#yea yea i hate amazon too
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bibleofficial · 2 months ago
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amazon is off their shit w the way they put ads in everything i HATE how the new ‘premium model’ is just … without ads. like buy an amazon fire tv & have ads built into ur television. a billboard in ur living room
#stream#ads are fucking EVERYWHERR#like fire sticks have ads#KINDLES have ads#everything has a fucking AD !!!!!!!!!!#like honestly i was going to return the apple tv & just stick w the hdmi cable & my computer connected to it but it’s just#a) not feasible b) investing in the apple tv works bc im always on my fucking phone ALSKALKSLAKSLKSLA#my phone or ipad which r both apple#BUT ALAO THE STEAM DECK FOR APPLE TV#THEN U CAN STREAM UR WINDOWS COMPUTER ON THE TV#so yea there’s that at least#but the cost ….#it was over 200 FUCKIN POINDS#i hate my LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but i use this tv constantly !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& i can just plug it into a separate monitor that i plan on getting at some point in the future !!!!!!!!!!!#bc i do need a separate monitor truthfully i do ive like a 13’’ computer & ive open a billion fuckin things at once#like i use my computer + ipad as 2 different computers but its a PAIN bc i can’t just ‘copy & paste’ over to the OTHER SCREEN#i don’t even LIKE amazon i HATE amazon w a PASSION#i just have to use it here bc the uk has destroyed themselves in terms of the high street#i.e. there are no more ‘business districts’ or liek ‘shopping districts’ bc a) rent too high b) interest rates too high c) nobody has any#fucking money d) amazon’s business model is to undercut EVERYONE to drive them out of business bc AMAZON IS A FUCKING MONOPOLY THAT THE US#ADAMANTLY REFUSES TO BREAK#like if u build & manufacture all ur own shit … in ur own factories … then send it to the customer … through ur OWN mail system … and SELL#it though ur own STORE FRONT ….. & SELL EVERYTHING ELSE THROUGH THE SAME WAY …..#ITS A MONOPOLY#like for example: the apple tv on amazon i got for 20£ less than apple even though they’re both#british#not ‘they’re both british’ i mean the apple tv are uk versions not us versions#apple: undercut. but also apple doesn’t change price per currency. 59$ for whatever is 59£ that’s it lol it’s not less bc $ is weaker
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somerandomg33k · 8 months ago
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I just got paid today. About $2100 in net pay. Typical for about 110 to 120 hours of work over two weeks. So $375 into the joint account I share with my brothers that I live with to cover for my portion of rent and bills. And I will put another $375 next paycheck. $700 towards the Chase Amazon credit card. $200 to the bank credit card. $150 to my friend Lynnaquinn, good enough for groceries this week for her and her spouse, hopefully. And $250 for Johanna to get her out of the red and have enough for her phone bill, hopefully. Accounting for the $106 payment for my PC, and all other future charges covered on my two credit cards, I pretty much have $383 left in the checking account today. Or will once all of other the charges go through. So yea, just got paid $2100 and it is almost gone.
And still want to spend a little money on myself. Spending $100 for vbucks just to get more Fortnite skins, even after owning 573 of them. And after already spending $6000 on Fortnite in the two years I have been playing it. Getting myself a frozen pizza just because as well.
But yet, part of me just wants to instantly give Phoenix the $380. Because they are also really struggling. They expressed they can't keep going on like this. Been like this for years for Phoenix.
Another Paycheck that once I instantly get it, I need another one. I don't have enough to make sure my friends have a comfortable life. I don't have enough to get my teeth fixed. Haven't been to the dentist in years. And I emotionally broke down at the suggestion I should focus on myself and take care of my credit card debt. But that also feels impossible.
I hate budgeting. So I am really really bad at doing it. I just feels like not spending money at all. When Fortnite players, like my friends, talk about "saving vbucks" there is no such thing as saving vbucks. All saving vbucks is is simply not spending vbucks. Not getting the skins you want in the item shop.
The only way I see making any dent into my credit card debt is not giving money to my friends in need. Not spending as much money as I do. Or working as much overtime as I can. 12 hours days 6 days a week. Or any combination of the three, or all three. And when I do work 12-hour days, I have like 15 fifteen minutes in the morning, all used to get dressed and leave for work, and then whatever time I give myself when I come home for the evening, which is maybe two hours at most. And no more because I shouldn't stay up beyond 2 am.
I don't know how much more I need to earn at my job to feel whole. Or to feel well. Maybe double what I make now. But how fucking likely will that happen for someone without a college degree in this economy.
But I fucking hate thinking like this. I hate being concern with money. I hate getting pay over $2000 and it is still not enough. I hate that my friends are in poverty and will probably just never get out of it. I hate there is no end in sight for this cycle. I hate the fucking system that we live in. And hate how there are many people that will defend Capitalism. Or believe, "You just have to vote for the right people to be our benevolent dictator. And they will improve the system. #VoteBlueNoMatterWho." I hate feeling powerless to end of this misery. And I have other friends and family members that are suffering too..... I just feel..... bleph.... meh .... urg.....
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melodythebunny · 10 months ago
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maybe someday
Valentine's day.
Roxxi couldn't say she outright hated the holiday- given how it was mainly for companies to exploit and earn more money. 
But rather it was just a sore reminder of just how alone she was. Her, Roxanne Fowler, the biggest reporter in Fair City, alone. Maybe not truly alone. But did it count when she was surrounded by a bunch of fakes?
“Heya, Roxxi rocks.”
Roxanne raised her eyebrow at her approaching coworker. Freddy Fahrenheit, the weather man.
“hello Freddy.” Roxanne greeted.
“Y’know with Valentine's coming up I figured-”
She cuts him off, not even mildly interested. “No thanks, I have plans already.”
That was a lie of course. Knowing she would just spend her day cooped up in her apartment avoiding the world. But Freddy didn't have to know that.
She didn't miss how his face turned into a scowl for a moment. Very brief in fact. Not many would notice. But she learned to read faces long ago. For a moment she wonders if she had misjudged him. That was quickly squashed however in the following days where it had been apparent she had dodged a bullet.
Roxxane didn't hate her job.
But it became bluntly clear she didn't get this job off her intelligence. Part of it was for the money her family funded for the news station. And they just wanted a pretty face for the screens. So it wasn't a surprise for Roxxi when people wanted her around. Knowing why.
Still left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Then there was Amazo Guy.
He was like a breath of fresh air. Too good to be true. He was just so…genuine. The first time Roxxane had to do a cover story, admittedly she was excited. Having been somewhat of a superhero comic book fan growing up, it felt like a dream come true. She winded up asking more questions than what was written down for her to ask.
She stopped seeing how overwhelmed he was becoming. Amazon didn't say anything but she could see him holding a strained smile, one she often used.
Oh…
“Sorry..I got excited..and I know that's not a valid excuse…” Roxxi says earnestly. 
“It's alright. I get that it's your job and I've had way more invasive questions than that.” Amazo said, trying to wave it off.
The news reporter glanced down at her paperwork realizing she hadn't even begun writing down anything. “Nah these weren't even on my task list. you know what…”  She yeeted her clipboard somewhere behind her. “We don't even have to do this interview if you don't want to.”
“Really?” The hero looked at her perplexed but she could also see he seemed a bit relieved.
“Yea, really.” Roxxane said. She found herself meaning it too. More and more often did she start realizing that the ones behind the capes and masks were people too. Constantly having to deal with expectations of others. Often judged and opinions discarded as Long as the others got what they wanted.
Maybe she and Amazo guy weren't so different after all.
Perhaps that's why she began to fall for him. Roxxi hadn't even noticed until she looked at the card she had made. Her face flushed with embarrassment.
Lois Lane to your Superman. She had written.
How cheesy.
a few poetic lines couldn't tell him how much he meant to her. She crumpled the paper and tossed it into a trashcan.
She looked at the photo she had taken with Amazo guy. She really was supposed to unmask him. But honestly didn't care about what her bosses wanted. Couldn't fire her without losing the funding they craved.
She found herself unwrinkling her crumpled card.
Maybe someday…
@blueweirdness
@ninjastormhawkkat
@erraticeris
@lartmacabre
@liloskull343
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lillyspeakz · 2 months ago
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Okayyy I'm finally back
My favourite songs are definately Amazon standing lamp, i resonate too much with it. It really felt like there was no hope. The line "my girls the world she fucks my life" reminded me of how I feel, bc i really loved that person so much I would literally do anything for them to the point I'll forget what my life was all about bc i care too much about them, yet i don't give a damn about how my charecter was breaking bit by bit, through constant arguments day and night it was exhausting. "Hit me now before this gets too cute" is another line bc, with my partner it would either be extremely love bombing or extream torment to the point I'm being shamed for doing something not their way. "But your right there's so much shit inside my mind I must confess a second time, alot of friends have left my life", this bc they kept telling that the reason I get mad, or the way I don't act the way I do, is bc i" was not in my senses', a lot of friend s did leave my life bc i stopped interacting with them cuz according to them they were toxic...or whatever
Around the pomegranate is my top favourite bc i kinda felt the same way after it all ended. And the part where the extra music hits and Wilbur is screaming just makes me realise how much fucked up is "fucks up" really meant.
I also loved (and kinda hated) I don't think it will ever end.
The reason I love it is cuz this is how I talk to myself alot of the time, and the voices in the back of my brain always feel like they are making fun of me (yk just like how Wilbur is saying i get silly and the high pitch voices are kinda making fun of him). Yk when your partner constantly hates you/shames you/ makes you feel like your the bad guy, makes you think that you yourself are the bad guy, you start to believe it and in doing that you creat more self hatred towards yourself, that you don't even deserve. At the end of the song Wilbur quotes down, it just means that no one wanted to listen to what he has going on. And in personal experience the same thing happened to me. My problems my mental health never matters, it's always about them them them. When I feel down, they would take an example of themselves and be like yea but then i got better so, your not alone. Which ig is sweet but, it never really gives a solution to what i must do, nor does it give me a shoulder to cry on like they promised
The reason why I hate the song as well is bc OF FICKING BO BURNHAM!/j
Bo Burnham 2 songs "ATL" and " it'll stop any day now" this song is literally the baby blog these two other songs. Which i Actually thing is funny, and i don't really hate it that much as u expect. And ofcourse, Wilbur is a huge fan of bo Burnham I'm sure we all remember right?
Imm sending another ask after ending this one
^^^
Posting these so I can answer later, I’m can’t really speak
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hazelcephalopod · 2 years ago
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Some thoughts on Carnival Row (spoilers both seasons)-
- this show feels like a remake of a late 90’s to early aughts cartoon but with a gritty adult vibe. I say this with affection.
-I think if this was maybe a movie or maybe they had just gone a slightly different direction this would have really taken off. Even as is though it think it’s vastly underrated, like it has problems -oh boy does it-, but the steampunk-ish early 20th century vibe plus fantasy set in an entirely new world is cool. Just the vibes, they are great. (Ps it could actually be gaslight punk or something).
- I really hope the “New Dawn” revolutionary group from the Pact might be good guys? Like not perfect, but I’d like the communists to maybe make some lasting good change on the world? I’m probably putting my clown make up on with that a little. On the other hand I am deeply pessimistic they are going to also be the villains. I hope I’m wrong, I hope they are a nuanced faction which does offer support but maybe is doing some fucked up stuff too, which just pales in comparison to the rest of the world atm.
- I wish the Fae were more like, visibly on screen queer and poly instead of just minor lip service to back up the mostly obscure world building for that. The poly part I get is slightly more… a sign of some progress in that even talking about it as a good thing is a positive. But this could be more queer. (I got a whole thing about how it seems like Amazon especially doesn’t like mlm on screen but that does extend to queer people as a whole).
- there is a fuck ton of worldbuilding and I’m sad we won’t be able to see much more of it. I think it could be really neat.
Ok so, plot opinions time.
- I enjoy Imogen and Agreaus but they really are just in a different show, I’m hopeful their involvement with the New Dawn is going to lead to them being used to support the Row and the Fae in the Burgue. Tbf I’m not really annoyed by them just off doing whatever, I just think it’s kinda funny, but it is a show.
- plot point 2. Flying into the Burgue State dinner was… a choice. A very dangerous and likely deadly one. The core “show them what is happening to us and how we are suffering” is good but like… these people are just inches from, uhhh, mass murder -well, more of it? Dahlia deciding she *had* to be the one to go was odd to me, because it seemed like a death mission right? The power play of showing up to that dinner, when they aren’t even supposed to be able to leave the Row, well that’s a threat and like I said solutions in the Burgue are, um, very death oriented at the moment. Which, I thought maybe Dahlia might be smart enough to try a “how about you do that and I will coordinate from here (and hopefully you die because I hate you)” to Vin. But, nope she went herself with a handful of others most of whom died -though I think it wasn’t at the dinner, I need to rewatch. The woman with Bas Dubh (is that black death? It’s not translated for me, but it’s pretty much just Irish yea? I don’t recall the meaning of “bas” If any [edit yea it’s Black Death]) anyway she was shot. So. Idk if the garnering sympathy worked. Personally I think maybe a gathering of both common people and some of the politicians would have been most ideal. But I know the point was stopping Philo, bringing us too-
- Philo, really dude? You hid you half fae status your entire life -because the discrimination is so bad in the Burgue- and now it’s “oh now that I’ve revealed that, I can totally uh, convince all these violent bigots to listen to me -someone they no longer see as a person- that their leader is, illegitimate and murder-y?” What? Again, the solutions are very murder oriented and idk, doubt they will listen. Maybe I’m being the asshole pessimist here idk, but I just don’t think that’s how a systems like that works.
- counterpoint to the general murderous political environment in the Burgue. Primarily from seeing some of the Burgue owner class being like “this whole confining our workforce with a police state is really hurting our bottom line” was something. I hope, but doubt, it will be explored more. For instance, some of them should be plotting a coup. B/c when the government begins to threaten their bottom line many companies will decide “how get rid of this?” And choose “overthrow the whole government, consequences be damned”.
- I think it’s was a Pact (feudalist) dignitary or soldier who shot the woman with Bas Dubh, which could indicate that they are in fact the worse guys in that conflict and the New Dawn could be primarily helpful later on.
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naughtysweet · 2 years ago
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Brooklyn Book Club| Science Children Books| Where Brooklyn Astronaut™ Supports Leadership For Our Young Children Attending School | 
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Written by Tanisha Blades Friday March 24, 2023. 
Life is funny sometimes. Growing up as a kid I hated reading, I mean with a passion. We got all this boring material from the Teacher In class and I just wanted to play video games with my friends online. And come home and watch my favorite cartoon afterwards. Sound Familiar?  
Well yea I was a kid too, but what made the ironic difference for me is that I had a Young Man Name Gabriel Thomas who had a very powerful and positive influence on my life at an early age. 
He taught me that successfully people read, and gave me my first book by Author Burke Hedges called "Read & Grow Rich." This taught me the value of reading. Then I started to get into other genre's of reading like science children books. "Mr Gregory and his adventures" was one of my favorite science children books to read in
 Elementary School. Which eventually lead to my science children books series from 5-12 years old. With Science Books For 8 Year Olds, Science Books For 10 Year Olds. In fact my very first customer was surprised that I had science books for 5 Year Olds, because his son was 5 years old and thoroughly enjoyed my book series. Another customer of mine when I was sell my children's books in Brooklyn & in Manhattan Time Square 42 street, my customer from Seattle NY filmed her 7 year old son reading my book. So yes I have science books for 7 year olds as well. I was so surprised and taken back that reading science children books  was actually interested in all these different topics on books and because of the young mentor in my life I started to go from hating reading to loving children's books , and others genre's to the point where I have to finish the story, reading it cover to cover. 
Once my perspective on learning and reading change, being an avid reader lead me to forming and starting my own Publishing Company putting out my first children's books in the Brooklyn Astronaut series. The series teaches science astrology, life lessons, diverse communities to encourage our youth to step out of there comfort zone and be willing to work with others as they become adults in their careers or future business's. As well as teaching in my children's books the value of what Mentorship can do for a youth as they Dream Big though Education. 
Ater being severely injured in a life & death experience. I can't read or write as much as I did before my life changing injury, but that male influence in my life was very important. Gabrielle Thomas also got me into Reading books in history as well and so I incorporated all of these things that I was blessed by God and fortune to have that even though I didn't get along with my father, I still had that Male Figure Mentor. 
And That is really what Brooklyn Astronaut Jamuel's Journey To The Moon is all about. Me representing the city I was born in with another classic Brooklyn Book, and here is my Brooklyn book summary;
The Tour Guide is Jamuel's Mentor in the story to show him the connection of Dreams being closely link to Reality. 
The whole books is building up anticipation for the Brooklyn Science Museum. Showing it takes a village to raise a child. Brooklyn Astronaut is a Brooklyn book series that personally speak to the uplifting family values and the nourishment and support every young child needs when pursuing there Dreams. 
This Brooklyn Book was inspired by the people in my own community who raised me and a childhood friend name Jamuel. So that's my very own Brooklyn book and Brooklyn book summary. And below are a few incredible folks with the personal Brooklyn book review. 
Naureen a mother with her own loving family, decided to do an incredible honest Brooklyn book review on my Amazon page. Click Link Here To See Naureen Brooklyn book review👇
https://www.amazon.com/product -reviews/B0779JMDG1/ref=cm_cr othr_mb_show_all_top?ie=UTF8& reviewerType=all_reviews
Caro another customer of mine also left their Brooklyn book review on how Brooklyn Astronaut is just a lovable story for children to read. Check out there full review on my Amazon page. 
Click Here👇 https://www.amazon.com/product -reviews/B0779JMDG1/ref=cm_cr othr_mb_show_all_top?ie=UTF8& reviewerType=all_reviews
In the process of producing my first children's books in did the book cover 10 times asking strangers for feedback. Majority said the illustrations reminded them of a 90's art style. Children's Books in the 90's I think my Brooklyn book would have been great pick for that. Unfortunately I was too young and being born in the beginning of the 90's maybe am just an old soul. 
But In years to come I hope my  culture can be pick for a children's book in the 90's 
You can learn more about  the Indie  Publisher, Author , & Illustrator Jermain O.Smith, personal brand story of recovering from a life and death experience that inspired him in his Christian Faith to sow seeds of hope and greatness into our black communities with each book. So our own kids, New Favorite Video game will be a book they enjoy reading while sipping on some hot Cocoa cozy in a corner some where. 
To purchase and support this Author's Future Works Inspiring Mentorship & leadership in our youth, though our children Dreaming Big, Click the link below to visit our Amazon site.
Children's Brooklyn Astronaut Book Series when you click the link below and visit our Amazon Author Page.👇 https://www.amazon.com/Brooklyn-Astronaut-Jamuels-Journey-Moon-ebook/dp/B0779JMDG1
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x-v-1-x-3-n-x · 11 months ago
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yeah but like maybe we could focus on dismantling the corporations putting millions of tons of plastic in the ocean first? maybe? instead of “hate female popstar because jets!!!” and think about how sprite changed the color of their iconic bottles because they were too easy to identify in landfills? or how the amazon rainforest is being destroyed? like just maybe we could focus on that and eating THOSE rich people instead.. i think that might be more productive than “youre a bad person for liking t swizzle bc she has a jet” bc i see this argument a lot and yea sure taylor swift is rich and makes unethical environmental choices but like who gives a fuck…. i still LEGALLY make $2/hour (yes im tipped but im only GUARANTEED twenty bucks if i work a ten hour shift) and there still are no rental caps and we are in a recession and maybe there are more important things we could put our time and energy into than debating if celebrities should be vored or not just maybe.
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blckgrlmov13s · 4 months ago
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Book review
(omg i cant believe i’m doing this!)
From my never ending list of “influenced by TikTok”, I stumbled upon Terms and Conditions last year. I recently stumbled back across it like two months ago and for two months it sat in my amazon cart…until now! Slight spoilers ahead
I will say it took me about a week to finish it (sporadic reading around the beginning and then I was ultra locked in for that last like 20 chapters😭). Sitting at about 470 pages, with 47 chapters AND two epilogues(!!), this is a dual POV book (I hope that makes sense). I did love seeing things from both of their perspectives. Cute lil interracial, age gap, romance book, and bitches was giggling and kicking their feet every 10 pages👀 Declan and Iris are truly the most functional dysfunctional relationship. I will admit office romance and fake marriages are not my thing most of the time, yet this one was a little charming.
Plot wise, I wish it was longer, but I feel like the ending that was given was a perfect closing for their relationship. Now I do wish that I realized this book is a sequel and bought the first one. But I can’t wait to buy the first one AND the last one🫣 I will say that the couple is very VERY dysfunctional, but clearly it works for them. Declan just crosses the line for me one to many times. (SPOILER) Especially in the end of the book where they took the business partner to Dreamland to sell him of making Tokyo Dreamland a thing and him kirking off on Iris and his brother because the dad was there. Look i’m all for hating bad parents but damn that was too low of a blow for him to even be given the centimeter of grace. Iris needed to stand up for real. I will admit after he got some sense knocked into him, yea, the dog and the soccer mom van, shit the house were very generous offers, shit was cute. YET that man just went and tore your entire purpose to shreds…there wouldn’t have been no proposal, no NOTHINGGGGGGGGG if that was me…but its not🤷🏾‍♀️
I want to give his book a crystal clear rating of a 4.5 out of 5⭐️I thoroughly enjoyed this story and it will be read again ESPECIALLY once I get my hands on the 1st and last book ^_^
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theswitchsteinenigma · 4 months ago
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“Well how do I sign off on this?”
“Well this is switch’s ideas alone so switch.”
Wtf did I mean by that??? My inner dialogue gets a little too strong sometimes like I arguing and conversing with myself is an understatement. But I all I can say is this is switched page and switches ideas alone.
Switch being me. I’m switch. I just have a lot of nicknames but you all here will know me as SwitchStein, switch for short but not stein that’s a different story.
Anyways I’ve been sewing a reversible purse out of a pair of shorts. It’s so cool. I fucking hate sewing zippers so it has a lot of clasps buttons and Velcro. Ironically the pattern is drawings of gold chains but all the actual metal hardware on the purse itself is gun metal black,? It has belt loops and I think I’m gonna give it a real belt and put a ridiculous belt buckle on it. Just because I can 🤪 and of course I’m a hoarder so I have a handful of belt buckles and belts already now the issue is finding them.
I’d like to explain my art and how I do things as much as possible until the inevitable happens. Idk life is a crazy thing and an even weirder thing as an artist. A scarier thing as a starving artist lol. I’m moving at the end of the month so if you want anything from me now is the time to get it.
I’m moving at the end of August so any orders placed before the 20th should be out by the 30th anything placed after will be worked on but won’t be out until September I’m always on my phone and always able to update if you feel like I’m taking to long feel free to bug me I’ll drop what I’m doing if you bug me XD just don’t be mean I’m a person and an artist not Amazon. 😘🫶
The most comprehensive list of things you can commission from me for the time being.
Traditional art: pen pencil colored pencils marker on paper, can be laminated or turned into stickers.
Digital art: icons, profile pics, banner art, full page art, comic panels, refrence sheets, furries, people, weird things
Jewelry: rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, in a variety of materials like plastic pony beads, glass beads, big and small beads, chains and charms, wire rings and gem wrapping, home made pendants, keychains I like to make more complex layered maximalist jewelry but I can make simple stuff too
Custom clay beads in almost any shape customize sizes number of holes or hooks colors finished ect ect
Custom Gotcha pouch curation: give me an aesthetic I quote you a price you get a clear gatcha pouch keychain full of art and trinkets and other matching keychains I can do this for licensed characters and original characters
Custom clothes: tshirts: dying and bleaching patterns and art as well as full paintings, small embroidery, battle vests and jackets, patches, flannels with custom back panel patches or paintings, paintings on denim jeans or shorts, purses and bags made out of jeans pants or any sort of odd alterations. You can send me items and I can turn them into stuffed animals or purses or you can tell me what you want I’ll find it and quote you and go buy it and alter it.
Oulfit curation/ personal shopping: I can build oulfits, cup accessory bundles, nerdy collection bundles. Want a whole new goth wardrobe with matching keychains and vinyl skull panda figure collection but don’t feel like spending hours finding those things give me a few perfect details and I could build you carts across multiple platforms and place orders and ship them all to you in one night one transaction for you instead of 100’s and all the same fun online purchases.
Okay that’s all for now.
Switch
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evermoreparker · 4 years ago
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Biggest Fan
Synopsis: When you and Tom realize how much your baby daughter loves Frozen, Tom decides to surprise her playing her favorite song, but she doesn't have the reaction he was hoping for.
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A/n: Hey!! So I'm super excited to share this fic that started out as me sending a cute video to my incredible friend @kidney9-9 until I asked her if she wanted to write this fic with me. Go check all her work, she's an incredible writer, and I'm so lucky to have such a sweet friend. :) Let us know if you like it!! 💖💖
A/n 2: hi y'all hope you enjoy this colab! it was super fun and amazing, please follow and make sure to read my friend's writing! it's all incredible and so cool! :) thank you for reading!💖💖
It was a quiet evening, just relaxing at home with Tom and Sophie, when you heard the familiar strums of a guitar. It was only a few notes at first until you recognized the song that your husband was playing. It was a sweet song with such sweet memories that made you lull into a thought of the past.
As soon as the soft knock on Elsa's door stopped and Anna started singing, your daughter looked at the TV screen as if it was the sweetest melody she has ever heard and it made Tom's heart melt. The way Sophie's eyes were so focused on the screen made you laugh, it's like she was hypnotized. As soon as the song ended, she went running to you and Tom, telling you two how much she loved that part of the movie and the song.
Over the next few days, you and Tom giggled and chuckled about Sophie’s concentration and seriousness in practicing the song. You even watched her as she tried to make a dance routine, it was so cute and precious. One of the days, she even got into your closet and put an old pair of heels on, saying it was her turn to perform. You and Tom cheered her on as she belted out to her new favorite song, telling her how amazing she was.
Knowing how much your daughter loved that song, Tom learned how to play it on his guitar and how to sing the lyrics for Sophie. Tom practiced for that all week, because who cares if he's got to memorize Spiderman lines for the next movie, he needs to impress his baby daughter first. On Sunday he was finally ready to give your daughter the performance she deserved, but what he didn't expect was how much she hated it.
You started recording once Tom gave you the go-ahead and placed the phone down in a steady position on the table. You sat back quietly as Sophie walked into the room, confused at the sound of the guitar. She was usually at daycare when Tom practiced the song, or asleep. Tom chuckled, feeling excited to show her the song he’s been practicing.
Instead of the original “Elsa?” In the beginning of the song, he replaced it with Sophie, and you giggled a bit, glancing over to her. “Sophie? Do you wanna build a snowman? C’mon let’s go and play!” Tom sang, smiling widely as he watched Sophie unfold what was happening.
She struggled to say something at first, making Tom sure that she enjoyed it but the moment she opened her mouth, he realized he was wrong. “NO! NO! Stop it right now!”
Knowing how self conscious Tom gets about his voice you weren't sure if you should laugh at your 3 year old daughter hating her dad singing and playing for the first time to someone other than you. Before you could say something, Sophie turned to her dad who seemed confused about if he should keep playing, knowing how you two have the same weird sense of humor and this could be another one of his daughter's jokes.
Uncertain of his next movement, Tom went back to just playing his guitar, too scared of his daughter hating his voice. Before he could even touch the first string Sophie snatched the guitar with her little hands, shouting out,  ''No more Frozen for you!''
Sophie tried to take her dad's guitar out of his hands, but she realized it's useless to carry something that heavy, instead, she went to her room and searched for the Olaf plush one of her many uncles got her as soon as they heard about her newest obsession. Holding it tight as if it was the real character, she sang to it softly the melody that she loves the most in the world.
Back in the living room, you and Tom stared at each other for a few silent seconds, confused about what Sophie did. “What? I thought she loved that song.” Tom spoke up, a bit dejected and upset. He didn’t understand her reaction at all but he snapped out of his thoughts once he felt you place your hand on his shoulder, after you stopped the video.
“I think she does. Don’t be upset babe. I think she wasn’t expecting that!” You cheered him up, smiling back to him. You didn’t want to laugh in front of him in case that gave him the wrong impression, but you found it adorable that Sophie stopped him that way. You never saw her act that way before, but you could tell she really cared about Frozen.
“Maybe? I’m just confused why she did that.” Tom responded, shrugging back to you. After another moment, you sent him another sweet smile, still finding his song incredible.
“You’re a great singer and guitarist, honey. Maybe she was jealous or something.” You reassured him once more.
Tom still thought that something went wrong with his voice, until you tried to lighten up the mood. ''Did you see how she held the guitar strings to try to stop you from going again?'' You chuckled, and Tom put the guitar aside so that he could put his hands on his face. For a second you were worried that you said something wrong that would make him more upset, but he took his hands off his face. And then you saw that he was trying to hold back his laugh, and that was a sound that you loved to hear. ''I'm just glad she didn't throw something at me''
''C'mon,'' You tried to restrain yourself from laughing, but you ended up joining your husband. ''It wasn't that bad!'' You said while losing your breath from laughing too hard.
''I mean, I'm sure I won't be able to dress up Frozen themed for her birthday next month now.'' He said, understanding that would only make you laugh more. ''Man, I had the dress and everything, even bought the blonde wig on Amazon.'' He pretended to be upset about it, and almost immediately looked at you to see if you were amused.
A few quiet minutes went by before you two heard Sophie’s voice carry through the house. You knitted your eyebrows together, instantly recognizing the tune she was singing and Tom tilted his head to the side as well. “Is that what I think it is?” He mumbled to you as you started to smile more, nodding your head back to his question.
“Let’s go check up on her.” You whispered back, not wanting Sophie to hear you while she sang. You got up from the couch, along with Tom and slowly walked up the stairs, hearing her voice get louder.
“Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman. Go away, Anna! Okay, bye.” Sophie continued, not noticing you and her dad in the doorway. She was playing with her Olaf plushie, making him dance along to her song.
You glanced back to Tom, chuckling silently as he smiled back over to Sophie, proud she was singing. He understood why she acted that way now; that song was special to her and only her. Maybe she didn’t want to hear her dad sing it and possibly embarrass her.
Tom wrapped his arm around your shoulder, clearing his throat once Sophie stopped singing.
As the newest singer in the family stopped her performance, you two sat on Sophie's bed waiting for her to continue while smiling, encouraging her to keep going. When she went back to her little concert, you smiled at Tom while leaning into whisper, ''Watch and learn how your daughter is not shy at all about singing in front of people.''
He scoffed knowing you were just teasing him. ''Please, we don't count. She has seen you cry, and sing, over Louis Tomlinson's solo on History.''
''Hey! That's low, you know how that song makes me cry, it's their last song, it's their goodb-'' Tom stopped you before you told him again how much that song meant to you and the fans. ''Ok ok I'm sorry babe, I think it's a great solo, I'd cry if I was a fan too.'' He said while putting your head on his shoulder. ''Don't talk shit about my boyband, that's my Frozen.''
Tom laughed at your reference, and turned around seeing his daughter suddenly quiet. She climbs on Tom's lap, while you two hug and congratulate her on her amazing performance. Too caught up on the family hug, you didn’t notice your daughter leaning to whisper in her dad's ear.
''Daddy?''
''Yea my love?'' He hummed back.
''What's shit?'' Tom's eyes widened as he looked at you begging for you to help him. You raised your eyebrows at him and shrugged before leaning over to Sophie.
“Don’t know, I heard him say it first.”
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scarefox · 3 years ago
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Kids with rich / high society parents which pay them everything and save them from every little inconvenience, srsly are so frustrating.
One of my coaches (21y) is like "Why do people even work in bad underpaying jobs? Isn't it their own fault for signing the contract under those conditions? I don't really pity them they could just not work there." Gurl... I like you but your opinions are trash sometimes.
Or a student coworker at amazon, also early 20s. Our student life and experience is like night and day + she's super ignorant/rude. She is the kind of rich kid who got a horse as a gift as a child and she's "addicted" to short cheap vacation flights she finds in an app. She literally doesn't care for covid, she still flew during the rough covid times. It was like 8 vacations in half a year... I was the last time (inland) before uni which is about 6 years ago.... Also her parents pay for the horse of course and her student life. She's thinking of switching majors as well like it’s nothing that costs money and time, just because it's too boring (I mean yes, switch if it’s not your thing but most people take more care in deciding what they study because it’s a lot of money and time they invest).
I don't even know why she works at amazon... probably just for a bit of pocket money. She hates it like we all do. But she just works 3 days per month!! Where I need 2-3 work days per week to pay my bills (and currently I have to fight to get enough days because amazon miscalculated and is overstaffed atm...).
She ignores safety rules for packages. Like when there are open packages we need to sort them out for repairing and check up (if everything is still inside or if maybe someone put a bomb inside... We are working at an airport). She just closes them and puts them back into the system, even after I told her....
She ignores you over her phone. We have a few hours waiting time during the work. With other coworkers you just chat, chill together or find something to do. If you are paired with her you get ignored....
Told her that I plan to become an official amazon worker (instead of student job over a different company) in part time till i find a better job. And she's like "Oh no, I advice you to not do that. This job is horrible! " BISH.. I know??? But I don't have rich parents and I hate to ask my parents for money in general. Have to pay off a student loan on top of living in unstable times like this
Oh yea I forgot. She wants to just join in her fathers company after she quits amazon.... 🤷‍♂️
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linorangge · 4 years ago
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Stray Kids Maid Outfit Scenarios!
 (requested by anon !)
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Chan:
- you were scrolling thru amazon, looking for dog costumes for barry
- and a maid costume showed up in the recommended
- you showed Chan
- u were like “haha imagine u wore this”
- nd he giggled nd stared at the costume for a hot minute
- three days later (bc y'all have amazon prime ofc) 
- he made u sit on ur living room couch nd close ur eyes
- he walked out in the maid outfit nd told u to open ur eyes
- u slapped ur hand over ur mouth in disbelief
- the outfit fit him tight in some places
- specifically his arms nd the top part of his torso 
- u just stared at him in silence
- “does it look ok?”
- he got rlly bushy when u nodded 
- “u look so cute” 
- nd then u had a lil photoshoot of him in the outfit LMAO
- nd he stole some of the photos nd showed the boys 
- nd they were like “????? nice ?????”
- yea
Minho:
- u guys were out shopping
- he didn't rlly go to buy anything
- he went more for u
- while at a lil anime march store u pointed out sum fan art of an anime boy in a maid costume
- “look ! u should wear something like that”
- u said it as a joke 
- but u he looked so disgusted with u LMAO
- “I would literally never wear that”
- “ur insane for thinking id ever wear something like that”
- “omg it was a joke ugh”
- nd he rolled his eyes at u
- nd then he felt bad so he bought u coffee
- a week later it was ur bday
- when everyone had left ur place lino made u stay in the bedroom while he changed in the bathroom
- nd he walked into ur room with the outfit
- he had a feather duster nd everything 
- you laughed so hard 
- he sauntered yes sauntered up to u
- “I think knee highs work for me”
- he didn't have shoes on
- but u best believe that mf wore the knee high socks anyway
- his thighs looked great 
- “u look better in it than me”
- “I've never seen u in a maid costume”
- u were both like 👁👁
- nd he started flinging the layers off nd forced u to wear it too
Changbin:
- u made the suggestion nd got it for him as a joke
- it was sitting in the back of his closet for the longest time
- he rlly didn't want to
- but he did it for u
- bc ur his favorite person ever
- u came home to see him in the outfit, sitting on the couch
- he was watching tv
- he was like “omg hey”
- nd u were like “??????? hi ?”
- u literally stared at him
- nd then u made him stand up nd u fluffed up the skirt for him nd adjusted it
- “u look rlly pretty” 
- he got kinda shy “u think so?”
- he was rlly blushy
- he liked seeing the happy little smile on ur face
- after awhile he got comfy nd he was ok wearing it
- nd then he walked around ur house like that for awhile b4 changing
Hyunjin:
- HATED the idea
- literally stared @ u like -____-
- you’d mention the idea a lot just to piss him off
- you’d bring it up randomly 
- “UGH whatever that’s why u won't wear the maid costume”
- “omfg SHUT UP”
- nd one day he brought it up to the members
- nd they were like 😏
- “do it”
- “wtf no”
- nd they went to the store with him to force him to buy it
- he bought the outfit with extreme hesitation
- nd then he pulled up to ur house with the maid oufit
- he showed u the outfit 
- nd u were like :0
- nd he was like 
- “I'll let u help me put it on”
- nd u did
- and he hated it 
-  but he did it anyway
- and then he saw how happy it made you
- and he regretted wearing it way less
- and then he made u take pics of him to prove to the members he wore it
Jisung:
- he was so down 
- like he was READY
- he made u drive him to some store and buy it as soon as possible 
- there wasn’t much convincing for you to do
- u asked him as a joke 
- nd he was like
- “FUCK THAT IS SO CUTE”
- so he picked out the maid costume
- along with cat ears
- and then u guys got home
- nd u helped him button the backside
- nd then he made u fix his hair nd put the ears on him
- he was so excited PLS
- you gave him endless compliments to boost his already enormous ego
- nd then he took pics
- he made u take pics with him
- nd then he posted them LMAO
- everyone went mf crazy
Felix:
- lix saw the outfit in a catalogue u had
- nd he showed u how pretty it was
- u jokingly said you’d get it for him
- nd he was like 
- “ :D rlly?”
- nd u ended up getting it for him
- for his bday actually
- he was so happy
- way happier than you’d expected
- the next day he put it on nd showed u
- “I should work at one of those maid cafes”
- he asked u to fluff it for him
- pls this baby
- he literally loves it
- him and Jisung had similar reactions
- he took pics too
- he didn't upload them tho
- he kept them more for u and him
- in conclusion
- Jisung cat boy
Seungmin:
- he was not into the idea at all
- you suggested he’d look cute
- nd he was like
- “why tf would I ever wear that”
- nd then you got the outfit nd made him wear it
- like forced him
- u forced the clothes on him
- he fought through every second of it
- nd when u finally situated the skirt and buttons
- he realized it wasn't that bad
- u squealed nd complimented him all the way through it
- he got so shy despite being kinda mad
- “do u rlly think I look cute?”
- “omfg yes min ur adorable”
- he let u snap a few pics 
- he made u promise to never show them to a soul
Jeongin:
- hated hated hated HATED it
- he’s the one who would not like it at all
- no matter what
- u got it as a joke 
- he was not amused
- he laughed it off
- but u both knew he was never going to wear it
- and then one day
- during the summer specifically
- he got bored
- and then he walked out of the bathroom wearing it
- u were so happy and excited 
- but u cackled SO hard
- nd he got embarrassed nd he was going to get back in the bathroom nd take it off
- but u stopped him
- “let me look at u for a second”
- “no”
- “jeongin”
- “y/n”
- nd u looked at him a bit more
- u pulled out ur phone to take a picture
- he closed that bathroom door so quick
- u whined for him to come out
- no way in hell was he letting anyone but u see him in that outfit
- u opened the door nd he was just standing there, his arms crossed
- toasted bread 
- but with baby bread energy
- if that makes sense
- in conclusion
- he hated wearing it especially bc he found it itchy
- but he liked the reaction u gave him
- kinda
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago
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warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.
updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!
I'm sorry in advance.
I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.
I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.
We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.
It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.
Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.
She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.
I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.
I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.
Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.
I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.
Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.
I'm so sorry.
I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.
I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.
I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.
Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.
When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.
I had to remind them it's summertime lol
Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.
I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.
I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.
You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).
Also... uh.
I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.
My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.
Not saying you should do it.
But I did.
If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.
--
some other experiences sent to me:
anon #1
I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need
anon #2
I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.
I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.
A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.
My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.
Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.
anon #3
I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:
Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.
If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet
I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.
Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!
Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!
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utterlyinevitable · 4 years ago
Note
can do an ethan x mc request for Gimme those eyes, it's easy to forgive - hopeless halsey
this song is so underrated. thank you so much for requesting!!!
Hopeless
Word Count: 2.3k Warning: angst, few curse words, adult themes  Summary: This takes place around Chapter 1 in OHSY after Ethan comes back from the stupid Amazon. There’s mentions of MC x Raf and Ethan x Harper.
A/N: The end bits were supposed to be smut but everything I wrote was so damn cringe 😔 . Someone teach me how to write smut pls and thanks.
________________________________________
Ethan Ramsey was in the cafeteria speaking with Harper, the two attendings grabbing a hot meal for a late-night dinner. They spoke like two old friends, happily and without complications. 
Becca watched from her position at the condiment station as he intimately placed his hand on Harper’s lower back and offered to pay for her food. It was a small gesture, but to Becca it was everything. Becca would never have the privilege of these simple moments with him ever again. He made that as clear as a summer’s day during her first shift as a diagnostics fellow a couple mornings ago after his miraculous return from the Amazon by telling her “there is no us”.  
The distance. The complications; everything he rattled off as reasons to stop, meant nothing to her. Every time he pushes her away she keeps crawling back like a moth to a flame, never really learning her lesson all the same. Why can’t she stay away from him? 
How can he go about his life - doesn’t he feel anything anymore? 
To be just colleagues - strictly professional as he put it - how could anything between them be that simple ever again? They’ve seen each other naked. They’ve carried and soothed the burden of the others’ vulnerabilities. Ethan and Rebecca were never simply colleagues. From the moment Ethan Ramsey let himself sign her textbook that first day of intern year they were doomed to be something more. 
Her feet stuck to the floor and her eyes transfixed on Harper, Becca couldn’t understand whether she was jealous that she could have him in every way while Becca could never. Or if it was due to the unencumbered attention he could dote on her. Possibly it was a bit of both. 
During their time together, Ethan made it unambiguous to Becca that the last two years of the notable attendings’ friendship Harper was his boss and that meant they couldn’t continue their on-off relationship. It’s the same rationale he was using with Becca now, except she and he never actually were together just a few fleeting moments here and there. Aside from those little tidbits of information he never talked about his past with the surgeon. For all Becca knew, now that they were both heads of departments and on the same professional level, they could continue whatever it was they were previously doing. Ethan could easily fall back into the familiar convenience of being with Harper Emery. 
He makes staying apart look too easy. 
He’s still functioning. He can be in the same room as Becca without his skin crawling. He can continue on with his life as if their intimacy and sleepless nights together had never happened. He makes moving on and being simply colleagues look painlessly uncomplicated. 
“Bec, you there?” a muffled voice spoke into her ear. 
She was on the phone. In her gripping trance she didn’t realize they were still speaking. Becca came downstairs to grab a sandwich and catch a nap in the on-call room before her date with Rafael in two hours. That’s when she caught the attendings cozily waiting next to one another. 
Shaking her head to bring her back from her trance she shakily breathed, “Yeah, can I call you back in 5?”  
“Yea sure. Just wanted to let you know I can’t hang out tonight.”  
In under five minutes her heart seemed to break twice. “Oh, okay.”   
“I’m on call,” there was a trained reassurance in his voice that was meant to soothe her. It didn’t work, but she wouldn’t let him know that. Becca needed his distraction more than ever now, alas work got in the way. 
Work always gets in the way.  
“That’s okay, Raf. Talk later.”  
Being with Rafael Aveiro should have been easy. He was sweet and caring and knew just how to put a smile on her face. He had a supporting family and knew the secrets of this city that only long term locals would know. His embrace was warm and comforting, his kiss was a breath of fresh air. He was the type of boy she should be in love with. 
 Becca shoved her phone deep into her scrub pocket and removed herself from the sticky position. She scoured the facility floor for an empty room to call hers for the next few hours. If she couldn’t see Raf she might as well distract herself with more cases. 
In the abandoned on-call room she felt alone inside, so profoundly alone. She hadn’t felt this low since the day she learned He was leaving. If her current affair can’t comfort her at her every beck and call, what’s she supposed to do now? 
Laying on her back and staring up at the metal supports of the empty bunk above, Becca angrily bit into her cucumber sandwich. She replayed the entire cafeteria spectacle over and over again, dissecting every subtle movement she managed to capture.   
He’s known Harper forever. They have more in common… 
The look of Ethan’s content stature and the way his shoulders rounded as he stood with Harper eats away at her. Sadness moved straight to maddened annoyance. All Becca has wanted to do since she learned of his leaving is punch him. Yell at him. Hold him closer than physically possible and beg him not to leave her again. 
Why am I doing this to myself? 
She knows why and it hurts like hell. 
The truth is she can’t stop thinking about him. She can’t find a moment of peace in this whole damn hospital without thinking of him. Ethan is Edenbrook. And when she closes her eyes at night it’s his baby blues that haunt her - that same passionately ravenous stare the man had all those nights ago that made her feel like she was the only woman in the world who could satisfy him. 
This secret has been killing her. The secret she’s been keeping guarded under lock and key, a secret she can’t utter out loud. Her lips and tongue can’t comprehend the weight of those words. 
Becca sighed deeply into the abyss of the somber room. 
She hated who she had become in just two lonesome months. She wasn’t as confident anymore - everything she has ever known has been challenged and not in the flourishing way she preferred. He made her this way. Desperate for him and hopelessly in… infatuated. Everything was Ethan’s fault. If he wasn’t him then she wouldn’t be feeling this way. If he didn’t bring her into his secret case and take a keen interest in her person as her mentor, then she could have skated through residency as the bright eyed and hopeful girl she once was. 
She tightly closed her eyes and groaned as the forbidden words infiltrated her mind. 
I love him still.
No. Stop it. You can’t feel this way. It’s just goddamn infatuation.  
Logically her mind trailed down another path, trying so desperately to diagnose their situation. 
If this godforsaken feeling won’t quit there must be something here. I can’t be the only one to feel it. 
Right?  
This happened so quickly and died all too soon - is it all in my head? Did I make us up? 
Before she knew it the door to the on-call room banged shut behind her and she was on her way to his office. Was he still here? 
Of course he was. Ethan never went home these days but she didn’t need to know that. The moment he got back to his apartment - no matter how many times he scheduled a deep cleaner while he was away - every surface reminded him of Rebecca. His bed was missing the petite indent her body left behind, the left side now cold and firmly abandoned. His couch and bar cart called him back to all the conversations they had and every bit of sweet courage they indulged in. His kitchen held all the memories of cases they solved over takeout late into the endless nights. In his master bathroom the walk-in shower brought his mind back to the last place he encouraged her to fall apart in his apartment. Lastly and most bitterly, every window overlooking the restless city mocked him of the most alluring of views he vowed to never cherish again.  
Knock. 
The dark wooden door to Ethan’s office was locked but she noticed the faint dull light of his lamp under the crack in the door. 
He’s there. The thought shocked her slightly and she tried to backtrack. He’s probably asleep. 
Knock.
She faintly knocked one last time in blind courage, not really wanting to disturb him. She’s been on the receiving side of his tirades multiple times. Her eyes widened as her mind caught up with her body. This is a futile effort - what do I expect to get from this? What am I doing? 
Becca’s left foot pointed down the hall, encouraging her to flee before she caused any more strain on their already fragile relationship. 
Mid-turn her right ear caught the sound of shuffling and the lock clicked open. Ethan’s groggy form peering into the fluorescent hall and down at her. 
“Rookie?” 
It’d been months since she last heard that name. And something flared up deep inside her.
When his bright blue eyes met hers anything and everything she planned to say vanished. All Becca could do was forgive those innocent and befuddled orbs of his. She made the mistake of looking into his eyes - One look and she fell deeper into the endless depths of Ethan Ramsey. Without thinking she forcefully pushed him past the threshold and in one swift movement captured his agape lips between hers. She hoped sleep held onto him so he wouldn’t push her away. 
She was wrong. So wrong. 
He was wide awake. His eyes wide and lips hungry. 
Ethan’s left arm wrapped itself securely around her waist while his right reached past her to slam the door closed, dutifully locking it without letting her go for even a second. 
In their small sanctuary he was pulling her closer, his free hand now tangling itself in her hair. Becca’s impatient hands ran along his partially undone dress shirt, noticeably wrinkled from his nap on the couch. She then trailed them down to his chest to the hem, savoring the feeling of the taut muscles underneath, where she noted he wasn’t wearing a belt. Ethan’s hands followed suit and pushed her pristine white coat away. He was carefully caressing her forearm before leveraging one hand on her neck and the other securely on her waist, kneading the fabric from her skirt so that his fingers can dance along the small of her back uninhibited. 
He was kissing her back. And temporarily Becca felt hope. For a fraction of an hour she held onto the thought that he wanted them to be together too.  
Their hands and mouths were exploring one another in a craze. They were a drug to one another and neither could imagine the symptoms of withdrawal could be this strong. 
Ethan lifted her top and discarded it haphazardly, exposing her bralette - the nude and black lace complimented her skin in ways he never dreamed a piece of fabric could have such an effect. He was transfixed for a moment. Her effortless beauty was invariably captivating. Although he’s seen her like this before his astute mind never could quite capture her full essence. 
Does he still think he’s better off without me? Becca thought as she watched him ogle her. 
She moved closer to pepper sultry kisses along his neck. Her body was pressed flush against his, save for her groin which she purposefully kept a vengeful two centimetres away.  
Ethan’s eyes rolled back at her ministrations. With heavy breaths he spoke, “What are you doing to me, Becca?” 
Between kisses she muttered, “I can’t help it. You make me this way. I’m hopeless...” -ly in love with you. 
“But reliably so.”  
The truth is Ethan wanted her just as badly. However he knows full well she’d be better off without him. He’s selfish and rude - an unwelcoming presence to the outside world. Except for Becca - for Rebecca Lao he’d be anything she wanted. 
He took her by the chin moving her back up to meet his lonely lips. Right now he didn’t want to think about the past or what awaits them on the other side of the office door. Right now he’s going to let himself - let them - be happy. 
Ethan dragged her across the scratchy hospital carpet and over to the aged sofa he spent many solo nights on. Becca responded to his eagerness by straddling him and unbuttoning the rest of his shirt further, letting Ethan come into full view. The electricity that coursed through her veins when their skin touched was like nothing she had ever experienced with anyone else. It was erotic. It was vibrant. It was certainty. 
It has and will always be you. 
Things change overtime, whether encouraged to or not. No one knows that better than Ethan Ramsey, especially with the unprecedented presence Becca has had on his life. Maybe, just maybe if they gave it enough time they would fall back into pace. This brief moment has been the highlight of the last two months - a regretful reminder that he had thrown this all away. 
They’ve spent too much time apart. And tonight he’ll take her anyway that he can. Tonight it’ll be the two of them snuggled up on the couch of his office post-rapture. 
Ethan lay across the couch with Becca curled up next to him, the nude and vulnerable pair tried to regulate their breaths after ruining one another in the best possible way. Ethan pressed a lingering kiss to the clammy edge of her forehead, smiling to himself when he noticed the light brown baby hairs began to curl with their heat. He shifted to hold her just a bit tighter. Ethan never wanted to return back to their incompatible reality. 
And then there was a determined knock at the door. 
“Ethan? I know you’re in there,” Harper’s voice called. 
________________________________________
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sayedhusaini · 3 years ago
Text
Democrats and Media Do Not Want to Weaken Facebook, Just Commandeer Its Power to Censor
by Moderator
📷(Stock Catalog / Flickr)By Glenn Greenwald / SubstackMuch is revealed by who is bestowed hero status by the corporate media. This week's anointed avatar of stunning courage is Frances Haugen, a former Facebook product manager being widely hailed as a "whistleblower” for providing internal corporate documents to the Wall Street Journal relating to the various harms which Facebook and its other platforms (Instagram and WhatsApp) are allegedly causing.The social media giant hurts America and the world, this narrative maintains, by permitting misinformation to spread (presumably more so than cable outlets and mainstream newspapers do virtually every week); fostering body image neurosis in young girls through Instagram (presumably more so than fashion magazines, Hollywood and the music industry do with their glorification of young and perfectly-sculpted bodies); promoting polarizing political content in order to keep the citizenry enraged, balkanized and resentful and therefore more eager to stay engaged (presumably in contrast to corporate media outlets, which would never do such a thing); and, worst of all, by failing to sufficiently censor political content that contradicts liberal orthodoxies and diverges from decreed liberal Truth. On Tuesday, Haugen's star turn took her to Washington, where she spent the day testifying before the Senate about Facebook's dangerous refusal to censor even more content and ban even more users than they already do.There is no doubt, at least to me, that Facebook and Google are both grave menaces. Through consolidation, mergers and purchases of any potential competitors, their power far exceeds what is compatible with a healthy democracy. A bipartisan consensus has emerged on the House Antitrust Committee that these two corporate giants — along with Amazon and Apple — are all classic monopolies in violation of long-standing but rarely enforced antitrust laws. Their control over multiple huge platforms that they purchased enables them to punish and even destroy competitors, as we saw when Apple, Google and Amazon united to remove Parler from the internet forty-eight hours after leading Democrats demanded that action, right as Parler became the most-downloaded app in the country, or as Google suppresses Rumble videos in its dominant search feature as punishment for competing with Google's YouTube platform. Facebook and Twitter both suppressed reporting on the authentic documents about Joe Biden's business activities reported by The New York Post just weeks before the 2020 election. These social media giants also united to effectively remove the sitting elected President of the United States from the internet, prompting grave warnings from leaders across the democratic world about how anti-democratic their consolidated censorship power has become.But none of the swooning over this new Facebook heroine nor any of the other media assaults on Facebook have anything remotely to do with a concern over those genuine dangers. Congress has taken no steps to curb the influence of these Silicon Valley giants because Facebook and Google drown the establishment wings of both parties with enormous amounts of cash and pay well-connected lobbyists who are friends and former colleagues of key lawmakers to use their D.C. influence to block reform. With the exception of a few stalwarts, neither party's ruling wing really has any objection to this monopolistic power as long as it is exercised to advance their own interests.And that is Facebook's only real political problem: not that they are too powerful but that they are not using that power to censor enough content from the internet that offends the sensibilities and beliefs of Democratic Party leaders and their liberal followers, who now control the White House, the entire executive branch and both houses of Congress. Haugen herself, now guided by long-time Obama operative Bill Burton, has made explicitly clear that her grievance with her former employer is its refusal to censor more of what she regards as “hate, violence and misinformation.” In a 60 Minutes
interview on Sunday night, Haugen summarized her complaint about CEO Mark Zuckerberg this way: he “has allowed choices to be made where the side effects of those choices are that hateful and polarizing content gets more distribution and more reach." Haugen, gushed The New York Times’ censorship-desperate tech unit as she testified on Tuesday, is “calling for regulation of the technology and business model that amplifies hate and she’s not shy about comparing Facebook to tobacco.”Agitating for more online censorship has been a leading priority for the Democratic Party ever since they blamed social media platforms (along with WikiLeaks, Russia, Jill Stein, James Comey, The New York Times, and Bernie Bros) for the 2016 defeat of the rightful heir to the White House throne, Hillary Clinton. And this craving for censorship has been elevated into an even more urgent priority for their corporate media allies, due to the same belief that Facebook helped elect Trump but also because free speech on social media prevents them from maintaining a stranglehold on the flow of information by allowing ordinary, uncredentialed serfs to challenge, question and dispute their decrees or build a large audience that they cannot control. Destroying alternatives to their failing platforms is thus a means of self-preservation: realizing that they cannot convince audiences to trust their work or pay attention to it, they seek instead to create captive audiences by destroying or at least controlling any competitors to their pieties.As I have been reporting for more than a year, Democrats do not make any secret of their intent to co-opt Silicon Valley power to police political discourse and silence their enemies. Congressional Democrats have summoned the CEO's of Google, Facebook and Twitter four times in the last year to demand they censor more political speech. At the last Congressional inquisition in March, one Democrat after the next explicitly threatened the companies with legal and regulatory reprisals if they did not immediately start censoring more.A Pew survey from August shows that Democrats now overwhelmingly support internet censorship not only by tech giants but also by the government which their party now controls. In the name of "restricting misinformation,” more than 3/4 of Democrats want tech companies "to restrict false info online, even if it limits freedom of information,” and just under 2/3 of Democrats want the U.S. Government to control that flow of information over the internet:
The prevailing pro-censorship mindset of the Democratic Party is reflected not only by that definitive polling data but also by the increasingly brash and explicit statements of their leaders. At the end of 2020, Sen. Ed Markey (D-MA), newly elected after young leftist activists worked tirelessly on his behalf to fend off a primary challenge from the more centrist Rep. Joseph Kennedy III (D-MA), told Facebook's Zuckerberg exactly what the Democratic Party wanted. In sum, they demand more censorship:
This, and this alone, is the sole reason why there is so much adoration being constructed around the cult of this new disgruntled Facebook employee. What she provides, above all else, is a telegenic and seemingly informed “insider” face to tell Americans that Facebook is destroying their country and their world by allowing too much content to go uncensored, by permitting too many conversations among ordinary people that are, in the immortal worlds of the NYT's tech reporter Taylor Lorenz, “unfettered.”When Facebook, Google, Twitter and other Silicon Valley social media companies were created, they did not set out to become the nation's discourse police. Indeed, they affirmatively wanted not to do that. Their desire to avoid that role was due in part to the prevailing libertarian ideology of a free internet in that sub-culture. But it was also due to self-interest: the last thing social media companies wanted to be doing is looking for ways to remove and block people from using their product and, worse, inserting themselves into the middle of inflammatory political controversies. Corporations seek to avoid angering potential customers and users over political stances, not courting that anger.This censorship role was not one they so much sought as one that was foisted on them. It was not really until the 2016 election, when Democrats were obsessed with blaming social media giants (and pretty much everyone else except themselves) for their humiliating defeat, that pressure began escalating on these executives to start deleting content liberals deemed dangerous or false and banning their adversaries from using the platforms at all. As it always does, the censorship began by targeting widely disliked figures — Milo Yiannopoulos, Alex Jones and others deemed “dangerous” — so that few complained (and those who did could be vilified as sympathizers of the early offenders). Once entrenched, the censorship net then predictably and rapidly spread inward (as it invariably does) to encompass all sorts of anti-establishment dissidents on the right, the left, and everything in between. And no matter how much it widens, the complaints that it is not enough intensify. For those with the mentality of a censor, there can never be enough repression of dissent. And this plot to escalate censorship pressures found the perfect vessel in this stunningly brave and noble Facebook heretic who emerged this week from the shadows into the glaring spotlight. She became a cudgel that Washington politicians and their media allies could use to beat Facebook into submission to their censorship demands.In this dynamic we find what the tech and culture writer Curtis Yarvin calls "power leak.” This is a crucial concept for understanding how power is exercised in American oligarchy, and Yarvin's brilliant essay illuminates this reality as well as it can be described. Hyperbolically arguing that "Mark Zuckerberg has no power at all,” Yarvin points out that it may appear that the billionaire Facebook CEO is powerful because he can decide what will and will not be heard on the largest information distribution platform in the world. But in reality, Zuckerberg is no more powerful than the low-paid content moderators whom Facebook employs to hit the "delete” or "ban” button, since it is neither the Facebook moderators nor Zuckerberg himself who is truly making these decisions. They are just censoring as they are told, in obedience to rules handed down from on high. It is the corporate press and powerful Washington elites who are coercing Facebook and Google to censor in accordance with their wishes and ideology upon pain of punishment in the form of shame, stigma and even official legal and regulatory retaliation. Yarvin puts it this way:However, if Zuck is subject to some kind of oligarchic power, he is in exactly the same position as his own moderators. He exercises power, but it is not his power, because it is not his will. The power does not flow from him; it flows through him. This is why we can say honestly and seriously that he has no power. It is not his,
but someone else’s. . . .Zuck doesn’t want to do any of this. Nor do his users particularly want it. Rather, he is doing it because he is under pressure from the press. Duh. He cannot even admit that he is under duress—or his Vietcong guards might just snap, and shoot him like the Western running-dog capitalist he is….And what grants the press this terrifying power? The pure and beautiful power of the logos? What distinguishes a well-written poast, like this one, from an equally well-written Times op-ed? Nothing at all but prestige. In normal times, every sane CEO will comply unhesitatingly with the slightest whim of the legitimate press, just as they will comply unhesitatingly with a court order. That’s just how it is. To not call this power government is—just playing with words.As I have written before, this problem — whereby the government coerces private actors to censor for them — is not one that Yarvin was the first to recognize. The U.S. Supreme Court has held, since at least 1963, that the First Amendment's "free speech” clause is violated when state officials issue enough threats and other forms of pressure that essentially leave the private actor with no real choice but to censor in accordance with the demands of state officials. Whether we are legally at the point where that constitutional line has been crossed by the increasingly blunt bullying tactics of Democratic lawmakers and executive branch officials is a question likely to be resolved in the courts. But whatever else is true, this pressure is very real and stark and reveals that the real goal of Democrats is not to weaken Facebook but to capture its vast power for their own nefarious ends.There is another issue raised by this week's events that requires ample caution as well. The canonized Facebook whistleblower and her journalist supporters are claiming that what Facebook fears most is repeal or reform of Section 230, the legislative provision that provides immunity to social media companies for defamatory or other harmful material published by their users. That section means that if a Facebook user or YouTube host publishes legally actionable content, the social media companies themselves cannot be held liable. There may be ways to reform Section 230 that can reduce the incentive to impose censorship, such as denying that valuable protection to any platform that censors, instead making it available only to those who truly allow an unmoderated platform to thrive. But such a proposal has little support in Washington. What is far more likely is that Section 230 will be "modified” to impose greater content moderation obligations on all social media companies.Far from threatening Facebook and Google, such a legal change could be the greatest gift one can give them, which is why their executives are often seen calling on Congress to regulate the social media industry. Any legal scheme that requires every post and comment to be moderated would demand enormous resources — gigantic teams of paid experts and consultants to assess "misinformation” and "hate speech” and veritable armies of employees to carry out their decrees. Only the established giants such as Facebook and Google would be able to comply with such a regimen, while other competitors — including large but still-smaller ones such as Twitter — would drown in those requirements. And still-smaller challengers to the hegemony of Facebook and Google, such as Substack and Rumble, could never survive. In other words, any attempt by Congress to impose greater content moderation obligations — which is exactly what they are threatening — would destroy whatever possibility remains for competitors to arise and would, in particular, destroy any platforms seeking to protect free discourse. That would be the consequence by design, which is why one should be very wary of any attempt to pretend that Facebook and Google fear such legislative adjustments.There are real dangers posed by allowing companies such as Facebook and Google to amass the power they have now consolidated. But very little of the activism and
anger from the media and Washington toward these companies is designed to fracture or limit that power. It is designed, instead, to transfer that power to other authorities who can then wield it for their own interests. The only thing more alarming than Facebook and Google controlling and policing our political discourse is allowing elites from one of the political parties in Washington and their corporate media outlets to assume the role of overseer, as they are absolutely committed to doing. Far from being some noble whistleblower, Frances Haugen is just their latest tool to exploit for their scheme to use the power of social media giants to control political discourse in accordance with their own views and interests.
Correction, Oct. 5, 2021, 5:59 pm ET: This article was edited to reflect that just under 2/3 of Democrats favor U.S. Government censorship of the internet in the name of fighting misinformation, not just over.
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shiishki · 4 years ago
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okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)
oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny
honeypie - jawny
pretty young thing - michael jackson
mirrors - justin timberlake
sunflower - red orange county
paradise - rude-a
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
a therapist.
ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...
*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english
"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book
4: What do you think about most?
the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
Ok
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer
7: What’s your strangest talent?
not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
girls are pretty. boys are pretty
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
uhh i think last month?
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
yep, beloved legos as a lil child
13: What’s your religion?
i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind it.
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes
17: What was the last lie you told?
i know what i want
18: Do you believe in karma?
yes, the rule of three specifically
19: What does your URL mean?
i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
nope
23: How do you vent your anger?
i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
they be chilling.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
i dunno tbh
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
which one is less homophobic?
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
to make it easier for people down the line
36: Define Art.
make thing, thing goes woo
37: Do you believe in luck?
yis
38: What’s the weather like right now?
it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze
39: What time is it?
12.59 am
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.
41: What was the last book you read?
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.
43: Do you have any nicknames?
many variations of my name, aka. Luce
44: What was the last film you saw?
i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
once, years ago
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
hmmm horizon zero dawn i think
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
proud pansexual ^^
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh
50: Do you believe in magic?
yis
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.
52: What is your astrological sign?
cancer ♋
53: Do you save money or spend it?
i attempt saving. attempt
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc
55: Love or lust?
luv
56: In a relationship?
nope, i buy my own cookies
57: How many relationships have you had?
1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
nu ><
59: Where were you yesterday?
on the fields walking my doggo
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
yis, thicc warm socks
62: What’s your favourite animal?
cats
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
cuddles and food.
64: Where is your best friend?
bold of you to assume i have a best friend.
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector
66: What is your heritage?
I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
sleeping, trying to sleep.
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
Pinkton. or Satan.
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
trust.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
history maker - dean fujioka :]
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
3332
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
communication, trust, some more communication.
77: How can I win your heart?
let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
demon boi
82: What is your favourite word?
socks.
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
blinding lights - the weeknd
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.
87: What is your current desktop picture?
like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
this. this is the question.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO
uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
not any that i know of o.o
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
i think i may have but i honestly don't remember
98: Ever been on a plane?
nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
yeet.
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