#yeah anyways im so sick of it. AND my tummy is hurting and idk if im hungry bc i also feel nauseous so thats great

[thursdayg1rl]

accidentally actually losing weight after my aunt called me fat instead of eating more out of spite...... kms

[poetofthedyingstars]

anderperry week, day 6 sick/hurt comfort: “as usual”

hehe sick/hurt comfort laced with angst and my brain is broken sshhhhh no complaints not proofread btw yeet

neil sighed as he struts in the long hallways of the hospital. truthfully, he have always dislike hospital, you know? it's just the people. it's just a weird building. just a weird building. totally not the people and their memories in it. totally.

he opened the door— the only door he goes everyday. that one white door on the third floor. where todd anderson lies in sickness. trying to get better.

he smiled immediately when he caught glimpse of the other boy. soft ‘hi’s were thrown in the air as neil gets the breakfast ready.

“how've you been, sweetheart?” he asked. as he usually does.

“the usual,” todd croaks. as he usually does too. “the nurses keeps waking me up in the middle of the night— they're gonna get their poem from me really soon.”

neil snickered at that. todd loves writing poems whether it's something he loves or something he hates. nevertheless, it was always laced with the sweetness of honey and covered in multiple blankets of metaphors. he's very delicate when writing, maybe that's why, it always came out perfectly. neil loves it.

“did you write a new one yet?” he asked. todd sat up in his bed and shook his head.

“nah, too sick to write one yesterday,” he answered.

“i'm sure you'll write a new one again, yeah?”

“yeah.”

they sat in silence for a moment. they ate their breakfast like the usual. neil spoon fed todd although he really doesn't like it. says he can but never take the spoon away from neil anyways.

“how about you, what'd you do?” todd asked.

“nothing much, you know. school and stuff. can't wait to get out of the school,” he answered while laughing.

“i wish i can go to school,” todd sighs.

“you will! when you get out of here. i promise.”

“if i get out of here, you mean.”

“WHEN you get out of here, i'll take you to our school. it has a nice ambience, you'll love it. you'd love the guys too.”

“i already met lots of em. you, like, bring them here on Saturdays.”

“yeah,” he laughed. “because—”

they both said in unison, “charlie said, Saturdays are for the boys.”

they laughed. “it's so corny i wonder where he got that.”

“me too! please, he always say lots of weird things. where on earth does he even get that?”

“i know! last time he started info dumping something about the universe i don't even remember it was informative though...”

they laughed again until both of their tummy hurts. until todd's internal hurts. he stopped and reached for neil's hand for comfort.

“neil, it hurts, it hurts,” he said. neil held his hands and squeezed it.

“it's going to be fine, it's gonna be fine,” he whispered in his soft loving voice. “i'm gonna call the doctor, okay? just wait for me. it's gonna be fine.”

neil looked back at todd, trying to assure him before he went out to find the doctors and nurses. when he came back, he was pushed back behind the crowd of medical professionals and even in the midst of it, his eyes and todd's meet.

neil smiled. todd slept and when he woke up, neil was still there. like the usual. he would always be there, right?

neil woke up when he felt the delicate fingers he always holds brushing his hair.

“hey, you're awake,” he said.

“yeah, unfortunately,” todd jokingly said which earned him a flick (pitik) from neil.

“what did we talk about saying about these things?”

“yeah, yeah. should be thankful im alive and stuff.”

silence.

“can you stay tonight?” todd asked, avoiding eye contact.

“that's okay, i have nothing to do anyways,” which is a lie but neil can do those later or tomorrow.

“sooo, which show do you wanna binge tonight?”

“ehhh, idk one of your rough old films i guess or that one cartoon about weird teenagers on summer camp eating shitty food.”

frown. “you mean?? i don't know what's that.”

“yeah, let's just watch another shakespeare movie.”

laughs and talks all night long. neil hoped it could be like that everyday. just todd happy. because tomorrow, he might not live to see the sun again.

[boundinshallows]

Tommy/Alfie Inktober - Day 23

Summary: Day 23 - Ancient

Notes: Fascinating how Inktober became, idk, Inkuary or something, isn't it? XD

------------

“What the fuck?”

To his credit, Alfie does manage to look the tiniest bit guilty, which is far more than Tommy expected of him. He crosses his arms over his chest and fixes Alfie with a look, gesturing with a quick nod in the direction of the new sofa, which Alfie presently occupies with Cyril.

Contrary to what Alfie believes, Tommy’s an animal person. If he wasn’t, Alfie and Cyril wouldn’t be here (as Alfie made it abundantly clear when they’d started dating that he and Cyril were a package deal). However, unlike Alfie, he has his limits with what he’ll allow Cyril to get away with.

He’d relented early on to Cyril being shut outside the bedroom while they fucked (“Listen to ‘im whingin’ out there, you heartless bastard; he’s lonely!”). And he’d reluctantly given up his mission to teach Cyril not to beg (“He’s not beggin’, mate. He’s just puttin’ his head on your knee because he wants to be near you.”). He’d even recently allowed Cyril to start sleeping with them after he’d woke up in the middle of the night to find Alfie curled up with a sick Cyril on the dog bed (“He needs a cuddle when his tummy hurts. Helps him sleep better. And Christ knows you won’t let ‘im in the bed for a snuggle.”). So yes, Tommy has learned to pick his battles because he’s unequivocally in love with Alfie Solomons, despite his better judgment and his brothers’ attempts to make him see reason.

But this, they’d talked about this before Tommy’d ever bought the sofa, the luxury sofa that cost him upwards of four thousand pounds. The one currently occupied by his partner and his partner’s beast of a dog.

“I thought we’d agreed before I left,” Tommy says, trying his best to stay level-headed.  

“Yeahhh, well,” Alfie says, sighing. “We did, right. You and me. But the thing is—”

“There is no thing, Alfie.”

Alfie raises his hand to stop Tommy from continuing. “Normally, I’d agree with you. We had a nice long chat. You threatened me within an inch of my life, and we came to a proper agreement, didn’t we? And, right, that all would have been fine, but, you see, the thing is—”

“Jesus!”

“Cyril called a dog moot while you were away,” Alfie says quickly, tossing his hands up as if to emphasize that there was nothing he could do.

“A fuckin’ what?”

“A dog moot. You know, Dog Moot.”

“You can say it as slowly as you’d like. I have no fuckin’ idea what you’re on about, Alfie, but you’re about to be out a boyfriend if you don’t remove Cyril from my sofa right now.”

“And I’d like to do that, darling. I would. But, well, it was decided at the moot that Cyril would be allowed on the sofa. It’s Dog Law now, and there’s nothing to be done for it.”

“Dog law?” Tommy asks, seething and feeling a headache beginning.

“Yeah, Dog Law has been decided at Dog Moot for ages, hasn’t it? And Cyril, see, as a sign of how much he deeply respects us, right, he allowed me to sit in as human representative. And I explained that you’d be upset and that we had an agreement, but human pacts aren’t legally binding in Dog Law. So really, I did what I could. But they held a vote anyway—all the neighborhood dogs who came for the Moot, right—and it was decided that sofa bans were no longer recognized under Dog Law.”

Tommy stands perfectly still and stares up at the ceiling. After a moment, he exhales slowly and tries to collect himself. He reminds himself that he loves this man, that he’d hoped to maybe marry him one day. Also that murder is highly illegal even though he’s quite certain any judge, at least one in their right mind, would be sympathetic to his case.

------------

Notes: As much as I'd love to take credit for Dog Moot, that creation belongs to my older brother. However, an occasional dog moot is held by the family dogs, so I've seen my fair share.

[dragontag420]

I am Rant

im just sadsacking so its under the cut, i just want to yell at world n have ppl nod n go "yeah! thats dumb!" so im putting it here

AHHHH i am

tired??

have not eaten in like 24 hours

late to work

my period started?? i am?? the fuck? i thought it was a week and a half ago?

i havent showered in like 3 days bc i keep forgetting n im not Getting Up in time for anything

My car BROKE and the piece that isnt working is HAHA like 600$ to replace, plus labor costs, plus costs to look at tje car (380$ to make sure which piece it is and get it pulled apart, plus probably another 100$+ to get it replaced n fixed)

oh and

so

i work until midnight xmas eve, so i cant get a ride w my grandparents to get the three hours home for xmas

and i dont know how id get BACK even bc i have work the 27th, and still, no Car.

mmm so also i keep forgetting to take my meds this past week? because retail is hell? so at might i keep getting SAD and UNHAPPY and WEIRD and LONELY

did i mention i havent eaten in like a day bc im too tired to make smth bc i.. dun dun dun, havent eaten?

my house js a mess bc we're both too busy n depressed to clean it

my room too, its #Bad

my tummy keeps hurting this week from stress

everyone at work is getting SICK except me bc i DONT GET SICK so i have to work with No Support or Little Support alot

Retail Sucks and im in Chico so everyone is pissed off bc of the fires and me not being able to Do anything Special or pull MAGIC out my ass to get them an item that's been gone for MONTHS because they're Fire Victims n they're all just so Angry and ahhhh buddy i live here too youre not alone in this please stop im so tired please dont yell at me because i dont have the Fortnite Switch Bundle and you lost your house si you feel entitled to be as angry at retail workers as you want

anyway bottom line

i have no car

i hurt

its gonna cost me so much money

idk how im gonna get home for christmas since i promised my lil brother id be there

nd my bus is pulling into work so i gotta dip

thanks for

reading

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?