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omgeto · 1 year ago

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☆ I WANNA BE YOURS — GOJO SATORU

summary: your best friend was used to picking up the pieces of all your heartache. and he's been idly waiting for the day that he could have you all to himself — but when he you give him a chance just for you to snatch it away you realise you might just loose more than his heart.

w/c: 3.3k

cw: afab!reader angst to fluff, you break his heart and put it back together again by giving him a great big blowjob so mdni! also unprotected sex (its more like making love if you ask me)

an: I actually really fw this fic. id say it was my best one yet so give it a chance people, just like how you should give gojo a chance. since he's actually super loveable here. hope you enjoy!

gojo satoru was hopelessly in love with you, and everyone seemed to know that, but you. he was your best friend, someone that you relied on, depended on, its been that way since you were kids. ‘she’d never see me that way,’ he’d whine to all his friends about you, whenever they’d see you together, holding hands, cuddling, but still proclaiming the title as ‘just friends.’

you were currently crying in his arms, as he consoled you, caressing your back. gojo was used to this routine by now – you’d get a boyfriend, they’d break your heart, and he was left to pick up the pieces. “i just don’t get how this one failed, i thought i was doing everything right,” you mumble, your voice breaking as you sniffle against his chest.

“they just don’t appreciate how great you truly are,” he comforts you, a silent “i do though,’ left unsaid, as he stares down at your tear stained face.

“satoru?” you ask, pulling slightly away from him, “i'm pretty, right?”

“don’t even ask me that shit,” he scoffed, “you already know the answer.”

“just answer.” you did know what his answer would be already, but you just had to hear it, “i just need to know why all my relationships end.”

“listen to me,” he demands, tenderly holding your face in both of his hands, his gaze unwavering as he looks at you, “you're beautiful. you always have been, and it's not even just your looks, it’s your whole being, everything about you. there’s nothing wrong with you, you just have a terrible taste in guys,” he finishes with a goofy smile trying to lighten the mood.

“yeah, maybe you're right,” you reply with a soft sigh, your gaze dropping to avoid his intense stare. It was both comforting and unnerving how he could always see through your insecurities.

“i don't say things i don't mean, you know that.” he tilts your chin up gently, forcing you to meet his eyes once again. “anyways we should prob–”

you press your lips against him, interrupting his sentence, and he eases into it, his lips moving against yours with no hesitation. but you pull away as quickly as you kiss him, your eyes widening as you realise what you’ve done. “shit im sorry satoru, i didn’t mean that.”

the air around you seems to shift, the atmosphere heavy with the weight of the unexpected moment. you can feel your cheeks flushing, and you look away, unable to meet his gaze. his fingers brush against your jaw, gently guiding your gaze back to his. the intensity in his eyes is undeniable, a silent acknowledgment of the shared feelings that had been hovering beneath the surface for so long.

"fuck that," he murmurs, his voice low and tinged with a mixture of determination and vulnerability. he closes the gap between you again, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle, lingering kiss.

the softness of your lips against his is a sensation he’s dreamt of, and now that it's happening, it's even more intoxicating than he imagined. his hands cradle your face, his fingers threading through your hair as he deepens the kiss.

his lips move against yours with a skilled finesse, his breath mingling with yours, creating a heady mixture that leaves you breathless. your fingers find their way to his hair, tangling in the silken strands as you pull him closer, your bodies pressed together.

“satoru, i need you.” you tug against the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his. you were desperate, craving his touch, “need you to make me feel better.”

gojo took your words seriously, aiming to make you forget about all the heartache you’ve ever felt with those other guys, and focus only on him. he lays you down on the couch, unbuttoning your shirt, pulling your tits out of your bra.

“don’t worry, ‘m gonna take care of you,” he mutters, pressing kisses into your cleavage, until his lips eventually circle your nipple, suckling and pulling at it. you gasp slightly at the feeling of his tongue swirling on your tits. your hands go back into his hair, roaming through his scalp, tugging hard as he bites down on your nipple.

his mouth remains on you, his hand trailing down into your underwear, rubbing circles on your clit. you whimper at the contact, feeling yourself getting wetter as his fingers enter you, he starts off slow pushing his digits in you gently.

“is this okay?” he asks, he wanted to make sure you felt good, that was his priority. he grins as you nod, too caught up in your pleasure to verbally respond. his quickens his pace, gyrating his fingers into you, pressing another searing kiss on your mouth.

you were dripping over his digits, as they pistoned in and out of you, but your hands reach out to his belt as you moan out, “‘toru i wanna feel you.”

“you wanna feel me huh?” he teases, unbuckling his belt with his free hand, he pulls out his hardened dick and strokes it a few times before rubbing it down your wet slit – teasing you with just his tip.

“c-c’mon,” you whine, grinding your hips down against him. he smirks at your excitement, forcing his dick inside you, your eyes widen as your pussy stretches and gojo can only bite down on his lips as you clench around him.

“you feel so good, y’know that right” he murmurs, forcing himself into you deeper, “so fuckin’ tight.” his eyes stay fixed on you, he loves you like this – pinned under him, clawing at his back, your mouth parting at the pleasure that he’s giving to you.

your legs wrap around his hips as he sinks into you further, you could feel his breath on your neck as he whispers in your ear, “you’re perfect, this is perfect.” he sucks on your collar bone, kissing and biting as he continues to thrust into you.

“‘you’re t-too much, i-it’s too much.”

“but you’re taking me so well,” he argues, with a grin. peppering kissing against your neck as he fucks you to a hilt. your hands find their way back into his hair, pulling and tugging at it as you moan out his name.

his dick twitches inside you as you call at his name, you could feel that he was about to cum. his strokes were getting sloppier, and his mouth went from biting to sucking on your neck. you could feel yourself about to climax, scratching at his back, as he continues to hit your spot.

“toru, i’m about to–”

“cum with me,” he demands, thrusting into you a few more times before you both reach your peak. and just before he’s about to release into you, his whispers a barely audible “i love you” right in your ear. he sprays your walls and you cum all over him, mixing in with him. he slumps down on you, pressing his forehead against yours, his dick remaining in you as he catches his breath.

as you finally disentangle your bodies, gojo reclines on the couch, a blissful smile gracing his lips. his breathing gradually transforms into gentle sighs, a sure sign that he has succumbed to sleep. you weren’t oblivious to his feelings towards you – the way his gaze would linger a little too long, how his hugs would be tight and comforting. he was in love with you – and you didn’t know how to deal with that.

all of your relationships never lasted, they always had an issue with something you did. you ruined them. and you didn’t want to ruin gojo, you’ve been together since you were children and he’s always been so good to you. you couldn’t bear the thought of causing gojo pain.

your gaze lingers on him for a moment longer before you turn away, your mind racing with a storm of thoughts. you've been friends for so long, and the prospect of losing that connection is heartbreaking. but you also can't ignore the truth that's been staring you in the face – gojo's feelings have crossed the line from friendship to something deeper.

as you quietly gather your clothes, your heart aches with conflicting emotions. you've always been there for each other, and the thought of hurting him tears at your very core. with a heavy sigh, you dress in silence, your mind a whirlwind of thoughts.

“you’re really just gonna leave?” he calls out behind you as you head to the door, your hand frozen on the handle.

“satoru,” you gasp, turning to face him guiltily, “i thought you were asleep.”

“you were actually just gonna leave?” he accuses further, ignoring your comments, “after this, after what we just did?”

“this doesn’t change anything,” you say shaking your head with your eyes closed, you couldn’t see his face.

“it doesn’t change anything?” he scoffs, standing up, walking over to you, “how can you say that? after i've given you my all, literally everything i can offer to you, and that still isn’t enough.”

"i was scared, toru," you ramble, the truth spilling out of you, your voice catching as you admit your own fear. he was upset, this was the last thing you wanted, him looking at you, his eyes pleading for you to choose him,"i've seen how my past relationships have crumbled, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you too."

his gaze softens for a moment, his fingers itching to reach out to you. "but things can just go back to the way they were with us," you continue, your words wavering, unsure if they're just a desperate attempt to keep things safe and familiar.

“i think we both know they can’t,” he says bitterly, his hand clenches at his side, “just answer this. why was it never me?”

“i’d ruin you,” you explain, your hand reaching out towards his, a soft smile on your face, “you’ve seen how i am with all those other guys. you’re too good for me.”

"no, I'm not good enough for you," he concludes, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and sadness. he takes a step back, his expression conflicted, as if grappling with his own internal turmoil.

with your eyes brimming with unshed tears, you watch as he rushes past you, his departure leaving an ache in your chest. "you stay, I need to clear my head," he mutters, his voice strained, and then he's gone, leaving you standing there, torn between your fears and the feelings you've been trying to deny.

as gojo stormed out of the apartment, his emotions were a tangled mess within him. the mixture of frustration, hurt, and longing had him feeling like he was caught in a whirlwind. he couldn't believe how everything had escalated so quickly, how he had allowed himself to be vulnerable, only to feel tossed aside.

“suguru, i fucked up,” he cries into the phone to his best friend, his voice laden with distress, “i fucked up so bad.”

“satoru, calm down,” geto tries to soothe him, his tone steady, “what exactly did you do?”

“I fucked her,” he forces the words out, a mixture of regret and frustration in his voice, and he could sense geto wince on the other end of the line, “she kissed me, and i fucked her.”

"that's a good thing, isn't it?" geto's voice holds a note of confusion.

gojo's sigh came through the phone, heavy with a sense of defeat. "bro, she doesn't love me back," he practically wails, the weight of his realisation crashing over him, "she doesn't love me back. i got too greedy, she gave me an inch and i took it too far.”

"are you sure?" geto inquires, his tone thoughtful, "she wouldn’t have agreed to have sex with you if she wasn’t feeling something. i've seen you two together, i've seen how she looks at you. she loves you."

"if only it were that simple," gojo mutters, frustration lacing his words. "she said it doesn't change anything between us. that it was just a moment of weakness."

there was a pause on the line, geto processing gojo's words. "look, satoru, I know it's not easy, but maybe she's just scared. she literally just got out of a break up too, she’s probably just overwhelmed."

"but what if I've ruined everything?" gojo's voice was laced with uncertainty. "what if I've made things worse?"

"you won't know unless you talk to her," geto advises, his voice gentle yet firm. "honesty is the best way to navigate this situation. tell her how you feel, listen to what she has to say, and go from there."

gojo sighs, his tension slowly easing as he absorbs his friend's words. "you're right. i need to face this head-on."

"good, this whole ‘will they? won’t they?’ schtick that you two have going on, has gotten old. very old.” geto finishes, abruptly ending the call.

gojo takes a deep breath, feeling a mixture of anxiety and determination. he knew he had to confront the situation, to lay his feelings on the line and hope for the best. with a newfound resolve, he gathers his thoughts and prepares to have the difficult conversation that lay ahead.

“you came back,” is the first thing you say, when gojo enters the apartment. you couldn’t gauge his mood, his expression was off, and you didn’t want to upset him further.

“well it is my apartment after all,” he spits out a bit too coldly, his words laced with tension. however, his face softens as he takes a step toward you, the coldness melting away,, “besides i didn’t go far, just outside.”

you nod in acknowledgement, not knowing what to say. your uncertainty making it hard to find the right words. the atmosphere is tense, and you're acutely aware of the weight of the situation between you.

"i had some time to think," gojo starts, his voice softer now, "and i realised that running away from this won't solve anything."

his words draw your attention, and you meet his gaze, searching for any clues in his eyes. "satoru, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. i shouldn't have acted on my emotions like that."

“it’s ok i-”

“no it’s not okay,” you insist, stepping towards him grabbing his hand, “i never should of acted that way, disregarding like you’re nothing. i was wrong.” you had time to think after gojo left, and you knew you were being unreasonable. there was a guy who was ready to love you, give you his all, and you were just going to throw him away without a chance.

he weight of your words hangs between you both, the air thick with the shared acknowledgement of your mistakes. and as the intensity of the moment settles, a newfound sense of clarity takes hold – the understanding that your feelings for each other can't be ignored, no matter how much you try to suppress them.

“you really fucked w my feelings y’know,” gojo’s words hang in the air, heavy with hurt. his eyes bore into yours, his emotions laid bare.

“i know,” you reply softly, your voice laced with regret, “and i’m so sorry toru. i never meant to hurt you like that. i was scared, and i didn’t know how to handle my own feelings so i lashed out.”

gojo's gaze softens, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. "you were scared? of what?"

"of losing you," you admit, your voice quivering slightly as you reveal your deepest fear. "you mean so much to me. you're my best friend, and I was afraid that if we crossed that line, it would ruin everything we have."

a mixture of emotions passes over gojo's face – surprise, realisation, and something else, something that you can't quite pinpoint. "you think being with me would ruin our friendship?" he asks, slightly offended.

you shake your head, your eyes locking onto his. "no, that's not what I meant. I just... I've seen how my past relationships ended, and i didn't want the same thing to happen with us. i didn't want to hurt you or lose what we have."

“i love you.” he declares simply, “that’s all that matters.” you couldn’t even respond because he was right, nothing else mattered. he places a gentle kiss to your forward, wrapping his arms around you.

“let me make me it up to you,” you whisper, looking up at him bashfully through your eyelashes, “let me show you how much i love you.”

“you don’t have to–” he starts, but he pauses, taking a sharp inhale as your hands slip into his jeans. you peck his lips before working his way down to your knees. you take his dick out, licking your lips as you stroke him, massaging his dick. you pepper kisses all over the tip, still keeping your eyes trained on him.

“c’mon don’t be a tease,” he whines as you focus on his tip, sliding your tongue around it as you continue to pump his dick with your hands.

you take him into your mouth, its warm and wet as you suck him in. you move your hands to cup his balls with a firm grip, massaging them as you continue to twist your mouth on his dick. you can hear him lightly cursing, drying his best to moan out at the pleasure you’re giving him. but you were determined to get him to cry out your name.

he was loving the sight of you, mouth stuffed, slobbering all over him. you were sloppy, just how he liked it, using your saliva and his precum to glide your mouth over and over his dick.

“f-fuck,” he stammers, biting down on his fist, he usually last way longer than this. but the difference is you, he would’ve never had imagined that there’d be a day you’d be on your knees all pretty, swallowing his dick. but now that you are, he wanted to burst.

you could tell that he was close, so you jut your head faster, using your hands to pump what your mouth can’t cover. he thrust into your mouth, aiding you in reaching his climax, forcing his dick deeper into your inviting mouth.

“you’re mouths t-too good, it’s–” his hands rest on your head as he releases into your mouth. you swallow all of him, licking your lips, satisfied.

“now toru,” you coo, with a smirk standing up to face him, “can you see how much i love you now?”

the rest of the night was spent just like many others you had shared together over the years, wrapped in each other’s arms in the comfort of his bed. this time, however, it wasn’t masked under the guise of friendship, you now exchange kisses with ‘i love you’ said in between each one.

AN: and that is all folks, TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS I actually dislike the friends to lovers trope, not gojos biggest fan, and I hate sucking dick BUT I LOVE IT ALL HERE. HE'S ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY SWEET, AND DONT U JUST WANT A GUY THATS DOWN TO JUST LOVE YOU! DIVIDERS BY @/CAFEKITSUNE.

#stampedwithanE★#jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut

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justmeinadaze · 9 months ago

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Secret Underneath (Steddie X Plus Size You)

"She's got a secret underneath (she's got a secret underneath) Yeah, she's his naughty little freak (yeah, she's his naughty, little freak) She likes to put on a show (she likes to put on a show) She likes when he takes control (she likes when he takes control)"

A/N: This came from utter annoyance at men online and just desperately trying to find a confident man who cares.

ENJOY!

Warnings: Sugar Daddies Steve and Eddie/ Baby Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, daddy kink (cause im me), blindfold, toys, voyeurism (I guess. They watch her pleasure herself on cam), dirty talk. Sub/dom dynamics, oh um age difference even though its not mentioned (guys are about mid to late 30s and Reader is in her mid to late 20s)

ANGST, Reader is assaulted by an ex (mentioned but not expanded on) boys comfort her, mentions of her wanting to be held and tired of feeling lonely, guys online try to flirt in the beginning but she shuts them down. I think that's it. Cliffhanger ending because again...Im me.

Word Count: 5555 (ooooo :P)

“I can take care of a young little thing like you. You’re perfect”

“If I’m perfect why do I need someone to take care of me?”

“Do you want to help Daddy finish, baby? My big hard cock needs some help.”

“Oof a real Daddy doesn’t need to announce how big his cock is. Try again, little boy.”

“I bet a little girl like you needs to be put in her fucking place, you stupid fucking slut. Now get naked and send me nudes or else.”

You role your eyes as you promptly block the person who sent you the message. When you signed up for this sugar baby website you were hopeful to find someone who wasn’t like the “men” you had talked to on regular dating apps. You wanted someone who knew what they were doing, confident, and could handle your sass without running.

You had met a few who could live up to the title but none you wanted to keep around long term.

Sliding your mouse through the images, you found a profile that intrigued you. The image attached wasn’t of one man but two and it didn’t show their faces. It wasn’t odd for the Babies to want anonymity like yourself but your profile picture at least showed all of you in your curvy glory with a mask blocking your eyes and lingerie blocking everything else. Daddies always felt the need to show off so usually their profile images accentuated their faces and/or their money.

These two, with an account named Mogul/Rockstar, were only photographed from the neck down and it was definitely a picture they took, not some professional or anything like that. The man on the left had a black, well fitted suit with his admittedly gorgeous hands holding a glass of whiskey. The man on the right was a bit less put together with torn jeans and a blue jean vest over his bare chest just barely blocking the tattoos that peaked out. You assume he must have long hair because the ends of wavy locks rested on his shoulders.

When most men reached out to you it was with some silly pick-up line or innuendo. This profile, however, simply sent you one word; “Hello.”

(8:45pm) “Hey there. Not much for words?”

(8:47pm) “We imagine you’ve heard them all. : ). “

(8:48pm) “Are you really two people? Or do you just have an extra ego?”

(8:48pm) “Oh or let me guess! Your dick is so big it counts as another person.

(8:50pm) “I mean my friend IS a big dick but lol”

(8:51pm) “Yeah, honey, it’s really two people. We like to be clear about that. Any Baby that becomes ours would be just that; ours.

(8:53pm) “We’ve learned pretty quickly not many women feel comfortable with two Daddies which is absolutely fine and why we are up front.”

(8:54pm) “How up front are you being really when you don’t show your face?”

(8:55pm) “Hm. Not a yes girl. I like that. It’s good to ask questions.

(8:57pm) “We do that for a couple of reasons. One being we are well known faces so we don’t want a Baby to choose us solely on that.”

(8:57pm) “Because you don’t want to be embarrassed?”

(9:00pm) “Asking questions is good. Interrupting isn’t. Don’t do it again.”

(9:01pm) “Or what?”

…

(9:08pm) “Or what, huh?”

(9:15pm) “Fuck you! Ignoring isn’t very Daddy like!”

(9:16pm) “Oh? Did little baby get her feelings hurt? We don’t ignore as punishments but you aren’t ours yet, sweetheart. If you don’t want to follow any rules that’s fine. We can just continue looking and you can be a brat with someone else.”

(9:18pm) “I’m sorry.”

(9:19pm) “What’s the other reason?”

(9:22pm) “Actually, that’s the biggest reason. Our fame gets in the way of a lot of things if you can believe it. Expectations are ruined and certain ideals are put in place.”

(9:23pm) “My reputation as a rockstar makes some ladies think I can’t be soft and I definitely can. Our image isn’t solely who we are.”

(9:25pm) “I can understand that. Being a bigger girl people think I’m either desperate or my weight becomes a fetish to them. Which, I mean, fetishes are fine but men make me feel like…it’s the ONLY reason they are sexually attracted to me.”

(9:26pm) “And not because of your personality. Yeah…”

(9:28pm) “Is that why you’re a bit of a brat? Lol need to weed out the idiots?”

(9:30pm) “Something like that. Lol.”

(9:32pm) “Baby, I think my friend and I are in agreement that we’d like to try this out if you’re willing. You don’t have to see us or do anything you don’t want. Per the anonymity that was mentioned, we aren’t going to give our names so you don’t have too either. We also won’t be showing our faces so, again, you don’t have to.”

(9:33pm) “More than anything, we just want someone to look out for and talk to. Maybe make you feel good from time to time if you let us.”

(9:35pm) “Ok, Daddy.”

(9:36pm) “Good. Good girl. : ). We can talk on here until the three of us get more comfortable and then we can give you our numbers so you can talk to us there or individually. As you can imagine, rockstar travels a lot and so do I for deals so we aren’t always together 24/7.”

(9:40pm) “Are you both friends or partners?”

(9:42pm) “Friends for sure.”

(9:43pm) “Ok, baby girl, we’ll let you go but we’ll talk to you tomorrow. Get some sleep.”

(9:45pm) “Good night, Daddy.”

(9:46pm) “*Daddies”

(9:48pm) “Good night, honey.”

(9:48pm) “Sweet dreams, princess.”

As you laid in bed that night, you couldn’t help but wonder who they could be. You did some quick googling of businessmen who were friends with rockstars but that was stupid because that was a very common friendship found within industries. Rolling over, you plugged in your phone to charge it, pausing when you heard it ding.

Mogul/Rockstar deposited $300 into your account!!

Wow. No man had ever sent you that much just for an introductory conversation. Maybe because it was two of them they felt the need? As you drifted off to sleep, you found yourself getting more and more curious about them, dreaming of possibilities that may come to be.

############

That first month went by a lot smoother than you expected it to when it came to this account. They were incredibly kind and genuinely seemed to care about your day and what you were up to. Any time you voiced any kind of concern, they listened and did what they could. For example, you wished you could tell who was responding when since at the moment they replied as one. A few minutes later Rockstar changed his text to be red so you knew you were talking to him.

When it came to finances, they were more than generous, giving you a set amount of $500 at the end of each day. They never once asked for anything sexual or made innuendos about their bodies or yours.

As the second month began however you found yourself getting antsy.

(6:42pm) “May I ask a question?”

(6:43pm) “Yeah, of course, anything, honey.”

(6:45pm) “Can we do something…I mean can you help me…”

(6:46pm) “We can help with anything, princess. You just have to ask like a big girl.”

(6:47pm) “Can you…help me cum…”

(6:47pm) “Please, Daddy.”

(6:48pm) “We can do that for you, pretty girl. If you want. You remember the rules?”

(6:48pm) “Yes, Daddy.”

(6:49pm) “You don’t even have to turn on your camera or mic or anything. You can just…watch me.”

(6:50pm) “We never do anything we don’t want to do.”

(6:51pm) “But we would love to watch you cum. Do you have toys or were you just going to use your fingers?”

(6:53pm) “I have toys, Daddy.”

(6:54pm) “I actually just got this rabbit vibrator but I have no idea how to use it.”

(6:57pm) Mogul/ Rockstar has invited you for a video chat.

Biting your bottom lip, you grab your mask and pull it over your eyes, checking your appearance in the camera box before clicking their link. The camera box was still just their image from the site which you expected but was pleasantly surprised when a husky voice flowed through your speakers.

“Hey, honey. You don’t have to turn your mic on if you don’t want to. We just thought it would be fair since you’re about to vulnerable with us.”

You smiled as you turned on your microphone.

“Is it vulnerable? It’s just…masturbating right?”

“I mean, are you playing with yourself on the internet for just anyone?”

The second voice that followed through sounded extremely familiar as if you heard it somewhere before. It was incredibly sexy none the less.

“No.”

“Then I would say you’re being vulnerable, babe. Jesus, you are really beautiful by the way.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”, you beam.

“Can we ask why shorts and an oversized shirt? Most women wear the lingerie or a bra and panties.”

“Or are totally naked.”

“I just want to be comfortable. I’m not roaming around my house in a bra and panties.”, you giggle. “I take those off as soon as I get home from work.”

“Very fair. We’ve never asked what you do. Do you feel comfortable telling us?”

“I’m a teacher. Another reason for said anonymity.”

“Again fair.”

“Um, may I ask, whose voice is whose?”

“Yeah, pretty girl. I’m the Mogul.”

“I’m the rockstar.”

Smiling, you nod but you find yourself completely unsure of how to proceed. Usually, you could play innocent and do what you needed in the bedroom but something about these men were making you…

“Honey, are we making you a little nervous?”, Mogul asked in a sweet tone.

“Yeah a little bit. I’m sorry.”

“No reason to be sorry, sweetheart. Can you do your Daddies a favor and show us the toy you got?”

Like a little kid in a store, your smile grew as you opened the box by your feet and produced the pink vibrator, displaying it for them to see.

“Is that your favorite kind of toy?”

“Usually men are but—” You quickly covered your mouth with your palm not meaning to let your sass slip out like that. Again, you were surprised when you heard both men laugh.

“I like that sassy attitude.”

“The confidence to.”, Mogul adds. “Don’t cover up that personality for us, baby girl. We’re big boys. We can handle it.”

“Most men can’t.”

“Most men aren’t us.”

“That’s for damn sure.”, you smirk as your thighs rub together.

“Why don’t you take off those short for us, sweetheart?”, Rockstar suggests as you nod, rising from your chair to bring them down and toss them aside. “Good girl. Can you open your legs for us so we can see that pretty pussy?”

Licking your lips, you close your eyes as your open your legs giving them a good view.

“Open your eyes, baby girl, and don’t move them from the camera.”, Mogul commands in a firm tone. “Jesus, man. I bet she tastes really fucking sweet.”

“And is really fucking tight. That toy is going to stretch you out I bet.”

You moan at their words as you tease your slit with the end of the vibrator.

“I wish you both were here to help me.”, you whine as you palm slides under your shirt to massage your breast.

“Go ahead, honey. Push it into your cunt and tell us how it feels.”

Mewling, you easily guide it inside of you, the subtle vibration against your clit driving you crazy.

“Fuck, it feels so good, Daddy.”

“Yeah, princess? Fuck, I’ve never wanted to eat a pussy so bad in my life. Look at her. I just want her to ride my face till she cums over and over.”

“Fuck…yes.”

“You’d like that, baby? Make a mess all over Rockstar’s face.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Such a dirty little girl. Can you say it for us?”

“I’m…I’m a dirty girl. Fuck, Daddy, it feels so good inside of me.”

“Fuck, baby girl. You’re so fucking sexy. Make yourself cum.”

“Can I, Daddy? Please. I’m so close.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. You have our permission.”

Your body shook as you came, your hips grinding against the toy as you elongated your high.

“Good girl, honey. Very good. Come back to us.”

“Th-thank you. Thank you.”, you grin as you bite your lip. “Wait, did you guys cum? I wanna hear it.”

“This was about you, babe. We didn’t touch ourselves.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that we’re really fucking hard though after that display.”, Rockstar laughed.

“Are you serious? You guys didn’t…at all. Most men do.”

The image in their camera box suddenly changes and their laps from the waist down come into your view. Both men were wearing shorts and you could vaguely see their bulges poking through. Their hands were gorgeous, one littered with rings that you assumed belonged to the rockstar.

“Again…we aren’t most men.”

“Don’t make us have to remind you again.”

Nodding, you softly apologize as you lean back in your chair.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you pouting?”, Mogul asks in a tone that makes you smile.

“Not really. I just…I wish you could hold me.”

“Yeah…yeah, princess, we wish we could to.”

“Will you ever trust me enough to show me your faces?”

You listen as they heavily sigh.

“Maybe. Let’s just take this one step at a time, ok?”

After your good nights and lying in bed alone, you don’t know why but you begin to cry. You had been alone for so long, broken hearted from the bullshit your ex put you through. You loved what the site offered but you wondered if that momentary high would be enough to sustain you. You just wanted someone who would hold you and tell you everything was alright. Someone who would take care of you and make you feel safe so you didn’t have to worry anymore about…everything.

As your phone dinged, you glanced at the notification that illuminated your screen.

Mogul/Rockstar deposited $2000 into your account!!

Hardening your heart, you reminded yourself that you were strong, squeezing your eyes tightly shut as you forced yourself to sleep.

##############

(6:15pm) “Hey beautiful. What are your plans tonight? Rockstar and I were thinking maybe the three of us could have a camera date and just talk. Nothing sexual.”

(6:17pm) “You don’t have to of course.”

(6:20pm) “Sweetheart, you know how we feel about you not answering.”

(6:25pm) “Shit, you guys. I’m so sorry. I was charging my phone while I was getting ready! I actually have plans tonight.”

(6:27pm) “Ooo that sounds like fun. Spending some time with friends?”

(6:29pm) “Not exactly lol My ex actually invited me to dinner so we could talk about some things.”

(6:30pm) “You’re going on a date?”

(6:32pm) “Um, I guess you can call it that.”

(6:32pm) “Is that a problem?”

(6:33pm) “We made it clear that if you agreed to be our Baby you would be ours.”

(6:34pm) “Virtually, yes, but the information and rules you gave me didn’t say I couldn’t go out on a date.

(6:35pm) “What. Did you think I was just going to be ok with not knowing who you two were and never having you two fuck me or hold me.

(6:35pm) “To not go on actual dates and feel wanted.

(6:36pm) “Needed.”

(6:38pm) “Didn’t realize you needed everything spelled out for you. Relationships take time. Like you we imagine, we’ve been burned before. We don’t want another whore who’s only dating us for our money or status. We deal with fake people enough!”

(6:39pm) “We like talking to you and you’re so beautiful. We WANT to see where this goes but if you’re in that much of a rush maybe this was a bad idea.”

This Baby is currently offline. You may leave messages for her and she will get this when she logs back in!!

***

(9:32pm) CurvyBabyWAttitude has invited you for a video chat!!

(9:34pm) Mogul/Rockstar declined your invitation for a video chat.

(9: 35pm) “Please…I need you…”

(9:38pm) “Now you need us? After your date I’m thinking didn’t go well since it’s 9:30.”

(9:39pm) “Try again, little girl. We aren’t the kind of men you use whenever you feel like.”

(9:41pm) “We have feelings to.”

(9:45pm) “What? No sassy come back? Nothing sarcastic you want to say?”

(9:50pm) Mogul/Rockstar has invited you for a video chat!!

“Jesus Christ. What happened, baby?!”

When you illuminated their screen, you were a complete mess. Your hair was frayed every which way and even under the mask covering your eyes they could tell your make up was smeared from tears. Your black dress that you had worn was torn at the sleeve, hanging down as you held it together with your hand.

“Did that fucker hurt you?”, Rockstar growled.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know who to call. I’m so sorry, Daddy. I should have stayed here with you. I’m just so tired of feeling lonely. As soon as that fucker showed me even a little bit of attention I just…”

You listened as they mumbled to each other, unable to make out what they were saying as you dried your tears with your fist.

“We’re in New York right now. Are you close to that state?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Do you trust us? Say it.”, Mogul replies sternly when you nod.

“Yes, I trust you.”

“There’s a hotel outside of the city. I’ll message you the address and room number. You follow the instructions we give you to the letter. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

***

“Hi, um, I’m checking into a room…under, um, Baby Girl.”

You cringe as you relay the information but all the young lady does behind the hotel counter is beam over at you as she types on her computer.

“Ah and here’s your key. Do you need an escort or anything?”

“Oh, uh, no, ma’am, thank you.”

“No problem! The gentleman said he would be right there.”

You glanced around you nervously as you rode the glass elevator up to the floor your room was at. You appreciated that they didn’t make you go to some run-down Bates Motel but you were still a bit on edge.

Heading for the door, you paused taking a deep breath before putting in the key and slowly entering the room. It was a modest little room but lived up to its five-star rating just on looks alone. Shifting your gaze, you realized quickly you were alone but noticed a note with the words “Baby Girl” on the mattress.

Lifting it up, you found a black silk eye mask one would use for sleeping folded underneath.

“Please place this mask over your eyes and we will be right in.

We know it took a lot of trust for you to drive out here so we’re trying to meet you halfway.”

Taking a seat, you sighed as you tried to put the thing over your head, struggling a bit as a bruise had begun to form where your ex tugged at your dress.

The sound of the door clicking and swinging slowly open caught your attention as you froze in place.

“Um, f-full disclosure, my eyes are closed as well. I couldn’t get this thing further down and I could see under the—” You point at the bottom of the mask as the door closed.

Cologne filled your nostrils as footsteps walked closer to you.

“Is it ok if I touch you so I can fix it?”

Your head tilted to the side at the sultry, smooth voice just above you.

“Yeah…who-who is this?”

“I’m the mogul in our name. Rockstar is on his way.”

“Were you two not together?”

You feel the atmosphere shift as he kneels in front of you and his fingers gently hold your head as he adjusts the mask to be more comfortable.

“We were but he wanted to stop and grab some things in the lobby. How does that feel?”

“Better, thank you.”

He withdrawals his hands but he doesn’t move as you feel his eyes scanning you over. Braving crossing a boundary, your hands carefully reach out and find his cheeks. Taking a hold of your wrists, Mogul helps guide your movement over his fluffy hair making you smile at how soft it is. When your thumb finds his lips, he exhales heavily and his warm breath has your pussy clenching around nothing.

Abruptly, the door beeps and opens again as the smell of cigarettes fills the room.

“Do you know how hard it is to find ice in this goddamn palace!?”

Your head tilts again as you try to follow the new voice as he moves about the room.

“And that would be the rockstar.”, the man in front of you assures as he pats your thigh and sits beside you. As he goes to release your hand, you immediately reach for him again, afraid of being in the dark now that they were here.

“Next building you buy should be a fucking hotel so you can put things where us humans can find them.”

You hear what sounds like someone being lightly hit as everything becomes silent again.

“Hey, sweetheart. Sorry. My mouth tends to move before my brain does.”, he replies in your direction at a bit of a calmer register as he bounces on to the bed beside you. “God, asshole got you good, huh? Ok, this is going to be cold.”

You yelp and wince when something freezing lands on your arm.

“I searched for like an actual icepack but I guess the 5 stars don’t include first aid.”

“Ok! I get it. You’re not used to fancy places, dude. Jesus.”

Rockstar laughs through his teeth making you smile again as your free hand reaches towards where you assume he is. Your fingers touch hair first and your eyebrows scrunch together as you realize you found the ends just above his shoulder.

“Yeah, I, uh, wouldn’t run my fingers through that. It’s all tangled. You may get stuck and have to stay with us forever.”, he chuckles before it trails off.

You can feel them both watching you as your palm finds his cheek and like with his friend your thumb moves along his bottom lip. They were a bit more chapped but based on the smell you assumed that was due to the cigarettes. As your hand began to travel down his neck, you paused and pulled away not wanted to make either man uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry.”, you mumble.

“What are you sorry for, honey?”

“I don’t mean to be…that much of a brat, you know. I like talking to you both to and I want to see where this goes but…I guess I’m like him sometimes.” You pause as you gesture towards the rockstar. “My mouth moves before my brain. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be my Daddies anymore.”

Both men were silent for what felt like an eternity before the ice was removed from your skin and replaced by lips. A pleasant sigh escaped you as he tenderly kissed your bruises.

“Why did you ex hurt you?”, Mogul asked.

“Because he’s a fucker.”

“Yeah, we gathered that.”, Rockstar teased as he leaned away from you but intertwined your fingers with his.

“He, uh, took me on a date to this tacky little restaurant that I told him a million times I hate and then on the drive home he insinuated because he took me out I’d want to…you know.”, you exhale as your head hangs. “I’m just so tired of being lonely. I just want someone to take care of me. ME. Not the supposed ‘whore who needs to be put in her place’ or ‘the desperate big girl’. I’m strong and I can take care of myself. I’m just…tired.”

Fingers tenderly moved your hair behind on of your ears.

“God, I love your attitude.”

“It’s not uncommon for us to constantly run into ‘yes’ people. It’s one of the problems we have with Babies. Always ‘Yes, Daddy.’ Or ‘Of course, Daddy.’ Sometimes we can’t tell if it’s them being genuine or pandering to us to get what they want. Which…I guess is fine but…”

“Not what we’re looking for.”

Your hands search for Mogul’s face and he grins as he leans in allowing you to touch him. When your lips find his, however, he hastily pulls back and rises to his feet.

“Hey, no, honey. You don’t have to do that. That’s not why we came down here.”

You feel yourself start to panic, losing your bearings since you can’t see. You had gotten used to them both being next to you and when he stood up you suddenly felt lost.

“I’m right here, princess. You’re ok. Everything’s ok.”, Rockstar murmurs in your ear as he squeezes your thigh.

“You don’t want to fuck me?”, you ask to the void, unsure of exactly where the other man may be.

A deep, guttural groan echoes in front of you as you turn your head towards it.

“I’ve never wanted something or someone so bad in my life, baby, but… that’s not why we came here.”

“He doesn’t want you to feel used. Your ex tried to do that and he doesn’t want you to feel like we’re the same.”

“I don’t. I don’t feel that way at all, Daddy.” Your voice had dropped into that little girl tone as you fully allowed yourself to be vulnerable for them. “Please…”

Lips connected to yours again but the taste was different. The nicotine that lingered on his tongue mixed with the slight taste of mint toothpaste set your body on fire as it fully came to life and you wrapped your arms around the man’s neck as he gently tilted you onto your back.

The bed dipped on your other side and you disconnected from one set of lips to another. You became lost in his kisses as his tongue danced with yours and their hands roamed your skin.

“We’re going to be gentle tonight, baby girl. Let us take care of you.”

You allowed them to undress you and waited patiently as they removed their own clothes. Lying on either side of you, they each lifted one of your legs over their hips as their lips and tongues sucked on your neck.

Rockstar’s fingers glided through your folds and you groaned loudly as he massaged circles into your clit. While running your hand through his hair, Mogul licked and sucked on one of your nipples making your hips buck as you searched for more friction.

“Please.”

“What do you want, sweetheart? You want my fingers?”

“Yes, Daddy, please.”

His nose presses against your cheek, his mouth opening in a silent moan as he effortlessly guides two of his digits inside of your core.

“Fuck. I was right. You are tight. Jesus, sweetheart, our cocks are going to stretch you open, baby.”

“Can…Can I have you both?”

“Can you handle that?”, Mogul asked with a slight whine of want.

“Yeah, Daddy. I can, I promise.”

“Baby girl, I don’t think you understand what you’re asking for.”, he chuckles and you listen as he sucks on what you assume is his fingers. “You may think we’re cocky but trust us we’ve earned the right to be.”

You suck in a breath as you twist your hips and feel two long thick fingers pushed into your ass as both men thrust their digits into you.

“Oh…my…”

“Can a little girl like you handle your Daddy’s big cocks inside of you at the same time?”

Your hands cling to the man in front of you as you passionately kiss him, his tongue catching your moans as you tremble and trench his fingers as you cum.

“Y-Yes, I can…I can handle it.”

They abruptly sit up and manhandle you around the bed, Mogul’s arms holding you tightly as he places himself on the edge of the mattress with his legs hanging off the side. Just as you had, his palm comes up to caress your face as his thumb traces your lips.

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” You softly smile at the sincerity in his voice while he circles your arms around his neck. “Just hang on to Daddy, ok? We got you.”

His hair tickles your nose as he tilts his head and grips his cock between your bodies.

“Shit, um, I almost forgot. Is it ok…I don’t think we have condoms.”

“It’s ok. I’m protected and I’m clean. You can cum inside me…if you want to…”

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re going to kill us. Ok, go ahead and baby let me know when you’re ready for me.”

“Yes, sir.”

You feel his mushroom tip tease your entrance making you both moan.

“Take your time, honey. I got you.”

As you slowly descend onto him, he sucks in a breath as your fingers thread through his hair.

“So big. Fuck, Daddy.”

“How does she feel, man?”

“Mmpf, tight. That’s it. You’re almost there.”

When you’re fully seated on top of him, his forehead leans to rest on yours as his humid breath fans your face. The action causes you to clench around him and he grunts in pleasure.

“Hang on to me.”, he whispers as he tips back onto his hands tilting you with him.

Rockstar spits in his palm behind you and you mewl as he rubs it between your cheeks.

“Are you ready, princess?”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m ready.”

Holding your ass open, he gradually slides into you.

“Oh fuck. I wasn’t expecting… goddamn baby girl.”

Ringed fingers take hold of your bicep as both men thrust into you at the same time hitting every spot inside of you that has you melting into them.

“Oh my God. Yes!”

“Yeah, baby? Fuck, dude. I don’t know how—mmm—how long I’m gonna last. Her ass feels so good.” A hand slaps your behind making you moan as another strong palm grips the back of your thigh guiding your movements as you bounce back into theirs.

Lips in front of you open mouth kiss your chest up to your neck as you push them closer to your skin.

“Please. Fuck, Daddy! M’gonna cum.”

Slamming their hips up to meet yours, your body quivers as the coil snaps.

“Atta girl, honey! Making a mess all over our cocks and coming hard like that. So fucking sexy.”

Clinging to them tightly, you allowed them to use you to chase their highs. The man behind you warms your insides first, grunting as his rhythm falters. The man in front of you soon follows thrusting his spend deep inside of you.

“We’re going to pull out, sweetheart, ok?”

“Ok, Daddy.”

After carefully removing themselves, you feel yourself being lifted into the air and spun around before being placed on soft pillows. A wet rag cleans you and you pleasantly sigh as you curl under the covers that were placed over your body.

“Are you both going to stay?”

Cool metal touches your skin as a hand pets your head.

“Do you want us to?”

“I promise I won’t look.”

Warmth encases you as they lay on either side, murmuring praises as you steadily fall asleep.

#################

When you woke up the next morning you were alone, finding a note on the nightstand that said they thought it best to leave before you woke up but that the room was yours for as long as you need and to message them when you made it home.

You did what they requested but decided to utilize the rest of your Sunday for yourself thinking about everything that happened. You heard your phone pinging but you didn’t want to talk to anyone wishing you could call in that following Monday. Unfortunately, you made a promise to a friend, you couldn’t break.

“Y/N, honey, are you alright?”, your colleague asks as she lightly elbows your side.

“I’m fine. Just an interesting weekend.”

“Alright, guys so this where all the important decisions are made.”, the building tour guide obnoxiously smiled as she guided the class around the office space. “Let’s see if the boss is available.”

“Well thank you for chaperoning with me. When Mrs. Ludwig cancelled I thought I would have to reschedule.”

“No problem. I know nothing about business and economics but…”, you giggle.

“Holy shit!”

“Mark!”, your friend shouts. “Watch your mouth! Jesus!”

“Mrs. Raymond, it’s Eddie Munson. The guitarist from Corroded Coffin!”

Turning your head in that direction, you realize two men are staring your way, one of them indeed the famous rockstar.

Rockstar…

Blinking you tilt your head as you notice the rings on his fingers.

That voice. I knew that voice.

“It’s not uncommon for us to see Mr. Munson around here. Him and Mr. Harrington have been friends for a long time. Right, sir?”, the tour guide asks.

“Steve Harrington? The business mogul?”

Mogul…

“See, Y/N. You know some things about the business world.”, your friend grins.

As the world around you seems to slow down to a halt, you three continue to stare at each other as you figure out where to go from here.

720 notes · View notes

ladybyakuya · 4 months ago

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| HIGH IN LOW PLACES + natsuki seba & yoichi nagumo.

+cw. — fem!reader, headcanon + scenarios format, canon typical themes and elements, mention of alcohol and drinking,ex.plicit smut{ mention ofunprotected, oral acts }, slight angst and fluff.

+wc. — 2k.

+syn.— how do they generally spend their off day ? Is it any different when you're with them?

+notes. — my sk days debut post. yay! yay! i just caught up with it and im still making memes in my head ( yeah, its that bad </3)tap the banner for better quality </3 cuz tumblr made it so whack after upload. the title is from a song by beach weather ( one of my recent favs ). i have some more wips on sk days but lets see if the starts align or they go against me. wanted add two more characters but i got carried away while writing. so next two for next weekend ig. if you catch my favoritism, then good. go ahead & exploit it ;) | redirect to blog navigation.

✦ natsuki seba :

The sun has not even kissed the horizon yet. It is still afternoon. Natsuki was busy building one of his work-in-progress weapons as usual even though it was an off day. The JCC is not exactly asleep but is surely a little doused today. JCC never sleeps. You are in his dorm room, waiting for him to finish his work at least to a certain stage and then have lunch with you but you doubt he is barely aware of what time it is. You are not exactly hungry, at least not for those wet soggy noodles but you do miss him even though he is right in front of you. There are times when you have to feed him lunch so that he can keep working. The dorm room is small for two but given the habits of you two, it always works out, somehow. You sleep when he is working while he sleeps when you are busy or out to get something. But currently, sleep is nowhere to be found at the banks of your eyes.

“Natsu, come eat with me,”

Seba turns his head at first and gives you a look; a look that clearly states: “Are you mad?” Do you know how ridiculous you sound? His eyebrows grow closer while his lips pucker forming a pout and then he goes back to working again. He is mocking you. He is working while you sit idle and flip through a porn magazine from his collection. It’s funny because the porn magazine is not his. It is from Shin. He was just looking out for him. Shin thought it was highly uncanny how a guy could make weapons all day and night, and be obsessed with something so odd that one forgets to masturbate. Doesn’t even have the urge? Or better does his curious side not think about such self-pleasurable prospects? Well, what would Shin know?

“Natsu, come eat me out,”

At first, he looks up from the device he was working on and then spares a glance at you.

You make yourself busy flipping through the pages of that lewd magazine. He is staring. You can feel it.

He goes back to work again but a second later he puts the miniature parts from his hand beside the device and turns his chair towards you rubbing his chin as his elbow stands on the hand-rest of the chair. He is considering it. Holy Shit. You did not mean that.

“Really? Can I?” There is a thin layer of sneer laced underneath his voice.

You closed the magazine and stood up, keeping it on his table. He looks at the cover and a chuckle escapes from his chest probably remembering how he got it or why you ordered him to eat you out; not that he would mind . . . his eyes are back on you again. “Now that I’ve your attention. Finish your lunch and then work on your project.”

“I’m going out to meet someone,” You try to leave but he grabs your wrist pulling you back in front of the bed.

“You're lying.” he snorts out a chuckle.

“You know,” Natsuki gets up and takes slow steps towards you as you back away cornering you as he still holds your hand. “eating you out . . . that might just be the thing I need to finish my project.”

Wait. what?

Before you can ask anything he just puts you on his shoulders, walks to the bed throwing you on the mattress. For someone who is a weapon engineer, who does not spend time on fieldwork he sure has a lot of strength.

“I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to get your attention that’s all.” you try to protest but it does not faze him, not even a little.

“Well you did a good job.” Grabbing your ankles he pulls you towards the edge of the bed before getting on his knees. He points to the cup noodles. “And, i’m not eating that.”

He pulls down your panties and shorts simultaneously. You do not stop him because you crave him as much as he needs this to de-stress or that’s how he would put it. Spreading your legs he places a trail of tender kisses along your thighs threatening your sanity, threatening the urge to push him away but you simply do not want to do that. You want this: him worshipping you like he used to. The moment his lips graze your entrance you arch back, hands resting on the mattress and crumpling the sheets as Seba gets more devoted to the cause. You put one of your legs over his shoulders as he buries his face deeper inclining his face a little to lap his tongue against your pussy lips. You bite your lower lip roughly before a whisper of words comes out of your mouth, “Ya know, you should return those magazines to Shin,”

“What?” he asks; nose glistening with your arousal, wet lips, cherry cheeks, and excited eyes. A curvature appears along your lips as you run your fingers through his hair and tug at it revealing his forehead forcing his eyes to close just for a second. He is still waiting for your response.

“Nothing. Get to work,” you say and he listens to it like a good boy.

✦ yoichi nagumo.

“Is it that tasty?” Nagumo asks drinking an o-choko full of sake from your share. His face distorts feeling the strong fizziness. “How can you drink this?” his voice spikes up as he gulps it down. He hates it, hates this, that how you on every weekend would to go Sakamoto stores and buy liquor to drink out your misery. What a waste! He does not understand why you would spend your weekends drinking, especially when he is here. Sakamoto would often tell you to stop drinking but what’s the point? You nod like a good girl, buy some cup noodles and chips and after the store closes Shin arrives with the booze. Shin is knocked out on the floor already. But he is still keeping up with you not that he enjoys it but he is looking for an opportunity to make you stop and in that process, he ended up taking a few shots. He hates it, he hates this. He hates how you make drinks. It stings on his tongue. This is not because he wants to spend his off day with you. He rarely gets a day off and he can not go that to waste, can he now?

“Wanna fuck?”

You look at him with heavy eyes and a flustered face for a few seconds. “No.”

He is stone-cold sober. He is not even that drunk, to begin with. You are. You are still so dizzy and slumber threatening your eyes but you force them open divulging, “Too much work.” Ah! The slur. The slur in your voice. His head tilts as a smile breaks on his face like a plague.

“I’ll do the work.” Nagumo insists. “All of it.” His voice is low, slow. He wants to get through to you. “I’ll make you feel so good.” He does not want you to dismiss his words as just a drunken haze or something like that. He is already neck-deep in guilt for being unable to give as much time he wants, as much as the time you demand and crave from him. He can not sabotage your security but he would not deny that he likes meeting with you in secret; gives him some sort of thrill he thinks. “I promise,” he mumbly adds.

But he does not want to overdo it or wear you out. He can’t. He won’t. He is a good when he is with you. “Woah, careful.”

After moving the bottles and cups aside, now you are all on your fours crawling towards him like a cat. He can see your boobs, the nipples— everything. Wait, is that his tank top? He must have left it when he came to you here last time. He can’t remember when but he remembers he lost that one black tank top.

As you reach, your face inches away from him you lean for a kiss but he sways away. It instantly ruins your mood. He is smirking now as you are pouting. It turns into a snort. “Shin’s still here,” He points at the boy sleeping on the couch. You glance at the boy and then look at Nagumo. He is confused. You are impatient. Fuck it.

You hold on to his shoulders trying to get into his lap, legs sprawled apart and as you make yourself comfortable your legs get clamped around his waist. He does not lose his balance but rather helps you with it.

“Babe, Shin’s still here,” Nagumo repeats making you remember.

“Don’t care,” you shout and Nagumo covers your mouth with his palm while his index finger stills over his lips shushing you. You nod. It seems he got through to you.

You do not allow him to dodge him anymore.

You lean into his hand that is still over your mouth, nuzzling against his palm. He shoves his fingers into your hair, his index finger grazing behind your ears igniting your skin with goosebumps. His thumb roughly stretches across your bottom lip before you kiss the tip of it but he swats his hand away before you could suck on it; grabbing his other arm and you slide it under the blacktop. Nagumo does not squeeze your boobs. Not yet. He does not want to do it, not like this. Last time, both of you were sober and now both of you are drunk: you on alcohol and him on you. You buck your hips trying to get closer to him.

“God Nagumo, why are you being like this? You said you'd do all the work. . .”

because it's amusing. The fact that you are scolding him with a whispering tone is making him tremble in mirth. He is barely holding it; you are frustrated, drunk, and horny. God! What is he going to do with you? Can he really hold himself back? Maybe he should not have proposed the idea in the first place. His hands are stretched, settled on the floor as he watches you: intently, nervously.

“Kiss me.”

And your lips instantly dance against his in a frenzy yet his hands are still on the floor. Even in this state, you manage to unbuckle his belt with one hand as the other works on the buttons of his shirt. It turns him on how swift you are too. You would be very skilled in his line of work. Maybe you are, too skilled that he did not even notice. Nah! you can't be a spy.

“Put it in” you command this time breaking the kiss. Nagumo was just starting to get to the good part of the kiss only to get deprived of it. He does not waste a second to abide by your said words. If he did, he might have to walk out thinking out the possibilities of how odd it was for a first meeting with you.

Strong hands against the plush of your hip as he adjusts his cock to your entrance. He pushes aside your panty before rubbing it against your entrance. Your hands squeeze the muscles of his shoulders.

“Without . . . condom?”

So, is that why he was delaying it? You thought he didn't want this but mentioned it for the sake of pity and now he is trying to get on your nerves to wake Shin up.

Your brain freezes after such a flow of info. You give him a nod.

Nagumo swallows before his cock goes inside without rubber. It's electric: the feeling of your flesh around his.

“Take me to that room,” you gasp out the words.

“What?”

“I said what I said.”

You become so handful when drunk not that he minds. He takes you to the room kicking back the door behind you to close before crashing onto the bed.

The next morning Shin has to buy a pair of black trousers for Nagumo and he does it without even questioning. He really does not wanna know what happened after he took you inside the room.

@underratedcharactercorner

@interstellar-inn

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veilkeeper · 15 days ago

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The Sacrifice of Souls, Part 2

alt title: why im putting corentin in the torment nexus

this is the second instalment of a 2-part essay series. the first part focused on the events of emmrich's quests, as well as my analysis and critique of his quest line overall. this part will focus specifically on the effects these choices have on the romance, as well as my thoughts on how i'm handling the events for my emmrichmancing rook, corentin.

spoilers ahead! beware that both essays are going to assume you have completed The Sacrifice of Souls and at least one of the follow up quests, Heir to the Dead or Will and Testament. if you have not, i suggest returning to this later and playing it out yourself.

so let's start with the most important question of the day:

what happens to the romance after the sacrifice of souls?

good news! no matter what you pick, the romance can continue on unabated. there's just some long-term details and tone changes that need to be considered.

if you choose to save manfred, be prepared for parenthood. previously, the game had poked at the idea of manfred being emmrich's kid, but now that manfred is talking and progressing at a rapid pace, he is in full "magic-flinging skeleton son" territory, and a romanced rook is going on that journey with emmrich. there is also now a near certainty that rook is going to outlive him—regardless of your personal headcanons, the game assumes that rook is younger than emmrich, and now that he's locked into a mortal lifespan that's something that needs to be considered. especially since, as discussed in part one, emmrich's fears of his own mortality haven't really been addressed at all.

but if you're into co-parenting a rambunctious skeleton with an older, gentlemanly necromancer (which, let's be real, is what most people signed up for when they hit those first flirt options anyway), then this path is probably exactly what you were looking for.

that said, let's talk about the lich romance angle. i was worried when i went down this path that the romance would just immediately end, but it actually doesn't! emmrich certainly wonders if it will—before he undergoes his rites, he has a conversation with rook about how they'll navigate a relationship once he's undead. he says that his senses will change, the way he feels (not about rook, but literally the way he feels) will change, and his body will be different. but they agree they can make it work, so hell yeah.

and if you like the whole "immortal lover" trope, there's some stuff here to like. the lich lords, when you arrive to bear witness to the rites, refer to rook as "challenger of the gods, volkarin's beloved", and emmrich waxes poetic about how even after rook passes, the way he feels about them will be immortalized alongside him. there's also a very sweet kiss before he goes into the rite, and rook has the opportunity to tell him they love him, just in case he doesn't come back out. and afterwards, they have a powerful, immortal skeleton boyfriend, so for the monsterfuckers in the audience.... nice.

so what's the catch?

if you're looking for a fairly unambiguously "happy ending", and if you like the idea of your rook parenting for the foreseeable future, saving manfred is your easy option. on this path, rook and emmrich will have many good years together before he dies. there's absolutely still room for angst here because of emmrich's unresolved issues, but there's definitely a more... domestic, low-key quality to this path.

the lich romance has some pretty glaring obstacles, and that's probably a big part of why a lot of people doing the romance might not pick this. first of all, he wasn't joking, he's literally a skeleton. he can put on a glamour for polite company, but he is a skeleton. realistically, intimacy is going to be complicated by that. on top of that, as a lich for the mourn watch, he's going to have certain duties that he can't get away from. myrna herself asks if they're going to be seeing less of emmrich now that he's a lich, and his answer is basically not yet. at some point, some time in the future, he is going to have to go into the necropolis to begin his lich duties and he won't really be coming back out after. so in a very real way, there is an invisible timer on the relationship where it'll basically be dead in the water unless rook makes some serious lifestyle changes* to accommodate that (assuming they're allowed to). so there's some built in angst with the lich romance that may or may not be your preferred flavour, because his job might end their relationship long before rook's mortal lifespan even becomes a consideration.

*theoretically a mourn watcher rook is going to have an easier time with that particular adjustment, but i'm speaking from my perspective as a LoF rook

decisions, decisions

this is the part where i start talking about my rook, but do us both a favour and keep reading, because believe it or not there is still some emmrich analysis in this part, and it might inspire you to do your own dissection for your rook, too.

so my rook is corentin laidir, and from the moment emmrich said the word "lich" he's been quietly freaking out about it. largely because of the whole "you're going to leave me to be a lich in the necropolis" thing.

i had hoped that resolving emmrich's quest line would give me a very clean solution to the lich freak out issue, and it does! ....if i liked the ending where we save manfred. which i don't. controversial opinion, but i don't actually care about manfred enough for corentin to be his second dad, and from a roleplay perspective i don't think corentin would advocate for bringing manfred back.

but on the other hand, the lich!emmrich option is quite literally corentin's nightmare. what corentin wants, at his core, is for emmrich to accept both manfred's death and his own, whenever it may come. he wants emmrich to understand that running from his own fear of death like that is beneath him. is it honouring death to defy it like that, even (supposedly) in the name of service? corentin would argue no, if he could bring himself to argue with emmrich about anything.

selfishly, corentin is also afraid of what eternity means. sure, emmrich says now that he'll always remember corentin and what they have, but what about a thousand years from now? he's afraid of being replaced, and of becoming insignificant to someone who is so, so important to him right now. in this life.

so the question becomes: do i choose an imperfect, happier ending that maintains emmrich's mortality, or do i throw corentin into an emotional blender?

why i'm putting corentin in the torment nexus

one of the problems of being a creatively-minded person while playing decision-based games is that there comes a time when you have to make a choice:

do i work with the options available to me, or do i pull out my scalpel and gut this thing?

and in moments like this, where neither option is quite right, i have no choice but to get surgical. pick what's interesting, and frankenstein that thing into something that works well enough to carry me to the end.

and the fact of the matter is, the lich path is just more interesting to me in this case because it's an angst machine, and because it makes sense for him to get stuck in it. if i dig into corentin's character, in that exact moment when a decision is made, there's no world where he's going to tell emmrich to give up on his life's work just to bring manfred back and stay mortal. but there is a world where he'd recognize that telling emmrich to give up on his life's work for a guy who loves him who he met five minutes ago is a dick move, and then he'd get completely caught off guard when emmrich says he's going to start preparing for his rites now.

so where does this leave corentin?

here's how i'm handling the situation for the time being, unless something comes along that completely revolutionizes how i feel about all this.

every time emmrich has talked about becoming a lich, it's always been a vague future thing with no real timeline attached. in hindsight, it's pretty clear that the only thing delaying the process was himself—emmrich was uncertain if he was willing to risk the danger of the rites. this uncertainty, however, has left corentin with the impression that even if he was 100% sure and raring to go forward, there would be tests and preparation that needed to happen first, and there would be time before the rites could happen.

so when the question of whether or not to save manfred comes up, corentin does what any good boyfriend would and he tells emmrich that he's dedicated his life to potentially becoming a lich, and he needs to be really certain before throwing that away.

corentin is allergic to being a bummer; even when he's really struggling with something, he feels like he can't talk about it if it'll upset someone else. emmrich is desperately afraid of death, and corentin is desperately afraid of being alone, so he's gotten very good at keeping himself... palatable. so when emmrich responds to his encouragement by saying that he'll start preparing for the rites immediately? well, corentin feels locked into the supportive boyfriend schtick. he feels like he has to be unerringly supportive and not question emmrich's decision, even though it is definitely something that effects him, too.

the whole time emmrich's preparing to become a lich, corentin is thumbs up "you got this babe!"-ing his way through it, all while frantically trying to squash down the feeling of impending doom. because he is 100% completely convinced the other shoe is going to drop at any moment and emmrich is going to go to the Lich Corner Store for cigarettes and never come home.

though it should be noted, the skeleton part of "skeleton boyfriend" is really the least of his concerns. it's just everything around that.

and where does this leave emmrich?

he doesn't know it, but it leaves him with a pretty miserable boyfriend. they're going to have to reckon with corentin's issues at some point.

just like they're going to have to deal with emmrich's. becoming a lich is maybe not 100% a good thing, at least not right this second. he says that he "thought he knew its price," and in keeping with that banter i linked in the first part, he seems unprepared for the reality of losing people. it feels a little like he's rushing into it headfirst before the grief can hit him full force and he can get cold feet.

i'm really curious how he's going to feel if something happens to corentin (or almost happens), and it gives him a reality check on his boyfriend's mortality. losing manfred is already unimaginably hard... is he prepared for what it's going to be like when he loses corentin?

because i don't think he's realized that he isn't, yet.

#word count: 1777 #emmrich #emmrichmance #oc: corentin #volkorentin #corentin pt #dav #dragon age #veilguard #datv #dragon age the veilguard #dav spoilers #dragon age spoilers #da meta #my meta #mine #emmrook #emmrich x rook

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dorims · 9 months ago

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make you fix me [ sneak peak ]

gif creds @/endiness

roman roy x therapist!reader

wc. ~550

genre. fluff, angst,

spiraling into a more than confusing dynamic, roman roy's relationships have always disrupted the balance between professionalism and an HR complaint. It wasn't his fault his authentic-roy-ways didn't follow the 'being a decent human being' guidebook. People fell in love with their therapists all the time anyway, and being a nepo-baby billionaire didn't save him of that fate.

tags. WORKING TITLE, NO BETA AS OF RN, prone to grammar mistakes !! the story is set some time after s4 as of rn, gif is not representative of the timeline this takes place in, allusions to abuse, being dismissive of therapy, roman uses the word looney as an insult once, tags will be added as the story progresses, these are mainly for the text below the cut

a/n. this is a little sneak peak of one my wips! the full document has 3.5k words ish but im aiming for at least 7k, maybe a little more. if anyone wants to join the tag list for this fic please send me an ask off anon or with your url

“Are you writing that down?” He frowned, “why are you writing that down? I literally just said I wasn’t.”

Yet again, another bold demonstration of your therapeutic ineptitude. You dared to look up at him for a couple of seconds too long, scanning him over until his eyes widened in confusion while he jostled his hands in the air, preparing to retaliate. But just when he started stringing words together, you decided to start what seemed like a new sentence.

“What are you even writing?!” He wanted to tear all his hair from the roots. “I haven't said anything!”

“Well, you have.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Groaning in protest, he scooted closer to the edge of the couch, almost like he wanted to stand up. “I said nothing that means anything.”

“Then,” you clicked your pen, and his gaze immediately zeroed in on your fingers toying with the shiny metal. He gulped, knowingly so, like waiting for the stationary to stab him in the neck. But nothing had happened, and instead, he missed the way you [had noticed] “There’s nothing you should worry about.”

His shoulders dropped with the heavy weight of being scrutinized. One would have thought he would’ve been used to it by now. But from experience, he had learned that the everlasting bitterness of getting examined under a microscope would always linger. No matter what he tried, the only way of coping with it was to wait for it to pass with his tail between his legs.

“Can you just like stop? Writing?” With his elbows resting on his knees and his face burrowed against the nook of his hands, his voice came out pityingly muffled, much like the hint of the child he had been tasked to cast aside way too soon.

“Why?”

“Because, it’s, fuckin’ weird?” He forced himself to stare straight at the spot right between his Oxfords, shaking his head in disbelief as he attempted a laugh. “I’m not paying you to scribble on your looney book.”

You had hummed once more, and he had wanted to tell you to stop. With his gaze still zeroed on the floor, he failed to notice how the plain Moleskin had been pushed to the side, neatly closed in a genuine display of concern. Or as genuine as a therapist would allow themselves to be during their first session.

“Then what are you paying me for?”

“To like, you know,” he shrugged in disbelief. “Ask me to draw a stick figure under the rain and tell me how to fix this.”

“Fix this?”

“Yeah, this.” The words had left his tongue sitting, heavy in his mouth, and the rest that wanted to tumble out felt foreign in size and shape, though similar in weight to that of shame. The same one that had seeped from between his teeth and gums and skin countless times when the inconceivable consequences of his actions caught up to him growing up. Shame so thick it would put blood to shame, though they sure shared the same taste. And it had always been easier to spit it out in private, drown the aftertaste with fierce scrubbing and hide the searing imprints on his cheeks underneath the covers. But the walls surrounding him were no longer the ones in his childhood bedroom, and you were still waiting on an answer. “Fix, I don’t know…me?”

#roman roy x reader #roman roy x you #roman roy fluff #roman roy #succession fanfiction #succession #roman roy imagine #succession imagine

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obbystars · 3 months ago

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Farewell to All the Earthly Remains

Synopsis: He loved them. That’s why he had to make this decision no matter how much it hurt. It was for the better. This was how it should’ve been.

Notes: OC-insert / Pressure OC / Oberon Sol x GN!Reader / can’t believe i wrote that… / pre-pressure Oberon / talk about death / fluff leading to angst, no happy ending / reader is dying, cause is left open for interpretation / some scenes are based on recent game stuff I’ve been doing on roblox / if anyone knows what the title is referencing ily forever / oberon lore!

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

(here’s the oberon x reader i promised you 😭😭 i cant believe im doing this but hey, oberon lore and you get to know a little more about him so win i guess. i have been wanting to write more for him tbh. i don’t think i’ll put him on the list since he’s like… my oc, yknow? i think it’ll be more of like a treat? not everyone knows who he is so yeah.)

Every now and then, there was a young man who’d sit on the bench by the tree as a crow or two had hung around him. Sometimes there were three, sometimes four. He seemed to always have food for them, and every time, not a moment too soon, the crows would be there waiting for him. Then, while the crows went on about their day, he’d simply people-watch his time away.

He’d almost never actually speak to anyone who passed by unless they spoke to him first. Sometimes, those people scared off the crows, but sometimes they stayed. Sometimes the children who pass by want to play with the crows, and he’d have to tell them how they should handle them. Sometimes, people would observe from afar. They would admire, question, maybe even feel a little uncomfortable knowing what crows tend to represent.

A bad omen. An impending change. An unexpected change. Death.

Maybe sometimes it looked a little unsettling, but that didn’t seem to stop you from watching from afar. Every time he was there, whether alone or someone had him preoccupied, you’d watch him and try to build up your courage to talk to him.

You slowly approached him from behind, but you didn’t get very close as the man turns around and crows suddenly flew away. Only now did you realize his eyes are red. His eyes had widened and looked back to the crows. A part of him seemed a bit startled and sad that the crows left.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare them off,” you quickly apologized.

When he looked back to you, he smiled, “It’s alright. They always come back anyway. They just need to get to know you, that’s all,”

You nervously laughed, “Is it alright if I sit with you?”

“Of course. I don’t mind at all. I don’t think they mind too much either,”

He’s referring to the crows. Either way, you were still nervous as you sat down next to him.

“I believe it is considered rude to sneak up on someone the way you did,” he suddenly adds.

You immediately tensed, “I-I didn’t mean to be rude! I just didn’t know how I should approach you and I’m honestly not very good at this kind of stuff and-!”

He laughs, cutting you off, “Please, don’t stress yourself over such things. I understand not everyone can start a conversation with a stranger, but maybe it’s not the best first impression, yes?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry,”

“Let’s start over then. My name is Oberon,”

You looked at him and smiled, “[Name], it’s nice to meet you,”

At this point, one of the crows came back. It was like they were testing the waters and slowly walking closer. Then another came back, and then another.

“If you don’t mind me asking… Did you happen to be named after a moon?” You bring up to try and keep the conversation going. Although, maybe it wasn’t the best thing to bring up.

“Oh? Do you happen to be interested in astrology?”

“Yeah, kind of,”

“You’d be correct then. My name came from a moon of Uranus,”

More crows came back and both of your attentions had been redirected to them. Oberon seemed to have more food for them and began to give all of them their share. One of the crows eventually made their way up to his shoulder while another had went to perch on his hand. The others were either on the bench or interacting with each other on the grass.

“Did you name any of them?”

He lets out a faint laugh, “If I did, I would grow too attached to them. I figured it’d be best if I didn’t. They are still wild animals, after all,”

“That’s true. You can’t really cage a wild animal,” you continued to watch the crows seemingly all accept Oberon as one of their own.

It looked rather strange. It was like a variation of the ones who would be surrounded by pigeons.

…you feel so awkward. He was welcoming and didn’t mind company or a conversation, but it felt so difficult to talk to him. You kept your hands on your lap, completely tense. You dragged yourself into this, and it’d be even more awkward if you just decided to bail now. Maybe even embarrassing.

Oberon suddenly holds a few seeds to you, “Do you want to try feeding them?”

“H-Huh? Are you sure?”

“You’re tense. Maybe this can help you relax,”

You look at him for a moment, then down at the seeds. The crows already looked interested, but seeing as you were there too, they didn’t go for it. With a shaky hand, you accepted to try it.

“Take a deep breath and relax yourself,” he continues, “Avert your gaze, let the birds know you’re not a threat to them. They’ll know the food’s safe. They’ll warm up to you,”

You did as he said. You calmed yourself as you stared out towards the field. You can hear the crows making small noises. It was like they were discussing if they should trust you or not. You can see a crow in the corner of your eye inching closer and closer to your hand before it snatches up a seed and moves back.

It was silent, and then another decided to try it too.

“See? They’re not going to hurt you. They just want to talk,”

You blinked and turned to Oberon. He was talking to the crow on his hand. Before you knew it, the other crows had already taken all of the seeds you had. You did feel more relaxed, but they still seemed cautious about you. Trust with birds doesn’t come easy after all.

One had suddenly come up to your blind spot and cawed at you. When they see you jump slightly, it jumps off and onto the ground to join the others. It was like they were laughing. You can hear Oberon holding back his laughter, and you couldn’t help but laugh yourself.

The two of you would continue talking for a while. Time was practically lost. The crows would eventually start moving away, some even leaving. Oberon seems to take that as a sign and stands up.

“I suppose that’s time, then,”

“Off to do other stuff?”

“By stuff, it’s mostly work,” he admits, “Lots of work to do. This was just my own little break,”

You pulled out your phone to check the time, but then you hesitantly asked, “Do you think we can stay in contact? I’d love to talk more if that’s okay…?”

He looked at you with a surprised expression, but he still smiled, “I’d love that. Would same time tomorrow suffice?”

“Oh, yeah!” You nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, [Name],”

You watched him leave and observed the remaining crows who stayed behind. There was one who lingered closer to you and sort of pecked at your shoes. Maybe you’ll come here on your own time just for the birds as well.

You and Oberon have been meeting up quite frequently the past few weeks. Sometimes it was during his routine of feeding his corvids, while others were a bit sudden as you had run into each other. This time, you two ran into each other in a dessert buffet. It had just opened a few days ago and you found the time to have a look, and it seems like he had the same idea.

“To be honest, I didn’t expect you to be into sweets,”

“D-Do I really give off such an impression?” He stuttered, “I try to make it a habit to eat different kinds of food. I was hoping maybe this buffet could have something new,”

You smiled, “I think I heard they have quite a variety of treats. I wonder what kind of cake they have,”

“I’m hoping that they have a red velvet cake. I’ve never tried it before,”

“I’m pretty sure they do. I saw a video of someone reviewing it already which is why I even came here, actually,”

He turns to you with a smile, “Oh? Looks like you already know what’s in here,”

“Only a few things! Maybe they added new stuff? Even though it’s only been a few days…?”

“Only one way to find out, then,”

The two of you were given a table that was on the second floor which did give you a good view. Once that was settled, you were free to get whatever you’d like. There was a wide variety you could choose from. They even had some sandwiches you could choose. After a few minutes of deciding, your plate was filled with some of your favorites. The table was still empty when you came back. Looks like Oberon is still searching around, so you sit down and place your plate and cup of your preferred drink down. You didn’t get too much as you can always go back down to get more if you wanted to.

About a minute passes by and Oberon came back with two plates full of treats. He found the red velvet cake and cupcake, he had some eclairs, croissant, macarons… He might as well eat everything in this buffet.

“Wow. Didn’t think you’d REALLY love these,” you laughed.

His face turns red in embarrassment, “Everything looked so good! I couldn’t decide!”

You take another bite out of what you had picked up, “You can leave your plates here. I’ll watch ‘em while you get something to drink,”

“Thanks,”

He carefully places them down and almost runs back down the stairs. The sight of that was amusing, and looking at his plate… It’s taking all of your strength to not steal one of them. He won’t notice, right? Right?

No, no. That’s rude. He probably won’t be too happy about it. Who knows how he’d react? You looked away and continued eating your own to try and not think about it. It doesn’t take too long for him to return with a cup. You watched as sparkles seemingly appeared in his eyes as he ate. Hell, you swear you can see sparkles surrounding him.

Even after you got your second plate and finished what you had picked up, he pushed for a fourth plate to get whatever he hadn’t tried. It was pretty impressive to see he can eat that much, and it was nice to see such a happy look on his face. In the end, he seemed satisfied with the experience.

You two stayed to chat for a little while longer, even going back down to grab another drink. Oberon offered to pay when the topic of the bill came up and you didn’t mind, but you still felt like you could’ve at least paid for what you ate. He did get a lot to eat after all. Even if you offered to pay your share, he would’ve insisted he handle it.

You checked your phone for the time as Oberon offers to walk you home as it started to get dark, which you thanked him for. It also meant a little more time with him.

You lightly shoulder bumped him, “Did you have fun?”

“Of course I did,” he smiles, “The food was good, we had a very nice view… I had really fun with you,”

You tried not to blush at that comment, but you can already feel your cheeks heating up, “We should go together again some time. What do you think?”

“I’ll let you know whenever I can. Of course, as long as your schedule allows you to,”

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. I never asked what you do for work, so I hope you don’t mind me asking now,”

“Hm, what if I keep you in the dark there for now?”

“Sounds mysterious. Alright, fine,” you smile.

As you continued to walk, you notice that Oberon seems to like looking up at the stars. There wasn’t that many out tonight, but that didn’t stop him. Part of him looked a little sad though. You eventually pass by the graveyard your home happened to be close to and Oberon’s attention immediately shifted towards it. It was almost strange, but maybe he lost someone. You’re not one to pry.

He stopped walking all of a sudden, “Do you think those people were afraid?”

“Huh?” You stopped to turn to him, “Afraid of what?”

“Of dying. Were they scared in their final moments?”

You didn’t know what to say at first. As you looked to the countless tombstones that scattered across the field, that same question would repeat in your mind. Were they scared? Were their final moments filled with fear that they wouldn’t be at peace?

“I think… Some of them were. I mean, who wouldn’t be, right?” You hum, “But I also think some felt happy even in death,”

“Why’s that?” He questioned, his voice almost in a whisper.

“Maybe they were happy with how their life came out to be. Or maybe they were surrounded by family and knew they were the last ones they could see,”

Oberon is silent. You turn to him to see his sorrowful expression. It almost looked like he didn’t believe a word you just said, but he doesn’t speak of it.

You gently tug on his sleeve, “Oberon, are you… Afraid of death?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he quietly admits, “I’m just… I’m just confused. Even when you led a life you wanted to live, one where you accomplished everything you wanted to. Even when you’re surrounded by people who love you, wouldn’t you be at least a little afraid?”

You looked down, hesitating to hold his hand, “Yeah, maybe that’s how some felt deep down,”

“Do you believe there is an afterlife?”

“I like to think there is. I mean, that can’t be it, right? Our lives suddenly come to an end and suddenly there’s just…nothing?”

“Is that why some are afraid? There may just be nothing on the other side?”

You looked down, “Maybe, but I don’t think they thought of that even in their final moments,”

“…I hope you’re right,”

Both of you continued to stare at the graveyard in silence. You really do wonder why he brought that up.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I brought up such a topic. Come on, we’re almost there, right?”

“Oh, yeah,”

For the rest of the way, you two walk side by side and in silence. He would walk you to your door, say good night and goodbye, and you’d watch him disappear into the dark through your window. Something about him was strange, but strange in a rather interesting way. You wonder if the feeling is mutual.

When you awoke, you were… in your room. It was just as you had left it. Was that a dream? A very, very long dream that felt all too real? You leaned forward as you gently rubbed your head. It was such an odd dream, yet with the remaining moments of what you remember from it, you can’t help but feel warm all of a sudden.

That man you’ve been meeting with. He was sweet, gentle, and patient. He loved the bakery you invited him to. He loved crows and fed them whenever he could. His view on death was… interesting. He was afraid. He was confused when others didn’t seem to be afraid of their end and rather embraced it. Had he lost someone before? Is that why he was afraid? Maybe you should ask him next time you meet.

Just as you were going to stand up, you hear footsteps approaching. Your door suddenly opens and a strange man entered. He had a black mask and black horns. There were two pairs of wings on him, one located on his head while the other pair rested beside his waist. There was even a halo above his head.

An angel? You must be dreaming again…

The white eyes on the mask almost looked sad when he saw you, “I apologize for the intrusion. I’m sure you have many questions, and I assure you they will be answered. Most, at least. It depends on the question,”

You tried to stay calm just to make sure this was indeed a dream. You’ll wake up any minute now, right?

“How did you get in my house?”

He shakes his head, “While it may appear to be, this isn’t a house. It’s a room, your room. Where you are is my realm that resides in the line between life and death. It only appears as this because this place is where you feel the safest,”

You feel your heart beginning to pound against your chest. Between life and death? Realm?

“W-Who are you?”

The man pauses as he went to pull a chair over and sat down in front of you, “You…may refer to me as Mr. Sol,”

“What are you?”

“I suppose the closest thing I can call myself in your words is a grim reaper, but I am not here to collect your soul. Perhaps I can describe it as…guiding your soul,”

Grim reaper? Soul? He’s not an angel?

“Guiding my soul? Where?”

“That’s for you to decide,”

Mr. Sol has been strangely open about answering such questions. It’s hard to tell if he is lying or telling the truth. It may be the mask, but his tone seemed genuine.

“I don’t understand. Am… Am I dead?”

Mr. Sol looked down for a moment, and the white eyes closed, “Not yet,”

“What happened to me?”

His eyes open at that question, “You don’t remember?”

When you shake your head, he starts looking around. A few drawers open and eventually, a file is pulled out from one of them. He opens it, giving it a quick read before closing the file and holding it to you.

“This will explain everything. From the moment you were born to your eventual end,” he says, “But it is up to you to read it,”

You stare at the file then briefly looked at him. Your entire life, and it’s in a small file that he holds in his hands. Hesitantly, you grab the file and open it. A picture of you, your name, your age, your date of birth, your family, your school life… It was all there. The final paragraph detailing your fate was suddenly cut off, but the moments that happened before was all there. You were dying.

You look up at him, “You said you will guide me to where I want to go. What do you mean by that?”

Mr. Sol pauses yet again. He crosses his legs and his hands rest on his lap, “[Name], I am giving you the choice to continue where your life had left off or to end it. I am giving you the choice to go back, to wake up in the living world continue with the life you planned for yourself. I am giving you a second chance,”

“And if I say no?”

“Death awaits,” was all he said. His tone had shifted slightly as he said that.

It was an easy choice. Anyone would want to continue living. Anyone would give anything for a second chance when absolutely nothing was being asked for in return. You’d even see him again. You wonder if he had tried contacting you during that moment. He must be worried.

“This is the only chance I get, right?”

He nods, “Yes. It is all I can give you,”

“So we won’t be meeting again, huh?”

“It’d be best if we didn’t…”

Should you? The answer feels obvious, so you finally give him your answer.

“I’d like to go back,”

Mr. Sol nods and stands up, holding out a hand to you. He pulls you up to your feet and suddenly pulls you closer to him. He held your hand close to where his heart should be.

“I must tell you, once we go back, you won’t remember your time with me. You won’t remember a thing about me,” he lets out a shaky breath, almost like he was holding back tears, “I’m sorry,”

The crows seem to like hanging around the bench you often sit at. You’re not quite sure why. It’s not like you had any food on you for them. One of them was even sitting on the bench, looking up at you almost like you were an old friend. You only stared back, wondering why a flock had decided to hang out around with you.

One suddenly flew off and soon, the others followed one by one. You watched them leave and begin to surround a man walking down the path. He had held out a hand for one to perch onto.

Ah, maybe they were only just waiting for him. Crows can remember faces after all, and perhaps they accepted him as their friend. It was strange. You’d think it would be pigeons one would be surrounded by, but this man had attracted and befriended them. He must be very knowledgeable with them, maybe even grew up with them.

You smiled, stifling a laugh. It’s not often you see something like that, but it is a sight to behold. You wonder just how long it must’ve taken the flock to accept him.

The man continued down the path beyond your sight. The crows follows his steps and look up at him, almost begging for more food. The one on his hand caws, turning its head towards their usual meeting spot.

He shouldn’t have allowed you to get so close in the first place. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get so attached.

I am actually ashamed to say I made an Oberon disguising as a human and I hate it so much he looks like a generic anime boy

UGHH I LITERALLY COULD NOT LOOK AT HIM HELP MEEEE 😭😭😭

BOY KEEP YOUR MASK ON

#🌑 // the moon provides #🌑 // listen to his story #pressure oc #roblox pressure oc #roblox oc #oc x reader #oc insert #pressure x reader #x reader #original character x reader #roblox x reader

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axelakim · 1 year ago

Text

Title: Regret

Pairing: Ben Chilwell X Reader

Content: angst, fluff

You and ben have been a couple for about 4 years now. Both of you really love and understand each other, moreover for the past 1 year, you two can not be separated from each other because you have moved to Ben's house and that what makes you two more and more in love.

The season chelsea have been through was not really good. The club end up in 12th place in pl rank and there are lots of rumour of his teammates gonna go to another clubs, that's the reason why Ben always get home angry and not in the mood for the past 1 month. Like today, the traning session went well but the match wasn't. Chelsea lost 2 points against Liverpool, you've watched the game at home because youre working and got into some of accident when you were buying coffe at the supermarket across the office till your left palm wounded but u said to Ben that u just feeling a bit sick so you can't make it to the pitch. So you just waiting for Benji to reach home in the livingroom.

Not long after that, you heard your boyfriend opened the door and having such a disappointed and tired look in his face.

"Hei benjii, are u okay love?" while hiding ur left hand

"Yea i'm fine" he didn't even give you kisses when you welcome him.

He directly went to the kitchen and open the fridge "Why the hell there is no food in here? You didn't cook?" he asked

"No im sorry, i didn't cook because im feeling unwell and i just wanted to got home directly on my way home"

"Oh yea right" hearing him just responding u like that is kinda hurt but u dont want to make him more stressed out, so you just ignore it

"Should i cook for you? or we just order some food? what do you want?"

"No need, ill order it later by myself" while putting his dirty clothes in the basket

"Eum how are you today? any stories?" you asked wanted to know more about his day

"You still asking me? you saw me lost right, fucking lost and here you are still asking me about how am i, dont play dumb Y/N you already know how terrible i am now, if you want some attention the answer is not now"

this is the first time he snapped at you, his whole face turning red

Your heart was aching but again u just hold it

"Can u chill out? I just want to know more about my boyfriend's day. Is that so wrong?" holding up your tears

"Yes its so fucking wrong, youve already saw me lost today and u still asking me about my day, and always asking me the same annoying questions when i get home" he answered

"Oh so im the one who is wrong here huh?" you replied

"Yeah because you always so chatty about many things, this and that and also annoying"

You continued, "well maybe your decision to asked me move out with you was wrong then huh?"

"Kinda regret it indeed" he said it cold and went upstairs to your shared room

You frozen for a second hearing what he said, u just went blanking and dont know what to do. Your heart is aching so much, the questions youve always asked him that you consider it as an act of caring but ur boyfriend seemed didn't really happy about it. You always have his back and support all of the things he does but seems it is not enough for him.

You decided to put your jacket on and take your car's key. You told your security at home to open the gate and said to him that you just wanted to go to the supermarket.

After ben done showering, he went downstairs to check up on you because he felt guilty about the argument earlier but you weren't in the living room so he tried to find you in the guest bedroom but u also weren't there, he tried to call your name

"Y/N.... Y/N, are u here babe?" all around the house but he didnt find you

Then he heard some knock on the door, he thought it was you but it turned your best friend, Camilla.

" Omg you camilla, i thought it was Y/N"

"What shes not home? where is she ben?"

"Shes home when i arrived then after i showered shes gone"

"You should find her, her car missing i thought u used it but youre here and her hand wounded because of this morning accident, she really need a rest, im so worried rn"

"What? what accident? she didnt tell me anything? oh my lord, i messed up real bad, fuck it"

"Dont you say youve had some argument earlier ben?" camilla narrowed her eyes

"Yes yes we had it okay, and it was kinda really bad camilla, she must gone because of it, ,im so stupid, ill go find her rn"

"Damn it you chilwell, find my friend rn or you dead with me!"

They both go out to the security guard and asked about you, its almost midnight and you havent even come back home. Ben really worried about you and getting more stressed out. He called you so many tjmes but seems you have blocked his contact, then he called all of his friends and bodyguard acquaintances to find you. He also went to all of your favorite places but still he didn't find you. He drove his car with tears coming down on his cheek, he really regret what he have done to you, you didn't deserve to be treated like that. You are his princess, best friend, and also partner in everything, how could he be so mean, how could he let anger overwhelm him.

Its 3.30 am, hes still on the road till he got a call from a guy name Franky his bodyguard acquaintances, he said he found u because u use your credit card to stay in a hotel. Ben directly went to that hotel and asking your room number to the receptionist, glad that he knew ben and knew that you are his girlfriend so he let him to have the spare key.

Ben already there, in front of room 305 your room. He got in and found the silent and dark room. He turned on the light and saw you slept peacefully on the king size bed. He saw your puffy face and traces of tears that still wet on your cheeks. He checked your wounded palm too, looking at you like this made him really felt terrible rn.

Benji checked your silent phone and found so many missed calls from him, camilla, and others. Benji sent text to camilla first to tell her that youre okay. After that he just lay beside and hugging you till he fell asleep.

In the morning you awake and realized youre not home, but u felt someones arm hugging u from behind, u wanted to shout out at first but then u recognize the hand and also the tattooes. ITS MR CHILWELL.

You try to get up and let go his grip slowly, but Benji noticed.

"Hi baby" u just silent at his raspy voice, youre mad at him but also missing him sm at the same time.

"Hey i know you awake love, come here, let me see your face"

You try to hold ur body but u cant, he managed to turn your body to face his. His face looked so calm now not like last night. He smiled at you for a awhile.

He suddenly kiss your lips and u wipe it

"Huftt i know u must be really mad at me rn, im sorryy babe, i messed up"

"Oh you call me babe now?"

"Sorry sorryy Y/N, babe, i really regret what i did to you last night, im sorry, i let my emotion took control of me" he pleaded

"Yea" that was all u said, tried to get up from his tight hands around you

"No no youre not going anywhere" he said

"Huftt... i dont know Ben, im really dissappointed at you right now. The way u treated me last night make me feel like u dont love me anymore. You really know it well that i dont like when people raised their voice on me especially the people i love, you" u said it in tears

"Baby i know, i know you we've been together for 4 years. I really know it well, im sorry that i treated you like youre somekind of punching bag to me. It was just the effect of bad season and the rumour about my teammates, i just really stress and dont know what to do. Instead i let out my anger and bad mood all to you, while all u did for me was just supporting and taking care of me. Im sorry that i called you annoying i didnt mean it. You always such a loving and caring person especially to me , i really lucky to have you in my life. Im the one whos being a dick all the time since the bad season coming for chels" he said it all in tears also

You touched, you know u shouldnt go easy to him after he breaking ur heart like that. But you love him and you know frpm the deep down of your heart that he really didnt mean it. He even put so much effort to find you. You sighs and continue

"I know, you just stressed out but im here as your partner to comfort you, taking care you, hearing you, and loving you okay not a place for you to let out your anger out. I just wanted to support you Ben in every obstacles on your life, dont get it wrong. And ya maybe sorry if im being too much chatty in your house too, ill try reduce it"

"Love noo, its our house not my house. Its ours not only mine, and no youre not chatty im sorry you just wanted to take care of me and please do it for me" he smiled wiping off your tears

"I really regret my act last night, give me one chance to make us better" he continued

"Um noo" you answered

"Baby what do you mean no" he afraid of the possibility of breaking up and losing you

"Are you not gonna forgive and give me a chance?" he panicking

"I do give you a chance but i cant forgive you yet" you said "It was just too much for me, you know it right?"

"Okay okayy, im glad to hear that thank you sweet" he kissed you

"How do i make it up then baby?"

"With a rope and handcuffs maybe?"

"Oh you want to have playtime? thats easy babe. We just need to get home first"

"Yea playtime but this time im not the one whos being tied and hancuffed"

"You mean me?? hell no" benji refused it

"Okay then no sleeping with me for the next 1 week" you threathen

"Noooo, okay okay babyyy im down for it, youre the dom for tonight's playtime" he smiled

"Yayyy and can i ask one more thing again?"

you pleaded with puppy eyes

"Anything for my baby"

"Can you accompany me to watch barbie and going shopping for barbie related things?"

"Yes you can love, its easier than to be a sub for a playtime" he carresed your cheek

"Now can you forgive me now? I need an official statement from you"

"Yeaa kindaaa"

"I take it as a yes princess, and dont ever you call me Ben again, its terrifying"

You indeed never call him by his real name its always Benji, love, baby, babe, etc, because if you call him by his real name he knows it well that he has messed up real bad with you and he didnt like that also.

"And btw why u didnt tell me about thi" ben asked pointing to your wounded hand

"Dont want u to be worried to much at me while youre on the pitch" you smiled innocently

"Love u have to tell me okay, im sorry i didnt even paying attention to it"

"Its okay, im okay now"

"Have you bring it to the doctor?"

"Yes i have, yesterday and she said its totally okay, i just need to treat it well and change my bandages"

"Hmm i see, lets get home right now and take care your wound okay, you also owe me a story of this little accident"

"I will tell u in car, lets get out pf here right now benjii, im hungryy"

"Lets goo, but kiss me first and say i love you baby"

"Why?? u always like it when i call you Benji"

" I like it but baby is more special to me, also just want to make sure you really forgive me :)"

"I forgive you Mr.Ben Chilwell" you kissed him in a passionate kiss, quite long kiss the you two pull out

"And i really love you baby, thats the reason why i cant stay mad at you" rub your nose against his

"But promise me you will never do that again?"

"Promise princess, i will make you happy, im sorry about yesterday alright love? I really regret it, i love you so much"

You two once again pull in for a kiss and then checked out from the hotel and going home.

#ben chilwell #cfc #chelsea #chelsea fc #ben chilwell blurb #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell fanfic #fanfic #fandom #fantasy #football player x reader #football #football fanfic #football x reader

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redactedgender · 9 months ago

Text

songs i associate with redacted audio characters - speaker edition

!! CW FOR MENTIONS OF ADDICTION, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, AND AARON & ELLIOTT'S BACKSTORY !!

this is gonna be exactly what it says on the tin. there'll be some explanations under the cut for what im doing w this!

to keep it brief, im giving each of the characters under the cut three songs from my playlists of them, and go into a little detail on why i chose them/have them in their playlists. sounds simple, right? i'll also be including links to the songs if you want to add them to your own playlists!

with that, let me explain what the fuck is up shjdkfdsh

so a bit of context: i grew up writing karaoke fanfics on wattpad, which if you don't know, were reader-submitted requests for specific characters to sing songs within a short story, mainly in a group setting at karaoke. this has made me extremely specific with music and assigning them to characters, along with finding "singing voice-claims" for characters. so, i have some credentials when it comes to this stuff fjdhsgshjgd

with that explanation out of the way, onto the fun! one of the songs listed for each of them will be their svc (singing voice-claim), except for gavin, because i'm still working on finding his svc (i am leaning towards dpr ian for him though because... don't go insane. yeah)

if that all makes sense...

let's go!

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gavin

horns - bryce fox

; so this is the song i used as the title for my big ol' gaviant smut i wrote (shameless plug shhhhh). this song is just so gavin, especially season one gavin. the sex appeal that oozes from it, the way the singer wants the subject so badly even if he knows she's bad for him. like, s1!gavin wasn't a bad guy, but he was kind of morally ambiguous in a way that could be read as toxic. however, as freelancer's relationship with him deepened, we learn that he values consent and being authentic, something other concubi don't. what can i say, i like good character growth.

human - dodie

; this was one of the first songs i put on his playlist, and for good reason. this song, to me, is freelancer singing this about and to gavin. it's about connection, it's about wanting to see what the other person is like under the persona they've created. this song is what happened when freelancer began learning about gavin past the "sex daemon" persona, but its also what happened when gavin learned about freelancer and how they were more than a "jack-of-a-trades mess of a human". listen i love the two of them so much.

sweet tooth - scott helman

; a more recent addition to my playlist, this one also makes a lot of sense to me. this song is about addiction, and while gavin like, literally needs feelings of desire to live, it also can be said that he probably has had an unhealthy relationship with sex in the past. i also just really like this song. but i think gavin has healed a lot of his attitudes towards his fellow concubi, with freelancer's help and of his own personal efforts.

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elliott

dream boy - waterparks

; we have reached our first official svc! awsten knight of waterparks is my elliott svc. does this is really match my face claim for him? kinda? i had this svc waaay before i had josh hutcherson as elliott actually. but, to talk abt the song itself, i mean. c'mon now. it's literally elliott to sunshine. the vision in my brain is that elliott sings this at karaoke before he and sunshine get together, but are definitely both pining hardcore for each other. there's something about the playful flirty energy of this song that reminds me of elliott in the best way imaginable. he's just a little dorky, what can i say!

wasted summers - juju

; i like some angst! im not all fluff and humor and smut. i appreciate a good angst now and then. my brand of angst is just kind of specific. you'll see that in a sec. but this song just reminds me of elliott and aaron for obvious reasons. how aaron grew up too fast cuz of their parents, how aaron felt jealous and angry over elliott telling him and their mom about magic, how elliott told sunshine he's the protective type because of how he grew up (side note i have many thoughts abt elliott & blake and protection vs possession if anyone would be interested lmao). their relationship just makes me go a bit insane /pos.

still got it - troye sivan

; ALRIGHT THIS REQUIRES A BIT OF AN EXPLANATION. so i basically have a whole mv planned in my big ol' brain around this song, and around the concept of: what if scorpius' memory erasing worked for longer? what if elliott genuinely thought, for a bit, that he and sunshine had a bad breakup, but that he still loved them? and still "wanted them back"? only to then have the memories, the real ones, come back in a flood of sensory overload and horrible realizations? see? i like angst. :]

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porter

brutus - the buttress

; first things first, i dont support this band due to their transphobic comments. that being said, this song is incredibly porter-coded. "my whole life you were a teacher and friend to me / please know my actions are not motivated only by envy" - like this is just about will and vincent. i don't have to explain further.

we don’t have to dance - andy black

; porter's svc! i liked this song for him cuz i imagine treasure is the first person in a loooong time that porter has actually wanted to stay around, even though he's so used to these one night stands and passionate scenes. and even though he really likes treasure, he still goes back to the old him: offering just to dance, just to fuck, just for this to be casual.

car lights - james marriott

; so i have a little headcanon that porter's maker was someone that porter was dating in secret because he (maker) was the kind of guy who would say homophobic things in front of others, but would end the night with his tongue down porter's throat (or something like that). this song is about that kind of experience: worried you're about to be caught despite it feeling so fucking good. also, this song just kinda slaps.

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lasko

stutter - marianas trench

; this song just makes sense, not just in the fact that lasko stammers and stutters a lot when talking (especially when he's excited, god hes adorable) but also in that lasko is basically a hyperverbal autistic/auDHD person who constantly talks even when they don't have the energy to do so (totally not projecting what) and i think that's representation we don't always see. also, imagine him finding this song and dancing to it? yeah.

eraser - ricky montgomery

; lasko's svc! does this surprise anyone? actually it might. i love ricky montgomery so much, his debut album is one of my favorite pieces of music out there and i think he's such a talented artist. his range and subject matter in his songs always screamed lasko to me, and ricky's vocals just match lasko so much. this song is about being socially awkward, which like. yeah. i have like four or five ricky songs on my lasko playlist which is really funny actually hgjkfdhsdh!

my mother wants me dead - carolesdaughter

; lasko "mommy issues" moore anyone? yeah this song is that. i know i could have gone for the mitski mommy issues, but something about lasko tells me his mommy issues are like rage. like, as much rage as lasko can have towards a person. the damn fam and their mommy issues. this song also plays into my hc that lasko used to smoke before starting at D.A.M.N., picking it up after the inversion, and then quitting again once he started healing and met coworker.

━━━━━━━━

guy

fallin’ for you - r5

; as you all know by now, ross lynch is my guy faceclaim. and while i love the driver era (a kiss is also on my guy playlist, it is in fact the best tde song), ross' voice during the r5 era actually suits guy a little more to me if im being honest. also, its a hc of mine that guy's family did music, but guy had a really bad falling out with his parents and it kinds ruined things for a while. r5!ross's vocals are higher than now, since this was during the disney era, but this song is just too perfect to me not to use for guy.

30/90 from tick…tick…BOOM!

; i mentioned this in my face claim post, but i had andrew garfield as my guy face claim because of this song from the movie. it's just like literally guy tho. we know guy's a writer, we know how writers are. as a writer myself (not professionally), "30/90" is more than just representation of someone wanting to peak before their past "the right age"; this is about creatives wanting to make something that will last longer than their life, and that just screams guy to me. i don't think he wants to be famous, but i think he wants to have a legacy of media he creates last longer than himself.

honey - troye sivan

; listen. "something to give each other" is my favorite album from 2023, and most of those songs remind me of one redacted character or another, so if there's a lot of songs in my playlists from this album, shush. anyways, this song is an obvious choice for guy since it's titled "honey", but if you listen to it, it actually is a pretty sweet (eh? eh??) song. it's about falling for someone and wanting to be with them, and since its a fandom wide hc that guy probably fell in love with honey upon first meeting them, this plays into that idea. look i just love how much of a simp guy is for honey, what can i say?

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if i have any more energy to do more of these i will, but my spring break ends soon so we'll see. also, i managed to make height charts for redacted audio characters & listeners if anyone would wanna see those (they would include my listener oc's). also, if you have any songs you think fit the bois, i may open my asks again if you want to send those to me :0

#redacted audio #redacted audio headcanons #dog.txt #gavin #elliott #porter #lasko #guy

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tiajk · 2 years ago

Text

Through the lens

Jake sully x sister reader

Italic and bold means flashback

Warnings: jake realizing he's old asf, fluff, a bit of angst if u squint, tsu’tey being risen from the dead

a/n: This takes place before all the kids had gone to the hallelujah mountains

So you and your brother were having some sibling time him being the leader of his clan (i was too lazy to write the na’vi title) your kids and mates were there with you as well happy to see you smiling and laughing you and jake loved to embarrass each other with absolutely everything at this exact moment that is what you guys were doing sharing embarrassing stories of each other to your mates while your children were well being children

Jake had just finished a story about how you wherein highschool and you had slipped on the stairs and had been suspended for breaking the handle in your defense the handle was old asf you rolled your eyes while tsu’tey chuckled “you are really a klutz ma y/n” you looked offended “like i said the handle was old as hell” you finished with a chuckle

You suddenly recalled the memory and hit jake on his shoulder a habit you had while you were excited “Jake you remember that camera we took it everywhere with us” he nodded “yeah do you still have it i remember you took it out of the lab” you had rushed to you and tsu'tey’s shared home looking everywhere your kids do their chores very well thankfully so it was easy to find you grabbed it and ran back to your spot and sat down “This thing has to be at least 100 years old” jake said neytiri smacked his shoulder “do not be dramatic ma jake” jake pouted but obeyed tsu’tey had called the kids over and sat them down around you so they could see your past memories of your life

The first one being you in a bathing suit bottom at the beach and a surfer top (it's like the elastic ones) jake on your right and tommy on your left you sat the camera down on the ground “okay im y/n this is jake and this is tommy” you looked so young back then while you were a teenager jake had pushed you playfully “ i think we know who we are n/n” you stuck your tongue out and went to pick up the camera you were making silly faces as your brothers went back to there surf boards getting them ready nice and smooth you went to bother tommy first “whatcha doingggg” dragging out the end “your mom” you made a face at him “we have the same mom idot” (if you wanted to be adopted then the next parts for you) “I don’t know my mom dumbass” jake had been out of camera but you could hear what he said “tommy just likes milfs” you had busrt out laughing almost dropping the camera and going into a small state of panic “oh fuck oh shit” you said as you coaught the camera in a secure hold again tommy being the little asshole he is said “thats why your the klutz of the family” you gave tommy the side eye “this is why mom doesn’t like you” tommy had taken the camera out of your hand and switched the settings to the camera was facing the opposite end (bascially not showing him on screen) “say something funny” you responded to him by saying “bffr be fucking for real” tommy had put the camera in one had and picked up some sand “if you don’t ill throw sand all over you” “do it pussy” you were always all bark and no bite growing up when he pretended to throw it at you you screamed “ okay okay chill!” “alright i'm waiting” you had looked up to the sky to think you were naturally a funny or goofy person so you came up with something and looked back at tommy and the camera jake now sitting besides you “brothers will you remember me in 4 minutes” “yes” “4 hours” “yes” “4 years” “yes y/n” he said while losing patience “knock knock” “whos there” then you screamed “you don't remember me!!!!” and had busted out laughing jake looked at you like you were crazy which caused tommy to laugh then caused jake to laugh you all laughed so hard you started crying you came back and face the camera towards you and siad “this is what happens when you live with crackheads god save us all

The clip ending you had smiled softly you missed your days on earth sometimes only for your mom,jake, and tommy your daughter being the first to speak “mom i think you were on something back then” you shrieked “Back then you calling me old!” everyone started laughing jake saying “damn sis we kinda are getting old” “Boy whose we this ain’t french”

#jake sully x reader #avatar 2009 #avatar x reader #jake sully x sister reader #mom reader #avatar the way of water

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astranite · 1 year ago

Text

Stargazing

Sky and star!! Scott and John!!! Stargazing, honest talks on rooftops, some tears, and many hugs.

The tags copied from ao3 because Im pretty much too tired to see straight but I just finished this and Ive been working on it for a while now and here it is!!! Im very proud of it :)--Hurt/Comfort Angst Fluff its got all of them Stargazing which you just may have guessed given the title Hugs Crying Panic Attacks Self-Esteem Issues Scott's having a bit of a time of it and so is John but they've got each other there is much hugging and hot chocolate too and definitely some ADHD Scott and autistic John

Comes in at a scraping under 6000 words, so a nice long one!!

@idontknowreallywhy Thank you for all of your encouragement along the way. I doubt this would be what it is without you. Hugs :)

A headcanon in it, which you shall see, I believe originated from a fic by @edutainer2022 Sometime in 2023. The depths of tumblr. (cites sources)

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A thump followed by multilingual cussing out of the very concept of gravity were not uncommon sounds when John was earth side. Scott still looked up from his paper work in concern.

John was juggling a telescope, a blanket over his shoulder and his satchel while attempting to pick up several books. Massive, heavy astronomy books splayed out on the floor around his feet.

He swayed, nearly losing his balance and dropping the telescope at the same time. Scott leapt up to help. He crossed the comms room from dad’s desk to where John was in quick strides to get to his brother, worry blooming.

John straightened up when Scott reached his side, his brows pinched and face pale.

“Johnny, are you okay?” Scott questioned. He needed to know whether this was just a momentary thing or he needed to call Grandma and/or Virgil. He’d rather not have John fainting on him.

“I’m fine, just a bit dizzy.” John said, “Probably my blood pressure from leaning down too fast.“

Scott let out a relieved breath. John’s space-related health issues weren’t uncommon to be dealing with but Scott hated to see any of his brothers potentially sick or hurting. At least without a mission in the way, Scott could trust John was being truthful and not pushing past his limits.

“And don’t call me Johnny,” John added in disgust.

So John was just fine, with that level of vitriol. Just as it should be.

“Good to hear.” Scott put on a shit eating grin. “Johnny.”

It was his big brotherly duty to be infuriating, at least now his concerns had been allayed.

“Fuck you,” John said good naturedly.

Scott gathered the books up. John paused, hesitated, then stepped back to let him.

With both hands still full, John leant against the wall for support, eyes half closed and head tipped back.

On the biggest book, ‘ Dr J. G. Tracy’ was written across the planet pictured on the purple cover, followed by the extensive list of letters standing in for qualifications after John’s name. Scott smiled proudly to himself.

When he had them all, and they were heavy, how had John managed them with everything else, Scott reached out to take the blanket too, which was slowly but surely sliding from John’s grip.

“Thanks Scott. I thought I had it but—“ John gave floor where the former pile had been a glare.

“Gravity?” Scott smiled.

John rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

Scott shifted the books up in his arms. “Now where do you want this all?”

Since he was carrying them already, he may as well help John the rest of the way. It was easier, honestly, he wasn’t just being a smotherhen.

“Uh. I was planning to go to the roof,” John admitted sheepishly.

Scott nudged him gently. “I should’ve guessed.”

Long ago, Scott had gotten used to how John took every possible opportunity to see the stars. He’d thought the constant fixtures of their childhood would disappear when John made his dream of living in space, but they’d stayed. The telescopes from John’s bedroom window, the expeditions to every nearby and not so nearby observatory, lying outside on picnic blankets waiting for meteor showers.

Turns out stargazing, even on earth, was just a part of who John was. The stars were constant in his universe and Scott loved how his brother loved them so much.

At night, out on the roof was always the first place Scott looked for John. In the day, so many times Scott had found John in his room, staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. Scott had helped him put up the first set, way back in Kansas when John was shorter than him because he hadn't been to space yet, and couldn’t reach even standing on a chair. When they moved to the island, the first thing John decorated his room with were more stars here too. Sometimes, when John was up on Five for long stretches, Scott would go sit beneath them, surrounded by John’s shelves of paper books and looking upwards.

They made their way out now, Scott matching John’s cautious footsteps, slow and unsteady. The balance issues from constantly being in space were worse when John was fresh down for orbit, though they never truly went away. It worried Scott, when he thought too much about it, but Thunderbird Five was never something he could take from John without breaking his heart. So Scott was always happy to slow down, to let John take his time to feel his way along, whenever he needed to. For his brother, Scott could take it slow.

The door to the roof and the wide, flat expanse were both very deliberate in their design. Having their own observatory wasn't going to stop one space brother or two from sitting up there.

Passing from the warmly lit villa into the night was sudden and jarring. Scott realised he hadn’t been outside of a building or a cockpit for too long. He took a breath, filling his lungs with cool ocean air. The clear view and barely there breeze would make landing a dream if he was flying.

Stars covered the sky, spread horizon to horizon. John stared up at them with open delight. He placed his telescope and bag down on the roof, then stretched out his arms as if to touch the inky purple expanse above them. When John glanced back at him, Scott repeated the gesture because this was something he understood. On a perfect blue day, as the sun shone, burning away the last whisps of white clouds, the skies pulled him in with the urge to be amongst it all. That was why he flew and John launched into space.

Scott spread the blanket out next to where the roof slanted sharply upwards, so they’d have shelter and were far away from the edge. He put the books down on a corner, preoccupying himself with neatly stacking them. John dropped to sit cross legged, immediately beginning to set up his telescope.

Scott lingered watching him as he attached it to its stand, screwing it securely in place. Long minutes passed while John fiddled with various knobs and dials. Scott knew he had a million other things he should be doing, the paperwork lurking at his desk to name one example, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

John wouldn’t want him here. He’d enjoy his evening far more without his older brother breathing down his neck. Scott should go. He made an awkward gesture at the door back off the roof, but made no movement towards it. He was probably driving John crazy just by being here, distracting him from his stars with his indecisiveness.

Shuffling the books around had already been a thin excuse once and messing with them more would be pushing it too far, no matter how the volume second from the bottom was botheringly skewed. He clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms to resist straightening it. He was already pushing it too far.

Scott forced himself up, made it halfway to his feet when John pulled himself away from his telescope. His breath caught when John opened his mouth to speak.

Scott knew he was overly clingy.

The times people had called him suffocating stung. They still stung, even when he knew they were words hurled in anger and not truly meant. He couldn’t stand to hear more, because surely that’s what John was going to say. Maybe more diplomatically, more politely, but he braced himself anyway.

“Do you want to look at the stars with me?” John asked.

Scott’s mouth was glued shut. He just stared at John.

“It’s fine if you don’t.” John glanced down at his hands, now in his lap instead of on the telescope, fidgeting with his sleeves. “I just… We haven’t spent time together for ages.”

“What— what about last week?” Scott managed. John had been down last week, they’d seen each other last week.

“That was with everyone,” John said softly. “I meant just us.”

Oh. So John wanted— John wanted him to stay?

Scott tentatively settled to sit on the blanket, next to John. He couldn’t not. If there was the slightest chance John wanted him here, he couldn’t not take and take and take. But he had to believe John, in John’s words and soft, unsure tone of voice. That John knew what he was asking for and was saying it because he wanted this too.

After so many rescues and times in his life where John’s voice was his anchor at the end of a comm line, it was second nature to believe John. Maybe the waver in his voice was because he had trouble asking for this too.

Their knees bumped and John gave him a small smile.

Slowly, Scott unwound, letting out a breath and relaxing every muscle he’d tensed up. He leant back, bracing his hands behind him to look once more to the sky. The stars and moon seemed brighter now. What John was searching for up there, Scott didn't know, but he’d be here as he did, with John’s calm presence by his side.

He listened to the brushing of the breeze through the trees and the rushing whisper of sea against the shores, interspersed with the fluttering of paper as John turned the pages of his books.

John didn't need to reference his books to point his telescope at the right bit of sky, but he always brought them anyway. It was part of the routine, the ritual, a familiar comfort too weighty to bring to space. Flicking through pages of calculations, hands on the well worn covers, opening them where they fell, because they’d been read so many times before. It was another night, like this one but a long while ago, shared together when John had told him that was why he had them, connected all the way back to memories of John as a kid with mum’s astronomy textbooks, reading them by torchlight. For Scott, there was something reassuring about John surrounded by his books and his stars, his brother as he always was and was meant to be. It wasn't silly, he’d told John, that he brought old fashioned print books instead of even just a tablet, when they made John happy.

Tonight, without the usual jets coming and going, and people hustling to emergency alarms, the island was quiet. Calm, even.

Alan and Gordon were up on Thunderbird Five. Alan because he needed more training before he was prepared to run the station solo, and Gordon, who’d good naturedly volunteered to partner up, given John had long exceed his space hours this month. How it was going was anyone’s guess, particularly for Gordon’s mood, when Alan was likely using his temporary commanding status to full extent in bossing around his big brother. Scott snorted.

John turned to him at the sound. “What’s up? What is it?”

“Thinking of how Allie and Gordo are doing,” Scott replied. He relayed his thoughts about their younger brothers.

The corners of John’s lips turned up. “Eos is likely more trouble, even with the talking to I gave her.”

John’s code baby slash evil AI was thankfully now into causing the inconvenient type of mischief instead of the life threatening. She could be almost sweet when she’d gotten over the murderous tendencies and Scott got to know her better. He could definitely see the John in her.

“They’ll be just fine. Might even learn a few things.” Scott had faith in his brothers’ abilities, and in the restorative properties of the celery crunch bars he’d put in the care package for Gordon.

The conversation lulled for a moment as John refocused on his telescope, before John chipped in, “Do you reckon Virgil’s figured out his masterpiece yet?”

A paint covered Virgil had been briefly coaxed out of his studio earlier in the evening with the promise of dinner. He’d made distracted conversation with Scott and John, mind clearly still elsewhere, before shovelling the last mouthfuls of food in his mouth and running off.

Virgil hadn’t noticed the streak of violet across his forehead, emphasised by the expression he made, all raised eyebrows and gleeful realisation, when the new idea struck. To be fair, neither Scott nor John had chosen to point it out to him. He’d either see it eventually or he wouldn’t, and time would tell how many other colours joined it.

But a Virgil in his art zone, with music coming from beneath his door, was a happy one. Reassuring for Scott too, after the weeks and months and rescues they’d all had.

“He’s all good,” Scott said fondly.

John echoed it with a wider smile, both of their minds on their artsy brother in the house below.

“So, what are you searching for tonight?” Scott gestured to the sky and the telescope in a sweeping movement.

John startled. He paused to consider then asked, “Does that mean you actually want the whole version or just the five second summary?”

“Hit me with all of it,” Scott said. He was rewarded by John’s face lighting up.

John’s excitement as he explained his star stuff was contagious. Scott found himself grinning. The way John flickered his hands through the air, sketching out astronomical diagrams, was mesmerising, and the way he pulled facts and figures off the top of his head was astounding.

When he showed Scott the contents of his books, Scott barely knew where to start with the calculations, because this was John’s area, not his own field of mathematics. Half the concepts went over his head until John explained them, bit by bit.

Scott asked questions, because it had been a while since he’d looked to the stars and he was rusty on most of the finer points other than those used for emergency navigation. John was more than happy to answer them.

They bounced questions and answers back and forth; John got to talk about his stars and Scott got to listen to his brother’s joyous excitement which he hadn’t heard for far too long. He reminded himself to call John up more often, even if it was just on the holo, to listen to him ramble about his latest research.

“You wanna see?” John asked. “The telescope is set up and tonight’s has the best conditions there will be.”

Handling any of John’s telescopes was usually a privilege reserved for a very careful Alan. Several childhood instances of toppled stands leading to cracked lenses had instituted the rule of no brothers allowed anywhere near touching range. Or, Scott cringed to think about, amateur soccer range.

When Scott agreed, John flashed a rare grin, delighted to share the stars with him.

The stars weren’t Scott’s domain the way they were for John. Both of them loved the sky but the difference was the distance. Scott much preferred to remain within the atmosphere, outside of it wasn't for him. But the sky was for them both. Him and John, who were the first ones to love it, before any of the others came along.

Scott looked through telescope to see what John sees.

It was… he could only describe it as beautiful. Bright pinpricks of light forming their constellations against navy sky. The planets and the stars seen from their own tiny planet in the galaxy. All brought closer by the telescope than he could see with his eyes, brought closer by sharing this moment with John.

When Scott pulled himself away from the telescope, John was watching him in nervous anticipation, twisting his hands in his lap.

“So, what did you think?”

“They’re amazing John, thank you for showing me.” Scott poured all his honest wonder into the words.

John looked up. “They really are.”

“I missed you,” Scott blurted out.

Immediately, he wanted to take the words back. What made him admit it, even on the solitary rooftop where no one could overhear them? Not because they weren’t true, it was always going to be true that he missed John when he was away. But usually that was something he kept close to his chest, an ache curled around his heart. His family spent plenty of time with him, even John, they just… hadn’t lately, that was all. He was being needy, asking for too much and wanting more, more, more after people already gave.

He swallowed back the lump in his throat. The stars were blurry as he looked away.

Scott flinched when John gently took his hands in his own.

John squeezed his hands, slender fingers wrapping around Scott’s as he automatically squeezed back.

Gripping John’s hands, holding onto him, was a lifeline built up over years and years. So deeply ingrained in who they were that it could pierce through Scott’s racing, sharp edged thoughts.

Looking back, him and John holding hands had started when they were kids. The first time he remembered was on a trip to an aeronautical museum, with Mum telling them they had to stick together, to hold hands and not let go. Because as a kid, John would wander off out of curiosity and get left behind when he slowed down to read all of the informational signs. It had happened many times before. In hindsight, Mum was probably trying to keep Scott from running around and climbing everything too, by recruiting him for big brother duty.

Later the gesture was an anchor for John, to lead him out of overwhelming situations, where Scott could see him shrinking in on himself at every sound that made him want to press his hands over his ears but he couldn't for appearances sake.

For Scott, when he’s falling apart too. For John to pull him aside with a polite excuse, then away from old guard board members at Tracy Industries meetings, and out of the surveillance of crowds and reporters alike at the awful high society galas PR made it necessary to attend. Away from where people wanted, no expected, Jeff Tracy and all they got was his son, and the cordial smiles of how much he resembled his father tore Scott as deeply as the thinly veiled whispers of how much he didn’t, and he couldn't keep it up any longer.

And right now, he was falling apart, in a different place for different reasons but the chunks of his careful facade of fine fine fine are breaking off and clattering to the ground. John bears witness to it, within touching distance, within the blast radius, instead of a million miles away.

Scott could blame his emotionalness on exhaustion. On too many caffeine fuelled late nights bleeding into early mornings this week. On hard rescues in poor conditions. Anything instead of this boiling hurt that builds and builds.

He blinked quickly, his tears stuck to his eyelashes, hot and stinging as they welled up. He tipped his head back in hopes he could keep them from running down his face.

If he let go of John’s hands, he could wipe them away, and he and John could both pretend they were never there. But he couldn’t let go of John.

There was no way to hide his tears from John.

Scott hunched his shoulders. He closed his eyes. He still didn’t want to know what John really thought of him.

John’s hands gripping his own were the only point of reference he had. Scott was failure after failure, drowning in them, and John was too clever not to realise it soon enough.

“I missed you too.” John entwined his fingers with Scott’s before he could pull away.

The urge to tug his hands back, to take them away from John, whether in shock, or surprise or disbelief because the voice inside his head screamed he’s lying, he’s lying. Or so John couldn't pull away first, because he would, it was only a matter of time. It was always just a matter of time until everyone found out how messed up he was. Then—

Scott didn’t know anymore. He shuddered, curling in on himself, making himself smaller, making himself less of, of everything that he was.

But John was still there. Gently holding his hands. Not letting go.

Even as Scott felt tears dripping from his chin, the tracks burning down his face. Even as he shook, heart pounding, breaths catching loud and raspy, shattering the quiet of the night.

But why, but why but why would John miss him? The thoughts whirled, as cutting as blizzard ice, through his head. And mumbled aloud, falling unbidden from his lips, they were just as awful, the same slicing edges, now out where they could harm.

John’s voice washed over him, quiet, soft words he couldn't make out. They were buried beneath the howling thoughts.

But why?

There was no reason.

No reason at all.

Nothing was left in the dark, but Scott’s worst fears, tearing him apart with no up or down or direction, his own avalanche eating him alive.

Then something broke through. Reached out into the dark to rescue him. John squeezed his hands, pulling him out of the snow, never letting him go.

And John’s voice was gentle, filtering back in like a lost radio connection.

“Because there are as many reasons we all love you as there are stars in the sky.”

“As many reasons as stars I have yet to discover.”

“More reasons than all the stars, in all the universe, that ever were or ever will be.”

John paused for a moment, taking in a breath. “Because you’re Scott.”

Slowly, Scott opened his eyes. John was close, a blur of pale face and red hair that swam into focus as he blinked. Wide, earnest turquoise eyes that saw right through him.

Heartbroken was far too easy an expression to recognise on John, not when you knew him. But so was love. His expression was a mixture of both Scott wasn’t sure what to do with.

He stared until something jagged lodged in his chest and he forced himself to look away.

To the stars. Then down at their interlocked hands, where his own still trembled.

He watched as John’s fingers tightened briefly. His vision blurred.

“You back with me?” John asked. The same tone he’d heard him use over comms on scared rescuees and brothers alike, but now without the static.

Scott nodded slowly. He wasn’t sure he could make his voice work.

Somehow, John understood. Somehow John understood him and that hadn’t sent him running.

“You want to take a few deeps breaths, and then we can talk?”

He nodded again, listening for John’s count. He pushed his thoughts towards the back of his mind as hard as he could.

He tried, to time his inhales and exhales to John’s voice, he really did.

But his chest hitched, sobs tearing from his throat on every breath.

He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t do it.

He couldn't even breathe calmly, not even with John counting for him, John was wasting his time.

Except John said, “Scott, Scotty. Listen to me. However long it takes, it’s okay. I’m here.”

Scott was still crying, and this wasn't how the evening was supposed to go. John was meant to be watching his stars, not having to hold Scott’s broken mess together.

Scott probably wasn't meant to be here at all. He was meant to be doing mission reports, he should have stayed doing mission reports. Reliving awful memories of wrenching metal and screams to put lives saved and lost into official sounding sentences, at least would’ve only hurt him.

It took far too long for his sobs to lose their edge.

Too long to get his breathing back to shaky hiccups instead of hyperventilating.

For him to be left exhausted, with tears still flowing that nothing he could do would stop.

Over and over, John repeated, “You’re okay, we’re okay,” and, “I’m here.”

Because he was still here, with Scott, and he wasn't leaving.

And maybe that meant something.

Scott couldn’t hide his tears from John, but maybe he didn't have to. Not when John was so close, not when he cared. Because John still had his hands in his own. Because John showed him the stars that were his entire world. Everything said he cared about Scott, no matter what he did.

“Would you like a hug?” John asked.

The contact would be nice. But whether John wanted a hug, when he so often kept himself far apart. Scott shook his head then nodded. He didn’t know. He could barely think in the come down from his emotions.

But he didn’t have to figure it out as John pulled him close.

Their hands were pinned awkwardly between them because Scott still couldn’t let go, but he leant into John, tucking his face into John’s neck, hidden from sight.

John was wearing a navy blue hoodie which had gone through several brothers and might once have been Scott’s own, given the peeling aeroplane decal, but it was difficult to tell beneath the paint stains.

The soft fabric soaked up his tears. Eventually he let one hand go, carefully, bit by bit and John wrapped his arm securely around him.

Okay, he was okay. John was here. He just had to keep telling himself that.

John didn’t pull away to ask, “Do you want to tell me what happened there?” He just spoke quietly, chin still resting on top of Scott’s head where he was curled around him.

Scott swallowed. “Not particularly.”

“Is that because you actually don’t want to or because you think you’re fine.”

Scott shook his head. Even he had enough awareness to know he wasn’t entirely fine right now. Not with tear tracks barely dry on his cheeks. Or clutching John like his world would fall apart otherwise because something inside him told him it would.

“It’s I don’t know what you’ll think of me,” he mumbled into John’s hoodie.

John’s arm tightened around him. He whispered, “Oh, Scott.”

Scott tensed up.

“I’m not going to be upset with you, no matter what you’re feeling,” John added, quickly, tripping over his words to reassure Scott.

“Promise?” Scott asked, stupidly, childishly, because he couldn't help it even though it wasn't something John could promise.

“I promise,” John said solemnly.

The words, their words, went all the way back to their childhood, of Scott gripping John’s hands, making him promise not to tell mum and dad where Scott’s super secret fort was built in the backyard. John had never broken one of their promises. Not even as they got older and it was a teenaged Scott crying his heart out in the far too tiny tree house, because he didn't want dad to see him getting upset over little things like trying hold their family together and looking after his siblings.

Their exchange soldified something between them. Their bond that had always been there and maybe he could believe always would be there. It let Scott lower his walls inch by inch, until he found the courage to speak, even if it was barely audible and he still wasn't looking at John.

“It’s fine. It’s just… You never seem to want to spend time with me anymore,” he admitted.

“Of course I want to spent time with you,” John stated gently, “Why would I not?”

Scott choked on bitter laughter. “Why would you want to?”

He felt the moment John’s breath caught. How John hugged him close, pressing Scott to his chest.

“Scotty,” John asked apprehensively, the childhood nickname coming out for the second time tonight, “Is this really how you think of yourself?”

Scott shrugged against John. “What does it matter.”

John’s voice was thick, “It matters because somehow you’ve got it in your head that there’s no reason I’d miss you, and that’s not true and never will be true. It’s so, so not true.”

“When you’re earthside, you still spend all your time with the others,” he muttered in ugly, hurt words.

The sharp intake of breath from John was another regret.

Scott was torn between running where he’d never hurt John again and holding him closer.

As he pulled away, John’s hand still in his own brought him back. John always brought him back. So he clung on to John too, and starlight glinted from both their tears.

He held on, and they were both shaking now.

John’s “I’m sorry—I’msorrysosorry—’msosorryScotty,” was distressed and near silent.

“But why?” Butwhybutwhybutwhy?

“I thought you wouldn't want to star gaze with me!” John burst out.

It was Scott’s turn to squeeze John’s hand. To have John’s trembling fingers gripping back.

Scott swallowed hard. This was on him. He’d upset John. His own fresh tears cooled on his face, the sea breeze picking up to give them freezing bite. Scott had failed. Like he always did. But this was at the one thing that mattered above all others, of keeping his brothers safe and happy.

Guilt laced John’s voice, heavy and suffocating. “Alan loves space nearly as much as I do, so I try to take him out whenever I can. Virgil will draw anything whether or not it sits still for long enough and he wanted to try painting the sky with watercolours.”

Scott almost didn't want to ask, “What what about Gordon?” Because why was it just not him?

He heard John sniffle. “We usually sit near the beach. Gordy watches the waves and I watch the stars. Then he wanted to know about the stars because apparently they look kinda like the constellations of bioluminescence in the deep sea.” John’s words got stuck and he choked out, “I’m so sorry Scott.”

“It’s— it’s fine,” Scott said, effect ruined by the break in his voice. By how he couldn’t let go of John’s hand, even as he felt more tears trickling down his cheeks. “You don’t need to worry, just spend your time with the others, I know you don’t get much.”

He wouldn't want to hang out with himself if he had a choice about it.

John pulled his face away from where it was tucked in the crook of Scott’s neck. He still didn't look at Scott.

“I know you don’t want to spend time with me,” John said in a small, wet voice, “I’m boring. All I can talk about is astronomy and most normal people don’t care about it. I’m just weird and wobbly and awkward.”

“John—” Scott tried.

“When I’m not in space, I only slow you down,” John continued.

“Johnny!”

That got John’s attention. “What,” he snapped.

“I do want to spent time with you,” Scott said, “Of course I do, I always do.”

“But I didn’t really know. Most people don’t like me,” John stated, far too matter of fact.

That hit Scott like a punch to the gut. “You’re just like me,” he whispered.

Something he didn't want for any of his brothers.

“You feel like this too,” John whispered back, low so not even the stars could hear them.

Like they were both back in that tree house, amongst their old promises. Tangled together because that was the only way they would both fit now they weren’t children anymore. All lanky limbs, knees and elbows and sharp edges digging into each other.

At the same time, in the same motion, he and John hugged each other tighter. They were still the same jagged edges that fitted as closely as puzzle pieces, if they lined it up right.

“It’s why— why I thought you wouldn’t want to spent time with me,” Scott said, unsure now. “Because why would you.”

Scott took a deep breath and quoted, “Scott’s too clingy. Too needy. Too much, going too fast.” He kept his voice soft, pouring out old hurts, recent hurts, for only John to hear.

“And here I was trying not to drag you down when I could’ve held you close instead,” John murmured.

“Yeah,” Scott said thickly, “I could’ve been there for you.”

“For you too.” John’s voice gained an edge, “That you can’t think of a single reason I’d miss you means I must be doing something wrong.”

“It’s not your fault.” If there was something Scott was adamant about, it was this.

John raised his head to look Scott in the eyes, brief, burning turquoise. “Then it can’t be yours either.”

“But for everything…” Scott trailed off.

“I’m not going to love you less. None of us are. Not for being you.”

“I failed.” He had to say it, had to make sure John knew.

“No,” John said vehemently, “You were hurting too.”

Scott could feel John’s thundering heart pressed against his chest.

“Neither of us knew and we’re both trying, that matters,” John continued, “There’s also what we do now.”

John was Thunderbird Five, but he was also John Tracy. He knew. He knew Scott. Scott had to trust him.

“We make each other stronger. And we hold each other up,” Scott said quietly. Because of who they were, not just in spite of it.

For John, with John, maybe it was just one day possible.

They stayed like that, fused together in a hug, surrounded by John’s stars and Scott’s sky, for a long time. Scott couldn't remember when he’d last hugged John like this. To keep each other close, like they’d promised they would. He needed to do it more often.

When they finally moved, because sitting in one place on a rooftop for so long wasn't exactly comfortable, neither of them went far.

John dragged his satchel nearer and pulled out a thermos flask.

“I’ve got hot chocolate,” he smiled, opening it to take a sip then holding it out for Scott.

Scott took it, wrapping his hands around the warm thermos before raising it to his lips.

Closing his eyes, he savoured it. No one made hot chocolate like John. No one except mum did.

He pressed his shoulder against John’s in silent appreciation.

They passed the thermos back and forth, no words needed.

When it was empty and they were both full of hot chocolate, the night was late, the stars turning overhead. They perhaps should have gone in, would’ve on another evening without all the everything that had occurred tonight, but Scott had worked up the courage to ask John to stay, just for a little while longer, and John wanted to.

John returned to his telescope and Scott settled close, with John happily leaning back on his chest, Scott’s arms wrapped around John’s middle and chin on his shoulder. John could still look at his stars and Scott got to hug him so it was a win for them both.

The ocean breeze was picking up, becoming chilly in shirtsleeves when Scott hadn't brought a jumper because he didn't think he’d get to be out here so long. But John was warm and his hoodie soft, plus Scott could stick his hands in the front pocket, partially to annoy John ever so slightly, but also because his fingers were cold.

He got a close up of that characteristic irritated but fond expression, caught in a John half smile, when John tipped his head to look at Scott. Scott couldn't help but smile back.

Then John also stuck his absolutely freezing hands in the hoodie pocket with Scott’s finally warm fingers, vibrating with laughter because he did that on purpose.

They both settled back, hanging onto each others hands again, staring upwards at their sky and stars.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #john tracy #astrawrite

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malleablemusic · 2 months ago

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when i was 13 and worked as my mother's busboy in my uncle's pizzeria, i had my first crush ever, and it was on the 16 year old dishwasher. its important to note that he did not speak any english, i was a teenage girl with severe social anxiety, and we never acknowledged each other. one week before he left (for a reason I'll never know) he spoke the only words he's ever said to me: "you look like kurt cobain." i have never ever recovered. i think i have since dealt with this trauma and am now strong enough to listen to radiohead. here’s my review of nirvana’s nevermind:

smells like teen spirit: 4.6/5 stars

incredible intro, i’ve definitely heard this before

“i feel stupid and contagious” that's the quintessential teenage experience put into words. fantastic

i like how gritty his voice gets when he yells

love when the album title is referenced in the first song. yess

in bloom: 4.4/5 stars

“nature is a whore / bruises on the fruit / tender age in bloom” beautiful imagery

the angst is so visceral and real, there's genuine anguish in his voice

i love the choice to follow “likes to shoot his gun”, with “he knows not what it means”

cobrain is so brave to call out his fans who don’t understand the meaning of his lyrics or agree with his beliefs/opinions that he's singing about- they just hear what they want to

a little too repetitive, but it sees that is just their style

come as you are: 3.8/5 stars

what is memoria?

took a break to look up the definition: not sure what his intentions were with the word, but there could be several interpretations.

he could be formally “recalling the arguments of a discourse” and backing himself up with the claim “i don’t own a gun”, referencing his past lyrics publicly expressing his dissent for the lack of gun control in the u.s

breed: 4.7/5 stars

banging intro

this is exactly what the inside of a 16 year old girl’s mind sounds like

i am filled with regret that i have never listened to nirvana and that i assumed their music was not relatable to me in my youth, as screaming and dancing alone in my room to this song as a teen would have probably healed me at least a little bit

“we dont have to breed / we can plant a house / we can build a tree” the grip this line would have had on me…

lithium: 4.6/5 stars

the growling in his voice when he sings the “yeah”s… im in love with him i think

as i was typing the last bullet he sang “im so horny / thats okay / my will is good” i had to pause and gape with my jaw on the floor for a minute while i recollected my thoughts

amazing storytelling in this song

polly: 3.5/5 stars

how does he weave full stories with such few words

just a few lines in and the man and woman’s relationship is fully fleshed out

so many ways to interpret the words, she wants a cracker could be reference to a woman with anorexia or an eating disorder, she self harms, he is suicidal (bought rope)

territorial pissings: 4.8/5 stars

based on the title this will be very interesting

absolutely iconic intro of person speaking and spitting absolute facts

cobain continues to amaze me- “never met a wise man / if so, its a woman” i AM IN LOVE why have i never met a nirvana fan who actually displays the beliefs kurt is singing about ??

drain you: 4.9/5 stars

“i dont care what you think unless it is about me” so so real kurt.

more male singers should be as openly horny and desperate as kurt was

“chew your meat for you / pass it back and forth / in a passionate kiss / from my mouth to yours / i like you” this is PEAK ROMANCE. PEAK

simping in this song in the hottest way possible

the gross imagery combined with his obsessive romance is delightful to listen to

lounge act: 2.7/5 stars

a little bit repetitive and im not sure i love the jealous side of kurt

doesn’t call out to me for some reason, isn’t as special as the previous tracks have felt

stay away: 4.6 stars

“rather be dead than cool!” “give an inch, take a smile” loving the backwards metaphors/lyrics

this is once again the ballad of a teenage girl, being incredibly angry and pushing those around you away

if i knew about how much id relate to nirvana id play this song on the drive home from school after being overstimulated all day

GOD IS GAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god i love this man

on a plain: 3.7 stars

encapsulates the feel of an addict, somehow gives the feeling of a whole backstory in which there's the son of an addict mother becoming one himself

“the finest day that i ever had / was when i learned to cry on command” brings to mind the ways addiction can turn someone into a manipulator

something in the way: 2.9/5 stars

ok r. patz batman time lets goooo

this truly encapsulated the feel of robert pattinson’s batman movie: dark, grungy, sinister

okay but honestly other than me already knowing this song from batman and having that appreciation for it, this song would fully be a skip

endless, nameless 2.8/5 stars

opens as a full 180 from the last song

i kind of like how the words sound like almost incoherent screams

i could see why lovers of punk rock/alternative music would enjoy the second half instrumental part of this song- unfortunately i am not usually a big fan of long instrumental ends to a song, but could see how it works for the final track of the album

I actually loved this album a lot more than I expected to! i would rate it overall a 4/5.

#nirvana #nevermind #kurt cobain #music review #spotify #Spotify

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darlingmisa · 2 years ago

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Moonlight on the River | Sevika

It’s 3:30am and im writing my first sev fic bc what even is sleep. Pure angst, no happy ending, very self indulgent bc my depression is hitting so fucking hard hard rn I very much apologize for this. Title is purely bc I listened to the song while writing this.

cw: angst, no comfort, talk of self hatred and all that fun stuff (not really proof-read)

wc: 1.1k

A hopeless romantic is what they would call people like you. Simply dying for the chance to be truly loved and cared for, jumping at any opportunity to be in a relationship. Consistently ignoring every red flag and concerning factor for a chance at true love, hoping it would work out. It never did, but you never learned.

And that’s what led you here. Standing alone in your shared apartment. Nothing left to clean or cook. No laundry left to wash and fold. No way to distract yourself from the fact that she wasn’t home yet. It wasn’t abnormal for Sevika to be home late some nights, or most nights, or every night. You knew that all too well. Her job was demanding to say the least, leaving you two very little time to spend together. But this was different.

It had been days, 4 to be exact, since she last came home, and since you heard anything from her. When she left, everything seemed normal. A kiss on the forehead by the door like she always did before the two of you would part ways. Except maybe things were slightly different, things you overlooked as her simply being in a rush.

The lack of an “I love you” and “see you later tonight” now linger in your mind. Maybe she never meant to see you again. It was an insane thought but you simply couldn’t help but wonder. Especially when 4 days became 6, and 6 became 12.

Although dark, your initial thought was that maybe Silco gave her something she couldn’t handle, something she wouldn’t come home from. Maybe she just didn’t make it. And you stuck with that thought until two weeks in. 14 days without her home when you went to grab a shirt of hers, not being able to stand how her smell was slowly leaving the bed you shared.

Words fail to explain the intense feeling of your heart dropping when you opened the drawer where her small number of outfits were, or where they should have been. They were gone. You spent hours checking every crevice of the apartment for something that she owned. Nothing. Everything was gone. She was gone.

It was something you couldn’t process, her leaving without a word of explanation. But here you were, left alone once again. And somehow you convinced yourself it was all your fault. It was your fault she never came home. You must’ve done something wrong, something to upset her to the point where she didn’t want you anymore.

Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad. Not at her. It was always your fault, no matter what you said or did, no matter how hard you tried to be the best for someone, it was never good enough. The same thought over and over, how could someone love you if you couldn't even love yourself? You knew it was hard to love someone like you. What that meant, you weren’t sure, but you’d been shown time and time again that you were never the most lovable person.

All you could do was wait. For what? Who knows. Answers? For Sevika to finally come home? For her to explain why she left, to tell you that she still loves you, that she always did? Yeah, something like that.

On Sevika’s end of things, she hated this too. She never wanted to leave you. Never in your time together did the thought of leaving you ever cross her mind. You were her everything. Something she never thought she’d ever get, or ever deserve. She loved you, and that’s why she had to leave.

Her work only grew more dangerous. Dangerous enough that anyone seen with her was a target, especially you. Everyone knew you were Sevika’s girl, which only made things worse. She couldn’t put you in danger like that. And as much as she knew it would hurt you, it was her only option.

Telling you why she had to leave wasn’t a choice either. She knew too well that you’d find some way to get her to stay. Telling her you can handle yourself and that she was stronger than anyone who went up against her. Fighting for her to stay. Sevika knew this wasn’t true. She’d lost many fights in her past. She’d lost everyone she had ever cared for. She couldn’t risk losing you too.

Sevika could only imagine how hurt you were. She knew you’d blame yourself for it, you always did. She’d spent hours comforting you over things that were obviously not your fault, things that never could be. Though you always managed to convince yourself it was.

It hurt her too, knowing you were alone by yourself, being swallowed by the self hatred she always tried so hard to help you push away. Knowing that she was the reason you were blaming yourself this time. Knowing she promised to protect you and keep you safe from any harm, physical and mental. And she couldn’t. Not only was it that she couldn’t protect you, couldn't hold you while you cry and eventually fall asleep in her arms like always, but the fact that it was her, her actions, doing all this damage to the person she loved most in the fucked up world she was living in.

It was almost unbearable for her. Everyday she fought the urge to run home just to hold you and never let you go again. Sevika was never one for apologies, but if she could she would let every sorry word fall from her lips, yet it still wouldn’t be enough to tell you how sorry she truly was for all of this. How sorry she was that she couldn’t protect you from herself.

She thought about writing a letter, or leaving a note before she left. Maybe even getting someone to deliver the message for her. But she couldn’t. She knew you’d spend all your time looking for her, begging for her to simply come home, and her face was never one she could say no to.

So she stayed away, hugging one of your sleep shirts she took with her, one of the many she gifted to you a while back, relishing in the smell of you that she loved so much. It was the only thing keeping her from running back home into your arms.

She could only hope this all would be over soon, and that you’d still be there waiting for her, but things never did go her way. Maybe one day you two would reunite again. Just maybe.

Im so sorry for this,,

#sevika arcane #arcane x reader #arcane #arcane fanfic #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika imagine #sevika fanfic

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sweetronancer · 10 months ago

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HI PERCY HI PERCY!!!

i dare you to tell me about some of your wips right now >:33

HI OMG HELP I CHOKED ON MY CHIPS WHEN I SAW THE NOTIF /POS

most of my wips are like literally song lyrics from my fav songs so like ig im just gonna put those because like! it makes it easier ahh (90% of my wips are unnamed though smh)

"the last time i caught my own reflection was on its way to meet you." - (ronance) jealous nancy fic? i really only have an opening sentence for it but i plan on working on it more soon. but like robin's all buddy buddy (ALMOST girlfriends) with vickie and nancy doesn't like it whatsoever, like she feels like her best friend (cough crush cough oh ahah who said that?) is getting stolen from her and stuff and she's really jealous obv.

"so stay with me, hold my hand. theres no need to be brave," - (ronance) its like post st4, robin is doing some very intense thinking and its like an angst doughnut thats fluff filled yk? wound tending and sapphic yearning like what more do you need? its like one of my favorites but i'm really stuck on one spot and i don't know how to get past it, as soon as i finish the wip i will like immediately post it on ao3 so like?!?! i'm really excited to post it ahh

"theres something about you i'll always recognize." - (ronance) IM SO SO SO TEMPTED TO JUST POST THE LITTLE TOTALLY SEPARATE SCENE I WROTE FOR THIS ON ITS OWN LIKE ON HERE BUT LIKE (i might actually..)! also i posted a little bit of it on here already but not much, just some progress i've made. but like robin is so desperately trying to become friends with nancy after st3 (i think thats like where i wanna set it in the timeline) and like it starts with jancy.. and robin wanted to cry- LIKE LIKE WHEN UHM ROBIN CAME OUT TO STEVE YK thats how she feels in this fic lmao!!!

i also have a google doc titled "crying" like help?? but anyway its like ronance angst.. this is literally how it goes bro! almost developed ronance, jancy affair (sort of), rovickie, platonic ronance, developed ronance!!! i dont know how to explain the plot or sum it up but like thats it, i guess i tried to make an angst pizza or something?

i swear i didn't yap to so much so like im gonna stop there but i have so many wips i have ideas for and like i wanna talk about so badly but i i dont like yapping about that on here because ig i feel selfish help?? idek how but yeah help

#percy answers asks!!#no because im actually so glad you dared me to do that because i've been like dying to yap about it #i love yapping about my ronance fics like you should really just message me harper /nf /hj #but like seriously i love my ronance fics/wips so much theyre all my babies #theyre like different little parts of my brain yk?#theyre just apart of me idk how to explain it #but yeah #thanks for the ask harper!! <3 #asks #i really didnt mean to yap so much ew..

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chryblossomjjk · 2 years ago

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bts fic recommendations | 01.31.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

busted (pt 1 + pt 2) - @btsgotjams27 (jjk x reader | married au, parents au, smut)

summary: your husband comes home with a new gift and you’re not happy with it.

oh.... this is wholesome

im usually partial to girl dad koo but i've been looking at his bby pictures lately and he was so cute ugh :'( picturing two lil kooks is killing me (also i see where u got the inspo teehee v cute jess)

also he's such a lil shit pls like he knows what he's doing being such a slut and avoiding the conversation !!! we love him for it !!!

this is my fav style of writing by the way. like when the reader is just dropped into a slice of the character's lives and you figure them out based on the context clues. like the fact that kook's mom died is such a small detail here but it adds so much to the world. you did so well with seamlessly dropping tidbits and making it natural, not an easy thing to do!!! but you did it so so so well in this!!

him licking his fingers clean after wearing her pussy like a ring had me

dad jk putting it the fuck downnnnnn on that bathroom counter SHEESH IM SWEATING!!! also the baby interrupting right before the nut is peak wholesome content lmao!! and the way you incorporated the title TWICE PLS A GENIUS AND THIS WAS SO INCREDIBLY HOT and i would love to see more of this lil family :') <3

i want to be with you - @oddinary4bts (pjm x reader | idol au, s2l, f2l, fluff, slight angst, smut)

summary: moving to seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is park jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. will the reality of park jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?

first of all this is just what i needed um what is fanfic if not a vehicle to live out your daydreams anywho... something about moving to a big city and finding love is so fairytale-ish and magical and uGh. the more of these i do the more im starting to think we're all the same bc I RELATE SOME MUCH TO OC GTFO!! and that introduction made me so attached to her because there almost this childlike nature about her?? maybe childlike is the wrong wording but she has so much excitement and ambition, looks to the future with so much hope despite everything that she's been through. yeah. love her dearly will protect at all costs. and the way you contrasted this intro with the intro to the present day to show how now its not a daydream anymore n shes actually dealing w the reality of starting n moving somewhere new *chefs kiss*

"Sometimes, you wondered if faith existed. If there was a bigger plan to the universe, something written for you already that you couldn’t really escape from. It was the thought that crossed your mind as the doors finished moving, and a dark-haired boy – man – stared at you as you just stood there, mouth falling open."

god if theres one thing my communications major literature minor loves its this !!!! foreshadowing !!! like idk this paragraph just tickled my brain in the right way. it really is so beautiful. one of those that you look back on on a second read and smile because it means so much more and aged even better. truly stellar writing.

ALSO BRO THIS OC IS LEGIT MEEEE LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE OUT MY CLUELESS Y/N WHO HAS NO IDEA WHO BTS IS AND IS MYSTERIOUS AND NON-INTERESTED WHEN I HAVE A WHOLE TATTOO DEDICATED TO PARK JIMIN LMAO THE CHIMMY KEYCHAIN TOOK ME OUT BYE!!

"You expected his features to have that same disgusted scowl he always reserved for you, but his brows fell, as if he was ashamed, or perhaps sad."

"It was so human you found you had to look away."

and then just the pull towards eachother like this connection was legit fated was so fucking good. them taking care of eachother when they're drunk. hangover fucking soup :'). and then after everything with collin and jimin's spiraling they really needed eachother. like the stars aligned to set this pair up and its so comforting to read. BUT LIKE THE SLOWBURN MADE IT FEEL SO SO EARNED. AND THE WAY YOU ENDED IT WITH THE TITLE I COULD FUCKING SCREAM!!! so so so good. thank you for taking the time to write and share this masterpiece on the platform, you've made it sm better with this beautiful addition :') friends do not walk, RUN to read this.

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ohfallingdisco · 1 year ago

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I HAVENT BEEEN. IN MY BYLER FIC ITIME RECENTYL.

BJUT

BUT.

POST THE SHARPEST LIVES ON TUMBLR DOT COM RN!!!! WHEELER SIBLINGS FEELS??? AND ANGST??? AND MCR TITLE?????

[if you want to and hi and im being polite but i Must know more]

HII yeah no i totally get it lol, but The Sharpest Lives came on shuffle as i was writing what was meant to be a simple oneshot (!!!), and this happened—so, like, the power of mcr or something?…

anyway enjoy my favorite (huge) part lmao

tw for discussions (kind of) about period-typical homophobia

—

Will staggered, breathing suddenly loud.

The Party turned to look at him, but they all stayed frozen. His eyes were shut, but fluttering rapidly over a single tear running down his face.

Mike felt cold fear wash over him like a bucket of ice. It was all he could do to blink the spots away.

Carefully, El stepped to Will’s side—probably the person in the most danger, if what they all thought was happening was true—but as soon as her fingers brushed his arm, Will let out a tiny sob, sinking to the ottoman behind him and curling into El’s shoulder.

“Go,” he pleaded, voice strained, “you need to…please—”

“No,” she cut in, hugging him tighter. “No. You need me. We’ll fight him together.”

Max spoke up from her corner of his living room. “Wait, El—”

“No,” she fought, cradling Will’s head.

“It’s not time yet,” Will gasped, starting to lean away. His efforts were made worthless by the seize in his shoulders that made him fall back onto her, more tears leaking out. “He won’t come if there’s nothing to come for. Please, El.”

“He’s right,” Dustin said quietly, broken. “We can’t fight the Mindflayer and Vecna. Some of us have to go.”

“I’m not ready for him to die yet, either!” she screamed, face crumbling as she clutched at his shirt. “I can’t lose you, I can’t,” she sobbed, burying her face in his hair and crying.

Really.

Full-on crying.

She cared about Will as much as he did.

So—? He wanted to strangle himself, suddenly, for being the world’s best—Mike hurried forward, his head clearer than it had felt in years.

He was still who he always was. Why was he always afraid, now? He would rather fistfight the Mindflayer and lose to that bitch than let him take someone else.

Especially not his friends.

“El,” he said softly, brushing his fingers over her back. “I get it. I’m sorry. Go.”

“No, you don’t understand,” she cried, trying to push him away. “None of you do, I need—”

“El,” Will choked, sounding seconds away from a panic attack, “listen to Mike. I need you gone.”

Dustin sobbed quietly behind him.

“Yeah, Mike gets all the credit,” Max mumbled, sounding close to tears herself. “Come on. Give him space.”

That broke her off, and she stepped back, looking lost as she met their eyes in turn. “Will,” she whispered.

“I love you,” he replied, dropping his face down and wrapping his arms around his head. “Now get the hell out.”

Lucas stepped forward to pull her under his arm, tears flowing freely and silently. “We really love you, man,” he said, and drew a deep gulp of air before steering Will’s sister out. “Let’s—give him some space, yeah?”

Max in her chair and Dustin followed them out. Before Dustin shut the door, he looked back and met Mike’s gaze. “You coming?” he asked, clearly trying not to sound too depressed.

Mike shook his head emphatically, crossing his arms. “Take care of her, okay?”

He smiled brokenly back at Mike, eyes flicking to Will’s hunched frame. “Take care of him,” he returned, and looked at Mike with sad eyes one last time before letting the door click shut.

The resulting silence was suffocating.

Then a tiny shudder escaped Will’s mouth, his back shivering, and Mike dropped to his knees in between Will’s. “Hey,” he tried, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Hey, what do I do?”

Will’s head snapped up, eyes open and wild in a frenzy. They slammed shut again as soon as he made eye contact, and Will groaned through pursed lips.

“Michael,” he huffed, flexing his fingers on his knees. “Why didn’t you leave?”

“Because that’s a stupid idea, I’m not always stupid, and you’re not dying here,” he argued, trying to keep his voice level.

“Bullshit.” Every line of Will’s body read anger, but as he threw his head back, all Mike could think was how he couldn’t let him die. “I can’t try very hard anymore. Go with the others.”

He stared at the plaid on Will’s shirt, maybe just a little too distracted by the position he suddenly found himself in. “I—no. Shit, Will.”

“Mike, I’m infected again whether you like it or not, and I’m not going to just sit here and let you get killed with me.”

“As if that’s your choice,” he hissed, taking Will’s hands between them. “It’s my house, anyway, why do you think any of this is your choice?”

“Because I’m the one dying, Mike!” he yelled, raspy.

“Bullshit,” he repeated, squeezing Will’s hands hard. “Bull—you know it’s bullshit, so why are we even having this talk right now?”

“I’m pretty sure this counts as a fight,” Will snarked, scoffing. “Three major fights in as many years, Mike, that’s not what best friends do.”

“What if I don’t care?” he flung back, grabbing onto Will’s biceps. “What if I don’t give a shit, Will, you’re my best friend no matter how many times we have to—”

Soft, warm lips brushed his forehead, and his mind stuttered, frowning. They didn’t usually act this…parental, with each other, did they?

Then a thick, cloudy vine crashed through his mom’s window, shattering glass all over her nice rug, and everything went to hell.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Will breathed, clutching Mike’s biceps hard. “You were supposed to be gone…”

He gulped. With a slimy Upside Down vine slithering through his living room, looking for the one thing that thankfully mattered more to Mike than himself, everything seemed more—real.

“I’m not leaving, Will,” Mike repeated, shaky as he stared at the plant on his floor. It was really a shame that his family would have to find him dead with Will in their living room at some point, but…

“I wish you would,” Will said one more time.

“No.” Mike looked back at him.

A beat. Then, “Promise?” Will whispered, somehow managing to grip his biceps tighter. His voice trembled, and Mike hated it.

He stopped fighting the ridiculous urge and wrapped his arms tight around Will’s waist. There was nowhere left for Mike’s cheek except pressed up against his chest, but Will didn’t seem to mind, so he didn’t move. He could hear Will’s heart, here. The only downside was he would know exactly when—and how—the Mind Flayer got him. “I love you so much,” he admitted quickly, risking everything. “Like, in…in a love way.”

He felt a sharp stutter of breath from Will’s chest. His best friend’s arms slipped around his shoulders, holding him close.

“I mean—we’re going to die here, anyway. Yeah, why not. Mike, I’m. I’m not like the rest of Hawkins. They’ve always been right about me. I’ve been in love with you since I knew what that meant.”

Oh.

Wait. Just…wait.

Wow. Um.

…Oh.

This so happened to be an incredibly successful last few moments before death. His heart felt like it was skipping and swooning, as dumb as it sounded, making him feel lighter than he had in…well, years. He released a shaky breath against Will’s shirt, and Will’s arms tightened around his back.

Oh my god, he was so far gone for this boy. He was so perfect. His missing part.

It was almost enough to make him forget the demon literally in the room.

Wait. No. Scratch that. It was.

That’s why it was such a shock when it happened. He shivered as an ice-cold tentacle started slithering over his ankles, oozy and heavy. A startled sob slipped out against Will’s chest.

Shit. He had meant to die quietly, keep Will from watching. It was obvious, from the scrabbling grasp at his shirt and spike in Will’s breathing, that he was watching very closely, now.

“Will,” he demanded, tapping his fingers against his side, “tell me a story. Will…Will the Wise and his Paladin.”

“I can’t, Mike,” Will gasped, burying his face in his hair. “No, no, I can’t lose you like this, Mike—”

“I’m still here, Will! Talk to me. Will the Wise.”

A broken sob. “Mike—we were all supposed to make it. I thought we were all gonna make it.”

“I know,” he soothed, and found he didn’t mind. Comforting Will gave him a place to fit. “A little—ah—wooden…wooden cottage like Castle Byers, and, uh…a picture of us framed above our bed.”

Will sobbed again, trying to pull Mike impossibly closer. “You can’t be my Bob, I can’t do it, I need you—”

“I trust you,” he cut in, as another tentacle started slithering up his back, turning Mike’s spine ice cold. “I love you so much. So much. Stay with Dustin and Lucas and El and Max, okay?”

He gasped. “Not without you. I can’t—”

“You can,” he insisted, but the tentacles felt too icy and heavy and he couldn’t. He ducked his face into Will’s neck, whimpering. “I’m sorry,” he tried, and it didn’t feel like enough. “I’m sorry, I never meant to—”

And then the Mind Flayer pushed its way over his shoulder, and he had to stifle a scream, pushing back as hard as he could against the tentacles to try and give Will space to escape. It didn’t work.

Gently, Will’s shaking hands came up to curl into his hair. The tentacle was slung across both their shoulders, now, tying them impossibly close together, but Mike’s heart stuttered more from Will’s touch than the beast he’d wanted to fight.

Will’s face was quiet, full of meaning and heart and a deep, primordial ache. Hazel eyes shone in the awful light, and Mike just wanted to—well, he wanted to kiss him.

A lot.

“Hey, Mike, I’m glad you did,” he admitted, heaving a deep breath. “Alright? I—I would rather die knowing I was better for loving you, than regret never taking that chance.”

Oh, god.

“And…and if that means dying here with you, because I guess it does, than at least I’m with you. I’m…” His voice trailed off, breaking into a sob, and his forehead fell down against Mike’s.

The Mind Flayer had practically already completely entombed them. It had been faster, before, hadn’t it? When Billy died…another William, oh god…

“I love you,” Mike whispered, fingers clenching in the back of Will’s shirt. “So much. I’ll see you later, okay? Later.”

Will sniffed, breath warm against Mike’s face. “I’ll see you in the Upper Planes,” he promised, just a little bit of his old Cleric intonation peeking through.

God. If this was how Mike had to go, he was just happy to be with Will.

He just…

There were…there were sounds outside the window.

Rocks, voices, someone crying, it was…there was someone besides the Mindflayer outside his house?

A loud bullet shot past his head, and he yelped, eyes shooting open. Will’s eyelids were still fluttering, the room the same as it was before. It was just…outside sounds.

They were shooting at them? What the—?

“Will, hey, stay still,” Mike instructed, glancing towards where the bullet had gone. He thought it might have lodged in the wall. What kind of shitty guns were they using?

He felt his breath catch. “What?”

“Will,” Mike said again, “listen.”

A bang, and a grunt from just inside the window. They were coming in.

“Boys?” Nancy said, a click as she reloaded—hang on, that was his sister. His sister.

It was like a dam broke all at once at her voice, letting loose a dangerous flood. A sob broke out of him, churning his stomach.

“Mike?” Nancy asked urgently, just before another shot rang out. There came a low hiss from the icy arm slithered up his back, and he felt it start to writhe. The slime made him feel like puking. “Mike, I need you to talk. Come on, talk to me…”

Another harsh reload. A hand was holding the back of his head, joining in the pleas for him to say something. He was dimly aware that his head had tipped back, but he didn’t think he had the energy to do anything about it. Something hurt, too, behind him. He wondered what.

A shot. A screech from his back, and he was being pulled backward. Hands grabbed his wrists, fighting for him, but the suction was too strong.

A sticky tentacle slapped over the back of his head, and the world cut to black as he just kept falling.

•••

So. The hospital air was gross.

Nancy might never have been as close to her little brother as her boyfriend to his, or even half as nice, but she wanted him to be able to say at least she was there when he really needed her.

Of course, he couldn’t know she had been by his bedside all day, and they had no idea when he would wake up (at least he would), but she wanted to be here. Jon’s friend Argyle had taken Will to eat (at least he would), so it was just her and her brother in his bright white hospital room. He had gotten out of surgery yesterday, for the massive patches of welts, cuts, and bruises, all over his back, and been moved straight here to sleep off the surgery on his stomach (at least he could). They suspected he might also have a concussion, but the worst of it had been circumvented by how quickly she had managed to shoot Mike free. Or whatever other bullshit explanation the doctors decided to market.

Will, with his bruised, popped elbow and fractured shin, had been in here almost as much as she had, but she’d been let in first, so she had a little more time clocked. So far, she had been the only member of Mike’s family in the room. She had given permission for the surgeries, so she had no idea if their mom had even been contacted. Even if they were, Ted would still stay out of town with Holly.

She was doing everything she could to help Mike out. So was it too selfish of her to wish, at the same time, that she could be out there, too, hunting down the monsters they had to beat to get to Vecna?

Nothing had even shown up at their house. Just terrifying, tentacled vines, apparently quicker than anything else the Upside Down had produced so far. Steve and Dustin were coasting around town looking for more, Robin was keeping an eye on the high school gym, and Jonathan, Lucas, and Erica were barricading Nancy and Mike’s house—apparently, a sweet spot for paranormal activity. They were at most risk of getting cornered by Vecna. She kept telling herself that didn’t terrify her. Max was running comms, relaying important information between the groups with Cerebro because of its wider reach and clearer sound. Will had confessed he wanted to stay by Mike’s side in case of government overreach, and because of it she had even considered leaving Mike in his care to go help defend the town. But, once Jonathan’s friend Argyle had shown up to take Will away, she had almost made up her mind to stay.

Mike looked better, yes—but not good. And the tentacle creatures had clearly been targeting him, from what she had seen in the living room. Was he at risk of Vecna, then, for more than just a connection to El?

She wished she knew someone who would know. It must be nice, she thought, a bitter smile pulling at her lips, to be eighteen and not already have been a bitter, sour adult for years. She had done her best to set a decent example for her siblings. Maybe they, at least, could get it right.

Nancy leaned back in her chair, a huff escaping her lips. She let herself sigh, tipping her head back.

Another thing she was avoiding was how this felt like it could also be sitting at her brother’s side after he got hate-crimed for his friendship with Will. It was always something she’d been worried about, all too aware of the way people looked at him when they went out, how Ted had only started to recede into something that made her mother guilty after his son started gushing slightly too much about his friend at the dinner table. It was nowhere on the same level, she knew, but…she thought she might have some inkling of how the surface of it could feel, between Vecna and the terrible week Will went missing where her name was plastered up all over dozens of signs across Hawkins.

Mike was not into girls. She hadn’t thought, when he was dating El, to bring it up—maybe he’d changed his mind?—but now she saw clearer than ever that her little brother still hung off his best friend’s every word.

He was such a repressed sap, when he was awake. And he couldn’t keep his own secrets for shit. Her brother would inevitably tell her soon, as he was running off on some other life-or-death mission. Then he would hate her for pointing it out, probably cuss at her until she stopped, and they could laugh it off. She hoped he would do it.

The Wheelers were not the Byers. They would never be Joyce, Will, or Jonathan, but they would be okay. She wanted him to be able to say she would be there for him, should he need her.

The door to the room swung open, and a nurse appeared, pushing a tray filled with damp cloths, water, and ointments—nothing too dangerous. He gave Nancy a tired smile, sneakers squeaking as moved to Mike’s side.

His face was strangely glassy. She wondered how many deaths he’d had to deal with since Hawkins cracked like an egg all over.

“Your friends are in the hallway,” the nurse informed her blankly. “You might trade out for some sleep while you can.”

—

…aaaaand ending it there because it’s really a BEAST of a fic which i don’t have completely finished yet (and was totally meant to originally be a oneshot 😭) lmao hope it was decent!! <3

#the sharpest lives wip #byler fic #byler wip #byler #cool people

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