#yeah I'm a hozier fan how did you know?

[agu-doodles]

There's something tragic about you Something so magic about you Don't you agree? There's something lonesome about you Something so wholesome about you Get closer to me

[bonesbonesbones69]

A HARROW THE NINTH FANMIX

I know I’ve put out a number of fan mixes at this point but this is my favorite one.

Track list:

New York (St. Vincent)

Moderation (Florence + The Machine)

Heavy Cross (Gossip)

How To Be Eaten By A Woman (The Glitch Mob)

Ballad of the Thin Man (Bob Dylan)

Spent Gladiator 2 (The Mountain Goats)

Foreign Object (The Mountain Goats)

Drive It Like You Stole It (Glitch Mob)

Cosmic Love (Florence + The Machine)

Francesca (Hozier)

Wear Black (The Mountain Goats)

I'm about to get VERBOSE under the cut, join me if you want a deep dive on why I chose these songs. Or just listen to the playlist and draw your own conclusions :)

NEW YORK (St. Vincent)

You know how Gideon's death kind of haunts the entire 'Harrow the Ninth' narrative, because you can't stop thinking about it even though Harrow doesn't remember it and the book isn't mentioning it? But it's so present, the negative space in the story creating a very clear Gideon-shaped outline?

This song is first to set the tone for the playlist in the same way. It's a good song about grieving someone who fit with you in a way nobody else did or ever could.

It's about the bits that go:

you're the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me /can stand me /forgives me

It makes me a little crazy. Especially the forgiveness bit. Kind of brings forward the depth of what Harrow lost when Gideon died.

MODERATION (Florence and the Machine)

Like a fine wine, this song pairs excellently with thinking about harrow giving herself a lobotomy.

Want me to love you in moderation? Do I look moderate to you?

I've never heard of anyone loving someone LESS moderately than harrow when she carved up her own brain about a girl. Someone said in a tumblr post somewhere that 'most people just get breakup bangs'. YEAH THEY DO. but that's our mistake for thinking harrow was going to do anything other than the most insane possible thing.

This song is ominous and heavy, evokes religion and fear, the concept of love used as a threat.

It's perfect.

Actually let's talk real quick about the religion part. This isn't going to be hugely cohesive but it's important to me and I think you'll get what I'm going for:

The lines:

Bow your head in the house of God Little girl, who do you think you are

Can be read like the narrative voice is taking on the persona of God, loving in the powerful and unknowable way God might love. Loving in a way you have no say over. Interpreting Harrow's actions with this lens is like a fucked up mirror, consider: Gideon spent her childhood beaten down by a heavily religious society, the figurehead of which was Harrow herself, beating Gideon down sometimes literally but more importantly, figuratively. Now Harrow continues the role of religiously executing power over Gideon's experience, this time with absolutely ferocious love.

Also LAST THING I PROMISE but there's a quiet vein of self-hatred in this song, lurking just behind all of it. A real judgement of the self for having this power and impulse.

So it's perfect.

HEAVY CROSS (Gossip)

Actually you know what lets have MORE songs about harrow's lobotomy. It's a rich vein.

Most of the songs on this playlist make me a little crazy, and this is absolutely one of them. The manic, dangerous, committed tone (and religious undertones) continues from moderation to heavy cross - but what heavy cross brings to the table is the CHOICE.

We can play it safe, or play it cool Follow the leader or make up all the rules Whatever you want, the choice is yours So choose I checked you If it's already been done, undo it

THE CHOICE

And also, oh my god, "it's already been done, undo it". This song made the cut just for that line, and over time I just liked it more and more on here.

I'm skipping over saying a lot of the obvious stuff as I talk about these songs - assuming you're already connecting "whatever you want, the choice is yours, so choose" to harrow making the choice to stop the lyctoral process. And choosing to undo what's already been done. Right? Are we both there already? Cool just making sure.

HOW TO BE EATEN BY A WOMAN (The Glitch Mob)

I'm not done with songs about harrow's lobotomy yet. But this one's a little about Gideon

Ok also I feel the need to say - YES I did put a six minute electronic instrumental in a fanmix, but give it a chance!! It's evocative.

I went to the glitch mob specifically when I was putting this playlist together because I wanted music that felt confusing and dark and bad (the good kind of bad, in the way music can be). Something to mirror the way it felt to read harrow the ninth.

And then I saw there was a song titled 'how to be eaten by a woman' and I added it to the playlist without even listening to it first. And then I listened to it 50 times and now it's going to be on my Spotify top 100 I just know it.

Anyways this one stayed in the playlist as an homage to the confusing and inarticulate things that happened to Gideon and Harrow, as Gideon both was and was not quite eaten by a woman.

BALLAD OF A THIN MAN (Bob Dylan)

Ballad of a thin man is my all time favorite Bob Dylan song and it is exactly the same amount of stupidly ominously confusing as the events of harrow the ninth.

Now could I go on and on about this song?

Yes, and I will.

I’ve never found a source concretely sharing what the fuck this song is actually about. To me, it’s about being confused, outside, and alone. To Wikipedia and opinionated blogs it’s about the mainstream man encountering counter-culture, maybe queer culture. Sometimes theorists think it's about sex but there's not really enough evidence to say concretely.

In the context of this fanmix it’s about not knowing what the fuck is going on because you forgot you gave yourself a lobotomy.

Also frankly sometimes the way this whole series is written feels like one of the interactions described in this song:

You raise up your head and you ask, ‘is this where it is?’ And somebody points to you and says, ‘it’s his.’ And you say, ‘what’s mine?’ And somebody else says, ‘well, what is?’ And you say ‘oh my god, am I here all alone?’

I mean what the fuck is that about??

Like you're trying to have a conversation, but the person you're talking to is clearly having a completely different conversation and is not interested in explaining themselves one bit. Which is something that's happened many times in Harrow the Ninth.

And I mean - the REFRAIN -

You know something's happening here But you don't know what it is Do you, Mr. Jones.

I love that the song speaks directly at Mr. Jones, that he's a specifically named man rather than a general figure.

It makes the tone of the song so cruel and damning - you, Mr. Jones, are dumb as fuck and alone. You think you're smart, you're used to being smart and knowing what's happening, but you don't anymore. You're a lost idiot now. And nobody is going to help you.

Harrow is Mr. Jones that's what I'm saying. Do you get it. Do you agree. She's Mr. Jones.

SPENT GLADIATOR 2 (The Mountain Goats)

This is the title track because nothing else sums up the wretchedness of harrows existence on the mithraeum like this does:

Stay in the game. Just try to play through the pain Like a fighter who’s been told it’s finally time for him to quit Show up in shining colors and then stand there and get hit

I barely know what else to say about it.

The next song in this playlist is also a mountain goats song. As a best practice I think it’s a little gauche to put two songs by one artist back to back on a playlist, but these two absolutely HAVE to be back to back.

The reason is the joy I feel coming out of this song, and hearing the first couple notes of the next song, and thinking… yeah, it’s time to go fucking crazy.

FOREIGN OBJECT (The Mountain Goats)

This one is about the time harrow stabs someone in the eye with a foreign object

I personally will stab you in the eye with a foreign object

It's about harrow jamming her own teeth into the saint of duty's eyes, and also about the soup thing. This song is about being backed into a corner and fighting desperately with unexpected weapons.

Fun fact, the song itself was written explicitly about wrestling - which means that the term 'foreign object' should be translated in the wrestling context, meaning an object from outside of the ring. For example, a classic folding chair. So, considering this, we must admit that harrow doesn't actually literally use a foreign object. She uses her own teeth and bone marrow. Her objects are downright domestic.

But I think we can all agree she's got the spirit.

DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT (The Glitch Mob)

OK OK I PUT A SECOND SIX MINUTE LONG ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTAL ON THE FANMIX!!!! BUT -

really there's so much general bad feeling happening in harrow the ninth that having chaotic instrumentals feels like the only way to even START to capture it.

So here's a song about Gideon waking up in Harrow's body and trying to figure out that weird and upsetting event while also fighting some fucked up bees and learning some weird stuff about her parents and also dying like at least 4 times while all this was happening.

COSMIC LOVE (Florence and the Machine)

I like my playlists to be a bit chronological - it's an urge I can never quite thwart, I love to mirror a narrative. So all the songs about Gideon are at the end of the playlist, when she shows up. Man, we all missed her. I missed her. Didn't you miss her??

The stars, the moon they have all been blown out you left me in the dark

I don't have that much to say about this one, I find it incredibly self-evident. I'll make up for how fucking long-winded I was about 'Moderation' and 'Ballad of a Thin Man' by cutting this short.

FRANCESCA (Hozier)

Some of these songs are so exactly what I want on this playlist that I actually have LESS to say about them, because I think you can interpret the same things I'm interpreting just by listening to the song.

So listen to the song and then lets be insane about it together!!

This is about Gideon's sacrifice, and Harrow's rejection of that sacrifice. And Gideon's butthurt feelings about that.

My life was a storm, since I was born How could I fear any hurricane? If someone asked me at the end I'd tell them put me back in it (Darling) I would do it again.

I mean

"I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me."

Are you insane about it yet? I'm insane about it.

WEAR BLACK (The Mountain Goats)

The playlist is coming to an end.

Let's let ourselves be gently outro'd by the soft waves of John Darnielle sharing with us what it means to carry mourning with you throughout your life.

Wear black wherever I go Wear black wherever you are

[salbertwolf]

Talent Swap Au - Part 3!

I'm so normal about them what do you mean

Decided to just post the remaining ones here in just one batch because I need to throw the ideas somewhere and I do not have the patience I would like to imagine I have, especially not with stuff I want to talk about.

Be warned! Some spoilers for DR1, read at your own discretion.

First Group - The Deserved Better Gang

Yasuhiro Hagakure - Ultimate Idol

Going through his Hozier era, good for him <- Friend about him.

This man can fit so many conspiracies in his head.

Him and Mondo know each other in a daily basis because of some reasons I'll say later, you can imagine how his dead impacted the other.

Why pick Sakura? He's dumb but not that dumb.

"Those are some weird blood splatters" "It looks like a tree" "Huh" Truth Bullet Added! "Poorly Drawn Tree".

Sakura Ogami - Ultimate Baseball Idol

She's wearing a 50's style baseball uniform, this is not her usual uniform but she likes how it looks so sue her.

The deal with the mm still happens and goes as you'd expect.

She didn't kill Hiro because she wanted, Hina was the original target for the letter so she went to confront him about it.

Aoi Asahina - Ultimate Programmer

I had to look up so many Y2K fashion girl I'm so sorry that this means you died 3rd.

Alter Ego takes mostly the form of her brother and she created both to help and cope with everything.

Her death happens because her and Makoto have heard of each other through her brother, he didn't mean to kill her he swears! Still happens, I hug her.

Second Group - Trouble Trio

Kyoko Kirigiri - Ultimate Gambler

She went to live with her dad when she was little but the deduction talent runs through her blood, she is type of player that counts card and doesn't get caught.

Eventually reconnected with her grandfather and flips her dad off a lot.

Case 3 was not for the money, it was a revenge thingy.

Makoto Naegi - Ultimate Biker Gang Leader

Still a sweethear! Just a good boy that could kick you in your knees and send you to the hospital

Started the gang more of a personal thing but then it got out of control and he doesn't know what will happen if he decides to leave (Especially since the Crazy Diamonds guys left so some of the members moved to his gang).

Sister is his second in command

Expected to get caught in Trial 2, then the whole meddling with the crime scene happened and he doesn't know how to feel about it.

Byakuya Togami - Ultimate Fanfic Creator

That type of nerd that corrects you even if you get a tiny detail wrong because "How dare you get this wrong even if you are just starting to learn about this piece of media? You are unworthy of calling yourself a true fan!".

Loser, L.

Doesn't know how he became friends with Makoto but case 3 certainly did happen got killed LMAO.

Third Group - The Allies(?)

Hifumi Yamada - Ultimate Moral Compass

I struggled so hard giving him a talent I tried my best.

The type of hall monitor that strucks a conversation with you while walking and you not realizing he took you to detention or the office.

Nothing like canon Hifumi, just, nothing, the best way to write Hifumi is not writing Hifumi.

Mukuro Ikusaba - Ultimate Martial Artist

The main 6's emotional support through everything, elder sister tired energy.

Her and Junko didn't get separated at teens but they are friends, she really cared about her sister and loves her very much.

MM deal hurts her soul... case 4, yeah.

Celestia Ludenberg? - Ultimate Fashionista? Toko Fukawa - Ultimate Soldier

Omg is that Celestia Ludenberg the Ultimate Fashionista she looks so cool???

She looks different than in the pictures... Huh

Most be kept away from Taka at least 3 rooms appart if they are not in the group.

"WHY WEAR GLASSES IF CONTACTS?" "BECAUSE THEY DO SHIT SHE'S STILL BLIND AS A BAT"

That's all, thank you for hearing me ramble once again

Case 1 aftermath being like:

Part 1 <-

Part 2 <-

Part 4 <-

[sevlawless]

unknown

pairing: m!ortega x f!sidestep (arabella aveiro)

word count: 775

warnings: angst and a confession <3 but at what cost?

tags: @masonscig @farahhauville

notes: yeah idk what i'm doing either! i've fallen (haha) into the worst fallen hero hole imaginable it's all i can think about as of late and this fic is the proof of that. basically arabella tells ortega how she feels. and they discuss the past. just a tad. as a treat! anyway i hope you enjoy 🙏 the title is inspired by unknown/nth by hozier because i listened to it a lot while writing this and it feels fitting. you'll find out why if you read!

[read on ao3]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

love is as foreign of a concept to you as anything else. feeling safe. grounded. at peace. you know you'll never feel any of those things. and if you have, it's never for long.

why would love be any different?

could it be different? allowing yourself to feel something other than anger, or fear?

no. what a stupid thought. it should be entirely out of the equation.

but the way ortega is looking at you right now is making you question it. for the second time in your life, but with the same person, seven years later.

the person you were then - sidestep, the vigilante, the sidekick - could have seen herself following through with it. but fear and anger always came rushing back to bring you to your senses.

now, there's a whole lot more to deal with.

the person you are now - retribution, the anarchist, the villain - can't get caught up in this. you're lying to him. constantly. more than you ever did in the past. almost everything you say to him is a lie. 

except for those rare occasions when you let your true feelings slip. that you love him back, despite everything in you telling you not to. what you just told him, and why he's looking at you the way he is right now. as if you're the only thing on this earth that matters to him, his brown eyes lighting up with the adoration you've tried getting adjusted to ever since he found you back at that diner. his eyes are crinkling in the corners, more than they ever did seven years ago. the smile on his face still gives you butterflies, like it did when you first saw it.

there's a beat of silence, the only sound occupying his apartment being the ceiling fan swinging above you both, a futile attempt to cool down the temperature in the infamous los diablos heat.

futile also because your own body feels like it's overheating, sweat accumulating on your forehead, your hands warm and clammy. 

“you love me.”

you roll your eyes. “don't make me repeat it.” even though you want to. until the words don't make sense anymore. until you grow tired of saying it, but part of you knows you never would.

a knowing smile graces his face. you want to hurl. “i won't.”

he holds your hands in his, one of his thumbs rubbing over the jagged edges of a scar you don't remember how you got. there's so many, you gave up trying to.

“i wish i had told you,” he starts, uncharacteristically nervous. “i wish i had told you all those years ago.”

would it have changed anything? a part of you wants to believe it would have. a stupid, stupid part of you wants to believe that.

“it would have made things worse,” you decide, refusing to meet his eyes. “it would have made…”

even now, you can't bring it up. 

the heartbreak incident. jumping from the roof. vaguely hearing screams that you know came from him. your skull cracking against the pavement. being put in an ambulance. being taken to-

he tilts your chin up, taking in your wide eyed expression and your heavy breathing.

“it's okay,” he assures you, and you desperately want to believe that. another stupid part of you.

“it wouldn't have made it worse,” he says, “i was in love with you then, too. i should have told you, bella. i’m sorry i didn't.”

his eyes shine with unshed tears, and it takes everything in you to not respond with tears of your own.

it makes no sense. you've fought him, broken his nose, put him in the hospital. cleaned his blood from your suit, your gloves.

and yet, this makes you feel something. remorse. regret. that foreign feeling of love that you're still trying to understand.

you don't deserve him. you didn't then, and you certainly don't now. 

“it's okay, ricky,” you finally respond. “we didn't know.”

he chuckles. “no,” he pushes a strand of hair away from your face, and you hate how calming it makes you feel, “but now we do, and we have all the time in the world to make up for it.”

time.

how much do you really have left? being here, in this moment, on his couch, inching closer and closer to each other. you almost didn't realize you were doing it.

as his lips meet yours, warm and familiar, you want this moment to last forever.

you know it can't. it won't.

but for now, you'll enjoy it. even when it all inevitably comes crashing down around you.

that's what you're used to.

[atlaswav]

Regarding that music reblog can u drop some music recommendations 🙏🙏🙏

ABSOLUTELY I LOVE THIS QUESTION the day has finally come when someone has asked me for music recs 🤞🤞 (i didn't know what to start with so ur gonna get a bunch of random artists i like)

also if anyone wants to ask for recs for anything at all (like books, fics, writers, etc.) pls ask!! i love sharing 🥳

beabadoobee — i love love love her new album this is how tomorrow goes, its 10/10 and every time she makes rock music adjacent she never fails to eat down and devour. my recs for her are beaches, take a bite, cologne, talk and ripples because they all have a sort of nostalgic vibe. like they're somehow so familiar even though you've never heard them before. i love beabadoobee she's so good at what she does.

hozier — okay i know he's lowkey middle aged woman core but his lyricism AND production are literally unmatched i get why the lesbians love him. I'd recommend dinner and diatribes, jackie and wilson, northern attitude (by noah kahan ft hozier), angel of small death and the codeine scene and movement 🙏 his music makes me absolutely ascend to a different plane of existence.

laufey — call me a basic asian all you want but laufey synthesises older jazz/classical sound with modern lyricism and structure and creates something so beautiful i love her so much and i regret missing out on her concert tickets every day. i love love love night light, must be love, let you break my heart again, dreamer and lovesick, all her instrumentals never miss. her songwriting is also top notch and gives young, dumb and in love energy ykwim 😍

taylor swift — HEAR ME OUT her new album specifically the anthology half of ttpd has like no skips and i will die on this hill. her older music is good too but i am here to talk about the anthology. the anthology has 10/10 songwriting and minimal production which makes the lyrics stand out more and i love it. i'd recommend the black dog, the prophecy, how did it end and peter because they make me want to scream and cry tbh. also good inspo for fic writing LOL

billie eilish — i have been a fan of hers since my emo phase in 2018 and i can confirm that finneas' production is genius. honestly i recommend the entirety of hit me hard and soft because it was meant to be listened to continuously with all the melodic motifs and lyrical motifs but yeah. also no time to die was a cultural shift that changed my brains hardwiring.

chase atlantic — okay wild 360 from billie eilish and soft ballads (and this artist has lowkey been ruined for me by a certain someone..) but they do have bangers 🎉 i love heaven and back, right here, die for me and dancer in the dark, their music is really sexual though so uh parental guidance 🤞

the neighbourhood — i love love love the vibe of their discography and even though their music might be counted as "tiktok" music because of some of their popular songs they're still so good. I recommend reflections, compass, devil's advocate and stargazing. introspective kinda vibes with their music yk.

the arctic monkeys — I LOVE THEM AND i regret not going to their tour every single hour. alex turner might be a grandpa but i love his accent in his songs and the production is literally liquid gold. pls listen to stop the world i wanna get off with you, snap out of it, fluorescent adolescent, you're so dark, one for the road, and honestly their entire AM album. It's their most popular for a good reason i fear.

i feel like i've rambled way too much but i do have more if you'd like. can you tell i'm a mainstream music kinda person with a couple less popular artists 😭😭 ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE SHARING MUSIC AND DISCUSSING MUSIC ITS THAT INNER MUSIC NERD WITHIN ME if you'd like classical music recs however i'd be too scared to say anything at fear of invoking the wrath of my other classically trained musicians

[redwolf17]

Buyer Beware: Don't Get Scammed on Hozier Tickets!

Tickets went on sale today for Hozier's 2024 Unreal Unearth US Tour. I'm already seeing people in the tag talking about trying to get marked up resale tickets from scalpers, which is totally understandable, but BEFORE YOU BUY, please read this heads up!

Hozier made most* US venues using Ticketmaster** restrict the ticket transfers. Tickets can ONLY be transferred through TicketMaster's fan to fan exchange, and only for face value. A lot of artists have done this lately; if scalpers know the tickets can't be sold for a profit, there's no point having bots snatch up all the tickets.

But seatgeek, stubhub, vividseats, and other sites already have tickets listed???

Yeah. Yeah, and they had tickets listed yesterday too, BEFORE ANY TICKETS WENT ON SALE. Those tickets did not exist! They did not have them!

If you already bought a ticket, you were paying them in hopes they would snag tickets today and then pass them to you for an upcharge. The same goes for any tickets listed now; at best, you're making the seller an interest free loan which will probably not get refunded until the day before the concert when they are forced to admit they don't have tickets for you.

So how can I get a ticket?

From what I can tell, the Ticketmaster fan to fan exchange usually opens a week or so after tickets first go on sale. To get tickets, you'll need to keep an eye on your venue and watch for tickets to drop as people realize they have a conflict and need to sell their tickets. Yes, this may make it harder to find a ticket in supply, BUT you will only end up paying face value plus the TM fees.

————

*Not including New York and Colorado, who have laws that keep venues from restricting ticket resales

**I don’t know about the non-Ticketmaster venues, but they likely have a similar fan resale policy in place.

[luckycharms1701]

*saunters into your inbox with more vibes to drop*

Howdy Hon, back at it again with some more vibes to consider. But first off, Broski, you don’t need to apologize for answering late. Being as fabulous as you are is a full time job. I get it.

If anything, I’m more surprised that you DID answer AND offered like really considerate thoughts to my songs. They made me laugh knowing I made you suffer along with me. And since you made me (and my bestie) suffer with your cutest little Raph fic, I’ve decided to return the favor. Again.

Please enjoy some of my very favorite Rise Raph coded songs and know that I appreciate you!🧡

https://open.spotify.com/track/1F1RktuW2b9bek6IA1prm2?si=u0nsL3mwRSqRltnj1xeX4A

This just…lowkey sounds like him to me? https://open.spotify.com/track/2SXx7Ofa79CeJfio98aJcG?si=dGl1KFOYSBGPK_Y8FBQ-jQ

ok ok ok listen listen. This song is weird I know, but like…Raph is actually a confident guy. Especially in his body. But not in the way you think. He knows what he can do and how strong he is. I think he only gets insecure when it comes to his body around other people. So imagine like this song after y’all have been together, you given him the green light, and he’s comfortable with his body AND you

https://open.spotify.com/track/0l876Z7CBDs9hmscnaXg95?si=c-R24sUtTAS790UY6obUSQ

https://open.spotify.com/track/5sp2ZYNA1EwmC6CA3CGxiq?si=7kSZSj5SS5O7pQP2o8pmyg

Raph. No explanation. Just…just Raph

Anyway, enjoy! Drink your water and know you are loved! Don’t stress yourself out with responses!

yessss more vibes! howdy anon-chan!

i do try to answer everything in my inbox, even if it takes me a (long, long, longggg) time. i know it takes courage to reach out to a stranger, even if it's anonymous!

hehe, i'm glad you and your bestie enjoyed my raph fic! he is a favorite of mine, you may have noticed 😝 i'm excited to hear your music for him!!

Perfect by Atlus

i can see why this sounds like him to you! raph, in all iterations, is particularly devoted to his loved ones. he would feel it keenly if his duties ever separated him from you for a long time, and he would be the one to reach out and tell you how much he loves and misses you. oooooo he's so good! he's so good

Eat Your Young by Hozier

oh yeah i can see it 😏 i can see him, sprawled across a chair, beckoning you over with a smirk on his face and heat in his eyes, telling you to come get some... i think i need a cold shower now *fans self*

Fight for Me by Gawvi, Lecrae

oh. okay. yeah. raph. yeah...

When You Say Nothing At All by Music Travel Love

oh this makes me soft. when my sister got married this was their first dance song. 😭😭😭 anyway, personal experiences aside, absolutely this is a raph song. i feel like he would put a lot more stock in actions and body language over words

thank you for these wonderful suggestions!! i appreciate you too! 🧡

[itrustmydiscoverweekly]

Get ready for some terrible pop music opinions!

This week, I listened to "Get Weird (Deluxe Edition)" by Little Mix, I mostly listen to alternative music... this is a girl group... yeah this week was interesting.

⭐⭐ (2.5 out of 5 stars) (again no half-star emoji)

I am going to be completely honest, this album is not for me in the slightest. I only listened to it because it was a friend's suggestion, I still love my friend and think they have good taste in music, their stuff is just not my stuff, I don't expect them to like my stuff they didn't expect me to love this.

Since it's a friend suggestion I think I will include their opinions at the end compared to mine, since they've had a lot more time with this album than I have.

Shockingly, I did find out that I actually know quite a few more popular tracks off this album, which was funny!

Now, my opinions, these will not be super thoughtful, it's pop music and the way I consume pop music is in passing, I only half pay attention, I'm mostly looking for uniqueness and catchiness. Anyways, y'all don't care. Opinions! (As always, not any particular order, just the order they appear on the album)

"Weird People" grew on me a lot. At first, I really found it almost a bit annoying but it is a good track with a good message. And unfortunately, I did live in England and listen to BBC radio for two years of my life so I do like this sort of very electronic pop music. It has a catchy chorus and is nice to listen to. I like the robotic "male" voice that sings some of the backup stuff throughout and the texture it adds

"Hair" is another track I really didn't like at the start but it grew on me. Here's where I also have to admit that I am a band, and even worse, a drum line kid, and I love the drum line style percussion on this track. And.... is this track about cutting your hair out of mental instability?... That's funny to hear out of a pop group, and it is a lot of fun! Also, I found the censoring of the word "dick" with the cash register ching to be funny. This song is really lighthearted and I do enjoy it!

"I Won't" Grew on me again, out of my time in England. This is even more electronic than "Weird People" and I find it almost nostalgic?? Comforting?? I'm not sure what the word is, but I like this song. It also has a good message and is catchy. I like the structure on this song too

Honorable Mentions 🥳🥳🥳

"Black Magic", super catchy, lot's of fun

"Love Me Like You" I'm a Hozier fan, I love a good sha la la la /hj this one is also super catchy

"Secret Love Song (feat. Jason Derulo) I like how Jason Derulo blends with Little mix and how it feels like a conversation, I also like the instrumentation on this one 👍

"Lightning" I like this one because it's different but still fits with the other songs I like on this album. Again, typical British pop sounds and ideas

Now, MY FRIEND"S OPINIONS!!!! woooo

They picked out: "Love Me Like You", "Secret Love Song (feat. Jason Derulo), "Love Me Or Leave Me", and "Secret Love Song, Pt. II

[lesbeansoups]

Hey so I just went through the turninghoziest tag for the first time since I came back here and guys 🥹🥹🥹

Thank you so much for caring about my wellbeing! Much has changed since then. I'm back with a new blog, new pronouns (they/them) and a new name. 🫶🏻

I'll give you an update below the cut:

So long story short: I deleted my hozier blog in the summer of 2020. I loved @/turninghoziest, it gave me so much! and the community I build on it over 4 years was so beautiful. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that that blog changed my life. Tumblr was the first place where I found a community. It was the first place where I felt safe exploring my gender identity as a queer kid living in a conservative environment.

So why did I leave? To be honest. It was building up for a long time. Turns out having one of the most active Hozier blogs on here takes a lot, emotionally. And with everything that happened in ✨2020✨, it got to a point where I couldnt handle it anymore in combination with everything going on in my personal life as well. I was going through a lot emotionally (moving to a new city for university, starting new without knowing anybody, figuring out I was nonbinary, covid, beginning therapy and getting diagnosed with ADHD,...).

But one day I just had enough. I got so many emotional asks and I just... deleted everything.

I was extremely tired of some dynamics in the Hozier fandom. I was still a kid (maybe not legally but mentally) and I didnt think that my opinion mattered compared to some adult voices in the fandom. Voices that sexualized Hozier in a way I wasn't comfortable with bc that man is still a human being and not just a celebrity. Hell, someone kissed him on the hand without asking and I didnt see much outrage in my corner of the fandom and I didnt have the confidence to speak up.

It was also during the BLM protests and I was getting asks from left and right. I would get multiple asks a day telling me that I'm doing too much or too little. And I made mistakes, I have been outspoken about Hozier's uplifting of Black voices since I started that blog. And during the spring and summer of 2020 I learned a lot and made posts trying to do the right thing, which I now wouldn't do the same way. But this learning process influenced my academic career a lot as well: I focus on decolonial theories and consult in IR as a gender expert. I am still learning, but I def know better now than I did 4 years ago. And I wouldnt have gotten to this place without the interactions I had on here, especially the feedback I got from BIPoC.

After I left, i kept in touch with some of my mutuals through discord, we even organised a group call during the pandemic which was so nice! I have reconnected with some of you guys again since I returned to tumblr this April but I still miss a lot of things about the community we had.

And I miss my blog lol. I just loved having a Hozier blog that was just about making jokes, anaylsing lyrics and shitposting constantly bc I couldnt relate to the typical fan experience (news flash: turns out i'm a demisexual lesbian lmao)

So yeah, a lot has changed. I found myself and started transitioning, I feel at home for the first time in my life, I even have two Hozier inspired tattoos! I dont think any of this would have been possible without the community I had on here. So thank you all for that x

I returned to tumblr because I know how beautiful this space on the internet can be. It's my hellsite (affectionately). To much more shitposting!

Hey guys you know anything about sandy from turninghoziest? I can't find her blog, hope they are okay

[kingkatsuki]

Is your musical milestone event still open? If so, could I ask for Kirishima with the "band" Hozier? There was a security guard when I went to go see Hozier and I swear this dude was so fine I wished he had pat me down lol. Just imagining Kiri as a big buff security guard pulling me aside cause I'm too cute for him too ignore oh man <3

(Happy 30k by the way, that's literally insane!!! You deserve each and every follower bro, your writing rocks!)

Thank you so much for sending something in🥺💕

It means a lot coming from you because I love your writing so much too!🥰💕

Warnings: non-con for abuse of power and non-consensual touching. Basically just pervy Kiri~

There was just something about cute little fangirls that had Kirishima going wild. The way you wore the bands shirt so proudly, their logo plastered against your tits as you held an excited glow in your eyes, a skirt that was definitely too short to be wearing in public. Who were you trying to impress? You didn’t really think the band would notice you, did you?

But he noticed, Kirishima’s lips curled into a coy smile when you approached him at the front of the venue. Holding out your ticket eagerly with a bright smile on your face. You looked so happy, so excited. The eager glow on your cheeks had his cock stirring in his pants, shifting his stance as he took the ticket off you and glanced down at the information.

“Third row, huh? That’s pretty close-“ He scanned the ticket before handing it back to you. Noticing your smile widen.

“I know, I woke up at 6am to get them.” You gushed, holding open your bag at his silent request as he began to look inside it.

“6am? You must be a big fan.” He grinned, closing the bag as you made to step inside the arena.

“Thank you,” Kirishima almost groaned at the tone of your voice, imagining the same words leaving your lips as he pumped you full of his cum.

“One sec, sweetheart.” Kirishima stepped in front of you, holding a tattooed arm out in front of you as you stopped in surprise.

“Just gotta pat you down, can never be too careful these days.”

“Uh, okay?” You trusted him explicitly, especially as he seemed to be one of the head security guards for the venue. An earpiece snug in his pierced ear as he motioned for you to spread your arms.

“So you excited for the show, babe?” His warm, large palms slowly dragging over your body, sliding along your spread arms before following your curves down your sides.

“Uh- yeah,” You mumbled, your voice catching in your throat as he stopped to spread his calloused thumbs under the curve of your breasts, feeling the underside of them as he groaned at how thin the material of your bra felt. Unable to resist squeezing your soft mounds as he heard a surprised gasp leave your lips.

“Fuck,” Kirishima rasped under his breath, his cock throbbing desperately between his thighs at the feel of your soft skin, instantly imagining how your pretty pouty lips would look wrapped around his cock. Whether you’d even be able to take half of him inside you, oh but he’d definitely make you try. Imagining that perfect make-up that you’d probably spent hours on streaming down your cheeks for him when the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat.

You’d been to plenty of concerts before, and you were certain that this was inappropriate, but you couldn’t say anything, you just stood there as the security continued to fondle your body.

“That’s good-“ He murmured, his ruby eyes blown as he let out a soft groan, stepping closer to you so you could see his sheer size. Almost double your height and his cologne captivated your senses, taking in a deep breath as it tickled your nose, “What’s your favourite song?”

Your body stiffening from his actions as he continued lower, his hands coming around your waist to cup your round ass, squeezing the soft skin as you worried your lower lip between your teeth. You weren’t even sure you could name a single song in this moment, too occupied by his touch against your body.

“I didn’t realise they had such cute fans,” Kirishima continued, completely unbothered that you hadn’t answered his previous question, you were so fucking perfect, he mused. Imagining how your round ass would look sat on his lap as he stretched you out on his cock. His hands stroking your ass to try and feel the outline of your panties, to work out what kind of underwear you were wearing tonight but he couldn’t feel anything. There was no way you were going commando, was there? The thought of your bare pussy alone almost enough to make him cum untouched, his fingers inches away from slipping beneath the short skirt to find out for himself. Imagining dragging a long, thick digit through your slick. Maybe you were wearing a thong instead? His thoughts immediately going towards what colour it could be and how it would look against your skin, he couldn’t wait any longer. He needed you. Pausing his touch on your ass as he gave it another rough squeeze, “What is this?”

“What?” You stiffened in fear, you didn’t have anything on you, what did he mean?

“I dunno-“ He paused, stepping back as he let his hands drag around your body to your waist before letting go, “I might have to be more thorough.”

“I don’t have anything, I wouldn’t- the concert starts soon,” You began to panic, bile rising in your stomach and catching against your throat as he motioned for you to follow him.

“Oh yeah? You a good girl?” Kirishima gave you a wide grin, ruby eyes looking you up and down as you nodded your head in agreement.

Kirishima almost came on sight at the way you agreed with him, nodding your head innocently with those doe-like eyes staring up at him. From the sheer size difference he knew no matter what he’d be splitting you apart on his cock, your tight walls stretching to try and accommodate him as he drove himself into you.

“Shit.” He hissed, dipping his thumbs into his belt loops to try and adjust his pants. His hard, thick cock tenting the fabric, grabbing your bag as he turned to take you into a door that said ‘STAFF ONLY’.

“If you’re a good girl this won’t take long at all. I promise.”

[dragonsruby]

Logic:  You can’t make a good Mozenrath playlist! Most of the info you have on his character is based off of single lines or fan interpretations!

Me:  Haha continuous emo phase go brrrrrrr

Here's the Spotify link if anyone wants to view what I've got or edit it!

Under the line is the list of songs I think go with Mozey's character or general aesthetic and their YouTube lyrics links, along with occasional personal explanations, since I enjoy seeing those in others' playlists. Feel free to dispute or add on! ...Beware. It's long.

Emperor's New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco

When You're Evil - Voltaire

Dark Matter - Les Friction

Arsonist's Lullaby - Hozier (This reminds me of The DVD Fairy's concept for a Mozenrath story in Once Upon A Time. The whole concept of Moze seeing himself as the embodiment of magic serving a dark purpose is fascinating!)

In The Woods Somewhere - Hozier (Another fanfiction, but this song feels so much like Antiphony!)

Castle - Halsey (C'mon, this could practically be his villain song!)

Let Me In - The Unseen Guest ("And sometimes in the night, you answer the phone, and they breathe down the line just to see if you're home...")

Die In A Fire - The Living Tombstone (Yeah, yeah, I know, but you KNOW this is going through his head through 90% of his episodes)

The Devil Within - Digital Daggers

God Syndrome - Madame Macabre ("Don't play God, you're no deity!" "Who, pray tell, would try and stop me?!")

COPYCAT - Billie Eilish

My Way - Chase Holfelder (Oh gosh, I LOVE this interpretation of the song! Mozenrath sees how little time he has left, reflects on what he's accomplished up until now, and decides to go out on a bang! Of course, the original song by Frank Sinatra would go as well!)

Tag, You're It - Melanie Martinez (Side note, did anyone else notice as a kid that Moze kidnapped/imprisoned a major character, usually Aladdin, almost every episode he appeared in? That's what drew me to the show in the first place; I had never seen a male villain imprison a male hero that often. ...Don't read too far into that.)

Milk and Cookies - Melanie Martinez

Outrunning Karma - Alec Benjamin (If I had any art skills, I would make an animatic of Moze with this song SO FAST...)

This is Love - Air Traffic Controller (Trigger warning for lyrical mentions of domestic/mental abuse. The song is heavy. "It's pathetic, I know, a jealous fool who won't let go. If I were sorry for my actions would I ever stoop so low?")

The Wolf - SIAMÉS

Phantom - NateWantsToBattle ("There ain't nothing to debate. Blow this purgatory state. The city lights will drown you out in the exposure.")

Villainous Thing - Shayfer James

Choke - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME (Yay, murder!)

Necromancin Dancin - Bear Ghost (I need a good excuse to add this one because I love this song. It's about a necromancer and it's PERFECT.)

High Enough - K.Flay

Kamikazee - MISSIO ("I want money and power and champagne and fame. I want money and power. My black heart's to blame!")

Twisted - MISSIO ("I'm uncontrollable, emotional, chaotically proportional, I'm visceral, reloadable, I'm crazy...")

Everybody Gets High - MISSIO ("Everybody gets high, why the hell can't I?")

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off

Kill The Lights - Set It Off

Paranoid Android - Radiohead

Ysma's Song - Jonathan Young (or the original by the late and great Eartha Kitt!)

Believer - Imagine Dragons

Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine - The Killers

Sweet Tooth - Scott Helman ("I hold hands with cosmic entities. I'll take this tube out if I please!")

Burned - Grace VanderWaal

Who Will Save You Now - Les Friction

Everybody Knows - Sigrid

Kicks - Barns Courtney ("Oh, diamond deeds, a minimal variety. I'll play until my fingers bleed. I'll never lack the quality.")

Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney

Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea - MISSIO

Victorious - Panic! At The Disco

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Colors - Halsey

Yellow Flicker Beat - Lorde ("I've got my fingers laced together and I've made a little prison and I'm locking up anyone who ever laid a finger on me. This is the start of how it all ever ends. They used to shout my name, now they whisper it.")

Let’s Kill Tonight - Panic! At The Disco

The Haunting - Set It Off ("Catch a lover, turn an enemy just to watch them burn alive!")

Don’t Mess With Me - temposhark

Little Game - Benny

Animal Impulses - IAMX

Blood - End Credits - My Chemical Romance

Another Way Out - Hollywood Undead

Mama - My Chemical Romance

I’m Only Joking - KONGOS

Brand New Day - Neil Patrick Harris

Slipping - Neil Patrick Harris

Pretty Little Head - Eliza Rickman

I Can’t Decide - Scissor Sisters

Bird Song - Florence + The Machine

Hell to Your Doorstep - Thomas Borchert

Look What You Made Me Do - Jack Leopards & The Dolphin Club (or any singer, really)

you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish

Dead! - My Chemical Romance

The Hearse Song - Rusty Cage

Undead Lullaby - JT Music ("Bliss and pain, health and blight. I feel disparity preparing me to die.")

Dark Souls - Acoustic Mix - JT Music

Body - Mother Mother

HVY MTL DRMR - Des Rocs ("Rage like Eve in the garden. Oh, the sweetest fruit you could bear! When the riptide's dragging you under, are you gonna drown?")

Blood In The Cut - K.Flay

Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People

Ashes - NateWantsToBattle

Mad Hatter - Melanie Martinez

Turn the Lights Off - Tally Hall (Another one I would love to see or make an animatic of!)

Sirens - Bear Ghost

Rewrite - Darling Thieves

The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning - The Smashing Pumpkins ("And in your darkest hour, I hold secret's flame. We can watch the world devoured in its pain.")

Hellfire - Barns Courtney

Fire - Barns Courtney

Natural - Imagine Dragons

System - Chester Bennington

Oops! ...I Did It Again! - Britney Spears

The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At The Disco

[yvningshowers]

My moots as songs bc why tf not and bc my love is annoying duh

Find yourselves... below the cut...

Going in alphabetical order by ur url so u can find yourselves faster LMFAO

@cyancherub

CASSIE. Hi boo how r ya boostie yes hello bet you weren't expecting this LMFAO but... regardless I bestow upon you... ugh YOUR MUSIC TASTE IS SO DIFFERENT FROM MINE ALDNOWJD but I think... I'm going with

Jidenna's Sufi Woman... dear god it's so good. Ur a bruja a lil it's true LMFAO and I LOVE that about you qojfiwjdow

OH AND idk this is like... idk. this. yeah.

@hajimoon

KRIS QOFJOWNEOR ok ok ok.... HEH I'm excited ok ok here goes:

La Santa Cecilia's Como Dios Manda (sing it to Momo.... I triple dog dare you... no ovaries u won't...) and Girl in Red's We Fell in Love in October if I am off... if the vibes are off... I'm gonna jump off a cliff Kris ok just tell me I did a good job and that I'm a good friend ok LMFAOOO

@izuukii

hey Scout know ur away from the platform! Just wanna say kiss and also I give you, since you've called your music taste pretentious LMFAO I don't think it is I think it's GREAT but I thought you might like a small hometown band heh so! I've got

Escapism by Pastime, a group from my old tiny ass hometown. Mad that this is the only song of theirs that I like RIP. It makes me feel nostalgia, and your pieces always do that to me

OH AND PANIC AT THE DISCO'S this. The title is too long 💀 but it gives me "I'm the shit" vibes and. I mean. I would hope you feel like that DAILY. AS YOU SHOULD.

@jozhenji

ANDYYY. Ok. Uuuuh. I... get thine vibes. I think. But I also don't think our music tastes line up AOHDOQJQO I am trying so hard. But a Bernadette Banner fan... might be a Florence + the Macine fan? Maybe? Oh gosh yeah this was hard

I give you Lady Gaga's Hey Girl? Oh this was HARD but this is one of my favs of all time

Or maybe Hozier's Jackboot Jump? Feel like ppl who enjoy sewing just are rebels at heart are we not? LMFAO

@katsupeach

Ah yes...... Emme. HM. I will say dear I'm not quite sure our music taste lines up. I do think yours is superior. LMFAO. So I will... try hard. Try very hard. Yes.

I am ALWAYS listening to Ella Fitzgerald's Someone to Watch Over Me and you're gonna look at me and tell me you DON'T meet a certain pro hero somewhere where this song is playing distantly and they see you and fall so hard they break their heart wide open? Yeah OK bud SURE

Oh and Sabrina Claudio's Problem With You when I heard this song first it put me in a TRANCE aodjoqjdow basically like how your writing does to me so there's that... yeah

May I... submit to you x and x OH and x just for fun which I think... maybe you may enjoy? Perhaps? Mayhapse? Heh

@kenzumekodma

AURELIA QODJOQJDPW ok ok... I do NOT think our music taste lines up idk why I just get that vibe? (THOUGH I DID LISTEN TO FUN'S SLEIGH RIDE ON DEC 1ST AND IT WAS SO GOOD) so I'm... this might be a miss ok and I'm SORRY but also the song makes me think of u ok so pity me fren for my doodoo music taste

Cleo Sol's Why Don't You. I DON'T KNOW WHY!?!?!? U just give me these vibes. I'm... it's so weird LMFAO like... very chill but full of passion? Bro that makes no sense LMFAO just ignore me 💀

@killerdabi

Vey..... hmmm hm hm hm. I get very... chaos bi vibes. And in that way we are very similar HEH so here goes...

Ashnikko's STUPID I mean... if I'm way off apologies my dear but you do CERTAINLY give me "I don't fucking need you... but stick around ur fun" vibes qijdoqjsoqj

BUT BECAUSE WE ARE CHAOS BI. Also Sza's Normal Girl... I COULD BE WRONG AGAIN BUT LIKE. Sad bi hours do tend to happen often to the disaster bi LMFAO.

@melodramaticmatter

Hehehe... Grace.... your music taste is a mystery to me LMFAOOOO so I'm going with songs that just make me think of you... idk ok this is like... might be a miss and I'm sORRY AOEJWIJDIW

Emiliana Torrini's White Rabbit... I just think you're a protagonist LMFAO and this song give me edgy protagonist vibes... everyone hated sucker punch FINE but at least the soundtrack had THIS banger

Oh and also Jolene but specifically Miley Cyrus' cover bc your voice reminds me of hers... do not perceive me....

@mindninjax

The great.... grand Quie. Quirasol. Marquie. Jax. THIS ONE WAS HARD I don't think our music tastes line up exactly but I'm trying SO HARD HERE AODJOQJD

I give you Allen Stone's Brown Eyed Lover... like... yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. One of my all time songs I will love it until the day I die. Your are also brown eyed and everyone loves you. Damn that's crazy hmmm it suits you so well hmmmmm

And Lianne La Havas' Never Get Enough of You. It's acoustic guitar...ish??? Or so you would THINK but then it has a little (a LOT) bit of kick in it that just like... it's raw. It's so raw. God I love it. Feel like ur soft and intense at the same time which REALLY I think fits this song

AND Pepe Aguilar's Me Estoy Acostumbrando a Ti shhh it's pretty and romantic and in spanish shhh

@moonmayhem

JACKS. I'm not gonna lie my good friend. This is gonna be hard. LMFAO. I like... I can just tell your music taste is v nuanced and it is SCARY LMFAO so if this is a miss... apologies I just want you to know I think you're so cool skdjqojdow

Going with... Billie Eilish's When I Was Older AND Pecos Hank's Sinful Refrain... I have no explanation they just both give me very you vibes. They're cool songs and you're cool IDK QOJWIEHIQHW I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH I THINK YOU'RE FUCKING SICK and I think the songs match ur vibe a lil if I'm wrong... just end me fam just kill me

@omiishii

Ah yes.... Junie.... hm. Idk ur music taste... at all really but you are... so soft. Here are my softest songs. I gib u kith. U r precious.

Peter Collins' Love Like and Love Like You from Steven Universe YES THE TITLES ARE SIMILAR bc the vibes of both are soft and lovely, like you... what can I say 😭

@patchworkpuzzle

QOHDOWHE PATCHY. Oh dear oh me oh my. Ok. Ok ok ok. Gonna be honest from our vibes alone... we have different music taste I THINK and I'm almost gonna guarantee that this is gonna be a miss but no matter! I lob u and will still do my best 😭

@prettyboykatsuki

Nina Simone's Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair (hm what Color is Sero's hair again? I forget...) it's a song FULL of love and adoration like u but it's kind of... spooky and magical which I think also suits you fren idk if I am wrong... I will gladly take the guillotine 😔

@petersparkle

Ah yes... my good, sweet, kind Sparkle... our music taste? Could align! Could not! I've no clue my good friend BUT I have prepared for you... songs that give me the most bestie and bubbly of vibes... bc you give me bestie vibes and so HERE WE GO SIWJSISI

Two Door Cinema Club's Something Good Can Work has an intro that kills me every SINGLE time and it makes me feel so giddy and qojdoqjso so do u so this BUT ALSO

Chloe x Halle's Babybird yo this track... one of my EXTREMELY underrated favs and for SOME REASON you remind me of Hawks aodjwiid and so does this track. It's a liiiittle adgy, and I feel like ur also a lil edgy heh

AND FINALLY. I see you with the Shouto pfp. I sense... u may be down for a lil sadness but not too much! Well look no further than madisenxoxo's Baby In Blue it makes me think of Shou... it really does but in a good sad way

Um so um this is. Here. Mali Music's Loved by You. This... it suits ur vibe I think Ari I just think it does like just full of love and care u kno? hope you have a nice day and hope u like the song we are new moots! So this might be off qkejqojiw apologies my good sir... a sweeping bow apology

@scummy-simp

LENNIE QOJDOQJ ok so deadass I was saving you for last and then... forgot 💀 BUT IT'S BC 1) I'M AN IDIOT and 2) bc I feel like we're similar as people which is BAD bc that either means we have the exact same music taste or it's the COMPLETE OPPOSITE (good test of that... do you like country bc I HATE it) SO. I'm going with two that HOPEFULLY you like dear god aodjqjjsjs I hope you like them if not I'm gonna crawl in a cave and be eaten alive by like. fleas idk

The Internet's Hold On and Ari Lennox's Shea Butter Baby they're both... absolute bangers and they make me FERAL AODJOQJA so I hope u like them... bc I think u r... a little feral too LMFAOOO

[deathbydarkelves]

I decided to make playlists for Cathala and Tarinne plus explanations for why I chose each song because I entered one of those ADHD fugue states and if I didn't finish this task I would die

Anyway here are the two links (they're youtube playlists because I don't have spotify. I would obviously recommend using an adblocker if you're just gonna watch on youtube) and the explanations for each song are below the cut :) Each playlist is about an hour long.

For Tarinne’s:

1. Foggy Nights: I consider this her theme so putting it first as a sort of intro only makes sense.

2. Here’s a Health to the Company: I think this works as an example of her general disposition. She’s a people person, and always a fan of singing these sorts of songs in taverns, on ships, or what have you. It also kind of feels like a sendoff to soldiers, which I imagine symbolizes her joining the Sentinel Army and quickly thereafter fighting in the Third War.

3. Wartime Prayers: Somewhat self-explanatory, this is symbolizing her seeing war for the first time, but I also included it because the last line transitions SO WELL into the next song.

4. The Hollow: This song is an intro to an album I've never heard so I don't know the context, but I really love it because it sounds like someone praying to their deity and like I mean c'mon. Elune. Tarinne's praying to Elune to guide her through the war. Do I need to elabo-

5. Wave Walker: KILL DEATH MAIM AHAHAHAHA

6. Isil Elun’falo: Just a super rad fan-made night elf song that's basically "wow we sure do love Elune" said in twenty different ways for four and a half minutes. But it ROCKS and I LOVE it.

7. Chewing Cotton Wool: This song is about losing a loved one (I did have to check but yeah that's what it is) and I use it to symbolize Tarinne losing her mom during the war. The last line, which includes the song's title, I especially like. It's referring to how morticians (apparently) put cotton gauze in a corpse's throat and mouth to keep body fluids in and make the face look more natural. So there's a fun fact for you.

8. See U Soon (Song for Dad): Just a short lofi piece to rest a bit, and it was also chosen because the title's in reference to Tarinne growing closer to her dad after losing her mom. She still visits him at his leathers and furs shop in Stormwind fairly often, especially after dangerous adventures. She just wants to make sure he knows she's alright ;-;

9. No Lullaby: Right back into it with a song that I use to represent Tarinne's general feeling of not being able to go home because it's not there anymore. She's felt like this since the end of the Third War, but it's especially strong since the whole Teldrassil thing. But I like the ending, "who said you're on your own," because it contrasts the repeating of "alone" in the rest of the song. And it's kinda like "hey, listen, you're not the only one who feels like she can't go home." I mean that's probably how basically every single night elf feels right now skxnks

10. The Moss: This song juxtaposes classic fairy tales with scientific facts about the world and I love it to BITS. I'm using it here to represent both Tarinne's love for storytelling but also her sort of... part-time historian/archaeologist/conservator career.

11. Rasputin: I just associate this song with her for some reason and this was the best place to put it.

12. Electric Feel: Moving on to focus more on Tarinne's relationship with Cathala now. This is an extremely great and somewhat 😏 song that I also included because the electricity theme is appropriate because Cathala has lightning powers and y'know it's from Tarinne's perspective or whatever.

13. Bedroom Hymns: You know why this is here.

14. Movement: I can't talk about love songs without talking about Hozier, okay. This is just a nice, slower song to relax a bit with.

15. Never Let Me Go: I have an entire goddamn music video in my head with Cathala and Tarinne for this song and it’s very dramatic and emotional and I had to include this song or I’d die. Basically just listen to near the end of this song when she's repeating the title over and over, and imagine the two of them seeing each other at opposite ends of a battlefield after the dust settles and they rush towards each other and fall to their knees holding on as tightly as they can because they got separated early on and each thought the other was dead. Then you'll know how I feel when I listen to this song.

16. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control: First of all I love the title, and second of all there's a big section in the middle (1:49 to 2:47) that I like to interpret as the two of them grappling with the fact that they're not really quite sure who or what they're fighting for anymore. Their people, yeah, but there's so many alliances and semi-permanent enemies and only-on-every-other-thursday-enemies all intertwined and the world is just so very confusing and they're trying to make the best of it. Elf school didn’t include international, interracial politics in its curriculum. It did however include how to properly plant trees, and AP calculus (this is a joke).

17. In Dreams: I like to imagine this song is something the two of them would say to each other, as a way of saying “even when everything we know is gone, even when the world ends, I will still be by your side. And if I’m not, don’t fear, for I will find you.” It makes a nice note to end on :)

For Cathala’s:

1. muse: Just a nice lofi intro to get us into things :) I don't see this song as her theme, like I do with Tarinne and the first song in her playlist, but I like it quite a bit. I don't actually really have a theme for Cathala yet, I'm currently going with a version of Way of the Monk from WoW's OST but I'm still looking for something better.

2. Frogs Singing: I included this because it's about just appreciating nature, which works because night elf and also mindfulness and meditation is a whole thing.

3. Tongues: This is a song about feeling distant from your peers which is like Cathala's whole existence! She's this weird mix of two cultures and ultimately she feels out of place regardless of where she is or who she's with. Also the theme with not understanding what people are saying works because the poor woman had to learn Pandaren from scratch and that shit ain't easy. I think blizz said somewhere probably that Common is just a language that EVERYONE knows inherently because Video Game but that's bullshit in my opinion. I'll allow spells that let you understand foreign languages to an extent (Comprehend Languages from D&D lets you understand the LITERAL meaning only, which I like), but every culture and species in the universe knowing Common is silly if you think about it for more than two seconds.

4. Kung Fu Fighting: I'm legally required to include this song. Also I prefer the Kung Fu Panda version, I'm sorry.

5. Harder Better Faster Stronger: I vicariously experience having a great work ethic through Cathala and that's why this song is here because she has 999 Determination and does Too Many push-ups every day or something idk. I was gonna say "every morning" but I have a headcanon that elves only need to sleep every couple of days (sort of a nod to "elves don't need to sleep at all" from D&D, and to explain why NIGHT elves are active at all hours of the day) so that doesn't work.

6. What's Up Danger: This song is Cathala's whole Vibe. Almost zero threat assessment skills in this woman's brain. If it can be punched, she will punch it.

7. Eye for an Eye: Fairly self-explanatory, it's a song about wanting revenge so... yeah. Checked that box. It was this or The Vengeful One by Disturbed but ultimately The Vengeful One's religious symbolism probably makes it fit better as a Tyrande theme lol ("I'm the hand of god, I'm the dark messiah." Did you mean: the Night Warrior)

8. Survivor: Cathala's survived a lot of shit and this could kinda be her making fun of herself for it because "Gods, man! Don't I deserve a break!"

9. Ashes: Really the reason I include this song is the last chunk (2:42 to the end) because holy shit. Listen, if I was gonna include a song with fire motifs, it was gonna be a somber one like this.

10. Into the West: This can kinda represent Cathala just trying to fucking breathe and recover from Teldrassil. Also works because I dunno it has stuff to do with the elves in LotR, I haven't seen those movies in a while. It sounds nice and is melancholy so I included it.

11. Like Real People Do: Cathala loves Tarinne a lot you guys have I ever menti-

12. Into the Wild: Tarinne changed Cathala's world for the better and she's super fucking grateful she has her by her side. Kinda goes without saying but you know.

13. Chasing the Moon: I have a vague music video in my head for this of them falling in love and it's very cute so there's that. Also it's in this specific spot because hey she may be deeply traumatized but she's still got a fair number of things/people in her life that make her happy so :)

14. Follow My Girl: I've got a theme going in my head that while Tarinne is fairly certain of her place in the world, Cathala is still trying to find hers. She outlived all her connections on Pandaria because Elf Lifespans(tm) and the only members of her family still alive are distant relatives she never knew very well.

15. Wish That You Were Here: This works both to represent Cathala on Pandaria feeling super homesick, and for more recently after Teldrassil. Either way, it's a message to her parents and sister.

16. Mr. Fear: She does her damnedest to hide it but she's absolutely terrified something like Teldrassil's gonna happen again! That fear drives her to do everything in her power to protect who and what she can. As long as they're not Forsaken, cause she's still got her biases, that compassion even extends across faction lines. She never really got the whole Alliance/Horde thing anyway. Innocent people shouldn't have to die, regardless of who or what they are.

17. Ordinary Day: Not to get super out there but I think this song works as symbolizing Cathala really trying to hold on to her faith in Elune, but ultimately feeling pretty abandoned. I mean she can clearly see Elune's influence everywhere. But Elune sure ain't doing Cathala any favors as far as she can tell! It also ends the whole playlist on maybe a bit of an uncertain/open-ended note, because this "losing faith" aspect is a new thing with her and will definitely be something she continues to struggle with for a while. On a related note, I should say Tarinne is still very much devout but she gets what Cathala's feeling and doesn't force anything on her, and vice versa. And Cathala wouldn't become atheist, the night elves aren't monotheistic and she still worships all the other deities, it's just specifically Elune she's a little :/ on.

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️

[xflower-childx]

Spell work:

I don't have too much time to put into this as I really need to get to sleep (This waking up at witching hour nearly every night is taking a toll one 🤦‍♀️ but I've heard it happens more frequently when your really starting to open up more to the spiritual world and learning more... So I'll take it but dang I need to learn more on how not to wake up in complete panic of being late for work.)

So as I've taken a deeper understanding to tarot cards and have been wanting to expand my collection of not just Tarot but also Oracle cards I thought I'd maybe even dive into spell work. When I was at McKays with Meek I found a few books, one called 'Magical Healing' but Hexe Claire which even though it intimidated me a bit I felt the need to get it. I also fount 'The apprentice witch spell book' by Marian Green and my ADHD brain thanks me. I knew it would be great because it's more colorful and has fun pictures to it so it will keep my brain entertained while trying to learn.

Now I haven't performed any spells from the books yet, I actually found a spell on a video I was watching, a small candle spell about accepting blessing into your life. Now I know I've never been good about accepting help, love and comfort from other people, I've gotten a lot better at it but it's not my favorite thing. I've been wanting to work on gratitude more and accepting love and blessing, after all, it is the season for it.

I performed it the first time the other night though, the same night I swear a spirit latched onto me from the haunted road I went on with Lex the night before. I saw the video and noticed the spell only required a candle which I had, most spells I see require other elements to them. It's a simple one though, just meditate on the blessings you seek while holding the candle, say the spell out loud and then set it on your alter for some time before sending you're intentions to the universe.

I tried the same spell tonight, this time I had a better understanding of what I was doing and readjusted my sort of...session? With my spirit guides. I meditated on the candle first, focusing on the flame, locking eyes with it, I noticed a sort of blue hue to it which I would like to look into more. I also found as I watched for a good five minutes that I wish I understood the meaning of flames more. The flame started to dance quite a bit as I stared, I took note of any air flow in my room but the way it danced wouldn't have been from any fan or draft.

At first I let the flame dance in awe, I then asked out loud if any of my spirit guides were with me and the flame pause for a second before going wild again. I felt this overwhelming feeling of comfort it me like I wasn't so alone and it brought tears to my eyes, I don't have much of an idea who my spirit guides are but I believe my grandmother is one of them and that always brings a familiar comfort too me. Although a side note, my empathy has been crazy lately too, so much so tiktok videos make me cry dammit 🤦‍♀️ I swear someone could enter the room to me sobbing like a baby and ask what's wrong and I would blubber out something about a dog and a baby cuddling or some silly video like that, also all the angel neighbors, everytime I look up I see them, all day. I swear it's like spiritual menopause or something.

Anywho I asked if my guides would be willing to communicate through tarot and the flame danced again and then I watched for another minute or so after, saying some random things here and there. At one point I watched the flame go completely towards me and sort of move left to right and then I saw it start to sort of make this o shape, I really found that to be interesting and it sort of mesmerized me.

After that I did a tarot reading and cot damn it was a good one. I felt more connected with the cards and my guides. I felt like I really was learning more and challenging my incredibly adhd (Which has also been raging lately) heavy mind.

Now I've done a bit of research into the meaning of the flame I had tonight and I feel pretty good and confident in my spell. Of course it is a small one but I'm not trying to mess with anything crazy for a first spell.

I found the meaning behind the direction the flame goes. Now I'm horrendous with direction so I can't speak which direction it was going but for reference for myself

North: If the flame flickers toward the north, it's said to be an indication that the cause is a physical one, not from a spirit.

East: A flame flickering toward the east indicates the mental part of your spell is working.

South: The bending of the flame toward the south demonstrates a great deal of physical energy surrounds your intent.

West: When the candle flame tilts to the west, it reveals the depth and energy of very strong emotions that are part of the spell work.

I also discovered as I went back for reference that a blue flame flickering can mean that a spirit is present, a red or yellow flame can mean a spirit is not present bit that it doesn't make the flame any less powerful.

Okay yes, fun learning. I want to add before I go that I need to look into 'A little book on candle magic' by DJ Conway.

Random fun things to note though while we're here:

Pup and I have matching Christmas pajamas which are super cute, the rents are trying to come and visit for the giving of thanks which could murder any relationship I have with my sister's, I've been looking at RVs which is fun, the new bakery will be opening late December/early January 🤩🤩, and we are so fucking close to 2020 being over finally!!!

All in all, I've been pretty happy, I'm at a good mental spot, I'm proud of my growing and honestly this is the first year that I can remember where I can smile and say "yeah there's been some shit but I've fought every fight with everything I had, picked myself up from every downfall, kept fighting and won every battle." It's been a year that's felt like 10, but fuck man, I feel like I gained the knowledge of those 10 years. I'm by no means a 34 year old, but fuck . I feel the blessings coming my way though, I know they will and I accept them all with open arms, an open mind, and an open heart 💓

Also 'Movement' by Hozier, I don't know why yet but my guides sent that song to me a few times today, so I'm making note of it.

Okay that is all for now 💕🌻😊