when i can

96) What’s going on between you and your best friend? nothing ??

97) Who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? Kaylie

98) Have you ever regretted letting someone go? Yes.

99) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos? yeah

100) What do you wear more: Hoodies, Jackets, Cardies..? Hoodies.

101) You’re a Sharpie marker, what color are you? lilac or a pastel color 

102) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? morning, but i like baths at night.

103) Have you ever said you’d never love again? yeah. lol

104) Do you want to please everyone? usually.

105) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? no

106) Has someone ever made you a promise & broken it? Yes.

107) Are you alone right now? yes

108) Did you speak to your father today? he is dead.

109) How many months/days untill your birthday? 10 months

110) Did you enjoy this survey? yea it was lit