#yea I know copyright and all that yada yada

[ineffably-splendid]

I live for the day when the shitscript will resurface once again from the deepest pits of hell for a tiny window of reading opportunity. Until Neil Gaiman once again tells everyone to delete it and the cycle begins anew.

[av-ryan]

TEXTS; AV & RONAN

JULY

Ronan Ryan

How do you feel about arcade games and singing animatronic birds?

AV Ryan

Sounds like heaven, why?

Ronan Ryan

There's a couple places here I want to check out. Somewhere called Tropicz, and then a Mr. Cheezies?

AV Ryan

Sounds sublime, I'm in. I'm not gonna lie tho, Mr. Cheezies sounds like a broke Chuck E Cheese.

Ronan Ryan

That's exactly what it is actually

I'm not sure there's anywhere else with an arcade here though

AV Ryan

Hey, I'm not complaining, can't be be worse than the actual Chuck E Cheese we used to go to back home

Ronan Ryan

Exactly!

I'm excited to see how many games I can destroy you at

AV Ryan

I guess there's only one way to find out

Ronan Ryan

I guess so. You busy tomorrow yet?

AV Ryan

You ask that like I have a life.

I'm not busy and we should definitely hang.

Ronan Ryan

Just making sure. Let's go tomorrow then! Maybe hit up a bar while we're out?

AV Ryan

You sure you’ll survive someone else making our drinks?

Ronan Ryan

It's for a job application

AV Ryan

Well you can apply, I’m going to drink.

Ronan Ryan

Sounds good! You need a DD anyway

What do you think of the place so far?

AV Ryan

I mean I’m not allergic to walking, The beds are nice? And the campus isn’t bad? What about you?

Ronan Ryan

If you want to walk, we can walk

that's fine. It's okay. It's weird being out of Texas but I'm surviving.

AV Ryan

Yeah let’s walk, it’s nice outside. I don’t you just love summer? We need to get you past surviving and into thriving ASAP.

Ronan Ryan

Cool, walking it is then. Summer's alright, I'm excited for it to cool down though. The beach is so fucking nice though. There's a stretch of it on campus.

I'll get there, AV. But thanks for caring.

AV Ryan

I haven't been yet, but I'll take your word for it.

Well we look out for each other right?

Ronan Ryan

Always.

AV Ryan

See you later for dinner. Don't forget my cigarettes.

Ronan Ryan

[ loved this ]

Ronan Ryan

I'm gonna need you to come remove the gum from my bed frame.

AV Ryan

I didn't fucking do it.

Ronan Ryan

I'm not blaming you for Simon's actions but he was in my room last night because you triggered him out AV.

AV Ryan

That's fair. Fuck. It's been sitting there all night?

Ronan Ryan

It has.

it's gross

AV Ryan

I guess I'll come now to take it off. And raid your pantry since I know you went shopping yesterday

Ronan Ryan

Fine but don't touch my soda bread.

Let me get my roommate to open the door, I'm not in right now.

I really should just give you a key.

AV Ryan

Fine I won't take all of your soda bread. Okay, cool. But yeah, you really should just give me one.

Ronan Ryan

We'll see

excited for later?

AV Ryan

What's later?

Ronan Ryan

Ouchhh.

I'll direct your attention to the top of the thread.

AV Ryan

I know, I'm just fucking with you. Hell yeah I'm excited!

Ronan Ryan

I know

Me too. I wonder if they'll let us on stage with the birds.

AV Ryan

I'd love to see them try and stop us.

Ronan Ryan

Let's do it

AV Ryan

Fuck yeah. So how was Sloan & Co last night, did I fuck up?

Ronan Ryan

Sloan & Co

Uh, it was fine. I think. Aside from the gum. Simon insisted on sleeping on the floor but when Sloan fronted they actually got in bed.

AV Ryan

I should copyright that shit.

Okay cool. Sierra cussed me out this morning first thing

Ronan Ryan

Fuck

I'm glad I slept through that. She made me coffee

AV Ryan

As long as Sloan's not actually mad at me, I think I'm good.

Ronan Ryan

I think you're good, don't worry about it.

You just wanted everyone together.

AV Ryan

See? I knew you fucking got it.

Ronan Ryan

I did, yeah. From now on we'll just keep family activities to things everyone wants to do, to avoid a repeat.

AV Ryan

That's cool with me. I was not feeling the strip club anyway. In retrospect - fuck them strippers.

Ronan Ryan

Lmao. Still pissed about the alien conversation?

AV Ryan

It might still be a touchy subject but I’m 83% over it

Ronan Ryan

Aliens 10000% exist.

There's no way they don't.

AV Ryan

I just wanted to talk, I don’t care if they agree or not. But like I said I’m over it. 91% now

Ronan Ryan

That's fair. Cool you're over it though. It was fun debating it

AV Ryan

I’ll be at 100% by the time we go out later.

Ronan Ryan

Cool, sounds good. Thanks for getting the gum off for me.

AV Ryan

Yeah no problem.

Ronan Ryan

Did you know there are people that actually want to be benchpressed?

AV Ryan

Is this a trick question?

Ronan Ryan

No, I didn't know that was a thing

AV Ryan

People especially love it when it's from a person in uniform

Ronan Ryan

Oh, okay. That's strange. Anyway, ready to head out?

AV Ryan

Why does someone want you to benchpress them?

Yep. I'm ready.

Ronan Ryan

I don't think they want me to do it specifically.

They just mentioned asking someone before and getting turned down

AV Ryan

Well mentioning it randomly is kind of weird.

Ronan Ryan

Feeling okay today, AV?

AV Ryan

I’m amazing today. You?

Ronan Ryan

I'm great

had a little bit of a headache earlier but the gym and some painkillers helped that.

AV Ryan

Last night was super chill Roe

Ronan Ryan

It was a nice time! I enjoyed it.

We should do it again

AV Ryan

Mr. Cheezies? Not so much, Tropicz hell yea! Those birds are my jam!

Ronan Ryan

Not a fan?

The birds were so cool. It's so stupid they don't let you on stage. I wanted a picture

AV Ryan

Next time we jump on stage we need to take a picture right quick, before they’re able to tell us to get down

Yeah I’m good on the Cheezies

Ronan Ryan

Absolutely. We'll do that next time.

I'm hoping the Flag is somewhere I'll be comfortable working though, and with better quality top shelf

AV Ryan

Fuck yeah. We’ll find out tonight, right?

Ronan Ryan

Yes! I'm excited

I'll sneak you free drinks and everything.

AV Ryan

You ain’t gonna get any complaints from me

Ronan Ryan

I know

all the more reason to come by right?

AV Ryan

If my codependence wasn’t enough? Yessir!

Ronan Ryan

That's fair

AV Ryan

It’s just been so long since I’ve been around everyone. I didn’t realize how much I miss you guys.

Ronan Ryan

I missed you too, and I know the others did too. If you need to talk or anything I'm h We're all together again now though, and that's what matters.

AV Ryan

That's all that matters.

Ronan Ryan

Hey, AV. How are you?

AV Ryan

(shrug emoji) you?

Ronan Ryan

Shoulder hurts a little but otherwise I'm good

AV Ryan

Sunburnt?

Ronan Ryan

Yes

Which is beyond me.

AV Ryan

Oh come on, you knew that was gonna happen.

Ronan Ryan

I thought two layers would be enough

I'll just wear a shirt next time

AV Ryan

Or stay in the shade

Ronan Ryan

I'd rather get a sunburn

The beach is meant for swimming

AV Ryan

You’re just a glutton for punishment are you?

Ronan Ryan

I guess you could say that

AV Ryan

Especially doing this perfect match thing. Though I’m not gonna lie, I was going to do it but forgot

Ronan Ryan

Listen, I ran five miles this morning

I'm so nervous

You should have done it

AV Ryan

Well you literally get to him pick your partner right? At least there is not gonna be any surprises right?

I bet the run was gorgeous as fuck though

Ronan Ryan

It's more rejecting and/or being rejected

It was, it was right at sunrise

AV Ryan

Oh that’s easy, if someone rejects you I’ll just kick their ass. And if someone gives you grief for rejecting them, I’ll just kick their ass. It’s as simple as that.

Ronan Ryan

Thanks, AV. I'd kick someone's ass for you too.

AV Ryan

Oh I fucking know you would. It’s a good thing I taught you how to fight

Ronan Ryan

It is. Easily one of my favorite memories.

AV Ryan

You've got a mean right hook

Ronan Ryan

We should get together in a boxing ring together sometime

AV Ryan

I've been off my game, but I can still kick your ass

Ronan Ryan

I've been on my game, and I'm very sure you can't.

AV Ryan

We could always make it interesting

Ronan Ryan

What are you proposing?

AV Ryan

A bet for the winner of a boxing match

Ronan Ryan

Alright, I'm in. What's the bet?

AV Ryan

Winner gets to choose the other's phone lockscreen for a month

Ronan Ryan

Deal! I'll go ahead and start looking.

When do you want to do this?

AV Ryan

I don't have shit to do so whenever

Ronan Ryan

Let's do it today, before that barbecue thing. We can use the ice water for any bruises.

AV Ryan

I heard there's a whole ass boxing ring somewhere on campus, let's do it there

Ronan Ryan

There is, it's in the gym.

You're on.

AV Ryan

Fantastic

Ronan Ryan

[ backdated ] Hey, AV! Is it cool if I give Miriam your number? She wants it.

AV Ryan

Your roommate? Yeah, I don't care

Ronan Ryan

Yup. Cool.

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Sea Kayaking is scary

the entire time I was doing it, I kept planning an escape in case it turned over.

But anyway, how was your day?

AV Ryan

But it was also a good time? Productive. But now I’m tired but at least I took care of my VA things and hopefully my benefits start rolling in again, then I won’t have to keep asking you for money. How was your day?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Yeah! It was a lot of fun.

I give you a hard time, but I don't mind AV.

I stocked up on cool ranch doritos too, so help yourself.

It was good. One of those match things hit me up.

AV Ryan

You had me at cool ranch Doritos, thanks Roe Yeah? How’d it go?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

You're welcome. How do you feel about the school so far?

It went okay. He seems nice.

AV Ryan

I don’t think my opinion has really changed since we first got here like the rooms are fine and the food is fine. I guess we’ll see how classes go once they start… you?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

No worries. I just wanted to make sure you're good. Mine's still the same too.

AV Ryan

I’m supposed to be having dinner with someone later this week. She’s someone I knew in Hawaii. Think you can help me make something?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Yeah, of course. Always. Does she have any allergies? Or is there something you had in mind to make?

AV Ryan

To be honest I don’t know and I kind of don’t want to ask? Let’s just like go with the safe options no seafood, no nuts, yada yada yada

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Alright

I got you. When do you need it by?

AV Ryan

Tomorrow, I think.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

No problem

AV Ryan

Thanks, Roe

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

[ loved this ]

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Do you want to come over for a movie later? Just us?

AV Ryan

Sure, what movie?

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Um, maybe a comedy? Step Brothers?

AV Ryan

Yeah alright. You good?

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

I'm doing great. Are you?

AV Ryan

Not great, but fine

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Do you need to talk? We can skip the movie? I'm here for you, AV. We all are.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

croc poptarts.jpg

I wonder if these actually exist

AV Ryan

The flavor looks awful

Ronan Ryan | 🔴It does

good thing it's fake!

Along with a lot of other grosser flavors.

AV Ryan

It's funny as hell though

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

It is. There was another one called Swamp with Shrek on it.

AV Ryan

I fucking love Shrek

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

I haven't seen Shrek in forever

AV Ryan

We should watch that next time.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

We should, definitely! Which movie is your favorite?

AV Ryan

Besides Love Actually? Probably Speed. That’s a classic

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

No like, which Shrek movie?

AV Ryan

Oh. The first one, definitely

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Good to know about Speed though. I haven't seen it, so maybe that's something else we could watch too.

AV Ryan

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves before their careers really took off. It’s amazing.

AUGUST

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Hey, AV. Want to go out together again, when I'm not working? I kind of miss the birds, strangely enough.

AV Ryan

Yeah whenever, you know me always free

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Cool. Did you see the new list of locations too? There's a Texas food truck

AV Ryan

Oh no I didn’t hear that. It’s like Brahma heard and answered my prayers

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

It's down at the beach, but it's going to be on campus every Friday!

AV Ryan

Well see if they serve authentic Mexican food too

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Hey, they might. Want to go check it out with me tomorrow?

AV Ryan

[backdated] Yeah, I’m down