#yea your dramatic ass can be an after dinner fight

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

Oh you're going to be IRRITATING, aren't ya?

EYUP HE IS.

[zoros-fourth-sword]

Scarlett- Chapter Seven

Summary: Portgas D. Scarlett Ace's older sister, decides to join Trafalgar Law's crew as their navigator after her brother's death. At first, she is distant and consumed with grief over her loss, but as she spends more time with Law and his crew, she begins to find comfort in their shared experiences.

As they journey together through the Grand Line, Law, and Scarlett must face off against dangerous foes and navigate the treacherous waters of the New World. Along the way, they grow closer, and Scarlett begins to see Law in a new light.

But their love is not without its challenges, as Law is still haunted by his past and the events that led him to become a pirate. Scarlett must confront her feelings of guilt and loss over her brother's death if she wants to move forward with Law.

WC: 1.2k

Taglist: @3v37773 @sukunas-play-thing @tinydonkeysforlife @simp4bakuh03

WARNINGS: None

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

Chapter Seven: Two Years Later

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

One thing that I can say about these last two years is that they have been a living hell Traffy Laffy literally worked me like a dog signing papers cooking cleaning training you name it he had me doing it. It even caused us to get into a few fights I wasn’t going to be doing everything while he sat in his office.

“What ya thinking about” Law grumbled from in front of me as. We were both currently abroad on my brother's ship having to share a room due to the fact that there weren’t enough bedrooms for us to have our own space

“Just thinking about how much shit you put me through in the last two years” I huff as I sank into the couch I was sitting on

“Stop whining and get back to work” Law grumbled from his desk slightly giving me a glare not really wanting to deal with me at the moment

“Where not even on the polar tang and you're still making write on these damn papers the rooms going to be filled to the brim by the time we get back to the crew” I mumble as I dramatically slid down the couch and onto the floor

“Well I would maybe think your ass would finally get the hang of our routine,” Law said as he kept his eyes on his papers

“I hate that you're right” I growl as I get up off the floor making sure to adjust my clothes

“I’m always right Scar” Law mumbled as he looked up at me causing my cheeks to slightly flush

“Yea you fucking wish Traffy Laffy” I snap stubbornly crossing my arms over my chest and trying to hide the fact that I was intimidated by his stare

“Mh” Law hummed “Just do the papers and then you free to go,” Law said as he pinched the bridge of his nose

“You're lucky that you're my captain” I huff as I flop on the couch

“I bet,” Law said as he leaned back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest so that his full attention was on me

“Why are you looking at me like that” I ask my captain once I notice the annoyed expression on his face

“Nothin just waiting for you to shut your mouth” Law shrugged causing me to instantly feel pissed

“Why you little shit” I snap as I get up from my seat to walk over to him to slap him for being a jerk

“How about ya stop hitting me for once” Law growled as he grabbed my wrist mid-air causing me to let out a quiet yelp in surprise

“How about you stop being a jerk to me for once” I snap as I try to break free from his grip

“Who else is going to discipline you” Law growled as he pulled me closer by the wrist causing me to slightly stumble forward making me grab Law's knees to catch my balance

“Fuck off” I choke out feeling nervous from our awkward position

“Whatever you're free for tonight but you're doing extra work tomorrow,” Law said as he let me go causing me to immediately move away from him

“Fine by me I’m going to go have Sanji make us some dinner” I mumble as I make my way out of our room trying to avoid eye contact

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

“Scarlett my love what can I get for you” the blonde cook asked me as I entered the Kitchen

“I was going to see if you would make some food for me and Traffy were kinda hungry,” I ask as stand across from him behind the kitchen counter

“Of course Scar anything for you” Sanji said as he spun circles around the kitchen

“Thank you Sanji I’m starving” I giggle

“It’s an honor to make food for my captain's older sister,” Sanji said as he began to cook our meals

“I’m going to go see the girls while you're doing that,” I say giving the man a smile as I take my leave.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

“So he’s giving you a hard time,” Nami said as we sat in a circle with Robin in the middle of her bedroom floor

“Yeah but I can’t complain” I huff “The man is the reason why I’m still breathing” I chuckle mentally thanking my captain for all that he has done for me

“Trust me I understand” Nami laughed “Your brother can be quite the handful”

“Yeah I know but I wouldn’t change him for the world tho ” I giggle

“I Agree he’s quite the person,” Robin said joining our conversation

“SCARLETT COME PLAY TAG WITH ME AND CHOPPER” Luffy said as he came barging into the room nearly breaking the door in the process

“Shit Luffy you scared the fuck out of us” I laugh once I see Robin and Nami laid out on the floor with terrified expressions on their faces

“Heh my bad” Luffy chucked

“You fine and I will after I take Traffy Laffy his dinner,” I say as I get up off the floor making sure not to step on the girls

“HECK YEA” Luffy screamed as he dashed out of the room

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

“Here’s your dinner,” I say as I walk into mine and Law's room

“Just sit it on the desk,” Law said from the bed he was currently spread out on with his shirt slightly lifted up showing off his toned stomach

“Is everything alright?” I ask my captain finding it unusual that he’s taking a break

“Yeah just have a headache” Law mumbled as his tattooed hands covered his face

“Come eat and drink some water” I say placing our plates on his desk

“It might make you feel better,” I say going over to the man grabbing his wrist trying to pull him out of bed

“Okay alright I’m getting up” Law mumbled as he gently pulled his wrist out of my hand

“What have you been up to,” Traffy Laffy asked as he walked over to his desk to grab his plate

“Nothing really been hanging out with the girls,” I say making my way toward him

“Here you need to eat as well,” Law said as he picked up my plate to hand it to me

“Thank you” I mumble taking it from his hand

“Mhm no problem” Law hummed taking a bite out of his food

“I’m sorry about earlier” I mumble remembering my tantrum

“It’s fine I understand and I was kinda a dick,” Law said as he looked down at me

“You were” I giggle deciding to give the man a hard time

“Oh yea” Law chuckled

“Yea” I laughed giving him a glance

“Maybe if you weren’t such a brat all the time I wouldn’t have to be” Law smirked knowing that it was going to irritate me

“Why you little shit” I laughed gently punching his arm

“I can’t help that your face irritates me” I mumbled taking a bite out of my food

“Mhm I’m sure it does” Law hummed with the same smirk plastered on his face

“What the hell does that mean,” I ask dumbfounded

“I don’t know what does it mean” Law chuckled

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

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I really hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for 80 followers I love you all so much 🥺

{A/N: the tension is there y’all like I love Scar and Law and everyone should comment a ship name 🤣

All I got to say is that I need this man above me and under me like asap 😝😍

[imafivestarkpopstan]

Best Brother Series - Cute/Funny Moments

Warnings : I don't think there are any? Tell me if there are.

Comment below to join any of my taglists, BTS, Stray Kids, TXT, Enhyphen, or all/multiple!!

"Oppa, I'm cold." Y/N said, shivering. Jin wrapped the blanket tightly around her and smiled.

"Better?" Y/N nodded. She cuddled into his side as they continued to watch the movie, Encanto.

"Cold/N." Y/N pointed to herself. Then she pointed at Jin. "Oldppa."

"YAH!"

____________________

"YOONGI OPPA I NEED YOUR HELP!" Y/N yelled. Yoongi was at her side in two minutes.

"What does the Princess need?"

"Don't call me that, grandpa." Y/N snarked. "Can you reach that jar for me? I'm on charge of dinner."

"Who left you in charge?" Yoongi sniggered. "Knowing you, you'll probably burn down the kitchen."

"Hey!"

____________________

"Hey Hoba!" Y/N called. "You look good today!"

"Thank you, madam." Hoseok said sarcastically. "But I always look great."

"Do you?"

"Are you doubting me?" Hoseoks mouth was agape. "How dare you?"

"It's easy!"

____________________

"Hey Joonie, what's your IQ?"

"Uh. 148?" Namjoona nswered. "Why? Should I feel offended?"

"Isn't it 14break?" Y/N asked. She subtly winked at Jungkook, who was the one who gave her the idea. Be trie don't to laugh at Namjoons face.

"Who taught you that?" Namjoon asked. "I'll kill him!"

Jungkook shot up and ran out of the room.

"Oh no you don't!" Namjoon was chasing after him.

____________________

"Jiminie Oppa." Six year old Y/N cried. "OPPA is being mean!"

"What did he do to my precious little pumpkin?"

"He hit me." Y/N sniffles, glaring at Kai.

"Fight me." Jimin said, rolling up his sleeves and squaring up. Kai cackled. Jimin sighed.

"Ignore him, Y/N/N. Let's go get ice cream."

____________________

"Tae Oppa, why do people call us aliens?"

"Najfkwkzmvmeeemvmrkkllckwwaaaaaaaa."

"Nfnwkmggmwxkgmmmmeeeee."

"Get it now?"

"Def." Y/N grinned. "But it's nice. Spill tea without others knowing."

"True." Taehyung grinned.

____________________

"Kookie?" Y/N climbed onto his bed. "Wakey. Now."

"Umph." Jungkook fell off the bed, making Y/N giggle. "S'not funny."

"Oops, Oppa fell."

"Yea yea, come here, little gremlin."

"No!"

____________________

Whether it be a weekend or weekday, Chan was stuck to Y/N like glue, until she whined and complained to Jin.

"Jin!" Uh oh. Chan thought. She's gonna get the big boss.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He slid off her and she smiled victoriously.

"Don't forget I have the power of the youngest."

"I know, I know."

"Jin!" Y/N called. Confused as to whether she was asleep or awake, Minho rolled over.

"Y/N?"

"Jin, what did I say?" Y/N continued. "I'm your Noona, I know what's best for you!"

"Wake up, Y/N." Minho called. Y/N rolled over and opened her eyes.

"Huh?"

"You were sleep talking." Minho giggled. "Do you dream of being our older sister?"

Y/N blushed.

"Shut up. It's just a dream, Oppa."

"Or are you just sick of us being older?"

"No!"

____________________

"Kokkiri Oppa!!!" Y/N squealed, jumping onto Changbin's back. He let out a whine of protest.

"I'll kill Chan and Jisung!" He said. "They started it!"

"But your my Kokkiri." Y/N pointed. Changbin softened.

"True." He said. "I'll always be your Kokirri."

____________________

"Ahhhhhj!" Y/N shrieked. Hyunjin stormed into the room, ready to battle a thief. But he, too began screaming.

"JIN HYUNG, CHAN HYUNG, SPIDER!"

"AISH IM COMING!" Could be heard.

"Kill it!" Y/N shrieked.

"No you kill it!!"

"Babies." Jin Mim led, cupping the spider and releasing it. "You two are babies."

____________________

Jiwung always had a knack for annoying the hell outta his youngest sibling.

"Hey, shorty."

"Yah, don't bully her. You're not tall either." Soobin scolded his quadruplet.

"Well, I'm sorry, giant bunny." Jisung sneered. Y/N kicked him and he ran away, screaming.

"Dramatic ass." She mumbled.

____________________

"Hey Felixxx!" Y/N popped her head into the school president office. "I mayyyy or mayyy not have broken Rina's nose..."

"Hahahahahah." Felix chortled. "I never liked her anyway."

"Felix!" Yeonjun exclaimed. "You're the president! Act like it!"

"I'm sorry, but I find it funny!"

____________________

"Seungmin, CNA you help me?"

"With what?"

"Science."

"Hell naur."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Just do it, Seungmin." Namjoon said. Seungmin scowled.

____________________

"Your favourite sister is back!" Y/N hollered. "Hello, losers!"

"Watch who you're calling a loser!"

"Yea, Jeongin, line you aren't one."

"I'm not!" Y/N giggled.

"So you totally didn't fall on front of Heeseung yesterday." Jeongin turned bright red at the mention of his crush.

"I-"

____________________

"Could you not?" Y/N asked irritatedly. James sniggered, pinching her cheek again. "Please stop it."

"Stop it!" Yeonjun called. "She told you to stop."

"Sorry." The boy said jauntily. "Who are you?"

"I'm her brother."

____________________

"Soobs, can you buy that for me, pleaseeeee?"

"What?"

"That plushie!"

"Oh, uh. Right alright. I'll buy it." Soobin absolutely could not resist her eyes, even after Jin telling him to try.

____________________

"Beomie. Beomie." The seven year old tried to get Y/N to say his name.

"Gyu, she can't all yet." His mother giggled.

"Yes she can!" Beomgyh insisted. "Say my name."

"Boh. Boh." Y/N chanted. Beomgyu turned ecstatically to his mother.

"See?"

____________________

"Taehyun."

"Yea?"

"Remember when we went camping and also stargazing?"

"Yeah?"

"I still remember you showing me Eomma and Appa in the sky."

"Really?" Taehyun asked. "You were 9 years old then."

____________________

"Kai! No!" Y/N yelled. "Honestly, sometimes I feel like you're younger than me."

"Hahah!" Kai called gleefully. "I have your phone!"

"Give it back!" Y/N chased him around the garden, up the stairs, and into he room.

[idkcantthinkofaname]

It takes time/2

Pairing: jinxreader (future btsXreader)

Warnings: none I think?

Gene: angst? Soft really. Eventual smut in the future?

Summary: after finally getting the house y/n always wanted, she find a hybrid hiding in an old shed. Unlike most people who find strays, y/n doesn’t turn him into h.c mainly because there was a lot of shady things that happened with the hybrid control in the area.

Prev

——————————————————————————

Jin was sitting on the couch enjoying another episode of friends, while I was in the kitchen preparing a quick dinner for us. It had been almost a whole month since I found him in my shed and moved in. Jin was amazing company, always trying to crack some dad type jokes any chance he got. Never failed to make me laugh until I cry! His legs had healed rather nicely and soon he will be okay to go on his own again. 

As I got our plate made, I went to carry them into the living... I dropped the plates! 

Jin shot up from the couch to see what had happened “oh shit” he said the grizzly bear eyes locked with him then turned towards me and growled as it moved to the door. Did I lock the door?? I moved closer to jin just in case the bear decided to come through the window. 

About the time I made it to Jin’s side, the bear had busted the door opened. I squeaked and went to grab Jin to run but he held on to me and wouldn’t even budge! 

“Jin what are you doing?! We have to run!” I shouted. Jin said nothing but pushed me slightly behind him. “Jin?” I asked. His eyes were focused on the bear as it walking in. “Namjoon?” He breathed. 

I looked between him and the bear “you know this bear?” The bear... or namjoon apparently, growled making me jump. “Namjoon listen, she isn’t a threat! Would you change back so we can talk” Jin said flatly. The bear eyes me for a second then started to change. I stood in shock watching the bear as its bones began to snap and sounded like it was breaking. I covered my ear. This is not a pleasant sound. About half way through I noticed him turning into a human…a naked human. So, I jumped and hide behind Jin, placing my forehead on his back to make sure I saw nothing. I felt Jin stiffen but didn’t look up. 

Missing him peaking over his shoulder then smiled slightly. 

Focusing back on namjoon in full human form Jin clicked his tongue. “You just had to change in the most dramatic fashion” I could head namjoon lowly laugh. “So, this is where you have been?” He growled the last part. “Yes, and before you try to bite my head off let me explain why.” Jin rushed to say. “Oh please. do. jin. I would love to hear why after a month of the pack searching for you, I find you. Here in a humans house looking like a well feed pet.” I could feel how mad he was as he spoke…he didn’t like human at all, I’d take it. “And why does she hide behind you? Don’t human love to look at our bodies?” I could hear the smirk in his voice “um the said human. doesn't. "I pointed out. “She not like the others we have meet, she helped me.” I could hear namjoon take a step closer. “She probably helped you to get you to become her pretty little pet then use you. Just like all the other ones you thought was good jin.” 

I tugged on jin shirt and looked straight up to see him looking over his shoulder. “Um, I think you guys need a minute alone to talk about things, and he clearly doesn’t like my presence here so…” Jin smiled “that would be very helpful.” I smiled and blushed “would you mind walking backwards until I get to the hallway?” Jin laughed and started to walk backwards until we got to the corner. “Okay, have a nice chat!” I darted to my room and shut the door. I could definitely tell namjoon was an intimidating person. My heart was still racing. 

Jin made sure y/n made it into her room before he moved back. Namjoon, watching the whole thing was amused. “See, she didn’t want to see your lanky ass naked” Jin smiled. Namjoon stiffen “now explain why you are here and have not made it back to the pack?” Jin signed and started to explain all that had happened. 

Namjoon was furious that jin had gotten injured. But they all knew the risk of him going into the town. This was bound to happen. “So now we going to have to move to another place, seeing how you can’t just walk in there anymore.” Namjoon rubbing his temple “and she just found you in the shed?” Jin nodded. “Yes, instead of calling on me, she got a med-kit to help me out, and offered me to stay here until I was okay to go back on my way.” Namjoon sighed and glared “I still don’t trust her, Jin. And you need to come home, so we can figure out where to go next.” Jin looked down. He honestly didn’t want to leave, he like y/n. Her scent was comforting and soothing…... 

Jin eyes shot up to meet Joon. “You know, you calmed down pretty quickly, when you came inside.” Namjoon stiffen. “So? I was just happy to have found you alive.” Jin shook his head. “No last time you found me with a human you had me by the throat and almost ate the human” 

“That human was going to sell you on the black market, Jin. They had the mark on their arm that you so failed to noticed.” Namjoon crosses his arms. Jin smirked. “But You didn’t even get a good look at y/n. So? Why didn’t you come in ready to fight like before?” 

Namjoon arms fell to his side. Why hadn’t he done it? The moment he had seen Jin from the woods, threw the window he was furious and seeing red. The closer he got; he notices her in the kitchen. He was so ready to bust threw the window and attack her. But when he got closer, the scent of vanilla and teakwood drifted from the house. It was enticing and calming. He shook his head before getting closer. When he had entered the house, he was surrounded by the scent. Even with him being so angry, the scent…. he wanted to Bury his nose in it…that was until he realized it was her. 

She was where the delicious scent was coming from. He was even more angry that a human would do this to him. “Her scent calms you, doesn’t it? Just like it did me? Similar to the packs?” Namjoon shock his head. “We cannot trust her!” Namjoon yelled “you don’t know her? You think she would just help you without wanting something? Now let’s go home jin.” Jin sighed “okay, let me tell her I’m leaving.” 

A soft knock from the door woke me from my thoughts. I could hear namjoon yelling about them needing to leave and how he doesn’t trust me. I get it, he doesn’t know me, and most people do treat them like shit. So, I understood why he was the way he was. People are shit. 

Jin slowly opened the door. “Y/N?” I smiled and got off my bed. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” He scratched the back of his head “yea.” I smiled and went to hug him “I’m Glad you get to go back to your family. It was nice to meet you jin.” Jin wrapped his arms around me and pressed his face into my neck. He stayed there for a few second then rubbed his nose across my neck. 

My heart started to race; I know it’s a natural thing for them to do. But with his plush lips so close to my skin, I felt like I was on fire. Jin standing back up. “Thank you, Y/n, for what you have done. Maybe one day we will see each other again” he smiled softly and I looked down trying to hide the blush on my cheeks “hopefully.” He turned to head out. 

I followed him out, as I rounded the corner, I locked eyes for the first time with namjoon who was by the back door. Neither of us moved until I realized he was still naked “oh my!” I turned around “I’m sorry, uh…. I was just going to lock up after you left...” I was blushing hard core. The man was fit. Jin snickered “can you like turn back into the bear before you give her a heart attack” I could hear namjoon scruff, pretty sure he rolled his eyes. “Whatever let's go” I heard the door shut before I turned around. As I watch namjoon, who was a bear again, and Jin disappear into the forest. I waved good bye one last time to jin. 

It wasn’t even an hour with me on the couch that I started to feel lonely. I sighed. I guess I should clean up the dinner mess. As I got up and noticed the mess was already cleaned up… did jin do this? While he was talking to namjoon? 

Next

[youmakemyhearthowl]

So here’s the thing

(can I get your opinions on this.. would you read this? should I keep going? It would be a slow burn Sterek fic!) read here —>> https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/33344914/chapters/82811104

If you had told Stiles a year ago that he was going to be running around in the woods looking for a dead body, he probably would have shrugged and said “Yea that sounds about right.” And honestly you should have probably just told him not to do stuff like that, because if you had he wouldn't be laying in a pile of leaves next to half a girl's body clutching his side where some animal just tried to make him dinner. But alas, the only person who ever really could get Stiles to listen to advice anyways was his mother and she was long gone now. 

Sighing Stiles rolled over onto his side, using his free hand not currently trying to hold his organs in to push himself up onto his feet. Hesitating he strained his ears to listen to the silent woods around him, but the only noise he heard was a loud howl somewhere off in the distance that didn’t really make any sense because wolves hadn’t been in California in years, so its probably just  dog. (Stiles knew for a fact it was not dog, but let him live in blissful ignorance until he can’t anymore)

“This is what I get, really, honestly it’s not a surprise. Its Karma, for dragging Scott out here to look for a dead body then leaving him to lie to my dad.” Stiles groaned, his feet sluggish moving through the leaves around him, blood dripping slightly from between his fingers. 

“Who’s out there?” A sharp voice suddenly called, causing Stiles to hit the deck so fast, he’s pretty sure he ripped his bleeding wound open more. “This is private property.” The voice called again.

“Ah sorry Derek it’s just us.” Stiles heard his fathers voice then, and he instinctively pressed himself closer to the ground, hissing quietly at the pain it erupted. 

“Sherriff.” Came the voice, Derek, Stiles brain supplied. 

“We haven’t been able to find anything yet, but you really don’t need to be out here with us looking, we’ll make sure we find your sister.” Stiles could hear leaves shuffling and he held his breath, cringing at the realization that of course the body was a real person with a family that was mourning her, how could he be so insensitive. 

“Thank you for all you are doing Sheriff.” Stiles heard more leaves shuffling around and counted to 30 before gingerly pushing up off the wet ground to look around. He noted his fathers deputies and him were headed back towards the east, away from him and he let out an audible sigh.

“What part of private property don’t you understand.” A voice grumbled in his ear suddenly, causing Stiles to shriek and loose balance on his hand, face planting back into the wet earth.

“Jesus Christ, you can’t just do that to someone.” He snapped rolling onto his back and forcing himself to stand back up, tightly pressing his arm to his torso and gesturing wildly with the other to draw attention away from the blood he knew was soaking his blue shirt. 

“It’s my property so I’m pretty sure I can.” The man shot back, and Stiles recognized it as the same voice that was speaking with his father only moments ago. The soft glow of the moon illuminating his white teeth.

“Holy shit, you’re Derek Hale.” He breathed, ignoring the way his hairs were standing on end as if to indicate “run, predator, leave now” 

“What are you doing out here?” Derek growled, his eyes looking Stiles up an down making the younger boy squirm.

“Uhh. Helping my dad?” He offered, slowly lowering the arm around his waist trying not to draw attention that anything was wrong.

“Are you hurt?” Jesus this dude really knows how to hold a conversation  Stiles thought sarcastically, holding back an eye roll.

“Hmm? Oh yea, tripped and skinned my knee no biggie, but I probably should be heading home now, ya know, cause my dad… the Sheriff might wonder where I am If he beats me home.” Shifting from foot to foot Stiles pulled his hoodie closer around his body, hoping the guy in front of him couldn't hear the pain in his voice. Derek simply grunted nodding his head, before turning around and making his way towards where Stiles knew the Hale house remains were.

“Fucking Christ,”  The teenager groaned lifting up his shirt to take a look at the wound in his side, his blood trickling down his stomach. “I really gotta get to the jeep.” Groaning Stiles pulled his sweatshirt off and tied the arms around his waste to help put pressure on the wound willing his feet to pull him in the direction of his vehicle. 

“This is it, I’m just gonna die out here and then I’ll be the body my dads looking for” He muttered to himself trying to find a decent foothold to climb up the last remaining hill to his Jeep.

“How’d my son die? Oh sorry sir he was a dumb ass who listened to your police scanner and tried to find a dead body and then got his guts wrapped out by a wolf, even though wolves aren’t in California anymore, ya know typical stiles shenanigans.” Stiles was mumbling to himself when suddenly his foot slipped and he tumbled backwards landing with a groan, a sharp pain shooting through his foot. “Can’t a guy catch a break?” He cried willing himself to sit up, pushing through the agonizing burning around his stomach to look at his ankle. “Please dear god don’t be broken.” He sighed crawling until he was close enough to a tree to assist him in standing up, slowly he eased him self up and put his foot down only to hiss once he put pressure on it. 

“You deserve this you know.” He grumbled to himself, hobbling over to the least steep part of the hill he could find. “It really is karmic retribution.”

“Stiles? Stiles is that you?” Stiles head shot up wiping around to the side of him until his eyes landed on the form that spoke.

“Scott?”

“Oh thank god, holy shit, I doubled back after sneaking away from your dad, and something like attacked me and I thought something had happened to y… holy shit Stiles you’re bleeding.” Scott ran over pulling Stiles arm around his neck and leading him around the hill he’d been trying to climb.

“Of course there's a fucking spot that's not even a hill” He grumbled under his breath, hissing every time he needed to use his leg to limp forward.

“Stiles why didn’t you call me? You look like you’ve been bleeding a lot.” 

“You’re shirt also states you’ve been bleeding.” Stiles noted out loud nodding his head towards Scotts bloody t shirt.

“Yea some kind of dog bite me.”

“Hey me too.” Stiles chuckled leaning his forehead against the cool door of his jeep when they finally made it.

“Looks like it got you a little worse then me huh?” Scott breathed, reaching into the backseat and pulling out stiles first aid kit. Stiles was never more glad then this very moment that Melissa insisted that he keep one with him at all times as soon as he got the vehicle.

“Scott I think I'm gonna throw up.” He groaned sliding down the side of the jeep until he was sitting on the ground

“Lay down man, lemme take a look at it.”

“I’m not a dog Scotty, how are you even going to be able to do anything.”

“Just cause I’m a vet’s assistant doesn't mean my mom hasn't taught me basic first aid.” Scott rolled his eyes at his best friend helping him lean back till he was laying flat on the ground.

“Shouldn't you be taking care of your injury, McCall.” He groaned, closing his eyes.

“Already did.. Jesus Stiles.” Scotts voice came out breathy as he lifted up the other boys shirt taking in the sight before him. “Did it knaw on you?” He whispered shuffling through the contents of the kit in front of him till he found the Alcohol.

“Sure feels like it.” Stiles laugh came out wet and airy. “Hey if I die out here, talk me up at my funeral, need Lydia to know how bad ass I was fighting off a real Wolf.” 

“Stiles don’t be so dramatic you’re not going to die.”

“They say that in movies all the time and you know what happens next? The guys dies.” 

“This isn’t a movie.”

“Should be, I'm hysterical, I’d be a great subject for a movie.” Scott huffed out a laugh moving from stiles now wrapped abdomen to his ankle.

“I think this is just a sprain, so that's good. We should probably go to the hospital though.”

“I’m sorry did you forget who our parents are? Tomorrows the first day of Junior year I am not starting out grounded.”

“Stiles you’re stomach looks really bad man.” Scott whispered helping Stiles stand back up.

“Pshh I’ll be fine, lets just go home, I already texted your mom saying you staying with me tonight.” Stiles laughed covering a grimace as he climbed behind the wheel.

“Stiles, you shouldn’t be driving.”

“Potato tomato”

“What?”

“Just get in lets go home.”

[akinnie75]

White Hibernation

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Word Count: 31k...lol

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Extreme Slow Burn, Fantasy

Summary: The tale of the Winter Bear is about a grizzly bear that’s the only bear in the entire world who doesn’t hibernate during winter. He’s considered strong for being able to fight sleep. However, being the only bear awake during winter gets lonely. So during every winter, he makes friends with children and takes their soul to be with him forever. And somewhere down the line, you get involved into the fable.

“Are you fucking kidding me, (Y/N)?!”

Your agent, Lee Suniya, screams from the top of her lungs on the other side of the call. You keep your phone at a safe distance from your ears. You sigh exasperatedly, standing in the center of the living of your cramped, one-bedroom apartment.

Despite Suniya’s aggressive scolding, you only focus on your apartment. It’s early in the morning, never realizing how blue your apartment is. It isn’t necessarily a bold blue, more so a faint blue, naturally peeking through your blinds due to the sunrise barely at its peak. All of your furniture—couch, coffee table, vase, lamp—is white, so it only makes the baby blue stand out more.

Maybe I should change my place up a little, you think to yourself.

However, your plans for redecorating your place are disrupted by the continuous rampage coming from Suniya. Her anger only worsens your annoyance toward her. “Did you not hear a single thing I said?! Is your head empty??”

“No, can you repeat everything?”

Suniya groans frustratedly then goes silent for a few seconds before returning. “Never mind. Did you at least look online?”

Your eyes move down to your laptop that’s sitting by the edge of the white, pristine coffee table. It’s on, and it’s an article called: ‘Winter Bear’: Profiting off of a Child’s Innocence. Underneath the title is the author, (Y/N), (L/N).

“Yea, just a few minutes ago.”

“So. You knew not to write that. But why did you go ahead and do it anyway?” Suniya tries very hard not to grind her teeth, but you can clearly hear it.

You take a seat on the couch right across from your laptop. You set your phone down, putting it on speaker as you scroll through the multitudes of angry comments. There are some that catch your eye, such as ‘How could you write garbage about my daughter’s favorite movie?’, ‘You didn’t even watch the movie so your opinion is fucking pointless without proper research’, and another one being, ‘Go die in a shithole, you fucking mood-killer’.

You’ve always heard about internet figures getting a lot of online flak these days, but your article exploded out of nowhere that you haven’t gotten the time to process the negative comments. Even your email is spammed with anonymous accounts calling you degrading terms.

But another reason why it doesn’t impact you as much as it should is because it was somewhat expected. Winter Bear is a beloved, rated-PG movie that people of all ages should enjoy, but your article made it very apparent that you detest it.

“Yea, I knew not to write it, but what’s the point of me making it my career as a writer when I can’t even share my own opinions?”

“You—” But before your agent can lash out any further, she catches herself. “You’re not a writer, you’re a journalist. Writers create from inspiration, journalists rephrase what they see. Are you seriously trying to give the publication a bad rep?”

“You’re not getting the point of the article. No one is. It’s a cash-grabbing movie using a dangerous folklore—”

“I get it, I get it. But where I’m coming from is that the publishing company has no time to be dealing with a bad image at this moment. They were just getting recognized, and you just had to blow it off like that.”

“That wasn’t my intention. Look, why are people even getting pissed off over one person’s opinion? They don’t have to read my shit if they don’t want to and go enjoy their half-assed children’s movie.”

It’s at this point where Suniya has completely given up on arguing with you. Both you and Suniya are stubborn to the core, and this is how you two clash often.

“It isn’t just about a bad public image for the company, but for you. You’ll have a hard time signing deals and publishing more articles.”

That comment was like a prick to your skin. There was something about that that ticked you off, more than what the internet is saying about you.

“What the hell is wrong with me sharing my thoughts? If these faceless assholes are allowed to leave comments on my article, then I can say and do whatever too!”

“(Y/N), calm down! Why are you getting upset?! Listen to me when I say this: I know where you’re coming from. I know that movie is a sensitive topic for you, but that still doesn’t mean that you should—”

“Don’t bring it up.”

The line goes silent for a while before she returns. “Alright, fine. On the bright side, this seems like a short-term consequence, so the most we can do is wait for this to die down. I gotta go, I’ll call you later.”

She hangs up, and you get the urge to throw your phone across the room. However, you don’t have the kind of money to break your phone and get a new one, so instead, you throw it against the couch pillow. It’s irritating when nobody understands you. If the general public weren’t sheeples, then it would be easier for you to explain your side. Not even Suniya truly knows where you’re coming from.

You go back to your laptop, your article receiving new comments by the second. You want to respond to them and tell them to go to hell. There are more controversial topics out there in the world, so why go to your article and attack you? You’ve already caused enough trouble for your agent, so it’s better to leave it alone.

You lay down on your couch when a sudden chill runs up your spine. You check the temperature on your phone, and it’s been getting colder lately with winter getting closer.  What sort of first-world struggles are those angry commentators going through to give them the right to downgrade you?

Regret begins to play with your head, suggesting that you should call Suniya back and apologize to her for exploding. You turn on your phone, seeing four contacts on your phone: your parents, Suniya, and your publication site’s office number. You press on Suniya’s number, letting the line ring before directing to voicemail.

With a sigh of disappointment, you get off of the couch with that feeling of regret going to eat you up for the rest of the day. You try to forget about it, pushing your mind to think about something else than to focus heavily on it. You repeat to yourself over and over that you need to eat breakfast.

You look through the fridge that’s filled with only microwavable food, some vegetables, soda, and that one vegan mandarin chicken pack that you promised to eat when you were still dieting. On the bottom shelf is leftover pizza from last night. You close the fridge then rummage through the white-painted cabinets. You hand maneuvers around the canned corn and beans, packaged dry pad-thai noodles, and shoving the Maruchan cup noodles away. You grab the rainbow, fruit-flavored cereal box, opening the top to check if there’s still some. You pop one into your mouth to check if it’s still in edible condition. Although a bit stale, you can eat it.

You couldn’t decide whether or not you wanted to eat leftover dinner or cereal for breakfast, so you ended up picking both. Rushing back to the fridge, you take out a slice of cold pizza and the half-gallon of milk, putting the pizza on a plate and into the microwave. It’s not the healthiest meal, but you’re not in the mood to be thinking about your weight.

As it warms up, you grab the remote from the living room, turning on the TV. You skip through channels with the press of a button until you get to a decent enough channel that’s playing a rerun of a sitcom show. It’s about a group of poor college graduates struggling to live in New York.

Your attention is taken away by your microwave beeping when it’s done reheating your pizza. You poke the pizza to make sure that the cheese has melted, then you take a bite of it. It doesn’t taste as fresh as when you first got it, but it still tastes savory.

“This...is...awesome!” A child’s voice shouts from the TV.

Dramatic drums and high-pitched violins play after the show goes on a commercial break. You turn around to see a trailer of a kids’ movie.

“Who...are you?” the child continues.

Each scene of the trailers lasts for a few seconds to keep the viewers’ short attention span engaged. On the screen is a young child who seems to be around eight or nine years old in a snowy forest. The child is on its knees, face-to-face with a shadowy monster before displaying itself as a fun, lovable grizzly bear licking the child’s face.

“I have to return home. Can you help me?”

“Come with us...on an epic journey,” A narrator voices over. “Filled with fun...”

The child and bear jump over rocks as they laugh.

“Adventure…”

The pair find an entirely undiscovered part of the forest, though it’s just a more expanded version of the same setting that it takes place in, just brighter lighting and more sunlight.

“And friendship.”

The next scene is when the child and the bear are cuddling together late at night to keep each other warm from the freezing temperature.

“Bears are supposed to be sleeping during winter, but you’re not,” the child ponders. “But...I’m glad that you’re awake. I don’t feel so lonely anymore.”

“Critics say ‘it’s tender’...‘entertaining’...‘everything my child has always wanted in a movie’.” The narrator continues as five yellow stars would be slapped onto a frame of an overview of the forest. “Winter Bear. Coming soon on December 20th.”

The next thing you know, you throw the pizza at the screen out of impulsive anger. The tomato sauce splatters all over the carpet, TV, and some on the coffee table. It instantly slips off the TV, landing and staining the carpet more. It felt good at that moment to lash out on the movie trailer, but not anymore after seeing the mess that you created. But once rational thinking sets in, you’re frustrated with yourself for what you’ve done. You hurriedly look for wipes then run to the TV to clean it.

As you wipe with tenacity, some uninvited memories seep in. You go back to when you were a child, holding the hand of a child whose face you can’t see, or at least, don’t want to see. The environment that surrounds you is a white forest, silence freezing every noise possible, just you and the person standing side-by-side.

You rest your forehead on the sauce-stained TV, sighing heavily as you try to forget what happened long ago. You turn to the fallen pizza, glaring at it with disdain as the red, bloody sauce soaks into what was once a white carpet that blended into the blue morning.

“He doesn’t help kids...he steals them.”

———

“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), you really need to start eating healthier food. Look at your stomach, I’m beginning to see a muffin top.” Suniya jokes as she playfully hits your stomach with a pepperoni sausage.

Suniya is walking ahead of you as you push the shopping cart. She decided to tag along with you to go grocery shopping, implying that this get-together is to make up for the argument that unfolded days prior to this.

“I would eat better if the healthier options were cheaper and tasted better.”

“Hey, there are healthy foods that are cheap too, you know. You just choose not to eat it. Plus, you’re not a kid anymore. Suck it up and eat gross shit for the sake of being in shape,” This is ironic coming from Suniya, since she isn’t in the best shape either. “Maybe you should get a gym membership and start working out. Who knows, maybe you’ll start attracting people.”

“Mm-hmm,” You faintly listen to her as you’re trying to decide on which graham cracker brand you want to buy. “Oh yea, which pizza brand do you think has the least amount of tomato sauce?”

Suniya sulks, a little annoyed that you aren’t listening to her, but this is typical for you to be like that with her. “I dunno. Figure it out yourself. Why?”

“Eh,” you shrug your shoulders. “The sauce is the messiest part of the pizza. Do you think I should start eating hot pockets?”

She raises an eyebrow at you. “I don’t fucking know. Pick both if it makes it easier.”

“No, but pizza is messy. I wanna know if hot pockets are not as messy with the sauce.”

“Why does it matter? Just use a napkin or don’t eat like a toddler!”

“...I’ll go with hot pockets.”

You push the cart ahead of Suniya as she stares at you with a look of disbelief. No matter how long you two have known each other, she will never understand how your brain is wired. She shakes her head, shrugging it off as one of your unusual habits again.

“By the way, your mother called me. She said you weren’t picking up the phone and she wanted to know if you’re doing alright.”

“I’m fine.”

“...Why don’t you just call her back and tell her that?”

“I have you to pass on my message.”

“You know…” her tone deepens. “Your mom wants to talk to you directly. She wants to know how you’re doing in your voice.”

“What difference will it make? She’ll just pretend that she’s worried about me but all she’s gonna do is yell at how I can’t take care of myself and I need a new job.”

She sighs. “But she’s still your mom. You can’t forget that she raised you.”

“I’ll call her later. I have some more articles to write and I don’t need the distraction.”

But she knew that you meant never, you just wanted to end the conversation. She looks through the aisles, clearly frustrated with your lack of keeping a conversation going.

“You know, you shouldn’t worry about work so much.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s all you ever think about. Don’t you have anything else that you’re passionate about? Like, I dunno, making friends, going out, finding a boyfriend?”

“Not really. I haven’t put much thought into any of those. They’re a waste of time and money.”

“(Y/N),” she puts her hand to her hips. “Your isolation is only going to drive you even more insane. You won’t have anyone to rely on, and you’re just going to be miserable.”

A vein protrudes from your forehead, but your expression remains stagnant. “But I have you, don’t I?”

She rolls her eyes. “You can’t just rely on me. I have a family to take care of. And you should also.”

Even though you behave as if you’re ignoring her, her words bleed into your brain. You know too well that you’re getting closer to the age of settling into a life of family-hood, but it isn’t Suniya who decides what you have to do with your life. Still, what she says makes your chest ache, the desire to deny her claims of your spiral to insanity, all the while being completely aware of her concerns.

Suniya’s phone rings, so she takes it out from her purse to see an unknown number on her screen. She accepts the call, putting it to her ear.

“Hello?”

A feminine voice can be heard from the other line. Other than a ‘hi’, you can’t make what she’s saying, and Suniya’s lack of expression doesn’t help either.

“Uhm...yes. She is with me.”

An eyebrow raises, your curiosity peaking. You stare at her, squinting your eyes. She does look at you, but she doesn’t say anything to fill in the blanks.

“Sure.”

She hands the phone to you. You’re confused, looking at the phone and wondering what to do with it. She nudges it to you, so you take it.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Is this (Y/N)?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“Hi, my name is Kim, and I’m calling because I read your article the other day.”

Assuming that this is an angry reader, you’re about to hang up the phone when Suniya raises her hands up, signaling for you not to. You silently sigh, putting the phone back to your ear.

“You did?”

“I did! And I absolutely loved it!”

“Oh, really?” But it takes a few seconds for you to let that sink in. “Wait, really??”

“Yes! I reread it hundreds of times, and everything you said accurately portrays exactly how I feel about the movie as well.”

You glance at Suniya, and she smiles, nodding to let you know that this isn’t a prank. You’re at a loss of words that there’s someone who genuinely enjoyed your article. No one’s ever reached out to give you compliments, so you don’t know what to say.

“Uhm, thank you.”

“It’s no big deal. I saw the feedback you received, and it seems like not a lot of people liked it. You see, I’m a mythologist. I study extensively on the Winter Bear folklore. Based on the information on your publication’s website, it doesn’t seem like you know anything about it, but you nailed every detail of the myth precisely.”

“...Yea.”

“What I wanted to talk about is that I would like you to help me with my research on the Winter Bear.”

You crease your eyebrows. “...Excuse me?”

“You see, even though I study myth, I have a strong feeling that this isn’t some mere local folklore. You seem to know a lot about it, and I would like to get to know you more. Perhaps even go to the town to investigate more about it.”

“No.” You’re about to hang up again.

“Wait, wait, wait!”

You give her a third chance, putting the phone back to your ear.

“I can compensate for your help in return! We can help each other. I’m trying to write a book and get it published before the Winter Bear movie comes out. I want to expose the real story behind, not the watered-down, kiddy version of it.”

She piques your interest. “Go on.”

“In return, I’ll help back up your article, I’ll even reference and credit you for aiding me in the research. As long as we’re able to complete the book before the release of the movie, then it’s going to be a hit. Imagine all the clicks you’re going to get in your article after my book is published. You’ll definitely make more than you can ever imagine with any ordinary article.”

“I’ve already received enough criticism as it is with just the trailer. How is a full-length movie and your book going to benefit me?”

“It’s going to be a bit...greedy of me to say, but you aren’t paid by the number of nice comments you get. You get it by how many people click on your online articles. If you ignore the negative comments, didn’t you notice that your pay got relatively higher than normal?”

As much as you don’t want to admit it, it’s true. “Yes.”

“That’s what I’m saying! That’s why we gotta get this finished before the movie. What do you say?”

You fall silent, and it makes Kim think that you actually hung up this time. Talking about the town where the tale of the Winter Bear brings up the memories again. You remember looking down at your small hands, pressing it on the snow as you knelt down. The stiffness in your hands from the cold perfectly describes how you’re feeling right now. It’s strange, when you look back to the time when you were there during winter, it was dead silent.

Your numb hands, stuck in the unforgiving snow, not a sound to comfort you in this recycling memory. It’s strange, it’s only your hands that are cold, not your knees, not your face, nothing. Are you ready to go to that place that you tried so hard to forget? Can you unveil those childhood memories?

You recall that toddler. It was only a split second, but every detail of her is vivid. That baby blue-striped dress, wearing a pink parka over it. Her tiny brown boots treading through the snow, being matted by the pure white. She turns around, and she resembles you a lot.. Her nose red and runny, yet the brimming smile on her face is the only sunlight of that gray memory. The silence is filled with her childish laughter that’s devoid of flaws, as she had yet to be tainted by the world.

“Annie.” Your past-self calls her.

“I’ll do it.”

“That’s great! Then I’ll send you an email and we can set up a day to go to the town. I look forward to working with you in the near future.”

“Yea.”

She hangs up.

“So, what did she say?”

“She wants to work with me.”

“Really?? That’s great! So, how is it going to work out?”

You aren’t entirely sure. You agreed to it on a whim without putting much thought on the consequences. Now you’re a little regretful for saying yes, especially since you don’t want anything to do with it, but since you dedicated an entire article on it, it must mean that a part of you wants to return. You don’t know how your brain works sometimes, like you go into autopilot and another force makes the decisions for you.

“We’re going to the town where that movie took inspiration from, Little Bare.”

———

At the bustling train station, Suniya helps push you through the tight crowd. You keep looking down at your phone, squinting at a picture that Kim took of herself. You’ve never met her in person and most of your conversations with her took place through phone calls and text messages. This will be the first time you’ll see her in person.

“Why the hell is the station so busy on a Tuesday?!” Suniya whines.

Standing right under the ‘Station E’ sign is Kim. She’s a lot shorter than you thought, standing at approximately 4’10”. Her black-framed glasses and messy bun along with her back slouching really gives the impression that she spends a lot of time sitting down, probably reading or researching, and you’re not far from your assumption. She’s focused on writing in her notebook, not paying attention to her surroundings whatsoever, not even caring when a salaryman bumped into her.

“Excuse me, are you Kim?”

She looks up and immediately closes her book. “Hello! You’re (Y/N), right?”

You nod.

She extends her hand out for a handshake, and you take it, taking notice of how sweaty they are. “It’s nice to finally meet you! Is that your agent?”

“Hello, I’m Suniya. We spoke on the phone before.”

“Right, I remember. It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Suniya nods. “Yes. The train should be arriving soon, so do you mind if I talk to you for a bit, Miss Kim?”

“Sure.”

She pulls Kim aside, far enough from you. You know that she’s going to be talking about you, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.

“What is it that you need to talk to me about privately?”

“It’s about (Y/N).”

“Hm? What about her?”

Suniya looks at you, seeing as you’re looking down at your phone. “You see…since I’m not coming on this trip with you guys, can I request you to take care of her?”

Kim is a little taken aback, as you seemed like a fully grown adult who is capable of taking care of yourself. “Sure…”

“You see...she’s a bit...disconnected.”

She wrinkles her eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s hard to explain, but I think she has selective memory loss. She experienced some trauma that still affects her today—so much that she tends to block anything that stresses her out too much because that’s how she’s always dealt with her problems. So if she’s spacing out, then that’s why.”

From the distance, you blend well with the crowd, no different than a modern citizen focused on her phone. You don’t look lost—you look so sure of yourself like nothing disturbs you. Your outward appearance doesn’t make you sound like the description that Suniya gave.

“Selective as in, she can willingly forget things?”

She nods. “I don’t know what happened, but whatever she went through as a child, it must’ve been that bad that she doesn’t have any recollection of it. I don’t mean to scare you, but if she behaves abnormally, don’t be afraid to call me.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take good care of her. If I feel comfortable working with her, then I would’ve long since canceled our plans.” She smiles.

Still, Suniya is unsure. It feels wrong, talking about you in this way.

———

On the train, you and Kim are sitting across from each other. The slight bumps create a rhythmic sound as the train speeds to your destination, and there is a lack of conversation from other passengers with the only voice being the overhead of an automated woman alerting the passengers of their next stops. You sit by the window, watching the bushes pass by faster than the mountains from a distance. Kim is on her laptop, typing at the speed of light.

“I might be prying a bit too much, but there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask.”

“Hm?”

“Have you been to Little Bare before?”

You don’t respond—you don’t even look at her.

“Sorry, I stepped over the line. I was just curious because you seem to have more information than your typical person—”

“Yea, I went there once.”

She wasn’t expecting you to answer, so she stutters with her next line of words.

“My family and I went on a road trip during winter break. We got stuck in a blizzard and stayed at the inn there until it died down.”

“Oh, that’s very interesting!” She puts it down in her notebook. “Do you remember what you did there?”

“...Not really.” You lie.

“Oh…” She clears her throat to get rid of the uncomfortable atmosphere she created. “Well...it’s a good thing we’re going back. It’ll help you regain those memories again.”

“How did you know that I went there before?”

“I just assumed because you seem to know a little more about that folklore, not the watered-down version of it.”

“Yea.”

After that, neither of you say anything. This must be what Suniya was saying when she said that you don’t look like you’re paying attention, or you’re distracted by something else. She keeps herself busy by going back to her notebook.

———

At Little Bare, you and Kim exit the train. The wind blows against your hair, giving you the chills. You put your hands in your pocket while you stare at the town that haunts you. Every building is made out of wood, and the newer ones are built from bricks. The town is so small that you can see where it ends from the other side.

“It’s so cold! It’s supposed to have its first snow tonight, so it makes sense. But holy crap...I already can’t stand it.”

The train leaves, leaving you and Kim in a town nearly desolated. It lacks human contact, not a single person in sight. And there it is again—the dead silence. It was there before, and it hasn’t left. You wouldn’t describe it as nostalgia, but a boogeyman welcoming you back to your nightmare.

“Where do we even go?”

“I think down here.”

You walk down the staircase, hearing dead leaves being crushed beneath your feet. You enter through the main entrance of the town with a tall sign towering over you and Kim that reads: ‘Welcome to Little Bare’. You inspect the town, and the buildings made out of wood have turned dark brown after soaking in morning fog and rain. Resting your hand on the walls seems like it’s enough to give you splinters. It isn’t only the buildings that show after-signs of rain, but the streets as well. There are wet patches in the street, giving off the strong scent of wet black tar.

“Is...this the right place? It looks like a ghost town.”

You shake your head. “It’s exactly the same as I remembered.”

The general store is still there the last time you were here, one of the first buildings you’ll see when you enter this place. Directly across the street is the bar, just as empty as it was in the past during the day. The only difference is that everything has aged dramatically, those twenty years taking a  toll on the town.

“Where is everybody?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“There’s no reception here because of the high elevation, so I can’t pull up a map. There’s no physical map of this place either.”

You and Kim creep into the town more, with her peeking through the large glass windows of the general store. Her eyes light up when she sees someone standing by the front cash register. An elderly man, sitting on a chair with his back slouched, reading a newspaper.

“Oh, there’s somebody there,” you point at the man. “Let’s ask them for directions.”

You both move closer to the store, and once you’re close enough, the old man notices you two. When making eye contact with you two, Kim waves her hand as a means of greeting him. Rather than returning the greeting, the elderly man grabs a broomstick and walks out of the store, raising the broom over his head and jogging right toward you two.

“Get the hell outta here before I beat your asses myself!”

You and Kim step back, raising your hands to defend yourselves. She grabs onto your arm, and you cling onto her sleeve.

“Wait, wait, wait!” She shouts. “We’re just tourists!”

“I said get outta here! We don’t need no city people here to take what’s ours!”

“We’re not here to take anything!!”

“I said get out!!”

“What’s going on?!” An overweight woman runs out of the room. “Honey! What the fucking shit are you doing?!”

The man stops and turns around, seeing his wife marching after him. She slaps him on the back multiple times, so much that he drops the broom and waves his hands as a means of protection. After hitting him until he’s tame, the woman turns to you and Kim.

“I’m so sorry for my husband. We just had some unwanted guests come by a few days ago givin’ us some papers to sign thinkin’ we can’t read shit, so we’re all on guard,” she puts her hands to her hips. “The name’s Margaret, and this brainless man is Gerald. So, what brings two beautiful, young women here?”

You two look at each other, then back at the woman.

“Uhm..My name’s Kim. We’re here to research the myth of the Winter Bear.”

Upon bringing up the name, Margaret’s smile disappears. “Oh god...you really are just like them. So then, you girls better give me one good reason to welcome you guys in. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to kick your asses outta here.”

And just like that, someone who you two thought was civilized quickly turns sour. Knowing the amount of pain that she can enforce, you and Kim are faced with a ticking time bomb. Kim desperately flips through her notebooks, seeing if she can show any of her records to impress her.

“Uhm...wait, please, Mrs. Margaret! We don’t know who you’re talking about, but w-we have no intention of hurting anyone. I-if you look at my notes, you can tell that I’m genuinely interested in writing about this myth! Y-you see, I’m an author, and Miss (Y/N) is a journalist. We’re working together!”

But this doesn’t convince Margaret at all. She glares at you two, picking up the broom Gerald dropped. Kim freaks out more, seeing if she can find anything to offer.

“We have money! We can pay for anything!!”

That doesn’t work either. For a writer, she does a poor job of persuading. You try to think of anything to support Kim. You look around, biting your nail as sweat begins to form. You hate this—being put on the spot to problem-solve. It makes you dizzy, making you want to escape as soon as possible.

You squeeze your eyes shut, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind. “I’ve been here before!”

Margaret stares at you, raising an eyebrow. You got her attention, so you take this chance to breathe.

“I came here during winter...when I was a child.”

The fury burning underneath Margaret’s eyes turns into sympathy. She lowers the broomstick, tears forming in her eyes as if she reunited with a long lost relative. To your surprise, she wraps her arms around you, catching both you and Kim off guard.

“You poor girl.”

Kim is absolutely confused. She looks at you in hopes of getting an explanation, but your expression is blank. You’re overwhelmed with multiple emotions, coming all together at once unsure of how to express them at once. It’s like when all colors come together to make white. The only thing you can do is hug her back.

———

On the second floor of the general store, you and Kim are sitting in their almost run-down kitchen. The flowery wallpapers are peeling, brown and yellow stains running down until it hits the dusty floorboards, and age-old grease stains and black food chunks occupying the stove. There’s also a gigantic hole in the ceiling.

Margaret sets down a tray of hot chamomile tea on the table. “Sorry for our shitty first impression. Things have just been so heated lately that we’re stressed out of our minds.”

You and Kim take a cup, blowing it before drinking, but Kim drinks it without issue. You want to rest your arms on the table, but it’s so sticky that it makes you quiver just thinking about the last time it was ever cleaned.

“It’s okay! From the looks of it, you guys went through a lot,” Kim replies in an optimistic tone. “What happened?”

Margaret grabs a nearby chair and sits down, placing her elbow on the table without hesitation and running her hand through her gray, curly hair. “We got these big companies, Dismaland or whatever the fuck their name is, demanding that we turn our town into a tourist attraction for a  movie they’re making. You know, those family-friendly kinds. I dunno much ‘bout it since the mayor is the one who spoke to them, but we turned it down. Since then, they’ve been harassing us to sign their papers, so every young-lookin’ person dressed almost like you guys, we try kicking them out.”

You never realized how bad it’s gotten here. It was just as hostile as you remember in your memories, but a little worse since your parents were there to defend you.

“I swear to God, we’re nice people, but we gotta put up our guard if those bastards keep on coming back,” she sighs heavily. “But to be brutally honest, I really do think we need the money. As you can tell, our place is a shithole, and those big guys are willing to give us a small portion of the money.”

“But it isn’t really about the money, is it?” You ask.

She doesn’t respond immediately. Rather, she nods.

“You’re damn right. Those corporations don’t realize that they’re creating the biggest graveyard in history.”

Kim’s eyes widen, covering her mouth as she stares at you and Margaret. “No way...you mean to tell me…”

Margaret nods again. “This ‘Winter Bear’ ain’t no fable. It’s real.”

Kim places her hands flat on the tables. “Kids actually go missing?! I knew it! Everything was just too suspicious to be simply a story.”

“Yea, so even if we need the money to keep the town going, we ain’t gonna risk some kids’ lives for it.”

“Wait,” Kim pauses. “So then...if the disappearances of children are real, then what’s the actual cause of it? Don’t tell me it’s actually a bear.”

She shakes her head. “We don’t know either. All we know is that once the kids go into the forest, they don’t come back.”

Margaret glances at you, but you avoid her gaze. You act as if you have nothing to do with the conversation, sipping the tea.

“But that doesn’t make sense. Bears hibernate during winter and these disappearances happen around this time. Wouldn’t it make more sense that it’s some other animal or a person? Not a bear. And only winter?” Kim scratches her head.

“Not to sound like a smartass, but bears actually don’t hibernate.”

“What?? Really?”

“They sleep longer during the winter to save energy, but they wake up in case of danger or hunger. It is possible that you can still encounter a bear.”

“So then...do you think it’s possible that bears eat the children due to the lack of food?”

Margaret shrugs her shoulders. “That could be it, but let me ask you this: wouldn’t you think a bear would leave traces of the child? Clothes? Blood? Something? They disappear into thin air, almost like they never existed.”

This sends chills down Kim’s spine. She’s heard of this many times, but hearing it from an actual resident who has lived through children going missing is terrifying...but also intriguing.

“That means that we have to check the forest! Wait, Miss (Y/N), you said that you came here before. If kids go missing, then how did you survive?”

You stare at the wall, noticing how particularly yellow it is. Judging by how dirty the place is, it makes you wonder if the wallpaper was white but got stale as time went by. You’ve been very quiet, not bothering to put your input, and this concerns Margaret. She knew that Kim was stepping over her boundaries.

“...(Y/N)?” Kim asks. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yea, I’m fine.”

“After your tea, I can show you young ladies where to go for the inn.”

Kim doesn’t read the atmosphere, not seeing how uncomfortable you’ve become. You clench onto the teacup, pinching the handle with all your might. You were confident when the thought of coming here sprung up, but being physically here is more demanding than you could’ve ever imagined.

———

Some time has gone by since the visit to Margaret’s place. She showed you two around the place, introducing you to some of the residents. Some of them you remember, but others you don’t. They don’t recognize you either, and Margaret is kind enough not to share your name with them. Once she’s finished showing you two around town, she eventually leads you two to the inn.

In the room, Kim is taking a shower while you sit by the edge of your bed. Despite struggling to find reception, the inn miraculously has some, although a bit slow. You have over fifty text messages from only two people—Suniya and your mother. Both of their messages are asking how you and Kim are doing. However, you turn off your phone, sighing as you toss it aside. You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling fan blanketed with dust. The fan itself looks like it’ll fall any second, seeing as it shakes even from the lightest movement.

You were naive to think that your problems will be solved if you stepped into Little Bare again. It’s more complicated than you expected, and now you want out. However, you’ve already promised to work with Kim; you can’t break the deal. You wish Suniya was here to yell at you, to tell you that you’ve made a dumb decision. That way, it would at least sound like she cares. Even though you’ve gotten to know Kim a little more, it still feels like you’ve stranded yourself on a foreign land.

And that image of the little girl, Annie, continuously appearing every time you close your eyes. Every corner of this town reminds you of her, like a ghost haunting you. You can sense her presence in the corner of the room, purposely watching you with hollow, blackened holes for eyes. She’s standing there in her pink parka and blue-striped dress, waiting for you to make your next move.

You groan, rubbing your eyes. You apply enough pressure that your eyes are being pushed back, rubbing so fast that your skin turns red. No matter how much you try to push the thoughts away, she just keeps coming back. Just as Kim exited the room, you get off the bed, taking your jacket and heading straight to the door.

“Where are you going? You look like you’re in a rush to start a mission.”

“It’s too small in here. I need some fresh air.”

“O-oh, okay...but please stay safe! Who knows what kinds of creeps are out there.”

“I will. Thanks.” You open the door and close it behind you.

———

You walk around, hands in the pockets of your jacket. There is no wind, but the drop in temperature stiffens your muscles. Just like in the morning, no one is occupying the streets. It’s just you, alone, with your bothersome thoughts. It manifests into a black aura, clinging onto the back of your head.

You thought about heading to Margaret’s place just to get things off of your chest, but you change your mind. She never directly stated it, but she knew who you were and what you went through. It was an odd moment that she sympathized with you without knowing exactly what had happened.

A flashy neon sign catches your attention. It’s in the shape of a brown beer bottle, pouring bubbles into a glass wine. It’s the bar that’s across the street of the general store called Bar & Grill. You’re not a drinker, but when your stress gets overwhelming, you tend to be persuaded by the lust of alcohol. Wanting to get rid of this black aura looming, you make the decision to enter the bar.

———

Your head is on the counter table, your arms around it to hide your red face. The inside of the place has very few people, only a few men who just came back from work, but even these men are barely whispering a word. The bartender stands on the other side of the counter, cleaning the glass cups with a white cloth.

“Hey, Miss. Do you have someone to take you home?”

You groan.

The bartender sighs. “You’re a young woman. Do you know how easy it is to be preyed on?”

“I can...handle myself,” you raise your head up, one eye open. “I practically raised myself! What makes you think I’m irresponsi...ble? You dunno me.” You slur your words.

The bartender sets the cup down, putting her hand on her hip and leaning on the counter. She isn’t sure if your red, watery eyes are because you drank so much or if you’re becoming emotional.

“You’re one of those researchers that came here earlier today, huh? Marge told me,” she shakes her head. “Jesus Christ, you city people really don’t know the limits to drinking.”

Next to you are five empty beer cups with the foam sliding down on the sides. You snicker at how much you drank, followed by a hiccup. “Wow, you’re right. I’m usually good at self-control. I know how to control my problems, but tonight is not one of those times.”

“It’s not that you’re good at controlling your problems. You’re just good at avoiding them. Marge told me about you, and no offense, but she thinks it’s fucking strange that you don’t look like you’re bothered that your sister was taken away by that monster. But I disagree. You’re pretending like it ever happened.”

“Excuse me? Who are you to assume how I feel??”

“Our place is practically off-coordinates with maps, but we still have those runaways who come to the bar every so often. You’re no different from them. So…”

“What?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She crosses her arms. “I won’t tell anybody. We pretend that tonight never existed.”

You rummage your hand through your messy hair, calming down. It might be the toxication persuading you, but you’re not comfortable telling her.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh really?”

“I don’t want to, and it’s because I don’t know how to talk about it. If I can’t even talk to my mom about it, then why the hell do you think I can tell you? When I did want to bring Annie’s disappearance up, my mom would change the subject. It’s not only that, but it was like...she wanted to make me disappear too. And I know it’s because she fucking blames me for losing her, and seeing my face reminds her that she lost her baby. She always favored Annie anyway, so it wasn’t surprising that when she went missing, she...she said…”

You have a flashback of when you were a child during the aftermath. You and your parents returned safely home but without Annie. Your six-year-old mind thought that if you stared at Annie’s cradle in your parents’ bedroom every so often, she would magically return. But to your dismay, your efforts were in vain, and she never appeared.

One night, you woke up from a repeating nightmare of the day you lost her, so to soothe your racing heart, you jumped out of your bed and ran to their bedroom to look at her cradle, praying that she’s there. But rather than seeing your parents asleep, they’re sitting by the edge of the bed. Your mother is curled into a ball, sobbing profusely while your father makes attempts to comfort her with shallow pats on the back. In between her cries, you heard:

“Why couldn’t it have been (Y/N)?”

Returning from a trip to the past, taking your wallet out and paying with cash. You put on your coat and head straight to the exit.

“Where are you going?” The bartender asks.

“To sleep.”

You march right out the bar, massaging your head. After opening the doors, you step out and nearly tripped. For a second, your foggy mind thought you stepped through a hole, but it turns out to be snow. Some time has gone since you’ve been holed up in the bar that it already began snowing and it’s piled up.

You wobble to the empty forest, leaving a trace of your footprints. You despise being anywhere near the empty forest that surrounds Little Bare, but with alcohol, you think you’re invincible. You stand in front of the forest, being unable to see into the distance with the fog blocking your view. But amongst the fog, there is an apparition.

You squint your eyes, but they fail to make sense of what stands far away. But what you can make of the figure is that it’s small and crouched over. It’s alive, moving around but at the same time, staying in the same spot. It isn’t far, but it isn’t that close either.

Your mind immediately draws to that apparition being a bear. That bear that took everything away from you--your little sister, your chance at a childhood, a shot at a proper adult life, everything. Anger spurs within you, no longer having that rationality in your fragile mind. Within a spur of impulse, you pick up a rock the size of your hand, pulling it back and throwing directly toward the bear.

“FUCK YOU!” You shout from the top of your lungs.

Despite the influence of alcohol, you nailed the apparition right at its head. It falls to the ground, the sound of a ‘plop’ echoing. In that brief act of revenge, victory overcame you. You nearly raise your hands up in celebration, thinking that you defeated your arch-nemesis. But you manage to return to your senses, realizing that the apparition isn’t a figment of your imagination...but an actual person. Then your adrenaline fades away.

You trek through the thick snow, hopping through it until you enter the forest, whilst tripping and stumbling. You lean over the black figure, rubbing your eyes to make sure that what you’re seeing is real. Unable to stand straight, you fall backward and land on your bottom. After blinking, dread sets in when you realize that it’s a child.

“Oh my god...oh no...help...”

You try to stand up to look for help, but once you do, your vision turns black and you become light-headed. Nausea hits you, wrapping your hand around your stomach to control your gag reflexes. The alcohol, lack of food and water, combined with the high elevation comes altogether, making you fall down again.

As your eyelashes flutter, there’s a flashlight illuminating from the direction where you came from. Just when you’re about to close your eyes, the young boy’s body grows exponentially, growing to an exact size of a fully-grown adult right before you.

———

“Mom! Dad! I made a best friend!! He lives in a cave in the forest with the black trees...No! I’m not lying. He really does live there! He’s six years old like me...What? He’s real!! He doesn’t live with a mom and dad, but he said that he lives with kids like me and him too…

“And I told him that I would show him Annie, too...”

“Don’t…!” You sit up in an unfamiliar room in a cold sweat and heavy breathing.

You’re on a clean bed, made of pure white. On the walls, there are drawings of the human anatomy, motivational quotes plastered on a piece of paper with words such as ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’ and ‘be calm and exercise’.

Next the bed is Kim, startled by you suddenly waking up. “(Y/N)?! Are you okay??”

You look at your hand that’s trembling violently, but now that you’re conscious, the hangover hits you hard like a bullet. That massive headache and your stomach twisted in a knot. There’s a lump in your throat with the urge to throw up, but there’s nothing that’s coming out.

“Where...is this place?”

“It’s the clinic. The bartender found you unconscious with a man in the woods and thought that he was trying to take advantage of you.”

“A man…?”

You search through with what very little that you remember last night. You went to the bar to waste away, then you walked out. There was someone in the forest—a young boy. It was too dark to make sense of the boy’s details, but you just knew based on his shape that it was definitely a male.

“No...no…” You squeeze your eyes shut, enduring the pestering headache as you shake your head. “It...it was a boy. A kid.”

“What?” She raises an eyebrow. “There were no kids around, just the man. They’re interrogating him right now.”

You don’t recall a man being there. You must’ve been that fucked up to mistaken a man for a child. Even though it shouldn’t be an issue, it’s bothering you a lot. You remove the blanket, attempting to get out of bed before Kim stops you.

“What are you doing??”

“I have to see the man.”

“No! The doctor advised that you sit. You haven’t been eating, so you’re light-headed.”

“Let me see him. I need to.”

“Stop being crazy and just rest! They made food for you, so just eat and sleep.”

She puts her arms on you, but you gently push her hands away. “I will after I see him.”

You get out of bed, trying to stand but the light-headedness sets in. Your vision turns black briefly, causing you to stumble over your feet. Kim comes to the aid, helping you balance.

“See? I told you. Just rest.”

“No...I’m good. Do you know where this guy’s room is?”

Seeing how adamant you are about it, she decides to give in. “He’s in the room next to you.”

You head out of the room, walking slowly so that you don’t fall, then exiting the room. In the halls, there’s nobody, making it easier for you to head into the other room without any interruptions. You twist the doorknob, swinging it open to find the doctor and policeman, assuming by the uniforms that they’re wearing for their designated jobs. They turn to you, caught off-guard by your entrance.

The man that you’re looking for is on the bed, tilting his head when you two make eye contact. He has a long face, void of a smile. His black hair is frizzy and curly, strands of it flying all directions as if he just woke up. There are bandages wrapped around his head. After that short contact, he looks away, grabbing the doctor’s sleeve and using it to hide his face.

“Miss (Y/N)? What are you doing up?” The doctor asks.

Kim follows from behind.

“Miss Kim, I told you to watch over her.”

“I’m sorry...but she was persistent in seeing him.”

“Him…?”

Now that you have gotten your opportunity to meet with the man, you don’t know what to do. You stand still, at a loss of words when you meet the man that you ran into the forest. Perhaps you really did run into a man, not a child. You were under the influence, after all.

“Miss (Y/N),” the policeman starts. “Since you seem well enough to be standing, can I have a word with you?”

“Sure…”

———

“Amnesia?”

Returning back to your room, the policeman explains what they were discussing earlier. Kim had returned to the hotel room to give you and the police some privacy, and the doctor is staying with the man.

He sits with his hands folded on his lap, giving you a serious expression. “Yes. It’s a minor blunt-force trauma to the head, like something no bigger than a rock.”

“Oh my god…I was the one who hit him.”

“Did he try to assault you?”

You shake your head. “I did out of anger, but not at him. I was drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.”

You fear that you’ll get in trouble, but you’re more fearful of the condition that you left the young man in. You weren’t expecting your throw to be that strong. The policeman scratches his beard, figuring out what to do in this situation.

“For all I know, you could be lying.”

You gulp.

“But hey, you could also be telling the truth. We don’t know until we check out the scene and hear his side. He doesn’t remember crap—not even his own name. For now, we’ll continue the investigation.”

You sigh in relief, but that still doesn’t deter the guilt from you. The man is a victim of your outlash, and it’s natural for you to want to make up for what you’ve done, even if it’s minor.

“Uhm...how is he…? The guy, I mean.”

“Other than the total amnesia, he’s in a healthy state. It’s strange, though. Other than a large coat, he was wearing a thin layer of clothes, but his body temperature wasn’t affected by the cold. We don’t have young people living here either, so it’s a mystery where he came from.”

He stands up from the chair, walking to the door.

“Well, it’s nice meeting you, Miss (Y/N). If you remember anything, then don’t be afraid to come to me. My name is Sheriff Tusk, and I’ll be in the police station often.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Sheriff Tusk walks out, leaving you alone. You fall back, resting your head on the pillow as you exhale. So much has happened in a short amount of time that it’s difficult to believe that all this actually happened. Even if you got away with being put to jail, you feel immensely guilty for hurting him.

———

The next day, you’ve been discharged from the hospital, suffering only from lack of nutrients and a hangover. Kim is in the room with you, helping you pack your things. Neither of you say much, focusing on putting your belongings away. You keep thinking about the man next-door, wondering how he’s doing. You keep stealing glances at Kim, wanting to ask her if you two can visit him but never gathering enough courage to actually ask her.

“Are you ready?” Kim asks as she puts the last folded shirt into your luggage.

“Hm? Oh, yea.”

You take the luggage from her and head to the door. Kim looks at her phone, once again, seeing that her phone has low reception. You pass by the man’s room, stopping in front of it and nearly causing Kim to bump into you.

“Whoa, what’s going on?”

Without a response, your eyes lay heavily on the door, struggling with the debate of whether or not you should enter.

“...(Y/N)...?”

Eventually, you make the final decision, approaching it and your hand grasping the doorknob. You pull the door open, making Kim confused, but not stopping you from continuing.

Inside the room, your peer at the bed, seeing the man sitting upward with a movable table that has a tray of food on top. He holds a cup of pudding in his hand, eating the chocolate-flavored dessert faster than the sound of light. He eats as though he hasn’t eaten in days, the pudding smearing on the corners of his lips.

It takes a moment for him to sense your presence, jolting and freezing when he sees you. You blink profusely, looking around the room nervously. You wanted to see him again, but you didn’t think about what, or if, you wanted to say something.

The man holds the end of his blanket and pulls it up.

You scratch the back of your neck, looking only at the corner of the room. “Hi, uh...I don’t think I’ve ever formally introduced myself. My name is (Y/N).”

You move closer and extend your hand out, but it makes the man flinch. Seeing that he doesn’t want to accept your hand, you pull it back.

“I don’t know if the doctor told you but...I’m the one who threw a rock at you, which is why you have that injury. I came in to say that I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t respond to you. Rather, he stares as if he’s fearful for his life, his pupils shaking from seeing you. You take one more step, wanting to get to know him, but it makes him flinch.

“I hope you—”

“S-stay away from me…” He whimpers.

His voice is deeper than any man’s voice, and yet his tone is like a scared child. Even the way he pronounced each syllable is with a lisp and not proper, as if he’s slurring. Despite his masculine outlook with his broad shoulders, tall height, and sharp eyes, underneath that shell, he’s fearful and small.

On the right side of you is the bathroom, the door open. You face the mirror, looking at your reflection. You see yourself as an ordinary person, but this man probably sees you as something, not someone, else in his reflection.

Kim puts her hand on your shoulder, pulling you back gently. “Miss (Y/N), I think it’s better to leave him alone.”

You know it’s better to do that, but there’s an urge within you, pushing you to stay. There’s an internal battle between you and yourself, the desire to stay and talk to him but leaving him alone to rest. Ultimately, you choose Kim’s suggestion.

You take a few steps back, your courage slowly being broken down with each step. “S-sorry…”

Breaking from a blanked trance, you abruptly pace out of the room and to the lobby. Kim is left confused, her head turning back and forth between you and the man.

“Sorry about bursting into your room. I pray for a healthy recovery.” Kim runs off to find you.

———

You stand just outside the small and aging medical building, Kim eventually catching up to you.

“Hey! What was up with that?”

No response.

“Miss (Y/N)...? Hello?”

“I...I don’t know.”

You couldn’t quite understand it either, unsure of what it was that made it okay to visit him. Despite his amnesia, it seems like he’s aware that you’re the one who injured him. With your behavior worrying her, Kim puts her hands on your shoulders, shaking you slightly.

“Do you know that guy?”

“No...no, not really.”

This is the first time you’ve met him, but there’s something about that man that you can’t put your finger on it. Perhaps it’s the guilt talking to your rationale or the urge to talk to somebody who’s close to your age. You just can’t let go of this.

“Well, you shouldn’t worry about it. The sheriff let you off, so you don’t have to take care of him.”

What Kim says floats over your head. You’re not doing this to appear like a law-abiding citizen. There’s this unconscious instinct that’s pulling you to him. It sounds unrealistic and dramatic, but there’s no other way you can describe this feeling. You turn around, staring at the medical building.

———

“What do you mean I can’t visit?”

In the main lobby, the doctor is sitting behind his desk, reading the newspaper. He lowers his glasses to give you a hollow glare. It’s the next day, and you decided to visit the man a second time but your visitation has been turned down by the doctor.

“Visiting without the patient’s permission, especially consistently, is harassment. I’ve been notified of what happened yesterday, so to protect each patient’s safety, I advise that you leave him alone.”

“But I’m not doing anything bad. I just want to talk to him.”

“I know you don’t have malicious intentions, but he’s still recovering from the head injury. Plus, the police are investigating, so it’s better if you leave him alone to avoid trouble.”

“I know, but…” You trail off.

“And you should be resting as well. You’re slightly anemic and are lacking some sugar in you. I’d say run to the store and buy some ice cream.”

Despite that, you stand still. Eating for your physical health’s sake isn’t your priority, but to see the man again. The desire to see him is just as haunting as seeing delusions of your little sister.

He raises an eyebrow, folding his newspaper up and leaning over his desk. “Why are you so persistent in talking to him? From as far as I can tell, you two don’t know each other.”

He’s asking a question that you don’t know the answer to. He waits for a response, but nothing. You seem hesitant, figuring out why it’s your first instinct to see him. You just have to, but if you tell him that, then he’ll most likely kick you out anyway for an absurd reason.

Seeing as you won’t say anything, he leans back, returning to his newspaper. “Well then, I’m sorry but without a proper reason, I can’t let you see him.”

“But…!”

He sighs, losing his patience with you. “I will call Sheriff Tusk if you don’t leave us alone.”

With the threat of police involvement, it pulls you back. You turn to the door, your shoulders raised up.

“Damn city people, thinking they can do whatever they want.” The doctor whispers.

You stop in your tracks. Normally, you don’t let insults like these get to you, but his tone made it seem like you’re scum. You’re not being stubborn because you think you’re superior to the rest of them, but he paints it that way.

With your eyes filled with red, you spin around, marching right back at the doctor. He notices right away, lowering the newspaper and preparing for an attack from you. You clench your fist, getting ready to let him know what’s been in your mind and conveying that through a punch.

But you purposely look away from him, looking at the corner of the room, your inner voice telling you to stop. When you get to his desk, you nearly slam your hand on it before the last nanosecond, pulling the force back and your fists making a soft landing.

You stare straight into the doctor’s shaking eyes. You exhale heavily, cooling down your temper. “Sorry. I just wanted to say that mold is growing in the corners. You should give it a look.”

He raises an eyebrow, questioning your mental state. Absolutely nothing made sense, not even to you. You turn around and pacing out of the building. He fixes his glasses, having no clue what just happened. He looks at the corner, seeing the black mold growing.

———

Outside of the medical building, you crouch into a fetal position, hiding your face in your knees. You don’t know what’s going on with you. You don’t have full control of your body, and it’s scaring you. One second, you’re oddly pulled toward that strange man, the next second, you let your anger take the driver's seat. You’re beginning to think that you belong in an insane asylum.

“Oh my, what in the devil’s name are you doing?” Margaret jogs to you.

She crouches over, rubbing your back. She takes your arm and helps you stand up. You’re confused, not knowing who’s touching you or where you’re at. You come back to your senses when you see Margaret’s face.

“Don’t be sitting in the snow like that, you crazy woman! Look at you, dressed like a whore out here in the cold and only wearing a thin layer of clothes!”

Calling you a ‘whore’ was a bit uncalled for, but you don’t get angry.

“Jesus Christ, that damn doc discharged you early. That scum of a doc probably let you go early because he’s too lazy to take care of you. C’mon girly, come to my place.”

She holds onto you, letting you lean on her to her place.

———

In her kitchen, Margaret sets a tray of cookies from a tin box in front of you with a warm cup of coffee. You sit with your knees close to your chest, curled up in a ball. You pick up a cookie, but the edges start crumbling. After a bite, it practically falls apart in your mouth and makes your throat dry. You take a sip of the coffee, clearly tasting the stale flavor of the grounded beans and sink water combined. You try not to make a bitter look, but you can’t help it.

“That boy has been stirring shit up even though he’s the one being holed up in that den. The whole town has been talking about him.”

She takes a seat next to you, putting sugar in her coffee and mixing it with a spoon. She takes a sip, smacking her lips after tasting her awful coffee calmly as if this taste is normal to her.

“But seeing a young man is definitely a breath of fresh air. Like with you and your Kimmy friend, it’s rare to see youngins here. Maybe he was with those contractors from the other day and got separated from them.”

It’s the most sensible explanation, but it doesn’t explain why he was alone in the forest. If he was a part of those businessmen, then he would’ve long since gone into the town and asked for help.

“What were you doing there, on your knees like you were prayin’?”

Once again, there’s that hesitation. She looks at you, ready for you to spill your heart out, but two decades of being a closed book, it feels way too strange to share. Just from your silence alone, she can tell that you’re not comfortable yet.

“You know that by clamming it into your brain ain’t gonna make it better. Even if you don’t tell me, I know exactly why you’re freaking out like your ass’s on fire.”

It’s a weird simile, but you take it.

“I know your struggle, but it ain’t like I understand it though. That’s why you gotta explain it.”

You hold the cup with your two hands, looking down at your reflection in the coffee.

“Don’t think that just because you’re all grown up now that I don’t remember what happened to you and Annie. I’ve lived here for thirty years, and every single kid who went missing here has been imprinted in my head. If there’s someone you want to talk to, don’t be afraid to talk. Or…” Margaret wipes imaginary dust off your shoulders, raising her eyebrows and smiling widely like a cartoon character. “I’m wrong and you crushin’ on that boy.”

“What the…? No.”

“Lady, don’t hide it. I saw how much you were beggin’ to see that young lad. I know young love when I see it.”

“It’s not even remotely close,” You don’t know how this turned romantic suddenly. “It’s normal for someone with decent morals to make sure that the person they harmed is okay.”

“Whatever you say, girly.”

It was so long ago, but now you remember. That time when you first came here, Margaret also told your parents to scram. Being no taller than your mother’s waist, she looked like a giant—a real-life monster scaring you to death. You can’t recall the exact words, but she must’ve been just as hostile as she was with you and Kim on the first day. But with the lens of an adult, now you know that those shouts were for concerns. She must’ve seen you and Annie and knew what ill fate was about to occur.

You look out the window and at the clinic. That man is still in his room, doing God knows what. “Margaret, don’t get the wrong impression, but how much are your flowers and candy?”

———

One of the good things about this clinic is that it’s open 24/7, but the doctor sleeps at his desk. You open the door carefully, making sure that you don’t make a noise. You keep your eye on the doctor, nervous that he’ll wake up. In your hands is a bouquet of flowers and on the other is a grocery bag. You move your hands as little as possible, holding two of the loudest objects in your arms. Luckily, you manage to pass by without waking him up, your feet lightly making its way up the stairs and to the man’s room.

As you sneak through the halls, you’re beginning to think of yourself as a creepy person. You really went through the lengths to see a man who you’ve harmed once and spoken to once. You’ve always been questioning your mental stability, but this is pushing it. A part of you wants you to run out, but you’ve already put yourself deep into this mess to leave.

You make it to his bedroom, a single light coming from behind the curtains. You knock on the door, and although you don’t get a response, you can hear the sheets fluttering. You put your hand on the doorknob, but then you pull back, the reality of the situation hitting you hard. Sighing heavily, you think it’s best to leave. At this rate, what you’re doing can get you into massive trouble.

Just as you turn around, you hear a loud bang in the man’s room, followed by the ringing echoes of metal objects dropping. You scrunch your shoulders up, nearly screaming at the sudden loudness. This prompts you to open the door and check what happened.

In the room, you look around, but only darkness wraps around you, taking seconds for your eyes to adjust to it. On the ground is the man, squirming around, entangled in the blanket. You’re unsure of what to do, placing the grocery bag and bouquet on the bed. You attempt to pull the sheets off of him, but his kicking and punching creates a struggle for both of you.

“Hey, you don’t need to move so much…!”

After a while, you’re able to pull it off. When he sees you, he freezes, and you as well. You move back, on your knees, but having no idea how to explain why you’re here, you scratch the back of your neck.

“So uhm...what were you doing on the floor?”

Why did you even ask that, you idiot?! You want to slap yourself, but you remain cool. The man stares at you, having no idea how to answer you. If anything, he seems more frightened than shocked to see you. You try to think of anything to reassure him that you’re not a threat.

You grab the bouquet from the bed and show it to him. “This is for you.”

He stares at it curiously, like he doesn’t know what it is. He reaches over to grab it, but he pulls his hand back.

“Wh...where did you get this?”

“...I got it from the store…?”

Since it’s winter, most of the flowers have been shipped from other areas, but Margaret’s shop didn’t have that many, so the bouquet is rather small. He eyes it in awe as if he’s never seen these before. He pulls a rose out, inspecting every angle. He bends the stem, then picks a petal off. He does it again, and again, and again until his lap is surrounded with red petals. What’s left of the rose is the crooked stem, and the thorns.

He sweeps the crimson petals into a pile, finding the smoothness of it satisfying, pinching them in between his thumb and index finger. He raises his head, giving you round, innocent eyes, pointing at himself. “Are these for me?”

“Y-yea…”

You almost forgot about the second half of the gift. You grab the grocery bag, spilling the content all over the floor. It’s different kinds of candy—chocolate bars, jawbreakers, and gummy worms.

“When I came here last time, you were eating that pudding to death, so I thought you’d like to have more sweets.” You don’t even know if he’s supposed to be consuming this much sugar, but you thought that you just had to buy him these.

You give him a watermelon-flavored hard candy. He tilts his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. That’s when he pops the candy into his mouth, not bothering to remove the wrapper.

“Ah! What are you doing?! Spit it out!” You sit up, pulling yourself closer to him.

Startled by your raised voice, he flinches at first, raising his arms up like you were about to hit him. He spits out the candy immediately, that childish curiosity disappearing. You move back, wondering if your loud tone scared him.

“You...you can’t eat it like that. You have to take off the wrapper first.”

You wait for him to pick up the wet candy, but he doesn’t. Not wanting to pick up the saliva-covered candy, you pick up a different one, showing it to him.

“Copy me.”

He picks up the one he spat out, pinching the wrinkled edges just like you. You pull it outward, the wrapper spinning and loosening. Once the twists come off, you unpeel the plastic, showing him a hardened sphere. You put in your mouth, letting the sweetness soak in your mouth.

“Like that.”

He does what you do, the candy twirling until it’s untwisted. He takes it out, eating it, and that’s when his eyes widen, astonished by how sweet it is.

“It’s sweeter than pudding!” He exclaims.

His enthusiasm for how sweet candy is is absolutely weird...yet endearing. For a man who’s around your age to behave like he’s experiencing sugar for the first time is abnormal, but it makes you feel...warm inside.

He tries to bite the candy, but he wasn’t expecting it to be this difficult and ends up hurting his jaw. “Ow…but it’s not soft like pudding.”

You hold back the urge to laugh. He definitely has been living under a rock if he didn’t know that he can’t bite it down so easily. That’s probably why the doctor gave him soft foods.

He reaches for another one, but you stop him. “What are you doing?”

“I want to eat another one.”

“I-I know it’s for you but...you should wait to have more in the morning. It’s not good for your teeth.”

He’s saddened, but he obeys. He folds his hand, but his eyes won’t leave the candy that you dropped everywhere. Unable to say no to his puppy eyes, you give him candy that’s easier to chew. Not letting him unwrap it himself, you open it for him.

“This is taffy. It’s strawberry flavor. I think you might like it.”

You give it to him, and lights sparkle behind his eyes. He eats it, savoring the taste. Seeing his smile makes you feel fuzzy, like seeing how genuinely happy he is for something as simple as getting candy makes you want to smile too.

“Uhm...I don’t know if I ever got your name,” but then you recall that he doesn’t remember his name. “Actually, wait...never mind.”

“...Taehyung.”

Taehyung? It sounds out of place for a town like Little Bare. He definitely isn’t from here, which only brings more mystery as to who he actually is. Other than that, it’s a unique name foreign to you.

“I’m...sorry for hitting you on the head. I wasn’t thinking straight and did something really stupid…”

“Yea, it really hurt,” he points out blatantly. “Just promise me that you won’t do it again. Not just to me, but to anybody else.”

It felt out of sorts that somebody as immature as Taehyung would give you a lecture, but you nod. “Promise.”

“Okay.” And just like that, he continues eating the taffy.

He scoots closer to you, losing the tensity in his muscles. Your determination to see him has finally died down, and now the timidness is entering your body. It’s impossible to distract yourself from him, watching him eat with absolute happiness, glad that you ignored the urge to run away and stayed.

You stare at the candies on the ground, the sensation of nostalgia overcoming you. You ate these when you were a child, and you ate these a lot with Annie, especially the watermelon-flavored candy. Since her disappearance, it was difficult for you to consume these again. But times have changed, and you bought these impulsively for Taehyung.

You bite the candy that’s in your mouth, breaking it into pieces to swallow, then putting the watermelon one in. Eating it was like going back in time, being that six-year-old, naive girl. You even ate this when you were here, fighting with Annie and not sharing one until your mother yelled at you to share. It’s such a trivial memory, but one that you remember vividly.

But this is the reason why you avoided anything relating to this town. It brings back memories that you tried so hard to bury deep in your head. You don’t want to be re-attached to emotions that you cut the strings to. You flutter your eyelashes, raising your head at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. You can hear Annie’s laughter, holding her small, chubby hands as you two run through the snow. You exhale slowly, but it’s shaky, and your chest feels heavy.

“(Y/N)...are you okay?” Your trance is broken when you hear Taehyung’s voice.

You return to your senses, surprised that he remembers your name. “N-no...I’m just...I just haven’t...it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side, observing you fighting back the tears as you rub your eyes. With your eyes closed, he extends his hand out, reaching for your head, but when you open them back up, he pulls it back immediately.

———

“Oh no, Tae, what happened this time??”

“They were pushing me around again. They were throwing snowballs and telling me to go away. They kept telling me that they don’t play with immigrants. What does that mean?”

“...Ignore them. Tell me where they hit you.”

“My head...they kept aiming there.”

“A snowball is not supposed to hurt. Oh dear God...you’re bleeding again. Don’t tell me, did they put rocks in the snowballs again??”

“I don’t know...but it really hurts.”

“My poor child…”

“...Mom…”

“Yes?”

“...Am I an alien?”

“What? No! You’re Kim Taehyung, the strongest boy.”

“But...I’m skinnier than the rest of the kids. Plus...they keep saying that I have small eyes. I can never beat them at racing.”

“Taehyung. Do you know what’s the strongest forest animal?”

“What?”

“A bear. They’re huge and can beat up anything that stands in their way. But you know what else makes a bear strong? Not only physical strength, but their will power to stay alive too. You may be a cub right now, but when you grow up, you’re going to be the strongest bear in the entire world! You’re going to be so strong that you won’t need to hibernate like the rest of the grizzlies. That’s why, no matter what, Taehyung, you’ll always be my baby bear. When you’re in trouble, call for me and I’ll be there. I promise I won’t leave you. Now, let’s get you treated at the clicnic.”

———

“Are you insane??” Kim’s booming voice echoes across the inn. Kim’s hands are on her hips, like a mother scolding her child.

You’re by the edge of the bed, startled by her voice.

“Did you really think that the doctor wouldn’t see the things you left for that guy? The doctor told me everything this morning. What the hell were you thinking, sneaking into his room late at night??”

You sigh, unbuttoning your coat. “His name is Taehyung.”

“His name doesn’t matter. What matters is that you broke into his room. It’s already enough that you nearly got in trouble for injuring him, but this? This is pushing it!” She wants to say more, but letting her anger out on you won’t do anything to ease it.

The way she lectures you reminds you of Suniya, and it might be because Kim is beginning to understand what she meant when she said that you’re disconnected. Logic does not correlate with you and you do things erratically.

“But I didn’t hurt him this time. We had a little chat, and I gave him a few things.”

“But did it really have to be during the middle of the night?”

It didn’t, but there was no other way if the doctor was going to keep you away from him.

“Is it because you felt bad?”

“...I guess? He’s a really nice guy. You should talk to him. Everything he says is interesting.”

You don’t need her to tell you that what you did was wrong, but perhaps she’s doing it because of how nonchalant you are.

“Miss (Y/N)...you can’t forget about why we’re here. This isn’t a vacation, we’re working, and we both haven’t even jotted down a single word. Fooling around with a stranger—”

“Taehyung.”

“...Taehyung...Talking to him is going to waste more time. He’s not paying for our meals.”

You fold your hands on your lap, glaring at it. She can tell you feel a little guilty, so she tries figuring out how to talk to you without you becoming withdrawn. She takes a seat next to you, but makes a clear gap between you and her.

“Remember why we’re here. There’s a story that we have to tell, right? To warn people that this place isn’t meant to be lived in.”

You pick on your fingernails, fully aware of your purpose for being here...but seeing Taehyung was almost like a calling...That night, talking and eating candy on the floor, it felt like an eternity since you last spoke to someone that didn’t have anything to do with work. Even though you’ve never met him before, it felt like you’ve known him for years.

“Yea...yea, yea. I know.”

“If you know, then let's start our work today. We’ve gotten comfortable with this place, so let’s start by interviewing the townspeople.”

“Okay.”

———

Laying on his back is Taehyung, raising his arms up and staring at the candy wrapper. He covers the ceiling light with the wrapper, and he smiles while thinking of you.

“Taehyung, focus.” The doctor snaps his fingers.

Taehyung flinches and crunches the wrapper in his hand. Sitting on a stool next to the bed is the doctor with a clipboard.

“Answer my questions. Have you recollected any memories since your stay here?”

Taehyung shakes his head.

“Nothing?”

He nods.

“So is it really your name that you only remember?”

He nods again.

“And you have no idea where you’re from? Not a clue?”

He shrugs his shoulders. His lack of vocal response irritates the doctor slightly, but forcing Taehyung to answer won’t solve anything either.

“Well then, your health is improving exponentially, so you’ll be discharged soon. If you still can’t remember who you are, then we have to figure out where you can stay.”

The doctor gets up and leaves the room. Waiting in the hallway is Sheriff Tusk, his arms crossed. They look at each other, disappointed looks on their faces.

“Anything?” Tusk asks.

The doctor shakes his head. “I can’t get anything out of him. He’s got the mentally of a child stuck in a man’s body. Despite that, he’s recovering at a rapid pace, faster than an average person. His internal injuries are practically gone and all he has left is for his scar to go away. But...something did happen last night.”

“What?”

“That city chick, (Y/N), snuck in here.”

Sheriff Tusk throws his head back. “What in the hell…? For what?”

“To drop off some gifts for him.”

“...You don’t think she’s tryna coerce him? She is the reason why he’s here.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I have no clue. I’m not sure if you remember, but she’s the one with the missing sister.”

“Oh, that’s the girl? Why the hell is she back here for?”

“From what Margaret said, she and her friend are here to write a book.”

Sheriff Tusk sighs, running his hand through his beard. “Fucking shit...It’s already enough that those goddamn contractors keep coming back…”

“Well, technically the girls aren’t causing harm, so far. I can have Margaret keep an eye on them.”

“Alright...I’ll continue with the investigation. For now, make sure that that young man doesn’t leave. Once I get things together, I have a few questions for him too.”

The doctor nods and Tusk walks off. Once the sheriff walks out of the building, he turns around and returns to Taehyung’s room. But when he opens the door, he nearly has a heart attack from Taehyung, who stands inches away from the door.

“Jesus Christ…! What are you doing out of bed?!”

“I heard you say (Y/N). Is she here?”

He thought that he and the sheriff were speaking quietly, so he wasn’t expecting Taehyung to eavesdrop, but he forgot that the walls are thin. He’s worried that he might’ve heard what they said, but he simply stares at the doctor with curious, naive eyes.

“No, she isn’t.”

“Do you know when she’s coming back?”

“No idea. Just go to bed.”

The demand from the doctor saddens Taehyung. He drops his head, slugging his feet across the room and back to his bed. Just like what Tusk said, the doctor is concerned that you might’ve influenced him to ruin the investigation between you and him, but it seems like he really likes you.

He puts his hands in his pocket. “Taehyung, be truthful with me. Did (Y/N) say anything to you?”

Taehyung rummages through his pockets and shows the doctor a handful of plucked petals and candy wrappers. “She showed me how to eat candy and gave me flowers. When you eat it, you have to take off this cover-thingy…” He pinches the wrapper.

“Mm-hm, okay. Anything else?”

“...Hm...oh, she also seemed kind of sad.”

“She what?”

He tries copying what you did last night, raising his head up and staring at the ceiling. “She wasn’t crying like a baby, but her eyes got watery.”

It’s no surprise. When the doctor first saw you, you seemed like a broken person upon first glance. But he didn’t want to say anything, believing it might’ve been too sensitive of him.

“...I think she hates me.”

“Hm? What makes you think that?”

“You said that she told you that she threw a rock at me and was angry, then she looked sad when she was with me. I think I hurt her before I forgot my memories.” He has a sullen look on his face.

Pitiful is what the doctor would describe Taehyung. His way of thinking is too pure...too black and white. There’s no complexity in him, so if the doctor were to discharge him, he would have no chance of surviving out there.

He leans over and pats Taehyung on the back. “She said that it was an accident and is sorry. Forget about it.”

“...But I can’t...How do you make someone forgive you?”

“You can’t make someone forgive you. Even if you’re the one who made the mistake, it’s up to the other person if they can fully accept what you’ve done,” he pokes Taehyung’s forehead. “Sometimes you think that seeking forgiveness comes from others, but it’s also forgiving yourself with what you’ve done.”

It’s too confusing for Taehyung to grasp what he means.

“But that’s saying if you really did something awful to her. Do you know if you actually hurt her?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I...don’t know. I think I did, but I can’t remember. I just don’t want to see her sad.”

The doctor can see the clear self-frustration in Taehyung. He’s convinced that he wronged you, but the real challenge comes from how he did it. But seeing him battle with himself, it leaves the doctor with a lingering thought… “I know you told her not to see me...but is it okay if I see her again? I want to say sorry to her.”

The doctor hums, thinking about that request. “I can’t make promises, but we’ll see.”

“Okay, thank you!”

———

“Don’t bother seeing him again.”

“What?!”

Later that day, the doctor came to visit you and Kim at your inn to drop the request. “You trespassed into private property and caused mental harm to my patient. And don’t you think it’s smarter to leave him alone, especially when you’re being suspected of physically harming him?”

“…I know what this is about.” You clench your fists.

“Miss (Y/N), please don’t…”

“You’re just doing this to spite us! You hate people from the city, so you’re treating us like shit!”

“Miss (Y/N)!”

“That’s what you think. But you shouldn’t be talking to someone who took the time to nurse you back to health.”

“Don’t use that excuse to justify your shitty behavior!!”

With your face turning red, Kim gets up and pulls you back from the doctor. You jerk your hands off.

“I don’t need an excuse when we have people here taking advantage of my town and the people living here for money. If you want to make money somewhere else, then do that instead, not my home.” He walks away.

“WAIT! COME BACK HERE!!” You shout.

“Miss (Y/N), stop it!!” Kim aggressively pulls you back, shutting the door to prevent you from running out. “What the fuck is going on with you?!”

“Don’t you see it?? He’s just doing that because he fucking hates us! I’m not doing shit to Taehyung!!”

“But he’s a doctor, you should listen to him!”

“Degree or no degree, you don’t need a Ph.D to be a complete asshole.”

“I can tell! Talk about yourself!” She blurts out suddenly.

However, she covers her mouth, regretting immediately with what she said. Her words pierce your heart, but in all honesty, you needed that slap in the face. You weren’t looking at yourself to realize how much trouble you were causing for others.

“Miss (Y/N), I’m so sorry I…”

“No...it’s okay. I needed that.”

“...But please...stop lying that you’re fine. You make it very obvious that something's bothering you.”

You sigh. “...I hate feeling guilty. It’s like...it’s all I could think of, and I hate it. That’s probably why I really want to see him. I can’t let this go.”

That heaviness in your chest caused by guilt is unfathomably painful—so heavy that it’s suffocating. You’re aware of your obsessive nature, and you’d like to control it, but it’s been so deeply rooted into your blood that even if you try to get rid of it, it’s almost impossible. That’s why it’s easier to pretend that the problem never existed rather than solve it.

“I’m sorry, Kim, for dragging you into this.”

Unlike the other conversations that they had before, it truly feels like you’re fully present. Your mind isn’t floating somewhere else, but here.

“It’s okay...people are bound to have their slip-ups. Just...listen to the doctor. I don’t want us to be kicked out.”

You bite on your thumb, not exactly agreeing to Kim, but just as she said, you don’t want to be forced out of town either.

———

Late at night, Taehyung is laying in bed, staring out the window as he counts the number of stars, even though he can count as far as ten. After hitting ten, he restarts and would end up counting the same stars repeatedly.

He hears a knock at the door, then the door creaking open.

“Hello…? Taehyung, are you here?”

Your voice brings a smile to his face, straightening his back. “I’m here!”

“Shh…” You peer over the corner of the wall. “The doctor is asleep.”

“Oh, okay. Did the doctor tell you to visit me again?”

“Ah ha ha...yea.” You avert your eyes.

He hears the rustling of the grocery bag in your hands. Curious, he looks down. “What’s in there?”

He bounces up and down excitedly. You take out the components in the bag, showing him some fruits and drinks. He’s in awe at the different foods you display on the bed, making his mouth water.

“Peaches!”

He picks up the pink fuzzball, almost taking a bite out of it before you take it away from him. “Wait!”

He slumps his shoulders, pouting.

“I didn’t get the chance to clean it, then I’ll cut it for you.”

You rush to the bathroom, rinsing the fruit before returning. In the bag, you take out a small pocket knife, cutting the skin and slicing it into pieces. He stares at it with wide eyes in awe, impressed by your cutting skills, even though it’s nowhere near astonishing.

You give him a piece, and he takes it, shoving it into his mouth and overwhelmed by the sweetness. “This is better than candy.”

“It’s more refreshing, isn’t it? I thought that since last time I brought you some unhealthy snacks, I’d give you healthier options. Well...that’s what I thought...but I couldn’t help but buy something else.”

You wipe your hands down on your jeans, but the stickiness from the fruit juice remains. You take out a can of soda, showing it to him, but leaving him confused. He creases his eyebrows, scratching his chin as if he’s trying to interpret what he’s looking at.

“...This is cola. You’ve had them before, right?”

He shakes his head. “I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never seen it.”

You open the can, the click of the carbonated fizz leaks out from inside. He’s so impressed by it, moving closer to the drink and smell the faint flavor of the cola.

You put it into his hand, and he hesitantly takes a sip. However, he gives a distasteful look, his face cringing from the strong fizziness of the drink. The face he makes makes it impossible for you not to laugh.

“It’s nasty…”

“I’m sure that if you keep drinking it, then you’ll love it for sure.”

He shakes his head, eating more peaches to get rid of the taste. Throughout the night, you show him the many different fruits, and he takes a bite with each one of them. No matter what it is, it will always astonish him, so keen to learn more.

Before you know it, hours have gone by, but it feels as though it’s only been minutes.

“How’s your head?” You ask.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore, but the doctor is always asking me if I remember anything,” he makes a raspberry noise with his lips, falling onto the pillow. “That’s all we talk about.”

“Well...do you remember anything?”

He looks around suspiciously as if he’s making sure that there’s nobody else in the room. He leans over as if he’s going to whisper a deep, dark secret. “Don’t tell anybody, but I do remember a few things.”

“You do?”

He nods. “I remember them in frames, like still pictures. It’s foggy, but there are parts that came back to me.”

“What do you remember?” You lean closer.

“There’s a lot of snow, and I was sitting on the ground. It was really...really cold. Also, everyone looked taller and angry.”

Although it’s great that he has some memories come back to him, they’re vague. His memory is no different than how some of the townspeople treat you.

“Anything else?”

“...Oh, yea. There’s also a large cave in the forest too. I went there a lot.”

The mention of a save makes you shudder, and that’s when a wave of memories return for you. You know exactly which cave he’s talking about...the one you and Annie went to. You hug yourself, trying to forget about it.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”

You blink profusely, nodding your head. “Y-yea...I’m fine. Taehyung, I have to ask you something.”

“Hm?”

“Did you...by any chance, ever run into a bear? Or a child? At the cave?”

He stares at the ceiling, shaking his head. “No.”

“...Do you even know about the Winter Bear story?”

He shakes his head again.

“...It’s...about a grizzly bear who’s the only bear in the entire world that doesn’t sleep during winter. Because of that, he gets lonely, so he kidnaps kids.”

Your knee begins shaking violently, motioning up and down at rapid speed. Taehyung’s eyes are fixated on your anxious knee.

“He...took my little sister a long time ago, and...it’s my fault. He...paid attention to me, and I liked it. And truth be told, I loathed my sister as much as I loved her.”

His eyebrows crease, not quite knowing what ‘loathed’ means.

“My parents, especially my mom, loved her to death. I still don’t know why. It might be because she was the baby of the family or if it’s ‘cause she resembles my mom a lot, but she was always favored. And imagine the horror that unfolded when they heard that their favorite child went missing and their least favorite child is to be blamed for.” You laugh at yourself.

You will never forget the look of terror on your mother’s face when you returned with your clothes torn and freezing. It wasn’t because of the state that you were in, but the fact that you returned without Annie. She immediately went around town, asking for help, and everybody searched to no avail. Your mother never directly stated that it was your fault, but the way she looked at you like she was going to throw up.

You so desperately wanted to apologize to her, but each time you tried it, she would change the subject. If you were insistent in talking about it, she would become violent. Items being thrown to the floor, her blood-curdling screams, those wide, gaping eyes glaring down at you like you’re vermin. It made you afraid of your own mother. That’s why you tried to bury your memories, and when you did, you either emotionally detached yourself or changed your thoughts to something else, just like how your mother did.

But every time you did think about your sister, you felt that immense guilt gulping you up. You would become manic—wanting to do anything possible to seek forgiveness. You would return to that fragile, little girl who wanted her mother’s love.

Taehyung searches through his pockets, giving you one of the candies that you gave to him. Some of the wrappers fall out of his pocket as well, but he ignores them. You raise an eyebrow, but he nudges for you to take it. It’s the watermelon flavor candy.

“The candies are so sweet there’s no room for bitterness. That’s what I learned after eating so much of it.”

You take it from his hand, unwrapping it and putting it in your mouth. And just like what he said, your tongue is overflowing with the sweet, sweet watermelon. When you look up at Taehyung’s face, making proper eye contact with him for the first time, you notice something odd. His expression is blank, but tears are falling.

You let out a single laughter. “Why are you the one crying?”

He didn’t need to say anything for you to know that he sympathizes, maybe even empathizes, with you. It always felt like when you said something, you got attacked in return. Whether it be Suniya nagging at you, Kim criticizing your rash behavior, those faceless comments on your article bashing you, or even your mother neglecting you when you tried mending the relationship, it felt like everything you did was a mistake. No one wanted to listen to you, and it made you scared to be honest.

He brushes your bangs away to get a better look at your face. Even though you barely know him, it feels like he’s been your longtime friend. Without thinking, you drop yourself onto him, hiding your face in his chest. You hold him tightly, silently crying on his shirt. He’s confused, as stiff as a rock. He slowly sets his hands on your back like an amateur hugger. But you’re no different either since you’re just as awkward as he is.

“I’m...sorry.” He apologizes.

You laugh through the sobs. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.”

He doesn’t reply.

You forgot how sticky your hands are—Taehyung’s lint gets stuck on the palm of your hands. You rarely talk about yourself, but with Taehyung, it feels oddly comfortable around him. Just the look of his eyes alone, you knew that he wasn’t going to judge you. You didn’t need to get defensive because you felt safe.

“Thanks for listening to me.”

———

You peek through the crack of the door, waving at him one more time before leaving. He waves back, mouthing the words, ‘please come back soon’. You nod, gently closing the door. You sigh, slightly embarrassed for breaking down earlier. It’s not every day that you have a heart-to-heart conversation with someone, so it was new. But you can’t hide that little smirk on your face, like some of that weight on yours has been alleviated.

“Seems like no matter how many times I tell you, you think you’re superior to me.”

Startled, you nearly scream when you cover your mouth. You spin around and meet eyes with the doctor who seems unsurprised that you’re here.

“Uhm...I can explain.”

“No need. I give up on trying to convince you.”

“...Really?”

“I don’t know what you want from that kid, but it doesn’t seem like it’s bad. Just don’t pick on him.”

“I’m not.”

“Even if I did tell you to stop, you’ll just continue breaking in late at night.” He walks off.

That felt...a bit too easy. You thought that he was going to put up more of a fight, but it might be because of old age or because of your stubbornness, he was quick to throw in the towel. However, you aren’t complaining about this and if anything, plays in your favor.

———

For the next few days, you have been visiting Taehyung. You two wouldn’t do much but talk, and these conversations would go on for hours. For once, it didn’t feel like your life was single-colored, and his liveliness was contagious. You found yourself laughing and smiling a lot more than usual. But it isn’t as if you two are doing anything spectacular, just talking.

There are traits of him that you’ve noticed. He has these moments where he’s easy to read, like a child, but there are other times when he’ll blank out and you have no idea what’s in his mind. He’s always curious about the world and whenever there’s something that he doesn’t know, he would ask you. He doesn’t ask the doctor and always goes to you first.

“Taehyung?” You peek through the doors.

No reply. Instead, you hear the shower going off in the bathroom, so he must be taking a shower. You thought about waiting in the lobby, not wanting to scare him when he’s out of the shower, but you also think it’s better to stay. Even though you and the doctor came to terms, it’s still uncomfortable being in the same room as him since he hasn’t let go of his distaste for city people yet. Despite treating you horribly, the doctor isn’t harsh with Taehyung. There are times when he loses patience with him, but never gets angry.

And speaking of Taehyung, you’re startled when you hear a thud in the bathroom. Alerted, you rush to the room, twisting the doorknob and seeing him on the ground, completely wet. You get down on your knees, placing your hands on his shoulders.

“Oh, (Y/N), you’re here.”

“Are you okay?! What were you trying to do?”

“I tried turning on the water faucet, but I couldn’t turn the handle. I think I put too much strength and slipped after it turned on.”

“You should’ve asked the doctor for help,” you brush his hair. “Geez, your bandages are wet.”

“I do ask him, but he always looks like he’s annoyed at me every time I ask. I don’t wanna bother him anymore, so I wanted to try and do it myself.”

You groan. That damn doctor, only thinking for himself. “Don’t force yourself to do things especially since you’re still recovering. You should be resting instead.”

“...I’ve always done things by myself,” Taehyung slumps his shoulders. “Whenever I asked someone, they would always get angry.”

“Says who?”

“...Says everyone.”

‘Everyone’? You don’t know anyone other than you, Sheriff Tusk, and the doctor who visits him. Margaret would ask about him from you every so often, but you aren’t sure if she comes by either. Whatever it is, it’s bothering Taehyung, so much so that he’s so gloomy.

“Hey, you can always rely on me.”

He stares at you with wide eyes, but then he looks away, defeating himself before he gets the chance to smile. “But...you aren’t here all the time.”

“Well...good point,” you contemplate. “It’s not always possible, but just call my name and I’ll come to the rescue.”

It’s unrealistic. Obviously, you’re no superhero who can pop up to save the world with a single cry of help. You don’t want to give him hope and be disappointed when you don’t fulfill it. You feel like a parent—giving shallow promises just to shove his worries away, but at the same time, you’re being genuine.

“It’s a small town. I’m sure I can hear your voice. Besides, you were in trouble and I came in time to save you,” you pat him on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s change your clothes.”

You grab him from under his arm, helping him get up. You walk with him to his bed. Once he sits down, you look through the cabinets for towels,  finding a white hand cloth folded on the third shelf. You go back to him, using the cloth to massage it over his wet hair, but not too aggressive to affect his injury. Whenever you wipe too hard, Taehyung’s face would scrunch up and he would put his hand on your wrist.

“(Y/N), do you have a family?”

“Hm? What’s this all of a sudden?”

“I’m just curious about you.”

“I do. I have a mom and a dad and...that’s it.”

“...Do you live with them?”

You shake your head. “I live alone.”

“Why?”

“It’s because...my parents and I don’t get along. After Annie went missing, my parents got divorced and I lived with my mom for a while. But I couldn’t stand living with her anymore so after I graduated high school, I moved out and lived on my own.”

“What does divorce mean?”

“You don’t know what it means?”

He shakes his head. “I heard people use it, but I never really knew what it meant.”

“It’s when a married couple doesn’t want to be together anymore and decides to separate.”

“Oh…”

“What about you? Do you remember your family?”

“A little bit. I don’t remember my dad, but I do remember some things about my mom. I think my mom left my dad when I was very young, so I lived with her. But we ran away from home and moved to a new place. I don’t know how she looks, but she always took care of me. And she always had bruises, too. But I don’t remember why.”

Your ears perk up when he brings up the notion of bruises. It definitely stands out. It makes you a little worried about what sort of environment Taehyung lived in prior to losing his memories.

“She also dressed differently from you. Actually...everyone from my memories doesn’t dress like you or the doctor or the policeman.” He tries to recollect his memories, but it only frustrates him more.

“Okay, okay. Don’t give yourself a headache. Take your time to remember everything.”

You continue to dry his head until you think it’s done. But just as you were about to leave, Taehyung places his hands on your waist to stop you from leaving.

Your cheeks turn red. “Tae-Taehyung? What are you doing?”

“Thank you…(Y/N), for visiting me all the time. Even though I’m a good-for-nothing, you keep me company.”

You scoff. “No one called you a good-for-nothing. And if anyone did, just ignore them.”

Without thinking, you pat him on the head, running your fingers through his damp hair. He peeks one eye out to look at your face, but when you two make eye contact, he quickly hides back into your stomach.

“You won’t leave me? I don’t have to be alone anymore, right?”

There’s no reason for him to question you, and you know full well that that can’t be the case. After all, you’re here for work, not to make friends. However, you can’t bring yourself to break his heart. The way his voice deepened, his tone sounding so...solemn. Like he experienced trauma that he never wants to go through again.

“I promise.”

And with that vow, he raises his head up, grinning from ear to ear. His eyes become smaller from how wide his smile is.

“I really like you, (Y/N), you know that?”

Your heart nearly skips a beat, then your ears turn red. You fan your face, telling yourself not to misread what he said. “Me too. I’m glad we’re friends.”

He raises his head up, a little upset. “That’s not what I mean.”

“What?”

“I mean…never mind.”

———

“Count very slowly to twenty, okay honey?”

A younger version of Taehyung nods his head.

“Close your eyes and cover them with your hands. Don’t peek because if you do, then you’re cheating. People don’t like cheaters.”

He nods again. “Are we playing hide and seek like the kids?”

In the middle of the forest, the woman has Taehyung stand against a dead tree. The woman cups his cheek with her icy hands, brushing his curly bangs back as she looks like she’s trying to fight the urge to cry. Her lips are curled inward, and she opens her mouth to speak. But finding difficulty in letting one word out, she lets out a shaky sigh, averting her eyes from Taehyung.

He can’t keep his eyes off of the purple and green bruises on her frail arms. His mother is so thin that she doesn’t have any fat in her. She doesn't even have muscles—she’s skin and bones. Her eyes look sunken, like her eyes are shrinking. However, Taehyung didn’t think too much about her mother’s malnourishment because his body looks just like hers.

“Y-yes. You know that I love you, right?”

He nods for the third time.

“O...okay...if you love me,  th-then close your eyes and don’t peek. And remember: you’re a strong bear—so strong that you can withstand the winter cold.”

He covers his eyes with his hands, counting from one. His mother waves her hand in front of him. When he doesn’t jolt from her hand, she takes this chance to flee. He keeps counting even after being the only one in the forest.

“Eight...nine...ten...elevephen...twelve...fo...four...four…? Fiveteen...si-six…” He loses count, though he thought it was strange that his mother made him count to twenty even though he can barely count to ten. “...Mom?”

———

“I came from Korea.”

In the room, the sheriff is keeping record as Taehyung continues.

“I think...my mom and I immigrated here a long, long time ago. She said that we had a better chance of living here than there.”

“By ‘long time ago,’ can you give me a specific time frame?”

“...I can’t. It was too long that I don’t know.” 

While he tries to recall his past, he looks out the window and notices you with Kim. Unlike the stoic faces he made, his eyes light up, losing interest on the sheriff and onto you. Tusk glances over to you, clearly sensing the light-hearted vibe coming from Taehyung.

He walks over to the window, raising his eyebrow. “You and that girl have gotten quite close.”

“I like it when she’s here.”

“Even though she’s the reason why you’re here in the first place?”

His smile disappears. The doctor and policeman are always dragging him down with pessimism, so he doesn’t like it when they talk to him.

“She did hurt me, but she’s trying her best to make it up. What she did is wrong, but I forgive her.”

But Sheriff Tusk doesn’t seem convinced. He sighs, closing his notepad. “Well, this is definitely a step forward. It looks like I’ll let (Y/N) off the hook, and I’m confident that you didn’t harm her either that night. If there’s anything else that comes up, then update me whenever you can.”

“Okay.”

———

You glance through Taehyung’s window, only able to see the top of his head. You aren’t sure what he’s doing, but you pray that he’s resting. You’re so distracted that you weren’t watching where you were going and nearly tripped over a rock hidden in the snow.

“Be careful!”

“I’m okay…”

“What were you looking at?” Kim looks up at the direction you were staring at, then she understands. “Is it Taehyung?”

You nod.

“You two became fast friends. I would’ve never thought that it’d be possible.”

“I guess it is.”

“What do you guys even talk about? You’ll go visit and be gone for hours.”

“Anything, but he likes talking about food mainly. Though, he likes almost everything that I bring in.” You smile unconsciously.

Seeing your cheeks turn red, that’s when it hits Kim. She smirks, elbowing you on the arm. “I get it.”

“What?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“H-huh? What? N...No! Not like that.”

Not this again. You already went through this with Margaret, and you don’t want another misconception...right? You’re actually embarrassed to hear that in contrast to how indifferent you were when Margaret brought it up.

This is the first for Kim to see you in this state. You always appeared calm and collected—making almost every decision without hesitation. Having your more vulnerable side present makes you seem more human.

“If you try to deny it in that tone, obviously I’m going  to assume the other way around! You two hit it off pretty well in the beginning…I mean...You two got along great. You were even begging to see him.”

“Th...that…!”

“Why are you getting so shy? You’re a grown woman, no need to hide how you feel. You act like this is your first crush.” She laughs.

But when you don’t laugh along with her, that’s when she knew that her joke was true.

“Wait...you’ve never liked someone before?! I don’t mean to judge but...of all your years, you’ve never once dated??? Not even had a crush on someone??”

“Yea, I’ve never liked anyone before, but why are you assuming that I like Taehyung…?”

“You make it more obvious than the sky being blue. I’m not gonna lie, Taehyung is pretty handsome. Maybe if he didn’t act childish then I would’ve probably liked him too.”

“It’s not that he’s childish...More like, he’s very curious. But as I  said, I don’t like him in that sort of way.”

“Mm-hmm, you can deny it all you want. It seems like Taehyung’s into you, too. Well...no doubt since you’re the only person to ever talk to him and is around his age.”

You like being around him, but you’re not sure if you like him in that sort of way. You two barely met a few weeks ago, so it’s too premature to be walking through romance territory. Despite it being a few weeks, it truly does feel like you two have known each other for a long time though.

“Well, don’t be in denial for too long. We don’t have much time here until the train comes back, and I don’t think you would want to leave with regrets.”

“I know.”

You don’t like thinking about that. It’ll dishearten him, as well as you, when the time comes. But eventually, you have to tell him that you’re going back home.

“...You said that you’d like him if he wasn’t childish...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why are you so curious? I meant what I said.”

“So you’re saying you have a chance with him?”

She’s confused, but it takes her a while before realizing your intentions. She elbows your ribcage, laughing. “You’re jealous!”

“I’m...I’m not! I’m just wondering…!”

Kim never realized how easy it is to read you at times. You and Kim continue your conversation until you two return to the inn. As you two walk off, Taehyung watches from his window.

———

“Who’s the lady with you?”

“Lady?”

You’re in the hospital room, peeling the skin of an apple with a knife. The snow has been getting heavier these days and it’s been like this for a while now. The sky has become cloudy, and there’s no sign of the sun anywhere.

“She was with you when you first came here, too.”

“Oh, Kim? We’re acquaintances. We barely know each other.”

“Really?”

“Yea.”

“Oh, okay. I thought you two were friends.”

“No, not really. She’s a nice woman though. Why do you ask?”

He keeps quiet, picking on his blanket as he sulks.

“I don’t have that many friends. The only other person that I talk to is my agent.”

His eyes widen.

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“I thought you didn’t have anybody…”

You aren’t sure where he’s going with this. You set the sliced apples down on a plate, giving one to him to which he takes.

“I know a lot of people. It’s a part of my job as a journalist.”

“Are you...close with any of them?”

You’re confused with why he’s interested in your personal relationships. That’s when you get the hint, making you smile. “I’m not close with any of them.”

He sighs in relief and you laugh. Surprised by your laughter, he becomes embarrassed. “Wh-what??”

“Are you trying to make me feel bad about not having that many friends?”

He seems confused, so you realized that your initial assumption was wrong. His cheeks turn red, pouting. “That’s not it.”

You tilt your head, confused.

“I thought you didn’t have any friends or close family, so I was surprised with how close you were with that lady.”

“I know a lot of people, but it doesn’t mean that I’m close with them,” after Taehyung finishes one apple slice, you give him another. “Every relationship that I have with someone is different from the other. Like you and Kim for example. Kim is like my current work partner, and you’re…like a friend.”

It’s unusual to call somebody your friend. It was so easy for you to push others away, but Taehyung is the first person that you want to be close with. There was something about him that attracted you—like a fly buzzing toward a light.

And like an attractive light, Taehyung’s smile is just as bright. “I’m glad that I’m your friend.”

“Yea...me too.”

You thought about what Kim said, about how you feel about Taehyung. Of course, he’s a joy to be around—that bubbly yet curious personality of his is hard to dislike. It’s the sort of trait you don’t see too often in adults, especially in the big city, so it’s a breath of fresh air.

You peer over at the window, and it doesn’t seem like the weather is going to calm down. If anything, it looks like it’s going to get worse overnight. It’s so bad that you can’t even see a few feet in front of you.

“Oh no, it looks like there’s going to be a blizzard.”

The inn isn’t that far, and if anything, it won’t be an issue crossing over. But that isn’t the problem. Just the thought of going through a blizzard makes you feel...uncomfortable. Unwanted emotions return, the kind that darkens your mind.

Taehyung can sense the tension, so he thinks of something to bring you back. “Will you be okay?”

“Yea...I think so.”

But he isn’t convinced. Your face says it all, and you don’t want to go out there. He contemplates, then a light bulb turns on when an idea sparks.

“How about you stay here for the night?”

“Huh? No, I’m fine. It’s just snow, and this is a place for patients. I don’t want to take up space.”

“No one comes here and it gets a little lonely at night. If you go out tonight, you might get sick, then you’ll have to stay here for sure.”

“What are the chances that I get sick? Besides, the doctor might not—”

“I don’t mind.” The doctor shouts from the lobby.

His voice catches you by surprise. You didn’t think he could hear you two talk, so now it makes you conscious about how much he’s eavesdropped. The walls truly are thin here.

“See? Stay here tonight.” He reaches over, grabbing your hand.

His thumb strokes your knuckles and he gives you puppy eyes. You can’t say no to him when he gives you that look. You cover your mouth, hiding your burning cheeks as well.

“Okay...I’ll sleep in the room next door. Do you know if the doctor has any spare toothbrushes?”

“Yes, I do.” He shouts from the lobby again.

You sigh, wondering how much he’ll keep listening. “Thanks…”

———

You and Taehyung are brushing your teeths in the same bathroom. While you’re looking at yourself in the mirror, Taehyung is fixated on you. He’s trying to copy how you brush your teeth. Whenever you brush your right teeth, he does the same. When you move to your left, he does that as well. When you spit out the foam, he does the same.

After washing your face, you head to your room, and Taehyung follows. You look behind, stopping, and he stops as well. He’s holding a pillow and blanket, giving you the hint that he wants to sleep with you.

“What are you doing?” Even though you know, you still want to ask.

“I want to go to the same room. I don’t like sleeping alone.”

“But isn’t your room fine as it is?”

“Yea but...it doesn’t have you in there.”

You blush. “But sleeping in the same room is…”

He tilts his head, puzzled. With that innocent look on his face, you don’t want to say any further.

“Anyway, we shouldn’t sleep in the room.”

“But we stay in the same room during the day, and for a long time too. What’s wrong about sleeping in the same room?”

“It’s just…”

You know that he won’t do anything to you, but just the thought of sleeping in the same room is a bit too much. You truly are immature—being a woman in her mid-twenties and is still conscious about sleeping in a room with a man, not even the same bed.

“Is it because there’s only bed? You can sleep there and I can sleep on the couch! If you don’t like that, then I can move my bed into your room and—”

“That’s not it. We’re just going to be next door, so if you ever need anything, then just knock.”

He looks disappointed, but he doesn’t push further. “Okay…”

“Then...good night.”

“Good night.”

You walk to the room, and you look behind one more time, waving. He smiles and waves back. It’s saddening to see him look forward to sleeping in the same room as you, but you don’t want to push boundaries. You keep telling yourself that this decision is for the better.

———

The children are having a snowball fight. Just on the outskirts of the small  town, the kids build fortresses out of snow, using it as a shield to avoid the offense team. They’re running around and laughing, thankful for it to be snowing so they can play.

But approaching them with small steps is Taehyung, still as a child, his hands clasped to his thin jacket. He’s shaking violently, his skin so pale and frozen cold. His hair is a mess, dirt marks smeared all over his skin. His bottom lip trembles and has turned blue, but he still smiles.

His stench can be smelled from the distance, disrupting their fun. The smell of sweat is Taehyung’s signature scent, like a foreboding sign that he’s drawing near. He’s gotten skinnier since the last time he came to Little Bare. Bags hide underneath his eyes, his round cheeks absent.

“It’s Taehyung. Run away!”

The children hide behind the fortresses, and this hurts Taehyung. However, he remains determined and keeps smiling. “Can...I play with you guys?”

But his request isn’t heard. The children are occupied with making snowballs, combining it with the rocks on the ground to create spiky snowballs. They make enough to form a pile. They start throwing them at Taehyung, and although the first few miss, some hit his body.

He raises his hands up, using his hands to block his face. He runs off, but right at the last moment, one child is able to nail a snowball perfectly at the back of his head. THACK! Only he heard the impact to his head. It was hard enough that he fell forward, his face landing first.

The children laugh. “Hurry! Run before the hungry boy eats us!!”

They skip away to their homes. He loses consciousness for a few seconds before groaning. His head pulsates, touching where it hurts but immediately pulls his hand away because of how painful it is. Underneath his breath, he calls for his mother. He calls for her many times, but no matter how many times, she doesn’t return to rescue him.

Still, he wants to believe that his mother will return. She’ll return to him to make him a warm meal under a roof. He’ll finally get to eat candy like the rest of the kids, and maybe, just maybe, the kids will let him play with them. But for now, he has to prove that he’s strong in hopes that his mother will want him back.

As he gets up, limping as his desire to conform with the kids slowly turns into disgust. The animosity grows as strong as the dizziness that blurs his vision. He limps for what felt like hours until he returns to his new home—a large, ominous cave. The mouth of the cave is dark and hollow, like it can suck anyone of any size in.

He leans on the rocky walls, scratching his arm while dragging his body deeper into the darkness. He places his hand on the wall, leaving bloody handprints and smearing them as he moves. He falters, landing face first, which worsens the damage to the head. He turns his head to the left, and there’s a mysterious marking of a grizzly bear with strange symbols around it. It’s been there ever since he found the cave.

His vision blackens as his eyelids become heavier. One tear drops from his eye, apologizing to his mother that he couldn’t be as strong as she hoped for. Within two weeks of her disappearance, he’s giving up. Fighting became a chore, and now sleeping seems like a better option.

And thus, he closes his eyes for good. And the last thing he thought of was a wish. A wish that he could’ve made at least one friend.

But before he does, the drawing of the grizzly bear on the wall begins to glow.

———-

Taehyung gasps for air, clawing at his throat. He felt pressure on his chest, and it was so clustered that he could’ve sworn that he stopped breathing. He sits up, not realizing that he had been crying in his sleep. Looking down at his pillow, there’s a large puddle of tears and on his eyes as well.

He brings his knees closer to him, covering his ears as he squeezes his eyes shut. Stop it. I don’t want them anymore, he repeats in his head. His memories are terrifying, as if every time he goes back in the past, all it ever becomes is jumping straight into a nightmare. Waking up from an unwanted dream makes this damp room seem scarier, like there’s no one to protect him.

“(Y/N)...” You’re the first person to come to mind. But when he calls for your name, you’re not there. He recalls that you’re sleeping in the room next door.

He gets out of bed, grabbing his pillow and blanket as he walks out of the room. He drags his feet to your room, knocking on the door.

“(Y/N)? Are you asleep?”

There’s no response. He looks at both ends of the hallway, paranoid that some evil ghost is going to appear in either direction. He clutches onto the pillow tighter.

“(Y/N)?”

The calm snow has turned into a blizzard again, and the gales whistle in the cracks of the windows. The wind shakes violently against the window, almost like a robber trying to break in. It scares him more, so he lowers his head, praying that you heard him.

“(Y/N)? Are you there?”

It reminds him of his childhood after his mother left. After wandering in the forest for a long time, he found a cave. While he was excited to live there, nighttime was never his favorite. The large opening left him vulnerable to wild animals to potentially attack him. And standing at the center of the hall reminds him of that, that exposure of his body to the cold world, his life taken away at any second.

“I’m scared...so please…”

The doorknob twists, startling him. He gasps, holding his breath in, but he lets it go when it was you that opened it. You’re rubbing your eyes, yawning. “Taehyung? What are you doing up so late?”

He hastily enters your room, closing the door for you. “Is it okay if I sleep here?”

You don’t make an immediate response, which scares him that you’ll decline.

“I had a nightmare.”

It might be because you’re half-asleep, but it doesn’t take that much persuasion to let him sleep. “Alright...but sleep on the couch.”

“Okay!” He takes baby steps to the couch, placing his pillow by the arm rest and lays down. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Sleep tight.” And just like that, you go to bed.

Taehyung watches you sleep, seeing as you’ve already knocked out within seconds. He tries to fall asleep as well, but no matter how many times he tosses and turns, he can’t sleep. He’s gotten comfortable being the person he is now, happy to be here and seeing you every day, not the depressed child who was abandoned by everyone.

Some time has gone by, and he still can’t sleep. He’s staring at the ceiling, listening to you breathe steadily. The nightmare he had is as vivid as ever, experiencing the phantom pain that came with the head injury.

“(Y/N)? Are you still awake?” Without a response, it tells Taehyung that you’re not.

He sits up, staring at you. He gives it a few seconds before getting out of bed. He stands over your bed before making the rash decision to sleep next to you.

He lays down, his face just mere inches away from yours. Despite being so close, he finds your face mesmerizing. He’s so close that he can feel your breathing.

Taehyung wanted to lay next to you just to see how it’s like to sleep next to someone. It’s so comforting knowing that there’s someone next to him, like the paranoia has been swept away. The longer he stares at you, the redder his face turns. Even though it’s the middle of winter, his face feels hot. He sees you every day, but he can’t understand why he’s nervous now.

He wants to move closer, but your hand is in between your and his face. Rather than move it away, he bites his bottom lip in contemplation. He’s already crossing the line, so he’s afraid that you’ll push him away if he tries too much.

He puts his hand over yours, intertwining his fingers. Your hands are smaller than he thought, his palm already engulfing it. Not only that, but your hand is so warm. Your fingers jolt, which nearly made him pull his hand away. But after that, you’re still. He sighs in relief.

Laying next to him is you, the person who’s taken care of him since the beginning. Judging on his fragmented memories, you’re the first person to ever fight to be with him. It doesn’t matter the reason, he’s just happy that someone thinks that he’s worth it. But at the same time, you’re the person who got him into this mess. You’re the one who threw that rock, just like the other kids. You made his head bleed like how they did. And yet…

He forgives you.

He gently presses his forehead against your forehead. He wished you could stay with him forever so that he can never experience abandonment again. Taehyung is afraid that you’ll end up being like his mother—crying for your name but you never coming to his rescue.

———

The blizzard has died down, and the blaring sun blinds your eyes. You flutter your eyes open, using your arm to cover them from the light. You sit up, exhaling as your vision adjusts to the morning rays.

“Good morning!” Taehyung exclaims as he opens the windows.

You had forgotten that he slept here last night. Even though it’s early in the morning, Taehyung is as energetic as usual.

“Did you sleep well?” You rub your eyes.

“Better than ever.”

You barely remember what happened last night. You know you got up to open the door, but after that, it was a blur. Taehyung also looks chirpier than usual, though you don’t know why. It could be because he got what he wanted and sleep in the same room as you. Whatever the reason, you’re glad that he’s smiling.

As you get out of bed and into the bathroom to wash up, he glances at you. His smile is gone, contemplating some thoughts in his head.

In the bathroom, you splash water in your face after brushing your teeth. You look at yourself in the mirror and massage your cheeks, feeling a little conscious about making weird faces in your sleep. You hope that you didn’t make any noises during the night either.

You walk out of the door, startled when Taehyung turns out to be just by the entrance. “Whoa! Sorry, did I almost hit you?”

But he ignores your question, folding his hands together. “(Y/N), I was just wondering...but you live in the city, right?”

“Yea, I do.”

“...When are you leaving?”

“Uhm...we’ve been here for a pretty long time now, so I think I have a few days until our train comes to pick us up.”

He looks pained just hearing that. “Then...if it’s okay with you, can I show you something before you leave? I think I finally know who I am, at least, the more important parts of myself.”

“This...came out of nowhere, but I’m glad you remember everything. What do you want to show me?”

“It’s...where I used to live. It’s not that far from here.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You live near here? Sure, I don’t mind, but are you even allowed to go out?”

“...Yea. The doctor gave me permission to leave. Is it possible to go later tonight?”

Tonight? You’re unsure about it. It’s too dangerous, especially if you two stray too far away from the town. “Can’t we go tomorrow morning? It’ll be too dark if we go later.”

“I know, but I’m afraid that if we wait in the morning, then i’m going to forget. Please! It sounds crazy...a-and stupid, but I don’t want to sit around and wait anymore. There’s...something I want to confirm with myself. My memories are jumbled up, and I feel like if I go as soon as possible, then everything will make sense. If not, then can we at least go when the sun’s setting?”

You’re still hesitant about it. But seeing the desperation in his eyes, it’s apparent that with or without you, he’s going to go on his own. The tale of the Winter Bear is real, and if Taehyung is taken by it, then it’ll be blood on your hands. If not that, then a coyote can eat him too.

It’s that feeling of responsibility coming back again. If you say no and he’s in danger, you have to live with guilt. You can’t bear to lose another person because of your selfishness.

“O...okay, I’ll go with you. But only in the condition that we go back as soon as you show me.”

“Thank you so much!”

Even though he seemed happy earlier, there’s an air of seriousness. You thought it was strange that he lives near here, and despite Little Bare being so small, no one knew he had been nearby all this time. Although he’s vague about it, it does make you curious about him.

———

“You’re going out again?” Kim crosses her arms.

While back in the inn, you’re putting on your coat. The whole day has already gone by, and you’re going to meet Taehyung just like you planned. However, Kim isn't impressed by it.

“Is he even allowed to go out? It doesn’t seem like he completely recovered.”

You shrug your shoulders. “Apparently, the doctor said that it was okay.”

However, Kim doesn’t seem to agree with your answer. She creases her eyebrows, putting her index finger to her chin as if thinking.

“What?”

“You know...you’ve been seeing him a lot lately. More than actually doing work.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for not helping. Is there anything specific you wanted me to do?”

“No...it’s okay. I already have a basis for my book. Besides, if this was to help you reconcile with your past, then it’s alright.”

“...I feel horrible, like I didn’t help at all.”

She shakes her head. “No, you did a lot more than you think.”

You crease your eyebrows, not entirely sure what she means by that. Regardless, you’re glad that you somehow helped her, though not sure with what and how.

“But...I’m really curious. What relationship do you have with Taehyung? I know you told me that you just met him, but to be frank, whenever I do see you two talk, it seems like you guys have known each other for years.”

You don’t respond. This should be an easy answer, yet, you struggle.

“Miss Suniya told me about you. Mind if we chat for a little bit before you go?”

“Sure...” You sit down on a chair, then Kim sits by the edge of the bed. “What did she say about me?”

“She told me that you have selective memory loss.”

You’re not surprised that Suniya told her about your condition.

“I’m sure there are things that you do and don’t remember about this place, which is why it probably wasn’t so hard to convince you to come with me. The reason why I never bothered you to help me with the book is because I wanted to give you the chance to regain the repressed memories naturally.”

You don’t know where she’s going with this. “...Why is it important that I remember?”

“Well, I...this...you…” she stumbles with her words. “I just want to tell you that you’re a really special person.”

“...Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t think you understand how hard it was to get into contact with you,” She steps closer. “Miss (Y/N), you’re the only person who’s ever seen the Winter Bear and survived. You’re the reason why I became intrigued with this myth in the first place, but those blockbuster people paid news outlets to get rid of articles written about you to sell this myth as a friendly story, so I hit a dead end until I read your article and knew that I found you.”

Things are beginning to click, but you don’t like where this is going. “This...isn’t only about the myth...is it?”

“Do you not realize how big this story is going to be when I write about your encounter with the bear?! People are gonna go crazy over it, then people won’t look down on me for studying mythology. So that’s why, Miss (Y/N), I want to know your relationship with that Taehyung person. My instincts tell me that there’s more to him than what meets the eye.”

“So...you’re doing all this to make money?”

“Why else are we here?” Kim crosses her arms. “Miss (Y/N), don’t pretend to be a hero when we both know that you tagged along for the money, too.”

“This doesn’t feel right...and what about Taehyung?”

The misery that you went through only to be exploited for money is one thing, but for her to use Taehyung, it’s a different story. You’re so infuriated with her that everything in your vision turns red. You thought about punching her, but you manage to control yourself.

Kim gets on her knees, right before your feet. “Who cares about what he thinks? Miss (Y/N), we are writers trying to survive, aren’t we? No matter how many people compliment our writing abilities, words aren’t going to put food on the plate.”

“Stop it…”

You have a flashback of being a kid again, but in the hospital, being checked for any injuries. You didn’t show any physical pain, your mentality however…

“No, I don’t want to…”

“I need you to go back in the past and try. It doesn’t hurt to remember Annie, right?”

The image of your mother crouching over a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries her heart out. You two are in the police station, waiting for any updates to Annie’s disappearance when a policeman broke the devastating news that they won’t continue the search.

“Don’t you want justice for your baby sister? So you need to come out and describe how the Winter Bear looks like.”

You cover your ears, fragments of your memories that you tried so hard to bury are returning to the surface. You remember the forest, knee-deep in the snow, meeting the friend you made during your stay here. You remember intertwining your pinky finger with your friend’s finger, promising that you’ll be friends forever. A childish vow that you wished you never committed. Because you also promised that friend that you’ll introduce Annie.

“So please, remember—”

“Stop it! I should’ve never come along with you!”

You get up from the chair, marching right for the door and slamming it behind you. Now standing on the other side of the door, you lean on it, rubbing your eyes as you grunt. You don’t want to remember; it’s better if they never come back. You like the way things are. You have nothing to worry about, you want to feel like there’s nothing to worry about. For now, you just want to see Taehyung.

———

At the front of the inn, Taehyung is already there, wearing a thick jacket but is still in his patient uniform. It’s already dark out, but you can see him clearly. When he sees you, he smiles and waves. However, you seem fazed with what Kim said. He’s quick to catch on to your discomfort, so he wraps his hands around yours. It catches you by surprise, but it goes away when he beams.

“How are you?”

“Great, how about you?”

“Good! It’s a lot colder than the last time I went outside.”

You chuckle. “Yea, you’ve been locked up in that hospital.”

“The hospital isn’t that bad. Anyway, are you ready?”

“Sure. How hard is it from here?”

“Not too far,” he takes you by the hand. “Come on, it’s already getting dark.”

He drags you to the direction of his supposed home. You look back at the inn, your senses finally returning and realizing that you’re really going to Taehyung’s residence late at night. You know you can trust him, but there’s something off about this that lingers in the back of your head. Yet, you don’t want to go back either, especially after hearing Kim’s real motive. You want to stay with Taehyung because you feel safer with him. Unlike many adults you’ve encountered, he’s transparent.

———

“Taehyung...are you sure you know where you’re going?”

As you two head deeper into the forest, the lights that came from the town disappear. You hold onto his hand tighter, fear crawling up your skin. It doesn’t help that it’s night either. In contrast to you, Taehyung is undisturbed.

“Yup, it’s beginning to look familiar.”

You regret choosing to go later in the day. If anything, you feel like a complete idiot for agreeing to go this late. It might be because you’re older and know the dangers of the world, but the woods seem far scarier compared to when you were a child.

“I don’t like this…! Let’s go back.”

After saying that, you hear a branch crack and it startles you. You let out a yelp, instinctively grabbing onto Taehyung’s arm. It doesn’t frighten him, so he’s clueless about why you’re afraid.

“If you’re scared, then hold on to me.”

Now conscious about your actions, you pull away, your cheeks flush with red. However, Taehyung doesn’t give you a chance to reconsider and drags you back into his arms. He wraps around your shoulders, squeezing you closer to his chest as he gives you a cheeky smile. You avert your eyes, sulking, but he’s not wrong about you being scared. You hold onto his shirt as you two continue walking.

To distract you from your fears, he changes the topic. “What kind of house do you live in?”

“Mine? Hm...well...it’s nothing fantastic. I live in a one-bedroom apartment.”

“That’s it?”

You nod. “It’s probably a little bigger than your private room back at the clinic.”

“Really?!”

“It’s small but so expensive...How about your home? I never got to ask if you live with anyone.” Though, judging by how no one that he knew came by to pick him up, he most likely lives alone.

“I live alone...and my home...is a little different from a normal home. It is big though.”

“Oh really? That must be cool. And to have it all for yourself too.”

“It was, and I thought it was cool because of how roomy it was...but it didn’t take for me to dislike it.”

“Oh...I’m surprised nobody has ever mentioned that you lived nearby...But speaking of your home, I was wondering, how long have you been living here?”

“Ever since I was a kid.”

“Really? And you’ve never ran into the Winter Bear?”

He shakes his head. “I rarely see bears in general.”

You thought it was strange how he’s lived here since he was a child and yet, he has never been kidnapped. If he’s lived here since he was young, then he would’ve been long gone.

“...My mother always told me that I’ll grow up to be strong. She said that I’ll be so strong that I won’t need to sleep like a bear who hibernates. And I believed her.”

Your ears perk up, listening to him attentively. You recall when Margaret that bears technically don’t hibernate.

“But a part of me thinks that it was mental training to prepare for when she abandoned me.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“That’s when I found a home to live. It was hard living by myself. Kids from Little Bare made fun of me for being a dirty boy and threw rocks at me until I ran away.”

“What are you talking about…? Little Bare doesn’t have any kids…”

“I hated living alone because it was scary, and all I wanted was a friend, or anybody who was willing to keep me company.”

What he’s saying is beginning to sound suspicious. You slowly pull yourself away from him, and it doesn’t seem like he minds.

“You know...travelling through my memories...I’ve always seen snow. Little Bare is always snowing no matter what year it is.”

“Taehyung...Little Bare doesn’t snow all the time. You know that...right?”

“Yea...so I wonder how the other seasons look like. It’s been so long. I learned that snow soaks in all sounds, which is why it’s always quiet during winter. I hate the silence more than anything. I want to know how it’s like to live where it’s filled with laughter.”

Taehyung draws near to his home, which is located in the middle of the forest. Horror slowly seeps under your skin when you start noticing how...familiar this place is. It was difficult to see the resemblance because of how dark it is, but once your eyes adjust to it, it looks as clear as your memories.

“So...it’s a little disheartening to hear that you’re leaving soon, (Y/N). I was hoping you could be here longer.”

You know this place all too well. Your legs begin to tremble, mortified that you have returned to the place that you desperately tried to keep buried in your subconscious. Standing before you is a large cave, towering over you and Taehyung. It’s like a gaping mouth ready to swallow anyone that comes in.

You fall backward, your hands buried in the freezing snow. You can’t get your eyes off of the cave as you hear haunting cries of children’s souls trickling from the depths of the hellhole; one of them sounds exactly like Annie.

Taehyung sees the pure terror in your eyes, crouching over as he tries to help you up. However, when he reaches his hand out, you finally remember exactly who Taehyung is. It makes sense why it was so easy for you to get along with him and why it felt like you’ve known him for so long. Back when you were six years old, this very person is the cursed Winter Bear—the monster who took Annie away.

You swipe his hand away, so shaken that no words are expressed. Your breathing becomes unstable, panic sets in, and your mind goes all sorts of directions. You think about one thing, but your mind heads the other way. You see Taehyung’s mouth moving, but you can’t hear it, only muffles. You can only hear a static ring fly across your ears. Even in the freezing temperatures, you’re sweating bullets.

“(Y/N)...I—”

“S-STAY AWAY!” You crawl backward, swinging your hand side to side to defend yourself from him.

It’s that innocent look in his eyes again that you vividly recall. He was able to transform into a bear and a kid, but when you first met him, he was a child just like you who found you playing in the snow by yourself. He lured you in with fictional affection, promising that he’ll never let you be neglected. It was all a ruse to lock you in that cave, just like the hundreds of souls in there, including your little sister’s.

He looks hurt, but he understands. Right as your memories are coming back to you, it’s returning to him as well. The screams of his victims, the scared look on their faces as they try to escape, and his vicious obsession of chasing after them. He pulls his hand back, knowing full well the crime that he committed twenty years ago. Just one glance at you and he knew that you won’t forgive him. So when you fled, he didn’t bother to chase after you.

All you hear from behind is the aching cries of a young man.

———

Keep running.

Don’t look back.

Focus in front of you.

You run through the forest without a light source. You don’t even know if it’s the right direction back to town, but anywhere is better than there. It was just like that time when you narrowly escaped Taehyung’s grasps. He was so occupied with your sister that he lost sight of you. Just like history repeating itself, you barely escaped his grasp.

You hate yourself for falling into his trap for a second time. Like a pied piper luring children, it was like his curse never uplifted. No wonder it didn’t take a lot for you to turn down the chance to come back to the town. You never learned from your mistakes, and that’s because you kept running away. You ran away so often that you even forgot his face.

Tears blur your vision, so you use your forearm to wipe them away. Despite the revelation, the resurgence of painful reminices, you feel awful for running away from Taehyung. You can’t forget the times spent with him, sharing personal stories of yourself and vice versa, and your friendship deepening. You promised him that he can rely on you, but you already broke it. But...how do you keep a promise with the monster who not only took your sister, but also took away your childhood?

You’re so focused on wiping the tears away that you bumped into someone and fell down. You scream in terror, kicking your feet as you try to get up.

“Hey! (Y/N), calm down!”

The person tries to grab your flailing legs, but you only kick harder. “STOP IT! LET GO! HELP!”

“(Y/N), (Y/N), it’s me! It’s me, relax!!” You feel two hands cupping your cheeks so you can look at the person. “It’s me, Suniya.”

You stop panicking. But your mind feels foggy, and for a moment, you’ve forgotten where you’re at.

“We work together. You’re a journalist, and I’m your agent. You’re twenty-six years old and live in the city. You graduated from the University of Redlands, and you’re the daughter of two parents who live miles away from you. You came here with a researcher to study the town called Little Bare. I came here because I was worried since I couldn’t contact you, then Miss Kim led me here.”

Your breathing becomes steady, regaining control of your unstable mind. It all comes back to you, and now that you got the chance to process what’s happened, your body becomes weak. The only thing you want to do now is cry. You hold onto Suniya, burying your face in her arms as you wail like a child.

Suniya is in shock, never seeing you cry this much before. She knew how much the Winter Bear affected you, but not to this extent, and it breaks her heart. She hugs you back, tears streaming down from her eyes as well.

“Suniya...I...lied. I lied to him again. I ran away. I got scared...I-I couldn’t think...then I left him there...An-Annie...I heard her cry. She was crying so much…”

“It’s okay...you’re safe. Don’t cry.” She hushes you.

She rocks you back and forth as you continue to sob. Your sentences are everywhere, but to question you in this state isn’t going to help. For now, what you need is to hide in somebody else’s arms until you’re okay.

———

“I shouldn’t never fucking agreed to this!” Suniya shouts.

In the room that you stayed in, Suniya is arguing with Kim. You’re sitting in the fetal position in the halls, your back against the wall. Even though the doors are closed, you can hear Yesosang’s voice as clear as day.

It’s the next morning, and you couldn’t sleep a wink. You and Suniya stayed in another room from the inn, not letting Kim know that you returned. The moment the sun rose, Suniya went straight to Kim’s room and has been arguing with her since.

“I thought I had to worry about you because (Y/N) can be a handful but...it was her that I should’ve been more concerned about. You're an absolute scum.”

“Please, try to understand from my viewpoint. Miss (Y/N)’s story needs to be heard—”

“‘Heard’? You mean use?! You don’t give a fuck about what she went through. I should’ve known better and not leave her in the hands of a stranger.”

“You didn’t need to word it that way. I was just trying to help her. I feel like, as a scholar in pursuit of knowledge, she has every right to remember every second of her memories.”

“Oh, don’t give me that scholar bullshit!! You’re no different than those Hollywood people exploited this damn town for money, and you’re not even different from us who are trying to live each day trying to make money. (Y/N)’s repressed memory is not your textbook!”

You can’t handle all this shouting anymore. You’re upset with yourself to make Suniya come all the way here, wasting her family time just to find you. Even though she blames Kim, you feel accountable for agreeing to go on this trip. Suniya can blame your mental instability all she wants, you’re still an adult, and you still said yes.

You wonder what Taehyung’s doing right now. Hopefully, he isn’t cold.

“We’re leaving tonight. You can stay stranded here for all I care. When we get back, we’re going to make sure that every publication doesn’t want to work with you,” Suniya stomps out of the room, taking you by the hand and dragging you with her. “Let’s go, (Y/N).”

As you two walk down the halls, she can sense the immense amount of guilt you’re carrying. She knows you’re blaming yourself, so she slows down and holds both of your hands.

“It’s not your fault, so stop worrying.”

You want to stop, but the guilt won’t leave. Once again, it’s suffocating thinking about what you could’ve done to prevent this from happening.

———

Outside, a gust of wind nearly blows Suniya off of her feet. She was only able to keep still because she was holding onto you. “Holy shit, is the weather always this bad??”

“It became like this recently.”

“Ugh…if this continues, then we might not be able to leave. Sorry, (Y/N).”

“It’s fine.”

Just as you two were returning to the inn, Magaret chases after you two. “Hold up just a minute! (Y/N), can I have a word with you?”

“Who are you?”

“It’s okay, Suniya. Margaret’s been taking care of me.”

She hugs you, almost making you break your back. “Oh dear god, I’m glad you’re alright. I heard that you went off into the forest with that young man. He didn’t touch you, did he?”

You shake your head.

“Thank god. Sheriff Tusk is currently looking for him and will make sure that his ass goes to prison.”

“Wait, what?”

“You can never fully trust men. They’re deceitful and only strive for one thing, and that’s—”

“Is there something important you wanted to say to (Y/N)? We’re in a bit of a hurry to leave.” Suniya saw how disturbed you became when she mentioned Taehyung.

Margaret scoffs. “In this weather? Lady, you’re gonna die if you go today.”

“Why?”

“It’s gonna be ‘nother blizzard happenin’ tonight, and it’s crazier than it’s ever been before. You outta stay one more night.”

But Suniya doesn’t have the patience to deal with another person. “Look, I know you guys don’t have that many outsiders, but I know when locals are trying to make tourists cough out as much money as possible. We’ll be taking our leave.”

What Margaret said about Sheriff Tusk going out to look for Taehyung, so it worries you that he’ll get in trouble. But knowing how quickly Suniya wants to leave this place, she won’t want to stay.

“Wait...I think you should listen to her…”

“You too??”

“The weather here can be pretty bad. We should stay one more night.”

“...Will you be fine…?”

You nod. “I’m not a kid.”

But she seems hesitant, but seeing as the weather is getting worse, it might be for the best. Besides, you’ve been here longer than she has, so she has no choice but to abide by your request. “Okay…”

Margaret’s eyes haven’t left you, clearly showing how worried she is for you. However, she doesn’t say anything as she knows you might want to brush it off. “Yea...it might be for the better.”

———

Later that night in the inn, you’re laying in bed while Suniya is taking a shower. And just like what Margaret said, the town is going through yet another blizzard. This time, it’s heavier compared to the first one. You’re still thinking about everything that happened the night before. You don’t know how you were unable to recognize Taehyung since the beginning.

Did you really repress your memories that much that you forgot his face? The cries from the children’s souls are still imprinted in your mind. Perhaps in the back of your head, you had a hutch that it was him, but his purity made you doubt yourself. Maybe you were keen on going back to him to confirm that it isn’t him from twenty years ago that you ignored the red flags.

Despite the tragedy that he caused in your family, you can’t forget the times spent together. Exposed to the reality of the world made you disregard that there are kind people like Taehyung. He’s caring...but you keep going back to when he lured you and Annie to his cave. It’s conflicting, like two sides of him that you know are real, yet they challenge one another. On one side, he’s your antagonist, but on the other side, he’s like a savior.

There’s a knocking at the door, alerting you. You get up, wondering if you should open it, but seeing as the knocking won’t stop, you get out of bed and open it. On the other side is Kim.

“Hi, Miss—” You nearly slam the door in her face, but she put her weight on the door just in time. “P-please, just give me a minute to explain! I just want to apologize for my selfishness!! I should’ve known better than to take advantage of your trauma.”

You take a second to rethink before opening it for her. You glance at the bathroom, hearing the showerhead still going off.

“You have until Suniya finishes showering to tell me.”

“Thank you…uhm...Again, I’m sorry...I was caught up with my own goals that I lost myself for a second. But...there are a few things that I’ve been doing way before I met you…” she shows you a vanilla folder in her arms. “Here’s some information that I’ve gathered from the town’s archives. It was not an easy task to obtain, so please take good care of them.”

 She passes the folder to you. When you open it, it’s filled with records that look so old that it’ll crumble at any second. Some of these papers feel like it’s decades old too.

“What’s this?”

“My research. I hope this is enough for you to forgive me...I think it’ll really help you with figuring out who Taehyung is and what this curse is.”

And just like that, Kim leaves. You close the door and set the folder down on the desk, spreading every individual paper out for you to read. Some of them are extremely old—going as far as the late 1800’s. The papers on top of the stack are about every recorded disappearance in Little Bare, even some that came after Annie’s. In total, there are a little under sixty child disappearances. As you go through each article, from most recent to oldest, you notice that at some point, the Winter Bear lore became big in the news in the 1950s when a wealthy child went missing. There was even an attempt to make a film out of it but was cancelled due to how controversial it was. To some extent, there was a children’s book in the 1940s about the bear as well.

But as you go back in time, there tends to be less coverage in the early 1900s, most likely due to new coverage of the two World Wars being more favored. A majority of its timeline has been skipped over, and now you’re in the 1880s with newspapers with titles like Exclusive!! Small Town Cursed with Black Magic or Real-Life Witch Doctor Lives!! Cave is an Accessway to Hell. The columns come with pictures of supposed real cave drawings, all are shapes resembling animals, some are birds, dogs, fish, and...bears. There are outrageous claims that the one responsible for those drawings used their blood.

However, as you skim through the articles, it explains what the purpose of those drawings are. Each one resembles the strength of each animal, bird = flight, fish = underwater breathing, etc. There are also theories that the etchings give the holder the ability to shapeshift, though it’s limited. In the third and last article, the title says, Breaking News: Immortality Exists...Or Does It?

Once you go through the papers, you make it to the last few papers. It’s been clipped together with a paperclip, and it’s a record of residences who previously lived in Little Bare. As you flip through them, some pages stick out to you. Some names in each year are highlighted with yellow, and it doesn’t take long for you to learn the pattern. Every name that Kim has colored in are Korean immigrants, and, in particular, there’s a large spike in Korean names in the 1910 records. In that exact, there’s only one name that has been highlighted and circled.

The name is Kim Taehyung.

After 1910, the Korean population here decreased significantly, to where there were no more. And the paper at the bottom of the stack is a black-and-white copy of a photograph with all the Korean immigrants that moved into Little Bare in that year. One there’s a pair that stands out to you. It’s a younger version of Taehyung smiling, and standing behind him is a woman, presumably his mother.

That’s when everything clicked for you. And in that moment, you take the picture from the folder, put on your boots and scarf, and take your thick coat before running out through the doors. You can’t wait for this blizzard to die down, and you have a feeling that it won’t if you don’t go now.

But you stop in your tracks, returning to the room, almost forgetting something. You look through the drawers to grab something small before putting it in your pocket before dashing back out.

———

The blizzard is more intense than ever before, even to the point to where you can barely see anything. Even opening your eyes wider already feels like they’ll freeze. You trek onward to the cave, praying that he’s still there. You’re fully aware at how ridiculous and idiotic this is, like you could’ve waited until it calmed down. But deep down, you know it won’t die down until you find him.

Thankfully, you made it to the cave without any problems. You pick up the pace as you enter the cave, shivering almost to death. Even with multiple layers of clothes, you’re freezing to the point where you can’t feel your feet. In front of you is the black hole that belongs to the cave. The cries of the childrens that Taehyung has taken lurks on the other side. You gulp, clenching your fists to stop them from trembling. You look over your shoulder at the blizzard. You can’t turn back now, so you have to push forward.

You turn on the flashlight on your phone and continue walking. The deeper you went, the louder the cries became. The walls start closing in, and on there are also the same animal drawings from the newspapers. The sound of water droplets complements the hollow cries. It’s getting so loud that it’s beginning to unnerve you. You want to cover your ears, but even if you do, the dreadful cries won’t leave.

But you know that the kids are trying to warn you to leave. They don’t want you to make the same mistakes they made. They’re children—pure souls who lost their young lives. They don't have any intentions to play tricks on you, so that’s why you have to keep pushing through because you have unfinished business.

“(Y/N)...” A young girl’s voice calls out from behind.

Even though you haven’t heard that voice in years, you know exactly who it is. Turning your head around, an apparition of Annie forms. There she is—in her blue-and-white striped dress and pink jacket with the brown boots. She hasn’t aged a bit, but she’s crying.

“Don’t go. Go back home where you have a warm house and people who care about you.” Annie whimpers.

Hearing her speak weighs heavily on your chest. You can’t hold back the tears, so you let it out.

She extends her hand out. “If you don’t hurry, then you’ll freeze to death here.”

Your knees almost gave in, nearly making you fall. Even though you know full well that she can’t be alive, a part of you feels relieved to see her again. It may not even be her, just a recreation that Taehyung made. She has to be his recreation because a two-year-old wouldn’t know to say this.

You approach her spirit, crouching down to her level. You wipe your eyes, exhaling while you smile. “Hi Annie, thanks for warning me. You’re just trying to look out for your older sister, aren’t you?”

She continues to cry, nodding her head.

“It’s okay, you can trust me now. Your big sister is now a grown up. I’m just going to talk to our friend.”

“But! That’s not a friend! He’s a monster who’s done bad things. It’s his fault that I died and that Mom and Dad hates you. He’s made you miserable. He’s the problem!” She cries even louder.

You tilt your head, your grin not once leaving. “I know, but sometimes people do things because they’ve been wronged, too. They won’t know that they’re doing something bad until they learn the good in the world. Our friend was just lonely because he left his homeland, then his parents left him, and no one wanted to be his friend.”

Annie finally stops crying.

“So when he finally made a friend, he wanted it to last forever. That’s why he took their souls. It didn’t help when he had more bad luck and became immortal and has supernatural powers. I just know that deep down, he’s a good person who’s been on the wrong path for a very long time. Right...Taehyung?”

You stand up, turning around after the spirit of your sister disappears. The cries from the children dissipate, and the only one left crying is Taehyung. You approach him slowly, and as you get closer, you can hear him repeatedly mumbling, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ under his breath.

“Am I right, Taehyung? It just got out of hand, and your fear took over you.”

“...I hate opening my eyes to this empty cave. Because I know that whenever I went to town, everyone else would have friends or families to return to when I had nobody. And I never asked to be cursed to live forever either! Why couldn’t I have died a long time ago?!”

He continues to wallow in his own misery.

“And it’s worse when I’m only awake during winter. I don’t even remember what spring, summer, or fall looks like...”

A bear who doesn’t sleep during winter isn’t strong, but a lonely animal because he’ll be the only one awake. Taehyung may be able to live for a long time, but in exchange, he has to hibernate for nine months because the curse is too strong to hold.

“I don’t want to be attached to you. I’m afraid that I’ll try to take you away, but I’m also scared that I’ll never see you again. (Y/N), you’re the only person who’s ever showed me kindness after a hundred years...and I’m afraid that I’ll never experience that again. So please...leave me when you still have the chance. You have a life out there.”

“You don’t have to stay here! You can live with me and—”

“You think I haven’t tried leaving? I’ve tried leaving so many times, but each time I try, I feel like I’m on a leash. The further I go, the more suffocating it gets. An invisible rope is around my neck, but I don’t die. You don’t understand...I’m stuck here forever.”

You don’t want to think about the many attempts he’s tried to end his life. You can’t imagine how you’ll turn out if you were stuck in his position. You’ll probably become insane like him, too. Waking up to the same snowy setting with no one to be there for you. After all, the color white can make people go insane if you see it too much.

You tighten your fists. “Then...then I’ll stay.”

“What?!”

“Let the children’s spirits free and I can stay with you.”

But he shakes his head. “No...don’t give me hope. Just go! Don’t waste yourself with me.”

“No, you listen to me. I’m willing to do it.”

“But...why?! I’ve made your life horrible, and I selfishly took your sister away. I’m the cause of all your problems! I don’t deserve anything from you.”

The pressure of the lives he’s taken away is beginning to weigh down on him, and it’s so much that he can’t handle it. It’s a complicated conflict where he took away so many loved ones from their family, including Annie, but the world was so unfair to him before he fell under this cave’s curse. He didn’t kill because he enjoyed it, but because he didn’t know how to handle his emotions and ended up releasing it in a way he never consciously meant to happen. No matter how hard you try to forget what he’s done, it’ll never leave. It’s engraved into your memory regardless of how much you’ve tried to repress it. You can’t forget but…

You scour through your pocket, showing him the watermelon-flavored candy. He’s confused, but in exchange, you beam. “This is my favorite flavor, and it’s yours too, isn’t it?”

You unwrap it, giving the candy to him. When he doesn’t accept it, you nudge it to him, then he hesitantly takes it.

“Eat it and let the bitterness go away.”

He stares at it, unsure of what your intentions are.

“Almost every kid loves candy, and it’s because of how sweet it is. It’s so sugary that it distracts them from their sorrow. But...it’s also special because of how short-lived the candy is. At some point, it’ll melt in your mouth, and then you’ll want another one, and you can’t keep eating it, otherwise your teeth will rot.”

He clenches it in his fist. “...Why are you going so far for me?”

“Because I like you.”

His eyes widen, almost as if he’s never heard of from somebody else. He thought he heard you wrong. Taehyung is so starstruck.

“I know I can never forget what you’ve done to Annie and what happened after...and honestly...I’m still conflicted. But after getting to know you, I realized that you’re a victim like anybody else. You can’t bring back the kids, but what you can do is learn from your mistakes. So...let the kids go and promise to never take another person’s life.”

You kiss him on the forehead for good luck. After pulling yourself back, but while you were caught off-guard, he leans over to give you a peck on the lips. He feels your chapped lips, which you find embarrassing, but doesn’t matter to him—only that his feelings have also been conveyed to you too.

He pulls back, too timid to look at you in the eyes. “I don’t want to disappoint you, so I vow to never take another person’s life, not even yours.”

“What…? T-Tae…”

“Like what you said, I can’t always be looking for ways to be in an infinite paradise. It’ll just leave me miserable, and I don’t want that to happen to you. What we had was special, and I’ll never forget it. So...it’s okay, you can go.”

From behind, you can hear children laughing. Small hands reach over, grabbing you by your jacket and dragging you away from him.

“Wa-wait, Taehyung! What are you doing?!”

He watches as you try to fight the children’s grasp, knowing full well that if they weren’t there to help him, then you wouldn’t leave. You have a feeling that this will be the last time you’ll see him, so you become choked up in your tears.

“No, don’t do this!”

But he doesn’t respond, afraid that if he says something, he’ll break down.

“Taehyung, I promise I’ll be back! I won’t leave you again! When you open your eyes for winter to come again, then I’ll be there to wake you up. And...even if I’m long gone, then I’ll make sure that you’ll never, ever, have to be alone,” You reach your hand out, extending your pinkie. “I promise.”

With one last look in your eyes, he saw hope. Over a hundred years later, he saw light at the end of the cave, that maybe one day, the curse that had been laid upon him will become a blessing. Maybe this time, he can see someone precious again without taking their life. Even if you don’t fulfill your side to the promise, just the facade of hope is enough to make him look forward to next winter.

Within a blink of an eye, he reaches over and wraps his pinky around yours. He’s so thankful that he’s crying uncontrollably.

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

And with one swift move, the children’s spirits pull you out of the cave, separating you from him. Before you close your eyes, you could’ve sworn that you saw Taehyung in his child form, eating the candy that you gave him.

———

You regain consciousness after feeling someone shaking your shoulders. The first person you see is Suniya, bawling like a baby. When you opened your eyes, she froze, not sure about what to do next.

“Sun...Suniya?”

“Oh, thank god!” She hugs you tightly. “I was so scared that we lost you.”

You’re still in the woods. Though, the snow is beginning to melt and the sun is blaring down on your face. You look around to find all the townspeople surrounding you, including Kim.

“Jesus Christ, you gave all of us a fright, girl.” Margaret wipes her tears with her sleeve. “Goin’ out during the middle of a brutal blizzard. Are you insane?”

You look down at your hands, and they’re not trembling anymore. “I guess I am.”

It felt like a dream. In fact, every second you spent with Taehyung felt like a dream because of how fast time flew by. What you experienced in the cave, you don’t know if it actually happened.

You turn around, seeing that the cave is hollow. It’s a lot smaller than what you last remembered. The entrance is like a black hole, but it isn’t empty. But what’s better is that you don’t hear children crying anymore. You look back at the crowd, glancing at Kim who’s crossing her arms. One look and she knew that you overcame your trauma.

Suniya helps you up, putting your arm around her neck. Though your body is fine, your muscles feel weak.

“Come on, let’s go back and get you warmed up.”

“What the hell were you doin’ here, by the way?” Margaret asks.

“There’s just something that I needed to do...and I’m not done with it yet.”

[The End]

———

EPILOGUE

“Alright, next, I’m going to teach you how to make a campfire.”

You are standing in a circle around a bunch of kids. They’re wearing thick jackets with badges on them and have dark green hats with the symbol of a brown bear over a snowflake over them. They’re hugging their arms, shivering to the old.

“Do we have to make one now?”

“It’s too cold to do anything, Miss.”

“Can’t we just learn it back at the cabin?”

You shake your head. “The whole reason to make a campfire is to build it outside. Not only is the fire meant to keep you warm, but it also helps cook food and used as a light source.”

You grab some branches from the ground, wiping the snow off of it.

“You see how wet it is? It won’t make a good fire. It’s going to be difficult, but you need to find dry wood like this.”

You compare and contrast between the two, kicking snow off of the ground until you see dirt. You place the wood, taking out two rocks and creating friction to spark them. And just like that, you’re able to create fire. The kids stand around your campfire, awing at it as the flames rise.

However...the flames go out within seconds. “Oh…”

The children laugh. “What was that?”

“That was terrible!”

“Hold on, just give me one second…” You grab the wood to make a second attempt. “I swear it worked the first time.”

“Miss (Y/N), why are we camping during winter? Doesn’t girl scout camps happen during summer?”

“Yea! All my friends go during summer. My parents kept saying that this camp saves more money...but it’s unfair.”

“Well...let me tell you something. They can teach you all the methods of surviving during the summer, but almost every tip is thrown out the window when it’s snowing. I have a friend who used to be your age and didn’t know how to survive on his own in the winter. His mother abandoned him a long time ago and no one wanted to take care of him. So he was on his own.”

This gathers the attention of all the girls, so they surround you as you continue the story.

“He was starving and cold because he didn’t know the basics of survival, like making a campfire. He didn’t know how to fish nor did he know how to build a tent.”

“I hope she went to jail for abandoning her own child.”

“Why would his mother leave him?? That’s so messed up.”

“Sometimes, it’s not because they want to, but because they can’t. We’ll never fully know why she left him, but I think she did love him.”

“What? I think she hated him.”

“Because before she left him, she told him that he’s a strong boy. Maybe she left him because she knew that he'd survive. Of course, this is by no means a good method of parenting, but she had faith in her own son that he’ll make it through the winter.”

“I don’t think she cared about him,” one of the girl scouts crosses her arms. “Couldn’t he go to the police for help? They’re always there to help him find his home!”

“Yea, but it wasn’t that simple. You see, he was considered as...different, I guess you could say. People many years ago thought completely opposite from us, so no one wanted to help him.”

“Is he still alive?”

You fall silent, and this builds anticipation for your response. They draw closer to you, unable to handle the suspense.

“He’s still alive.”

They sigh in relief.

“Do you girls want to meet him?”

“Wait, can we??”

You nod. “He’s a little shy at first, but he’s super friendly.”

“How does he look like??”

“Hmm...he’s super tall,” you raise your arms up in the air. “And he has broad shoulders. His hair is so curly that it almost looks like cotton candy. He also has a mole under his nose and the most charming smile anybody has ever seen.”

You stare at the sky with dreamy eyes, and that’s when the girls understood the subtle hints. They elbow each other, giggling and covering their mouths.

But you’re clueless. “What’s so funny?”

“Do you have a crush on him, Miss (Y/N)?”

Your cheeks turn red, and they squeal with excitement. You press your knuckles on your lips as you become more flustered.

“Keep it a secret, but he’s my boyfriend.”

They scream, stunned that their leader has someone in her heart. You shush them, worried that their voices would disrupt the town’s peace.

“Di-did you guys do things...like kissing??” One girl whispers.

You nod, and they hide their screams behind their covered mouths. Then, you rub your stomach, feeling a lump. “Pretty soon, we’re gonna be a family.”

The girls have no idea what you meant, but they’re not at the age to learn about that yet.

“He’s the most important person in the entire world to me. He sleeps a lot, so I don’t get to see him that often, so every second I have with him matters until I get too old. Because of that, he’s afraid that one day when he opens his eyes, I won’t be there anymore. So, even if I’m gone, he’ll have enough friends that he won’t ever have to feel alone anymore.”

From behind a dead tree, you can see Taehyung hiding behind it. You snicker, certainly knowing that he heard the entire conversation. He’s probably trying to fight back his tears. Every time you visit him during winter, he would sob and express about how much he doesn’t deserve you. But since he went through decades of suffering, this is the least you can do to ease it.

You raise your head, pointing your direction to him. “Taehyung, would you like to sit with us?”

He peers his head over the tree, holding the bark gently while staring at the ground. He raises his eyes, trying his hardest to hide his smile.

“...Thank you.”

[End]

A/N: Thank you for everyone who read this, especially considering how long it is lol. I wanted to get this out during winter, but it took longer than expected ha ha. I hope you guys are all safe and healthy!! Don’t be afraid to leave any comments :) Have a beautiful day. ^^

Masterlist

[astralaffairs]

@daveeddiggsit are? you??? fucking kidding me????? the short list of media i’ve consumed that made me cry has been (1) the part in harry potter where dumbledore dies, (2) the series finale of the good place, and, now, (3) wideout viii. i’m losing my mind literally how dare you. i hate how much i loved this chapter. i’m so emotional rn 😭🥺💔 idek how to break this down but i’ve gotta try so spoilers under the cut:

1. why tf is angry wideout!thom so hot. literally their fight is so perfectly written???

“No, no that’s exactly what you said.” He responds coldly, narrowing his eyes at you. “I’m starting to question our intentions in this relationship, Y/N. Did you ever plan on us being long term?” ...

“Answer the damn question, Y/N.” He says lowly, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. ...

Thomas licks his lips as he looks around, then back at you lazily. “Can this wait? We have class in six minutes, you know.”

2. their relationship pre-breakup is too damn cute for their own good. just break my heart ig

“You complainin’, sweetheart?” He fake pouts as he carefully pours the cream in his coffee and stirs with a spoon. “I thought you loved me.”

You roll your eyes. “You know I love your dramatic ass.”

“Mhm. In more ways than one.” Thomas hums before he takes a sip of his coffee. He cringes when he realizes it’s cold and you laugh at his reaction. ...

“A week ago? Maybe two? This is my first time wearing it, though.” He answers before he smirks. “Why? You like it?”

“Yeah, you look good in denim.”

“Do I, now?” He cocks his head slightly, amused as your face drifts closer.

“Mhm. The jacket really suits you.” You hum, releasing the material with one of your hands to slide it up to his jaw. You give him a soft kiss on his lips before you pull back. “Might look better on the floor, though. I don’t know. We’ll have to try and find out.”

3. all the parts that seriously broke my damn heart:

Although teary eyed because you are saying goodbye to a lot of friends and faculty you’ve gotten to know over the years, you and Thomas don’t cry on graduation day. You don’t cry during the ceremony, you don’t cry during the many pictures you take that day, and you don’t cry at the large family dinner the Jefferson household holds for both you and Thomas.

You’ve both toughed it out both privately and in public. But graduation day eventually comes to its inevitable end, and the day after begins, marking your last day with Thomas Jefferson as your boyfriend.

--

As the day goes by, your time together begins to run out. And both of your composures begin to fade as each second passes.

--

You both sniffle, but you know that your time together, for the time being, at least, has come to an end — especially as both of you begin to drift off no matter how hard you try to stay awake.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” You whisper in Thomas’ warm embrace.

Thomas responds after he brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to.”

So neither of you do.

And you both fall asleep, bodies entangled with one another, content to be in each other’s embrace one last time before you move away.

The next morning, Thomas wakes up before you do and he slowly untangles himself from you as he wills himself to stay strong. He dresses himself as quietly as he can before he presses one last kiss to your temple.

Then, he takes one last look at your sleeping form before he leaves, keeping his word to you and not giving either of you a chance to say your goodbyes.(ummmm im tearing up as i read this scene the 2nd time too. bri u had NO right!!!)

-------

“Don’t apologize, Y/N. You gave me the best year and eight months I could ever ask for… so thank you.”

You look up at him for a second before you sob and crash into his chest. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.” He replies softly before he steels himself. “But you have a flight to catch. Which means you need to go.”

You give him one last kiss, it’s watery from both of your tears but neither of you care.

“Go be great.” He says when you pull back. “You deserve the world, Y/N.”

He holds your hand until the grip slips when you take a step towards the car.

“See you later, Thomas.”

He smiles through his tears before he replies. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

You get in the car and a few seconds later, your mother pulls out of the driveway (apparently Erik and your father are going to drive separately). As the car drives away, Thomas waves from your driveway until you can’t see him anymore. You know that’s the last you’ll see of him for a while.

And maybe, just maybe, you regret leaving him behind. (yea i’m crying thru my second time reading this part too PHEW this is too much :((((( )

in conclusion, i firmly believe u owe me an apology @bri >:(

[katsukikitten]

Bakugoxreader is a USA transfer. Shes really sweet but doesn’t put up with bakugos shit. He tolerates her because she puts up a good fight and low key thinks her accent is adorable. one day their class has a tea and shes bummed because she likes iced sweet tea. Everyone thinks that’s weird but later that night Bakugo shows up with a pitcher and a little embarrassed because he doesn’t know if he used enough sugar. Then she jokes about in the south sugar could also mean kissing. And then they do.

Sun Tea

A/N Hopefully this is close to what you had in mind lovey! Enjoy! Thank you for your patience while I wrote this!

Three sets of eyes stare down at the pile of cards atop the circular coffee table, each of you sitting cross legged while a few of your other class mates sit among the couches.

"Draw six Y/N." Kirishima wears a rare devilish smile as he places down a yellow draw two card atop two other hellish cards.

You return his smile holding eye contact with Bakugou as you dramatically produce a red draw two.

"Bless your heart Bakugou doll, you've gotta draw eight." You take much satisfaction in placing down the card that will screw him over.

A little too much actually, it's not very hospitable of you to enjoy another's misfortune.

It all boils down to when you were first transferred here, mostly against your will, from America Bakugou hated you with every fiber in his being.

And you hated him in return, which was quite unlike you.

But he had aired all your dirty laundry about your delinquent behavior that you had done in America.

What he didn't know was you had to do those things to survive.

You absentmindedly brush against the tattoo on your neck and two sets of red eyes follow.

Believe it or not he was beginning to see that now.

Could really see how much that lifestyle was thrust upon you.

"This is a stupid fucking game! Why'd I let you talk me into playing hair for brains!?" Bakugou snarls, snatching at the deck on the table counting out eight muttering fuck you beneath his breath.

Kirishima laughs in response as he places down a red eight, Deku places down a red six before you place down a skip.

"You're fucking working together huh?" He snarls darkly and you laugh.

"Ain't his fault you're as lucky as a June bug in November." Your laugh echoes in the room. Pulling at the ash blonde's stomach. Although he doesn't know what the hell you're saying he knows that your voice is just too God Damn cute. You notice the dusting of red on his cheeks and chalk it up to his temper.

To which he adds validity to your assumption by adding harshly.

"What in the fuck are you saying?"

It's a question you hear often.

"I believe she means you're not lucky at all." Todoroki chimes in, heterochromatic eyes peering over his book. Momo nods in agreement as she writes down the expression as she has been these past few months, every now and again she'll try to use the English expression in everyday conversation to you.

And honestly you don't have the heart to tell her that not ALL Americans will understand what she's saying.

You pray to the good Lord that she'll run into another decent Southern belle who would get a lick of what she's saying.

Kirishima takes sympathy and places down a reverse for his friend.

Bakugou smiles from ear to ear and plops down an angry looking black card.

"Draw four bitch." He snarls close to your ear and you narrow your eyes. You draw a blue zero, a red two, a green six and the very card that first scorned you.

A draw four that may be your saving grace.

"Don't be gettin too big for ya britches now Suki, Im fixin ta win." You drawl out real heavy because you're excited and again Bakugou's cheeks begin to heat.

You smirk a deadly smile to him that he returns ten fold.

His smile sends your stomach into a tizzy and you try to talk yourself from the edge.

The two of you had just gotten over absolutely loathing each other and transitioned into hard frienemies.

So why the hell were you fighting off a crush?!

It was bound to happen since Aizawa paired the two of you together and only because Bakugou had the highest score in English.

But damn if you weren't hard to understand sometimes. It was like you weren't even speaking English!

At least not the english Bakugou was taught.

Depsite your past, time showed those harsh scarlet eyes that you weren't a total lost cause, an extra undeserving of a second look.

You more than proved you were a worthy rival and it all came after the phrase.

*"Oh I'm finna kick ya ass to high heaven."*

He has never seen you so flustered before and damn did you keep good to your word.

Forcing him to actually try against you. Never admitting that he enjoyed that part of you.

Narrowed eyes, flushed cheeks and pouty lips pulled past white teeth looking "madder than a wet hen."

Or whatever the hell it was you said.

He just hadn't known he would enjoy that odd ass twang you had too.

But you'll never know that it wasn't really Kirishima who convinced Bakugou to play this stupid idiotic game.

No, it was you, when you wore that devilish smirk before adding

*"Guess you're too scared you'll lose!"*

Katsuki sat down and actually dealt the cards himself then.

"Does anyone want tea?" Mina asks, peeking out from the kitchen.

"Please dahling!" You shout and she smiles your way before making her way back to that amazing smelling dinner.

You have two cards left in your hand, you feel lucky but at the same time you're relying on Bakugou to set down a card that will benefit you.

Please God let it be either a blue card or a zero.

You really didn't want to have to use your ace in the hole or have to draw.

Bakugou places down a red reverse causing Kirishima to draw a few cards before he slaps down a red eight.

"Oi Deku. Make yourself useful. Y/N only has two cards." Bakugou snarls, Izuku gulps avoiding eye contact.

He looks over his cards with nervous eyes muttering to himself with each passing second Bakugou gets that much more agitated.

"OI! PUT DOWN A CARD!" He yells and Deku does hastily.

And the Uno Gods have blessed you as a red zero stares lovingly up at you.

"Its about to go to hell in a hand basket for y'all! Uno!" You exclaim as you place down your card, switching it to blue.

"What?!" Kirishima laughs while Bakugou snarls.

"Means you're about to have a bad time." This time Todoroki doesnt even bother to look up from his book. He flips the page and Momo flips through her own notes.

She must spy the phrase and puts a tally by it. She figures the more times you've said it the more common the idiom.

Little does she know there are some phrases in their you'll most likely never utter again having been quick witted when you made the Southernism on the fly

"How the hell do you know what she's saying?" Denki asks looking up from his switch, trying hard not to move as Jhiro naps on him. Dead to the world with her head phones plugged in.

Todoroki shrugs flipping another page before he eyes the game.

Bakugou sucks his teeth, he doesnt have anything to use against you, you clearly don't even go after him.

And to make things worse he doesn't even have fucking blue or a damned zero. He draws seven cards before blue shows up. He places the blue nine down harshly, Kirishima places a green nine over top of it and all eyes fly to Deku.

Who again begins to murmur and mutter as he thinks of his next move.

All the while your smile grows wider and wider.

There isn't much of a card out there that could stop you.

Deku hesitantly lies down a red nine hoping that changing the color so rapidly would cause you anxiety.

When he see that it doesn't he begins to watch in horror as you place down that little black cars with the +4 in the corner.

"No..." He gasps.

"NO!!" Bakugou shouts slamming his fists agaisnt the table, "Rematch!"

"What's the with all the fuss?" Mina asks carrying a large tray of drinks. She makes her way around the room setting down a scalding cup to each person.

"Y/N won and Bakugou's mad." Kirishima explains kissing Mina's cheek and tapping his lap, "Thanks babe."

She sits cozily picking up her cup.

The whole class, aside from yourself and napping Jhiro seem to take a sip of the tea in unison.

Everyone holds the cup just in front of their chest as a smile spreads on their face.

Even Bakugou looks joyful and you look to the steaming liquid in the gray cup before you.

Heavily missing your favorite sweating Mason jar clinking with ice as you watched summer storms a brew.

Scarlet eyes notice how your drink goes untouched, he nudges you harshly before shouting.

"Oi!" He hates the long face you wear, "Drink it before it gets cold."

"I uh... I keep forgettin the tea aint iced or sweetened here." You say sheepishly keeping your eyes down, "Thank you Mina."

"What? Iced? Sweet?" Bakugou sounds baffled as he tried to understand.

Tea was fucking tea. It didn't need ice and it didn't need sugar.

"Yea! It's a staple in the Southern states. Can't throw a rock where it ain't served." Your face brightens as you speak, that drawl even heavier, "And sweet enough to rot your teeth!"

"Why?" Bakugou asks borderline nasty while you have the attention of everyone in the room.

"You see it gets hotter than Hell in the South, humid enough to make ya melt faster than Frosty in July. So sweet tea keeps ya sane. It's cool and of course sweet, keeps us southern folk from being bitter about how hot it is." You stare into the liquid in the cup, almost imagining it to be different.

"Oh! And if it's hot enough in the summer, which it always was where I was from, yall can make sun tea."

"Alright you're making shit up now." Bakugou shakes his head before taking another sip. He closes his eyes when he sees that his comment has struck something in you.

Your face flashes from angry to almost hurt.

"I used to make the best sun tea every summer." You say longfuly before adding, "Anyway I'm tired. Imma head to bed."

"But dinner is soon!" Kirishima and Mina express their worry in unison.

You smile to mask your hurt. Although it was extremely hard for you in America there were somethings you missed greatly.

Sweet sun tea was one of 'em.

You could take the girl out of the South but not the South out of the girl.

"I'll be fine. I'm full as a tic from that late lunch. I'll see y'all when the roasters sing." You wave as you head towards the stairs.

All the while crimson red eyes bore into you.

Before the bore into space through dinner and now into the ceiling as he lies in bed.

Why did you look like that?

Where you that upset?

Had his comment been too far?

Were you madder than that stupid wet hen you kept mentioning?

No, he knew you weren't mad he knew you were feeling "blue" and that he needed to some how make you "right as rain."

That's how you said it right?

He snarls as he snatches up his phone looking up this and that before settling on doing the ultimate thing for you.

He bares his teeth when he sees JUST how long this will take and that he may have to move it depending on the sun.

But he rises early from bed anyway and gets all of the things needed for what he's fixing.

Soon the morning melts into night and Bakugou was lucky that it was in the dead of summer.

Katuski notices that you announce that you're going to"hit the hay" sooner than you normally do when you're not feeling yourself.

Nervousness begins to escape him through beads of sweat on his brow as begins the finishing touches.

You lie on your bed, scrolling through the old photos on your Insta. Longing for those flashes of lightning, corn fields brightened by the moon's light and those old winding backroads.

You open your window to let the warm air in, at least Japan and the south had one thing in common.

Even the bugs would scream late into the night about how hot the day was.

You lie back again, sighing as you scroll, longing for those times once more.

You missed the stars, you missed the barn cats, the hens, the long trips to the beach.

You scroll down a bit further and spy a picture that brings tears to your eyes.

"You're dumber than a box of rocks Y/N pull it together!" You whisper to yourself as you wipe your eyes.

It was only a photo of a large glass container absorbing all of that summer sun and a wide mouth quart mason jar filled with ice.

Ready to be filled.

Still tears fall and for the first time you cry.

Cry for the lost memories.

The lost time and most importantly your lost childhood.

That place took everything from you, forced you to the cities to sell and steal.

But here you were crying like a baby over some tea and the moon.

A harsh knock comes at your door that has your heart in your throat.

You toss your phone as if you were looking as something bad before clearing your throat.

"Coming honey. Gimme a sec I ain't decent." You say, not really lying as you look yourself over in the mirror.

It really wasn't decent for a Southern Belle to cry over some spilt sweet tea.

You open the door to be met with burning scarlet eyes.

"Honey really?" He asks with a smirk.

"Had I know it would have been you that the cat dragged in I would have said vinegar instead." You cross your arms, far from in the mood to deal with Bakugou of all people.

He gives you a pointed look, half knowing what you mean before he sighs heavily.

"I've got something for you now sit down and close your damn eyes." He snarls and you look at him suspiciously.

"Last time you 'had' something for me we scrapped with our fists." He rolls his eyes and gently guides you into your room. He ushers you to sit on your bed making his way back to the hall.

"No peeking damn it!" He growls. Now it is your turn to roll those gorgeous eyes before you close them with an exasperated sigh.

What in Sam's hell was he up to?

You hear an odd sound of clinking before he kicks your door shut.

A long silence stretches between the two of you before courage returns to Bakugou.

Something cool is pressed against your palm and you grab onto it quickly letting your eyes flutter open.

When you spy a mason jar filled with ice and sloshing tan liquid you squeal as if it were a wedding ring. Your reaction alarms Bakugou before he sees the smile forming on your kissable lips.

He swallows his hot desire as you jump up and down on the bed.

He swallows his hot desire as you jump up and down on the bed.

"Is this what I think it is?!" You bring the jar to your lips and taste.

Your body relaxes and your head tilts back, eyes fluttering as it brings a rush of memories.

How did he get the tea to sugar ratio so...so fucking perfect.

You dare not ask who made this tea because it was made right.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you take in all of the context clues.

Bakugou had been going outside every hour or so today. Making some sort of excuse not to leave the dorms today.

Then he holed himself up in the kitchen just before you had turned in for the night.

Lastly his cheeks were red, burning hot and it finally dawns on you that it isn't from his temper.

But from something else.

Your heart pounds in your chest.

"Is...is that enough sugar for you?" Bakugou asks hesitantly, scratching the back of his head.

You laugh aloud wondering if he realizes the double meaning to his words.

"What?! What is so fucking funny? Is it fucking laughable how bad it is?!" He growls standing as you set down your tea as your laughing fit sets in.

Finally you wipe away a stray tear before regaining your composure.

"Oh no. Bakugou it's great. But sugar has another meaning in the south." You giggle again before adding, "Sugar can mean kissing.

Bakugou stares at you for a moment, he watches as you brush you hair behind your hear. He drinks in the blush that burns in your cheeks seep down your throat as you realized what you've just said.

And he breathes in the sweet smell of summer air carried in on the breeze of your open window.

All day while he tended to that sun tea, moving it into direct sunlight he caught wiffs of smells that reminded him of you. Wild flowers, lilies, sunflowers, honeysuckle, all swaying in the wind watching as he worked and every time he opened the top to that tea he would smell that sharp black tea, combated by the sweet smell of sugar.

He slides his hands past your cheeks, wrapping fingers into hair as he pulls your face to his.

Capturing your lips with his own, and like every spar you've had with him you fight to be the winner. Pulling at this bottom lip with your teeth, demanding entrance the he allows but only for his tongue to win in the end.

He kisses you until you become putty in his hands, melting into his touch as your hand grips tightly onto his black skull tee shirt. A moan escapes your lips as he kisses you impossibly sensual and slowly.

He pulls away and you actually whine but he does not move far, pressing his forehead to yours.

He stares at you before a deadly smile crosses his slightly swollen lips. His voice comes out dangerously husky as he says

"Is that enough sugar for you?"

[zankivich]

The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 13

Merry Chrismukkah or whatever you celebrate, or just happy Saturday if that’s what floats your boat. Shawn is still dumb. Perhaps dumber. But these are my babies and they deserve the best. Just keep that in mind okay? K bye.

*Shawn’s point of view*

The New Year was a wonderful way for very rich people to throw very elaborate parties to tell people how rich they were. In his early twenties, he’s been roped in by the booze and the women and the occasional party drug or two. Something about twenty-four made him crave the serenity of naps, staying in, and home cooked meals. It could have been the maturity of growing up, sure, but he wasn’t exactly that naive. All he had to do was wake up wrapped around her to know that the only thrill he was going to get was by being with her. Y/n was the least industry, industry person he’d ever met. So, when she told him she had no plans to attend not one even one of the many she’d been invited to, he wasn’t disappointed in the slightest. He was happy to stay in. Or so he thought.

They were going to see a movie at this theatre in Manhattan that always showed the upcoming independent films of the year before they ever made it to the indie film festival. He really liked indie films, so y/n bought them tickets for a matinee showing. While y/n was in the shower getting ready his phone began to buzz and he was left without a choice but to answer it for one specific reason. It was his father. Or the Devil. Semantics.

“Yes, dad?” He sighed.

“Your mother is flying in for our annual New Years Eve party. I need you to get her here on time, and make sure she takes the uppers and not the downers this time.”

“Dad, Mom hasn’t been on pills since 2014. Remember the whole rehab thing?” He huffed. “And I’m absolutely not coming to that thing this year.”

“You absolutely the fuck are. The entire senior management team will be here, and I won’t have you make me look bad because you insist on being a child. You’re coming and you’re bringing your mother.”

His hands turned to fists  and he pulled the phone away from his mouth just long enough to curse his father back to hell for once.

“I already have plans, dad!”

“Cancel them! The party starts at nine, I expect you and your mother here by ten at the latest. Put on a suit for Christ’s sake too, none of that skinny jean bullshit.”

His dad hangs up without another world and he collapsed back onto the bed to question how he had managed to be conceived by one of the worst people ever. Really, what were the chances?

“Baby do you wanna do chinese for dinner after the movies?” y/n called from the bathroom.

And that’s when he began to cry.

“Boy, what in the hell is the matter with you now?”

He uncovered his arm from his face to see her standing at the entryway to the bathroom wrapped in a towel and looking as soft as cocoa butter. He really wanted to cry.

“You know the crime shows where the kids kill the parents and you’re like, holy shit that’s fucked up? Well I’m starting to sympathize with ‘em.”

“Sorry, that’s a little too close to white nonsense for me. Why, what happened?”

She stepped over to where he was on the bed and he sat up to fall a little pathetically into her arms. She smelled like flowers and that whole cocoa butter business he was thinking of earlier. Jesus, life was so unfair.

“My dad is making me pick up my mother and go to this stupid fucking new year’s eve party so he can pretend that they haven’t not lived together since before I graduated high school. No options. I’m going.” He reported glumly.

Her fingers were cool from having dried after the shower and she ran them soothingly through his scalp. He nestled himself more firmly against her and tried not to purr too loudly.

“Hmm, well that sucks. I guess there go our plans huh?”

He peered up at her, chin resting against her chest.

“Absolutely not. We’re gonna go see our movie and then we’ll...just go drink my dad’s booze and maybe find a janitor’s closet to fool around in.” He shrugged.

She snorted. “How romantic. I told you I’m not taking my underwear off in a janitor’s closet ever again, Shawn.”

“Who said you had to? I can get creative, baby.” He grinned.

“Of course you can. I think you’re forgetting the part where your dad doesn’t know we’re together.”

“Oh hell, who cares y/n. I’m not going without you. Why would I spend new year’s without my girlfriend?”

“Because...Manny is Satan and would try to ruin my career?”

“Hey, he wouldn’t. Y/n, I swear he wouldn’t do that to you.”

She smiled down at him sadly and scratched at his scalp again.

“I don’t really think you could make that promise, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m not mad about it. I understand.”

“But I don’t! I want to spend the day with you, not at some dumb party! I had a whole plan about us making love in my bed with the curtains open while the fireworks went on, dammit. I hate him!”

Her chest began to shake and he realized that she was indeed laughing at him. There’s no love in this world.

“This isn’t funny.” He whined.

“It’s a little funny.”

No. Love.

***

“Hmm you look good enough to eat.” She murmured from behind him.

Her arms came to wrap around his waist and she reached up on the tips of her toes to rest her chin on his shoulder as he adjusted his suit. He could not have been less excited.

“Good enough to eat, not good enough to keep me home, aye?”

She rolled her eyes. “You are about as dramatic as they come you know that? I’m trying to keep the peace. Now you just make sure nobody touches what’s mine and you bring your ass home right after that ball drops.”

He turned in her grasp, pulling her more tightly against him. She was in nothing but his sweatshirt and a pair of underwear that surely would make him drool if he stared long enough. He loved her.

“What was it again that’s yours? I just wanna make sure I have all my bases covered when I inevitably get hit on.” He smirked.

She reached quickly for his jaw and tugged him forward so she could kiss him with dominance and love. Why in the entire hell was he going to this party?

“All of it.” She whispered eyes lifting up and down to drink him in. “You call me if you need a reminder.”

He nodded dumbly, lips parted and ready to drool.

“Yea. Okay.”

Leaving her is nearly impossible, especially knowing that he won’t have an ounce of fun the rest of the night. His mum is half way to sloppy drunk by the time he arrives to pick her up and the party's at stifling capacity by the time they arrive. But as long as his dad is happy that’s apparently all that matters. It’s all that ever matters.

“Look you just stand against this wall and I’ll go get you something with bubbles in it.”

His mum only giggled and leaned harder against the wall.

“Okay!”

He goes to the bar and gets her some cranberry juice mixed with soda water. She was drunk enough that it wouldn’t matter, and he was hopeful that by the end of the night she might sober enough for him to get her back to her hotel without incident. By the time he returns from the bar, he sees his dad wrapping his arm possessively around his mother. He starts talking to some old guy in a hat that isn’t doing enough to cover his balding head, and it’s about as sickening as can be. The worst part is that his mum completely plays into it. Her head rests on his shoulder. Her fingers play with his hair. They play the happy couple so well, it almost has him fooled. Almost.

There used to be a day when he would have tried to defend her honor, a day when he thought he was strong enough to fight his dad. He’d gotten knocked on his ass enough times to know that was simply not the case. And that’s how he ended up hiding in a corner with a double scotch texting his girlfriend while everyone around him looked like complete and total jackasses.

Shawn: I miss you. This is dumb. My dad is literally the worst.

y/n: You are so cute when you complain like a sixteen year old.

Shawn: I am delicate, y/n. You cannot be mean to me in my current state.

y/n: You poor, poor thing. What can I do to make it better?

Shawn: Rescue me?

y/n: We’ll see. Go place nice with the fragile men who never lived up their father’s visions for them.

Shawn: I think I’d rather die.

The party really is dead. It’s all the people who kiss his dad’s ass on a daily basis. Most of them were in their fifties or older. It wasn’t even the artists themselves, just the people who made money off of them. If he didn’t know any better he’d say it was his dad’s way of fundraising for investors. And he definitely knew better.

He’s sitting at the bar counting down the minutes until he gets to go home. It’s maybe thirty minutes until the ball drops, and everyone around him is hammered to pieces. He hasn’t seen his dad since he got there, and his mum was probably being dragged around by that asshole as nothing more than a trophy piece. God he wanted to go home. And then the elevator doors opened.

She’s wearing the dress that he bought her after he accidently ripped the other one. It’s black and sleek with a thigh slit that has his lips parting even now. Her hair is tied sleekly up in a bun and the second she steps into the room the entire atmosphere shifts. She’s gorgeous. Every inch of her. They lock eyes from across the room and he just knows that he’s beaming, couldn’t stop it even if he wanted. She’s here for him and no one else, and that means the world to him. She means the world to him.

He orders her her go-to drink and goes to find his girlfriend only to find that she’s already been stopped. It’s one of the guys from his dad’s team. He’s on the younger side, maybe in his early thirties, probably drives an eco friendly car or something. He’s dumb is the point. Dumb. And ugly. And stupid. And talking to his girlfriend.

“You look beautiful tonight. I didn’t expect to see you here. You and Manny don’t really get along.”

She giggled. Why was she giggling?

“That’s certainly one way to put it. But a good old-fashioned rivalry never hurt anyone, did it? Especially not when I win.” She grinned.

“You know…I find that kind of confidence in a woman to be incredibly sexy.”

Her eyes widened and he leaned in to place a hand on her waist. He made sure to step between them before it got that far.

“Vodka cran right?” He interjected pulling her not so subtly against him.

She rolled her eyes but smiled up at him.

“Yes, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Who are you chatting with?”

“Shawn it’s Mike. We--We work together?”

He placed his hand on her lower back barely sparing him a glance as he led her away.

“Oh yea. Enjoy the party Mike!”

“You are not subtle in the slightest you know that?” She laughed.

“Yea, whatever. Only person who get’s to call my baby sexy is me, dammit.”

“I find your possessiveness to be both sexist and oddly stimulating. I will combat my feminist guide and get back to you.”

He snorted. “While you’re at it can you ask the feminist guide what it has to say about your whole, ‘it’s all mine’, shtick?”

“Hmm...you may have a point.”

He leads her onto the dance floor. Dancing is innocent. It can mean anything, and isn’t inherently tied to being in a relationship, so it acts as a safe space for the two of them. The party was too large for him to place eyes on his dad, so he had to just believe that they could occupy space together and be okay. No kissing. No waist touching. Certainly no ass touching. He really had to just hold onto his drink and soak her in. The good news is that soaking her in is better than not having her there at all. So he holds tight to the idea that he could have her there with him.

“You came here for me.” He murmured in her ear. “Why?”

She shrugs her shoulders and shimmies her hips to the beat of a Khalid song, ironically.

“You asked me to.”

“I know but...what about my dad?”

“Your dad is...always going to exist. No matter how long we’re together. If I let him stop me from enjoying New Year’s with you than I’m giving him power over our relationship. He doesn’t get to have that. Only we have that.”

It’s another one of those moments where if he looked back on his life, he could have identified it as a shift in their dynamic. This was y/n pulling down the final brick in the wall. She had chosen him fully and irrevocably in such a way that she was willing to go all in. His dad no longer matter mattered. Nothing really seemed to matter. Because they loved each other, and as long as they loved each other everything else would work out at some point. He had always been hers, but now he got to be her’s in broad daylight. Well, kind of.

They find a corner to shove themselves into away from the crowd. She crosses her legs and shows off more thigh than anyone has the right too, which reminds him that he hasn’t kissed her in hours. And so he sneaks a kiss on her cheek and hides his face in her neck, because he just wants to go home. He really wants to go home.

“I can’t touch you here.” He mumbled. “This is basically my own version of hell.”

She sighed. “Yea, I know. Usually your horniness is excessive, but this party is drier than Milania Trump’s pussy. Sheesh.”

He laughs because she’s funny and it makes him feel lighter, happier. He still doesn’t know how she does it.

“My dad is somewhere showing my mum off like she’s a thing and not a person. To him everything is a commodity, something for him to own and do with what he pleases.” He mumbled reaching for her hand. “I just want you to know that you could never be that for me. I would never, ever treat you like that.”

She smiled softly at him.

“I know. You’ve never treated me with anything but kindness, Shawn. You’re not your dad.”

He nodded. “See I know that, and yet still it feels good to be reminded sometimes.”

“You just let me know whenever you need reminding then.”

“Mkay. I will.”

“Shawn.”

The two of them looked up as his father ascended with his mother hanging onto him, eyes barely open. Y/n moved as far away from him as physically possible. He had to hide his face to pretend it didn’t hurt. It did hurt.

“What now?” He grumbled.

“Your mother is incompacitated. Take her home. Now.”

He stands up immediately, y/n remaining seated in her chair. She played coy incredibly well, bringing her drink to her lips and settling back deeper into her chair.

“Y/n,” Manny dipped his head. “So glad you could make it to our little suarey. Are you enjoying yourself?”

She smiled. “You know I was. I think I enjoyed myself so much that I’m gonna have to take a very long nap to deal with all the excitement.”

He catches the thinly veiled anger on his father’s face at Y/n taking the piss out of him as he reaches for his mum. She was in worse condition than he left her in, her eyes barely remaining open.

“Jesus, dad what did you do to her?” He hissed.

“She’s a grown ass woman fully capable of making her own decisions. Now get her out of here before she embarasses me further.”

“I do really enjoy the playful family banter. It’s sweet.” Y/n interjected. “And not incredibly cliche at all.”

He looked at her with pleading eyes to not make his father any angrier than he already was. If the look on his face was anything to go off though, his father wasn’t ever going to be happy when y/n was present. Manny sent y/n a scathing look before grumbling off to be with the rest of the crowd. His mum on the other hand was practically snoring on his shoulder. He hated the holidays.

“Looks like I’m gonna miss the ball drop. I gotta get her home.” He sighed.

“It’s okay. We can ring in the new year when you get back, okay?”

“Promise?”

She smiled up at him. “Promise.”

“K. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Neither of them noticed Manny watching them from the bar. Nor had they noticed the way he had watched them the entire night. In fact as Shawn was pulling his mother towards the elevator, Manny was calling for the party planner for the event that night.

“Can you look up a name on the guest list for me?” He asked.

“Of course, sir.”

“y/f/n y/l/n. She on there?”

The party planner flicked through the list twice before shaking her head at Manny.

“No sir, I never sent any invitation to a y/f/n y/l/n.”

Manny looked back over at the couch where y/n and Shawn had been sitting. She was already gone.

“Yea, that’s what I thought.”

***

*y/n’s point of view*

The fact that Shawn becomes a regular at Lenny’s Tavern is only a testament to his love for music. He went every Friday it seemed, to the point where he turned out to be a celebrity of the pub. It was his place of joy. You never saw him smile harder then when he was up there with a guitar in his hands. It was a blend of covers and originals, and when he’s up there getting the entire crowd to scream sing “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, you know that there’s something special there. He knows how to command a room, at first with his presence, but now with his talent. Something that could take years to teach an artist, Shawn was sitting there with it by the boatload. And so every night is a little bittersweet, because you know Manny and you know if he has his way Shawn will never get anything more. But, the smile on his face every time he asks you to go is enough to have you taking the forty minute drive out the city on Fridays.

He jumps down from the stage to ravenous applause. The smile and the light in his eye is exceptional. You watch him get stopped by a few women, an increasing occurrence at Lenny’s Tavern, who asked to take a selfie with him. The smile that he puts on for them is more calculated, more mass sex appeal. Honestly, he was a music exec’s wet dream. And not because he’s good at it, but because he does it with this sort of authentic happiness that no amount of money can buy. He’s just got it.

“Did you like it babe? I tried the falsetto on the ‘suit and tie’ cover just like you said.” He beamed at you.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his nose.

“You sounded amazing. Just like you always do. My baby’s kind of a star.” You grinned.

“Yea, only because of you. Can you imagine my life if you’d been my manager instead of my dick of a dad?”

“You’d be wildly sucessful for sure...But I don’t fuck my clients so…”

He frowned. “Then let’s just stick with this reality, aye?”

“Sounds good to me. Let’s go get me a drink.”

He trailed you to the bar, his hands playfully on your ass and hips. His unwillingness to quit touching you was much appreciated in just about every instance of your lives together. Why go through life not being touched by your significant other? It just didn’t make sense.

“Hey Shawn!” Ronnie, the owner of the bar, called.

“Hey Ronnie, man, what’d you think of the set?”

“It was amazing! You’re always amazing, you pretty bastard, and you know it.”

You peered up at your boyfriend as you took a sip of your drink. His cheekbones were more sculpted than yours and perfectly flushed. His curls were like the swirl of an ice cream cone off pinterest. The fucker really was pretty. Rude.

“Hey, it’s just an honor to get up there man.”

“Really? Cause see I had one of my buddies from Atlantic come see your set and he asked me to give you his card, but if it’s all about the honor then…”

“What?!” Shawn and you screeched in unison.

Ronnie stared at the two of you with a big grin on his face.

“Yea! Same way I got our little Niall to where he’s at. When the sets are good, they come to check out the talent man. And you’re better than good. Here.”

Shawn took the card and stared down at it. You could see the fear, but also the light in his eyes. It was about as tragic as can be.

“No man, I--I can’t take this.” He mumbled handing the card back to Ronnie.

Ronnie refused it.

“Keep it. You deserve it man!” He exclaimed before walking away.

Shawn turned to you with wide eyes and a terrified look on his face that had you reaching to wrap his giant frame up in your arms.

“It’s okay. Hey, don’t stress yourself out. Just don’t call the number.”

“But my dad does so much work with Atlantic. Like five of his artists are co-signed through them. What if he finds out somehow?”

You shook your head. “He won’t cause you’re not going to call...unless that’s what you want.”

“Huh?”

You ran your hands up his arms and over his shoulders trying to quell some of the tension.

“Look I’m just saying that, yea you signed with your dad when you were fifteen but that contract expired the moment you became an adult. That’s probably why he asked you to work for the company the moment you turned eighteen, so that he could retain this hold he has over you.”

He frowned at you. “But...but my music.”

“I know baby. You made a lot of music that means a lot to you, and I want nothing more than for you to have ownice of it. All I’m saying is that if you can’t get the music back, that doesn’t mean you can never create again. It doesn’t even mean you can’t make music for a living. Any label would kill to sign you. I know because I’d be right there fighting with ‘em.”

He released this big breath, face twitching with anxiety. You could tell it was getting to him, that the moment was becoming too much. You didn’t really know how to ease him into it anymore than you already had.

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. I wanna go home.”  He mumbled, face red.

“Okay, I can be okay with that. Let’s go home.”

“Can we go to your place?” He asked head dipping down closer to yours.

You smiled. “Of course.”

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

Everything makes sense when they’re making love. It’s something about the way she tastes, or maybe is the vibrations of her moans against his mouth when he kisses her throat. His head is never more clear than when she’s in his arms. He loves her. God does he love her. He wants her to have everything, all of him, infinitely. So that’s what she gets.

“Fuck! Oh my god!” She sobbed.

“You gonna cum for me?” He asks reaching to stroke her clit with his thumb.

She nodded recklessly her stomach tensing, thighs trembling.

“Please. Shawn, I need it so bad.”

He flips her onto her back, hand wrapping around the top of her head for leverage as he lays into her. Her body shakes for him and she claws at his back so hard there will be welts later. But it’s her pleasure. It’s the only thing in the world that matters to him when they’re in this space together. So he keeps moving, keeps moaning, keeps holding on for every second that he can if it means she’ll stare at him like he just blew her mind. He always wants to blow her mind. And she bursts for him like an overripe fruit in the summer heat, and he makes sure that he’s right there to slurp it up for her.

“I love you.” He groaned into her ear. “I love you so much.”

The doorbell ringing is literally the last thing in the world that he wants to hear. She’s still panting against his neck and he’s just supposed to get out of bed?

“Let it ring.” She mumbled lips tracing his nipple.

“Oh. My. God, woman.”

She giggled and the result was something so cute and soft on her face that he could feel his exhausted body peak in interest. The line between whether to dominate and whether to cuddle  deeply into the sheets got more blurred by the second with her.

The doorbell rings again.

“Jesus Christ.” He muttered.

“Fuck...look just go answer it. I have to get ready for work soon anyway.”

He immediately began to pout.

“But baby...I didn’t finish my moves.” He whined.

She snorted. “You finished just fine for me, dear. Go get the door.”

He does what she asks. But not without whining the entire time dammit. She puts on his Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and walks off to his kitchen without underwear or a bra. Whoever was at the door probably deserved to die. He didn’t make the rules.

“This better be good!”

He yanked open the door to see his dad standing there with two starbucks cups in his hands and the grin of Satan.

“Dad.” He mumbled. “What--what the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s time to talk to son.” He smiled making his way past him to get into his apartment.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“Look now really isn’t the time!”

“On the contrary, I don’t think there could be a better time. Ah! Good morning y/n!”

Sure enough there she stood in the middle of the room where the living room met the kitchen with a pan in her hand and the fear of god in her eyes.

“Y/n my...dad is here.” He stated glumly.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’d managed to catch on, Shawn.”

“As much as I do enjoy watching the two of you prance around with no pants on, I think it’s time to get dressed. Shawn and I have some things to discuss. Take your time. I’ll wait.”

The room is dead silent. Y/n is looking at him like she’s contemplating hitting his dad over the head with the pan. Honestly, it’s not the worst visual he could come up with. Instead they walk side by side back to his bedroom. His hands are shaking and he tugs anxiously at his hair as he watches her get dressed. It’s impossible for him to wrap his head around this moment. Ten minutes ago they were making love, and now his dad knows about them. Just like that.

She tugs her shoes on and reaches for her keys and his heart spasms painfully in his chest. He’s got no choice but to reach for her.

“Hey,” He whispered hands still shaking as he gripped her waist. “I--I don’t know what’s going on right now. I’m freaking out y/n.”

She nodded. “Me too. It’s gonna be okay though. Just come to my place when it’s over. Whatever it is, we can work through it, y’know? That’s what we do.”

“I love you. More than anything. You know that right?”

She smiled at him sadly and ran her fingers through his hair to scratch at his scalp. It was the most calming gesture he could think of.

“I know. And I love you too. It’ll be okay. I wish I could be here with you in this, I do. But we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

He nodded solemnly letting his shoulders drop as she released him.

“Yea, okay.”

The last image he gets of her is when she walks through his front door without looking back. Her head was high, shoulders back, a lot like the first night he met her. Only now he knew better. Now he knew it was a part of her no doubt, but a constructed one too. With the presence of his dad, she suddenly needed to be a version of herself that no one could touch. Not even him. And so the last good image he gets of her is a version of her that’s not his, not hers. It exists outside of everything that they’ve become together in the months of their love. It’s a protective shell put up to hide. That’s the last image he gets.

***

*y/n’s point of view*

He doesn’t come over. And he doesn’t call. At first you thought maybe something happened. Maybe Manny shipped him off to Novasokia or some shit. But a woman left to sit in her apartment for hours can only come up with so much. By the time it was dark out, you got the feeling that he wasn’t coming over. All your text messages and calls had gone unanswered. You worried sick, and sad as all hell. You skipped work to wait around for him, and then couldn’t bring yourself to do anything but lie there all day. So when he doesn’t show up it’s a day wasted. And when you wake up the next morning to nothing? Not a facetime, an emoji, not even a fuck off? Your heart just sort of breaks.

“Hi, uh. I don’t really know what’s going on. And I don’t know what he could have said to you to make you not come over but...I’m scared, Shawn. I--I miss you. And I just want to know that you’re okay. Please call me. Bye.”

You showed up to work an absolute nervous wreck. It had taken you all morning to convince yourself not to go over to Shawns’ apartment. If he really didn't want to see you, then you probably owed that to him. The rational part of you was trying to come up with a solution. So, you convinced yourself that Shawn must’ve gotten into a really terrible fight with his dad and he had gone off somewhere to play music and blow off steam. It wasn’t the craziest scenario. In the time that you’d known him, Shawn had definitely fled the world to hide in a room somewhere with his guitar. This was just the first time, he’d shut you out too.

You walked onto the floor of your office and Tiana was waiting there with a hot tea for you and a very sad, anxious look on her face. It just so happened that you didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with anyone else at the moment.

“Hey Ti,” You mumbled. “I just need the day okay? I’m gonna go work on some stuff, but I really don’t want to be bothered.”

“I know sis but… you’ve got a visitor.”

Your eyes widened and quickly moved to get to your office.

“Is it Shawn? Did he say anything to you?”

“Y/n it’s not Shawn!” She called after you. “It’s Manny.”

You froze where you stood peering at your office door with confusion.

“What?”

“He was already here when I got here. He said that he had something to tell you, and that you’d be interested in hearing from him.” She explained. “But, I can kick him out if you want. I--I didn’t know!”

You swallowed and turned back to your friend.

“No uh, it’s okay. I’ll just...I’ll go in there.”

There’s a moment where you stood outside your office and took a huge breath. The truth of the matter was Manny had scared you for years. In the midst of your come up in the industry there were plenty of men who didn’t like you. Didn’t like your ideas, didn’t like your success, didn’t like your unwillingness to bow down to them. That you’d grown used to. But Manny seemed to feel all of those things at a level that no one else did. And while plenty of men would be happy to see your down fall not too many of them would actively participate in making it happen. You had known from the day you met him that Manny was the guy who would.

Falling for Shawn hadn’t gotten rid of the fear, but what it had done was shift your priorities. Whatever was on the other side of that door needed to happen, because you needed Shawn in your life. You loved him too much to be without him, and he loved you too much too. You knew that. You had to believe those two facts or none of it mattered. So you schooled your face into the mask that you’d created long before that day, and you walked into your office to meet it head on. Because there were no other options.

“Manny, I wasn’t sure if you knew where our office was located.” You smiled upon entering the room. “I always figured it was too urban of a space for you, not enough upper east side, ya know.”

He sat on the edge of your desk a lot like Shawn had the first time he’d been there. If there was anything to be said about the resemblance of the too, it was that Shawn did look a lot like his father.

“Well you’re right about that, y/n. I don’t exactly slum it unless I have too. I figured today was a good enough occasion.”

And subtle racist remarks all before ten am. This ought to be a treat.

“What do you want, Manny?”

You sat down at your desk and of course he immediately stood up so that he could tower over you. Men. So incredibly predictable.

“It’s over y/n.”

You rolled your eyes at the dramatics.

“And do tell, what exactly is over Manny?”

“Whatever hold you had on my son. It’s done with.”

“Ahhh. That’s what this is about. You’re upset that he started thinking for himself, and that his hands were no longer glued to your ass. I’m sorry but that has nothing to do with me. He’s a grown man; he thinks for himself.”

Manny stuffed his hands in his pockets and began to walk around the room. In retrospect Shawn was just about as dramatic as his father, just less evil.

“I should’ve known when it first started that you’d dig your claws into him. His rush to get me to introduce you two. The sudden trips to Rome on my jet, of course. The push back at work. His disappearing all the time.” He sighed. “I just thought angry pussy was better pussy or something.”

Your anger gets the best of you and a break appears in the mask.

“Excuse me?”

“Well you two really just weren’t subtle at all now were you? Which was fine at first. I’m sure you’re perfectly fine in the sack y/n, but it’s not like he’d ever marry you into the family. But then you started putting your nose where it didn’t fucking belong. That stint at the pub where we found Niall. Did you really think I wasn’t going to hear about that?”

You were absolutely rattled inside, varying on disgust and rage alongside a kind of fear you hadn’t experienced in years. But you couldn’t let it show. You’d rather die than let it show.

“He’s talented. He’s the best I’ve seen in years and I’ve got three of this years top artists under my belt. To block that? To keep him hidden because of your own inadequacies? That’s pathetic and you know it.”

Manny chuckled. “Your generation is so incredibly naive. That’s business, honey. Shawn can do more for me outside of the spotlight than he can inside it. It’s as simple as that.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. You old wrinkly white men and your archaic understanding of the world. That’s not business, that’s greed. That relentless, self-indulging, disgusting greed you sad, sad little man.”

The smile on Manny’s face dropped as well as the temperature in the room. You were without a doubt one of the only people in his life to challenge him. He didn’t like it at all.

“And what about what he wants? Doesn’t that matter at all?” You asked. “Doesn’t anything but your own self-interest matter to you at all?”

“Not even in the slightest. But it’s okay now. I’ve shifted my narrative in part because of you. So I thank you for that.”

“Jesus Christ you know you sound like a villain straight out of a Spy Kids movie, like at all times? Will you just get to the fucking point?”

“I’m gonna give Shawn his masters back.”

You paused. “What?”

“Yep. All two hundred songs. There his. He can do with them what he pleases. He’ll resign a contract with me of course, and I’ll give him the career he always wanted. He’ll realize that he’s nothing without me. And everyone lives happily ever after.”

“I’m just supposed to believe that a plan you cooked up when he was fifteen years old is over now? Just like that? What’s the catch here?”

Manny snapped his fingers and moved closer to you.

“Oh that’s right. My apologies. The catch is that he has to break up with you.”

At this your stomach and your heart and everything in between just dropped.

“What?”

“You heard me. Shawn can have everything that he’s ever wanted, every song he’s ever written, just as long as you’re not in the picture.” He smiled. “I know my son, y/n. And he will pick correctly and you will be but an unpleasant memory.”

It just ripped you to shreds. It was the culmination of everything that you knew about Shawn, and everything that you loved about him, being exactly the thing to take him from you. And it hurt. You were left utterly defenseless as if he’d ripped your carefully crafted mask right from your face. Your eyes watered, your throated tightened. This was it. This was the end. Manny had banked on your willingness to know Shawn, which meant he knew that you loved him. And perhaps that’s the part that hurts the most. That someone could take the goodness of your heart and use it against you in such a malicious way.

“Why...why would you do this?” You asked.

And he shrugged at you.

“I like to win y/n. And I always win. This time will be no different. And I’ll make sure of it.”

He left the room just as the tears spilled over your cheeks. Because in order for Manny to win, someone would have to lose. He had made sure that only one person would come out of this scathed. You lost.

***

Seeing him on the other side of your door makes the gaping hole where your heart used to be throb. His curls are wilder than ever. There are bags beneath his eyes that are unlike anything you’d ever seen. He looked exhausted and sad and really beautiful even then. When he sees you he pulls up a smile that is so pathetic it hurts. But, it’s honest. It’s him giving all of himself to you, even when there’s damn near nothing left. To look at him now was to be in pain. And so you had to remind yourself that preservation was a Black woman’s armor. It was all you had left.

He smiled sadly as you leaned against your door not inviting him inside.

“Hi.” He whispered waving in his favorite clappy hand like motion that usually made you smile.

Not today.

“Hi.”

“I can explain. And I am so, so sorry that I disappeared but--”

“There’s no need.” You interrupted.

He shook his head. “No, y/n, I swear to you that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just needed time. I needed to clear my head and my fucking dad he--”

“I know. Shawn I know.” You mumbled. “He came to my office.”

Shawn’s eyes widened.

“He did what? What did he say to you?”

He reached for you and you stepped further behind the door causing Shawn to pause and stare at you. His face began to shift just as the puzzle pieces slid into place. As your lip trembled he raised his hands up in the air in a motion of defenselessness, as if he was waiting for you to spook and disappear at any moment. If only he knew.

“Y/n what’s going on?” He whispered, eyes wide open and scared. “Why won’t you let me touch you? W--Why can’t we go inside?”

You closed your eyes and breathed but it was pointless. The tears came in abundance now. His hand touched your cheek and you wished that it didn’t soothe you. Wouldn’t this all be easier if he didn’t soothe you so well.

“It’s over, Shawn.”

“What?” He mumbled, completely frozen into place. “What?”

You swallowed.

“It has to end. You and me, we’re done.”

“What are you talking about right now? Are you kidding me?” He sputtered. “I--love you. I love you with everything that I am, how could you say that to me?”  

You shake your head to try and dispel some of the sadness with the hopes that you could even get through this whole. The problem was you already felt yourself splintering, and the more room you gave him to fight, the more damaged the both of you would be.

“I’m sorry, but that doesn’t matter right now.”

You can tell by the look on his face that you’re crushing him. This fact only ruins you further, only make the pain sizzle deep in your gut. You’ve got nothing left to give. You’ve gotta give it all to him so that he can go on and be okay.  It’s for the best. It has to be.

“It does matter?! I love you! And you love me. And it doesn’t matter? Why are you doing this?!”

“Because  it...it’s the only way to give you everything you’ve always wanted. And I love you enough to give you that. Goodbye Shawn.”

“Y/n, wait can’t we please just--”

You close the door in his face. Everything is blurry around the edges. You sink down to the floor and cover your ears as if it might cover the sounds of him pounding on your door. The two of you cry and sob for the other. You knows there’s no fixing this. It’s done.

***

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[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 27: Honey, You Got a Big Storm Comin’!

It’s days before summer vacation but the intel students aren’t stressin’ as much as the hero class. I get summoned to help out.

-Wednesday night in the hero dorms-

“...and that’s how it should be written out” I said as I finished writing on the portable white board “remember! Use symbols for the graph so it’s easier to explain in the written part.”

“That’s so much easier!” cried out Sato “my brain feels like funnel cake trying to figure out the two.”

All of the hero class was huddled in the commons room to take note on all the tips and simplified explanations. “Any other questions?” I check the time “it’s literally past your bedtimes.”

“I believe that was everything on the review sheet” Tokoyami uttered as he scanned through his marked up work sheet.

“Alrighty then” I pack up my note books and markers “don’t hesitate to ask me anything about the material before your exam” the class gives a collective thumbs up “see y’all tomorrow at school.” I say before teleporting out.

“Man I wish she still lived with us” sighed Kirishima “then we could just knock on her door for help instead of accommodating her like this.”

“But it’s nearly summertime!” yawned Uraraka “we’re going to see a whole lot of her, I can feel it.”

-Friday, after school in the halls-

“Oof I don’t even know if I did well enough” Mina cried out as everyone walked down the hall “I wonder how Palma-san does it.”

“Seriously!” tiredly sighed Hagakure “she doesn’t even break a sweat over the material but her explanations did help.”

“Speaking of which” Asui spoke up “I wonder how she did on her exams, kero.”

“All she had to study for was her vehicle exam” Kaminari butted in “lucky for her, she gets all the fun.”

They get to the front of the school “Hey, isn’t that her?” Aoyama points to her as she fiddles with her bag speaker.

“Oh it is!” Kirishima waved to get her attention “HEY PALMA-SAN! YO!”

“Hmm? Oh hi yall!” she hollered back “how was the exam?”

“Tough! How do you do it?” Midoriya eagerly asked.

“Heh, yall clearly never fought for fun, played strategy games nor got into a sport” she slung on her backpack “back in America, all I did was strategy to win my daily fist fights from my siblings and played video games on hard mode” she let out a giggle “all just to make life less boring.”

“What are your plans for summer break Palma-san?” asked Sero, trying to change the subject.

“I guess just to stay cool and do some more training” she sighed “I have another practice exam and I need to hone my ability and get mentally and physically stronger.”

“When’s the exam?” asked Sato in awe.

“In December BUT that doesn’t mean I can slack my training” she puts up her fists “I gotta go sicko mode until I complete my exam.” She checks the time “oof gotta zoot! It’s my turn to cook dinner and I need a few things” she starts to roller skate away “bye yall!”

-Saturday late morning, hero dorms-

“Is there anything else I can assist you with Shinso” Iida chopped sternly at Shinso as he was led back to his new dorm.

“You covered everything” Shinso replied “I’ll just settle in for now.”

“Don’t hesitate to ask us for help, I’m 4 doors down if you need me.” Iida said as he walked to his dorm.

Shinso groaned as he closed the door of his dorm “what a drag that was! Palma-san was right, it is a pain in the ass to live with these kids.” He spoke to himself as he put his clothes away.

There was a knock on his door “Who is it?” 

“Special delivery~”

“From who?”

“Your next dorm neighbor!”

“I’m not opening the door!”

“That’s ok! I’ll just warp in!” in a blink of an eye, Palma teleports in her track shorts and graphic tee “Hi Shinso! Welcome to the neighborhood!”

“Oh it’s you!” Shinso chuckled “For a moment I thought I was getting pranked!”

“Trust me, nobody is going to prank you” she rolled her eyes “they’ll just knock on your door and pester you on dumb shit” she holds out a small cake box “here, I made you some treats as a welcome gift!”

“Thanks” he takes the box “hey do you know the forbidden rules of the dorms?”

“Of course I do” she stops herself from saying them, why does he want to know? “I’m guessing Iida mentioned something about them?”

“Something like that” he sets the box on the desk “I want to enjoy my time living here and I just want to know how far I can push the rules.”

“If you put it like that, sit down, it’s a lot to remember” she took a deep breath “lights out is at 8pm but that just means to turn-off the main lights in your rooms and not make noise. If you’re out here having sex in your dorm, I suggest putting the mattress on the floor for a non-incriminating session, side note from that, only UA students are allowed in the dorms and they have to leave before 10am the next day. You’re not allowed to go between dorm buildings unless accompanied by an intel student or it’s a training exercise. You can smoke BUT you have to do it on the roof and clean up after. Pets allowed but they must be under 80 pounds. And finally, anything that goes down in that far quarter of the shared field is fair game, the cameras don’t reach that far.”

“Interesting, I don’t think I’ll be sneaking in kitties since there’s already one here” smirked Shinso.

“OH! you met Catptain!” she gushed “isn’t he such a sweetie?!”

“Yea, Iida couldn’t shut up on how you convinced everyone to get one” he stopped and looked into her eyes “you two dating?”

“Nope”

“Do you like him?”

“As a friend, he’s made it clear that he sees me as a sibling.”

“Ouch” he gets close to her face “his loss, why would anybody leave you alone, pretty kitty” he rubbed her chin “you want to play, kitty?”

“Careful Shinso” she warned as she grabbed his hand to stop rubbing her chin “this kitty has claws and a naughty side” she mocked his tone “don’t play with me unless it’s for keeps.” she let out a giggle “but seriously, you can’t hang at the level I’m at” she turns to leave “maybe some other time.”

As he watched her walk out to the hallway, so did the other boys. “Shinso-kun no fair!” wailed Mineta “you’ve been visited by-” Kaminari put his hand on Mineta’s mouth.

“Shhh! you want Iida to hear?” Kaminari shushed “don’t forget what we’re trying to do!”

Aoyama turns to Shinso to clarify “we can’t utter her name within earshot of Iida-kun” his face gets gloomy “he dashes out every time, trying to find his princess” he strikes a dramatic pose “oh the forbidden love they carry in their hearts!~”

Tokoyami sighs “You forgot the important part Yuga” he turns to Shinso “all of us are trying to get him to confess to her” he stressfully rubs his furrowed brow “but every time he doubts himself even though he has very strong feelings toward her.”

“That’s not what Pal- I MEAN she told me” Shinso corrected himself “she told me that he sees her as a sibling.”

“A SIBLING?!” they all yelled.

“Yeah, but it was nice of her to bring me a welcome gift” Shinso bluntly said as he pointed to the box on the desk.

“Open the box Shinso-kun” Mineta demanded “if I’m correct, she might be eyeing you as her next object of affection.”

Shinso opens the box and his eyes widen “it’s cat paw cookies” he ate one and he lost his cool “damn, these are delicious! like, I can taste the love and effort she put into these.”

“So she is eyeing you” Sero narrows his eyes “Iida-kun really can’t talk to her.”

-Fast forward, Tuesday in the hero dorms-

“Hey Midoriya-kun” Shinso called out as he looked out to the shared field “what is she doing? It’s been a few days since I’ve noticed and I don’t know.”

“Hmm? Oh you’re talking about Palma-san and her squadron” Midoriya looked at what he’s looking at “they’re doing endurance and stamina training. Palma-san tells me that she never learned where she lands on the stamina scale.”

“Why is that a thing for her?” Shinso asked more confused than before.

“Well I did some research after what I learned about her quirks” he pulls out his notebook to the section on her “she has two quirks that drains body and mind, so her body is built to withstand extremes. So she has stamina that can last her through anything, lest she over-exerts herself with a copied quirk.” he closes his notebook and sighs “none of us could tire her out in battle, Shoto almost did but she lasted just enough before passing out.” he starts to mutter “it’s also worth noting that she can stay up 5 days with no sleep and can recover super fast. There’s basically nothing that can keep her down.”

Shinso processes this new info as he watches her bare-knuckle fight the skinny one “what else do you know about her?”

“She has a drivers license, doesn’t use her quirks in fights unless it’s necessary” he tries to think of more “well... she’s full of talents and surprises! Her program calls her Wild Card for her surprise elements.”

“With that type of power, why isn’t she a hero?”

“Beats me!” Midoriya sighs “Iida-kun, the teachers, and her squadron knows. Ask her if you’re that curious about it, that’s how I was able to write her section.”

Shinso spends the next few days just observing her training and other behaviors, not really paying attention to his new living situation.

“Oi Shinso!” Sero snaps Shinso out of his staring “do you play League of Legends by any chance?”

“No, why would I play something so geeky?” he responded with scorn.

“Aw, we wanted to build a bigger team to take down the intel team” Sero explained “it’s game night and Palma-sama and her team are coming over to play some LoL with us.” he points to Mineta, Kaminari, Sato and Tokoyami setting up the console and TV.

“Palma-san plays fantasy games with you?” Shinso arched his brow in confusion.

“Yep! We play all the time” Sato replied as he connected his controller “but she always beats us, she’s that good.”

At that moment, the intel team portaled in “We’re here!” Palma exclaimed “yall ready to get ya ass whooped!?”

“I brought fried rice!” Jin cried out as he lifts his dish in the air.

Shinso was awestruck on how not only she was winning round after round but also that she has so much personality. The question still burned in the back of his mind ‘why are you like this?’

-Fast Forward: Thursday, 4 days until school starts, at the pool deck-

“Aw heck the hero class is here too” Mimi whined as they walked up to the gate.

“Midnight did tell us that we’d have to share” Ita spoke up “ni modo! we need to do our endurance training.”

“I’m just nervous because we don’t have school issued swim suits” Jin looks at his swim trunks “I look like a weeb with these Naruto trunks.”

“Hi yall! Don’t mind us!” Ita yelled to as a distraction tactic to make Jin feel better.

“Ita! What brings you to the pool?” Iida pants as he pokes his head out from the water.

“The squad and I have some endurance training” she made a fist “plus I copied a water quirk, so that’ll be fun to train with!”

The 3 did some warm-ups before diving in. Everyone stopped to watch them unzip out of their track clothes to unveil their swimsuits. Ita was wearing a purple one piece, Mimi a green one piece and Jin in his Naruto swim trunks. They watched as Mimi and Jin jumped in first and Ita walking on the water.

“WOW! How are you doing that?!” cried out a bunch of the hero students.

“Oh, I just push the flow of the water up on the soles of my feet” she responded. After a few rounds of vigorous endurance exercises, the others notice that we didn’t do any swimming.

“Hold the phone!” Mineta hollered to stop our session “how come you don’t swim swim? Isn’t the whole point of using the pool deck is to swim!”

We looked at each other and laughed “Silly ball brain!” chortled Mimi “we’re the fastest swimmers in our program!”

“Yeah! There’s no point in doing laps if there’s no resistance in the water” wheezed Jin “we all learned to swim in the ocean as children.”

“Hell I bet we can swim with somebody on our backs and still be faster than any of you!” I cackled as the other two nodded their heads, agreeing with me.

“Oh yea!? We challenge you to a no-quirks lap relay!” Bakugo growled “it’s about time we take you down a few notches.”

“Oh it’s ON Blasty!” I growled back “my squad ain’t scared of y’all!”

“What’s the rules chief?” Jin asked as he swam to the marked lanes.

“No-quirks, 5 laps freestyle” Kirishima spoke up “first squad to finish is the victor.”

We get in our lanes and go up against Bakugo, Midoriya and Kirishima. And as expected, the hero squad lagged behind by 40 seconds.

“Oh wow!” I sarcastically stressed my words “looks like our place was in 1st.”

“I’ll get you next time!” Bakugo exploded “you can’t be good at everything!”

Shinso was overlooking everything in the shade, with his towel draped over his shoulders. He doesn’t fully understand why she’s the way she is, nothing is making sense and yet nobody is questioning either! Shinso decided that is was time to ask a certain someone about her.

-Later the same day, in the hero dorms-

Shinso knocks on Iida’s door.

“Come in!” Iida looks up from his book “Oh Shinso-kun, what brings you to my-”

Shinso cuts him off “Tell me everything you know about Palma-san.”

Iida glupped hard and shakily fixes his glasses “Well, she’s a pretty open person!” he struggles to keep his cool “you can ask her anything!”

“I’ve heard that you know the real reason why she’s in the intelligence program” Shinso takes a slow step forward “in fact, they all said that you confronted her and she lost her temper because of it” he takes another step “she won’t tell anybody else, so tell me lover boy, what is she hiding?!”

“I won’t!” Iida stands up to stop him from coming anything closer “I made a promise that I wouldn’t tell anybody her reasons” he takes off his glasses “she’s been through hell since coming here, she just wants good company and freedom to do what she wants.”

“Okay, so tell me this” Shinso had a sly smirk on his face “if you know so much about her, then why aren’t you her boyfriend?” he takes another step “I’ve seen you two interact and you’re all over her like a puppy!”

Iida was taken back “it’s inappropriate to be dating a classmate that has helped us the way she has!” blush creeped up on his face, incriminating himself “she’s my good friend that I care and admire!”

“It’s not like you to blush” he takes another step, just at arms reach of Iida “you’re hopelessly in love with her, admit it!”

“She’s just my-”

“Oh just a friend? Then you won’t mind if I walk over to her” Shinso points to the window, where you can see all of the intel students having a picnic on their side of the field “and ask her to go out with me.”

“DON’T!” Iida blurted before he could restrain himself “I mean- don’t because, um, you’re not her type.”

“Not her type?” Shinso was getting satisfied from breaking Iida down “so you think you’re her type?”

Iida sighed in defeat and sat back down in his desk chair “Okay, so I do like her and we spend a lot of time together” he puts his glasses back on “she’s just so...tiny and sweet and soft” he looks out the window “she smells like marshmallows and flowers, loves the beach, everything she makes is delicious, cries watching Pokemon movies, sleeps with 5 pillows” he sighs longingly “and her singing is angelic, like you’re in the presence of a goddess. Oh the things I’d do to keep her from harm, if she was my girlfriend, I’d be the happiest boy on earth.” 

“So what’s the problem?” Shinso raises an eyebrow.

Iida looks away from the window “I fear her rejection and ruining our friendship with my desire to be more” he made eye contact with Shinso “on top of all that, she’s still mourning the life she left behind in America. Confessing would be like insulting her in a way.”

“In mourning? What did she-”

“Look, all I have to say” Iida interrupted “she calls the shots and don’t pry information from her. I’m lucky enough to still be friends with her after all I’d done.”

“Hmm, I’ll keep that in mind” Shinso turns to leave “when I’m kissing her.”

-First day of 2nd term-

“Man, this extra desk is really bothering me” Kaminari commented as they waited for the last class of the day to start “like why is it all the way in the middle of the row?”

“That’s Palma-san’s seat” Jiro spoke up “that’s where she lies on the class ranking if she was in the hero program.”

“I heard that Midnight arranged it like that because she favors her” Momo whispered to Mina “how lucky that Palma-san is!”

In an instant, she teleports in “Hi yall!”

“Yay you’re here!” the girls cheered.

“Oh, is that my seat?!” I look at the surrounding desks “looks like we’re still desk buddies Kirishima.”

“EVERYONE TO YOUR SEATS! CLASS IS ABOUT TO-” Iida announced as he rushed in the class but stopped when he saw Ita sit down. “What a surprise! Our dear classmate has arrived!”

“Tenya sit down!” I scolded “you’re embarrassing me~”

“He has reason to be praising” Aizawa walked in with a stack of papers “you helped raise the class average” he set the papers down “but let see if you can all upkeep that in this half.”

“Your tutoring really helped!” Mina jumped “I got my first 90 percent since starting here.”

Class started and I saw that I was seated between Shinso and Iida. So I got a nice view of the back of Shinso’s head and his backpack and Iida was lucky enough to see the top of my head with all my curls resting on my shoulders. Sensei explained the course and all the off-campus training.

“...and we’re going to have dress out training twice a week” the class groaned when he said that “I don’t want to hear how awful it is! This section is important to hero work.”

I raised my hand.

“Oh? Yes Palma-san?” surprised by my hand, Aizawa called upon me.

“Do I dress out with support items too? Or will I have restrictions again?”

“The same restrictions apply but you do have to dress out like you are going on a mission outside of school” Aizawa explained “so your unmarked jumpsuit and belt will be kept here when you dress out for convenience.”

“Okay, thank you sensei.”

“Moving on, today, we’re going to have some confrontation practice with Cementoss.”

I raise my hand again.

“That includes you too Palma-san” he groaned “as much as it’s not part of your line of work, you unfortunately have to do everything they do this term.”

“Well that’s wack” I dropped my hand and pouted “whatever! I’ll play along.”

We get in our gym clothes and meet with Cementoss in the field. The instructions were clear enough, announce your confrontation to the ‘villain’ and you get graded off that. Things got fucky when it got to my turn.

“Okay Miss Palma, I know its not in your line of work but” Cementoss gestured to his makeshift villain dummy “what do you say when you see the villain?”

I took a dramatic pose and said “Eat my ass, pew!” finger gun and everything. The mix of gasps and laugher boosted my cockiness a bit, even Aizawa was laughing. 

“MISS PALMA! We don’t use that language when confronting villains!” Cementoss scolded me.

“Why not? It stuns the villain and the villain can go and eat my ass!” I pouted “I wanted to sit this one out! Should’ve listened to me.”

“It’s true!” Aizawa was coming down from his laughing fit “don’t forget that she’s an agent, technically she’s not supposed to say anything when she comes across a villain.”

“Okay, so what do you do when you see the villain?” Cementoss asks me directly.

I take off my shoes “pretend these are guns” and I make gun noises and pretend to be contacting the sniper team on my earpiece. I took it too far by adding my own dramatics “OH NO! He’s got a gun! I gotta take the hostages to safety!” I gather everyone with my telekinesis and pretended to do the timer gun trick “vaya con Dios PUTO!” I sling the shoe and it hit the dummy on the neck. I mimic the noises and run around a bit “villain has been decommissioned, hostages are secured, my job is done here, requesting retrieving squad.”

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO JUST SHOOT?!” cried out Sato.

“Um yea” I said as I set them down “that’s why we get guns but since I’m a raid and combat agent, I get other cool things like tranquilizers and tasers.”

“To be fair” Aizawa turned to Cementoss “she did her part as an agent, full points for her.”

We did the rest of the exercise and headed in a little early. I was the last one back to the class because I got a vocal warning from Cementoss about my language.

“Hey Palma-san!” Shinso stood in front of my desk as I got my bag.

“Oh hi Shinso” I waved as I slung my bag on my back.

“Are you walking today?” he asked a bit awkwardly “I was hoping maybe we could walk to the dorms together.”

“Sure, but I walk slow”

“Fine by me” he chuckled “more time to talk!” When we started walking, he soon saw what I meant by I walk slow. “You weren’t kidding!” he stood and waited for the 5th time in the last 100 yards “is that why he holds your hand?”

“Who? OH you mean Tenya!” I panted a bit as I trotted up to him “yea, but he can out walk anybody.”

“Hmm, you call him by his first name a lot”

“Yea we do that” we started walking again “I understand that calling somebody by their first name is a bit disrespectful but he asked for permission to call me by my preferred name.”

“Which is?”

“Ita, it’s short for Itati” I put some pep to my step “my parents call me by that name because I grew up very short and sweet, just like the name.”

“Mind if I call you that?”

“Sure, can I call you Hitoshi?”

“Sure.”

“Coolio!” I didn’t talk for a short pause “fair warning, I’m gonna shorten and baby-ify your name as endearment.”

“I welcome it” he laughed and looked at her “I see that you get special treatment from the others, must be nice.”

“Eh, it’s not” I stretch out my arms to crack them “I get scolded way more just for following my program’s rules in that class” flashbacks of getting scolded by Tenya replay in my head “it’s mostly Tenya that does the scolding” I mock his chops and voice “Ita! It’s against code to be flashing your chest as distraction! Ita! You can’t keep sneaking out like that on a school night!”

“Heh good one but I can do you one better” he clears his throat and squares his shoulders “Shinso-kun! We eat meals together as a class! Shinso-kun! Don’t do laundry at 3am, it disrupts our sleep! Curfew is 8pm!”

I start howling in laughter “Oh jeez that was spot on!” tears well up in my eyes because of how hard I was laughing “my tummy hurts HOO!” 

Shinso looks at her laughing her head off and starts to see what Tenya means. She’s genuine and like an open book, her laugh is tugging at his heartstrings. ‘Maybe Iida is just a coward’ Shinso thinks to himself ‘or maybe she doesn’t like him after all, hmmm, she’ll be mine in no time.’

“We should spend an evening together sometime” he spoke up.

“That sounds nice” I said, picking up on his hint “I’d love that.”

He picks up on her interest “Cool, I thought you might” he chuckles a bit “to be honest, living in the dorms kinda sucks and I need to spend time with someone that doesn’t ask me dumb questions about my habits and quirk.”

“Oof that sounds familiar” I rolled my eyes but looked up at him “but just send me a text and I’d be down with whatever, I know all the cool spots.”

We walk up to the dorms and part ways to our rooms. I get excited that somebody is finally being more forward with their interest in me. For the first time in a long time, it feels like the right person came along. He doesn’t want to change me nor smothers me....you could say that I’m falling for him but we’ll see how that plays out.

-End Chapter 27-

<Previous - Next>      

[roseamongroses]

PP part (4) : “two secrets and other lies we told ourselves without realizing “

Warnings: Lowkey life related crisis, Self doubt,  cursing, jealousy but not in the way you think tbh

Characters: Remy Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, (Mentioned: Deceit: goes by Eaton)

backround pairings: Remy/Patton, Roman/Logan, Virgil/ His vintage car seats, his career, and his cats

p(1) p(2) p(3) 

Ao3

On paper, Patton and Roman were just friends

Eyes narrowed, Patton crammed another chunk of cake in his mouth, brushing away the crumbs with the sleeve of his newly finished knitted sweater.

Across the table his boyfriend, sighed, rolling his eyes,  “You’re not  going to convince me by throwing a tantrum,” He huffed, giving a pointed look over his tinted frames, jabbing his own barely touched cake with his finger for emphasis,  “Look, girl, girl, you put too much damn vanilla in this.”

“I did not,” Patton swallowed, sniffing through the pain, “You’re just being mean.”

Remy scoffed, smiling, “Sure thing babe, “ he leaned over swiping some of Patton’s icing that escaped onto his face, tongue flicking out to taste that abomination of humanity, “Totally not,”

“Ugh, “ He batted Remy’s hands away, “No respect in this house I swear-” His nose curled, eyes darting to the kitchen, his kitchen, “My chocolate muffins shi-” He sprung from his chair, darting out the room, table and it’s random array of various holiday-themed ornaments clattering dangerously .

After a few dozen noticeable crashes from the danger zone, Remy's phone buzzed. Easily slipping  it out, Remy glanced towards the kitchen before eying the string of texts, “Bitch,” he frowned, noting the recent timestamps of the vague as hell texts, “Ugh, this tea better be strong.”

He sighed, brushing off the remaining crumbs from his leather jacket, pushing his shades further up the bridge of his nose, he stood up, humming as he strolled to the door.

Swinging it open, he scowled, amused, “Isn’t it my favorite trash-man, what’s this? Late.” He tsked, moving to let Virgil inside.

“Shut your face,” Virgil sneered, quietly shutting the door behind him, not bothering to remove his jacket, “Weren’t you the man who was late to a dinner date at his own house?” His eyes narrowed, fighting the smile automatically curling on his face.

“I was seeing the sights,” Remy shrugged, lazily making his way back to the table.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil follows suit picking the seat closest to the door, “Remy, you disaster, you were in the house.”

“So,” said disaster clasped his hands, looking like a bored madman, “Where are these complications and how are they so complicated that you didn’t even spill over text?”

“Drama rat.”

“Correct, now did these complications involve the chess discourse or do they involve 80-year-old women threatening to destroy someone’s legacy from the source.”

“Neither,” Virgil said, reaching to steal Remy’s cake, which he pushed towards him gladly, “Though Lucy is pissed you didn’t visit last week,” he carelessly bit into a large chunk, face souring immediately, but swallowing nonetheless.

“Hey, this drama rat has to pay his bills.”

“Excuses, excuses,” Virgil ate another chunk with more visible ease, “Prince and Prince Charming are in the car,”  he grumbled, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What are they making out all over your vintage seats or something?”

“I wish,” Virgil snorted, “They’ve been talking nerd the entire way, and that’d be fine if they didn’t somehow manage to shove their unresolved romantic- sexual shit into it.”

“Ah, I remember those days,” Remy almost swooned in distaste, “How long have those two have been pining? One? Two months or something?”

Virgil stared at him, slowly placing his fork down, blinking slowly, “Try... five... years.”  he said as if the reality had just dawned on him.

He picked up his fork again, slamming it down for emphasis, “Five fucking years, holy shit. I’m done with Roman and his dramatic bullfuckshittery, fuck thi...and Logan. Logan. Nevermind I should’ve expected this...then again they aren't really obligated to define themselves, but my seats are too delicate to handle them avoiding it completely like they are--” his eyes were glazed, as he continued mumbled rant of vague curses.

Patton chose that moment to peek out of the kitchen, satin bonnet now on,  smudges decorating his face, and soft hazel eyes holding a deathly gleam, “Did you just say Roman?”

Remy smiled sweetly, shooting Virgil a glare, “Yes, Roman, who just landed in Italy,  right Virgil?”, meanwhile, he internally pleads for Virgil to shut the fuck up.

Virgil flushed, avoiding Patton’s curious gaze, “R-right, Italy--Italy. You know this cake is really good Patton let’s talk about that and not Roman, who is in Italy. Rome. Like his name...” he said, stuffing another scoop of the overtly flavored cake in his mouth.

Sensing weakness, Patton narrowed his attention onto Virgil, who unlike Eaton, could hardly manage to tell any less than the truth. It’s what Patton had always liked about Virgil. Especially moments like now, when Remy couldn’t sass his way out of interrogations.

“Virge,” Patton tilted his head, just a bit, batting his eyelashes, “You wouldn’t know if Roman, who I love more then anything-”

“The fuck am I?” Remy scoffed, not surprised

“Boyf-best-friend is different then Best-best-friend, love-” Patton corrected, not missing how Virgil none too subtly tried to fade into the furniture, “So, if I text him now he wouldn’t tell me he’s outside?”

“I….Uh.” Virgil looked to Remy for assistance.

They both knew the only other person worse then Virgil at keeping secrets from Patton was Roman. Not because he couldn’t lie for shit, hell he could give Eaton a run for his money if the chips were down. No, it was more like Roman would actually kill a man before he willingly disappointed Patton, even for a surprise.

Remy looked away like a goddamn traitor.

And that was enough evidence for Patton to go power walking out the door, not even bothering to put on shoes. By the time the other two had trudged out there, Virgil briefly raiding the kitchen beforehand, Patton was a bundle of giggles, excitedly chattering and bounding around the guest. Roman looking pleased, face flushed and beaming, and Logan looking vaguely disoriented, standing behind Roman as if Patton would bite.

‘Which he does.’ Remy smiled, standing in the doorway, eyes appreciatively watching his boyfriend’s freckled face, his initial irritation washing away.

“Ugh, stop giving me oogies,” Virgil blandly complained, not really looking up from his popcorn, “ I thought you said you ate your emotions.”

“I do. Without remorse,” Remy said, watching Patton’s attempts to talk to Logan, “--but he’s like, really cute though, look at him he’s like a puppy— it’s  hella  unfair.”

“Excuses,” Virgil glanced at Patton, who still wore that damned sweater dress, despite the rapidly fading brief winter weather, “Valid as they are—“ he admitted between mouthfuls, “Are still excuses yah filthy gremlin. Just admit it, you’re old and full of icky emotions like the rest of us.”

Remy scoffed, looking over his sunglasses appalled and mouth open for rebuttal, but whatever not teen rated thing he had to say was halted all as once as Patton twirled around, beckoning him to greet their guests.

Remy slid away quick with a bit too much skip in his “cool guy” walk to even be considered casual.

Virgil rolling his eyes and stubbornly remaining in the air conditioning called out, “You fucking softie..”

“You bet your vintage ass I am,” Remy said, flipping him off before sliding an arm around Patron guiding him and their honored guest inside.

Watching the clouds gather outside, Virgil knew it was going to be a long night.

-

Patton sighed into the cheap lawn chair they kept on the porch, the soft rolling of thunder, and the soft thuds of the incoming rain a familiar accompaniment as he lazily stirred his tea. It was strange to think that the holidays used to feel so...draining.

A lot of the time he spent it trying to ignore the overwhelming loneliness it brought seeing the whole world past lights blazing, laughing easy. Even when he was offered a place to spend the days with Roman and his parents or Virgil and his grandmother, even the rare occasions Eaton offered to let him hang out with their group of friends, it felt like he was intruding in someone else’s moment.

But now...the moment felt all his. It wasn’t the flashy lights or dramatic public displays, it wasn’t traveling the world, throwing himself headfirst into whatever life gave. it was something softer, comfortable. And he loved it.  So he didn’t understand why he felt so…

“Oh, Patt, there you are,”  the screen door opened, Roman ducking outside easily.

Patton swallowed, setting his tea aside, “Yea, Virge kicked me out of the kitchen,” he sniffed, “-and I don’t drink at every possible occasion, unlike some people.”

“Hey, hey, is that judgment?” Roman gasped, sitting in the other chair gayly, feet somehow propping themselves up while simultaneously maintaining an air of politeness, “Or-or, is it you're mad that shades and you lost?

“Oh I’m not judging,” Patton hummed, judgmentally, “I’m just saying that shoving Remy off the couch, while he was already tipsy is a questionable method at winning Mario Cart.”

“Virgil promised me a dollar if I did, that’s a lie I did it for free.” Roman shrugged, taking down his messy bun and threading his hands through his hair, “Anyway! Shades and Specs are sulking because I kicked their asses once again and, now, ugh!  Refuse to give me any more attention, “ he whined, slumping further into his seat, “Patton, I needed attention, I can feel my youth draining already.”

Patton snorted, “What about Virgil?”

“He’s sleeping like a babe,” Roman scratched his chin, “A very loud grumpy babe, who hissed when I  moved him upstairs because he can’t admit he likes being carried.”

“So I’m your last choice?” Patton said, “I’m hurt.”

“You shouldn’t and you weren’t,” he said, “I would’ve bugged you earlier but Remy threatened to slice me like a cake if I disturbed your peace. “ He sniffed, “The nerve, me? Disturbing the peace? I’m a delight.”

“Well, there was second grade when…”

Roman’s face flushed, “I was a kid, a very justified, gay kid.”

“Mhm, that’s what you always say,” Patton said, grinning, “How about that time at the park, with Ms. Flores. -”

“She might be old, may she be at peace, but she was petty and I never fail to rise to the challenge.” he crossed his arms, “And don’t mhm me, it was second grade! I’m allowed to have crushes, even if they have abysmal taste in writing.”

“Now that I think about it you’ve had crushes on a lot of our friends, most turned into squishes but... hmm..” he sipped his tea content, “Virgil, Eaton, Nate, Terrence-”

“Pat, please no, you said you loved me,” Roman groaned through his hands.

“I think me at one point?” Patton said, setting his cup down, “Don’t know why though…”

“I was five,” He huffed, “And you are cutest out of all of them.”

“Mhm, sounds fake, but that ring pop was pretty, plus,” Patton said, before adding on a bit more quietly, “I think it’s cute you had so much love to give,” He curled into the seat tighter, that creeping unease settling on him as easily as he pushed it away.

“Huh,” Roman paused, “I thought I was just...flaky.”

“No…” Patton frowned, “No. You are not a flake Roman, you throw yourself into everything, into everyone. You didn’t stop loving your crushes, you just love them a different way."

"No relationship is ever just…” Patton's voice hitched, “ no person is just a stepping stone for you. Well,” he forced a laugh, “At least I hope not, you have gotten pretty big online...you travel all the time, meet people all the time. Your career’s bigger than anything I've made in the workshop…”

Ah, that’s the feeling.

Not jealous….just…less. Too slow. Not enough. He was almost 30 after all, what has he to show, what has he done?

“Uh, Patton amour, pardon my french, but that’s bullshit,” Roman said, brow furrowed and trained on him.

“Wha-?”

“It's,” Roman leaned closer, “Bull-” he said, “Shit.”

Before Patton could finish gaping and respond, Roman jumped in, “Did you or did you not pay and work your way to college?”

“It was a community college-”

“It was unthinkable for you. Remember? You expected to fail high school, to barely get your GED.”

Patton smiled sadly, “I hated school.”

“As you should, some, not Mrs. Huang she was a saint,  those teachers were fucking obnoxious shits with only a diploma shoved up their--”

Roman grumbled shaking his head, “Let it go-Let it go-Let it fucking go--,” he half sang, “Anyway, you hated the system, but you worked it. You graduated, went to college with little support at home. And got a whole job.”

“Roman I…” Patton slumped, “That’s great, wonderful, fantastic, but got that job I expected to...move on, to make a change, now I don’t have any expectations at all. I don’t have a growing career…”

“No, but you have a stable one.” Roman said, hugging himself, “Sure, my growth might be a bit much...but that’s all I have right now. Growth. Nothing’s stable, nothing’s set in stone...nothing is ...mine.”

“Roman…”

“No, I’m not being self-deprecative...I think. It’s just,” Roman sighed, rocking in his seat, “When my blog’s gone when my videos are gone when my friends all around the world start to settle down what do I have to show my progress?

"Patton, you have a home, a community you support and see every day, a fiance who loves you as much as you love him. I love my life to death, I’m thankful I can even have it, but sometimes, a lot of times, I think. Shocking, yes, but I think."

"About when I’m old, about when I’m dying, about when I don’t want to do this anymore. When I just want to settle down and just rest I--” He laughed, body jerking unnaturally," Will I even have a chance? None of it seems real now…And I-” he squeaked, Patton plopping into his lap.

“Pat-” Roman whined, “I --Ugh, sorry I was supposed to let you sulk,” Patton rested his head on  Roman’s shoulder, playing with his hands.

“We can sulk like this,” Patton said, throat tight, “Being sad with friends is a preference of mine.”

“Even if it solves nothing?”

Patton closed his eyes, “Who says we have to solve anything?”

Because in the end, they were just Patton and Roman

[ditzydiitsi]

soc runaways au

gert is kaz i do not take constructive criticism (old lace is a normal ass crow that follows her around)

everything else open to constructive criticism/im doing this by the roles the characters play and not necessarily their personalities

karolinas the heartrender (hear me out). shes :/ at gert and gerts :/ at her and they only work together because karolinas fucking gone for gerts hot spy

nicos the spy/wraith and also shes i n l ove (when gert sent nico to recruit karolina she was like oh no. oh fuck)

chase is the inventor/runaway w a shit dad that hates him and he cant read and gert feels bad for him and gets him gigs w the dregs and she eventually falls in love w him

mollys the convict who platonically lesbian bonded w karolina after they saved each others lives (mollys a tidemaker born to fjerdan nobles, she was hidden for years until the govt found out and had her parents killed and shipped her off)

karolina rescuing molly: ive only known molly for 5 minutes but if anything happened to her i would literally die bc shes keeping me alive

just nina and matthias without the ~sexy~ subplot basically kjfdshkdf

alex is the sharpshooter w a gambling problem who gets picked up by gert for his under the table fabrikator skills and ends up befriending chase and karolina pretty well

rest under cut

undecided abt the precise amt of chas*lina and al*xnico but vaguely little to none

victor stein: i need u to break into the ice court gert: ur request has been received and is now being processed. please wait 3-5 business days for a reply

karolina and molly r like. SAME GRISHA and they were on the same boat when it shipwrecked and they kept each other alive through their extremely dangerous backjourney through fjerda, karolina cant go back to ravka because mollys family is completely dead and shes not gonna leave this 14 year old girl in a dangerous city by herself and she cant take molly to ravka bc shes an active member of the army so like. guess i better work in a brothel

gert and molly fucking bond tho cause by the end shes living it up w chase and gert

the scene where nina heals inej after inej almost dies on the docks??? yeah that

“you never even thanked me.” “thank you, karolina. I owe you a life debt”

breaking into the ice court,,, god

nico crawling up that furnace shaft,,, alex just booking it to karolina and molly when they all bust out of their cells,

idk who jordie is in this au dont @ me

fucken nico and chase and alex driving a TANK

karolina: trying to be sexy and succeeding and crying bc Lesbian and she does Not want this man staring at her tits

gert: FUCK your sexism FUCK your religion and FUCK YOUR TREE

its eight billion percent in character for karolina to take the parem to escape the ice court do NOT fight me on this i do NOT take constructive criticism

victor stein: haha it was a TRAP gert: oh no u caught us what ever shall we do nico: gets kidnapped gert: gert: fuck im never gonna hear the end of this

i dont know who kuwei is dont ask me any more questions

chase finding his mom, , , in the asylum ,  ,    ,,,yea i m weepin

karolina would have SUCH a crisis over her powers changing like yeah nina was upset but she got over it pretty quickly imo,  ,,,karolina would have a whole crisis and be absolutely devastated

karolina rescuing nico from falling off the silo w her army of the dead and nicos just lying there like CAN SHE DO THAT TO MY PUSSY????

the bit w kaz and wylan breaking into the van eck mansion. yeah

gert and chase falling dramatically through the ACID ceiling onto the dinner table

alex: so. youve come to learn about zemini oil futures

karolina would deadass make out w nico while gert just absolutely destroys the fuck out of jonah

gert: i know where ur missing daughter is and if u dont leave right the fuck now and never come back i will kill her karolina from the other room: FUCK THAT BITCH!!!!! SNATCH HIM!!!!!

gert hates jonah as an aside in this au. victor stein is That Bitch that she hates w a fervor

gert is Dirtyhands queen of the barrel and her boyfriend just HAPPENS to be the heir of a vast economic empire

karolina and nico??? wlw pirates beating up slavers and rapists??????????? yes

chase, who knows full well gert has adopted molly as her sister: hey can u come get old lace shes eating dog food molly: ur not my dad

alex is probably chilling at home w his dad now idk

[whattheheartwantsrevamp]

Chapter 11

It’s been a few days since Ciara’s mother passed away and she has been taking it hard, as expected. Nina’s parents graciously paid to give her mom a proper burial and since she didn’t have anyone but Ci left there was no need for a funeral. I know it’s going to take a while for her to get back to herself but seeing her like this really breaks my heart. She’s such a good person but she just can’t seem to catch a break. I pray that she doesn’t let this break her.

I send her a quick good morning text as I walk through the school doors. I make my way over to my locker where I see Nina, Earl, Deshawn, and Jermaine standing.

“Good morning.” I say greeting all of them as I open my locker and they all greet me back.

“Hey, are we still taking Ciara out for dinner tonight?” Jermaine asks and I nod my head. Nina and I thought it would be a good idea to take her out to try to get her mind off of everything. Nina told us that Ci was talking about how alone she feels now and we’ve been trying to do whatever we can just to help her see that she isn’t. That includes showering her with balloons, flowers and stuffed animals. We figured that we’ll try to do something different.

“How is she doing?” Deshawn asks Nina and she sighs.

“Not good. She has been staying in my room and she cries herself to sleep every night.” Nina answers softly and he shakes his head. I look towards the door and I see Ciara walking in with Doug.

“I didn’t know she was coming to school today.” I say to Nina and she nods her head. “She wasn’t supposed to be. The school gave her 5 excused bereavement days.” Nina says as they make their way over to us.

“Hey.” She greets us softly with a small smile as she gives everyone a hug. She gives me a small smile before hugging me tightly.

“How are you?” I ask before pecking her forehead.

“I’m here. I’m just taking it one day at a time.” She says and I nod my head as I let her go.

“I thought you were staying home today?” Nina asks and Ci shakes her head.

“I was but I couldn’t handle being there, alone, with nothing but my thoughts. I need a distraction.” Ci answers and Nina nods her head understandingly.

“We’re all happy that you’re here.” Jermaine says with a small smile and Ci thanks him.

“And we’re taking you out to dinner tonight.” Doug says and she shakes her head.

“You guys do not have to do that. Y’all have done enough already.” She says softly.

“We want to do this. We know you’re going through a tough time right now and we just want to try to make you feel better.” Earl says and she gives him a small smile.

“Thank you all for being here for me. I don’t know how I would have ever gotten through this without y’all.” She says sincerely and Nina hugs her tightly.

“You don’t have to thank us. I know that your mom was the only real family that you had and I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. We just want you to know that you’re not alone.” I say as Nina lets her go and she nods her head.

“Yea. You’re like a sister to us now.” Doug says as he drapes his arm across her shoulder and the guys agree. I feel a tap on my shoulders and I roll my eyes when I see Ashton standing behind me. Hey Russell. How are you?” She asks with a smile on her face. “I’m good. I’m kinda in the middle of something right now though.” I say as I motion towards Ciara and my friends. She looks at them and rolls her eyes.

“I’m sure whatever y’all are talking about isn’t important but I just wanted to invite you to my party this weekend, after the scrimmage game.” She says and I shake my head.

“Thanks for the invite but I’m not going to be able to make it.” I say as I go to turn back to my friends but she grabs my arm, stopping me. “You know what, ever since you started talking to that bitch, you’ve been blowing me off and I’m really getting sick of it.” She says referring to Ci. I look around and I see a few people starting to look our way.

“Seriously Ashton, now is not the time for this.” I say to her as I feel myself starting to become angry.

“He was blowing you off before we even started talking to Ci so you can’t blame her for this.” Doug says making him side eye her.

“What’s so special about her Russell? Are you just being nice because she has like 1 friend? Or do you feel sorry for her because she’s a hood rat?” Ashton says as she looks at Ci with disgust on her face.

“I’m really not in the mood for this.” Ciara says softly before as she grabs her backpack and tried to walk away.

“Don’t you dare walk away while I’m talking to you.” Ashton says as she grabs Ciara’s backpack hard, pulling her back.

“What is your problem?” Ciara asks with anger as her backpack hits the ground. Ashton raises her eyebrow as she chuckles.

“Well look who finally decided to speak up for herself.” Ashton says and she claps dramatically, causing a scene. I shake my head as I pick up Ci’s bag and grab her wrist gently.

“Seriously Ashton, back off. Today is not the day for this.” I say firmly and Ashton runs her fingers through her hair.

“Really Russell, you’re really going to stand here and defend this trash? She’s not good enough for you and you know it. She’s just using you as a way to get out of the hood and away from her crackhead ass mother.” Ashton says loudly and the students standing around gasp in surprise.

“Yea, I knew that was your mother begging for money a while back. It was really pathetic, honestly. Now correct me if I’m wrong but she is on crack right? Or is it heroin? Or does she do whatever drug she can get her hands on? Instead of trying so hard to get a guy that you know is out of your league, maybe you should be worried about taking care of your mother before she overdoses and dies.” She says with a smirk on her face. Before I can even fully process what she says Ciara gets out of my grip and charges towards Ashton, tackling her to the ground. Nina and other students cheer her on as she punches Ashton repeatedly in her face. Ashton cries out in pain as she tries to block the punches. Ashton reaches up and scratches Ci’s face and Ci slaps her so hard the sound echoes down the hall.

“Stop Ci.” I say as I wrap my arms around her waist and I pull her off of Ashton.

“What’s going on here?!” Principal Williams says angrily as he makes his way over to us, with a security guard trailing behind him.

“She just attacked me!” Ashton says as she wipes her blood lip.

“She did principal Williams. It’s like she just snapped or something. She’s dangerous.” Elise says as she helps Ashton up.

“That’s not what happened and you know it. If anything Ashton had this coming for a while.” I say and Ashton looks at me in disbelief.

“Seriously Russell?” She says softly and I nod my head.

“No matter how much we have told you to stop and leave her alone, you just kept pushing her. This was going to happen eventually.” I say and she rolls her eyes. Principal Williams looks at Ci who is still in my arms, shaking with anger as tears continuously fall from her eyes.

“Take both of them to my office.” Principal Williams says to the security guard. I let Ciara go and she wipes her face as best as she can before walking down the hallway with the security guard.

“Did that really just happen?” I ask our friends and they nod their heads, still shocked at what just went down.

“I’ve been waiting on that since Freshmen year. I always knew that girl was going to push her too far one day.” Nina says and I nod my head in agreement. “And I got it all on camera.” Doug says with a smile as he gives his phone to Principal Williams.

  ______________________________________________________________

Sitting in the principal’s office right next to Ashton, is giving me so much anxiety. I look down at my bruised knuckles and I shake my head. I can’t believe I let her push me to that point but I lost all control. I completely blacked out. I really can’t believe she said those things about my mama. She’s such a disgusting and ugly person. My eyes start to tear up as her words replay in my mind. Ashton hisses as she places ice on her bruised cheek.

“This is all your fault.” She says as she looks over at me.

“I never knew that just my existence could make someone hate me so much. I’ve never done or said anything to you to make you treat me the way that you.” I say as I cry a little and she rolls her eyes. A few minutes pass and Principal Williams walks in with the guidance counselor Mrs. Spearmen behind her.

“I’m pretty sure you both are aware that we have a zero-violence policy here and what happened a few minutes ago is unacceptable. I’m very surprised and slightly disappointed that our top student would be involved in something like this.” He says and I lower my head in shame.

“But we also have a no bullying policy here as well Ashton and your behavior was disappointing as well.” He says and Ashton looks at him in surprise

“Excuse me? What behavior? I was attacked by this person that y’all approved to go to school here. I’m the victim.” She says and shake my head.

“You’re not a victim Ashton. You’re an insensitive, spoiled brat. You think that you can say and do anything to people without facing the consequences and you can’t. That’s not how life works. I just found out that my mother died just a few days ago and when you said what you said about her, I blacked out but I don’t apologize for that.” I say through my tears as I wipe my face.

“Wh..what? I didn’t know she died.” Ashton says, her voice barely above a whisper.

“That’s the thing about people like you. You never think about what someone else could be going through. You just continuously belittle and pick on people until someone snaps and either hurts themselves or someone else. Then instead of taking responsibilities for your actions, you place the victim.” I say as I shake my head.

“That’s enough. We saw videos of you provoking Ciara and we’ve also heard from different students that you have been bullying her for a while. You started this fight Ashton and now you have to face the consequences. We’re suspending you for a week.” He says as he fills out her paper work.

“Suspension? Are you crazy? You can’t suspend me. Wait until I tell my father about this. You’ll be looking for a new job.” Ashton says angrily.

“We spoke with your parents already and they actually agree with your suspension. From this point on, for 7 days, you are not allowed on this campus. Can you please escort her to her car?” He says to the security guard and he nods his head before escorting Ashton out of the office.

“Now Ciara, although your actions weren’t the best we’re not going to suspend you.” He says and I look at him in surprise.

“Really?” I say and he nods his head.

“We know that you recently lost your mother and we are so sorry. It was a very brave decision to come back to school so soon but we don’t think you’re ready yet because you haven’t had time to properly grieve. So instead of suspending you we’re going to make it mandatory that you take your 5 days of grieving that is in our policy.” Mrs. Spearman says with a small smile on her face.

“How is this different from suspension?” I ask, confused.

“Well it won’t be on your record and you won’t be penalized for any classes, assignments, or tests that you miss. You really need to take this time to grieve and prepare yourself to be around others. Do you understand?” She asks and I nod my head.

“Can I leave now?” I ask and she nods her head.

“Yes. And if you need to talk or anything like that when you come back. Feel free to come and see me.” Mrs. Spearman says with a comforting smile. I nod my head before leaving the office and I’m instantly greeted by Russell and Nina.

“Aren’t y’all supposed to be in homeroom?” I ask as they walk over to me and Russell hugs me tightly. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I enjoy the feeling of his arms wrapped around me.

“Yea but we had to check on you before we went.” He says as he lets me go. “How did it go in there?” Nina asks as she hugs me.

“Okay, I guess. They’re making me take 5 grieving days.” I say as she lets me go.

“I told you to stay at home today.” Nina says and I chuckle.

“Are you okay?” Russell asks and I shake my head.

“Not really. I just can’t believe she would say those things to me. And now I have to do what I didn’t want to do in the first place which is stay home by myself.” I say as I put my backpack on.

“Well when I get home, we’ll order pizza and watch all of your favorite movies.” Nina says and I chuckle before nodding my head.

“That sounds good. Y’all seriously need to get to class.” I say as I look at the time.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car?” Russell asks and I shake my head. “No, but thank you though.” I say as I give him a small smile.

“I’ll call you when I get out of football practice.” He says before pecking my forehead gently.

“Make sure you put some ice on your knuckles.” He says jokingly making me laugh.

“I will.” I reply before we all walk our separate ways. I get into my car and suddenly I’m feeling overwhelmed as tears begin to fall from my eyes. These last few days have been too much and I’m not sure how I’m going to get through this. I wipe my face as best as I can before driving off. With no intentions of going back to Nina’s house, I end up in my neighborhood at the alley that they found my mom dead in. I take a deep breath before getting out of the car and I slowly begin walking down the alley. I look around and all I can picture is her lying on the ground, dead. I cover my mouth as I begin to sob loudly. The pain that I’m feeling is indescribable and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy.

“Ciara?” A voice calls out to me and I turn around and I see August standing behind me. I run into his arms and I hug him tightly as I cry in his chest. 

“You don’t need to be over here torturing yourself like this.” He says softly as he rubs my back.

“I know how you’re feeling Ci. You couldn’t save her.” He says and I cry harder, knowing that it’s the truth. He holds me a little longer before pulling away and I try to calm down as I wipe my face.

“Where have you been staying?” He asks as he begins to walk me back to my car.

“At a friend’s house on the other side of town.” I say and he nods his head.

“Good. You don’t need to be over here anyways. I don’t want to see you back on this side of town, you hear me?” He says and I hesitate before nodding my head.

“I know it hurts right now but don’t give up. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. You have so much to live for.” He says and I nod my head again. He gives me a small smile before hugging me again tightly. He continuously tells me that I’m going to be okay but I’m finding that hard to believe.

[wrestlewriting]

Insolence, Pt. 11 [Adam Cole]

Title: Insolence, Part Eleven of ? (Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten)

Characters: Adam Cole/OC(Brenna)

Genre: Fluff. Sexy Times.

Length: ~4,800

Warnings: Language. Somewhat rated-M shenanigans (what?! Yes! It’s true!)

Summary/Inspo: “No star is ever lost we once have seen; we always may be what we might have been.” - Adelaide Anne Procter

“Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It’s easy. All you need is love.” - The Beatles

@catie-kaboom @libby-rose-2016 @legitlunatic @valeonmars @superkixbaybay @danapotterwwe @alexahood21 @rollinstrash @covergirlcollarbones  @hiitsmecharlie  @tearsropsandtiedye @thedeboniardevistation @ily-zaddy @wweismyguiltypleasure @darwarsnoam @bulletbaybay @megan-monroe @pjanina13

AUTHOR NOTE: I am sooooo not a smut writer. But here’s my loving attempt at it all the same. So this isn’t really smut but like, happy sexy times? (Please, 1000x over, let me know your thoughts on this one! So out of my comfort zone. Also, just in general, what’s up? Good stuff? Only a chapter or two left sooo…..)

These are the days we’ve been waiting for. Neither of us knows what’s in store. You just roll your window down and place your bets. These are the days we won’t regret. These are the days we will never forget!

“So what exactly are we doing?” Adam inquired, watching you from the doorway of the bathroom as you did your hair; two braids coming from the front, meeting at the back of your head, where you were pinning them to rest over your hair that was down.

“Regretting letting me plan today?” you asked, throwing a coy but mocking smile at him quickly, before focusing back on your appearance.

“Nah, I’m sure you’re not getting me killed or anything,” he stated with a chuckle, leaning against the door-frame.

“You don’t know that,” you argued, looking at him through the mirror. “I could totally have gotten in contact with the mob already. Or Jay.”

“…too soon,” Adam grumbled, making you giggle. “Can we not talk about him?”

“We’re gonna have to face it eventually,” you pointed out, finishing with your hair, turning to face him.

“Yea, eventually. But not now. Today and tomorrow…this is us, just us, OK?”

“Got it,” you agreed, walking to him, standing up straight to kiss him briefly “You and me.”

“You and me.”

“Now let’s go so I can date the hell out of you,” you declared, causing him to laugh outright, as you walked past him out of the bathroom.

“Oh, is that what this is?” he asked amused, turning and watching you as you grabbed your shoes, and sat down on the bed to put them on.

“Yes,” you answered, tying your red low top shoes. “Because we did this whole thing ass backwards.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” he conceded. “But we also haven’t exactly had time with each other that didn’t also involve work.”

“Well, now we do. So we’re gonna be normal,” you explained, standing up. You fixed the flowy black shirt you were wearing, which was over a light pair of jean capris. Adam was similarly dressed in a jeans and a t-shirt. Las Vegas wasn’t sweltering at this time in the day, but it was warm enough for you to just bring a light sweater and be fine.

After getting back from the show last night, the both of you had realized you hadn’t made actual plans for the next two days. So it had been determined, with a coin toss, that you would be in charge of today’s activities, and Adam was to plan tomorrow.

This morning you had slept in together, enjoying a lazy morning in bed with the TV. Adam had, courteously, kept his own hotel room booked for the days, but you were happy to wake up beside him, and told him as much.

Once the day had turned to afternoon, you went downstairs to the hotel restaurant for lunch. It was just shy of 4PM now, and you were finally heading out for the other activities you’d chosen. Which you were keeping secret from Adam.

Though, to be fair, he hadn’t told you what he planned for tomorrow.

Making sure you both had any needed items from the room, you went downstairs and out to the car. Adam, begrudgingly, let you drive. You had to give him points for thinking you’d let him and he could figure out the plans that way.

Las Vegas traffic was a bitch, even later on a Sunday. But you eventually arrived to your pre-planned destination. The same venue you’d had Ring of Honor shows at this weekend; Sam Town’s Live.

“…what?” Adam asked, his eyes scanning over the building. “We’ve been here for the last two nights. Why are we back?”

“How many times have we been here, like in total?” you responded, parking the car.

“I don’t know. Probably ten? Maybe?”

“And none of those times did any of us ever do any of the fun stuff that’s here,” you specified. “We’ve talked about it on plenty of occasions, just never did it.” The two of you got out of the vehicle, meeting at the trunk. “So, we’re gonna see a movie and get dinner and then I am so kicking your ass at bowling.”

“You are taking this ‘normal’ date plan very seriously,” Adam observed with a chuckle. You just grinned cheekily at him, took his hand, and made sure he was coming along with you into the building.

You found it was easier to just be you when it was only Adam. There was no worrying over what others thought or said or saw. There was little opportunity for your mind to go elsewhere. Adam was engaging, fun, entirely aware of you…you’d forgotten part of that somewhere along the way it seemed. But if you thought about it, it was what attracted you to him. Your friendship way back when had started with him because of these things.

Adam was beyond excited that you’d picked the movie Fist Fight to see. You giggled at his enthusiasm, and internally praised yourself for the choice.  To be fair, it was also a movie you wanted to see.

It was about 6PM when you left the theater, still laughing and going over your favorite parts of the movie. You grabbed dinner at the in-building steakhouse, which was full of genuine catching up with one another; talk of each other’s families, Adam asking about your other job, you asking about his recent time in Japan, and his upcoming trip to England.

By the time you headed over to the bowling alley, a couple hours later, you were slightly tipsy. Not drunk, but feeling a bit looser.

The man working the counter was a big wrestling fan you found out. So after some talking, a couple autographs and pictures, he gave you what would essentially be free games for the night. After many assurances it wasn’t necessary, and then thanks, you headed over to get your bowling shoes.

“How come they haven’t made cuter shoes by now?”

“I don’t know,” Adam answered, picking up his pair from the counter.

“Like, this does not match my outfit, at all,” you disapproved.

“Well, that’s the joy of bowling, isn’t it? You get to wear stupid shoes and throw things at other things,” he detailed, as you finally reached your assigned lane.

“I do like throwing things,” you conceded almost dreamily, causing him to chuckle. Sitting down on one of the plastic benches, stowing your purse underneath, you took off your shoes and put on the tan and red shoes.

“Do I look good, or do I look good?” you asked jokingly, standing up and striking a dramatic pose to show off your temporary footwear.

“Sexiest you’ve ever looked,” Adam established.

The first two games went by quickly, leaving you each with one win. Jokes and trash talk were exchanged throughout. Adam attempted to distract you by sneaking up behind you, and you attempted to throw him off his game by teasingly pulling up your shirt a few inches.

“I will return with more drinks,” you decided, kissing his cheek, and standing up after the second game had ended, and the waitress circling around hadn’t been seen in a while.

“Alright,” Adam said, and you could feel his gaze on you as you walked away.

Making your way to the bar, you leaned your forearms against it, waiting for the bartender to notice you. She was currently filling a larger order, so you knew it would take a moment. In the interim, you let your eyes scan around, casually people watching. Vegas sure brought out an eclectic grouping of people; from families to couples to girls getting drunk together, to dudes trying to hit on those girls. It was an interesting mixture, and entertaining to observe.

“Who knew a Sunday night would be so busy?” Looking over, you found a man standing beside you. He was cute enough, in the conventional preppy-boy style; wearing a graphic tee and jeans. He had to be in his mid-20s you figured, around your age.

“Vegas never sleeps,” you replied.

“Can’t really blame it,” he stated. “It’s not for a lack of anything to do.”

“This is true,” you agreed, your eyes trying to catch that of the bartender’s.

“Are you here on vacation?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, I’m Nate,” he introduced himself.

“Nice to meet you.”

“No name for you?”

“I’m a mystery,” you identified, your voice monotone. You could chit-chat with the best of them, if their intentions seemed innocent or sweet. But something in this man’s posture, presentation, told you he wasn’t either of these things. And that made him unwelcome to you.

“I bet I can figure you out,” Nate decreed, suggestively. You continued to stare at the bartender, in hopes she’d come over soon.

Thankfully, she did. You ordered another round of liquor for you and Adam, watching as she walked off to make the drinks.

“Didn’t take you for a vodka girl,” Nate commented.

“Eavesdropping is rude,” you highlighted.

“Feisty.” You had to work very hard to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes, and giving him a piece of your mind. “Don’t girls usually like their cute little mixed drinks?”

“Anyone can like a good mixed drink whenever they choose to,” you explained, your tone biting. “I don’t recall drink menus coming with gender assignments.”

“Hey.” Adam’s voice was music to your ears. Not that you couldn’t handle yourself, you had for years. But backup was always welcomed. Especially when you just weren’t in the mood to handle pushy men.

“Hi,” you turned you hip against the bar, allowing him to come to your side, an arm going around your waist. You didn’t miss that his kiss was a little bit more possessive than usual. You guessed he’d been watching you at the bar, and had read the situation the same way you had.

“Have you even ordered yet?” Adam inquired.

“Yes.”

“Good.” From the corner of your eye, you noticed the scowl on Nate’s face beside you. Adam turned his gaze to the man, and you could almost feel the cockiness, protectiveness, radiating from him. “Hey, man.”

“Hey,” the other reciprocated. “Busy night, huh?”

“Definitely,” Adam granted, his stare never leaving Nate’s. “But my girlfriend and I are having fun all the same.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his statement.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Nate, begrudgingly, said. “Well, keep enjoying your night.”

“You too,” Adam replied, before coming closer to the bar, turning himself enough to keep Nate from being able to fully see you. The bartender came back a moment later with your drinks, each of you picking up yours. You took a long drink from the glass.

“Girlfriend, huh?” you questioned, looking up at Adam. He appeared unfazed on the surface about your inquiry, but his eyes told a different story.

“Too far?”

“Just right,” you ensured, kissing him shortly, before walking away and back to the lane you had been assigned. Honestly, you were still trying to process through his sudden declaration and use of defined terms for what you were. While you appreciated it, liked it, you still hadn’t expected it. It did sound nice to hear. But was it too much? Too soon?

Not seconds later did you feel Adam’s hand on your hip, stopping you from punching in for your third game to start on the computer.

“Bren, I’m serious,” he stated, his voice close to your ear, as you set your drink down on the table. “I need you to tell me if that was too far.”

Apparently Insecure Adam was making another, rare, appearance. It would probably never cease to surprise you any time you heard worry or uncertainty in his tone. But you preferred this to Insolent Adam any day of the week.

“Do you regret saying it?”

“What? No.”

“Then…what’s the issue?” You turned yourself enough to face him. “You told me you weren’t messing around with me. And I’m clearly not looking to be with anyone else. So…what else would we call this? Friends with benefits?”

“…what benefits?”

“Don’t be an ass,” you demanded, causing the suggestive smirk to fall from his face after his ill-timed joked.

“Hey, Bren, you’re right,” Adam conceded gently. “I just…don’t want you to think I’m pushing you towards something you’re not ready for.”

“I’ve literally told my best friends to get fucked. I’m in Vegas alone with you. These are my choices,” you confirmed. “I know I haven’t been the best at being open about what I want and what’s in my head before. But I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to not second-guess and hesitate and worry. I’m trying to just do what feels right.”

“And this does?”

“Do you think I would be here if it didn’t?” you challenged.

“No.”

“So, then, boyfriend, can we get back to me kicking your ass at bowling?”

“We’re tied.”

“Not for long.”

Before you could turn back to the lane screen, Adam pulled you to him, kissing you. It wasn’t deep in the physical sense, but you knew it was meaningful. He needed you to feel, know, he meant this. There was now structure, titles, boundaries, instilled in your relationship. While part of you was still very nervous, the other part of you was thrilled. And you were trying your best to let the happy part overshadow anything else.

“My date today is gonna be so better than yours.”

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t decide what you wanted to be more offended by; the fact that he thought he had a better plan than you, or that he basically implied your date day had been bad.

“I’m just sayin’,” he shrugged, grinning over at you. You didn’t smile back.

“So yesterday sucked then?”

“What? No.”

“Then explain yourself.”

“I had fun yesterday, of course I did. I didn’t mean… I was just joking, Jesus,” he finally got out, looking entirely uncomfortable under your stare.

“Mmhmm,” you murmured, looking him up and down once, before turning to gaze out the cab’s window. You struggled to keep the smile from coming to your face as you felt him glancing over at you. Giving Adam a hard time was quickly becoming a new hobby for you. When he took your hand in his, lifting it to kiss the back of it, you broke and let out a giggle.

Your day had been another lazy one. Another lunch in the hotel. An afternoon nap. Some day-drinks in the hotel room.

Now that you found yourself driving away from the hotel, you already had a good idea that his plans for the night were far different than yours. The fact that he had told you to wear the short ruffled nude-gold dress and heels gave enough away to tell you that you wouldn’t be hanging at a bowling alley and bar tonight.

So when you pulled up to the Mirage hotel, you weren’t entirely shocked. But you were still very curious as to what you’d be doing here.

Adam was quick to take care of the cab and lead you in to the hotel. It was beautiful inside, you had to say; full of trees and different places to veer off to. You followed beside Adam into the hotel and along the side, arriving at a restaurant called Japonais. It was darker in atmosphere; mysterious, sexy, cool.

The hostess sat the two of you quickly, at a small table against the wall further inside. Within moments a waiter came over to welcome you, as well as take your drink order. You felt adventurous, trying one of their specialty cocktails, while Adam had settled on a Japanese beer.

Dinner was incredibly enjoyable. The food, specifically sushi, was amazing; the conversation flowing with ease. You and Adam spoke about your dreams for your careers, you worries about accomplishing these things. Hopes for your lives beyond wrestling; kids a desire for the both of you, along with a quiet suburban life.

You realized how many things you had known about him before, and how many you still had to learn.

Adam eventually informed you that you needed to leave to make the next event he had planned, which came sooner than you anticipated. Time had seemingly flown during dinner. Downing your third drink, he paid, before you headed back out in to the hotel. Walking with your arm tucked in to his, you eventually came upon a theater.

The words ‘The Beatles, Cirque Du Soleil’ read across the marquee.

“Adam, oh my god,” you gasped, taking in the large British flag projected on the ceiling above you.

“I figured you’d like this.”

“You should like it too,” you resolved, looking to him.

“It’s The Beatles. Who the hell doesn’t like The Beatles?”

“Fair,” you said with a giggle. Pulling him closer, you stood up straight to kiss him lightly a few times. “This is awesome. Thank you.”

“Anything to see you happy.” A blush came to your face almost instantly at his declaration. After giving your tickets, you made your way to your seats, to enjoy the show.

The show ended up being incredible. Every part of it amazed you. While you were fairly athletic as a wrestler, acrobats took the cake as far as flexibility and physical skill. You wished you could do many of the things they did. The music, the colors, the movements…it was absolutely breathtaking.

It ended far too soon in your opinion. You could have watched hours and hours more of it.

Adam guided you out of the theater, and back into the hotels’ atrium. He took you over to one of the bars, which was surrounded by palm trees and other bits of outdoorsy-décor. Sitting at a table, a waiter came over and took your drink orders.

You gushed to Adam about the show over drinks, how much you had enjoyed the entire experience, the entire night to be honest. Conversation changed to other topics; other bands you loved, concerts you’d been to, concerts you wanted to go to. Drinks continued to come, as topics in your talks changed to movies and friends and places you wanted to travel to.

A loud collection of people broke your concentration on one another as they made their way in to the bar just shy of midnight. Based on the short white dress, and the sloppy way a man hung on her, kissing her, you had one guess as to what had happened.

“I can’t believe people actually do that,” you commented, watching the couple giddily ordering drinks at the bar with their friends, some of their loud voices commenting on the ‘crazy wedding’ that had just occurred.

“To each their own,” Adam shrugged, looking amused at the drunken party of people. “How come you and Evan never got married?”

“Didn’t get around to it,” you replied, taking a strong drink from your glass, as he faced you again. The mention of your former love, surprisingly, didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. “We didn’t want it to be all crazy and stressful, more than it had to be anyways. So we were just waiting for, I guess, my life and career to settle a bit. It never mattered to us though. I called him my husband more often than not.”

“You guys were engaged for a while….”

“Almost three years,” you clarified. “We waited until he was done with college for that part. But like I said, it just wasn’t a huge thing for us that we felt we had to do. We were together, everything was good as it was. Words and titles and legalities weren’t important then.”

“I genuinely didn’t know you guys weren’t married more than once,” Adam stated, causing a bittersweet grin to come to your face.

“A lot of people didn’t; still don’t probably. It just got easier to tell people we were than explain what we actually were. I mean, I didn’t even wear my ring a lot because I was always afraid of losing it on the road.”

“You do lose things, a lot.”

“So much,” you admitted, with a laugh. “Ya know, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to talk about exes on dates.”

“…we’re really shitty at this.”

“The worst,” you grinned, and after a pause, spoke again. “So, Kelsey….”

“Ha, fucking, ha,” Adam muttered, taking his own long drink from his glass.

“Kidding!” You smiled widely at him, causing him to give you a fake, short smirk of his own, before a genuine smile came to his lips. The conversation fell off for a minute, as you each sipped more at your drinks. While it had been easy to talk about Evan, and joke about Adam’s past relationship, you knew that it also brought up feelings for both of you. Things that didn’t really need to be relevant right now. Things that shouldn’t be bothered with at this time.

“So, good couple days?”

“Great couple days,” you corrected, grateful for the subject change. “I needed this. We needed this.”

“Yea,” Adam agreed, his eyes catching yours. “I’m not ready for it to end, honestly.”

“We’ve still got tonight…and the morning,” you replied, biting at your lip. You knew your statement held promise, suggestion.

It was intentional.

“Let me know when you’re ready to head back,” he offered, his tone equally indicative of more to come.

“After this drink?”

“Sounds good.”

There was a solid chance you put some hurry into finishing your liquor. After closing out the tab, Adam tucked you into his side, heading out front to get a cab. Throughout the ride back to your hotel, you stayed against his side, your hand resting on his thigh.

Heading up to your room seemed to take longer than you wanted.

As soon as the door was closed, you had your shoes off, kicked somewhere against the wall. You reached behind yourself, sloppily tugging at the zipper on your dress.

“Help me,” you pouted, looking over your shoulder at Adam, who was slowly making his way in to the room, observing you. After toeing off his shoes, he eventually came to you, his hands gently pulling down the zipper, exposing your back to him.

Turning towards him, you immediately put your hands on his cheeks, pulling him into a strong kiss. Adam seemed to take a second to take stock of the situation, before his hands rested against your hips, pulling you flush against him.

It was barely moments before the kiss turned to tongue and teeth, emotion and urgency flowing between the two of you.

“Bren….” Your name was practically a breath from him as he parted slightly from you.

“Adam, don’t,” you requested, your hands slowly sliding down his shoulders, his torso, stopping as they met the waistband of his pants. “If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t do this. You have to know that by now.”

“…I do,” he assured. “I just….”

“Don’t turn in to a gentleman now,” you smirked.

“I will always be that way to you,” Adam affirmed, his seriousness catching you off guard.

“…I know,” you recovered. “Which is why I’m confident in this. I trust you. I’m safe with you, right?”

“Always.”

“Then kiss me. And get this dress off of me,” you declared, your fingers curling into his belt, pulling him further into you. “Trust me when I say I want this.”

Instead of replying, Adam placed his mouth against yours. You had enough sense about you to reciprocate the action, your mouths opening quickly, tongues meeting the others. You felt his hands move up to the straps of your dress, pushing them down your arms, letting the material fall down your body.

Trying to keep things equal, you had your hands working open his belt within a moment, unbuttoning his pants, causing them to hang loosely on his hips. You let go of him, and moved your arms out of your dress, the clothing bunching at your hips. Adam moved his hands to continue pushing your dress down, as you put your hands so they cradled his jaw, pressing his lips closer into yours. You barely acknowledged the feeling of your dress falling to your feet, but you stepped out of it all the same, leaving you in just your lingerie.

While his mouth traveled down your cheek to your neck, you worked at unbuttoning his shirt. It seemed to happen far faster than you could comprehend; he slid out of his shirt, you got off your bra, he moved you so the back of your legs met the bed. He made sure you were eventually on your back, your feet just dangling over the edge of the mattress. Adam was above you quickly, his lips working smoothly down your chest, to your stomach.

When his kisses made it below your belly button, you stopped him, with a hand to his head gently, your stomach flexing tightly.

“…don’t,” you murmured, causing his eyes to come up and meet yours, his breath hot against your skin. “Don’t.”

“Sweetheart….”

“I just want you right now.”

Pushing yourself up onto your elbows, you guided Adam back up to meet you in a kiss. Gliding your hands down as far as you could, you pushed at his pants that were still hanging on to his body. He lifted himself from the bed, finishing what you started, leaving himself naked. Reaching towards you, he gently pulled at your panties, sliding them down your legs, leaving you equally exposed.

Your breath caught as you realized the situation. This had gotten really real. And as much as you wanted this, you couldn’t help but feel a miniscule amount of hesitance. This was a significant step, for you personally, and for the both of you in this relationship.

“Hey,” Adam got your attention, sensing your mood as he settled himself above you, causing your eyes to go to his. “It’s me, Bren.”

“That’s the issue,” you chuckled humorlessly. “How the fuck did you get so into my head?”

“Because I wanted to,” Adam stated. “But mostly because you let me.”

With that, and a high-pressured kiss, you felt him finally slide his way into you. It had been over a year now since you’d last had sex, and your body was certainly reminding your brain of that as he entered you. You knew the alcohol was dulling some of your feelings, but you were highly aware all the same.

What you knew, above it all, was that you did want this. And really, really liked this. Adam had the good grace to pause a moment, but when you let out a breath, he stopped being still. He felt really good moving within you, and when he put his thumb on your clit, you immediately arched up in to him, a moan bubbling up your throat.

“Shit,” you hummed, your nails involuntarily biting in to the skin of his shoulder.

“Yea?”

“Yes,” you gasped, screwing your eyes shut, as he increased the movement of his thumb. His lips found your neck again as you met him thrust for thrust.

You never wanted to forget what this felt like. You felt warm, tingly, all over; pleasantly taut physically but relaxed emotionally. Adam’s mouth on you, hands on you, body on you…you felt wanted, safe, cherished.

God, he was good.

“Bren…” his voice was broken, lust-loaded, as he came back up to kiss you deeply.

“Adam,” you practically whimpered.

“I got you, gorgeous,” he comforted, pushing in deeper somehow.

It was minutes later you felt your core tightening, as your hips pushed up firmly against his. Adam finished not too long after.

After each of you caught your breath, Adam moved himself to your side, your shoulders pressed against each other’s. Your heart was still beating fast, and you still felt small tingles trickling through your body. Adam seemed equally effected still beside you.

“Fuck,” you realized, breaking the silence. “I totally just put out after only the second date.”

“Slut.”

“Right back atcha,” you asserted. Adam laughed, turning his head, to which you moved your own, meeting his eyes.

“You were right; we’re shit at this.”

“At least we’re in it together?”

“Exactly,” he concurred. You couldn’t help but giggle, as a smile formed on Adam’s face. He moved closer, kissing you gently, before pulling you into his side, your head going to his chest.

This had been a busy two days. A lot have been done, a lot of been discussed, and a lot had changed. You were in a relationship. With a really good person. In spite of all the changes and what such things usually did to you, you felt calm. Content. Happy. You didn’t feel questioning and panicky like you tended to do.

This felt…right.

You never wanted to leave the bubble you’d made in Vegas with Adam.

I never saw it happening. I’d given up and given in. I just couldn’t take the hurt again - What a feeling. I didn’t have the strength to fight. Suddenly, you seemed so right. Me and you - What a feeling. What a feeling in my soul - Love burns brighter than sunshine. It’s brighter than sunshine.

Let the rain fall, I don’t care. I’m yours, and suddenly you’re mine. Suddenly, you’re mine.

UPDATE: Chapter Twelve is up.

[zankivich]

The First Time: Werewolf Shawn! x Black Reader

a/n: So hear me out...I really fucks with this. If you don’t that’s unfortunate. It takes place in the In My Blood universe but could definitely be read as a stand alone piece. I kind of love these characters so I might write more for them in the future? Let me know if that’s something you’d like to see! 

Warnings: Smut. Just smut. And a little bit more smut. 

Getting Shawn into bed is actually the hardest thing in the world. Even after you accept the fact that your boyfriend turns into a wolf that is in charge of over wolves and they all can hear each other’s thought and run like fucking wolves together, this man still has the audacity to keep you waiting. And in the kindest way humanly possible...you just could not take it anymore.

It’s another night of you staying over at Shawn’s. He had cooked you dinner. Had watched netflix with you on the couch and ran his fingers through your hair. He even let you move your way into his lap, lips trailing up and down his neck. But, once again, the second your hips began to move in interest, he locked those obnoxious arms of his around your waist to stop you. Ugh.

“Baby.” He whined peering up at you with those beautiful eyes of his. “You have no idea how hard you’re making things.”

You snorted. “I do know how hard I’m making things. What I’m confused about is why you’re not doing anything about it.”

“You know why.” He sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He was beginning to sound like  a broken record.

“No. Stop that shit. Stop saying you’re going to hurt me. You’re not. You couldn’t. You would never hurt me. You’re my mate, right?”

“But sweetheart--”

“Right?” You pressed. “Would you ever hurt me Shawn?”

His eyes turned a deeper more amber version of the honey you knew so well. You’d begun to recognize it as his wolf response to being challenged, or hearing anything that his alpha self didn’t like. White boys are so dramatic.

“Of course not. Never.”

“Exactly. So, why don’t you just come make me feel good then?” You whispered grabbing his chin between your fingers and kissing him roughly.

You held his cheek in your hand, fingers melding to his warm flesh as your tongue nestled into his mouth. He groaned against your lips and let you do as you pleased for a moment. Your body began to heat up as he kissed you back, as his teeth nipped harshly against your lip. It was bruising and passionate and heated, which only made you want more. You just wanted more of him.

“I promise to repay the favor.” You whimpered fingers resting in his hair.

His arms around your waist tightened until he was gripping more harshly on your hips. Finally he was matching your kiss with the hunger that you always felt beneath the surface. This is what you’d been wanting for so long. When you were mates with someone there was an impulsive need to take care of them, to please them. It was instinct that you had been fighting damn near since you met him, and one that you were quite frankly tired of neglecting.

“Please? I need you.”

One second, you can feel his heartbeat through his t-shirt, can practically feel the tension in his body as he’s kissing you. It’s the same as always. He’s building you up, making your heart race increase, and touching your body in ways that only teases you. The next you are actually flying through the air as he throws you over his shoulder and heads for the stairs.

“Shawn!” You giggled. “Put me down!”

“Can’t take you anywhere.” He grunted heading straight for his room. “You’ll be the death of me, you know that?”

You slapped playfully at his ass.

“Once you go black, you never go back, baby!”

“You’re such a dork!”

He lets your body fall with a slight bounce to the bed before crawling right in after you. His thighs bracket your hips and his eyes, honey and golden as ever, peer at you like he could pull back every layer until he got to your soul. You didn’t want to just be intimate with him, you wanted to feel him in a way you never had before. You wanted to share everything that you were, every part of your being with him. He was Shawn. He was your mate. You needed him in the exact same way he needed you.

“I love you so much.” He hummed thumb running softly along your bottom lip.

You parted your lips, nipping playfully at the digit before letting your tongue snake around it.

“God. You’re gonna destroy me aren’t you?”

You shook your head. “No. Just gonna love you a little bit. Just want to touch you is all.”

“Jesus...C’mere.”

His lips find yours again and it’s immediately back to the level of passion from downstairs. You worm your arms around his neck and he props your legs around his back. Things shift when his hips start to press against yours in interest. Shawn had always been so reserved that you weren’t ready for the feeling of him rutting against you, or the feeling that it would stir within you either. Your thighs tightened around him and a moan was stifled by his mouth  as you tried desperately to feel more of him. It was all about more. You had never felt anything like it in your life.

“You’ve gotta get these clothes off.” He huffed pulling back just enough to tug at your t-shirt.

He made quick work of your bra, warm calloused hands reaching for the underwear you’d worn underneath them. His eyes bore into yours, the color much darker than before. Almost amber. You had never seen his eyes that shade before and you quickly got lost in them. So, when the ripping sound came you barely noticed until your underwear was in your boyfriend's hands in complete tatters.

“Holy shit.”

“I told you.” He grunted pulling his t-shirt over his head in one smooth motion.

He hovered over your body, abs poised and veins prominent beneath his arms. He looked absolutely ridiculous. And you loved every single moment of it. When his sweats come off and he’s tugging at those boxer briefs, you don’t dare to blink just in case he changes his mind. Just in case he takes it all back. When he wraps his fist around himself because he’s already hard, you get the sense that this time is different. Way. Different.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.” He murmured, voice husky

You tilted your hips slightly up as an open invitation.

“Now’s your chance.”

When he manhandles your legs open and slots his head between your thighs, it’s a new level of drunkness in your veins. His curls tickle and his tongue is warm and languid. It’s like he’s mapping you out from the inside, exploring everything you have to offer. And god it feels so good. You’re whining like you’ve ever whined before, and your hips won’t stay still. He laps at your clit and it feels excellent. You’re thoroughly convinced that it can’t get better. And then he wraps his arms around your hips from underneath your thighs and threads his fingers together against your stomach as he begins to suck hard and tight in a way you’ve never felt before. His arms are like iron bars. There’s no movement, no breaking his grasp. You absolutely lose it.

“Oh my fucking god!”

His head bumps rhythmically against your stomach as he eats you out like it’s the only thing he was put on earth to do. Your entire body tenses and you tug desperately at his curls, but he only slurps harder. His tongue becomes pointed and he quickly starts laving against the most sensitive part of your being. You don’t even know when your orgasm starts because it feels like you’ve been shattering ever since he touched you.

“Shawn. Shawn. P--Please baby I’m gonna cum!”

If you had a brain cell left in the world you would’ve laughed at yourself for how embarrassingly high--and loud--you were but holy shit. This was not some normal fucking. This was some sci-fi, my boyfriend’s a werewolf which apparently translates to having the best tongue game in existence type fucking. How dare he.

When he pulls his head back finally your thighs twitch anxiously without him. Your body is wracked with pleasure, and you’ve never been so turned on in your life. It doesn’t help that he’s staring down at you with those fucking eyes and those swollen lips like a GQ cover titled “I can eat your girlfriend’s pussy better than you”.

“You smell so good.” He groaned large hands grasping at your thighs to pull you back closer to him. “And you taste...damn baby, you taste so good.”

You whined softly, still sensitive as he ran his thumb through your wet folds.

“If i hadn’t just came my brains out, I’d break up with you for making me wait so long for that.”

He chuckled moving smoothly onto his arms so that he was over on top of you again. Your eyes locked and he kissed you gently, in a way that was so drastically different from just moments before. He licked deep into your mouth, cradling your head in his too big palm. It was maybe the most loving kiss you’d ever shared, and it kind of gave you whiplash. But, like, the best whisplash ever. Your toes curled against his thighs and your stomach felt so full of butterflies. You’d never felt so loved than when he was kissing you like that.

He moved to pressing staccato like kisses to your cheeks and down to your neck and clavicle, kisses beginning to linger until he was sucking into the flesh.

“Y/n?” He whispered after he’d sucked a mark into your neck below your ear.

“Y--Yea?”

“I’m gonna wreck you.”

There are some moments in life where one most come to terms with their unpreparedness. Perhaps you thought you studied well enough for a test only to look at the first question and realize the error of your ways. Perhaps you got a job that you were slightly underqualified for, and had to pick up the slack. Or, perhaps you had just wanted to make love with your boyfriend, only to find that he had every intention of leaving you bed ridden. When you peered up into Shawn’s eyes as he sheathed himself with a condom, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind. The alpha was out to play. And you were surely about to get more than you could have ever dreamed of asking for.

When your bodies lock together it’s another new feeling. You’d been with plenty of partners in the past, but this was something entirely different. Mated love making was supposed to be more intense because you were in a sense bonded to each other. He was made for you. And you him. It was like one of those thousand puzzle piece sets, with the two most satisfying pieces coming together with ease. He filled you and it was the most erotic feeling you had ever come across. You felt full, felt like he was reaching something in you that had gone untouched. Your back arched involuntarily and you released a sound that had him panting against your collarbone. It had barely started and you already felt gone.  

“Fuck. How do you feel this good?” He whined.

You groaned nails digging into his hips.

“So good, baby. Please move. I need it.”

“You need it?” He whispered eyes peering down at your lips.

You nodded trying to peer up at him with innocence as you twitched your muscles purposely.

“Need all of it.”

“Jesus, y/n.”

He pushed closer, the back of your thighs meeting the front of his. Your legs fit perfectly over his shoulders and he reached for the headboard as his hips began to move slowly at first, searching and stretching you. It was as if he could feel how you were feeling, because the moment you grew accustomed to him inside you, he was pulling out and slamming back in like fucking freight train.

“Holy shit!”

He fucked you like he owned you. His hips were rugged and quick, slapping so roughly against you that you couldn’t tell what was up and what was down. A fine sheet of sweat took over both your bodies and you could smell him. God you could smell him and it only turned you on even more. It wasn’t just that he was moving fast, but that he moved so incredibly deep within you too. He shifted his hips again and again until he touched a spot that had your back arching clean up off the bed.

“Oh my god, Shawn!”

“Is it there?” He grunted not letting up even remotely. “Right here?”

“Y--Yea! Holy shit, yes!”

He pulled back off the headboard one hand gripping your thigh and the other gripping your waist as he shuffled to rut against the spot insight you that would have you bursting for him like an overripe fruit on a hot summer day. When you came it was like a wave that drifted aimlessly back before crashing on top of you all at once. Your hands pushed at his wrists, but it was useless. He kept fucking you through it until you came again, one right on top of the other. His strokes only got  louder, more wet and squelching as your legs shook.

“Fucking look at you.” He hummed grabbing your waist tighter. “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

He slid out of you and let your legs drop to the bed allowing you to breathe for perhaps the first time since you’d entered the bedroom.

“Holy shit, Shawn.” You gasped voice high,  grabbing at your boobs just so you could feel rooted to the planet again.

He chuckled. “You’ve said that before...Flip over. I’m not done yet.”

Holy. Shit.

“Don’t you think doggy style is a little cliche in this scenario?” You asked in a desperate attempt to find some footing in this situation.

He ran his fingers along your ankle and licked at his lips.

“I could flip you over myself. I was just giving you the opportunity to do it yourself, sweetheart.”

You barely recognized him in this state. Mostly because Shawn was always sweet as sugar to you. His alpha side had always been reserved for the pack. He had never ordered you before. This was certainly new. And most definitely the hottest thing you’d ever experienced. Wow.

“Lay on your side.” He directed as you began to shift.

You raised an eyebrow and peered back at him, but he simply tapped lovingly at your thigh.

“Trust me. You’ll love it.”

You did as he asked, biting your lip as he immediately shuffled forward on his knees and raised your leg over his shoulder again.

“Is there some kind of wild sex demon gene in the werewolf genome that I don’t know about?”

He snorted and reached for his length easing slowly back into you and stretching you with you a groan.

“Nothing genetically. Just want to please you.” He whispered pushing deep into you. “Can I please you, baby girl?”

“Yes. You. Can.”

His palm lands on your ass and he uses it for leverage to begin moving inside you. It really is different, in that this position allows him to get deep and stay deep and it’s absolutely incredible. Your toes curls against his shoulder and he only moves harder until he’s not even pulling out anymore, he’s just rutting against you again. Your eyes flutter close and your fingers dig desperately into the sheets. It feels like you might explode already.

“Goddammit Shawn. That’s so fucking deep.” You whined. “I can’t, baby.”

“You can. You’re doing so good, honey. Feel so good around me. Wanna make you cum again, okay?”

The bed is rocking. You can’t grab hold of anything that will make you feel less like your body is floating. And now he’s gripping your hips with those fucking arms and drilling into you again, hips snapping against your heat, grunts leaving his lips that are animalistic and hungry. You’ve never felt so gone. You can’t keep it in so you reach for a pillow to stifle your moans--or screams, but who’s keeping track--only for him to reach over and snatch it from you.

“Don’t do that.” He whined, voice soft and breathy. “I wanna hear you when you cum for me.”

His curls are damp with sweat and he pushes them back on his forehead before licking at his fingers to get them wet. He reached between your legs to angle at your clit, all the while fucking you into the bed without mercy. The last thing you remembered was him biting into your ankle. It was the most weirdly possessive thing you’d ever experienced, and for whatever reason--in conjunction with the clitoral and vaginal stimulation--it had you cumming like a water faucet.

Your hips thrashed beneath his hold and his goal of being able to hear you was dutifully reached as anyone within a quarter mile probably heard you cry out. It felt so incredibly good. Your orgasm was this long, drawn out moment of indescribable pleasure. Your body was hot and you couldn’t quite breathe. Whatever he was doing to you was a completely foreign experience, and you were reveling in every new height that you reached together.

“Fuck.” you groaned as he left your body to plop down beside you.

You were an absolute wreck panting and gasping like you’d just run a 5k. Shawn peered over at you with a smirk watching the way that your chest rose and fell. Something about it must have been erotic to him, because before you knew it he was leaning over to grip your boobs firmly in his hands, tongue tracing one of your nipples playfully.

“Babe--Babe you gotta stop...I--I can’t.” You begged.

He pressed his sweaty curls against your neck and hummed.

“I’m sorry I just...God I want you.”

You moaned at his words and ran your fingers through his hair.

“How have you not cum yet?” You groaned.

“I was built to please you.” He whispered. “I’m your alpha. Your mate. I wasn’t focusing on my pleasure; I was focusing on yours.”

You peered down at him, his face still hidden in your neck as goosebumps appeared all over your body. He was built for you. That was the most fulfilling thing you could ever think of. To know that as much as you could ever love him, as much as you could ever want him, he would always give it right back to you. It was the type of love you’d never even thought to wish for, and yet it had plopped right in your lap. And you never wanted to let it go.

You tugged softly at his curls until his eyes met yours and you could kiss him with all of the love and the wonderment that he had shown you that night and every night that you were together. His cheeks so warm and rosy in your palms. His tongue, soft and pliant in your mouth. Everything about him was perfect. And all that you do was yearn to please him in the same way.

“One more time.”

His eyes widened slightly and he ran his thumb soothingly along your jaw.

“You sure? We can be done, baby. I can take care of myself.”

You shook your head stubbornly. “C’mere.”

He slid between your legs once again, the blankets pulled up around the both of you to hide where your legs were nestling around your hips. He kept your lips attached as you worked through the stretch of him filling you once again. You were just the right side of sore and you grabbed aimlessly for his ass to pull him deeper against you with purpose. Your thighs tightened and your pelvic muscles tightened and he cried out for you like you’d been crying out for him all night long. His hands turned to fists in the sheets and you couldn’t help but watch him in amazement as he finally lost his cool for the first time.

“F--Fuck. Baby, please.” He grunted, jaw tight with tension.

You swirled your hips and grinded tighter against him.

“Don’t hold back for me. Just want you to cum.”

He pulled back just enough to make eye contact with you. His arms settled on either side of your head and he pulled out just enough to have your back arching as he pushed back in. The eye contact now was stifling, your stomach tightening every time he moaned against your lips. You wormed your arms around his neck and met his hips thrust after thrust. His eyes got visibly darker and his grunt got lower, all of that coordination and skill from the nightly completely falling apart as he lost himself in his own pleasure. It was fucking beautiful to watch. And it meant that when he cried out for you, when he reached his own climax, you were there with him even then, without a clue as to how he’s managed to bring you to an orgasm one last final time.

You collapsed there, sheets still damp and skin shiny with sweat. He rooted you to the bed with all of his weight and you stayed just like that. Deeply intertwined. Almost as if you’d become one.

It was everything you had imagined. And then some.

[zankivich]

Neighbors: Shawn x Plus Size Reader Chapter 13

a/n: Hi there. This is going to be good. I promise. Take some deep breaths. Relax a little. Let yourself fall into it. There’s a lot of build up here but it will all make sense in a little while. I promise. If you hate it that’s cool, you can come yell at me. I’ll understand. But I love you? If you like it enough to want to buy me a ko-fi I’d love you forever! 

Trigger Warnings: details of sex, anxiety attack

*y/n’s point of view*

Going home is good for a while. You start a huge campaign with Roger’s Stadium to do their new branding. It’s kind of Shawn adjacent, but distant enough that no one brings it up that your boyfriend just happened to sell out a show there. You got to pick someone to help do the low-level research and you quickly paired up with Stu. It meant late nights in the office with your best friend doing what you did best. Marketing was your thing. Understanding different demographics of people and what got through to them best was something that you’d never had to be taught in the classroom. It came naturally. So communicating your product, connecting with people was just fun for you. It just so happened to come with a lovely commission on the side.

You meet with Gina, to confirm and solidify your pitch, but also apparently for a wellness check. After a lifetime of male bosses, you’d never once had one of those, but the second you sat down in her office she quickly flipped the lid on your ipad and made you talk about yourself instead.

“How are you?” She asked.

Your eyes widened slightly. “I...I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” She chuckled. “You’re used to jumping right into things, aye? Is that it?”

“I guess. Most bosses usually just want me to do the job and move on.”

“Ah. Then this should be a lovely change of pace for you. I have no interest in what you do professionally if you’re not doing okay holistically. The two are deeply intertwined. I’m not saying we’re going to be best friends. In fact we probably shouldn’t but, if at no other point in your day is someone asking you how you’ve been, let that be what your time with me looks like, okay?”

“Okay.” You murmured letting your shoulders relax slightly. “Okay.”

“So I ask you again, how are you doing y/n?”

“Things are good, actually. Stu and I work so well together that sometimes I can’t tell when our friendship stops and when the work begins. We just understand each other’s minds in a really productive way, so it’s really nice to be able to work together.”

She gave you that smile again that said you were doing something wrong causing you to pause again.

“What?”

“I guess I’m just curious how often when someone asks you how you’re doing you immediately start talking about work.”

You signed, hands twisted up in your lap as you struggled to maintain eye contact with her.

“Yea well...There’s not really much going on for me outside of work right now so?”

“Really? What about that famous boyfriend of yours everyone’s always yapping about?”

You snorted. “Famous boyfriend is getting ready for his very famous tour in England at the moment.”

“England, aye? That’s where you flew out to a few weeks ago right?”

“Yea. We uh had a fight that was bit my fault, so I went to apologize and smooth things over. He’ll be heading for Amsterdam come March though.”

She nodded. “That’s a lot for you to handle, I’m guessing. You must fly a lot to go see him? That’s hard considering your job here.”

You peered down at your lap again.

“This is actually the first time we’re doing the whole long term long distance thing. I’m sure we’ll be fine. It’s all a learning curve though. I uh I was planning on going to Amsterdam for the first two shows but that will probably be the last time I leave for at least a few months. I won’t see him for most of the year.”

“Well, shit. That just sucks.”

You smiled. “Yea, little bit. But he says he’ll fly back as often as he can. And with social media and technology now a days I can still talk to him for like hours. We’ll be okay. The hardest part is just keeping myself busy, and thankfully I’m pretty good at that.”

“What about family and friends?”

“Family is...complicated. Friends is Stu and his boyfriend Brian. Most of the people in the office are much older than me though, and we just don’t really care about the same things. I’m good though, I’ve always been the kind of person to go out and do whatever makes me happy. I don’t need a bunch of people around for that.”

She laughed again. “Well isn’t that nice to know. I suppose you can show me your pitch now.”

She loves it. And it’s incredibly validating, and takes a lot of stress of your shoulders. Now all that was left to do was to present the real thing and hope that they liked your design. It seemed like a cause for celebration. So you and Stu made plans to get all gussied up, go out to a fancy dinner, and get wine drunk together before eight pm. You tried to give Shawn a call, he knew how stressed you’d been about it after all, but it went to voicemail. So, you tucked your phone in your purse and went out to have a good fucking time.

“To being in our mid-twenties and finally hitting the fucking glow up! We are in our prime motherfucker!” Stu grinned cheersing his glass against yours.

You snorted. “We sure fucking are. When Ari said it feels so good to be so young and so successful, bitch was not lying.”

“Ugh. I wanna die and come back as that song. I thought that the thing I hated you most for was getting to see Shawn Mendes’ dick in person, but I think it’s that you have the ability to meet my fairy godmother, Ariana Grande, and there’s just nothing I can do about it.”

You peered over at your best friend over the rim of your glass with raised eyebrows.

“Stu...Are you sexually attracted to my boyfriend?”

His eyes widened slightly and his lips parted like a goldfish flopping on a dry surface begging for water. The idiot.

“To be fair...The entire office wants to fuck your boyfriend. Not just me!”

“Wow...That does not make me feel any better you sleez!” You chortled. “You’re my best friend!”

“It’s not like I would pursue it! Besides, Shawn Mendes was on our hall pass list far before you two were playing footsie behind my back.”

“I beg your pardon? And stop calling him by his full name, it gives me the creeps.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “The minute that man figured out how to put on a suit, Brian told me straight up if he ever found out Shawn went the other way, he would leave my ass in a heartbeat.”

“Jesus. So the whole world wants to screw my boyfriend?”

“Little bit, babes. But, you’re the only one who gets to! Don’t worry about the rest of us horny idiots.” He smiled.

“Have I ever told you how good you are at consoling me?”

“No.”

“Good.” You smirked. “You suck at it.”

He swatted at you playfully allowing both of you some time to look over your menus. At least that’s what you thought you were doing. It only took a few minutes of not so subtle stares for you to get the hint. The more you got used to being with Shawn the more you picked up on stuff like that.

“What is it now, Stu?” You sighed plopping your menu down.

“Well...Don’t take this the wrong way, because I completely don’t mean it in a predatory, creepy one at all but...What’s the dick like?”

“Oh god.”

He sighed. “We used to talk about all our hookups! I just want to know that my bestie is getting the dicking down that she deserves. It just so happens that this is internationally famous dick.”

Your best friend was a complete and total dumbass. But, you loved him. And you loved Shawn. And quite honestly not getting to share your experiences with someone was tough. It was hard because you knew Stu might not be able to relate to some of the things you were now experiencing as a result of your relationship, but he was also the person you went to for just about everything and vice versa. Also...sometimes a girl needs to gloat.

You peer around the restaurant as if a pap or one of Shawn’s fans might be lurking around every corner. (Sometimes, it felt like they were.) Stu leaned in in his nosey ass manner

“So like...it’s the best dick I’ve ever had in my life.” You whispered.

“Shut the fuck up.”

You whined dramatically. “I wish I was kidding. The whole hour and a half shows every night of the week translates so well into the bedroom. His stamina is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. His breath control allows him to go down on me for insane amounts of time. I’m talking like the bastard has evolved gills or some shit!”

Stu cracked up laughing and clanked his glass happily against yours.

“To evolving gills, bitch!”

You snorted happily and cheers’d with him again.

“Wait Stu, something happened.” You murmured moving closer in your seat to lean across the table.

“What? What?”

“So I went to the UK obviously to make up for things and I found this plus-size lingerie store while I was there so I thought it might get his mind off things if we like had some fun or whatever.”

“Okay….AND?”

“And so we’re doing...you know, it. And out of nowhere this dominant side of him comes out that honest to god made me wetter than the ocean seas.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “What the hell does that mean? What did he do?”

You bit your lip taking another gander around the restaurant only for him to swat at you about getting shy just as you were getting to the good part.

“I was somewhat bent over, I guess you could say.”

“Great so you were doing doggy style, get to the kinky shit, sis.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know… It just like started to feel really good and I had a feeling that I was going to…”

“Cum?”

You shook your head softly.

He gasped. “Squirt?”

You nodded.

“Oh. My. God. He’s really dicking you to explosion.”

“Yes. That is accurate. Anyway, I’ve never done that while he was in me before so I guess I started pushing against his hips because it felt so good? And he pulled my arms behind my back randomly and literally fucked me through it. Even when I was screaming louder than I’ve ever screamed before. He said, and I quote: ‘Baby, just let me give it to you. Let me make you feel good like only I can.’ and I just...holy shit Stu it was the best orgasm of my life.”

“You memorized a quote during sex? That is the biggest dick energy I’ve ever heard in my life. I have to go home and now slap my boyfriend because you’ve told me that story. I hope you’re satisfied, ruining other people's relationships. Holy shit, y/n.”

You licked at your lips and smile up at the sky as if God had something to do with it and not your wonderfully aggressive boyfriend.

“Yea. I know.” you sighed dreamily. “I love him.”

Meanwhile…

*Shawn’s point of view*

“What’s your problem? Y/n not texting you back?” Brian asked as Shawn tossed his phone back onto the couch.

He rolled his eyes. “No. But I am a perfectly grown adult who doesn’t need his girlfriend’s constant validation to feel secure in our relationship, Brian!”

“That what the self-help books telling you, bud?”

Brian was walking past after having turned the tv on and he very purposely tripped him. Jackass.

“Is you not getting to blow your load at least three times a day gonna make you an asshole this whole entire tour?”

He reached for a pillow and quickly socked his best friend in the face.

“Why are you such a dickhead, dickhead?!” He snorted. “There’s nothing I can do about having an incredible sex life. That is not my fault!”

“Incredible sex life, my ass!”

He put his hand over his heart and gave him the most sincere face he could offer.

“Bri...it’s a great fuckin’ sex life. Best of my whole life.”

“What does she shoot beams of light out her pussy or something?”

“This is why women hate our whole gender by the way. No, jackass, but she might as well. She is soft and passionate and beautiful and...vocal. Everytime I think I’m in control she does something to put me in my place. It’s wild. She’s fuckin wild.” He sighed collapsing back against the couch. “God, she’s perfect, man.”

Sure, he missed her. He always missed her. But, he also just appreciated everything about her. And talking about their love life wasn’t out of disrespect at all. It was more like bragging out of love for everything that they were together. And also because when it came to sex...they were kind of incredibly good at it.

“You two fuck like bunny rabbits. I’d almost be impressed if it wasn’t a complete inconvenience ninety nine percent of the time.”

Shawn rolled his eyes. “How is our love making an inconvenience to you, oh poor wonderful Brian?!”

“Oh don’t even get me started! Exhibit A, you invite all of us over to your apartment for a party in December. We’re supposed to get incredibly hammered and play mario kart. Not even forty-five minutes into the damn thing, you two assholes disappear into the bedroom, WITH the game system I might add, with the door locked for over an hour. The only reason you even came back out was because y/n wanted more tequila!”

“Hmm...that was a beautiful night. She sounds like a symphony when she cums.” He sighed to himself.

“Gross. Exhibit B! We go to the after party for the billboard awards. It’s supposed to be a good fuckin’ time for everyone--”

“Hey! We had a good fuckin’ time that night! We shared a blunt with Post Malone, Alessia, and fucking Ariana Grande. What could you possibly have to complain about?!”

“Why yes Shawn, that we did. But do you remember what happened after that?” He paused for the briefest of moments before very quickly continuing on. “Y/n for some reason found you smoking to be the hottest thing in the world and decided that she had to have you right then and there. You two left the fucking party and Alessia and I had to uber back to the hotel.”

“Well that is...yea I don’t really have an excuse for that one. Not our best moment. But trust me you didn’t want to be in that car anyway, I ripped her dress that night. It was a bit of a shit show. The only reason the paps didn’t get us was because we penguin waddled inside to hide it.”

“The moral of the story is, as happy as I am that you guys are trying to set an olympic record for fucking, you both suck!”

“You’ve got me there. We both suck...incredibly well I might add.”

He hit him with a pillow and left the room. What are best friends for anyway?

*y/n’s point of view*

“How are things going with Bry?” You asked as Stu worked to pack their bowl.

What better way to celebrate their wonderful friendship date, then ending it with a little weed?

He lit the bowl and took a deep hit, letting it sit in his lungs as he handed it over.

Stu groaned. “They’d be fine if he would get his shit together and propose to me already.”

You took a hit of your own and laughed.

“If you want to marry him so much, why don’t you propose?”

“I’m the one who asked him out in the first place! I’m the one who single handedly kept our relationship going through college. I told him point blank that he needed to propose and for some reason, five years later I’m still missing a ring on my finger!”

“Do you want me to talk to him? Give him the hint?”

He rolled his eyes. “As wonderful as that sounds, no. I want him to want to be with me. I just want him to take a little initiative ya know?”

You each took another hit of the bowl and leaned against each other and the high took over.

“I get it. You want to feel confident in your future. You wanna know he’s gonna be there when you need him. That’s a valid feeling.” You assured him.

“We’ve just been together for so long. And most of the time we are so good together. We communicate well, we have fun together. I just want to know that we’re both feeling the same things. Sometimes he seems so sure that he just thinks we don’t need to talk about it at all.”

“Damn. I think Shawn and I might be the opposite. I think all he wants is for me to talk more.”

Stu chuckled. “No shit. It took me getting you high in my college dorm for you to even tell me anything even remotely personal about yourself. Shawn’s sappy ass probably thinks it’s like talking to a wall.”

“Very funny asshole. I can’t help it okay? I’m the baby of four kids. By the time I was growing up, no one had time to listen to me whine and complain about shit. Shawn just...he understands all of his emotions so well, and he spends so much of his life reflecting on everything no matter how busy he is. I’m trying though. I know it’s necessary, It’s just hard.”

“Do you think you two will be okay with all the touring?” He asked.

Wasn’t that just the million dollar question? You didn’t know how to explain that when you were together it seemed like you could take on the world, like you could do anything together, but that when you were apart you’d never felt weaker. It all feel so sappy and so high school. Not being able to live on your own and per your own person? You wanted to be better than that. And admitting anything else out loud, even to Stu, shook the very foundation of the persona you were trying to force yourself to be.

“Shawn thinks we will be.” You mumbled.

“I didn’t ask what Shawn thinks. I’m your best friend, you can tell me of all people.”

“It’s just harder when we’re apart. So, I fly into whatever country he’s in and we fuck and we go out to dinner and maybe we get high because that’s all there is when you’re together for two or three days. And it’s not until I come back home that I even realize it. Cause when we’re together, I can’t imagine being anywhere else. I could honestly sit in one of those green rooms and just watch him all day, and I’d be happy. I love him that much. But when I get some distance, when I’m back home I realize just how little there is. How little there will be for the rest of the year. I just...I guess I’m hoping I can hold on. Because when I’m with him? It’s the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known.”

“Holy shit babes...That’s deep. C’mere.”

He wrapped his arm loosely around you. You passed the bowl back and forth a few more times until the world grew fuzzy and calm and you were each happier for it. It was a good way to end the night.

***

It’s four in the afternoon. You have a meeting in fifteen minutes to go over revenue for the department. These meetings always made you super anxious. You were the only female senior executive, so any conversation you had about revenue was always in a room full of men. It didn’t help that a lot of the assholes in the office didn’t like the way you were offered the job and definitely held a grudge. You were always dead set on having the best numbers, so no one could say shit. Your stomach was tied up in knots and you just wanted to get it over with, so you could go home and drink a glass--or three--of wine. You’d been stressed about it all week, and it only made it worse that you had started sleeping in Shawn’s apartment because the smell of his sheets was sometimes the only thing that could lull you into sleep only for the smell to eventually fade away. There was tension in your neck and in your shoulders from the tossing and turning, and you just needed the week to be over.

Your phone started to vibrate on your desk and you almost chucked it at the wall. When you saw that it was Shawn wanting to facetime you honestly weren’t sure if that made it better or worse. But, Shawn tended to get anxious when you didn’t answer, so you took a deep breath and opened the phone.

“Babe!” He smiled immediately as his image came slowly into focus.

He must’ve been walking somewhere with the team cause he wasn’t looking at his phone right away. You didn’t really have time for this.

“Hey Shawn. Look, what is it? I’m uh I’m kinda busy.”

“Wait just one sec.” He scrambled a little with the phone before he was finally staring at you, wild curls and beautiful brown eyes to boot. “What’s wrong? You sound stressed.”

“I am stressed. I have a meeting in ten, Shawn; what can I do for you?”

He frowned. “I don’t need you to do anything for me. I just wanted to see you. Hey Jake, I’m gonna go sit for a minute alone alright? I’ll be back.”

“No, Shawn don’t--” But he was already walking away from the group.

“What’s going on, right now? Talk to me.”

Your initial instinct was to tell him nothing was going on, that you didn’t want to talk, you just wanted to muscle through. But you couldn’t help but remember your conversation with Stu a few days ago. It felt hypocritical to say you were trying to communicate if every time your boyfriend asked you to communicate you shut down.

You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger.

“I have a meeting, okay? That’s all” You mumbled feeling like an incessant toddler.

He nodded. “Okay, you have a meeting. You’ve told me that. You’ve got a meeting that’s stressing you out. You look flustered. What else is going on?”

“Nothing else is going on. I’m just really stressed at the moment.”

He sighed. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to fight me on this. I only want to help you. You’re breathing is uneven. Are you feeling anxious right now?”

“I--I don’t know. Yea, sure, I feel anxious.”

“How long have you felt anxious, honey?”

“Shawn, what the hell does this have to do with anything?!” you snapped the irritation getting to you.

“I think you might be having an anxiety attack. Try and take a deep breath with me. I know you’re feeling upset, but let’s just breathe for a little bit.”

“An anxiety attack? Shawn what--”

“Hush. Just fucking listen to me okay?”

You stumbled into silence and watched as your boyfriend did his best to calm you down. He had you lean the phone against your desk so that you could place one hand over your stomach and the other over your heart. He had you use your stomach as a guide to let your lungs fill with air, breathing slowly and letting the tension in your back and neck to ease out. His voice was low, calm, and incredibly soothing in your ear. You may have offered him comfort before, but this was something new entirely. At least Shawn could tell when he needed help. You were so delusional about your own wellbeing that you hadn’t even been aware you needed it. It wasn’t until you felt your heart rate calm and your shoulders drop that you felt infinitely better. With this relief came a rather odd rush of sadness that left you crying in the middle of your office in broad daylight.

“Hey,” He cooed face moving closer to his screen. “Why are you crying, y/n?”

“I don’t even fucking know.” You sighed trying to catch the tears before they fall. “I really thought I was fine, Shawn. I thought I was okay.”

“That’s alright. That’s why I’m here. To catch the things you let slip. You do the exact same thing for me all of this time. It’s okay to lean on me once in a while, you know?”

You nodded softly with a sniffle. “I really do have to go to my meeting though.”

“Go. Call me when you get home from work okay? Take a shower, relax a little bit. I’m a few hours ahead of you here, but just call and I’ll be there. We can talk through it.”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll do that.” You mumbled.

“You’re gonna do great, sweetie. I love you so much, okay?”

“I love you too. I’ll talk to you later.”

*four hours later*

“Is that my bed?” Shawn asked leaning back with an arm behind his head with abs on full display.

Ugh.

You nodded. “I’ve been sleeping here a little better lately...Is that okay?”

“Yea! Of course it is. Nothing makes me happier than you sleeping there. That spaces is yours too. That’s why I gave you the key to begin with.”

“Okay.” You murmured not being able to hide the smile that his words brought to your face. “You could probably send me a sweatshirt or something that you’ve worn recently though. The sheets hardly even smell like you anymore.”

He grinned. “I’d love to sweetheart. It’s just that by the time something could get to you from Amsterdam, I think you might actually have already flown to Amsterdam. I’ll be sure to send you back with plenty of material.”

“Good.”

“So...you ready to talk about it?”

“Ugh, I am surprised you're not a licensed therapist with how much you want me to talk about my feelings.” you whined. “How did you even know it was an anxiety attack?”

“I just remembered when I was going through my panic attacks at first, that I didn’t even know what they were called. The doctor said these two words, panic attack and anxiety attack, and I didn’t really know the difference. They sort of sound the same. But you know how like when it gets really bad for me it’s like...super quick? Like one second I’m just thinking about something bad and then the next I can’t see my way out of it?”

“Yea. That’s usually when we start breathing together.”

He smiled. “Exactly. I guess anxiety attacks can be a little slower. My doctor said they can actually happen over a period of days. It’s what makes them harder to detect, but it can also make them much harder on the body. It’s like thinking about something until it consumes you. Not being able to sleep, irritability--even at very lovable and cuddly boyfriends, muscle tension. You seemed to check a lot of boxes, honey.”

“I’m sure loveable and cuddly boyfriends was right in the symptom description, aye?”

“You’re deflecting.”

“You’re digging.”

“I am trying to take an ounce of burden off your back, and you are making it incredibly difficult.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath telling yourself to stop being such a little bitch. He was there. He wasn’t going to leave. You could trust him.

“It’s okay to talk to me, y/n. I’m not going to hurt you.” He murmured.

You groaned. “I know. I know.”

“It’s just that...if it were anyone else I’d say that you should find someone to talk to, anyone to talk to but I . . .I’m supposed to be your person. You’re my person and I just--I don’t know y/n, how do I help you through this if you won’t let me?”

“I’m trying Shawn. I swear I am.”

“Hey I know. And I’m trying to be understanding of how hard it is for you. But, I’m also trying to help. I’m gonna need you to at least meet me halfway.”

You nodded sullenly, fingers bunching up in the blankets at the thought of failing him, of not being able to be what he needed.

Shawn sighed. “It’s uh...it’s getting pretty late here. Let’s just talk tomorrow, yea?”

You peered at him through the phone unable to discern how deep of a situation this was from halfway across the world.

“Are you angry with me?”

“N--No. Honey, I’m not angry. I’m just...tired. I’ll call you when it’s morning for you okay?”

“Okay. I love you, Shawn.”

“I love you too. Get some sleep.”

That was certainly easier said than done.

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

He’s in the middle of a meeting when his phone starts to buzz on the table. And he can’t help but reach for it just in case it’s y/n. It is.

y/n: so I couldn’t sleep last night. Surprise. And I just kept thinking about everything that you said, and it made feel really shitty.

y/n: not to say that you made me feel shitty just that that’s how I was feeling

y/n: anyway. I couldn’t sleep, so I tried to think about how I feel and I tried to write it down. I thought I could share it with you. Idk if it’ll help at all I just don’t want to keep letting you down.

y/n: so check your email if you have time. I love you. K. Bye.

And of course the rest of his meeting is absolutely useless. Of course all he can think about is her, about what she might be thinking, about what she might be feeling. And there’s a much bigger part of him than he’d like to admit, that’s wants nothing more than to fly home and cuddle the hell out of her until she gets some rest. The distance between the two of them felt heavier than ever.

“You’ve got forty-five minutes for lunch. Then we’re at the venue for run throughs. Final creative meeting for tour outfits after okay?” Andrew ordered.

Shawn nodded already in search of his laptop.

“Can you have Jake bring me something for the drive? I’m not gonna have time for anything else.”

“Why not?”

“Something is wrong with y/n. I need to check in okay?”

He was so unwilling to focus on anything other than y/n that if Andrew had anything else to say, he didn’t notice. He set up his laptop and found a space to sit in the quiet and read.

So...This is weird. I haven’t written anything like this since my diary in the eighth grade. I just um am tired a lot lately. I don’t think it’s work because I love what I do so much. I guess that’s not great either because I just keep working even when I’m exhausted. And it’s not you. Jesus, it most certainly is not you. I keep thinking that my love for is going to plateau or something, but it never does. It just keeps growing infinitely. I’m not sure if it’s the distance between us at the moment. When I first got home it actually felt good to get back into my routine. I think it’s not until I can’t sleep that I roll over and see you aren’t there that it hits me. It’d just so odd for me Shawn. I want to hold you and talk to you and I can’t because you’re not here. And there isn’t anything that either of us can do about it. I’m not used to there not being a solution. I’ve always been so good at solving things, that now that I can’t I feel like a waste of space. And I know that if I told you you’d tell me to call you but you’re six hours ahead of me right now. Everytime we talk it feels like I’m keeping you from something more important, and I don’t want to do that. I want you to be happy and to tour and have all the success in the world. I think also, and this is just me being honest with myself, even with the people I’ve loved most in my life I haven’t always had my needs prioritized.  My mom. My brothers. My dad. So I really try to take care of myself and prioritize myself. I never learned how to let someone else do it for me, because every time I tried I got let down. Your so endlessly kind to me. And you love me like i’ve never been loved before. Me not letting you in when I’m struggling is not malicious it’s just innate. I’m trying to unlearn these things and it’s much harder to do when I don’t even realize that I’m doing them. I’m sorry if I upset you. I’m sorry that you stayed up for me last night only to be disappointed. You mean more to me than a hundred of these pages could explain. I know I keep asking for time, for some leeway, and maybe your getting sick of that. I guess I’m sorry for that too. I promise you it’ll be different, if you let me try. I want to try. I love you enough to do that for us.

He sits with it for a while. There’s a feeling in his chest that he’s never had with y/n before and then there’s another feeling into response to it. He gets out the app on his phone and meditates for a while because he just doesn’t know what it is at first. And it isn’t until after he’s breathed for twenty minutes and they’re in the car on the way to his next meeting that he gets this overwhelming wave of deja vu. It’s so visceral that he feels himself become sixteen again. He watches himself get off the plan in Toronto and drive to his first girlfriend’s house. He watches him explain to her that he’s got to go away and live his dream, and that them being together is only going to hurt her, that it would kill him to keep hurting her. This idea that...it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, it’s never gonna matter, because all I’m ever gonna do it hurt you. And if I love you, if I truly and genuinely love you, then isn’t the greatest act of love I could ever show you to let you go?

It fills him with anger. Anger because this was meant to be different. In hindsight it makes him feel like a child who had been shouting at the top of his lungs that he knew something that he so clearly didn’t. Maybe Andrew was right. Maybe Brian had gotten annoyed for a legitimate reason. Maybe their love wasn’t what he thought it was. Or, even worse, maybe there love was everything it felt like. Maybe it was larger than the two of them, maybe it was complex and beautiful and wonderful. But, maybe that only meant it would consume them in the end.

After that there’s nothing but sorrow. Because his thread, his being, his life was so deeply intertwined with her’s that he could see no way out, couldn’t imagine not being with her.

For the first time in a long time he was completely at a loss. And it seemed as though he had opened up a can of worms that was only going to hurt them in the end. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

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