#yeah it's about that hamlet post

[hamletthedane]

Hamlet’s Age

Not to bring up an age-old debate that doesn’t even matter, but I have been thinking recently how interesting Hamlet’s age is both in-text and as meta-text.

To summarize a whole lot of discussion, we basically only have the following clues as to Hamlet’s age:

Hamlet and Horatio are both college students at Wittenberg. In Early Modern/Late Renaissance Europe, noble boys typically began their university education at 14 and usually completed at their Bachelor’s degree by 18 or 19. However, they may have been studying for their Master’s degrees, which was typically awarded by age 25 at the latest. For reference, contemporary Kit Marlowe was a pretty late bloomer who received a bachelor’s degree at 20 and a master’s degree at 23.

Hamlet is AGGRESSIVELY described as a “youth” by many different characters - I believe more than any other male shakespeare character (other than 16yo Romeo). While usage could vary, Shakespeare tended to use “youth” to mean a man in his late teens/very early 20s (actually, he mostly uses it to describe beardless ‘men’ who are actually crossdressing women - likely literally played by young men in their late teens)

King Hamlet is old enough to be grey-haired, but Queen Gertrude is young enough to have additional children (or so Hamlet strongly implies)

Hamlet talks about plucking out the hairs of his beard, so he is old enough to at least theoretically have a beard

In the folio version, the gravedigger says he became a gravedigger the day of Hamlet’s birth, and that he’s be “sixteene here, man and boy, thirty years.” However, it’s unclear if “sixteene” means “sixteen” or “sexton” (ie has he worked here for 16 years but is 30 years old, or has he been sexton there for thirty years?)

Hamlet knew Yorick as a young child, and the gravedigger says Yorick was buried 23 years ago. However, the first quarto version version of Hamlet says “dozen years” instead of “three and twenty.” This suggests the line changed over time. (Or that the bad quarto sucks - I really need to make that post about it, huh…)

Yorick is a skull, and according to the gravedigger’s expertise, he has thus been dead for at least 7-8 years - implying Hamlet is at least ~15yo if he remembers Yorick from his childhood

One important thing sometimes overlooked - Claudius takes the throne at King Hamlet’s death, not Prince Hamlet. That is mostly a commentary on English and French monarchist politics at the time, but it is strange within the internal text. A thirty year old Hamlet presumably would have become the new monarch, not the married-in uncle (unless Gertrude is the vehicle through which the crown passes a la Mary I/Phillip II - certainly food for thought)

Honestly, Hamlet is SO aggressively described as being very young that I’m fairly confident the in-text intention is to have him be around 18-23yo. Placing his age at 30yo simply does not make much sense in the context of his descriptors, his narrative role, and his status as a university student.

However, it doesn’t really matter what the “right” answer is, because the confusion itself is what makes the gravedigger scene so interesting and metatextual. We can basically assume one of the following, given the folio text:

Hamlet really is meant to be 30yo, and that was supposed to surprise or imply something to the contemporary audience that is now lost to us

Older actors were playing Hamlet by the time the folio was written down, and the gravedigger’s description was an in-text justification of the seeming disconnect between age of actor and description of “youth”

Older actors were playing Hamlet by the time the folio was set down, and the gravedigger’s description was an in-text JOKE making fun of the fact that a 30-something year old is playing a high-school aged boy. This makes sense, as the gravedigger is a clown and Hamlet is a play that constantly pokes fun at its own tropes and breaks the fourth wall for its audience

The gravedigger cannot count or remember how old he is, and that’s the joke (this is the most common modern interpretation whenever the line isn’t otherwise played straight). If the clown was, for example, particularly old, those lines would be very funny

Any way you look at it, I believe something is echoing there. It seems like this is one of the many moments in Hamlet where you catch a glimpse of some contemporary in-joke about theater and theater culture* that we can only try to parse out from limited context 430 years later. And honestly, that’s so interesting and cool.

*(My other favorite example of this is when Hamlet asks Polonius about what it was like to play Julius Caesar in an exchange that pokes fun of Polonius’ actor a little. This is clearly an inside-joke directed at Globe regulars - the actor who played Polonius must have also played Julius Caesar in Shakespeare’s play, and been very well reviewed. Hamlet’s joke about Brutus also implies the actor who played Brutus is one of the main cast in Hamlet - possibly even the prince himself, depending on how the line is read).

[vellichorsdesire]

masc term likers imagine your f/o reading classics for whatever reason, maybe they just want to catch up on them or just found the book recently and found it interesting i don’t know. but as you’re trying not to disturb their reading session and wish them a quick good night, they just absentmindedly make a reference to one of their books saying “good night, sweet prince.” either with their usual tone of voice or in a silly fancy kind and it makes you freeze on the spot or makes you drop to your knees on the floor immediately, killing you

[thehamletdiaries]

After watching this production of Hamlet, I, of course, made my way over to Stratford-Upon-Avon's Hamlet statue and just hung out with him for a while (and brushed all the cobwebs and spiderwebs off him).

There was something about this moment...having just watched a production of Hamlet where the Hamlet actor, well, wasn't Hamlet..going to this statue that very much is Hamlet and feeling like "oh, there you are".

[flowercrown-bard]

from now on whenever i struggle to figure out what happens next in my writing I'll add [enter pirates of plot convenience] as a place holder

[crazyw3irdo]

been asked if i’ll make a hamlet version of my uquiz and truly like i get why you’d want me to do that but why would i do that when rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead exists

[katyspersonal]

One of the coolest things my friend Kris said, "A good headcanon differs from the canon knowingly, not out of wilfull ignorance".

Like, there is a big difference between being corrected (not always for an indisputable reason, but the intention matters) and being creatively policed! When someone shares a headcanon and you know the canon bit that contradicts it, just say it! Either they could reconsider their idea with the new information or say "yeah cool but I prefer to write my own thing, not to be 100% accurate to the canon" which are both valid. Because, the latter one knowingly differs from the canon!

But like, apparently in the eyes of some people, being informed on what was missed equals baiting hostility, policing creativity or whatnot? Like, yet again, if someone gets straight up angry and vindictive at being reminded that they are in the fandom, for something with pre-existing information, then it loops back to the question of why they are in a fandom and not doing their own original project to begin with! I can't find any other reasoning for admitting you do not want to even know canon and only here to take basic surface bits to make your own thing besides the fact that pre-existing fanbase just will engage more willingly even with canon divergent portrayals, stories and just AUs!

But like... you can't be in a fandom while expecting to never have any discussion with other fans about this story and characters! Being told that you are wrong and being told that you are wrong for BEING wrong are two whole different things, and mentality of fans not being allowed to say anything besides agreement, when it is about pre-existing media, is straight up lame and not what fandoms are about. Not everyone who points what is missing a petty redditor that hates headcanons; most of the "well actualies" come from the place of love for both canon and headcanons! This is the case of "before you break the rules you need to know them", but people that tell what rules are are anything but wrong, hostile or immature. People that say "you come into my house and maliciously ruin my fun" when they hear about those rules, however?

Again: a good headcanon differs from the canon knowingly, not out of wilfull ignorance.

[merlions]

Im terribly sorry to report that I am having Hamlet Thoughts again :/

It is possible I have said this all before maybe several times. But!

Why is everyone so judgy of Hamlet!!! It feels like when people were all "wait Romeo and Juliet makes sense if you remember they were fuckin TEENS" but the same justice has not been granted my good boy Small Ham??

Well Hamlet:

Was also a teen!

With a recently dead dad!

Found out his mother married his uncle.

Found out his UNCLE MURDERED HIS FATHER.

Noticed no one cared! No one even knew, really? So he couldn't really do anything about it cause now this guy is the king??

Was commanded by the ghost of his dead father to murder that guy!

Does NOT want to commit murder!!! I cannot stress enough how much Hamlet's whole entire arc is him just making up excuses to stall because he can't think of a way around having to kill Claudius but he just! Does! Not! Want! To!

"OK the only real evidence I even have of this is a literal ghost and however much faith I have in my own judgement. So like. Maybe I should fact check that before I murder a possibly innocent guy in cold blood?"

Is a nervous wreck!! "He's pretending he was driven mad by grief, he's not actually mentally unwell" he's literally contemplating suicide, he did a whole long soliloquy about it. Y'know, the one that goes like, "To be or not to be"? It was this whole thing idk, I thought it was pretty memorable but maybe that's just me

"Hey mom maybe we should like not hang around that guy he seems like he's maybe bad news-oh FUCK he's literally spying on me saying this to you, hes gonna kill me SHIT" *stabs randomly at curtain*

ACCIDENTALLY KILLS HIS GIRLFRIEND'S DAD

CAUSES HER THE SAME MADNESS BY GRIEF HE'S [only half] PRETENDING TO BE AFFLICTED BY

NOT GOOD. THE SITUATION IS NOT IDEAL

Does this fuckin play he was stalling on to try to at least get Claudius to say something about it, like truly can we salvage something out of this

NOPE

CLAUDIUS GETS A GUY TO ATTEMPT MURDER ON HAMLET BY POISONING HIS BLADE IN A DUEL

GETS IMPATIENT AND TRIES TO KILL HIM WITH MORE, OTHER POISON

HAMLETS MOM DRINKS THAT POISON TO KEEP HAMLET FROM DRINKING IT

THE GUY COERCED TO KILL HAMLET THEN SUCCESSFULLY POISONS HIM

HAMLET POISONS HIM RIGHT BACK

CLAUDIUS DRINKS MORE POISON ON PURPOSE

EVERYONE IS NOW DEAD

???????

HOW IS THIS ALL HAMLET'S FAULT

"If hamlet had done the murder at the start he wouldn't have cost several other random people their lives including himself, hes so terrible and indecisive" LISTEN

First of all. I wonder if maybe the guy who actually did the murder and stole the crown and then directly caused death to most of those other dead people - I wonder if he might be partly responsible? For a few of those people dying. I wonder if King Claudius of Denmark might share some of the blame for some of those people that got dead directly and accidentally by his hand. (Now thicker than itself with brother's, wife's, son's, son's girlfriend's brother's, and arguably son's girlfriend's father's blood! Starting to doubt there IS rain enough in the sweet heavens to wash it white as snow actually. That's a lot of blood)

Also Hamlet is 17? Why was it HIS responsibility to deal with Claudius?? Oh yeah and

HE DIDNT WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE?????

WOULD YOU???????

[calmlythrilling]

hey professor could you create a catboy potion

A very long, very tired sigh. Believe it or not, this is not the first time he's been requested for such a thing.

"Yes, I could create a .... 'catboy potion.' Are you in the business for one? Ears and tail if you or someone else drinks the whole thing, I can even make sure they're specific colors and fur textures... there can also be other features if you're wanting them. Teeth, tongue, ability to purr, so forth..."

[blue-corvid]

I don’t have to share someone’s tastes to think they should be treated well. Fuck the haters.

I truly need everyone on this hellsite to get comfortable expressing support for something without feeling the need to simultaneously distance yourself from it. this absolutely plagues the notifications of several of my posts, ranging from the one about friends having sex with each other to the new containment breach about romance novels.

"this is fine I WOULD PERSONALLY NEVER DO IT IT'S NOT FOR ME NOT MY CUP OF TEA NO SIR I WOULD PERSONALLY NEVER PLEASE DON'T MISTAKE ME FOR SOMEONE WHO WOULD but it's fine if you do" is like. idk. it's a small thing and it's dumb but making a point to distance yourself really undercuts the affirmation you're trying to to provide and more importantly it is very very annoying to have to scroll through in my notifs

[bluetooththereptile]

The other family

(Yandere batfamily x reader) (Coraline coded au)

( English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in the following text.)

This fic was inspired by this post.

Note: I've loosely based this on Wika by Olivier ledriot and tales of Bogymen taking abused and neglected children away to punish the parents.

Tw: yandere tendencies, child neglect, horror?

The sound of the crickets outside your open window was mixed with the distant noises of the fan in your room working to help with the heat that had haunted Wayne Manor for a week now, the heat wave that had hit Gotham a few days ago was unbearable, even during the nights. You tossed around in your bed, refusing to let go of the green dragon plushie that had been your loyal companion for your days at daycare. You looked into its faded eyes because of rough use and a pout came to your lips, maybe you should take Hamlet with you, yeah, the other mom would allow it right?

You had spent your days enjoying your slushies, and milkshakes, playing video games, and rolling on the cool sheets of your bed, but whatever you did you found yourself slowly losing your patience, they had said you could go back to them every weekend so where was the other cat? You poked your head out of your bedroom now and then to catch a glimpse of its white fluffy fur but it was nowhere to be seen in the dark hallway that seemed to stretch on.

Trying to pass the time you snuck out of your room to take another ice cream from the freezer, maybe its taste would calm your nerves, you were supposed to be asleep by nine pm but you knew you had to stay awake until midnight for the other cat to come and find you, it was it's routine by now even if it meant you'd get scolded by Alfred, the only person that cared for your sleep schedule, it was worth it!

You walked past the empty rooms of Others who had gone to patrol that night, your feet made little noise as you walked past the rooms one by one, turning past the corners to get to the main staircase of the Manor, you glanced at the few doors you could recognize in the dim light, holding hamlet closer to your chest as you walked past Dick's guest room, he always said he'd be there for you, but you couldn't remember the last time he had sat down to talk to you like he did with others, maybe it was because he was too old for you? But he always told others that he didn't care about that. You couldn't comprehend why you were invisible to your oldest sibling.

You walked past Tim's room as well before poking your head to the corner that lead to the room Mom and Dad shared, you padded closer, peaking in with curiosity through the ajar door to see your mom sitting behind her vanity desk, lazily filing her nails as she talked to her phone. Her back facing the door. She had put on her usual hair curling rolls, the sound of her soft chuckles in the air as she spoke with her friend. Mom never laughed like that when she was with you or Dad, unless she was shopping, maybe she liked buying gifts for herself so that was why she was happy shopping? You loved gifts too!

"Yeah I don't know, Bruce is getting rather boring, to be honest" Selina sighed as she leaned back in her seat, putting her slender legs up on the low-level vanity, "yeah, good thing I've dragged on the engagement, imagine I bite the trap" She snorted as she filed her forefinger, "Y/N?" You tensed at hearing your name "I'm not sure about the kid, I mean I never wanted a child to begin with but now that I'm strapped to a grown-up toddler what else can I do but stay? I don't know maybe I give up the custody to Bruce or something like that, you know me, I'm not for the domestic life"

Hearing your mom say those things was both confusing and sad, you didn't understand why mom didn't love dad, dad loved her so much! To the point that he always made sure to call her every day! Dad rarely called to the daycare to talk with you, unless he wanted to say happy birthday or something like that since rarely came home at night, Alfred would pick you up or send someone trusted to take you back home, but Dad made sure to take Mom everywhere himself! Plus if mom didn't like you why did she give birth to you? Were you unwanted?

You clutched Hamlet to your chest and buried your face into its fur as you walked passed the door towards the kitchen. Maybe you would take a bag of snacks with the ice cream, yeah eating always soothed you. Getting down the stairs you walked inside the kitchen, sneaking in to open the door of the double freezer only to be stopped by Alfred who gave you a knowing look, making you freeze as you sheepishly looked up.

"I just wanted a chocolate ice cream, it's too hot in my room," you said trying to give your best puppy eyes look, the older man put his hands on his hips giving you a scolding look in return "Too much dairy makes your stomach hurt, remember?" He spoke, his voice firm but not harsh, you pouted as you held the handle of the freezer's door "Please just tonight? I've been good today" you pleaded, Alfred sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before he gave in and handed you a small tub of ice cream with a spoon. "Just be careful to not spill it alright?" He spoke softly, his eyes saddening a little as he watched your small smile, you rarely smiled these days.

You walked out of the kitchen, holding the cold tub in your hand before you froze at the sight of the white feline at the end of the hall, looking at you expectantly, the tub and the spoon fell from your hand as if you were under a spell and you enthusiastically followed the cat, eyes wide with excitement "Alfred!" You called in a hushed tone to the other cat who was sitting patiently for you, its crimson eyes blinking softly as its long tail swished about, Damian's cat Alfred never liked you for some reason, but this one loved being around you purring as it came to your vicinity.

"Hello, kitty kitty!" You bent down to pet the fluffy creature who arched its back to your touch, lovingly rubbing against your legs, gently kneading your slippers. The soft "mrrp" sound of the cat made you smile more, searching under its chin. "Good kitty!" You cooed, before giggling softly as the cat licked your fingers gently, rubbing its head to your fingers to make you pet it a little more, purring a storm.

After the cat had its fair share of your attention it turned around and padded away before turning back to look at you as if to say "What are you waiting for? Follow me!" You followed the feline creature with a big smile on your lips, walking through hallway after hallway, not noticing the walls and temperature shifting as the other cat guided you to another world. It was your weekly routine now.

It soon turned too cold as you walked deeper into the hallways and you started to shiver, holding Hamlet even closer as you finally walked through a single door at the end of the hallway you were at, entering the entrance hall of the Wayne Manor again, where you had started your journey with the other cat, but the coldness of the air and the eerie lights of the lamps and candles gave you the signs that you were at the Other Side.

You looked around squealing with joy at the sight of the other Alfred who held a large blanket for you, standing by a large chair close to the light fireplace greeted you with a warm smile, chuckling as you ran to him, opening his arms before snugging you in the warm blanket in his hands. He gently wrapped you up fully, putting you on the chair to warm you up. He hummed a soft song under his breath, making you giggle as he wiped your face with a warm towel he had nearby. The other Alfred rarely spoke for some reason.

"My baby!" The other mom called for you loudly, making your head snap up and you nearly fell from your seat from excitement at the sight of her in a comfortable set of clothes, so much different than what your mom used to wear, making you feel uncomfortable even if she was at home with you. "Mo-!" Before you could say anything you were in other mom's arms, showered with her kisses. "Oh, my baby! How I've missed you!" She kept kissing your now rosy cheeks, giggling with you as she held you close. She smelt of lilacs, and she was even more beautiful than your own mom, her silvery eyes were warm, just like her smile. She didn't wear too much makeup that would cake on your skin like whenever your own mom kissed you. Her skin was soft and her unpainted lips were always smiling, making your little heart flutter.

You let out a soft squeak when you felt more pressure around you, sneaking a peak from the other mom's embrace to see the other dad holding both you and the other mom, smiling warmly. "How have you been my sweetling?" The other dad's voice was deeper and he had the same silver eyes as the others on the other side. You felt your cheeks hurt from how much you were smiling. A loud laugh left you as the other dad tickled you through the blanket, the couple chuckling at the sight of your joy. The other dad was always home when you were visiting the other side, even if others were on patrol he was there, he still loved the other mother just like your dad did, but the other also loved...you.

The other dad held you two for a long time, as if he wanted to make sure you wouldn't run away just like the first time you did when you had gotten into the other side. Which had become a side joke with your other family. "You need a good bath and new clothes before dinner" The other mom hummed as she sniffed your hair, her comment finally breaking the hold of the hug around you.

The other dad picked you up without a struggle, making you giggle "Daddy!" You called, making a soft shuddering breath leave his lips at the way you called him that, you had started opening up to the couple and it filled them with joy, you had heard the other Alfred and the other Dick discuss this before, apparently, the other mom and dad were depressed for a long, long time. You couldn't see how the other mom put her hand over her mouth as she nearly teared up at the way you called the other Bruce that. "Again" the other dad whispered "hm?" You tilted your head to the side, holding Hamlet with your hand as the other held onto the other dad's shoulder "Call me again" the other dad insisted, and you smiled as you called him again "Daddy!", he closed his eyes as he buried his face into your hair for a whole minute, his board shoulders tense as he tried to hold back his tears, his baby was alive again, alive!

The other dad took you to your other room filled with everything you liked after he had come to his senses, the other mom had made sure to decorate your room to your tastes and had even changed the wallpaper three times for you. The fireplace there was on, and the bathroom was already filled with steam coming off of the glistening marble bathtub there, when you got close to the bathroom you curiously looked at the bubbles in the air, gasping. You had never seen a bathbomb make bubbles! "Bubbles!" You squealed in joy as you popped one, making the other dad's smile widen. He kissed your forehead before he put you down gently, the other mom undressed you carefully, and then she shooed her husband away when she started to take off your underwear "It's a private moment with me and my baby!" She had said,  making the other dad groan. You jumped on your feet as the cold air hit you, making the other mom coo as she picked you up by your sides "It's okay! It's okay!" She then lowered you into the warm water, watching with satisfaction as your body eased down.

The other dad left the bathroom as the other mom washed you, soothingly wiping the dried sweat off you with a soft loofah. You had never been washed like this before, sure Alfred washed you nearly daily or you'd manage to shilishali your way in a shower, but it wasn't as enjoyable as this one. The other mom would coo and softly praise you for heeding her gentle orders to put your arms up, holding her hand over your eyes as she poured water on your hair, making goofy hairstyles with you as you watched yourself in the mirror at the other side of the bathroom. Your giggles filling the air, ignorant of the snow falling outside.

After washing you up the other mom carefully rinsed you, drying you up before she gently put soothing lotion on the soles of your feet and your knees that you had scrapped after a rough play at daycare. You loved seeing the other mom dote on you and pamper you like no other. She even made sure to dry your ear canals, making you scrunch up your nose as she hit a spot while drying up your left ear "It was itchy wasn't it?" She asked, chuckling as you nodded. The other mom laughed a lot with you, and you never grew tired of it. Her voice was like an angel's always making you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

The other mom dried your hair with a blow dryer, brushing it carefully before putting on a pair of very cozy and warm pajamas for you. "But Mommy I shouldn't wear pajamas to dinner!" You said, confused "Mommy makes the rules and you can wear whatever you want to dinner" She booped your nose after that, She then gave Hamlet back to you before putting on your fuzzy socks. You wiggled your toes to watch the googly eyes of the bears on your socks move, oh how much you had begged your mom to buy you those cute socks but she hadn't, calling them too silly.

The other mom held you as she walked to the dining room and by the moment she opened the door others burst into energy and mirth at the sight of you, Everyone was there, even the other Damian was smiling! Speaking of your other brother he was quick to rush towards you and hug you tightly after the other mom put you down, Damian never hugged you like this, even if he said he was your older brother, him saying that always rang hollow, but with the other Damian? Oh, it was something else!

Damian held your hand as he guided you to your seat and helped you sit on it, petting your head and Hamlet's. The other mom sat at your left side and the other Damian sat at the right, and as others spoke with each other the other mom put a napkin on your lap and neatly snug one on your collar and chest before she put a spoon full of your favorite stew in your mouth, and you ate with enthusiasm. Chewing the savory roast with both your cheeks full.

The other dad smiled leaning on his elbow as he watched you eat, putting his hand on the other mom's shoulder as she put spoonful after spoonful into your mouth, his eyes soft and full of love for you. You still remembered the first time you had met him, his face was of shock and confusion "Angel?" He had called you but you had meekly mumbled out your name, making him gasp and speak of something along the lines of "Our prayers were answered, glory to Balor!" Who was Balor? No one answered you that.

The other mom was so kind, dabbing napkins on your mouth if a bit of food smeared the corners of it, watching you chew and swallow before putting another spoon of the hearty stew, giving you the juiciest cuts of meat that melted into your mouth. You scrunched up your nose again at her as you tasted a tangy bit, making her giggle "It's alright sweetie, just try to swallow it" and you did with slight difficulty. "Good job!" She clapped her hands together, the ring on her finger shining. The other mom had married the other dad, unlike your mom who seemed to hate that.

You noticed the small dark tint to her nails, her nails had started to darken more and more since the first time you had met, maybe she liked black nail polish? Your mom put on some now and then, but your mind couldn't see how she had grown taller at each visit, oh how her actions had turned more and more clingy, you weren't privy to her tearful night with her mate, when she'd hiss and growl as she shredded the body of another child by the alter of Balor, begging him to give her a chance of a sacrificial ceremony, to which the being had agreed to. Her lost child was coming back home once more.

Your gaze looked around as the other mom put a piece of bread for you to munch on in your hands as Hamlet sat on your lap. You noticed Dick, smiling at him as your memories with him flooded your mind. Even if the other Dick was busy speaking with the other Jason but he still waved to you every time you looked at him, as if he could sense your gaze.

You noticed the other Jason waving your way as well "Nice plushie" he commented, making you hold up Hamlet proudly "Ooh very nice!" The other Jason was so much kinder than the Jason you were used to, he would pick you up and tickle you, blowing raspberries on your belly and smile whenever you talked to him, even if you still could see the pain in his eyes he made sure to dote on you, playing with you and Hamlet.

The other Tim was busy eating his food, but he gave you glances, each time smiling as your eyes met, he had insisted on reading you books when you took naps at the other side since the very first time, though it had turned into more a rivalry with him and the other mom and the other Damian to take turns tucking you in.

The other Damian held your hand as he ate his food in silence, gently squeezing your hand every so often, offering his piece of food as if to mimic the other mom "Damian you know my baby gets stomachaches if you give your baby sibling too much dairy" She gently reminded the other Damian who with a loud "Hmph" took his spoon away from your mouth, making you pout. "It's okay sweetie, I'm just looking out for you" She chuckled as she pinched your nose gently. 

The other Duke and Cass were nowhere to be seen, maybe they were on patrol that night, but you missed Cass's warm hugs and Duke's play times as you and him made pillow forts, having the other dad and Damian force siege onto it.

Everyone was happy, you were happy, and blissfully...ignorant. Maybe it was for the better as the other Alfred once had said to the couple "Let the child be oblivious to everything happening, it helps the transition to proceed smoother, stress and anxiety affect a child's choice."

It all had started with the bridge between the parallel worlds becoming thin when you had passed into a door during a restless night, entering a darker version of the world you lived in that was shrouded in perpetual night and winter, where the dark fae resided. You didn't know every human alive had a fae double living their own life on the other side, that was why you didn't know your own double had been long dead at the hands of the other joker, and how much your other family were overjoyed to find you there. And the other Selina, became obsessed with the idea of taking her child back by any means possible.

"It is against the rules" the other Bruce had said as his wife suggested the idea of taking you into the fold of the kin residing on the other side, but she had reminded him "They don't want the poor thing! We can give the sweet angel the love a child like the little one deserves! Look how eagerly the child clings to you! The child needs us, my love, the child needs me!" And that was when the family decided on setting a plan to turn your weekly visits, into a permanent stay.

"Sweetie" the other mom called for you" Everyone quieted down as they realized the moment of truth was going to happen "Do you want to stay with us?" The other mom asked softly as she rubbed your back "I'd love to stay the night Mommy!" You answered, making Alfred smile at your blissful innocence "No sweet baby, I mean do you like to stay with us forever?" The other father chimed in and you frowned as you tried to think. The other mom bit her lip nervously, maybe it was too early for her to suggest it? The couple watched anxiously as you tried to think about your decision "If I agree, I will be with mommy and daddy forever?" "Forever sweetie, and we won't leave you, ever" the other mom cooed, holding your hand as Hamlet fell onto the ground. "We will have lots of fun, mommy will be your best friend, and Daddy and others will play with you nonstop!" You smiled at the thought of it, melting the dark hearts of the fae sitting around the table. "Yes, mommy!" You agreed, and upon that, the mood shifted.

At hearing that the lights turned a greenish hue, as if on cue, and everyone seemed to grow taller and taller as your own body turned heavy, the illusion magic was wearing off and yet the couple was surprised to see you weren't panicking. "I'm sleepy Mommy" you mumbled with a soft yawn, and the female fae cooed softly at hearing that "It's alright sweetling, mommy will make sure to tuck you in" She reached out and picked up Hamlet from the ground, the plushie morphing into a grotesque figure of a dragon in her clawed hands before she tucked the toy in your arms. Your eyelids grew heavier as you sunk into the large seat behind the table, not noticing how everyone stood up from their seats, bowing to the haunting shadow appearing in the room.

A hissing voice spoke in a language you didn't know, and the female fae picked you up, holding you by the back of your knees and shoulders, passing you into the massive bony arms of the God of the dark elves, Balor, who wrapped you in its tangible shadowy form "Do not worry for the babe, rest this night my children, for tomorrow we will rejoice for a fae, reborn."

Your eyes closed as you slipped into a peaceful slumber. Before you found yourself in a bed of flowers, lying beside an angelic man in a lush garden. "Shush my child, sleep" the man soothed you "Birth will be painful" he murmured, gently tapping your chest as he lulled you into rest in your dream before the emergence of another life. "Your parents are waiting for you" he whispered in your ear with a warm voice, and then, your mortal heart stopped in his arms, your soul leaving your body that would soon the body of the many children in the garden of Balor, to land into the carefully preserved one of the sweetling of the other family of yours.

Born anew, in bliss and pain.

It took three days for everyone to notice you were gone, without a trace, nothing was lost but you and your favorite plushie, leaving your parents forever haunted by the memories of the child they took for granted.

Tags: @craulo13 @gaozorous-rex-blog @090909yh @demonprodegy @marise-eternal @jersules @goodsoup19 @candlejuice @worshipcoffee @geniegirlrocks @ghostgangleader @obsessedwithromance @theblacksirenofwinter2004 @ranshin03 @prettyboys247 @kinuraoj @iwannabeapinkaesthetic @legendarylearner18

[lyssakinzzz]

anything with Remmick🫣🫣

maybe readers small town is slowly being killed off by vampires and Remmick is the one that finds her and tells his group not to kill her, cause she belongs to him? 🤯🤯

Oooh? Lowkey. FUCK YEAH.

Why the fuck do I keep on forgetting to post.

Might be the longest thing I've done written...

uhm btw! This is how you imagine remmick during the part where he eats you.

YOURE TRIPPIN IF YOU DONT THINK IM GONNA WRITE IT BASED OF THIS SCENE.

Warnings: Dark remmick if you stand really car and look at it through a microscope while in THICK glasses and head turned sideways. Protective remmick, posseive remmick, SMUT. Oral! (F receiving bc why not?), p in a v!

Wc:1780

It felt like you've been living in this town since the beginning of time. All your major life events happened here. In this small southern town, off the coast of the Mississippi delta. Hell, it was more of a Hamlet then town.

But something was just so off, ever since some Irish man moved into it, you never understood him for it, I mean he could've passed as white and went on to live in a white neighborhood with a beautiful wife and a couple of kids, maybe a dog too, if he felt like it. But no, at first you thought it was some grand plan, the klan wanted to kick y'all out, maybe gentrify it. Or the Whites wanted to live in some cute coastal town. Either way folks weren't having it.

There was something just so off with the fella, it gave you the willies. I mean, he honestly turned into a urban legend, old folks swore they saw him, grandma's felt they were a thing back in the day. Some lady even said he was her baby daddy. But, nothing truly added up. He was just too young. But the thing that really scared folks were that people were missing. Everyone was just vanishing, it was crazy. You'd swear you'd see a sliver of them at night, but nope. No where to be found.

You thought all those years finally caught up with them, everytime people told you to watch out for him. How they'd scare little children into being home by dark, you could really care less. Until, everyone started to go. Your town of 1000 slowly turned into 209. Something was definitely up, it was like he was a parasite. Taking over everyone's minds, body's. He was the devil himself.

So, you were gonna leave. Move up north, maybe stay down here. Marry, have kids. You were of age anyways, it wouldn't be too much of a problem. That's when you heard it. Loud, anxious, desperate banging. It sounded alarming, yet it reeked of a poor soul needing aid. Your aid. You had to let them in, especially with that Lunatic out on the loose. You rushed to the door, and opened it to find the familiar pale man on his knees sobbing.

"Oh, they tryna get me!" He sobbed, as he reached out to your foot, gripping onto it like a lifeline.

"Oh, then done got just near everyone in town, please y/n you gotta help me! Y-y-you gotta save me."

He swallowed, as he looked up at you with those blue, puppy eyes. You exhale, and swallow.

"Come on in..." You whispered as he sobbed getting off your leg and walked into your now packed up home.

"Oh, ya leavin'?" He asked, as he examined the moving boxes.

"Yea, this towns just too damn crazy..." you whispered.

"Would you like something to eat, or?" You asked, innocently. He chuckled and nodded.

"They'res lots of things I'd love to eat, Ma'am" He smiled, you could've sworn his teeth were awfully sharper than normal.

O-oh.

You ignored his recent sentence as you heated up some chicken for him.

"This good, sir?" You asked, placing the plate of chicken and rice down for him.

"Oh, more than good, ma'am..." He answered, before picking up his utensils and eating the freshly heated food.

He groaned as he savored the food.

"Delicious." He smiled as his pace grew faster.

You smiled to yourself at the compliment, as you washed up and was about to go back to packing, then you heard the deep Irish accent, smooth like molasses call out your name.

You hummed in response, as you walked to the round table and sat down.

"You don't wanna sit with me?" He asked, mouth half full with chicken and rice.

You chuckled. "I'll sit with ya." You smiled, softly as you felt the rough texture of the lace on your dining table. You and Remmick got to talking, it was nice. Refreshing, truly. You chuckled at his little joke as he excused himself to wash up his plate. The faint smell of lemony dishsoap filling up your nostrils.

"Y'know I still don't get why yer leavin', miss Y/n." He said, inhaling a bit. Taking a pause for you to register his words. "I mean, I'm gon' miss, that's all...but you shouldn't let some strange myth kick ya' out. I mean ain't it a miracle that ya ain't go missin' with all the others. Maybe, some higher powers protectin' ya. It would make no sense if he just stopped right 'bout now, right?" He argued as you still played with the lace.

"Sir, I've been here since God made Eve from Adam's rib. Even with the protection the kind lords granted me, it'd make sense to just go, huh? Explore, find me a man." You smiled, as you chuckled slightly. The pale werido was going to miss you.

"But, if it makes ya feel better I'm gon' miss seein' you beg like a stray, and yo eyes. Those big, blue eyes." You smiled, as he turned around.

"What about my eyes ya like, sug?" He whispered as he looked into yours deeply. It was almost like he was luring you in. It was silly to think he was.

"T-they're very...very..." you were losing your words. It sounded like your old stutter in primary school, even though you kept trying to say the words fully, it didn't work. At all.

He chuckled. What hoodoo did he put on you?

"Well, since ya leavin' I'd like to say a thing or two about what I like about you, huh?" He asked, as you nodded, lump in your throat.

"Well, I like the way my palm can perfectly fit your neck, and I most definitely like how squeamish you are right now, love." He smiled as he kept looking at you, with those eyes. Those puppy eyes hiding lust, and malicious intent. You inhaled trying to speak again but it felt like he was holding your tongue.

He inched closer and closer to you, a devious smirk appearing on his face. You inhaled, backing up a bit, but your eyes trailed down to his very hard length.

He starred to give you an open mouthed kiss, you moaned into it, as he fell into the chair with you, he bit your lip so hard it bleed, he moaned as he saw the familiar crimson stain your soft, full lips. He sucked the blood from the acute wound.

"I'm sorry, angel. You shouldn't have ran from it huh?" He whispered as he breathed heavily, leaving open mouthed kisses on the nape of your neck, you let out soft moans, then you felt little bites at your neck, he gave you a hickey and looked down, at your flustered and shocked expression.

"So, they all know you belong to me..." He whispered, as his thumb ran down your bottom lip. He picked you up as you wrapped his around him and carried you to your bedroom. He laid you down, and slowly stripped you. You did the same but found some blood on him, your eyes narrow as he just smirked down at you.

"Some people just don't get yer mine, you know. They were tryna hurt you but I took care of it, don't you worry love." He smiled, acting like he just killed a spider before you could see it. Acting like he saved you the last piece of cake at a busy party. He chuckled.

"Dont be scared, I won't let anything happen to you, you know. You're mine. You've always been mine." He smiled, he pushed you back down gently as he took off your tight nightgown.

"You wore this for me, huh? You done knew I was coming. Didn't you?" He whispered, as he slowly slid it off your body.

"You know, i awfully enjoy pink." He chuckled to himself. He left hickeys on your brown soft skin, as he kissed your stomach as his lips lead down to your thighs. He spread your thighs apart and slowly sucked your inner thighs, he moaned as he muttered. "I'm gon' make you feel so good, love. I swear." He said looking into your eyes, still sucking, leaving open mouthed kisses on your inner thighs. You pushed his head down, he moaned the second his tongue made contact with your pussy. His eyes rolling back a bit, fluttering.

"Mmm, you know how much I've been yearnin' for this thing." He whispered as he savored your taste on his tongue.

"I haven't had nothin' this good in years, darlin'' he exclaimed as he kissed around your labia. He treated it like good ice cream he saved up for in town. He was holding back, until he wasn't, that's when he started lapping at your pussy like he hasn't drank water since the 1800s. He left a little bite causing you to whine loudly. Pleasure coursed through you, your body arching as his mouth worked in perfect, desperation. To bring you closer and closer to the edge every minute. You're hands went down into his hair, you gripped each time his tongue pushed deeper, he Rocked his hips into the bare mattress, since everything was packed up of course. He grinded into the mattress going deeper everytime you moaned, or even touched him. You felt heat pool in your stomach as his tongue kept roughly exploring you.

"Fuck..." you whimpered as you gripped his hair harder, pushing him down into your pussy. Your eyes fluttered rolling back as you came on his tongue. You whined as he circled your labia like a shark the second he came up to take off his soaked pants, you shut your legs. Tight. He groaned as he tried to pry open your legs for your overstimulated pussy.

"Come on, I've done killed for you. You ain't never gonna meet a man who's gonna do that for you, huh,girl? The least you can do is let me feel that sweet pussy 'round my cock, huh?" He asked, as you slowly let your legs be pryed open by the starved man. He teased your folds with his cock head. You gasped, slightly as he rubbed it on your clit.

"Mm...that's it, don't run from this dick, baby." He whispered, as he aligned his cock with your needy hole. He slowly slammed into you, you moaned, loudly. Your hands ran up to his hair as he slammed repeatedly. He moaned in your ear, his movements erratic, he kept speeding up, pounding into you.

"Ain't no one gon' handle you like me, huh baby?" He whispered, in between loud, lewd moans. He whimpered as he continued to grow faster.

His eyes rolled back as he had your legs on his shoulders as he thrusted into you, he whined as he was growing closer. You felt him about to grow closer and closer to his finish. That's when he spilt into you.

He stayed in there for a bit too long.

"Gotta make sure, it doesn't all go to waste, love." He said, a casual smile.

[biancasaidstfu]

Even if I was just fan of Bridgerton, not on any ship specifically but believed Luke is with Antonia and was indifferent to it or don’t mind her, I’d still be pissed off that she got better treatment and exposure than members of the actual cast.

Victor and Masali are not background actors, they are main characters in the ensemble cast. And it’s a BAFTA event, hosted by frickin’ Netflix. That’s not a small thing!

It is beyond ridiculous how someone who went as a +1 got solo treatment on the carpet and included in articles about the event when main actors from the show did not get anything close to that.

For those Shakespeare and Hamlet fans out there, as Marcellus said to Horatio, “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. I smell it.”

Yeah the overall reception I saw on that BV twitter post with her full face on it was not good and that was coming from the GA too, not just stan twitter.

[antimony-medusa]

Do you like DEADLINES? Do you like writing to someone else's prompts, staying away from the stuff they said they DID NOT LIKE? Do you like CHALLENGES?

WELL HAVE I GOT THE ACTIVITY TO YOU.

Ever wanted to save someone's day?

I've been helping out with the big @fiabex exchange, and the final deadline passed last night, and there are— a lot of pinch hits from people who didn't make deadline. A lot of people had a bad October. It took three posts to post them all. All of these gifts have to be fulfilled before the exchange opens.

The reason I am here today though is that there's a segment of MCYT on the pinch hit list, and it's always hard to fill MCYT pinch hits cause there are less MCYT people who do exchanges! So here I offer you the breakdown of the mcyt pinch hits:

PH 72 - needs 3k 2k - fandoms are Dream SMP, SMPEarth, The Mandalorian (TV). You can see all of the requests at https://autoao3app.fandom.tools/#/Fic_In_A_Box_2024/user/Kryon CLAIMED

PH 77 - needs 1k - fandoms are Dream SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Hermitcraft SMP, SMPEarth, Hotguy Comics Zine - Various (DFE), Origins SMP. You can see the entire signup at https://autoao3app.fandom.tools/#/Fic_In_A_Box_2024/user/Odaigahara CLAIMED

PH 102 - needs 1k - fandoms are 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Hermitcraft SMP, Good Omens (TV), Hamlet - Shakespeare. You can see the entire signup at https://autoao3app.fandom.tools/#/Fic_In_A_Box_2024/user/adlerthetranscender CLAIMED

PH 103 - needs 1k - fandoms are Dream SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, QSMP | Quackity SMP. You can see the entire signup at https://autoao3app.fandom.tools/#/Fic_In_A_Box_2024/user/amaranthinecanicular CLAIMED

PH 144 - needs 8k - fandoms are QSMP | Quackity SMP. You can see the entire signup at https://autoao3app.fandom.tools/#/Fic_In_A_Box_2024/user/WhyB (I SPECIFICALLY want to draw attention to this one, cause it's only one fandom so that means they won't hold the exchange for this pinch hit to be filled but it being 8k means the person already turned in that much, so if you know anyone who can help with fitpac or animations family— let them know) CLAIMED

If these have gone out for pinch hit, this means that these people have already delivered a gift of at least this amount, and they need an equivalent gift. The due date is November 13th at Midnight EST— can you get a gift written in that time?

But wait, you could maybe write 1k, but not the 3k that PH 72 needs— that's fine! We can take it in small bites. You can just tell the mods that you can take 1k (or 2k, or however much you can take) and then the mods will drop the "needs amount" to 2k, and then we're that much closer to everyone having a gift. If 8 people do 1k, we can get WhyB completely covered!

If you can write a gift fast, adhering to someone's Do Not Want list, about the requested characters or worldbuilding prompts, you might be exactly what we need here. We've got Emduo requests! Animations family! DSMP Fiances! Scarian! Fitpac! Cletho! Boat boys! Preyduo! Watchers prompts!

You can take a pinch hit by either commenting on the dreamwidth post where the PH you want is posted here (tell them the pinch hit you want, an email to reach you, how much you want to take, and the Ao3 account you'll be posting from), or emailing the mods at ficinaboxmod@gmail.com— (tell them the pinch hit you want, how much you want to take, and the Ao3 account you'll be posting from, they already have your email, but check the post to see if the PH has been claimed before you email just to save yourself some time).

And if you can't take it, I'd appreciate it if you'd reblog this, cause if we can get this in front of as many eyes as possible that increases the possibility of someone who says "great british bake off beeduo? yeah I can do that", etc!

[cottonlemonade]

Accidental Confession

word count: 1228 || avg. reading time: 5 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Nishinoya x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: spoilers

request: watching Goosebumps, having caramel popcorn while dressed as a pirate (accidental confession) with Noya || fluffy, accidental confession with Noya

Noya leaned closer to the bowl and took a deep, happy sniff of the soup. It was pouring outside and originally he wanted to meet a few new friends to go fishing again but as adventurous as he was, he didn’t feel like catching a cold along with the fish. So, he resigned himself to sitting in the small restaurant he found a few days ago, enjoying a slow afternoon with you and his latest travel companion, Saruta. The little seaside town he had settled in for the time being was a narrow one like someone had pushed a bunch of houses as close to the shore as possible to save space. No building was higher than two stories, a stark contrast to the many impressive metropoles he had seen during his world tour so far. He usually never spent more than a week in one place. He wanted to see as much as possible after all before his sense of duty - as well as his parents - called him back to Japan. But here, in this tiny hamlet with nothing to do after 6 p.m., Noya stayed for almost a whole month now. And all because he met you the minute he stepped off the ferry. Much like his high school self he definitely still believed in love at first sight, however, the more he got to know you, the quicker he realized that none of what he had ever experienced with anyone in Miyagi came even close to how he felt about you.

You were daring and witty, strong and beautiful and if he could have proposed to you on that first night he would have. But if he learned anything in school that stuck it was that his previous approaches to flirting and dating weren’t exactly well-received and often described as “coming on too strong”. And since he didn’t want to mess up his chances under any circumstances, he resigned himself to pining and made a pact with himself instead. To pad his funds a bit he had joined some oyster shuckers and decided that once he found a pearl he’d confess. Unfortunately, he grossly overestimated how long it would take him to find one and chickened out immediately when a tiny pinkish thing rolled into his palm on the second day. Soon enough he carried around a small handful of them in an empty TicTac container. They weren’t worth much, all being roughly the size and shape of a corn of sushi rice but a local girl who was selling self-made jewelry turned them into a necklace in exchange for him manning her stall while she went to grab lunch.

You excused yourself to the bathroom, leaving the two young men behind. Noya already knew what was coming before his friend even started.

“Hope you realize, I feel myself age while I‘m waiting for you to make a move.“, Saruta said.

“I‘ll do it soon.“, Noya replied automatically as he looked at his almost empty bowl, considering ordering seconds.

The other raised a highly doubtful brow, “Now, where have I heard this before? Oh yeah. You, last week. Come on, it‘s not that deep. If she likes you back, great, if not, you just move on and will forget about her in no time.“

Noya glared at him, making Saruta raise his hands in defense, “Look, you have the necklace ready, it‘s her birthday tomorrow, probably some stars are aligning as well, just do it.“

“Right, I meant to ask you about something.” Noya reached into his pocket and pulled out a heavily crumpled piece of paper.

“What’s that?”

His friend smoothed out the note and skimmed the short text.

“Well, what does it look like?”

“Birthday wishes - but I’m not seeing any kind of confession here.”

Noya ignored him.

“Could you translate it for me?”

“Why? She knows Japanese.”

“I know, but I wanna do it in her native language and you’re the only one I can ask.”

“Have you heard of the internet?”, Saruta asked sarcastically, pushing the paper back across the table.

Noya waved him off. “I don’t trust online translations to make it sound natural. Plus, no program is gonna correct my pronunciation, hm?” He batted his eyes pleadingly and with pointed fingers gently slid the note to Saruta once again.

“Fine. But you’re paying for dessert.”

In all his time at school, Noya had never studied as hard as he did that night. Huddled together in the cramped hostel room they shared with 10 other guys, Noya and Saruta went through the note again and again until the latter threatened to smother Noya with a pillow if he repeated the words in his presence one more time.

The following morning the former libero made sure to dress in his best (aka cleanest) clothes and hurried to meet you outside at the pier as previously agreed.

His steps slowed when he spotted your chubby silhouette waiting. The morning air was icy even without much wind. Seagulls cawed sleepily as they patrolled the shore. The sun was just beginning to rise, coloring the horizon in tones of lavender and gold.

Noya reached into his jacket to double-check that the necklace and cheat sheet for his birthday wishes were in place.

“Y/n!”, he called and you turned around, giving him the most arresting smile.

“Yuu! Not gonna lie, I thought you overslept.”

“Not today.”, he laughed nervously and joined you at the railing that separated the street from the beach.

“I wasn’t sure why you wanted to meet so early but…”, you pointed towards the sun steadily climbing over the calm waves, “this is gorgeous.”

“Yeah…”, he said, most definitely not paying attention to the sunrise in the slightest.

When you caught him staring, he cleared his throat and pulled the little tule bag containing the necklace from his pocket. He held it out to you.

“For you.”, he added unnecessarily.

“Oh, thank you so much! You didn’t have to get me anything.”, you beamed at him and the cold October morning suddenly felt a whole lot warmer.

He took a deep breath and although stumbling over a few words here and there he recited his short speech.

“Happy birthday! I need you to know that from the moment I saw you, I knew I was in love. I can’t stop thinking about you and if you’ll have me, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

Your jaw dropped, then you began to blush and finally you clutched his gift to your heart when he finished.

“I really like you, too!”, you replied in Japanese. Noya stiffened and his heart pounded in his ears.

“You what?”

“I really like you, too!”, you said again, a little quieter but still carrying the same enthusiasm, “And I’d love to be with you.”

The realization dawned in time with the sun. He didn’t know whether to kill Saruta or kiss him. It should have been obvious from that smile he gave him before bed.

With trembling fingers, he helped you put on the necklace, the different hues of the pearls shimmering in the golden gray morning light.

You hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and closed the gap between you for your first kiss.

In every photo he took on his travels from this day on you were by his side, necklace and all.

a/n: That necklace 100% made an appearance on your wedding photo, too.

request for @mikayla1117

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to finally write for him! Also thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 I hope you enjoyed it!

for requests see here

[delta-lethonomia]

again, browsing through the Szarr palace (I'm sorry Astarion, I actually really like all the "tasteless" art lol), may I present to you:

potentially, Amanita?

I mention this purely because she looks a bit like Cazador, young, and the description of looking "attentive, or ready to voice some secret" makes me think of Amanita's writings in the attic. There's a fair amount of generic 16th century old white male aristocrat paintings, so it could very well be coincidence, but the paintings are picked for a reason and very much convey a certain ~vibe~. Off the top of my head (sorry didn't take more screenshots, not making a huge art post):

lots of skulls and flowers, dichotomy of life and death. However, cut flowers die quickly - they are already dying too

goat-headed women (the description notes "someone is being condemned, but who?" and for some reason I want to tie this to Donella)

Two sisters dancing, one a ballerina and the other her twin who died in the crib and has a skull face, depicted as a full grown woman as well (dance of life and death? reaching potential (ballerina) vs what could have been?) ugh I could have done so much with this if only I'd plotted out my fic way earlier!!!!

The Lay of Larethian (dark haired woman as Larethian instead of male golden haired elf as usual - what is up with that, Caz????) Other partner is just a faceless pale body, laying almost like a corpse

A few pastoral landscapes that "seem as if they're moving, even though nothing is changing" and are "unsettling"? Again, I'm thinking, is the point decay? Callback to the Szarr's having orchards, and presumably wealth through farmland? A slowly-rotting homestead, now inaccessible due to the nature of vampire territoriality and the sun?

There's also the GIANT FALL OF ELTUREL painting but that's in a couple of places so yeah. Still, a deal with the devil lead to the descent into the hells, hmm

A hamlet reference (lol) "Here the famous elven poet unveils the first review for his theatrical product 'Porklet', about a vacillating man who can't bloody make up his bloody mind to just bloody kill his evil uncle (or so spoke the review)." agreed, Caz, solve your problems with murder. Relatable, 10/10, I 100% believe he found this funny

anyway this all matches with some old Caz thoughts I had so pretty gratified with that, but now I'm convinced he's definitely a boob man/enjoys a low neckline and heaving bosom as any self-respecting vampire would, plus Astarion and white hair, obviously

Anyway, more Szarr mansion anecdotes:

Dufay is actually a spawn as well? He knows the other spawn will be sacrificed, but he's not human like I thought. He IS a spawn, he's just a "manage the household" spawn, not a "lure victims" spawn. He also has access to Cazador's office, as he updates Caz's "invited guests" party planner and keeps track of the.... extended stay... guests as well. Dufay knows the 7 spawn will be killed - he very possibly might know about the 7000 - that's why he takes the poison - his goal is to avoid being sacrificed and he also thinks Cazador might die for some reason??? He's hoping to inherit the house afterwards.

Dufay also mouths off at Godey which implies he's higher on the hierarchy, and presumably he doesn't get sent to the kennels. Godey writes him a note in which he says "please", and Dufay basically calls him lazy and to get his shit together. So, presumably, I think Dufay doesn't get tortured. He seems to have a great deal of freedom. He's also a smug piece of shit, because not only does he forget the right potion in his desk, he deliberately doesn't tell his gf because he thinks she's too dumb and will reveal his deception.

so, two hypothesis: Either Dufay was Chamberlain while mortal and very good at it, so Cazador then turned him into a spawn, but he's so removed from the others Astarion doesn't think about him potentially being sacrificed bc he's clearly just different, or Dufay is a spawn created by someone else (Donella? Vellioth? another Szarr?) and he got to stick around because he's too useful to get rid of. Very "family accountant" vibes. I can't imagine Cazador keeping anyone around who knew him when he was a spawn, so I wonder if he inherited Dufay after (maybe?) murdering a family member.

Although Astarion has no memory of the ballroom door being closed, it must be on occasion, as Godey has the dictionary and the ring (usually). His note to Dufay is that he lost the dictionary, which is Leon's doing, as he stole the book so Victoria could study the words. Regular servants do learn the passphrases to interact with it which is why Dufay is pissed. Astarion (and other spawn) however were banned from learning it.

It's not just Kozakuran. It's archaic Kozakuran, because Caz (again) is a dramatic bitch. Yes he's 300ish, maybe older, but that's not old enough for a language to be archaic, at least not in a world where elves/wizards/druids etc live to be 750+. He's just a nerd. IRL he'd be the guy whose passwords/wifi name would be in Latin.

Servant etiquette is don't look at Caz, don't speak to Caz, don't be lazy and make yourself busy (basically be an anxious wreck, the mortal servants certainly are), and NO WHISTLING. lol

For all that Caz gives clean freak vibes his rugs are a mess. They're like.... cloth floor runners? and they are crumpled. Get it together, geeze. why aren't your servants ironing the floor runners Caz this is pathetic

although the servants are a wreck they don't say what exactly "must be perfect"? I'm very curious what Cazador's plans were post-Ascension. Take over Baldur's Gate, yes, but..... how? You and what army babe

Also there are actual bats everywhere. why???? Half the servants just get to scrub bat guano all day I guess wtf

because of said bats and werewolves and the ridiculous amount of bleach they apparently have to order I cannot accept Caz as a clean freak. Instead, he's just a freak who indulges in vices on occasion and bullies the staff to make them work twice as hard. It's giving "cat knocks your drink to the floor just to fuck with you" vibes.

fixation on the number 17 (????) also Victoria's note is in the front room, so she's not confined to the favored spawn room and must have spent at least one year living in the spawn dormitories as well. Violet fantasizes about eating her, Dalyria succeeded. Low key love the fact that it's the women who want to kill the kid. So yes, Astarion must know who Victoria is, though it might have been a while and she might have aged/doubled in size since he was forced to interact with her.

They cut the "speak to dead" lines on Victoria's corpse which makes me think she's actually dead and not smuggled out like Leon intended. That does make more sense, but still, sad :(

Cazador told Sebastian that he was "bound to his Ascension" so again, we confirm Caz enjoys a little villain monologue even though Sebastian doesn't even realize he's a vampire spawn now.

Speak to Caz without Astarion and he goes from shouting to a sweet "I trust we understand each other" (◕ᴗ◕✿) in an instant lol he is, indeed, a dramatic bitch. I 10000% believe Astarion tuned him out all the time once he started shouting, it's just inevitable

Sebastian knows the staff controls things and that Caz never sets it down, so he has seen Caz walk by and open/close doors etc. Caz never feeds them, but there are rats scurrying about that they could theoretically catch, though Chessa says rat tastes like "moldy bread"

The caged spawn are invulnerable to damage description says "Cazador will not let this spawn die." I assume this means vampire lords can prevent their spawn from dying no matter what if they care enough to do so, which is how he still gets a hold of Astarion's soul for the Ascension even if you staked him or the Gur got him. He's just not gonna make him "invulnerable to damage," which arguably could just be hand-waved away as a necessary game mechanic. Conversely, Dufay and any of the 6 spawn can die, so

anyway tumblr was spazzing out while I was typing this so forgive any weird spelling errors it kept moving my curser for no damned reason smh

[saiintvalentiine]

Notes: this is basically a bit of writing practice. its only dialogue, and i tried to convey as much possible within that limitation. i had fun! so here it is. unedited as usual. both dividers are from here

Summary: fickle conversations between the director and wifies, post mortem.

Word count: 645

You were always the most obnoxious person to direct.

"I'm not apologizing for that."

I do not expect you to. You are unrepentant.

"...Down there. That's the world?"

Yes.

"And I can see it?"

Obviously.

"Why?"

Would you rather not be able to see anything at all?

"No!"

Then do not question it.

"He forgave Ash."

Very interesting.

"Why would he do that?"

Shouldn't you know? Is it not your constant nagging that changed him?

"Has he really changed?"

I am not omniscient like that.

"Oh."

If I had to guess, and I will have to guess to successfully orchestrate this, I would say no. He hasn't really changed. He's shocked with his grief.

"Shocked with his grief."

Yes.

My, you even look like Ophelia.

"There's no river to lay in."

No, not the Millais. The Waterhouse.

"That's dumb. I didn't kill myself."

Didn't you?

"Am I the only one here?"

Yes. You and I alone.

"Oh. Why?"

Because you have the will to withstand it.

"Why do all this?"

It is fun.

"I guess."

You should understand the feeling of a game played well.

"I— why would I know that?"

I am not omniscient but I know many things. That is what made you so difficult. You and your game strategies.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Oh, I suppose not.

"So... you know other things, right?"

Many other things.

"Does that mean you have a favorite book or something?"

Picking a favorite is like choosing a child to save in a fire.

"It's— there's no way it's that drastic."

I am very fond of Hamlet lately.

"The Ophelia comment should've given that away."

Yes. You are smart. You would have understood eventually.

"If this is a game, then who are you playing against?"

It's like a game, not quite a game.

"What is it then?"

Maybe a story is more apt.

"This story sucks."

You are all very bad characters. Very unruly.

"Are you defending yourself?!"

I am merely stating facts.

"Mystery god who can't even corral it's own characters. Yeah. This sucks."

Your lot call me the director. Maybe it is more like a movie, then. Characters played by actors who think they know better than the director.

"Well we do! We do know better! It's our lives!"

Bold words from a man living on borrowed time.

"..."

You are thinking of how you can communicate with them.

"How can you even tell!"

It is obvious.

"Of course that's what I'm thinking about. I— I can see everything up here. The board, it's so clear."

Listen to me close child: divinity is no easy hand to take. That is why this world has no seers, orators, hearers. It is to heavy a burden to bear.

"I could bear it."

Divinity is like marriage. Hand in unlovable hand. And you may only ever marry once. Do you understand?

"..."

You understand.

"... I'd like to go back sometime anyway."

I have no plans to allow such a thing. At least, not yet.

"Ugh."

Unless, of course, you allow me to puppeteer you.

"No."

Worth a shot.

"... Was that what you were doing with Ash?"

No. Ash wanted power. As long as he adhered to my machinations, he'd have power.

"Pretty good deal for him I guess."

You, however, cannot have what you want. So my only offer is puppeteering.

"No thanks."

Suit yourself.

You are very interesting.

"That's not comforting to hear."

You are very empty, yet difficult to control.

"Wh— huh?"

Very little soul. Space aplenty. And yet you are so resistant.

"I don't even know what to say to that."

Silence is an apt choice.

"Right."

"Do you plan for anything to ever get better down there?"

Only if the audience cheers for it. Only if it fancies my humor.

"Ah."

Losing hope?

"No. No. Never."

Hm. Yes, very interesting indeed.