#yeah i know it's atrocious finding/reading fic on tumblr

[pillowfriends]

wheel of time drabble: september

Moiraine/Siuan, Moiraine & Lan & Siuan

Modern AU, 200 words

From prompt: "September started very badly"

-

September started very badly.

It was uncomfortably hot in Tar Valon. Siuan loved it. Moiraine and Lan glared at her and sweated irritably in front of the box fan.

Siuan’s father called. His disability payments were ending. After harried phone calls, budget spreadsheets, and frustrated tears, she took out another student loan.

The heat and start of term approaching made Lan sluggish, gloomy. He dragged himself out of bed at five am to run. Then five became six. Then seven. Then he stopped getting up until Moiraine threw an ice cube at him and dragged him to the pool.

Moiraine’s father called too. The family missed her – she hadn’t visited in so long – couldn’t she come back for the sponsor dinner her uncle was hosting next month, there were rumors. If you miss me, Moiraine said harshly, why do you only call when you need something? Then – I’ll visit if I can bring my girlfriend.

That killed the conversation fast. She cried for twenty minutes into Siuan’s hair.

Next week will be better, Siuan whispered into the night as Moiraine kissed her forehead, snuggled halfway in Lan’s lap. Part prayer, part demand, all fiery protectiveness and steadfast hope. It will.

[alex-wrestling]

Justice Found Its Way

Christian Cage & Nick Wayne (platonic)

Summary: Nick has to pick up his testosterone prescription, but Christian doesn’t know he’s trans until shit hits the fan.

Warnings: transphobia (deadnaming and using wrong pronouns specifically), light swearing, Christian being a Karen

A/N: first time uploading a full fic to tumblr! It’s also on my AO3 if you’d like to read it there. This was written for me but y’all can read it too. The title is from Misguided Son by Knocked Loose.

Christian hummed as he shined his new belt in the kitchen the Patriarchy shared, the light catching it at the perfect angle and directing a light beam directly into his eye, making him let out a “fuck!” He quickly wiped his eyes, deciding that his title was more than reflective enough. In the title’s sheen he could make out Nick’s reflection as the youngest member of their faction jogged down the stairs. “Christian?”

Christian turned to face him, seeing the young man clad in a white shirt and jeans. The older man sighed at the atrocious choice in clothing but otherwise didn’t make a sound.

“Can I borrow your car? I need to go pick something up and mom has the other one,” Nick said, nervously tapping his feet on the floor. “If not that’s fine, I can just get it tomorrow. You know what? Never mind.”

Nick turned around, leaving Christian in a state of confusion. “Nick?”

Nick turned around. “Yeah?”

“Come on, I’ll drive you. Where are we going?” Christian asked, grabbing his keys and walking toward the door, pausing to find the right one. He didn’t hear Nick’s footsteps following him. “Nick?”

Nick stepped forward, his head down. “It’s embarrassing,” Nick said.

Christian racked his brain for what could possibly be that embarrassing. Underwear? More of those stupid chains? Early birthday gift? Herpes medication? “Do you have herpes, Nick?”

“What?!”

“That’s the only reason you should be this embarrassed about something! You’re my son, I don’t care what you do!”

“I can’t tell you, alright? You’ll see me differently. I just want to be your son without any other labels attached, and if you see what I have to get you’ll judge me. You might kick me out.”

Nick went quiet, seemingly realizing what he had just revealed to his new father. Christian, on the other hand, had no idea what he was talking about. “‘Labels’? Are you gay? I was married to a man for years, why would I care? Come on, Nick, let’s just get going.”

Christian could hear Nick’s breath shudder. “It’s at the pharmacy,” he mumbled. “Just let me handle it.”

Christian hummed in agreement, but he didn’t like it. It wasn’t like Nick to be so secretive, especially to him. He told the older man everything, even how much he wanted to make him proud. To hear Nick talk about himself like that, to insinuate that Christian would leave because of something that was probably small, was out of character. It made him squirm in his seat as he pulled into the parking lot and pulled the keys out. “Come on, son.”

Nick smiled despite the obvious anxiety and followed him into the pharmacy. The teenager walked up to the counter and spoke with the older woman behind it, who couldn’t even hide her disdain at having to speak with him. After showing her an ID, she waved him off and he rejoined Christian by the door. “She’s getting it,” he said, although there was a small crack in his voice.

“Was she mean to you? Tell me what she said and I’ll get this whole place shut down. That’s no way to treat any child of mine.” Christian narrowed his eyes at Nick, but not out of malice. “What’s wrong?”

“She-”

“Anna Wayne!” The woman shouted, smirking at Nick as his eyes filled with tears.

“Anna?” Christian repeated in disbelief. “His name isn’t Anna!”

“Chri-”

“Are you her father?” The woman asked. “You must be ashamed of her.”

The secrecy. The refusal to change in their locker room. The baggy clothing. The joy when he called him son. It all made sense.

Nick was trans.

Christian saw red. “My son is named Nick, and he’s one of the brightest, happiest, hard working men I’ve ever met. I will not let some minimum wage hag say those things about him.” He stepped closer to her, seeing the confusion in her eyes.

“Your daughter will never be a real man anyway, no matter how much she tries to mutilate her body and take these stupid shots.” She held up Nick’s prescription and Christian swiped it out of her hands, making her draw her hand back in shock.

“My son is the light of my life and makes me proud every day. Can your parents say the same for you?” He leaned over the counter, making sure to get as close as he could to her without actually touching her. “Or are you the family disappointment? I think your parents talk about you behind your back and reminisce about what you could’ve been. You could’ve been the Prime Minister. You could’ve cured cancer. Instead, you’re rotting away behind a counter contributing nothing to society and draining the life out of everyone you come into contact with. Who are you to dictate what other people do? Are you that unhappy in your life that you have to take it out on an innocent man? And Nick is a man, regardless of what you seem to think. Are you a doctor? Are you a medical professional in any aspect?” She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “Of course not. You’d probably flunk the first semester of medical school because you’re a cold hearted bitch who has no critical thinking skills and no friends because you hate seeing people happy because you know it can’t happen for you.”

He turned around and walked over to the door, holding the white paper bag out to Nick, who took it slowly, as if he was in a trance. “You didn’t have to keep that from me, Nick.” Christian mumbled. “We’re family, and family don’t judge each other. Even if the person has herpes.”

Nick laughed through the tears that were now falling down his face. “Thanks,” he said. “Did you really mean that?”

“Mean what?”

“That you were proud of me? That I’m the light of your life?”

Christian nodded. “Of course I am. You’re my son.”

Find me on AO3 @/bubblesboo

[chronicallybloodless]

Heavy to Hold - Chapter 12

Cold Blood

Pairing: Astarion x enby!tav Status: in progress Rating: Explicit (18+ only) Genre: angst/comfort | slow burn Alternating second-person POV Contains spoilers for the whole game basically TW: it's an astarion fic: descriptions of trauma, abuse, sexual violence, etc. | smut | full tag list on AO3 Read from the beginning: AO3 | Tumblr Listen to the Playlist

You recalled what he had told you about spawn—that their master had the power to compel them to do anything. You hoped this was one of those cases. A terrible thought crossed your mind. Was what he told me true?

Read on AO3

Read on Tumblr ↓

Tav's POV

“Do you recall how I said I wasn’t accustomed to sleeping in the dirt?” Astarion asked as he swatted away a horsefly.

“Yeah?” You answered. He hadn’t been particularly keen on today’s adventure into the swamplands, and he wasn’t being quiet about his displeasure.

“This is worse. By far.” He stepped into a patch of mud with a wet squelch as it sunk around his boot. “Why do I still follow you around?”

“My winning personality?” He glared at you in response as he struggled to take another step. Wyll stopped to help him dislodge his foot, only for him to immediately get stuck again. Shadowheart stifled a chuckle as she watched him struggle.

“C’mon Astarion, it’s not so bad out here.” Wyll added in his usual optimistic tone. “Besides, we’re lucky Shadowheart picked up on the enchantment. At least we can see how gross it is rather than falling into it unwittingly.”

“Perhaps, but that does not change the fact that it is gross.” He scowled. “Gods I need a bath.”

“Speaking of needing a bath, do any of you smell that?” Shadowheart frowned and held her nose as an atrocious smell of metal and sweets wafted over you.

“Pardon me, travelers!” A voice called out from deeper into the forest. A man stepped out a moment later, bringing the stench with him. “Oh, forgive the smell—keeps monsters away. Can never be too careful in these parts.”

“A clever trick!” Wyll nodded approvingly. “Well met stranger, what brings you out into these woods?”

The smell of the man’s monster ward was starting to give you a headache. You were surprised that Astarion hadn’t commented on it. You turned towards him to see if he was suffering the same way you were, only to find him frozen in place, his eyes wide as he took in the stranger.

“Oh I’m on the hunt for a particular monster. Haven’t had much luck, so I’m seeking out the hag of these woods.” The man moved closer as he engaged Wyll.

“A hag?” Wyll cocked his head inquisitively. “Surely a hag is a worse monster than whatever you’re hunting, friend.”

“Normally I would agree with you,” The man sighed. “But this monster—a vampire spawn—stole a group of children from our clan some months ago. We’re hoping that if we can capture it alive, we could rescue them.”

You heard Shadowheart take a sharp inhale in, seemingly in pain. You turned to see what had happened to her. From the corner of your eye, you saw Astarion quietly unsheathe his knife.

“A vampire spawn?” Wyll questioned. “I thought vampires tended to prefer urban environments? Is there really one this far out?”

“Normally yes, but the head of our clan got word that this one, a particularly nasty piece of work that goes by the name Astarion, recently flew the proverbial coop and left the city.”

Gods no.

“Astarion?” Are you sure?” Shadowheart asked, her arms folded.

“Positive. A group of spawn attacked our camp at nightfall—they all called each other by name. While the others fought our warriors, the one they called Astarion snuck in and stole our children from their beds while they screamed. Some of the women who were nearby said they heard him laugh.” The man balled a fist. “It isn’t natural—vampires are monsters, but a coordinated attack like that isn’t their usual method. Our leader wants to know why.”

Your heart sank. Astarion had told you that there was a lot that you didn’t know, but you hadn’t expected it to include kidnapping children. You recalled what he had told you about spawn—that their master had the power to compel them to do anything. You hoped this was one of those cases.

A terrible thought crossed your mind.

Was what he told me true?

“But don’t spawn have to obey their master’s orders?” You questioned the man, hoping he would corroborate what Astarion had told you. Shadowheart raised an eyebrow at you. “Why go after the spawn and not the vampire himself?”

“Believe me, if we thought we could get our hands on the master we would.” The man frowned. “This spawn being away from the nest is our only shot at answers. That’s also why I have strict orders to capture, not kill.”

“Seems like it’s the spawn’s lucky day.” Wyll grimaced as he shot a glance at you.

“Indeed it is.” Before you realized what was happening, Astarion had moved past you and plunged his dagger into the man’s eye. The man fell backwards, but his screams were cut short as Astarion slit his throat.

Shadowheart and Wyll turned to look at you, their hands on their weapons. You gestured towards them to hold still.

Astarion was standing stock still with his back to you. You approached him cautiously, walking around him until you were face to face. He didn’t seem to notice you were there. Blood dripped slowly from his pale face, his expression frozen in a look of sheer terror. He blinked as he realized you were there.

“My apologies, Tav.” His voice didn’t convey any of the emotion you had just seen on his face. “I couldn’t bear to listen to any more of that Gur’s lies.”

“Are we, well, you know, safe?” Gale questioned.

The group had returned to camp after your encounter with the monster hunter and the hag. Astarion had gone out hunting shortly after, skipping dinner entirely. Wyll and Shadowheart took the opportunity to convey the day’s events to the others.

“What part of anything that has happened to us recently is safe?” Karlach responded.

“Easy for you to say—you’re too hot to bite.” Gale added. “It’s the rest of us that might wake up with teeth in our necks.”

“If that were going to happen, don’t you think it would have by now?” Shadowheart shot you a look as she spoke. It would seem that she finally figured out what you were spending your evenings doing.

“Tav was right about spawn having to obey their masters.” Wyll nodded sagely. “If that man was right and it was our Astarion, he may not have had a choice in the matter.”

“Well given that the man is now dead because Astarion killed him, I think we can assume that it was our Astarion.” Lae’zel grumbled.

You were sitting there in a daze. Given everyone’s shock, you had apparently done a good job of keeping Astarion’s secret from them.

Now you wondered whether that was the right thing to do.

You wanted to talk to him about it, to get his side of the story, to hear his explanation of why he killed a man in cold blood and then proceeded through the rest of the day as if it hadn’t happened. You wanted to ask him why he had looked so completely terrified.

But you were stuck here having dinner with a group of people who were deciding whether they wanted to introduce him to the pointy end of a stake.

“Tav?” Shadowheart waved a hand in front of you. You must have been lost in your own thoughts.

“Yes?”

“I said, what do you think we should do?”

“About?”

“About Astarion.” She frowned.

“Well….the man’s story was horrible.” They were all looking at you, various expressions of anger and skepticism on their faces. “I mean….kidnapping children? And laughing about it? I can understand why they would want to try to find him.”

You paused, trying to consider your words carefully. You could tell them Astarion seemed to be acting out of fear and encourage them to try to see it from his perspective, but you weren’t sure he would want you to tell them everything he had told you. You weren’t even sure if everything he had told you was true.

Perhaps he had spun you a web for just such an occasion as this, twisting you around his finger so that you would defend him. Would he be as quick to kill you if he felt he needed to?

You recalled all the nights you had spent together and the way he had held you. The thought that it could have all been fake made your stomach twist in knots.

“I don’t think he did any of it by choice.” Your voice was quiet as you spoke.

“I think we can all agree that we have things in our past that we would rather not talk about.” Shadowheart added, noticing your discomfort. “And I think we can also agree that if anyone showed up looking to capture any of us, we wouldn’t stand for it.”

“Hells, we already did that once.” Karlach nodded appreciatively at Wyll.

“Precisely.” Gale added. “So, the more important question is whether Astarion is a danger to us now, not whether he may have been in the past.”

“I think that’s a question we have to ask him.” You stood and walked towards the woods. The others started to follow you, but Shadowheart shook her head at them.

You needed to do this alone.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Piper Sargasso

Piper Sargasso has 25 stories at Gossamer, but don’t miss her website where the fics each have cover collage art. If you are a fan of Mulder/Scully romance, there are a lot of MSR fics to read that are set in different seasons of the show. But like the show that never stuck to one type of story, Piper’s stories have variety, so you can also find AUs and /Other.  Big thanks to Piper for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does, but I love that people are still into it! Writers back in the day put so much work and love into their writing, and it's nice to know that the stories are still being appreciated to this day. As for my own stories, it puts a huge smile on my face to know there are still people out there checking them out and hopefully enjoying them.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was such a positive period of my life. I made some amazing friends who became something like older sisters (and some brothers) to me, even though I was a little ridiculous when I was in my early to mid-twenties. It was also a much-needed confidence booster. I was a pretty shy person and loved writing, but never had the nerve to show anything to anyone. My first fanfic was completely horrible, but because of it I made my first XF friend and super beta, Mimic117. Between her guidance and the encouraging words from my Yahoo group I was able to do something I really loved and felt great about myself and my abilities for the first time. That will stay with me forever. That first story was truly atrocious, but it was a catalyst for great things in my life when I needed them the most.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I remember trying this cool new thing called an AOL chat room, but they were more interested in perving on each other than talking about the show. Once I knew about fanfiction I kept seeing that some of my favorite authors kept mentioning IWTBXF in their notes, a Yahoo group named I Want to Believe. I looked it up, joined, and with great trepidation made my introductory post. Everyone was so warm and welcoming, and talking to my favorite authors in the group was a little like meeting a celebrity and finding out that they're awesome in real life. After IWTBXF fell apart, an off-shoot called Beyond the Sea was created with almost all of the original group transferring over. I stuck to my little family there and didn't branch out into much else, other than the rare dip into Haven. Ephemeral and Gossamer, of course.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Mostly the overwhelming feeling of acceptance and confidence to write, something I was sorely lacking before in my life. I fell in with the best group, that's for sure! They made me feel like being a professional writer could be an achievable goal.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

The commercial advertising. The pilot spoke to my supernatural-loving, angsty 15 year-old soul. I watched it religiously every week. There was nothing like it. It was off-beat, but serious (most of the time) and fulfilled my insatiable craving for the paranormal and weird. You just couldn't get that from Melrose Place and Beavis and Butthead, you know? It definitely helped that David Duchovny was adorable and the character of Scully was the strong and intelligent icon we needed in the 90's and beyond.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

In high school I had a friend who was as obsessed with the show as I was. Maybe more, since she once had a slumber party that was exclusively to binge watch her taped episodes (the other girls who wanted to mess around with spells and the Ouija board weren't thrilled that she couldn't be swayed away from it) and she often drove me from play rehearsals in her convertible with the top down and the theme song blasting to the heavens, much to my delight and mortification. A couple years after we graduated she told me about the piece of fanfic she wrote. Insert a record screech here. What?! You mean there are thousands of stories dedicated to my favorite show? And hundreds more get added every month?! I was obsessed. If I could've stopped working and slept at my computer desk I would have.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Sadly it's nonexistent these days. I have great memories and it holds a big piece of my heart, but I haven't been active in a long time. I would love to see a huge revival, and would definitely want to be involved in that in some way, were it to happen.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I read a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction for a while, but I never could expend the kind of energy and time I did for the X-Files fandom. It came at a perfect time in my life, and so far nothing else has measured up to it.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Besides XF characters? Off the top of my head I really love Hermione Granger, Buffy Summers, Elizabeth Bennet, and Claire Fraser for their sass and strength of character, Severus Snape for his complexity, and Christina Ricci's version of Wednesday Addams for her pure awesomeness. She's pretty much my spirit animal.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I do occasionally. I watched the series from season 1-7 so many times that I started to burn out, but I get on my X-Files kicks sometimes and binge it again.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

Like with the show, I'll get nostalgic and need to consume all the fanfics my greedy little eyes can behold until I move on to something else. It can feel a little lonely though, if you'll excuse the drama. We're not in the heyday anymore, so it feels a little like walking through a ghost town. Many of the stories out there are suspended in time because the show ended, or people stopped writing.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I know I have dozens, but I'm drawing a blank. My ultimate favorite is any well-written MSR casefile with UST finally resulting in RST. Those are my unicorns!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I have a silly one called Baby, It's Cold Outside that I sometimes read around Christmastime. It was a fluffy song-fic, but I can see the scene so clearly in my mind when I read it and it's just pure fun. I also like my Donnie Pfaster series. I can see the potential in my writing with those, which makes me feel I could really write something special someday. Plus, he's such an interesting little slimeball to write and read about. Bless his heart.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I still think about the two WIPs I haven't finished. I wrote myself into a corner with This Mortal Coil, and honestly I think it needs a total overhaul. I think Dana Scully's Diary would be a fun one to finish. I hate that I never finished them.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I think about writing fanfic now and then and I've had a couple original novels sketched out, but there are so many other demands on my time that I haven't gotten very far. I still plan to see the novels through, even if no one but interested friends and family read them.  

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I used to watch an episode and really study the actors' expressions and actions, always trying to find new angles to the stories we all know. A lot of times things would just come to me and I'd get so excited I couldn't sleep until I wrote a good chunk of it down.

What's the story behind your pen name?

The friend who introduced me to fanfic told me the best way to choose a pen name was to make sure it derives from the show. For a couple days I looked at the titles and summaries of episodes and agonized over just the right name. Finally Piper Maru and the summary from Triangle, which mentions the Sargasso sea, stood out and just clicked.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My now husband always knew, and he thought it was cool that I had a hobby that made me so happy, but he was never a reader. My parents found out when I was about 24 and my step-dad would tell EVERYONE about it, much to my horror. Most reactions were of the bland, "Oh yeah? That's nice." variety but I definitely got some weird looks from others. The worst was when I found out how much of my racier MSR stories my parents read. My step-dad thought it was hilarious and teased me a little. My usually open-minded mom was uncomfortable, but tried to be supportive. It's all fun and games until your daughter starts writing psuedo-erotica for anyone to see!

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Circe Invidiosa very generously hosts a page for me at http://pipers.invidiosa.com.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 26, 2021)

[trilies]

an argument for AO3

So I’m in a conversation with someone who is kind of in the “against AO3″ camp, and they asked me a couple of questions. Namely, who wouldn’t be uncomfortable with pedophilia? Isn’t it sketchy that a beta website is asking for so much money despite reaching its goals?

And my answer became so long... I figured it might as well become its own post. Please bear in mind that this is cut from a whole conversation.

But here it is.

------

No. It doesn't seem sketchy to me at all. Why would it? I know we make jokes about how much money tumblr has cost the various sites which purchase it like Yahoo, but there's some truth there: it's really expensive to host a website to thousands and thousands of people. It's why we see so many tumblr owners trying to shoehorn in ads or make people buy services, or why Photobucket tried to pull that truly atrocious bullshit a year or two back. Without image hosting capabilities (tumblr and photobucket's big thing), the strain isn't as huge.... but AO3 is MASSIVE. It is hosting literally thousands of accounts, millions of stories. That's massive on a server scale alone, ignoring all the other work they do. Yeah, it's in beta... but that's because it's trying to reach a goal of being as good a fanfic archive as they can be, and they don't believe they've reached that goal yet. Being in beta means they can better listen to their uses on shit like tagging systems and make those changes. Not to mention, again, they are INCREDIBLY transparent. If you are worried about where the money is going, you can go on the site and they have all their stuff up there.

As for the pedophilia subject matter.... Please give me a moment. because there's honestly a lot to say on that particular issue, if nothing else. This will take a while, so if you see this and there hasn't been a reply yet.... I'm still typing lmao.

To start with, of course people are uncomfortable about pedophilia. However, there are a lot of problems with how pedophilia is viewed or *used* as an accusation in the current fandom climate.

For example, in honestly EXTREMELY recent times, I was told I was "defending" pedophilia because I disagreed that a character (an immortal food gijinka) was "minor-coded" or "designed as an underage teenager". (As a note, an argument for this view was that the character's breasts were too small.) When I pointed out, hey, that's kind of a fucked up accusation to throw at a complete stranger, especially as I am a CSA survivor, I was told "You have to be lying about that, then, because a real CSA survivor would understand."

c o o l

That's just my personal experience that happened within a couple of months. Other people have talked about running into people who think that a character turning 18 means they're a pedophile for still dating a 17 year old. Or running into people who think a 40 year old dating someone in their 30s is pedophilic. Or believe that even SHIPPING characters who were not yet 18 was pedophilic if you yourself were over 18.

(Of course, you also have the kinds of people who try to use Moral Purity as a way to bash ships they don't like. I once saw someone try to claim that a popular mlm ship, A/B, was pedophilic because one half of the equation looked young.... when some other artists drew him... Of course, on the side, this person liked to also get angry that *their* favorite ship, a dude/chick ship composing of A/C, wasn't more popular. So. You know.)

So that's one half of the problem: the word "pedophile" being so warped that a lot of people now have no idea if the person using it has a genuine concern or if the accuser is trying to smear someone who doesn't ship the same thing. FFnet and Tumblr have gone with the "burn it all down" approach, which hasn't actually helped anyone and is, to boot, sloppily moderated. So we know from history, from experience in cases like mine, that it doesn't help in that area.

The other half of the problem is... How far is too far?

This is where "anti" culture begins to find similarities with the whole Warriors for Innocence thing. If you completely and blindly block an entire tag, or anyone associated with it, you have to ask: who are you hurting? Warriors for Innocence hurt actual rape victim, and queer folk, and a whole lot of others. Far as I can tell, anti culture is on the route to the same thing, because I have yet to see appropriate answers to a lot of issues.

If one says "anything with underage sex in it is bad and should be banned", what about fics that tackle it in a serious manner? The young adult novel "Speak" deals with rape of an underage girl and how she works through that mental trauma; are fics with stories equivalent to that allowed? Do fics with underage sex have to focus purely on how it is Horrible And Bad to be allowed? Does only a chapter have to be allowed? A paragraph? An author's note? A tag? Or are we allowed to never explore dark subject matter?

Is fic with underage content in it only horrible if it's someone over the age of eighteen who writes it? Can a teenager write smut (terribly written as it may likely be) between teenage characters? Can a teenager write smut between a teenage character and an adult character? For the record, i did in fact, over the summer, run into someone who said that teens/minors "shouldn't even know about NSFW", which is asinine to me, because Abstinence Only is a terrible thing to put in schools, and somehow worse in a way when you try to put that into effect in fandom. If the answer is 'yes', what are you going to do, demand to see people's birth certificates in fandom?

(As a note, I think this is a terrible message to put into fandom for teenagers because I believe it will inevitably lead to self hatred and a warped view of sex. If you make the extremely simplified black-and-white statement of "teens and sex should never go together ever in any way", that's going to mess up teens who are starting to experience arousal in their bodies. The message, whether intended or not, ends up as "NSFW things are bad, which means my brain which thought NSFW thoughts is bad, and my brain thought those thoughts because my body had these feelings". )

(This is bad for any average teenager. This will be especially worse to CSA and rape victims, along with queer youth who, in a lot of places, are still struggling with their bodies and/or feelings because the world is still pretty damn queerphobic.)

Speaking of CSA and rape victims, what about those of them who write/read underage ships or dark content as a way to cope with what happened or Just Because? That's a thing lots of us do, especially those of us who don't look like the Perfect Victims people can use as an excuse for whatever crusade they're waging. I've heard anti types go "Well, it's an unhealthy way to cope" or claims that CSA/rape victims who write such dark content are "just as bad as their abusers"... But are they psychiatrists/therapists? Are they the psychiatrists/therapists of *those specific people*? Will you moderate this kind of content by forcefully interrogating CSA/rape victims to out their trauma to a complete stranger? Will you demand to speak to their therapists? Over fanfic?

When I was a teenager, I wrote all sorts of stuff. I wrote dark dub-con fic, because I liked to explore those dark feelings in the process and the aftermath separate from myself. I wrote a fic with a fairly young teenage girl (what age was kh2 kairi? who even knows, I sure didn't) falling for a MUCH older man built like a brick shit house so that there was never any doubt to him being an adult, even giving him her first kiss, because they were my favorite characters, I wanted both of them to have a moment of happiness (that i promptly ruined but hey), and, *in this fic*, I knew it would be alright. I knew the girl would always be in control, she'd be the one making moves, that the guy was nonthreatening and kind and protect her and work alongside her.

(and then I began the process of killing him off in the next paragraph through him saving her life, but, like. Drama (tm), baby)

This was all good for me. At an age where I was young, vulnerable, and figuring out weird shit like arousal and romantic feelings, it was *invaluable* to have a space where I could explore all of that while relatively safe from actual danger, even if the stuff I wanted to explore was a little messed up. This whole thing against AO3 wouldn't have helped me, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping a lot of other people too.

There is an issue with underage people and sex stuff- not just in fandom but in culture at large. We have Hollywood dressing up young girl actresses in super slinky or revealing clothes. We have schools saying girls basically should never wear shorts, and capitalism fucking this up further by only selling SUPER SHORT shorters. We have media of all sorts giving us adults, whether in real actors or character design, in the roles of young people. (See: "how do you do, fellow kids") We should probably take more care about fandom spaces, so that people of all ages don't feel pressured to engage in sexual shit they're not 100% game for or into, or just have it shoved into their faces without consent. It's a complex issue... and it's not stuff that can just be 'banned' and have that fix it.

AO3 has on its plate a very complex problem that will, if we're all honest, never have a perfect answer. It has given us the best that can possibly be asked for. It obeys the law by not having actual child pornography on it (aka visual proof of actual real children, defined by us law as such), which is closest to "objective" we can get at the current stage in humanity and state of fandom. It has a very comprehensive and moderated tag system, so that people can post warnings along their fic so that people don't stumble onto shit they don't need to, and so that people can moderate their own reading experience to some degree.

If some people aren't comfortable with AO3, that's fine. However, most of us are getting annoyed not with those people, but with the people who just blindly say "AO3 supports child porn and is probably stealing money" (statement simplified for the purpose of this post). It shows an ignorance of the fandom history that lead us here, no understanding in either AO3's practices or how expensive it is to run a site, and no consideration for how complex this problem can really be. It would be great if this was a black and white issue, if there was an easy answer as just "banning" certain kinds of content... but there isn't. And that's where I am.

[lady-plantagenet]

Writing Meme

Thank you darlings @feuillesmortes @louisxivsrestingbitchface for tagging me in this. Since I wrote so few fics (despite how lengthy they are), I wanted to wait until the Ficathon reveal so I could gush about my only other written work XD.

Name: Lady_Plantagenet on AO3 (same as my tumblr but with an underscore). It used to be Defiantly_Definitely or something, I don’t know what the reasoning behind that was. Naturally, definitely was spelled wrong so I got locked out of the account at one point XD. As for my current name, well, it’s this username I use for all my internet entities which I concocted when I was 13 and haven’t changed since. I like it, it’s pretty iconic.

Fandoms: Currently 15th Century CE RPF/Richard III/The White Queen e.t.c. I tag them all for exposure reasons but the only two canons I can be said to follow are Shakespeare’s Richard III and 15th Century CR RPF. At one point (and buried deep down in my displayed is an ASOIAF/GOT fic but I wouldn’t call myself a writer for that fandom since 6 years. It was kinda a phase. Although, I do occasionally read fics from that fandom.

Where you post: Only on ao3 atm, although until this summer I used to cross post on fanfiction but when I noticed no one there is really interested kinda gave up. On fanfiction.net I have a different username which I won’t tell anyone because it’s an account full of terrible Tudors/TWOTR fics, which I wrote when I was about 12 and the writing and everything is so atrocious I even got flamed for it XD.

I’ll give you guys an excerpt though so you can laugh:

This was my 12 year old’s self attempt at a Cecily of York fic. There’s three others: one AU about Elizabeth Woodville surviving into HVIII’s reign and (oddly enough) a story also about Isabel Neville which is equally horrendous.

Most Popular One-shot: I don’t write one-shots. However, I guess the ‘Acts’ I wrote for These Giddy Hatchings (the George of Clarence AU I was commissioned to write for the Ficathon) constitute as one-shots (though I made them more that way to not get disqualified for submitting incomplete work for the Ficathon). Act 1 is, therefore? the most popular oneshot by one kudos. It is the first part of this AU series following the Richard III Shakespearean canon. It centers around what would have happened if George Duke of Clarence survived his murder, got pardoned and got a chance to go up against his younger brother. Since it’s the first part, it ends at George getting released from the Tower (thanks to his wife hhh god the joys of AUs and the freedom you get XD).

Most Popular Multichap: This is by far ‘A Bygone Era’. Nothing that I’ve ever written had ever gotten as many reviews and subscriptions. It’s my only serious piece of work (These Giddy Hatchings excepted), and it’s the one I go on about a lot (you know instead of actually updating hhh). For those who don’t already know (and for those who do, I apologise for repeating this info), it started out as a story about Isabel Neville and her only - it was only meant to be like 10 chapters or something. It all changed when during my research I uncovered this really interesting fact about Isabel and before I knew it, I realised I had a real-length story on my hands.

After perusing the range of published historical fiction, I realised no one had really done George Duke of Clarence, Richard Earl of Warwick (The Last of the Barons aside) and Anne Beauchamp Countess of Warwick any justice either, so as it turned out... Isabel wasn’t the only figure about whom no one had really written. So the story kind of became more centered around Isabel, George and Warwick (heavily featuring the two other Annes as well). The story also focuses on some of the (criminally underrepresented) issues of late medieval society eg the collapsing system of feudalism, bastard feudalism, the northern renaissance, the printing press, the wane of chivalry among others... I also shift POV around a lot so sometimes I write through the eyes of people who aren’t the main characters eg Cecily Neville. What else can I say? Please read it if you’re ever bored I thrive off reviews good or bad.

Favourite story you’ve written so far: This would actually be These Giddy Hatchings. A Bygone Era is far more dear to me, but, with the quality being a bit dodgier in the first chapters (since it’s been a year and I had barely started writing again after a very long time back then and had yet to learn the history in more detail), These Giddy Hatchings is technically speaking my favourite because the quality (whatever that is) is on an average better. This one I’m less ashamed of advertising. Please please read it, I’ll provide a link in the reblog. Unlike A Bygone Era, the focus is more on plot and themes than actual historical accuracy. Though of course, I did my best to imbed historical references in there (together with the Shakespearean ones). I also went a bit wild with the prose there, taking the fact that it’s written for Shakespeare-Richard III as an excuse XD. This piece just like the other does not aim to make my historical faves (George, Isabel and Warwick) into saints, just to make that clear. Although I admit the want of a more favourable portrayal of them when it comes to historical fiction does possibly affect the way I see these figures and interpret the source material. So yeah, does George kill the princes in the tower? Does he become the next king? Does he even manage to defeat his brother Richard? Read to find out XD.

Fic you were nervous to post: I was nervous about These Giddy Hatchings because it was a commission for someone (@malvoliowithin 🤍) I didn’t know at all and I was lowkey worried they wouldn’t be interested enough to read a 15K (and counting) word story about a prompt they were probably not that invested in XD. But now the anxiety is gone 😁 thanks to their kind words).

Otherwise, I’m generally worried everytime I update because though I don’t think very highly of my work, I’m scared of ruining something decent with a bad update haha. Not to mention I don’t want to put my reviewers in an awkward position because I know they’re too kind to say if they hate something haha.

How do you choose your titles: ‘A Bygone Era’, as a tile, I’m very proud of. If I may say so I’m more sure of this title than even other features of the story itself XD. After I decided I wanted to write a story about Isabel Neville, it took about 5 min for this title to enter my mind. It was inspired by my perception of the late 15th century England as a period that marked the end of the Medieval Ages on an aesthetic, cultural and political level. I was always struck by how Isabel (and George) lived and died in this small epoch (1450s - late 1470s) that was characterised by the wane of the chivalric age, the fact that heaviness and death hung in the conscious (something which many writers including Huizinga talk about). I wanted something which conveyed nostalgia and the idea of a story beggining at the end of something much larger than the story itself, ergo here we are.

‘These Giddy Hatchings’ was much more easy to come up with. It’s a line from Clarence’s monologue in Richard III. Since the prompt was about the two brothers butting heads, I thought it was a good idea to title this fic after what was supposed to symbolise the shallow, misleading base that forms the two’s brotherhood in said monologue. As in Clarence’s dream, Richard pushes him off the ‘Giddy Hatchings’ and into the sea (as is apparent to the audience but George in his dream thinks it’s by accident). I titled each oneshot ‘Act #’ to mimick the play’s format.

Do you outline: I tried outlining for A Bygone Era to estimate how long it will be (spoiler alert I expect about 25 chapters total). But since I keep finding new information, the story keeps getting thrown and so I just keep a list of plot ideas and turns of phrases that randomly enter my mind without my permission. I now only outline each new chapter at a time, plot-wise and copy and paste the applicable details from the random idea list and then see what happens XD.

The same goes for Giddy Hatchings, sort of. I initially planned for only three ‘Acts’ but it turned out to be four (one I am yet to write), but when I was randomly thinking about it yesterday I realised it might turn into 5 Acts XD.

Complete: Nothing is complete. Though I suppose the Acts from These Giddy Hatchings count as three completed one-shots.

In progress: Everything lmao. Though not that one ASOIAF fic, I’m certain I’ll never return to it. I don’t even know why I still keep it around.

Coming soon/not yet started: I have written like half a chapter for this AU I haven’t yet technically speaking started. The premises is: What if Elizabeth Woodville was the daughter of Jacquetta and John Duke of Bedford. In this story she still meets and falls in love with Edward IV, still has Warwick as her enemy, among other things. Her mother still marries Richard Woodville and uses Elizabeth’s inheritance to pay off the marriage fine so the girl is no wealthy heiress but still becomes Margaret of Anjou’s lady-in-waiting. It’s such a wild AU and I have so many ideas for it, but I would like to advance a bit more in my other stuff first so I don’t lose steam. There’s an excerpt here:

Otherwise, I dream of one day writing some funnier oneshots on ModernAUs, wild AUs, wild crackships, parodies and others. Of course all still centred around the 15th century. I’ll title this series ‘The Rose of Ruin, The Duke of Claret, The White Bore and other tales’.

Prompts?: Sure, I enjoy this type of stuff. Though of course I cannot make any promises. I prefer making up the prompts XD. Can’t wait until the next Ficathon though!

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I suppose the Elizabeth Woodville AU is the nearest thing that can be called an ‘upcoming work’ but it’s quite far into the future. At the moment I’m looking forward to updating my two other works (the next update being for A Bygone Era).

Oh god did I blab! Thank your for indulging me you two <4. Tagging: @malvoliowithin (my prompter), @seethemflying (the lovely fulfiller of my Ficathon prompt), @richardgloucesters @nuingiliath @branloaf @kafkastan @shredsandpatches @allegoriesinmediasres @unheroyouracademia

[yohanes-magic-circle]

Digital Disguise: Chapter 5

(Impatient? Don’t like reading fics on Tumblr? The whole thing is up on AO3 now. I hope you enjoy it!)

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

Normally, Yoshiko fell asleep pretty quickly after finishing up her stream, but tonight she couldn’t drift off. She could hear dogs restlessly barking outside, not that that would have kept her from sleeping. It was too hot for that, and the poor pups were evidently as irritated by the weather as she was. Even the fan in her room was barely helping. What’s more, she was still wrapped up in the mystery of her unidentifiable viewer. They never seemed to reveal anything about themselves, but did know instinctively what Yoshiko wanted and they seemed to have a genuine interest in Yohane’s world. And then there was thing they said about standing shoulder to shoulder with her in danger…

There was no hope of getting an answer, and she didn’t want to think about it any more, so she took her phone off charge and opened up Twitter. Yoshiko’s feed moved pretty quickly, as she had a lot of things to follow – idol news sites, Yohane fans, gaming feeds and of course her friends from Uranohoshi. The app had flipped back to Top Tweets again, annoyingly, but she couldn’t be bothered to set it back and just idly scrolled down the list. She saw all the usual stuff – a classic A-RISE video, some cute Pokémon art, Chika’s silly photos of Shiitake, the latest offers from Gamers.

Then, something caught Yoshiko’s eye. “I’m watching Yohane Time! Watch live here,” read Hanamaru’s tweet. It was the kind of automatically generated thing some account-linking things did, so the tweet itself wasn’t interesting, but she was surprised that Hanamaru had been watching her stream. In fact, Yoshiko had almost forgotten that she’d even set up an account for her friend – she never really saw her tweet much, and she didn’t seem that interested in using the computer beyond their initial session ages ago. Out of curiosity, she visited Hanamaru’s profile to see if she had bothered to use it at all.

“I’m watching Yohane Time! Watch live here” “I’m watching Yohane Time! Watch live here” “I’m watching Yohane Time! Watch live here” “I’m watching Yohane Time! Watch live here” “I’m watching Yohane Time! Watch live here”

Yoshiko couldn’t believe her eyes. Nothing but auto-tweets, stretching back for quite a few weeks of shows. Hanamaru hadn’t said a thing about watching them. Why would Hanamaru even link an account to Twitter in the first place? Still slightly sluggish due to her tired state, Yoshiko tried to put everything together.

These tweets started a little while after Hanamaru got her PC. Anyone can watch, even without an account. But Hanamaru had an account. What do you need an account to do? A crashing realisation hit Yoshiko. You need an account to chat.

There were always new names popping in and out of the stream chat, but the only consistent new user of note recently was… Musashino. Could it be that Musashino had secretly been her oldest friend all along? It’d make sense. She knew unusual words, and she seemed to have an uncanny knack for knowing Yoshiko’s likes and dislikes. Even the slow replies could suddenly be explained – Hanamaru’s typing speed was atrocious because she hadn’t grown up using keyboards (in fact, Yoshiko couldn’t help laughing when she started typing with just the index finger of each hand). Yoshiko decided that it was time to press Google into service as a detective. She searched “Musashino Hanamaru Kunikida” and hoped for the best.

She saw loads of results, nothing to do with her friend, but lots about a book – Musashino, by Doppo Kunikida. Yoshiko clicked an encyclopedia link. It was apparently a work of classic Japanese literature, a book of short stories about people who fall behind the times. That settled it. A name like that was just too perfect. The family name, an old book, self-deprecating humour? That couldn’t be the work of anybody but Zuramaru. But that only raised more questions. Hanamaru was always the first to shut Yoshiko down when Yohane came out at school, but Musashino was a regular viewer of Yohane Time and was super excited by Yohane’s tales of conflict between the divine and the demonic. Could they really be one and the same – and if they were, why hadn’t Hanamaru told Yoshiko about the fact that she was watching?

On the other hand… It was nice to have that sort of attention. Musashino had made her feel so happy over the last few weeks, and she’d wanted to know more – she’d even wondered if she could meet this person, before dismissing the idea as unsafe. The concept that it might have been Hanamaru all along was… quite intriguing. Even considering the possibility that Musashino wasn’t just an oddly perceptive stranger and was in fact a long-term friend, Yoshiko was amazed by how much Hanamaru seemed to know about her. Few people would catch on to her little preferences like hot food, although on further consideration it wouldn’t be surprising for Hanamaru to fixate on food. And Yoshiko couldn’t help but keep coming back to that one thing about how Musashino would stand against adversity with her. Hanamaru would definitely do that, wouldn’t she? That much was obvious with how protective she was over Ruby – but she was never secretive over her friendship with Ruby. She didn’t tease Ruby even half as much, either. Hanamaru was definitely close to both of them, but it was a different kind of closeness in each case. Could it be that, actually, Hanamaru…?

Yoshiko didn’t dare finish that thought, because… Oh. Yoshiko felt her heart fluttering. She knew what her luck was like – to even think about it might break the spell, and she didn’t want that because she  wanted  Hanamaru to be that interested in her. In that moment, it dawned on Yoshiko that she had something of a crush on Hanamaru.

Still a bit delirious from her lack of sleep, but newly energised by this exciting possibility, Yoshiko acted on impulse. She got out of bed with a start and sat down at her computer. If Zuramaru liked her live streams, she thought, then she wouldn’t be able to resist a show where it was just the two of them. That would definitely be the best way to approach things. She opened up her email and began to type an invitation.

“Little demon, you have been summoned! Stand before Yohane –”

Yoshiko immediately deleted that garbage. If she was going to be able to explore these feelings with Hanamaru, she should do it properly.

“Hanamaru-chan, I want to talk with you. I’ll make a video call–”

Wait a second, thought Yoshiko. Hanamaru, if it even was her, was tuning in for Yohane Time rather than Yoshiko Time. What if that was the appeal? She started typing another, slightly less grandiose (but unmistakably chuuni) invitation and trashed it almost instantly. Half a dozen attempts followed, each slightly less brilliant than the last. Whether it was the heat, her tiredness or the sudden pressure of the situation, she couldn’t find the words. If only she had Hanamaru’s vocabulary. Yoshiko glanced at the clock. 3:24am. She was already going to be an absolute mess at school tomorrow, if she even managed to wake up at all. She had to get this done  now . Yoshiko hastily bashed out an invitation email and sent it, reasoning that at this point any thinking was overthinking. She then climbed back into bed and finally managed to achieve slumber.

18 hours later, Yoshiko was back in her room, drinking coffee. She was utterly exhausted from the night before, and practice had been a nightmare. As a result, she’d made sure to set up her streaming backdrop extra early – she’d ultimately decided that Yohane was the right persona with which to approach the situation. But really, the coffee was an insurance policy more than anything – Yoshiko was wired, barely able to contain her excitement for her one on one chat with Hanamaru. She ran over scenarios in her head, trying to keep herself calm enough that she didn’t trip over her words when she finally spoke them aloud.

10:00pm arrived. Yoshiko stood prepared, ready to see the other name pop up in chat. A couple of minutes passed. No big deal – Musashino hadn’t always been instantly on time, probably because Hanamaru still wasn’t great with computers. A few more minutes passed. Where might she be? At 10:10pm, Yoshiko sat down on her bed and checked her phone. No reply to the email. Her only message was from You, who’d shared a boating picture in the Aqours group chat. No sign of Hanamaru…

Yoshiko awoke in a daze, still sitting on her bed. She glanced over at the candles she’d lit for the show, and they were close to burning out. How long had she been asleep? Her phone told her it was 1:15am. She got up and looked at her stream chat.

Nobody had entered. Why hadn’t Hanamaru entered?

Something that felt like a tornado of emotions immediately hit Yoshiko. She’d built herself up and got so excited, and for what? Hanamaru didn’t show up. Maybe she was busy? Maybe she’d been wrong about Hanamaru being Musashino? No, she thought. It couldn’t something so mundane. In her fatigued state, Yoshiko was in no position to resist the wave of negativity washing over her. She’d probably been ignored. Maybe Hanamaru had even been watching her streams just to make fun of Yohane some more. Yeah, it was probably all some elaborate joke at her expense. Why had she been so stupid as to let herself believe that someone would actually like her for all that middle school nonsense? How could she have been so naive?

She didn’t know and she didn’t have the energy to think about it any longer. Yoshiko crumpled back onto her bed and buried her head into her pillow, quietly sobbing herself back to sleep.