#yeah it’ll prob be back but it’ll never be the same

[perfectmanisperfect]

hello. since tiktok just got officially banned here i am. jk i never left but here i am as it was always prophesied only tumblr lasts

[heavenlyraindrops]

♱ Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~Chapter Twenty Six ~FINALE ♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Chapter Twenty Six Warnings: profanity How to find the other chapters in my pinned post.

♱Where the purest soul in Heaven falls for the Devil♱

[Chapter Twenty Six]

“[name]! Dad!” Charlie adjusted her bow, as you and Lucifer appeared in the hotel lobby. You cleared your throat, smiling nervously as she approached. 

“Charlie,” Lucifer said smoothly. He looked at you. “This is [name]. You’ve met.”

“Yes.” Charlie looked at you apologetically. “Look, I’m so sorry for what Alastor did. I don’t really know-“ she waved her hands around, “-the basics of the… situation, but I am sorry.”

“Whatever he did isn’t yours to apologize for,” you reassured her, and she smiled weakly. 

“Yes, well…” Lucifer looked around, face expressionless. “Where is he, exactly?”

Charlie laughed nervously. “Dad…”

“I’m just asking.”

“Don’t do anything, please?”

He didn’t say anything.

“Look, Alastor is still useful to the hotel! And… you know how he is.” She looked at you. “I mean, how was he meant to know- I mean, he always does this, right? He likes to stir up drama.”

You frowned. She was making sense.

Alastor didn’t know of anything prior to your fall. He couldn’t have. All he saw was a frazzled girl to take advantage of and pit against his rival. 

“This doesn’t mean you should forgive him,” Charlie said quickly. “It’s just, this hotel is about second chances. Consider this his second chance?”

“Redemption was his second chance,” you said stiffly, crossing your arms. Charlie looked dejected, but Lucifer cut in quickly.

“I won’t try and hurt him, Apple Pie.”

You both exchanged a look. 

You went over to the couch, where Angel Dust was strewn out, his limbs draped over the sides as he scrolled on his phone. He looked up at you. 

“Hey.” He sat up quickly. “[name].”

You gave him a wan smile, sitting down. “It’s been a while, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that long.” He shuffled up the couch, drawing up his legs to make more space. “Sure does feel like a while, though.”

You hummed in agreement. “Say, where’s Alastor?”

Angel sat up straighter. “I betcha he’ll be out in a minute. Still sulking from that ass-kickin’ ya gave him.”

You both fell silent, and your phone pinged. You pulled it out to see Velvette’s number on your screen, a photo attached. You clicked on it. 

A selfie, her lips pushed together in a pout. In the background, Valentino was screaming at a very fed-up looking Vox.

The caption read: he got cancer in his balls. u ok now? xoxo 

A small laugh bubbled last your lips as you typed out your answer:

I’m fine now. Is that even possible with demons?

Her reply came immediately. idk. i dont think it’ll kill him tho :( he’ll prob just live w it forever. glad ur ok babes

“Angel,” you said, straightening up. He looked at you expectantly. “Valentino has testicular cancer.”

His lips stretched into a grin. “Seriously? Like, cancer in his dick?”

You snorted. “Yeah.”

You both burst into a fit of laughter, so much so that you didn’t notice when a static buzzing filled the air. You froze, looking up. 

“Alastor,” Angel said flatly.

Alastor smiled, although it was shaky, upon seeing you. “[name]!” He laughed, taking a sudden step back as you stood up, clenching your fists. Your nails cut into your palms. “What a pleasant surprise. I’m glad you’re alright after that unnecessary scuffle outside.”

“You…” your lip curled. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

You vaguely registered Charlie shouting desperately: “[name], no!” As you lunged towards him, forcing him down, hands closing around his neck. 

-

“You never fixed the window,” you remarked.

Lucifer looked at you, fondness still written all over his features as you picked your way around the empty room, careful not to step on any glass pieces. “It’s just the same,” you murmured. “This room.”

He stepped towards you, slipping his hand around your waist. “It is.”

It had been a week since you’d both left the hotel, no explanation given to any of the residents, instead replaced with an open, rather violent altercation with Alastor in the lobby. Charlie was certain Alastor had made a mistake, in his lust for “entertainment”, and hadn’t known the gravity of the situation. She was certain that he deserved a second chance. 

Despite all this, you’d still given him a beating that would keep him battered for at least a week. And on his toes around you for the rest of his afterlife. 

The light from the city filtered in, glinting off of the jagged remnants of the window pane, and bathed you and Lucifer both in red light. 

He turned to you. “[name].” You looked at him.

He sank down to one knee.

You stumbled back, hands flying to your mouth. “L-luci…”

“[name], me and you… we’ve known each other for so long. There’s been ups and downs- a lot of downs-“

You could feel tears springing to your eyes.

“But in the end, we’re still together.” He took in a deep breath. “Sometimes I was worried that it wasn’t meant to be- we were too far apart, too many bad things were happening to you, just because you were with me, but now…” 

He pulled out a small box.

“I know that’s wrong.”

A small golden ring glinted in the red light.

“[name], will you marry me?”

You stared at him in shock, knees going weak. “Yes. Oh my- yes!” 

He laughed, exhilarated and relieved as he stood up again to sweep you up in an embrace. You buried your face in his shoulder. “I love you,” he murmured against your skin. You pulled away, tears now freely streaking down your face as you looked at him. 

“I love you too,” you replied, and he took your hand, sliding the ring on. It fit perfectly. 

He grasped both your hands in his, looking at you, eyes brimming with adoration. You leaned over, pressing your lips against his. 

He let out a surprised noise, hands snaking around your waist as you cupped his cheek, both your lips moving together. You kissed him until you couldn’t breathe, until you pulled away, panting slightly. 

“I love you,” he repeated, as if saying it once wasn’t enough. You gave him a tearstained smile. 

“I love you too.”

-end-

[physics-of-one-piece]

WIP Tag Game

Thank you so much for the tag @fanaticsnail 💕🫶🏻❤️ I can’t wait for Rockier Port Incident and some pollen fics and so much Kid Pirates you’re writing, love it.

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

(Me, opening my folder)

Haahaha, fuuuuuck

Okay, so let’s focus on the active WIPs that I am working on daily. All of them are Doflamingo x Reader in some form. I have only one fully Corazon x Reader but you can also ask regarding that one. P.S. NSFW usually it isn't thaaat smutty but just Doffy's inner thoughts are horny as hell in a lot of these and there are dark/adult themes throughout so... Yeah! If there is a bit of smut I'll put it as 🌶️, if the fic is smut-only 🌶️🌶️🌶️)

I’ll build castles for you, my love (look at me, not my brother) - Doflamingo x Rosinante's Wife! Reader (and some Past Rosinante) (multi-chap, NSFW, 🌶️)

Merlot & Primroses - North Blue Doflamingo x Rosinante's Wife!Reader, post Rosinante's death (multi-chap, NSFW, 🌶️)

close your eyes (it’ll all be over soon) - Doflamingo x Rosinante’s Wife!Reader (NSFW one-shot 🌶️🌶️🌶️ set in Merlot & Primroses where North Blue Doflamingo treats you differently when he meets you aka when you thought it can’t be more fucked up and dark, Doflamingo laughs in your face)

resemblance - Doflamingo x Rosinante’s Wife!Reader (NSFW one-shot, 🌶️🌶️🌶️)

marigolds - Marineford! Doflamingo (my love aka I squeal when I see him, I love him and his orange pants and his half buttoned shirt, and the fact he is fully wearing his coat and looks like a pink pom pom, "Doflamingo, I choose you!🦩" sir are you free on Saturday 😳😳😳) x Rosinante's Wife! Reader (SFW, oneshot)

As you can see, the Rosinante's Wife!Reader trope has a real hold on me. I got the idea in August and am still writing about it. Idk what it is about it. Prob cus the trope of Doffy longing after Cora's wife is so very Doffy of him? Now... For...

Celestial Dragon Doflamingo Fics 🤍

There are a few main ones. To know, Reader is not a Celestial Dragon in any of these stories.

Celestial Dragon Doffy x Rosinante’s Wife!Reader (NSFW multi-chap, 🌶️)

everything the world can offer - Returned to Mariejois Celestial Doflamingo x Civilian!Reader (NSFW, one-shot or multi-chap, tbd, 🌶️)

your saint - Returned to Mariejois Celestial Doflamingo x Doflamingo’s Wife! Reader (NSFW, one-shot, 🌶️🌶️🌶️)

butterflies and daffodils - Mariejois Raised Celestial Doflamingo x Civilian!Reader (NSFW, one-shot)

For these other ones, I’m mostly struggling with deciding how Reader reacts to Celestial Dragon! Doffy, depending on their history or lack of it, and it also depends whether this is Never Left Mariejois Doffy or Came Back and was Accepted Back Celestial Doffy. Those two are vastly different 🤣 I want to write a naive Reader but also Reader who is aware enough of how CRAZY Celestial Dragons are but then you get to that fear/dread factor once more and deciding how much of that to describe bcs what if they’re childhood friends, would that fear factor burst its head out regardless of their history? Would Reader just be appeasing Doffy while also still letting her guard down and just interacting with him like nothing’s changed?

(Sighs) I am overthinking myb a bit too much? Who knows...

Also, making this tag game for artists, too, same rules apply if the artists are comfortable with sharing their art wips as in the title of the art wip they’re working on!

Tagging @moonbaby26 @daydreamer-in-training @ohnomyhooves @skullfacedlady @tuquidflamingo @veroinfaciem @magnoliandew @wrennyx @darklordofcutlets @sugarpsalms @allmightskitten @froggiewrites @queenmimi2817 @ladycrocy @saracrossing02

[elliereject]

stupid bitch .1

* you and ellie have been friends for years but you only recently discovered that the way you liked her was more than just friendly. unfortunately, she’s already in a relationship with a toxic girl who (surprise!) does not like you. as their relationship starts to sour, you’re the one ellie always goes to for comfort and you oblige until you can no longer take the heartache and pain you’re feeling which causes you to finally confess…blurring the already thin line between yours and ellie’s ‘friendship’.

* infidelity, oblivious!ellie, meanish!ellie, pining, anxious thoughts

* first fic, based on girl in reds Stupid Bitch bc wow does that song make me scream. if this gets any traction at all ill post pt 2 and a couple others I have in the works :) feedback is appreciated, pls enjoy and interact!!

*mdni

*wc - 4k

part .2 here

You had a love hate relationship with Ellie.

Well, it was mostly love…who were you kidding, it was all love.

She’s been your best friend for years and you were so fucking glad she was apart of your life. She’d been there for you during the worst parts like when your parents didn’t speak to you for a month after you came out and the best parts like when you got accepted into your dream school.

Every great memory in your life, Ellie was there. She was someone you could rely on and who you knew would stick by you even when she saw the worst parts of you and you hoped she knew you would do the same for her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Of course, it wasn’t until she started dating her that you realized your true feelings.

“I’m telling you! She’s just—she’s perfect!” Ellie gushed, your stuffed animal being squeezed to death between her lean arms.

You forced a smile onto your face, a sour feeling thrashed in your gut. “I’m happy for you, glad you guys are hitting it off.”

“We’re more than hitting it off, we’re like, on the exact same wavelength..did you know she does her own tattoos? How fucking cool is that?”

You turned back around in the chair at your desk, trying to busy yourself with the schoolwork you were supposed to be doing and rolling your eyes at her rambling. The two had been seeing eachother for the last month and she did nothing but talk about her.

“Yeah I did know because you’ve told me a thousand fucking times..” You mumbled.

“Hm?” She asked, “Sorry, Cat just sent me the funniest meme.”

She spun your chair back around to show you the meme on a cracked screen and when you saw it you wanted to take her phone and toss it out the window.

“I sent you that like 4 weeks ago.” You laughed dryly.

“Oh, for real?” She mumbled, already pulling her phone back to continue texting Cat.

You rolled your eyes again, huffing when you picked up your phone to text Jesse. He was the only one who knew about your newly discovered crush on Ellie, other than her, you considered him your closest friend and he had comforted you when you came to his dorm, eyes filled with tears and guilt after you told him that you were in fact in love with your best friend.

im going to go fucking insane.

oh brother, what did she do this time?

she won’t stop fucking talking about her ☹️ she litrly just showed me a meme cat sent her that i SENT HER WEEKS AGO and she didn’t even remember

you know ellie tho she prob just forgor fr

jesse i Litrly cant do this anymore. I’m going to rip out my air and throw my laptop at the wall.

Rip out your air? How would that work, like a breathing machine??

Die

💪💗 sorry y/n im sure it’ll get better

😐 when?

…

Before you could see his response you dropped your phone in your lap when you felt Ellie tap your shoulder, “What?”

“Said I’m gonna go piss.”

“Oh, okay.”

She got up from your bed and when she left, her phone was still there.

You shouldn’t. It’s a complete and utter violation of her privacy. If she caught you, she’d probably never talk to you again…

But you knew her password, and it was right there and you were so damn curious.

Your hands moved before you could rethink and suddenly her phone was in your hand and your eyes were skimming over her messages.

You clicked on the thread with Cat and felt your heart seize when you read what she was saved as: my girl ♥️

Despite the searing pain you felt pang through you like a hot knife, you read on.

i can’t wait to cu tonight ;))

same, u can finally get started on my tattoo!

mhm 😇 can’t you come over a little esrlier? im so bored T_T

cant :( yk im hanging out with ★ rn

yeahhhh but she’d understand you’d wanna hangout w ur gf right?? she said she was happy we started dating so she can’t get upset

what the fuck?

yeah ig but irs been a while since I last saw her

plssss els :(( just wanna hold u rn

There was a little space between this message and the next, you figured it been when you and Ellie got caught up in a conversation about your mutual hate for one of your profs.

if u rlly don’t wanna see me jus say that.

yk that’s not true id love to see u rn

then COME, if she gets upset that’s not ur problem..she has to understand you can’t spend all your time with her

What the fuck was this bitch even talking about? She was the one trying to lock Ellie up. You were about to scroll down to see what Ellie had said but you heard footsteps and threw her phone back on your bed before pretending to be stuck on a practice question.

Ellie picked up her phone and you were so scared she’d notice you were on it you thought your heart was going to pop out of your chest and fall onto your desk.

“Hey..”

Dread filtered through your body. She knows, she knows and she’s going to confront you and she’s going to storm out and you’re going to lose your best friend and—

“I think I’m gonna head out, seems like you got a lot of work to do.”

You dropped your pencil and turned to look up at her, “Are you sure? I mean we could go somewhere if you want.” You didn’t want her to leave, you wanted her to stay in your dorm with you forever.

“No.” She said quickly, backing up “It’s fine, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay I’ll see you—“

She walked out your door, letting it close.

“Later.”

—★

It was a freezing December night the first time Ellie came to you, eyes ridden with tears over a fight with Cat.

Usually, it was her calling you up to have you come over and comfort her because Cat was ‘acting weird’ and ‘being mean’. But something serious must have happened for her to be here.

A few weeks had passed since that enlightening time at your dorm where she had practically flown out of your room to go see Cat. During the following weeks, the two of you had barely talked let alone seen eachother and when you did it was almost always about Cat. You understood that you were both busy with school and she was busy with her girlfriend and you didn’t know whether it was Cat or Ellie that had forced the two of you’s separation or if it was your own subconscious mind trying to protect you from getting hurt. Either way, you missed her dearly.

She was pounding hard on your door, and when you opened it she immediately rubbed her red rimmed eyes. She lived in the other dorm building and judging from her appearance you imagined she ran here as quick as she could; Snowflakes adorned her hair and eyelashes and her nose was red from the cold, she had an old green hoodie on and plaid pyjama pants. Even on the verge of tears she was still so unbelievably gorgeous.

“Ellie, it’s like 3AM..” You said groggily, you knew she had trouble sleeping but she usually texted you if she needed a distraction.

“I know just, please I need to talk to someone. And Dina’s with Jesse and Cat fucking—” She paused, sniffling.

You sighed, stepping to the side so she could come in and you could close the door that was currently blowing in cold air from the freezing hallway.

“What happened?”

“It’s Cat.”

Of fucking course. Fury engulfed you, Ellie wasn’t one to cry often or even come close to it so Cat must’ve done something pretty fucked up.

“She was being so distant and I don’t even fucking know what I did and then some fucker I don’t even know just sent me this,”

She shoved her phone in your face and the image made even more anger surge throughout you. It was blurry but you could still make out two figures, one with short black hair—Cat, and another unrecognizable. Cat had her arms locked around the mysterious girls neck and the two were not just kissing but full on frenching. You wanted to throw insults so bad but Ellie was upset and that was more important than dissing her girlfriend.

“Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry.” you said softly, pulling her in for a hug.

She sniffled and wiped her nose, “Yeah, thanks.”

“So, are you two..” you trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know, maybe. I sent her a text about the picture and told her to call me but she hasn’t answered.” Ellie said, pulling away.

“Ellie are you serious?” You questioned, looking into her green eyes. “She fucking cheated.”

Ellie looked to the side, avoiding your scrutinizing gaze.

“There could be more to the story.”

You scoffed, “Looks pretty straightforward to me, she went to party, made out with another girl and is completely ignoring you.”

Her jade eyes scanned your face before she shook her head, “You don’t like her.”

No shit you don’t like her.

“That’s not true.” You lied.

“Yes it fucking is! at first I thought I was overthinking it but whenever I bring her up you get this…this look on your face.” She accused.

“What look? This i—“

“That look!” She cut you off, pointing a long finger in your face. “Like..like you’re about cry or blow up or something.”

“I—“ Before you could defend yourself Ellie’s phone rang, the two of immediately knowing who it was. Ellie cleared her throat and answered before the second ring even started.

“Babe?” She croaked out and you winced, both at the nickname and the pain in her voice. You couldn’t listen to this.

“I think..you should go.” You said quietly, walking toward your door to open it for her.

Her eyes flashed to your face before she nodded and walked out, phone still close to her ear.

That night as you crawled back into your bed and warm tears hit your pillow you never wanted to rip out your heart more because the love you had for her was still there, never wavering and consuming you entirely even though you knew it would never be requited.

— ★

It’d been weeks since that night and since you’d talked to Ellie. You didn’t mean for the gap to stretch this long, you decided to give her some space after your…argument? And then you had finals, and then winter break where you went back home to visit old friends and reluctantly, your parents.

You came back two days before classes started up again so you could ease back into your routine. In the last few weeks you tried your hardest to push thoughts of Ellie out of your mind but you cared for her too much to completely disregard her and bits and pieces slipped through the guards you had put up.

You layed on your dorm bed, sighing as you stared at Ellie’s Instagram.

Back together, you thought.

Over the course of Cat and Ellie’s relationship, you’d learned how to tell when they were ‘on a break’ and when they were together just from her Instagram.

When they were together, her profile picture was the two of them, Cat pressing her lips against Ellie’s cheek and Ellie with her eyes scrunched closed, a joyful look on her face. Ellie also had a highlight labled with nothing but a cat emoji as well as a few random posts of them doing more random shit.

When they were ‘on a break’; Ellie’s profile picture was the default one and she had no highlights, and a singular picture posted; her and Joel after her highschool graduation. After Ellie saw the picture of Cat at that party it’d been like that for two and a half weeks and you silently hoped it’d stay that way forever.

Now, her profile picture was the two of them looking happier than ever and you couldn’t help but feel mocked while you moped miserably in your cold dorm alone, your only comfort being the stuffed animal that you held close to your chest.

You missed her, desperately.

You couldn’t do this anymore, you had to have her in your life even if it wasn’t the way you wanted. You sat up, brushing the stray tears from your face you didn’t know had fallen. Determination coursed through you, you were going to break the silence first.

Ellie was getting back tomorrow so you arranged a plan, you’d pick up a pepperoni pizza from her favourite diner—pizza was her favourite food and you’d called her basic when she first told you, which she replied “Anybody who says they don’t like pizza or pizza is basic are trying too hard to be different, pizza is the only perfect thing in the world.” and you shoved her arm playfully telling her to just eat the freaking pizza— the memory made your heart hurt but you swallowed the feeling.

Then, you’d pick up both yours and her favourite snacks from the 7/11 near your campus along with a few sodas.

And finally, the main item of your grand scheme, stopping by the blu-ray store to pick up the first Jurassic Park, the two of you could always watch it on Netflix but she preferred having the physical thing, stating it felt more ‘authentic.’

It was going to be the perfect night, and by the end of it, it would be like the entire last month and couple weeks never happened. The two of you would be back to normal.

— ★

You’d spent the entire next day anxious about seeing Ellie again. You’d woken up early on accident and had to find things around your dorm and campus to busy yourself until it was time to get ready and grab all the items on your list.

And now here you were at— you checked your phone, 6:43 PM— pyjama clad and balancing a pizza box and your phone in one hand and two bag fulls of snacks and Jurassic Park in the other.

You placed one bag down to knock on the door and you heard shuffling before it swung open. To your distaste, the person who opened the door was not your best friend/crush/reason for breathing, but instead her girlfriend who you knew didn’t like you. Could you blame her though? You were in love with her girlfriend. Although she didn’t know that, at least…you don’t think she did.

You can’t believe you hadn’t thought about what you’d do if she was here, the pair seemed to always always always be together when they weren’t ‘on a break.’ Your eyes trailed down her form, she had on tiny plaid pyjama shorts and a thick green hood on that you recognized as Ellie’s. Jealousy plunged through you like boiling, corroding acid.

“Babe, who is it?” You heard Ellie call down from somewhere in the dorm and your stomach flipped, it’d been so long since you’ve heard her voice.

“Your friend.” She deadpanned.

“Who?” Ellie questioned, walking into view of the door frame. Her short auburn hair was out of it’s usual style and laid damp against her neck along with a towel, she was wearing thick navy sweatpants and a thin white tank top. Your eyes immediately landed on the black ink that trailed across her right forearm. She looked fucking amazing.

“★?” Her jade eyes widened, “What are you doing here?”

You held up the pizza box and movie half heartedly, “Surprise?”

She smiled and you swear to fucking god you almost dropped everything you were holding to whip out your phone and snap a picture. You’d missed her smile so much and seeing it online just wasn’t enough.

“Come in, you and Cat can catch up while I finish drying off.”

You looked at Cat, honestly forgetting she was there. Her dark eyes bored into you and you couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was with her short black hair and milky skin. Why were the pretty ones always fucking crazy?

She stepped to the side so you could walk in and put everything down on the old coffee table.

Awkward silence enveloped the space between you two before you cleared your throat, she was Ellie’s girlfriend whether you liked it or not which meant you’d being seeing a lot more of her so you had to atleast be civil.

“I like your hoodie.” You tried, giving her a weak smile.

“Thanks. It’s Ellie’s.” Maybe you imagined it, but you swore you heard a bit of a mocking emphasis on Ellie.

You sighed, taking a seat on the worn green sofa Ellie had found on Facebook market place for what she thought was ‘the deal of the century.’

“Hope you like pepperoni pizza.” You tried again.

“I’m vegetarian.”

Of course she was.

“Oh..you could pick them off?”

She scoffed, trudging off in the direction of Ellie, leaving you to sit alone. This was not going as planned, you’d wanted to spend one on one time with Ellie and discuss what the fuck had happened in the last month but it’d just be awkward when the elephant was literally in the room.

The two returned, Ellie’s hair dryer now and towel discarded. Ellie plopped down beside you and you didn’t miss the way Cat’s eye twitched.

Ellie’s eyes landed on the box of pizza, her face lighting up. “No way, I thought they were closed during the holiday’s.”

You smiled, “Guess I was lucky.”

She smiled back and your gaze met hers, your heart picked up in speed when you saw something in her warm jade eyes…something soft and—

Before you could inspect it further Cat slid past your legs to sit on the left of Ellie, separating the two of you again and almost pushing you off the couch.

Cat leaned into Ellie and you thought you saw her stiffen in the corner of your eye but when you turned to look at her she was back to normal, maybe you imagined it.

“You brought a movie?” Ellie asked, eyeing the small black rectangle on the table.

“Oh, yeah! Jurassic Park.” You leaned forward, picking it up.

“On blu-ray?” Cat snarked, “Isn’t that a little outdated.”

You looked at Ellie but she was focused on the the pizza, already downing a slice and a half.

“I think it’s fun, feels more..authentic.” You replied, noticing the small smirk that crept on to Ellie’s face.

You got up, fiddling with the small TV and DVD player like you did many times before when you and Ellie had a movie night. Finally, the movie started playing and you grabbed a bag of snacks as you eased into the beanbag instead of sitting back down on the couch.

Guess yours and Ellie’s talk could wait.

The movie droned on and Cat inevitability fell asleep on Ellie, you pulled out your phone as the scene where Donald Genarro gets eaten by a T-Rex while on the toilet started up.

You were answering snaps, liquorice hanging from your mouth when you got a text from Ellie, you looked up and saw her staring at you.

Bored?

You smiled,

We’ve seen this movie like a million times. I’m tired of watching an attorney get chomped up on the toilet. 😔

she stifled a laugh,

are u serious? 😫 that’s like the best scene.

personally, I like the end where they make it off the island.

Ofc u do 😒 always a sucker for happy endings.

You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully.

Hey can I ask u smth

ofc what’s up?

whyd you come here tonight? don’t get me wrong I’m glad u did its just. It’s been a while since I’ve heard from u and then u just like shoe up lol

shoe up? 🤨🤨

She frowned jokingly.

I’m srs.

Your fingers hovered over the letters as you thought of how to answer, you couldn’t just tell her that you’d been thinking of her aimlessly in the last month and you’d decided to push away the immense romantic feelings you had in order to at least stay friends with her now could you?

i just missed you and I thought like, why did we even stop talking in the first place, yk?

As you typed the next message you felt heat creep up your neck and your heart pick up just a tad. It wasn’t risky per say..just a little intimate.

tbh, ive been missing you the entire past couple weeks. like so fucking much 🫥

You added the emoji to soften the blow, make it seem less like you were in love with her and her absence caused a gaping hole in your life.

tbh, me too. im sorry abt that night btw. i was angry and felt betrayed and I lashed out on u even tho u were just looking out for me, and im sorry for not reaching out.

I understand and I’m sorry too. for yelling and not reaching out sooner 💗😞

I don’t forgive you.

Panic flooded your brain, was she still upset? Did she not want to be friends with you anymore? Did you wait too long to reach out? Ellie looked at your frightened face and tapped quickly, reassuring you.

Joking joking! I was gonna say i might if u come over like this more often but.. yeah 🥸

You sighed, relief washed over your body and you giggled.

u always have the worst timing.

You glanced up at her expecting to see a smile but your heart tugged at her expression, she looked..sad. The usual gleam in her jade eyes was gone and her soft lips were pulled into a solemn frown.

i know

Before you could pick apart the message a shiver jolted through your spine and goosebumps covered your neck and arms. When did it get so cold?

hey is ir kind of cold in here?

yeah the heaters busted. turns on and off 😒 i asked matinance to come take a look but yk how those mfs are.

damn..r ur blankets still in the same place?

nah i moved them a while ago they’re by the actually lemme just show u

Ellie peeled Cat off her shoulder carefully as to not wake her up and motioned for you to follow her. You got up from your seat on the beanbag and treaded quietly behind her.

She led you into her room and as she dug in the back of her closet you took in the space. It’d been too long since you’ve last been in there, you breathed in the familiar earthy-pine scent that was so inadvertently Ellie and eyed the bed you and her have had countless conversations on. Your eyes travelled to the guitar that stood against her bed frame, the wood worn from years of both her and Joel playing, she’d only played for you a couple of times and even then it was little snippets as she felt too embarrassed to play you a full song.

“Here.” Your eyes snapped back to her and the plush green blanket she held out. You were confused for a second but then you’d remembered why you came in here in the first place.

“Oh right, thanks.” You reached for the blanket but you must’ve anticipated for it to be lighter because it fell from your hand and landed with a soft thump on the floor.

She sighed playfully, reaching down to grab it, “Always a klutz, huh, bug?”

Your breath hitched at the nickname. She’d started calling you her lovebug back in elementary school to tease you since you always demanded she leave bugs and other insects alone and always opted for the piece of paper and cup method to set them free instead of her brutal method of stomp until they’re dead. The only insects she really liked were fireflies, she didn’t really have a reason..she just did.

However, she stopped calling you it when she had started dating Cat and resorted back to her regular “dude” “bro” and “man”. You forced your heart not to read too much in to her use of it, it probably just slipped out, nothing more nothing less.

She picked up the blanket and put it in your hands, placing one on top of yours to make sure you were holding it properly. And that would’ve been fine and dandy if she let go and you would’ve shuffled back to your seat on the beanbag and it would’ve been normal, and it would’ve been okay.

Only, she didn’t move her hand. She let it rest in top of yours, the heat from her body travelling to yours, igniting you in a way you don’t think was possible. You looked up to meet those familiar pools of jade, finding the same look you had seen when the two of you were on the couch; soft and wanting.

It’s funny really, you had shown up here with so much ready to say and now look at you. Completely silent, terrified that if you even breathed too loud it would shatter whatever blissful moment was going on.

But your heart battered against your chest, screaming and thrashing at you.

it’s NOW or NEVER. SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!

“I like you.”

Silence. There was no echo in the room but you swore your words bounced around the walls and hung in the air.

“What?” She breathed, taking a step back.

This was wrong, you knew it was. Her girlfriend was literally less than 10 feet away and the two of you had just started talking again, but you couldn’t do it anymore. You needed to tell her, if there was even a sliver of a chance she felt the same way you were going to take it.

“I like you— more than a best friend like, and I have for a while. And I know you’re dating Cat and I get that you like her, I really do. But I can’t do this anymore, Ellie. I can’t sit and pretend I’m happy for you because I’m fucking not. Whenever I see you two together, kissing and hugging I wish it was me—fuck I wish it was me.”

“Bug,” She paused, closing her eyes briefly, “ ★..I’m dating Cat.”

“You think I don’t!—“ You paused, urging yourself to breathe and counting to ten slowly.

nine..ten.

“You think I don’t know that?” You repeated, calmer.

“★..” Ellie began but you pushed on.

“Ellie can’t you see how..how bad she is for you?”

“What?” She asked, anger lacing her voice.

“She’s hurt you time and time again, and I’m always the one who has to comfort you just for you to go back to her after a few sweet words…she doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’re not apart of my relationship you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” She spat.

You huffed, blowing out air as you tried to breathe again.

eight..nine..

“Just because you’re fucking in love with me doesn’t mean you get to come in here and act like you know a single fucking thing because you don’t.”

Fuck breathing, fuck ten.

“You stupid bitch! She doesn’t fucking care about you. Why can’t you see the one for you is me.” You yelled, then gasped at your outburst. It had taken both of you by surprise, even when you and Ellie got into the nastiest of arguments you never yelled at eachother—minus that one night a month ago. It felt good, letting out all the emotion you had harboured for so, so long.

The two of you were centimetres away, having inched closer to yell in eachothers faces but now it was quiet, except for the laboured breathing that expelled from both of you, fanning over eachothers lips.

Icy jade met the fire burning behind your eyes, the juxtaposition was so intense you thought if your heart beat any faster you’d go into cardiac arrest.

“..You’re the one for me..?” She said, a ghost of a whisper.

And It was quick, so quick you almost didn’t catch it but you did. Her eyes flitted a fraction of an inch down to your lips and fuck, it was over for both of you.

Your lips crashed into hers, her large hands found promise at the nape of your neck, pushing you closer as she slotted her mouth against yours. The blanket in your hands long forgotten as it fell back to the floor. It was heated, hungry, passionate, and desperate. Months of hate, love, frustration, and separation rolled into one long awaited meaningful kiss.

It was when her hand trailed down to your hip, pulling you flush against her body and snaking under your top to brush over your skin that ellicited a sweet noise from you and her tongue sliding across yours, that she finally pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.

“Fuck.” She breathed, her voice raspy and you bit your lip when you felt your clit pulse.

“I need to—“

“I think you—“ the two of you spoke at the same time making both of you pause.

“I need to go.” You whispered, so quiet she almost didn’t hear you.

She nodded and watched as you turned around and walked out of her room, she stayed like that, standing and barely breathing until she heard the familiar noise of her dorm door closing before she allowed herself to crumble to the floor and hang her head in her hands.

“Els?” Her head shot up, thinking you had returned but she felt guilt flood her body when her face fell in disspointment at the sight of her groggy girlfriend.

“Hey..we need to talk.” She sighed.

She really did have the worst timing.

[cheemken]

I’m thinking about Iris now and like, ough

You know there was a concept character that had fire powers, and I’m thinking that’s the power Alder and every previous Unovan Champion had

And ig a ceremony has to take place for the gifts to go from the previous champion to the new champion, kinda like the movie. And people get to watch the ceremonies :)

God, imagine being Iris, waiting anxiously for Alder to finish the prayer to Arceus, thanking him for the gift that protected his people. Then seeing him create a great blaze in the sky above the crowd (really just for show) before turning the fire into a small candle flame in his hand, ready to hand it off to Iris

And Iris was so ready, with Alder telling her the flame will not hurt to touch, that it’ll feel like a pleasant warmth engulfing her entire body. So with the reassurance she wastes no time in grabbing the flame with her hands

…only for her to drop the fire the minute Alder let’s go, pulling her hands back in pain, and the flame starts surrounding Iris with scalding fire that neither Alder or Iris can control. Quickly rising above her cutting off any chance for her to run

I imagine this is Arceus taking control of the flame and changing it so she will instead inherit a fraction of his power instead of the flames

But god, once the flames die down everyone is in a panic over what they saw while Alder and the rest of the League are trying to keep the peace

The rumours once the incident spreads. Was she not worthy? Did Giratina do something to corrupt it? Did she reject the gift at the last second?

But lmao yeah you got me thinking about Iris, love making angst for her

But about a storyline, I really got nothing. I just wanted to create angst lmao

Dude that got me feeling like

OUGH,,,,,,, NO CAUSE HCKDBFJD no cause imagine if Iris was still so young during that tho, like 12 at least, can you imagine how devastated she'd be, imagine how humiliated she is, how hurt she is, that Arceus didn't give her a gift. She's proven herself hasn't she? She beat Alder fairly, helped defeated Plasma too, helped everyone in the region the best she could, why,, why didn't she get a gift?

And her mind is just racing w all these thoughts, she starts spiralling, she feels like shit man that she ran away when Alder and Drayden tried to comfort her. And god just hcmdndn Arceus never wanted her to feel like shit, he wanted her to be the one to truly inherit his gift, but he knows that his power wasn't like the gifts he gave the rest of the champions, she really has to train herself hard and work for it for her to be able to use it, but she doesn't even know it exists, she thinks she's cursed

Years went by, she still believed Arceus has forsaken her, Drayden was trying to encourage her that she doesn't need a gift to be a good champion, she's doing well as it is, but it's the pressure y'know, being w the other Champions and how they have their own gifts, she feels like she's an outcast

Now 15, three years since Cynthia suddenly vanished, the same day she became champion too, suddenly she hears more rumours abt the champions, imagine that's how she'd slowly start to realize she does have a gift, like she starts from Geeta bc that's where she probs heard the rumours too, and Geeta finally opens up to someone abt it, and like bcmdnd idk, she's slowly starting to realize just how much the gifts mess up the champions too, how people expect so much from them, and found out why Cynthia suddenly vanished too

Idk like the movie, Iris trying to search for Cynthia, ofc maybe Cynthia has answers, maybe she knows what the future will be, is this making sense chmdndmd

Like, maybe she and Hau are trying to figure out some way to help the other Champions y'know, and through it all, Iris is slowly but surely figuring out that maybe she does have a gift, she just has to dig deeper to find it, to tap into it, to finally use it to help the others too

But you are so right abt the angst omf the Dia angst in this I cannot fucking wait cbdndn hahaha

[the-himawari]

A3! Miyoshi Kazunari - Translation [SSR] Aozora graffiti (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Weather person: “For those in the area of the typhoon’s expected path, please refrain from going outside and stay away from the sea and swollen rivers.”

Muku: It’s going to hit tomorrow evening…

Yuki: I guess the fireworks show is a no-go after all.

Kumon: Don’t give up yet! Maybe it’ll make a sudden u-turn!

Tenma: Typhoons never do that.

Kazunari: I just checked the site for the fireworks show, and they said there’s a chance it’ll be called off due to the typhoon.

Kumon: Whaaat! Stupid typhoon!

Muku: Even though we thought we would finally be able to see some fireworks…

Yuki: It looks like the weather’s going downhill starting tonight.

Misumi: I wanted to see a triangle firework~…

Tenma: It’s really too bad.

Kazunari: …Wait, I know! If it’s gonna get cancelled at this rate, then we should just do our own!

Tenma: Do what?

Kazunari: A fireworks show!

Yuki: Uh, right now in the daytime? How?

Kazunari: Y’all, just leave it to me!

-pause-

Kazunari: Sorry for the wait~! I’ve brought it over!

Muku: Wow, that’s a huge sheet of simili paper!

Tenma: And art supplies too?

Kazunari: That’s right. Let’s all draw fireworks together!

Yuki: Good idea. Such a big piece of paper is perfect for all us to draw on.

Kazunari: Plus the background’s black, so it’ll look sick if we draw fireworks on it! I’m not sure if tomorrow’s really gonna be cancelled or not, but why don’t we host our own fireworks show in advance? I love seeing all your drawings!

Muku: That sounds fun! I’d love to!

Misumi: I’m gonna draw a big triangle firework~!

Kumon: I’m gonna draw the biggest one!

Yuki: Well, that sounds fine to me.

Tenma: …Guess we have no choice.

-pause-

Kumon: I call this spot~!

Misumi: Ta~maya~!

Izumi: ? (I wonder what Summer troupe’s up to in the courtyard…?)

Yuki: Excuse me, it’s cramped. Can’t you scooch a little over?

Tenma: Then I won’t have any space!

Kumon: Ah! You’re on top of my firework, Tenma-san~!

Tenma: Eh? Sorry—uwah, the paint!

Kumon: Ahaha, let’s make your handprint into a firework too!

Muku: Misumi-san. That’s Sankaku-kun there, isn’t it?

Misumi: Yep! It’s a Sankaku-kun firework~!

Yuki: I like Kazunari’s colour combination. It stands out.

Kazunari: Doesn’t it? Colour usage is super important!

Izumi: (Everyone’s drawing fireworks, huh? It does look amazing against the black background~.)

Muku: Ah, Director-san!

Kazunari: Draw with us, Director-chan~. The spot beside me’s free.

Izumi: Alright, I’ll join you guys since I’m here. That reminds me, everyone in Summer troupe gathered and drew like this together on your trip, right?

Kazunari: Drawing together might be something we just gotta do whenever I play the lead.

Izumi: True, you guys drew during your Shinobi play too.

Kazunari: I have a lot of rough patches during plays where I lead. But everyone in Summer troupe always helps me out, and I get to make tons of precious memories. Even for the performance this time, I felt like everyone had my back~. I’m thankful we were able to reach the finale, no prob.

Kumon: Same here! You were so cool as the lead, Kazu-san!

Muku: You always help us when we lead. So we’re returning the favour.

Yuki: Yeah, we’re all in the same boat.

Tenma: That’s right.

Izumi: (To support and to be supported… they really do share a wonderful relationship.)

---

previous | next

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

bakugou thoughts pt 2001847471 :)))

- if u go to the park, and somebody is like, walking their dog n the animal barks at y’all??? bakugou is barking back. mans full on squares up, n barks at the dog until it backs off

- he rarely gets into shows/series, but when he finds one he likes, he’ll only watch the first few episodes and then make u watch the rest with him. he’ll always say sum “if i dont watch with you, then i gotta make extra time for your needy ass. ‘m prioritizing my fuckin’ time. it doesn’t mean anything, shut up.” ...... he’s lying. it does mean something. it means he wants to share the things he likes with u

- pls he’s so smart, and generally pretty aware, but sometimes he’ll just do something so duMb. like, u kno that thing that happens sometimes with hair?? like, when it sticks to ur fingers and no matter what u do, u can’t get it off?? bakugou is literally breaking his wrist a foot away from u, shaking his hand back and forth and cursing soooo loudly. u just gotta go up to him and gently remove the hair from him like “oh honey- no.”

- peanut gallery comments. lots of them. mans will sit fully dead silent, not talking for the whOle day, but the second u do something embarrassing?? like trip??? suddenly he has a LOT to say ..... smh men

- animals just always like him. its absolutely unexplainable bc he’s so loud n moves super suddenly,,, but the amount of street animals that follow him home is ridiculous. srsly. sometkmes he even has other people’s pets trying to follow him home

- respects absolutely no one n that somehow strangely makes him the most respectful u’ve ever seen??? like- he hates everyone the exact same so u won’t ever catch bakugou in an act of discrimmination

- he can’t draw at all but if u asked him to draw something, it’ll be the same skull every single time. it’s a good skull, but it’s soooo obvious he learned how to draw it from a tutorial in the midst of his emo phase

- will fully make fun of others for baby-talking around their s/o, n then just fully go home n look at you like “tired.” “hungry.” “kiss.”...... like okay baby man, maybe try putting a full sentence together before u start trying to run your mouth. hypocrite.

- probably sleeps like the dead. contrary to popular belief, i absolutely do not believe he’s up at every single noise. man’s could sleep thru an explosion, im sure of it. that being said tho, it’s probably actually hard for him to turn his brain off n fall asleep. he prob goes to bed so “early” bc he has to wind down for a good hr or two until he’s ready to actually sleep

- he’s got a vendetta against salespeople. like, if his phone rings with some bullshit about a product? if somebody, god forbid, tries to walk up to your door? fully frothing at the mouth annoyed. will chew out any employee who’s too underpaid not to listen to him

- eats like an absolute animal. no rlly, its bad. holds his spoon with a fist and digs at his meal like its the gold rush. the worst table manners you’ve ever seen rlly

- he gets sorts antsy if he sits for too long, so he’s always off doing random shit. like, u’ll look out the window n he’s just like, raking the .3 leaves from ur driveway, probably trying to guess where the wind will be so they wont blow back

- ik this with my heart and soul okay,,, bakugou has never had a conversation with u that wasnt from exactly .2 meters away. like,, if he’s comfortable, then he’s just close all the time. like he’s waving his hands around and yelling and you just have to take his face in ur hands and go “im literally right here. ily but pls tone it down for the sake of my hearing.”

- very much guard dog behavior when y’all go out. absolutely will not leave ur side for even a second, like, at a bar or during a concert. even if u go to the bathroom he’s like, leaning against the wall and waiting right outside the door

- gets absolutely bitchy about your phone blowing up while you’re hanging out. its not that he’s suspicious that ur, like, cheating on him, it’s just that he doesnt understand why u’d even leave ur phone on in the first place since he always has his turned off when ur around. if he gets annoyed enough he’ll fully take the phone out of ur hands, say sum “yeah, you don’t fuckin’ need this anymore. you’re done with this.” n toss it across the room while he kisses u senseless

- tbh his ultimate love language is 100% playfighting. v much would go heart eyes if u even seemed like u might try n wrestle him. obvi u dont win, but his favorite is how u laugh while he pins ur hands above ur head

- he sneers at other angry people. will fully, fully sit there like “jesus christ, they need to calm the hell down. annoying as shit- fuckin’ loud too.” ....... -i. who’s gonna tell him

- silent conversations with ur eyes. no rlly. if y’all are with friends and somebody says something questionable, bakugou is immeadiately turning to u, eyes hardly even shifting but u just know he’s hurling insults in his head

- he doesnt realize his own strength sometimes. like- he knows he’s strong, but if u ever open a door n ur like “woah, careful, this is heavier than it looks” bakugou is .2 steps behind u practically ripping the damn thing off it’s hinges. he’ll look at it, huffing like he doesn’f even understand the issue

- he rlly likes when u call him by his name. pet names are fine, but he srsly is super soft for the simple stuff. like when u look over at him, all excited, smile wide like “hey katsuki, u gotta see this! c’mere!”

- his road rage is severe. no rlly. bakugou drives like every day is a race n he’s one win away from going formula one. you’re pretty sure that the only reason he passed his license test is bc the instuctor was too terrified to tell him no

- bakugou probably does that thing where if you’re sitting on the counter top, watching him cook, he’ll stand between ur legs. hands on ur thighs or resting on ur hips while you tell him about your day

- can’t explain this one, but he doesnt kill spiders. he takes them outside. says sum “they eat ticks, idiot. what- you actually want a fuckin’ blood disease? Hah? ‘m not gonna kill it. motherfucker’s gotta earn his keep before dyin’ just like the rest of us.” while he v gently picks the spider up into his hand and walks it outside

- ik that his one cheat food is sugary cereal. like, he’s a health freak, but the one thing he can’t help but make a concession for is sugary cereal on the weekends

- he’ll sometimes get in this over-stimulated mood where everything pisses him off, n the only thing u can do is leave him alone. u learn this quick bc his anger doesn’t discrimminate and if u push him even after he tells u what’s up?? pls bakugou will lash tf out. at u. like, ik y’all like to write it but that whole “it’s okay- it’s just me. just look at me.” thing does not work with him,,, u literally gonna get merc’d if u try

- he’s probably a guy who’s gonna be super big on passing touches. like he drops his hand on ur head when he passes, or bumps his shoulder into urs when he laughs. no footsies tho. too sappy even for him- pls if u tried to initate that he’d crush ur toes under the table aHAHAHA

- feeds every street cat he comes across. is probably super fond of the ones with a bunch of scratches/scars on them. he’d die if u knew, but one time u caught him feeding a scratched up calico n going “bet u beat his stupid ass, right? that’s my girl. we always win, huh?”

—/—

surprise suprise,, my brain rlly never shuts the hell up about this man

[emospritelet]

Manifesto - chapter 12/?

First off, I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update stuff. I'm super busy with work and now getting over a severe bout of Covid, so I'm pretty wiped out

Last time, Belle had been working with Sutherland on a consultation and trying to ignore her massive crush on him. Here's what happened next

[Ao3 link]

-

Sutherland tapped his pen on the papers in front of him, staring ahead and seeing nothing. His day had started well. A call with the US President had secured bilateral talks, a visit to Washington in October, and the chance of a trade deal. He and the Business Secretary, Sir Frederick Knight, had met with a delegation from India just before lunch to discuss a deal on vehicle manufacturing, and there had been a particularly rousing session of Prime Minister’s Questions, where he had scored some important points against the Opposition. He had been looking forward to a relatively quiet Wednesday evening in Downing Street, a time to take a breath and think about the upcoming election campaign. And now this. 

“Do the press know?” he asked.

Anna was seated on the couch to the left of his desk, legs crossed and a folder of papers on her lap.

“Not yet,” she said. “But it’s only a matter of time. This kind of scandal - difficult to keep a lid on it, no matter how hard the firm may try. Especially if they go into liquidation, as we expect. It’ll get out in the next couple of days, one way or another.”

Sutherland nodded irritably, pen tapping faster until he lost his grip. It whirled out of his hand, spinning across the desk before dropping to the rug with a soft thump. He leaned forward with a sigh, putting his elbows on the desk and running his hands over his face.

“So let me get this straight,” he said, through his fingers. “Emerald Holdings plc, one of the biggest fucking group of companies in this country, is about to head right down the toilet and take all its subsidiaries, thousands of employees and innumerable suppliers with it?”

“Yes,” said Anna. “Although it’s more like tens of thousands of employees. Most here, some in distribution centres abroad. There were a lot of subsidiaries.”

“And the rumour is that its pension fund has been looted by a person or persons unknown but likely to be one or more of its fucking board and it can’t even pay its staff the redundancy they’re owed, never mind their pensions?”

“You were listening to me, then. I thought you’d zoned out.”

“Fuck it all!” Sutherland dropped his hands, pushing back from the desk and almost jumping to his feet. “Where exactly were the fucking auditors when all this was going on?”

“A question the FRC, as regulator, will no doubt be asking.”

“Yeah, well I want their bloody Chair on the phone right now!” he snapped. “There’ll be a Select Committee hearing as a fucking minimum and she’s gonna need to have a bloody good explanation for why this has been allowed to happen!”

“Sir Frederick is speaking to her now to request an immediate investigation.” 

“Request?” he snapped. “She’d better bloody do it! What the bloody hell is the FRC there for, if not to prevent this kind of thing?”

“No doubt she’ll see the urgency,” she said, her tone calm. “I thought we might give her a few hours to make some enquiries before you speak to her. She’ll need to speak to the head of whichever firm was auditor, for a start.”

“Good,” he said, with asperity. “I don’t care if she has to pull the wanker off his bloody yacht, I want some answers. How can this have been allowed to happen? Were they doing their job in scrutinising the accounts, or was it all sewn up on some bloody golf course somewhere?”

“Sir Frederick told me he’d be asking the same questions.”

He grunted approval and began pacing back and forth across the room, running an agitated hand through his hair.

“So we’re going to have to find the redundancy payments, in the first instance,” he said grimly. “How much are we talking?”

“Tens of millions, at best,” she said. “A conservative estimate would be £87 million. That’s not the main problem, though.”

“No,” he said, stopping abruptly. “They were the Government’s biggest contractor. Which means a whole bunch of projects are in jeopardy, right?”

“Some of which were already running over budget.”

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

“Not to mention the knock-on effect that this will have on Emerald’s own suppliers,” she added. “If they fail, it’s likely we’ll see hundreds of SMEs fail with them. We’re talking a potential loss to the wider economy getting into the tens of billions.”

A sudden, dreadful thought came to him, and he turned swiftly to face her.

“Arendelle?” he asked urgently. “The defence contract?”

Anna winced.

“They’ll be affected,” she admitted. “Too early to say what impact it’ll have. I suggest getting Sir Frederick to speak with their CEO to see how this affects their long-term plans for Avonleigh.”

Sutherland groaned, letting his head roll back.

“Just what we need in fucking election year!” he growled. “I’d hoped to pick up that constituency! Where’s the Chancellor?”

“Getting briefed by his aides,” she said. “I’ve suggested you meet at nine p.m. when we’ve got a firmer idea of the impact and he’s had a chance to crunch the numbers. Projects are going to have to be delayed, some scrapped altogether, I expect. I think we need to prepare the electorate.”

Sutherland shook his head, hands resting on his hips and his shoulders hunched. His tie felt as though it was trying to choke him, and he tugged at the knot irritably, tearing it from around his neck and flinging it on his desk. Pushing open the top two buttons of his shirt seemed to let him breathe again, and he flopped onto the couch next to Anna.

“I’d been hoping for some good news stories to carry us through to polling day,” he said quietly.

“We’ll do our best,” she said. “Dealing firmly and decisively with a crisis can play well, remember.”

Sutherland pulled a face. A vision of Belle French floated into his mind, her blue eyes shining with anger and passion as they looked up at him. He shoved the image away.

“Well, we’re going to have to make some difficult decisions,” he said. “Something tells me it’s gonna be a long night.”

“I ordered coffee.”

“Good.” He ran his hands over his face again. “Did you speak to the Press Office?”

“They’re working hard on some lines to take. I thought we’d ask Sir Frederick to do the morning media rounds.”

“Good. That’s good.” He let his head roll back against the cushions with a sigh. “We need to find the least worst way to deal with all this.”

“We’ll do our best,” she said. “But whatever you decide, there’s a sizeable amount of shit heading towards the nearest fan.”

“Best start passing around the fucking umbrellas, then,” he said gloomily. 

-

Belle rolled her shoulders, reaching for the glass of wine on the table in front of her. She had just closed up the library following the Friday book club, and Merida had invited her to go for a drink at the local pub, The Miner’s Arms. Leroy had joined them, staring glumly into his pint as though he was due to face the gallows the next day. Belle nudged his arm gently, making him look up.

“I’m sorry Astrid couldn’t make it tonight,” she said. “I thought she was on early shift this week.”

“She had to cover for someone,” he said gruffly. “Working herself into the ground at the moment. That Miss Blue is a tyrant.”

“I’m sure Astrid can stand up to her,” said Belle. “She’s nice, but she’s not a pushover.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t like leaving ‘em short-staffed,” he said. “Says the patients lose out. She’s gonna make herself ill working all hours. An angel, that’s what she is.”

Merida took a slurp of her pint and banged the glass on the table, making Belle jump.

“Man, would you just bloody ask her out, already!” she complained. “If I have to look at the besotted expression on your face one more time I’m gonna puke!”

“I am not besotted!” 

“You are head over heels in love with the woman!”

“Yeah, and I don’t stand a chance with her!”

“Well, not if you just sit there and never say anything!”

Leroy opened and closed his mouth.

“I’m - I’m preparing!” he insisted, fingers splayed in the air in front of him.

“Preparing for what? Dying alone?” Merida snatched up her beer again. “By the time you psych yourself up to it you’re both gonna be in a nursing home!”

“Shut up!”

“If you don’t ask her out I’m gonna do it for you.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Alright, cut it out, you two,” said Belle wearily. “Merida, stop teasing him.”

“He’s driving me insane!”

“Then let’s talk about something else,” suggested Belle. “How’s work? You said you were going to ask for a raise today. How did it go?”

Merida snorted, shaking back her red curls.

“I got a load of bloody flannel about how much I was appreciated and what a contribution I made to the team, and how they’d love to give me a raise but the company wasn’t in a position to do it,” she said. “It’s this bollocks with Emerald plc going tits up. You see it on the news this morning?”

Belle nodded, taking a drink, and Merida pulled a face.

“Major Government contractor goes down the drain, it affects a lot of businesses,” she said. “I’ll be lucky to have a bloody job, at this rate.”

“The Business Secretary was on the radio this morning saying that they’re trying to limit the impact as much as they can,” said Belle. “Don’t ask me what that means in practice, though.”

“Probably that they’re gonna cut spending elsewhere,” said Merida. “Usually does. It’ll be the least well-off that suffer, you mark my words. God forbid they make the greedy bastards responsible for this pay, right?”

Belle opened her mouth to respond, but her phone buzzed, cutting her off. She picked it up as Merida took a long swallow of her beer, swiping the screen to view the email that had popped up.

“A message from Ella Deville-Waters about the consultation,” she said, scanning the email header. “At last, I was wondering when we’d hear something.”

“That the posh blonde woman I saw on the news the other day?” asked Merida.

“Yes. Under-secretary for Education. Good sense of humour. You’d like her.”

“She’s a Tory,” said Merida, with a note of disdain.

“She doesn’t have horns and a tail,” said Belle impatiently. “She’s nice.”

“She can be as nice as she wants, I’m still no’ bloody voting for her.”

“Well, neither am I, I’m just working with her, that’s all.”

“Aye, that’s how they worm their way in.” Merida took a drink. “Like Sutherland.”

“He hasn’t wormed his way anywhere,” said Belle, feeling her cheeks heat a little. “I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, and I doubt I will again.”

She opened the email, brows drawing down as she scanned the contents. Shaking her head, she read it again.

“They’re pulling the plug,” she said in disbelief.

“Huh?” Merida put down her drink.

“The consultation!” Belle waved the phone at her. “They’re pulling the bloody plug. Listen. “Given the dramatic impact that the failure of Emerald plc will have both on Government finances and the resources within the Civil Service, we are unable to commit to additional spending at this time. It is therefore with great regret that we must postpone any further development of the Shaping a Stronger Society policy until after the election.”

“Oh, shit.” Leroy winced. “Sorry, Belle, I know you were giving that your all.”

Belle shook her head, frustration and anger welling up inside her.

“I can’t believe he’s doing this!” she said, and threw up her hands. “Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I can believe it! Stringing people along with empty promises is what politicians do! I guess I’m just surprised he bothered to pretend an interest in the first place.”

“The email said they postponed it,” said Leroy. “Maybe it’s not the end. After the election—”

“After the election he’ll have moved on to the next shiny new vote-grabbing bollocks,” put in Merida. “Tax breaks for all his city mates or hunting licences for posh people to shoot immigrants, or something. That’s if he doesn’t get kicked out by Labour, of course.”

Belle slumped in her seat, reaching for her wine and feeling as though she wanted to cry.

“I actually thought I had a chance to make a difference,” she said heavily. “What an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” said Leroy sharply. “You did what you could. You got the most powerful man in the country to fucking sit down and listen to you. That’s not nothing.”

“And you can make everyone else listen, too,” added Merida. “Talk to the press. Get the people on your side.”

Belle grimaced, pushing her glass across the table.

“I can’t,” she said. “I had to agree to keep all discussion of the consultation confidential.”

“Doesn’t have to involve the consultation,” said Leroy. “You don’t even have to mention it.”

“I know, but everyone knows I was working on it, it’s bound to come up,” she said. “I don’t want to give them an excuse to bin all the work we did.”

“So get a petition going,” suggested Merida. “One of those ones on the Parliament website. If you get over one hundred thousand signatures they have to debate it. Make the fuckers say outright that they want to take away people’s local public libraries. Shame the bastards, Belle!”

“Better still, you could get Leopold White to back the thing,” added Leroy. “If you have an MP on side then it’s gonna get more attention, isn’t it?”

“Plus he’s the Opposition,” said Merida. “He’ll want to give Sutherland a bloody nose, won’t he?”

“I don’t want to give him a bloody nose, I just want…” Belle cut off with a sigh, running her hands over her face. “I don’t know what I want. I want him to care, I guess.”

“Great big fuck-off petition should make him care,” said Merida, gesturing with her pint glass and making the beer slosh dangerously close to the rim. “How many new Twitter followers did you say you got after you yelled at him on TV?”

“I don’t know. Thousands, I suppose.” Belle rested her chin on her hand, feeling glum. “Mind you, some of them were trolls and there were more than a few creepy weirdos, remember?”

“Yeah, but you blocked them,” said Leroy. “The rest must be regular people who were interested in what you were saying.”

“I suppose…”

“So start the petition, launch it on Twitter, and sit back and see what happens.” Merida sat back, a satisfied smile on her face. “It’s a brilliant plan.”

Belle thought it over. A petition would get the attention that her cause needed, and increased library funding was a problem nationwide. Perhaps it was worth a shot.

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll draft something and set it up tomorrow.”

“You never know,” added Leroy. “Could get the news talking about it again.” 

She smiled, feeling a little better, and sat up.

“I’ll do it,” she said, and raised her glass. “Here’s to causing a stink.”

“To giving Sutherland a headache,” added Merida, and clinked her glass against Belle’s.

-

Sutherland pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling loudly as he tried to clear eyes grainy with tiredness. He scrawled his signature on the documents in front of him, closing the leather folder and sitting back in his chair. 

“I’ll take those.”

He wasn’t sure where Anna got her energy from. She had been awake as long as he, and on her feet running between offices for most of the day, but she looked full of energy, while he felt as though he’d been hit by a truck. She scooped up the folder, tucking it under her arm.

“Give them to one of the aides,” he said. “What else is there?”

“Nothing,” she said briskly. “I cancelled your nine o’clock. Sir Frederick still hasn’t finished speaking to the Treasury, so it can wait until morning. Drink?”

“What would I do without you?” he asked wearily, and she chuckled.

“That’s a yes, then. Whisky?”

“Make it a large one.”

“Is there any other kind?”

He sat back, taking off his glasses and rubbing his hands over his face as he listened to the clink of glasses and the glug of liquid. 

“Come on, get out from behind that desk,” she said sternly. “It's Friday night. You’re taking a break.”

He got up obediently, rounding the desk to sit on the couch, and she handed him a glass of whisky before sitting down next to him.

“Did you speak to Ella this evening?” he asked, and she nodded.

“She’s emailed all the consultation participants to tell them the news. Nothing back as yet, but there again it’s late. Probably won't get any response until Monday.”

“Right.” He took a sip of his whisky. “She alright about it?”

“I think she was hoping to raise her own profile off the back of that policy,” she said, “so she’s a little disappointed, of course, but she understands the reasons.”

“She’ll get her opportunity at some point.”

“She said to remind you of that, so I’m glad you said it.”

He grunted in amusement, turning the glass between his fingers. Anna nudged him gently.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

“You mean aside from the economic meltdown we’re heading towards and the contracts that need re-tendering and our ratings—”

“Yes, aside from that,” she said impatiently. “That’s the third time today you’ve asked me about the Shaping a Stronger Society consultation.”

“We made a pledge, remember?”

“Yes, and we now have a crisis to deal with that means we can’t fulfil that pledge right now,” she said. “It’s not the first time that’s happened, and I doubt it’ll be the last.”

“I know.” He took another drink, enjoying the mellow heat of the whisky and the taste of peat and smoke at the back of his mouth. 

“You had some hard choices to make, and you made them,” she added. “That’s your job.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I know I made the right call.”

“So what’s bothering you?” asked Anna, and he shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Usually when I make the right decision, there’s a sense of - of certainty there. This time, I feel - bad.”

“And you’re sure this has nothing to do with a certain librarian?” she asked, with a grin. Sutherland turned back to his whisky.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered.

“Oh, merely the fact that Belle French is extremely pretty and clever and capable and has no qualms about telling you to fuck off to your face.”

“No, I’m—” Sutherland frowned. “She never specifically told me to fuck off.”

“Not using those words, perhaps.”

“And I never noticed whether she’s pretty or not.”

Anna snorted.

“Liar.”

He ignored that, because it was true, and took another sip of his whisky.

“I’m half expecting her to turn up on the doorstep to yell at me,” he admitted. 

“I think you’d quite enjoy that.”

Sutherland chuckled.

“I get yelled at enough, thank you.”

Anna settled back a little, crossing her legs. 

“Well, she may not have to come to London to do it,” she said. “If things look bad with the Arendelle contract, I’m going to suggest you make another visit to Avonleigh to reassure the constituents. Including Belle. She seems to be the heart of that town, in many ways. You’ll need her on your side.”

Sutherland sighed, letting his head fall back against the cushions.

“Our last visit didn’t exactly cover me in glory.”

“No, but you two have worked together now.” She took a sip of her drink. “I’d like to think your relationship is more civil.”

“Try telling Miss French that.”

“I think you should tell her yourself,” she said. “We both know how persuasive you can be. I might even say charming.”

Sutherland let out a humourless laugh, raising his glass.

“Something tells me she’s not easily charmed.”

“Something tells me you haven’t tried.”

“Because she’d cut my bollocks off if I did,” he insisted.

“Oh, so we’ve completely bypassed apathy and gone straight to dramatic overreaction, have we?”

He took another sip of his whisky, relishing the burn on his tongue, and let his head roll to the side to meet her eyes.

“Alright, fine,” he said wearily. “If you think I need to, I’ll go to Avonleigh. But I’m not meeting her in public until we know what sort of reception I’ll get.”

“Good,” she said briskly. “It’s the right decision.”

“I hope so,” he said. “If I have to come face-to-face with Miss French, I’d prefer it to be pleasant.”

Anna gave him a satisfied smirk, raising her glass.

“If you can both behave yourselves, I’ve no doubt it will be.”

[relaxxattack]

okay this is prob au/ooc bc it’s banking on jackie knowing ran wants to kill him and thinking it’s funny when he fails but here u go (if I cuts off i’ll send the rest of it. also I’m on my phone and not checking for typos sorry)

Jackie jumps up to sit on the bench, leaving Ran to stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. The general is talking about something. And Ran should really be listening, but all he can think about is how much this one person is ruining his life. If he goes back to Terminus a failure what then? The delays are already had enough.

He snaps out of it when he hears his name being called. And Jackie is gesturing for him to come closer so he does. He tries to leave a respectable gap between them - most people don’t like having their personal space crowded (Ran included). But Jackie frowns, drags him closer, and then frowns again.

“What the hell! You’re still so much taller than me.”

“Maybe you should try standing up.” Ran suggests, painfully aware of the fact Jackie’s hand hasn’t left his wrist. “Although I don’t see how it’ll help your ego if you need to stand on a bench to be taller than me.”

Jackie laughs, and finally lets go of Ran’s wrist. Only to loop his arms loosely around Ran’s neck. What. “You’re lucky you’re so cute because that was really rude.”

And he doesn’t have anything to say to that so he doesn’t respond. He’s sure that at any moment, Jackie will release him and go back to talking about whatever. But Jackie seems content. And Ran is quickly growing uncomfortable by how much he feels the same.

This is an opportunity, he reminds himself suddenly. He’s close enough to his target to reach his back. And the knife hidden up his sleeve means he won’t draw suspicion when getting it into his hand. All he needs to do is lean forward slightly to rest his hands on the bench behind Jackie.

So he does. He hoped to make it a casual shifting of pose. But he’s close enough to hear Jackie’s sharp intake of breath so he pulls back. Surely Jackie suspects him. There’s no other explanation for it. He didn’t think the general would be smart enough to interpret such a subtle movement as a threat. But he supposes Jackie was an assassin as well.

But when Jackie unloops his arms from around Ran’s neck, he doesn’t shove him away. He slides on hand down to hold his shoulder, and the other up to cup his cheek.

Oh.

Slowly, giving Ran more than enough time to move away, Jackie drags him down so their faces are almost level. (It forces him to put his hands behind Jackie on the bench, but that barely registers in his mind.) Jackie stops just before their lips touch.

And Ran will never admit this to anyone - not even himself - but he’s the one that closes the distance. It’s a short kiss. That’s the excuse his jumbled mind provides him for not taking advantage of his potion and Jackie’s distraction to complete his mission. It’s a short kiss, but they only barely pull away from each other. Jackie’s eyes are still closed and there’s a soft smile on his face.

Ran desperately tries to collect his thoughts. He has never wanted to complete a mission less. Because Jackie’s touch burns in the best way possible and he doesn’t want to ever move. And that scares him more than anything.

He could go in for another kiss. Now that he knows what’s happening. He can approach it calm and collected, and he won’t be too distracted by the shock of it to complete his job. He can finally be rid of the whirlwind force that is General Jackie, who spins around him and leaves him disorientated at every moment.

He leans in again, and forces himself to focus on the cool metal of his knife in his hand. It’s an easy angle straight to his heart. If Ran was perhaps less focused on not being distracted by the kiss, he’d be able to note how poetic it is.

He kisses Jackie, and feels his knife skate off Jackie’s armour. The armour that Ran didn’t realise he was wearing due to his layers of clothing effectively concealing it. Jackie laughs a little into the kiss when it happens. And there’s no way he hasn’t been found out now. The hand on his cheek disappears, only to reappear around his wrist. Where Jackie must press some nerve or something because Ran’s hand spasms and the knife clatters to the bench.

The smile on Jackie’s face would almost be cruel if Ran thought the general was capable of such a thing. But surely smiling in the face of his failure is cruel no matter how soft it looks.

“You’re going to have to try a bit harder than that.” Jackie murmurs. And they’re still so close that Ran can practically feel the words against his lips.

He’s so sure that this is the end. That Jackie will shove him away and call for the guards so he can be jailed and executed. Or pick up the knife and kill Ran himself. And he should be running. He should be trying to make a hasty escape. Which is something he wasn’t even considering in his desperation to finally be done with this.

He hadn’t checked to see if Jackie was unarmoured and unarmed. He hadn’t planned his escape route. Jackie has disorientated him so thoroughly that he may as well be a novice at this.

If he runs now, he’ll go back to Terminus a failure. But at least he’ll be alive. And he can pass off whatever knowledge he’s gathered in his stay here to the council so they can finally finish the job.

But he’s frozen in place.

Jackie pushes him back enough to so that he can jump off the bench. Ran feels inexplicably cold now that Jackie’s no longer touching him.

“You’re lucky you’re handsome.” Jackie is grinning, as though he didn’t just thwart an assassination attempt from someone he was kissing. “Let’s go get dinner tomorrow night, yeah?”

Ran takes a step back and forces his brain to start back up again. He’s half convinced that he made the whole thing up due to Jackie’s strange reaction. But the knife is still sitting on the bench.

“Okay.” He says. Because he’s simply not sure what else to say.

“Um, I don’t really have a time preference. 6pm sound good to you?”

“Sure.”

“Or, if we hang out during the day doing investigation work or whatever else then we can just go whenever we’re hungry.” Jackie shrugs. “Doesn’t need to be a fancy event.”

“If you say so.”

“Great!” Jackie grins and makes an excited motion with his hands. “It’s a date! See you tomorrow!”

The general gives him a lazy salute, and then practically skips out of the room. Leaving Ran to stand there and try to process what just happened.

He’ll have to go back to his room and figure out what to do now that Jackie knows for sure he’s trying to kill him. He’ll have to figure out if dinner is some obscure play to trap him, or whether Jackie is really just stupid enough to let this slide.

(The best and safest solution, is for Ran to just leave. But for reasons he can’t and won’t explain, he pushes that thought away.)

THIS IS SO GOOD HELLO. ITS LIKE. FUCKED UP AND I AM SO INTERESTED. JACKIE IS DEFINITELY FUCKED UP LIKE THAT LIKE I THINK LIKE THIS SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING HED DO.

[abbynx]

La Squadra Esecuzione as Best Friends Headcanons

Formaggio - Very chill, first and foremost, he is down for anything to do. Videogames? He'll try to beat your ass. Cat cafes? Heck ye he is down - The type of friend who will coax you to cut class to hang out behind the school or climb over the school fence to hang around the local arcade or theatre. But if he get caught, he won't snitch and he's willing to take responsibility. Begrudgingly. - Ohhhh physical touch is bare minimum for him. He'll occasionally lean on you, perhaps shrink himself to fit himself in your pocket just to platonically cuddle and perhaps, use you as a transport. - Will high five you as a greeting, and will high five you as a farewell. Usually followed by a hug too uwu "Bro!" He holds his hand out for a high five, in which you instinctively grant him one, when he also entwines his fingers through yours and pulling you for a hug, patting your back for a second and pulling away. "I missed you bro!" - Prepare for dumb jokes, dumb puns that he effortlessly come up with as time goes by. You can't go on a day without him cracking a joke. You'd either roll your eyes at it or laugh along with him. There's nothing in between "You see that guy over there, bro?" He leans on you, arm draped around your shoulder as he points at a person from afar. "Yeah, what?" "I say... You'd be a perfect match." You glanced at him, hearing him shake a box of matches as he wiggled his eyebrows with a dumb grin. - *Finger guns and bro intensifies* Illuso - That weird person you don't see yourself associating yourself with somehow befriended him for some reason. Most likely started when you both started to wake up at 3 AM and meet in the middle of the dark, in the kitchen, wanting to grab something to eat. At first it is awkward, but soon you learned to bond through it! And soon enough, your midnight chats extended to become actual friendships! - Seems distant, but he cares. He's the type pretend not to care about you, but will glare (or more than glare depending at the severity) at people who hurt you. He is the 'I'm the only one allowed to insult them like that' type of friend. "Huh, Formaggio hasn't been teasing me. I wonder what happened." You wondered aloud, as you say beside your friend Illuso. "Must be because of his bruised jaw. The previous mission must've been tough for him." "Yeah... That..." - Probs touched-starved. He acts irritated and push you away when you try to hug him, but secretly loves it. If you stop trying to hug him, he'd be kinda sad but will not say anything. - This friendship includes you listening to him rant about every little thing, and brag about things he can't do. He appreciates you listening to be honest, and that's initially how your friendships started anyways. - Will use derogatory terms as a term of endearment. Please don't be offended, he doesn't mean any offense "Hey idiot! Get your sorry ass right here! Risotto said we have someone to take care of!" "Thanks, dumbass." "Eyo slut! Take a look at this fugly idiot!" - Does not have the habit of knocking. In fact, he just barges into your room, through the mirror. In more than one occasion has he seen you undressed but he couldn't care less about it. "Hey dumbass can I borrow your— hey, stop screaming! Anyways I ran out of hair ties, do me a solid—" - Everyone around you being confused to how you two are most unlikely to become friends, but you two are practically unlikely twins Prosciutto - You can not stop me from assuming he is quite the mom friend if you pry his shell hard enough. Perhaps a mom friend mixed with tsundere friend. "Hey! Drink your water or I'll break your ankles! No I don't care that we're in the middle of killing someone! I packed you some water and you didn't drink it! Well shit I didn't pack it specifically for you, I just managed to pack extra! Now go ahead and drink, I'll handle this one myself! While you're at it, coat yourself with sunscreen! If I hear you whining about being burnt, I swear to God—" - If you happen to be a mom friend too, you'd be bonding over the

mutual stress of having to look over the rest of the gang over a glass of wine as chaos around you ensues because you two decided to take a small break. "Formaggio and Ghiaccio is up at it again..." You sigh, swirling the content of your stemware as the distant bickering of the two aforementioned assassins echoed. "Just... Let's just lay low. It'll be over soon." Prosciutto sighs along as well, before downing his glass of whiskey. "Hopefully." And it didn't end, as it ensued and progressive got worse. Stands were called, knives were thrown, guns were shot. And two mom friends of La Squadra almost lost their voice from all the yelling and lecturing - Will scold you for your bad habits. Bad posture? He will walk behind you, press his knee on your back and roll your shoulders back whilst he lectures you about it. Messy time management? Will buy you crap to make you keep track of time. Sleeping so late? He will take whatever you're distracted with, demand you to turn your lights off as he lights soothing scented candles and tossing you some comfortable blankets to use. Barely taking care of yourself? Bro prepare yourself. "I don't understand how you live like this! You'd be dead if you were to continue that habit! At least help me help you to make you be better!" - Very blunt and honest to the point it stings, but he never lies to people he is closed to. He prefers being upfront with his loved ones and will try to rebuild their confidence and reassure them that they can be better than what they are. "When I say you're idiotic, you're but a burden, I mean it. You have all rights to be hurt by it, but don't just live with it. Prove me wrong, that you can be better than that and you'll be the best version of yourself. I know you can do it." - Will accept hugs, but will most likely not hug back. Maybe he'll just out one hand on your back and lightly stroke it, but that's it. But in rare occasions, he will return them too. Sometimes, he'll even initiate it. - Your connection to him as a friend has lead several advantages. No one in general can make a negative comment about you with Prosciutto around. His glare alone was scary and they would not wish to stick around and find out what he can do than just glaring. - Extremely appreciates when you help him around by simply carrying things for him, fetching him coffee and actually doing your damn job properly is enough to make him be filled with gratitude. Pesci - Baby. Okay, so this boy. Boy oh boy, he is baby. Take care of him, bro. Don't coddle him to the point of him being entirely dependent on you, but sis you can always reassure and make him improve himself! Perhaps a tamer version of his relationship with his brother. - You two will mostly likely be friends because you always defend him from the others from teasing him and rooting for him. He is very grateful for it and can't thank you enough. Either that, or Prosciutto paid you to babysit him. - Will constantly cling on your arm when he's anxious. It's up to you whether you'll snap at him and slap his hand away, or just let him hang around you. He'll just simply grab your wrist, and sooner and later he'd have his body pressed against yours, completely clinging on the entirety of your arm. "D-don't leave me, Y/N! I'm scared—!" - He is extremely thankful for you watching over him and protecting and by this, he tries to improve himself a lot more just so he can confidently say he can watch over you and protect you as well - Just the sweetest little thing, whenever he'd be away with Prosciutto for a mission he'd return home bearing gifts from travel and he'd give it to you. It would be something either miniature, or something practical like a knife sharpener or something. "I-I got this for you... I hope you like it! Big bro helped me pick!" - Honestly, I can imagine him just being the best, supportive and encouraging friend there could be. If ever you needed someone to confide in, he'd just sit and listen and will certainly not repeat what you told him to others. He'll try his best to comfort

you, taking inspiration to how you comfort him and will just try his best to make you feel better. "I know life is rough and hard and bad, but you always told me it will change and soon it all be over and better. It's good that you recognise you're in a bad place, now you need to take a break and then later you won't even know you've already forgotten your problem! It's okay to be sad, too, but not for too long." - The type of friend that will share anything he has. He has a cookie with him? Shit, he'll split it in half and give the other half to you. Some soda? Well I hope you don't mind drinking from the same can as he is, he will give it to you. Melone - So this nerd isn't a complete creepy pervert, not entirely at all. He's chill for most of the time, so he's a neat company if you don't mind him bombarding you with questions regarding your genetics, heritage records, blood type, zodiac signs and whatnot. But knows when to stop. - You most likely befriended him because he is one of the chill people in the group... Somewhat. Or perhaps you just started to bond over mutual love for steamy, erotic novels from the same author. If this man has shame, his guilty pleasures would be reading these types of trashy novels filled with smut. - He is great as a wingman. Complain to him about your lack of a love life, he'll observe your types and he'll somehow come up with a list by the next day enthusiastically listing them to you in a PowerPoint presentation. "If you're into girls, I have this one right here! She's compatible with your zodiac sign, although she has quite the temper she can be extremely passionate and affectionate— or perhaps you're into men, that I have as well. Several, actually. This other fellow right here is also a part of Passione from the Human trafficking branch, stoic and quite a stern one, but knows when to lay low at times and appreciate those around him— either him or the girl, you'd make good babies together!" "Melone, what the fuck—" - Very touchy. He'd lean his head on your lap as you both read on the couch, or randomly put his head on your shoulder during meetings, grab you by the arm while crossing the road, smacking your ass as a greeting (if you tell him stop, he'd stop of course), will pretend to kiss you just so he can see your reaction, anything. He is one affectionate nut that he sometimes forget about personal spaces. If you're not particularly fond of being touched like I am, simply tell him nope. I mean, he'd be sad but will respect your boundaries. The only time he'll actually respect established boundaries, to be honest. - Knows the most random facts and will share them to you for the fun of it. Additional to that, he will also mutter his shower thoughts and random cursed facts out loud just so he can curse you with the knowledge and confusion. "Did you know that dolphins masturbate using dead fishes? Also, there was an experiment involving dolphins in which one of the scientist fell in love and had sex with it. Another fact, is that dolphins are also seen doing the deed—" "Okay, Melone, I get it! Dolphins aren't as innocent as they seem! Stop ruining it for me already!" ... "Did you know that a woman once used mayonnaise as a lubri—" "MELONE!" - Being his friends meaning being his impulse control. If he intends to use his Stand on some innocent passerby just for the heck of it (for science, as he claims), smack him by the wrist and glare at him. If he eyes a particular someone for too long that the person gets too uncomfortable, try to divert his attention away. "Ow! Y/N what the heck—!" "What did I told you about oogling at people? It's impolite and creepy, stop that!" - He may not seem like it, but bro he cares a lot. If ever you had a problem, he'd sit and listen, offer you his shoulder to cry on, and perhaps hang out to divert your attention away from what's bothering and hurting you. And if you need advice, he'll try his best to come up with a flawless solution to your problems. But if comfort is what you need, his arms are open baby. Ghiaccio

- Bro you must need emergency ear plugs for this one, he is a massive screamer, a ticking time bomb with no timer that will erupt at random. If ear plugs aren't enough, cover your ears. - Befriending him was an impulse control befriending him. Well, all you did was to constantly try to calm his tits and cool his head to the point he actually barges in your room to hang out so that he can cool his head from all of the shenanigans occuring all around him, or maybe he just had another thought about something maddening about the world. "WELL WHY?! WHY IS WOMEN'S CLOTHES SIZING CHART DIFFER FROM EACH STORE?! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! INCHES AND CENTIMETRES EXISTS FOR A REASON, DAMNIT!" - There are moments where he isn't screaming, thankfully and he's a decent person to talk to. If you're a listener, he'll do the talking, just ranting about things, rambling on and on, before complaining, and then another outbursts comes out. By this, you simply sigh, put a hand on his shoulder and talk to him in a gentle, calming voice. It usually does the trick. Formaggio and Melone joked about this talent of yours as witchcraft. - He appreciates you a lot and honestly doesn't know what to do without you and by that, he knows he has to reciprocate the care you give him somehow to show he is grateful of your friendship and care. He isn't the type to be physically affectionate, but he is extremely thoughtful about his closed loved onesa and prefers to be practical about it. He would save you your seat in meetings, fetch you snacks if he ran out for an errand, etc etc. Extremely observant of your mannerisms, that he might point that out to you and you won't even realise you do that. - So like, he is very protective as a friend. He will do something whenever someone has wronged you in any way. The others teasing you? Bam, he'll shoot them back with a witty insult. Your s/o cheated on you? Ohohoho boi, be prepared to see their name on a headline on the daily news. Your order was wrong? Bam, he'll have the waiter shaking in fear from a screaming, angry Italian mafioso as he demands for them to remake your order correctly. "WELL CAGACAZZO?! QUIT STANDING AROUND AND GET ORDERS CORRECTLY—" "G-Ghiaccio it's just a minor thing, let it go—" "THEY SERVED YOU AN INGREDIENT YOU SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM NOT TO INCLUDE BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO IT! WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS SLIDE OFF?!" - All in all, he's just glad you're there for him because damn, someday his temper is going to get the best of him and he doesn't know what to do. And with your friendship, he's learned how to cope with his spontaneous anger by carrying soothing stuff to ease his nerves (courtesy of your suggestions and gifts for him) - Basically the dynamic of a rapid gremlin with rabies and a calm, sunshine personified angel. Everyone (Riz, including, but he's more subtle and dry about it) joked about the unlikely friendship, and how your ears must've lost a little bit of hearing capacity. Rissoto - I feel like he'd be extremely attached to a childhood friend. You've been friends since before you underwent the drastic change by going through a lot to get to where he is now, and still the only person that stuck around with him was you. By that, you became the most trusted by him due to the fact you've known each other for very long. - As his best friend, you're his confidant and finds himself often going to you if ever he needed advice, or needed to vent about his stress. He really isn't vocal but when he's confiding in you, his words spill out of his mouth usually sealed tightly just steadily flows, his big strong Capo veneer falls apart in front of you but he doesn't necessarily feel unsafe by being vulnerable. That's how he trusts you. - No one will dare to bad mouth you in front of the Capo, or else there'd be hell to pay for. I mean, teasing is fine, he knows you can handle burns from team mates here and there (and will silently smirk at it) but he will not stand it if they attempt to belittle you for something unreasonable. "Watch your mouth. That was

out of their control, stop blaming them for something they can't do." - The type of friend that doesn't know how to comfort someone, but will try their best. So as you spill your heart out, tears, snot, sweat and all, he'll just pull you to his chest and awkwardly pat your shoulders to get you calm and comforted. Not to mention, he is extremely stiff at the hug and is very unsure what words to say to you to not upset or offend you any further, so he'll just ride it out smoothly, and let you let it all out on his chest. It's not like he can't wash your tears, snot and sweat on his chest anyways. - Since he is very non-vocal, he's a good listener so rant all the way! Complain about the weather, about your lack of love life, about how underpaid the hitmen team is, anything! He won't find the perfect response, so he'll just nod along and perhaps comment occasionally on what your saying. "So like, ugh, I am soooo frustrated at how Prosciutto could say that to Pesci! He makes a good point, but it's redundant for him to be too harsh on him! Look, all I'm saying is, maybe Prosciutto should start choosing his words correctly so that Pesci won't feel too upset! You know???" You glanced at your friend, as he simply sat attentively beside you. He nods silently as a response. "Anyways—" - Extremely great at deduction and the way he reads people so easily is so unreal. And so he uses this to his advantage to know what's up with you whenever you seemed off. By this, he's able to tell whenever you're upset but scared to talk about it, frustrated but too busy to talk about, etc etc. And with this, he takes the time to drag you to take a seat, and talk about what's been bothering you. If you don't wish to talk about it at all, he'll let you be after with a reassurance that you can overcome whatever the heck you're going through. - Everyone is surprised that you two aren't married??? That you're just friends??? The way you two look just makes you two look like a couple and it boggles the others how you two aren't one.

[talkfantasytome]

Sooo….I kinda feel like everyone loves Azriel simply because we don’t really know him…. Like, his backstory is super interesting, and he has that whole “tall,dark and mysterious” thing going on, but I feel like the fandom loves the version they’ve created of him. Which is fine, but I think we have to acknowledge that SJM is kinda good at ruining her characters. *cough* Rhysand *cough* Feyre *cough* Tamlin….and I could go on. I fear that if we get a book where Azriel is a main, everyone will be disappointed.

That is a totally fair and valid fear!

I do agree that's probably a reason why people love him. The other reason is because Az is your standard "sad boi", and A LOT of people, especially readers, seem to love a good sad boi. Or, at least, a lot of readers in my life do. 👀 Personally, I don't. I fell in love with Cassian basically the moment we met him and have never faltered - that's my type. I've posted about it, but my three biggest SJM world crushes are Cassian, Connor Holstrom, and Aedion Ashryver (don't get me wrong, I do looooove Rowan, but Aedion was the one that just had me like 'awwww 😍😊'). So, like, yeah...and while, yes, there's obvs a physical aspect to that, in reading, that's not what makes you fall in love. And those three definitely also have very similar vibes, especially Cassian and Aedion, who can both have some comic relief aspect, and are happier bois.

Anyway, enough about me, the point is that a lot of people seem drawn to the sad boi type, too, whether they can help it or not. And hey, we all have our trauma that makes us like what we like, so def. no judgment from me on that.

As for being afraid she'll ruin his character, I get where you're coming from. Especially after reading the Bonus chapter because, I'll admit, I was disappointed in what we saw from Az in his mind.

That being said, SJM loves Az, so at least, if she does ruin him, it won't be purposeful, similarly to Rhys. But, I also think that she has a lot of room to help him grow. SJM, in my opinion, hasn't ruined characters when they were the main. I mean, for the first three books Feyre was really the only MC, with a bit of Rhys POV at times, and we loved Rhys so much! And some of us loved Feyre...I was iffy on her at times, cause she's always been just a bit too perfect, but I def. never hated her, and I often did like her.

However, I know a number of people that hated Nesta before ACOSF, and after it were like "shit, this badass is queeeeen". Which, yes, accurate, how dare you not figure it out sooner. 👀 And while Cassian could have had more development, and been a bit better, I didn't feel like he got ruined in ACOSF either. Even with his flaws, I still ended up loving him more. I need a man like that...one that'll wait for me and fight for me, like, ughhhh...seriously, can I have one??

But, yeah, SJM didn't really ruin Rhys until ACOSF, and we finally saw him through eyes that didn't have a "Rhys is the best" filter. It probably also didn't help that we fell in love with Nesta and so many of us relate to her in one way or another. But, we also have to remember that there are people out there who still don't like Nesta, and they don't feel Rhys was ruined. It's okay to be wrong sometimes. My point with that is that, in the end, it'll be as much about ourselves, what we related to and how we see those actions. Me, I saw a male who couldn't be sympathetic to a struggling female, and held her to a double standard and couldn't forgive her for the things she did years ago when she was basically a child, and nothing she could do would be enough. Not even literally save his brother's life. And yet, he'd forgive the other sister even though she did less than Nesta did when they were humans, isn't the one who attempted to get Feyre back from the Fae lands (I mean, seriously, does no one in the book remember that Nesta traveled to the f*ing wall as a human to try and get Feyre back?!), and did very little during the war. Not trying to insult E\ain, just pointing out what happened and how Rhys is holding a double standard, forgiving one sister solely because she's "nice" and hating the other, most likely because Nesta was representing on the outside what everyone else was feeling on the inside. And, Rhys is your typical WASP - you hide those emotions, you do not show flaws in public, outside your home everything is fine, repress repress repress.

Okay, sorry, Rhys rant over, and if anyone was ever curious where I stood on Rhys (and hadn't seen other posts where I def. brought it up), now you know. I'm not sorry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, while I understand the fear, and that feeling is totally valid, I'll say I'm not super concerned. Because SJM is good at putting us in the perspective of who she's writing from, and that will hopefully help us long-term in his book, even if maybe at the beginning it's rough cause Az hates himself.

My biggest fear is definitely more that we'll be disappointed because we all like Az (or love for some) and many of us are likely building up this potential story in our heads a lot - kinda like what you said about the fandom making our own Az. Or reading fics doing the same. I won't deny, that's probably my biggest fear. It's not that she'll ruin Az, but just that she'll do things differently, and I may be a bit disappointed...esp. if she doesn't make Gwyn the dom. 👀 After reading a fic with femdom Gwyn (not super BDSM, just, like, she's the dom in the relationship), I can't not want that...so, like, SJM, plz. I know it's probs not gonna happen, she writes relationships where the guy is the top, BUT IT COULD!

And, if it doesn't, then she better f*ing make E\ain the dom to Lucien's sub...I'm sorry, but considering her personality outside of the bedroom, it's just so right, and we need a femdom relationship in her world.

So, yeah. I get your fear. It's fair. The fanon version of Az does exist, for sure. I think canon Az is likely going to be darker, for sure, at least at the beginning, which is going to be difficult but really put us on a true journey. But, in the end, it also might be something we have to check ourselves on, because it wouldn't be fair to SJM for us to be disappointed because we created something we love with her character, and then she showed us that the character she created is different.

I understand, I feel you. But don't worry too much. <3 I will just leave you with a little nugget from the true nugget, Newt Scamander:

[albertasunrise]

Mistakes - Chapter 1

Summary: You’d known it was a bad idea to get involved with Javier Peña. You were just another notch on his bedpost but you were a notch he kept revisiting. You know you should have stopped it, declined his offers to rock your world but you couldn’t and now you had to deal with the consequences. Consequences that you knew he would refuse to accept.

Warnings: Angst, References to sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, Mentions of Abortion

Pairings: Javier Peña x Reader

§

As you stared at those two lines you felt your stomach twist. How was this happening? You’d been careful, always using protection so how was it that you were now looking at a positive pregnancy test. You’d known it was a bad idea to get involved with Javier Peña. You were just another notch on his bedpost but you were a notch he kept revisiting. You know you should have stopped it, declined his offers to rock your world but you couldn’t and now you had to deal with the consequences. Consequences that you knew he would refuse to accept.

‘Fuck.’ You sobbed as you placed the test down and picked up the other, it too telling you the same thing ‘Shit… What am I going to do?’

Were you ready to be a mum?

Should you get rid of it?

No, you’d never be able to do that.

You knew you had to tell him but how? How were you supposed to tell the most desired man at the embassy that your casual relations with him had led to this? A baby

You walked from the bathroom and sank onto the couch, placing the tests on the coffee table as you let your tears flow freely now. You were pulled from your cries by a knock at the door and after wiping your tears and letting out a few shaky breaths you answered, not getting a chance to see who it was but the familiar lips on yours told you. He kissed you with fervour but you can’t return it, you don’t want to and he senses that quickly.

‘What's the matter Cariño? He asked as he kissed down your neck ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day.’

‘Don’t Javi.’ You said as you pushed him off of you, avoiding his gaze as you made your way back to the couch.

‘What the hell is up with you?’ He growled, angered by your rejection of his advances.

‘Javier please.’ You sobbed then, throwing your face into your hands.

Javier’s stomach sank, his anger replaced with worry as he sprinted to your side and dropped to his knees in front of you, missing the two sticks of plastic on your coffee table. He grabbed your hands and pulled them from your face, cupping it in his hands as he lifted it so your eyes were level with his.

‘What's going on?’ He asked, brow furrowed in concern ‘Has something happened?’

You could only nod, eyes settling on the tests that sat just behind him. His gaze followed yours and stopped on the offending items, eyes growing wide as he saw what they said and his head quickly whipped back to face you.

‘You’re?’

You nodded, letting out another sob as your hand unconsciously came to rest on your belly.

‘Who’s is it?’ He asked and this made you look up at him in disbelief.

‘Who’s do you think?’

‘Well, I don’t know who else you've been sleeping with.’ He grumbled and you gave him a chilling look before shifting out of his grasp.

‘Fuck you, Javier.’ You spat, shoulders shaking as you walked to your kitchen.

‘What?’

‘I haven’t slept with anyone else Javi.’ You announced, the cogs in his mind whirring ‘I haven’t been with anyone but you. Men don't exactly throw themselves at me.’

‘But we-.’ He paused as he took in the information ‘No this isn’t possible. How?’

‘I don’t fucking know Javi.’ You snapped ‘Condoms aren’t a hundred per cent effective, everyone knows that. I guess one failed.’

‘I…Uh.’ He stuttered, unsure of what to say ‘I’ll speak to Connie.’ He said finally ‘See if we can get you booked in for a termination.’

‘A termination?’

‘Well you’re not seriously considering keeping it are you?’ He inquired, his tone exasperated ‘I mean you’re in no position to raise a kid. We should get rid of it.’

‘Get the fuck out.’

‘Cariño.’

‘OUT!.’

‘Please just think about this. We can’t have a baby together. We fuck casually, I don’t want a relationship and I certainly don’t want a kid. I can’t give you what you want. You’ll be alone in this.’

‘That's fine Javi. I guessed I would be.’ You growled ‘You have no right however to tell me to get rid of it. I’m going to have this baby with or without you. Just know that they’ll never know you. I refuse to let them know a father that told me to get rid of them… Now get the fuck out of my house.’

‘Cariño.’

‘GO!.’

He left and you stood there, seething on the spot. You knew he wasn’t going to react well but you'd never expected him to suggest you terminate it. That had never been an option for you. You sobbed a little at the knowledge you’d be doing this alone, suddenly very aware of how alone you really were and after glancing at the clock and seeing was barely seven you decided to pay Connie a visit.

…

‘You’re what?’ She exclaimed, a little shocked by the news you'd just told her.

‘I was surprised too.’

‘Who’s is it?’

‘Connie…’

‘It’s Javi’s isn't it?’

‘Well, I haven’t been with anyone else since I arrived here a year ago.’ You confirmed and she gasped.

‘You told him?’ She asked

You nodded.

‘How did he take it?’

‘Told me to get rid of it.’

‘He what?’ She yelled and you flinched a little ‘Sorry.’ She apologised.

‘He said he doesn’t want a relationship, which I already knew, and that he doesn’t want kids. Told me it was for the best but it was never an option for me Con. I figured I’d be raising this baby alone. Just never thought he'd tell me to terminate it.’

‘He’s a fucking idiot.’ Piped up Steve, sipping from his beer ‘I can kick the shit out of him if you like.’

‘And what will that achieve?’ You chuckled ‘No, it's fine. This baby will never know him.’ You declared ‘I’ll make sure of it. It’ll never feel unwanted.’

~

Connie managed to get an appointment in the clinic for you to get your first scan and even attended it with you. As you lay were, shivering from the jelly that the doctor had squirted on your stomach it all became very real to you. Placing the prob on your skin, she started to move it around and you fixed your eyes on Connie, nerves starting to get the better of you.

Then you heard it.

‘There we are.’ Said the doctor as she turned the screen ‘See that little shape there?’ You nodded ‘That’s your baby.’ She stated ‘Judging from this I'd say you’re around 9 weeks along. Strong heartbeat. Everything looks good.’

‘Wow.’ Said Connie, her eyes glued to the screen ‘That’s the most wonderful thing I think I’ve ever seen, don’t you think?’

‘Yeah.’ You replied, letting out a choked sob as you watched your baby on the screen.

‘I shall print some pictures for you.’ Said the doctor, smiling at you both ‘Would you like some too?’ She asked Connie and the woman nodded eagerly.

…

‘So that thing there that looks like a cashew… that’s the baby?’ Asks Steve, nose scrunched as he studied the pictures.

‘Yup.’ You replied, grinning at him ‘I’ve grown a cashew.’

Connie giggled at that, refreshing your lemonade as you glanced at the pictures yourself.

‘Still can’t believe that there’s a tiny being growing inside of me.’ You said, a few stray tears slipping down your cheeks ‘I love them so much already and I haven’t even met them properly yet.’

‘It’s going to be so loved.’ Said Connie ‘I’ve already bought a tone of wool to knit it some cute bits.’

‘I didn’t know you knit!’

‘Ahhhh.’ Said Steve, waving the picture at you ‘She’s a woman of mystery my wife!’

~

‘Gah!’ Squealed Connie as you walked out of the changing room ‘Look at that bump!’ She squealed with excitement ‘How have you been hiding that from us?’

Connie had dragged you out to find a dress for the office Christmas Party. You really didn’t want to go, you were four months pregnant and still suffering from sickness a little but Connie had begged you to come shopping with her and that’s when she’d found this dress for you. A pale mint green that suited your complexion perfectly.

‘Baggy t-shirts and loose blouses my friend.’ You replied with a wink ‘What do you think?’ You asked as you gave her a twirl, the sundress accentuating your growing belly ‘Doesn’t just make me look fat does it?’

‘NO!’ She practically screamed ‘You are glowing.’

‘Do we have to go to this party?’ You groaned ‘I can’t drink so it's going to be a bore for me.’

‘I’ll stay sober with you!’ announces Connie, determined to convince you to come.

‘Is Javi going?’

‘Doubt it.’ She replied ‘Not really his scene.’ She paused, pulling her best puppy eyes ‘Please.’

‘Fine.’ You groaned ‘But you have to stay sober.’

‘Promise.’

~

‘You said he wouldn’t be here.’ You snapped at Connie, seething at the sight of Javier drinking at the bar with Steve.

The hall was decorated with traditional Christmas decorations, a large tree at the centre of the far wall twinkled with fairy lights that gave an aura of magic to the room.

‘I said I doubted he’d come.’ She retorted, raising her hands in mock surrender.

‘I need to leave.’

‘No, you’re here now. Come on.’ She begs ‘You don’t have to speak to him.’

You’d managed to avoid him pretty well since announcing to him that you were having his baby and he’d avoided you too. Steve kept you up to date and you knew that he hadn’t asked about you or the baby and that had made it crystal clear for you. You really were in this alone. There had been a small part of you that hoped he'd change his mind, tell you he wanted this. Wanted you but you knew you were fooling yourself. Javier Peña doesn’t settle and he certainly wouldn’t settle for a girl like you.

‘Come on, let's get us a drink.’

‘No alcohol remember.’ You remind her, and she rolled her eyes.

‘Yes, I know.’ She groaned.

You noticed Javier looking at you from the corner of your eye when you approached the bar but you didn’t return his gaze, you kept your eyes fixed on Connie as you flagged down the barman with one hand and cradled your bump with the other. Thumb stroking the fabric that covered your swell.

…

Javier studied you as Steve talked to him about a game he’d caught on the weekend. You looked good. Simple makeup, hair up in a loose bun with few curls framing your face and the sundress you wore suited you perfectly. As his eyes trailed over your body before they settled on your hand, the way it sat on your stomach highlighting your growing bump.

‘She’s showing.’ He said suddenly as his eyes growing wide, stopping Steve dead.

‘What?’ He asked, a little confused at the change of subject.

‘She’s showing.’ He said again and Steve followed his gaze to you, also noting your swollen stomach.

‘Shit yeah, she is.’ He replied, smiling to himself ‘You’ve been a fucking ass to her.’

“What?’ Javier snapped.

‘She’s four months pregnant with your baby and not once have you asked how she is. How the pregnancy’s going. Nothing.’

‘I don’t want it.’

‘Doesn’t fucking matter Javi.’ Steve scolded ‘You are that babies father and you’re doing fuck all to help her. What would your dad think if he knew?’

‘Steve-.’

‘She’s fine by the way. In case you do give a shit.’ He interrupted ‘Con’s been taking really good care of her. Went to her first scan, got her a bunch of books. Been arranging all her appointments for her.’ He took a swig of his whiskey ‘Baby’s doing well too. Cooking nicely.’

‘That’s great’ Javier growled, downing the last of his drink and storming out.

…

You noticed him leave but you didn't care. If anything, you were relieved. The rest of the evening went fairly well after that. He did come back but he avoided you and you did the same. You danced, you laughed and you enjoyed yourself for the first time in that felt like years, your worries melting away. For a night you didn't worry about the future. The fact that you had no family to help you raise the baby or that its father didn't want it. You just focused on your friends, the music and yourself.

~

‘Thank you for arranging this Con.’ You said as you took her hand ‘You’ve been so amazing.’

It had been a month since the Christmas party and you’d not seen Javier since. You were a little surprised that you hadn’t run into him in the hall since your apartments were across from each other but you suspected that wasn't an accident but it didn't bother you. He was going you the space you’d demanded.

‘What are best friends for?’ She replied, smiling at you sweetly.

‘Well, they don’t normally arrange all your antenatal appointments for you.’

‘I work at the clinic.’ She chuckled ‘Easy for me to sort it for you.’ She gave your hand a squeeze ‘You nervous?’

‘A little.’ You confessed ‘Last time I was here they were teeny.’ You continued ‘Now look at me.’ You finished as you motioned to your very visible bump.

‘You’ll be able to learn the sex.’ Connie stated and you looked at her with comically wide eyes ‘You want to know?’

‘More than anything.’ You admitted ‘Been killing me not knowing. Makes getting for it things hard.’ You giggled.

Your name was called and you were led into a familiar room where you laid on the bed and lifted your shirt like before, hissing at the cold of the jelly again. She places the probe on your belly and moved it around, finding the baby quickly this time. You swooned at the sound of their heartbeat, the consistent thump making your own race.

‘Oh my.’ Squealed Connie ‘Look at it.’ She lamented, tears trickling down her cheeks ‘Hi.’ She giggled when its hand came into view.

‘Would you like to know the sex?’ The doctor asked and you nodded, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth as they focused on the screen again ‘Well it looks to me like you’re having a baby girl.’ She said after a few moments, turning the screen so you could see better ‘Congratulations.’

‘A girl?’ You asked, eyes widening and the doctor nodded.

‘Mhmm.’

‘You’re having a girl.’ Connie squealed and you look up at her with tear-filled eyes.

‘I’m having a girl.’ You grinned, laughing as you sobbed with joy.

‘I’ll print lots of pictures again.’ The doctor said, grinning at your reaction.

You practically skipped out of the clinic pictures in hand and Steve waved at you as you clambered into his truck, giggling as Connie shoved the pictures into his hand.

‘Well, now I can tell it’s a baby.’ He said and you rolled your eyes.

‘That's my daughter you’re talking about.’ You declared and he turned to face you and beamed.

~

‘You boys done?’ Asked Connie as she stopped beside the table, noting that Steve had eaten all his food but Javier had barely touched his.

They’d been pouring over paperwork and pictures for hours and coming up empty-handed. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at his partner’s wife and gave her a weak smile.

‘Um yeah… Thanks, Con.’

‘Nah come on, finish your food.’ Grumbled Steve ‘You’ve not eaten all day.’

‘I guess I just don’t have much of an appetite.’ Stated Javier as he pushed his plate away.

He hadn’t had one since he’d seen you at that Christmas party. Seeing you there glowing, round with his child, had brought out all these feelings in him that he was struggling with. He wasn’t sure what it was he was feeling but he knew that he missed you. Pined for you. That was painfully clear to him.

‘You never do.’ Steve retorted, pulling him from his thoughts ‘You live off of ex and Whiskey. Amazed you’re not thinner.’

‘Fuck off Murphy.’ He growled, grabbing his beer and drinking the last of it before placing it down on the counter in the kitchen ‘Thanks for Din…’ He trailed off as his eyes caught sight of your sonogram pictures, your name and the date above the very clear image of a baby ‘Is this?...’

‘Your baby?’ Snapped Steve and Javier flinched at his change in tone ‘Yup.’

‘She had her 20-week scan yesterday.’ Said Connie softly, watching the way Javier’s eyes softened as he studied the image ‘Here.’ She handed him some more pictures and there was one that caught his attention in particular, a very visible hand above them giving the illusion that they were waving ‘She’s already waving and she’s not even been born yet.’ Connie chuckled as she grabbed his bottle and placed it in the glass bin.

‘She?’ He said suddenly, head whipping up to look at Connie with tears pooling in his eyes ‘It’s a girl?’

‘Yeah.’ She replied, grinning as she nodded excitedly ‘Got so many patterns to do and now I can buy some girly wool. Can’t believe there’s going to be a baby around here soon!’

His hand flew up to his mouth as he let out a sob, eyes returning to the picture that now shook in his grasp as tears splash on its shiny surface. This was a life he’d helped create and it was growing inside of you. He realised how stupid he’d been and he suddenly felt overwhelmed.

‘Hey.’ Said Connie softly as she pulled him into a hug and he sobbed against her shoulder, his body shaking as he cried.

‘I’m going to have a daughter.’ He sobbed ‘And she’ll never know who I am.’

‘You can change that Javier.’ Said Connie, pulling away to look him in the eye ‘You still have a chance to be part of this baby’s life but you need to do something about it.’

‘They’re better off without me.’

‘Seeing these pictures here, how do they make you feel?’ She questioned, glancing at Steve who is watching his partner carefully.

‘I don’t know.’ He answered honestly.

‘When you see her. The baby girl that you helped create. Do you want to know her?’ She asked, hand on his arm rubbing comforting circles.

‘Yes.’ He choked out, eyes drifting up to Connie.

‘Then there is your answer.’ She stated ‘You have a chance to be a part of your daughter’s life but only if you act.’

‘She said I’d never know them.’ He sobbed ‘She swore it.’

‘You had just told her to get an abortion.’ Piped up Steve and Connie threw him an angry look.

‘How about I speak to her. Arrange for the three of us to sit down and talk this all out.’ She suggested and Javier nodded weakly ‘Give me a few days.’

‘Okay.’

~

‘Absolutely not!’ You yelled, angry tears streaming down your cheeks ‘I don’t want to speak to him.’

‘But-.’

‘No buts Con.’ You snarled ‘He wants nothing to do with her and she’ll never know him.’

‘He saw your ultrasound pictures the other night.’ She stated and you looked at her with a confused expression, unsure of where this was going ‘He sobbed when he learned that you’re having a girl. I slipped up when he saw the waving picture. He cried his eyes out. He wants a chance to be a part of her life. You need to give him that chance hun.’ She pleaded ‘Just come round tonight. We’ll talk it out and see what happens.’

‘Why does he suddenly care?’

‘I think the ultrasound made it more real for him.’ She said, shrugging slightly ‘I think him seeing those pictures made him realise he wants this. He just hadn’t known before.’

‘Fine.’ You grumbled ‘But if he steps even a toe out of line, I will make sure he never meets her.’

‘Shit, okay…’ Connie breathed, a little taken aback by your statement ‘See you later.’

~

You sat nervously at Connie’s table, waiting for Javier to arrive. She’d decided that dinner was perhaps not the best way to talk things through, too many ways to get out of not saying anything at all. You rubbed your swollen belly, feeling your stomach twist in knots as you ran through the possible scenarios for how this would go. You weren’t expecting him to confess his love for you and the two of you skip away together, one big happy family. You weren’t sure what you were expecting.

‘That’s him.’ Said Connie as a knock sounded at the door and you felt your heart begin to race.

‘Just breath.’ You said to yourself, glancing up as Connie and Javier appeared through the doorway.

‘Hi.’ He said gingerly, rubbing the back of his neck as he oozed nervousness.

‘Hi.’ You replied, short and curt.

‘Javi why don’t you sit down.’ Said Connie as she pointed to the chair across from you ‘I’ll grab you a beer.’

‘Thanks.’ He replied, giving her a quick nod before taking a seat.

‘How are you?’ He asked in an attempt to break the silence and you rolled your eyes at him.

‘Really?’

‘What?’

'It’s been 5 months and now you want to do small talk?’

‘Carino I-.’

‘I’d appreciated it if you didn’t call me that.’ You growled ‘I’m not your sweetheart.’

‘Here.’ Said Connie as she placed the beer in front of him and he gave her a weak smile.

‘Thanks.’

You all sat there in awkward silence before Connie finally decided that enough was enough. She slammed the sonogram pictures on the table along with some shoes she’d clearly knitted herself. They were tiny and brought tears to your eyes as you studied them. A pale pink with white toes and a large brown wooden button fastened them shut.

‘We all know why we're here.’ She began, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms ‘You are having a baby together. Javier, you have made some big mistakes in how you dealt with the news but I know that you want to make amends and you want a chance to be involved.’ She paused and he glanced up at her before looking at you with the saddest expression you’d ever seen ‘Hun I understand why you’re upset with him. When you first told me what he’d said I almost stormed down there to castrate him myself.’ That made Javier wince ‘But you need to do what’s best for her.’ She declared as she leaned forward and lifted one of the scans so you could see it more clearly ‘You’re going to be parents in less than four months. Don’t you want to give your baby the best possible start? With both her of parents in her life?’

‘Javi’s married to the job.’ You grumbled and he winced at the fact you were about him as if he wasn't there ‘I don’t want to do this alone. I am terrified, but I can’t be worrying about him letting me and the baby down.’

‘May I speak?’ He pipped up and both you and Connie looked at him, your expression expectant ‘I did fuck up. I freaked out. I came to Columbia to make a difference, I never expected to meet someone that I’d come to care for and I certainly never expected to end up having a baby with said person. I won’t lie. I was sure I didn’t want it. I genuinely thought it would be better off without me but when I saw you at the party, your small bump under that dress I realised how much I missed you and how much I was missing out on.’ He paused, scraping a hand over his tired face ‘When I saw these I felt something I’d never expected to feel. I felt a swell of happiness inside as I looked at my baby and when Connie told me it was a girl… Well.’ He paused again, looking down at the sonogram in his hand ‘I knew that I wanted to be a part of her life. I want it all.’

‘Javier-.’

‘I’m not expecting you to take me back.’ He interrupted and you sat there with your mouth hanging open ‘But I want to be there for you... For you both. If you’ll let me.’

‘I uh-.’ You sit there with a gobsmacked expression plastered over your face.

You’d not expected that.’

‘I want to be there when she comes, hold your hand as you push our baby girl into this world. I want to hold her when she cries, sing her to sleep, albeit badly, and I want to support you. Take some of the load. I didn’t realise how much I wanted this, wanted her until I was faced with the possibility of never being able to have it.’

You sit there in silence. Tears rolling down your cheeks as you and Javier gaze at each other, a small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth as he leant forward and took your hand.

‘I swear to you that she will be my number one priority.’ He stated ‘I will move heaven and Earth for her.’

‘Okay.’ You replied, nodding lightly ‘But I need to know that when it comes down to the wire. She’s the one you choose.’

‘I will.’ He replied, smiling sweetly at you.

The rest of the evening went smoothly after that. You discussed arrangements. Agreed that he could come to your final scan before the baby was born and discussed living together initially afterwards. You’d ended up deciding on his apartment as it had a spare room and was larger although agreed it was a good idea to keep yours in case the arrangement didn’t work. You both hugged Connie goodnight. Thanked her for helping the two of your settle your differences and made your way down to your respective apartments but there was no longer an awkward air hanging over you both. Just quiet acceptance.

‘Thank you for agreeing to talk to me.’ He said sweetly, giving your hand a friendly squeeze as you came to a stop outside your front door.

‘Connie was right.’ You started, squeezing his back ‘We need to do what’s best for her.’

Smiling, he gave you a nod and a peck on the cheek ‘Good night Carino.’ He said softly, his eyes sparkling.

‘Why don’t you come in.’ You said, giving him a small smile ‘It’s still early and it would be good to talk a little more.’

‘Sure.’ He replied, following you in as you opened your door.

‘I haven’t got any alcohol I’m afraid.’ You snickered ‘Made me sad having it and not being able to drink it.’

‘That’s fine.’ He replied, smirking at you.

‘I probably have some coffee in the cupboard or I can make you a herbal tea.’

‘I’m fine.’ He replied as he let out a giggle ‘Don’t fuss.’

‘Right.’ You replied, lowering yourself onto the couch with one hand cradling your bump. ‘I look forward to being able to sit down on the couch again gracefully.’ You grumbled ‘Why they gave me an apartment with such a low one I will never know. Perhaps they knew I was going to get pregnant!.’

‘Perhaps.’ He replied as he sat down across from you and you turned your head to look at him.

‘So.’ You breathed.

‘So.’ He returned.

‘I have been trying to think of names.’ You started, leaning forward to grab the list you’d made and handed it to him.

‘These are all Spanish names?’ He questioned, giving you a bemused look.

‘Well, she’d going to have a little Mexican in her.’ You chuckled ‘Just because I hated you, didn't mean I wanted to deny her heritage.’

‘I deserved that.’ He replied with a wince ‘Well I have an aunt called Regina.’ He started, looking down the list’ She smells like beats and repeats herself all the time.

‘Veto on Regina.’

‘I like Elena and Luna.’ He continued ‘Oh and Rosa.’

‘Spooky.’ You said, catching his attention.

‘What is?’

‘Those are all my favourites.’ You replied with a smile and he beamed back at you.

You sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence, the two of you gazing at each other as you rubbed circles on your belly.

‘Whoah!.’ You said suddenly as you sat upright, eyes widening and you looked down at your belly.

‘What is it?’ He asked, his tone a little panicked.

‘She’s moving.’ You replied, grinning at him ‘Come feel. Shit, that’s weird.’

‘You sure?’ He asked, a little surprised at how ready you were to allow him back in.

‘Yes! Come on before she stops!’

He scooted over towards you, smiling when you grabbed his hand and placed it over your bump. For a few moments there was nothing and then… kick.

‘Whoah!’

‘Freaky right?’ You giggled.

‘Very!’

‘Imagine what it’s like for me. She’s doing it from inside.’ You chuckled and he grinned at you ‘She’s gotta be dancing the tango in there. Jesus!’

‘Hey, little one.’ Said Javi as he lowered his face towards your swollen belly ‘Settle down now. Mummy’s very happy to feel you moving but no need to overdo it.’

You chucked as you watched him talk to her, feeling her settle down inside of you and you rolled your eyes as he looked up at you.

‘Of course, she listened to you.’ You grumbled and Javier just shrugged.

You gazed at each other again, feeling the air between you crackle as he shifted himself so that he was more upright but no further from you. You saw his eyes drop to your lips and your own followed suit, tongue darting out to wet it before letting out a shaky breath in anticipation. As he pressed his lips to yours it was unhurried like it had been in the past. It was soft yet passionate and you felt yourself melting into it but soon it became heated, hands groping and tugging as you both desperately tried to deepen it.

‘I missed you.’ He whispered against your lips before his own started planting kisses down your neck.

‘Fuck.’ You moaned, feeling his actions going straight to your core but then your brain kicked in ‘Javi, Javi… Stop.’

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked as he pulled away, brows furrowed in concern.

‘As much as I’d love to revisit that.’ You started as you placed your hand on his chest ‘We need to take this slow. I can’t just go jumping back into bed with you. I need time to trust you again but if you’re serious about this then I need some proof.’

‘I want this. I want us.’ He urged, kissing you again with fervour.

‘And that's wonderful.’ You replied, pecking his lips ‘But I need a little time to process. Is that okay?’

‘Of course.’ He replied, flashing you a warm smile ‘We’ll take this as slow as you like.’

‘Why don’t we start with you staying over. We can talk a bit more, get to know each other again and then you can make me breakfast in the morning.’ You suggested, with a wink.

‘I think that can be arranged.’ He replied, pressing a tender kiss on your lips.

~

Chapter 2

[janiedean]

@seethemflying I think Sansa is in the next bracket down of important characters (with Jaime). In the outline, they weren't named as one of the big five, but in the process of writing have grown more important. No way is Sansa's ending going to be anything like Show Sansa's, though (and same with Jaime tbh).

agreed but lemme take a second from cramming to rant about this because I honestly have An Issue

in the sense: I 100% agree that both jaime and sansa are next bracket/secondary main (speaking as someone whose top five is made by ppl who are either secondary main or tertiary main if they have a pov like.... I'm not gonna argue that theon is a main fiver bc he's in my top three) but like what I can't deal with is the following as in that the main five are the main five bc they have in between them all the main themes george wants to tackle + the main plot stuff except for the 'romance is my #1 sense of existing in the plot', as in:

jon is azor ahai + has the chosen one deconstruction trope going on + most likely has the 'I never wanted to be Important™/have a throne but I'll have to for duty' ending + identity arc ie if he's not jon snow first of his name i'm eating my hat

dany has the dragons + the targ ancestry deal + 'I thought I wanted to rule but actually I don't I just want to help ppl' storyline (which is the hill i'm dying on)

bran has the oH WAIT fisher king deconstruction going on + the magic™ storyline + he's most likely kitn + he's tied to uh the literal rebirth of the continent so + how to deal with disability storyline

arya has the I NEED TO REALIZE WHO I AM storyline + the learning to be yourself as a gnc woman storyline + revenge is shit storyline + I'll become a skilled assassin and choose not to act on it unless absolutely necessary storyline + trauma/ptsd storyline tied to losing your own identity

tyrion has the shakesperean hero thing going on as in I have to make peace with the fact that I killed my father/did mistakes + overcoming the societal issues/problems/the prejudice most ppl have for him that’s caused by his disability storyline + he's the only one of these five who doesn't have any magical stuff in his background/only has his brain to rely on + overcoming his family's legacy and making it better storyline

now: a bunch of other minor/secondary characters have all of this (I mean idk theon and jaime have identity + learning to deal with/overcoming societal scorn given by them being disabled/having become disabled in various ways + ptsd, brienne has the gnc woman thing etc) but like each single one of these characters only lacks the OH I HAVE A BIGASS GREAT ROMANCE WITH MY BACKGROUND (I mean gendry exists to be arya's LI but idt it's gonna be important in her future storyline the way it'll be in brienne's to say one).. which oh wait SANSA JAIME AND BRIENNE HAVE, because guess what that's the next secondary bracket where those three characters have it as a main part of the story which is exempt from the politics angle (bc none of them is tied to the iron trap by the plot no none of them jaime doesn't want it, brienne isn't a contender and sansa was supposed to be queen in the beginning so she's obviously not going to be that later no not even qitn that's gonna be bran) and here falls the entire shebang because what half of this fandom doesn't seem to get is that *drumroll* george's favorite angle to tackle when it comes to romance is... THAT EXTERNAL BEAUTY IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING AT IN PEOPLE AT THE END OF IT AND GUESS WHAT THAT'S THE MAIN POINT OF ALL OF THEM PLUS THE KNIGHTHOOD DECONSTRUCTION THING and with that I mean:

not counting that sansa's reaction to trauma is written to be specular and opposite to arya's as in arya tends to lose sight of herself/becomes someone else/resorts to violence to survive sansa never loses track of herself/her innate kindness which... is smth I wish dnd remembered, the thing is: sansa is presented in the beginning as 'i'm a twelve year old with all the issues with shallowness a 12yo brought up like me can have and everything I want from life is a good love story', which... guess what she's 100% going to get except

characters need to have an evolution, if sansa wants a handsome pretty guy who'll make her queen in the beginning and she has to realize joffrey was The Worst, do we really think her endgame is being queen of a handsome nice king when her entire schtick is liking songs about knights and wanting true love and someone gentle and brave blah blah? no, and that's exceedingly obvious when the text throws at you in the face that her only two actually viable choices for LI - sandor and tyrion - are.. guys who are either disfigured or disabled or traumatized or all three of them but are actually good people and she has to learn to see beyond looks, and no one else fits that bill period - sansa isn't getting with a pretty guy who'll make her queen, sansa will find love with a guy who's nowhere near pretty or handsome but will love her for who she is and that she will see the good behind the not-handsomeness dot and she'll prob go back north with him and be happy advising bran bc she learned stuff in court at most and I'm dying on that hill, bc again the entire point of her sl is having the nice good love story where she sees beyond external beauty which has been clear from page five of her first pov imvho

never mind that again she wants to be a queen in the beginning and then she realizes it's shit so why would she be one in the end? like not to be that asshole but george isn't exactly pro monarchy and it's obvious he's not going to paint it as an inherently positive thing

this attaches back to the fact that there's a whole knighthood deconstruction happening for which sansa has to realize that the gallant/true knights are not the ones who seem that/look like it/flaunt it around

which brings us to the fact that oh wait sandor and jaime in themselves are true knights in spite of the fact that sandor refuses to even consider himself one and jaime thinks he fucked it up and no one sees them as such

and that the truest knight in westeros who will get recognized as such is brienne

who doesn't look standard hot either

and has the love story with jaime right on page

and jaime also has the love story right on page where he has to realize he's into people that aren't c. especially brienne and so on which is what's happening right now like jb recognizing themselves as true knights™ is part of their whole thing like... it's... important

(this counting that san/san is beauty and the beast played straight with sansa as the beauty while jb is the same trope except reversed on itself five times because both j and b are both of them)

and this would also like make utter sense if oh, wait, jb weren't in the riverlands where sandor also is and if oh wait who has sworn a vow to find sansa like again I'm dying on the hill that brienne kills stoneheart, they go on the quiet isle to recover, sandor is like AH YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SANSA and sansa gets rescued in the vale by the only three true knights in these series including the one that's her actual love interest at least the way I see it and where do you think that's going to end yeah exactly

as in: she'll have the umpteenth proof that all the true knights in these books don't look like the songs and she'll get the one she wanted

(also brienne is way more like sansa than arya in personality so like... parallelism of two girls into romantic stuff getting with the guys they like? except that for b. it's relevant bc she's ugly and she gets with hot guy who's into her and for s. it's relevant bc she's hot and she goes with guy-everyone-considers-a-lost-cause showing that they're not exactly a lost cause)

like sansa is there to a) have half of the main love story plot b) as the resident song expert witness what knighthood actually means, jaime is the resident person doing things for love and finding ways to do it that aren't toxic/finds someone who'll actually love him and not what he represents, brienne is the resident 'I never thought anyone would be into me and I'm pursuing my dreams without a shred of hope they'll go well' and she gets all of that and sandor is there to be sansa's LI and to tell ppl that you can go to rehab and have a decent life even if you were used and abused to hell and back (jaime too tbh) and like none of that has to do with the iron trap, the magic, the zombies and whatnot but it's okay because it's their point in the plot and is2g I just wish people would take characters for what they represent instead of shoehorning them into others's themes/stories just because it's what they want for them, the end

(I could rant about the third bracket of characters ie theon & co & getting over trauma/ptsd without the Love Story™ but I have to get back to study if I wanna fill some prompts later so it's not gonna happen for now but... sorry for the rant I'm just really tired of the whole sansastark will get the iron trap and the north and be the ymbq and get with a guy that looks good for her depending on what we ship not considering the overall reaching plot or her book plot and everyone else will have zero relevance in the story because we said so especially when it means giving all of that to a character who is uh not belonging to any of the categories represented by the main five which are actually kiiindaaaa relevant rep but I'mma just gonna shut up here)

[kaypeace21]

Stranger things is about mental health & trauma- deal with it!

I’ve seen a lot of people claim anyone who mentioned this topic immediately be gaslit and told they’re “just crazy” and “rudely projecting their own issues on to the characters.’ Like- no you don’t have to believe my  Will DID/Lonnie theory ( I could be wrong). But to claim one of the show’s central themes isn’t about mental health/trauma (screams either complete lack of lit comprehension or denial cause you have your own negative biases towards such people). So let’s just go into what’s literal text-not subtext/symbolism. Just the super blatant stuff.  RIGHT IN THE SHOW!

S1

-We have El when she first appears on screen  asked by Benny if her parents starved and hurt her and if that’s why she ran away. Benny then calls CPS to say El “may have been ab*sed or something.�� After this Lucas says there is “seriously something wrong with her-wrong in the head. She’s probably from the NUT-HOUSE in curly county.penthurst” We also see El  cannonically has PTSD-all of s1 she’ll see something benign (a cat, a coke commercial, a closet) and is triggered to see a traumatic flashback. That’s literally ptsd.  There’s also hints throughout the seasons she’s developmentally behind in both language, telling time etc (neglect like El’s irl can cause an intellectual disability-analysis on El/that subject here).The real pethurst in pensylvannia (not the one in stranger things/ Curly county)  closed in 1986-  it was a facility for people and mostly  kids with intellectual disabilities (it wasn’t technically a psych facility like the one in st)-but it was infamous for it’s abuse of these intellectually disabled patients kept there. We also have Brenner be a ab*sive psychiatrist.

- Hopper after suffering from the loss of his daughter. Is popping pills like candy, drinking and smoking constantly. He later says he used to hallucinate and forgot what was real -seeing and hearing sarah and says if he didn’t confront the pain he’d “fall down a black hole he couldn’t get out of.” NO... subtext here about what the void represents nope.

- Both mothers (Terry & Joyce) are dismissed as being mentally ill and simply grieving the loss of their kids . But both end up being right about the supernatural.

- “Terry pretends Jane is real. i mean it’s all make believe. you know the doctors all say it’s a coping mechanism.”

- While with Joyce the whole town pre s1 already questioned her mental health. Jonathan says “She used to have anxiety problems (pre s1).” And Jonathan, Hopper, and Lonnie all assume she’s hallucinating: talking to Will via lights, seeing a man without a face, saying Will’s body is fake -due to grief. Plus Lonnie mentions the fact Joyce’s aunt Darlene also used to hallucinate as a possible reason  (terry’s aunt also had mental health issues mentioned in s2 by Becky). Lonnie even says everything Joyce is seeing  is “all in her head.”  Hopper and Jon both say she needs to sleep and accept reality and Lonnie says she needs to see a “shrink”.  Hopper “i’m not saying that you’re crazy”. Joyce : “no, you are.” Joyce also says to Lonnie “Stop looking at me like that... like everyone else like i’m out of my damn mind.” Hopper also says about Joyce she’s “on the edge”. Callahan says in response , “she’s been on the edge for a while now” (referring to her mental health- even before Will’s dissappearance)”. While Lonnie says Jonathan is “feeding into her hallucinations ... you’re going to push her right over the edge.” In s2 Hopper says “ I think everyone is on edge- you, me, Will most of all. (when talking about Will’s ptsd/trauma)” 

- in s1 They claim Will just “fell” over the edge of the quarry’s cliff. Later the only other queer coded character (Mike) jumps off the quarry cliff (where Will’s body was found) cause the homophobic troy forced him too jump. Troy even says earlier dead-Will is “flying with all the other fairies all happy and gay” (to Mike). And Troy says to Hopper El made Mike “fly” after jumping off the cliff. Friendship saved him from jumping off the edge metaphorically ( and he’ll prob eventually be happy and gay too).

s2/3

-Will is seeing a therapist . And we are told he has ptsd and will experience the anniversary effect, personality changes,nightmares, having episodes, etc. And things “will get worse before they get better”.  Mike also asks if what Will is seeing is “real or like the doctors say all in your head?” And Will continues to see hallucinations of the mf/upsidedown that only he can see initially.

-Hopper also agrees with owens mentioning how he knew guys with ptsd . joyce : “it’s not like he’s describing a nightmare. He talks about them like they’re real.” Hopper: “Yeah, because they’re not nightmares they’re flashbacks.I think he’s right about trauma.I think everyone is on edge (bringing that s1 ref back), Me you, Will, most of all.Nothing’s gonna go back to the way that it was. But it’ll get better.In time.”

-Nancy suffers from survivor’s guilt and drunkingly says she killed Barb. Jonathan says like Nancy he has “a weight that you that carry all the time . i feel it too.” (cough depression). He also says he tries to be there for Will but says about Will “he’s not the same. maybe things can’t go back to the way they were. (mirroring Hopper’s words earlier that season)”

-Jonathan said in s1 Joyce had “anxiety issues” than Nancy says in s3 “you really are your mother’s son... you worry too much.” Then we see him look worried after the comment.

- in s2, Axel & a scientist both call El and Will “schizos” because of their powers. In s3 mrs driscoll isn’t believed about the supernatural cause she’s schizophrenic-but like Joyce/Terry was right.

- Kali saves a woman named Dottie (a british slang term for crazy)  from a mental hospital and then compares herself and El to dottie. saying her non-powered gang is “Like us ...outsiders... society discarded them.”  In graphitti we even see the title “obedlam” a british poem about discarding the mentally ill and leaving them homeless.  El before this sees a mentally ill man screaming “we’re all dead!” Kali’s friend says to El, after this encounter they were “dead all of us” until kali “saved them here” (points to head) “and here” (points to heart). Pointing to the theme of love and friendship helping those with such issues. Similar to the cliff analogy.

-The cycle of ab*se. Max in s2 says she’s afraid of becoming like Billy (her ab*ser). We see Billy mimic his ab*ser neil and inflict pain on max. In s3 we see the roots of his behavior are linked to mimicking Neil- Neil in a flashback says  about baseball “what are you scared?”  “ did i raise a p*ssy for a son”. So young Billy later in a fight says to a boy “ what are you scared to fight me? fight me p*ssy. (as he beats the boy)” Deflecting his anger of his father on to someone else. In s3, We see as a kid he used to say to Neil “don’t hurt her” (his mom)-specifically after  Neil backhand slaps her -but we later see possessed Billy backhand slap Max (just like neil).  The resentment to his mother leaving - festered into how he views women and max negatively . And his attraction to mrs wheeler prob is linked to him subconsciously missing his mother. Max in s2 even says  he can’t take it out on her mother so he does so to her instead (we even have Billy hallucinate hurting mrs wheeler).We see in s2 the cycle of abuse is there- Billy mimics Neil, and then Max mimics Billy. Billy harrasses Max and yells “SAY IT!” (mimicking Neil).  Max like Billy later  yells “SAY IT” and uses a bat /violence to stand up for herself against Billy- which earlier she said she was trying to combat … explaining she can be angry like Billy sometimes but she never wants to be like him (her nickname symbolizing this: aka ‘mad max’).  Billy’s last dying words were an apology to Max- for becoming her neil. And we hopefully will see Max break this cycle.

- Will says his now memories (that he describes like dreams) are “growing “, “spreading “,and “killing”. While Kali says they need to face their father and (as Brenner) says El has to confront her “wound” or else it’ll “grow”, “spread” and “eventually it’ll kill her.” Kali says she used to be like El . She used to bottle her pain away and it “spread.” But she then says  “I confronted my pain and I finally began to heal (from those wounds).” We also see with jonathan and nancy when describing “shared trauma” zoom in onto the scars on their hands. The wound heeled into a scar so to speak.

S2 & 3 ENDINGS

both have Hopper do a speech that delves into dealing with trauma/depression but still finding good along the way.

-s2 Hopper outside the snowball: “how are you holding up? Yeah, that feeling never goes away. It is true what they say, you know. Everyday it does get easier.”

-s3 Hopper monolouge : “ Feelings jesus. For so long, i’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place,in a cave you might say , a deep dark cave (cough s2 supernatural cave). For the first time in a long time, i started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. Life... yeah sometimes it’s painful .sometimes it’s sad, and sometimes it’s suprising... happy.. And when life hurts you, because it will .remember the hurt . The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave.”

BUT YES- St has nothing to do with mental health/trauma, we’re just “crazy” and “projecting”. It’s not like some of ya’ll  act pompous when you just have a bias and get pissy at the idea of relating to characters you “other” as “crazy” or “damaged” irl or anything (so attack people for pointing it out). Or (benefit of the doubt) you are just like.... oblivious... or just a kid who doesn’t know better XD

[toukenramblings]

Dating Headcanons: Buzen Gou, Matsui Gou, Samidare Gou

There isn’t enough fanart of Samidare, this is a crime. How dare.

Anyway it’s about time I finally got to this! I’m really nervous about writing for the Gou boys and I won’t lie that I looked to @sword-brainrot​‘s headcanons for Buzen and Matsui for help and I do hope that I’m not like...ripping anything off. I’m sorry if I am! I’ll do my best though!

Warnings: Blood since ya know...Matsui is Matsui.

Buzen Gou

Bu-chan no doubt is a man who is very ticklish. He’s already pretty physically affectionate with you before the relationship, giving you sideways hugs when asked and as you two grow to be more comfy with each other, it leads to lil tickle fights. No im not say that you two during confessed during the tickle fight tf

But if you are also a morning person and often see Buzen running, he will happily ask of you to join him! You two will do all kinds of exercise routines together and sure he’ll slow down to accommodate your pace until it’s him at a brisk jog and you are at a full run because hOLY HELL ARE HIS LEGS GOOD.  

Buzen won’t notice his feelings for you for a while, not until someone comments on it. Most likely will be his brothers though, who will notice that he will often slows down to a grinding halt when around you during his runs, sometimes just walking by your side in a comfortable silence instead of dashing on ahead.

Buzen will hesitate to confess, but if he did, it will be something along the lines of: “Slowing down is rather difficult for me. But it’s wonderful to do so. Just being by your side, existing in the same space, taking in the sights around us. It’s beautiful. But my heart...” he would place a hand on his chest, right over that organ, “Is always running faster than I could ever catch up with whenever I’m with you. I think...I think I’m in love with you.”

The minute you return his affections, this man is over the moon! He is ecstatic! He wraps you in his arms, presses kisses to your face, all of the love he had been storing away finally coming to surface. All of the kisses, all of the hugs, all of the hand holding!

Daily runs with you are still going to be a thing. Now though they turn into morning and evening rituals. In the morning you two go on a brisk jog to start the day and in the evening you two will go on a small walk in the forest, holding hands and talking about your day before stopping back at your rooms and giving each other a lil peck of a kiss before you two go to bed.

There is no doubt that Buzen is an early riser and he can cook…kind of. It’s probably simple things like toast and butter for the carbs and nothing too complicated. It’s decent and it’s obvious that he cares. But Buzen does begin packing snacks for his runs, a lil energy bar for him and you!

There are times when Buzen wants to slow down, that’s when he’ll seek you out. Wherever you are, he will find you with a gentle smile pressed upon his lips, wrapping his arms around you and inhaling your scent. Will put his head in your lap or make you put your head in his lap. Whatever works! Lap pillows all around. Buzen will want you to slow down as well, take in the time you two share. Who knows when it will end, huh? Don’t be surprised for Buzen to whisk you away when you’re stressed and have too much to do. He’ll take you out for a lil walk to clear your head, holding hands all the time.

The rest of his siblings are not so subtly screaming about wedding bells behind both of your backs.

 Cuddle bear? Cuddle bear.  In public his PDA is rather sporadic, depending on how he feels. Don’t think that he doesn’t love you or anything, but it ebbs and flows with how he feels at the time. Sometimes he’ll wrap an arm around you, a cheek kiss, holding hands, and sometimes it’ll be silence and then all of a sudden a random kiss outta nowhere in front of his brothers. Of course he is very respectful of your space too, and most of the time it’s just hand holding and hand kisses.

Back to the ticklish Buzen, Buzen is rather ticklish so he will almost scream if you have cold hands against his warmer skin. It will turn into a tickling match if you try to tickle him though. So tickle him at your own will.

Oh dude he loves picking you up randomly, princess carries are his specialty. Piggy back rides, whatever! He just wants an excuse you carry you!!!! Just to be close to you!!

Buzen adores homemade things, and will most likely have something of yours to hold on to during missions. It gives him a bit of a sense of home, because it’s not a physical place, you are his home. If you made him something to take on to missions he’ll cherish it with all of his heart. In turn, this extends to you as well. He is pretty good with his hands, can sew and knit a little bit as he picked it up probably from the other swords around the citadel. Will make small little trinkets for you and the best thing he can do is a scarf. A rather…messy scarf but warm none the less.

Yeah Buzen will sometimes take off his shirt during his runs just to tease you, winking his eye as you flush.

Will also adore horseback riding with you!!! Horses are fast after all and he probs raced against one but like, just hanging on to him intimately as you two have a day to yourselves?? Best.

Matsui Gou

It…takes a long time to get a relationship with Matsui. It’s slow, full of ups and downs, pains and sorrows yet happiness. Matsui doesn’t speak of his feelings often and doesn’t show them. On the outside it is a calm sort of façade, keeping you at an arm’s length. He does not dare to let you into his mind, oh so full of blood and sin. Even the idea of being near you scares him.

One day you had wiped his nose clean from the crimson that dripped from it, and Matsui was almost ready to faint at the close proximity. Heart hammering in his chest. A part of him wants to run, and he almost does. At the edge of his chair, muscles screaming at him to flee. But there is another part of him that just…wants to be closer. He kept those feelings silent and dormant for so long, hesitant to let anyone in. Why would he when all he is good at is being a weapon? To spill the blood of the enemy? It hurts to be around you, it almost makes him cry.

 It’s going to take a long time before he even tries to open up to you, and when you do confess, Matsui almost thinks it’s some kind of cruel joke. It’s not that he doubts you, it’s fate that is just so cruel to him. Why would you love him? Who set you up to this? Was it his brothers? Matsui will ask for time for his answer, mulling over it for quite a while, going on expeditions to be away from you in order to get his head sorted out.

When he does return your affections and confession, his hands will shake, never daring to look at you and whispering something that is oh so faint, “I…you know as well as I do that I do not deserve you, master. I am a weapon, we all are. In hindsight, it is forbidden to enter a relationship with us. We are killers, we ruin the lives of people. But…I do not want to leave your side. I want to stay with you…if you will have me?” and there may be tears pricking at the edge of his eyes. Hug him, give him a kiss, PLEASE.

Matsui is the most selfless of lovers. He knows heartbreak can happen in a relationship and will not mind if you leave him, even if the thought terrifies him. He is oh so willing to do anything and everything for you! In his own little ways of course. It might just be as simple as waking you up in the morning or helping you sort paperwork or just existing by your side. As long as he can be with you and breathe the same air as you, he is happy.

Matsui is not the biggest on PDA. If he does want it/if you want to initiate it, there’s always some sort of ask. “May I hold your hand?” “May I kiss you?” “May I sit beside you?” Matsui is a man that respects boundaries and has some of his own. It will take a while for him to become comfy with the idea of a relationship and PDA. He is trying his best after all, and sometime he is a little distant. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for you, he’s just having trouble sorting out why the hell you love him so much?????

 Like Buzen, Matsui also has a fondness for little homemade things. If you make him something, Matsui might start sobbing right then and there. You care about him so much? He doesn’t understand it! Hug him please, rub his back and soothe him. Matsui does enjoy shopping and will most likely find some kind of item at a store for you to hang on to while he’s away! During missions he will not let this little trinket of yours leave his side – Gods save the one who breaks it/steals it.

Be very patient as you are patching up Matsui. He may flinch at your touch every now and then before melting into it, cheeks flushed and sometimes trying to not show you how it affects him like this. He will also hold your hand during his repairs.

 If you have some sort of skincare routine or into fashion, expect Matsui to watch you in utter awe. He will pick up some magazines about such things and will accompany you will you shop. You two will have a shopping date together and it’s sweet! He loves pampering you and being pampered in return! He isn’t a wasteful spender though, having a bit of a budget. But sometimes he can’t help it spending a lilll bit over it just to spoil you though!

Getting him spontaneous gifts makes him bury his face in his hands, trying to hide his flushing face and nosebleed. Kiss his cheek and take care of him during this time, sweetie! He’ll appreciate it!

Matsui also values nutrition so don’t be surprised if you see him and Kuwana in the kitchen or Matsui with any other sword that knows how to cook. Matsui can cook, kind of, but he will want to watch your health. He makes rather simple healthy meals whenever he can, giving them to you. Reads all about human nutrition and knows exactly what to make/ask for from Kuwana to help give you a boost in energy or to fulfill your hunger.

The day Matsui holds your hand out of his own volition in public is a sweet one, his cheeks flushed and fingers lacing with yours, squeezing it tightly as though you will disappear. Reward him with a kiss and watch the blood drip from his nose from pure excitement…and maybe pass the fuck out.

It’s no secret that Matsui is a very private person. He won’t talk much about his life and it’ll take a long time for you to get past the hints or the lil self-depreciating jabs he makes at himself. All he asks is that you are there for him, be an ear for him to talk to.

Matsui is also the kind of person who leaves behind little notes for you while you’re busy to cheer you up. Simple little things signed by him with a lil snack or something, left outside of your office when he knows you’re swamped with work. He is almost sporadic with these sorts of instances.

Matsui has nightmares a lot and loves it when you run a hand through his hair, lulling him to sleep. It’s one of the few times he can sleep properly.

Samidare Gou

Samidare is nothing short of loyal. He is a ‘dog’ after all, and his loyalty towards you will never waver. He’s not Hasebe levels but more so of a quiet observer. There are times when he is there watching over you in silence, like a ninja yes, but then there are times when you surprise him by calling him out. He will jolt and ask what it is you will need but will slowly come to seek out your presence. It brings him a sense of comfort, and who knows, he kinda looks like a puppy trailing after you after all.

It’s probably someone (be it his brothers or someone else close to you) that notices Samidare’s habits. The way he lights up whenever you are around, one could almost see the slowly-hurried wagging of an invisible tail behind him.  They will confront him about this and Samidare almost has a lightbulb form over his head. He will stop for a moment, sitting down, head in his hands as he ponders over this new revelation. You do make him happy after all and again he does follow you around like a puppy…but it’s almost different? His heart races when he’s around you, for the better. He wants to hide in the shadows but does not, to bask in your light.

And then one day you suddenly start noticing these little poems at your office desk, in an envelope with a wax seal of no one’s crest, as though someone had used your personal belongings to make it. You can see that your drawers had been slightly rummaged through and you were ready to see who the hell it was but when you open the letter it’s a haiku??? Of love??? Who the hell?????? And then the letters will not stop coming over the next few days.

You immediately begin to file down the suspects: Kasen, Izuminokami, Mitsutada? Who else could be into poetry like this? Of course there is someone around the citadel who can’t keep his damn mouth shut and you eventually pry the information out of them. So you immediately go and make your own poem to confess back and dash over to Samidare. When he sees that you figured him out, his cheeks go full red and there is a mumble under his breath, you can see his hands shaki- is that another letter in his hands? “Yes…I did indeed make those letters for you. I do not know if you…will return my feelings but, I wanted to tell you that you are important to me. There are not enough poems in the world to tell you how I feel or…or well…do forgive me if you do not return my feelings.” And then you pass your own poem to him, his face practically goes even redder as he reads it. Pull him into a kiss right then and there, do it, do it for me. Make him flush even more red, make him pass the fuck out.

Samidare is rather neutral with PDA. He won’t mind it in front of others but will absolutely go red if you initiate it. He won’t initiate it often unless you two are in private. Only then will he turn into a big ol cuddle bug.

Head pats. He almost preens whenever you give him a head pat. He will lean into every touch you grace him with, whining and whimpering whenever you leave him. Samidare is also very much into neck and shoulder kisses, so don’t be surprised if he comes up behind you silently (you can always tell its him though, no one else closes in on you like that with such gentleness) and gives you kisses on your skin when you two are alone.

Samidare adores spending time with you, so you two make it almost a habit of going for a daily walk in the forest or out in the city/town. He adores exploring and finding new places to spend his time with, and since becoming your romantic partner, the enjoyment has only tripled! He just has to hold your hand during these times too!

Murakumo may be a bit jealous of how close Samidare is with you, but when he sees how happy you make Samidare, he relents. He knows that you would never hurt him and besides, all of the Gou family approves of the relationship! As long as Samidare is happy, Murokumo will be happy! Will be subtly planning your wedding when you two aren’t looking.

Samidare does get a bit jealous at times as well. He isn’t the type to be angry or anything, and he’s a bit of a sulky person when he’s jealous, like a big ol puppy. He’ll try not to show it though. It’s kind of obvious when you two are along and he just clings to you like no tomorrow.

Samidare is also rather quiet, and is more than willing to sneak up on you. Though after you two got into a relationship, he has become much more in tune with you if you’re a jumpy sort of person. He doesn’t want to alarm you! So when he is going to sneak up on you to give you a hug, he’ll normally whisper in a calm voice, “I’m here.” And wait for you to come to him. You can just lean back into his embrace and he’ll catch you!

If you think Hasebe or Tomoe are super in tune with your schedule, you haven’t met Samidare. Samidare always seems to know the right time to pop into your study and get your mind off of things. He’ll find his way into your office through door or window, with a snack in tow or just a hug.

Lap pillows. Oh man he loves laying his head on your lap and letting you run your fingers through is purple hair. Dude it’s the bEST. He falls asleep right then and there. If you ask for a lap pillow, Samidare will happily return the favor! Also will switch up being the spoon in bed. Big spoon? Little spoon? Who cares?! As long as you two are together, hugging it out, comfortable in each other’s presence, he is happy!

There is no doubt that this man is protective of you. The citadel is fine, everyone is able to kick some ass and none will dispute your authority but outside of the citadel? With strangers???? No fam, you are going to stay safe and protected, he’ll fight the world for you.

Also adores puppies! He loves animals and if you take him to like an animal café or the zoo, you’ll lose him within the first few steps into the damn place. Of course he’ll always come running back to you. No worries! He’ll find his way back!

Don’t think the poems are going to stop when you two are beginning to date. Oh no! In fact every morning you wake up with a poem. It could be one already written by a famous poet, or one that Samidare makes up on the fly, inspiration coming from just gazing at you. He will also deliver poems to you to cheer you up. In fact, the poem you wrote your confession on is always kept in his pocket whenever he’s out on a mission or something. It’s his good luck charm! You could have an entire little album of poems he’s written for you at this rate.

[chemicaljacketslut]

tell me about ghost’s it onscreen PLEASE... <3 mwahmwah

okay WELL. it’s for the gays obviously…. can’t decide whether to make it 2 movies, a tv show, or just a really long weird experimental like 6 hour movie… prob 2 movies tbh… uhh idk how to organize my thoughts about it but. okay so it will be a little cheesy. a little camp. leaning more into the romcom aspect, focusing more on the characters. but preserving the horror aspect still obv. the charm of It 1990, the budget of It 2017/19, the fanservice of It happens at rockwell…. best of all worlds…… talented brilliant incredible amazing showstopping spectacular never the same totally unique completely not ever been done before

so the kid part would be like 2000s and the adult part would be like. late 2020s.. so we’re not even there yet lol idk what that part would be like.. i think covid definitely happened in this timeline but fucking HOPEFULLY it’ll be over and done with by 2030 so it won’t be like. a present thing. uhh okay so idk if it’ll be early or late 2000s? like i was gonna say early but then i really wanted to wedge wii tennis by splash daddy in there & have them playing wii and the wii didn’t come out until 2006… also i want it to be set in the 2010s bc that’s when i grew up and that’s what i have fond memories about and also that’s closer to the 30-ish year time jump the 2017 movie took from the book/1990 miniseries but all the demand i’ve been seeing is for early 2000s and im here to give the people what they want… so idk. but anyway. i think making the kids 13 instead of 11 was a good choice and made it more relatable to audiences bc there were definitely way more 13 year olds watching It than 11 year olds so i’d do that too

richie WILL be making a cd mix for eddie and richie WILL be an 80s music fan who thinks he was like born in the wrong generation bc todays music isn’t REAL music (as a kid, i’d like to think he abandons this mindset by the time he comes back for derry 2.0). if it were set in the 2010s bev would be obsessed with silly bandz but everyone wants 2000s so ig she’s not 🙄🙄 and if this were 2010s ben would be a one direction fan but if it’s 2000s he’d be like an nsync fan or something. im keeping all the original encounters from the book (mike’s bird, stan’s dead boys, richie’s werewolf) bc they’re literally better… i think i won’t use the movie thing of mike’s parents dying in a fire? but idk i haven’t made my mind up yet. i just like to stay loyal to the book lol.. but ok the twist of bill having actually just pretended to be sick? yeah i’ll keep that that was good. richie’s bi and eddie’s gay obv. maybe stan uses they/them pronouns and nobody acknowledges it or anything they just go with it like even pennywise. just there to piss off the cishets yk. i will preserve eddie’s leper encounter from the book better than any historical artifact it will be exactly the same along with the eddie-sonia confrontation ofc. i’m also gonna keep the smoke hole scene i think. i think it & the whole way they fight pennywise WILL confuse audiences but that’s their problem tbh im not pulling an It chapter 2 with it sorry i won’t coddle u. for the post-richie-bill fight losers-separated montage im either gonna stick with dear god bc what a good choice fr or wii tennis.. tbh im leaning towards wii tennis unless i find a better song lol. no child gangbang scene please & thank u. then at the end of the kid part there will be a montage of all the losers leaving derry set to fleetwood mac’s the chain & on the bass buildup during the bridge there’ll be shots of the group saying goodbye as one person leaves and getting smaller and smaller (and growing older) until it’s just a lingering shot on mike. teenage dirtbag will be in there somewhere.

keeping some of my fav book details for the adult part here like richie listening to madonna’s like a virgin on the radio driving in for derry 2.0 & eddie wearing gucci loafers. also the apple-solutely line. also when richie walks in mike WILL say “richie! you son of a bitch! get over here!!” as a lil reference hehe. i’ll probably keep the encounter scenes from the book here too, although idk how i’d execute them bc it’s just a lot of walking around and thinking… flashbacks i guess? i’d figure it out. miiiight preserve eddie’s little crush on greta but i’d make it pretty explicitly comphet if i did bc i canNOT have people walking out arguing eddie’s straight not in my fuckin adaptation so i prob won’t. i think eddie should find the old cd mix richie gave him somehow and listen to it and gimme! gimme! gimme! is one of the songs on it and he has like a gay awakening. but maybe just subtextually/implied? like that’s the song that comes on and there’s like a very pointed shot on him being like uhhh. bc the tragedy of eddie’s character is that he simply Did Not achieve true clarity until his death and while of course i WANT him to achieve clarity before then im not straying that far from the canon that’s what fics are for. so. there will be a reddie kiss when he’s dying though fucking OF COURSE andy muschietti ur a fuckin coward. umm derry 2.0 battle i was trying to find a (preferably 2000s) song to have playing and i settled on seven nation army for now so. there’s that. it’s not set in stone though. the music of stillness will play when eddie dies it will be a whole drawn out scene and there will be a reddie kiss & also right before his arm gets ripped off there will be a motif from eddie my love that plays. yeahh. also richie will be fucking devastated after just saying and it’ll be him and bill that defeat It like in the book & then they all crush Its heart together etc etc… or whatever happens in the book im tired & don’t remember if that was just a movie thing….. uhh anyways It will not have eggs that they have to kill i think that’s like not a necessary detail and this will already be way too long. the audra/tom sideplot thing will exist though but will probably be more condensed. richie will again be devastated post-pennywise defeat and will 100% have to be dragged away from eddie. i think they are going to leave eddie there but not fucking by richie’s choice they will drag him kicking and screaming out of the sewers. there’ll be a “but he knew well enough” scene once they get out of the sewers where he like kicks the sewer opening thingy or whatever but the audience will have to glean the but he knew well enough part on their own bc i will not be having a narrator lol. there will be a whole montage of richie mourning like the kissing bridge montage— and i think i will def keep the kissing bridge detail bc that was a GOOD idea— set to eddie my love. bc im evil. :) and thennn im still looking for a good song for the ending… there will be a scene w mike recounting like in the book & the book ending scene with audra but THEN one final montage about all the losers forgetting each other. bc that is so fucking sad. but i haven’t found a song for it yet so hmu with ideas

okay so that was A Lot and i have more ideas but i’m tired and still need to watch at least SOME of the new season of barry so that’s all for nowwww