#yay kinda proud of this one
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overgrowth and languor
[recommended you click and zoom] (alt versions below)
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#eyestrain#HI i am So kinda proud of this actually#still can't tell if it looks nice but!!!#//click and zoom piece again !! i was starting to think i had just given up on ever doing that again hvbhs#//!!!!#so happy i've finally finished it yay!!!#ik i used to average like working 2 days on a piece at one point but i was not nonstop-working on those so lol#//tried something with the background!!#and the inks!!#drew a cat which is very swag!!#the colours are a WHOLE new thing and i love colours that are yellow on the wheel but brown on the canvas!!#REALLY love the blue one (i wanted to have a night version and that's close enough :D)!!#i like the little orange painting in the background (a LOT)!!#overall i am changing my verdict and saying Yeah i AM happy with this lol#//but yeah gonna go post on artstreet now lol :3
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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“I got inspired” (Jun 11, 2023)
#archive#art#art gallery#illustration#abruh#ibispaintx#bunny#dog#snoopy#peanuts#snoopy fanart#fanart#yay#the cutest#joyous#crayon#clouds#inception#paradox#kinda#im so proud of this#one of my favorites
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phew...it costed me a while (and a tutorial in google of how draw legs) but finally! we have SMGP complete body!! and info Enjoy folks! finally we have our protagonist full builded!
SMGP's full reference without the info
#smg4#smg4 au#aus#swap au#smg4 mr puzzles#mr puzzles#smgpuzzles#info#character info#finally i could draw legs yay#kinda proud of this one if i am honest
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im done with this i guess, i dont feel to strongly abt this one. its kinda meh by my standards :P
also eye strain warning (?)
edit: OH MY FUCKING GOD I FORGOT TO RENDER THE GLASS IM GONNA- IM GONNA FREAK
#art#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#mrbugsart#not too proud of this one#its okay i guess#mother raised me to do better though#maybe i'll redo this one#idk#it's kinda meh#oh also experimenting with the wings#also finally got a somewhat solid helmet and hall design now yay!
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Guess we doin phones now
More of the actual story + lore stuff under this thing
His full name is Callie Halden. For now
He mentioned in an offhand comment to his aunt at 16 that he wanted a job, so she decided to have him start running errands for her. Eventually said aunt told some friends who had their own stores about him, so he started running errands for them as well. Word spreads and now at 22 he does this for half the people in town. Unofficial postal service, glorified errand boy
Fucking HATES it, but it's good cardio and a lot of the people in town rely on him to deliver stuff. He originally tried to keep it pretty cheap because it was just a summer job, but he stayed and it stuck and now he's paid a miserable $3.50 for every package/thing delivered
He's ended up becoming a pretty good long distance sprinter so he can earn as much as possible
Bc he needs to be as fast as possible for his job, he's become pretty impatient. DESPITE the need to make things fast, he goes out of his way to take routes that he knows will have the most cats on them, even if they take longer
Likes collecting phone charms to add to his head. He switches them out like every other day, and he likes it the most when they jingle as obnoxiously as possible (he doesn't register that it's obnoxious, he thinks that it sounds nice. Everyone else HATES it)
Relations: I think he would be friends with Oliver but like. Who wouldn't? Anyways. He feels a kind of kinship with Randy (crappy jobs, being underpaid and overworked, just general suckyness), (OBVIOUSLY Randy has it so much worse, but yk), but he also kind of can't stand him. Callie constantly tries to convince him that it's all in his head and he needs to be more positive, but he's a dick about it. Like he's trying to be nice but it comes off as forceful and nasty
He's related to Little Billy. (2nd cousins, he has to see him at family events and around town. He pretends not to know him bc Billy is actually the worst) He would bond with Phonegingi over Little Billy hatred and find that he actually likes him if he could get past the whole nipple thing ("Eugh, who the FUCK has that many nipples?")
If he were actually in the game, you'd just see him running around in the background every once in a while
He would main dualies in splatoon btw
If he had a leitmotif, it would sound kind of like (...) Mr. Boy Is On the Roof Again but not exactly
He's actually a MEOWTEROLA and not a MOTOROLA. He got that changed
#is this cringe. i dont care#id in alt text btw#lmk if i missed anything or if i should change anything in it#dialtown#dialtown oc#artbin#this is a little bit rough but yay!! yay#the colors look different on my drawing tablet and i couldnt tell you why#SPEAKING of which. it broke halfway through drawing this#i had to scramble to figure out how to save this drawing and export it to my phone#but i did it! its saved#anyways if he was an animal he would be an american marten. hence the american marten#ignore the shading being kinda janky. this was just to show HIM and not necessarily my clearly awesome understanding of color and light#I FORGOT THE PHONE CHARMS. whoops#NOT a sona btw. i still gotta draw my dialsona. this is not her#i HATE drawing phones apparently. its deceptively difficult to make them look nice#pretty proud of how i shaded this one though
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@as-snugasabutch and everyone else too i guess dw dream au document has reached over 10k words...................
#actually kinda proud of myself for that one hehe#i think i need to focus more on writing Scenes and string them together later and not get stuck on 'but what are they doing in the meantime#but yeah. yay!#some of it is just planning and ideas but yknow#10k is kinda a lot!#probably more than i've written for any one project before#:D
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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Some self-indulgent art of my OC Jan talking to Alastor. ✨
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel ocs#hazbin hotel oc#hazbin oc#hazbin ocs#fan art#fan fiction#fan fic#alastor#proud of myself for this one#the background took like 2 weeks of free time to finish#kinda gave up on shading and lighting but not bad for only my second attempt at drawing the silly deer man#focused less on making him look just like the reference and just went for it#i've never successfully drawn anything at that slanted angle either so yay!#also lol she's so comically short compared to him#not quite niffty short but still
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A Fate Manufactured
While under the beloved gods of man, I selfishly made a plea to Vega, Antares, Sirius, and to great Lord Jupiter himself (as those who have watched for countless eons over our world, once dormant, as it roused from its slumber). I called upon such high beings as these to guide me, to provide a tell-tale sign, an omen to solve man's oldest question: the path on which I tread— is it for me? But then, I remembered the myriad of signs sent when my heart truly wavered. Perhaps the universe has taken care of me, alas, in its own quiet way. When I was younger and lost to despair, I needed those signs or gave in to fear. But now I smile, no longer needing a falling star to guide me 'til sunrise.
Gods, both archaic and newborn, be damned. My very blood marks the genesis of a fate manufactured, a destiny manifested through my two hands alone.
#ooc;;grh—{my blood is the genesis of worlds.}#//hot off the press#//I was mad so I wrote a blank verse poem#//now I'm not mad yay#//I promise I'll do the inbox call tomorrow!#//school kinda sucked for me today#//idec I’ll like my own poetry I’m proud of this one
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can it be called lazy breakfast if its 1pm and i have been awake for 12 hours orrrrr
#maybe its more of a lunch? brunch?? since its lunch time but im eating breakfast items#anyways its agdq time and little bit of food to keep me content and then we try to write today#got a lot of personal stuff i wanna get done hmm#one thing i have done this year so far tbh is that ive been writing a lot more for just myself. stuff that i wanna do and never post#theres at least two fics ive only shared with one person and that probably wont see the light of day any time soon if ever#and im probably gonna write another one of those today#im kinda proud of that. i mean i try not to take pressure in making anything and posting shit and so far its working#lets just hope it carries further too#tho i should probably try to get something publishable worked on too. i have few longer wips waiting to be continued#maybe i'll poll this later. idk. we'll see#anyways i didnt mean to ramble about this i have food to eat lmao#night is an absolute mess on main#OH i do actually have something i can post after i rewrite and edit it a bit!#so gonna try to do that today yay :)
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WIP
#fits#ayame higuchi#fog in the summertime#demon slayer#fujiko#fanart#my dabbling to poster-like art#im not necessarily great at proportions and composition#im hyperfixating again#and anxious#we love that time of the month#BUT thats why i have my comfort babies ayame and fujiko#im surprised i came back to this the next day as im not great at finishing WIPs#well wips that are bigger and that i dont finish in like that one day i started#ooh u know what i have noticed and am proud of? that i dont have a billion layers open 😊#im so much neater now yay#anways after i finish fujiko im kinda stuck on what to add to this peice…im open for suggestions#like i was thinking tanjirou and the squad around ayame at first#then kyojorou#then the hashira squad#…..i basically wanted Ayame in either of thos three but decided on fujiko#…ok ima stop because whoa is this getting long and boring sorry soryy
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Last of their kind
Summary: what it's like to be the last of your kind
Word count: 799
Characters: naga!Janus
Trigger warnings: dead, implied death, and a corpse (not described in detail)
Notes: this is inspired by a rp i have with @lost-in-thought-20
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It wasn’t easy being the last of your kind. A few stages were involved, each more miserable than the next, and each making you feel more isolated.
The first stage started with hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t alone. That there were others who knew what it was like to be just like you. Who shared some of the same struggles, and whose existence would bring comfort, if only you could find them. That hope was supposed to keep you from falling into the pit of despair. It would give you the drive to go on a journey in search of people like you.
Unfortunately, this hope was also the road right to that same pit, where one would balance on the ridge until they would inevitably fall in. Because nothing was more gut-wrenching than going on a journey with hope, only to have it crushed when you realize that you truly were the only one.
You could find traces of your kind, from ruins to books to skeletal structures, but none of them helped alleviate the pain. In fact, they made it worse. Knowing they had been right there, right where you were right now, and yet, they were gone. And you were still here.
Janus had long given up on having hope of finding others like him. He’d fallen into the pit and wasn’t planning on getting out. After all, what was the point anyways? This would be a fitting end. The last naga would die alone, surrounded by the memories of his ancestors before him.
The ruins that had once been a village were the last place he’d visited. Surrounded by trees, close to the mountain range, they would have been safe there. There should have been at least some nagas there, but there weren’t. The place was empty and covered in dust. Clearly it had been abandoned for many years. Still, Janus had searched around, looked in every nook and cranny. If he could find something, find anything that could just tell him where they went, it would be alright. But there wasn’t.
He found an egg, though. A naga egg. And maybe it had been foolish to think that anything could still hatch from it after all this time, but Janus had been desperate. This was the last thing he had. So he clung to it, and tried to nurture it. He’d picked a random house in the village, and every night, he would lay in bed, tail curled around the egg. Whispering to it that it would be okay. That it could come out because he was right there to take care of them. That it was safe now.
It stayed like that for weeks, but there was no sign of life from it. Thinking that maybe it struggled to get through the outer shell of the egg, Janus decided to help it. He carefully peeled it open, piece by piece. Still, no movement. He wasn’t ready to accept the truth yet. He couldn’t. So, he would carry the fetus to his bed at night, hoping that if he warmed it up with his body temperature, it might come back to life.
When he finally realized it didn’t, and never would, the devastation set in. He buried the fetus in the backyard, to put them to rest, before starting the mourning stage.
The grief alone had nearly killed him. It had grabbed him by his throat and yanked his heart out of his chest before tearing it to shreds in front of him. His people, gone. Wiped away like they had never been there in the first place, ready to be forgotten. His screams of anguish continuously traveled throughout the forest until his voice was too hoarse to go on.
And that was where he ended up now. Leaning against the bed in his room, unable to move, unable to continue. It was strange to think that the catalyst that led him down this path was one singular book. Had he not been curious, and read about his people, perhaps this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have known about his people, but he could’ve been happy anyways. He could’ve lived among humans, ones who cared about him, at least. But instead, he’d let this quest of finding other nagas take over his life, and he’d left everyone behind. Perhaps that was for the better, too. Soft skin and serrated scales didn’t mesh well. His torso being that of a human wouldn’t make them accept him more. It would only make him stand out.
He should count himself lucky, for being allowed to die here. After all this time, after all this suffering and sorrow, he would finally find his people.
And he knew they would welcome him with open arms.
#endy-fanfic#sanders sides fanfic#tss janus#ts janus#janus sanders#sanders sides#ts janus angst#tw death#tw death mention#fanfic#what happened to the other nagas that Janus has been searching for? idk! You imagine (:#something horrific i think#anyways yay i wrote a fanfic again!#even though it's kinda short#but i wrote it in one go and i am proud of it#even used some fancy words#naga!Janus
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PROGRESS
Still unfinished but going strong
#traditional art#artists on tumblr#hehe :3#i'm tryin my best#art wip#art#acrylic#wait this is cute#omg#yipeeee#trust the process#i'm kinda proud of this one#god i'm tired#yay#:3
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Btw I see you in all the little things lmao. Sorry lol
#not directed at anyone#Just a thought we had whilst eating pizza hut n we went and got cherry Pepsi and then thought#“one of our friends like cherry Pepsi! Yay! =D” and then it was much more enjoyable#kinda embarrassing how excited we get over seeing anything that reminds us of our friends#I just love them all so much and I'm so glad that we are friends with these people#and I want to tell them that and how very proud we are of them#But I think we would actually explode!! Lmao#very embarrassing#Not very good at sappy stuff like that
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hair
would you be mad
if i told you i had changed
i look in the mirror and i cant recognise
myself
i cut my hair the other day
ive been scared to tell you
youve been saying you were proud of me
would you take that back?
i was so upset
every time it would touch my shoulder
it felt so wrong
so when i had a shower that day
i used your scissors
and cut my hair
would you still recognise me
in the mirror
if i showed you who i had changed to be?
#ew vulnerability#so uhh yay physical dysphoria#whats that lyric ?#sometimes i dont recognise my face#yeah#so yeah my dad told me he was proud of me and i was doing well and then 2 days later i cried alone at 1am and used the bathroom scissors#to give myslef a noticeable haircut#key word: noticeable#so i hid my hair in a bandana/headband thing for 2 weeks straight#until my gran gave me a proper undercut#and said she wouldnt tell my parents#this one is kinda trans though#gender#and stress#definitely#this one also has a sequel that is much happier i will admit#poetry
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