#yapper alert (its me)

[cowardlybean]

ok I have a question

this is based on a dream I had but I feel like I don’t have enough of an understanding of mob as a person bc I haven’t watched s3 ( I don’t care about spoilers it’s gonna be awhile before I can anyway)

do you think in an apocalypse where there are zombies who are still conscious but not in control of their body’s (and mob is aware of this) do you think mob would hurt/kill them? side question what do you think reigens thoughts on this would be? And do you thing reigen would convince mob to hurt/ kill these zombies?

funny story I've played with this idea here and there :3 BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION

Mob would not kill zombies. In my opinion, he probably still wouldn't even if they weren't conscious and were just reanimated corpses. Why?

Mob has a lot of empathy, which is. Pretty obvious based on how he's willing to give so many people second chances, but it also applies to docile spirits and animals (think of the cat in Mogamiland). I'm certain that he'd want to treat a person right after death if we're to assume zombies are already corpses. And if they have a dormant consciousness? Yeah, Mobs not going to lay a finger on them.

As for Reigen, he's far more willing to deal some damage for the sake of his (and Mob, Ritsu, Tome, Teru, etc etc you get the idea) survival. If there's some confirmation that there's no cure he might start telling Mob to separate the zombie's soul from its body to free it, but Reigen's not an expert. Also, I doubt Reigen would intentionally kill a zombie if they're conscious in there, but he's willing to do what it takes to prevent kids from getting hurt.

bonus of me thinking about zombie apocalypse groups.

template (ignore how i cropped out the bottom half. i got lazy on that part)

Shou, Dimple and Ritsu bc Ritsu has. a past with Dimple and trusts Shou more, Tome, Serizawa and Teru bc Seri is an ex-claw member and that puts Teru on edge while Tome trusts Seri completely, and I think Mob, Reigen and Minori is obvious.

[monoem]

Hihihi I saw this and wanted to add my own opinion to what Silas is saying, since I felt like some stuff might need a second opinion.

If you think constructive criticism on how to handle a harmless awards thing is, taking it "WAY too seriously", that can say a lot. This isn't meant to be an insult, but if you compare a small community like JWCC/CT to a massive one like K-pop, you're gonna get widely different responses to 'popularity contests'.

You say that it shouldn't be taken too seriously because it's just words and a png, and while that should probably be the case - you don't acknowledge the younger, and smaller creators that might find these awards to be pretty encouraging. This is a fandom around a kids show, and many people forget that kids interact with this. Nothing wrong with keeping yourself in adult circles, but it shouldn't be forgotten how starry-eyed kids can get at the idea of being recognised and not getting that png of a star. (Screw you Mr. Munday I deserved that gold sticker for my maths work)

I think you brushed past the multiple voting section of Sparks criticism too quickly. "Shit happens", sure, of course it does! That excuse can be used for a YouTubers fan base attacking someone, even if they advise against it. But when the option to make it a one vote form was available, it seems like a massive oversight. No hate to Salem on this! I get it, forms like these can be hard to manage, but there should've been some preparation before starting this award.

You can try and have faith in the fandom all you want, I know I do, but you can never be too sure about that stuff. There are people out here shipping a queer woman with a white man, and people denouncing the sapphic couple, I think it's safe to be weary of SOME bad apples.

Now for the main issue that I guess seems to have caused this (?), the topic of rarepairs and just oc x canon. Rarepairs are canon x canon, and aren't oc x canon in my opinion. I don't see my oc x canon ships as rare pairs, and if I did hell I'd be the mayor of rarepairville because I haven't shown anyone them before! /Lh.

Also I think you might've gotten rarepairs and crackships confused. I was aware of all this Elsa x Jack nonsense, and I can tell you those were not at ALL unpopular. That's what makes a rarepair, it needs to be really unpopular. Crackships definitely can fall under the rarepair term, but they are not a good example for this.

We could be here all day debating on our opinions, because really that's all they are! You see them as rarepairs and I don't, that's the joy of freewill in the human race, and we should cherish it. (I use debating, not arguing, because we're just talking things out).

We can all look at this and hopefully move past it, and in the future if another awards happens or something, we can add oc x canon in a separate category!

It may not be serious, but you don't know a person's thoughts about these until you ask them. It's not serious to me, I've been in fandom spaces for almost half my life; but to a new person it could mean the entire world to them - and those are mostly kids. And if it's anything, it's our responsibility as adults to be nice to them. Young kids or older kids, it doesn't matter.

Telling people to "sit back" because they're unhappy isn't good advice. If you take into account what I said about kids being the ones to take this seriously, they aren't thinking about what people are losing in these awards. A shout-out can boost a small creator MASSIVELY. YouTube is a massive example of that being true.

That's my two cents on it, thanks for reading my think piece.

CC/CT Tumblr Awards Final Results

Thank you all for participating in the awards. These awards were created as a way for the fandom to have fun and interact with creators that they may not have seen before, while also giving thanks to all creators in this fandom. Whether you write, draw, edit or create headcanons and memes for all to enjoy you are a vital part of the camp cretaceous/chaos theory fandom and the fandom would be much duller without you. Whether you have received an award or not you are a truly valued member of this community.

The winner of each award will be announced in the reblogs of this post.

[snowblossomreads]

Day 18 - Secret Visitor

Pairing(s)/Character(s): Severus Snape x Fem!Reader

Summary: In where a secret visitor interrupts Severus thoughts with a secret of their own.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): Just general angst and worry from Snape's end.

A/N: Eee it's our baby bat baby once more!! Writing for Snape is a challenge bc he isn't a yapper. But the challenge is also fun because it's him and it makes me happy to make him happy 😭😭 He deserves happiness (she repeats to this to all alan characters)

This war, the students, the Potter boy, and even a dead man whose portrait hung on the wall, its owner sleeping peacefully while he had not slept well in some time. All of it was taking a toll on Severus. Draining his very life force, as he did his best to keep the rebelling students safe from the Death Eaters that taught and roamed around the school. 

Yet they rebelled still, doing foolish things purposefully to show their distaste for him, and the allies of the Dark Lord that had overrun their school. Those dunderheads. If only they knew. 

No.

No, no, no. No one could know what he had been doing these past years. Not only would it put everything he had done in jeopardy, but he would very likely lose his life over it. And Merlin knows Potter needed all the help he could get.

But he was so tired. Exhausted, even if the holidays were around the corner there was nothing merry to be about. How could there be when the world was on the brink of a war between muggles and wizards, one that the nonmagical community had no idea was brewing?

His thoughts about these things swirled in the hazy cloud of his mind, as he sat in front of one of the tall windows in the headmaster's quarters. Sleep had evaded him again tonight, and he had resigned himself to another sleepless night as he looked over the snow-covered grounds of the school. The world outside was silent and still as the cold December moon illuminated the grounds. It was so peaceful, like it was unaware of the perils that were attempting to erupt to the surface. 

However, the peacefulness was suddenly broken when a loud creaking right outside his chamber door had Severus stiffing, suddenly on high alert as he whipped his head around to the door.

"Who's there," Severus hissed quietly, his hand snatching his wand off the table beside him as he stood up with haste, almost knocking over the chair he had been sitting in with how fast he had gotten up. 

Silence was his only answer as he stared at the door apprehensively. Maybe it was just the old building shifting. It was hundreds of years old. But no, no someone was here, he could feel it. The question was who had broken through the charms and wards he had put in the office that would alert him if someone was near?

Taking a step closer to the towards the door, his wand pointed at it, he called out once more,

"Reveal yourself to me now unless you wish to be made an example in front of the rest of the school for breaking into your headmaster's office!" 

"You wouldn't do that to me though would you?"

His eyes widened just slightly at the response from this secret visitor. That voice! It couldn't be!

Lowering his wand immediately, Severus glided over to the door, unlocking all the bolts on it and swinging it open only to have it reveal the one person whom he could trust, dressed in a dark cloak with a hood. But those eyes of hers, and that smile. No one could replicate that. Yet what should bring him joy, only brought more anxiety.

"[Y/n]!" He hissed, shooting his hand out and dragging her in the room, shutting the door behind him as he quickly muttered a soundproofing spell before whipping around to the woman. His gaze was fiery as they settled on hers that were cool and collected which did little to calm him. "What are you doing here are you mad! If anyone sees you-."

"No one has seen me or will see me, Severus," she interrupted pulling the hood down and standing in front of him with a calm expression that only partly assuaged his worry. "Did you forget that your wife is an expert at evading detection charms and wards? So much so that even that stupid map could never find where I was." 

"Of course not but this is war," Severus pointed out as if she needed a reminder of what was happening in their world. 

She was very much aware of his role from the double agent to the promise to keep that Potter boy safe. But she was his wife and damnit she needed to see him! It had been just after the school year started when they last met, and to be away from him for so long hurt, but she understood the consequences if they were caught she did. But it had been so long and…she needed to tell him. 

"If anyone even thinks there is someone who I love as much as I do you, they will use you. And I cannot bear that thought [Y/n]." He pleaded, his emotions laid bare for her. The only person he could trust to be like this with. "Please we can't be seen together not now."

"And we won't! I promise my love," she whispered as she went to him, "it's been months Severus, months. I was so looking forward to seeing you during the break. And then you send me a note saying that you're not going to come back for Christmas! What do you expect me to do?" 

"To wait and do as I say! To stay hidden and safe [Y/n]!"

"But this thing can't wait any longer!"

"And what is so important that you would endanger yourself to tell me!"

"I'm pregnant!" 

He’d never been so glad to have put that soundproof ward on the room. 

Oynx eyes widened at her words, and any of the thoughts he had about scolding her about the dangerous risk, they fell away even if he knew he should be scolding her more. Yet, all he could think about was what she had just said to him. Yet it still didn't process.

She was what?

"What?"

Confusion was evident in his eyes, and [Y/n] let out a sigh, before she began to undo the cloak that she wore which he now noticed was quite large on her. And when she finally opened it revealing the front of herself to him, his world felt as if his world both stopped, yet brightened at the same time.

It wasn't large by any means, but he could see a bump under the dress she had worn. She couldn't have been too far along either considering the last time they had seen each other but still, here it was.

Evidence that he could see even if he didn't need it really.

"I-I didn't want to send a note about it because I was worried about it being intercepted and I so wanted to tell you in person," she explained as she looked down at her stomach, her hand going to rest on the small bump. "I was going to tell you when you came for Christmas, but then you sent that letter saying you weren't so instead I came to see you."

"[Y/n]," he murmured, approaching her with care as she looked up at him with a watery smile, and his slow strides became quicker, eager to be next to her and be her comforter. 

"You're going to be a Pa Sev," she whispered looking up to him, "I'm sorry I know it's dangerous and maybe foolish of me but I needed you to know," [Y/n] continued as she closed the space between him and her. "Wanted you to know that at the end of this, we're going to be waiting for you so don't give up Severus."

He had always loathed people who wore their emotions on their sleeves. Nothing good could ever come out of that because people were people, and emotions were easy to manipulate. There was pride in making everyone guess what he was thinking, always maintaining that scowl that made people avoid him but tonight he couldn't hold that up.

Not in front of his beloved wife, and his future child, not with how exhausted he was. No, so he did what he hated, and he let out a shaky sigh, gathering his wife in a hug trying to ignore the warm tears that escaped his eyes as he kissed her softly on top of her head.

"I do so love you [Y/n] Snape," his voice muffled as he spoke into her hair.

"And I you, Severus," she answered without hesitation as she nuzzled herself against him. "And for the record, I didn't come through the front door," she whispered as she held onto her husband who needed some comfort. Comfort she was happy to give to him "I was able to connect to the Floo network in an abandoned storage room near the potions classroom since no one ever goes there anymore so no one thought to check to see if it was closed off." 

His lips twitched upwards at her words and he squeezed her tightly.

"That's my clever girl."

This war, it would end someday. He was sure of it as the Potter boy was persistent if nothing else. Whether Severus would survive it or not was unknown, he hoped so. 

For all his life he had very little to live for, only allowing himself to keep that child safe after his promise. But then he had met [Y/n] who made him want to live for other things, and now he was to be a father. He had so many things to live for now, and he would do everything he could to make it through for his little family. 

No matter the cost.

A/N: Papa Snape 😭😭😭😭😭. I know fatherhood probably freaks him tf out but i know he be a great dad.

[john-the-fool]

We don't play with the Odds, We play the Man

Good day everyone to those who may read it, it's me again with my another episode of entrepreneurial journey. Have you watched the series "Suits"?, well the title of this blog was the most iconic line for me that came from the series and it was also said by my favorite character, Harvey Specter. As you may have speculated about what does this means but still I will say it loud since I'm kind of a yapper person. It encapulates a philosophy of leveraging individual human factors rather than relying solely on statistical probabilities or chances.In contexts ranging from sports to business and beyond, It acknowledges that success often hinges on understanding and effectively managing the human variables involved, thereby enhancing the chances of achieving favorable outcomes through tailored strategies and informed decision-making. Well, let's proceed with our main context of our blog before it gets too long.

We conducted a survey through Google Form in order for us, the entrepreneurs, to validate our startup plan with our target customer, CBM-CMU students. With a few days, A favorable amount of students have responded with our conducted survey, and surprisingly the results was good enough for this startup plan to succeed. Though, it would be best to note that the survey alone doesn't mean a guaranteed success but still it will be complemented with the process of implementing the business like addressing the some problem of our target customer for startup plan. CMU-CBM has consistently been our preferred option market for cultivating customer loyalty to our services. Despite its limitations in scope, our deep understanding of CMU-CBM's demographics and their issues sets us apart. This is why our wifi vending machines will soon be available. The results from our Gform show overwhelming support for our vending machine, although 20 respondents don't guarantee profit. This is where our future efforts will focus, and I am personally committed to making our wifi vending machine business successful. We are continually seeking ways to enhance our business. Wifi vending machines are rare, prompting the question from our BMC panelist: "What makes us different or unique compared to other wifi vending machines?" Immediately, one of my groupmats answered the MAD concept from our previous lessons and applied it directly to our proposed business. We identified connectivity, a voucher system, and notification alerts for connection ends as crucial areas needing improvement to build trust and loyalty. BMC has been instrumental in helping us discover additional ways to consistently stay relevant in the market.

Through this activity, we learned so many things as always that's will help us out when we started to pursue the business field of career. Conducting a business will never be an easy endeavor as it may seems since there's a lot of factor you need to consider like how will your business flourish in a competitive market, how you will make it succeed and etc. To end thi blog, I wil just say again the title " Don't play with the odds, we play the Man".

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

Two parts, one day- Two Jay's Thoughts: Extended Cut, one day- LETS GO!!

We learn a two things:

Juno probably isn't one to often remember his dreams

Nureyev has insomnia

"Juno trusted him" which is VASTLY different than the Juno we know from canon, who did not trust Rex Glass, who did not want to trust Peter Nureyev, who had to trust Duke Rose.

We learn some more things:

Buddy (as has been established) is a heavy drinker, possibly alcoholic. (I will be characterizing her as one, mark my words)

Jet is at the bar, and he works as a bouncer. Which makes sense. He is "The Big Guy".

Bud calls on Jet when things are dire. So she trusts him.

And Jet has experience handling shipments and pirates. This I think is a fun detail because I had to reread the Tools of Rust transcript for a quote and M'Tendere mentions that Jet was a smuggler during the War.

"wore her heart and its many thoughts on her sleeve like a badge of honor for her humanity" IT IS ABOUT THE HUMANITY!! IT'S ABOUT TRUST!!! AND LOVE!!

also we learn that Rita is an ugly crier. nice. (same girlie pop, same)

"Juno had known her for years, and she had never stopped talking once." PRO YAPPER ALERT!! but seriously, when the bubbly best friend goes quiet and things turn dark for them, shit has hit the fan. repeat: shit has hit the fan!!

Rita drinks milk. I- as a lactose intolerant boy, tummy ache girlie- can't relate. smh.

Buddy croaking = my hc that she is surprised she even remembers what a frog's croak is anymore. winter has been here so long...

"Rita, look at me. Rita. DAMMIT, I need you to tell me what happened to him." oooooooOOOOOO- Juno's scared. he's on edge here. hackles raised. his heart has already dropped to ground, already in his feet. he knows what's coming. he doesn't want to hear it. he has to. (on a personal note: my cat got seriously sick 3 years ago, my parents were driving home early from their vacation to deal with it, and the whole time i was waiting for them to come home, my heart was in my feet. on the ground. I told my partner at the time "they're not telling me something" and sure enough- he was gone. i already knew what was coming, already knew the truth, i just didn't want to hear it.)

RAGHHHHH- I FORGOR THAT HE DESCRIBED ALL THAT- "And then he realized. He knew that expression. It was nearly second nature to him. He had seen it every morning on his own face in the mirror after Benten had- And then he knew." FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

"No. No it can't-" Denial.

LADIES AND GENTS AND ALL- WE'VE REACHED WAIT FOR ME!!!!!!

"Rita said he called your name." = "She called your name before she went"

"And Juno didn't even hear him. He hadn't been paying attention. How long had he been calling? How long had Juno been ignoring him?" = "But I guess you weren't listening"

"He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so horrible about himself." juno didn't feel like shit all the time with Nureyev, he was motivated to fix spring because of Nureyev. augggggh- writing about juno's depression will never not be cathartic for me in some way

"before a different wave of feeling crept over him" ANGER.

"He was going to get his husband back if it was the last thing he ever did." has me thinking about Olivia Rodrigo "i wanna get him back" lol

"Jet nodded sagely. [he doesn't WANT to tell Juno anything about this] "This is true. I walked that road with a friend of mine years ago, trying to save people from unwise decisions.'" [FRIEND?? WHAT FRIEND JET??]] (i know who, you know who Zeph, no one else does and they'll just have to wait and see lol)

"Buddy looked at Juno again, an odd kind of hollow despair marking her face, like she saw something in Juno's set jaw and bright eyes that made her want to disappear. [oh- oh Bud- Zeph you almost make me feel guilty for the things I'm going to do to her. almost.] "I know what you're thinking, Juno, and it won't work. I've tried. Believe me.'" [ALMOST.]

"There was a defiant flame rising in him now, melting the shards of his broken heart back into a semblance of hope." This line takes on a whole new meaning after the discussion we had earlier today lol. smth smth tho- about the shards of his heart reminding me again of Glass but also for some reason the Chimes? From Freedom in Chains?

"How far are you willing to go for your husband?'" = "Just how far would you go for her?"

"'To the ends of the fucking earth.'" = "To the end of time/ To the end of the earth" FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK (also again with the fire, "The flame grew into a wildfire." eheh- ahahahhaahha- stg you silly kids are going to hate me for what I'm cooking, Zeph is biting me it's that evil.) (also also, "Wait for Me" is one of my favorites. so fucking good. so lovesick. so fucked. so doomed by the narrative.)

JET ON GOD BROTHER- "'Very well then. Pack your things. I will take you to where the road to Hadestown begins. If you are going to make stupid choices, I will at least make sure you can begin making them safely.'" </3 hits harder and harder (again) knowing what I have planned

and BUDDY BABE!! She's walked that road Juno, she's tried, and failed! she- YEAH EXACTLY JET!! "'And yet you took the same course of action all those years ago, Buddy. What does that say about you?'" IT'S HER TRAUMA!! IT'S HER FEAR!! HER COPING!! SHE FOUND THIS FAMILY AND STITCHED IT TOGETHER AND SHE CAN'T LOSE ANYMORE, NOT ANYMORE, PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER ONLY REMAINING FAMILY AWAY!!

Juno the deer in the headlights- Buddy bitter and resentful for ~mysterious reasons~- Jet stern, yet passing minimal judgment on Juno but heavier judgment on Buddy- AND RITA!! the bestest bestie of best friends RITA!! can't go leaving her out, or leaving her behind!

"'Wait for me, Mista Steel! I'm comin' too!'" = "Wait for me, I'm coming/ Wait, I'm coming with you" FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK- this hurts me so much to have Rita being the one begging for Juno to wait, wait for her, she's coming with you. i love that you gave her this line. it fits. it works.

"Hang on, Nureyev. Just a little longer." PODCAST REFERENCE!! can't be bothered to find the episode it's from but I know it's from the podcast i would know that juno-ism anywhere (and if it's not a quote, then damn!!! you got me fooled)

"He was getting his husband back. At any cost." :) :)) ::))))

SONG FOR A CAGED LOVEBIRD: PART 9 (?)

i've lost track by now ngl. we're at over 9,000 words so i get a pass. this part is. ouchie central. so i am expecting a lot of people yelling at me in the comments and tags. this is fun for me.

LETS GO TPP CREW, ROUNDING THE CORNER WITH MY TPP CREW: @smidgen-of-hotboy @ceaseless-watchers-special-girl @urjover @one-joe-spoopy @waters-and-the-wilde @demonic-panini (@the-private-eye i'm tagging you too bc i can :))

The silence was what finally woke him.

Juno had been solidly asleep, dreaming about things he couldn’t quite remember but that made his stomach twist. When he finally opened his eyes, the room was abnormally quiet. No rain, barely any wind, and… he rolled over to check. Nureyev wasn’t next to him in bed. That was not entirely out of the ordinary, as his insomnia often took him on long walks through the woods as he tried to find sleep, but this morning it set his teeth on edge. Something about it felt…  wrong. Like he had walked out of the door for the last time, and would never come back. 

Juno shook the thought away. It was a ridiculous notion. He loved him too much to let that happen. If Nureyev was having trouble, or looking to leave, he would have told him. Juno trusted him.

He dressed and washed his face and walked downstairs to grab some breakfast before starting to get the bar together for opening. Hopefully, the rest of the day would pass without incident, and he could chalk this nauseous, nervous feeling up to a nightmare that he couldn’t quite remember.

It was what he saw at the bar while half-way down the stairs that really made him feel sick to his stomach.

Buddy was leaned over a half-empty bottle of whisky, rubbing the bridge of her nose, tear tracks shiny on her face. That bottle had been full when he had replaced it on the shelf last night. She never drank this early in the morning, and never that much. Always said it made her unfit to serve the public or interact with any decent human being. Jet, the man she had employed as a bar bouncer when times were better, was standing next to her, a large hand on her shoulder. He was crying too. Buddy only called him when things were drastic, like when their latest whiskey shipment had been stolen by pirates on its way to the bar.

And then there was Rita.

Rita, who wore her heart and its many thoughts on her sleeve like a badge of honor for her humanity, was nearly silent. She was snot-nosed and puffy-eyed, like she had been crying for hours, and said absolutely nothing outside of the occasional sniffle and a quiet request for Jet to grab her a glass of milk from the kitchen.

Juno thought he might hurl right there on the stairs. A silent Rita was new. Juno had known her for years, and she had never stopped talking once.

What the hell had happened?

He cautiously came down the rest of the stairs and approached the bar. Buddy looked up at his approach and tried to wipe some of the tears from her face just as Jet returned from the kitchen with the milk for Rita. “Good morning, Juno.”

“Hey, big guy,” Juno responded, nodding in Jet’s direction before looking at each one of the weeping figures in turn. “What happened? You guys look like hell. Did we get another snowstorm in the middle of the night or something?”

The three of them exchanged a look that Juno couldn’t quite decipher before Buddy answered.

“I think Rita can answer that question better than Jet or I can,” she croaked before downing another swig of whisky.

Juno turned to Rita and reached out to wipe a stray hair out of her face. “Hey, Rita, what happened? It’s okay, it can’t be that bad, right?”

At that, Rita burst into tears again. “It is, it really is that bad, Mista Steel! You don’t get it! It’s the worst thing! It’s about Mista Nureyev!”

Juno’s heart dropped through the floor the second she said his name. “Rita. Rita, look at me. Rita. DAMMIT, I need you to tell me what happened to him.”

Rita looked at him then, with such a look of despair and heartbreak on her face that Juno’s heart ached for her. And then he realized. He knew that expression. It was nearly second nature to him. He had seen it every morning on his own face in the mirror after Benten had-

And then he knew.

He breathed in, breathed out. Took a step back. The floor was spinning. He dropped to his knees. “No. No it can’t- no, no, no, no, this can’t be right, Nureyev can’t be…”

Rita nodded, tears still flowing steadily down her face as she clambered off the bar stool to hug Juno. “He came back after dark last night, and I thought he was actin’ real sketchy, so I watched him for a while, and then when the sun started comin’ up, he packed up some stuff and left, but I followed him, only he didn’t know, ‘cause I acted real sneaky-like, and he went to a train station that I’m pretty sure wasn’t there before, and he met these big, creepy guys, and they gave him paypawork to sign, ‘cause I think they were makin’ some kinda deal, and once Mista Nureyev signed it, he fell down and started coughin’, and then one of the big guys said somethin’ about not havin’ enough time to wait for him to die, and then the otha one pulled out a huuuuuge knife, and then he- then he-”

She burst into sobs again on Juno’s shoulder. His ears were ringing and he knew his face was deathly pale. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

Buddy looked at him hollowly from the bar. “Rita said he called your name. It was the last thing he did before he… before they loaded his body up onto a train and left.”

‘He called your name. It was the last thing he did before he died.’ And Juno didn’t even hear him. He hadn’t been paying attention. How long had he been calling? How long had Juno been ignoring him? Why was he only now hearing his echo instead of his voice? How pathetic was he, that he prioritized a fucking song over his husband? What was wrong with him? But of course, as soon as he realized his problem, it was already too late to solve it. 

He never got to say goodbye.

Dimly, Juno realized he was shivering and tears were flowing down his face and Rita was apologizing profusely that she didn’t do anything to try and save him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so horrible about himself. 

Now, it was all over. He’d lost him forever, and it was all his fault.

He would never get to see Peter Nureyev again.

He sat there, curled up on the floor for a moment longer before a different wave of feeling crept over him.

No.

No.

This was not the end. He wouldn’t let it be the end.

He was going to get his husband back if it was the last thing he ever did.

He sat up, wiped the tears from his face, and grabbed Rita by the shoulders, lightly shaking her out of her self-deprecating ramble.

“Rita. Rita, look at me. I need you to tell me everything you know about the Underworld. It’s important. Really important.”

“Well,” Rita sniffled, wiping her face on the sleeves of her sky blue sweater, “I heard a while back about there bein’ a back door. A way to get in without havin’ to actually, ya know, die or somethin’.”

Jet nodded sagely. “This is true. I walked that road with a friend of mine years ago, trying to save people from unwise decisions.”

“It’s not easy though, Mista Steel. The road is reeeeeaaaaally long and difficult, and with the weatha bein’ the way is it, you could get caught in a storm and get hurt, and I don’t want you to get hurt, Mista Steel!!”

Buddy looked at Juno again, an odd kind of hollow despair marking her face, like she saw something in Juno’s set jaw and bright eyes that made her want to disappear. “I know what you’re thinking, Juno, and it won’t work. I’ve tried. Believe me.”

“I’m not going to give up on him this easily.” There was a defiant flame rising in him now, melting the shards of his broken heart back into a semblance of hope. “I can get him back. I know I can.”

Jet walked over from his perch next to Buddy and crouched on the floor next to Juno. “Rita is right, Juno. The road to Hadestown is not an easy one to take, which is why I must ask you: how far are you willing to go for your husband?”

The flame grew into a wildfire. 

“To the ends of the fucking earth.”

There was silence as Jet examined him for a moment longer, face expressionless, before letting out a small sigh and standing up again. “Very well then. Pack your things. I will take you to where the road to Hadestown begins. If you are going to make stupid choices, I will at least make sure you can begin making them safely.”

Buddy started shaking her head vehemently. “No, no, no. You can’t let him go, Jet darling, he’s just going to get himself killed too. It’s not safe.”

“And yet you took the same course of action all those years ago, Buddy. What does that say about you?”

A muscle in Buddy’s jaw twitched as she took another long swig of whiskey. Juno slowly stood up, like a prey animal caught between two predators trying to remain ignored. He desperately wanted to know what had happened between the two of them, but somehow got the impression that any requests to know would be soundly ignored. 

Buddy glared at Jet with one sharp eye, but said nothing.

Jet sighed again and put a large hand on Juno’s shoulder. “Go grab your things. We will leave in two hours.”

“Wait for me, Mista Steel! I’m comin’ too! I gotta go get my stuff and then I’ll go with ya! Lil old Rita isn’t as fast as she used to be! Wait up!”

Juno sprinted up the stairs, Rita’s voice carrying after him. And in spite of the loss he had just suffered, he was grinning.

Hang on, Nureyev. Just a little longer.

He was going to get his husband back. At any cost.

[peaceful-pawz]

Lemme Tell You A Story/SD Vent P1

So... lemme start by saying... I never originally WANTED a SD. My doctor, my therapist and my psychiatrist all suggested I get one because of how bad I am. What I USED to do, was go around with my cat, Saru, in a pet backpack, with a harness and leash on him. No.. I didn't do this 'to be cool' or 'because I wanted to drag my cat around' like these weirdos with fake SDs that just want an excuse to bring their carry-on yapper into the store with them. I started out only doing it to help Saru with getting social interactions so that he could develop into a well rounded cat when he grew up, because he was a kitten at the time. I don't have friends and don't really get along well with my family so I didn't have any other way to socialize him. What I discovered as I brought him out more and more was something else entirely. He was a fucking UNICORN. The first sign of this, was the day a lady lead me around all day, to the point my feet hurt, I was tired and my stress level hit a high point to where I could barely move. At this time, this was before I got the backpack and was rolling him around in a pet stroller. I was so worn down I collapsed to my knees, hung my head and started to cry and whimper a little from how tired and sore I was. I was ready to give up right there. It was already dark and I was in so much pain I could barely move. That is... until I felt someone pat my head. I looked up, confused, only to see a tiny paw leaned out of the side of the stroller, with Saru peeking one eye at me and gave a small, concerned meow. Well... I was touched. This little guy was trying to cheer me up and let me know he was there for me. It moved me so much, I couldn't help but smile and found my second wind. Yes... I still hurt, but I did my best to ignore it and just get us home, knowing that this little guy was on my side and did all he could to help me feel better. This didn't stop at that either. Saru over time, started to pick up more and more on my mental and emotional state all in the span of a year. To the point that he became my... 'service cat'. What started as a means of getting him socialized, became my lifeline. It wasn't even just my mental and emotional health he looked out for either. If I was on the verge on an attack, before I even knew it, he was alerting me, meowing till I moved away from the area, opened the side of the bag and stuck my hand in so he could lick it till he was sure I was okay. If I was feeling depressed at home, he would come up and lay on my chest and purr till he felt I would be alright, as well as for anxiety attacks. If I was in pain, for any reason, he would insist I sit down or he would NOT stop meowing at me. As soon as I sat and rested, he'd calm down. If my blood sugar was too low from not eating as much as I probably should've that day(like skipping breakfast), he would meow at me till I got something to eat. Then he'd calm down. And if I didn't listen to him at any point in time? Ooooh, he'd make a stink. He'd not just meow, he'd paw and claw at the backpack relentlessly! I took him to group therapy with me for the time I went and he'd be let out but he'd always stay close by or rest on the couch and watch me. He was the joy of the group, everyone loved him and noted how attentive he was to me. The trouble is... I couldn't keep it up forever. Saru IS a cat after all. He can't BE a Service Animal legally here in the US and because of that, I was now trapped in a corner. I was told I couldn't bring him with me anymore to my therapy sessions, because the owner of the building was cracking down against ESAs. I understood... I always got lucky here because Saru always stayed in his backpack unless I was at a specific place that allowed otherwise and this is a very pet friendly town. But... it couldn't last. Even now, tho he doesn't come with me, he complains because he can't and does still look after me in the house. But... I needed to break down and do what I had been suggested so many times before at that point. Oh, I tried going out alone, I did. But it felt

like I was in a constant state of panic at all times. Attacks were more frequent and I was constantly on edge. It wasn't working... so... I backpedaled. I couldn't risk leaving the house and having frequent attacks all the time! Going anywhere that rejected him was a nightmare because the only places he WAS rejected, was the place I needed to go to get my psyc meds! With me not going tho, I did my best to at least make a way of handling it otherwise, getting it from Helping Hands, until I could get up there again. But... because I stopped going up... they aborted me from the program without warning. I was headed in a downward spiral I couldn't get out of. So... I decided to break down and try and do a SD. Its not... that I dislike dogs mind you. I adore all animals. I just didn't feel I could AFFORD a dog. But thanks to my starting to help out the local strays around here, the head person at Pet Partners decided to help me to be able to afford the dog's needs when I couldn't. I finally was training a dog and it was starting to work itself back out. But... I washed two dogs before I got to my current one. Sans, because he could NOT be trusted off-lead and Kiiro, because he'd freeze up around strangers and become unresponsive till I got him away from the situation. He wouldn't even lay in the room with a stranger if the room was too small. Kuro, my current girl was doing beautifully. If she was working, she knew to go potty and then return to me right after. She had no fear of strangers but also knew better than to let them reach for her. Kuro was doing so wonderfully! She even picked up commands really fast! But... that all started to spiral downward the moment I realized... she wasn't responding to my attacks at all. She couldn't tell when they were on the verge like Saru. Sure, I taught her DPT. She'd do it for a bit. But after a while, she'd decide that she was bored of laying in that spot and rather lay beside me, which was not helpful. I don't wanna wash her too, but if she can't smell my anxiety before I know about it then... theres not much I can do. I need to be told BEFORE it comes about. Heck, Saru even would tell people to step back if they got too close behind me to make sure I didn't have an attack. While Kuro still hasn't figured out to auto-block for me. I have to tell her to. Honestly... just writing this is making my anxiety trigger... so... I'm gonna take a break for now... lay down...