#yeah don’t mind me i just got sucked back into tik tok this week and i’m emo

[itubainaretro]

oh no, don’t mind me, i’m just out here thinking about a parallel universe in which robbe is a tik toker and sander is his best friend that always appears on his tik toks because he’s an angel like that and can’t ever say no to robbe so he always goes along with whatever robbe wants them to do 

and the thing is: robbe’s had a crush on sander since forever but he doesn’t know how to tell him so one day he decides to go to hell with it and film the electric love challenge when they’re chilling in sander’s room and altough sander’s always on robbe’s tik toks he doesn’t have one so he has no idea what the challenge is so when robbe presses play and the song starts playing sander goes along with it, bopping his head to the song, lip syncing it because he knows the lyrics, practically serenading robbe, making him smile dumbly at him even though he’s a nervous wreck because he’s about to kiss his best friend and he’s afraid this will ruin everything, but he musters up enough courage and as soon as the song goes “and all i need is to be struck by your electric love” robbe comes closer and kisses sander and sander pulls back because he’s surprised and robbe wants to die because this is it, this is where their friendship ends and he’s already thinking about how he’ll apologise when he looks up and sander’s smilling, his eyes going from robbe’s eyes to his mouth, up and down countless times, and he thinks he’s never seen sander look at him like that and he doesn’t know what’s going on but then suddenly sander’s hand is coming up to his cheek, angling his face up, closer, cradling his face like he’s something precious, and he kisses robbe again and robbe feels like he’s in heaven and maybe he’s about to pass out and this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he wants to wrap himself up in this feeling, in sander, in how much love he feels for this boy right here and the feeling is obviously mutual because sander can’t let go of him once their lips finally touch again, moving his hand to the back of robbe’s head, playing with the hair there, then touching his neck, smiling into the kiss, softly biting his lip before pulling back and resting his forehead against robbe’s once they’re too out of breath to keep properly kissing

they only remember the tik tok they were filiming some time later, when they’re laying in bed, side by side, trying to get their lungs back to functioning properly after spending way too much time making out after they confessed their feelings to each other and became official boyfriends, and robbe’s phone vibrates against sander’s thigh, where it ended up with how much they moved around on his bed, and he hands it to robbe and robbe smiles at it, seeing the video playing on an endless loop on the screen and asks him if he should post it or not. sander says he has no problem with robbe doing so and if he feels like it he might as well post it. robbe doesn’t have that many followers so he presses the button, posts it, checks his messages, locks his phone and goes back to laying down with sander, accepting cuddles and kisses and settling in for the night

the video blows up, of course it does, and he gains thousands of followers after that, robbe and sander becoming everyone’s favourite tik tok couple, even though robbe’s the only one with an actual account

they make the most out of it and film the most ridiculous tik toks, just to indulge everyone and each other, incluinding one where robbe tries to teach sander how to skate and another one where they try to get on robbe’s skate jumping together, falling down countless times before they finally succeed and land on it perfectly; one of robbe on his way to annoy sander while the first notes of where is the love? by the black eyed peas plays and he goes jumping around to the beat of the song; one where robbe calls sander bro just to see his reaction and sander calls him bro back and they end up the video laughing out loud; and also one where robbe’s looking at the camera with a sad face while saying “so my boyfriend told me he doesn’t love me anymore today” and sander saying off screen “baby, i did not tell you this”, so robbe turns the camera around and films sander rolling his eyes when he says “then what did you tell me?” “i told you we couldn’t get a dog, at least not now” and the camera goes back to robbe’s face when he says “same thing”

sometimes sander steals robbe’s phone and films some cute tik toks too, because he got sucked into that world now but he still refuses to have an account of his own, and he films some challenges because he wants to see robbe’s reaction to them, like the one where sander interrupts robbe playing videogame with his friends to cuddle him and robbe’s reaction is the cutest thing ever, dropping the controller as soon as sander settles down on his lap, taking his headphones off and hugging sander back asking “you okay, baby?” and dropping a kiss to his head when sander nods; or the one where sander opens the blanket in front of robbe and as soon as robbe sees it he jumps in bed with sander, showering him in kisses and cuddling him saying “best thing ever after a long day, i love you”; or one where sander and robbe are facetiming and sander pretends to fall asleep while robbe’s playing some game and his reaction is the softest when he looks down at sander and double checks when he realises he fell asleep, pausing the game and screenshotting the moment, with sander looking all cuddled up in his blankets and robbe looking stupid in love with his boy; an lastly one where they’re just being total goofs dancing around with each other in the middle of a desert street late at night and when it starts raining they stay there, still dancing and kissing each other while it pours down rain, making everyone go soft at the movie like scene

later on they decide to turn robbe’s account into a sobbe one - giving into the ship name their followers gave them back then, when they were just best friends doing stupid tik toks for a laugh

so yeah, don’t mind me

[sapphicwhxre]

artist

♥︎ pairing: pansy parkinson x fem!reader

♥︎ summary: pansy finds a nude picture of yourself that you painted and forgot about.

♥︎ requested: yes | no

♥︎ warnings: dom!pansy, nudes, dirty talk, use of slut/whore/etc., praise + slight possession kink, fingering, oral (female receiving), scissoring

♥︎ a/n: SHE IS SO CUTE LOOK AT HER SMILE OMG OMG ─ pansy has my heart and soul. also i don't have tik tok (pls i talk shit about it like every week) but from what i got, i think people paint their nudes and give them to their s/o. the request was that she finds them so i did that instead + changed a little. so uh enjoy!!

every girl has her “naughty” pictures ─ the ones they’d simply die of embarrassment if their parents or friends ever saw.

as a witch who attends hogwarts, yours just so happened to show your fingers going to work on your bare naked pussy explicitly. although with the content, you thought even a muggle would be more captivated with the imagery than the fact that the photo was moving all on its own.

the photo was all in good fun and you had no use for it. for that reason, you’d chosen to paint it. you used your favourite colours and precise brush strokes, covering the sexual image with the designs you found most inspiring. you took an extra day, having fun with the decorating and eventually tucked it away into an old journal, letting it drift out of your mind.

“oh merlin,” pansy moaned, unprompted. the sudden noise caused you to look up at your girlfriend with an eyebrow raised. her thighs were now clenching and you searched the girl who’d been searching your drawer for an extra t-shirt for an explanation. “something wrong, love?” you asked, now standing to walk towards her. pansy dropped what was in her hand and your eyes went wide, shifting back and forth to the item and your girlfriend.

she’d seen your forgotten photo and from the ravenous look in her eyes, it was safe to say she liked what she saw. “didn’t know my girlfriend was a little artist,” pansy smirked, raking her eyes down your body. her words and exuding confidence started a pool between your legs. “sitting there all pretty like a model, covering just what i want to see with all that paint. fuck,” she pushed you onto your bed, plump lips beaming. she kissed you hungrily, enveloping your lips and tasting your chapstick like a sweet treat.

she took her mouth to your neck, her hot breath and nibbles leaving purple love bites wherever she touched. “my pretty, marked up girl,” she growled, grabbing your breasts firmly through your shirt. “take off the shirt, i want to see these bare,” her request rang like a commandment and you tossed it to the floor. she trailed the fingers you longed for down your thigh and snapped her eyes up at your soft whimper. “you want something, y/n? does my pretty little muse want me to touch her?”

you nodded, wide-eyed and horny. “yes pansy, please touch me.” tutting with authority you couldn’t help but love, she pulled back completely and stripped naked. “seeing you think you’re an artist with those photos, why don’t you show me just how talented those fingers are?” laying back across from you, pansy spread her legs wide open and gave you an open view of her painfully wet pussy. she noticed you staring and growing wetter and rubbed her thigh to take you out of your thoughts. “well what are you waiting for?”

you pulled her warm tanned legs so that they were resting on your shoulders and rubbed her clit with her own arousal. pansy moaned, grasping at the sheets beside her. “fuck me, baby,” you complied, easily slipping a finger and then another inside of pansy’s cunt. she moaned louder while you pumped into her faster. the movements grew easier as her pussy grew more and more soaked and you paired your curling fingers with your tongue dipping in her slick folds.

pansy’s hand gripped your hair and pulled your face away, moaning rapidly. “who said you could taste me, slut?” she was still moaning while you fingered her but her teasing was still dancing on her lips. “‘m sorry pansy,” you shoved deeper and fucked her harder, trying to make it up to her. “oh that’s so good,” she moaned and tightened her legs around your neck. “now you can taste me, just because you’re being such a good girl.” you obeyed, eagerly, and dove into her pussy again, licking her wetness and sucking lightly on her clit that she too had started to touch for added friction, to the clear thought of your photo in her mind. she became unraveled, screaming with pleasure and gripping your hair, as if telling you that you better not stop.

the intense orgasm that overtook her met your fingers and spilled onto your lips, wetting your chin and making your pout glisten with cum. “suck,” pansy demanded through her heavily laboured breathing. you put the entirety of your digits in your mouth and sucked them clean, not breaking eye contact with your girlfriend. she took a moment to recover from the pleasure you gave her and sat herself up and, grabbing your chin and looking into your eyes. she kissed you roughly, tongue swiping her juice on your lips. “you did so good, my love,” her teeth grazed your lips through her close-eyed whisper. “tell me what you were thinking of when you fucked yourself in that photo. you looked so hot. i want to reward my dirty girl.”

“i was thinking of you,” you fought the urge to just start touching yourself. “i wanted ─ fuck, i want you to eat me out and...” pansy stroked your cheek gently and gave you a reassuring smile. “and what else sweetheart?” she cooed. “and i want to feel your pussy fucking mine,” you said, your voice high and needy. “your mouth on my tits, leaving hickies everywhere, i want you pansy.” pansy’s hand found your sex and rubbed you as you had, looking you in the eye. “yeah? you want everyone to see what i do to you, don’t you?” pansy teased your entrance, smirking at your state. “you like that i found that picture of you, right? answer me, y/n.” you gave her the words she was waiting for and practically blurted out, “yes, yes, i like being your little slut,” you threw your head back pathetically, the dirty words meeting her ears being too much for you to handle.

pansy took her finger across your slit and piled arousal on her fingertip. she rubbed the wetness on your nipple, flicking and rubbing your hard, sensitive buds. attaching her mouth to one and sucking like she was starved, you cried out her name and your hand flew between your legs. “touching yourself when you have me right here?” pansy scoffed, gripping your wrist tightly. “i won't punish you for being a bad, greedy slut just because i know how addicting those fingers are. you know too, i bet,” pansy wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead and a tear from your eye, “using them on yourself in that photo, painting like my little artist, and fucking me so good with them.”

“pansy,” you didn’t have to say your request out loud before pansy positioned her face just an inch from your throbbing pussy and licked a stripe right on it. encouraging, begging, and thanking heaven for pansy all at once with your moan, she worked her mouth on your core with the enthusiasm that knew how to have you trembling with screams. her lips and tongue worshipped you and even her teeth clacked carefully over your sweet spots and she mumbled against you, praising your pussy. “my perfect girlfriend. always my whore. cum for me, y/n.”

you came as pansy told you to and forced your eyes open in awe as your flushed girlfriend’s determination helped her lap up every last drop of your undoing. “y/n,” pansy hummed to remind you what you asked her for. “you better have another one of those in you if you want me to fuck you.” even if you didn't, you’d give it to her solely because you were unbelievably head over heels for her ─ and her power over you.

leaving a patch of cum on the sheet, she draped her leg over yours and sank her pussy down on yours, both of you moaning soundly at the warm feeling. she rocked at just the right pace and let your combined moans fill the room. the raw feeling of her cunt giving you sweet, sweet friction and her hands squeezing your tits made the world go hazy. cum ran down any skin in both your cores’ sight and a soft bliss soon replaced the screaming sensations of you and pansy finishing within moments of each other.

“say, y/n,” pansy called sweetly and breathily over your ruined states, swirling circles on your skin. “why don’t we take a couple more photos and paint 'em together?” steadying your own breathing, you grinned up at pansy.

“who’s the artist now?” you giggled, poking at her ‘creative’ spark. “only if i get to paint yours.”

“you, sexy thing, have got yourself a deal.”

─────♡

[sukifans]

May I request a Zuko x Reader with prompt number 2 from the 50 cliché prompts? I'm desperate for some fluff

SWEATSHIRT // zuko

WC: 1.8k

PROMPT: “your shirt/jumper was in the laundry pile and i couldn’t help but steal it”

WARNINGS: none

A/N: if you want fluff you came to the right place—tooth rotting fluff is my specialty. the title may or may not be a jacob sartorius reference. yall remember when tik tok was music.ly?

⇦ 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛

Living with Sokka certainly had its ups and downs. On the one hand, he always kept things interesting—you never knew what you might come home to find, and he often made you laugh so hard you had tears streaming down your cheeks. He could also MacGyver just about anything that broke in your apartment (usually broken by him, however). You’d only had to call maintenance once, when you’d found him stuck under the kitchen sink, absolutely drenched, and shouting for help as water viciously sprayed from the pipes and the garbage disposal made some sort of ear-splitting shriek.

On the other hand, his mind moved a hundred miles a minute and he often forgot little things, like closing the kitchen cabinets or starting the dishwasher. One such thing he tended to forget was to finish his laundry. Often you’d find his still-wet clothes in the washer or his clean clothes in the dryer, having finished several hours ago. The two of you had worked out a deal: if Sokka did the dinner dishes and bought the snacks for Movie Fridays, you’d make sure the apartment ran smoothly despite his forgetfulness.

That’s how you found yourself dumping a load of his clothes onto his bed after finding them in the dryer while trying to do your own chores. You picked through the shirts and boxer briefs before settling on stealing a deep burgundy sweatshirt—an unspoken part of your deal was that if you found his clothes, you were allowed to steal a t-shirt or sweatshirt of your choosing because he knew you liked to wear the oversized tops on lazy days.

He came back later that night to find you standing in the kitchen, scrolling on your phone while you waited for your tea to steep. Your wet hair hung around your face and you wore the red hoodie with sleep shorts and thick, fuzzy socks.

“Hey,” he said, dropping his backpack on the ground by the door and kicking off his shoes.

“Hey.” You looked up at him as he bustled around the kitchen, tossing something into the microwave. “How was work?”

“Annoying,” he sighed in irritation, making you grin. He turned to you and frowned, reaching out to tug at the sleeve of your sweatshirt. “Where did you find that?”

“I stole it from your laundry, stupid. You left your stuff in the dryer again. I’ve never seen this one before, did you just get it?”

“Uh... yeah. Thanks for doing that for me.”

“Mhm.” You slipped your phone into the front pocket and cradled your mug. “Why do you ask? Do you want it back?”

“Nah, it’s okay. In fact, keep it. Red doesn’t suit me, I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it.” He had a smirk on his face that made you very suspicious.

You raised an eyebrow while you slowly sipped your tea. “If you say so, Snoozles.” You flicked his arm as you passed him to retreat into your bedroom for the night. “Don’t forget to pick up your bag. And snacks for Friday night!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he responded through a mouthful of noodles.

You and your friends were gathered in the living room like every other Friday, this week to watch Jurassic Park (yet another classic that neither Aang nor Zuko had seen, much to everybody’s disbelief). Katara and Aang sat together on the armchair, Zuko sat between you and Sokka on the couch, and Toph sat on the floor with her back against the sofa next to her service dog, Badger. You had your legs thrown across the guys’ laps and all eyes (except Toph’s) in the room were glued to the screen. Well, for the most part—Zuko kept looking over at you all night. You tried to keep your attention on the dinosaurs, but you could feel him staring at you. Eventually you caught his eye and raised your eyebrows expectantly. He simply flushed and looked away. You furrowed your brow and turned back to the movie, pulling your hands inside the sleeves of Sokka’s red sweatshirt and sticking them in the pocket.

“Did you guys know that Spielberg wanted the raptors to be taller for the movie and then a few months after they wrapped shooting, paleontologists found a new species of raptor that actually fit the movie portrayal really well? They almost named it after him,” Sokka said with his mouth full of popcorn.

“That’s nice, Sokka,” Katara responded absently, obviously not listening.

“Yeah, and they made the T. Rex sounds with an alligat—oof!” He wheezed when you jabbed your foot into his stomach. “Asshole!”

“Pack it up, IMDB,” you huffed.

“I just thought it was interes—ouch, Toph!” he yelped when Toph punched his shin.

“Stop talking, I can’t hear anything!”

“Just watch it!”

“I can’t!” Toph barked. Sokka crossed his arms and slumped down, grumbling to himself. You and Zuko glanced over at each other and broke out in grins, pursing your lips to hold back your laughter.

As the movie progressed, you noticed the tension in Zuko’s shoulders. He had his jaw clenched throughout the whole scene with the kids trapped in the car with the T. Rex attacking. You nudged him with your knee and he turned to look at you.

“You scared, Zu?” you teased in a low voice, leaning forward to squeeze his bicep. “You want me to protect you from the dinos?”

He rolled his eyes but still lifted his arm, inviting you sit up and tuck yourself into his side. As you leaned against him he seemed to loosen up, settling into his seat and resting his head against yours. Sokka noticed this and looked around Zuko to waggle his eyebrows suggestively and very conspicuously, making your face heat up in embarrassment. Unfortunately, the idiot had caught wind of your crush on his best friend and had been relentlessly tormenting you about it ever since. You glared at him until he sat back, looking disgustingly smug.

After the movie finished, everyone got up to stretch and refill their drinks before the next one started. While talking with Toph in the kitchen, you noticed Zuko standing outside on the balcony by himself. You excused yourself from the conversation and made your way out to him while all your friends hooted in the background. It seemed everyone knew about your attraction to the boy, except for the boy himself.

“Hey,” you said softly, stepping outside. He looked around at you and gave you a small smile that made your head spin. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “just getting some air. It’s getting hot in there with everyone in the room.”

You nodded and stood next to him to lean against the railing. After a few beats of silence, you could feel his stare on you again. You met his gaze curiously. “What’s up, Zu? You’ve been looking at me all night.”

“Nothing, it’s just—“ he narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side as if inspecting you “—is that my sweatshirt?”

You frowned. “No, I took it from Sokka.”

“Lying bastard.” His eyes widened at your offended look when you rounded on him. “Not you! I—um, it is mine. I gave it to Sokka the other day and when I asked for it he insisted he already gave it back to me. The fucker gaslit me over a sweatshirt.”

“Sounds about right,” you giggled. “I’m sorry. I’ll give it back before you leave.”

He pulled at one of the drawstrings. “You can keep it, if you want. It’s, uh—“ he cleared his throat “—it looks better on you.”

You stood facing each other now, barely a breath away from being chest-to-chest. “I can’t take your sweatshirt.”

“You take Sokka’s all the time.”

“Yeah, because he always forgets his laundry in the machine. He owes me.” Zuko laughed a little at that, still fiddling with the string. You could feel your heart racing at his proximity. He sucked in a breath and seemed to brace himself for his next words.

“I kind of like how you look in my clothes, though. Might have to start leaving my stuff around here so you stop wearing Sokka’s.” The confidence in his voice was betrayed by the rising blush on his face that surely rivaled your own as you stared up at him with wide eyes.

Your lips parted to speak, but no words came out. All you could squeak out was a soft, “Zuko,” when he raised his hand to brush a loose piece of hair back behind your ear. You felt frozen, rooted to the spot, when his fingertips grazed your cheekbone. His hand lingered there, palm radiating heat into your already flushed cheeks.

“I—“ he pulled his hand back and chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly “—sorry.”

“For what?” you asked.

“I don’t know.” You grinned at each other and in that moment it could’ve been just you and Zuko left on the planet and it wouldn’t’ve mattered; everything you wanted and needed was right there in front of you, if you were bold enough to take that final step toward it.

“Zuko—“

“Hey, we—oh!“ Both of you whipped your heads around when the door slid open to reveal Aang standing there. His whole face went red and he laughed in embarrassment. “Sorry! Just wanted to tell you guys we were gonna start the movie, but no rush! Take your time!” He started to back away and you felt yourself release from Zuko’s magnetic pull now that your small bubble had been invaded.

“It’s okay, Aang.” You smiled gently at your friend and started to make your way back inside. “We were about to head in anyways.”

Aang shot Zuko an apologetic look before nodding and hurrying away. Zuko couldn’t find it in himself to be bitter about the ruined moment when you reached out towards him and gazed up at him with those warm, bright eyes. “You coming, Zu?”

“Yeah, right behind you.” He took your outstretched hand and laced your fingers together, squeezing his palm against yours.

Maybe you weren’t the last people on Earth, and maybe you hadn’t taken that leap just yet, but something between you two shifted and finally clicked into place out there on that balcony. Everything would work out just fine—he knew it in the way you kept your fingers slotted perfectly between his as Jaws played on the television, and in the way you quickly rose onto your toes to press a kiss to his cheek in the hallway before he left. He couldn’t wipe the dreamy little smile off his face for the rest of the night, even as he laid awake in bed thinking about you.

Yeah; everything would be just fine.

ATLA TAGS: @hotgirlazula @octophopi @simpinforsukka @protect-remus @akiris @sunflowerazula

ZUKO TAGS: @fiantomartell @avatarayeaye @hypercakeiii @sher-lockedmarvel @emeraldpotato @september-ctd

[cloveroctobers]

Our baby going to prom prompt with jordan baker please 🥺🥺

From this prompt list

so I feel like his first born would be a little girl (which he predicted but initially wanted a couple of boys first...typical I know)

he’s extremely protective over his baby girl okay it doesn’t matter how old she gets he’s still gonna be that dad

Has a loving/goofy relationship with her, something he picked up from his own dad but he’s only serious when he feels like he needs to be

Chose her middle name since he wanted her first name to be “olive” but you weren’t having it. He tried to be creative by relating it to his twin but Olivia also agreed that the name kinda sucked but to compromise with Jordan you allowed it to be her middle name

he calls her “olly” instead of her first name

He wanted to be very active in this whole process while you were more easy-going about the whole ordeal but also just as excited as your little girl once the date started approaching

“They think they’re all cool now but wait until they see you in your dress, I bet $20 bucks they’ll be bawling like a baby.” Jordan whispered to your daughter who bumped her dad’s shoulder laughing with a shake of her head

“I can hear you, you know.”

“Do you have ears on the back of your head too?”

Jordan was very vocal about your daughter’s dress choices, giving his input of what he liked and what he didn’t like

“Honey, that compliments your skin so nicely but let’s talk about that neckline and one of your thighs is peeking out...”

Sure he might not agree with certain lengths or what was being shown but if it was something you really wanted he’d cave.

Anything for his little girl

“I’m gonna go broke before she’s married.” Jordan grumbled as the assistant carefully handled the dress

You laughed with your arms wrapped around Jordan’s waist, “you haven’t seen nothing yet. Ask my dad how much he paid for my wedding attire.”

Jordan threw his head back, “oh god!”

“Thanks dad!” Your daughter giggled running up to the both of you to wrap her arms around the pair to add to the embrace

“You’re welcome, little stinker.”

You did everything else far as the glitz and glamour bonding with your daughter and getting the latest teen gossip as always + some more info on your daughters prom date

You’ve already met the kid once or twice at the school and he was a nice kid as far as you were concerned

“Yeah he better be or I’ll have to call in some reinforcements to help get rid of the body.” Jordan huffed the night before prom as you lay in bed beside each other

“I don’t know about all that with the way your back is set up...”you laughed at the appalled look Your husband sent you

“I sure haven’t heard any complaints from you.” He argued as you entangled your legs together making Jordan flinch after he peeled his glasses off to lay on his nightstand, “always cold, aren’t you?”

“warm me up then.”

Jordan smirked as he lowered himself into the bed palming your cheek, “like I said, no complaints.”

The girls were upstairs as their dates waited outside in front of the house

Most of the parents were inside chatting away as you waited for the girls...well one out of the friend group was non-binary something Jordan was still trying to figure out but was still respectful towards the friend

they all took their time but it was common for your daughter to be dramatic she was into theatre after all

you had Olivia recording on the camcorder and Spencer on his cellphone to send the videos to all the friends and family that couldn’t be here

While you were acting like paparazzi getting all the angles of your daughter and then her friends then all together

“we can always count on you to make us look the best.” Your daughter said as you got up from the floor

You fixed your daughter’s hair after her poses, “you’re always stunning without even trying, my baby.”

Your daughter blew a raspberry until she noticed tears swimming in your eyes

“I mean she looks just like me so of course it’s effortless.” Jordan tossed an arm over your shoulders earning a laugh from some parents who listened in while they attended to their own children

Your daughter rolled her eyes, “I have the most extra parents.”

“Oh nooo, What gave that idea away?” Aunt Olivia sarcastically asked

Uncle Spencer added, “was it parent one trying to do parkour to get pictures or your dad threatening your date in the shed with his hardware tools?”

Your daughter whipped around to face Jordan along with your raised brow, “Dad, you didn’t.”

“I had to set some boundaries!! even the nerdy ones aren’t what they’ve seem. I’ve seen some tik toks you know?” Jordan defended while you placed a smile on your face bringing your daughter into your arms as you hid your sniffles

Your daughter and Jordan shared a glance

“I’ll give you $20 the day after tomorrow.” Your daughter tried to mouth

Jordan turned his eyes into slits, “what?”

Your daughter slapped one hand against her head before pulling back to smooth down your hair for reassurance

“You gonna be okay?”

“Stop growing! I’ll be fine! Let’s get some pictures of all of you with your dates before we send you off to live your lives!” You sighed waving everyone outside

“It’s just prom Mrs/Mr. Baker!” One of your daughters friend’s attempted to make you feel better

While their parent replied, “yeah but to us it’s like you’re already entering adulthood.”

The kids all groaned as they tracked down the steps to meet their dates who expressed how they liked their “fits”

All the parents snapped away and wishing them all to have fun

The parents thanked you for the hospitality and the wine/beer before taking their leaves promising to chat about the kids drama later on in the week

You were in full on tears ten minutes after watching your daughter ride off in the limo with Jordan cradling your head to his chest

Olivia and Spencer were completely confused

“Is this normal?” Olivia asked getting comfortable on the couch

Jordan patted your head, “I knew it was coming.”

“Shut up, mr. I’ll get rid of the body myself if I have to.” But it came out a lot less clear to Olivia and Spencer but Jordan understood your crying fits oddly

Olivia turned to Spencer who rested his hand against her knee

“You ready for kids?”

Olivia widened her eyes as you let out another dramatic sob and blew your nose against Jordan’s shirt who bit back a laugh, secretly making fun of you, which means this must have been love ‘cause high school Jordan would have thrown a fit if his significant other was using his shirt to deal with their emotions rn

“I think I can wait another year.” Olivia answered

Spencer eyed his in-laws over his shoulder as Jordan brought you over to the center of the living room to grab the baby book but decided to put it back down, “want to play olly’s favorite game: twister?”

“Her favorite game isn’t twister that’s mine! She loves charades.”

“Oh yeah,” Jordan’s mind went elsewhere before shaking those thoughts away, “...What about Jenga?”

“What about jenga?” You mocked, “next you’ll say it’s operation.”

Olivia didn’t want to interject and say it was actually “clue” so she watched the usual banter between the two parents glancing over at Spencer awaiting his answer

“Yeaaah I’m cool on that. Waiting a year sounds good to me.” He agreed watching as you pointed a finger into Jordan’s chest who scoffed at you and crossed his arms 

A/N: This was too cute/fun to write!! Thanks for requesting! we love dad Jordan! Why do I see him driving a dad car during the week like a Subaru and then bringing out the expensive cars on the weekend with his baby girl in the passenger seat screaming along to prince and new edition songs. Just imagine billy in the backseat along for the ride too. Woooow! The ideas. I love domestic fluff so much 😩💕

[smediumsmeatbae]

Heads or Tails?

PAIRING: Steve Roger X Avengers!Reader SUMMARY: The Super Soldier and you are on a goodwill mission for the Avengers. When you get to the hotel, there is only one bed in the room. What will happen next?! WORDS: ~1300 WARNINGS: drunk decisions, Steve and Reader being idiots.That’s it, I think? Soft Steve is the focus of this fic because I’ve been really feeling Soft Stevie lately.   A/N:  So, I have to admit that the “only one bed” trope is probably my favorite and I couldn't wait to write something for it, especially with Steve in mind. He just seems like he would have the most deliciously awkward reaction of all of Chris’s characters. This is also very loosely proofread so any mistakes are my own.  This is an admission for the #shamelesshoesforchris challenge hosted by @navybrat817 and @stargazingfangirl18. The prompts that I used for this is: there was only one bed with the dialogue “You’re such a sore loser.” Hope you guys enjoy! You do not have my permission to post this anywhere outside of tumblr or as your own work. Likes are SO appreciated. Comments and reblogs make my week. Tags will be in a reblog since Tumblr sucks. lol. 

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"I know there should be two queen beds." Steve declared, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the single king in their hotel room. 

You sighed heavily, arms folded around your stomach. Why did he have to make a federal case out of this? Did he really have to make this more awkward?  

"Steve, it's fine. We can just…" You started. "I'm sleeping on the couch."  "What? First, It's a loveseat. I would barely fit on there, let alone you. Second, don't be ridiculous, there's plenty of room. That mattress is giant."

Steve and you were in a predicament. You two had been sent on assignment by Tony on a goodwill mission to London. After the past few years with the Battle of New York and Ultron, the Avengers were in desperate need of some good PR. Pepper and Tony worked together to formulate a plan. They decided on a tour: 10 cities in 30 days, London being the first stop. All they needed were two agents who could represent the team in a good light. Who better to represent the team than the Star Spangled Man with a Plan and you? While you were one of the newest members of the team, you were quickly gaining a strong social media following among fans who loved your self-deprecating humor, your Tik Tok dance videos, and how you took surprise selfies with the Avengers. You showed a different side to them, a softer side. Like the fact that Bucky could actually laugh and that Natasha loved to bake brownies. (That one had been very difficult to get.) 

Steve let out a little bit of a huff, which made you roll your eyes. 'Always so dramatic' you thought. He had been like this ever since you two had shared a kiss on the balcony of one of Tony's parties at the compound. Well, to be honest, you kissed him. That was thanks to a few too many shots courtesy of Nat and your crush on him did everything to fan the flame. From the look that he gave you after you parted, you thought the super soldier was going to spontaneously combust. After that, you had been too embarrassed to go and speak to him and he seemed to be in the same mindset as well when he avoided your eyes too. So when Tony had informed you two that you were going to be the “Face of the Avengers”. On tour. Together. For 30 days. You swore that your soul left your body.  

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He shifted from one foot to the other, being the perfect specimen of discomfort.  “Who’s uncomfortable?” You shot an eyebrow up at him which made him roll his eyes at you. 

A few minutes passed before either of you said anything, the obvious tension in the room palpable.  You heaved a sigh, throwing your head back and uncrossed your arms. You went over to your purse and dug through your wallet until you found what you were looking for. Coming back over beside Steve, you gave him a smirk and held out your hand, revealing a quarter. 

“Since neither one of us will bend on a solution, I suggest a good ole fashioned coin toss. That should be right up your alley, Captain.” You teased.  “Ha ha.” He pursed his lips. “Okay, what are the rules of the coin toss?”  “If you win, you get to sleep wherever you want: love seat, floor... tub if you want.” You explained. “But if I win, you’re in the bed with me.” 

Steve’s cheeks had a slight pink hue to them. He sighed and nodded at your proposal. What else could he do? You took the coin and flipped it in the air, grabbed it, and slapped it on your hand, covered with your other hand. 

“Call it, Rogers.” you instructed.  “Heads.” 

You lifted up your hand and showed him: tails. 

“Well I guess you’re sleeping with me, Captain.” You teased him.  “Best two out of three?”  He asked, a pout beginning to form.

“You’re such a sore loser!” You laughed, amused as his pouty face. “Is it really so terrible being in the same bed as me?” 

“No, of course not.” He stated. “It’s just… No. Never mind.”

Suddenly, you could see the crimson on his face and how unease he looked. Maybe he truly did shudder at the thought of sharing a bed with you. For what reason, you couldn’t guess, but you needed to find out why. Dropping your teasing tone, you looked at your friend and wanted to find out what was going on.

“Could you tell me… Please?” you asked, gently.

He shuffled for a second, seeming to mull over if he was going to say anything. Finally, he looked up at you, hands placed on his hips. A slightly embarrassed look on his face. 

“Remember the night you kissed me?” Shit, this is what he’s thinking about. You thought and you could feel heat painting your cheeks as well as you lowered your head. Steve continued. “I never got to tell you… I’d been wanting to kiss you for a long time.”

Your head snapped up, eyes going wide. Steve wanted to do what? He had never given any kind of indication that he had any feelings toward you. You remembered, vaguely, of a laughing Nat and Wanda grabbing you from him right after the kiss. They were demanding more shots from you. It was all kind of a blur. 

“The next day, I wanted to give you some space, give you time to see how you felt.” Steve moved towards you as he continued talking. “But you avoided me after that and I took that as a sign that you were embarrassed and didn’t want anything to do with me.” 

You couldn’t believe his suggestion. He thought you wouldn’t be into him? Steve, a man with a body of a Greek god, who had an ass you could bounce change off of, and arms as big as tree trunks. Even all of that, it also wasn't just about his body. You were attracted to him, yes. Anyone that had eyes could see how attractive he was. But Steve was so much more than that. He was compassionate and  bold; he believed in his convictions. He was also tender and kind. Sweet and funny with a subtle but quick sense of humor. When someone looked into his eyes, they saw the truth because all he could be was truthful. And he thought, truly, that there wasn’t a way that you could want such a beautiful man? In a lot of ways, he was still very much that skinny boy from Brooklyn who used to get beat up in back alleys.   

“Steve, that couldn't be further from the truth.” You spoke out softly, finally answering him. “I thought… well it doesn’t matter what I thought. It sounds like we just had mixed signals.”  “So… you do want to kiss me. Sober?” You couldn't help but notice the small glint in his eyes as a smile curled on his lips.  “Yeah, smart ass. I do want to kiss you. Very much.” You grinned as you walked towards him, closing the gap. 

Steve wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned down as you stood up on your tiptoes to meet him, hands moving up his chest and lacing around his neck. Your lips touched, gently at first. As if you were trying to search out each other. Then, Steve squeezed your hip and opened his mouth, deepening the kiss. A moan escaped you as you leaned into Steve, pressing your body to his. 

“Let’s go to bed.” He whispered huskily into your ear as his hands traveled up your back. “Yes, Captain.” You smiled. 

[russian-romanova]

these trying times

title: these trying times

pairing: peter parker

warnings: adult language, mentions of coronavirus in new york

notes: a little quarantine something for you. 

summary: life has always been hard for peter, but somehow it’s been even worse these past few months. 

+     +    +

Spiderman had taken to wearing a mask as he swung through the streets of New York City.

He didn’t really need one, both you and Peter knew that. The suit was designed in a way that air was safely filtered and there was no way germs would be getting in or out, but it was the public image of it all. Peter had called you with the idea a few weeks ago, hoping that if a superhero wore a mask to patrol the streets of New York, then maybe people would catch on and do the same.

People did notice. It made the front page of a handful of newspapers, but not with the effect Peter always wanted. Some were good, ‘Spiderman in the Time of Covid-19’ and ‘Spiderman Shows Support With a Face Mask.’ But some were twisting it into some idea that he was sick, or he was worried about the germs. Peter was scared, sure, but so was the rest of the world, and he never wanted for Spiderman to look scared. 

A few kids really took off with the idea, which made Peter happy. Really, he felt so much better about his fellow citizens when he saw them wearing masks around town. He had a few built up at this point, and he realized really quickly that he needed a ‘Spiderman stack’ and a separate ‘Peter Parker stack’ so he wasn’t wearing the same three in the newspaper and walking to grab groceries for Aunt May. 

Somehow, the worst part of it was how much he missed you.

Sure, he FaceTimed you a lot, and you had also both taken to using Zoom because there was something that seemed to cheer you both up about the picture of Joe Exotic with a tiger that Peter had put as his background. You liked to rotate out memes and pictures of Spiderman from across the internet to remember Peter how much people cared about him. Really, all he could think about was about how much you cared about him. 

But there was no more of the night time swing-bys. He knew that he was probably covered in New York’s germs and he hesitated to come anywhere near you. There was no chatting during school, no walking to get sandwiches or doing homework. Every now and then you would text him a question from a pre-calc assignment, but that wasn’t the same either. There was no wearing his Midtown pullover, not now and maybe not for a while in the future. No hugs, no kisses, just distance. 

Peter had gotten good at shoving all of that aside in front of the camera. It was lunch, or at least what you had dubbed as your lunch hour as you took a break from school. It was a good break from school as you FaceTimed, your phone propped up on your desk so you could watch Peter eat his sandwich and talk about the random shit that came to mind. 

“I got an alto recorder,” You blurted out as it came into your memory. “Last night. My mom ordered it off of Amazon.”

“Seriously? Cool. Like a fourth-grader recorder?” Peter missed the excitement that would have radiated from you in an actual face to face conversation, now lost in the screen. 

You nodded, bringing your hand up to your mouth to finish chewing your chips before adding, “Yeah, but it’s bigger and a little deeper. But essentially I’ve reverted back to my elementary school years, yeah.”

“Same! I started listening to all those old Five Nights at Freddy’s songs. Those used to be the only things I listened to in like, fifth grade.” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! And the ones with weird animations-”

“Art! They were art!” Peter laughed, leaning forward, and having to cough to stop himself from choking.” You laughed at his cough, which made him smile, but then there was silence. You looked at Peter for a moment, debating a question you could ask him or not. He could read it on your face as clear as day, but he wouldn’t push it. Frankly, he was just as happy watching you think and look back at him cheesily. 

“Pete… You’re being safe, right? At night?” You said softly and regretted the question the moment it came out of your mouth. 

Peter froze for a moment. “Oh, um, of course. I mean, as careful as I can be.”

“Right. I know. I guess I’m just really worried about you. There’s no social distancing in the life of a superhero, right?” 

Peter laughed a little, more of a sad chuckle. “Yeah. But there are fewer people doing bad stuff. It’s a lot more chill than it used to be.” 

You nodded. “Okay, good. No, I just wanted to be sure. Forget I mentioned it.” You looked down at your sweatpants to fiddle with the string.

“Oh, okay,” Peter said. He didn’t really want to move on, he wanted to make sure that you didn’t worry about him too much. But you looked uncomfortable with the topic and-

“You done anything else fun? That I haven’t heard about?” You blurted out. 

Peter was stunned at the change of pace for a moment. “No, not much. Lots of YouTube. Unus Annus, Tik Tok compilations, the works.”

“I still don’t understand why you refuse to get the actual app instead of watching them through YouTube.” You chuckled. 

Peter shook his head. “It’s the point of it all. I refuse to do the renegade or whatever.”

“You can have the app and not renegade,” You pushed a cookie in your mouth. “I mean, I just have it for the memes. Minimal dancing.” 

“I guess we’ll see how bored I get.” Peter looked down at his sandwich. His mind lingered on the topic of his safety as Spiderman, and how it worried you. God, he knew that you were already worried about the general superhero thing, but now to be worried about the stupid virus on top of it? You shouldn’t have to worry. You had enough on your shoulders.

Any other time, he would have waited until patrolling to swing around to your place and chat with you for a while. But it wasn’t any other time, it was now. Now sucked, and he’d have to make do, and Peter hated that. He hated not being able to see you every day, and he hated not being able to hug you. If he had to give up kissing, he would (although it would be pretty hard), but your hugs were the Goddamn best. He missed them more than he missed walking without a mask, more than he missed school or normalcy. He missed you. 

That night was silent. It should have come as a relief, but he was too worried to be relieved. He hated thinking about why it could have been so quiet. 

Peter looked up at the moon and the stars and realized that he never thought it would be this quiet at night. If he had brought himself for a year ago up to this moment, he would have thought it was the coolest thing. The sky and the stars and silence. But he wasn’t in awe now. He was scared.

Peter Parker was terrified. 

And no shit, so was everyone. But there was something in him that said Spiderman shouldn’t be scared. Spiderman is tough and not like everyone else, he rises above all else with no fear and a million other things that weren’t realistic no matter who told him. 

Peter needed something to get his mind off of it. He needed to think of something other than dumb coronavirus, and he needed peace. Real peace. Hope would be nice.

He shot his arm out and swung towards your place. 

Peter -- or, Spiderman, rather -- chose a spot on the apartment buildings parallel to yours to hang from, his webs holding him so that he had a free hand and a view of your window. He was six feet away, he was distanced, and he hoped he wasn’t being creepy. God, please don’t look creepy.

Peter pulled out his cracked little phone and typed three messages to you:

(this is stupid)

(but, uh)

(open your window???)

Then he waited for a moment and put his phone away. There was a pause, filled with a noise of a breeze cooling down the block for an instant before the window to your room pushed open. 

“Holy shit, hey.” You blurted out when you noticed him hanging from the building across from you. “Nice mask, Spiderman.”

“Thanks!” He waved at you with his free hand. “I just… uh,” He cleared his throat. “I just really wanted to see you.”

You smiled softly. “Well, that works out because I wanted to see you too.”

“Oh, cool,” Peter said softly. “I have to go soon, I just wanted to see you.” He shook his head at the repeated words. 

You just laughed it off. “Clearly.”

There was a silence between you two, but a nice silence. Comfortable. You looked at each other with so much love and hope that none of the other shit mattered. It was going to be okay. 

“We’ll get through this,” Peter shouted, before adding after a moment, “I miss you.”

You beamed back. “I miss you even more.” 

And maybe you did, but maybe the amount was lost in how much everyone missed everything. You missed holding his hand and chatting as you walked home. 

“Hey, Spiderman!” You had to catch yourself from calling him Peter. “Thanks for giving me hope.” 

He smiled under his suit. 

Everyone missed something, so you supposed you were lucky to have all that you missed outshined so much by simply seeing the boy that brought you so much hope. 

[ebthecelebrity]

Sometimes the Grass is Greener on the Other Side Because it’s Fake

Introducing Brenda and Her Insecurities…...

Brenda stares at herself in a full length mirror. She turns to the left then to the right, eyeing her booty. She sucks her teeth and sighs. “Ugh, why did my mama give me her flat ass!” She walks off in disgust and plops down on the sofa. She grabs her phone and opens up Instagram and the first picture she sees on her timeline is a chocolate IG Model in an orange bikini on a yacht. She clicks on her profile and scrolls only to see more half naked pictures of this model’s voluptuous shape.

“Her ass can’t be real,” she mumbles to herself.

She clicks off and continues to scroll her timeline. She sees her high school classmate with his two kids playing at a park, a photo of some cute puppies, and The Shaderoom’s petty commentary on rapper Bow Wow. She cuts her phone off and walks into the bedroom to find her boyfriend, Keith, laying on the bed scrolling on his phone. He was zoned in.

“What are we doing today?” she asks. He continues to scroll his phone.

“Keith!”

“Huh?” he replies startled.

“What are we going to do today? Did you want to go out to eat at that new restaurant off 49th Ave?”

“I mean...I thought we could hit up the beach later. You know, pack the cooler with some drinks and maybe get something to eat out there.” Keith replies.  

Brenda shrugs her shoulders. “Okay, I guess that’s cool.”

Keith smiles and grabs on her leg playfully. “Put on that sexy swimsuit you bought last summer, you know the black one.”

Brenda rolls her eyes. “Naaaaah, I’ll just put on some shorts. I’ll save that one for another time,” she replies.

She walks out the bedroom and goes back to the full length mirror and analyzes her body again. Truth is, she didn’t like it and definitely not in a bikini. She imagines her pancake shaped booty and A cupped breast looking pitiful in the midst of DD’s and Georgia peaches flaunting in the hot sun. Keith tells her all the time that she is beautiful, that he loves her body, but she just can’t seem to believe him. They’ve been together for two years but till this day, there are many times that she caught his eyes wandering. The beach was just a playground for her feelings to get played with under his dark shades. She truly resents going there but in order to keep the peace this Saturday, she agrees to his suggestion.

“I think my butt getting big, butt getting big, butt getting big…..” The song loudly blasts out of the bedroom. “Buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it….” Brenda silently listens to Keith watch “The Buss It Challenge” on his phone. It’s the new tik tok dance challenge where women appear raggedy looking at first with bonnets, pajamas, no makeup, etc. and then they drop down and twerk in the camera made up with hair, makeup and form fitting clothing. Brenda knew you had to have something to twerk in order to participate. She saw women of all races do the challenge and pop their ass on the gram, gaining likes and lust. She heard whatever video Keith was watching loop in replay three times. Before she knew it, a tear rolled down her right cheek. She quickly wipes it away.

It’s been two weeks since Keith and Brenda’s beach outing. Brenda is now sitting in an exam room, waiting to be seen by a doctor. She nervously tugs at her shirt and looks around the room. A few seconds later, a short gray haired doctor walks in and introduces himself.

“Brenda London?” He asks.

Brenda nods her head. “Yes.”

“Hi, I’m Dr. Castlerock. Nice to meet you. What brings you in today?”

Brenda takes a deep breath and replies, “Well, I want a consultation on a Brazilian Butt Lift.”  

On the drive back home, she calls Keith.

“I scheduled it for August 16th,” she says.

“Brenda, why would you do this to yourself? I told you, I love every inch of you. It’s unnecessary man.”

She could sense the disappointment in his voice. “I don’t like every inch of me Keith! Why can’t you just support me?”

“I want to support you in everything you do, but this is not it. Where is your self love?” he replies.

“I got self love, and that’s why I’m doing it.”

“So you’re really just going to disregard how I feel about your natural body? Don’t I tell you all the time how beautiful you are?”

Brenda remained silent.

“And what about the cost? Isn’t it expensive?” He asks.

“I have cashed out my 401K.” she replies.

“Wow.” Keith replies.

“Listen, my butt has bothered me my whole life. I want to be the woman you lust after on Instagram. I want to be the bad bitch in the bikini!” Brenda cries. “You say you love my natural body, but you’ll love this even more.”

“Aight Brenda, do you. You’ve made up your mind. I just don’t understand, and I never will. I don’t lust after those females. I lust after you. I love you.” Keith replies.

Brenda bits her bottom lip and holds back tears. “I got to focus on the road Keith. I’ll see you when I get home.”

They both disconnect the call and Brenda lifelessly stares out the windshield of her car.

It’s now August 21st and Brenda can’t sit, drive, properly shower, or even have sex. She’s currently lying on her stomach on the couch, watching tv in a compression garment to help reduce swelling and discomfort. This week has consisted of strong pain meds, tears and a little regret.  Even with his disapproval, Keith agreed to be her caretaker for the next two weeks.  He walks out the kitchen area and hands her a small bag of Lay’s potato chips.

Brenda grunts in discomfort while lifting up off the couch a little to grab them. “Thanks”, she says.

Keith looks at her in an emotionless stare. “I got to make a few runs. You good?” he asks.

“Uh yeah, how long will you be out?” Brenda replies.

“I’m not sure.” Keith grabs his fitted cap from the back of the bedroom door and walks towards the front door.

“Okay, well be sa…” Before Brenda could get out “safe”, he had already slammed the door and walked out. The past few months leading up to the surgery had been difficult between them two. It’s like all the love and admiration Keith had for her went out the window. They had not really been intimate and he refused to discuss the BBL. Brenda yearns to get the man she fell in love with two years ago back. She feels that as soon as her recovery is here within a week or so and he sees her new curvy ass, they will bounce back. He will not be able to keep his hands off her. She smiles while envisioning the make up sex they will soon have and how things can get back to normal. Her phone rings. It’s her best friend, Sadie.

“Hey girl, what’s up?” Brenda answers.

“Girl….” Sadie reponses with a pause.

“What?” Brenda sits her upper body up in attention.

“I just saw Keith with a bitch.”

“Say what?!” Brenda tries to get up off the couch but suddenly feels a sharp pain in her upper left thigh. “Owww oh my God.”

“Take it easy girl, I did not want to call you with this shit, but you know I took pics of the evidence. Sending the pics now.” Sadie assures.

Brenda’s phone alerts with the text message. She quickly opens it up and clicks on the picture of Keith and a random girl hugged up outside of a gas station. Her mouth drops open and she’s in disbelief. The random woman has the biggest smile on her face while he holds her close and has both of his hands palming her booty.  Sadie yells the words right out of Brenda’s own mouth.

“How the hell is he going to cheat on you with a flat booty bitch?!”

Introducing Trevor and His Enviness…..

“Aye excuse me Sir, can you take this pic for me real quick?” Trevor hands his iphone X to a stranger walking by who agrees to snap a pic of him in front of a silver 2020 Mercedes Benz S 560. It’s valet parked outside of the Ritz Carlton Hotel downtown. The man snaps the pic of Trevor and hands him back the phone. Trevor looks at the pic for a hot second and smiles.

“Thanks man,” Trevor says.

The man nods his head and replies, “No problem bro, that’s a nice whip you have!”

Trevor is a little startled by the compliment but replies back. “Uh yeah man thank you.”

“Those are going for like $100k.  I’m sure it rides nice.” The man stares at the car in admiration.

Trevor nodded his head in agreement. “Oh yeah man, it’s laced out inside.”

“So dope, I’m trying to get like you one day bro,” the man says. “Take care and stay up.”

“You too.” Trevor replies.

Trevor waits until the man walks out of view and walks the opposite direction. He hurriedly walks two blocks down the street and stops at the bus station. He takes a seat on the bench and pulls out his phone. He pulls up the picture of him in front of the Benz on Instagram and captions “Just dropped 100 bands on the new whip. Talk to me nice.”  He clicks upload and chuckles to himself. The city bus loudly pulls up and comes to a screeching halt at Trevor’s feet. He jumps up off the bench and gets on it to go home.

That next morning, Trevor wakes up to a loud vacuum outside his bedroom door. The door bursts open.  He jumps up startled and rubs the cold out of his squinted eyes.

‘Really Mom?!” he says groggily.

His mom frowns her face and rolls her eyes. “It’s time to get up!” she says loudly over the vacuum. Trevor sighs loudly and rolls over to the edge of the bed. His mom, Cynthia cuts off the vacuum and looks at him annoyingly.

“If you don’t get a job by the end of this week, you gotta get out,” Cynthia says.

“This week?” Trevor asks, confused.

“This week is what I said. All you do is sleep in late and eat up all my damn food,” she replies.

“Ahhh man. Mom, you got to give me a little more time than that. Getting a job doesn’t happen overnight.”

“I don’t know who you think you are, but you are 30 years old still living with me and unemployed. You are not too good to drop them fries at Wendy’s down the street. I told you they were hiring last week and you still refused to put in an application,” Cynthia says. “I’ve had enough!”

Trevor sucks his teeth. “Man, I’m not working at no Wendys. I’ll figure something out,” Trevor replies.

“You got 5 days and I mean it,” Cynthia replies. She angrily cuts the vacuum back on and rolls it out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Trevor stares at the wall for a minute, in an effort to fully wake up. He has no desire to work at Wendy’s. In his eyes, it was not good enough. He decided to get up and look online for a job. He pulls his laptop out of the closet and begins his search with indeed.com.

“Hmmm...desired salary range? $75,000 a year will do,” He says to himself.

Upon clicking search, he finds a lot of great paying jobs with benefits but the catch 22 is, they all require previous experience. Trevor has a high school diploma. After failed attempts to get into very prestigious universities, he was unable to secure an acceptance. His mother begged him to attend the local Community College to start off with his electives, but he felt that was not good enough. Trevor had dreams of becoming a journalist. He enjoyed writing and he used to record his own radio show for leisure. In High School, his grades were just not up to par for some of the schools he applied for. This discouraged him, and he never thought twice about going back to school. That was 12 years ago, and he has since worked dead end jobs and has yet to move out of his mother’s house. He became somewhat of a hermit, not engaging with friends and family. He secludes himself from everyone. His social media shows that he is a successful businessman residing in Atlanta, but in reality, he is broke, depressed and his mother still makes his bed.

After 30 minutes of searching online, his frustration grows and he slams his laptop closed. There is no way he can work at Wendy’s.  He fears that his fabulous lifestyle would be exposed by running into anyone he knew. He opens up his Instagram and looks at his profile.

“532 likes?! Haha, that’s crazy,” he says to himself while admiring the photo of him in front of the luxury Benz from last night.  He then scrolls his timeline to find a picture of a black suit and purple tie that someone had laid out on a plush hotel bed.  He screenshots the picture and opens his profile up again. He captions “Rise and Grind. #GoodMorning.” and uploads it. He then puts his phone down and prepares to take a shower.  He opens up his dresser drawer and pulls out a pair of blue boxer briefs. They had a hole in the back.

“Damnit!” He yells and slams the drawer.

Three days have now passed and Trevor is in his room playing his Playstation. His mother, Cynthia busts in his room.

“It’s Thursday young man and I’m not playing with you. Have you found a job?” She demands.

Trevor doesn’t take his eyes off the game and responds. “I’ve applied to a few places Ma, can you give me some time? I can’t just find a job in a week like that.”

“You’re lazy! And I want you out tomorrow! You better go stay with your cousin or something. I am no longer taking care of a man child,” she replies.

Trevor pauses the game.

“Ma, are you really going to kick out your only son? I’m really trying.”

Cynthia throws an empty box at him. “Pack some things. It’s time for you to grow up,” she replies.

She walks out the room. Trevor just knew he couldn’t live with his cousin Maurice. He still owes Maurice $500 from weeks ago. He truly had nowhere to go. Finally, years of misleading people with untruthful social media posts, borrowing money without repayment, not willing to work low wage jobs, and trying to keep up with the Jones’ has suddenly come crashing down. In desperation, he opens up his computer and types in “PPP Loan.” He reads where he will need a legitimate business to qualify and knows the consequences. This fictitious lifestyle has pretty much caught up with him but now he’s desperate.  He wants the car, the money, the clout…. He clicks on the SBA website and begins to fill out an application.

[i-want-anne-hathaway]

IT’S HEATHERS TIME, BITCHES.

I am listening to the Off-Broadway version, the West End version is way further down the line.

“White trash,” the students at a school with a population of like one PoC say.

I’m just thinking about EMHS because of Heather M. Once this is over, I should listen to the EMHS playlist that I put together with Robin because it’d be funny. Only problem is that it’s like 8 hours long.

The ranking goes Heathers The Musical, Illegal Heathers, Riverdale Heathers, and Paramount Heathers. I don’t take constructive criticism.

I’m 79.69% sure that in LA Heathers Heather M told Veronica to sleep with her, and I think that should’ve stayed in there.

Is Heather M a bully? Yes. Do I love her regardless? Absolutely.

The fact that it took me weeks to realize that JD and Diggy from Liv and Maddie were the same person. It blew my damn mind.

Also, I love Ryan McCartan. His Tik Toks are top tier.

Freeze Your Brain is a whole mood and a half. Coping Mechanisms! Even though he still killed three people, that’s a minor detail

I’m pretty sure the general agreement is that Big Fun is the worst Heathers song, which is valid. I don’t hate it, I just don’t vibe with it that much.

JD: You don’t need drugs if you have a nice brain freeze

Veronica like an hour later: HEY, IS THAT WEED?! I WANNA HIT!

It took me watching a boot to understand “thanks Heather, but I don’t really have to vomit right now” and when I realized it I was like “:0”

I loathe the “dang dang diggity dang-a dang” part of Big Fun because of how many people say “oh, yeah, that song from Tik Tok” when I play Heathers around them.

Where does Heathers take place? Because my understanding was that it’s in Ohio, but then she said “ride up to Seattle,” which is a bit extreme if you live in Ohio. If she was in like, Oregon or some shit, it would make sense. But you’re going to go 2247 miles to get to Seattle cause some Junior in highschool said you’re dead? Idk Veronica that’s a bit extra.

Also Ryan McCartan’s Dead Girl Walking Pronoun Showdown where you can hear Barrett laughing in the background.

*One kid dies*

Ms. Fleming: Our children are dYING!

On one hand, Me Inside of Me is a very real song. People aren’t always what they seem, and you can never know what another person’s experiences are. On the other hand, this doesn’t really apply to Heather C in the musical. There’s no evidence pointing to much hardship from what I remember. She just fucking sucked, and I love her for that.

I have a friend who likes to take my headphones and listen to whatever I’m listening to, and I was listening to Blue and I think I traumatized her.

I wish that the Blue reprise was on the soundtrack because it’s funny as hell.

Throwback to when Our Love is God was my favorite song from Heathers. It’s like 50% dialogue, but I just jammed to the last part of it on repeat.

My dad finds the “we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world” part the funniest thing ever. He heard it once, and he hasn’t let go of it.

“Ram, you’re just unconscious, right.” WELL, IF WE WAS UNCONSCIOUS, HOW THE FUCK IS HE GONNA ANSWER?! I get that it’s a rhetorical question, but it’s a stupid one.

The instrumental at the end of Our Love is God will forever be A Bop™️

“I never cared for homos much until i reared me one” is actually just my parents. Like, literally my parents.

In the video’s of them rehearsing Dead Gay Son, Veronica and JD are confused as fuck the entire time and I love it.

Dead Gay Son 🤝Love Thy Neighbor. They’re the same song, and I still don’t take constructive criticism.

Throwback to the time I sang Seventeen with a girl on my softball team, and then we just sat there staring at each other like “woah.” And if you know anything about my team, you’ll know that we’re all gay.

I feel like it’s a crime that I don’t know all the words to Shine a Light. It’s highkey a bop.

Okay, okay, okay. One time I was playing music with my mom, and I got Killer Instinct. And my mom said “her voice is so soft, why is she not singing about the struggles of peer pressure and anxiety” AND THEN LIFEBOAT CAME ON AND I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD.

Also the way that Heather M hugs Veronica after Life boat makes me soft.

I used to scream Shine a Light (Reprise) when I felt terrible because it used to make me laugh. I pick the worst songs ever as comfort songs, and I will continue to do so.

THE THREE GENDERS: KERRY BUTLER, AARON TVEIT, AND KATIE LADNER.

I hate when people say “I don’t like Kindergarten Boyfriend because it’s so stupid.” YEAH, THAT’S THE POINT. IT’S STILL SAD. IT’S JUST ALSO REALLY DUMB.

I’ve always been confused why JD says “date to the pep rally.” That’s not typically how pep rallies work. You don’t have a date to a pep rally.

I love that in the musical Veronica starts screaming back at her mother, but in the movie, she’s just like “chill out, dude”

Dead Girl Walking: SEX!

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise): DEATH!

Which is basically the entire musical.

I’m pretty sure that there are a couple lyrical differences in the I Am Damaged from the Off-Broadway version to the West End version, and I don’t know which I prefer.

I hated Heather Duke the entire show, but I simultaneously love her. Throughout the entire show, she sucks. But she’s a good character.

I love Seventeen (Reprise) because it makes me happy. Why? Idk, it just makes me smile.

Final Judgement: The line “sleep with me” should’ve been kept in.

Okay, but actually, Heathers is iconic as fuck, I think it’s a really good adaptation of a great movie.