#yeah ive been getting jnto this game
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Ironclad
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Cannot wait for the best moment in me1 after my paragon ass works on garrus for the entire game and hes like um u stole the normandy? After everything u said?
I have literally never been so proud
#and yeah he slam dunks everything i told him jnto a dumpster after shep dies so he can go play batman#but its the thought that counts buddy#i just like that line a lot and ive never heard anybody mention it before but i love it#bc it means he really internalized everything shep told him and took it to heart#then the afformentionrd slam dunking and then i gotta start over#but i get him back there eventually#even tho the games refused to give me the same influence over him in me3 bc i feel like after hanging with paragon shep for 3 games#he would be more firm in his convictions#instead of the wishy washy centrist thing he does in that game#cuz they assume that shep will make consisten choices and he just agrees with whatever#tricking u into thinking he remembered and learned#but the criticism of the action that doesnt match the advice is so fuckin good and i wish that had been in the other games a lot#in me3 if u did that hed be like yeah well. gotta do what u gotta do amirite shep?#but the me1 paragon garrus arc is.....*chefs kiss*#me2 paragon arc path is still good but u dont see any confirmation or evolution from the results of his personal quest#how fuckin great would it have been if u save sidonis and he shapes up and starts trying really hard#or u kill him and he goes like full renegade no rules just right outback justice#u see that with a lot of other characters in me2 which is funny#i think its funny how they push the bff thing so hard with a character they gave very little dialogue in me2#im gonna write all this in a real post someday youll see
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2 bodies
2 souls
2 minds
Two broken fragmented intertwined and paired selves that adapt and change to fit their environment
Fucking fusion tbh
But.. Like sometimes i come undone... Or get so lnotted uo with fragmented rscing thoughts and perspectives and opinions and feelings and colors and math and logics and reasoning and i camt hear what one makes the most sense cause like those parts of my brain dont fucking communicate right and im just playing this never ending game of looping catch up but fuck yoi bitch im catching up lol
And when i am... Idk tjat ill ever be... One...
But when i am two and as whole and "self" care taught as i cam manage to cobble together with all this effort... Maybe i can relax jnto just... Like a couple main selves??? Idk.... Trying to walk a line between too optimistic and ... Too... Afraid tjat im making myself crazier whicj is dumb im just making mysrlf a faster thinker and teaching the parts of me that race too fast to catch in normal time, that its okay, like im therapising each fear JUST a little as it comes each time and im comquoring them.because im actively working on my fear in about 7 different mindful ways at fucking once??? Idk... My analogies give me.power. its like truenaming. Plus the music and the microdosing...
I talked to mysrlf today. Ya know... That joke aboit yoite only crazy if you talk back? Well fuvk y'all ive been crazy since too young to pinpoint, (this baby dont cry)
So... Idk. Im fjnding mysrlf...s?... Yeah im not editing this to tumblrrrrrrrr
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