#yeah but consider this shit sucks I wish I had ramen and was being held. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luvknow · 6 years ago

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sundial | kim seungmin

genre: kim seungmin x fem!reader | light angst ; friends-to strangers-to lovers ; high school/college/spring break au ; mentions of alcohol ; swearing summary: you’re in love with seungmin at the wrong time. wc: 9.6k

“Oh, my God, finally.”

Inside the posh coffee shop in the middle of downtown, Hyunjin sat at one of the tables impatiently awaiting your arrival. Of course you were late, how could you not be when he chose a place to meet up that was closer to his campus than yours!? And during the lunch rush, of all times. He always had a habit of choosing places or ideas that were more convenient to him, but he offered to pay, so it was an offer you couldn’t refuse. The clout you got for hanging out with his stupidly handsome ass was a plus for your social media points, too, so fine, you’ll hang out with him.

Hyunjin had his glasses hanging on the tip of his nose and shot you a sassy glare that reminded you of when your high school teachers would look at you both when you walked into class late because he had to fix his hair in the bathroom.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“No, you’re not,” he scoffed. “What took you so long?”

“I saw this trash bag on the side of the road and I thought it looked just like you, so I stopped and took a picture. Uncanny resemblance, right?” you teased, showing him the trash bag on your phone.

“You think you’re so funny, huh?”

“I’m hilarious.”

The handsome boy sighed dramatically and handed you your favorite order. “Here’s your drink, although it’s probably half water by now.”

“Thanks, and I’ll live.” You happily took the iced drink from his hands.

Hyunjin might be annoying and unbearable on most days, but he was one of your closest friends who regularly kept in touch with you after graduating high school. Meeting up in coffee shops in between classes or grabbing a bite to eat on the weekends was a regular move and those little meet ups were what brought you two closer together. Sometimes the meet ups had a purpose, like he needed last minute tutoring for an exam the next day that he totally forgot about or he was just lonely and wanted some company for dinner. During those times, you’d talk about random shit like some hot chick Hyunjin met at a party, or this drama you were totally into or reminisce about the good ol’ days and it’s like you never left high school.

Ah, the good ol’ days… Were they really that good if they were spent in high school?

You did miss a lot of your other friends that were in the group. It’s not to say that you and the rest of them weren’t close, it was just that your relationship with most of them was more like picking things up where they left off. Hyunjin also went to the college closest to yours, so you often joked about how your friendship with him was based off of convenience, which was kind of true all things considered, right?

“You’re usually not as urgent when it comes to me being late. I think you texted me more today than you have in a month,” you noted suspiciously.

“Can’t I just be eager to see you ~?”

“No.”

“Caught me. I’m eager to see you because I need an answer from you by the time we part ways.”

“You sound so romantic - like when the guy is confessing to the girl when it’s raining and he’s like ‘I love you! I need to know if you love me, too!’”

“Not to disappoint your fantasy of dating me, but I’m not confessing to you. At least not today,” Hyunjin giggled cutely. “A bunch of us are getting together for spring break at Changbin’s vacation home. You down to go?”

“Ah, the vacation home! We have a lot of memories there.”

Both you and Hyunjin could clearly remember after senior Prom all the cheap booze everyone drank for the very first time and both of you hogging the only two bathrooms to hunch over the toilet puking for hours. It was the morning after when everyone appreciated the stash of ramen Changbin had specifically for lunch with a banging hangover.

“And we’re about to make some more memories as dumb kids in college. So are you down, or what?”

“It depends. Who’s going?”

“The usual: Changbin, Jisung, Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Seungmin, Chan -”

“Wait, Seungmin’s going?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t he?”

Seungmin was the only one you didn’t really keep in touch with. There were texts here and there, maybe a Snapchat or two once in a while, but you never made the effort to meet up with him even when he was the one who asked to see you. When your best friend that goes to a different school asks to see you just once every month because he really misses you, the normal response would be for you to be excited because God, you really miss him, too. But your situation was a little more complicated than that.

“Right…” you hesitated.

“Why are you responding like that? You two were like the closest out of all of us.”

You shrugged weakly while playing with the straw in your drink. You hoped your body language could help you lie out of this one. “Even the closest friends can drift apart when their schools are on opposite sides of the country.”

“No, they would find a way to make it work.”

“Yeah, well… This one didn’t go very well.”

Hyunjin sensed your hostility and didn’t push the matter forward. Though his nosy self is curious as to what you meant, you’ll tell him when you’re ready. “Don’t let the awkwardness between you and a couple of others stop you from coming! We’re not the same without you.”

“I don’t know…”

“The _____ I know wouldn’t be such a coward.”

“Hey, I’m not a coward!”

“Then what are you so afraid of!”

“Nothing!”

“All I’m saying is that this isn’t very cash money of you.”

Hyunjin had this charm about him where he could passively pressure anyone into doing anything. It was like the most ordinary superpower known to mere mortals - basically all he’d say to get someone to do something was ‘bet you won’t’, but fancier and with more filler words that made you lose brain cells. Like what does you not being very ‘cash money’ even mean…

“It’s not even for the whole week, it’s during the weekend spring break starts because Changbin has family coming over afterwards. Please come? I’ll be so lonely…”

“Shut up, no you won’t.”

“Give me one good reason why you don’t want to go and I’ll leave you alone. Hell, I’ll even be your alibi and lie for you when everyone asks where you are, but only if you tell me what’s really up.”

Dammit. You had to weigh the pros and cons between telling Hyunjin the truth or sucking it up and going. If you tell him, he’ll stop bothering you, you’ll end up lonely and stuck at home, and now Hyunjin knows that painful secret you keep locked in the apex of your heart. But at least you won’t see the boy in question’s face, you know he won’t go around telling anyone, and your heart is still intact. If you end up going, you’re spending a weekend of a lifetime with your closest friends but that means Seungmin will be there, too. What were you to do if you went and saw him for the first time after avoiding him for so long? Would the heavy weight of guilt rest on your shoulders the whole weekend? Would you feel that familiar crack in your chest? Would your heart be in pieces by the time the weekend was over?

Were you being too dramatic? Maybe. Even though you believed your heart was strong, you couldn’t deny that it was weak for Kim Seungmin.

You could totally lie to Hyunjin, sure, and maybe if he was any other person you probably would have, but your friendship with him meant so much that lying to him was out of the question.

Ok, you’ll go. No one, not even Hyunjin, can know your unprecedented feelings, at least not yet. You’ll suffer through the heartache if it means no one will know.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you said halfheartedly.

“Really!? Awesome! You and I can drive down together. Ah, this is going to be so much fun!”

“I hope so.”

“We’re the closest to the house, so we can leave early and have time to stock up on the goods. Is silver tequila still your drink of choice?”

“Actually, I’m more of a Hennessey girl now ~” you bragged jokingly.

“Wow, are you getting classy on me, babe?”

“For spring break, I am.”

“I suppose Henny-thing is possible on spring break.”

It’s a terrible pun that made you wish you were deaf at that moment, but sadly, Hyunjin was right - anything was possible the moment you see Seungmin.

You met Seungmin by chance. The day you met him was the day the Principal had asked you to show the new kid around school because you shared the same schedule. Of course you agreed because you figured transferring halfway through the year was not easy at all and it’s not like you had the option to decline, anyways. You remembered how shy his smile was, but it still held an undeniable warmth to it - like how the sun rays would peak over the horizon at 6:00 am on a Sunday morning. He matched his smile with a bashful personality, silently nodding and following you around the school like a lost puppy and that’s how it was for about a month. Then you two were partners for assignments, lunch buddies, a carpool dynamic duo, and just like that, Seungmin became your confidant.

Ninety percent of your high school life was spent with Seungmin by your side. The other ten percent was crying over grades, but you easily repressed and replaced those memories with college replicates. You could never do the same to those memories with your best friend. Practically everyone knew how inseparable you two were and that was only because you two came from totally different social classes.

Seungmin was the sports guy. Not necessarily a jock - Minho fit that stereotype more than anyone else - but Seungmin was just naturally good at a lot of sports and still managed to keep his grades up which landed him a full ride to the school he currently attends. All those sports meant a lot of games which also meant a lot of cheerleaders and you know how it goes from there. To put it simply, Seungmin was popular.

You, on the other hand, weren’t as high on the hierarchy of popularity. As long as you weren’t at the bottom of the food chain, the high school protozoan society, you didn’t care where you fell on the infinite layers of the pyramid. But when your friends and his friends and your friends’ friends and his friends’ girlfriends and THEIR friends all knew about how close you two were despite your differences, it was like world peace had spread throughout the school because who knew the star athlete would befriend an understudy like yourself?

That’s pretty much the baseline of how your weird group came together. Seungmin would have his games and matches that you’d always attend and he’d introduce you to his teammates he got close to. You met Hyunjin at a volleyball game; Chan, Minho, and Jisung at a basketball game; Woojin and Changbin at a football game; and Sana and Momo were the cute cheerleaders who never let you forget how much they loved to hug. Seungmin met Felix, Jeongin, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung through you and that was your one big, happy, Breakfast Club-esque loving friend group.

You’re not sure when your heart decided without your consent to flip the switch from platonic to romantic, but you think it was either on one of the nights he sat with you in your parked car with food on your laps talking about the stars and beyond until 2:00 am or when he looked for you in the crowd after winning one of his games. You think it’s the latter because even though those late night talks with mix tapes he made you playing in the background held a special place in your bruised heart, nothing could compete with the feeling of running into his gross and sweaty arms after a game. His hugs were tight, like he couldn’t even bear the thought of ever letting you go. It’s like those cheesy romantic comedy movies set in high school, where the two main characters hug in the middle of the basketball court with confetti falling like snow and they faded out the crowd to focus on how perfectly you fit each others arms.

At least that was how you felt, but you watched way too many rom-coms growing up.

What sealed those feelings in your heart for good like piping hot wax on an envelope was when he asked you to Prom. The way he asked wasn’t extravagant like how all his other teammates asked their dates, but it was perfect nonetheless. It was perfect to you.

It was 9:00 pm on a Wednesday. Your school won this huge basketball game all because Seungmin landed a three pointer right on the buzzer. You went about your natural routine by jumping into his arms before he swung you around, fading out the background noise so it felt like it was just you two in the middle of the gymnasium. When it was time to leave school grounds after he’d finish changing, the skies were pouring.

“Did you bring an umbrella?” he asked you.

“Nope.”

“Same here. Well, I could use a shower after tonight’s game.” Without a warning, the silly boy ran into the rain towards your car with a big grin on his lips, leaving you stunned. Already soaked to the bone, he turned back to you. “Are you coming, or what!?”

“No way, I’ll get sick!”

“You and I can get sick together! C’mon, we won a game today, celebrate with me!”

He ran back to you and dropped his gym bag by your feet before taking your hands and pulling you out from under the awning. The rain was cold that evening, but you focused on the warmth of his hands instead and that was enough to forget about the rain. For a while you two danced as Seungmin screamed the lyrics to Dance Dance and Stop the Rain by Day6 at the top of his lungs with your laughter filling in the gaps.

You felt invincible. You’re in love, and you felt like you could fly forever in the pouring rain. How was he able to do that to you?

Then finally, after catching your breath from singing and laughing, the pouring rain subsided to a light drizzle and it’s the only music you both can hear. You’re too distracted trying to move the hairs stuck on your face to notice Seungmin kept his eyes on you until you returned his gaze with your confused one.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you wondered.

“You don’t have a prom date, right?”

“No, but thanks for reminding me.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“How is me spending prom alone good!?”

“Because I was going to ask if you wanted to go together.”

What. “C-Come again?” you stuttered, hoping the rain was a good excuse to hide your nervousness. Prom? Together? With Seungmin? It’s something you could only imagine in your dreams.

Seungmin got down on one knee and pretended the container of Ice Breakers from his pocket was a ring box. “_____ _____, will you go to Prom with me?”

Your body reacted in different ways. At first, your heart felt like it was racing to flat line, then the butterflies in your stomach fluttered like it was midday summer, and then you felt your head pounding against the walls of your skull. Seungmin was the only one who could make you feel this way.

Of all people, he chose to spend one of the most special nights of your high school life with you.

“Yes, I’ll go, you dork. Now get up before the security man watching us through the cameras gets the wrong idea.”

He looked up at you with his sunshine smile and rosy cheeks and its then when you realized you were in deep trouble.

You never questioned why he asked you. You probably should have - were you going as friends or something more? Did he feel sorry for you because you two were the only ones without dates within your friend group? He had people lining up to be asked by him, so he could have easily asked someone else, but he didn’t. Why?

Prom rolled around quickly, a lot faster than you expected and you were completely terrified. Everyone got together at Changbin’s mansion to get ready - the girls stayed in his sister’s room and the guys were hanging out for a couple hours before actually getting ready because it only took them like ten minutes to do so.

Seungmin was dressed in all black, like the rest of them, with his cherry red hair styled handsomely and standing out from all the black. His mouth was gaping when you entered the room. You were stunning, absolutely breathtaking. He held your delicate corsage in its plastic container and you couldn’t help but imagine that this was like how he had your heart in the palms of his hands.

His grin stretched from ear-to-ear the moment you stopped in front of him.

“You’re so pretty,” he teased, tapping the tip of your nose.

Your heart did a flip. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

And so prom night commenced! It was like any other high school dance except food was provided and the school expanded their budget so they could hire a good Dj for once. The decorations, the food, the occasion itself - none of that mattered the second the dance floor opened up.

Seungmin took your hand and dragged you onto the dance floor, thus making you two the very first couple to break it in. For a couple of seconds, this moment really was like how you’d always imagined it to be - you and Seungmin alone in the middle of the room, not caring about the world surrounding, and simply loving each other’s company. The venue could have been burning around you for all you cared, and even then, you don’t think you’d even notice it because Seungmin was with you.

Your friends and classmates joined in not long after, causing you to shorten the gap with your best friend. With your hands in his, bodies close, surrounded by your favorite people, even though the idea of dancing alone with Seungmin sounded so perfect, sharing the dance floor with all of your friends was nice, too.

Then the slow songs came on and you panicked. How did normal people act in this situation!? Did they just… go right into it? As if reading your mind, Seungmin was already guiding one of your hands to rest on his shoulder. One of his hands ghosted over your waist and the other was occupied holding your other one. It was one thing to hold hands - you were kind of used to the touch - but his hand on your waist was totally new. There were tiny, little electric shocks to your skin whenever you felt pressure in that area. You could feel him switch from ghosting over your waist to actually holding it for the shortest second.

It hit you that he was nervous, too.

“Are you having fun?” you asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“If I’m with you, always.” Your heart hurts. “How about you?”

“It’s never a dull moment when I’m with you.”

“I’m the life of the party, huh?”

“Well, you’re definitely the party in my life.”

“I’ll hold that title with the highest honor.”

“You better, Kim Seungmin.”

Being in his arms lasted too shortly. The dance ended with Seungmin being crowned Prom King and some girl from the same social ranking was crowned the Queen.

“Hold tight,” he told you. “I’ll be all yours again in a minute.”

They danced to some slow song to commemorate the occasion and somehow you’re not jealous. Rather, you felt alone. Seungmin could have been dancing with anyone. Hell, he didn’t have to be dancing at all for you to have felt that way. Just looking at him, standing within the circle of people, watching him smile the same way that made your heart flip, made you feel so, so small - like the tiny moon being compared to the vastness of the sun. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen feet away from you, yet he felt a million miles away.

What hurts the most was that this - whatever you and him were - was as good as it could get.

That’s just how it was, and that’s how it would always be, because Seungmin fell for the other girl in his arms a week later.

The sun was so warm even though it was only 8:00 am. The feeling was reminiscent of a simpler time. It took you back to when you were still in high school, hanging out with your friends until the sun rose again the next day with the only thing worrying your young minds was what kind of food you all wanted to eat. You and the girls didn’t bother suggesting any places because the guys would be yelling and arguing too much to listen, but it got to the point where you and the ladies were hashtag over it and went ahead to the place and texted the guys, ‘see you @ this location’. Eventually the guys learned to compromise, so now everyone got a turn to pick a place to eat.

The sun wasn’t the same in college. Sunrises and sunsets weren’t spent at the beach, but rather spent in the library on weekdays or you completely slept through them on weekends. At least this weekend you could be in the sun again. It was already off to a good start when you and Hyunjin soaked up the Vitamin D in his I’m-a-privileged-kid convertible.

“Whoa, your car has a camera, too!?” you gushed, pressing every button imaginable.

“Yes, now stop messing with my settings!”

“I call Dj! How do I turn up the bass in this thing?”

The journey to the famous vacation home was a couple of hours away, so with all of the pit stops for grocery shopping and instagrammable scenes to capture, you both would arrive around noon. You both practically wiped out the snacks and frozen foods section of the general store and with the bottles of alcohol and red solo cups in the second cart, the cashier was totally judging your guys’ purchases when the store only opened fifteen minutes ago. You tried to hide your shame behind Hyunjin, but he proudly swiped his credit card and bid the cashier a wonderful day. (“Why are you so embarrassed!? They’ll never see us again.”)

“So are you going to tell me what’s up with you and Seungmin or am I going to have to respect your silence?” Hyunjin asked after eating the french fry you fed him from your fingertips.

You knew he was going to ask eventually, so you weren’t thrown off when he asked, but that didn’t calm your nervous one bit. You might as well tell him. What did you have to lose?

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good. But I pinky promise.”

“It’s nothing huge… Things just aren’t how they used to be, you know?”

“You said so yourself that even the closest friends can drift away, but why is it that when you hang out with the others, it seems like things haven’t changed at all? Now that I mention it, I can’t remember the last time I saw you hanging out with Seungmin. When was the last time, anyways?”

“When did we graduate high school…?”

“Seriously, _____!?”

“I couldn’t do it, Hyunjin!”

“It’s not because you’re in love with him or something, are you?”

There was a short silence after what he thought was a rhetorical question and he can only assume from there because God forbid that you’d admit something like that out loud. Harshly, he pinched your arm hoping he’d knock some sense into you.

“Ow, what the hell! I didn’t say anything!” you whined.

“You didn’t have to!”

“It’s complicated, ok?”

“Oh, I’m sure it is.” Hyunjin ran a hand through his messy hair as if he knew delved into something deeper than what he expected. “For how long?”

“I don’t know… Around Prom maybe?”

“Isn’t that around the time he started dating what’s-her-name?”

“Yeah. Let’s just say the whole avoiding him thing started around that time, too.”

“_____, you need to tell him.”

“Are you out of your mind!? Why would I ever do that!?”

“You know they broke up like last year, right?”

Your heart did that familiar little flip. “Really?”

“Yes!”

“But that still doesn’t mean I should tell him. It’ll just make everything more complicated than it already is and what if I ruin the dynamic of this group? What if it gets awkward and you guys have to pick sides or alternate who you hang out with on certain days like kids of divorced parents?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you know?”

Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh as if he’s heard this too many times before. “You can’t let Seungmin know what I’m about to tell you. And don’t be mad, ok?”

“What do you mean…?”

“He asks about you all the time.”

Oh. Well that was unexpected.

“He does?” Either the sun was too hot or your heart was racing too fast, but you could feel your cheeks burn brighter after every passing second. Where did you put the sunscreen?

“When he sees you on my Snapchat, whenever he and I are texting, hell even when he’s at some party at three in the morning, he’ll ask me how you are because I guess I’m the closest he’ll ever get to you these days. He really misses you, you know? He wasn’t going to come on this trip unless you were going, so I promised him that I’d get you to go. Luckily that wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be.”

Hyunjin’s words struck your chest painfully and you’re filled with guilt, but you couldn’t risk mistaking Seungmin’s gestures for reciprocating your feelings when in reality he was just trying to be a good friend and make up for your lack of effort. Seungmin was always so caring and thoughtful of you, and what did you end up doing after graduation? Ghosting him and making up excuses because you were a coward.

“It’s up to you whether you want to tell him or not,” Hyunjin said, breaking the tense silence. “But I say shoot your shot.”

“You always say shoot your shot.”

“Yeah, but how often do I make my shots? Like one hundred percent of the time. That’s both precision and accuracy, baby, so you should trust my word.”

“But I’m not you, Hyunjin.”

“Very true, but you could be missing out on something great if you don’t go for it. _____, you and Seungmin… There’s no one out there that could be more perfect for each other than the two of you.”

“You think so?” The way your words came out sounded more like a surprise instead of you begging for some reassurance and you hoped Hyunjin caught that before he fed the little glimmer of hope inside your heart.

“I know so.”

Why did he have to say that?

The vacation house was exactly the same as it was on Prom night, only a lot cleaner. You almost forgot how huge it was - it was the biggest one on the block. Only the biggest and the best for the Seos.

Hyunjin parked behind a shiny black Audi that had Chan’s name written all over it.

“My car is still sexier, right?” Hyunjin pouted.

“I don’t know, dude. You got some competition.”

Changbin, Chan, and Sana greeted you both with open arms and tight hugs before helping you bring all of your stuff and the supplies in. The three were already dressed in their swimwear ready to soak up the sun while dipping their toes into the crystal clear waters of the lake and you couldn’t wait to join in. Sana dragged you to the girls’ room which was really just Changbin’s sister’s room, but it was the biggest one in the house.

“I missed you!” she gushed cutely while clinging onto you like a leech. You weren’t as hug-y like the rest of the group, but you admit that Sana’s hugs were one of the few you missed dearly.

“I missed you, too, you dork.”

“So ~” she sang suggestively with some sort of implication hiding in her tone.

“What…”

“I heard Seungmin was coming ~ And he’s single ~”

“Sana!” you shrieked, covering her giggling mouth. “Shut your pretty little mouth!”

“So you do like him!?” she muffled under your hands.

“How in the hell did you figure that out!?”

“Girl’s intuition? You’re also a terrible liar.”

“... I’m going by the lake.”

“Wait, me too!”

As the hours passed, more and more people started arriving and the fun was just getting started. By the time Jisung and Minho’s loud asses arrived, the tables were already set up outside and the liquor was practically pouring itself into everyone’s cups. All that was left was Seungmin and Woojin to arrive with boxes and buckets of pizza and chicken.

At the edge of the mini pier, Sana kept on nudging you whenever she noticed you look towards the door.

“Nervous?” she teased again.

“You have no idea.”

“Just don’t worry about it! Let the drinks do the talking for you!”

“It’s barely 2:00 pm, you alcoholic.”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

As if God wanted you to suffer, Hyunjin sloppily swung open the back door of the house to reveal Woojin and Seungmin holding lunch.

“WOOSEUNG IN DA HOUSE!” Hyunjin yelled, hoping you would hear.

Time began to move slowly - so slow that you hoped time would just stop so you wouldn’t have to live through the weekend. You instantly regretted agreeing to coming here the moment Seungmin laid his big, curious eyes right on you. He found you right away like he was looking for you and you only. Time completely paused once you were caught under his gaze and you felt like you were turning into stone. You felt like the many men who fell under Medusa’s gaze - where was your Perseus when you needed him? (He was busy eating a chicken leg. Hyunjin was literally The Worst Perseus.)

Time only returned back to normal when he smiled at you. It’s been so long since you’ve seen it, but you could never forget a smile like his that held a special place in your heart - it was irreplaceable. His eyes did the cute little upturn that had your heart racing faster than you realized and now time was moving too fast. Were you panicking? Maybe, but you couldn’t tell. He lifted his hand to wave at you but instead of returning the gesture, you jumped into the lake.

The water was cold. Even though you could see the sun rays from underneath the surface, they didn’t warm up the lake like you hoped. You appreciated the scattering, glittering light for only a second. The colors reminded you of all the fairytale stories about mermaids and pirates and oh, how you wished to be that young and naive again. The union of yellows and blues helped you calm down before you returned to the real world once more.

“Yo, you good?” Changbin called from the pier. Seungmin stood right next to him, worry painting his beautiful face and you felt your body sink deeper under the surface.

“Yeah! I, uh, thought I saw something shiny down there…!”

“Quit being weird and eat with us!”

Reluctantly, you headed towards the ladder on the pier. Water droplets were blinding your eyes when an anonymous person gave you their hand for help and it took a few blinks to see that it was Seungmin.

Under the shade, his hair color was a warm chestnut, but under the sun, flecks of cherry berry strands peaked out proudly.

“Hey,” he greeted before wrapping a towel around your shoulders. You’re shaking, but not because you’re cold. “I think you need this.”

“Hi… And thanks.”

“How are you -”

“Ti~ime to eat!” Hyunjin yelled, dragging both of you towards the picnic table. Thank Zeus for your Perseus.

Woojin found the restaurant where he bought the fried chicken from around midnight the night after Prom. He was so damn hungry after a vigorous game of Smash that he ordered the catering option on the menu and had it delivered. He didn’t want the set up or anything, he just wanted lots and lots of chicken, for all of you of course, and you remembered how much you and the girls clung to him as a thank you for buying real food that wasn’t chips and dip. He didn’t order the entire menu this time now that there was pizza, too, but everyone was happy with the food choices,

Seungmin sat across from you at the picnic table and you wished you had a drink in your hands to chug so you couldn’t worry about his presence. It didn’t help that Sana sat beside you, kicking you at random times throughout lunch both in a teasing manner and as a ‘talk to him, you weirdo’ manner.

“You still only eat the wings?” Seungmin asked.

“Hm?”

Looking down, he was right - you strictly had spicy wings on your plate. Whenever you and Seungmin got a combo plate at any chicken restaurant, you both would split it down the middle. You favored the spicier pieces and Seungmin opted for the milder ones. You expected his plate to be full with mild drumsticks, but his taste must have changed over the years because a spicy wing or two surprised his plate. Yours, on the other hand, stayed the same. What a weird metaphor for how the years in between affected you two.

“Since when did you eat spicy?” you asked.

“Since I didn’t have you hoarding all the pieces.”

“Ah, you should have said something back then! Now I feel bad.”

“You know I could never say no to you.” Seungmin teased.

Despite your restraint, despite the ache in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile. It was nice talking to you again. He was so happy that you were here right in front of him after so long. Even if it seemed like you were miles away.

After lunch, you and Seungmin were the only ones who helped clean up while the rest dove into the cooler or prepared the solo cups for drinks. Luck must have been on your side today - or rather Seungmin’s.

He wanted to talk to you - to ask you how you’ve been; to ask why you never wanted to see him; to tell you he misses you so, so much. But he didn’t. He stayed silent. You stayed silent. It hurts - everything, anything, all of it.

You spent the rest of daylight away from Seungmin. How was it that even talking about something as stupid as chicken wings gave you heartache? Or maybe it was heartburn? Regardless, being near Seungmin wasn’t good for you. No matter how many times today he tried to talk to you, to be beside you, to get you to even look in his direction, nothing worked. It’s like you wanted nothing to do with him.

What did he do to have you hate him this much?

“He keeps looking over here,” Sana noted while you both dipped your feet in the lake. She left the teasing tone behind when she noticed you hadn’t smiled as often as you should be on spring break.

“Why…?”

“He misses you.”

“I wish everyone would stop saying that.”

“Fine fine, I won’t bother you with it anymore.”

Just when you thought you could sit calmly without a care in the world, without wondering about how the boy you loved was looking at you, your serenity was interrupted by Sana pushing you into the lake. The icy water knocked the sorrow out of you and now all you wanted was revenge.

“You bitch!” you giggled before yanking Sana in by her feet.

Then chaos ensued! From the rope hanging on the tree to floating on the little inflatable banana, everyone joined you two in the lake. Laughter filled the open air and for the first time since Seungmin arrived, you didn’t think about him at all, even when you felt his eyes on you.

Your smile was still the same. So was your laugh, your little nose crinkle, and the blush that adorned your cheeks. With the setting sun behind you, Seungmin was reminded how you were still so beautiful. How could he have forgotten? It really must have been that long.

Your hair clung to your face the same way it did when it rained.

After the boys were tired to jumping off of the rope, taking flexing pics with the girls, and a hundred rounds of chicken, the sun set calmly below the horizon. Orion’s belt glittered the night sky first and that let everyone know it was time to bring the festivities inside.

“You comin’?” Hyunjin asked.

“Gimme a sec. The city doesn’t get a view like this, y’know?”

“Don’t stay out too long, you’ll get sick.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

The night air was crisp and cool, peaking through the holes of your knit sweater. It helped you sober up from what little alcohol was left in your system and you felt good even though you were alone. The slow winds dried your hair while you sat contently at the edge of the pier and for a short while, you just enjoyed the reflection of the moon on the water in solidarity.

Seungmin joined you shortly after he wrapped a towel around you again and you’re no longer nervous nor bothered by his presence. It was time to face the inevitable. Seungmin was always quite persistent when it came to you, so why bother fighting it. So here you two were - old, distant friends sitting at the edge of the pier in a tense silence waiting for the other to say something.

“Hi,” Seungmin began.

Your heart flipped. “Hi.”

“How are you?”

He was trying to be careful with his words - tip toeing around you so he doesn’t scare you away. How does one go about a conversation after being absent for so long? How are you, he asked? You’re coasting through torturous monotony. Before you could answer, he corrected himself.

“I guess it’s more like how have you been? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“A couple of years now.”

“Yeah… why is that?”

His tone was a homogeneous mix of curiosity, hurt, and upset and it was hard to tell the difference. He’s not mad, that you’re sure of, because you had to have your reasons, right? But would you be honest with him about it?

“What do you mean?” you questioned innocently.

Seungmin jumped right into it. “Why don’t we ever see each other anymore? Did I do something wrong?”

No, of course not! “No, that’s not -”

“Then what is it? You don’t answer my calls, my texts, or anything! I need a middleman just to get to you! What am I supposed to do when I’m up at 3:00 am at some party drunk off my ass and I’m somehow still thinking about you and worried about whether you’re eating right or sleeping enough!? I can’t call you because you won’t answer, so you know what I do? I call Hyunjin, and it hurts. It hurts because I’m sitting here wondering if you even miss me, too, or that you already replaced me with him, but I still call him because I miss you, _____. But I also can’t be calling Hyunjin every single time I think about you.”

He was like water breaking a beaver dam with his emotions spilling all at once. Seungmin’s angry and his voice is shaky, but he’s not angry at you. He’s angry at time and how time functioned. Something like this was inevitable, right? Moving cross-country to different schools, dating other people, drifting apart, forcing yourself to forget about him just so the pain in your chest would subside… It was bound to happen.

“Do you remember our promise?” he asked.

There was a huge get-together, one last hoorah at Woojin’s place before everyone parted ways to different colleges. Seungmin would be the first to leave tomorrow and it hadn’t hit you until you and him stood on the rooftop of the apartment complex overlooking a place you called home one last time.

“Are you all packed?” you asked quietly.

“Mhm.”

“Got your teddy bear and everything?”

“You know it.”

“Posters? Decor? Pictures of friends?”

“Yes, yes, and yes, although half of them are of you and me.”

“Perfect.” The tears in your eye were stinging. “How is Yuna taking it?”

“Way worse than you are, that’s for sure.”

“That’s how all girlfriends are supposed to be.”

“It’ll be worse after she drops me off tomorrow. You know how dramatic she can get.”

“Sure.”

Yuna would be the last one to see him. She’d be the last to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him she loves him, and it was better this way.

He nudged you with his elbow and brought you out of your thoughts. “What’s up with you, space case?”

“Nothing, I just…” The tears start to fall. “I’ll miss you a lot. That’s all.”

He chuckled because how could you be so silly? Of course he’d miss you, too, but nothing would change. There was nothing for you to be sad about. Seungmin pulled you into a big bear hug and smoothed out your messy hair that got tangled in the wind. His hugs felt like home.

“I’ll miss you so much, _____-bear. I promise I’ll keep in touch.”

“Ok, I believe you.”

“Never replace me, ok? I’ll fight someone if I have to, I swear.”

“I believe you,” you giggled.

“Promise you’ll never forget me?”

“How could I forget THE Kim Seungmin?”

“Just promise me. Please?”

“I promise I’ll never forget you, Kim Seungmin.”

“Mm, good. You know I love you, right?”

You’re crying harder and it hurts to breathe.

“I love you, too.”

“Did you forget? About the promise - about me?”

Seungmin was looking at you, silently begging for you to return the favor, but you refused. It’s like he didn’t know who you were anymore.

“I could never forget about you,” you reassured. You were unforgettable.

“Then where were you!? Where were you when I missed you? When I missed home? When I aced my final and wanted someone to tell me they were proud of me? When I was heartbroken over Yuna? Or when I just needed to know you were ok!?”

Where were you? Drowning your sorrows in some cheap jungle juice? Dying at the library maybe? Somewhere with Hyunjin? Most importantly, you were probably ignoring those feelings for him deep in the apex of your heart. That’s what you were doing on most days.

All that effort went to waste in the end.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled pathetically. “It’s been rough these past couple of years.”

“Me, too, and that’s why I needed you. Do you not need me anymore?”

You’ll always need him. No matter how far apart you are, no matter how hard you denied it, no matter how much you tried to forget him, deep down you knew you’ll always need him. The heartache would be worth it as long as he was with you, so you should stop fighting yourself, right? It would subside one day.

“I’ll always need you,” you whispered. “Maybe I just needed to be alone. In high school, I didn’t know who I was without you - isn’t that crazy? We’d been stuck together for so long and now we’re facing adulthood alone. Well, I’m alone, at least.”

“I’m lonely, too.”

“Yeah, but you have Yuna.”

“Had.”

“Right, sorry.”

“But you have, Hyunjin, don’t you?”

“I see him like twice a month and we don’t talk about that kind of stuff, so that doesn’t really count in my book.”

“Twice a month? That’s a lot… Yuna and I didn’t even see each other that often…” There’s a hint of jealousy in his tone and you shouldn’t feel accomplished, but it felt good to be on the other end of the spectrum for once.

“Can I ask…?” you hesitated. Were you ready to open a can of worms you weren’t prepared for?

“You mean what happened with Yuna?” Seungmin shrugged carelessly as if heartbreak was just a thorn in his side. “Even I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“One day I’m telling her ‘I love you’ and the next day I can’t say it back.” He laughed but it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You just stopped loving her…?”

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?”

“Ah, don’t get mad!”

“I-I’m not…!” you lied. Ok, you’re not mad, you’re more confused if anything, but how could he not know what went wrong in their relationship!?

“Funny, that’s exactly how she reacted when I said I don’t know.”

“If I ask a guy I’m in love with why he doesn’t love me back anymore and he says, ‘fuck if I know’, you bet your ass I’m gonna be pissed!”

He laughed again, but this time it was genuine. Then a comfortable silence fell in between. Seungmin got what he wanted to say off of his chest and you two were bickering like you would in high school, but he knew there was something you were holding back. The _____ he knew was never this shy around him. Yes, things have changed, but even he speculated it couldn’t be by that much, right?

“Are you ok now?” you asked.

“After the break-up? Oh yeah, I’m fine. The first week was bad, but I’m ok now.”

“That’s good. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

“It’s ok. As long as you’re here now and you won’t ghost me anymore.”

The heartache would be worth it. “I promise.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can continue missing you like this anymore.”

Seungmin loved the moon. She was beautiful tonight, but not when compared to you. In the same sense, you loved the sun, but you loved Seungmin more. The love story of the sun and the moon was tragic, wasn’t it? Fate decided that two beings full of light and love destined to only love each other would never cross paths. They would perpetually revolve around the Earth for eternity only getting a glimpse of each other every twelve hours, seeing the other fall below the horizon just before they could even say hello. But once every four hundred years, the sun kissed the moon during the solar eclipse. Waiting four hundred years was nothing compared to the short moment they shared together. It was worth every second when the timing was right.

“_____.”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

So this is it.

“I have.”

You saw Seungmin tense up next to you. He must not have expected you to say yes right away. “Really…?”

“Mhm,” you hummed with more confidence. Seeing his reaction was kind of fun. Was he wondering who you could be in love with?

“What’s it like?”

“You should know better than me.”

“I wouldn’t say that… But what’s it like for you? What’s it like for cold-hearted _____ to be in love?”

“I’m not cold-hearted! Am I…?”

“Ghosting me for two years is kind of cold-hearted in my eyes.”

“Ok ok, I deserve that.”

“Tell me, _____. Tell me your love story.”

You hugged your knees close to your chest hoping they’d protect your heart a little more than the cage it was already in, but she was wild like a bird and ready to break through any second. Not even you could anticipate how she’d react while you told your story.

“I wouldn’t call it a story,” you shrugged. “There’s no plot, no character development, no comic relief - hell, there’s not even a resolution of conflict. It’s just one big cloud of conflict.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.”

“Why was it conflicting? Doesn’t being in love make all your problems irrelevant? Doesn’t it make you want to fly?”

“It did at first, but now it feels like my wings have been clipped and just the thought of flying hurts because I want what I can’t have.”

“Now? You’re in love now?” he asked incredulously.

Curse the Freudian slip. “I-It’s just a metaphor…!”

You watched his shoulders relax. “Is your love story happy at all?”

“It’s more of a tragedy than anything else.”

“What happened?”

“How does that one saying go? You can’t help who you fall in love with? I guess I fell for the wrong person.”

“Couldn’t it just have been the wrong timing? Love just doesn’t fall into your lap. If you’re meant to be, you’ll end up with each other eventually, right?”

“I don’t know if I really believe in that.”

“Why not? The sun thought the same thing when he first fell in love with the moon and bam, four hundred years later, when the timing was right, they were together in a painfully beautiful eclipse. Total eclipse of the heart in the most literal sense.”

“Solar eclipses don’t even last ten minutes!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Well, what about you and Yuna, hm? Did you think you guys just fell in love at the ‘wrong time’?”

“No, we simply weren’t right for each other. I don’t think we’ll ever get back together - it’s not like she’s my soulmate.”

“Please don’t tell me you believe in that stuff, too!” you groaned loudly. Even in the midst of all the bickering, neither of you could hold in cheek-burning smiles, arguing just like the old times. You missed this just as much as you missed him.

“Of course I believe in it! How can you not!?”

“That’s not fair, Yuna reciprocated your love. You believe in this kind of stuff because you got to love and be loved and learn that you weren’t right for each other. So obviously, you fell for the wrong person at the time, right? It wasn’t just the timing of things.”

“But we both knew that because we were being honest with our feelings for each other, regardless of how we ended. How can you know for sure you just fell for the wrong guy or if it was the wrong time when you’ve never told him how you feel!?”

“Because you loved Yuna!!”

Crickets chirped in the bushes, lightning bugs danced by the shore, and pesky little mosquitoes stung the surface of your skin. You tried focusing on anything, even bugs, just so you wouldn’t have to look at Seungmin’s twisted and confused face. You should jump in the lake again - you would sink beneath the surface and hope evolution would turn you into a mermaid in a matter of seconds so you could swim away and never return.

You wanted to get up and run inside, but you were too tired. You wanted to cry, but even so, you were too tired. You wanted Seungmin to leave you for good and give you the answer you needed to hear, but maybe he was also too tired…

Even if he did leave, even if he ignored you forever, even if he hated you for loving him as more than a friend, would that make everything easier? It had to be better than this silence, right? It was so quiet that you could hear your heart collapsing as the seconds passed.

When You Love Someone by Day6 played on the shitty speaker of Seungmin’s phone.

“Do you remember this song?” he asked.

You could feel his eyes bore holes into your soul. “This played at Prom, didn’t it?”

“It was our first slow dance together.” Seungmin hopped up from his seat and held a hand out to you. He chuckled at your confused expression. “Dance with me.”

It was a command, not a question, so you reluctantly (gladly) obeyed. With both your hands in his, he pulled you up and guided both around his neck. His hold on your waist was not as shy as it was on Prom night. You’re not used to this confident side of him, but you figured it was just one of the few things about him that changed after not seeing him for so long.

You liked it.

Your collapsing heart was beating rapidly in your chest and with the nonexistence of the gap between you and Seungmin, you swore he could feel it, too. It was so loud - louder than the song playing on his phone. No one other than him could make you feel like you could die and fly at the same time.

“What are you doing?” you whispered.

“Reliving high school.”

“Ew, why?”

“What, you didn’t like being my Prom date?”

“It’s not that, it’s just why would you want to relive high school? It sucked ass.”

His laugh was music to your ears. “Yeah, it did, but it sucked less with you next to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you.”

You could feel Seungmin play with the hem of your sweater as the song ended. A queue wasn’t set up, so you and the boy you loved swayed to the crickets chirping in the bushes.

“Are you in love with me now or was that just a metaphor?” he asked.

“Seungmin…”

“I need to know if you loved the wrong guy or you loved me at the wrong time.”

“I…”

Seungmin was always a patient man, but not today - not in this moment. He needed to know your answer.

“I tried everything. I haven’t talked to you for years, I avoided you at all costs, and I almost gave up the chance of seeing everyone all together again because I knew you’d be here and I didn’t know what I’d do when my heart couldn’t handle seeing you. I tried everything to not to feel this way about you, and none of it worked. Maybe you are the wrong guy, maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it’s both, but no matter how hard I try, I could never stop loving you.”

The tears in your eyes blur the lightning bugs floating around you two. Everything hurts. Even when Seungmin held you tightly against his chest, trying to keep you whole, your confession made you feel broken. There’s no longer that heavy burden of hiding your feelings weighing you down, but you still felt incomplete. Empty.

“_____-bear,” he hushed, calling you by your beloved nickname he made. “Timing is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

“It’s a terrible thing.”

“Only sometimes. But today, it’s almost perfect.”

“How?” you asked, quite insulted that he’d say such a thing with you crying in his arms.

“After two years of trying to get to you, today I got to see you. I got to talk to you. I got to dance with you. I got you to confess your undying love to me. And now I’m here, under the moonlight, with you in my arms. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.”

“Don’t say those things unless you mean it, Kim Seungmin.”

“I could never lie to you, _____-bear. Not when you’re the right person at the right time.”

You sighed heavily, the shakiness in your breath apparent and Seungmin held you tighter. He kissed the top of your head when you buried your face into his chest. He felt like home.

“You make it so hard to stop loving you,” you mumbled.

“Good,” he replied. “Don’t ever stop. Even after I do this.”

“Do what -!?”

Seungmin must have been working out since you last saw him because with ease, he picked you up and jumped into the lake with you screaming in his arms. The water was still cold, much colder than it was earlier today and you knew you were both going to get sick after this. Before you could scold him and swear up a storm, his lips shut you up and you figured this was what it felt like to fly.

“I hate you,” you cried out after pulling away.

He moved strands of hair that stuck to your face. “That’s too bad because I love you.”

You couldn’t handle his corny words, so now it was your turn to shut him up.

The water was cold, but at least his lips kept you warm.

EPILOGUE

“Are they making out yet?” Sana asked Hyunjin who hogged the window space.

“I think so? I can’t see now that they’re in the lake.”

“Finally! It’s about time!”

“Yeah, but now we’re going to get front row seats to their PDA…”

“Oh God, it’s only Saturday, isn’t it?”

“And we’re here until Monday morning…”

“Great…” Sana handed Hyunjin a full cup of some mystery drink. “Cheers to spring break.”

#kim seungmin #seungmin #skz #stray kids #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #don't get mad at me this has ZERO plot ok it's all filler words aksjdklajdslakj #this did not take long at all wow #like 3 days tbh #omg i know it's a lot of hyunjin too LMAO SORRY #ah.... i'm nervous about this one

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meganshinsou-tm · 5 years ago

Text

Shared Walls. (m)

↳ chapter five: knock, knock

❧ genre: pro-hero shouto, coworkers to lovers, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: drugging, minor panic attack, blood

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

"So I guess it makes sense why we never ran into each other."

Todoroki looked at you as you looked out the window of the train, humming at your question when you turned back to stare at him and smile, making his heart warm.

"You know since you have to be at work much earlier and later than me, then with you taking Enji's place lately didn't give you much free time huh?"

Shouto nodded agreeing with you.

"Man, well I gotta say, I'm really relived that it's you living on the other side of me. I feel a lot safer."

Shouto quirked a red brow at you, this wasn't the first time you mentioned safety and it made him wonder what had you so ... scared.

"You know, you never told me why you moved here in the first place."

In the reflection of the window the man could see you biting your lip and looking down in the corner at nothing in particular.

"Well, to be honest Shouto it's a long and - complicated story, one that I don't really want to lie to you about but also one that I'm not exactly ready to tell you yet."

Todoroki sat there silently examining your body language. You had yet to look at him again and your fingers nervously fidgeted with the hem of your sweater while the other rubbed the back of your bare neck. Whatever your reasoning for possibly fleeing from the States, it had to be something serious and it made him worry. He didn't want to force you into telling him anything you weren't comfortable with yet though, he'd wait if he had to and show you that you could trust him.

Taking a chance, Shouto reached for your hand, it was the first time he had touched it since that dreadful handshake when you first met. Focusing hard on not letting his quirk get the best of him and possibly burn your skin, he enclosed your soft hand in his and squeezed lightly.

You looked from the window finally and to his hand holding yours, a tint of pink brushing your cheeks. You looked at him with those (e/c) hues that followed him home from work every day this past week, making him feel a little better at his choice of action.

"Tell me when you're ready then. I can wait, in the mean time if you ever need anything no matter what time it is or what it is, just knock on the wall twice and I'll be right over okay?"

"Thank you Shouto."

The rest of the train ride you and Shouto talked about everything under the moon that didn't involve delving too deep into your past. You found out he loves cold soba and that he prefers the cooler seasons over the warmer ones. He told you all about his years at UA, it sounded so amazing yet terrifying to you. He was only a teenager and went through so much shit and yet he was still here, not once running away from his problems.

"You really are amazing Shouto, all your experiences make my own seem so insignificant."

Your hand was squeezed again and a not so amused look crossed your friends handsome features.

"That's not true (Y/N), don't say that."

"I'm sorry Shouto. It's just, you see I don't exactly think so highly of myself, like I've said before I'm nothing special."

Todoroki looked like he was having an internal struggle going on, not sure what kind of face to make or what to say until he finally let out a deep breath.

"You know I really wish you wouldn't talk down about yourself so often. You may not think you're special but that's not how others see you (Y/N), especially me."

You grunted, the two-toned man was extremely serious and straight forward with his confession, making you get flustered as your hand and entire body broke into a sudden heat.

Air. Space - you needed just a little bit of space!

You chuckled and gave a sheepish smile towards Todoroki before shooting to your feet, looking for an escape to the bathroom to make sure you weren't sweating through your clothes.

"Excuse me Shouto, I need to go to the bathroom real fast before we stop."

He nodded and let go of your hand, letting you pass but at the same time the train come to a sudden harsh stop making you tumble and fall backwards into Shouto's lap. He grunted under the force of your body not so gracefully colliding into his, making him hunch over. His mouth nearly brushing your bare neck and shoulder and his hands gripping your hips. The sound that escaped from his mouth made you dizzy,

"Shouto~" you let out breathlessly.

He seemed to pull your hips closer to his as his name left your lips the way it did and you felt a sudden cold and heat flare up on your hips making your eyes widen and say his name again but with more urgency.

"Shit," he hissed out and let go of your hips. You both looked to see the left side of your sweater black and seared and the right side covered in frost.

You burst out laughing, wrapping your arm around yourself and covering your loud obnoxious noises. Shouto looked at you confused. One, you didn't bother moving from his lap, not that he was complaining and two because you were laughing at what could've been a major accident.

"You’re very strange!"

"RokiRoki, you didn't need to buy me another top, really!"

You complained as Todoroki handed the store clerk his card. The second the two of you got off the train he dragged you into the closest store to replace the sweater he almost burned to ash, you settled for whatever was cheaper considering he happened to pull you into a high end store. You picked out another slouchy sweater but it unfortunately hid your shoulders, ruining your plan to look somewhat attractive to your crush. As the two of you walked out of the store you quickly grabbed his hand and held it tightly making his eyes widen and stop and look at you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, its just I don't know this place and it looks really busy ... I don't want to lose you."

Shouto smirked and nodded, continuing to lead you into the busy and noisy city.

"The place isn't much further."

Nodding, you walked along and marveled at the city, looking in every direction. As you looked over to the other side of the street past Shouto you could see someone walking along while staring at you. It looked like a male but they had a black surgical mask on not giving away their identity. Squeezing Shouto's hand you walked closer to him and clung to his arm. The hero didn't mind and even lifted his arm, letting you hide under the shelter of him as you both walked. You don't know when but somewhere along the way you lost sight of the stranger.

"Here we are, you like ramen right?"

Sitting inside of the ramen shop put you at ease, it was nestled in a alley far away from the city and noise, you both ordered your food and waited at your table with your warm teas in hand.

"It's your turn," Shouto stated out of the blue, causing you to look at him from searching the establishment.

"My turn?"

"To hold up your end of the deal, we're here on a lunch date, now you tell me what happened with my father."

Remembering the text exchange from the night before you chuckled and leaned forward on the table, crossing your arms, making the little bit of cleavage that showed push further out and made Todoroki chuckle as he drank his tea.

"So, get ready, I'm about to tell you all about how I met my future father-in-law!"

The man before you choked on his drink and coughed as he covered his mouth and wiped it clean. You laughed back and handed him a napkin, "Just jokes folks, just jokes!"

After his episode you told him about the scene that unfolded the day before with his Hulk of a father, how he walked in at the worst possible time but helped you out and even chuckled at your dumb word vomit and how he told you to call him by his first name. In perfect timing your food came out when you wrapped up the story.

Todoroki smiled, "And you think you aren't special? No one else in our office is allowed to call my father by his first name, not even heroes that have been there for years."

"Oh yeah? Well maybe you had already put in a good word for me, he mentioned hearing a lot about me. I wonder from who," you tilted your head, slowly sucking up a noodle and staring Shouto straight in the eyes.

Shouto only shrugged and smiled as he started to eat his own food. Relaxing at his good mood, you sighed and ate as well. You seemed to put on a good front so far, Todoroki not realizing how on edge you were currently, you've gotten good at it from being with your ex.

Your eyes scoped out the place here and there, watching to see if anyone was staring at you in particular. People seemed to be minding their own business chatting among themselves, some looking around the same as you did. You saw a group of girls looking your way as well, gushing over Shouto obviously. It made you chuckle, you forget most of the time that he's a very popular hero, to you he's just Shouto.

Once you finished your food you decided to go to the bathroom, "Excuse me Shouto, I need to go wash up real quick. If the check comes here's my part of it!"

You went to shove money his way and he swatted it away with a stern look, anyone else you'd protest but the man had a way with putting you in your place with just a look or phrase. Giving up you ruffled his hair and walked off.

Once Todoroki had paid for your meal he waited, and waited.

It had been nearly five minutes and still you weren't back, causing the hero to get worried. He noticed how you looked around the room constantly as you ate, as if someone was watching you, seeming on edge and trying to hide it from him which you weren't very good at no matter what you thought.

"Hey what are you doing to her? Help!"

A yell caught his attention and immediately Todoroki jumped from his seat and ran outside where the bathrooms were located to see an elderly man walking towards a woman sitting on the ground caving in on herself and bleeding from her arm. Shouto felt his heart stop as he realized who it was, it was you.

Crimson liquid cascaded from your forearm and around the fingers of your hand that tried to grip it, your chest heaved as you panicked and whined out. The elderly man crouched down and gently grabbed you by the shoulder and cupped your face, trying to calm you down. Todoroki grit his teeth, he should've been doing that, it was his job, he does it all the time but he was frozen in place, he couldn't move, couldn't get to you.

"Stay with me sweetheart, breathe! I'm gonna call for – hey you! Help!"

The man called out as he saw Shouto standing at the end of the alley, he continued to call out but his voice was muted as Shouto only focused on your cries. Your head fell back against the brick wall and your face lulled to the side and looked at him. Your (e/c) orbs dull and lazy, pleading and full of fear.

Todoroki's feet finally moved as he sprinted towards you, pushing the old man out of the way. His arms scooped you from the wall and into his chest, your head falling back as you were going in and out of consciousness, falling limp in his hold.

"I think he tried to drug her, to make her go with him but she fought. He cut her while I was running for him but I couldn’t hold him."

Shouto's heart was pounding and he pressed his ear to your chest, trying to listen to your heartbeat and breathing. It was slowing but it wasn't stopping. You struggled to keep yourself up and your eyes open.

"(Y/N), I'm here, just hold on and don't lose my voice, okay? Please say something to let me know you understand!"

He stood from his crouched position, cradling you in his arms bridal style and shaking you lightly, repeating his words back to you.

"Dammit (Y/N), you gotta answer me, please!"

Your tired head rested on his chest and your fingers loosely gripped his shirt as you looked up into his eyes and tried to smile and put on that dumb front that you were fine.

"Sh-Shouto ..." you breathed out as you made a fist and lightly knocked on his chest twice.

#shouto todoroki #shouto todoroki x reader #shared walls #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction

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luucarii · 6 years ago

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With a Dash of Gin - Ch16

Kokichi’s a mess. Rantaro’s a mess. Rantaro’s sister’s a mess. The author’s a mess.

Read on Ao3

By the time Kokichi had gotten home it was late into the afternoon and Shuichi was curled up in his bed wrapped in his blankets. Beside his bed was his bag where he kept all his notebooks and papers for school, messily propped up against the side of the mattress. At the sound of the door, Shuichi perked his head up and waved to his roommate before making himself comfortable in bed again. It was rare to see him like this, so relieved. Usually he was on top of every little thing but now, with his final day of class before summer break finally over, he could let his hair down and rest.

“I was afraid my professor would carry on the lesson until after the bell rang. He just kept talking with no end.” Shuichi let out a sigh and sat up in bed, playing with a small strand of his hair that had fallen in front of his face.

“And knowing you, you’d keep your notebook open even after the fact in order to jot down every syllable he had left to say.”

Shuichi looked like he wanted to say something in response but it drifted off into an awkward chuckle. “You got me there… How’s Rantaro? What did you guys do?”

“I wish he would’ve let me keep it on but he did my makeup! I swear if I looked the way I did then back in high school, you probably would’ve let me take you to prom.”

“…Uh, I still would’ve said no. Kaede had asked me long before you even thought of it.”

“Suuure, says Shuichi Saihara, the straightest man alive,” Kokichi narrowed his eyes and Shuichi grumbled something under his breath, probably a ‘shut up’ but Kokichi couldn’t help but laugh it off. It was fun teasing Shuichi about his experimental phase back in his third year of high school. It was brief with a random guy (Hajime? Or something similar, Kokichi couldn’t bother to remember) he had met at a party Kaito had forced him to go to. Shuichi knew it was all in good fun for him but he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

It didn’t take long for the laughter to fade and for Kokichi to find his attention caught with some app on his phone. He had leaped into bed, resting his head against the pillow as he scrolled through, humming a melody to himself. Amidst the silence, Shuichi asked the question Kokichi had been waiting for since he had gotten home.

“Are you okay, after last night?”

“Yeah. I’m good. It’s been a good few years since then, I’m fine.” Kokichi didn’t look up from his phone but his scrolling slowed.

“Was it the fire?” Shuichi leaned forward in his bed.

Kokichi laughed. It was dry, his voice rasped. His phone fell on his chest and he held his forehead. “Everything was burning. They were screaming at me. Because it was the problem kid’s fault. It always is.”

“Kokichi…”

“I bet Rantaro’ll run away the minute he hears any of this. The minute he hears anything about the problem kid who’d pull stupid pranks on people and then get dragged by the ear home and scolded until his mom’s voice was raw. The problem kid who sucked so badly at mannerisms that his family could never take him out in public. The problem kid who burned his kitchen and bedroom to a crisp…’by accident’ or whatever he wants to tell himself.”

Shuichi bit his tongue. It was common for Kokichi to refer to all the things he did in the past as “the problem kid” doing them. Maybe it was a way to distance himself from it or maybe it was just the fear of accepting it all, Shuichi couldn’t tell, but he wouldn’t even try to ask.

He knew Kokichi wouldn’t go deeper than what he had already said. Hell, it was rare enough alone for him to go into so much detail. Kokichi trusted him with the circumstances of his past but wouldn’t ever bring it up besides a quick mention of it.

“Rantaro really cares about you. He wouldn’t just up and leave like that.”

“You would’ve, if you hadn’t known me for so long.” Kokichi looked up and his hair fell in his face. He scoffed, “most of my shit that you’re putting up with is out of pity anyway.”

“That’s not true.” Shuichi interjected almost immediately. The two had known each other since their early years in middle school but only just started becoming close around their first year of high school. Their friendship mainly started because of Kokichi’s sister trying her damndest to find a “good influence” on her younger brother. Despite his childish attitude and his frequent jokes, Shuichi wouldn’t deny he liked being around Kokichi and considered him as close as a brother.

Shuichi thought by this point, Kokichi would understand that.

“Whatever.” Kokichi sat up and shook his head vigorously, as if shedding himself of all the bad thoughts, “drop it, okay? I’m fine.”

Kokichi finished his sentence with a smile and Shuichi hated the way his eyes sparkled. How easily he could change his expression. How easy it was for him to hide his feelings.

“Come on, I’m feeling ramen tonight for dinner. My treat.” Kokichi leaped across the room onto Shuichi’s bed and grabbed his hand, tugging at him until the other agreed and somewhat reluctantly slid out of bed.

As Kokichi had somewhat expected, Rantaro went MIA for a few days. Any texts Kokichi sent went ignored and any phone calls went straight to voicemail. Although it would’ve bothered some, Kokichi didn’t mind at all. He had his assumptions that whatever he had heard from his sister was something that terrified him and he needed time to process it. For Rantaro, he’d wait as long as he’d have to for him.

Kokichi considered trying to visit him at his job, passing it as a “coincidence” but he couldn’t find the stomach to do it. Just as he was horrible at expressing his own feelings and emotions, he was damn near useless when it came to helping others. Really the only thing Kokichi could do was sit there and listen and he believed Rantaro deserved better than an audience.

When Kokichi had gotten a phone call from Rantaro later that week, he couldn’t help but feel a touch of relief. It hadn’t taken long but it seemed he was ready. At least, that was Kokichi’s first assumption but when the voice of Rantaro’s younger sister Midori rang through the speaker, he couldn’t help sputtering out a confused comment.

“Midori? Why do you have Rantaro’s phone?”

“He’s been leaving it at home the past few days when he goes to work. And it’s simple enough to turn on a phone, isn’t it?” Midori sighed and Kokichi half considered asking her what was with the attitude.

“Is something wrong, is he okay?”

“Do me a favor, go visit him. He’s been all weird lately because something happen to our dad.”

Kokichi bit his lip, mumbling a quiet apology. Midori hummed but didn’t seem too concerned. He seemed ready to object but she cut him off before anything.

“Look I’m worried about him but I don’t want him doing something stupid for a stupid reason.”

A stupid reason? That’s your dad. Kokichi grumbled but made sure he bit his tongue. He let out a sigh and agreed, to which Midori gave a half-assed ‘thank you’ and hung up the phone. Kokichi hated feeling obligated to do something but he wouldn’t deny his concern for Rantaro, especially after that phone call.

With the late afternoon approaching, Kokichi slipped his phone into his pocket, grabbed his wallet and began the short walk toward Rantaro’s bar.

#aarisfics #oumami #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #amami rantarou #With a Dash of Gin

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musicprincess655 · 7 years ago

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The apartment was quiet. For once, Kazuya was home before Sawamura. He was taking the opportunity to go over the data from Inashiro, looking for the best ways to combine their teams. It wasn’t like he really needed data on Mei, but it helped to look at the team as a whole, and it was better if he did this before Sawamura got home.

He couldn’t even blame Sawamura for getting them off track. Half of the time, it was Kazuya’s fault. He couldn’t help it, though. It was exhilarating to watch Sawamura’s growth, and exciting for Kazuya to be able to use the style of magic that came naturally to him. He was used to changing to suit the needs of aces, but Sawamura’s style brought out the best in both of them.

Kazuya stared at the score book, trying to find all the patterns and quirks he could use. He spun his pencil a little too hard across his knuckles, sending it flying to the floor and rolling under the couch.

“Shit.”

The couch sat low to the floor, so low that his arm wouldn’t fit under to retrieve it. He could just lift the couch up, or get a new pencil, but instead…

He shifted to a tanuki. Perfect. His arm fit under the couch just enough that he could reach the pencil, reaching with fingers that weren’t quite as nimble as human fingers but weren’t as bad as they could be…and grabbed it.

“Oi, Miyuki, do you want to get ramen?” a loud voice sounded from the door. Kazuya winced. Somehow, as a tanuki, it sounded louder. “I know it’s my night to cook, but…”

Sawamura rounded the couch, catching sight of Kazuya. He blinked. Kazuya blinked back.

“Cute,” Sawamura said. Kazuya tried to flip him off, but found he didn’t actually have the dexterity to do it. Sawamura seemed to get the message anyway. “Don’t be rude! It was a compliment!”

Kazuya hopped up on the couch, still in tanuki form. If Sawamura wasn’t going to take off running, Kazuya would just stay like this for a while. It was comfortable to hang out in tanuki form, just as much as it was to hang out in human form. Kuramochi hadn’t had a problem with it, which Kazuya considered one of the better parts of living with him, and it was nice to know Sawamura was the same.

“I’ve never seen you stay a tanuki for this long,” Sawamura said. “Do you prefer being a tanuki?”

Kazuya shrugged. He didn’t really prefer either. It was just that both were part of him, and he liked being able to go between. It sucked to have to stay a human all the time like he had when he was younger.

“It’s really bizarre to see a tanuki do human gestures,” Sawamura told him. “I guess you’re not a regular tanuki, though.”

He was staring. It wasn’t an uncomfortable stare, per se. He wasn’t looking at Kazuya like an oddity or a freak. He just looked…curious. Unfortunately, for Sawamura and his big gold eyes, that was still a pretty intense stare.

Kazuya looked away, and that seemed to tell Sawamura everything.

“Sorry,” he said. “Can I…?”

Kazuya gave him a look that he hoped translated to spit it out. The only inconvenient part of being a tanuki was he couldn’t actually talk. His vocal cords weren’t set up for it. He could make barking noises that tended to sound a lot like laughing, but no actual words.

“Can I touch your toe beans?” Sawamura asked in a rush. Kazuya looked down at his paws and back up at Sawamura. “It’s just…we used to have a cat when I was little, and it was really fun to play with her paws. I’ve never been this close to a tanuki before. I’m curious.”

Kazuya couldn’t really point out that he was a lot more similar to a dog than a cat, but as long as Sawamura wasn’t too rough, he didn’t have any reason to say no.

He held out his paws for Sawamura to see. Sawamura made a noise of delight and picked then up gently.

“Do your claws retract?” Sawamura asked. Kazuya shook his head. They were sharp and good for climbing things, but they could be inconvenient if he had to walk over a soft surface like a carpet.

Sawamura started kneading at his toe pads, far more gentle than Kazuya had expected him to be. He had a look of childish fascination on his face. Kazuya almost expected him to break out in giggles.

It felt…surprisingly nice. Almost like a foot massage, Sawamura’s fingers gently kneaded over his paws, working out tension that Kazuya hadn’t realized was settled there. He knew he’d been stressed about everything, but not to this extent.

“You really are cute like this,” Sawamura told him. “Especially because you can’t tease me like this.”

Kazuya swiped at his hand, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to make his point. Sawamura yelped, pulling his hands back.

“Tanuki bastard!” he yelped. Kazuya could help it. He laughed, the barking sounds filling the apartment. “Oh my god, your laugh didn’t change at all.”

Kazuya would be offended at how cheeky Sawamura had gotten if he didn’t recognize some of it from himself. It was probably his fault Sawamura had gotten like this, although in fairness, Kazuya could probably blame Kuramochi for some of it.

He was going to blame Kuramochi for most of it.

Kazuya flipped over on Sawamura’s lap. As nice as the foot massage had felt, he’d had about enough of it. The bones in his feet were finer like this, and he didn’t like having them touched as long as he could stand it in his human form.

He expected Sawamura to ignore him, but to his surprise, he felt fingers in his fur. Sawamura was gently stroking through it, scratching around his shoulders to remove the loose fur. With summer ramping up, Kazuya as a tanuki was starting to shed. He didn’t really understand why that happened when nothing similar happened to him as a human, but it was something he had to deal with.

At least spring didn’t mean he had to deal with mating season. The only thing spring had ever brought was an undying need to clean the house, which both Kuramochi and Sawamura had made fun of him for. It was annoying, and Kazuya was just as perplexed by his inability to sit still for the entire month of April as everyone around him, although his mother had been the same way.

Kazuya was pulled out of that train of thought by Sawamura playing with his ears. There was a growing pile of loose fur on the table. Kazuya made a grunting noise at it.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll clean that up later,” Sawamura grumbled. “Just relax already.”

Kazuya did have to admit, Sawamura had been really easygoing about the whole cleaning thing. Even though he wasn’t a tidy person by nature – Kazuya had seen his room – he was willing to help when prompted.

As Sawamura pulled more loose fur out through petting, Kazuya thought about how despite how loud he was, Sawamura was the easiest person he’d ever lived with. He probably only had that edge over Kuramochi because of his neutral alignment and his promise to keep chaos magic out of the apartment, but still.

“I keep having weird dreams,” Sawamura said quietly. Kazuya didn’t make any noise that he’d heard him. He knew from experience with Kuramochi that sometimes people found it easier to talk to a tanuki than a person. “Or, I think I do. I never remember much, and when I try to remember later I never can. Maybe they’re nightmares about the death curse, but they feel real when I wake up, even if I can’t remember them.”

Kazuya remembered that time Sawamura had predicted Kuramochi showing up when he’d had no reason to know about that. Maybe Sawamura was getting sensitive to the future as he got better at magic. It was unusual for a witch to be sensitive to the future – but then, it was unusual for anyone to be sensitive to the future. That kind of magic was notoriously hard to master, and almost no one had a natural talent for it.

Still, if anyone had talents for it, they were usually fae. Sawamura’s magic had always been a little weird, though. Not for the first time, Kazuya wished he could probe through it on a deeper level than he could as an unattached familiar. He needed something more like partnership to get the answers he wanted.

Sawamura had never pressured Kazuya about the partnership thing, had never even asked, which was surprising, given how often he begged Kazuya to pair with him. Not that Kazuya was ever pressured about it anymore, but he’d definitely received aggressive offers. Mei came to mind, but he wasn’t the only one.

Kazuya had turned them all down. There were certainly powerful witches and even a few fae among his offers, but none of them had ever felt right. After his experience in middle school, he was careful about partnership as a rule. He only got to choose one person, and he was going to make sure it was the right person, as much out of spite for his bullies in middle school as it was a choice to make him happy later in life.

The offers had been from powerful witches, sure, but Kazuya didn’t care much about that. He wanted someone who understood how a battery operated, how it was about a work of art between the two rather than one supporting the other, someone like…

Sawamura.

The thought almost made him jump out of Sawamura’s lap, but his muscles had gone languid from the petting. Sawamura was so quiet that Kazuya thought he might be asleep, but the constant motion of his hand meant he was only dozing.

In a lot of ways Kazuya had never thought about before, Sawamura was his perfect partner. Their magic was compatible in a way it had never been for anyone else. Kazuya had even thought before that the only way he could control everything Sawamura could do was if they were partners. And Sawamura, despite his loud independent streak, listened to Kazuya in a way almost no one else did.

And then, of course, there was that uncomfortable thump his heart sometimes did around Sawamura, although Kazuya was starting to realize that was a wholly separate issue. It reminded him of how he’d felt around Mei in high school, but it was different. Mei had just been bright and attractive and through his haze of new hormones, Kazuya had been drawn to him.

It wasn’t the same with Sawamura. Kazuya was nineteen, no longer a kid with a crush on all the pretty people around him. But sometimes Sawamura made him feel that way anyway.

A voice that sounded suspiciously like Kuramochi was laughing in Kazuya’s head. Leave it to him to fall for someone he’d never bothered to look out for. After Mei, Sawamura didn’t seem like Kazuya’s type at all, but here he was.

And he was going to have to deal with it. No matter how he looked at it, Sawamura was exactly what he’d been looking for in a partner – someone who would make them both better through partnership. But he didn’t want to ask if he still had these weird feelings wrapped up in it.

He was going to have to deal with whatever crush he had before he asked Sawamura to be his partner. Not that he had to ask. It was his decision alone. But he’d be better off talking to Sawamura first.

Kazuya snorted to himself. At least if Sawamura didn’t want him as a romantic partner, there was no way he’d say no to Kazuya as a magic partner. That was certain.

#fydna #daiya no a #ace of diamond #miyusawa #misawa #dna #my writing #magic au #dyfam

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