#yeah i think that qualifies as a burnout alright

[orsanedraws]

man. my company work is really messing with my head. every day i stress about doing it right so much so that i project the anxiety onto my personal art, always searching for mistakes, and i can't look at the result as something... unique and pretty. i really do forget than nobody can do it EXACTLY like me.

[ask-thebrothers-kaiba]

A long read, but --

/ I started feeling a little burnout muse-wise on both blogs, so I decided to go looking for some old YGO writings I have lying around. This one I found on my old (OLD) highschool laptop about one of my old-ish OCs Skyler, and a newer one I created last year, Cassandra. They’re both tied into the YGO universe, both of them working under Kaiba. 

Skyler’s role really isn’t that substantial; she’s just the receptionist in KC’s lobby (she interacts more with Yugi and Co when they stroll in from time to time). Cassandra I made specifically to be Seto’s personal assistant, because I wanted to test the boundaries of my theory that he’d be more willing to place his trust and respect in women -- to a similar level that he trusts Roland and the other guy whose name I can’t remember ( rip, I’m sorry :c ). I hope that isn’t too ~social justice~ for anyone, because that really isn’t the intent -- it was more something I noticed while watching the series, aka, Seto’s few-and-far-between interactions with women ( see Tea/Anzu as a prime example; I don’t count Ishizu however, because she not only tried to make him believe something which he viewed as completely fictitious, but she also became an important rival during Battle City, and we all know how he treats his rivals ). 

With that being said, I went ahead and threw Cassandra into the most uncomfortable and off-putting situation I could imagine in the beginning of the series: During Seto’s coma after his first duel with Yami Yugi. None of it’s truly canon to the tale, but I really enjoyed the outcome! And I hope you guys will, too, because I’m putting the whole thing under a cut. The very first part is obviously set further into the future than the rest of this story (I wanted to give myself the option of continuing it if I wanted to in-future). 

                                                                                                         “I feel as though I always understood – him, I mean. Mokuba has let little things slip here and there that have made me wonder. I don’t know if you have ever really listened, but I have.

               “Boys don’t just grow up into men like him, yaknow? He’s holding back something so old… No, no. It’s more like he’s holding it in. Pushing it away. Shoving it down where he thinks it belongs – do I make any sense to you?”

                 Sitting at the back of a newly-built Kaiba Corp. cafe, Yugi nodded, and responded with a tone so nostalgic that made Cassandra feel more at ease with her thoughts.

              “Believe me, I get it. I learned that a long time ago. He’s really something else.”  

“To expect the unexpected” is a phrase very familiar to those dealing in the world of corporate business. Anything and everything could go wrong with the wrong move, the wrong people – it was simply a matter of being prepared. In most situations, Cassandra would have been.  As a secretary and part-time assistant of the young man Kaiba Corp., she had earned her place outside the CEO’s headquarters, as well a relative amount of trust between herself and the president’s younger brother and their bodyguard, Roland. Most days, her tasks would be laid out for her the moment she arrived, and throughout the day’s latter hours they would all be finished, one after the other. Impossible scheduling, massive file maintenance, keeping a watchful eye on every new schemer about to enter her boss’s abode – all standard tasks she had learned to keep rhythm with. Something felt very atypical on a morning she came in early, however. Everyone seemed on edge and quiet, as if afraid speaking might trigger an assassination. Walking through the Kaiba Corporation lobby was now strange and unfamiliar to Cassandra; like uncharted territory. She carried herself onward toward an elevator across the room, but not a soul looked away from their duties except to glance at her as she passed, looking back to their tasks once she was out of range. Not even the receptionist, Skyler, seemed happy as she usually was. The woman uttered a quiet “Welcome to Kaiba Corp.” to the sound of closing doors, and that was that. Cassandra’s first guess – a quick, short-sighted one – might have been that the bad weather starting off their day was affecting to blame, but rather than sticking to that idea, she felt the need to ask what was going on. She’d heard nothing so far from anyone in the room, no one had bothered to call, she had no e-mails -- If something serious had happened, where was the news? Why was she the last to know? Skyler, as good an acquaintance as she was, hadn’t bothered to warned her beforehand either.

“Have I done something wrong? Have I been fired? I wish someone would just say something!”

Changing her course of direction, Cassandra went to Skyler’s desk, gently tapping her head to get her attention.

               “Skyler, did you not see me come in? What’s going on? What happened since yesterday?” She asked, growing concerned with each passing second.  She could feel the anxiety clawing at her back, reeling internally as it manifested in her voice. Skyler looked on at her in pity, as if she didn’t know what to say, but exhaled and attempted to answer anyway.

               “Something happened to mister Kaiba last night. He’s in the hospital, supposedly in a coma, but for some reason nobody knows why. You… Saw him in school yesterday, right? I took yesterday off, so I don’t know anything about his whereabouts.”

                 Cassandra nodded, although her memory of actually seeing him was vague. She and the young man in question were roughly the same age, but Cassandra had tested out of the tenth grade long before Kaiba’s sudden enrollment, making it difficult for her to have seen him there in person. She did hear of “some new rich kid” arriving in a limousine, however, so by putting two and two together, she guessed that must have been him.

               “Well,” Cassandra replied, “He came back here right after school that day – we arrived at the same time. But he left the building within the hour, school uniform and all – and he seemed so serious. Well, I mean; he’s always serious, but this was different. It kind of felt like… Rage.”

               “It? You mean he was angry?”

               “Oh! Yeah, that’s- that’s more what I meant. The air about him was really unpleasant at best, and I remember Mokuba insisting on going with him.”

               “Poor kid…  Anyway, all I’ve heard is that he ended up on the other side of town where a new Dueling Arena is being constructed. The one with the technology our company and Industrial Illusions have been putting their resources into. Mokuba called an ambulance from there, and we’ve been told to go about business as usual. We’re not allowed to say a word to anyone outside this building – it’s all very hush-hush. So, sorry for the lack of forewarning.” Skyler ended with a sigh, her fingers tracing a circle on her forehead.

               “Tensions are so high right now and we don’t even know what’s going on…”

               The woman’s skepticism was apparent, though this wasn’t to say she didn’t feel concerned. Kaiba may have been a harsh young man, brash and unrelenting with his employees, but he was well-respected. No one wanted to think about what it might mean for Seto to die, for not only the company’s sake, but for Mokuba’s. It was common knowledge that the CEO Kaiba was Mokuba’s legal guardian, but as far as familial connections, that’s as far as it all went. No one knew what might come of the younger boy, should his brother not pull through.

               Cassandra swallowed a dry lump in her throat and rubbed the tops of her hands.

               “So anyway, some schmucks called The Big Five will be running things in his stead, and I really don’t think mister Kaiba would agree with what they’re doing. I can’t say for sure, but… I don’t know. I don’t know either of the boys personally, but I can’t help but feel like something isn’t right.”

               By the tone of Skyler’s voice and the uncanny reversal of her usual mood, Cassandra had to agree.

               “Do you think I should… Try to contact Mokuba or something? I really want to know if he’s alright. I’m not deeply familiar with them either, but I do know how much he loves his brother, and I don’t know if he has anyone to go to. Except for Roland, maybe…”

               Cassandra was hesitant to take action despite having a strong urge to do so. She cared a great deal for both of the Kaiba brothers, but this was the CEO of Domino’s fastest growing corporation and his little brother she was dealing with. A different protocol was supposed to be taken with elites like them, but at the same time, Cassandra questioned what kind of person she would be if she let a little boy suffer in his time of need. Whether he be a middle-class citizen or the richest kid in the world, Mokuba was still just a child faced with the harsh reality of life and its worst outcome. It may not have been her job, or her place, but it was absolutely her duty to help a boy desperately in need of support. Or at least, that’s how she started to justify it in her head. Skyler’s input only served to strengthen her resolve.

               “I think that’s a fine idea. I wish I could to it myself, but Mokuba seems to trust you more than the rest of us. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re on Roland’s level by now. Or, you’re close, at least. Does mister Kaiba trust you at all?”

               “Oh, no, I’m not as close to them as you’re thinking. Mokuba likes me, sure, but he’s just a kid. I sneak him treats and keep him company when his brother is busy, but that’s the extent of it.” The humbleness of her tone belied what seemed to be an apparent truth to Skyler, but since she had no evidence, she decided to shrug the notion off.

               “Still, though. Mokuba needs help, and I think you’re the perfect person for the job. Now, go! Don’t waste anymore time! Oh, and you might want to prepare a statement in case word gets out. Or, I mean – I could try to do that for you? I’m not exactly qualified, but I could give it a shot.”

               Her sudden sudden burst of enthusiasm was enough to give Cassandra the kick she needed to get into gear. She thought about her friend’s offer a moment, but ultimately declined.

               “No, no, it’s fine. If this is all as “hush-hush” as you said, then whoever writes the statement will have to speak with the current higher-ups, and I’ll be where they are anyway. I’ll call Mokuba first and then talk to them, no big deal.”

               Except for the fact that it felt like a big deal. What anxiety felt like before, an unknowing and unseen dread, was now entirely anticipatory in nature. First the elevator. Then the stops. The people. The small-talk she hates when she’s thinking about bigger things – picking up the phone to finally make the call, not knowing what to expect on the other end. A flurry of thoughts, feelings, that too-familiar scratching at the back of her legs—

               “Take a deep breath, Cass. It’s just a phonecall. This isn’t anything you haven’t done before.”

               Skyler gave Cassandra one last eager smile, waving goodbye to her as she entered the elevator to the right of the desk. Once its doors shut, Cassandra pressed the button that would take her to the top floor, hoping- no, praying, that she wouldn’t get caught by too many stops. The building was quite large compared to the rest of the city, and held many more people than she thought it might need, and as such people coming in and out of elevators was no uncommon occurrence. She seemed to have luck in her favor, however, and had arrived to the designated floor almost in no time flat.

                Cassandra had reached her station with little interaction to hold her back. There was that one guy from the fifth floor nobody wanted to get stuck with, but that was the least of her concerns. The moment the doors in front of her opened up, she made a bee-line to her desk, promptly setting her work bag below it before sitting down. A conference room down the hall was open and buzzing with conversation – unusual for that time of day, but not shocking. “The Big Five” were apparently in charge for the time being, so she figured it must have been them in that room. Cassandra’s curiosity would normally have overwhelmed her if it weren’t for little Mokuba looming over her thoughts, though she had caught a quick glance of a man’s face through the doorway. She squinted her eyes as if trying to erase the interest of what was going on, looking to her bag to keep his gaze from turning to her. She then bent down, taking her cell phone out of the bag, sitting upright once more to find Mokuba’s contact. Although he wasn’t necessarily supposed to, the boy had given her his phone number and received hers in turn for emergencies (and emergency snacks). It was a rare thing to get a call from Mokuba, as Cassandra generally wasn’t far from him at any given time, but one situation did come up once where Roland was not available to pick him up from school, leaving Seto to hesitantly entrust her with getting Mokuba from there to the company building. His trust was well-placed, as he was nearly relieved to see, but an incident like that never came up again – Seto, of course, made sure of that. Secretly Cassandra wished it might happen again, as she enjoyed hearing about the boy’s day, how he couldn’t wait to show his big brother a good grade, how well he did on his last math test! It reminded her of her own brother – they were the same age, now that she thought about it.

               “Alright, alright, no more distractions. Should I call him with this phone, though? That would technically be talking on the job, and it isn’t allowed if I’m not on break. However…” She thought, setting her personal phone down in exchange for the one on her desk.

               “No one said I couldn’t use this phone to make an important personal call. Well, it’s probably still frowned upon, but I can at least cover for myself if I’m using this one. I’d be more suspicious with my cell.”

               That little dilemma now resolved, Cassandra quickly scrolled through the contacts list on her cell phone, wrote down the number elsewhere, placing the device back into her bag. Occasionally, she would glance up to see if anyone noticed this blatant violation of the rules, but as she thought, everyone else was so engrossed that not a soul saw what she did. She made it known to herself that this would not be happening again, in any case. Things gotten away with once may not so easily be gotten away with twice. Looking to the phone number she previously copied, Cassandra picked up the phone on her desk, dialed the number, waiting anxiously as the phone rang. She thought Mokuba might not pick up after the first five or so rings, and beginning to fear for the worst, Cassandra prepared herself for the onslaught of thoughts that would come to mind when she finally hung up the phone. Was Kaiba dying? Dead? Would he be in a coma forever? Would he need life support until he finally gave out? What about his projects? What could possibly have happened to put him into that situation, and what’s going to happen to Mokuba? Who will take care of him? He’s just a little boy. He’s just –

               “Hello?”

               Cassandra nearly shot out of her seat. In a fit of surprise she gasped, quickly placing her free hand atop her chest, forcing herself to be much quieter than her voice wanted her to be.

               “Mokuba! I’m so glad to hear from you. I – I heard what happened. Sort of. All I know is that your brother is in the hospital. Are you okay? Are you with him? Is Roland with you?”

               She didn’t mean to ask so much all at once, but her emotions were running on overload, worry being the chief among them. It took the boy a moment to process all of her questions, but eventually, he did answer.

               “Yeah, I’m fine, and Roland’s outside my brother’s room. We’re actually at home now. I didn’t think Seto would want to be in a hospital…”

               Mokuba seemed to trail off in a daze, as if tired from lack of sleep. He probably hadn’t slept all night, the poor boy.

               “Oh, Mokuba,” Cassandra chided, “I’m glad you’re at home, but you sound so exhausted. I know it must have been hard for you to sleep. Can you do me a favor, though?”

               From the other side she heard a distant yawn; Mokuba had pulled the phone away from himself in an attempt to hide the fact that he was tired.

               “I’m okay. I see Seto stay up all the time, I’ll be alright. But I really don’t feel like… Doing anything…”

               …

               “Oh, uh, a nurse is here to check up on Seto. I’m gonna – I’m gonna go.”

               Before Cassandra was given the chance to respond, the boy hung up. That was not what she hoped the conversation would be. She figured Mokuba might be tired regardless of how much sleep he got, but “I see Seto stay up all the time” concerned her. “Staying up” generally meant being awake for ungodly amounts of time – pulling all-nighters. It also implied that he did it purposefully, rather than because he simply couldn’t. It became apparent to Cassandra that this might be Mokuba’s way of coping – acting like his big brother in his absence, trying to form some kind of control over the situation he was in. Or, worse yet, trying to be much too responsible for Seto at this age. No nine-year-old should have to experience their sibling going into a coma, much less try to assume the responsibility of caretaker. The thought was sweet, serving to solidify Mokuba’s innate kindness in Cassandra’s mind, but its implications were far more negative. She figured she’d call Roland in a few hours to see if she could pry any information from him, or possibly ask if there was anything she could do to help. The Kaibas could be a tight-knit little pair, only allowing help from one or two people at any given time, but the Kaiba responsible for this closed-off method no longer had a say in the situation, and if all went well, Roland might step in and give her reign.

              Time had apparently passed much more quickly than Cassandra thought. She hadn’t paid a lick of attention to anything going on around herself during that call, and had only noticed a man standing in front of her after she set the phone down. Just as before, the sudden realization that a person was on the other side of her sent a sudden shock down her spine.

              “Oh my – ! I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you standing there. Very,” She cleared her throat, if only to give herself a few extra milliseconds to think, “Very important call. Was there…”

              She looked at the man’s face a little more closely, identifying him as the man she had laid her eyes upon in the conference room earlier.

               She felt her gut sink. Her heart was beating louder than she could even think.

              “ … Something you needed?”

so yeah i hope u like :DDDDD