#yeah I really did a 4500 word essay on this

[perriwinklesblog]

I feel a lot of people missed certain parts of the Tubbo and Quackity argument because theres a lot of “Tubbo was being aggressive” and “Tubbo refused to even compromise” going around.

So we’re going to go through many of the questions people have with the whole argument.

(It should be noted, it’s very clear that I am current on summer hols from uni as I put too much time into this long ass post. You don’t need to read it, this is very self-indulgent. I am bored so I analysed.)

Here are the questions covered;

This Land is My Land, This Land is Your Land: Does Tubbo have the right to build there?

I See You For What You Truly Are, which is UGLY: Is Quackity in the right asking Tubbo to tear down his structure due to how it looks?

Cookie Outpost: Threat or Passive Player?

That’s Not Fair: Why wouldn’t Tubbo try and compromise?

You Started It So I’m Finishing It: Why did Tubbo instigate and threaten violence?

Conclusion: The World Is Wide Enough.

1. This Land is My Land, This Land is Your Land: Does Tubbo have the right to build there?

Short answer. Yes.

Many people are putting real-world logic into this RP world, and whilst in the real world, Tubbo wouldn't be in the right here. However, what Tubbo has done in this RP world is perfectly acceptable, even if it is annoying.

The rules of this world are different to that of our own.

We must accept this. Regardless of whether you find similar situations that mirror real-world events, the Dream SMP (DSMP) has different unspoken and spoken rules than our own.

With that in mind, looking at the planning of structures and claiming land, it is very different from what we would typically see in the real world. There is no local government with a planning committee to go to for structures you want to build. You do not need to get approval to build structures. If there is a free space with no claim to it, you can create what you like. (Within reason, as long as it's not offensive, minus a penis as it is clear that the majority of this world do not find the phallic symbol to be offensive)

Whilst there have been retail estate agents on the DSMP who sell land to others, they first had to mark and claim the land to prevent someone just building on it. Marking the land with either fenceposts or a sign or outlining it with blocks is usual to claim something on the DSMP. Another way to claim land you wish to build upon, is to tell people and/or your chat so that when someone else comes across the land and starts to build, they then warn that the land has been claimed. Making it is the safest option to go with as many streamers know that chats can, and will often, lie. So without markers, it is assumed that the land is free and therefore up for grabs to build on. First come, first served.

This is what Quackity had done with Las Nevadas. We've seen people come across Las Nevadas before structures were built. Quackity had marked out areas for each building and signed it, showing those who had come across that the land they were walking on was claimed and could not be built upon. However, Quackity did not claim outwith that area, which is why it was so easy for Wilbur to find a place so close to Las Nevadas. Wilbur could claim his rival city out of pettiness much easier as there were no clear cut borders. Quackity did not outline the areas in which he wanted to expand, and therefore it was free land. He hadn't staked a claim on it. Quackity had thought it out but had not staked an actual claim.

Now, you could argue that was his plan and that he hadn't had time to outline where he wished to expand next. But that's not how the server works. When it comes to land, it is a first-come, first-serve scenario. Unless you take proactive measures to protect the land you have plans for, someone else can and will build there.

Quackity had not said to anyone canonically before Tubbo's Outpost that he was expanding there. He hadn't made the boundaries clear of the land he wished to stake a claim on, and therefore it stayed as free land.

So whilst what's happened to Quackity with plans of expansion stalling, this wouldn't have been an issue if he had been more apparent with boundaries. But, annoyingly for him, the perimeters of the DSMP, Tubbo has every right to build there as it was still free land.

Now, this brings us onto the building itself,

2. I See You For What You Truly Are, Which Is UGLY: Is Quackity in the right asking Tubbo to tear down his structure due to how it looks?

Short answer, no.

Again this comes back to the DSMP rules being different to real-world ones.

Now in many parts of the world, there are systems and hurdles you have to go through to get planning permission for a structure you wish to build, even if you own the land it will be on. You have to get the architectural plan approved by a committee a lot of the time. Neighbours often are allowed to object to structures or whole communities being allowed to at least say their grievances before the committee passes on the plan. Sometimes the committee will agree with the project even if there are grievances. Everywhere is slightly different, but there are systems in place for these discussions at the end of the day.

But not in the DSMP.

People can build whatever structure they want, no matter how ugly, as long as it is on their land or free land. So if they claim a bit of land and go, "I want to build an ugly thing", then they are allowed, even if it ruins the look of the thing next to them.

Is it rude? Yes. But does that mean they're not allowed? No.

Tubbo's structure is imposing for Quackity mainly because of the walls. He wasn't happy with the design when he first saw it before this wall, but the wall pointing directly at his nation was too much for him. Quackity finds them imposing and threatening, but it was technically on free land, so Tubbo can build them. Quackity does not have a right in the rules of the DSMP to have Tubbo tear down his walls due to how he perceives them. Although emotionally, it'd be great to see those walls come down in all parties.

He can issue with them and grumble but technically, within the unspoken rules of the DSMP, Tubbo's allowed to have them there.

Is it a bit rude of Tubbo to not have gone, "Hey, by the way, I'm building these walls around my structure; this is as close as I'm planning on this wall getting to your area, is that fine"? Yes, it was rude. But is he therefore not allowed to do that? No. He's allowed to build what he wants on free land that he has claimed.

So again, whilst aggravating for Quackity, Tubbo is allowed to build those walls.

Now to focus on the incident itself. There are many things, bear with;

3. Cookie Outpost: Threat or Passive Player?

The underlying cause of this argument is more to do with the perception of the building, walls included, than the actual placement.

Quackity could have found ways to move around the Outpost, such as dig a road under a new patch of land, etc. There are solutions to the outpost problem. Technically, Wilbur's only claimed a tiny bit of ground to easily have focused on building around the small building Wilbur made etc. Unlike Tubbo, Wilbur hasn't made his intentions clear where his areas borders are, and therefore, Quackity could use the same logic as Tubbo and the same logic of how land claimant works in the SMP against Wilbur. But instead, he focuses on Tubbo and places more energy in engaging with Tubbo than with Wilbur or Tommy. He views Wilbur and Tommy as more of a nuisance whilst Tubbo poses as a threat. He views Tubbo as a threat well before the actual threat from Tubbo and the proper knowledge of the nukes.

We often forget to take into account that canonically the audience knows more than half the DSMP members.

Philza is the only one who indeed acknowledges and reminds us of this fact. Others dance around or ignore the idea as sometimes they like to use the chat in their role-play to gain knowledge. But whether they've used chat in the past or not, the audience will always know more. So we read up upon and about streams we've missed and watch more perspectives allowing us a greater insight that canonically no one else gets. Unfortunately, the only understanding we have yet to grasp is Dream, which is not relevant to this current scenario.

We have to note what Quackity and Tubbo know and what we know and separate it with this understanding.

From Tubbo's perspective;

Tubbo heard of Las Nevadas, saw many people leaving for Las Nevadas and wanted to investigate. One of his citizens had emigrated to Las Nevadas, so there was a natural curiosity of what they are doing that's attracting everyone. So he initially wanted to create a very secret hiding place to spy on Las Nevadas to see what they were doing, much like what he did with the Egg.

The main objective: to observe.

The last organised group of people on the DSMP was the Eggpire. They were a nuisance for some people and a threat for many others, including Tubbo. So a new nation and a new group would naturally have Tubbo a little wary and very curious. Not to mention that this new nation was an old friend's latest project.

Those who watch Tubbo know that whilst he managed to create a small place to observe the Egg from, Tubbo often makes or desires big builds. Canonically small himself in height but loves a big house. So very quickly, the building itself becomes noticeable and more prominent than intended. Tubbo also likes substantial structured buildings leading to quite a sturdy looking outpost.

The Outpost style fits very much with Snowchester's style and the environment it is in. (As a side, he may not conically say he's a goat hybrid, but he chose a very mountain goat place to settle here). Whilst he continues to build his Outpost, he decides to build walls around it as a defence if anyone tries to sneak in or attack. The walls are reminiscent of the ones he made around Snowchester, again adding to the similarities between the two places he's decided to put roots. And again, it fits very much within the environment he's created. He adds a lava door as another defence but then decorates the courtyard for visitors. The lava door and walls keep people he doesn't want inside out but not to keep everyone out indefinitely. Again, he's establishing what his area is.

Tubbo understands that his area is not very secret, and the main goal is still to observe everything that is happening in Las Nevadas but knows he needs a cover since people are also asking what he's doing. So a cookie shop becomes the cover. A cover he gets quite into with the help of Ranboo. So with that, he needs to expand and make room for a farm and expand further onto the free land available. So the wall which becomes the centre of the argument with Quackity is built. This wall extends towards Las Nevadas but does not cross the river. Where it stops when they are interrupted with the Las Nevadas retaliation was as far as Tubbo was going to build it. The plan from there was to have to go back. The walls had gone from being purely defensive of the outpost building itself to indicating boundaries and what was Tubbo's land and what was still free land.

Tubbo added the bridge to connect his Outpost to Quackity's land to make it easier for both parties to visit each other. Quackity responded by linking it up properly but creating a toll.

When watching Tubbo's perspective and hearing his plans for the Outpost, it comes across as very passive. It was designed to be a place where he could keep up to date with what was happening and see what was going on without directly involving himself. He wanted to observe, and with his militant wired brain, he also needed some defences just in case. An argument often backed by the fact that almost all his builds on the server have been blown up, burnt down, or destroyed somehow. A fact, Quackity knows and feels too.

So for Tubbo, Outpost = Passive Player.

For Quackity's Perspective;

Quackity built Las Nevadas as a place where he can belong without proving it to others or compromising with others. This place is his and his alone where his laws and his rules are the only ones. People have to bend to him. People have to answer to him. He presents it as a safe haven from the chaos and a place to find a home, find family, and be one together. However, it is always on his terms. He will take others ideas and wrap them so they fit his narrative and plan but make it, so the others believe he is listening to them.

A case in point is the whole torture thing with Dream and Sam. He had an idea, he had a plan and then used a narrative Sam bought into, then twisted Sam's thoughts into fitting with his plans. It's a little bit more complicated than that but boiled down to the basics, yeah.

Whilst Quackity is the antagonist in many plot points right now, the heart of it all is centred on having a home, a place where he belongs and doesn't feel the need to constantly fight for it, to feel it threatened by outside sources continually. He just wants somewhere safe... where he can scam people so he can be rich.

With all that in mind, when Wilbur shows up, and their interaction descends into pettiness, it puts him on edge. He knows that Wilbur is stubborn and that Tommy is also determined. So whilst Quackity has the upper hand over them, which is why they're not seen as a threat more of an annoyance, they still started to sow the seeds in Quackity's mind that Las Nevadas was not as safe of a home as he first thought.

Now we could go into all the illogical ideas about Las Nevadas, such as open to all but not, pay a toll to get here, free to live and leave but sign your soul to me, and we welcome everyone but omfg why are you all here leave my home alone. We could go into the tortured soul of Quackity, but the focus is right now on why Tubbo's Outpost and wall created a more extensive argument and reaction than Wilbur and Tommy's blatant threat ever did.

When Quackity first saw and mentioned the Outpost, the walls were not as long; they stayed pretty close to the building itself. However, even when he was told this place might've been a Cookie shop, he didn't fully believe it. His mind immediately went to threat and annoyance. This is probably due to the interaction with Wilbur. His reaction would probably have been the same if anyone had built it there. It is close to his land, and he doesn't know why it's there.  When it's mentioned to be Tubbo's property, his worries are not immediately erased; instead, he almost doubles down in the idea that Tubbo is threatening him. He sees the bridge and is even more enraged by it. He builds a toll as a way to deter Tubbo from crossing into his land. Then Quackity, Slime and Fundy go to the Outpost to snoop, finding ordinary building materials along with gunpowder and two totems, leading to Quackity to double down in his fear that Tubbo wants to destroy this happiness he's cultivated. They then grief the place to threaten Tubbo and show Tubbo that they will not stand for threats.

Overall, from Quackity's perspective, Outpost = Threat

But at the end of the day, Quackity's knowledge of the Outpost is that it is a Cookie Shop. That has all that's been shown to him. That is all his character canonically knows, and even though it looks imposing to him, he shouldn't fear a cookie post. To him, Tubbo is a good kid, so why has he jumped and stuck to the narrative that the place is a threat, that the cookie shop will destroy his happiness?

Now Tubbo built the Outpost as a passive observation base. Therefore technically, the Cookie Outpost is passive, but Quackity places the idea that this place is a threat to the minds of Las Nevadas citizens and creates the idea that this building is a threat to their country. Regardless of whether it was a place for the Snowchester leader to spy, it was still a passive building where Tubbo did not want to attack anyone or anything. Spying does not equal threat. So again, Quackity is the one to impose the idea of a threat upon Las Nevadas, not Tubbo.

So now this Outpost exists in two states, and that's where the conflict is arising.

4. That's Not Fair: Why wouldn't Tubbo try and compromise?

Short answer, he did try.

Tubbo tried to compromise. Tubbo could see where Quackity was coming from; he understood and said to Quackity he understood and tried to explain that he wasn't attacking Las Nevadas. Tubbo said that was as close as he was going to get with the walls, but Quackity was the one who ignored him and didn't believe him.

Whilst the walls started as defensive, they were now mainly used to discern from what was Tubbo's land and what wasn't, which is why Tubbo didn't want to give up the new wall. So instead, he tried to mark out and defend his farm, in line with Cookie Outpost, which meant walls.

The solutions Quackity offers are all offers that benefited Las Nevadas and his plans, not his new neighbour Tubbo. Tubbo didn't understand why Quackity came in so aggressively so suddenly. The last they spoke, they at least left on civil terms, and both said they considered each other a friend, yet Quackity does not believe what Tubbo is telling him, doesn't believe that Tubbo doesn't want to harm him. Tubbo is also a bit annoyed by the fact that the solutions all take a hit to him when in his eyes, he didn't even build on Las Nevadas property and didn't even know of future plans Quackity supposedly had for Las Nevadas.

Eventually, Tubbo agrees to take down the wall if they come up with boundaries to the land to know what is his and what is Las Nevadas. He suggests the natural border of the river as that was what he was following anyway. He also offers it as it keeps the place looking nice since Quackity initially said the issue was how imposing the wall was to his nation.

This is a compromise. Tubbo and Quackity both get the things they want as the cost of the wall, the issue at hand. But Quackity and Las Nevadas say no to this proposal, and once again, they are running around in circles.

Other compromises were proposed, but again, most of them suited Quackity over Tubbo and therefore were more of a relinquish of power than a compromise. The solution Tubbo gave was one in which there wouldn't be a power imbalance between the two nations and would have left both on equal footing. But Quackity said no because he needs Tubbo below him power-wise.

Like Tubbo with his walls to protect what he loves, Quackity wishes to preserve his happiness and joy through control. He needs to control the situation, the environment and the people around him so that they do not say or do anything to jeopardise the life he has created. He cannot have Tubbo in an equal position to him, and therefore all solutions Quackity offers leave Tubbo below him.

So Tubbo did try and compromise, he just wasn't going to take a solution that didn't leave him, and Quackity equal, much like Quackity wasn't going to take a solution that didn't leave him above Tubbo.

5. You Started It So I Am Finishing It: Why did Tubbo instigate and threaten violence? 

Short answer, he wasn't the instigator. 

Whilst Tubbo was a bit rude and inconsiderate, the first instigation and threat of violence came from Quackity's side.

As mentioned before, upon first viewing Tubbo's place with Slime and Fundy, Quackity decides to send a message to Tubbo not to threaten them by essentially threatening Tubbo himself. They trash the site and leave it in ruin. This is the first act of aggression. There is also the fact that Quackity was willing to take things further by stealing Tubbo's totems, and if it had not been for Fundy suggesting that he was going too far, he probably would have taken them.

At this stage, Quackity and Tubbo have not spoken, have not adequately interacted for months. Quackity grief's the place without even asking Tubbo what he's doing, without talking things through with Tubbo. Quackity said he would ask him what was happening and whether this place was a threat but then proceeded to treat it as a threat and grief the place to send a message to Tubbo.

Ranboo then cleans the place up, placing signs to reinforce the idea that it's a cookie shop. This hides the altercation from Tubbo and ultimately makes Quackity's next more seem even more aggressive and over the top than before.

In Tubbo's eyes, this has come out of nowhere, whilst Quackity feels he is pre-empting an inevitable that he had no guarantee on.

It isn't until things start to get a bit heated that Quackity decides to try and talk things out with Tubbo. Until this moment, Tubbo had been working on the defensive. Even when he hadn't realised Quackity had threatened him before. Tubbo's Outpost and stance in this situation had always been defensive and passive until Quackity started to push at Tubbo.

Tubbo's threat of the nukes came after all the negotiations and arguing and directly responded to the energy Quackity was giving Tubbo. Tubbo wasn't the first to push, it was Quackity, and Tubbo just pushed back and essentially told Quackity, do not underestimate me.

Tubbo doesn't want to use the nukes; that was not the point of Snowchester's nukes. He doesn't want to destroy anything; it is just to make sure people do not destroy his things. Tubbo, although more feral than the feral boys, does not crave violence; like Quackity (or at least before Quackity enjoyed torturing Dream), he wishes for a peaceful place where he can work on his projects; his end goal isn't destruction.

Tubbo pulling the nuke card was not an attack, but a defensive response to everything Quackity had put on the table.

It felt like an extreme response, but Tubbo has seen how far Quackity goes with things and how hard Quackity is willing to fight for what he wants. So Tubbo needed to shock Quackity and remind Quackity that they are equals, they are equal in power and that should he forget, Tubbo will happily remind him.

Overall. Tubbo did not instigate but react.

Both parties threatened each other, but it was Quackity who threw the first punch.

6. Conclusion: The World Is Wide Enough. 

The issue with Quackity and Tubbo is more about the relationship and their perception than the building itself.

In posts before, I talked about how one of the significant communicative issues between Tubbo and Quackity is their inability to understand how they view things differently, even after all their shared trauma.

Quackity and Tubbo went through Schlatt's administration together and in close quarters with Schlatt. They both left with similar, albeit not the same, trauma as a result. However, their experiences with Schlatt left them both with different outlooks on life. They approach things differently, want and desire other things in life, and, throughout the exile arc, constantly found themselves at odds in opinion. If you ever wanted a trope of friends to enemies through misunderstandings, much like Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, Quackity and Tubbo are your guys.

They both struggle with the idea that the world is big enough for them, especially Quackity. There is a constant struggle between Quackity and Tubbo with who takes the lead and who is in charge. Now that they aren't forced on the same team, they've again found themselves at this impasse. But this time, neither is backing down because neither has to. They don't have to put aside their differences for the good of a country anymore. This time they are fighting for each their nation and ideals.

Tubbo often let Quackity persuade him with passionate speeches. But, this time, Tubbo is not allowing Quackity to have his way, whilst Quackity is not used to Tubbo digging his heels in the ground so much. Quackity does not want to settle for less; he's done that in the past, but he has missed the compromises being offered in refusing to let a little go. His paranoia that his happiness and all he's created will crumble away, much like past projects have toe lead him to view everyone as a threat. And it's funny how the very same fear from Tubbo, building those walls to protect his happiness, broke the last straw for Quackity, causing this argument to spiral and ball.

Both are in the wrong, and both are in the right. Still, personally, Quackity's refusal in this new life for total control, which influenced the negotiating, probably had a more significant impact than just giving Tubbo the natural border. Quackity makes it out like he doesn't want complete control, but he rejected it and presented arguments that left Tubbo worse off when offered an equal footing solution. Quackity is someone who wants to stay above Tubbo and therefore hold more of the control. Suppose he continues to maintain that stance in his mind while negotiating. In that case, he will never find a solution other than obliterating the competition because Tubbo will not stand for less than equal.

The fractures in Tubbo and Quackity's relationship came long before this altercation, but it seems as though this might be the thing to pull them apart finally. Of course, the only viable solution is for both parties to leave on equal footing, but Quackity struggles with that idea, and Tubbo won't settle for less.

[doubletriplepowerbomb]

Mr. Lonely part 2

Sheamus x fem reader

NON-WWE AU

Word count: +4500

Warnings: none… yet ;)

Tags: @jenn0755 @zappyzoodle @disturbthepearls @lost-in-the-stories @lithesxx @racingandreigns @rocketgirl2410 @vebner37 @therianfurry46 @littlelunaticfringe @finnbalorlover21-blog @winged-time-criminal @mrsnegan25 @xfirespritex @wefunloveruniverse @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk

Read part 1 here

I woke up at 10 am, fully clothed with a fully clothed Sheamus sleeping soundly next to me. His back was facing me and I watched his body fall and rise slowly, entranced by the freckles that dusted the pale skin I could see.

What the hell did I do?! I kissed him and he spent the night in my bed! I scrubbed a hand over my face before realizing that there was no use trying to take all this in. Whatever, at least we didn’t have sex.

I decided to try to act as normal about this as I possibly could- I wasn’t attached, we never did anything. I got up out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom.

Sheamus awoke to a comfortable bed that was not his own. He rolled onto his back and caught a glimpse of me brushing my teeth in my bathroom.

Ah could get used to this. A satisfied smile graced his face as he laid on his back, his arms behind his head. She looked different than any other girl ah see in the morning. If ah’m being honest, ah don’t stay long enough to see much of ‘em after ah’ve seen all of them.

Here ah am, though, laying in my jeans in the bed of the girl ah used to like in high school. The girl who never picked up on my flirting, never realized that there was another reason ah wanted only her to edit my essays. The girl who always smelled like citrus. She smelled like citrus last night at the bar too. Maybe that's what fucked with my head.

Sheamus turned onto his side to catch a glimpse of the clock on his phone, 10:05 am. At this point, ah would have been long gone. A girl sometimes likes to stay so I usually never have a one night stand at my place. Ah have to stop comparing… this isn’t a one night stand. She’s different.

Sheamus turned onto his other side and watched me brush my teeth.

She’s wearin’ the clothes she wore last night, her jeans and tight black top.

Looks a lot like a one night stand.

“G’morning, y/n.” He spoke from the bed. It startled me slightly but I don’t think he noticed. I rinsed my mouth before walking back into the bedroom. I wasn’t wearing any makeup and my hair looked kinda messy. I felt comfortable, I didn’t feel the need to not show my face until I looked presentable.

For a second, it looked like she was mine.

She’s not yours, lad. Don’t get all screwed up now.

“Good morning, Sheamus.” You would think this would be super awkward, but it wasn’t. There was a comfortable silence as both of us searched for the right words to say but we both came up short. After I realized that we weren’t gonna say much, I turned to my closet and slipped off my black shirt, revealing the black bra underneath.

“Is someone ready to sleep with me now?” Sheamus teased, sitting up in the bed. I didn’t have anything witty to say so I simply unclasped my bra and let it fall down my arms. His breath hitched as his eyes raked over my figure. I’m sure he was praying for me to turn around, but I didn’t. I grabbed a crew neck sweatshirt from the closet and slipped it over my head.

Sheamus couldn’t help the disappointment that filled him as he watched me slip the large sweatshirt over my figure.

“Do you want some breakfast?” I asked before taking off my jeans and slipping on pink pajama pants. Sheamus looked shocked and I explained myself. “I’m sure you don’t usually stay for breakfast but you’re still here and I’m hungry.”

Sheamus smiled before climbing out of bed. I wanted to act smug but I couldn’t, I was too busy staring at him as he got out of the bed and stood before me. His arms were muscular and defined and I could see his abs through the thin white fabric he was wearing-- butterflies shot to my stomach and I felt heat between my legs. Oh my fucking god, I gotta get out of here. I walked out of the room before he could see my face get red.

Sheamus emerged from my room a couple minutes later, he was holding his shirt and placing things back in the pocket. A travel sized toothbrush and deodorant. “You’re kidding. You bring travel-sized toiletries to your hookups?”

Sheamus looked at me with a weird expression. “Yeah, I also always have an extra condom, some people like mornin’ sex.” He said it so simply and he stared at me like I was the crazy one. “Ah’m like a boy scout, y/n, always prepared.” I laughed at him before handing him a paper plate with an egg sandwich on it.

“I hope you like sunny side up, I forgot to ask.” I told him, while carrying my plate to the small wooden table in my apartment.

“Don’t worry, ah like everythin’.” Even that sounded seductive, he either meant it to be or I was going absolutely mad.

We didn’t talk about anything important as we ate, just random, comfortable, small talk. Somewhere during our conversation, something clicked in Sheamus’ head. “Y/n, I know ya keep brushing this off, but I really do like ya.” He paused and my mind raced. He didn’t let me speak though, the next thing he said seemed to answer my fears. “Ah’m not just sayin’ it cause I want to sleep with ya, ah’m sayin it because ah was more content just sleepin’ next to ya than ah’ve ever been sleepin’ with any girl.” I was silent. My mind went blank. “Ah haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

“Who made you feel it before?” I asked quietly, my eyes looking downward at my coffee. I don’t really know why I asked it, it kinda just came out.

“You. In high school.” My eyes shot open, but he kept talking. “Ah had the biggest crush on ya, why do ya think I asked you to edit my papers every day?”

“Well I thought you needed help writing. You always did make the same mistakes though,” I paused as the pieces fell together in my head. “Oh my god. Sheamus, did you just make stupid mistakes in your essays so I would help you?” He nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me in high school? I always liked you too.” Now it was his turn to open his eyes in shock. “Why do you think I helped you? You were so charming and you seemed so helpless.” There was hope behind his eyes. Snap out of it. “But that doesn’t mean anything now. I don’t want to sleep with you no matter how much you might like me.” The hopeful glow behind his eyes disappeared.

“Ah don’t wanna just sleep with ya. I wanna be with ya.”

That was worse. Does he say this to all the girls he deems difficult assignments? I couldn’t trust him, I wanted to but I couldn’t. My stomach was doing flips as I imagined being with him. Waking up with him every morning and spending long nights in his arms- but that would never happen. He’s lying.

I couldn’t hide the skepticism on my face. He saw it but didn’t say anything more, I don’t know how he expected me to believe him. I wanted to be serious but I couldn’t make anything serious come out, “Well, if you want me that bad you’ll have to prove it.” I was hoping to say something along the lines of ‘Sheamus I can’t trust you and you know that.’

“Ah can prove it, y/n. Ah promise ah can.” I rolled my eyes and he smirked. “Just you watch, y/n. Ah have to go to work now but ah’ll come by the bar tonight.” His voice sounded so smooth and so confident- I was melting in my chair. He grabbed his flannel and walked up to me still sitting in my chair, he bent down and I looked up at him, thinking he was going to say something. But he kissed me instead. Then he smiled and left my apartment.

What the fuck?

What have I done?

I watched the door for a few more minutes, I was stuck in shock. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. After a while, I had managed to get up and go back to my room to grab my phone. “Megan, you’ll never believe what happened.”

“Did you sleep with him? Was it amazing? Tell me everything!” She squealed.

“Well, not really, no. It’s a long story.” I heard her get settled through the phone. “We kissed last night, at the bar, he stayed until closing. We had been talking and flirting all night but I just thought it was an attraction thing. But when he kissed me I instantly knew what everyone was raving about.” I paused, expecting something from Megan. She was silent but I shook it off. “So then we went back to my apartment and ended up in my bedroom but then I told him that I didn’t want to sleep with him. So then do you know what he did?”

“Did he leave?” She shouted. “How could you let him leave?!”

“No, no,” I started, “he didn’t leave. He just kissed me again and told me he wasn’t gonna force me into it. Then we fell asleep… fully clothed. We woke up and I made him breakfast and we talked.”

“Are you sure this was Sheamus? It sounds like he likes you.” Megan teased.

“Well then he told me that he liked me!” Megan gasped. “Yeah, he told me that he’s liked me since high school and that he was gonna prove to me that I can be with him.”

“That… is bonkers. Y/n he likes you! That’s great, but why does he need to prove anything.”

“Because I can’t get over things the way you can, Megan. I’m not as optimistic as you. I can’t get attached to him. I’ll be so hurt when I see that he’s moved on to other girls. And what if I’m working? This won’t last, there's no way he won't get bored of me then I’ll see him at my bar and I’ll have to serve him while girls fall all over him begging for him to spend the night again.”

“You already sound attached, honey.” Megan said, sounding defeated.

“I know. I get it though, he’s hypnotizing.”

“I know he is. But, I wouldn’t worry. I know a lot of girls Sheamus has been with and none of them have ever said anything like that.”

“Really?” Don’t get your hopes up.

“Yeah really, he’s never forced anyone into anything but he doesn’t stay the night with girls who don’t wanna sleep with him and he never stays for breakfast. He always wakes up before you then gets dressed and is gone. Sometimes he gets roped into morning sex but never breakfast.”

I stayed silent but I felt relieved- I know I shouldn’t care. I should feel indifferent, what do I care that he’s never treated any girl like this? Plus, he’s probably lying.

“Well, I gotta run but I’ll swing by the bar tonight.”

“Please. He said he was coming.”

“Of course, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.”

Silence. I let myself flop onto my bed and I felt myself being drawn to the side of the bed he slept on. It smelled like cologne and whiskey.

-

I got to the bar at 4:30 to open for 5. My heart pounded, I had no clue what was going to happen. At 4:50, I let Megan in through the back and at five, Sheamus filed in with my regulars.

“You’re here early,” I teased as he approached Megan and I. I knew the only thing I could do was keep it light and normal. Megan can’t leave and, eventually, a girl will come and take him away.

Megan, Sheamus, and I chatted idly as I served my regulars. We talked mainly about high school, considering we all went together, and a little about college. We talked about our jobs and that’s when Sheamus spoke up.

“Oh. That reminds me. Ah’ve got to finish fixin’ sink pipes for a friend, ah got the final piece to the sink in the mail this mornin'.” He stood up and stared right into my eyes before finishing his statement. He looked at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Ah’ll be right back, y/n. This shouldn’t take longer than 25 minutes.”

I nodded and he ran off, it was only 6:30, younger people wouldn’t start coming in until around 8.

“See, I told you I couldn’t trust him. There he goes running off to ‘fix pipes’.” I mimicked his accent. It hasn’t even been a day since he told me he’d prove that I’m more than just a body to him.

“I think you are still. He just left. We’ll figure out if he’s a liar or not in 20 minutes. If he comes back in time, I think I’d trust him. He seemed kinda worried about leaving you here.” Megan was being too rational. I needed someone to be extra crazy and not support a friend’s budding romance with Mr Lonely.

I wasn’t consciously expecting him to get back, but I was watching the door between serving customers. After 20 minutes, I craned my neck to look at the clock, 5 more minutes. I was still looking at the clock when I heard the door open, I stopped looking at the clock and there he was, walking towards me. I couldn’t help the smile on my face and Megan, upon seeing my expression change, turned too.

“Was someone waitin’ for me?” Sheamus teased once he sat back down in the stool.

I ignored his question. “How’d the sink go?” I asked, sounding more impatient than I wanted to.

“It was fine. Easy fix. I just had to attach a final piece then turn the water back on.” His voice was normal and genuine. There was no hint of guilt and I believed him.

“What about that condom you keep in your pocket? Where’s that?” Megan chimed in. My face went red, if he didn’t already know that I liked him too, he does now.

“Ah didn’t bring it…” he started, only to be cut off by Megan.

“Didn’t bring it? Or already used it?” She accused. I know I said earlier that I wanted her to be crazy. But now that she was, I’m not sure I liked it- I didn’t want her to uncover any truth I wasn’t ready for.

Sheamus looked annoyed. He didn’t focus on her when he spoke, he just kind of stared at her with a glazed over expression. “Ah didn’t bring it.” He paused. “Ah wanted to prove to y/n that I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else.” Sheamus turned to me and noticed my embarrassment and his expression changed, “plus, you know how I operate, lass, would I ever spend only 20 minutes with a woman?” His voice was almost cold, it sounded like he was almost scolding her for making me feel weird.

After the ‘scolding,’ his mannerisms instantly changed and we returned to normal conversation. Megan didn’t seem phased by his tone or gaze from seconds ago. She, like every other girl in Pittsburgh, seemed to fall for his charm and never stay mad at him.

I found it weird that Megan, nor any of my other friends, were jealous. When the rest of my group showed up around 8, they all flocked to Sheamus and Megan told them the “good news.” They were all excited for me. They were supportive and smiley, something I wasn’t expecting.

If what Sheamus wants is true, that’ll mean he’ll retire as the man you can call for a good fucking. Why are they not upset?

Sheamus turned down 3 girls at the bar that night. My friends stayed with us the majority of the night and we had a normal conversation. They no longer treated him like some god who had seen them all naked, but like a friend’s boyfriend. It was weird, but nice. I enjoyed feeling like he was mine.

I know I shouldn’t feel so comfortable right now. The only girl in the bar that he hasn’t seen naked was me. That should scare me, right? He’s seen all of my friends naked, he’s kissed them, he’s slept with them next to him, he’s had sex with them.

Why am I not scared? Y/N!!! He could have anyone in this bar. I should at least be worried!

-

Our first week “together” went by unlike any week I’ve ever had, it felt like I had been dropped into an alternate universe. Sheamus must have felt like he was going to explode- he hasn’t had sex in a week. We talked everyday, he went to work and so did I, the first night we spent together had been the only one. It should have felt normal, but it didn’t. Normally, I wouldn’t have anything to do with him, but I was beginning to understand why so many people liked having him around. Aside from the fact that I expected him to fuck another girl at any moment, he was enjoyable to be around.

It was a Wednesday, two weeks into our companionship, I had just closed the bar and Sheamus was with me. On usual weekdays, Sheamus didn’t stay too late, he worked early in the mornings and I never wanted to keep him up later than he had to be. He stayed with me tonight only because his first job of the next morning was at 11.

Sheamus was standing behind me as I was locking the door and he suddenly spoke, “Ah want ya to come back to my place tonight.” He blurted. I noticed that he had been slightly on the quieter side tonight and I knew he was mulling over something, I guess that was it.

I had never seen his apartment, rumor has it that no one has. He doesn’t bring girls back to his place… ever. I wondered why but I didn’t ask him. “Oh wow, really?” I said both excited and sarcastic.

Sheamus smirked and nodded, “C’mon, love,” he started. My heart stopped beating at the nickname. It’s not a big deal. I had to remind myself that him calling me “love” was not actually him saying he loved me. I knew the Irishman liked to tease, but something inside of me didn’t want to think of it as just a tease or a nickname. “Ya haven’t seen my flat yet.”

I followed Sheamus to his truck, he had driven me to work today, and I climbed in. The drive was filled with a comfortable silence, I caught him singing softly to the songs on the radio but I didn’t mention it. I found it cute and I knew if I called him out, he’d stop.

We arrived at his building, it was only a short drive further than mine but a lot nicer. I followed him out of the car and through the lobby. Sheamus paused to speak to the man behind the security desk. “Hey, Tony, how are ya fella?” I wasn’t surprised, Sheamus was a local personality, everyone seemed to know, and love, him.

“I’m good my man, I’m good. How are you?” His New York-Italian accent was thick. “And who is this lovely lady?” He asked, looking past Sheamus at me. “Ya know I’ve never seen this guy bring a girl here, it must be serious, huh?” I blushed and Sheamus spoke up before I could.

“This is y/n. She bartends over at Jack, ya should stop by it's a nice bar. She’s turnin’ me into an honest man.” Sheamus joked, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. I smiled up at Sheamus knowing that, despite his joking tone, he meant it.

“Well I’m happy for you two, enjoy your night.” He said happily.

“You too, Tony.” Sheamus spoke before turning toward the elevator with me still wrapped in his arms.

I looked back and waved at the man behind the desk, “It was nice meeting you.” It was the first thing I said since climbing into his truck.

“You too, y/n.”

I don’t know what I was expecting to see in Sheamus’ apartment. I kinda was picturing something like mine, small, on the cheaper side but still nice and plainly decorated. That's not what I saw. Sheamus’ apartment was much bigger than mine. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large kitchen and living room. Nice big windows that would let in wonderful natural lighting, a beautiful black leather couch, a large TV, and tasteful decor. He looked back and noted my visible confusion. “What,” he started. “You were expectin’ more of a bachelor pad, weren’t ya love?”

I nodded. “This is really nice, why do you never bring girls back here?” I didn't want to know the answer to that question originally. I had thought it was because he lived minimally, I could see now that he didn’t.

“Well ah didn’t want any of them in my house, fer some reason. Ah guess ah wanted to be able to leave. Ah don’t like them gettin’ too attached.” His reasoning was simple. “But ah want you here. Ah want you to get attached, ah’m already attached to ya I feel like it’s only fair.”

I smiled and let him lead me into his bedroom. More large windows and elegant black furniture that contrasted with the clean white walls. The only thing that hung on the wall was a Celtic Cross by his bed. He had photos and momentos, but they were in frames on his dresser and night tables. I didn’t stop myself from looking around. I picked up a picture of a small boy with pale skin and red hair smiling brightly in the arms of a jolly-looking woman with matching pale skin and mousy brown hair. “Is this you and your mom?” I asked, turning back to him with the photo in my hand.

Sheamus grinned and reached up to grab the back of his neck with his hand, I watched as his muscles flexed and the black fabric of his t-shirt rode up, showing shimmering white skin. “Yeah, that’s my ma’.” He moved to stand beside me and pointed to himself.

“You were adorable.” I said, my eyes locked on the small smiling boy in the photograph.

“Ah’m not adorable now?” He asked, a dramatic pained look on his face. I laughed at him and looked back at the small boy in the photo.

“Not as cute as you were here. When was this.” Sheamus had never talked about his life before moving. If he didn’t look or speak like a leprechaun, I wouldn’t even have known he was from Ireland.

He hesitated before leaning his chin on the top of my head, “Ah was four. She had just told me that she was takin’ me to a football game for my fifth birthday. My dad took the picture, he couldn’t come to the game, that or he didn’ want to.” Sheamus took the picture from my hands and placed back down on his dresser. “But enough of that, love.” Sheamus always seemed to know what I was thinking, he knew I wanted to ask more questions but he didn’t want to answer more questions about his father.

Sheamus turned back to me and leaned down to kiss me. His calloused hands held my face and I instantly forgot about what I wanted to ask him. He lifted me up and placed me gently on his bed before crawling over me. We remained clothed until my hands pulled on the hem of his shirt. My shirt came off after his but that was the only thing that came off. Sheamus waited until I made any moves and I didn’t want to tease him. He never made me feel bad about wanting to wait but I couldn’t help feeling a little conflicted about it. My fingernails raked over his pale skin, leaving red trails in their wake. Sheamus pulled away from my lips but didn’t go far. He moved to kiss my chin, his moustache tickled my lips. His soft lips moved down my neck to my collarbones and I couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped my lips. Sheamus pulled back briefly, smirking at the fact that he could unravel me with just his lips. My eyes shot from Sheamus’ face to his neck, exposed and strong, pale and begging to be bitten. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted my shoulders off the bed to attach my lips to his skin. Sheamus moaned as my lips ghosted along his ear and down towards his collarbone. Sheamus moved to his knees and wrapped one of his arms around my back to keep me pressed tightly against his firm body.

“Ah want ya, bad.” He moaned, his voice coming out uncontrollably. I pulled back from his neck and glared into his blue eyes. I didn’t have to speak, he knew what I was thinking. “Ah… uh. Ah mean ah want to… date ya bad.”

I smiled at him as he continued to hold me tightly against him. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what you meant.” I moved my arms from the back of his neck to cup his cheeks. I pressed my lips against his and smiled against them. Sheamus laid me back down and pulled away from the kiss.

“Ah didn’t mean to make ya uncomfortable.” His voice was soft and he looked at me sweetly. His fingers brushed across my face gently and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Sheamus,” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself up to his ear. “We’ll start dating after the first time you fuck me.” I whispered before letting myself drop onto the bed below him. I smirked as I stared up at his shocked face. His blue eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted. “But that won’t happen yet, now let's go to bed.”

Sheamus groaned dramatically and flopped onto the bed beside me. He rolled out of bed only to take off his jeans. He tossed me a pair of sweatpants and asked if I wanted a shirt, I took off my own jeans and agreed to the shirt. The shirt was green and soft, it had an Irish flag across the chest. I turned away from him and slipped my bra off before pulling the shirt over my head. It was long and reached above my mid-thigh. I didn’t put on the pants, the shirt was long enough. Sheamus smirked as he watched me crawl back into bed. Ah could get used to this. He pulled the white sheets and puffy black comforter over us before he wrapped his arm around my waist. His bed was soft and warm, my clothed back was pressed against his bare torso and my bare legs were tangled in his.

I could get used to this.

Part 3