#yea yea fork in the kitchen etc

[deadliestpieceontheboard]

kevin day kin who enjoys validation. yeah, that tracks.

well anon i really wanted to give this a witty/funny answer because WELL DAMN YOU but i am, indeed, a kevin day kin so I'm neither witty nor funny

[yandere-sins]

"König is just too afraid that something might happen", I can see him overthinking A LOT about his platonic darling.

What König thinks will happen if darling cooks for herself:

What König thinks will happen if he leaves his darling with a chromosome XY for 0.1 second:

König cooking for darling:

Ghost seeing König clinging on to darling 25/8;

König's overthinking and clinginess leads to isolation, and I can honestly see König being very protective especially when darling is around other men. König sees you as pretty and precious despite your status, and it's proven right because a certain British lieutenant is attracted to you :(

Hence, I can imagine darling being unused to physical touch with other men because of König. Even if darling's the physical touch type, everything changed since König is platonically obsessed with his darling. König hoards your affection, no matter what form it is (physical touch, quality time, etc) so darling becomes unused to romantic advances from other people.

OH YEA remember the Ghost getting a few hours with his darling? You mentioned that Ghost plays the long game so do you think that Ghost is patiently "training" darling to get used to HIS physical affection? Darling is unused to physical touch from others due to König so I can see Ghost using baby steps approach like getting his darling used to headpats and hand holding, or copies König's physical touch like headpats and hugs because darling is familiar with it.

Have a nice day/night!

Gosh I love these memes, you're so right, especially with the König cooking for darling and it's just the most basic thing in way too much quantity because he's so worried they won't eat enough unless there is extra extra much of it, lol!

To be honest, Ghost is a bit of both, direct and indirect. He gets the darling used to his touch/presence until they start to long for it.

There are instances where he simply pulls them to the side by the waist when they almost run into another soldier, but drops his touch right away, leaving only a tingle and a confused darling behind. Or he places his hand over sharp edges for them so they don't hit their head on the cabinet above the kitchen counter or the table. He does that proactive boyfriend thing where he says it's no big deal when they thank him, but the darling grows increasingly confused since König would prevent them from even getting into this situation, while Ghost lets them figure it out and is supportive. He'd give them a hand into the helicopter while König would simply lift them up and not even attempt to let them climb in on their own. It's like you said before, the minimal amount of independence that Ghost gives them back.

And then there are the times when he intentionally pushes their buttons. Correcting their stance at the shooting range doesn't really need him to move his whole body against them—he does it anyway. Complete with whispering in their ear and praising them for a job well done when they hit the target exactly where they are supposed to. Or when he pulls them into a container to hide, locking them between his arms and telling them to be quiet while König stalks around outside, looking for them. He doesn't need to brush his body against theirs, the heat and friction between them palpable. It's a fucking container they are in; they could be five feet apart, no problem. Ghost is not subtle, however, lol. 

And then, of course, all the in-between (sometimes even in front of König just for the fun of it): head pats while they meet in the hallway, a quick pat before he just continues walking, or gripping their hand when they are about to eat something with their fork and directing it into his own mouth instead—thanking them for the meal before leaving. Correcting how they put on their equipment and picking up their luggage when they struggle with it. He's trying to be really nonchalant about it, but the effect it actually has is that the darling starts to notice him much quicker. Ghost can be a quiet shadow, but they'll be the only one to be able to pick him out from a hundred other soldiers without looking. His presence just gets ingrained in their mind, and before long, they will also start to be more defiant against König's treatment of them, knowing now what alternatives they have. 

Darling wouldn't even know why they let their gaze wander until they found Ghost across the hall. It surprises them both when Ghost isn't even looking at them, yet they search for him out of their own free will. 

And snap goes the trap. 

[icedmetaltea]

When it comes to cleaning cups and plates I’m a dishappointment

You can never be worse than I was

Heaps of moldy plates scattered and stacked on the every available surface, hundreds if not thousands of gnats, finding some stuff that'd been left under mildew-coated rags for over a year... (undiagnosed adhd yaaaaayyy)

You will fuck up. You will have horrible days, weeks, months- and that's ok.

Honestly the only thing I've found that continuously works for me these past few months is to just get rid of a majority of my stuff so I only have one plate, one bowl, 3 forks, 3 spoons, etc (I mean it was easy since my sibling took just about everything when they moved but yea)

Less stuff = less stuff to forget about and/or overwhelm you and stack up till it all feels hopeless

Clean stuff immediately after cooking and eating, or even use paper plates and plastic utensils till you get to the point where you have enough energy to do so. If you let even a couple dishes build up it WILL begin to feel overwhelming soon.

Get a bigass waterbottle if u don't have one to get rid of the need to bring lots of cups into your room

Set a daily routine to clean and ALWAYS do it. It doesn't have to be a wholeass kitchen deep clean just like wiping off the counter. Something easy you can stick to- chances are you'll end up doing more and if not you'll have done your one thing and feel better as a result

Talk to someone about it. Be honest about how it makes you feel. Chances are if you take the time to figure out why it's such an issue it'll become a lot easier to accommodate yourself.

*hugs*

[chrysanthemumpink]

My therapist wants me to get tested for ADHD and honestly, i don’t know how to feel. I didn’t tell her but this isn’t the first time the prospect of adhd has beem mentioned. It was talked about when I was younger. I didn’t learn to write letters till I was 8 years old. I could read just fine. I read letters, words, and “chapter books.” And I read them quite well. But I couldn’t write anything until I used special pencils and my mom held my hand and traced the letters. I learned to write by muscle memory. Letters, to me, became the weight of my mother’s hand and a conditioned response to the cold kitchen table and the smell of rice for dinner. Writing was a choreograophy flavored with the spoons my mom let me lick.

“Concentrate. Go slow. There you go!” my mom would say in her mom voice. She was proudest of lowercase “a”

I had a real adhd consultation in the 4th grade. But the test for adhd was expensive. It was too expensive for a 4th grader to comprehend but expensive enough for that 4th grader to see the disdain and desperation in their parents’ faces. I remember the exchange of papers, the scribbling of numbers, and my mom’s white people voice. It’s the voice she has when she’s pretending to buy something when in reality, she’s going to put the thing back, be content with the free samples, and roll her eyes as she walks away, never to return. “I wish i would....” we’d say.

“If it becomes a problem you’re gonna get tested,” they said.

They said it like it was a sentencing, a curse. But by “problem” they meant bad grades. And my grades were never bad. I actually took an IQ test in that same building. it was cheaper than an adhd test and they wanted to make sure there wern’t any “problems.” I dont remember the score. I dont like numbers and I didn’t care anyway. But I joined a class for gifted children so I never became “a problem.”

Yea, I had “behavior issues.” I was mean to other kids, and I still couldn’t write very well. But once you score enough AR points, teachers don’t care if you can write, if your shoe strings bother you, or if you break pencils when nervous. But adhd had always been in the back of my mind. How could I not? I rock back and forth all the time. “Stop,” my mom would say, “or you’ll get Altizmer’s like your grandma.” Grandma rocks back and forth all the time; I look just like her.

Where am i going with this? How am i supposed to feel? I was so happy when i got diagnosed with bipolar ii. That was supposed to be the end. I could finally understand and fix what was wrong with me. And i know that something is wrong. But it turns out that was only part of the dumpster fire that is my own brain. But what now? Is the list of mental defects just gonna keep growing? Am I just gonna keep discovering what is wrong with me? I had a meeting with my thesis advisor yesterday. I mispelled a lot of words. Again. And MLA 8 ia confusing. Will I ever finish my PhD?

I draw circles when people talk to me, it helps me remember what they are saying. If the information is really important, I play tic tac toe. I need music to work, preferably video game/movie music, because I can reimagine the story in my head. The daydreams take up the background noise in my head. I wake up at 4am because I can’t just wakeup, get dressed, and go to work at 10. I need time to transition between wake up, brush teeth, eat breakfast, drink coffee, get dressed, etc.

I am also very messy and I lose things, so my solution is to own nothing. I own one plate and one bowl. There’s one pot, one skillet, one fork, and one spoon. I have two baking sheets. 8 dishes means I will never get overwhelmed with dirty dishes. I’ve also embraced minimalism with my clothing. Few clothing means I don’t get overwhelmed by laundry. A small purse means that I don’t get overwhelmed by what fits inside. In bed, I don’t sleep underneath the covers. I sleep above the covers and shield myself with a light blanket instead. Making my bed stresses me out so my solution is to never sleep in it, i just lie on top of it with my blanket. I don’t even disturb the decrative pillows. I don’t use a pillow at all. It gets cold sometimes but I can’t buy a new blanket. I will get overwhelmed. Im very messy and I dont trust myself with things.

My therapist says its anxiety. When my mania appeared I was bipolar ii, and now I am, perhaps, adhd. I just don’t know what to think anymore? Why am I even thinking at all? My brain doesn’t even work!

[kpopboops]

Baby- Astro

Genre: fluff, D. Store is a cafe, so many uwus 

Word Count: 2245

Based on the Baby MV which was so cute I’m crying, also got inspiration from this post: https://kpopboops.tumblr.com/post/183789192747/astro-dstore-head-canon by @nojam-secrettime

A/N: Before this starts, I’m just going to go over each member’s flavors (like each person’s soda thing in the mv lol) and their job at the cafe. 

MJ: orange, cashier, helps out with barista-ing 

Jinjin: green apple, manager, helps out anyone that needs it, well-rounded

Eunwoo: blueberry, cook

Moonbin: strawberry, barista

Rocky: grape, bus boy/ baker

Sanha: lemon, waiter

LOL the fic actually starts now--------------- <3

Jieun walked into D. Store, the bell tinkling cheerfully as she pulled the door open. “Hi there, Jieun. What will you have today?” the cashier greeted from behind the register. She pondered for a moment before declaring “Grape soda with a strawberry cake slice.”

D. Store was a cafe that opened up in June 2017. The D stood for dream and the design of the cafe clearly emitted that vibe. The neon sign that lit up in rainbow colors always flickered a few times before turning on which was part of the charm. The rainbow “Open” sign was a welcoming addition and the entire store was surrounded by greenery and flowers. The polished wooden door added a nice touch and added to the entire look.

On the inside, benches accented with a sky blue coat of paint and a wire backing lined the walls. A record player sat on a metal stool, playing songs from old vinyls. The white counter and light colors were complimented by the flower vases and the vines that hung on the wooden walls. Two clear refrigerators allowed customers to take their own drinks and a white display case next to the counter showcased the various sweets that D. Store offered. The cafe gave off a secret fairy garden vibe and Jieun had been a regular customer from the start.

A gasp brought her back to reality. She looked up to find Jinwoo at the counter. Even though all 6 boys who worked here opened the store together, Jinwoo was still dubbed the boss. “I’m so hurt,” he said, putting his hand on his chest dramatically. “How could you not pick my flavor when it’s obviously the best.”

Jieun sighed. “Hello to you too, Jinwoo.” Another gasp.

“Oh no, you’re not even calling me what you usually do!” he gasped, raising his voice. “Shut up, Jinjin,” MJ stated as he walked past, giving him a smack on the back with a promotional poster for their new strawberry banana crepe. Jinwoo huffed as he gave Jieun a number. “Go sit down, your order will be ready in a minute,” he muttered. Jieun plopped down into a seat that was tucked into the corner of the separation, the closest one to the counter.

Eunwoo gave Jieun a small smile as he walked up with the strawberry cake slice and grape soda. “Hey,” he greeted before sliding into the bench across from Jieun. The rainy Wednesday weather didn’t attract many customers with the exception of Jieun. The cafe was rather empty, or to be more specific, Jieun was the only customer that day.

Jieun squinted at him. “Hi sorry I don’t have my contacts today. Who are you?” she rambled. Eunwoo chuckled as he slipped her a pair of spare glasses she left at the cafe. Her frequent visits led to the stockpile of products in case she forgot something. Jieun put on the glasses. “Oh hi Eunwoo,” she blinked. “Eat your cake, the whipped cream is melting,” he replied blankly.

The tinkling sound from the bell made everyone turn towards the door. “You’re back,” Rocky stated, coming out from the kitchen, as a dripping wet Sanha and Moonbin walked through the door. “I was just trying to buy some sunflower seeds but then the weather was like ‘YOU THOUGHT WRONG, CANCELLED, GO HOME IN THE RAIN THOT’ so we’re here now I guess,” Sanha grumbled. Moonbin laughed as he pulled out the various plants and seeds they had bought. As he set a pot of hydrangeas onto the front windowsill, he sighed audibly.

“Jieun’s here and you’re not even going to greet her?” MJ asked as he came back from putting up promotional posters. Sanha did a sharp turn but as he turned, his shoelace got caught in the doorway and he ended up sprawled on the floor. Rocky laughed loudly as he wiped his hands on his apron, hanging it up afterwards. The cuffs of his white shirt were rolled up and slightly wet from washing the dishes in the back. Jieun glanced at his sleeve.

“Shouldn’t you get change out of that? You’ll catch a cold,” she said, concerned.

Rocky blinked out of surprise before realizing that she was talking about his wet sleeves. “I don’t think wet sleeves are going to give me a cold but ok,” he teased as he slipped into the staff room. He came back out rather quickly in a few minutes, dressed in a simple black tee. The rest of his attire was the usual D. Store uniform. Black slacks or jeans and dress shoes were a must but no one listened to Jinwoo and everyone always showed up in sneakers. Rocky’s distressed black jeans were paired with a rather new pair of Nike Air Force 1s. Jieun glanced down at his shoes.

“They’re new,” Moonbin announced, drying his hair with a towel from the staff room. “I bought them for him a few days ago.”

“What was the occasion?” Jieun questioned, finally picking up her fork and taking a bite of the strawberry cake. Moonbin smirked slightly before he ran over to Rocky and threw his arm over his shoulder. “How could you ask that?! It was the first day that we ever met,” he exclaimed. Rocky blinked in confusion before escaping his grasp. He grimaced. “Sorry, I don’t recall meeting someone like you on that particular day. Moonbin gasped before clinging onto the nearest person, which just happened to be Jinjin.

“DID YOU HEAR THAT JINJIN? ROCKY DOESN’T REMEMBER MEETING HIS BESTEST FRIEND!” Moonbin groaned. Jinwoo mirrored him. “NO, HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT!”

Jieun sipped her grape soda, glancing at Eunwoo who was behind the counter, drying mugs. She caught his eye and he gave a slight shake of his head, showing his disapproval. Jieun smiled, taking another bite of her cake which was halfway done. Suddenly, Sanha slipped into the seat beside her, thrusting a napkin into her face. “You have cream on your nose,” he stated matter-of-factly. MJ silently crept behind Jieun as Sanha got the cream off. Just as she was about to pick up her soda, MJ screamed.

“GOT YOUR NOSE,” he shouted, pinching Jieun’s nose. Jieun jumped in her seat as Eunwoo came out from behind the counter, smacking MJ’s head with the cake menu. “Ouch,” MJ muttered, rubbing his head. He moved over to the other side of the bench to make space for Eunwoo. Since Jieun was an interior design major and a physics/chemistry minor, she always brought her sketchbook around. She was always in D. Store, nearly everyday, so the 100th time that she walked in was the time that they all decided to buy her an actual sketchbook. Jieun carried her sketchbook from Daiso for $1.50 into the cafe everyday until she got her actual sketchbook, a Strathmore 300 pg one.

“So Jieun, since Mother’s Day is coming up, I wanted to offer a special cake and I’ve been thinking about flavors and stuff. Can you draw up a cake and see if we can make it?” Eunwoo asked. “Yea sure. Since it’s supposed to be special, we can probably do 2-3 layers and for Mother’s Day, we can write that in frosting. We can probably use fondant to make some roses and daisies and stuff,” she stated, flipping to a new page on her sketchbook. Within a few minutes, she had a rough draft of the cake done and Moonbin, Jinwoo, and Rocky slid into the bench across from her to look at it. “Does this look good?” Jieun asked, turning the sketchbook around so that the boys could see the product. “Ooooooh,” they chorused. “Now we have to try and make it,” Eunwoo announced. “Can we make it lemon flavoured?” Sanha whined. “Only if there can be strawberries too!” Moonbin exclaimed, looking over at Eunwoo.

“Why are you looking at me? I’m not the baker, Rocky is,” Eunwoo grumbled. Sanha and Moonbin switched their puppy dog eyes to Rocky who threw his hands up. “Fine, I’ll do it,” Rocky said, exasperated. Jinwoo glanced over at Jieun, who sighed and banged her head on the table.

The next few days were spent in the cafe once Jieun finished school. They worked on the design, flavors, batter, etc. Rocky collapsed onto the flour sacks in the corner of the kitchen. “Finally, it’s done,” he groaned, proceeding to scream into the nearby bowl of whipped cream. The two-tiered cake featured lemon zest and extract mixed into the batter with strawberry slices in the whipped cream between the layers that each tier had. The top of the cake featured sliced strawberries organized into roses alongside fondant daisies. Rocky had managed to write Happy Mother’s Day in lemon jelly across the top. The frosted outside on the lower tier was a cherry blossom pink and the cake looked like something from an actual bakery.

In the process of making the cake, Eunwoo had decided to create a special French toast in honor of Mother’s Day. After they had made the cake sketch, Eunwoo had sent Jieun a text with lots of puppy dog eye and heart emojis, begging her to design a french toast plate. It was his usual French toast, sprinkled with powdered sugar and cut into triangles. However, instead of the usual dollop of sea salt creme and scoop of ice cream, there were various fruits and whipped cream with a side of chocolate syrup and your choice of 2 ice cream scoops. There was also lemonade and mocha on the side.

Mother’s Day came around and as Jieun walked into D. Store for her usual morning coffee, she blinked in shock at the amount of customers. It was flooded with mother-child pairings, all of which were trying to place an order for the cake or the french toast. Luckily, they had done lots of the preparation beforehand. Since the orders for cake were flooded along with the french toast, Jinwoo abandoned his usual overseeing mode to help Rocky with the cake as MJ abandoned his coffee post to help out with the french toast. Sanha grimaced as he ran in and out of the kitchen, placing plates of french toast onto the wooden tables.

As he stepped on his shoelace which had come undone yet again, the plate of french toast went flying. It would have crashed to the ground had Eric not caught it. He leaned back in his chair, handing it to a flustered Sanha. “Oh now the plating is ruined,” Eric sighed. “I’ll pay for it.”

Moonbin turned around from his coffee making station. “Eric Nam? I haven’t seen you for a while,” he said before walking to Jieun and handing her a compostable, eco-friendly cup full of her usual coffee. “Thanks,” she smiled before weaving her way out of the crowd of people.

“We’ll have to talk later about your new single, Runaway. I need to get these orders in first though,” Moonbin grinned. “I’ll help out,” Eric announced, rolling up the sleeves of his white sweater. “You sure? Wouldn’t want you getting that sweater dirty,” he said. Eric smirked. “I think that you’re forgetting that I used to cook lunch for all of you when you were freshmen in high school,” he laughed before throwing on an apron. “Whatever you say,” Moonbin grumbled, laughing out loud just moments after.

Jieun walked back to the cafe in the spring sunlight after she had finished her classes, planning to finish the rest of her work at D. Store like she usually did. She skipped into the cafe before hearing a “Sorry we’re closed.” Eunwoo looked up from where he was slumped on the bench. “Oh it’s you Jieun,” he sighed before collapsing completely on the bench. “Rough day huh?” she questioned before sliding into the seat across of him. The rest of the boys stumbled out from the back before each falling into a bench. Jinwoo crossed his arms, leaning on them from behind the counter. “Hey at least we made a ton of profit. That means all of you get bonuses.”

“WAIT REALLY?” Sanha screamed, bolting upright and managing to hit his elbow on the table in the process. “Yep. I’ll include them in your paycheck,” Jinwoo grinned. Rocky came out of the kitchen, balancing 3 plates of the huge french toast dish and 7 slices of cake on his arm. “Here,” he said, sliding a piece of cake and a plate of french toast in front of Jieun. “Share it with Eunwoo. “I don’t want it,” Eunwoo groaned, waving his white handkerchief in the air like a flag. “I’m so sick of that dish after testing 34 different versions of it. I don’t think I’ll be eating French toast anytime soon.”

Rocky chuckled a little before sitting down beside Jieun and sliding the next table over. “I don’t think so buddy,” MJ announced, sliding onto the chair in front of her. Everyone gathered around the table, fighting for a spot near a person they liked. As Rocky set down the plates of food, a disheveled Eric came out from the back, sidling next to the closest person but failing to do so and instead falling onto the floor. Everyone laughed as he stumbled to a nearby chair. The sun set slowly outside D. Store. Time was passing but most of all, he warm atmosphere convinced Jieun that she would never find better friends anywhere else.

A/N: I don’t like the ending of this but I have no idea how to end it so lol. Below are drawings of the Mother’s Day special dishes that I feel like they would make. I drew it in class so it might be a lil messy. The graphite from my other drawing also kind of transferred onto it ;-; anyways. Hope you guys are in soft boo hours after that. Roses on cake by @10hour11minute

[luckyliesmith]

ok so i saw that post that was like “loki: part time snake” and i let that idea run a little wild. Since IW can go fuck itself, i propose an au where instead of all that bullshit Thor and Co end up at the doorstep of Midgard without a plan to explain Loki to everyone (no Thor your word and vouching for him won’t be enough this time) and while Thor has some other descent ideas, they squabble over several with Loki suggesting more and more chaotic outlandish things until their time is entirely fucking up. So feeling pressed and in a pinch Loki turns to one of his very first illusions and transforms into a snake. And that’s how Loki ends up living almost full time as Thor’s pet snake on Midgard. 

Peter, being eager, and innocent and curious (and a lil in awe of thor and looking for a good in to talk with him bc !!) asks what his pet snakes name is. Thor, having always relied on Loki to be the one to come up with excuses (lies) in a pinch, blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. Loki’s undercover snake name is now Mr Scales. 

Bruce knows because he was there when Loki decided to up and snakeify himself. So it’s not too much of a shock when Loki slithers into one of his desk drawers to prank him. He might be a snake but hes still the god of mischief. Natasha may or may not overhear Bruce taking out residual resentment for Loki by softly admonishing the poor creature. “Don’t scare me like that. It won’t get me to Hulk out. I have more control than that.” She leaves just in time to miss the transformation of Mr Scales zapping back into Loki’s regular body, naked and perched on the edge of Bruce’s desk. That in itself is almost enough to get him to hulk out. 

Bruce drags his hand down his face in frustrating trying to not get distracted by how long Loki’s very naked legs are. “What have I done to deserve this torture.” Loki saunters back out of Bruce’s lab on foot, wearing nothing but a smile and may or may not whisper bye, daddy before he transfigures back into Mr Scales and slithers away. 

Bruce thinks about taking up day drinking with Tony to erase the fact that his life has come to this, avoiding a pet snake to keep it from flirting with him. He’s also certain that if Thor finds out he may end up electrocuted.

Loki doesn’t adapt well to some parts of pesky snake biology. He can’t hear for shit and sleeping with his eyes open is testing his patience.

He likes having a prehensile tail. It’s particularly useful for hanging from ponytails (wanda, natasha, maria) while simultaneously tormenting Thor about not having a ponytail anymore. Perching creepily on shoulders is great and now Thor feels even more like a fully stoked fireplace because endothermic vs exothermic. 

He also gets away with unlimited nips and bites on whoever he pleases. The downside is that biting people as a snake is less satisfying.

Because hes never had to keep up with a consistent shift for this long, every time he changes back into Mr Scales form, his scale pattern is a little bit different. Some people (Natasha, Clint, Bucky and Peter) notice. 

Natasha has been keeping tabs on Mr Scales (and has felt more than a little silly following a snake around) but it pays off when she not only hears Bruce, but also Thor calling Mr Scales ‘Loki’. She takes a page out of Loki’s handbook, and uses this information to start a betting pool with Clint Sam and Bucky. She keeps a closer watchful eye on ‘Mr Scales’ from here on out.

Natasha is the one who slyly suggests Thor get Mr Scales a tank when they’re at the compound because it would be normal to have a pet snake in an enclosure and not let it slither around willy nilly, right? This is how Loki ends up on the wrong side of a locked glass cage while a very self satisfied Natasha smirks at him for the second time in his life. He starts to have regrets. 

Peter thinks hes hallucinating when he sneaks into the pitch black kitchen one night to steal a snack and walks straight into Thor having a full on conversation with someone. The image of a very shook Thor holding Mr Scales by his neck is forever seared into Peters memory and ends his pattern of staying over so late to play video games till 3am no matter how badass the TV and tech is.

Peter definitely knows now because Thor randomly takes Mr Scales everywhere. Everywhere. He suspiciously explains midgardian things to Mr Scales, almost like a brother taking his sibling sightseeing. Mr Scales always seems to be there when Thor goes out with friends, out to dinner, out for drinks, to the movies, etc. 

Someone (Steve or Tony) finally asks Thor why he brings his pet snake everywhere. After a few painful moments of letting Thor struggle to come up with anything resembling an answer (again because that was always Loki’s forte and his tongue is more than a bit incapacitated at the moment) Peter steps in "OH MR SCALES IS THOR'S EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL! Ya know he did lose his whole family and hes been feeling a little down and Mr Scales," pausing for dramatic effect, shooting a little glare up at Thor knowingly "reminds him of his brother." Bruce chokes in the background. Everyone has a chuckle because yea, RIP Loki but the dude was totally a snake. 

Natasha whispers something in Clint’s ear that no one can hear as he rolls his eyes deeply and forks over a $50.

What I’m saying is that basically the only people who don’t know "Mr Scales" is Loki are Tony and Steve.

And because Steve doesn’t know, he would try and comfort Thor (bc if Thor is sad and depressed Steve has one (1) job) by way of warming up to Mr Scales and offer to feed him because at first he had Not Really Cared For The Snake so offering to feed Mr Scales is A Big Thing from him, so he slips on in to Thor’s compound room like "Hey since you’re here with him, can I feed Mr Scales? I know today is his feeding day because its Thursday and you said he eats his food on Thursday." and Thor looks on in horror at Steve producing the adequate Snake Food, because hes fresh out of excuses. 

Nat pops up from the ether in which she ninja-travels like "Oh boy, I have to watch this." and Loki as a snake is like "Well fuck I guess I have to eat it or the jig is up”  and that’s how Loki ends up eating a whole ass rat.

[lifeintheworldtocome]

not watching but i saw my dash freaking out so yeah, curious thi ngs

LOL yea the conventionally attractive white man is attractive fork found in the kitchen etc etc

[trugreyloki]

Ticket To Life ch. 1

Fanfic by GreyLoki

~Day 0~

'I see everything he sees. Hear what he hears. Feel what he feels. The pain of being like this almost unbearable. He never listens to me... Can he even hear me? I guess... he neglected me for so long my screams of common sense can't reach him... I'm useless aren't I? I don't care anymore. If he won't listen to me I won't guide him anymore. Just let me out! Out of this prison in his mind! It's painful to sit and watch. I want to act, move, dance. Something! It's torture watching him play "Dodj or Dahr" so many times and feeling the pain. Although I've noticed his resistance to pain increasing, I don't want to keep feeling it. When will my time come?

'Gumball Watterson... How is it that in a family with names like Anais, Nicole, Richard, and Darwin they name their son Gumball? Even if Richard has the IQ lower than a bag of corn, Nicole should have put her foot down at Gumball's birth, but hey she's somewhat of an enabler so... It's just that all of his pet fish got normal names, all of them Darwin of course. Goodness. I'd blame his name for his antics, but I know better. Even if his name was Steven he'd still be a lovable, destructive goof.

'Yea... I said lovable. I can't bring myself to hate the kid, even if he doesn't listen to me. He has this charisma that he can get so many people to like him. Tobias, the rainbow kid, is rich and seems somewhat popular and he still hangs with Gumball from time to time. Even Banana Joe, why does Elmore have so many weird names, is kinda the third to Gumball and Darwin's duo. Gumball's bullies can't even hate him. Tina sees him as a friend, typical Tsundere, and Jamie is tolerant of him. Carie, Teri, Penny, Masami; so many names ending with the e sound; Bobert, etc... The only ones I can say who definitively hate him are Ms./Mr. Simian; can't tell half the time; and Penny's dad.

'Is he annoying? Yes. Does he cause thousands of dollars in damages? Yes. Is he stupid? Yes and no; if put more effort into thinking before he acted there'd be less stupid craziness. But can you hate him? Not likely. If it wasn't for the bad things happening around him I would say he was a Gary Sue of his own life. Some important stuff just work for him. He still needs a conscience, but I'm sick of being it. I want a life of my own. Some day... I might get my wish.'

~Day 1~

Be-Beep be-beep be-beep...

The alarm has been going off for half an hour now. I don't mind the darkness I see, but I really don't want to look at the inside of Gumball's eyelids.

'Wake up lazy bones! Today's Sunday, you got one more day of doing jack,' I yell in the back of my mind. I know this is futile, but hey, it keeps me sane... Not really. How can I be sane when I'm just apart of this guy's mind. Being an ignored conscience is brutal. No control, no choice, and no one to "talk" to is heck.

'SOMEONE WAKE THIS BLUE CAT UP!' I yell once more.

Be-beep be-beep be-beep

"Hey. Gumball? It's time to get up," said a voice of innocence.

'Thank yooouu, Darwin!'

Darwin Raglin Caspian Ahab Poseidon Nicodemus Watterson III, the third orange pet fish of the family. Also, the only one to grow legs and develop, mentally, past 8 years old.

"Come on Gumball. It's 10:30. Get up."

Slowly Gumball yawns, sits up and begins to open his eyes.

'Finally! I can se... Oh my goodness the sun burns the eyes!'

Gumball closes his tight and rubs the sleep from them. "Mornin' Dude," he says as begins to get outta bed, "So what's planned for today?"

"Well," Darwin pulls a piece of paper from behind his back.

'Where did he keep that?'

"First, we sit and watch cartoons for 2 hours, then video games for 2 more..."

'Wow, sounds like an exciting and mentally stimulating day so far.'

"Then we go to the park to hang with Tobias, Banana Joe, and Bobert," Darwin finished with that innocent smile, like nothing is wrong in the world. By this time Gumball had gotten dressed in his signature outfit: light blue denim pants, white-ish tan long sleeved sweater and no shoes.

'What no shower? *inner sigh* So that makes it the 4th day without washing?' sarcastically 'So nice...'

"Well buddy, lets get started," I can feel Gumball smile lightly as he said this.

Darwin puts on his own signature clothes, socks and green shoes only.

'Nother day in da nude, Darwin?’

As they descend down the stairs Gumball smells something delicious coming from the kitchen. Nicole; Gumball's mother, who he resembles (only taller than him); is cooking a small breakfast for the family. Anais and Richard are already sitting at the table waiting. Both of them pink bunnies. Richard is big; in height and weight, reads at the 2nd grade level, and has a child-like innocence like Darwin. How did he get Nicole? Anais, I call her Ms. Einstein, the baby of the family at 6. She's about half Gumball's height and five times smarter. She's basically smart enough to have graduated from a university, but for some reason she goes to Elmore Junior high with Gumball and Darwin. I think it's the stigma of being a Watterson.

"Morning boys!" Richard greeting them with his warm, somewhat dimwitted smile as they enter the dining room.

"Morning Mr. Dad!" Darwin replying the same way.

"Good Morning," Replied Gumball with a yawn. "Morning Anais."

The small bunny in her slightly perky voice says, "Morning. What do you have planned for the day?"

'Oh, you know same old same old. Stimulating study sessions and homework,' I sarcastically think to myself.

"Oh, you know same old same old. Stimulating study sessions and homework," Gumball replied.

‘What?’ I asked shocked.

"What?" Everyone else asked the same thing, looking flabbergasted.

'I know right he stole my sentence! Can he really hear me?'

"Sike!" he said laughing. Everyone actually sighed in relief, they must of thought the world was coming to an end. He continues, "Me and Darwin are just gonna due the usual."

His mom enters with the breakfast she made, "Sometimes I wish that you would actually do that, you know?" She place the dishes on the table; scrambled eggs, slightly crispy bacon, and hash browns.

"Everything looks good honey," says Richard who looked at the food as if he hadn't eaten yesterday.

"Thanks Richard," replied Nicole.

After everyone got their share Gumball was staring at the hashbrowns on his fork.

'You know this coulda been Idaho's cousin,' he thought as I felt his mouth salivate.

'Who thinks like that?' I yelled.

4 mind numbing hours later

Gumball and Darwin had finished gaming an hour early cause Nicole wanted them to get outta the house and play. So decided to play a quick game of "Dodj or Dahr" in the backyard. Now Gumball is walking to the park with a few scratches and what feels like a broken rib. How did he increase his pain threshold to the point of walking off broken bones.

"What are we gonna do at the park, dude?" Gumball finally asked.

"I don't know," Darwin replied with a look of questioning on his face. "Tobias just said to be at the park by 4 o'clock."

'I hope this isn't a prank or something,' thought Gumball knowing that Tobias pulls a couple of cheap tricks on Gumball and vice versa. They made it to the park, but didn't see the fluffy rainbow headed kid or the strip happy banana. As they entered Gumball sees a small white robot walking towards the rock formation near the lake.

"Hey, there's Bobert," said Gumball, "Hey, Bobert, over here."

Bobert turned his head to see who called out to him. He look in Gumball's direction and I guess used a zoom function as his eye did that unusual camera thing. He look as happy as a robot kid could and motioned for Darwin and Gumball to approach.

"Friend Gumball. Friend Darwin. It is quite elating to see you," Bobert greeted as they got closer.

'I don't know why, but... I like the way this guy talks' I thought to myself.

'How come he talks like that?' thought Gumball. I already knew we differed in thoughts, but he doesn't hate the way Bobert talks. He just thinks it's different. Nothing wrong with that. Gumball's also "different."

"Hey Bobert," Darwin begins, "Do you know why Tobias wanted us to meet at the park?"

'I know why,' I thought out loud. Sometimes I really wish Gumball could hear me here in the back of his mind. 'Who usually meets here on Sunday and what do they do?'

"It is most likely to observe the cheerleaders as they practice their routine," informed Bobert, "They have scheduled to meet here every Sunday for the last six months."

"Oh," Darwin looked like he wasn't quite sure why Tobias would want to watch them. Isn't innocence precious? Gumball on the other hand... Well let me tell you what I feel his body doing (age appropriately). His heart is beating as fast as a jackhammer, his palms have gotten a bit clammy, and I feel a lovestruck smile on his face. If you don't know; Penny, the cute peanut with antlers, is a cheerleader. Gumball is helplessly in love with her, but to nervous to say this to her. He also doesn't know that she likes him the same way, but she doesn't appear nervous around him, not like he is around her anyway.

'Come on, Gumball. Just breath,' I instructed, not like he can hear me.

'I would totally hug Tobias if it wouldn't...' he stopped in mid thought. 'Wait a minute!'

"Why are you here, Bobert?" he asked. "You don't seem like you would enjoy watching."

"He's hear to record everything," said a voice with a matter-of-fact tone. Gumball and Darwin looked around, but couldn't put a face to the voice. Then it spoke again, "Up here."

Gumball look and see Tobias looking down from the rock cliff. His rainbow face has this smug look on as if it's saying, "Nice idea, right? I thought of it before you could."

"Sup Tobias," greeted Gumball. "Where's Banana Joe?"

"He's up here looking for a good place for Bobert to catch everything," He replied. "Hurry and get up here or you'll miss everything."

Gumball didn't need to be told twice climbing up the slightly steep rock face. He was ignoring the sharp pain in his side from the hurt rib.

'Tsk... How can you not feel this pain in your side, dude,' I thought, 'you're not Supercat or anything.' Now I realized that I'm whining while the Gumball, the one who's in control is brushing it off like nothing. I would feel kinda sad, I guess, if it wasn't for Gumball's emotions overwriting mine.

As Gumball reached the top he saw Tobias had set some small snacks to enjoy while watching the show. Banana Joe had directed Bobert where he could sit to see everything. Darwin had held out a fin to help Gumball up.

"How'd you beat me up here?" He asked.

Darwin pointed back to Bobert, "He used his extending legs. You could have hitched a ride if you didn't rush up the side." At this point I could feel Gumball's face heat up in embarrassment.

'Think before you leap, Gumball.' I'm starting to enjoy the thought of seeing the cheerleaders practice. Maybe that's Gumball "infecting" me again. 'Well lets see what's happening Gumball'

Gumball strolled over to the edge and saw the cheerleaders getting warmed up. He could see everyone. Masami, the rich cloud; Molly Collins, the friendly sauropod; Teri, the cute hypochondriac paper bear; Carmen, the cactus; and Leslie, the potted flower whose also the only boy on the squad. Gumball's eyes scanned over the scene until he saw a certain peanut with antlers. Penny Fitzgerald, a nice girl with kind eyes and sweet voice, was leading the squad through small drills.

Gumball couldn't take his eyes off her. Since I could only see what he could see I learned to observe everything through the periphery of his sight. As I glanced around I noticed he was too close to the edge. I know he can take pain, but a fall from about three stories coupled with his hurt side and we're looking at hospitalization.

Nervously I try and say, 'Gumball... Slowly and safely... back away from th...'

"GUMBALL!" Darwin calling him startled Gumball and he quickly turned. At this time his foot slipped off the edge. At the same time small pieces of the cliff cracked off. Now Gumball is falling and I'm along for the ride watching from the back of his mind. I scream in Gumball's mind as he screams out loud. I see the ground close in and at the last moment he closed his eyes. The impact hurt, a lot, and I could feel repeated hits along his back. The pressure from the last few hits lingered and I realized Gumball is now trapped under the rubble.

"Help me," I weakly think aloud as I lose consciousness.

[thebirdwhodoesart]

Tw: #Suicide #WWII #emotionalabuse

♡Full name♡

Ester Bell/Anschuetz

♡Age♡

27

♡Birthday♡

February 25th 1913 [Pisces]-March 25th 1940

♡Gender♡

Female

♡Pronouns♡

She/Her

♤Sexual preference♤

Heterosexual, Heteroromantic

♡Species♡

Human, undead

♡Personality♡

Ester has very low self esteem, usually keeping her head down slightly and not saying anything especially around her husband, she often doubts herself and looked to her husband for any answers, slightly self-loathing, (after dying, she slightly lost her sense of self), Ester keeps it all bottled up, as she can't say anything out of pure fear about what her husband was gonna do to her or her son. She's really only happy away from her husband and with her son, but it pains her to tell her problems to Klaus, as she doesn't want him to blame himself even though it was Ester's fault, but Wolfgang(Ester's husband) tries to isolate Ester from Klaus

♤Looks♤

Ester is slim, 5'1, has simi rotten pale skin, with a blue eye (other is missing),and messy short curly golden hair, ruined mascara, a small pearl necklace, with a ripped knee length red and white dress, a red and white ruffle apron, and high heels.

♡Addictions♡

None

♡Weapon♡

Anything from the kitchen she can grab

♡Family♡

Avigail Bell - Mother

Status - likely dead now

Occupation - Librarian

Adam Bell - Father

Status - dead

Occupation - Lawyer

Wolfgang Anschuetz - Husband

Status - Deceased

Occupation - Soldier of the nazi party

Klaus Anschuetz - Son

Status - unknown

Occupation - unknown

♡Ships♡

I lowkey ship her with slenderman.

♡Bio♡

Ester was born to a loving Jewish family that came from Jerusalem, she had an amazing childhood, she had many friends that she loved to talk to while she drew, when she was ten she had her heart set on art school out in New York, so, anything she had she put it in her fund jar. Once she graduated from her school, she takes her jar and goes to New York (with help of her parents of course) with all her art. After her interview, she relaxes at a small cafe, where her art catches the eye of her future husband, they start to talk for a few months, before Wolfgang made a move, Ester didn't mind so she got with him, but he started to give her derogatory pet names, cutting all ties with all her friends by letters, putting down her art, patronizing, quite dismissive of her feelings, just treating her like an overall child, but Ester didn't realize those were big red flags, mainly because she didn't know said flags

After a year, Ester gets pregnant, and Wolfgang insists on getting married before she gets bigger, they do, then Wolfgang plans to move to Germany with his new wife without Ester's feedback, so a week before the trip he mentions "oh yea, you need to drop out of art school, we're going to Germany to live there", Ester, although honestly kinda hesitant, compiled mainly because she feared what would happen to her and her baby if she said no, so she moved to Germany with Wolfgang where he got worse

Once she gave birth to Klaus, Wolfgang started giving direct orders to Ester, isolating her in the kitchen not really letting her have anytime with her own son, etc, once he got into the german army, Ester got a bit happier as it was just Klaus and her, but once Wolfgang started getting leave for a few weeks, she goes back into that miserable state again

When Klaus is seven, Ester has had enough of bottling up her emotions, and takes Klaus to the orphanage to give him up for adoption because she didn't want to leave her son with a nazi, when she goes back home, she makes a noose, crying her eyes out then hung herself on the tree

When Wolfgang got home for leave, he was enraged threw alot of stuff around, before burying Ester's body in a shallow grave

Two years later, Wolfgang, while on leave, tries to get with a local German girl, Ester digs herself out of her grave, wondering why she was conscious, she sneaks in using the back door that was connected to the kitchen, sees Wolfgang on the couch making out with a chick, mad, not at the "cheating", but at Wolfgang, once she saw them, well she finally started not giving a fuck about what Wolfgang could potentially do to her, as she assumed she was technically dead because she did hang herself

She quickly grabs a fork that was shockingly clean, while Wolfgang was busy, she snuck up on them and got Wolfgang in the jugular, but couldn't kill the lady as she was too fast for Ester

♡Targets♡

Nazis

Domestic abusers/Child abusers

Rapists

¤~Artists~¤

[pennedbyzazz]

Cooking habits - our babs

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you.. (KITCHEN/COOKING HABITS) @taciturn-russian //YEA BOI

Who washes the dishes by hand and who uses the dishwasher?: Well I mean it depends if they would even have a dishwasher, obviously. If they did then I don’t really see why they wouldn’t use it. Unless there’s a few dishes in the sink in which case Vik would probably just wash them by hand. But otherwise yeah they’d just wash by hand.

Who cuts vegetables, fruit, etc by hand and who uses the easy to use chopper?: Again depends if they even have one of those LMAO. I don’t they’d even by it so they’d probably just chop by hand.

Who pours the cereal into the bowl first and who pours milk before the cereal?: Obviously both pour the cereal first what kind of savage pours the milk first.

Who buys/drinks bottle water and who uses/drinks from the tap?: They probably both drink from bottled water but I could see Lyo just being like “fuck it” and taking a drink from the sink.

Who hoards disposable containers and who throws them away?: Neither I guess? Vik does recycle them though so there’s that I guess

Who buys milk in a paper carton and who buys it in a plastic jug? Again both??? Just depends on which costs less LMAO

Who picks paper bags and who picks plastic bags after grocery shopping?: It really doesn’t make a difference, they go with either. (I’m beginning to realize how mundane these questions are LMAO)

Who HOARDS the plastic bags and who recycles them?: Neither would hoard, though I feel like Lyo might just toss them, much to Vik’s concern about the enviroment.

Who hoards salt/pepper packs, togo silverware and other togo condiments?: (I’m assuming togo silverware is like plastic forks and spoons and stuff) Vik would only keep the salt and pepper, maybe Lyo would hoard them?? I have no idea.

Who lets the garbage can overflow before throwing it out?: ???? Neither??? Who does that

Who gets annoyed when someone doesn’t use the clips for the potato chips?: Vik would only get bothered if it was just left out and opened, other than that he doesn’t care

Who uses paper plates?: Neither probably

Who uses coasters?: Viktor probably, though he wouldn’t want to admit it LMAO

Who licks the spoon/butter knife after they use it?: Lyosha. Viktor does too, he just doesn’t get caught LOL

Who loses the bread ties?: I actually had to Google what the fuck bread ties are, and turns out it’s the little plastic ties for bread bags?? I didn’t know they had a name. Anyway, definitely Viktor, and it pisses him off.

Who kicks the ice under the fridge when it falls on the ground?: Vik, the irresponsible little shit.

Who constantly cuts/burns themselves when they cook?: Neither of them really, though Vik gets more burned than he does get cut

Who organizes the spice rack? Who uses the microwave more?: Viktor ofc organizes the spices, and Lyo uses the microwave more.

Who stops the microwave one second before time’s up?: Vik, Lyosha just doesn’t care and lets it beep and beep and beep