#yeah i used egoistic as my name for a time. there was a period i used God too.

[wife]

anyone else glad they're no longer the most cringey teenager on earth

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Lou Reed - Leicester University, England, October 14, 1972

Summer of Lou — part two! After taking 1971 off (“Exile + great pondering,” he wrote), our hero returned in 1972. A busy year! In rapid succession, he recorded his self-titled solo debut and his smash-hit breakthrough Transformer. He also took to the stage once again, with a brand new band of fellow Long Island rockers — The Tots! A terrible name, yeah, but a pretty sweet band, polished but not slick, glam-y but not corny, more Max’s Kansas City than Rock and Roll Animal. The best Lou and the Tots document is the WLIR radio broadcast from the end of ‘72. But this earlier show at Leicester University is fantastic, too, giving us a glimpse of a kinder, gentler solo Lou Reed (at least compared to the delicious nastiness that would come later in the seventies). Not the best audience tape, but pretty damn good for the time period.

It must’ve been strange to be an English Lou fan at the time — so many myths and legends had already been built up, I’m sure. And then you see him at long last ... and he’s a pretty friendly, mellow dude! That’s how he comes across here, anyway. The first half of the show is all Velvets numbers, with a surprisingly chatty Lou narrating, the Tots sounding pretty tight (check out the sweet seamless transition from “White Light White Heat” into “Lonesome Cowboy Bill,” the latter tune getting into a proto-disco groove by the end). I love the slowed down, stretched out “Waiting For The Man.” And then, most surprising of all, is the very stripped down mini-set of ballads, some of which feature just Lou and guitar. The crowd singing along with the chorus of “Pale Blue Eyes” is a wonderful moment and the rare Lou-sung “Candy Says” will make your heart melt. This feels like a whole alternate approach for Reed, one that he could’ve/should’ve cultivated during this era. There’s a real intimacy and connection with his fans that you don’t really get later on. The crowd responds in kind, giving Lou the warm response he almost never got with the VU. 

The latter half of the show is all about the boogie, with great renditions of “Wild Child,” “Head Held High” and “Sister Ray” choogling mightily. Apparently, the show ended with an extremely rare version of “Ocean,” but alas, the taper ran out of tape! Oh well ... This is a beautiful night in Leicester. 

Lou Says (1972): Sometimes I have this horrible nightmare that I’m not really who I think I am ... That I’m just a completely decadent egoist ... Do you have any idea what it’s like to be in my shoes? ... I mean, I have made every hip scene ... known ... everyone ... everyone! ... and sometimes I think I’m just a phony cocksucker like the rest of them ... 

[marshmallowprotection]

Well- Uhm, I’ve recently talked with my mother about the things she’s told to me growing up (rather, C did, and when she came to pick me up after school she made a passive-agressive comment about it and then we’ve talked) and uh... It didn’t really go well, at least in my opinion...

Specifically we’ve talked about the times she’d say she would kill herself to join J, and she denied it completely. She told me multiple times ‘I never said that’ and didn’t listen to me when I told her that yes, she did very much tell me that.

I felt so guilty of having said everything I said to C because first, I wasn’t aware that he was going to tell her today, and second because all the while she told me ‘I felt like a monster’ and ‘I felt like I was on trial’ (when that’s the way I feel pretty much all the time) so now I feel even more like an egoist monster.

Also she told me that the times she reacted badly were because of her bad days, and even brought up my attitude during the trial period (which happened like, some weeks after my genitor threatened my life by attempting to throw heavy packages on me, before bringing a knife to me and demanding that I kill him if I hated him so much while I visibly shaken up, for some context). For the first verdict I had to see him an entire afternoon the first Saturday of the month (of course, alone, aka in a situation that terrified me) and I apparently told her that ‘nobody cared’. Which was definitely not fine if I did say that, but I don’t remember much so...

The worst is that each time she brings it up, it’s like ‘I know he manipulated you but still’ and it feels like anything that’s before the ‘but’ doesn’t mean anything. It’s like ‘yeah, I know he manipulated you, but understand how I was’ and... and I just don’t know. It’s so confusing.

One of the only good thing that came out of this is that she wasn’t the one to give me J’s name, but my genitor...

Speaking of him he changed his number again and he sent me a message this morning. When I saw it I just felt like throwing up, and I got so scared because he’s already still messing me up mentally and now he was literally there. I just wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, that he ruined me, that I hated him, that I wished nothing more than to see him get run over by a fucking car and I felt so disgusting and so shameful because it just felt like I was as bad (if not worse) than him.

I finally menaged to get a therapist, Friday was my first ‘real’ seance with just her and me, she thinks that I have depression and she wants to talk to my mother about it so I can see an actual doctor and possibly get a diagnosis but I’m just scared of how she’ll react, even more after that. She said that the next seance we’ll do a little test of sorts to see where I am concerning that and after we’ll see if I want her to tell my mother about it but... I still don’t know. If I do have depression and get a diagnosis, what’s going to happen next? What am I going to do with that? Is it going to get worse if I do?

In a way I feel like that could be reassuring because that would explain how I feel, why I’m unmotivated most of the times, why things I used to love are no longer making me happy, why it’s just so complicated to find something to live for, why I don’t see myself being there in the future... but at the same time it would just confirm to me that I was ruined and that there’s something wrong with me, something that I can’t control and that’s just as scary. After being a//sed mentally and lied to and manipulated I hate not being in control of stuff and not being able to take decisions for myself and weirdly I feel like that contributes to that fear and I don’t know what to do with that...

I don’t even feel like my mother is a monster. I just feel like I’m a stupid brat who can’t be grateful for shit and who’s always sad and always in a bad mood and I’m just bothering everyone and I should shut up for once.

I don’t know. I feel even bad complaning about it.

TW: Gaslighting, Abuse, Manipulation, Depression, Assault 

Just because you get a diagnosis does not mean that you are marked for doom. Trust me, there are many people who know that they have an illness but they haven’t been to a doctor to confirm it. I’ve never been officially diagnosed with anxiety or depression, but because of what I’ve been through and since many family members deal with it, I know the symptoms, I know how I feel, and I know that I have it. Just because I don’t have a paper that says I have it doesn’t mean  I don’t have it. The whole point of going to a doctor to talk about this is to get help, not to get shamed or anything. You go to a doctor, and they get you the help you need. 

They get you help, programs, guides, tools, ways to learn to function with the darkness that you feel. There’s nothing wrong with getting help. There is nothing wrong with you. Mental illness doesn’t mean that you’re weak, and it doesn’t mean that you’re “crazy.” The fact that you were harmed and abused was out of your control and that wasn’t your fault either, and the fact that you’ve got pain in your heart after that happened? That should feel like proof enough to validate the idea that you’ve been hurt, you are a victim, and you will be a survivor of this grief and pain. 

I need you to know that I see a lot of my younger self in you and I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. This isn’t your fault. It was never your fault. You have been hurt and tricked by people to feel like it's your fault. It’s not your fault. This is what abuse feels like, this is what gaslighting feels like. You know that someone will warp your perception of the world and make you question every little thing you know. That’s what this is. This is what the abuse is. You feel like you’re the one at fault and you’re the one to blame when you’re not. You’re a child, and everyone was meant to protect you and look after you. Not hurt you, not break your trust, not treat you like shit. 

You need to know that getting help is not a bad thing. Do not fear help. It will change nothing about you. You’ve lived so long with depression and pain, that trying to imagine a life without that feeling is hard. But, I promise you that you will not change when you get help. You will only grow and learn to function better. That is what therapy is for. My fiance was like that, and he’s learned through therapy how to function and tricks to help himself when things feel like shit. I’m proud of him for that. And? 

I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there when it’s scary to get help from other people. I’m proud of you for fighting in spite of how scared and nervous you are. I’m proud of you for taking the first step on the road to learning that you were never meant to be hurt. 

As far as your family goes, I sincerely want you to know that if you know that they said something and hurt you, they hurt you. Don’t let them make you think you’re at fault when you’re not. Do not feel guilt or shame. They want you to blame yourself. They see themselves as never having done wrong, but they did, and they hurt you. They’re wrong. You really shouldn’t be stuck around these people, but I trust you to take care of yourself and to continue to open up in therapy. 

Learn your rights. Stand your ground. Remember that you have power. You will beat this feeling and you will never let anyone make you feel like less of a person again. You’re strong, and you’ve always been strong. Keep your head up and know that people believe in you. I believe in you. 

[ladycibia]

for the talk about jacob/MC 7, 13, 17, 20, and 29!

So many questions! Thank you!! | original post & questions: x

7.What memory or thought does MC/Jacob use when conjuring a patronus (if they caneven conjure a corporeal one at all)? What form does it take?

I know that MC is basically a silent not-that-silent protagonist and so they’re perfect, but I like the idea of them struggling to cast a patronus; I mean, it’s not easy to focus on one, intense, happy thought with everything that happened so far, is it? Anyway- let’s start with the form! I can picture XIv’s friends joking about it, saying stuff like “Focus on Lockhart” and expecting to see a beautiful, silverish peacock popping out of her wand :’) but Xiv’s patronus is a red panda. I know it’s an unconventional choice because that animal’s not even on pottermore’s patronuses list, but that’s the one, period. It suits her in aesthetic & personality, and that’s the whole point: she’s her happy thought. I hope it doesn’t sound too egoistical, but- the things she saw, the things she learnt, the choices she made, the people she met; the awareness of growing up & having the chance to become a better person, day after day. So far, she’s happy with herself. As for Jacob- I’ve always liked the idea of him not being able to cast a patronus. However- if we’re talking about a sort of redemption arc..well…my Jacob’s patronus would be a Shetland Sheepdog, which is Silaxiv’s animagus form (and his father’s patronus as well) c: hence the memory is kinda obvious

13. Can MC seethestrals? Who did Mc see die in order to see them?

Yes, and I’m saving up to buy one in-game too! I wanted to call him Albert, which is a bit different from the names/nicknames Xiv usually gives. Albert Evans was Xiv and Jacob’s father. MC (and other characters, like Duncan) usually mentions only their mother, so…there might be only two or three dialogues mentioning a father figure or their parents as a whole…? I really can’t remember. Anyway, I’m still a bit unsure about this but- as for now, Xiv’s father is dead (and she has a stepfather). Her father was fatally wounded by a Death Eater (which can also explain why MC’s boggart is Voldemort) and he died a few days after, surrounded by his wife and children.

17. How does your MCfeel about Merula? Will they ever be friends? Is Merula a playful rival withundeniable chemistry or is she just a huge pain in the ass?

I really need to rewatch our previous school years because I can’t remember sh!t ahahah we’ll be stuck in Year 5 forever Ok, so. The first time Merula and Xiv met, Xiv punched her in the face and then Merula tried to kill her but we already know this. As I’ve already written in another ask, Xiv wasn’t that friendly in Year One, or at the very beginning of it, at least. She’s always been a cheerful and optimistic kid, but besides Rowan and Chester (and the school staff of course), she wouldn’t talk to anybody (things quickly changed when she met Ben and Penny, of course). She loved and trusted her brother and so yeeeeeah…it’s not like she didn’t like Merula because…seriously, she kinda likes everyone, but she wouldn’t accept her remarks on Jacob and punch her in the face. As years went on, yes, I’d like to define her relationship as a standard anime rivarly (even if Xiv’s true rival is Diego), ahah! The Goku and Vegeta of Hogwarts so yeah merula wins because everybody loves Vegeta And I hope Merula’s redemption arc does happen and they can be friends. Xiv’s actually grew fond of her.

20. If MC had access toa pensieve, what memory would they most like to revisit and explore? (doesn’thave to be their own memory)?

I’m afraid she wouldn’t do that, unless it’s necessary to find Jacob and/or the vaults. She’d rather explore the past by looking at pictures or by having people telling her stories and anecdotes than re-live it in first-person.

29. How would MC/Jacobgo about flirting with/asking out someone? What would be the ideal circumstances,and how would it actually probably go?

Despite Xiv being an extrovert, self-confident and determined person, she’s a mess when it comes to dating. Lockhart doesn’t count because that’s a celebrity crush, but she does get very shy around Barnaby (if they’re all alone, at least) and she’d probably stare into spaces or barnabae’s beautiful green eyes and sharp cheeckbones for a few minutes before asking him out. And then she’d probably fail anyway. NEVERMIND LET’S DUEL OH LOOK IS THAT A NIFFLER TSUNDERINO IS THAT YOU HI I don’t know if dating will ever be available, but Barnaby seems more confident about his (possible) feelings over MC, and so I like to think that he’s the one who will ask her out, in the end. If Xiv’s a mess, Jacob’s your Friendly Neighborhood Stereotypical (Half) Italian-Latin Lover. However, he’s not really like Diego…he’s more the “mysterious” (yet gentle), quiet guy…But he really doesn’t mean that don’t trust him

[amisbro]

UtaPri CD Rankings

I haven’t done one of these for a good while but what we are going to do here is a post that covers the Shuffle Units rankings and then the Mini-Album and Movie Single for HEAVENS. In this post we will cover all 6 Shuffles as one grouping and then the Album/Movie Single in another grouping so we don’t have that all jumbled up. For anyone that wonders how I do these it goes like this I use the Oricon Charts from Rank 1-30 and once I don’t see it on there its considered “off the chart” until it gets back on there.  There will be times when one pops back on the chart and those will be noted accordingly when they happen (and they do I will tell you now). READY... SET... GO!!!!

First up...Shuffle Units Up/Down/Up (Release Date:  12/12/2018) 12/11/2018 - #8 12/12/2018 - #6 (up 2 Spots) 12/13/2018 - #7 (down 1 spot) 12/14/2018 - #9 (down 2 spots) 12/15/2018 - #7 (down 2 spots) 12/16/2018 - #15 (down 8 spots) 12/17/2018 - #14 (up 1 spot) Egoistic (Release Date:  12/26/2018) 12/25/2018 - #8 12/26/2018 - #11 (down 3 spots) 12/27/2018 - #7 (up 4 spots) 12/28/2018 - #12 (down 5 spots) 12/29/2018 - #9 (up 3 spots) 12/30/2018 - #22 (down 13 spots) Feather in the Hand (Release Date:  1/16/209 1/15/2019 - #6 1/16/2019 - #5 (Up 1 spot) 1/17/2019 - #6 (down 1 spot) 1/18/2019 - #6 1/19/2019 - #6 1/20/2019 - #12 (down 6 spots) 1/21/2019 - #8 (down 4 spots) 1/25/2019 - #24 (first appearance in 4 days) 1/28/2019 - #14 (up 10 spots from the 25th) Reiji/Kira/Ren’s single (I forgot the name of it so this is what we go with.  Release date was 1/30/2019) 1/29/2019 - #7 1/30/2019 - #6 (up 1 spot) 1/31/2019 - #8 (down 2 spots) 2/1/2019 - #7 (up 1 spot) 2/2/2019 - #8 (down 1 spot) 2/3/2019 - #15 (down 7 spots) 2/4/2019 - #10 (up 5 spots) Colorful Spark (Release Date:  2/13/19) 2/12/2019 - #6 2/13/2019 - #7 (down 1 spot) 2/14/2019 - #5 (up two spots) 2/15/2019 - #10 (down 5 spots) 2/16/2019 - #12 (down 2 spots) 2/17/2019 - #16 (down 4 spots) 2/18/2019 - #12 (up 4 spots) 2/25/2019 - #24 (first time it appeared in a week at this point) Yamato/Cecil/Tokiya’s single (Release Date:  2/27/2019) 2/26/2019 - #15 2/27/2019 - #10 (up 5 spots) 2/28/2019 - #11 (down 1 spot) 3/1/2019 - #12 (down 1 spot) 3/2/2019 - #10 (up 2 spots) 3/3/2019 - #20 (down 10 spots) 3/4/2019 - #9 (up 11 spots ALRIGHT...what are we looking at here First off for anyone that wonders why I put the release date of the CD but then the debut is a day earlier on the chart...that is the way the Oricon posts it for me when I am looking at it.  It shows the result from the day PRIOR and not the day of...might be because I live in America but that is what it does here NOW FOR THE ANALYSIS! with the exception of “Egoistic” and the Yama/Tokiya/Cecil single ALL of them started off strong so that is a good average to work on...its the longevity that was worrying for me when I looked at these because of all of them “Feather in the Hand” (Masa/Myu/Eiji) and “Colorful Spark” (Nagi/Shion/Syo) are the two that appeared the longest on the charts but the debut spots were interesting to me With the exception of the one for Yama/Tokiya/Cecil ALL debuted in the top 10 but what happened after was the most interesting part to me I’m trying to figure out “Tokiya’s Curse” at this point...his shuffle I honest to God thought would do the best because of the fact that he was working with at least Cecil (Yama I admit was a wildcard) but it just really couldn’t get traction...yeah it got into the top 10 3 times with the highest being 9th at the end of the run but it really made me stop to think what could have happened...Egoistic I KIND OF have an idea Despite the fact that I see a bunch of Cosplays for him on twitter I think Eiichi still has a long road to go with the fanbase.  I’m not trying to blame Egoistic on HIM per se because we know that there are a lot of factors that go into these singles either doing well...or not! One thing I have thought about that contributed to the final shuffle “bombing” by the standard of not being a top 10 from the jump is to remember a few things 1.  “Anthem for the Angel” was coming out not long after this CD dropped AND 2.  “The Champion” for Manterou was coming out within this period and given how popular THAT GROUP is in the realm of HypMic it stands to reason that they are going to be able to put a sizable dent in the sales if there is crossover between the fandoms because most people will want to buy the CD from the group that won the battle season.  In this case I can wholeheartedly get WHY the last Shuffle didn’t do so well One thing we CAN say though (and this is interesting) is that WITH QN in the shuffle project it kind of helped the sales a bit because we have to remember that that foursome is arguably the most popular of the 3 units right now so it stands to reason that those fans would buy the CDs to support them.  I also wonder if within that group in Japan there are fans of QN that are very supportive of HEAVENS (actually from what I can tell on twitter there are fans of Syo that do a lot of HEAVENS fan art so I might have answered my own question there) I think one of the reasons that “Feather in the Hand” did well was because that threesome was arguably NOT going to be that big a “drama” (and that might have helped “colorful spark” in a way because the fanart just from the synopsis was actually very cute and it didn’t have as much drama as I was expecting to see based off of S2...honestly looking back on the Season 4 duets I still think Syo and Nagi should have been paired from the Jump but then who you would have paired Yama with would have been an issue...I’d of done Natsuki and Yama I think but that’s just me All in all though at this point (at least from where I sit) the Shuffles didn’t do “bad” and you could say this was a bigger success than say...the “Duet Project” and it was also interesting to see how with QN involved how much longer there was a song in the top 10 than without or at the very least in Tokiya’s case how much harder it was to BE in the top 10 But this is just the Shuffle Projects...NOW we get to Anthem and “Secret Shangri-La” FIRST...”Anthem” “Anthem for the Angel (Release Date:  3/13/2019) 3/12/19 - #10 3/13/19 - #8 (up 2 spots) 3/14/19 - #9 (down 1 spot) 3/15/19 - #7 (up 2 spots) 3/16/19 - #15 (down 8 spots) 3/17/19 - #19 (down 4 spots) 3/18/19 - #14 (up 5 spots) The Secret Shangri-La (Release Date:  4/3/2019) 4/2/19 - #8 4/3/19 - #9 (down 1 spot) 4/4/19 - #8 (up 1 spot) 4/5/19 - #8 4/6/19 - #10 (down 2 spots) 4/7/19 - #19 (down 9 spots) 4/8/19 - #11 (up 8 spots) 4/9/19 - #29 (down 18 spots) Alright...THIS IS INTERESTING Now looking at these we can look “half empty” or “half full” because these kind of results allow us to do that BOTH CDS MADE THE TOP 10 so that is a positive and Anthem nearly made a top 5 like “HEAVEN SKY” did so again that is a positive. Its another positive to say that NEITHER CD debuted high and then just plummeted like “HEAVEN SKY” did when that debuted at #5 and then fell off the face of all creation! A “negative” way to look at this is that neither CD made the top 5 (or top 3) so that can be looked at as a disappointment and it can lead to this question “what the hell is going on here?!” The best answer I can give you...and this is speculation can be attributed both to the popularity (or maybe perceived LACK of popularity) and maybe also the “timing”? Like okay (and we can do this with the shuffles too) let’s try this The purposes of the shuffles and the HEAVENS Movie Single (in my mind) should be to fill out what we hear in the movie.  I don’t THINK they are gonna do the full songs in the Movie so if that is the case then having the shuffles and the Movie Single out NOW is kind of “Bass Ackwards” because you might get disappointed if you don’t hear the full song.  Now if we assume the movie is going to be 3 hours or so then its possible but they might have other songs to perform outside of just the shuffles and the movie singles you know?  Heck...we MIGHT finally get to hear the solos for HEAVENS in the Movie when it comes to the S4 duets (I’m hoping against hope here because yes I am still salty “Dreamer” didn’t get played at 6th stage) so there is that It is interesting to observe this stuff as a fan.reporter because one thing I notice is on twitter there are A LOT of cosplayers/artists that do HEAVENS stuff and most are from the “country of origin” but maybe the group is still “too new” (I doubt that seriously) for them.  Like for HEAVENS right now they are in the “growing stages” where they have a radio show ,their own shop now and they are getting singles and so forth.  Like Broccoli is taking chances with them but I think for some (at least in the western fandom) they might not be doing ENOUGH which is the important thing to think about (and the whole thing with the movie poster is disrespectful af in my mind because it shows just how low on the totem pole they think of them but that’s my opinion). What is really going to be interesting is “Post movie” what will Broccoli do with them (HEAVENS) in terms of making them even MORE LIKABLE especially in the West where the fandom is predominantly STARISH or QN fans.  To me that is the struggle now. One thing that COULD have helped out HEAVENS is having the Dolce Vita game out now but its not so we have to figure out the next move to see what Broccoli is going to do here.  The reason I am focusing more on HEAVENS with this is because Broccoli pretty much as STARISH and QN locked in so they are fine but its figuring out where HEAVENS fits with the movie ,maybe Shining Live and any other projects they want to put them in.  I still think that during Season 5 they should focus that season on HEAVENS or give them a spinoff.  I’m mentioning out right a Season 5 because I think that might be brought up at the Special Talk on June 15th.  If it is and they reveal it I am thinking they might use that for a better primer for HEAVENS before the new game comes out.  I’m also thinking that that will be out BEFORE the 10th Anniversary and that might be used as material for the 5th season.  I’m stating this because right now I think the reason the Anime is in a standstill is because they didn’t have the content for it done...it might also explain WHY Season 4 was one of the hardest to follow because I think they wanted to have either Dolce Vita out BEFORE the season or something and it just got botched up.  Now where we are is a state of “fixing things” (Sorry...somehow went off on a tangent) The point is about the single and mini Album is that HEAVENS right now is in a weird place.  Broccoli needs to see the unit do well with CDs and while one top 3 and a top 5 from a CD about 2 years ago was GOOD they need to keep that momentum but its getting harder and I think one big thing that is happening is a lot of new projects or games coming out on mobile and people are investing in those and not purchasing the HEAVENS stuff...its a lot of things that could be happening but one thing is for sure right now HEAVENS is in a fight right now to remain in the universe and the fandom and its one I am watching hoping for a Miracle! Let’s see what happens next

[shuaffeine]

30 Questions

tagged by @chimdeer! thank you ella<3

rules: answer 30 questions, then tag 20 people you’d like to get to know better.

1. nickname: rena 2. gender: female 3. star sign: taurus 4. height: 162cm; 170cm on a daily basis because heels 5. time: 12:38am at the time of data collection 6. birthday: april 21st 7. favourite band(s): bts and got7, but honestly depends on my current mood. more than a certain band, i’m more drawn to a certain kind of music (esp. more soft, mellow ones like butterfly prologue mix).  8. favourite solo artist: ailee, iu, suran, egoist 9. song stuck in my head: save me - bts 10. last movie watched: i’m not sure... probably fantastic beasts? 11. last show watched: bon voyage 2 (if that counts, otherwise riverdale!) 12. when did i create my blog: march 23, 2017 13. what do i post: my writings, mostly reblogs of bangtan stuff, and occasionally reblogs of some photographs I posted on my photoblog! 14. last thing i googled: Graham, J., Nosek, B. A., Haidt, J., Iyer, R., Koleva, S., & Ditto, P. H. (2011). Mapping the moral domain. Journal of personality and social psychology, 101(2), 366. [technically on google scholar, but yeah it’s still google] 15. do you have other blogs: yes! my photoblog jiatography and my reading recommendations blog alstroemenia are my two mainly active ones in addition to this one, and also a lesser known personal blog :3 16. do you get asks: honestly no, but i’m always open to people coming into my ask with anything! you can even ask for love and life advice and I will set up a consultation time with you lol 17. why did you choose your url: it’s a combination of my full name - Serena Lin, with my last name stylised to Lynn. i wanted something personal and screams me, hence the combination which have been following me throughout several sites was born. 18. following: 95 19. followers: 73 lovelies :’) 20. favourite colours: grey, black, white, pastel creamy brown. basically basic colours, but i enjoy the occasional dash of colours (just not red/yellow/orange). 21. average hours of sleep: depending on the time of the semester; 6-8 hours during the early weeks, which can go down to 3-5 non-consecutive hours during exam period. 22. lucky number: 7/8/9, but honestly i have pretty bad luck for anything :”) 23. instruments: i play the piano and sing, and am currently learning guitar! however, ever since i left for uni, i’m out of practice so my smol fingers can’t stretch as much as they used to when i practice everyday :”) 24. what am i wearing: an old t-shirt which doesn’t fit my brother anymore with bunny-patterned shorts 25. how many blankets i sleep with: one 26. dream job: biotech researcher or a singer/artist/musician/whatever else you may call it. 27. dream trip: seoul, santorini, akita, or anywhere the stars are clearly visible and the atmosphere is simply peaceful and quiet. 28. favourite food: rice, eggs, and chiCKEN! 29. nationality: asian mix 30. favourite song now: call button - ars (youngjae) x j.praize, 4 o’clock - rm&v, first love - bts (yoongi solo) because i can’t pick only one...

This was super fun to do :3 This shy turtle doesn’t really know 20 people here, but I’m tagging these lovelies: @joonreads @zeporaaaa @vanillalattaes @jungkookio @jiminiephile @jiminyoongs 

[markeubaby]

Burned with You

A.     Mark knows Taeyong is a poison. Could kill him anytime and Mark can choose whether he wants to die fast or slow, whether he wants to feel the pain first or later. Mark knows Taeyong could burn him. He's hot, dangerous, and tempting. Mark already realized that since the beginning. But Mark can't resist his warmth. Whenever they touch, Mark loves the burning sensation. Just like today. Taeyong pulled Mark's collar with an angry face; almost punched him if Jaehyun didn't stop him. But Mark couldn't even see the anger in Taeyong's eyes. The only thing Mark felt was joy and happiness. Finally, after a long wait he could feel Taeyong's warmth once again. Mark is only able to feel that warmth when Taeyong's angry. Ready to beat him to death while Mark's heart starting to create butterflies. As much as he hates it, Mark knows Taeyong won't ever touch him if he doesn’t have intention to kill. He will never know how it feels to be touched gently just like how Taeyong treats Jaehyun. Mark knows and he hates it more than anyone could even imagine. That's why Mark needs to create a mess to piss Taeyong so he’ll look at him in the eyes, even only for a second.

B.     Today Jaehyun holds a party. Mark decides to come because Jaehyun keeps pushing him, and because that stupid reason, he wants to see Taeyong. He's so anxious about what he should wear today. He could just pull his usual outfits, jeans t-shirt and hoodie, like nobody would care. But just by thinking the chance he will meet Taeyong makes hoodie and jeans look like an awful choice. Although Mark knows for sure that tonight Taeyong's eyes will only glued to Jaehyun. Just like always. But that doesn't make Mark stop feeling so anxious. He finally decides to wear t-shirt, ripped skinny jeans, and use leather jacket as the outer. The kind of outfits Taeyong usually wears when he meets Jaehyun. After an hour full of anxiety, Mark finally arrived at Jaehyun's house. The party seems has been starting few minutes ago. Mark grabs his red cup and decides to say hi to Johnny. Being with Johnny means he has to deal with the crowd of woman that will stay with Johnny all night long. But that kind situation is the best place to stalk Taeyong. Mark doesn't love party but that doesn't mean he hates it. Party is a place where he can stalk Taeyong without worrying about anything. Party will make him forget about reality. Also red cups are everywhere, his favorite. But sometimes party just turns into a boring event. Only leave him bitter the next morning.

   Mark finally sees Taeyong, lingering his hands to Jaehyun's shoulder. He's friend with Jaehyun since a long time ago but giving up Taeyong to him isn't easy, never been easy. And he hates it so much. But he can't say that to Jaehyun. He doesn't want to give up on his friendship either. Because Mark knows that Taeyong would never love him and to give up his friendship for false hope and heartbreak isn’t an option. Every minutes feel so long. Mark can't stand Johnny's crowd anymore so he just sits in the corner; drinking more. Waiting until he’s finally drunk and passed out. But he sees Taeyong walks to him; definitely drunk. But his eyes are burning with lust. Or maybe that's just Mark's imagination because he isn’t sure if he hasn’t drunk yet now. And the next thing Mark knows is Taeyong placing his hand on mark's nape. Taeyong is just so close to Mark, he can see how red Taeyong’s lips are, how enchanting his face is. Taeyong's breath is so soothing. But his eyes just like what Mark saw before, burning. His hands are also burning. Mark can't even breathe properly right now. He can feel his blood running through his cheeks. He's also burning. Hotter than ever. Hotter than when Taeyong grabbed his collar. Because finally after a long time Taeyong doesn’t look at him with anger. Mark thinks they will finally kiss each other, fall, and do other thing. But Taeyong is too drunk to do that and Mark doesn't have the gut to do so. Until finally Taeyong is unconscious. Mark is just dumb. Of course Taeyong won't kiss him and even if he ever kisses him, that’s probably because he thinks that Mark is Jaehyun, nothing more. And Mark has to swallow that bitter reality.

C.     Days past so slowly, and Mark still thinks about his almost kiss with Taeyong. He still remembers everything. How Taeyong's breath tickled his face, how Taeyong's mouth smells like cheap alcohol, how red Taeyong's lips are. Mark feels like he's going to be crazy if he keeps thinking about what happened that night. "Shit" Mark sighs, he can't do this anymore but he can't stop. How ridiculous. He grabs his jacket in rush before running through his apartment stairs. He needs Donghyuck right now, someone who could probably distract him from Taeyong. Donghyuck lives 4 blocks from Mark's apartment. Mark runs all the way to Donghyuck's, he just wants to block everything about Taeyong from his mind, because every single thing about Taeyong will only leave him with a broken heart. Mark arrived at Donghyuck's 15 minutes later; as usual Donghyuck is drinking his favorite coffee while watching some stupid show. When Mark entered the building he turns his head to Mark, tries to look uninterested.

"What's up Mark? Why the fuck you're sweating so badly? Dude?" Mark can tell how worried Donghyuck is right now. He always shows that expression whenever Mark is at his awful stage.

"I'm fine. I just need to drink." Mark walks to Donghyuck’s kitchen to grab a drink, too early for a beer but who cares.

"Taeyong, huh?"

"Maybe." Mark just shrugs; he doesn’t want to discuss about it right now.

"Isn't it too early for beer?" Mark thought nobody cares, but apparently Donghyuck does.

"Well, nothing is too early when my heart hurts, Donghyuck." Mark answers sarcastically.

"Right."

The silence takes over for a few second. But not until Mark comes closer to Donghyuck, leaning a kiss that turns wilder after Donghyuck reacts to it. They finally pull apart after running out of breath.

"What does it feel like to kiss someone you love?" Mark asks while thinking about how alluring Taeyong lips are.

"Great, of course. Feels like paradise? Kind of that."

    Mark knows Donghyuck falls for him since a long time ago. Sometimes he feels so awful for using Donghyuck. But he doesn't know how to stop; he wants to love Donghyuck as much as Donghyuck wants to be with him. But when he thinks about Taeyong everything else just seems so blurry, even Donghyuck's gentle touch doesn't even enough to compare with Taeyong's rough touch. He feels nothing with Donghyuck only pleasure that only last for a minute after that he only feels emptiness that keeps trying to kill him.

"Mark?"

"What?"

"Please stop messing around with Taeyong." Donghyuck’s voice is just bland. Almost sounds like someone who’s begging. Mark never heard that tone comes from Donghyuck before. The Donghyuck he sees now is different.

"You know I can't" There’s sorrow in his words, playfully floating in the air around Mark.

"I know. That's why I seriously want to just punch you for doing this to me but you know too that I can't." Donghyuck supposed to sound angry. But he doesn’t even raise his pitch.

"I’m sorry" Mark tries to reach Donghyuck hand, slipping his fingers through. Hoping that could make Donghyuck feels better. But that is just not enough.

"Yeah whatever, Taeyong always makes you either soft or hard, nothing in between, if you know what I mean."

    Donghyuck gets up to find some fresh air while Mark still sits in front of TV, too bitter to do anything, even react to Donghyuck's lame joke, that's not a joke, just a painful truth. In days like this Mark and Donghyuck will do what normal couples do when they're with their lovers. Except the conversation between Mark and Donghyuck will be harsh and full of angst, and except they're not a normal couple. They're just simply complicated.

"Mark, aren't you tired?" Donghyuck asks from across the room while blowing smoke from his mouth.

"Of what? Chasing Taeyong?"

"Yeah"

"I am, but it's hard to stop even if I’m tired as hell."

"I think you should just confess to him."

"It's hard dumbass, what about Jaehyun? Things will never be the same again."

"Well that's the point. You should change something; maybe just maybe Taeyong will love you back. And even if he won’t, you know where I am."

   Donghyuck knows he's just being egoist. Mark knows that too. He wants to stop Mark from chasing Taeyong. He wants Mark to be his, even if Mark's heart is not, even if that hurts Mark. He doesn't want to, but everything becomes so unbearable. He can't bear seeing Mark’s sad face when he talks about Taeyong. Donghyuck wants to end Mark’s pain by giving him this last wound, but will that wound finally heal without leaving an ugly scar to Mark's heart? He doesn't know.

D.     After what happens in Donghyuck's apartment, Mark finally decides he has to confess. He knows he's just dumb as fuck to follow what Donghyuck said. But he doesn't want to suffer again and again. Maybe after Taeyong rejected him, he finally could move on, try to love Donghyuck. Of course, Mark knows how thing won't work out that smooth. Taeyong's rejection could make him suffer for a long period, it could break his friendship with Jaehyun, and it will definitely leave an awful scar. Thinking about that makes Mark's stomach hurts. He never felt this anxious before, not even close to when his teacher found out that he was smoking cigarette at school. His footsteps become so heavy, he seriously thinks about dropping his plan now. But everything is too late. Mark can see Taeyong's perfect figure, standing in front of his apartment door. Mark freezes for a second. He takes a deep breath before shouting the black-haired-boy's name. Taeyong turns to Mark. Their gazes meet each other. Mark's brown eyes meet Taeyong's burning gaze.

"I wanna say something to you."

"What?" Taeyong still sounds as annoyed as usual.

"I think I'm.." Mark hisses a curse. He's good at writing lyrics but he can't even arrange appropriate sentences to confess his feeling.

"What Mark? I know I'm being too kind than I'm supposed to but are you okay?"

    Mark wants to scream that he's not okay, that he's struggling right now, that he wants Taeyong to love him but he can't. He just answers Taeyong's question with a small I'm fine. Taeyong just shrugs in answer. He's about to leave when Mark finally can find his voice.

"Wait... I think I'm in love with you” Mark waits Taeyong’s reaction before continuing but Taeyong doesn’t react. That’s when he realized that he’s just dumb to even do this at the first place.

“I'm sorry I shouldn't even say this."

Mark is really screwed. He just leaves without looking at Taeyong again, but before he could turn around he feels Taeyong's warm hand holds his left hand.

"Shit Mark Lee, you really have a crush on me? The Taeyong who you always mock? The Taeyong who almost punched you to death because you called him a worthless piece of shit? Whoa, amazing."

Mark wants to laugh, but he can't. For a minute he thought that Taeyong probably would accept his feeling. But then the way Taeyong speaks really hits him hard, drag him back to the fact that this is not some kind of romance novel.

"But you know I kinda find you're hot that night when I almost kissed you. Let's date then."

Mark can't believe what Taeyong just said. He keeps reminding himself that this is just some kind hallucination his head tries to create.

"What about Jaehyun?"

"I broke up with him 3 days ago." Yeah, he can tell that from how dark Taeyong's eye bags now, he probably hasn't slept much since the last 3 days.

"So it's fine if we're together now?" Dumb question. Of course it's not. Taeyong probably will only use him to substitute Jaehyun. He knows he's down into Taeyong's sweet trap again but everything's just too amazing he can't let it go no matter how fucked up it sounds.

E.    Dating Taeyong still seems like a dream mixes with nightmare. Every touch seems so blurry yet exciting. And Mark falls too deep, he won't able to escape. He's already Taeyong's prey since the first time Mark looked at his eyes and fell in love, but now the different is he's already caged. Mark wouldn't mind everything of course. Because now Taeyong's gentle touch is his, not Jaehyun's anymore. He finally can answer his own question, how does it feel to kiss the one you love? He knows what kind of paradise Donghyuck refers to. He's really sinking now when Taeyong's lips touch his own. He can feel his lungs working so hard when Taeyong grabs his nape, just like that night, but gently. Taeyong’s breath still smells like cheap alcohol but mixed with mints. Mark realized now that Taeyong's kiss is an addiction. He won’t able to stop, and he doesn't want to. Just like an addict, he keeps wanting for more. Both of them are finally parted, gasping from the lack of oxygen. Mark leans on Taeyong's bed room, still in hangover after kissing Taeyong. While Taeyong lights his cigarette.

"Why do you even agree to date me Mark, you know I'm not even in love with you." Those words sting and simply break Mark's heart.

"That is a dumb question. You already know the answer, why do you bother to ask?"

"Just wanna break the silence."

"Yeah you definitely just broke the silence and my heart Lee Taeyong."

"Stop exaggerating. I've broken your heart thousand times if you count yet you're still here."

"I can't argue with that."

    Conversation like that happens a lot. Mark wants to avoid it because he doesn't want to feel the hurt but Taeyong keeps bringing that up every time. Maybe he just doesn't know what to talk about when his head full of Jaehyun; Mark thinks.

"You're still in love with Jaehyun, right?" Taeyong nods.

"Then why you even bother to date me?" Mark knows the answer better than anyone. Just like what he does to Donghyuck, he just wants to give up his feeling; he wants to stop yearning over someone who doesn't even care about him, though he knows that won't work out. He still tries just like what Taeyong does to him.

"Just trying to do something other than mourning about my break. And maybe giving you false hope, you want since forever." Mark laughs, but the feeling is just so bitter.

“I think I should leave now. See you tomorrow."

    Mark wishes he could just deal with heartbreak. He feels that so many times yet the next heartbreak still feels as painful as the one before it. Just like today, he knows Taeyong will break his heart again even after everything seems fine, but Mark is too in love to even back off right now. Taeyong will burn him, and he's still not going to run.

F.     Heartbreak will always lead him to Donghyuck's apartment. He just can't stand being alone when his thought is ready to consume him. He knows Donghyuck will be mad after he heard his sad-romance novel-worthy story about Taeyong, but who’s going to listen to it except Donghyuck.     Mark can tell how bored Donghyuck is when he starts to talk. But after all he has to spill everything before he lost his shit. Donghyuck just stays quiet but doesn't last long after Mark said he knows Taeyong's just using him.

"Shit Mark, I know you've been using me for months but you shouldn't have done that. That's ironic. I mean you don’t need to feel what is like to be like me.” Another joke Donghyuck tries to crack. But that was an ironic one.

"You know for shit, I don’t do it because of that reason, Lee Donghyuck. And I thought we shared the same feelings." Again another irony, yeah the might share feelings, of how Donghyuck also feels one sided love, Mark feels. Or how Donghyuck knows exactly what it feels like to be used, just for relief and pleasure. Same as Mark.

"Yeah, whatever. You shouldn't even be here. I'm sick of everything seriously, I thought after you confessed everything will become much better, and I'm wrong. I'm deeply sorry that I have to drag you to confess and face your heartbreak but you know I can't do this anymore. Months are enough for me to swallow all the bitter feeling. I want to move on. So please just don't come here again, or I won't stop hurting myself."

    Mark knows eventually he’s going to face this situation, where Donghyuck can’t stand him anymore. Donghyuck is always a though boy, someone who dares to drink a bottle of vodka if you challenge him to, just to maintain his pride. But the Donghyuck, Mark sees now is just as fragile as him. Waiting for someone to comfort him, Mark can't do that. Enough of everything, he shouldn't hurt Donghyuck again by giving him a hug and comforting words. So he just walks away, tries to mutter a sorry that Donghyuck won't listen.

G.     Donghyuck leaves him, eventually, but he still stays with Taeyong. His feeling already took over his sanity. Or maybe he's just too high right now. He spends days listening to Taeyong's rants, but he just never tired of it. Though sometimes stories about Jaehyun could easily triggers him. Taeyong is barely sober. Both of them are just drunk. Mark's drunk because of love where Taeyong's drunk because of his cheap alcohol.

"Mark, I'm tired." Mark stares Taeyong blankly, he wants to read Taeyong but Taeyong is a closed book that he barely can open.

"Tired of what?" Mark asks. The only way to understand Taeyong is to ask question.

"Loving Jaehyun, wanting him to comeback, mourning memories I can never change. He moved on while I'm barely even forgetting small thing about him."

   At this moment, Taeyong doesn't need to put everything into words; because Mark can understand pain easily. He can sympathize to what Taeyong feels right now without faking it, just like what others do.

"I know. I'm tired too."

"Of what? Me?" This time the black haired guy is the one who asks question. Mark shakes his head before answering.

"Wishing you could love me the way you do to Jaehyun. Yearning for someone to love me when he’s in love with another boy, which is my former best friend. Crying because my heart aches every time you talk about Jaehyun. I'm tired of that but not you."

"I guess we're both fucked up in different ways." Taeyong's voice is so soft, Mark almost drowns. But he can only laugh, bitterly. Again for so many times he lost count.

"By the way Jaehyun is not your former best friend, he's still your best friend. He won't hate you just because you're dating me; he's just too kind to even hate a person, especially you." Taeyong tries to fake a smile. Too bitter to actually comfort someone. But he tries it anyway. Maybe alcohol already did something to his head, Mark thinks.

"You must know a lot about Jaehyun until you can say something like that so confidently."

"I knew a lot about him. Past tense. I barely know him, now. But now I know you." Mark freezes for a moment. At time like this he turns into a soft person who will grab sweetness that comes from Taeyong's mouth.

"You've known me since a long time ago, what's new now?" Mark means that sarcastically, but his words melt into a weak tone.

"At least I know how sincere your feelings are; maybe we could try to know each other more. Maybe time will finally heal my wound so you can leave a new one."

Words can be so powerful. It could drag Mark, and leave him with bruises, but he doesn't care what Taeyong just said is rare. He won't get any other chance.

"I won't dare to do that, even if I want to revenge everything you did to me."

"I know." Taeyong smiles before leaning a kiss. This time his touch seems less blurry. Even if Taeyong's tastes like cheap alcohol right now, Mark doesn't care. He's stop caring long time ago. Now he just wants to be with Taeyong. Nothing else matter.

Last.     Mark found Taeyong in the middle of wildfire, desperately get out from that. But Mark knows Taeyong itself is a fire; trying to burn every single piece of him, while the fire burns him too. Both are hurt, badly. In one way or another they're ready to give up, let the fire burn them.     But that burning sensation finally turns into warm they've been seeking ever since. Even if that warm only stays for a while, they don't mind it. They'll try to heal; they'll try to stay, because they believe someday they'll find happiness, for real.

[torentialtribute]

Playstation fans might love the idea of a European breakaway but football fans would hate it

You are a slimeball who lost his own values ​​for the money, just like Alan others. Your job is to defend the common train that you use. People look through it. No, little brain, my work is journalism. It was when I started as a teenager at Hayters Sports Agency in 1982 and that's it now. So my career – I was promoted from publishing to paperwork in 1983 – dates from before the Premier League came in almost a decade. I was in a national newspaper in 1985, the year of the disaster at the Heysel Stadium, a time when English football, no jus train at all, had no friend in the world. And many of my biggest career prospects come from writing about subjects other than football; columns at the front of newspapers, for example, and wider sports. So journalism is what I do for money, and if football ends tomorrow, it would still be. The expansion and success of the game is a happy coincidence, not something that I feel I have to defend or protect. I am against many of the breaks with tradition, from separate leagues, against European elites and senseless altered comics and my values ​​have not changed since I started. I even took the time to answer idiots like yourself, to misuse and hide in the anonymity behind egoistic aliases on the internet, to place their dribble. Oh yeah. This column will not exist forever, so I will do what I always do from here. Put some good music to amuse myself and try to speak to the intelligent in the room. Give it to 13.05; Let it build and everything will fall into place.

Scudamore, a little return.

Scudamore must call Sir Alex Ferguson and then thank him, and then give his bonus to a charity. Then he would have to call the various presidents Manchester United never compromised to negotiate our own TV deal and to thank them. And yet on the leaving party of Scudamore the video of thanks came from Ferguson and David Gill, which would suggest that they had a better idea of ​​his contribution than You, Lewis. Yes, Manchester United would have done a great deal of damage by breaking it down and only doing it on TV rights. But who do you think they will convince? Who explained the virtue of a competitive competition – both financially and ethically – instead of what could have been developed throughout Europe? Who saved the peace between the elite of the Premier League and the rest? Who has allowed the elite to expand so that now every season six clubs and stakes can set their sights on the Champions League? Manchester United did not act out of charity, especially since the acquisition by Glazer.

[Spaans] [Spaans] [Spaans] [Spaans] [Spaans] [Spaans]

So many northern teams – Sunderland, Aston Villa, West Bromwich Albion, Middlesbrough , Bolton and Coventry, just to name a few – are trading in the lower division. Within ten years the Premier League will consist of southern teams and Manchester City, Manchester United and Liverpool. Money has killed our beloved game. Englandisbest, Birmingham.

Huh? There is every chance that at least two, and maybe more, of the teams you mention will return to the Premier League next season. And what about teams from the south who have been killed, such as Charlton, QPR, Portsmouth, Ipswich and Reading? There is no north-south gap caused by finances, only the usual cyclical success and the failure of football clubs. Sunderland will be back one day, just as a club like Fulham will inevitably fall (and then return). Half of the professional league clubs have now experienced the Premier League and the idea that the top division will one day be three northern clubs and 17 from the south is frankly ridiculous. London may have a marginal advantage in foreign recruitment, because it is the capital and easier to sell as a basis for players and coaches from abroad. That also has its flaws, because a player – or even a manager – may put the location at risk for the wrong reasons.

Point three: Raheem Sterling.

In the period of, about, 1939-1945, there was a very influential politician on the territory of Germany, who was also a product of his time. Before anyone ridicules me, calls me insensitive or throws a PC wordcloud – I said verbiage, I meant refuse – to me, I do not compare the actions of Sterling with those of that politician. I only point out that you can make excuses throughout history for many awful things, just by saying that they are a product of a certain time. Most players do not do what Sterling does every day and certainly not so often. He should be ashamed. I know he will not be, but that is not surprising. And you have to stop justifying and making excuses for him.

Unbelievably, this was in response to a column that said that Sterling's decision not to clean up about his journey in the Champions League – what resulted in a ridiculous penalty award against Shakhtar Donetsk – makes him a product of his team; a time in which professionals are conditioned to take advantage in all possible ways. Suddenly I defend Adolf Hitler. Look, Hitler was not a product of his time. There are certain economic, historical and geopolitical conditions that contributed to his rise, but he was essentially a mass-murdering psychopath, with manic Jew-hatred and what he believed to be impure races and specimens. Sterling was a man who stumbled across the football field and in a fraction of a second weakness broke out of a bad referee. He is not a Hitler. He is not Mussolini. He is not even Boris Johnson.

] Martin Samuel can tell the difference between the old Division One and the Premier League to explain? Note: there is no other difference than governance and better marketing. And yet we are bombarded with statistics about records in the Premier League. There is no difference between winning Liverpool Division One in 1990 and Manchester United winning the Premier League in 1994. They played many of the same teams and the same number of games. Manchester City was praised for being the first club to reach 100 points, which is only relevant to the final tables since 1981 when three points for wins came in. Perhaps a journalist is willing to look back at the records to see if a club would have gained 100 points with three points for a win. Just a thought. Or you could do it yourself. It is searching for two seconds on the internet. What am I, your researcher? I mean it, how lazy do you have to be? You could not even bother to check when three points came in for a win, so you got it four years wrong (I corrected you 1985 to 1981). And the level of Manchester City's performance was fairly broad in May, but here it is again anyway. Most points under two to win in the old Division One was Liverpool with 68 in 1978-79. Manchester City got 100 points last season under the three-point system. Liverpool won 30 games and drew eight, however, were still a deficit of the century with 98 points, even under the new system. Never forget that they played 42 games that year. Their total under three points for a victory would then be 2.33 points per match, in contrast to City 2.63. So City was the best champion, and the best Division One champions would have been second with 11-12 points.

Regarding the difference between the two divisions, I have often written about the false notion that football started in 1992, not least when Jamie Vardy came closer to a consecutive scorecard against. held by Ruud van Nistelrooy. Yet Van Nistelrooy was only a Premier League record. The real was held by Jimmy Dunne, of Sheffield United, and dated from 1931-32. I devoted a whole column to him and the fact that we have a tendency to ignore performance that took place for our modern television time. Having said this, the Premier League has existed long enough, and football is different enough to manage individual columns in the record books – or at least distinctions. On Saturday, West Ham became the first team to give four or more goals to the same team, Manchester City, in four consecutive home games (three in the league, one in the FA Cup), as City itself went up heavily to Wolves in four games between 1957 and 1960. However, football was higher then scoring and three of those games were won with a margin of one or two goals. So the performance of West Ham is considerably worse, because the Premier League is different in some ways.

Did not go to America to report do the Chicago Cubs that won the World Series? The concept without a degradation franchise may not be the failure you think. There is a blueprint to make it a success.

Yes, but it is not our blueprint. I have reported on American sports, with its franchise system, and seen how it works, but what is accepted here is an abomination to us.

I suspect that most fans under 25 are fond of the idea of ​​a European Super League. Attitudes change and this idea will become more and more acceptable. Rock, Northampton. Fans under 25 who actually go will not; and they are the football needs of fans.

I totally agree that the last thing football needs is a European competition, but the argument has to be to consider all sides. You're right when you say that the big clubs need the Premier League, but the blow is that the Premier League also needs the big clubs. You only have to look at the difference in viewing figures for Sky and BT if they have one of the big clubs and if they have two teams from the lower regions. All you have to do is watch the sports pages of a newspaper, including the Daily Mail, to see who gets the most coverage. It is not only about the appeal of a European League, but also about what happens to the Premier League when it is deterred from its biggest names. In an ideal world, the profession would remain high, because it would be even more competitive, but realistically, at least in the short term, the presence of the big clubs and the big names plus the newness of the competition would make a European League an attractive package. . to TV companies.

But it is short-lived, as you say. And then Juventus discovers that they are a mid-table club in the new setup and are Arsenal relegation candidates – except relegation will not exist, so they just play a terribly boring season – and the competition flops and the TV companies lose interest. Yes, the Premier League needs its name titles – but it is a symbiotic relationship and must be treated as such.

Martin sounds a bit like Juncker who warns Great Britain against the Brexit. I would say that it is only a matter of time before some European Super League replaces the current Champions League. The financial rewards are also great and tempting for the European elite, especially because they have the constant uncertainty that they have to end up in qualified positions. And as far as the artificiality is concerned, the Premier League could not be more artificial, with most of the big clubs that are not owned, run, managed, coached or played by anyone. Billiam Shears, Bury.

Yes, and Juncker was completely wrong with the mess that was Brexit, was not it? I can understand how annoying it would be for the biggest clubs to go through the bad things, which are actually worthy of qualifying for the alleged elite competition, but for the other it is precisely the definition of artificiality in sport. In contrast to the idea that foreign investments, property or talent are wrong, which sounds rather petty and insular. Like Brexit.

The panicky words of a West Ham fan. If the big six were to go, they would bring TV money and sponsorship. The big companies do not pay millions for the smaller local support from clubs like West Ham, Everton or Southampton. They pay for the global audience of Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea. You know how it works, Martin: the paper you work for produces ten times more stories for those clubs than the others, because they are the ones who get the readers. All the best players will also want to play in the Super League, so expect a lot of version characters making it harder to hold players. Some clubs will be fine, but the smaller yo-yo clubs will not like it when things like parachute pay. Panicked West Ham fan? On the contrary, I wrote a column in which I invoked the bluff of every club that threatened an escape. Notice how quickly they all deteriorated when they saw the public response, and especially that of their own fans? They could not run away from the smell quickly enough. Please, go. I pull up an armchair and turn off the popcorn. Weasels in a bag, after two years. Guaranteed.

Think of Kerry Packer? They said it would never work. The changed cricket forever. Wiganer 65, Wigan.

Really, because I could swear that I will report this summer from The Ashes, and not from a Packer-inspired circus. I have better conditions for the players. That is hardly the problem in football, right?

In Nigeria we have about 200 million people who want to pay premium prices to see big clubs play in South Africa, let alone in the neighborhood, It's a problem. Do you not get the most out of your income from TV nowadays? The International Champions Cup flops because clubs bring reserve players, but stadiums will be full as the best to see. Given the decision to view my team against Cardiff and Huddersfield as opposed to Real Madrid and Juventus every week, what would I prefer? Even you know the answer to that Martin, so you can write all the impurities you want, but the Super League will be a great success. I think your real anger is that small clubs like West Ham can not get in. Emmanuelgold, Nigeria

So Nigeria has 200 million who want to watch football? So why is every half-valued Nigerian player in Europe? Why is your competition not flooded with money as a result of this passion? There is a difference between turning a button on a television or buying a knock-off shirt for which the club does not receive money and installs the hard yards. If English clubs would leave English football, they would be rejected by their core support, which has already shrunk within a few months. If those clubs were eliminated from UEFA, if their players were excluded by FIFA, they would go to a shell. Keep on turning on these televisions, but the heart of the game is in place and will always stay that way. Is there no Nigerian team that you should name yours instead? In this way, the best African players can actually stay in Africa. Until next time. This has nothing to do with anything. It is simply beautiful, and you simply can not be wondrous enough in the world.

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It’s time

Changes are inevitable. We change due to many reasons. Maybe that thing isn’t working for us anymore or we just got bored. For me, I tend to embrace change as much as I can. However, alike everyone else, I only want bad things to change and good things to remain. Be that as it may, this is life. Everything change. Nothing goes according to plan. It never does.

IreviewUread have changed over the years. When it started, I wanted it to be a sample redemption blog. A blog to compile all the sample redemption links in Singapore so that both you and I could redeem some freebies. With Singapore being Singapore, there’s only so much samples you can redeem. Eventually, I was running out of samples to redeem. The content quickly changed into posts which states ‘look at the contest prizes I’ve won’. However, that was too egoistic and pointless for me. At that period of time, I started to take some of the samples I’ve redeemed and reviewed them. Boy, was I bad at that. There were not enough words, too much brackets and just too unemotional. However, with the support of some sponsors, I managed to grow. Eventually with some push from my sponsors and from reading other bloggers’ blogs, my posts and photography became better, much better.

With that said, that doesn’t mean that IreviewUread was at the end of its journey. It’s just time for more drastic changes. Over the 5 years’ changes such as changing the blog skin, expanding its scope from beauty to beauty and lifestyle to now beauty, lifestyle and DIY, creating my very own tool bar at one point of time, my alter ego named Anais, a draw board, tag board - there’s just too many changes which happened here. In addition to that, I collaborated and joined various community in hopes of boosting the readership of IreviewUread too. There’s just too many things to say when it comes to my 5 years old blog. Yes, it did bring a ton of stress into my life, it did change my life drastically for I never did anything this ‘official’ before. At the same time, IreviewUread opened up so many doors I never thought I could – collaborating with sponsors, going to media launches, trying out so many new things, learning just about everything.

I know I am writing like as if IreviewUread is some great blog with thousands over subscribers and such – I know it’s not and I’m satisfied with the way it is; this doesn’t mean that I would not keep trying – but it is also not nothing. It has been my pathway into learning more about the beauty world, the blogging world and being in the eyes of the public. I will always appreciate it for what it has done for me – although it’s basically a bunch of htmls – thus I want to do more for it, me, both. It’s all just moulted into one at this state.

As of 2017, there will be changes in IreviewUread. Things are going to get personal. On my Instagram (@IreviewUreadsh) and on my Facebook page (IreviewUread) and more importantly on my blog. For those of you whom are on my Facebook, changes have already been made. There’s lots of weird, funny, informative to a certain extend posts shared there and I’m really glad you guys interacted with them for those are the only way I can gauge what you all like. As for my Instagram and my youtube (IreviewUread), I’m still figuring that out – help me. Now, here on my blog we’re going to be more personal. More long posts like this, lesser affiliated posts and the start of travel posts. I want to expand IreviewUread to be more than just another beauty reviews blogs, to produce more lifestyle posts and entertaining humorous posts. Drifting away from the original niche is always difficult and it requires a lot of learning but it’s ok because you are going to learn all these things too!

In addition to that, I will be deleting all the sample redemption posts from 5 years ago because the dead links is affecting my SEO and I can’t go further because of that. My theme may be changed and I will not put a ‘read more’ button at the bottom of my post (for the time being). These are the main huge changes which will be taken place over the next few months so this post is more of a ‘Heads up! Volleyball coming your way!’ kind of post.

Here’s a preview of my Episode story YEAH!

Another thing to note is because I am still a student, with many other interests such as learning the Ukulele, writing my very own story on Episode app, journaling, youtubing, collaborating, having a social life and a lot of whatnots things to do, this process will be long. Because I am one person and there’s only 24 hours a day. However, don’t you worry because I will still try to update IreviewUread at least once a week. If you’re worried just check out my social media for more social updates, after all its social media right? – Ok get used to this because lamer jokes will be coming your way. Hooray! Alright got some work to do, some life to live.