#yeah I do stuff on purpose. I know I'm doing it

[mayapapaya33]

Well, I haven't read the origins comic yet, so I'll take your word for that. Some of the comic stuff is a bit wibbly on canon so I'm not sure if I do take it as campaign canon really, but I'll just go with it for the purposes of this conversation. (The fact that she never once mentions being run out of town by Yeza in the campaign makes that a little weird but sure ok. It also feels a little retconny to brush over her major fear that her family would reject her even if they DID know it was her under the curse, which was what was implied to be a big reason she stayed away in the campaign, in favor of it being because they DID chase her away based purely on what she looked like before she could say anything. It feels...strange. I'm not sure how I feel about it, I'll have to think about it. It just feels like after the fact justification of her staying away from them to me, but oh well. LET WOMEN BE FLAWED 2025! lol I am eventually going to get my hands on all of the origins comics, I just haven't done so yet.)

My point wasn't really a moral argument about Veth and Lilliana having done equally bad things in the world, obviously that's not true. I could have said It better, but I guess I just thought that was obvious and I was tired? lol, silly me. So to make it clearer: Veth is a hero who helped save the world, and Liliana fell in with a cult and did terrible things under the woefully misguided belief she was doing the right thing. I'm more saying I could see Veth turning out like Liliana if things went differently and their initial act of abandonment is fundamentally similar. Also, it's not just the hag thing btw, that was just the most obvious and memorable example I could reference and know everyone would know what I was talking about without writing a 5 page essay and hunting down obscure time stamps lol.

Another example was her stance in that discussion about justice and vengeance from ep 98 (26:26) with Caduceus. Cad basically said: Hey, going after criminals in the Empire sounds great if you can be smart about it, but if you're just doing it to make yourself feel better, I don't really see the point of that, so maybe don't because you'll probably restart the war if you aren't extremely careful. And Veth's response was very understandable from her characters pov, but makes me think that, yeah, in the right circumstances, she'll do what she wants, when she wants, and damn the consequences and it won't be about justice, it'll be about making herself feel good and she'll find the internal justification she needs to. "You can stand by -You can just watch bad people get away with it?" If the price of stopping one bad person is reigniting a WAR, um yeah, I can Veth. He's basically saying, don't cause more problems than you are going to fix by your actions, and interrogate your motivations and she wasn't having it. I think he might have gotten through to her in the end but I'm not sure because they "dissolved" using mouth sounds and hand waving into the next scene of Jester finding Marion.

There are many things that make me think this about her. Anger and desperation can cause people to make poor decisions. (I think you might have misconstrued the one bit where I was debating whether letting your family think you were dead and staying gone or just saying goodbye and abandoning them was actually worse or not, I personally vote dead being worse but I'm genuinely not sure, like I said. So, in that one aspect I think Veth's worse, but not for everything lol. The misguided hope left behind from what Liliana did might be worse.)

My point was that they both abandoned their families in order to solve a problem. Yes, Liliana left "voluntarily" right from the start in the sense that she wasn't kidnapped by goblins and transformed against her will, her "against her will change" was foisted upon her by a God Eater trapped in moon jail instead. She was essentially kidnapped by her own powers, she couldn't control them and needed to figure out what they were and how to deal with them. So yes, it was a choice for her to leave as you so aptly pointed out, just not quite as voluntary a choice as people keep presenting it as. I suppose it's more accurate for me to say it was Liliana's choice to leave, and Veth's choice to STAY gone (yes, even with the addition of the comic lore).

Don't you remember early campaign Imogen constantly having to be careful and worried about her telepathy? How it hurt her to be in large crowds? How her town DID treat her like garbage, like a pariah, "like an outright monster" even. It's not like Liliana left for fun. She was scared she was going to hurt someone if she didn't learn how to control herself, and worried that Imogen would develop those powers too. (That was her initial reasoning, and then things devolved of course). You said it yourself; The Grim Verity was taking too long, and she wanted to go home so she fell in with Ludinus and co because he promised answers and a solution.

Veth's initial separation from her family OBVIOUSLY wasn't her fault, and apparently in the comics she tried to go home and was run off for looking like a goblin. Well, that truly sucks for Comic Book Veth and she has my sympathy. There are still a variety of things she could have done, including once she befriended Caleb enough where she trusted him, have him go to Yeza in person and explain the curse and everything while she hid at the outskirts of town. She could have told Caleb a bunch of things only Veth would know to help convince Yeza, Etc.

At a certain point, Veth's Choice to stay away from her family was just as voluntary as Liliana's. She could have tried (or tried again if comics are canon) at any time, and she didn't. The problem wasn't solved so they "couldn't" go home and then events spiraled. Again, they aren't the same, I just think their situations parallel each other interestingly. Becoming "not a goblin" was not the only way for Veth to reunite with her family. It's perfectly understandable that she thought that it was considering all of her trauma and her shame and her fear, but that doesn't make it true. It was still an active choice that she made to not try to reunite with her family until she looked "normal" again, even once her circumstances had changed and she could have had help. She didn't try because she didn't want her family seeing her like that and because she was scared of what they would think. (Again, very understandable, but still a choice). What if Caleb couldn't find a way to change her back into a halfling? Would she never have gone home, continuing to look for a solution?

Liliana "couldn't" go home until she understood and could control her powers, a reasonable yet tragic decision, which then spiraled into it being that she "couldn't" go home until she helped "save" the world from the tyranny of the Gods, etc. Somewhat less reasonable I think you'll agree. How long does Veth's decision to not try (or not try again) to reunite with her family until she's no longer a goblin remain reasonable? One year? Five years? Ten years? It was a combination of luck and hard work that got her a new body as relatively fast as she did. Caleb and Essek meeting and becoming magic bffs might never have happened without Caleb's "I'm never going back to jail" moment in the Bright Queen's throne room for example lol.

More than all of that though, I'm not a huge fan of Veth's parenting while she IS present in Luc's life but seeing as Liliana hasn't really been present in Imogen's life for more than like a month, that's about where any parallels or comparisons stop lmfao. A lot of Veth's bad parenting once she's back in Luc's life is also due to the fact that Sam Riegel is a comedian first and an actor second so if he sees an opportunity to be funny, he'll pounce. Which unfortunately for poor Veth, does mean that if you look at her with a sober eye she comes across as a dreadful parent. Hilarious of course, but I did end up feeling bad for Yeza whenever I saw him futilely trying to be responsible whenever the M9 came trampling through their lives being bad influences. Honestly, she wonders why teenage Luc is like that! I learned it from watching you mom!

If the Good Moms of Critical Role ever learn about the shit Liliana's pulled it's on sight 😤

[gigiszn]

hi!! i LOVE ur gwi-nam sm :)

ik he isn’t a great person but he’s just so hot and i’m so glad there’s more ppl writing for himmm😭

i was wondering if you could write some fluff for him? like him protecting the reader but veryyy reluctantly bc he still has to keep up his tough guy appearance yk? bc lets be honest if he’s protecting you he’s gonna make it seem like such a chore😭 and if you dm could you use y/n or reader? i know you don’t like using y/n and stuff so if you don’t want to that’s okay! :)

SEVEN MINUTES — gwi-nam x fem!reader

no i totally agree that he'd see it as a chore.. like in his mind he'd know that he'd literally die to protect you but then when it comes to doing it he'd be all 'yeah yeah i'm only doing it bcs i want to..' it's nice to write him in a fluff, i'm the type of person who always tries to see the best in everyone and what better way than to write about it?

and i totally do not mind writing y/n / reader fics! if that's what the audience wants thats what the audience gets :) <33

here's some gwinam fluff for u babe!!

tw: blood, mentions of attack, mentions of zombies, written in 2nd pov,,

wc: 2.7k

FLUFF!

۫ ꣑ৎ ｡°‧⭑.��

To do list for today:

Do laundry? Check. Get to school on time? Sorta-check. Fight off brain-eating zombies?

At this moment, you couldn’t even entertain the thought of checking that box off. You were lying flat on the cold cafeteria floor, your vision blurry as you stared up at the classmate that'd be sure to make you his lunch instead of the gimbap and kimchi. On top of you, the boy you’d sat next to in math just this morning was animalistic, uncontrollable, with blood dripping from his face. He was a still, haunting reminder of how quickly everything had spiraled out of control.

The blood that had splattered across his face was now seeping onto your own, a chilling, sticky warmth that had your stomach turning. You could barely hear the chaos over the rush of your heartbeat, but the eerie groans of zombies and their shuffling footsteps filled your ears. Your mind was struggling to keep up, caught between the instinct to fight back and the cold reality that it might be too late.

Your body felt frozen, unable to move, as if you were stuck in place by some invisible force. The cafeteria was a warzone now—tables upended, broken chairs scattered across the floor, and the grotesque sound of gnawing filling the air as people ran around you. Every inch of your being screamed for you to get up, to run, to do anything, but your legs felt like lead. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. You were just there, waiting for the inevitable.

Then, in the midst of it all, a sharp sound cut through your panic—a grunt, a struggle, and suddenly the weight of the boy who had been lying on top of you was yanked off. Your heart skipped, and you blinked, trying to focus through the haze.

Before you could even react, you looked up—and there he was.

Gwi-nam?

The last person you ever expected to see in this nightmare.

Gwi-nam. Your past. Your confusion. The boy you had once cared for, the one you had loved, but also the one you’d distanced yourself from because of everything he’d done. It wasn’t just the bullying, or the way he made others feel helpless and small—it was how you felt helpless in his presence, like there was nothing you could do to stop him.

But now, there he was, his dark eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. His chest rose and fell quickly, and his expression was a mix of focus and something you couldn’t quite place.

You didn’t know whether to feel relief or dread.

Without hesitation, he grabbed your arm and pulled you to your feet. You didn’t argue, couldn’t argue. There was no time. In a swift motion, he guided you toward the kitchen, moving with a purpose that left no room for doubt. His grip on you was firm, almost urgent, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. The chaos around you had left you disoriented, and for the first time in what felt like hours, you felt like you had a sliver of hope.

The kitchen door slammed shut behind you as you tumbled inside, and Gwi-nam immediately shoved you under the counter, lowering you into the cramped space. You had barely settled when you heard the sound of his footsteps behind you, his body pressing against your back as he slid into place. The tight space left little room to move, but there was a strange comfort in knowing you weren’t alone—not that you could have moved if you wanted to. The air was thick, the stench of decay mixing with the lingering scent of food and sweat. Your heart pounded in your ears, every beat a reminder that time was running out.

Two other figures huddled in the kitchen with you, a boy and a girl. They were breathing heavily, clearly as terrified as you were. You couldn’t tell how many zombies were in the building anymore—too many had already been drawn into the chaos—but the muffled groans told you that they were close, too close for comfort.

You pressed your back further into Gwi-nam’s chest, trying to steady your breathing. The sensation of his warmth against you was oddly grounding, though it didn’t ease the panic building in your chest. You didn’t know if you could trust him, not really—not after everything—but there was no time for doubt now. You just had to hold on, survive, and hope that the world outside this kitchen would make sense again when you stepped out of it.

The zombies hadn’t reached the kitchen yet, but you knew it was only a matter of time before they found you. The fear in your stomach twisted tighter with every passing second. The kitchen, once a mundane place, had turned into a prison—a place of both safety and suffocating confinement.

You sat there, your head resting against the cold, hard edge of the counter, trying to breathe through the fear that was clawing its way up your throat. Gwi-nam’s breathing was steady behind you, but the tension between you two was palpable. The silence in the cramped space was deafening, broken only by the faint noises from the rest of the building. The zombies hadn’t given up yet. You could hear their shuffling steps, their guttural groans drifting through the walls.

But for now, you were alive.

And maybe that was enough.

You turned your head, feeling the weight of time stretching on for what felt like hours. You had to stay quiet—every sound, every breath, seemed like it could betray your hiding spot. The floor beneath you was cold, your body stiff with the effort to stay still. Slowly, you shifted your body, now facing Gwi-nam, who was focused on the girl next to you. His eyes were intent on her, his finger pressed to his lips, signaling her to stay silent. He was too busy trying to calm her to notice your movements.

You held your breath. The sound of shuffling footsteps and distant groans filled the air, making your heart race in time with your pulse. It was only a matter of time before the undead would find their way under the counter.

As you were about to speak, hoping to get his attention, Gwi-nam’s patience seemed to snap. Without a word, he shoved the girl aside, moving with quick, calculated precision. Before you could even process what was happening, a nearby cafeteria worker—now one of the zombies—lunged at her, grabbing her in a flash. The girl let out a muffled scream, but there was nothing anyone could do. She was already torn into, the floor painted with her ruby liquid.

You froze, a gasp rising from your chest. Your instincts kicked in, and you tried to make a move, to run, to help, but Gwi-nam’s hand shot up to cover your mouth, pulling you back into his arms with surprising strength. His grip was firm, preventing you from doing anything rash.

You could feel his heart beating against your back as he held you tightly, his other hand pressing gently but urgently against your chest. His body was solid behind you, a strange sense of security amidst the chaos. But the sound of the girl’s panicked cries was still ringing in your ears, followed by a terrible silence.

The boy who had been hiding with you had lunged forward in an attempt to rescue her, but he was quickly overtaken by the swarm. His struggles were brief, his fate sealed in seconds. The sounds of his cries were drowned out by the savage growls of the people you'd once called friends.

Everything went still. For a moment, it was like the world had paused, your breath caught in your throat. The cold air of the kitchen felt heavier now, suffocating. You wanted to scream, to break down, but your body wouldn’t let you. Instead, a tight knot of fury twisted in your chest.

You turned to face Gwi-nam, your eyes burning with anger. You slapped his hand away, the sound of it harsh in the silence. "You're still the same old Gwi-nam, even now?" you whispered, your voice shaking with a mix of fear and fury. The words stung as they left your lips, the truth of them hitting harder than you expected.

You grabbed hold of his shirt, your fists trembling with the weight of your emotions. You tugged him closer, your eyes locked onto his. You needed him to understand, to feel how much this hurt. "How could you just let that happen?" you spat out, your voice bitter, almost breaking under the strain of everything that had built up between you.

“Just shut up and stop complaining, y/n!” For a moment, there was nothing but silence, the kind that felt too loud, too heavy. The tension between you both crackled in the air, and you wondered if this would be the moment he pushed you away for good.

Instead, his hands moved slowly, cautiously, as if he was afraid you would break if he moved too quickly. He reached out, pulling you toward him. His embrace was surprisingly gentle, wrapping around you tightly, as if he was afraid you might disappear if he let go.

You froze. You were confused, unsure how to react. For a long moment, your hands hovered in the air, uncertain. Your breath caught in your throat, your body tense with the whirlwind of emotions you were trying to sort through.

Everything inside you screamed to pull away, to resist the closeness, but in that moment, you couldn’t find the strength to do it. Slowly, almost reluctantly, you lowered your hands, your fingers touching his back. The warmth of his body against yours was a strange comfort amidst the chaos, but it didn’t make sense. You weren’t sure if you were angry, scared, or both.

“I would always do anything to save you,” Gwi-nam whispered into your ear, his voice low and sincere, but there was something else there—a weight, a hidden truth behind the words. “Always—Even if it means making impossible choices. So stop whining and just let me fucking save us.”

The air around you grew thick, and for a brief second, the noise of the world outside seemed to fade away. His words settled into your mind, sinking in deeper than you wanted them to. You wanted to argue, to tell him how wrong he was, but the truth was harder to deny than you cared to admit. There was a darkness in this world now—a darkness that forced people to do things they might never have thought possible.

And in that darkness, Gwi-nam’s words felt like a promise. A promise to protect you, no matter the cost.

You squeezed your eyes shut, the weight of everything hitting you all at once. The memories of everything that had come before—the moments of laughter, the shared secrets, the way he once made you feel so alive in a world that now felt so dead—came rushing back. It was all so complicated now. The love, the hurt, the distance. The world had torn you apart, and you weren’t sure if you could put the pieces back together.

You could feel Gwi-nam’s hand tightening at the back of your head, his fingers gently pressing against your scalp as he held you closer. It wasn’t forceful or aggressive, but it was a silent promise, a quiet reassurance that despite the destruction, despite the monsters that now roamed the world, you wouldn’t have to face this alone.

The next moment flew by in a blur. The two first-years who had left the counter—now twisted and zombified—lunged toward you with unsettling speed. He didn't hesitate. Grabbing a metal table, he shoved it toward the oncoming attackers, creating just enough space for you to slip away. His hand shot out, grabbing yours with urgency, and together, you barreled toward the cafeteria window above the sink. Without a word, he hoisted you up, his grip tightening as he pulled you through.

You tumbled into the alley beyond, adrenaline coursing through your veins. Your hearts pounded as you ran hand-in-hand, the shuffling footsteps of the zombies close behind. An idea sparked in your mind—a plan, however small. You tugged him with purpose toward the building, the one the two of you had snuck behind every day to escape the chaos of high school life. It was familiar, a small piece of normalcy in a world turned upside down.

The zombies were close—too close—but as you scaled a ventilator and pressed your backs against the cool metal of the machine, they lost your trail. The world felt distant now, the cacophony of screeches and growls slowly fading into the distance.

Time stretched, becoming a slow, agonizing pulse. You lay still, barely breathing, watching as the night swallowed the world around you. Minutes—or was it hours?—passed before you finally sat up, cautiously peering through the shadows. The weight of the silence pressed in around you.

"Holy shit," you muttered under your breath.

Gwi-nam laughed softly beside you, breaking the tension. You both sat in quiet companionship for a while, catching your breath. Your mind spun, but you focused on the immediate task at hand: survival. The conversation meandered, but all you could think about was getting the two of you somewhere safe. Away from this nightmare.

The moon hung low in the sky, casting pale light over the ruined world below, but the time was irrelevant now. Nothing mattered except the here and now. Your breath steadied, but there was an undeniable unease in the air.

"Did you know," you spoke up, your voice surprisingly calm, "when you die, you see seven minutes of your best memories before it all ends?"

He tilted his head, eyebrow raised, his voice laced with a hint of mischief. "You think we're gonna die?"

Your lips curled into a half-smile as you shrugged, a touch of uncertainty in your eyes. "I don't know. Maybe."

For a long moment, the only sound was the distant hum of the night. His gaze never left you, searching your face for something, something that lingered between the weight of the world and the quiet comfort of your presence. Slowly, he reached for your hand. His grip was warm against the cool night air.

"You’d be my seven minutes," he said, his voice low, almost a whisper.

You met his gaze, the soft glow of the moonlight illuminating the quiet intensity in his eyes. For a brief second, it felt like the entire world—zombies, the chaos, the desperation—faded away. As you held his stare, the weight of everything that had happened, and everything that could still happen, seemed to evaporate, leaving nothing but the two of you. The shadows of the world around you dissolved, like a fading nightmare. In that moment, the air between you thickened, your breath mingling as you whispered, “And you’d be mine.”

It was as if time had suspended itself, the violence of the world slipping into the background, becoming just a distant memory, a figment of imagination. There was nothing but him, nothing but this fragile, precious quiet. You leaned in, the space between you shrinking, your heart racing in anticipation of something simple yet profound.

Just before your lips could meet, your hand instinctively rose, and with a single finger, you pressed it lightly between your lips, halting the moment. His eyes searched yours, a quiet smile forming at the corners of his mouth. “Save the kiss for when we make it out of here,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper, as though the words themselves might be a secret only meant for this fragile slice of time.

A playful glint flickered in his eyes, and before you could fully process it, he swept you into his arms, pulling you close in a tight, almost reckless squeeze. The sudden closeness caught you off guard, but there was comfort in it—a promise that, for now, you were safe in his arms, even if only for a moment.

“Deal,” he whispered with a chuckle, his voice low and warm against your ear. You could feel the warmth of his breath, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and for the briefest instant, it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist—just the two of you, holding on to something that felt like hope, something that might just get you both through the nightmare you found yourselves in.

[merge-conflict]

18, 74, 26 for the fic writer asks! 🖤

Questions here

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I usually retitle a fic or chapter at least once. I used to sit and agonize over the coolest title and just could NOT move on until I've done it, but now I just relax because I know I can update it. Generally what it's named in my Scrivener project is just some sort of placeholder or feeling. My usual vibe is "lyrics from a song which vibes" (yes. it is often the mountain goats... but not always! sometimes it's brown bird.) or "common phrase, but changed slightly" or "technical in-joke". Whatever I find most amusing.

Recently posted a fic called "done dying" which was originally titled "anthem for the already defeated" both of them from song titles (the first is actually "When I Was Done Dying"). I wrote all of the "the binds that tie" (playing with "the ties that bind") before settling on the title, but in my drafts it was always 'sudo chown -R vim:vim .' (now the chapter title). I like to have my cake and eat it too whenever possible. For stuff I can't come up with names for I've started titling them 'scrap: brief summary' or something I think is grandiose or funny so I can stop obsessing over it and start writing lol.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Gosh. I've been thinking about this lately, and I do think I have a distinctive style but it's hard to describe because it's just.. the way I write? I know I have a problem repeating adjectives like 'just' 'some' 'only' a lot, so that's one give away. My habit of just smash-cutting into the middle of a scene without much setup is probably another. My habit of using repetitive sentence construction to hammer in a point. My habit of writing too much damn banter.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Tbh the damn things overlap was created to be each damn thing overlapping the next, a huge mess, very little time to breathe (condensing the canon timeline down to about two weeks of Valentine going through main storyline stuff. ~a week of which is actually in the the fic!) I wanted to write a story where you feel relieved when characters get to sit down or take a nap, and I think I've succeeded thus far.

Honorable mention to when her edges soften, where Johnny and Valentine hit the town and each other. Straight from "I'm not gonna fuck you" to competitively tracking the number of orgasms they've both had in the past 3 hours while fucking in alleyways and cars. That might qualify as a sort of wild ride. :3

[lightnersdream]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[lilliemadoka]

catch u on the flipside 😘✨

(cleaned up sketch under the cut because i kinda liked it a lot. please ignore the shoes i couldn't be bothered to fix them. it's all sketchy and weird just PLEASE b nice 2 me...)

[ff2-soda-pop]

I love playing a game and having an experience where I'm like "is this a glitch or is this an intended feature? I don't know"

[fvckw4d]

The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."

[onesidedradiostatic]

tbh im a little more worried about the sheer number of people ive seen who just straight up don't know who cain and abel are 😭 im not even christian but i always figured that was one part of bible lore that's common knowledge??

id expect people to not know who seth is- adam and eve's third child who was born specifically as a gift from god, to replace abel after he died and cain was banished. i get that, bc he's not the one with the important symbolic story like his parents and brothers. but come on guys. cain and abel are everywhere.

(prev)

you know tbh I'll be very real with you I know more about cain and abel from the internet than I do as a raised catholic LMAO but idk if that's because I just barely paid attention or retained info from catechism/religious classes or if it's because they just focused on the new testament more

also told an irl friend who was also raised catholic about the hazbin abel reveal and they asked me who abel was so I don't think at least for us being raised with christianity helped us with that knowledge LMAO but yeah I think being on the internet enough most would at least have heard of them

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2023. ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE by Gabriel García Márquez.

Currently reading! This has been languishing on the TBR for a While™ and came highly recommended by a bookstore coworker. I'm only a couple chapters in, so far, and the family tree is ~Messy~, but the prose is lyrical and lovely!

[daisywords]

if youtube is going to insist on having that many ads, they should at least give me the option to do them all at once at the beginning. interspersing the ads throughout is wrong and evil. So is making them play at the end (if you do this they should be ones that don't have sound. blease.) Anyway this environment is absolutely inhospitable to someone here to listen to ambient music while working (me) or stuff specifically designed to fall asleep to. to, you know, fall asleep to (also me).

[skrunksthatwunk]

just read shin devilman and i'm about to be so annoying what the FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (both /pos and /neg but frankly /baffled. what the fuck. anyway thoughts below)

ok so i knew sd (i'm just gonna call it sd) was gonna be weird right. it has TOS style gratuitous funny time travel plots and TOS style homoeroticism it's like. it's mostly there to see ryo and akira hang out in a variety of Historical Events/Settings/Clothes and that's fine. in theory.

chapter one fucking. i. okay i had this foreboding sense right like oh... they're in vienna in 1913 and my first thought was "do i google when hitler was born + is this a "do we kill baby hitler" time travel theoretical??" and i was like no no he would've been older. anyway it's gotta be a coincidence right hitler's not going to be in this. and then we meet this painter. his name is adolf. oh god. he hates jewish people. oh no. but everybody was antisemetic back then it like,, it might be a hitler symptom but this could still be another unaffiliated adolf. oh but his hair's greasy. but he doesn't have the mustache so maybe it cancels out? and as it goes on im like seeing okay his jewish.. art dealer(?) is selling this portrait of his unrequited love to another jewish man and i'm like oh god Please don't do what i think you're going to do with this but also debating whether or not i want this to be hitler because on one hand it would be an awful narrative choice. like politics aside (we'll get there) it's just so goddamn tacky. but on the other hand my fear and increasing belief that go nagai is about to reveal this guy to be THE adolf hitler is building up pressure for a fit of hysterical laughter that i Know is likely coming. god it would be so baffling and so so funny and

i howled. is my point.

like i cannot express to you how fucking mind melting this was to me. for the next couple hours of reading i would just stop and (unprompted) whisper adolf..! adolf hitler...!! to myself like. god what a fucking. just look at it god i don't have to explain LOOK AT THIS SHIT. LOOK AT IT. he animorphs into evil older hitler. it's in Such poor taste and it has Such fucking. dumb implications. we'll get there.

what else. oh i love how nagai doesn't even bother with explaining them adjusting to places most of the time. next chapter BOOM they're in armor on a boat ready for battle. did they just pop out of the dimensional rift like that? in historically appropriate roles/clothing? that doesn't always happen though bc ryo has to get them clothes for versailles next chapter. but we meet them with the cheyenne and it looks like they've been there a while so. idk it's goofy to me. he really said i am not putting all that effort into a drabble.

pivot but i like how dumb yaoi-coded a lot of sd is. i read it for The Scene (the "akira im not into women i um. i. uh" scene) but it still kind of surprised me sometimes. i would be chastising myself for looking at akira diving overboard to save ryo (in full armor) bc it's not Really gay to save his best friend's life right and then that's Immediately followed by this

im fucking losing my mind. kyaa don't take off my armor (baka). what am i doing. what was HE doing writing this. etc.

^^i didn't even gather everything gay i saw because eventually it started feeling about as enlightening as pointing out the gay bits in a ryokira doujin. but those are some highlights i guess. you think they encountered homosexuality in the ancient grecian military? surely not...... unless..............? (also they're bound by fate..... look i know they're almost The most literal iteration of that dynamic but. i know what you are)

i love this bit. zero stakes. "yeah greece kinda ate shit" "lol exactly like--" "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WALK!!!!!!!!!"

what else what else. oh this panel was funny. only her left arm is being severed here so that right shoulder is supposed to connect to her back. somehow. spot the difference!

THEY GOT FLAT STANLEYED

another panel i liked. the h in dhevilman stands for head empty

this one too. the scan was actual shit so i kept not seeing the guns so this was Extra jarring to me

also look at these little blurbs at the end. iirc they only did those for the joan of arc and little bighorn stories and LOOK HOW DIFFERENT THEY ARE TONALLY

like the joan chapter is largely sweet? i guess? it's supposed to be a happy ending and it's like aww (though. i don't think joan would be like "an angel in the form of a demon... :)" but whatever) and then it's like Yeah Well She WAS Tried For Being A Witch. By Humans. And Was Burned Alive. it's super jarring and then the little bighorn one is like "sometimes they put this in movies!" as if we didn't just see people get massacred???

actually that brings me back to the hitler thing. i'm kinda new to devilman so take this with a grain of salt but part of what i appreciated about How devilman's apocalypse happens is that like.. demons weren't Really in control of humanity's governments or anything. they inspired paranoia that exacerbated preexisting prejudice and selfishness and led people to view the marginalized as the most dangerous For their past oppression, and humanity tore itself apart. and when there was a little compilation of the groups targeted in this, jewish people (specifically in the context of the holocaust) and native americans were both brought up, and i respected that as well. devilman takes place in our world, so discussing these atrocities and ongoing bigotries is like,, relevant and important for what it's trying to do, i feel. it wasn't focused on much, but it stuck out to me, and i think it shows a degree of care about those genocides on the part of nagai.

but i think mentioning them in passing and from a contemporary perspective was a bit safer. you have to be a lot more careful doing historical fiction/time travel misadventures about Very Real atrocities for your Very Unreal Fantasy Romp. and i think that because nagai feels moved by these atrocities and because they're kind of important to devilman and what it's saying about humanity, he felt it would fit to have them in a devilman story that includes time travel (or perhaps he was just inclined due to artistic preferences. either way). i think it also makes sense to explore, in theory. yet any time you insert your fantasy bullshit as a cause for/major factor in An Actual Irl Genocide/Etc you kind of trivialize it. not quite the same, but the closest other example i could think of was how motherfucker supreme jk row.ling took the witch burnings and was like haha that was witches playing pranks on stupid idiot muggles. they were laughing btw. real actual irl people were murdered!! i'm not saying you can never joke about it or mess with it but when you're treating them as serious events And Also going "well actually it was my Dumb Fantasy Thing that caused that" you like.. make it about your dumb fantasy thing instead. the dead are reduced to props.

ch 1's depiction of hitler was of one who already hated jewish people before watching his beloved be burned alive by a jewish(?) demon (a demon masquerading as a jewish person? yeah), but who decided to dedicate his life to jewish extermination Because of that event. and i think the decisions to have him hate jewish people before this AND to not make him a demon are good. this could've been worse. but it still kind of makes the holocaust about demons, y'know? hitler was a person, one influenced by the world in which he lived. countless surrounding factors led to his hatred of jewish people, his attraction to fascism, and his genocidal project. the same is true for everyone involved in perpetuating or tolerating the holocaust. there is no inciting incident, really, for that hatred existing. not for most people. devilman is fundamentally concerned with the nature of group hatred, fear, bigotry, and violence. i would argue they're within its central bundle of inextricable themes (no matter how many adaptations try to, y'know. extricate it). exploring historical instances of that makes sense. but disregarding all of that nuance in favor of "demons tricked him" is in bafflingly poor taste. it's one thing to place demons in a contemporary/future-set story manipulating governments and encouraging violence, but it's another to make the murders of millions of Actual Real Not-Props-For-Your-Spinoff people retroactively caused by demonic influences. because it kind of decreases the agency of the Actual Real murderers. in sd they were tormented, deceived, manipulated by higher forces. in reality they were manipulated, maybe, but by humans. the same is true for the little bighorn chapter. admittedly, i'm less familiar with this event, but it seems... vaguely accurate? to my memory? regardless, taking a massacre that was part of a genocidal effort spanning centuries and going "custer had demons in his heart >:(" is like. revolting to me! and i don't think it's even a like,, metaphorical demon in the hearts of him and his men because we see a very literal demon in marie antoinette's heart the chapter prior. i think it's supposed to be the same thing. symbolic, maybe, but in-story there is in fact a literal demonic possession causing this. as opposed to the propaganda, violence, willful ignorance, greed, callousness, etc which actually caused it. it's like.. anti-relevance. anti-poignance. even if the demons are symbolic of like. humanity's base instincts or whatever i still don't like it. it's stupid and it sucks. and you've got like. tiana getting raped. and because of the context she's a sort of stand-in for everyone who experienced sexual violence as part of this genocide. and it's got the go nagai depictions of sexual violence funk on it (i need to finish devilman lady but Oh Boy) so it's like yucky and that makes the depiction of the genocide broadly yucky because it's again a snapshot of an actual THING that HAPPENED to REAL PEOPLE and it still has the horny funk and. god am i making sense?? whatever it's like. bad to me. i'm not saying you can't like shin devilman or whatever but this part was gross and as hard as the hitler twist made me laugh it was simply not worth it. the toybox approach to historical fiction is Not Good when you start putting in real atrocities and real people, imo. you can't blame hitler's antisemitism on demons bc that primes people to dismiss others as Just Evil it encourages an ignorance that perpetuates genocide and also it's just kind of bad for your story's like.. social commentary. devilman feels like an indictment of humanity but sd almost feels like it's excusing humanity for the same actions bc of the retroactive thing. it's like devilman's demons weren't manipulating humans who independently had a pattern of mass violence for xyz reasons but instead were the secret cause of every cycle of mass violence humans did. it blows!! genuinely open to differing views on the fucking political commentary in shin devilman but idk i just uh. don't think it was good. as someone who's fresh off a first read.

idk. um. i thought shy ryo was interesting.

tbh it doesn't seem like,, in line with my image of ryo from the original series? but i kind of like it when characters are unexpectedly shy, so it's cute to me. i have to wonder when in the process of writing devilman nagai decided ryo was 1) in love with akira and 2) intersex (something ryo if not nagai himself explicitly ties into his interest in men), because the whole thing feels... different than devilman irt that dynamic. i mean, i've been talking about how gay sd is, but i genuinely think a lot of that comes from a desire to depict their relationship with those things in mind, both for the audience and (again, potentially) the author. making ryo more shy in like.. a kind of effeminate way? (idk man idk) feels like the sort of not-quite-retcon that'd stem from that.

actually i kind of liked his relationship with tiana, brief as it was, and what it highlighted about ryo. he blushes when he realizes she's into him, and while he sort of rebuffs her flirting, it's clear that he still cares about her. he's flustered by the situation because it puts him in an awkward spot, not being able to say why he's not interested (and who he's actually interested in). it's a less-discussed and honestly very relatable part of being gay and closeted that was like,, pleasantly surprising to see. hell yeah. and that bit about ryo being unable to kill animals where she says he has a gentle heart is so cute to me

they're friends!! :> and that rules. i think there's a tendency to depict queer characters who don't (and are unable to) reciprocate the feelings of a straight character as being cold to them. and i think it would be really easy to take this gay sort-of-villain in ryo and make him disregard tiana (or women broadly)'s feelings (the gay misogynist trope). but ryo is tiana's friend. her crush isn't going to change that, because the friendship is genuine and comes first, and i like that. and i think in the context of sd we're supposed to read ryo's feelings for akira as ultimately unrequited. he loves akira, and akira loves miki. but that's not why they're not friends in the end. i see ryo/tiana and ryo/akira as parallel relationships. that in a world where ryo confesses and akira doesn't reciprocate, they would still be friends (something especially powerful with a gay character, who're treated as if they perverted a perfectly normal friendship). it's kind of sweet and hopeful, even if you know their relationship's going to end for other reasons soon enough. and he cries when he sees her dead!! i know that feels like a no-brainer to have characters cry when they see people massacred (people who took care of them for weeks) but it's not a given!! and again it shows that he cared for her rather than being like pshuh. women. which again a lot of people inject into their gay guy characters. like i'm glad that one of the adjustments made to ryo's character Was Not That (phew) but instead something that kind of made him more similar to tiana, made him relate to her even though her crush made him feel a bit awkward. like. there's room for exploration there, with him projecting his own awkwardness onto akira and stuff. anyway. yeah i wish she was a more developed character bc she is very much a brown girl there to fall in love with a foreign stranger, highlight elements of his character, and then die horribly but that doesn't mean i don't like what was there, i guess, so much as what wasn't.

[deeisace]

..

[dan-crimes]

LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Hello.

You and gay-jesus-probably have successfully made me question everything with your view that Tears of the Kingdom is imperialist propaganda, so that's been fun.

Anyway, I decided to share this discussion with the Zelda fans on reddit, and perhaps unsurprisingly, a lot of them disagreed. Here is what they said (I'm Alarming_Afternoon44):

So what do you think? Have I and all these other people just been duped by the game's manipulative framing? Or do they actually have a point?

And if you'd rather not answer this, or would prefer if I censored the usernames, just tell me and I'll delete this.

Hey! Thanks a lot for reaching out, and I'm glad it made you think stuff through!!

Honestly, as I mentioned in this post, I am not super interested about in-world conversations about who oppresses who, because what can be assessed from the game is super vague and more vibes-based than evidence-based. Within the text, of course that the Good Zonais are good and the Bad Ganondorf is bad! But that's my whole point! The narrative has been deliberately crafted so that the zonais and Rauru (and Hyrule) are as blameless as possible (and it's not doing a great job at it overall to be frank; we would not be having these conversations about how offputting it all feels for a non-zero number of people if it did do a great job). More importantly, I want to focus on what sort of real-life narrative it all parallels. Because people make stories, and people live in the real world.

Not going after everyone's throat here, gamedev is hard and the hydras that are AAA game production do end up doing super weird stuff, especially since the thematic ramifications are absolutely never prioritized (and it's also always the same kind of people who make the final calls and push out what can and can't be talked about also). And as fans, we tend to have trouble stepping outside the lens of lore and take a look at the bigger picture sometimes; not as an attack on any individual part of that decision-making process but to just pause, stop, and question our standards, our priorities and the kind of reality (or skewing of reality) the stories we tell each other reflect.

Again: do we want to take videogames seriously or not? If we do, then we need to accept they are a vehicle for ideology, just like any other artform. And sometimes, you push out questionable ideology, sometimes without meaning to, because you didn't unpack your own biases as you did. And it's even fine to do it, nobody is perfect, a 300+ people team spread over 6 years certainly will not be that. But that it wasn't prioritized is, in my opinion, a problem. As a narrative designer, I want games (at least the narrative side) to be held to a higher standard than this. It's literally my job to work with the industry so it can hold itself to higher standards of quality --so the whole TotK situation is quite frustrating to witness from a very pragmatic, work perspective where I already spend my days trying to convince people that things mean things. I have a vested interest here in not having the companies I work for being given a free pass by gamers to do literally whatever as long as it's fun, especially when we're talking about a billion-dollars company suing its own fans left and right for any perceived slight. Nintendo are not underdogs here. It's fine to point out they cut corners and maybe promoted messy ideologies, voluntarily or not.

So long story short: no I don't believe anyone here has a point in regards to what I think is actually important, which is why these choices were made in the first place. If you look at an imperialist text expecting the text to tell you that it's imperialist instead of recognizing a framing used for propaganda by yourself, you're never gonna find any imperialist text ever, obviously not!! I'm sorry if I sound a little gngngn here, but I don't know why audiences have, at large, this feeling that lore and story beat decisions materialize themselves already formed and without any human bias, meddling, intervention, internal politics or approximations (it seems that people can only conceptualize this part if they have actual names to attach to the story, but without clear authors it's like there are no authors and so no bias, which is... a very strange bias in itself). I can promise you that it does not work that way in practice: every narrative department on every big game is a battlefield --some nicer than others, but all of them very emotionally draining either way.

So yeah, I guess that on these grounds, I disagree with every point raised here. Sorry Reddit :/

But thank you for the ask and sorry if I didn't go more into details as to why. The big Why I Dislike Rauru Post and the Gerudo Post might have some more specific rebuttals, but I am not super interested in debating small detail stuff tbh. I feel like it's no use if the frame of reference isn't being understood in the first place.

[salty-software-engineer]

It really sucks that military, tactical, and similar stuff is so cool and frequently very useful because not only do their fandoms suck but they're also inherently tied to systems of oppression.