#yea i did this before but i'm doing it AGAIN

[tinylilacbun]

Safe with him. Right?

Pairing: dark!daddy!rafe x little!reader

Warnings: DARK THEMES, age regression, drugging, kinda kidnapping, cursing, some angst? (Not sure about anything here tbh), not proofread

A/N: purely wrote this 'cause I needed some dark!rafe

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Your eyebrows furrow when Rafe comes into the room with two pieces of luggage, placing them on top of his bed where you are enjoying your allowed screentime on your iPad.

Before you can ask what was going on he walks around the bed to where you are sitting and grabs the device out of your hands, ignoring your pout before saying. "Pack some stuff while I go shower, a'ight?"

You are about to ask why but the look he gave you made you shut your mouth again, standing up while he disappeared into the bathroom.

Going into the walk-in closet you grab what you could carry over to the bed, swearing you saw Sarah rushing out the door just as you came out of the closet again. You shrug and place your clothes in your purple luggage just as Rafe came out only wearing a towel.

"I fink I saw Sarah." You tell him while he changes, packing some stuff you need for when you're little and suddenly he turns you around, his grip on your arms tight and looking at you seriously.

"Where- Where did you see her?"

"She- uh, saw her leavin' your room..." You trail off when he walks over to the dresser. He curses under his breath.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He mutters and before he could leave you grab onto his arm, looking up at him with that innocent look in your eyes, not understanding why he's acting so different right now.

"What's goin' on daddy?" You frown at him.

"Nothing to worry your pretty head about. Just- stay here." He orders and you nod, reluctantly letting go of him and watching him leave the room.

You finish packing and sat on the bed, getting restless about not getting any information about the current situation and why you were leaving this late in the afternoon.

Normally you would do as you're told but something more is going on and you just want to know what it is, confused why Rafe kept you in the dark so much lately. He also had been rather busy the last days which led you to being a lot more clingy and needy for his attention.

Getting up again you make your way out and downstairs, seeing Rose pacing in the living room when you suddenly hear glass shattering from the wine cellar, going to see what it was and completely ignore Rose calling out for you, rushing down the staircase.

You see Rafe leaning against the door with his back turned to you and can make out Sarah shouting from behind it. "Rafe! Let me out!"

"I'm not letting you out, Sarah. Not until you calm down, okay?" Rafe says calmly, his arm resting against the door.

"Screw you!" Sarah shouts, slamming her hand against it.

"I'm trying to be civil here. You're freaking out right now." Rafe sighs.

"Rafey? What's goin' on?" You ask and he turns to face you, frustration clear in his expression. "Why's Sarah in there?"

"She's locked in there because sometimes you have to make the hard choice, right? She just didn't get that." He explains, turning to face the door again as he raises his voice. "You fail to understand constantly, don't you? Huh? Don't you!"

When he slams his palm against the wooden door you flinch, not liking this side of him at all, and he knows it.

Rafe just shakes his head. "I don't have time for this shit. Come." He mumbles, as he approaches you, grabbing your arm and dragging you back up the stairs.

"Ow- daddy you're hurting me..." You whimper, trying to keep up with his pace as you feel his fingers digging into your bicep.

"Well, I told you to stay in my room, didn't I? Yea, maybe listen next time I tell you something." He exclaims, striding towards his room and pushing you to sit down on the bed, leaning down to your level. "This is the last time I'm telling you this. Stay. Here."

You nod your head, not intending on making him more mad than he already is, whispering out. "Y-Yes daddy..."

Without another word he leaves the room again, coming back inside a few minutes later with your sippy in his hand, holding it out to you. "Drink this. We're gonna leave soon."

You slowly take the sippy from him, taking some sips you smile a little at the taste of your favorite juice. "Where we goin'?"

"Somewhere nice, you'll see." He gives you a smirk, reaching a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, watching intently as you keep drinking every last drop from your sippy.

Finishing the juice you exhale, handing the cup back to Rafe when he extends his hand for it. "That's my good girl."

Slowly you start to feel sleepy, humming as you feel him running a hand through your hair, leaning into his touch like a cat nuzzling its owner. "Mmm..."

He smirks at that, bringing his hand to the back of your head he carefully lays you down. "There we go...just sleep for a bit."

You can't really make out what he's saying, your vision blurring as you're being pulled into a drug seduced slumber.

Rafe sighs in relief, standing up he reaches his arms under your knees and back, lifting you up and carrying you through the house. He pauses when he passes Rose, her eyes widening at your knocked out state.

Before she can start complaining he interrupts her. "I'll take her with me. You go and handle Sarah and make sure Wheezie doesn't find out about anything. I'll meet you later at the boat."

Rafe doesn't even care to listen to what Rose has to say and carries you outside to the transporter, setting you down in the passenger seat he buckles your seatbelt.

Getting into the driver's side he glances at you, reaching over to caress your cheek softly.

"I got everything under control...soon it will be just us both, thanks to the cross I got for us." He says, more to himself, then starts the engine and drives off.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou @sunf1ower16 @sweetstars-posts @rafecameronsloverrrrr

For Rafe:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer

[jakef3ver]

Nishimura Riki | NDA

☁︎︎ Idol!riki x fan!reader | fem!reader

↯ fluff, crack maybe suggestive a little more into the fic, use of social media (instagram, twt), reader is just a regular girl going to school and stuff

⚠︎︎ will contain mentions of alcohol consume later

-Love at first sight?-

“I swear to god Alija“

”Imagine you just want to work in peace and suddenly out of nowhere Jake and Ni-ki from fucking enhypen walk in and order a coffee from you” you say before taking another bite from the pizza Alija made for the both of you.

Alija giggles, “I would’ve freaked out honestly” she says.

“I DID freak out and you know it, but I had to keep it together somehow, you know”

“nah that’s true” she says between chewing her last bite.

“Like, I knew they’d be here in this area because of the concert” you start.

“but I would’ve never imagined that they come to our fucking workplace for coffee” you finish dramatically and slap your hands on your face.

“and the worst thing is” you exclaim and stand up abruptly “rikis hand touched mine”

“WHILE HE SMILED AT ME ALIJA”

Alija bursts out into laughter.

“I swear I fell in love even more” you sigh.

“I bet he’ll recognize you at the concert” she says as the supportive-equally-delusional best friend she is.

“He absolutely won’t” you answer

“Hyung do you remember the girl from the cafe this morning?” Ni-ki asks Jake, as they sit in Jakes hotel room and scroll through their phones.

Jake looks up from his phone and smirks.

“Yes of course”

Riki also looks up from his phone and sighs.

“I can't get her out of my head” he says and runs his free hand through his hair.

“I really wanna see her again, do you think she'll be at the concert?” he asks.

“I don't know, could be possible, she seemed a little nervous when we ordered” Jake chuckles.

“Can we go back tomorrow before the rehearsals?” Riki asks and looks at Jake, hoping he'll go back with him.

“yea I think that should fit” Jake answers him, still smirking.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Riki asks jokingly offended and throws his hands in the air.

Then suddenly he hears his phone go off.



After looking at his phone, Riki looks up to Jake who’s now holding in a laugh.

“I am really not” he whines “I- I just think she’s pretty you know”

Jake shakes his head and starts typing again.

After sending his last message, he walks over to Jake and jokingly threatens to kick him “I genuinely hate you” he says and lets himself fall onto the hotel bed.

“oh come on, there’s nothing bad about this”

Jake declares “Just give her your number tomorrow if you're so down bad already” he continues and shrugs his shoulders.

“No I cannot do that, what if it gets leaked or some shit like that” Riki groans while staring at the ceiling.

“True” Jake starts to speak while sitting down beside him, “but honestly, I guess it's a take it or it's probably gone forever kind of situation” he finishes his sentence.

“But isn't that problematic? What if she's a fan for real? Isn't that even-” Riki replies but get's cut off by Jake “fuck this problematic whatever stuff” he calls out “Nda's exist you know” he adds.

Riki hums.

“Just try and see where it goes, huh” he begins again. “Not everything has to ‘end’ negatively”

Riki nods and sits up. “I guess, yea” he answers while standing up.

“Then tomorrow 11 AM down in the lobby?” he asks before turning to leave the room.

“Sure, see you” he answers “and think about it” Jake exclaims before Riki leaves the hotel room, to go into his own.

His thoughts now running wild.

Should I do it and take the risk?

Would she even be interested?

What if it works out?

What if I'm in love for real?

Wait, does love at first sight exist?

He shakes his head, and rummages through his suitcase searching for the pajamas he packed, before changing and getting ready for bed.

But, he couldn't really sleep.

He turns from the left side, to the right side.

From his back to his stomach.

And again, from left to right.

From back to stomach.

But he couldn't get her out of his head.

masterlist | previous | next

tags: @chaevibes @yangjungwonnie @minskzy @d-dilemma @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @ssiiwave @deadpool15

[missredherring]

I've Got You Babe

Moodboard made by @iamasaddie.

Joel Miller x Fat F!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Rating: T

Summary: There's no beer in the fridge.

Contents: Fluff. Silly goose behavior.

A/N: This is for @iamasaddie 24hr writing challenge. The flow of time is an illusion, Jen. Can you tell I wrote this after work?

There's no beer in the fridge.

He's been standing in front of the open door, but no matter how many times he blinks the contents don't change: the lunches you'd made for them on Sunday and a case of sparkling water.

So there's no dinner or beer.

He could go to the bar and kill two birds with one stone: dinner and a drink without any effort on his part beside getting his wallet out. The fridge starts to hum and his eyes land on the neatly stacked food containers again.

It's not just him anymore. Maybe he'd gotten too used to taking the easy way out in the time he'd been by himself between Sarah moving out and you moving in.

Joel sighs, closes the door, and shuffles off to find you.

You're washing your face in the bathroom and whatever he opened his mouth to say follows the water right down the drain. The way you're bent over the sink makes your ass that much bigger and his tired eyes can't look away until you turn to grab a towel hanging from the bar.

You raise your eyebrows at him when you see him leaning against the doorjamb.

"There's nothing for dinner-" he starts to say and regrets it when you freeze. The wheels are almost visible as they turn your brain around and around.

"Shit. I'm sorry- I was focused on lunch and didn't-" you start to say but he quickly straightens up and holds his hands out towards you to hijack that train of thought.

"It ain't a problem, sweetheart, you did good on that- trust me. D'you wanna go out to dinner tonight and then we can swing by the grocery store on the way home?"

"Yea. Let's do that," you look down at yourself and pluck at the wrinkled t-shirt. "I just need to change into something else and then we can go."

He thinks you look just as good in yoga pants and a t-shirt as you do in everything else, but Joel knows when to pick his battles and follows you into the bedroom to change himself. His collection of un-stained clothing has been growing since he started dating you, and now is as good a time as any to wear them.

Dressed in a green polo shirt and a newer pair of jeans, he waits for you to finish slipping on shoes before ushering you to the truck. With the way you smooth the fabric down he wonders if you can feel the weight of his gaze as he watches the hem of your dress brush along the back of your dimpled thighs.

The keys are in the ignition and he grips them to turn and start the ignition when a thought occurs to him. He'd had to buy building materials earlier for his current job so he was lower on funds than he'd expected. Joel sits back and rubs at spot of dirt on the steering wheel. He turns his head towards you, looking at the soft curve of your jaw, unable to meet your eyes when he asks if you can cover dinner and groceries tonight.

You pause, doing some mental math of your own, and give him a smile. "I've got it, baby. Did Greg not bring everything you needed for the job again? I don't know why you still work with him if he keeps messing up like this."

Joel scoffs and starts the truck, choosing not to linger on how the relief spreads through him at your easy acceptance. "This is the last time. I've given him enough chances."

The sunlight is concentrated into the golden hue just before it starts to set and it bathes the cab of the truck. At a stoplight he glances over to see the way you squint against the light and when you finally turn your head the few grey strands of hair he can make out at this distance shimmer with the movement.

"Does that make me your Sugar Mommy? Since I'm paying for everything so you don't have to worry your pretty little head?"

"I wouldn't know what to do with myself," he says honestly and then goes on, curious now, "'That something you want? To be my Mommy?"

The laugh lines around your mouth deepen and twist as you cringe. "No- wait, say it again?"

"Mommy?"

"Yea, no, not for me. Nope."

"You sure? Maybe you just need to get used to it, Mommy. Mama?"

He's got you laughing and he sways easily when you push at his arm to stop him.

"What about you, Daddy?" You tease him in a sultry tone, but all he can hear is every time Sarah called him that before she grew up and started calling him "Dad" instead.

"No. That ain't bedroom talk for me."

"See?"

"I was a daddy; you don't have kids."

"Yes, and that has been a deliberate choice."

He grunts when you shove him again and then turns his attention back to the road when the light changes.

"Thank you," you say as the mirth settles in the cab.

"For suggesting dinner and then making you pay?" He jokes and is happy to find he doesn't feel bad about it.

When you reach over to take his hand Joel just switches his grip on the wheel to his left hand and locks your fingers together, resting them in your warm lap.

"More and more I understand why my mom acted as if doing anything after work was a huge issue. Most days all I'm focusing on is getting home and out of my bra." Yea, me too is on the tip of his tongue, but the tone of your voice stops him. He squeezes your hand in encouragement. "So thank you for reminding me that it's fun to go out and do things after work."

"You're welcome, honey," he says, bringing your clasped hands to his mouth for a kiss. "And if you ever want help getting out of your bra, I'm always happy to help with that too."

[sealrock]

>corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture and this picture >they're the same picture

[keeps-ache]

i think i tapped on the explore page by accident some minutes ago, i've been scrolling for a good sec like 'why is this on my dash. i don't know any of these people. what's going on' lmfsvh

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post

[crumbleclub]

They can talk, in death. Evan has questions. He wants to understand; he needs to know the whole story in order to process and heal. He needs to know why Mike was the way that he was to understand that it wasn't Evan's fault; and he wants to know what happened after he died, what it was like.

Michael wants to answer him. He wants to help; he's obligated to help, after everything he's done to Evan. He prepares his story, opens his mouth to speak...

And nothing comes out.

In which Michael threw himself to the wayside when he decided to save them, so much so that he isn't ready to talk about his own trauma after he dies.

[gluskincasual]

Yes, my treasure?

[radiance1]

This au again lawl. Where Danny wears these special sunglasses to hide his eyes that also track down ghosts in his human form.

The Justice League tracks down a summoning for the ghost king, an eons old tyrant of the infinite realms and known to bring war and devastation whenever he is summoned.

The cultists do manage to summon the ghost king, except, not how they wanted. They did indeed summon the king, but Pariah Dark is still trapped in eternal sleep and somehow, just, somehow, they managed to draw the lottery and dragged the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep to the summoning circle.

So there the Justice League were, wondering what to do with the (currently) locked away and sleeping ghost king.

Until Constantine's coat flipped itself open and a boy with glowing white hair and a mist of blue blowing from his mouth.

"Old man." The boy greeted.

"Brat." Constantine said.

"Do you mind explaining why and how this," The boy gestured to the Sarcophagus. "Is here and not in Pariah's Keep?"

"Funny story, that one." Constantine said, only half-jokingly. He then went on to explain that the Justice League came to track down cultists, said cultists somehow managed to drag that here, and now they didn't quite know what to do with it.

The boy stood still for a moment, before taking off his sunglasses to pinch the bridge of his nose and sighed, a large amount of blue flame spilling from his mouth. "Ancients above, why is it every time something notable happens, it's always you?"

Constantine snorted, reaching into his coat for a pack of cigarettes and lighting himself one. "Hypocritical coming from you."

"I know, but still." The boy walked over to the Sarcophagus and sat on it, as if it wasn't the thing currently holding one of the most powerful ghosts in the infinite realms. "You know smoking is bad for you, right?"

"What, you learned that in class?" Constantine snarked, making no move to do anything and causing the boy to sigh again, toxic green eyes looked around the room, falling over each hero present before homing in on Flash. The boy pointed to him. "You. Come here."

"Whatcha want with red?" Constantine asked and the boy simply shrugged his shoulders. "Passing on a message."

The boy blinked once, and if he was surprised that the Flash was already in front of him, then he didn't show it. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a green sticky not, motioned for Flash to bent down and stuck it on his forehead.

Superman was... concerned. There was a heartbeat there, he could hear it, but it was so slow and seemed rather weak, like the boy was near death.

"Alright, now I gotta get old mean and green back to his keep before the Observants get on my case." The boy put back on his sunglasses and got up, waving Flash away and lifting up the Sarcophagus above his head he walked over to Constantine, whose face wrinkled.

"That ain't going to fit." The warlock pointed out and the boy scoffed, probably rolling his eyes behind his glasses. "And you've fit bigger things, just shut up and lift the coat old man."

Constantine did so, and somehow the boy just shoved the entire Sarcophagus inside. The boy was very obviously smug as the blue mist that was blowing from his mouth the entire time petered out. "I'll clean up the mess on my end," The boy said before waving his hand in the Justice League's general direction. "You deal with all that."

"Just get going already, I'm not about to get those sentient eyeballs on my ass."

"Yea, yea. You got enough to deal with as is." The boy then stepped inside Constantine's cloak and as soon as the man let it drop, he disappeared.

Constantine looked around the room, silently assessing the situation as he brought another cigarette to his lips.

He lamented the fact he would have to deal with this sober.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

It's Your Name

How I imagine the lads men react to finding out you use their name in your password A/N: Don’t ask me what ‘Code Cinnamon’ is bro I don’t know I made it up. If you want to use it for something go ahead. [Requested by: Anon]

Zayne

Zayne: I need to send a few emails is it alright if I use your laptop?

MC: Yea go ahead

Zayne: What’s your password?

MC: ….

Zayne: Did you forget?

MC: No it’s uhm….

Zayne stares at you in confusion

MC, mumbling: Zaynesfavorite18….

Zayne: My name is your password?

MC: Wipe that smile off your face

Zayne: I’m flattered my love

MC: Im so embarrassed right now

Zayne: Is there anything else you use my name for?

MC: See now you’re in my business

Rafayel

Rafayel: Can I use your laptop real quick?

MC: Of course

Rafayel: What’s the password?

You’re about to say it when you remember who you’re dating

MC: I’ll type it

Rafayel: No just tell me

You sighed loudly…..

MC: Rafayelsmuse_

Rafayel: You made my name your password cutie?

MC: Don’t start acting up

Rafayel: I’m already acting up

MC: Stop before I change it

Rafayel: You’re so in love with meeeee

MC: Shut up

Rafayel: Should I crown myself as boyfriend of the year?

MC: Im changing my password

Rafayel: Baby no please I'm done

MC: No you're not

Rafayel: ……….Im done for the next hour

Xavier

Your phone dings with a message

MC: Xavier can you check that

Xavier: Of course … what's your passcode?

MC: 9 2 8 4 3 7

Xavier: What's that combination?

MC: What do you mean?

Xavier: That’s not your birthday or mine …. it's not our anniversary

MC: It’s your name in numbers Xav

Xavier locks your phone just to type it in again

Xavier: Oh

Continues to lock and unlock your phone with a smile on his face

MC: Xavier

Xavier: yea?

MC: The message

Xavier: Oh right Lisa said Code Cinnamon and Tara and Simone responded with running emojis

MC: FUCK!

Xavier: What does that mean?

MC: You don’t wanna know

You rush out of the house forgetting your phone leaving Xavier to continue locking and unlocking your phone. You run back in and pluck it from his fingers.

MC: You can play later

Sylus

You pull your laptop out and take a seat at the kitchen island while Sylus comes up behind you and kisses your cheek.

Sylus: Your password is thats_sosylus? All lowercase?

MC: *looking over your shoulder* how in the blue fuck did you figure that out?

Sylus: I can see which keys you’re hitting

MC: I type 90 words per minute how can you track that so easily?

Sylus: I have good eyes but you’re getting off topic sweetie

MC: I plead the fifth

Sylus reaches over you locking your computer and proceeds to unlock it with the same password

Sylus: I must be quite special to you

MC: Don’t get a big head

Sylus: What else do you use my name for? Should I start charging a fee?

MC: You’d make me pay to use your name?!

You turn your head to glare at him and he crashes his lips onto yours making you melt into him. He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and you allow him in. He seals the kiss off with a bite to your bottom lip and pulls away.

Sylus: Thank you for your payment

MC: You smooth talking bastard

[bravevolunteer]

c-ptsd is the driving factor behind a lot of michael's mental health and issues but i want to make a point of the beginning threads of this starting before the bite of 83, too

[keeps-ache]

they're like shiny knickknacks to me

[satoruan]

CALL ME DADDY w/Jujutsu Kaisen

More: Fem!Reader, explicit content, daddy Kink, dd/lg undertones, implied 24/7 kink play, blowjob, praise, punishment, spanking with a paddle, blood, riding, cunnilingus, squirting

Featuring: Gojo Satoru, Ryomen Sukuna, Nanami Kento & Choso Kamo

☾ Satoru Gojo  

The ‘Dad Joke’ Daddy, ’s very playful and dorky. He loves doing the stereotypical TV dad things like smoking cigars, having a world’s best dad mug, and reading the paper during breakfast. Your number one supporter, always at every event or promotion you have, and he’s the first to support you when you’re down. Because he has more life experience, he enjoys guiding you.

“Quiet baby, Daddy’s tryin' ta read the paper.” He hushes you with a firm pat on the head. You're on your knees under the table, with his cock buried as far as it can go.

“Sorry Daddy,” you whisper, taking his heavy cock out of your mouth. “I promise I’ll be quiet.” You look up at him expectantly through wet lashes.

“I know you will, love.” He smiles down at you before gently pushing your head back towards his cock. You happily shove It back into your mouth while he picks up his favorite mug and reads about the current world events.

“Such a good girl, always listenin’ to what Daddy tells you, hmm? I think you deserve an award.”

☾ Ryomen Sukuna

The 'Disciplinarian' Daddy, has very high expectations of you. Very strict with SO many guidelines and rules, it's almost like he wants you to fail so he has a reason to punish you. He’s a brat tamer who readily reminds you who's in charge. Likes to physically enforce his rules and never skips a good spanking. 

“I’m sorry Daddy, promise I am!” You sob as the wooden paddle comes down on your already bruised ass. 

“You didn't sound sorry laughin' and messin’ with me durin’ my meeting.” He grits out, forcing your hands to stay on to the side when you try to cover your ass. 

“Thought it was funny while m’ just tryin’ ta support us,” he brings the paddle down, ignoring your screams for mercy. “All you do is sit at home and’ spend my hard-earned money.”

“I'm sorry Daddy I won’t do it again.” You squirm when he rubs an especially sore spot on your ass that you know for a fact is going to sting for the next week. 

“Yea?” He slowly lets go of your hands.

“Yes! Yes! I swear Daddy, on my life!” Your sob of relief turns into a scream when he brings his hand down again. 

“What did I say about swearing things on your life, huh!?”

☾ Nanami Kento

The ‘Professor’ Daddy, he's so calm and patient with you. All he wants is to see you succeed. Likes taking you on informational dates like going to a museum or aquarium or just staying in and watching documentaries. He’s a pillar of strength, very structured and strict but also forgiving and nurturing. Loves giving you praise and seeing your face lighten up when he teaches you something interesting. 

“C'mon little girl, you can do it.” He encourages you from his place underneath you. 

“I can’t do it! ‘S too big, I’m so stupid!’ You cry out, covering your tear-ridden face from your daddy. 

He must be so disappointed, you think. 

“Hey…Hey, you can, princess, I know you can. Remember what Daddy taught you?” he pulls your hands from your face and places them on his big chest. You look into his eyes and nod.

“Yea,” he settles you over his cock. “Daddy knows he taught you how to ride, you just have to do it yourself now. C'mon perfect girl you can do it.”

With his praise you nod to yourself before slowly guiding yourself down his shaft. Once you reach the hilt you moan and smile down at him. He smiles back before nodding back expectantly. You brace your knees on the soft pillows underneath them and slowly start bouncing exactly like he taught you. 

“My perfect girl.”

☾ Choso Kamo

The ‘lowercase ‘d’ Daddy, the rare submissive daddy. He loves doing anything that pleases you and tends to be more forgiving when you break the few rules he has. He enjoys providing from a submissive mindset and being wrapped around his partner's finger. 

“Do you feel good, baby?” Chosos asks from his position underneath your dress.

“Mhm, feels so good Daddy, you always make me feel so good.” You moan when he goes back to eating you out. He says something else but it's muffled as he sucks on your clit, his fingers curl into your g-spot. 

“Right there Daddy,” You squeeze his head between your thighs. “M’gonna squirt Daddy, you’re gonna make me squirt!” You yell before releasing all over his face. 

“Fuck that felt so good Daddy.” You grin at Choso who’s come out of your now damp dress.

“Yea? You tasted fuckin’ divine babygirl.” He grins up at you. 

“Can you do me a big favor?” You blink innocently, already knowing the answer. His eyebrows frown in confusion.

“Course I will baby, what is it?”

“Can you lick my mess up off the floor, don’ want my parents to wonder why the floor is wet.”

[bluetimeombre]

・❥ ‘Are you Hugh down under?’

You and Hugh were the stars of the biggest movie, Wolverine and Ladypool, and fans love the two of you.

[not proof-read, some sexual innuendo, just Hugh being hot af]

part two

You and Hugh Jackman being in love for twenty-five minutes (part one)

Puppy interview

Did you take any props home with you?

'Yea, I took Hugh home,' you said, letting a puppy climb over you and onto your shoulders as Hugh laughed. 'In his suit as well.'

'In the suit,' he said, stroking the puppy in his lap.

'Yep. Great in the house, goes with all my furniture. He's well trained.'

Hugh nodded, enthusiastically. 'I'm not toilet trained, but I'm trained in other ways.'

You raise your brows and the crew laugh. 'I want to know what the other ways are now.' You smirk.

Hugh smirked back, shrugging his shoulders as he held up the puppy. 'Well, maybe you'll find out.'

What was your favourite scene to film?

'Any scene with the incredible talent sitting next to me,' Hugh started. 'Every scene was such fun and never felt like work when I got to work with her. I've never had so much fun playing a character. The whole movie at first, you know, the idea was up in the air for me about coming back but just to get the chance to work with such a talent- an honour and a privilege and I can't wait to do it again.'

Your lips pout into a smile as you listen to him. You focused on Hugh as he smiled at you. 'My favourite scene to film was when I touched his abs.'

He laughed.

'No, seriously it's been a dream of mine to work with Hugh and I can't talk about it too much cause I'd probably get emotional and that'd be embarrassing. I've grown an emotional attachment to him now,; you added.

Hugh looked around at all of the puppies. 'Is there more puppies here than usual?'

'Oh yea, there's more!'

'Someone's been making out,' said Hugh.

'Not us,' you said, leaning over.

He laughed. God, he was always laughing with you.

With Alison Hammond

The two of you sat next to each other, legs bumping into each other repeatedly to tease each other. At times you'd just throw your leg over his thigh and he'd bounce his leg. (Fans ate it up)

'Alright you two,' said Alison.

'Sorry,' you laugh. 'He's taking up too much space.'

'The Wolverine spread,' he said.

You laughed.

Alison gave her a loud laugh. 'Well, is it true, Hugh?' she asked. 'Are you huge down under?'

The three of you laughed, rocking back and forth and hitting your knees.

'I started the rumour,' you said. 'So, take that as you will.'

Hugh showed Alison his shoe as she fanned herself off.

You took another card she offered you and fanned yourself off as Hugh sat back, throwing his arms behind his head.

'So, we should probably talk about the film,' said Alison.

'Let's just talk about Hugh,' you said, leaning back just like he was. 'Ever won an Oscar, Hugh?'

He pulled a straight face at you.

'Now, can I say, Y/N, this is a bit awkward as usually it's just me and Hugh. Last time we had a date, so I've brought champagne, but only two glasses,’ she pulled off the cover that showed off the bucket.

'I'll take the bottle,' you said, reaching over the two of them. 'I can leave you guys, don't worry.'

Hugh grabbed your arm as you tried to leave. 'No, no, you can be our mediator.'

'Your intimacy coordinator more like,' you said as Alison laughed. 'I've seen how these interviews go Alison, I've never had Hugh feed me chocolates.'

Hugh reached over the table as Alison talked about 'a throuple' and he opened the box of chocolates, throwing away the thin layer of film covering them with his teeth. You only realised what was going on seconds before he fed you chocolate from his mouth. You tried to stay calm the closer you got and took the chocolate, chewing down happily.

'Feel like I'm interrupting something,' said Alison.

You stole the box from Hugh. 'Your turn, Alison!'

'So how tough was it working with Hugh, Y/N?'

You slapped your thighs dramatically. 'The toughest ever. You know sometimes I'd actually have to look at his face and I mean, have you seen this-' you frame his face, holding his chin. 'How can I work with this?'

He stuck his tongue out.

(Almost this whole interview was the two of you flirting)

Hot one's interview

'You're watching hot ones. It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. Today we're joined by Y/N and Hugh Jackman, the stars of Wolverine and Ladypool.'

'I only let Wolverine come first so we could use the greatest showman in the movie,' you said. 'For Hugh.'

First wing and first question.

You and Hugh cheers with Sean before taking a bite. You nod, 'Good wing, subtle, nice.' You went in for another bite, surprising them.

'Oh, you're going for another bite,' said Hugh, eyes watching your lips (comments couldn't let it go).

'Yeah, I like things hot,' you tell him, giving him a dramatic wink.

'What was the movie that you watched of each other that made you realise you needed to work with each other?' asked Sean.

'As soon as I saw the first Ladypool,' said Hugh. 'I knew these two characters had to be together on screen. I was like these two characters had to be together and I'd literally announced my retirement three days before.'

'Mine was probably when I saw the first ten minutes of Australia,' you said, referring the first ten minutes in which he turns up shirtless and sweaty. 'Knew I needed to see it real-time.'

Hugh huffed out a laugh.

'Or Logan. That was, a masterpiece of a film.'

The next couple wings went down well, getting through the questions. It was the fifth when things started to get heated.

'Yep, that's a step up,' said Hugh as he went for the milk.

'Can you recall the most takes you've had to do for a scene requested by a director?' asked Sean.

'Our steamy scene in the car had quite a few takes,' you said, Hugh agreeing with a nod. 'Kept messing up, you see,' you said, winking.

'That was a difficult scene,' said Hugh.

'Why cause you had to kiss me?'

Hugh shook his head. 'That was the easiest part, I'm laughing, I'm not crying cause of the heat. But doing some of those... positions we had to do in the car, it was hard to work around.'

'I got cramp in my leg.'

He laughed loudly at the memory.

The next wing messed the two of you up, the heat creating sweat. All Hugh could do was laugh and you laughed at him as he went red.

'Look, look at this!' Hugh puts his arm up, showing his bicep.

'What am I looking at? Your raging muscles?' you ask, looking closer.

'No, the sweat.'

'Oh, sorry I was distracted.'

On the next wing, Hugh repeated he took too big a bite, how it was too big and all you had to do was give him a look with raised brows.

You and Hugh take a lie detector test

First hooked up was Hugh, you watched in glee as ties were wrapped around him.

'This is a new kink,' you said, smiling all too widely as Hugh laughed at you.

You started by asking him some simple questions that were easy answers, like his name and where he was born. 'Are you really Australian?'

'Yes.'

You looked to Louis. 'Tell me it's a lie.'

'Truth.'

'This Australian bit has got so far,' you say.

'You love it,' he said.

'We'll find out when I'm hooked up.'

'How you seen all my movies?' you asked.

He thought for a moment. 'No.'

'Deceptive.'

The two of you looked at each other with amused looks and big eyes. 'You can tell me you've seen them all, you can be a fan, I don't mind.'

He shrugged. 'Maybe I have.'

'You're a fan it's fine.'

'I'm wearing my I heart Y/N underpants today,' he said.

You looked wide-eyed and hopeful at Louis.

'Deceptive.'

You cheer.

'In 2008 you were said to be the sexiest man alive-'

'Said to be,' he scoffed. 'Pretty sure the right word is elected.'

'The question is how many copies of the magazine do you have?' you asked.

'How many do you have?' he threw back.

'I'm not the one on the fucking monitor right now.'

'A standard of fourteen hundred?'

'Is there any more to life than being really, really, really, really, really ridiculously good looking?' you ask, leaning back in your chair. 'That's not on the cards, I just want to know.'

'No.'

'Truthful.'

The two of you cackle. After a couple more questions it was your turn to swap. Hugh took delight in seeing you get tied up.

'Starting to sweat a bit,' you said. 'This really is scary.'

'Yea.'

Again, Hugh started off with some simple questions.

'Last one,' he said. 'Are you single?'

You pulled a straight face as he turned red and watched you. 'Yes, I am. Thank you for reminding me of that fact, Hugh.'

He shook his head. 'Don't worry, we can change that, we can change that.'

'Only if you're offering, bub,' you tease.

'Would you rather have had an Andrew Garfield Spider-man team up than Wolverine?' he asked.

Your jaw dropped as he showed you the question on the card. 'That's not fair I love spiderman and Andrew.'

'But do you love him more than Wolverine?' asked Hugh, feigning seriousness. He waited as you thought about it, head in his hand.

'True,' you said.

'That's a lie.'

'Ha!' Hugh shouted.

'I've shocked myself, man, I must really fancy you,' you said.

Hugh slid over a paper, showing you a picture of Channing Tatum. 'Do you think he would make a good Gambit?'

You try to act cool, he was already in the movie and Hugh knew it. 'Yes, I think he would. It's a shame his movie wasn't made. I feel bad for the guy.'

'Truthful.'

You pick up the picture. 'I love this guy, he's a great guy,' you stare down at the picture, 'He'd made a great Wolverine. I mean, I'm just getting lost in his eyes right now, looking at him.'

Hugh reached over. 'Ok, enough of that,' he took the picture and ripped it up, chucking it behind him.

You and Hugh at the premier

The camera snapped shots of the two of you wearing each other's colours. You were wearing a shimmering golden outfit while Hugh wore red. You had agreed to swap.

The two of you took pictures together, his arm wrapped around your waist, yours going between reaching up to hold his shoulder or holding his hands. You didn't stop for many interviews together, but you spoke a lot on the carpet. That tiktoker, the one good at reading lips had a field day on tiktok when she worked it all out.

Hugh: 'You look great in yellow, you know.'

You: 'You should see the colour of what I'm wearing under here.'

Hugh smirked and laughed. 'You look beautiful tonight.'

It was your turn to blush and tug him along the carpet.

[buckyalpine]

40's baby Bucky & baby Reader, Present Bucky x Reader, all the flufff, a lil angst but it just adds to the fluff, promise

Bucky sat under the tree with a very prominent pout on his chubby face, his arms crossed against his chest with his brows pulled together. He wasn't happy. Not one bit. Not after his favorite ball was kicked over a fence by the other neighborhood boys.

"Bucky, do you want to play with me?" You toddled over to your best friend hoping to lift his spirits after seeing him so grumpy only to be met with a huff.

"No! Go play with Stevie instead. Leave me alone!" He frowned, brushing you off and turning his back at you to sulk facing the tree instead.

"But-

"I don't want to play with you" Bucky grumbled. Your bottom lip wobbled, dropping your shoulders as you walked off and sat by yourself under some shade on your porch. You didn't have many friends being the youngest and only little girl on your street; Bucky and Steve being the only two who included you in their games.

"Bucky's mean" You picked up one of your dolls, setting her up beside you while you toyed with a wild flowers, doing your best to keep from sniffling after he shooed you away. You knew he was upset but you wanted to make him feel better!

Of course it didn't take long for Bucky to feel bad, peeking over to see your fallen face sitting all alone on the steps of your house, eyes wet with tears which you were desperately blinking back. He got a bad feeling in his little pudgy belly, knowing he wasn't very nice to you. He knew his ma wouldn't be very happy if she heard how he'd spoken to you, especially after you were just trying to brighten his mood. He got up from his place on the grass, nicking a few flowers from his garden before shuffling over to you only to be met with your now grumpy face, crossing your arms and turning away just like he did.

"I'm sorry y/n" Bucky came and plopped beside you, moving the doll away, while clutching onto a few pink tulips. You didn't respond, still mad at him for being mean to you when you'd done nothing wrong. "C'mon jellybean, pwease?"

His baby blues were shining bright as he gave you his best puppy eyes, hoping you'd forgive him. You felt a giddy at the name he called you, one he'd given you because he thought you were sweet like one. You turned to face him while he gave you a shy little smile, placing the flowers onto your lap.

"I brought you flowers" He stated proudly, happy at the giggle you let out, setting them aside before tugging at his hand to run off and play.

-

"Y'promise you'll come back?" your eyes were wet with tears again although you were now 20 years older and the chubby boy you grew up with had grown into a very handsome soldier. He stood before you in his clean and pressed uniform, his face shaven, hair neatly cropped.

"Of course doll" He whispered affectionately, letting his thumbs swipe across your cheeks, kissing away the tears that fell. "I'll always come back to you jellybean"

"You better" You sniffled, standing on your toes to chase more of his lips as he pressed them to yours, his hands wrapping around your waist, picking you up with ease.

"M'gonna come right back to you, safe n'sound" He held you for as long as he could, rocking you close to his chest while you fought back a sob, giving him a brave smile instead.

"I love you Jamie"

"I love you jellybean"

That was the last time you saw him.

-

"This is a bad idea"

"When have I ever had a bad idea" Tony scoffed, continuing to tinker with his quantum portal while Bruce looked over numbers.

"It's not stable enough Tony, if we send someone through this, they could get stuck in an alternate timeline or we could end up changing the future-

"Yea, yea, stop worrying, hand me that spanner"

Bruce sighed, handing over the tool while contemplating on the safest way to test the machine. It wasn't ready to handle anyone actually travelling through time but at the very least they could potentially open portals to the past.

"We gotta put in a location to see if this works-how about-" Tony contemplated on a location, his eyes growing wide with excitement when he spotted Steve's diary that he'd left behind in the lab, "Let's see if Captain has any interesting places from the 40's"

"Why wouldn't you just see if we could get to the compound garden" Bruce groaned while Tony flipped through the pages, typing in an address that had been scribbled in. It was from a list of places Steve wanted to visit again from when he was a child, the address of the person listed under friends. There was only one other person listed there other than Bucky.

"Alright, call the others, let's see if this baby works"

"You're going to get us all killed" Bruce shook his head while calling for everyone to come to the lab. By now everyone was used to Tony's antics; the only one who was genuinely giddy with excitement was surprisingly Bucky. One thing he'd always loved was science; even his stoic expression couldn't hide the twinkle in his eye every time he got to see another Stark experiment.

"Glad you all made it. Now, thanks to Cap, we're going to see if we can open a portal that travels back to the 1940's. I suggest you all stand back since I haven't actually tested this before"

"Why are you like this" Nat snorted while Tony waved her off, pushing a few more buttons before hitting start. Bucky watched from the safe sidelines of the lab as the machine began to vibrate, a low buzz growing louder until a portal roared to life that lead to the inside of someone's home. Bucky and Steve were both stunned from shock seeing a flash of a very familiar living room for no longer than a second before the whole thing closed with a bang and a large puff of smoke in its place.

"Well done Mr. Playboy billionaire dumbass" Sam wheezed while the team was left coughing, the room cloudy as the loud buzz began to dull. "What was the location you even put in-

Sam stopped talking midway when he heard another voice coughing followed by mumbling coming from the place where the portal closed. The smoke hadn't yet dissipated but the shadow of a person was slowly becoming visible. Everyone froze when they realized there was someone on the platform, wondering who could've been sucked through.

"Bruce, turn on the fan-" Bruce hit the lab fan which pulled helped with the smoke revealing a young woman in a flower printed dress. An apron was still tied around her waist, flour streaked across her cheeks, a rolling pin still in her hand. "What the-

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES"

Bucky thought he was going to collapse as soon as he saw who was on the platform, his heart fluttering madly in his chest. He couldn't control the blush that crept up on his cheeks, butterflies bursting in his tummy, just as they did all those years ago. The young woman stormed up to the soldier, face full of fury as her palm smacked his cheek (Not hard enough to actually hurt him of course).

"HOW DARE YOU"

Everyone else in the lab silently congregated to one side watching curiously though Steve was still utterly frozen seeing-

"Y-y/n? Doll?"

"Don't you doll me" you whacked his arm with your rolling pin, huffing when it clanged back after hitting metal. That didn't seem to faze you as you switched and hit the other arm instead, making Bucky yelp. "You lied!"

You dropped your makeshift weapon to the floor, moving your hands to your hips instead, looking up and down at the man you loved with your entire heart, the man who you mourned for years after you were told he was dead. He looked much different from when you'd last seen him, the most obvious difference being an entirely new arm. His cheeks were scruffy and it was clear some form of time travel had taken place but none of that mattered. None of that mattered when the love of your life was standing right there, alive and well.

"Oh baby, no-

"Absolutely not Barnes" you huffed at the pet name he gave you, crossing your arms over your chest and Bucky thought he'd melt into an absolute puddle at the sight. He was thrown back to when you were both no more than 4 years old, with a cute little frown on your face whenever you'd get upset. "You left! I thought you-I thought you died!"

The sound of your voice cracking broke Bucky's heart, his hands itching to wrap you up and pull you close to his chest the way you loved. He could see your eyes twinkle with tears threatening to spill out while you rapidly tried to blink them away. You chewed on your bottom lip to keep from wobbling and it only made Bucky yearn to hold you and never let go.

"Sweetheart please, I didn't mean to leave you doll, I promise" He stepped closer to you, hesitantly reaching out to take your hand in his, not feeling the slightest bit conscious about his metal arm. The coolness of his hand calmed your racing heart while you sniffled, still refusing to meet his eyes as you stared down at your feet instead.

The day you'd been told he'd never come back had been the worst day of your life. You wept for months on end, losing the man you were waiting to marry. The only person you'd been in love with since you were 4 years old.

Seeing you standing there before him stirred feelings in Bucky h never thought he'd feel again. Having a home. A beautiful wife. Little chubby babies. All with his dream girl he'd loved all his life. There wasn't a day that had gone by where he didn't think about her. He didn't think he'd ever get the chance again but here you were, dusted in flour like you always were whenever you were in the kitchen, in a pretty dress he loved so much, fighting your cries after desperately missing him. He softly cupped your cheeks, swiping away at your tears, his forehead coming down to softly rest against yours. He smiled through watery eyes at your stubborn nature, still keeping your arms crossed while his nose bumped with yours.

"Jellybean" Bucky whispered, your heart melting at the name, swallowing the lump in your throat, "Please? I-I'll- I'll bring you flowers" He said with a shaky voice, nearly toppling over when you flung yourself into his arms. He caught you, squeezing you right back and lifting you off the floor to cradle you nice and tight before pulling back to smash his lips against yours. The collective sniffles and whistles from the team were drowned out by your soft giggles and warm lips.

"I missed you so much" you buried your face into the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of him, the one that comforted yo the most.

"You have no idea how much I missed you jellybean, never letting you go again"

"Terminator, you wanna introduce us?" Tony was the first to speak up, not so subtly wiping away at his eyes while Bucky continued to look at you with heard eyes, introducing you to everyone. You could only wrap your head around so much at a time but nothing truly mattered now that you were back with your soldier.

And of course your other best friend.

"Steve" You giggled as Steve lifted you up with ease into a tight hug, grinning at his two friends finally getting the life they deserved together.

Seriously imagine how sickeningly cute these two would be. Bucky is so excited to teach you all about the future. He gets to show you how to use all the new technology around the compound. He's so naughty about it too, teasingly telling you he'd be happy to help you in the shower if there's any questions you has about water temperature.

He doesn't waste any time with asking to marry you. Its everything you've ever dreamed of and more considering Tony took the bill and ran. Bucky can't put into words how happy he is finally getting the life he thought was ripped from his hands.

On your wedding night, Bucky spends hours loving on you like there's no tomorrow which is why a few months later, your belly is swollen with your first baby. Bucky is thankful for the future because as excited as he is to start a family, he's scared shitless something could happen to his jellybean.

"Bucky, I'm fine-

"Absolutely not, why are you up Jellybean, go sit down, I'll bring breakfast to you"

"I can still walk y'know-

"Nope. You stay right there, don't move mama, just rest"

When you do have to move around, he's there holding your baby bump, feeling giddy over becoming a dad. He can't wait to meet his little baby that he's made with his dream girl.

After his son is born, he waits for your body to heal but no ones surprised to see you with a new bump not too long after.

Two baby boys are no match for all the avengers but they all happily share their god father and god mother duties.

Your third is a little girl and she's going to be spoiled by everyone.

Somewhere along the way, you get a white fluffy cat.

Bucky's life has never been better.

[mariasont]

Sending another thought that I can’t think of a way to elaborate on to your magnificent mind

Aaron Hotchner with his assistant who’s rambling (like every other day) about random stuff and she’s just like “I want kids someday” and Hotch is like “oh yea?” And she’s like “yea! And if I ever have kids I hope they’re just like Jack, he’s such a little angel” blah blah blah and poor Hotch is screaming in his mind like YOU COULD HAVE JACK??? BE HIS STEPMOM????

Sorry I’m absolutely feral for them ily bye

BUSINESS OF MAKING BABIES - A.H

a/n: i took this in a slightlyyyy different direction but ugh same im so feral for these two!!!! thank you for your most amazing request! i <3 you!

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader

warnings: references to baby making!!!!!!

wc: 0.6k

Aaron needed to get work done, but his focus was more trained on the delicate patch of skin that connected your shoulder to your neck, smooth and glowing like you'd just stepped out of the sun. You smelled delectably good, which was sending his neurons into overdrive. You were saying something, formulating and articulating thoughts from that perfect brain and through your also perfect mouth. 

He was concentrated on making sure you knew he was listening, nodding and humming every so often as you continued on your tangent, hands waving dramatically through the air, heels clanking on the floor in his office as you paced the room. His gaze moved to your thighs, only for a second, he was a gentleman after all. 

"And she's just, you know, popping them out left and right, and I'm over here like, Hello? Can I get a turn? I'm not asking for much, just a sweet guy who's willing to, you know, help me out with the whole baby-making thing."

You stopped dead in front of his desk, placing your hands atop the wood as you let out a melodramatic sigh. This caught his attention, eyes snapping up to meet yours.

"You want kids?" The words left his mouth before he could filter them. "Isn't that a bit premature at your age?"

"Okay, Grandpa," you giggled, plopping yourself down in the chair before him. "And, of course, I want babies. They'd be the cutest, hopefully just like Jack. He's the sweetest, isn't he?"

Hotch felt his heart plummet to his stomach, jaw clenching and unclenching as he rubbed his thumb along the rough edges of his chin. "Yeah, he's pretty great."

You sighed again, a common occurrence in this conversation, as you stood up and moved around the desk before plopping yourself down on it. Your calve grazed accidentally against his thigh. You absentmindedly adjusted a wrist full of charm bracelets, creating a gentle jingling sound that should've annoyed him, but it did anything but.

"Honestly, though, who even needs a boyfriend these days? I could totally just take the whole donor route for the baby thing. Easy-peasy!"

Hotch's response came after a brief, flustered pause, during which he seemed to search for the right words. Clearing his throat, he managed to look anywhere but at you as he carefully said, "Ah, yes, I suppose you could... do that."

In an effort to regain some semblance of control over the situation, Hotch took a deliberate sip of the somewhat stale coffee sitting on his desk. However, before he could swallow, you bounded off the desk, eyes wide with sudden realization.

"You know what? You would be a great donor."

The coffee in Hotch's mouth nearly made a swift exit as he choked, trying to comprehend what you had just said.

Hotch opened his mouth, attempting to form a coherent response, but before he could broker a single word, you had both hands on his shoulders.

Your eyes were sparkling as you took in his face. "Yeah, like, you have great hair--totally not receding--perfect eyes, great skin..."

Your rapid-fire compliments left him momentarily speechless, a rare flush making its way to his cheeks.

"Well, I--" Hotch began, but your excitement had already taken the reins before he could even navigate through his thoughts.

"I can totally see it; we'd have such cute kids!" you gushed, practically dancing towards the door as if your dreams were almost tangible in the air.

Hotch watched you leave, stuck in his chair, dumbfounded and momentarily lost for words. A bemused smile formed on his lips as he realized he didn't hate the idea at all.

No sooner had the door closed behind you than Morgan appeared, looking thoroughly baffled. He crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze flicking between Hotch and the door you had just exited through.

"Since when are you and Miss Pretty in Pink in the business of making babies together?"

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