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wylanzahn · 3 months ago

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New-ish post, kinda posting this on different platforms and getting a general vibe check for some ideas I have. But basically this Halloween I want to actually do something for the TTRPG and Actualplay world (oh yeah I’m into those kinds of things). I want to try and get both players, GMs, and casual viewers alike something fun to look forward to this especially spooky season. I’ll probably talk a little more when we get closer to the actual season of scare-giving but just know that if you’re interested I’m still looking for people to join in!!

As my team and I’d first debut we’re going to try and do a two to four session actual play, which will probably be released in the weeks leading up to Halloween. We’ve had a couple good friend way in on the matter of “setting” but now I come to you fine folk. Mind you this is a horror campaign/arc so if…

Isn’t your thing, keep on a moving.

But without further ado here are a couple of the possible settings for our players, and myself, this coming espookee season…

1.) Somewhere off the coast of Florida, 1926 end of the first major housing boom in the state, a small island which calls back to the Spanish Empire, is Isla Boñyela, a small port made tourist location during the boom of disposable wealth in 1920s America. A small group of friends from the northeast tag along down for the perfect paradise vacation. Only to discover the island is much much older than anyone could have ever assumed. Whilst dealing with upstart gangsters, unnerving US soldiers, and the terrified locals they find something older than even undead conquistadors.

While I don’t have a working title, this is an old project in the running which I’ve had a few attempts at revamping over time. Its previous title was “perfect paradise vacation,” and runs on the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition game. Anywho it’s a blast of fun with Caribbean lore, tone of anti-imperialism, and something dark lurking beneath the waves.

2.) 1950’s America, the nonexistent state of Mid-Atlantia (DMV coded) in a small suburban neighborhood where nothing goes wrong… it’s almost “All-Hallows-Eve” and little Johnny and Susie want nothing more than to trick or treat this year with all the big kids, Dad’s finally getting the big promotion at work, and Mom just got a new waffle iron! Sure everything is neat here in America. Heck you just got new neighbors! Newlyweds in fact from somewhere big and fancy, they sure aren’t like any of us in our simple town. But… and you can’t say exactly why but things are different. Or perhaps they’re all too the same? Everyday a repeat of ever other bland day that followed you over and over and over and over… and you could swear, while no one may listen to you there’s someone out there. Stalking you from outside your own home- or- perhaps, he’s just your friendly new neighbor welcoming you… to the end.

Ahhhhhh! I’ve also been working on this one for a sec and god writing it out does excite me. This is also a Call of Cthulhu game but modified/homebrewed to have a uniquely 1950s horror feel. This is definitely one of the more unique games I’ve written and am truly interested in seeing where it goes (even if we don’t choose it). This is for those who feel like isolation, fear of the unknown, fear from within, and liminal space horror comes best into play! So whadya say neighbor?

3.) The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend, or How I Learned to Love Strahd, okay so this one is a lot less horror-y and falls much more under the comedic spooky category, just so yall know. Deep in the middle of Barovia, the ancient kingdom of Vampires, meets a council of Count Strahd von Zarovich's greatest commanders and lieutenants to hunt down Strahd's greatest enemy Rudolph van Richten and his party of heroes known as "The Grape-Smashers." Strahd's lieutenants have been gifted powers greater than any mere mortals, but are these gifts enough to stop Van Richten, or even enough to stop the personal ambitions of each other? Come find out in "How I Learned to Love Strahd."

Okay, as much as this may seem like a joke suggestion it cracks me up and I feel like it would be ill-advised of me to not at least mention it. In an era where "The Curse of Strahd," is well-overdone at this point, it's worth a take from an all evil "revenge story." Obviously this will be in Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition, which, in my opinion, is really hard to use for horror, but this is a nice go-around. Come for the evil PCs, maybe a PvP battle or two, and a game of intrigue in the shadows of Barovia! All that and a buff Van Richten.

4.) Before Annapolis was ever called such it was known as Providence, a settlement of exiled Puritans in the Province of Maryland, but these early days were no easy set-up for the far-flung protestants... in the mid 1600s the English Civil War spilled out into their holdings across the waves as brother turned on brother, clan erasing clan, and something from the shores of the Old World would arrive in the New. When around every corner could be someone you've known your whole life, what's stopping them from hunting you in the depths of winter. All matters made worse when rumors of a witch begins circulating your small home.

Think "The VVitch" (2015) meets "A Field in England" (2013) meets Atun Shei's recent film "The Sudsbury Devil" (2023). It is the unexplored wilderness of early colonial Maryland, but the hateful warmongering that slowly builds that makes the horror and tension so clear. Unsure of what system we'll be using, but maybe the new Regency Cthulhu system.

5.) The Great Baltimore Fire of 1904 destroyed some 140 Acres of Baltimore proper... and in it's rubble awakened something far worse. But you and your fellow survivors are just trying to get by in the aftermath of the fire... only for something to call out, whether some strange magicks or perhaps just a sickness... but sickness doesn't even linger like this... it doesn't call to you...

Some more local history, aspiring from the actual Fire of 1904 things quickly devolve from there as rumors of a cult begin to spread along the streets of Rosland Park... a mysterious illness leaving even more dead... and the death of an eclectic professor. Definitely using the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition for this one.

Aaaaaaaand that's it! Let me know what y'all think!

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elendsessor · 6 months ago

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lesser known megaten spin-offs are weird: ddsat edition

ok i’ve always wanted to talk about the long history of megaten spin-offs, since not only are a ton of them japanese-exclusive and on mobile phones, there’s quite a few bits of supplementary reading.

when it comes to digital devil saga, it’s actually a bit more straightforward than other supplementary material for older atlus titles, as the plots follow events pre-dds or during dds, with quantum being a retelling based on some of the original ideas for the duology that never saw the light of day.

but i’ve straight up never heard of this one and only today discovered its existence while browsing tags on a fairly abandoned blog. in fact… i don’t know if anyone knows about it. i’ve seen some of the short stories like dogdays mentioned in the past but never this one.

i’m assuming this is mostly because it’s a separate story set in universe, is a one shot, and wasn’t written by yu godai.

this is digital devil saga: avatar turner: shinen no matou (“tower of the abyss”) written by moheji yamasaki.

i can’t find a translation of this and i’m not willing to trust ai to do the translating, and there are barely any scans out there. the only ones i could find were from the post i found the manga through, but the account is deactivated. (i reblogged it so here’s some of the scans.) congrats lemniscation for being one of maybe 5 people who know about this, i salute you and hope you are well wherever you are.

and yes the atma avatars are original designs not seen anywhere else, or so i can assume. maybe there’s a mystical other spin off that uses them. idk.

now i know fandom wikis tend to have varying levels of accuracy, but there is a page on the megami tensei fandom wiki and some info is better than none. the manga was apparently published in 2005 and there is one named character listed on the wiki. one.

give it up for kyle, the goofy blue haired dude on the cover. that’s our protagonist. the end.

yeah there’s nothing else i could find. at least the mobile game has a basic plot outline and hey it even details how sheffield’s the final boss yay????

there’s a lot of untranslated stuff from around this time period, such as the entirety of the dsrk lite novel, but this one stands out because of just how different it is. i’m not surprised at the lack of information—being japan exclusive in the early-mid-2000s back when a niche american audience was already at the most niche it could get does it no favors, but if anyone does have scans or links to scans, translated or not, please share them because this is actually cool.

#shantien rambles #digital devil saga #dds #ddsat #megaten

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theminecraftbee · 1 year ago

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did anything in particular make you decide to study grief through solving counting sheep? very much enjoyed chapter 16 but augh my heart

this one’s under a cut because I ramble a LOT here!

so: SORT OF! it’s a long story!

so scs was ALWAYS gonna be about identity. even from day one, when half my original thought was “doing this from three’s perspective would be funny”, there wasn’t a world where the story wasn’t largely about identity, because this is the kind of story you can’t tell at all without it being about that. like it was maybe day two or three of waffling about this au, at least a month before I would actually commit to writing it, that I went “oh three isn’t actually really grian” (albeit in a different way than I ended up exploring it here).

the part about grief came later.

originally, the theme of grief came about because I was trying to decide WHY martyn was about and stealing watchers. that’s when I remembered a common watcher!grian trope: it’s fairly common (at least on the watcher!grian I’ve read, which to be fair is limited) for grian to have assumed the evo crowd was dead and vis versa. and I was like. aha! martyn can be attacking the watchers in vengeance for grian being dead! then I’ll be able to REALLF play with the dramatic irony if already wanted to use, where no one but the audience knew three was grian, because there’s another angle to work at that on!

cue: oh no wait this is about grief again. (see: tumblr post that I’m pretty sure is still semi-viral.)

the thing is, oftentimes “the evo crew thought grian was dead” is played for grian angst, which makes sense in grian-focused angst fics (this is not shade). but I was like. but that’d fuck up the people involved, right. like having your fun mystery game ended by someone actually getting murdered would tear basically everyone there apart, and that’s not even considering that the evo gang isn’t the WORLD’S most communicative people already. so I went… what if I made the story about that? what if, alongside being about three and identity, it was about the evo crew, grief, and how trauma can fuck up your relationships in unique and messy ways?

plus, like. this is a winter soldier fic. a staple here is “the moment steve realizes the winter soldier is bucky”, and while in three’s arc that bit is almost all about it taking the final step to establish its own independent identity, in the other’s arcs, that’s when they have to come to terms with who three used to be. and like, even in a world where three is uncomplicatedly grian, that’s a pretty big grief to have to unpack all over again. but this is a world where three is not grian, where I realized I’d have to tag mcd despite the character who died sort of also being alive, etc. at least there, grief would have to be explored.

also, for the weight of “grian and am I him” to actually hit three, three has to have an idea of how heavy grian is. like, in the original version I had pearl with the line “oh my god why are you grian” as a joke, and three responding “who is grian”. (oh, the early darlings of this au I killed.) but that doesn’t actually hit the same way, thematically, right? because it works best if once the reveal happens, we all know how much of a shadow grian casts.

in that way it comes back to the theme of identity, because identity here is therefore kind of intrinsically linked to grief. that final hurdle three has to cross to figure itself out of “can I define who I am out from under this shadow” doesn’t work unless everyone is really grieving for that shadow, yeah?

and, well, I’m me. I can’t avoid writing grief that long, it’s a theme I tend to gravitate back towards all the time. it makes sense in a fic that ended up actually being somewhat personal thematically that I’d end up back there.

it’s just one of those things. I realized martyn was there to avenge grian and then realized the story all worked so much better if it was about grief.

anyway this was a REALLY LONG RAMBLE but I hope you liked it! a glimpse into my thoughts I guess.

#answered #thegaythespian #solving counting sheep talk #this is a meta ramble I wrote at one am so SOREY IF ITS INCOHERENT AND CIRCUITOUS AT POINTS #I JUST WANTED TO BE THOROUGH…

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hawkstincan · 6 months ago

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Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @kitkatt0430 thanks for the tag <3<3<3

1. Do you make your bed?

Nope. I dropped making my bed as soon as my mom moved out. Maybe even before that. I sleep on two blankets and under a blanket. It’s just easier. And I toss a lot in my sleep and shits were always on the floor in the morning anyway. So I just stopped wasting my time and energy on making bed

2. Favorite number?

I consider 666 and 13 lucky ones. And have a soft spot for 6 and 9

3. What’s your job?

Post office. Night shifts. Salary sucks but it’s like two steps from my apartment and I spend most of the shift alone there

4. If you could go back to school would you?

Honestly? No. I’m too anxious to go back to learning. I dropped out the first time around. And I don’t really have passion for any subject to put myself through this kind of struggle. If I ever find something worth it maybe, but for now no

5. Can you parallel park?

Nope, I’ve never learned how to drive

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I don’t have a strong opinion. But with the size of the Universe? I thinks that’s quite a possibility

7. Can you drive a manual car?

Nope, I’ve never learned how to drive

8. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Hmm, Catwoman (2004) and other movies/shows I love but they are considered bad. And yeah, I know that catwoman is bad. But Halle Berry is so beautiful! And I have working eyes! (A Beginner's Guide to Endings on the other hand rated like 6 on imdb. I? I unironically think it’s a masterpiece)

9. Tattoos?

Yep! I have four for now: snake biting its tail on my right ankle (it goes around the ankle like a bracelet); flying crow on my right hand below the elbow; mass effect inspired geth crawling on my left shoulder and lightning and snowflakes (if you’re thinking it was inspired by ship you are right) all over my left hand below the elbow. Lightning goes on my palm and point finger. If I have more ‘spare’ money… I’ll get some more. I have ideas and places.

10. Favorite color?

Purple since I fell in love with hawkeye. And it was black for the most of my life. I still love black.

11. Favorite type of music?

Rock. Or metal? Or hard rock? I never thought too much about the types. So lets say rock. All the rock

12. Do you like puzzles?

Kinda? I like them but they are usually very hard for me to solve. And I hate feeling stupid. I like idea but rarely try to really solve them

13. Any phobia?

Insectophobia. I can’t even go near some bugs. Just nope. I once almost jumped under the car to avoid a bug

14. Favorite childhood sport?

Badminton. We never played by any rules. Just ‘do everything you can to keep the shuttlecock in the air’. And I was good at it. At school we once played with tennis rackets for almost two hours. Good times

15. Do you talk to your self?

All the time xD Sometimes aloud. “You are a strong capable woman you CAN STOP READING AND FINISH THIS” can be heard every shift from me to me. Luckily I’m the only one hearing this xD

16. What movies do you adore?

Wrath of Man and Pacific Rim and all Resident Evil movies (with Milla Jovovich) and 10 Things I Hate About You and Bring It On and MASH and From Dusk Till Dawn are my comfort movies/shows. I love the Critters trilogy. I love the new Star Trek trilogy. Nightmare on Elm Street (old ones). The Gentlemen. Old Guard. Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (I rewatched it like four times in a row). The Suicide Squad. The Boondock Saints. Ten Inch Hero. Drive Angry… Well. Like. I have weird taste in movies I guess? (I’ve mentioned only movies I saw more than 5 times)

17. Coffee or tea?

Coffee. I can't find balance with tea. It’s either tasteless or makes me sick because it’s too strong. Coffee I can drink non stop. Hot and cold, instant and beans. I love the bitter taste of coffee.

18. First thing you wanted to be growing up

Veterinarian, I think. I always loved animals and thought that being the one to heal them is the best career ever

Tagging (no pressure): @holycafe, @nixie-deangel, @luna-shimizu, @bedalk, @madsteacup, @mommalosthermind, @eaion, @thing2dani and whoever feels like participating :3

#thanks for the tag!#tag game #get to know me tag game

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bonesandthebees · 8 months ago

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I care about Rose! In fact, we started watching house of dragon (only 2 episode so far though) and it constantly makes me think of Rose because you use it as inspiration. Like obviously there’s the coronation scene which reminds me of stars. And there’s the character Willum is sorta kinda inspired by. And it’s an entirely different world, but every time I’m drawn back to Rose wondering how things will play out. (Which is not pressure to finish writing it if you don’t want to. Writer’s block can be a bitch and I get that the motivation for this project has been sucked out, but I just want you to know that I still care, and I’m not the only one.)

Also, I’ve been meaning to start my Ready, Set, Detonate analysis but I keeps getting away from me. I’m not sure there will be much to analyse, but there’s definitely fun details I want to point out. Oh and I am Looking 👀 at the fit/pac tag and kicking my feet. I don’t actually know if they are already in a relationship (I’m sure we’ll find out, but I just loved Fit’s little “Pac’s here?” That man is gone. Oh and I’m so excited for this Tubbo and to read more Bagi and the lore. Just all of it.

Then the original writing is a mood. I keep getting like a few chapters into my story before deciding it’s not good enough or thinking of something else I could do and throwing it all out. It’s this constant loop that never seems to get anywhere even though the story gets more and more fleshed out in my head every time. I think it’s because the opportunities are endless. Like there’s no characters and personalities and dynamics to stick to like there is in fan fiction. It’s free game but that does mean you have to decide everything yourself.

Anyway, best original writing advice I can give is remember the drafting process. There’s going to be a shit ton of drafts, which feels different for you because you’ve been mostly writing stories and posting them as you go, which means some minor or major editing, but leaves you without a chance to do a once over. It’s a sort of pressure to get everything right the first time. Meanwhile, original writing is something you keep close to your chest. There’s different drafting stages ranging from the zero draft (aka excessive daydreaming about all the possibilities) to the final draft (where you just go through and kill all your darlings and pour over ever single word to find the right one).

I’m struggling a lot with the first draft, which is literally just getting words onto a page. It’s a somewhat coherent mess that just allows you to shape the story and its structure so you can work off of that and edit it later on. I don’t know if this actually helps, but yeah, the first draft sucks and then it mostly gets easier. Just write, is kinda shitty advice, but it’s mainly, just get words onto a page, you will get a million chances to fix it, you don’t need to be happy about what you wrote right now.

-🌲

ohhhh I'm so excited you've started watching hotd!! good timing since the second season is going to come out later this year :D I hope you enjoy!! and I'm so happy to hear you're still excited about rose. I definitely want to finish writing it, like I said it's just me worrying about if anyone will bother to read it but a lot of you have said you would so that helps assuage my worries a bit

feel free to send whatever random thoughts you have about ready set detonate you know idc if it's analysis or not I just love seeing peoples reactions!! fit and pac are not in a relationship (yet) in the fic but theres a lot of flirty pining going on lol

god yeah it's so much harder with original fiction because it feels like there's so much pressure. you have too much freedom to do whatever you want so you're constantly second guessing if it's good enough or not. and ofc I know rough drafts are supposed to be shitty but I've tried to hone my skills so that my first draft is always incredibly solid because I rarely have the patience to do heavy edits, but that's with fanfiction. it has to be different with original fiction I know but it's hard to make my brain okay with that. I keep feeling like it needs to be nearly perfect on the first run :( but yeah I'm mostly trying to get words on a page. but then I think back and realize I forgot to mention this or I need to mention more of that etc etc and it's just stressful arghhh

#ask #spruce anon

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riverwriter · 1 year ago

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20 Questions Game

Thanks for the tag @suzyq31

How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total A03 words count?

1,044,549

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Harry Potter, though I’ve written for others that were never published.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Second Look: Her best friend's life was a mess and she would have done anything to make things better for him and his sons. So, when she found her former enemy in a similar situation her heart went out to him as well... and the beautiful blond baby in his arms didn't hurt his case. It was certainly enough for her to give him a second look.

An Unexpected Malfoy: Once upon a time Hermione Granger literally ran into Draco Malfoy in a bookshop. His mother sees a connection between her son and the muggleborn that she can't ignore and determines to get to know the girl. An imagining of how things could have gone if Hermione had been taken under the wing of the Malfoy family.

A Few New Looks: Glimpses into Draco, Hermione, and Scorpius' life as a family. A sequel to my story, "A Second Look."

The Beginning of Everything: Draco extracted a box from his pocket and flipped it open to reveal the most exquisite ring Hermione had ever seen. She gasped. "No Granger, I meant I literally have a proposal for you," he held her gaze as he spoke. "What do you say? Marry me and help me put one over on the Ministry. I know you're dying to stick it to them." This is a fic which is ostensibly about a marriage law.

Calla: She had been missing for more than ten years. But then she had dark magic cast on her in the Department of Mysteries, and that insidious curse did more than just injure her physically. It revealed a secret, a truth. Hermione Granger could finally be recognized as the girl she’d been at birth: Calliope Nott.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try, but not always.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think anything I’ve written would qualify. I”m all about the HEA.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Haha, see above.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yep, it seems to be, unfortunately, part and parcel to posting things on the internet.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. I was very shy about it at first. I think I’ve relaxed but it’s still not a major aspect of my fics. (Just not my style.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t. I’ll never say never but the closest I’ve ever come is “The Other Side” which is heavily influenced by the TV show “Fringe.”

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I’ve had fics posted on other sites without my permission, but as far as I’m aware, nobody has ever taken credit for my work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

People have started but never finished. It’s one reason I have stopped granting permission for translations.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Haha yes, unfortunately my cowriter and I live too far away from each other that we couldn’t make it work. It’s been years but we still talk about trying to figure out how to finish it. (fingers crossed)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I spend most of my free time writing Dramione so I suppose that’s the answer. But I love so many ships, even outside of the HP fandom.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Yeah, I refuse to admit that will happen. Unless you count “Various and Sundry” because-by its nature- it has no beginning and no end.

I16. What are your writing strengths?

When I get going I am very plugged in. I occasionally wake up and scribble a thought down so I don’t lose it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. And I stupidly wrote a huge fic that concludes in a…battle. If any of you wonder what I’ve been doing for years, it’s been figuring out my own brain.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’m not a fan. Also not a fan of writing out an accent.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bones. But I was never brave enough to post any of those fics.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

“An Unexpected Malfoy” It’s my baby and probably always will be.

This part gives me anxiety, because I never know who to tag, so anybody who wants to participate, please do! (And if you want to tag me, do that as well, because I’d love to read your responses)

#fanfic writing #riverwriter #hp

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teatin · 1 year ago

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fic stats meme

Thanks for tagging me, @visualheresy!

rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

(All fics are Leon/Ada.)

Fic with most hits: in the quiet daylight, 3,975 hits

When Ada finally looks at him, she can’t stop the plea that falls from her lips. “Stay.” "That's usually my line," he says. "You're not being fair, Ada." “I know you,” she replies. “I know what you want.” “Oh yeah?” he edges even closer to her, a challenging look in his eyes. “And what is that?” She meets his gaze unflinchingly. “The same thing I do.” (Or: A seemingly typical one-night stand in Europe turns into something much more permanent. Leon, Ada, and the art of building a life backwards.)

Second most kudos: these treacherous desires, 227 kudos

He turns his gaze back on her, his expression loaded yet inscrutable. “You do it so well,” he shakes his head. “Acting like you really care.” The words hit her, sudden and stinging. “You don’t think I do?” He looks at her, the way one might look at an indecipherable puzzle. She supposes that in a way, that’s what she is to him. “Honestly, I don’t really know what to think anymore.” (Or: Leon and Ada, falling apart and growing back together.)

Third most comments: all the roads we didn't walk, 15 comment threads

They meet for the first time in a dying city headed for destruction. What happens next? Infinite possibilities, each with its own triumphs and tragedies. Just how many ways can a single story be told? Let's find out. Or: Leon and Ada; beginnings and endings, and the in-between. Six alternate retellings of their story. (Alternatively: Five endings that never happened, and one that just might.)

Fourth most bookmarks: to our phantoms yet to come, 65 bookmarks

She looks at him meaningfully, and when she speaks again there’s a candor in her voice that he desperately wants to believe but isn’t sure he’s ready to. “Would it be so hard to believe that I simply wanted to see you?” He laughs, and it sounds so foreign that he’s momentarily taken aback. “Considering I’ve heard nothing from you for the last six years? Kinda, yeah.” “Still holding a grudge over that, aren’t you?” Ada says, and the levity of it all is enough to set him on edge again. “Evidently you didn’t need my help figuring out the truth.” Leon shoots her a look. “Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have been nice to hear it from you.” (Or: In the aftermath of Spain, Leon and Ada struggle to rebuild their trust in each other.)

Fifth most words: so stay a little while, 8,470 words

Ada sighs dramatically. “Can’t a girl drop in on an old friend without being interrogated within an inch of her life?” “Oh, is that what we are now?” Leon raises an eyebrow. “Old friends?” Ada cocks her head at his response, and for a single terrifying moment, Leon wonders if he’d shown his hand too early. Nearly two decades in, and somehow being around her still feels like playing a losing game, like walking down a meandering path toward certain, inevitable defeat. “What we are has always been up to you." (Or: A familiar face crashes Leon's post-Alcatraz staycation, bringing buried emotions and half-healed wounds to the surface.)

Fic with the fewest words: certain perfect blissful moments, 1,000 words

The question catches him mid-nap on a breezy Tuesday.“Do you ever regret it?” “Regret what?” he asks. She averts her gaze, instead trailing her fingers across his skin in a pattern he does not recognize. “This. Leaving your entire life behind.” He chuckles. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve got it right here with me.” (Or: In a near-distant future, Leon and Ada contemplate the choices that have led them where they are.)

Tagging (no pressure) @hiraeth-doux and @neezuko and anyone who wants to do this!

#fic stats meme #aeon #leon x ada #ada x leon

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underragingwaves · 2 years ago

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2022 End of Year Fic Review

I was tagged by @ulfrsmal (ty for the tag and the sweet mention!) and, uhm, I got a little wordy in this one. Please do click the readmore if you want some fic recs! 😘

1. What is your AO3 account?

captainkilly is my main account that features all my fics, but all my Vikings fics in particular can be found under the pseud underragingwaves

2. How many words did you write total in 2022?

197,158 words, not including the fics that were Tumblr-only.

3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?

12 fics in total, of which 3 were multichapters. (I am counting the one fic I began publishing in 2021 and updated in 2022 among these as well.)

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

The longest one that I updated in 2022 is homeland, heartland (which sits at a comfortable 63k and counting), but I didn’t begin publishing that in 2022. The longest fic that I published entirely in 2022 is The Ascendancy Seat, which clocks in at 60k.

My shortest fic is leavetaking, which lands around 2k.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?

If we’re counting homeland, heartland, then that’s the most popular one in hits/kudos/bookmarks by far. Secondmost popular in terms of hits is the Ivar-centric massive undertaking The Ascendancy Seat, but in terms of kudos/bookmarks the honor goes to another Ivar-centric fic called ouroboros.

Least popular fic is the aforementioned leavetaking, but that is because I only recently uploaded it to AO3 and now backdated it to reflect its original publication date. I think it’s one of those hidden gem fics, haha, because I loved writing this as a missing scene and it allowed me to work with Ragnar instead of the usual suspects.

6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?

Honestly, I don’t think I publish anything and expect it to ‘perform’ in any way? I am used to people finding my fics and faceplanting in them whenever, which means that some of my fics initially don’t do so well in terms of hits/kudos but eventually grow into crowd pleasers. I can never predict which one will take off months from now, lol. That said, I think I wanted more people to give the reverie protocol a chance – I know it’s not an AU that immediately incites folks to read it, but I just love the way this one sang on the page for me personally.

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

ouroboros. It is not at all my fave of the fics I’ve written, and I raise my eyebrow at its popularity even though I know that its premise (Ivar-centric smutty stuff) is this fandom’s form of catnip. I have a hard time writing something that is outright smut – it’s a journey for me that I experimented more with in 2022 – and while I’m making the best sort of googly eyes at the OC I wrote for this fic (Malika my beloved) I really do not think it is my best and I’m still surprised when people pick that one over some of my better works.

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?

I’m actually going to name 3 fics for various reasons, haha.

First up is The Juniper Tree, in a hands-down-no-contest sort of way. That fic was a work of love for me and returned a sense of stillness and certainty to my writing process that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It is one of those fics I can say ‘wrote itself’, and I love it unbelievably much. Y’all know I love Ubbe best of all and getting to write this whole multichapter from his POV was just… yeah, I had a good cry about this one by the time I completed it. A really special writing experience that I think is my best work to date.

Secondly, The Warlord’s Wake was probably the most… cathartic to write. I had played with this post-series idea for a good long while until I finally started this fic, and it gave me the closure that I think I honestly needed in terms of where Hvitserk’s story ended in the series. I really wanted to write a fic in which Hvitserk had used his position in Alfred’s court to play a very long game that would eventually return him to his feral pagan bastard ways. It was a good thing for me to get to express this, especially because I have seen a fair few fics and opinions in this fandom regarding Hvitserk’s conversion to Christianity (and the Christian-centric narrative some people choose to uphold) that make me feel supremely salty and quite upset.

Last, I’m going to go ahead and name The Maker’s Path. This is the lone fic I wrote for a different fandom, namely Dune, and I got so horribly creative with the prompt I wrote it for that I just need to squee about it some more. I always thought Dune would be impossible to write for (like Black Sails, it’s one of those things that’s just perfect to me the way it is) but I found a little neat corner somewhere in the book’s folds and movie’s visuals that allowed me to put this fic to the page. Getting to work with a Sardaukar character as well as a Fremen character was a cool exercise that only got more pleasing when I managed to include my own favorite character (Alia) toward the end.

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

Gonna be that person and name 5 for funsies!

Greedy Gods, by @vikingstrash (stellar Aslaug-centric work, I always love how Yume writes Aslaug and this was a lovely ‘missing piece’ of canon to me)

Gatekeeper, by @ritual-unions (I still don’t know how I survived this one and when I say it lives rentfree in my brain y’all had better believe it)

Gnothi Sauthon, by @bouncehousedemons (you know it’s good when I make hearteyes at a reader pairing, okay? this is just comfort food)

Reactions Of Your Kind, by @ulfrsmal (Ubbe/Hvitty goodness that essentially catapulted a friendship – I’m very fond of this one, and it’s a definite pick-me-up)

This lovely Freydis & Liv prompt fill by @mercurygray (it’s in my head a lot, as it has perfectly captured the dynamics between the Valhalla characters and I love the ‘outsider’ POV of Harald in this piece)

10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!

@vikingstrash, @mercurygray, @pomprincesse, if y’all have done this I apologize for tagging ya. Also tagging anyone who writes fic in our lil fandom and wants to do an end of year close-out! 😊

#I love doing these year in reviews #wrote a lot more than I thought 😳#anyway y'all please consider yourselves tagged!! give some love to your work and to other people's things go go go

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playitagainmyjohnny · 2 years ago

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uh hi * waves * . i know i don’t really uh . talk much . here . but well ! it’s the end of the year and that felt like cause for . idk . whatever it is i’m attempting here lol . so anyway . the year is ending ! the year is ending . i started this blog back in november of 2021 and then in 2022 i got far cry 5 . on march 1st, by pure chance, i posted a set . and then i thought huh, that was the first of the month, might as well try for a set on the 2nd, and yeah sure why not make one for the 3rd too . at some point i realized that march was fc5′s release anniversary and that just seemed too perfect to waste so i decided fuck it, i’ll do a new fc5 set every day for the month, to celebrate its release, and then . well tbh i had no idea what i was gonna do after march ended really lmao . i guess i didn’t really have any plans for after that, not that i was going to quit posting or anything, just that i had no idea if i was going to stick to the whole new-post-a-day thing i had going on or scale back but well, here i am . i’ve managed to somehow make a new post every single day since march 1st and decided to aim for a year of new sets ( so i have about 2 more months to go i think ) but after that ? * shrugs * fuck if i know . again lmao . maybe i’ll just see how long i can keep going making a post a day until i give up, forget, this site dies, or . whatever the fuck else happens i guess ! but i want to say to everyone that’s been here, no matter how long : thank you . really and truly, from the bottom of my heart : thank you . i never really thought i’d garner much attention at all for my shots, so to have any number of people here is really amazing, let alone the number i’ve somehow reached . i read every single tag and comment i get on my photos, multiple times, and all of the sweet and kind words i’ve received have done so, so much for me . i feel like my words really can’t express the entirety of it, but please know that i read every word . i appreciate every word . part of why i’ve stuck at this so long is because of those kind words, because of knowing i’m bringing other people joy with what i’m doing . and please know too that you also bring me so much joy !! every note, every kind tag, every interaction ... i treasure all of it . * falls over * i’m really excited to keep shooting more in 2023 ! i got a few new games this past year, and i’ve had a wonderful time taking pictures in them, as well as just playing them in general . hopefully i can pick up some fun things in 2023 as well and take even more shots !!

anyway anyway . i think that’s about all i have to say ( i’ve rambled on enough as is lol ) . so i’ll end with a final thank you for being here ! i love you . and happy new year 🖤

#uh please don't reblog maybe ?#( sorry i use the legacy editor so i can't actually set this to not be rebloggable i just have to ask y'all and pray lmao )#anyway uh thank you all for being here with me #really and truly #and if you've ever left a kind word in the tags or as a comment please know i read every single word of it and i thank you so so much #i love all of you #happy new year !!!#* auld lang syne starts playing in the background *#edited this shit like it was a fucking fic lmao #personality module #🖤🖤🖤

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abstractdiagram · 1 month ago

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Hellooooo down there! Ye be warned TMI and bizzarity (is that a word?) is ahead.

I have been stuck in a loop of WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY DRAFTS

FOR THIRTY MINUTES!

Finally found them by signing in on not-mobile and dicking about there for far too long. Guess what. No fuckin drafts. So I had a lovely preface basically for this same post but now I’ve lost two trains of thought and I can vaguely remember… uh. Yeah I remember. How the new game I had been playing for an hour before starting that post was making me think I was running out of holes for the letters so the letters could fall down. And how I fucken went to the Transformers One movie even though I had zero interest and he won’t do fuck all anything for me. I told him he had a month to stop ignoring me except when he needs emotional/moral support and make an effort because if I wanted to be ignored I’d have … well. I’ve never stayed with someone who ignored me so I have no examples to give. An ouroboros of … shit. I took too long trying to spell that word.

I don’t know what I hate more. The fact that we can’t get his depression under control even with actually qualified professionals’ help or that now he has no libido and no fucks to give AND depression.

I’ve surprisingly been doing ok. A bit better than ok because I’ve been able to write. Like visualize in brain AND get it into print/screen/cloud. This current fic didn’t flow right by hand. One I started it in the default iPhone notes (can hackers get me easier now?!?!! Do they want Harry Potter m/m Tomarry fan fic? My lists of books by author? Triple crossed hockey sticks drafts?aaaaaasssssssssssssss) anyway. Fuck. I guess now I won’t link it…. Fuck it. I have an iPhone. They have everything about me from shoe size to triple crossed hockey sticks I prefer.

Except I can’t figure out how to do it. It’s been 9tened minutes and the damn snake is back again eating its own tail like a ouroboros of dumbass.

Archive of our own: Harry Potter and the Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of This Bitch by AbstractDiagram

(me!) heed warnings and tags my darlins because I’m too loony toons raised up to list or even remember em here.

Speaking of warnings. Reactivate!

I want to talk about important stuff. Nope. Brain supplies “breasts need attention” to which I replied? “Mine or hers?” Brain: “malfunction. Error. ‘Just whomst the fuck is “hers”’ referring too-est?”

(Did I just get a quote in a quote in a quote? Yes I did Other Barry Other Abstract, yes I did.)

Me: JE Suis de FUCKING CHRIST ON STILETTO HELLS THAT WAS HARD THINK. First I thought the self-convo. Then I thought about thinking it so I could write it down where I had to think of the words were in the correct order. ANOTHER SHART-TROUSERED-TOGLODITE of an ouroboros!!!

Fuck. I wanted to link what I think is the second song on Vanilla Ice’s cassette. “Stop this Train I Wanna Get Off”. But the music search doesn’t know it. Or I’m misremembering some part of it and/or experiencing a personal Mandala Effect.

There’s just been a sound outside. Metallic clang. Like someone hitting a trash can lid. And my brain hole has convinced me there’s someone dressed as a clown outside the window that is less that a standard size man can reach away from me. I scared myself so bad I stopped breathing and only started again when I realized that standard size man is bad languages. Speaking of bad language can I say “sexist” and not get ban-hammered?

Bahahhahahahahah! Brain just sent a flood of what can only be referred to as grasshoppers in helium making my boobs jumpy and floaty. “Yo Bee-atch. Boobies. Need. Attention. But I’m talking with everyone in my blogosphere. But. If not boobies? Munchies? (🎵“Mon-chi-chi, Mon-chi-chi”🎵) I have got to get away from doing these thoughts in thoughts in thoughts like (🤯😡🤬😡🤬😠🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 say it with me now:) “an ouroboros.” Which. I can almost spell now. I’m close enough and/or attempted enough that the spell check gods have pity on me and throw it up there something about I can spell “ouroboros.” Almost.

Little lovelies if you made it this far, thank you.

There’s a man I need to see about a canoe. Or something like that. IT MEANS IMMA WATCH triple crossed hockey sticks videos (“Did I just do a recall <double - recall IN A MUTHAFUCKEN RECALL> inside an Ouroboros INSIDE ANOTHER RECALL Other Barry Other Abstract? Yes I did.”)

I may have to revisit it later because that had BETTER MAKE FUCKEN SENSE tomorrow or I’m gonna be very upset.

Brain promised me tits but I kept getting more snakes. I’m ever so pissed.

Fuck your two videos a post. For thou hast provided me with a Make A Gif button and I now have a gif of that video so there. That’s not the clip I wanted. Wait. Please hold.

Ok. So I wanted the “Tappa…” lady saying “I’m ever-so pissed.” But I decided I’d settle on the lady as posted above to use as this example by using it as in an example. (Ouroboros!) but then I could only find this Windy-oh’s 95 Paint flip book version and I realized. Oh fuck. House of rodent representative would shut that shit down. If you can’t see aforementioned lady’s image flickering above then I decided in (fuckING SNakEseses!) I decided to it not risk jt.

I just hallucinated two things in rapid succession and now I’m half petrified and half fidgeting nervous - and not too/bottom half or left/right halves. Fucking right arm (for typing) and left knee jostling. Other limbs left arm/right knee I can’t get to move. But as I looked at my phone the left half of my left eye’s visual field showed me a view out a window that I haven’t even seen the house the window is for thirty years. Oddly nostalgic dusty barely orange tone that made me smell summer weekend at Betty’s house. I could smell the cigarettes and beer and dogs and hot outside humidity. For a good ten seconds I was able to type (many errors! But I’m vain even highfalutin so I edit as I go) and see that wall, window, leaves, sky. But then (now too… if I cut off suddenly it was clowns in the window <re-call!>) there was another {ouroboros} metallic sound and

Shit there was one when I searched that that now I’m 3/4 petrified (but not the (Re-call) quarters you’d think. I have my right hand, my right toes up to my cramping-at-the-moment!!!-calf and the bottom of my left foot and left toes.

Ok well. Fucked that up by breaking paralysis to take picture of my cramped up 1/4th.

I have to stop here. I have to. I could do this “not Captain America quote.”

#i’m high #i am high #i’m hilarious #a legend in my own mind #how is that NOT an existing pop up for tags #that felt like a reeeeeally long sentence #fucking clowns #ouroboros #I still can’t fucking spell it #re-call in a re-call in a re-call #scared myself

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m1ckeyb3rry · 3 months ago

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That’s a good idea….will start check marking….. I’m also realizing I think part of the problem was I actually do press send sometimes but if the connection is spotty and I don’t realize I close out tumblr and then it never ends up fully loading/sending properly….

SHSHS I cant imagine that’d be comfortable with the dizziness…well uh..at least it’s over now!! Haha…..

OUUU wait that’s a good take…..it’s kinda funny I think I remember Isagi and Yuta having the same mbti too?? Not sure how accurate the typing actually is but I thought that was funny LOL but IM CRYING LMAOOOO you really said I need some spice in my life let’s switch it up

Honestly I would not be surprised if that ended up being the case like….after every single time we’ve manifested something into existence I’d be more surprised if it didn’t get manifested into reality LMAO

SHEGSHS every now and then I think about how I’m blowing up your inbox but omg another special tag I’m so honored LOL hope the ideas prove useful for when you’re in a slump!!

AHAHAHA atp trying to guess your final wc should just be a game im sure its at least mildly frustrating for you but I can’t lie every time it happens I chuckle a bit especially when you post it with that one ant meme LMFAOOA

Oh em gee very excited!! Whenever that comes out im gonna reread part 1 to refresh first LOL it’s ok we gotta give our man a break from being protag he’s been going through it LMAOAO between getting insulted by the love of his life in fwtkac the whole freaky Friday conflict and now bfb where he’s been pining since he could walk I

Gotta bless the other sectors of the fandom with your work….give them a taste of your writing then they’ll discover your blog read the Karasu fics and join Karasu nation…that’s the end goal LMAO atp you’re just overseeing all of bllknation covering every base

Hsjshsj glad it went well!! Struggle because of motion sickness I assume? Manifesting very hard that that goes away soon…

GAGAMARU AND YUKI LMAOOO ok that’s a pair I was not expecting ngl it’s ok it’s the power duo one blind one and one with super vision /j actually I feel like that’d be really funny like…since yuki is also a model he has such a refined vibe and as we know is very well mannered while gagamaru spends a lot of the time in the woods in the wilderness fighting bears or something LOL such opposite vibes

Yeah…like I get the shock factor thing but tbh to me that still doesn’t “justify it” to me LOL like it was just so sudden?? And there’s still so many holes like how’d she suddenly just appear good as new minus the one eye…no I fully agree like it was so random, not lead up not even a hint from the past what like 30 chapters?? Like they really just decided to throw her back into the ring at the last second….like we haven’t seen her since Shibuya arc and she somehow just spawned back like make it make sense…..tbh I think the “shock my readers” thing is such a gege thing to do :,) considering all the other comments we’ve heard from him LMAO but yeah the execution was not it……jjk fandom is also scary I see people getting eaten alive for “hot takes”

LMAO safe from kaiserism today…tbh I can’t see myself actually converting BUT the compass >>> the whole animal shelter dog scene was Lowk so cute I love the use of the dog’s own background in paralleling kaiser’s own situation! But that line “she’s my mother but I’m not her son” LITERARY GENIUS but also I’m crying when they talk about marriage and a wedding I’m fr just imagining ness just standing there alone on kaisers side something about the scene just seems so funny to me

- Karasu anon

tumblr is so glitchy sometimes i can’t even blame you 😔 the amount of times i’ve thought i posted something and didn’t or someone will send an ask and i just won’t get a notification for it??? same with dms and then people think i’m ignoring them but that’s not my intention at all 😭💔

yess they do have the same mbti!! and so does hiori apparently 🤔 tbh i tend to like characters who are sassier because they’re more like me so they’re easier to write/connect with (asshole karasu 🤝 asshole mira) but realistically in a relationship you can only rlly have one person like that the other needs to be nice or else it’s just stressful 😭 irl whenever i meet people who match my freak toooo well i get annoyed because like why are we only being mean to each other but when people start to get too moral abt it it’s like “oh it was never that deep” LMAOAAO there needs to be a happy medium of someone who finds it funny and can throw a jab or two out there when necessary but for the most part they’re just chilling 😩 which lowkey IS isagi (and hiori) now that i think abt it but NOOOO if i convert to isagism what will become of me

HFJDJSSJ okay random kiyora headcanons speedrun (kaneshiro if you’re watching these are fire pls include them in the manga): he ran cross country for one year during the soccer off season and he liked it because he could listen to music during races but it wasn’t competitive enough for him so he quit, he’s lowkey fire at either knitting or crochet but no one knows (he’s not shy abt it though it’s just that no one talks to him for long enough to realize), and he got a pet umbrella cockatoo after watching the movie rio in theaters

NO I LOVE GETTING THE NOTIFICATION YOU SENT AN ASK it’s so fun to read them 🥹 and PLSS honestly it’s less frustrating and more just like 😨 whenever the word count gets crazy long because for the most part i’m just happy to be providing 😩 the only thing that worries me is when i take too long writing smth rlly long and people think i’m on hiatus 😭 like no i’m still here it’s just that this one shot is now novel length so…

okay wait genuinely multiple people have been converted to karasu nation because of me LMAOAOA especially bfb and fwtkac…honestly it’s a role i’m proud to play 🤩🙏🏻 but yes atm i need to expand my outreach/not make karasu suffer any longer he’s been through it in the miraverse as of late 😟 i’m excited for cherry tree pt2 i think it’s probably going to be shorter but very cute 🥹 which yk cute and rin don’t necessarily go together very naturally given how he is but trust i will make it work 🤩

HEAR ME OUT GAGAMARU AND YUKI / TARZAN AND JANE AU LMAOOOOO no it’s so perfect hold on i’m going to edit a screen cap of it once i’ve responded to this why does it fit uncannily well…i’ve convinced myself gagamaru and yuki besties number one bllk duo forget bachisagi or kunigiri or nagireo or tabieita or whatever 🥱 gagayuki the ONLY pair i care about (and karasu + shidou they’re cool too)

i completely agree although i’ve already seen people on all corners of the internet calling people who are dissatisfied with it brain dead or without reading comprehension/media literacy…that’s just how it’s going to be ig 😓 jjk to me has this problem where it’s simultaneously overhated AND overrated 🤔 because people do not realize there is a middle ground!! like no it’s not the worst manga ever and there are several high points + on the whole it is better written than several other animangas especially shounen ones however it is NOT peak fiction and it is definitely not the best thing to come out in recent times!! like people don’t realize you can criticize it and still not bash it/gege completely 😒 also i have to say it…a manga being popular ≠ good idk WHY that’s such a popular argument but things can be popular without being well written!! look at any number of ya dystopian novels from the 2010s for proof 😭 nobody’s denying that jjk is popular it’s just that that doesn’t automatically make it the best thing ever…i saw someone on tik tok say that a lot of jjk fans confuse hype moments/panels with good writing and i do think that that’s the case at times 🫣 but what do i know lol

tbh smth abt kaiser’s fuck ass haircut turns me off rlly bad like maybe if he still had the shaggy blond going on or if he put it in a bun more often i’d see the appeal but the rat tails are not it 😰 and LMAOAOAO PLSSS kaiser’s side at the wedding is just ness and noel noa (he was paid to be there) and both of them are just like 😐😐 the whole time HAHAHA they are not into it at all…maybe kaiser was onto smth when he said that they should just get married without any guests because imagine how awk it would be otherwise ��

#answered asks

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acourtofquestions · 4 months ago

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Tonight’s read is EoS Chapter 54:

Thoughts below the spoiler bar of safety for the chapter :-)

*thoughts to be updated shortly* — Current heading into the chapter thoughts are in the initial tags ;-) — P.S. from chapter 53 ending; what is Fenrys asking Rowan to do? — Am I supposed to know? — He asked to be “killed before that order is given” and I’m not sure if “that” order is… is it to execute Lorcan? Or kidnap Aelin for a “long” Maeve style punishment, Or a worse “what if” fear of Maeve being unhinged enough to fear Aelin with Rowan & Lorcan so much that she would just kill her without question? Or is this referencing some personal history like his brother “the anchor” & Maeve using something against him… or something else entirely??? And ALSO either way it’s sad and I don’t want that, so I’m even MORE concerned!!!

— The way Manon just so casually calls Rowan the Queen’s mate because it’s obvious to EVERYONE

— Very intrigued by the forms Lysandra chooses to take; like the current Viper (symbolism, but backwards (more like Rep Taylor, than actual “snake”) so I’m HERE. FOR. IT. flip the script queens) but more so because it’s interesting to pick a form that not only blends in/preps for the monsters around them but also scares everyone (including their “team” members like Fenrys or Manon who she doesn’t yet trust) it acts as a protective mechanism both ways.

— CONCERNED/how interesting that they ARE walking in the swamps that Elide & Lorcan avoided at ALL cost… perhaps due to sheer boiling power & a larger group?.. idk. but I don’t trust it😅… this is becoming the theme for EoS lol😅 “I don’t trust it! BUT ITS FINE—IT BETTER BE FINE😅😅”

— "Because she died. And even before she did, this world saw to it that she suffered, and was afraid, and alone. And even though no one will remember who she was, I do. I will never forget the color of her eyes, or the way she smiled. And I will never forgive them for taking it away." — don’t mind me just gonna go cry (and make annotations here since my book apps aren’t working and I’m too impatient for Libby to keep waiting to read this one)

— okay what do they mean by “lock” …this whole time I’ve been thinking “lock” like a door, cause (wyrd)KEYS… but now without having anything they are saying they reached “the lock” so is this like a kind of island, or water system, or what???

— "Perhaps she'd try to be better about it, if this dread was at all like what they felt." — UH YEAH THEY DO, thank you for finally having some preservation to scare me a little less😂

— okay, so, like the Lysandra post I made recently about her guarding Aelin’s back just got more interesting with that now as Manon’s job

— "She could almost feel him sliding into that frozen, raging place-- where born instinct and centuries of training had him seeing the world as a killing field, and willing to do anything to eradicate any threats to her. Not just his Fae nature--but Rowan's nature. To protect, to shield, to fight for what and who he loved." — ugh I love him and them and the Rowan’s nature part🥹🥹🥹 TOO MUCH LOVE I JUST🥹

— "Even in the marshes, it was easy to become drunk on him, on the taste and smell and sound and feel of him." — once again Kanej vibes with the “if he could bottle the sound and get drunk off her laughter every night” quote🥹😭once again HE SMELLS LIKE HOME TERRASEN

— Them training sword names I LOVE THEM

— "Blame my ancestor." She certainly did. For many, many things." — first off glad we’re finally talking about that, secondly not ancestorS and it’s singular *coughs Elena* (unless it’s a hint at her and Manon but I doubt it😂)

— JUST SAY THAT YOUR MATES ALREADY AND MAKE THE TIME AND DONT DO IT ON DEATHS DOOR PLEASE

— thinking the word “coward” is what hit her heart😭

— Manon did listen though…

— “throw a rock?”😂 (okay Indiana Aelin)

— "As if they’d done a hundred times before" — once again guarding back, are they related, players in the game, I love them… come on it’ll all be fine with these two goddesses

— please don’t kill Lorcan but Lorcan don’t you dare hurt Aelin or steal the ding dang keys but hey Elide come meet the fam

— your telling me it’s bad enough Lorcan is warning them to get out not even revenge but that even for his endearing “bitch queen”😂

— I can’t tell if Manon was hopeful or terrified at the idea of the Iron-teeth coming😭🖤

— crap the ilken know the Wyrdkey too now and so does Lorcan so they’ll both be fighting with too much info UGH (why can’t they all just kiss, open a treasure chest, go to a fancy suite, and be left alone for a dang second to be happy or not about to die with the weight of everything on a couple of teenage immortals) p.s. AUTOCORRECT ITS NOT SILKEN ITS ILKEN🤦‍♀️

— "and she knew he'd been taking in the horizon and surrounding lands not for any chance of winning the battle that was sure to come, but for any shot at getting her out. — MY HEART

— Even if the rest of them had to buy her time with their own lives." — Ummm no (don’t you dare get dumb on me Gavriel…. Wait shit if they see Lorcan are they gonna have to fight him not run…?!?)

— “five hundred” — holy shit we are way in over our heads… how are there even that many… oh goodness… time to go get sleep deprived😂 please tell me ur bad at guestimstes?

P.S. old exclamation THE AMULET IS THE WITCH TRIAD THING!!!

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venusiangguk · 4 years ago

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gold rush | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, smut, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 5k+

>>warnings: oral (m/f), fingering (f), phone sex, normal sex, explicit sex, slapping tits, slapping, crying, degrading, dirty talk, all the sex stuff, jks a lil mean and condescending but it’s very cool and sexy

>>notes: hello! this is my first post on here :) it’s part of a longer scenario i’m just seeing how it’s received before posting the full length version~~

>>summary: jk comes back from a weekend away and he wants to show you just how much he missed you.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

It’s a Saturday night and you’re laying in your boyfriends dorm room bed by yourself. You’re bored and alone because Jeongguk had an away tournament that was far enough to warrant a hotel for the weekend. Typically you would have tagged along like many of the students at your university, but you had had a test on Friday that you couldn’t miss. Which is why you found yourself wrapped in one of his t shirts, under his blanket scrolling absently through your phone not really paying attention to anything much, just going from app to app.

Due to the lack of anything better to do, you boredly slipped your hand under the waist band of your panties. Not particularly horny... just passing the time you would say. You casually ran your fingertips over your smooth lips before yanking your hand out, being struck with an idea. You quickly type a text to Jeongguk.

you :

i’m touching myself rn

Short sweet and to the point. You nibble on your lip as you see the typing bubble pop up not even 5 seconds after it says ‘delivered��.

koo 🥴:

pics ? 🥺

You roll your eyes. Two years of dating and that’s still how he responds.

you :

no way

wyd rn ??

koo 🥴:

why not

i’m at dinner w my team

jimin and tae say hi

-insert pic-

You smile at the pic your boyfriend took of his friends. You were pretty close to all of the team but more so Taehyung and Jimin, seeing as you and Jeongguk would go on double dates with the couple quite often.

you:

tell them i said hi and that they should kiss 😌

Immediately he responds.

koo 🥴:

they said only if u send me pics 😌

You laugh before snapping a selfie to send to him.

you:

you didn’t even ask them but ok 🙄

koo 🥴:

ur in my shirt while jerking off ?

😩 🤌 🏻

pics PLASE

PLEASE**

You giggle and you’re about to respond when you get a facetime call from him.

“You’re so impatient,” You scold. From the looks of it, he’s in a bathroom stall.

“And you’re so mean.” He pouts. “Lemme see ‘em.”

You think about being annoying and making him wait more, but he looks so handsome and hopeful that you just can’t bring yourself to tease much. You grab the bottom of his loose t shirt and pull it up and tuck it under your chin. The cool air of the room makes your nipples harden and you grab one of your tits in your free hand and squeeze and shake it gently. “These?” You ask sweetly.

His eyes are hooded and he subconsciously runs his tongue over his lips before biting the plump bottom one softly. He’s blushing when he says, “Mhmm, they’re so pretty. Will you lick them for me, baby?”

You groan. “You know I hate doing that.”

He swallows, and fusses with his hair for a second before his hand goes out of frame again. “I know it just- makes me so hard, I love watching you do it. You don’t have to though.”

You sigh and grip under your boob, and do your best to get your nipple to your mouth. They aren’t small but at the same time they aren’t the biggest so its kinda tough, but if you really try you can get it done. Once you swirl your tongue around your nipple, you hear a soft moan come from your phone speaker and you feel it go straight to your pussy. You suck on your nipple a little more before pulling off with a loud pop!

“Are you hard?” You ask, a slight shake to your voice as you get more and more turned on. He nods. “Are you touching?” He nods again. “Show me.”

He doesn’t hesitate. He pulls his sweater up and holds it between his teeth so you can see his toned stomach as well as the bulge in his pants. He runs his hand over it, toying with the tip some, making soft muffled noises fall from his lips. His stomach tenses a little bit.

You put your hand down your panties again, and tease a little at your clit. “You look so good, I wish you weren’t so far away...” You whine quietly.

Jeongguk groans and brings his face back into view. “I know, baby. I can’t even stay here with you to help or coach will get suspicious. We are supposed to be team bonding before the final game tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ve got to will this boner away and go back out there.” He sounds like it pains him as much as it pains you to finish off alone.

“Take it out really quick, just for a second,” You say quickly before he goes.

He scowls playfully. “I really can’t stay, so just a little.”

You lick your lips and nod quickly, rubbing your fingers on your clit a little faster.

He gets the angle right and unbuttons his pants and pulls his hard cock out just enough for him to stroke up and down. He groans once he gets a hand around himself at the same time that you let out a high pitch moan.

Jeongguks cock is so pretty. It’s fat and plump and pink. Shiny at the tip where he’s already leaking. He always gets so wet for you, just like you get wet for him. His hand wrapped around himself is truly a sight. His long slender fingers moving up and down before the whole hand grips around his girth. He’s thick and long and the thought of him filling you up makes you whine and your pussy pulse.

“Are you touching yourself baby?” He whispers.

You nod. “Yes, yeah... please come home. Right now.”

He hums on a laugh. “Show me how wet that pretty pussy gets for me.”

You swirl your fingers around your wetness before bringing the glistening digits up into view of the camera. He groans and his head falls back before putting the camera back down to his cock to show you how fast he’s stroking.

“You get that wet for me even though I’m miles and miles away? How slutty baby... How do you taste hmm? Sweet like when I last tasted you just a couple of days ago?”

You’re just about to suck your fingers into your mouth for him when you hear a door open through your phone speaker.

“Kook? It’s time to stop jerking off and participate in the bonding activities, Captain .”

You can tell from the deep voice that it’s Taehyung that came to get him. You giggle quietly.

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming give me a minute.” He says through the bathroom stall. He sighs, and gives you a playful eye roll like he’s exasperated.

“Don’t cum while I’m here, and be thankful that it was me that came to get you and not coach. Bye y/n!” He says loudly.

“Bye Tae!” You squeak as you hear the door close.

Jeongguk groans, but smiles lazily at you. “Guess I gotta go.”

You hum. “Guess you do Captain.”

He laughs a little as he does his pants back up, tucking his now mostly soft cock away. “I love you. Cheer me on tomorrow. I’ll see you after, but I probably won’t get back to the dorms till late. Are you gonna be there still or are you going back to yours?”

“I’ll wait for you. Score a goal for me, and text me later. Love you.” You smooch at the screen and Jeongguk does the same before the call ends.

And with that you are once again left alone, but a lot more horny than before the talk. So you do what any sensible person would do.

You pull up the hub.

~~~

Jeongguk walks into his dorm room around 10 pm, and the first thing he sees is you, right where you were when you hung up the night before after your little facetime sesh. The only difference is that you’re wearing a different shirt, still his, and you have ice cream in your hand and your laptop set up on your lap a show playing in the background.

At the sound of the door opening your eyes find his and you quickly set your food down on his night stand, and fling the covers off your lap, paying no mind to the mac book that is now buried somewhere under his comforter, before squealing and flinging yourself into his arms.

He grabs you easily, bags dropping to the floor, hands under your butt to keep you hoisted. You wrap you legs around his tiny waist and smush your lips to his cheek and mumble a distorted, “I missed you.”

“Okay so kiss me about it,” He says back, eyes glinting and lips puckered.

You giggle, placing your hands on his cheeks, angling your head to slot your lips between his. He parts easily for you, and starts to walk you both back to his bed before he drops you where he found you. You bounce lightly and take a second to take him in.

He’s wearing oversized comfy clothes, grey sweats and a big white long sleeve shirt. His long hair is soft and shiny, falling over his pretty face delicately. He must have had a shower at the hotel after the game. He looks soft and oh so sweet. You just want to devour him. From the looks of the semi in his pants, he’s feeling the same way about you.

“Ah, already getting hard for me?” You coo, hand cupping him over his sweats. He pushes against your palm, unashamed. “You just got here baby.”

He shrugs looking down at you. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all weekend. I had to rub one out in the bathroom room last night as soon as we got back to the hotel. Tae and Jimin were right outside.”

You nuzzle into the material of his sweats feeling his cock quickly become fully erect as you mouth at it. His hand comes down to cup your cheek, run through your hair. “I watched porn after we got off the phone.”

“Did you?” He asks, shifting away for a second so he can pull his sweats down, leaving him in his briefs. You see a little wet patch where the tip is. You suck lightly over the material and he moans loud and clear for you. He sounds so much prettier in person, over the phone just doesn’t compare.

“Yeah, came so hard. Was thinking about you and me.”

“Fuck. Did you make a mess all over my sheets?”

You shake your head as you slowly pull the waist band of his briefs down his hard cock. Once it’s free it bounces in front of your face, flushed and begging for your mouth. You stroke lightly while saying, “No, but I did find something that I wanna try.” You flick your tongue under the head and the hand in your hair tightens and pushes slightly. You part your lips and let him in.

“Mmm, you can tell me all about it once I’m done with you. I can’t wait any longer baby. Swallow me,�� He moans, both hands going to the back of your head and pulling you farther onto his cock. He jerks when he feels you swallow around the tip. “So fucking good.” He sighs.

You let him have his way, fucking your throat a little, although he’s much gentler than he usually is when he does it, and he does it for a much shorter time. He must be tired from the weekend, or he must have something else in mind for tonight.

“Lay back baby.” He says when he pulls out of your throat, crawling on the mattress. He finds your discarded laptop and places it under the bed out of the way. You both remove the rest of your clothes before you do as he says and he settles down between your legs.

You figure since he got hard literally on arrival, that he wouldn’t waste time with teasing, would get right to the good part. But no. He takes his sweet time kissing, licking and biting at your thighs, squeezing them roughly in his hands. He nuzzles into your skin flicking the lightest lick over you pussy lips before pulling back and blowing a little. You gasp and roll your hips, trying to get him closer to where you wanted, spreading your legs even farther apart, presenting yourself to him. But he’s having none of that.

“Stop fucking squirming,” He groans before you feel his grip tighten on your hips. But still he doesn’t go where you want him, so you fight against his hold.

“Stop teasing then,” you whine with a scowl.

He bites at your inner thigh. “Hush baby.”

You huff and hit your tiny fists on the bed, frustrated and fussy. “Make me.”

Jeongguk stills and you gulp. He glances up from between your thighs, and he quirks an eyebrow at you.

“What was that?” He asks, much too calmly.

“I said make me.” You whisper poutily.

He sighs and sits up. You get to whine for just a second before you’re yelping and squeezing your legs shut. He just smacked your pussy.

“Shut up.” He says. He doesn’t sound angry, very casual in fact. He rubs his hands over your legs, easing them back open. “Y’know y/n, I had a very long weekend. Travelled hours to play 4 games in two days. Travelled hours back.” He’s running his fingertips over your pussy lips, smearing around the slick you know is pouring out of you. You shiver. You love it when he gets like this. You love it every time your guys are together, but when he’s extremely one way or the other, extremely dominant or extremely submissive? It just makes your entire body burn and your pussy ache. “I even scored a goal for you in the final.” He glances at you, finally sneaking his finger between your folds, he grazes your clit and you shiver, legs spreading even more. “All I wanted to do was get home and take care of you... Make my girl feel good...” He’s rubbing circles around the little nub and your hips slowly start to rock into his touch, breathing heavy from the pleasure. His girl. Yes. You’re his girl. You tell him so.

“Really?” He asks. You nod. He hums. “That’s funny because all I see here is a brat .” He spits out, before another smack lands on your sensitive cunt.

You cry out, trying to close your legs again, but he holds them open. He settles between them again and says sternly, “Now be good. I’m going to do it how I want. Do you understand?” You whisper a tiny yes. He sighs like he’s relieved that you’re not going to be difficult and put up much of a fight, so he can finally do what he’s been wanting to for days. He pushes back on your thighs so your cunt it fully exposed to him, and he spits on it before rubbing his fingers around the sticky mess. Every time he rubs over your clit you twitch, but you’re trying to be good.

“So fucking messy baby. So gross.” He says sweetly as presses his tongue flat on your opening before licking all the way to your clit. He moans at the taste of you despite his words just a moment ago and your eyes roll back. He’s in a mean mood now. And you’re gushing for it. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty baby... because your little cunt is so nasty , just leaking all over the place. I’ve barely even touched her, and she’s dripping down to my sheets. How did you manage to keep them clean while I was gone hmm?” He doesn’t let you respond, quickly sucking your clit into his mouth suctioning it just a bit before flicking the tip of his tongue over it quickly.

“Ah, f-fuck-“ You gasp. You raise yourself onto your elbows so you can watch. He hums around your clit before he flicks his eyes to you. You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut before falling to your back again, not able to handle the gaze he gives you.

He pulls off and uses his fingers to open your lips and pull the hood back before making his tongue flat and licking slowly over your exposed clit.

“Oh my god- That’s- that feels so good baby,” You say between breaths. Your legs are starting to get a slight tremble to them but still, you pull them farther back, making yourself as open as you can for his tongue.

He hums and then smiles, biting at your clit gently, making you jolt. “Feels good baby?” He rubs his fingers all over your core again. You nod and he says, “Could have felt good before and not had spanks if you weren’t so fucking bad.” He swats your cunt again lightly, before sighing and kissing your clit sweetly. Your head is spinning from the switches in his mood but you love it. Love that you don’t know what to expect when he slides his fingers into you. He moans and rests his head on your inner thigh, watching as his fingers slip in and out of your heat. He looks like he’s in awe of your cunt, watching as it clenches and sucks his fingers in. He looks so lovely between your legs.

“Always so fucking tight, can’t wait to get my cock in here.” When he says ‘here’ he curls his fingers inside of you and your back arches off of the bed, and you moan his name loudly. “That’s it baby...” He whispers against your core before he starts to thrust his fingers into you, curling on the pull out. He adds his mouth and you start to shake. Your hands find his hair and you pull him closer, feel him lick and suck at your clit like its the best thing he’s ever tasted. He moans while he eats your pussy. And he has the nerve to call you nasty. He’s absolutely filthy.

“I- close-“ You choke out, relishing in the sloppy wet pleasure that his mouth and fingers are giving you.

He says ‘mhmm’ against your clit before pulling away to get out a quick, “Fuck. Yeah you are, cum for me.” and then he’s diving right back in, focusing on where you’re most sensitive, your clit and your g spot.

“There baby, yeah- fuck , don’t stop ,” You whine quietly as your body tenses. Your legs are shaking out of control, before the string in you snaps and you cry out. Your thighs close around his head and you grind your cunt into his face riding out your orgasm before it gets too much and your try to squirm away. But Jeongguk holds you there until you’re almost crying from the overstimulation.

You pull at his hair, begging him to stop, and finally, he does. He pulls away from your messy cunt, and lays himself on top of you before kissing you deep, wasting no time sticking his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself on him. You moan and twine your fingers through his long hair, arching your body to get as close to him as you can. You feel him start to rut his cock over your sensitive core, and gasp. He’s so hard, you can feel him throb against you. He pulls away and grips his cock at the base, lining it up with your pussy before sliding it up and down, teasing your clit even more, mixing his precum with his spit and your slick. He focuses his frenulum on your clit, and his hips twitch. His head rolls back, and his mouth opens in a silent moan. He pulls back and when he looks at you again, he looks wild. His eyes are dark with desire and his pupils are blown. His hands grip at your body like he can’t get enough of you. You’ll have pretty little bruise blossoms all over your body in the morning. Finally, the tip of his cock breaches your center.

You’re so hot, and tight, and so fucking wet around him, that Jeongguk can’t keep the moan that falls from his lips locked away as he pushes inside of you. He pushes all the way to the hilt, you can feel him flush against your clit. Your mouth falls open in pleasure, but your eyes never leave him, the first thrust always being your favorite. Finally getting filled up like you wanted. You can feel him in your belly, heat pooling there as he lets you adjust to his size. Sometimes he likes press his hand into your tummy while he fucks you. Says can feel his cock splitting you open. You watch the man above you part his lips and furrow his brows in pleasure while he does his best to not go too fast, tries not to thrust into you wildly like he so wants to.

He’s leaning over you, hands on the side of your head. You run your palms up his sides, whispering, “I’m good, you feel so good. Give it to me please.” You lean up and press a kiss to his collarbone.

He’s quick as he hikes your legs up and hooks them on his shoulders. He rests some of his weight on you, bending you in half as he starts moving his hips. He pulls out to just the tip before slamming back in with one swift motion. Your hands claw at his back, the angle he has you in allowing him to reach even deeper. Gasps are punched out of you as he starts to set his brutal, sharp pace, not forgetting how bad your were earlier. He’s going to make sure you feel every inch of him for days.

“Oh my god, fuck. That’s so fucking good, Jeongguk. Please fuck me,” Your moans are high pitched and close to sobs.

He leans back some and spreads your legs wide, hands on your ankles to keep them open and he looks down slowing his thrust to watch as he slides into your little cunt. Your pussy is swollen and pink around his cock. He can see your arousal shiny on the base of his cock. “Fuuuck,” He moans as he closes his eyes basking in the feel of you clenching tight around him. He’s slowly pulling his cock from you, only for you pussy to pull him right back in. “This pussy was made to take my cock, huh?” He says speeding up. You nod and tell him, “Yes only your cock gets me this wet, this fucking hot.” He pumps his cock into you hard enough for you to get jostled, so your words come out in choppy and incoherent moans.

The way he’s fucking you makes your tits bounce, perky and pretty. He growls and leans down to suck a nipple into his mouth. You arch into his touch, cute little mewls falling from your lips as his tongue flicks over the small bud. You brush his long hair out of his eyes, holding him to your tit as he makes goosebumps rise to your skin.

“That feels so nice baby,” You say. It’s quiet and desperate, you head thrown back, neck extended and bared to him.

His eyes flick up to look at you, still playing with your nipples. He sees you bared in submission and can’t help the hand that rubs up your torso all the way to your neck. Just begging to have a hand around it. He pulls off your your tit, letting one of your legs fall to around his waist and you moan loud and long as the picks up his pace again.

Your favorite position. He knows how to fuck you any and every way, but like this he fucks you just right, making you fall apart in no time at all. The hand around your throat tightens at the sides, making the moans and whines that come out of your mouth high pitched and airy. The lack of blood flow to your brain makes you feel lightheaded and fuzzy, almost euphoric as he fucks you into submission. His free hand smacks your tits lightly, and you clench from the dull pain as they jiggle. Jeongguk swears.

“God your pussy is just milking my cock, not even letting me pull out all the way. Such a greedy , selfish little cunt. Can’t get enough of this cock filling her up.” He grips your hips with both hands and watches your pussy swallow his cock.

You giggle, soft and delirious as you feel the first signs of your orgasm pool in the pit of your belly, right where Jeongguk’s cock is pounding into you.

“You think that’s funny?” He questions. He grips your jaw and makes you look at him. Your cheeks are smushed and your eyes water from the hold he has on you. “You think being a selfish, greedy little slut is funny?” He presses against the side of your face, biting at your cheek like he just needs to sink his teeth into something to let out some of the pent of feelings coursing through his veins.

“I just love it. Love your cock so much,” You whimper.

Jeongguk pulls back so he can look into your eyes again. He looks at you mockingly. “You love it?” His voice is condescending and it makes your pussy drip. “You fucking love it?” He looks crazed as his hips jackhammer into your cunt, the slaps of his skin meeting yours ringing loud and clear throughout the dorm. Bless his poor neighbors.

“Yes, yes I fucking love it,” God you’re going to cum.

He feels how close you are, sees the way your legs are trembling. He’s moaning when he says, “Shit baby, show me how much you love it. Show me, make that little pussy cream all over my fat cock.”

You nod helplessly as your body jerks in his hold. You can feel your pussy contract over his cock as he brings you the precipice of your pleasure. Tears fall from your eyes from how overwhelmingly good it feels.

Jeongguk fucks into you a few more times, the last of your orgasm leaving your body, as you listen to the higher pitched moans falling from his lips at a faster rate than before. He gasps as he pulls out and positions himself over your heaving chest, cock right in your face as he fists it fast.

“Fuck, open you mouth,” He says, voice dripping with pleasure. You do, smiling, tongue out. He groans deep before his hips jerk and he whispers, “I’m gonna cum,” with heavy lust filled eyes. You feel the first shot of cum land on your cheek.

“Mmm yeah, cum all over my face,” You hum, blissed out.

He milks every last drop of his load out, and you suckle on the tip until he’s whining and shivering, pulling back with an overwhelmed, overly sensitive gasp.

He catches his breath for a second before he gets up and makes his way to bathroom. He sees you about to wipe the cum off your face and says, “Wait a sec.”

You sit patiently, criss cross apple sauce, cum on your face, eyes red and wet from the tears you shed, until he comes back with a wet wash cloth in one hand. He makes a stop at his bags on the floor and fishes his phone out.

He sets the wash cloth on the night stand next to your forgotten, melted ice cream and pulls up the camera.

“Smile baby,” He says, softly giggling.

You do, big and radiant, throwing up a little finger heart. You hear the shutter a few times before his phone takes the place of the wash cloth on the night stand. You reach for it to clean yourself, but he pulls away, wanting to do it himself.

You smile as he concentrates and gently cleans up his mess from your face. His tongue peaks out of his lips and you peck him. He stills before scowling with a small smile, and continuing.

“You look so pretty when you have my nut all over you face,” He says absently. His thumb brushes under you eye. “When you cry too.” He cups your jaw and runs his thumb over your cheek bone. “I wasn’t too mean was I? Too rough?” His eyes search yours. You shake your head.

“No I like it when you get like that, ‘s sexy,” You say wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him so that you both are laying down. You wrap around him like a koala. He yawns and settles in your hold, snuggling into the bed.

“Okay good. You can be mean next time,” He sounds sleepy.

You scoff, knowing that you both know that when you take control it’s in a softer way. Degrading and being mean was his thing, what you liked. Jeongguk liked to be praised.

“Yeah okay,” You say sarcastically. “You’d cry in a non sexy way if I was even half as mean to you as you are to me,” You scratch at his scalp and he purrs.

“I’m sensitive,” He whines. Another yawn. “And sleepy. Shhhh.”

“Jeongguk wait,” You say.

“Hmm?” He says already close to knocking out.

“I wanna eat your ass next time.”

“Mhmm, okay. Now sleep please. Turn off the lamp.” He turns over, wanting to be the little spoon.

You know he didn’t actually listen to what you said, but that would not stop you from holding the ‘yes’ he gave you over his head in the morning when he’s more coherent. You flick off the lamp, and throw an arm over his waist. He snuggles back into you, fitting his body against yours. You kiss his shoulder and say, “Okay, remember that you said yes in the morning.”

All you get in response is a soft snore.

-------------------

and there it is! let me know if u want me to finish and post the whole thing! comments and feedback are appreciated!

part 2 here!

part 3 here!

3K notes · View notes

stxrvel · 3 years ago

Text

bittersweet feelings (1)

summary: you have to deal with the harsh truth after Bucky arrives from one of his missions.

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

warnings: nothing i think, just you know English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes!

words: +2.5k

note: hi! I've been feeling physically unwell since I last posted and have been in bed, but today I was finally able to get a moment of calm and lucidity, so, enjoy and hope you like it!

also, i've been working on a series that I want to publish soon, but I don't know why I always find it difficult to do all that planning. anyway, I really hope I can bring it to you soon! thank u for all the support!

part 2

part 3

Admiring Bucky Barnes from afar has become too much of a challenge in recent days. Before, you were wrapped up in papers, essays, final exams and projects due, locking yourself in your room at a time or living in your university library, simply too busy to wander your eyes over the sprawling figure of Bucky strolling around the Complex. Ironically, he always spent more time there when you weren't there.

But now, completely free of academic responsibilities and banned from going on missions at Fury's whim, you had a lot more time to wander the halls of the Complex, especially in the gym where the man with the metal arm used to spend most of his time. Many times (if not all the time) you felt like a lousy attempt of a stalker, and you was almost 100% sure that he realised what you were doing but preferred not to say anything so as not to embarrass you. And that was much more embarrassing.

But did that stop you? Absolutely not.

He'd cut his hair a few days ago, and although you loved the way his hair looked on his shoulders and the way it blew in the wind every time he walked, as if he were a model on a bloody photo shoot, you shamelessly admitted that you had quickly grown to love his new style. Because, honestly, did something look bad on Bucky?

Your hands moved indiscreetly across the table, crumpling the paper between your fingers that you had previously been reading, as you watched the aforementioned man's shoulders shake after hearing Sam Wilson say something about Scott's card game. You moved your eyes scanning his entire face, trying to memorise the expression on his face as he smiled so openly, as he almost never did in public.

“Am I interrupting your crazy stalker moment?”

Tony's voice startled you, and you turned your head so sharply to look at something other than Bucky that a slight twinge of pain made its way from the back of your neck to your right shoulder. You grimaced and watched the millionaire sit down next to you on one of the black chairs that were spread out in the first floor cafeteria. Ahead of you, a large glass door separated you from one of the side exits of the Complex, where Bucky and Sam had stopped to talk and, surely at first, discuss the mission Bucky had just returned from.

“I'm not a crazy stalker,” you told him dismissively, but your nerves were eating you up inside. Even though you knew you weren't entirely discreet, you still weren't ready for someone to tell you that you were too obvious for him not to know anymore.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Tony commented sarcastically and you felt a quick pang of fear inside your chest, “I was just coming to tell you that Fury made the decision to send you to Milan with Steve the other week.”

Your gaze finally shifted away from Bucky's figure, closer and closer to where you stood, to Tony and you frowned at him in extreme confusion.

“What? So soon?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? To go back to the camp?”

“Well, yes, but I thought his tantrum was going to last much longer.”

Tony let out a laugh and proceeded to open the packet of peanuts in his pocket, “If he hears you say that, consider yourself fired, kiddo.”

“Then it's a relief that no one heard me say it,” you smiled innocently at Tony, who only gave you a tight-mouthed smile in return.

“It's just a recon mission. Steve thinks there's an empty HYDRA base you can investigate, and you're pretty nimble with that non-digitized document review stuff.”

“You mean I'm good at reading physical documents?”

“You know what I mean, eagle eyes. There's nothing you're missing.”

“Ow,” you croon with a smile, “Thanks for the compliment, Stark.”

“You're welcome. Now, don't go freaking out. Barnes is walking this way.”

He then stood up and planted himself in front of you, as your heart did a wild flip and you felt him pause for a second, before resuming his march at an unnatural pace. You didn't even know if it was possible for a heart to beat that fast. You felt sweat beading on your hands and started to breathe through your mouth as you felt the nervousness take over your whole body.

“What?” you exclaimed, staring at him, sitting uncomfortably in the chair across the table they had shared.

“I told you not to freak out, you're only going to make it worse.”

You narrowed your eyes at him with a frown. Next, you took about three deep breaths to try and calm your frantic heartbeat, before Sam's figure - and consequently Bucky's - appeared in your field of view to the side of Stark's body. The man gave you a look with an arched eyebrow, as if to ask you to behave yourself, which was an exaggeration.

That was an exaggeration. You spent a lot of time with Bucky! Even when you two were alone you didn't feel as nervous as you did at moments like this.

When your gazes met, you could barely return the smile he gave you before you turned your eyes to Sam, who had just spoken but you hadn't gotten to hear everything he'd said because your head was in the clouds.

“...and that you're going back to the camp with Steve. How long since you've been out? Almost four months? You must be anxious.”

You just nodded, looking at him through tight lips.

Tony rubbed his eyes in an exasperated gesture.

“I could ask Fury to let me tag along,” Bucky's voice reached your ears like a forbidden delicacy. It had been several days since you'd last heard it and it was like a gift from the gods, “Lest he bore you with his awkward silences.”

“We don't have awkward silences,” you grumbled quickly, not knowing exactly why you were getting defensive. Tony raised his eyebrows at you and you shrugged in place, “I mean, we talk about a lot of things.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky's jocular tone didn't do much for your nerves and sanity, “Name a topic you've been talking about for more than three minutes.”

You pursed your lips and stared at his perfect face, uninjured by the mission, as you conjured up memories of your conversations with Steve. Your almost non-existent conversations.

Your cheeks flushed as you realised he was right, but you weren't going to let him win you over this time.

“One time, we talked all night about a movie.”

“If you're going to say you talked about Lord of the Rings, that doesn't count,” Sam spoke with a half smile on his face.

“Why not?” you grumbled quickly, watching the grimace in his face.

“He talks to everyone about those movies. It doesn't even feel like a conversation anymore, it's like a monologue.”

“Careful, Sam,” Tony spoke up after several seconds, “She likes those movies too.”

“Hey! They're good movies.”

“Good for a nap,” Sam let out a laugh.

You watched Bucky pursed his lips and looked down at the floor, holding back a chuckle.

“They're entertaining,” you muttered with a frown.

Sam pointed at you, his eyebrows arched and his corners raised in a playful grin.

“Well, that's it,” Bucky interrupted whatever Sam was going to say, “You know what they say, to each his own.”

“I'm with Barnes on this one,” Tony spoke up, resting one of his hands on Barnes' shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. Bucky watched his hand and then the millionaire's face with an arched eyebrow, but Tony quickly turned his attention away from Bucky to Sam, “Speaking of Steve, he asked me to tell you to look for him in the main room. He said something about a pending conversation.”

Tony put his arm around Sam's shoulders, leaning part of his body to lead him to walk with him out of the cafeteria. They promptly struck up a conversation on their way out of the cafeteria, and you felt your hands shake once you realized you were alone with Bucky after a couple of weeks of not being able to talk properly with him.

You turned your head away from where the two people who had accompanied you a few seconds before were leaving, hearing the creak of a chair being dragged in front of you. You watched Bucky move his body into a sitting position, settling his forearms on the table and his eyes fixed on yours. Settling into the chair, you gave him a tight-lipped, tense smile. Act normal.

“So the boss finally gave in,” the black-haired man said, his lips curling as he interlocked his hands.

You nodded your head slightly, “It was quicker than I thought. I thought he'd never let me back in the field.”

“And can you blame him? You sure scared the soul out of his body,” Bucky arched his eyebrows, and the mere memory of what happened gave you a feeling of irritability.

You grimaced, “Oh, it wasn't a big deal.”

“It wasn't a big deal? Honey, you threw yourself at those people all by yourself.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, like you did every time he called you names when you were alone. He never did it in public, and it was something you didn't try to think about very often.

“So what? This was all unnecessarily dramatic,” you tried to say in the most neutral tone of voice possible as you crossed your legs under the table.

“There were twenty men,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“Do you think me incapable, Barnes?” you arched an eyebrow, speaking with courage.

“No, of course not,” he quickly replied, his gaze softening, “But you disobeyed a direct order from Natasha and put your life at risk. You know how Fury is with you, he cares too much about you.”

You rolled your eyes, letting your back fall against the back of the chair, “But I'm not made of porcelain. I'm as good as Nat, she trained me herself!”

“But Fury didn't see her grow up.”

Well, he had a point and rightly so. You had grown up with the boss, who had practically adopted you, which was one of the reasons he used to be overprotective or refuse you to do some things because he thought it was for the best. And that fact had also helped you form fraternal bonds with all the Avengers until you were old enough and capable enough to be a part of them.

Well, you saw everyone as a nice family except Bucky. And that was a big problem.

You watched him through your eyelashes with an almost imperceptible pout.

Bucky gave you a beautiful smile, the kind that could light up an entire city, “Honey, I understand that it bothers you, but the position you put Fury in at the time, or everyone for that matter, made it hard for him not to make the decision he did. Maybe he overstepped, I'm not denying that, but he was scared.”

“There were other ways...” you started to renege again.

“And would you really have listened to him?” he inquired without wiping away his smile. It amazed you how lenient he could be with you, when with the rest of the world he was a hermit and sulky most of the time.

You sighed. Yep, you could be pretty stubborn when you put your mind to it.

“Well, the important thing is that he finally realised his mistake,” you blurted out with an amused grin. Bucky frowned and pointed the index finger of his metal arm at you.

“I think you missed the point of our little debate.”

“No, no... I understand, Bucky, I do. But Fury have to trust my skills a little more. I could against all of them! It was a spectacle.”

“But you're not always going to come out on top, sweetheart. At some point someone can catch you off guard, and that's what Fury's afraid of.”

“Well, it'll have to happen at some point. Unfortunately, I'm not invincible,” you agreed and admitted what he had said, because he was certainly right, with a tight-lipped smile.

You thought Bucky would be amused, or at least agree with you, but he merely bowed his head, frowned and tensed noticeably. You noticed that his expression suddenly hardened, and it frightened you that you had said something that would have angered him.

“What?” you asked fearfully.

He looked up from the table to look at you again, waking up. He gave you a smile, but a stiffer, harder and committed one. Your chest tightened, “It's not.... It's nothing. Just try to be careful next time, more cautious if necessary. You know, strategist.”

“Yeah, I know, I don't risk it if I don't think it's necessary.”

“That's my girl.”

You froze for a few seconds, just watching him, before your face heated up into an all too violent blush. He'd never said anything like that to you before... but you certainly didn't balk at the possibility that he might again.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you smiled shyly at him.

The sound of the cafeteria doors swinging open distracted the man in front of you, but you kept staring at his profile, gawking and surely with heart-shaped eyes. How was it possible that you liked him so much? Even though it had been a while since you last spoke, it seemed that your feelings for him had only grown three times his size.

Then, you heard it:

“Bucky!”

A woman's voice in the distance.

Confused, you turned your gaze in the direction of the voice, which came from the same place Bucky had been watching for several seconds. She was the one who had opened the doors so frantically, then. You frowned at her from a distance, unable to recognise her figure or features; it wasn't usually easy for you to forget the faces of people you knew, and you certainly didn't know this woman.

However, when you turned to ask Bucky, the half-smile on his face gave you the answer without words. Your chest tightened and you clenched your hands so as not to show the abrupt change of mood you had just gone through when he turned his face and fixed his eyes on yours. All without erasing that smile.

That smile he had on his face for her.

“I guess you'll have to go with Steve to schedule everything about the mission.”

You nodded, uncomfortably, not looking away.

“Fine. In the meantime, I'll go on my date,” he crooned, and the burning you felt intensified so much that it felt like you couldn't pass saliva without straining. But you smiled at him, your lips curving awkwardly and your face reluctant to show a feeling you didn't experience.

“Wow, I thought I'd never hear you say something like that.”

“Life is full of surprises, honey,” he said smiling as he stood up, “Do you want me to walk you to the living room?”

“No, don't worry. I'll be there in a minute,” you replied quickly. It was the first time since you had met him that you wanted him to leave you alone for once.

“All right. Good luck with the old man.”

“Thanks. Good luck with your- your- your date.”

You hated the way your voice betrayed you, but Bucky didn't seem to pay too much attention to it as he waved goodbye to you and started walking in the direction of the woman waiting for him outside the cafeteria doors. You felt your chest tighten as you sighed deeply and a couple of tears welled up in your eyes.

Damn it, at what point had all that happened?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #winter solider #james buchanan barnes #seb stan #sebastian stan #marvel #mcu #avengers #the avengers #tony stark #sam wilson

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