#yeah I'm watching the concert stream while working
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thats-the-teen-spirit · 3 months ago
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One more thought, this is the first time that there's a big shift in Linkin Park's lifespan that it's not related to the production or style of their music. People ALWAYS hated any new direction since Minutes to Midnight. If she proves that people could change (as she might have been able to) and the new music is faithful to the band I'm fine with this lineup.
Some songs sounded really weird transposed to her voice, Numb/Encore was jarring to hear for example. And if this means that they will change these songs permanently live than that's a hard pill to swallow.
But I'm excited for the new material, especially because Post Traumatic was one of my favorite albums after Chester's passing for like a year. I still consider Mike as one of the best songwriters of this century and I'm very interested what he's been cooking.
I'm conflicted on the Linkin Park return
I like The Emptiness Inside, I think it's a very good song. It really is a powerful The Hunting Party era sound that I loved back then. I'm happy they returned to more of a rock sound for their comeback and also happy for them to finally solve their inner conflicts about reunion.
However (according to many sources I saw so far), she's a (maybe former?) scientologist and a questionable rape apologist which makes hiring her sound like a really weird PR decision.
Replacing a guy, who had mental struggles all his life and ultimately committed suicide with someone who supposedly doesn't even believe in psychology is wild. Also Chester was an all around nice person even despite his demons (from what I've heard) so we have to wait and see how she turns out. She will definitely not be a fan favorite, but let's be real she probably doesn't want to replace Chester because that would be an impossible task for anyone.
Idk man, they should've renamed the band or just release new material under their original name 'Xero' since the album is gonna be called From Zero anyways.
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britt-kageryuu · 8 months ago
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Leo is streaming. His model is in his Unicorn onesie, slippers, and mask. He's on his blue inflatable chair floating in a virtual pool. River is on a inflatable table next to him. He's doing an AMA, were viewers can redeem 'Turtle Treats' aka channel points to ask a question anonymously. There is a sign that lists some restrictions on the questions, and if you attempt you will just get your points back.
River: How are things going with your crush?
He turns quite red, and calms himself a bit.
Leo: Things are going fine! We run into each other every now and then at the Restuarant. We went on a couple dates. We don't want to put out to much about our relationship for privacy reasons. Okay next question!
River: Are going to go anywhere else after you finish school?
Leo: No, I really like the clinic, and want to stay there. Plus we have some big plans for the place, like we set up a little cafe type area in the waiting room for clients who might have to wait for their appointments!
A sign saying Sponsored/Not Sponsored by The Caffeinated Turtle Coffee and Tea swings down before 'breaking off' and falling out of frame. Leo looks confused.
Leo: Who keeps doing that? Anyway next question!
River: Are you into any anime/manga? Any favorite from your childhood?
Leo: Kinda for both. We didn't get many channels that had Anime on them when we were little, and it was a while before we got the internet installed, so we may have watched Pokémon, maybe some random DBZ, but didn't watch alot of it because of fighting over what to watch.
Leo pauses to take a drink before continuing.
Leo: But I have been watching some interesting ones recently, like Cells at Work, My Hero Academia, and Black Clover. Though all of us have our own tastes, and I won't tell you what the others like, ask them yourself. Next!
River: Do you have any odd house rules? Not game rules BTW.
Leo: Well this needs some explaining. Okay, a few years again we moved to our current home after an accident destroyed our old one. When we got here we started some renovations, like putting a huge tub in one of the bathrooms that fits all of us in it with room to spare! It looks like an Onsen. Well that left us with one actual Shower, since the huge tub is more for soaking than cleaning.
Another pause to take a drink and catch his breath.
Leo: So we are kinda extra, and tend to have Shower Concerts that last a long time. So if someone else wanted to shower after they would have to wait. So since no one wanted to try making a shower schedule, we now have a waterproof speaker in that bathroom that we can all control. So we play a set number of songs, or a really long song, and have to end our showers when they finish, or else we add an annoying song to the list.
River: Chat would like to say that's very weird.
Leo: Yeah, but it's that or scream at each other to get out of the Shower. Next question!
River: Do you know any other languages?
Leo: Yup! I know quite a bit of Spanish, but I'm a bit out of practice, so I might mess up my words. And we're all working on our Japanese. Dad didn't really teach us, because he didn't think he'd want to go back after leaving his family.
River: On that note, Do you have any family in Japan?
Leo: Maybe? We haven't really tried reaching or searching, because the last time Dad talked to anyone from his family was like, (he's trying to figure the right number) in like the 80's, 90's, and he doesn't really remember if he had any cousins, aunts, uncles, and the like. We might make some attempts in the future, but it's got to be an agreed upon decision. Next question please!
The stream went on for a while longer with chat getting very excited about this new information, and some trying to connect information, but some just get knocked out for obviously trying to dig for more personal information.
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heymeowmao · 11 months ago
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2023.12.17 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324979512155701380
Carnation Music Festival 3.0!!
LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. We are the Modern Brothers! There are so many people here, right? LYN: Can you hear the laugh track, though? That's the most important thing. Very important. // You can? Ok. LYN: Welcome to our 3rd Carnation Music Festival~ It's been a long time since our last one, so many friends were missing it. The reason why I decided to hold it today was in order to thank you for all of your support/protection.
C: Where are the carnations? LYN: WE are the carnations!
C: Sit down! LYN: No. Let me tell you- I'm going to spend this whole thing standing. Today's proceedings will be like a true music festival. We've done this twice already, so this time we need to upgrade. I'll do this whole stream standing. LYN: All the other ones I was sitting and singing, so this time I have to be standing. So I can show you something new. But somehow it seems like I'm about to hit the ceiling. I'm about to make a slam dunk. /looks up/ Oh? Why are the top lights on? Those make me look ugly... Well, it's okay. I'm ugly enough. It doesn't make a difference.
LYN: Today is nice. It'll be fun. This is Da Fei, our keyboardist. A lot of people ask me why I'm called "Modern Brothers" Liu Yuning. Where are my brothers? Did they run away? No. This is my keyboardist, Da Fei. He is a member of the Modern Brothers. And this is my guitarist, Ah Zuo. We used to be a small band; we were working our butts off every night singing in the bar. Then one day we finally made it- we debuted. LYN: But lately because I've entered the acting industry, their work became less. Now it's hard for us to meet up. But YNGS is about to finish airing, so I figured we could get together again after such a long time away. It's a small reunion. C: Da Fei-ge got rounder. LYN: Yeah, but Ah Zuo is not any better off. He's standing further back so it looks like he's thinner, but he actually gained a lot. LYN: Anyway, today we're just going to be singing. I hope you can spend a relaxing and wonderful night with us. The equipment is a little lacking, because we're just in my house. The camera broke, so we're making do with what we have- the quality might not be as good. But we're just going to have fun, so don't expect too much from me and consider this a concert. I want to say, though- my concert definitely won't look like this. If you're expecting to come to my concert next year, please don't let this lower your expectations.
C: I need to go to class! LYN: Many of you are busy. If you're busy you can do your thing. There's always the playback. You can watch it then.
LYN: Let's start this off with a song! And let me also warm up my voice! Friends- it's like this. I wrapped up at 12a last night and I came back home and we were rehearsing until 5a. You thought we just moved the instruments and were ready to go, but no- we were rehearsing until 5a. We are offering this concert up to you. It was made for you. My voice is so fricking tired; it's hoarse. So please be magnanimous if the results are not too good. Let me sing a small song first and we'll test out the sound. Earlier, before we started the stream, the computer just died. We were all flustered.
LYN: Let's do a small song first, and see how it goes. This is a benefit- a gift for all of you. This- I want to sing while standing, but it makes controlling the computer more complicated... LYN: Look at these- we prepared a lyrics book, too. We're being serious, today. Okay. Let's try it. - /Ah Zuo starts playing the first notes/ LYN: ! Wait! Ah Zuo hasn't been in a stream in so long he's anxious to start. He can't wait to get the song started. LYN: Don't panic. Don't panic. Because I am already panicking. - /tells Ah Zuo to stand more in the front bc he's gonna block him from where he's standing/ C: Ah Zuo's excited! LYN: No, he... he's just got a rushed personality.
春风十里
LYN: Thank you! Thanks for your support. C: I'm excited! LYN: You are? I am too. When I was singing I also started shaking a little. My hands started shaking, because it's been a really long time since I've properly sung a song in my stream and especially as the whole band. I'm a little flustered but it's okay. We have a long time for tonight. I'll spend a long time with you tonight, okay?
C: There's a glare on the mirror. LYN: The mirror? What mirror? Oh, you mean my glasses? That's the way it's supposed to be. A singer can't let you see their eyes clearly. That way you'll think they are mysterious and you'll desire to see into their inner heart. It's on purpose.
C: Why is Ah Zuo wearing slippers? LYN: They're my slippers, what's wrong with that? Do you want to steal them away?
C: How long do you usually stream for? LYN: I usually start with around two hours. I'm not like a lot of other artists out there who only stream for an hour at most. Here with me, I make sure you're full. That you've had enough. I start with two hours. To this day the longest I've streamed is around four + hours. My livestream is more like a security monitor- I leave it on for hours so you can come once in a while to look at me. I want to make sure you have enough. People in Dongbei have big portion sizes.
LYN: The next song is one of mine- it's called Fall in Love. When you heard I was going to do 3.0, did you buy light sticks home? Did you? No? LYN: I just saw a comment that read, "Ge, I have already put my makeup on and gotten my nails done. Now I'm ready to watch LYN's stream." You don't need to be so polite. You put on makeup at home, in order to watch my stream? That's a big honor. C: I bought snacks. LYN: Oh, you bought duck necks and snacks in preparation to watch my stream? C: I don't have light sticks, I have a small sun. LYN: Wow. That's warm. LYN: Anyway, this song- Fall in Love- if you're watching on your phone, then turn on the flashlight! When you're watching my stream, you can dance along. We want an online-offline experience. Okay? Sway along. C: I have Harbin sausages. (stick-shaped) LYN: Wow, amazing. C: A cat toy. LYN: Okay- I don't really care what type of "棒" (stick) you have, as long as you move along with me. This song is called "Fall in Love."
Fall in Love (remix)
LYN: How is it? C: He gave me a heart! LYN: Yes, I'm just that greasy.
C: Where are the people? LYN: You must be lagging.
LYN: This /gestures at DF/- yes, this is LYN. He's gotten fatter lately.
LYN: Hold on, let me make some adjustments. // We don't have such refined stage design like different angles or anything. I thought if I had the follow-effect it would bring the mood up. Right? It makes the room look much more lively. LYN: Let me introduce myself again. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. If you like us, then please subscribe. Thank you to everyone who has come to watch my stream today. LYN: It's our Carnation Music Festival... ! Oh- we didn't set the logo up. Hold on a second. I need to advertise this. - /making the logo/ LYN: Red looks festive. How about that? Isn't it fashionable? I think this design is worth 200RMB, what do you think? C: Looks tacky. LYN: Let me tell you the origin of the Carnation Music Festival. Why is it called that? One day we were singing and streaming and it just so happened to be Mother's Day; so we named the music festival "carnation", because that's the flower you gift to mothers. LYN: Is it too tacky? When something is tacky to an extreme it becomes fashion. // Let me see if I can change the font. Which font do you want? - /taking audience input and changing the font/ LYN: This isn't any better! C: What about yellow? LYN: Yellow isn't eye-catching. /changes it/ This isn't any better! It doesn't matter. Then, let's make it smaller. I'll put it on DF's face. Isn't it suitable? // Let me find somewhere to put it... C: You don't have an artist on your team? LYN: What team do I have? My "team" is just a small studio- it's only a few people. LYN: Let's just leave it somewhere it won't get in the way. (bottom right) Here is fine. Let's not worry about it anymore. LYN: It may look tacky, but it's what's at the core that counts.
LYN: Is there anyone watching who is studying graphic design? You can come to my company to work. Your job will be to make the Carnation Music Festival logo. C: How much is the salary? LYN: 30k(RMB) a month. But the probation period is five years. In those five years you'll spend it "learning." After five years, your benefits will be one month's worth of salary. C: The probation period is three years? LYN: No. Five years. Even worse. That's a black-hearted boss right there.
LYN: These few days- because everyone knows I was going to hold the festival- so I looked up songs that you all requested. There are some I always sing, but since you keep requesting them I figured we would try to reminisce back on those times. So now I have a bunch of songs I used to sing before. I even made lyrics sheets for today- how professional is that? LYN: These music stands- I bought them yesterday. I tried to buy them and couldn't find a single one in all of Hengdian. In the end we found an instrument store- you'd think a place that sells musical instruments has music stands, right? They didn't. So I asked them if they could sell me any second-hand. But the owner said, "If I sell these stands to you, what about my students??" I told him, "I don't care!" XD In the end we bought each for 50rmb. 150rmb for three. But the owner said, "I'll sell you two, and let you borrow the third. Return one to me and I'll return you 50rmb." Deal. So we bought these at the last minute and they're a little rough.
LYN: Let me introduce myself again, because there could be a lot of new friends here. You might have seen my drama, and I hope that through this stream you can get to know me better. People always ask why I am called "Modern Brothers" Liu Yuning. It's because we used to be a group- a small band, even though we weren't very famous. We were called the Modern Brothers, so I always say I am Modern Brothers' Liu Yuning. This is Modern Brothers' Da Fei. This is Modern Brothers' Ah Zuo. They are my keyboardist and guitarist- very cool. Now because most of the time I'm shooting dramas, so they are out of work. They're at home just idling.
C: Are there any benefits for new fans? LYN: You mean how if you buy an iQIYI membership for the first time you get a bit of a discount? Is that what you mean? Are there any benefits for new fans...? Yes. This next song is just for you. You don't have to think about the meaning behind this song. I am just forcefully saying that this is your gift. This next song is for all the new friends who have just "won" (learned about) LYN. If you haven't subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so.
男孩别哭
LYN: Okay. We've sung some faster songs, now let's move on to something more gentle. There were a lot of songs people really liked, but we never could find the accompaniment for them. But now I have my band, so now they can help me play the song. Now I can sing all the songs you want to hear and I want to sing. Don't worry- I have a lot of fun things planned. We were rehearsing until 5a! So I want to thank all of you who come to watch my stream on time. Thank you all.
C: I want to hear 赤. LYN: Ok. If I'm in a good condition, we'll try it. Don't rush.
C: Can you take th logo away? LYN: How much do you hate our Carnation Music Festival logo?? This is! The soul of our music festival. Without this logo, this whole thing would lost its strength/meaning. Don't hate it.
LYN: This next song is something a lot of you requested, and I did sing some of. But I didn't do a good job then, because the accompaniment was for a woman's key.
问风
LYN: I want to remind you again- if you're watching my stream it would be best to do so with headphones. We're all wearing earbuds, so what we hear is pretty much what you hear. If you're just playing through phone speakers it might lack a little.
C: There are no lyrics... LYN: You want to sing along with me? We don't really have the complete equipment. Because the accompaniment is live, so there are no lyrics. I'm sorry. But later there are some songs for which I will play a track and those WILL have lyrics. I can't turn the lyrics on. C: You can't remember the lyrics? LYN: ... LYN: There's nothing we can do, because the track is live.
C: I'm broadcasting it to my tv. LYN: Nice. If you're watching my stream and your equipment allows, watch with headphones. We want surround sound- Dolby sound effects.
C: The volume of the music is a little low. LYN: Are you serious? It's low? Is it because you're not wearing headphones? LYN: It probably is a little low. When we first started, the computer froze a bit. So now it's... It's not low? Ok! Try to wear headphones if you can, though. This stream is a little rougher because we didn't have a lot of time to test the equipment.
C: Ning-ge, do you have a lottery today? I want soybean oil. LYN: /sigh/ It's been so long since I streamed, and you bring that up? But thanks for mentioning it, because it IS a shame. I should have prepared some real benefits- gone to the market to buy ten jugs of soybean oil to raffle off. I'll admit it- that was my lack of oversight. I really should have made this stream full of benefits. The grand prize would be ten bottles of oil. Ten jugs. Bottles are a little small. LYN: Many of you may not know. If you check in to my Super Topic- it's called Modern Brothers- when you check in for 300 days you can win a jug of soybean oil. 1000 days and you can take away a bag of rice. We'll send it to your house. No eggs, though. Those things are too easily breakable. C: Ning-ge, I've checked in for more than 500 days now. LYN: Let us owe you. It's like this- one day if you see me on the street you can say, "Liu Yuning! Give me my soybean oil! You owe me soybean oil!!" How incredible would that be? You've chased stars to the extend that the stars now owe you. That's impressive. LYN: Our main theme is "owing each other".
C: Ning-ge, can you sit closer? I can't see. LYN: Send me your address, I'll go to your house. Send me your address, I'll grab a plane ticket. No matter where you are, I'll go to your house. I'll send the goods straight to your door. If you can't see me clearly, send my studio your address. I'll go to your house. I'll let you see me clearly.
LYN: The next song is another slow one. /to AZ & DF/ Is everything okay? I've been talking for five minutes, waiting for you. Did you forget the sound? It's okay. You can take your time to look for it. Based on my skills, I can hold out another five minutes for you. business abilities have degenerated so quickly. Let's leave him some face and allow this mistake today, alright? I won't dock his pay for this. We'll look for it together. LYN: /sighs/ ... /snores/ - /lets them figure it out while he preps more coffee/
C: Why don't they have chairs? LYN: I'm bullying them. No- they have chairs, look. I'll be standing later when I'm singing, too! I was planning on giving them chairs to sit on while I stood, but then I thought that if I were standing and they sitting, it would look like the didn't have anything to do with me. Look- Ah Zuo has a long seat he could sit on. I'm sitting now but later I'll also stand. It's all to make the mood. You think their legs aren't numb??
C: What are you drinking? LYN: Coffee. So I can maintain my levels of excitement. C: If you drink too much you'll need to use the restroom. LYN: At concerts they even give me five minutes to change outfits! You're really not planning on letting me stop?? It's like you're afraid. "Ning-ge, don't drink water or you'll need to use the restroom." I get five minutes to change my outfit during my concerts. This is just a small livestream.
LYN: Hold on, I'm not ready. YOU are, but I'm not. What key is it? LYN: See? I gave them time and now they're turning it around and rushing me. LYN: It's alright. I'm joking.
LYN: Isn't it amazing? This keyboard can even play the sound of a pipa. Our musicians are so professional~ It makes Da Fei look a lot more handsome. Play it again. I haven't heard enough.
落了白
LYN: Ok. Let's move straight into the next song. What did you think of it? It's a song I wanted to sing a long time ago and it's something you really like. So this time I asked them to make an accompaniment so I can sing it. Just listen for entertainment.
C: I don't dare go to the restroom. LYN: You can take your phone in there with you, okay? It doesn't matter. Don't think that if you take me into the restroom it would be an insult to me. I'm not afraid of being insulted, at the moment.
LYN: Anyway- this next song has unexpectedly become hot again. Wait- it's always been hot. Excuse me. But! You've heard my cover of it and thought it sounded nice, so... I'll use the Carnation Music Festival 3.0 to sing it again. It's a song I sang many years ago, but it seems like my audio has been circulating around the short video platforms. It's called 等我先说. - /AZ revs up/ LYN: /who just took a sip of coffee/ !! Wait a minute. Don't rush. Let me recover a bit. These two... once they're familiar with the song they're ready to go with it. 等我先说. It's a song I did a cover of before. - /warms up his voice/ LYN: My throat hurts a little.... /sigh/ Let's do it.
等我先说
LYN: It's been a long time since I sang this. But I was going through it when we were rehearsing and I found out I still remember how to sing it. So... we can use it to reminisce. I know that you've requested a lot of songs, but I can't sing them all. This one, I felt, was more meaningful. So I decided to sing this one.
LYN: The next one is called 乌兰巴托的夜 (Nights in UlaanBaatar). It'll be a little difficult for me, since my voice condition is not very stable. But I hope- you don't have to use your light sticks. For this song you can close your eyes, and listen quietly.
C: You even rehearsed? LYN: Of course! I wrapped at 12a, we came back to eat a little, and it wasn't until we rehearsed until 5a that I let them go. THEN I was removing my drama makeup and washing up. It was all for presenting to all of you a good condition and relatively more complete performance. It's my first time singing this song, so... you all can just listen for fun.
- /promptly drops his lyrics sheets/ LYN: Look at this- a 50RMB music stand is just basic. It doesn't even have a sheet clip. We need a bottle of water to hold the papers.
C: I'm lagging. LYN: Is it lagging? There's nothing I can do about it, since my stream today is a little more popular than usual. Many of you might be watching me in YNGS, and came to check out my stream. I want to thank everyone who is supporting YNGS and hope you continue to do so. Thank you. If you haven't subscribed to my weibo yet, you can do that too.
乌兰巴托的夜
LYN: The next song is 茶底世界. It's something you've always been requesting. I don't think I've sung this song since my debut. But it's also a very nice sounding song. I saw you requesting it again, so I decided I would sing this rock n' roll style song for you. - /warming up/ C: That scared me! LYN: Oh, did I scare you? Sorry.
茶底世界
LYN: Thank you. Oh- I suddenly thought of a song. 花房姑娘. We haven't sung it in a while. It's not in our song list, but it's okay. I just remembered that you liked when I sang it, before. LYN: /to DF/ Give me a key. Let's see if I can still sing it. - /tries to sing 恋语1910 instead/ LYN: No, that's not it right? - /gets the right one/ LYN: Ok. I can try it. Let's go. LYN: Hold on... I want to fake-play my guitar. I just want to make myself busy. - /the strap is not on, so he asks DF is he can squeeze it on there/ LYN: ? I think I have another strap there?? You can take it first, see if you can get it on.
C: Ka-ka. LYN: /grabs his kazoobie (kazobo??)/ Kaka will always be here. Kaka will never lose an opportunity to present itself. If I don't show it off, then I bought it for nothing. - /starts playing Offer (奉上) & Don't Dream of Cold (别梦寒) on it; then My Heart Will Go On/ LYN: I can play anything. It's unbeatable.
- /DF comes back/ LYN: Does it work? It's a little unstable? Ok. Even if this hundreds of dollars guitar gets smashed today, this stream would be worth it. LYN: For the sake of this stream- - /tries to put the guitar on but the strap is too short/ LYN: Can we make this longer? I'm too tall. - /makes it longer/ LYN: Now it's too long. Whatever. I'm fake playing anyway. LYN: ! Where's my phone? I need to look up the lyrics. LYN: I'm so busy. I feel like I'm going to die. But it's okay- every good performance comes with some sacrifice. C: You look pretty rock and roll. LYN: Do I? Great- that's the look we're going for. You don't have to think about what sound it's making- it's just for looks. Now, where should I put this (kaka)? /laughs/ As if I weren't busy enough! Should I hang it off my belt/pants? I'll just put it here (on the music stand). I can just grab it and start playing. Okay. LYN: You go first. ! Wait- my lyrics!! How do I make the screen stay on for longer??
花房姑娘
LYN: I almost busied myself to death. The main theme of my stream is to be busy and bustling. But it's alright. LYN: Do you like this type of mood, friends? If you do, we can... do another. LYN: How does 一块红布 go? // Hmm. I won't sing this one. Let's sing something gentle. We got a little hyped up, and we'll still be later but I want to be gentle and warm right now.
LYN: This next one is a song I really really like. And- /confirming the key/. Sometimes when I'm emo I'll listen to this song and it will make me happier. Or rather, it will make me even more emo. XD But I really like this song. C: What song? LYN: You'll know when I sing it. I'll have to sooner or later. I don't think we did this one well in rehearsal, so I've forgotten how it goes.
給你給我
C: I'm sleepy now. LYN: Then go to sleep! If you can't stay up, then go to sleep. Thank you. Friends, if you're sleepy, you can go. I'll never force you to stay. If you're sleepy you can go rest. If you're not, then keep me a little company while I stream. LYN: I was planning to sing this one next- 熬夜 (Stay Up All Night). But now you're telling me you're sleepy?! I was planning to sing this song next, but now I don't really want to. Will it seem like I'm forcing you? LYN: I'll let everyone rest. DF & AZ can go out and play. I'll sing Stay Up All Night for you. Hold on- let me find the track. ~ 我熬了一整 YEAH! (夜)~ LYN: Now it's a happy song. For all the friends who like to stay up at night. C: It's just past 6p and you're sleepy?? LYN: It's good- sleeping early is good for your health. // Young people nowadays... start getting sleepy at 6p? /smh/ Alright then. What are you doing in the morning?? Are you going to climb a mountain? Go jogging? If you really have such good habits, then it's okay.
熬夜
LYN: This song is called Stay Up All Night- its one of my singles, I guess. If you like it, you can go give it a listen. C: You really can stay up all night... LYN: Right?
LYN: Anyway, this stream is to thank everyone who might have come to know me through a drama. I'm very happy and honored to become your friend. Today is our very amazing Carnation Music Festival, version 3.0. I took a look the other day and the last one was in 2021! We took two years to get this even up and running again. What we're aiming for is... longevity. Since 2021 was so long ago. LYN: Our stream today is to give back to my family, all my good friends and fans, to the people who like LYN- or even if you don't like me, those of you who came to check me out. This stream is for you. I hope this stream lets you have a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. Okay?
LYN: This next song is a relaxing one- it's called 撞地球 (Earth Collision). There are some lyrics in it that I really like. ~ Sometimes I don't want to live anymore, but then I think that there are others more deserving of death. ~ LYN: I started liking this song just because of one lyric. I think the mentality of this song is really great. LYN: Oh, this song- am I worthy of picking up the guitar for this one? But is it really that rock? If it's not, then I won't hold it. As long as it's a little bit rock, I can hold it. But then, does this (kaka) go to waste? I can't use it, right? - /setting up/ LYN: You know- we make all these adjustments as an excuse to stall for time. Because I feel like we're running out of songs! So I need to rely on these tactics to stall. XD - /starts but then stops, bc he feels like he's singing too low of a key/ LYN: Sorry, friends. You got hyped up a little too early. We made a mistake. You've already started dancing, but then suddenly we stopped.
撞地球
LYN: Thank you. Oh hey- is my speaker all charged up? That speaker? Friends, let me go use the restroom. And then... do you want to sing DF? He doesn't want to. Then, Zuo-ge...? XD LYN: We'll do a 3 minute intermission and I'll play a video. We have all sorts of tips and tricks, here. How about this- Zuo-ge can solo a little. - /gets distracted by staff/ LYN: Wait a minute, hold on. I need to go to the bathroom. I need to pee, what am I holding on to this (the mic) for?? LYN: Let Zuo-ge, my guitarist, do a solo while I use the restroom. They were going to bring the speaker over to me!! I'll go and come back. Wait for me a sec. It's a straightforward stream today, I'm not going to give excuses.
LYN: Wait, friends- there are a couple customers down here who are fighting. They're throwing water bottles. I need to go take a look. // Oh? The lights reflecting on my glasses is so interesting. I look like a robot. :) // There are customers fighting off stage. Let me go take a look.
AZ Guitar Solo!
- /LYN comes back advertising for collecting old washing machines with his speaker/ LYN: Why is the sound so low?? - /tests it and there's feedback. LYN: 😨!/ LYN: Now the sound is too loud. Then- we'll also just use it as a prop. I won't turn it on. But my computer can imitate the sound. :)
LYN: ~ Walk on, walk by, but don't miss out. Everything here is 10yuan, friends. 10yuan.~ C: Are you 10 yuan, too? LYN: Wait a minute! Wait- let me take a breather. // Don't you all say that I am your "baby"? How can you take me home for just 10 dollars?? You all say that I am the most precious to you, but apparently "most precious" is only worth 10 dollars. /sigh/
开到荼蘼
動情祭
LYN: /is tired/ Let me... sit a while.
LYN: Once again I want to thank all of you who have come to watch my stream today. If it's your first time watching, please subscribe to my weibo, okay? Thank you, thank you. It's not shameful to follow me. Thank you. You can follow my small/lowly weibo. I'm just a... a small singer, who is trying out acting. I hope you can support me. LYN: Thank you!
C: Watching your stream makes the rice go down! LYN: Am I a savory dish? Am I shredded pork with garlic sauce (yu xiang rou si)?
LYN: Right now.. YNGS should have already been uploaded. It's 7p now. It should be up. I was planning to stream from 5-7p- a two hour music festival. Self-proclaimed music festival. I thought it would be enough time, but it looks like we've messed up the timing.
C: Watching you stream makes me do my homework faster. LYN: You're not just writing nonsense are you? You're watching my stream while doing your homework, and you end up writing down the lyrics to the songs I'm singing as the answers?? It's asking you- "what's the principle behind the atomic bomb?" and you write "Because... Offer. I'm willing to take a thousand difficulties and dangers on my soul."
LYN: Normally I'll stream at least once month. I used to stream a lot more but lately I haven't had the time so... if you really like to see me then you can subscribe to my weibo. Sincerely. That way when I stream next, it will notify you. LYN: I really want to thank everyone who is in my stream and spent such a long time with me. Really, thank you. I especially want to thank those of you who are watching me in YNGS and have now come to my stream. Thank you for your support. I'm very brave, and I'm also very strong (minded). Thanks for your support and I hope we continue to head the same direction.
LYN: I have one last song. It's one that I absolutely must sing. No matter how tired I am, I have to sing it.
奉上
LYN: Thank you! LYN: It's about time. Again, thanks to everyone who has spent the night with us in this stream. Of it's your first time watching the Modern Brothers you can subscribe to our weibo. I hope in the days to come we can meet again. Thanks for watching and participating by leaving me comments. Thank you to the fans who always protect me, and those of you who are watching the drama and protecting me there, too. I don't want to say too much. In any case, I am grateful for your support and protection. LYN: I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you, and I hope you enjoyed yourself. Let's meet again at the next music festival, friends! Good night everyone!
LYN: YNGS has new episodes out, now. Go watch the drama! Check in to iQIYI and search for YNGS. You can check out our drama. Thanks for your support. Bye bye!
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sioster · 1 year ago
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okay, we're gonna go a bit deeper now lol because for me, one of the most interesting points about spiderman's character has always been how they manage their hero life and their private life and how it affects them and the people around them.
first of all, wilbur still doesn't have an excuse for why he just disappeared for a month. in the end, he settles on a sort of half-truth, telling his family and his band that he was struggling to find his place in this world and that he didn't know how to reach out and talk about it with anyone.
in the months dream and wilbur are without each other, everyone notices the change. they're still them, wilbur bright and full of ideas, dream spontaneous and fun. but sometimes, when they think no one is watching, their smiles slip. a sad look flickers in their eyes. a somber expression settles on their faces.
no one knows what to do, especially because neither of them seems to want to share what's going on.
and then, all of a sudden, things change again.
somehow, wilbur's smile is even brighter than it was before his disappearance. somehow, dream's eyes twinkle again, the way they did almost two years ago when he was deep into "personal research".
not a single person around them can explain it.
and all the while, dream and wil are torn. because they know that their friends and family know that something's happening.
they want to tell them. every time wilbur just barely makes it to the beginning of a concert after another fight. every time dream is late for a meet-up with his friends because he was on a date with wil.
but the truth would put them in danger. sometimes, just tommy knowing already feels like too much.
because with great power comes great responsibility. and the two of them are responsible for the safety and well-being of their friends and family.
so they stay silent.
and your other points... wonderful commentary.
the last one struck something in me though. because yeah, it's torture for dream. not of the physical kind. but the emotional one.
seeing the person he loves getting hurt. seeing wil getting kicked and punched and stabbed and burned, again and again and again.
maybe, the villain doesn't know how to contact dream directly, so they just... broadcast wilbur's pain out to the world. and dream has to see wil's bloodied face, has to hear his gut-wrenching screams and sobs everywhere. at work. in karl's coffee shop. in his own home.
and he doesn't know how to stop it, because there are no demands, no threats.
the villain just likes knowing that both of them are suffering.
Aa h,, secrets, secrets, secrets...
I must say I'm interested in how the villain found out about the whole debacle. Not even the 'Spiderman multiplied I guees' bit, but the attachment.. I see 2 options: either the villain tried their luck at the possible connection or they go around kissing on roofs.
Wait, do they even keep it a secret that there's 2 of them? Or do they try keeping it low (maybe with the exception of Dream's dimension goblin)
Also!! Woah!! Streamer au!! But instead of streaming games it's Wil's agony that's being streamed. It all comes back again. Its actually a very cruel thing too though. Not only Dream is subjected to it, but the innocent and unknowing civilians too.
Edit: forgot to add, but I'm sure it's awfully hard for Dream to keep his identity and ties a secret when he sees the torture everywhere, especially in public
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hyuckmov · 2 years ago
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AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET TO LET ME KNOW ONCE YOU FINALLY GET TO GO... (doesn't even have to be in sk only... if you ever have a trip to wherever and feel like sharing it with me... PLEASE. im all ears(or eyes lmao)) you heard it right because those girls are really so sooooo. so. pretty. idk if i wanna be like them or HAVE them for myself instead. they're also really fashionable even if it's the simplest of clothes they can make it look so good yk what i mean? i'm starting to take it as an inspiration lmao i'm gonna have a wardrobe change NDHDHD and ykno when we were in the amusement park we were taking a rest these two cute kids passed by wearing a gown and all and they just... bowed like a real princess (like shouldn't we be doing that to them first at least NDHDHDH) THEY'RE SO FREAKING CUTE AND NICE GODDDD. (really lucky to have encountered such nice people there even if there were few rude ones but hey we wouldn't really survive there if we just let it get to us..) NGL IT IS DRAINING.... but you'd still think how much fun it is to be with your dear friends doing all the fun stuff. when you're in a different place with them it's really like you're suddenly having this new life :(((( i would so love to have that feeling again.
(several days later and i'm still bitter i wasn't there lmao) there sure are a lot who share their streams but yea it would be a much better experience if it's uninterrupted. BUUUUT you are also right it's kind of on the expensive side... although this one is encore so i really think it's going to be extra special aside from the fact that there's def going to be at least a couple new songs/perfs. SORRY I CAN'T EVEN BE MUCH OF HELP. IT'S NOT ME BUT I CAN'T EVEN DECIDE NDHDHDHDHJSUEUEH
I STOPPED subscribing (i couldn't choose one (mk, jm, jn, hc... yeah.............) so i just stopped altogether. that's adult life. even if you love what you're doing, if you're sick and tired that's it. that's why (REAL) worklife balance is super important. i wish you and your friend would have so much fun <3333 that'd be super nice.
i'm still in the middle of catching up with all the shows i missed and i'm already dreading this team lunch we're having tomorrow. 😫
OKKK i will definitely let u know if i end up going on the trip w/ my friends!! "idk if i wanna be like them or HAVE them for myself instead" WELCOME TO MY DILEMMA!! omg the fashion in kroea must be insane (but also i have a friend from there who says she really hates how everyone loves to follow fashion trends and like the LACK of individuality... did u notice that too...) i think the new life things is so true. i often think about what it means to be friends with people or even partners... and it all comes down to this openness to experiencing life together and having them by your side...wanting their point of view and craving their comfort...something sososo romantic and lovely about getting a taste of another life w them!!
omg no i get you. because every time i see a video from my friend who went to the concert i literally cannot watch it out of PAIN and regret. ITS SO HARD im sorry for being spiteful but CANCEL THE TOUR!!!! WHY IS HAECHAN JUST GETTING hotter and sexier and cuter I CANNOOOOOOT deal w this!!! i'll wait for the encore prices and see ;-; maybe i'll invite my friend who didnt go and we'll make it an EVENT!!!
omg... i lowkey ended up picking based on who would be the most active (didn't pick jaehyun bc he NEVER posts) work life balance is so important :( might pause on work for a little while and go back to trying to get my driver's license... I HOPE THE TEAM LUNCH WENT WELL!! ur so sweet everyone must LOVE talking to u as much as i do irl <3 ALSO WHAT SHOWS!! i've been getting to dr romantic 3 and im so HAPPYYYY i missed my surgeon shows
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rrxnjun · 2 years ago
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tbh i love when people tell me their fav artists/music cuz i feel like i just learn a lot about them or like get to know what they are like. and also i just love it when people say/throw in something that i wouldn't expect them to say it's just so fun!!! AND YES TOTALLY AGREE WITH IR TAKE UR MUSIC SHOULD MAKE U HAPPY!!! ahh i love jack manifold he is actually one of the coolest and funniest people out there his streams are just🤌 (okay cool might be a reach but.. /j)
idk my friend says she just skips a lot of parts from episodes with the ones she doesn't like but even if i like or obsess over a show i just can't get my self to finish it (me with the owl house rn;-;) so that method (?) just doesn't help me out😭😭 yeahhh i looked up what it was actually about after i sent the ask cuz i was curious and i didn't really remember hearing about the movie and then i kinda regretted the way i phrased my question🥲but i'm glad it wasn't that bad of a movie!! IM SO HAPPY U KNOW THEM!!! TRUE R5 STAN ISTG😌😌 red velvet is just such a great song i was so obsessed with ittttt but their music just slaps in general
ooo dammnnn slovak drama:oo but i might look up a translation for the song then cuz now im curious:o (and also thank u still for telling me about this song i vibed so hard to it while writing my essays) i feel like slovak arists like them have to be outthere somewhere they might just not be that well know or something but if there actually isn't at all i hope there will be soon!!!!!
YEAH IM SO SAD ABOUT IT☹️but i think it might be better cuz i just have too much school work rn to just go on a trip☹️☹️☹️ PRETTY BUILDINGS ARE THE BEST THERE IS SO MANY OF THEM IN BUDAPEST AND I TAKE A PIC RVERYTIME I SEE A PRETTY ONE ITS THE BEST EVER ITS NOT A WEIRD OBSESSION!!!! and i really hope i will be able to visit the city another time☹️☹️☹️
it won't really be easier until like the end of june so i just hope i survive;-; but thank u though 💞💓💕 and i hope u have a nice and lovely day as well!!!🥳💖💘
(also i saw that tell me who u ship me with post and i just want to say like many other people did that u and haechan would just be very powerful🫢🫢hoping for ur baekhyun concert date with him🫡) (liebestraum anon💕💓)
EXACTLY!!! music taste says so much about a person. and wild unexpected music tastes are so fun like i have a friend that listened to exclusively heavy metal but then played lucifer by shinee on aux and i was like um....what in the- also jack manifold is so dear to me i dont watch his streams but his existence in other ppls videos is always so comedic i love him
WHY WOULD U SKIP PARTS IN EPISODES WHATS EVEN THE POINT OF WATCHING THEN??? thats the same as forcing yourself to watching something 😭😭 if i hate something i just stop bc life is too short yknow what i mean. AND ITS OK u dont have to know abt it djdjdj but i get your concern 😶
AAA if u really want the translation i can translate for u 🥳 i think i looked up the translation for a friend before and wasnt pleased w it bc it didnt really fit the energy so im just gonna do it myself to give the lyrics justice AHAHA if youre interested ofc! glad it helped w essays 😌😌 i physically cant listen to music when writing essays bc then i cant focus so i applaud you HAHA and you are right there must be artists like that here but idk them:((( im gonna try looking for some to appreciate my home country more
I WANNA GO TO BUDAPEST I WAS TALKING ABT THIS W MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WERE MAKING PLANS FOR THE SUMMER‼‼ i said i wanna take a train there and just look around and shit she didnt seem convinced but im gonna do it anyway so feel free to be my tour guide we should meet up actually
awh i hope june comes fast for u!! i am chilling rn ((even tho i have 6 essays to write until the end of april) but then i have exams may-jun so i get the stress😩😩 im rooting for u mwah!!
IM SCREAMING. CRYNG. EVERYONE SHOULD STOP TELLING ME THEY SHIP ME W HYUCK BECAUSE I SIMPLY CANNOY DEAL. me @ hyuck: baekhyun concert date when?? or we can just make out in your room and listen to the bambi album instead i dont mind either-
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eochigam · 2 years ago
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Yeah I went(watched?) ryuichi granpa's online concert
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Burnt my 5635 yens and no regrets
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I'm not certain if I can upload captured images of streaming, so I might delete these if this makes a problem.
Anyway I have been sucked into my real life and have not heard anything about his news via insta or something (except the news that someone plagiarized his works...). So it was quite shocking that his cancer got worse in recent years. However, Sakamoto never disappoint us on his sounds—especially in playing the piano. The tension in his playing has loosened compared to his early recordings, but the resonance has much more deepened. While the trebles were tickling my ears, the basses waved (literally!) the atmosphere in my room, not to mention that of the studio. Sakamoto played the piano in the past days, but he now speaks with the piano, as if he proves his willpower against the outside world.
To speak about the setlist, honestly, playing the piano 20201212 was better. Despite of my likes, the improvisation on Little Buddha theme was just awesome. And Solitude, The Wuthering Heights, Opus. These were my best friends for writing graduation thesis. It was really fascinating to listen them as live playing. And seeing Sakamoto smiling, playing Tong Poo was much happier. He do loves his music and playing the piano.
After the concert, there was premiere listening of his 12th album. But sadly, I was too tired to listen to them and sleep...
Only thing that I want is his recovery now. Get well soon, granpa!
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chamaleonsoul · 2 years ago
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Now that the tour is over I feel like I can say I think you totally won this tour. Your show was the best. Biggest show on the tour. Calum in that suit with the mesh shirt. Ashton quite literally glowing like he had been blessed by some rock entity. Michael on his knees with that pink shirt. Luke with the mm&i suit. First live performance of mm&i. You got talk fast, beside you AND lover of mine. Calum calling everyone hot in Spanish. Also that clip of him throwing the bear. Amazing. I have a live stream of that show saved that i catch myself watching sometimes cuz it was just that good. That's all I wanted to say.
Anna, ,,,,,
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dude, I,
are you trying to make me cry. i'm about to.
and now i'm about to go on a ramble so bear with me.
*loud sigh* yeah, okay. Yes. I, of course, agree with you. and you bringing up this after just a couple of days ago i got terribly sentimental about it.... yeah. I think it was during the weekend while I was making breakfast when my brain went HEY *SLAP* remember this? And it was when the vocalist of the opening act (Bruses) was telling us how they got to the show, how 5sos were interested in having someone local, and how she was living in some small appartment just a few months ago, trying to make the music thing work, and now (so, the day of the show) they were playing to 18k people, and she couldn't believe it. And then everyone started chanting "sí se pudo" (there's no direct translation with the same meaning, but that would be smth like "you made it"), and it got pretty emotional, even when, i'm sure, many of us heard of them for the first time that same day. They gave a very good show, with an ode to the chorus of Helena by MCR at the end, which my emo ass appreciated a lot, thanked us for being a supportive crowd and then left us ready for 5sos.
Naturally, that got me thinking of the whole show and going through my ig post and all the shaky videos i took. And honestly u mentioning all these pivotal points of the show has me very
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because, yeah, Ash was glowing that night and i still can hear his voice crystal clear in my head, just like Luke's angelic vocals and Calum's accent while talking in spanish [insert multiple smiley crying emojis here]. And Talk Fast 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 it sounds so dramatic but if i had died without listening to talk fast live and in person at least once, i'd have haunted the earth forever. (But i won't have to!! bc i got to hear it🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) And the bear you mention, the funniest part is that it wasn't a bear, it's actually a Dr. Simi jsdjjssjsjhd Farmacias Similares is a pharmacy chain that has it's own 'pet', which is our dear Mr. Dr. Simi here:
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and it's become sort of a tradition over the last few years to bring these little guys to concerts, with different styles and costumes and throw them to bands during shows (it's happened with MCR, Gorillaz, Coldplay, etc). and i'm sure several got thrown at 5sos<3 jsjs
anyways, the show was incredible, the boys kill it in every way possible and even though we were all squished together in pit during the first half of the show, i'm sure everyone had the time of their lives. And when we were leaving the venue, someone started singing the chorus of yb and we all started singing along and honestly dude🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i fucking love human connection over music. I can't wait to see them live again.
I'll go cry a bit now, if you excuse me
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fwacchi · 2 years ago
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i wanted to talk a little about the last ask u answered, if that’s ok (in advance, i'm so sorry for the lengthy message!!) 

I GET ITTTT!! I SERIOUSLY RELATE. how u feel about ibrahim and how u kinda selfishly want him to continue streaming is something i feel so, so often for my oshis. but i wanted to thank you for that response to the ask (and the person who asked the ask too!! i feel like that helped me too), i already felt a little less alone in what i felt and also--- i kind of more properly understood my feelings about grads (?) 
like yeah, graduation is inevitable but we cant do any more than live in the moment and enjoy our oshi's (or other members u enjoy!) content as much as possible and feel happy while they're still here. (even if the pain is going to stick with us till our graves OTL gripping my blanket as i type) let's enjoy watching our fav vtubers' content for as long as possible and--- i'm not really sure how to properly express this thought but "turn your experience of watching them into something that can benefit you in the future"? like all the things you've learned from them and how they've helped u grow as a person, lets not forget it even after they leave (sorry for getting ahead of myself and saying things that don't make sense)
well that's all that i wish to say!! i'm sorry to trouble you
P.S. THIS IS TOTALLY UNRELATED BUT I JUST FELT LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT BC IM THINKING AB IT A LOT- consider it smth more lighthearted to distract from the heavy vibes ^^?  BRO I FOUND IT SO FUCKING FUNNY WHEN ROFMAO HAD THE WHOLE CONCERT, THEN AN INTERVIEW THEN THEY WERE LITERALLY DRAGGED AWAY BY THE ROFMAO (juku? Not sure) STAFF. LITERALLY BLINDFOLDED AND KIDNAPPED THEM, THOSE PEOPLE WERE ON A SCHEDULE !! (looking forward to tmrs rfm juku ig kwjdfksd) and on a completely different note, i found a clip of when kaida sang magnet in a guitar-karaoke (?) stream and let’s just say i was FLOORED- bro, custom ringtones don't seem to work on my phone but im setting it to this anyway. I want that clip injected directly into my veins, i- okok but all im saying is i love when he sang that with all my heart- 
I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LENGTHY MESSAGE!!!!! MAY YOUR NEXT MEALS BE DELICIOUS!! 
-🍰
this!!! exactly the things i couldn't put into words, especially about them helping us grow into a better person! thank you for saying this <3
Rofmao and their staffs are so chaotic and I'm here for it😭 KAIDA SINGING > ANYTHING ELSE. Period.
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ladyorlandodream · 3 years ago
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Agentha Fältskog interview - English translation
In September, Agnetha Fältskog of ABBA agreed to grant Swedish radio presenter Carolina Norén an interview for the classic Swedish chart show ”Svensktoppen” on Swedish Public Service radio. The interview was broadcast September 19.
Carolina Norén: ”Don't Shut Me Down” by ABBA – and with me on the phone I have Agnetha Fältskog. Hello, Agnetha!
Agnetha Fältskog: Hello, Carolina!
C: And, of course, congratulations to entering the top of the chart, Agnetha!
A: Wow, what a surprise! That was amazing, really fun.
C: Let's just say that I wasn't that surprised, and neither was the rest of the world. However, ABBA.s last number one here on Svensktoppen was actually ”Waterloo”, back in 1974!
A: Was it that long ago? Well, there you go. It was about time, then.
C: It was about time! Exactly.
A: I'd like to take the opportunity to tell you how happy, grateful and moved everyone in the group is by the enormous reception. It feels very nice and warm inside.
C: I'm thinking, the first time you received a call like this from ”Svensktoppen”, and I don't know if you remember this, Ulf Elfving was calling. It was in 1968, you were 17 years old and ”Jag var så kär” (I Was So in Love), had reached number three.
A: Yeah, it's been quite a few years, ha ha.
C: What has Svensktoppen meant to you over the years?
A: It means a great deal. We're so used to charts, and have enormous success in several countries, but ”Svensktoppen” – it's our native country and the audience we have back here, and it obviously means a lot. We're very moved by the reception everywhere. I remember that first interview with Ulf, I was very nervous, and almost couldn't believe that I'd entered Svensktoppen, it's something you don't forget. This was also an enormous surprise, because you can never really know how it will turn out. One is never sure that something is going to be successful, and one is glad when it happens.
C: I was actually thinking about that a bit: I know that you love spending time in the studio working, and so on, but was there any point while working on this new material where you started to feel doubt or fear: what if it doesn't work?
A: Yes, we said that in the beginning: a long time had passed since we recorded, and you can never be sure that the voice is going to hold up – was it going to sound old? However, we heard pretty immediately – from both Frida's voice and mine – that it sounded more or less as it did back then. However, you may have to make another kind of effort, and give more, or how to put it, of your ability to tell a story, to empathise with the song. I always used to do that, but it's a lot more now that one has lived an entire life. You put more emotion into it.
C: I was thinking, whose idea was it to do this – who was the driving force behind the comeback?.I mean out of you? From the fans' point of view, it's always been a given.
A: Yes ... Well, one thing lead to another, somehow. We felt that we wanted to do a few new songs for the avatar project that will open in May next year, in London. So we said ”let's do a few songs and see how they turn out, how it sounds. One thing led to another with a few more songs, and then Benny kind of said ”why not make an entire album?”. Yes, and that's how it happened, and since we enjoy working in the studio, it's fantastically fun to be able to create and such.
C: Yes, and you have said that it's sometimes easy to ”tempt” you into doing things if they sound like fun.
A: Yes, that's true.
C: So you weren't hard to convince, when it came to doing this?
A: No, I don't think any of us were. Not doing this. The avatar project, I had to give it a think, since it meant a lot of work, as it were, on stage. Because I'm not a stage personality in that respect, but I can convey more feelings in the songs.
CN: Indeed. The rumours around this comeback started back in 2018. We got to know the song titles, and it feels like these two songs that we have heard, have been underway for a while. Have you polished the songs over the years? What has happened since we first heard of them in 2018?
A: Well, we have been at it. At first we worked on the avatars throughout February...let's see, was it the year before last? No, it was last year. We had just finished working with that, when the Corona situation appeared. Then, after a while, we started recording these songs and it's continued like that.
C: When the songs were released a little over two weeks ago, fans gathered around the world simultaneously. Björn and Benny participated in the live stream and you and Frida were part of the edited program. Björn and Benny said that you were following the broadcast from a distance. How did it feel watching it?
A: It was actually enormous. I've been watching our fans a little, when they're listening to the songs, and they're actually crying. It's quite enormous what a reach it had all around across countries. It's almost hard to take it in, actually.
C: I was present at Gröna Lund (in Stockholm), where fans had been invited, and there were many fans from other countries. I can really attest that emotions were enormously strong. It was, you know, almost sacred. Just like you said, they cried and were deeply moved. One thing many of them said, at least the ones I talked to, was that they missed you – ”the girls”, they said: Agnetha and Annifrid.
A: Yes.
C: Do you know when you will get together next time?
A: I don't really dare to say. We're a bit older now, and have our minor ailments, ha ha. But we struggle on. But I don't dare to say, because it's a bit uncertain. At the moment we feel happy that we got this together, and let's hope everything goes well in London, at the premiere over there.
C: Right, in May next year. The avatars. Incredibly cool, actually.
A: Right.
C: You touched upon the thing about the voice, whether it would hold up. When you released your solo album in 2013, you mentioned in an interview that you'd had the same worry, and had taken singing lessons – which turned out to be one lesson. How was it this time, Agnetha? Did it end up being any singing lessons?
A: Haha. No, it didn't. One knows this, that it has to do with support from the stomach, that you shouldn't ruin...so it doesn't become too much for the throat. Instead, you find support in the belly, and it just fits so well, once you're in the studio. You just, ”wow, it holds up!”. One has different … I like to sit down when I sing. Frida usually stands up. It varies a lot, how you feel that you get the power.
C: You are the one doing the main vocals – at least most of them – on the single ”Don't Shut Me Down”. I should add that ”I Still Have Faith in You” is also in the chart, at number four.
A: Yes, how fun!
C: How does it work when you divide it between the two of you? Do you choose your favourites, or is it directed by the respecive voice registers? Do tell.
A: Yes. It's probably the guys who are in charge of that. We get some lyrics, get to listen a bit, and try a little. It's also happened that one has felt ”this one I'd like to do”. There are no fights about anything. We try it out, but it's usually the guys, I think, who already know who is supposed to sing what. We're also part of each others'... Even if one of us sings the solo verses, we're always join together for the choruses, for the most part.
A: You have also a background as a songwriter, and ran your solo career in the beginning. These days, Björn and Benny usually end up talking about the project. How much are you able to go in a change things, or feel ”that doesn't work, let's try this”.
A: Back in the day it happen pretty regularly, but these days it doesn't. I can come up with a lot of ideas: ”could we add some finesse at this point in the song?” I'm also pretty good at harmonies, but the guys handle most of it. We do as they say, and it turns out well.
C: Another thing when one talks about ABBA and ABBA's music, your songs have been quite associated with you as people over the years. The most obvious example may be ”The Winner Takes it All”, which is about divorce. How about today – what do the songs say about you as people, and artists today?
A: It's probably mostly in the lyrics, and you should probably let Björn answer. One can read one thing or another into composers', songwriters' or lyricists' work, and of course you add a bit of ”it's about him, or me”. But it's general, how to say, relationships. Because it's often about love.
C: The two most recent songs, maybe a little more general. Now that we are talking about love, I've go to ask you: you have said that you're are a romantic person, Agnetha.
A: Yes, I am.
C: And you like romantic music.Will there be more romance on the album? More love?
A: Haha! Well, it's very varied. I can't say much about it now, but it's very varied. I can tell you this much: if you like these two songs, you will probably like the entire album. I do think so.
C: Right. That's good. I feel I need to scratch the surface a little more. What we have heard is a timeless ABBA sound. Can one imagine that it will continue with that sound as well?
A: What do you mean, on the CD?
C: Yes, on the album.
A: Ah, yes. It's very much the ABBA sound. We're not trying to sound different or letting ourselves be affected by other, current things, so to speak. We're trying to keep ... It becomes what it becomes – and it becomes very ABBA when Frida and I get together in the studio. It's almost like a marriage between our voices, and almost hard to tell them apart at times.
C: Now, I know that a lot of people are looking forward to the concert in London in May next year. First, there's the album, in November. The one we were talking about. We mentioned the avatars. What went through your head the first time you heard of the idea?
A: Haha. Well, yes, none of us probably really knew what to expect, but we've worked with it a lot, so you grew into it, eventually. We stand there, doing these songs, with– I don't know how many cameras and people. And then, somehow, it was technologically transferred, in some way that we don't even understand, to other people that are going to be on stage as us – but it's still us, haha! I can't really explain it, it's so hard, but there's a lot of technology and lights involved. But it felt great to do in the end. Because it was so different. Also, there was a vibe, one felt that ”maybe it's the last thing we do”. Same thing with this album.
C: Ooh, you can't say that, ha ha! We want more!
A: You can cut that out.
C: Jonas and I will cut that out! Solo album in 2013. I can reveal to you, here and now, that in the summer of 213, ”Dance Your Pain Away” was the only thing I listened to.
A: I see! That's nice.
C: I know it inside out, but I won't sing it!
A: Yeah, that was cool, actually.
C: Is there anything in the pipeline solo – another solo album from you, Agnetha?
A: Not at the moment, no. I think, and I feel, that I've done a lot now. So I can't promise you that. We have got to find joy in what we have, and all that awaits.
CN: Indeed. May I also add that I was very happy when I heard that you would be with us and share. Because I've learned that you are somewhat restrictive when it comes to doing interviews. What do you think, are there further public appearance from you ahead?
A: Not really. But, as you say, I've never really retired that way, but I am restrictive, and I feel that a lot of things are being written, and have been written, about us. We agreed to do, and have done, so many interviews. There's a risk that you ruin it by talking too much. You want keep a little something to yourself. Something private.
C: Agnetha, we respect that, and we are very happy here at Svensktoppen, and, I would imagine, that the listeners who haven't perhaps fainted from the surprise, and have stayed with us, are happy that you could join us. Once again, huge, huge congratulations to topping the chart.
A: Thank you. I also want to send greetings from the rest of the group. I know that they are all very happy about this. It means a lot to us.
C: Wonderful. I hope we can talk again. I almost get shivers suddenly doing the presentation here. So I say: new number one: ABBA and ”Don't Shut Me Down”. Thank you very much, Agnetha.
A: Thanks so much to you, too!
English translation by Anders Lundquist
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mrsbarnes107 · 4 years ago
Text
Secret of the Widow
-part seven-
Summary: Post Endgame time period. The team is healing, trying to navigate this new normal they’ve found themselves in when Bucky and Sam bring home a stray with an attitude and a secret. Will the broken team take her in? Or is it too much to bare?
Warnings: language, *eventual* violence and smut, death, fluff, angst
Pairings: Bucky x OC
Disclaimer: this is posted to Wattpad as well and it WILL HAVE PLOT. I’m a Bucky hoe so there will be smut and romancy stuff but this is a series, so plot plot plot and slow burn.
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Something was blinding me and I was wrapped in a cocoon of warmth.
I cracked my eyes open, sunlight streaming in and effectively burning my retinas. A big yawn escaped as cat stretched across my bed, popping my joints deliciously.
Of course that's when I noticed that I was in my bed. The bed I was very much NOT IN last night.
I stumbled to the bathroom, throwing on some spandex shorts along the way. The mirror revealed a very distraught woman. Jeez I'm a mess. Puffy eyes, wild hair, pillow creases on my cheek. With a sigh I throw my hair into a bun and wash my face and teeth, staring down my reflection.
Where on earth did this ginormous hoodie come from? This thing is like a dress, I cant even see my shorts and I KNOW it's not mine.
The fact that i cried hard enough to pass out and NOT feel someone carry me to my room AND put a hoodie on me is very concerning. I need to reign in these emotions, no matter how hard it is being back in the tower.
I slip some fuzzy socks on and check the time. 6 am. Of course.
Making my way quietly down the hall I snuggle more into the cozy hoodie. It smells like musk, man, and crisp night air. This is mine now.
No one seems to be awake, so I decide to treat the team to an extravagant breakfast of waffles, bacon, and eggs. But first a very very large cup of coffee.
As the aroma of Heavens most beautiful creation fills the room I have FRIDAY shuffle my music, broadcasting it in the kitchen loud enough to dance around to but not wake the others.
Food is almost done when I'm in the middle of singing into the knife I grabbed to cut up some fruit.
"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND  YOURE TO BLAME" chop chop chop "YOU GIVE LOOOVE  A BAD NAME"
I toss the knife behind me and spin around to flip the bacon, catching it with a little twirl. "I play my part and you play your games oooh you give loveee"  I begin setting the food on serving trays "a bad name."
As I'm dancing around the kitchen, enjoying the peace of cooking in an empty space, flicking the knife in the air and twirling it in my hand, I hear the team start to get up and around.
"She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean" what a great way to start the day, bomb music and a dance party. "She was the best damn woman that I ever seen. She had sig-" as the knifes handle lands deftly in my palm, someone interrupts my concert.
"I feel like I should be serenading you right now Doll. Lookin like that, cookin food like this, definitely the best damn woman I've ever seen."
With a squeak I had launched the knife towards the voice, Bucky plucking it out of the air, right in-front of his amused blue eyes. He was leaning against the doorway, legs crossed and sleep rumpled hair. Apparently he's been there a while and apparently he was blessed with beauty no matter his state of dress.
"Barnes what the hell! Warn a girl, jeez." I put my hand over my heart to calm it while pouring a cup of coffee, walking it over to the super soldier. "And damn straight I'm the best. Glad you've noticed."
He follows me into the kitchen, leaning against the counter sipping his drink. "You're pretty skilled with this." I guess that was his warning as he catapulted the knife towards my stomach. Well I deserved that, I thought as I caught it while skipping a few songs.
"You'll come to learn I'm skilled in a few things." I say with a wink. "Although, I don't think anyone works a blade like you do Sarge."
I look up to find him staring at me with a weird expression before he shook his head and smirked. "Well Doll, I could always give you some pointers if you ever wanna train with me."
I'm jamming to Back in Black when the rest of the team walks in. Throwing Bucky a smile over my shoulder and a quick "your on, meet after breakfast?" He gives a nod and sits at the island beside the others.
This could be fun. Or a disaster. Definitely not a good idea. But a fun one for sure.
I'm still bouncing around to AC/DC when Sam scowls at me. Well he looks like a grumpy kitten in the mornings apparently.
"You are definitely Tony's creation." He grumbled, followed by a thank you, as they started scarfing down breakfast.
•••
"Hey Ali, why are you wearing Buckys hoodie?" Peter mumbled around a giant bite of waffle, food flying everywhere.
I paused for a second then continued pouring myself some more coffee, giving Barnes a quick glance that he avoided, deeply interested in his bacon apparently.
"Oh I forgot I was still wearing it, sorry Sarge." I said with a chuckle. "Couldn't sleep last night so I watched a movie and Barnes ended up joining me. I got cold and he was ever the century old gentleman."
That earned a scoff from the old man.
"We're still leaving at lunch right? I'm craving a taco from downtown." Wanda pipped up from across the island.
"Yeah that sounds great, I'm gonna get a quick workout in beforehand."
Peter glanced up from his waffle mountain "Do you think you could stop by the lab and help me out with something? When you're done shopping?"
I see Bucky staring at me in my peripheral, eyeing the smile I force onto my lips. That lab just can't get rid of me huh Tony. "Yeah of course, I'll let you know when I'm headed there."
With that I head back to my room and throw on some shoes and a tank top, leaving Buckys hoodie on my bed. I did say it was mine now anyways.
The gym is a large, two story area with many connected rooms. I went into the sparing room, with mats on the floors and a wall of punching bags. After stretching and putting on some music, I work on the power behind my punches, trying to land harder blows for someone larger than me.
Getting lost in the feel of fist biting leather I let myself drift into thought. I still don't know how to incorporate myself into the team. They were all very kind and grateful this morning, talking about their plans and letting me know they will be interrogating the two bombers from yesterday.
Am I being too open? I'm usually serious and more reserved unless I'm comfortable with someone like Nicky or Tony. It's just that I want them to see more than my serious, throat slashing side. The team is already gloomy enough, but I don't want them too think I'm not taking this seriously. Finding that line is hard when I don't know how receptive three of them even are to me at the moment.
Wanda, Buck, and Peter all seem fine, but the others are more hesitant.
I finish a set with a spinning roundhouse, sending the bag against the wall, just as one of my favorite songs comes on shuffle.
Being on your own for essentially twenty-two years gives you very little option for conversation. Besides the times I stayed with Tony, I was alone. As a kid my teachers were just that and Nicky was there when he could be, but all I really had was myself.
So music is my release. All I ever really had to let loose and feel lighter when on the road or cleaning up after a mission.
So I sing along while launching daggers into a sparring dummy from across the room.
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clumsyclifford · 4 years ago
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hm hi maybe i will officially ask you if you want to hurt me and write a therapy fic. i vote malum but. you do as— no you know what i'm me this is a malum prompt i'm sending you okay love you bye
hiya taylor i hope you realized when you asked for this that it would be angsty as fuck, so i really can’t apologize for uhh writing something angsty as fuck!! BUT with a hopeful ending because we know how i am
tw for suicide ideation, suicidal thoughts, depression
read it here on ao3
-
Michael is winded from the moment they walk onstage.
He’s been all smiles all day. Somewhere he’d heard that smiling was supposed to trigger some kind of happy brain chemical, a creepy fake-it-’til-you-make-it strategy. It has not worked. Michael is exhausted from the effort he’s put into looking like he’s okay. The smile has become a grimace, and he doesn’t have the energy to make it look more realistic. Cameras capture upturned lips and that’s enough to convince them he’s happy, which is the important thing. 
He doesn’t intend to watch those videos when they’re edited together. He can’t even bear to look in the mirror these days. The travesty of him that stares back out with dead eyes only makes him feel worse. At this point he’d doubted whether or not he could actually feel worse.
Standing in front of almost thirty thousand people, it turns out he can. Or at the very least he can feel equally bad in a different way. He’d been drowning before, but he’s choking now. Dying either way. 
If he died onstage, slain where he stood, what would his band do? What would the thousands of fans do? Maybe it would be a mercy. Michael’s a liability right now. He’s frozen in front of thousands of people at the fucking O2 Arena, for fuck’s sake. The band is supposed to be skyrocketing and Michael is a faulty engine, fuel that’s caught fire. If they keep him around they’ll catch fire too, and then they’ll all be free-falling, instead of just him. 
They’d hate him if he died onstage, though. Michael would hate himself too. At the O2, of all places, really? How much more of an attention whore can you be? Couldn’t have waited for a smaller venue to have a heart attack? Or maybe a hotel room? Someplace you could be alone?
Shit. Fuck. The loud cheering has wavered, and all three of his bandmates are giving him concerned looks. Michael fights for breath and finally — for better or for worse — manages to take in the oxygen he’d been missing. And then he forces yet another smile, for his bandmates — but he can’t look at them, can’t see the looks on their faces, not right now — and for the stadium. The sound of screaming doubles in intensity. Michael is already so tired, and they’ve only just started the show.
Luke yells something lead-singer-y and Michael’s hand shakes against the strings of his guitar until he starts playing, closing his eyes for a moment so muscle memory can take over. 
It’s too loud. One way or another, he’ll drown; his lungs aren’t working the way lungs are supposed to, and if they’re not filling with air they might as well fill with water.
Holy shit, he thinks, because he knows enough to know that these are Dangerous Thoughts. But he can’t deal with that right now because they have a show, and after the show he’s fully booked with Pretending He’s Fine from now until forever.
On the opposite side of the stage, Calum catches his eye, and Michael tries to infuse his hollow smile with warmth, sincerity, anything to make that worried expression melt away, but he’s not stupid enough to think it’s worked, even when Calum turns away. Although Calum does turn away, so maybe it means he knows Michael’s lying and just doesn’t care.
You’re in the middle of a show, you fucking idiot, says Michael’s evil subconscious. They’re not going to stop the show in the middle just because you look like you’re seconds from death. You always look like that. 
Right. Right. Michael’s done this to himself. Calum’s not crippled with concern, and he shouldn’t be; he’s Michael’s best friend, not his fucking therapist. Not that Michael has a therapist. Nor does he want one. No random stranger would give a fuck about his bullshit problems, and neither would a random stranger with a PhD.
Fuck. The crowd is getting louder. Is it possible for them to get louder? Or is that all in Michael’s head? Or is everything all in Michael’s head? Are the in-ears keeping the fans’ screams out, or Michael’s screams in? Fuck. Shit. Oxygen is being awfully unreliable today. It’s so loud. Michael closes his eyes again. He knows this song. He’s played this stupid fucking song a thousand times. He could play it in his sleep. He could play it in his casket. That might be what he’s doing right now.
Fuck.
-
Michael is in a constant game with himself, pushing his own limits just to see where he’ll snap. The way he sees it, it’s like exercising a muscle; wherever he breaks, he grows back stronger so he won’t break there again. At this point his threshold is high enough that when he’s feeling particularly masochistic — although when isn’t he — he really has to work for the breakdown. 
It’s a blessing and a curse to be able to handle this much. It means that even when everything is wrong, Michael doesn’t collapse. Which means that he can still play an entire concert at the O2 Arena without having a meltdown, but also that by the time he actually does break, his insides are charred from all the damage control that hasn’t quite succeeded in containing it. 
At least a hotel room is a better place for it than an arena stage.
He can feel it creeping up on him, and he knows it’ll be soon. It won’t take much. There’s already enough wrong as it is. The hotel room is too cold. It’d been nice for a little bit, immediately after the show when he’d been sweaty from the performance, but now it’s making him shiver.
He has sweatshirts, hoodies, blankets. But that would be cheating. Michael stays where he is, sitting at the chair by the window in the tank top he’d played in, staring outside at the sprawling mass of London with all its flickering lights. Sitting by the window is also definitely not helping the temperature situation, but Michael isn’t shying from the crash; he’s trying to induce it. 
Just then, Calum comes out of the bathroom, still towel-drying his hair, and Michael knows what’s next.
Sure enough: “Hey,” the same way one might talk to a baby animal, like if Calum talks too loud he’ll startle it. “You okay?”
Guess, Michael thinks, swallowing. Take a guess. What do you think? “Fine,” he says, because that’s his line. Calum won’t believe it, as well he shouldn’t, since Michael is lying.
“You don’t seem fine,” says Calum. His voice moves around behind Michael as he gets dressed in joggers and a hoodie. “I saw you when we went on to play tonight. You looked like you’d seen a ghost.” There’s a pause. “Like you were a ghost.”
Michael swallows again, and it’s more difficult this time. His eyes sting; his fingers twist anxiously around the hem of his shirt. “That’s a bit dramatic.”
“Well, you didn’t see yourself,” Calum says. 
“Was probably the lights.”
“Don’t be like that, Michael. It’s not like I think you’re okay. I know you’re pretending for the rest of the world, but you don’t have to pretend for me.”
Fuck.
This conversation is not going to be your breaking point, Michael thinks fiercely to himself. Calm down. He inhales raggedly, although it does nothing for his composure. He’s breathing around thorns only by telling himself that they’re roses, and all the while they shred the walls of his lungs, making it more difficult to cling to oxygen when he takes it in.
I’m not pretending, he wants to tell Calum, but he can’t. “Well, you don’t have to worry about me,” he returns. Fuck. His voice sounds shaky and the lights of London are swimming in his vision.
“I don’t worry because I have to,” Calum says. His voice is closer, but before Michael can figure out what he’s doing, he’s taken the seat across from Michael at the window, dropping a flannel into Michael’s lap. “I worry because I love you. You’re shivering.”
Is he? Michael hadn’t noticed. He looks down but he can’t see anything, but if he blinks then the tears will fall and Calum will notice and Michael will have to admit that maybe this is his breaking point and he doesn’t want it to be but he is cold and when he blinks even his eyes feel cold and he quickly looks back at the window and moves his hands on top of the flannel and Calum says, “At least put it on, it’s cold enough in here without wearing a tank top,” and Michael’s throat closes up because however much he can control himself around cameras and crew members and friends and fans, something about Calum makes him completely unravel.
Maybe it’s not that this is his breaking point. Maybe it’s just that this is a safe place to break.
(Maybe it’s a little bit of both.)
So he picks up the flannel and pulls it around his shoulders without putting his arms through the sleeves, and he sniffles and says, “Thanks,” voice all fucked up and wobbly.
“Yeah,” Calum says softly. “What’s on your mind?”
“I’m tired,” Michael whines, and that’s the last he manages before he’s crying like a little kid, tears streaming — it’s been so long since Michael’s cried and he’d forgotten that tears were this relentless, fresh new ones falling now matter how many times Michael tries to squeeze them away — and Calum moves like he’d just been waiting and pulls Michael into a hug, where Michael hides his face and tries to hold his breath because he’s going to die eventually and it will probably happen soon and Michael would at least like to die in Calum’s arms, while he has the chance. But the sobs wracking his body force him to inhale so that plan falls through almost immediately. Because Michael can’t even die right. Fuck.
“Oh, babe,” Calum murmurs. His arms are tight around Michael. “I’m sorry, love, honestly, I’m so sorry.”
Michael can’t stop crying or else he’d say why are you sorry? even though he knows this is more of a sympathetic platitude than anything. Calum does sound sorry but surely he knows it’s not his fault — that this is Michael, all Michael, Michael’s fucked up brain and fucked up self and total inability to get his shit together like everyone else. The more successful the band gets, the worse he feels, and he knows that’s not what’s supposed to happen and he feels even shittier that he’s not being fucking grateful for everything the band is giving him and all the opportunities he has thanks to this, and instead is so stuck in his own fucking head that he’s tallying the passing days like an apocalypse survivor, counting each one he lives through. Or possibly counting down until his death. 
The wrenching sobs slow to nothing. Calum doesn’t try to get Michael to talk, and that itself gets Michael to talk. The silence is worse, and Calum is here, and Calum is safe, and Calum loves Michael. 
“I am not okay,” he mumbles into Calum’s shoulder, which should be a given at this stage, but Calum only squeezes him a little tighter and doesn’t interrupt. “I know that’s a shock.” Calum hums. “I can’t explain why. I don’t know. I just know that this…isn’t how okay people feel.”
“Yeah,” Calum says quietly.
“I don’t know what to do,” Michael says helplessly. “I don’t — I don’t know. But I keep — like — the things I think, you don’t even…you don’t want to know. If you’re worried now, you definitely don’t want to know.”
“I am worried,” Calum says. “But you can tell me if it’ll make you feel better.”
“I don’t want to. It’s not your job to be my therapist.”
“I’m not trying to be your therapist, I’m trying to be your friend.”
“It won’t make me feel better. I’m not going to tell you,” Michael says, though that just means Calum will draw his own conclusions, which might be worse. Not that anything is worse than Michael’s actual thoughts. He adjusts his grip on Calum, tightening his hold. The flannel is falling from around his shoulders, but he doesn’t want to move to pull it up.
“That’s okay.”
“I hate this,” Michael whimpers. It hits him like a hurricane how true that is. “I don’t like this. I don’t want to not be okay. It’s not worth the effort.”
“I know,” Calum says, rubbing circles on Michael’s back.
None of them are okay, truthfully. That’s why Michael can cry on Calum’s shoulder; he knows Calum would cry on his. It’s possible he’s a little worse than the rest of them, but he’s not alone. There’s a twisted comfort in knowing that he doesn’t really have to explain himself to Calum.
“I’m sorry,” he says mournfully.
“Don’t be sorry, you’ve got no reason to be sorry.”
Michael nods, though he’s still sorry. But they won’t get anywhere if Michael’s always apologising. It’ll only serve to annoy Calum, and right now Calum is all Michael has. If the world got any bigger it would crush him, so he keeps it close; it’s only him and Calum and the chill emanating off the window and the flannel dragging against Michael’s back.
Later, when the world expands again, when Michael can bear it, when he’s expelled all the water out of his lungs and stuck plasters over the cracks in his facade to hold himself together, Calum will sit with him on the bed with his laptop open before them and type up a search for virtual therapy despite Michael’s half-hearted protests. Later, Michael will sort himself out a little, Calum by his side to pull him over gaps when Michael’s too much of a coward to step across. Later, much later, a Michael of the future will write about the Michael of the present like he’s a distant memory, using past-tense verbs to make the most tragic sentences into a success story. That Michael is okay, or at least more okay. 
“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I really think you’re going to be okay,” Calum whispers into his ear now, pressing a lingering kiss to the curve of his jaw. 
Which doesn’t make anything better in the long run, but certainly doesn’t hurt to hear right now. 
“Thank you,” this Michael sighs, as Calum tugs the flannel back up over Michael’s shoulders. 
“Of course,” Calum says lightly. “I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Present Michael can’t see past this moment, but as he takes his first deep breath in days, inhaling the familiar scent of Calum and warm from Calum’s embrace, he thinks that if the future were to hold more moments like this one, it might just be worth living through.
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daesungindistress · 4 years ago
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Now that you bring it up past anons, I don't think how I'll ever get over how everything went down. I found kpop through Bigbang right at the 10 year anniversary mark, and learned that I started out at the top. Learning how powerful Bigbang was all those years was euphoric. Buy then it was like watching the fall of an empire, and it's just been cataclysmic. Nothing but scandals a country's worth of immense hatred and a fandom civil war! I'm loyal beyond rationality, but good grief I want to experience good days as a vip for once, because from Last Dance era onward feels like I'm constantly burning 😭😭😭
Sorry I'm dramatic, but every experience is tainted and somebody needs to hit the refresh button QUICKLY
See, this is what happens when I reply to anons in a regular fashion -- you all start talking to each other through me. What do y’all think I am, a VIP conduit 😭
lol I’m just playing. And it’s better than y’all fighting through me, which is one of a few reasons why I’ve stopped responding to OT5 provocations here. But yeah... the fall of an empire... and what a fall it was. First there was SR and Burning Sun starting in late winter and ramping up in spring. When he left, a surprising number of people were sure it spelled the end for BB. Then another YG group lost a member (iKON) because of Burning Sun; Han Seo Hee, though I think we can all agree she’s a snake, claims the handling of Burning Sun and the whistleblower situation re: the chats emboldened her to speak up about her dealings with Hanbin. Of course, this brought her past with TOP from several years prior back to the public’s attention. Great. Then YG lost its founder to similar accusations as SR -- and soon after, its CEO. Then another BB member came under scrutiny, and at that point all I could do was hold my breath, wait out the gunfire, and hope for the best.
2019 was a fun year, huh? All this while fending off OT5s whose modus operandi is turning a blind eye.
Coincidentally, my favorite band ever, who’s been around exactly as long as BB, went independent in 2019 and spent the year working on a war-themed album, which, when completed, was also coincidentally scheduled to be released on the same day BB were set to play the first weekend at Coachella in April 2020 -- though with COVID lockdowns going into effect they were able to fast-track the release date and get their music to fans a week ahead of schedule. A perk of being independent, I guess.
Anyway, in June, around the time things were heating up again with YG and related parties, this group dropped a single called The Evening Hate. And there’s this part in the bridge that I thought summed up the situation surprisingly well:
like cinders it rains
we fall, we fall
an empire in flames
we crawl, we’re crawling out
It’s pretty heavy, so for those who aren’t into that sort of thing there’s a far softer and very pretty alternative version here.
Anyway, in terms of warfare, BB aren’t in the trenches anymore, so where are they? Hiding in the woods or something. Waiting for an opportune moment to reveal themselves and announce their presence again. As a reformed team of four, of course.
The thing is... when it comes to comeback stages, nothing beats Coachella. That was it for them, that was what they needed to pull them onto their feet and propel them back into, what... relevancy? Tragically, it’s gone down in history as a false start. Or really, no start at all. Our starting line keeps getting pushed back, pushed back, pushed back, our flower road walled off until another, kinder spring.
The world is still struggling with COVID, yes, and Korea in particular seems to have its hands full with a third wave that’s proving more severe than the first two. I follow a few kpop news accounts on Twitter and every day is filled with updates on this or that music show, pre-recording, online concert, etc involving a staff member who tested positive for COVID, and suddenly everything’s halted, production put on hold, and all the members of these idol groups are undergoing testing and self-isolating with their agencies announcing the results. Blackpink was supposed to stream an online concert at the end of this month, but unsurprisingly, that too has been postponed. In conclusion, this is no time for BB to attempt to be active. No time for their grand, long-awaited comeback. No time at all.
They will rise again, it’s just a question of when, where, and how.
we are fighting to survive
from the ashes we ignite
we live, we die
we fall, we rise
You know, I had a dream once that BB came back with an album called RESTART, but hey, REFRESH works too.
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damejanai · 4 years ago
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Dameraji
2020.12.02
S: Today...
K: Ou
S: I was at the same job as kaito kun before this, which was unusual
K: Mmm
S: This is a continuation from what we were talking about just now but...
K: Mmm
S: I went to rewatch Dame x Prince
K: Oh!
S: Well... that show was crazy in a good way
K: Totally unthinkable right
S: You know, totally, i wanted to watch some comedies, and, i don't really rewatch the ones i was casted in but totally you know... episode 1..Nareku, who is voiced by Kaito kun
K: Mmm
S: Started doing ad-libs all the way
K: Right?
S: Hngh! Hngh! Hngh! Aannn! uuun!
K: That's totally un actor-like
S: You just went ahead and did it right? *laughs*
K: Hahahaa
S: Nobody asked for...
K: Since he was moving so much, as an actor, that's totally a sign for me to do something right?
S: Totally.. well, i, you know, I hope you take my words seriously but, Nareku was so funny
K: Right?
S: Hahahhaha, so pure!!
K: Hahhaa, well it's not only me who created Nareku
S: Well well yes, it was totally, i want to do it again, with that team
K: Well but it won't have a second season, probably
S: Don't say that!
K: No but! those who have watched it would understand, the story had closure
S: That's true
K: The princes also matured. Amongst the comedy, the princes had growth
S: True...
K: Are we able to... return to that? Hahahahaa
S: I.....will i be able to do Ryuze?
K: ....Ehhh you can!
S: well.....nanodesu (high pitched)
K/S: HAHAHAHA
K: You did it!
~~~
Script: The streets are slowly beginning to look like Christmas eh?
K: Roppongi, or rather Keyakizaka? That area is totally..
S: *giggling*
K: Ah!!
S: Stop it! Stop it! I have recalled it!
K: I remember now!
S: For the details, please refer to... it's already in the archives? no?
K: But it was like from last year end, or the beginning of this year
S: Those who are able to listen please do...I too was... two men alone...what are you looking at? stop it stop it
K: It's still flashing...
S: Stop it! seriously... come on..
K: It was from then on right?
S: Stop it stop it, Recently you know... this is not good! like... i think this was my fault but... what was it about "from then on"
K: From then on, we began, right?
S: AHHHHH! WAhhhhh!! Ever since you started YouTube, you unlocked that kind of thing
K: AHahhahaa no no, what began was that I started driving Soma s-..... *giggle*
S: Hahahahahaa Oi! You don't have to do year-end tax adjustment for that too!
K: Oops, nothing's.. different
S: You know... I.... stop it? While doing Dameraji, the way we do radio has changed also?
K: Uh-huh
S: So, over there, when we spill our hearts out.. it has.. the buddy relationship has deep---*giggle*
K: I wonder why.... we... everyone has been saying that about us from the beginning..
S: Well well yeah
K: We being a pair, well regarding that, there was also a time when it was toned down...
S: There was, totally
K: Me especially
S: Well well, because of that, it became like, we should distance ourselves more.. right?
K: Stopped going for drinks, and stuff, well in times like these, more so, but it started even before this happened
S: Yes yes
K: I want to have a drink now! (together)
S: Me too, totally, shall we? Like before the year ends.. For Christmas?
K: Shall we? HAHAHA
S: Wahhhh, like, we are craving something
K: Craving.... no, we want to throw something away i think
S: Hahaha
K: This is bad, Okay! So the business talk shall end here
S: Hahahaha
-----
~Fanclub~
S: * Talking a bout how the space FC is 440yen per month*
K: Wait a minute, is that price okay for you?
S: We thought about it over and over
K: That's unacceptable! come on! That many services and that price... makes my membership quality seem lower
S: Don't cut in before i'm done with this email, geez
K: But anyway, your FC is finally starting
S: Until now, i've done one concert, so from now on, if i am going to have concerts, or release CDs, we'd like to give fanclub members priority, and we also wanted somewhere to communicate with fans, so decided on the name, "space".
It's the pace of S
K: Oh, "space" doesn't mean that there is a space in between huh
S: No no no, the name of the FC is "space". When I/we thought of it, i realised that it could have different meanings. Like Soma Saito's space, or a space for everyone, or outer space
K: Space right?
S: So decided on this name, it would be great if it is a space created by everyone
K: Nice~
S: But it is still in the works... we will be trying different things so the contents might be changing. I felt that this one song a day recommendation, is quite amazing
K: Yea it is amazing totally, what's recommend?
S: *giggles* Um, like a song a day depending on my mood, or a book, everyday
K: Are you serious?! Crazy
S: This is totally....Well to make it a place where you would want to visit everyday
K: Wow... amazing! amazing! Wait wait can you list out the services you're providing again
S: Mail magazine, one recommendation a day, one person radio with video, and also, bonuses
K: Well, and also you're going to think of new things from now
S: Yes
K:....... That overlaps with mine
S: Wwww well there's one email here too, Ishikawa kaito has started membership on his YouTube channel
.
.
.
.
K: And also actually I also have an FC ahahaha
S: Who would have thought, this is a coincidence right
K: Well you know, when i saw the news that Soma san was going to launch his fanclub, i was actually already in midst of creating mine but, i panicked, and panicked, i thought, oh no!
S: Hahahahaa
K: And posted a video quickly
S: So, like i've heard alot about how Kaito kun was going to have membership on his channel, right?
K: Umm
S: Then i said, ooh this would be good too right... and stuff, while behind the scenes, i was actually planning my FC
K: And also like, you know our services overlap too
S: Hahahaa, what will you be doing?
K: I will be holding live streams every month for members, well probably it'll be like 2-3 times per month
S: Amazing!
K: Livestreams where i just talk casually. And on YouTube "community", i will be writing stuff that happened, like a blog, and also after events or event streamings, i have done some already, i would quickly film my reflections/comments on the events and just upload them
S: Ahhh i guess well you have the chance to talk about those on radio sometimes but everyone would be interested to listen to Kaito kun's feelings about your events right?
K: Yes yes, so i thought, "recommendations huh?"
S: Well well well, that would be a total rip-off wouldn't it
K: Everyday...
S: But for me, it's contradicting but, i have a lot of jobs where i have to write now, but, i'm a poor writer
K: Ooooh
S: Like, i feel that it is hard to write
K: Well because you have too many options
S: Don't know if it's that but, i was thinking about whether i would be able to continue my blog properly. Well but if people were to be paying for the fanclub and the writings are not that good, that wouldn't be ideal so i thought, maybe i could recommend something different everyday
K: I'm so afraid now hahahaa
S: Ishikawa san's membership, is it a monthly payment?
K: Yes.. i wonder how much it was but, i made it really cheap
S: Ahhh
K: I searched up the services and prices of the memberships of other YouTubers, and made mine around the middle quality type of services, and the price low. I am not doing music as well, so the videos i upload might not be viewed as "highly priced" and that would feel horrible so
S: Ahhh, true...
K: And I manage the YouTube myself so, when i have guests over, i might need, outfits and stuff
S: Uh huh..
K: Or certain equipment.. like if we were to be playing games together, I would need to buy the game so... the membership fees would go to that
S: Wow... that's awesome~~ When... shall i go?
K: So, what shall we do?
S: Wwwwww what kind of ... what kind of reaction is that?
K: I thought of asking Soma san on the channel, well we did one story reading before
S: Yes
K: So i do want you to come but, i can't think of anything to do!
S: Come on come on, you're saying that there's nothing to do, in front of me?
K: Coz, we could just do it here
S: Ahh, we should differentiate it from this, things we can do that are not done on Dameraji
K: Yes, if it's the both of us, it'll inevitably be this
S: Hahhaaa, i wonder what...?
K: What, reminisce about "Zankyou no Terror"?
S: wwwww
K: Hahahhaa
S: "AAHHHHHH!! Remember, us" ah that's nine's line
K: Why are you snatching away my line
S: I was already shot before that
K/S: AHHHHHHH
S: Dun dun dun, dun dundun!
K: Ahhh cries~ cries~, Those who have not watched "Zankyou no terror," please do!
S: And well i really want to go on your channel, and i've already told my agency about this
K: Really? Ahh but your manager was nodding just now
S: Yes so it's safe to say that, it's approved already
K: Oooooh, ok so next i'll think about, what we are going to be doing
S: Shoudn't it be opposte?
K: Yess
S: Let's discuss then
K: Let's discuss, we have an expert here too
S: Won't that be Dameraji then!
----
~Dameraji photo studio~
Topic: Take a photo where the two photos would look like they're part of one photo
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nutellarchives · 3 years ago
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First month of 2022 Update! (January)
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We're in 19 out of 365 pages and I'd say its not the best so far but It's just the start of the year, there are tons of opportunities for improvement! Anyway it's been only a month but I had done a lot, since start of a new semester is around the corner, I am trying to do stuff that I want to. Keep reading to know more~
Before I begin, just wanna say that this update is a bit earlier than usual.. because my semester begins in about a week and I might not be able to post something since busy already so here we go~
My First Concert of 2022
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In the beginning of the year, me and my friend had our very first NCT 127 concert virtually. The third day (and last day) of NCT 127. NEO CITY: SEOUL THE LINK was held both online and offline and it was streamed so we tuned into it and watched the performances of NCT as a whole and their solo stages. It's actually fun watching their concert, especially I only watch the concerts of my ultimate groups, so it's a weird but wonderful feeling for me. It's also been almost 2 years since offline concerts were canceled so seeing NCT perform in front of a crowd feels new. My favorite solo stages were Jaehyun's, Jungwoo's and Taeyongs. Taeyong's stage is catchy and has that cool vibe, Jungwoo's stage made me fall in love with his dancing and stage presence and finally Jaehyun's stage which had so much emotions flowing which is the most striking. I'd say Yuta's and Johnny's are also the notable solo stages. Overall, the 3-hr concert is so fun and memorable, I hope in the future I'll be able to watch again my ult group's concerts and of course NCT's concert.
Planet Nine: Voyager
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So after some hard thinking, I decided to also stan ONEWE after stanning (and making them my ult) ONEUS, which is their bro group. I'd say I am happy with that decision and I've been craving for more of their songs. Finally, its this month where their new album drops. It is their first comeback for me as a baby WEVE (onewe fandom name) and that means its a special comeback. Listening to their past releases (in 2021), I expected the title track Universe_, to have a similar vibe to Rain to Be (Planet Nine: Alter Ego) but the former is a song that a person would listen when they want to heal themselves. It's such a calm and soothing song. As expected the title track is composed by one of the members which is Yonghoon. His past works were A book in Memory, Reminisce About All, Q and many more. All the members contributed to this album, where individually they took the time to write and compose. All of the songs are good and emotions are felt when listening to the songs. My favorite tracks are Envision_, Montage_, and Orbit_. If I were given a chance, I would go to a ONEWE concert and listen to all of these live. It would be such a good experience, whilst listening to them perform live I feel like I'm traversing into the galaxy.
Anyway my only wish for this K-band is more recognition (though yeah I slept on them for a while but now I finally am awake and ready to give the love they deserve) and more activities.. please RBVV, I've noticed that they don't promote that often and their activities are not that many so instead of overworking ONEUS, give ONEWE a chance. Please listen to Planet Nine: Voyager and also to ONEWE's past albums!
Back to Journaling
Okay I don't have an image for this one since I haven't taken a pic of my spreads . Anyway after a year I finally do journal spreads again! I started journaling in 2019 and during the first phase of the pandemic, I was just journaling since I am bored at home. Last year though I stopped since I don't have the time and this year I wanted to get back for I wanted to write down memories and thoughts that I had and go back and review them in the future. Keeping a journal during trying times can help ease the mind and help understand oneself. It can also relieve emotional pain and can contribute in healing. One fact that I always complain about is physical journaling is expensive, though I have the option to stick with a simple one, I like journal spreads that have stickers and washi tapes on them. But in journaling, it doesn't matter if the spreads are elegant-looking since its packed with stickers and washi tapes, what matters is the content and the ability to express oneself by writing on a paper. One of my goal this year is to be able to finish and treasure a journal. So that I would be able to go back to my experiences, learn from them and grow.
Re watched Tale of the Nine Tailed
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*this is not a spoiler free reaction so feel free to skip this part if you haven't watched this drama*
I watched this drama the first time in 2021 and I really love the cultural reference and beliefs that were touched in the drama. Re watching this the second time, I was just so annoyed by the romance in this drama... realistically speaking. I really love the chemistry of the Lee Brothers and all of the characters that care for Lee Yeon but I just can't get over how Lee Yeon simped hard for Jia. The romance was okay the first time I watched it but rewatching it's just too painful. Anyway what I appreciate the most is Rang's character development and how he redeemed himself in the end though it's a bittersweet ending since we get to see a character go but he got reincarnated in the end so I guess it's fine.
It is rumored though that there will be a second and third season for this drama and I am excited for that! Especially the second season where it is focused on the Japanese Colonial Period and hopefully it will show more action and Lee Brothers interaction.
Finally, A Xiao Haver!
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So finally, after months of waiting, I finally have the Yaksha! I got him around 79 pulls and I was so happy that I am guaranteed. During Baal's banner I got her twice, first in 70+ pulls then the next copy appeared in less than 10 pulls so I was a bit down since I am not guaranteed 100% but during Hu Tao's rerun, I pulled for Thoma and there I got Jean and that made me Xiao guaranteed. I am so happy that I can finally put Xiao and Hu Tao at the same party (One of my favorite genshin ships is HuXiao so yeah) and do that plunging during Ult. Currently I am enjoying Xiao and his playstyle and everything is worth it. Now.. I have to save a ton for Yae Miko and Ayato.. Pain. F2PBTW (and crying inside).
For the Second time, Dr. Richter What are you Doing here?
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So.. I was happy with my Genshin pulls but what happened to my Themis pulls?. So this happened twice. The first time is during the Lost Gold event, I am aiming for Artem's card (as always) and the way the banner works is there are 4 men and in one banner there are 2 so it's a 50/50 chance. During Lost Gold its a rotation where in Day 1 its Vyn and Marius and Day 2 its Luke and Artem and Day 3 its Luke and Vyn etc. And during the Lost Gold Event, I pulled on the banner where Luke and Artem are featured.. meaning their rate up is higher compared to the other 2. So I tried my luck and I got one SSR... but It was Vyn who came home.. instead of Luke or Artem. I was like okay since I've never had a Vyn SSR card before so it's not that big of a deal. Now its deja vu, since I got another Vyn SSR Card during Luke and Artem's rate up. It's kinda sad because I always aim for Artem and not getting him. I hope the numbers and rates and promotions are true because I keep on getting cards that are not even their rate up. I hope Mihoyo at least fix this T.T It's painful for a F2P player here.. I just want to collect the cards of my Artie :<
Finished Hometown Cha Cha Cha
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This is officially my first K-Drama of the year and one word to describe it? Wholesome. At the beginning of the drama, I was smiling like an idiot the whole time. It's a light drama that you would want to watch when you want something to pass the time or something that would make your day. I like how this drama is so realistic, did not only focused on the 2 main characters and also gave the other characters in Gongjin to get known (their personalities and personal stories) by the viewers. It also deals with themes like appreciating other people's effort, the importance of being a good children to their parents, maintaining relationships with other people, giving second chances, the ability to open up and trust people and to recover from trauma and guilt and forgiving oneself. I also enjoyed the chemistry of Seonho and Min a in this drama, where its not forced and its cute (though I cringed sometimes because of how bitter I am to relationships xD). This might be one of my comfort dramas since it's just chill and simple. Out of 5 I would give it a 4, for it's not boring and there are realizations that can be learned by only watching this drama.
Movies of the Month
Okay, so I did a Choi Wooshik Movie Marathon with these 2 films.. because I am currently watching his K-drama (Our Beloved Summer) and it's on-going so I had to take it easy and wait for it to be completed so I can finish, therefore watched some movies where he starred.
The Witch: Part 1. The Subversion
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Surprisingly, I find this movie interesting. Though I only watched it because Da mi and Woo shik are here (and as I have said I am currently watching the K-drama where they are lead roles) and instead of fixing their relationship and rekindling their love.. its them trying to kill each other lol. What I find very interesting in this movie is the plot, how the main character did her thing and ta-da a lil plot twist. I also like the action scenes for this movie, though I hate the gore since it feels painful (by how it looks). I won't spoil much about this movie because watching it blindly makes it interesting but one thing is that I would definitely watch the 2nd part of this movie if it comes out, since the ending is open-ended and there are still questions that are left unanswered. Out of 5, I would give it a 3.5. It's not fast-paced and the plot is not laid in a mystery type of showing which makes it less engaging but the plot is interesting enough to make it engaging. I am also impressed with Da mi and Woo shik's acting and them provoking each other. The plot twist though is not shocking but it did made things interesting, where it gave a direction to the story.
Parasite
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This movie, I am still not sure if I like it or not since I haven't figured it out especially the ending. Though it's not a bad movie, there is clearly a metaphor or hidden message present in it and that is what I wanted to understand. This movie can be interpreted depending on the view of the audience and one thing that stood out to me is how they showcase poverty and the unfortunate events that happened due to them being poor. At first I was amaze at how good they are at being con-artists and how easily the rich mother was persuaded and she trusted and agreed to every suggestion they give. I dodged this movie for the longest time since I don't really know what to expect but here I am, giving out my thoughts on it. As for the rating, I'd give it a 3 out of 5. That might change depending on how I'll be able to perceive the reviews and explanation that I'll be able to find. It's a heavy and meaningful movie and I would recommend it to anyone that wants to watch something that deals with social class issues.
As always, Congratulations for reaching the end of this very long read. I hope you enjoyed~
January Playlist!
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Reminisce About All - ONEWE
Dreams Come True - Aespa
Airplane - ONEUS
Catch the Stars - woo!ah!
Home - Janet Suhh
That's it for the January 2022 update! Thank you for passing by~
- ella
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j10kkuno · 3 years ago
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Big(Ish?) day in GTA today(Of course I work :( )! Yuno and X has their terrorism court case today! I don't think I ever posted about it but yeah. Yuno is alledgedly an accomplice to terrorism. It's because he was in the heli with X while X was throwing grenades at MRPD. And you know Yuno, he thinks it's funny that he didn't really do anything but has terrorism on his record.
However, he's on trial for up to 15 years(Years=IRL days). His lawyer thinks he has a good case so it's doubtful he'll get anywhere close to 15 years. However, if he does, he'll just make a new character(Ramee's also on bail and if he's caught doing crime he'll be in jail until his TBD trial date and Ramee said he'd just play cop and during Valo last night Sykkuno asked if he'd FTO him on his new character(Which Ramee said yes, of course.)) So possibly new character?
Rae and Leslie are going to be on too!!! Rae is going to be on Ray Mond and Leslie is doing a 12 hour GTA stream-cop on public/then April, after . It'll be nice to have the girls back together. Rae and Ramee had a really good conversation about GTA and anxiety during a duo Valo game(He suggested she try no facecam which I could see working).
And! Wuchella. Concerts, I guess. New music from Wuchang artists.
Also I think CB and friends will have a second chance at a S+ boost that blew up last night but I didn't watch. It's the same car X owns IRL so that's cool.
So the court trial is at 7pm PST and Wuchella is at 7:30. I get off at 7 PST(9 my time) and need to grocery shop a bit and shower when I get home but I can listen to the trial.
Also I'm really enjoying the Tony podcast with Shotz(Vinny) on Tony's channel. I didn't know they were so close but they are??? It's really good conversation and they have a good past and like they said. They talked about how little things took them to their gangs they're in now and it was very sweet.
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