#yaoi posting from yours truly

[dishsoaptragedies]

he's not used to having long hair yet :((

[sunnycringe]

Souichi

[thedevilsrain]

eroica outfits volumes 1-10 🌹

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me

[asmimir]

Your art reminded of how the Unholy Alliance update made me go from very on the vence about Narinder to biggest Narinder defender will die in the trenches for my wife /hj

Like personally, them finally giving us the reasoning behind the Bishops attack on Narinder beyond vague prophecy changed a lot of the context behind the situation

And while, yes, the intentions behind his actions of resurrecting followers and his opinion on his new find extreme popularity were left quite vague (and why I don't if someone still interprets Narinder as the one mainly/equally at fault). It still doesn't change how it was a betrayal out of the Bishops fear of a possible betrayal. He wasn't conquering and overtaking them, he wasn't actively starving them, they just feared that possibility that he would.

It gets even more fucked up when you remember that all the Bishops ran their faiths by gifting and blessings their followers with the opposite of their domains (food, heath, etc) so Narinder actions where probably completely normal thing to do as a god of death in his mind, like.

In my fucked up fantasies (aka my interpretations of the canon), Narinder was only truly in the wrong when they asked the Lamb to sacrifice themselves. But getting into even more personal headcanons territory, for him it was likely just the natural/necessary think to do. He's a god of death that gave this little mortal life so they could do his bitting (that included them doing their own sacrifices, depending on your own gameplay), them sacrificing themselves was likely a given for him. Probably didn't consider that the Lamb would mind it, like, sacrificing yourself for your god just another tuesday in the life of a follower of death aint I right

So in conclusion, narilamb before post-game was a classic case of doomed yaoi/hurt people hurt people. Narinder asked the sacrifice-survivor to be sacrificed once again and the Lamb betrayed the one who was betrayed in return (pun half-intended)

(Really sorry for the ramble, it's almost midnight in my country and your art plagued me with thoughts. Hope you at least liked reading my deranged screams, I mean, my interpretations of the story. If you didn't, again, Im truly sorry. But Im still interested in your own thoughts regardless, so yeah... feel free to share??? I don't know how to phrase that in a good way, again, its almost midnigh)

no truer words have been said

[luciferanalyzestar]

Live Reaction: Ghostfuckers

Spoilers of course. I still hate the title of this episode. 0/10 for that alone. This post is just my unfiltered thoughts.

Look the other WLW couple in the Hellaverse! Forgot their names though.

Me thinking about how this show is slowly going downhill. /lhj Why is Blitz 'sulking' over Stolass?? Out of all the characters, he is sulking over the classist asshole who fetishize him for his species.

Man, I wish we saw more of that hard work. Not "yaoi." that overstayed its welcome. There is that Helluva cringe I love so much. /s

Ew. Blitz is fucking nasty. Ugh. More unfunny sexual jokes.

The American™️ experience.

Good!! Stolas is again, a classist species fetishizer. I do not Blitz that much, but he deserved someone better than the owl fucker. He needs to go to therapy first though.

Loona's attitude is fucking weird. She is 22 years old, why she calling Millie who is around 25-30 years old "grandma"??? If she was a teenager that would make sense, but she is an adult. Her insults suck pure ass. Like her calling Mooxie 'fat'. Send her ass back to that pound. /lhj

The word of the day is: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Viv and the other writers need to learn new swear words.

The sex jokes are so bad. They are not even at high school level, more like middle schooler who laughs when seeing Bitch in the dictionary level.

This show overuses bitch too. There is no PUNCH to it anymore. It is like a sound bit at this point. I love this old man. Why does Blitz tell Mille to "Look out, he's a patriot!" like it is bad thing? He is a true definition of one unlike a certain party.

The song sucks. They truly peaked in Ozzie's and never returned to that level. YES MILLIE! Tell Blitz how you truly feel. That piece of shit has not paid you in weeks and was too busy buying cheap trash.

Remind of me of that faceless Squall moment in Final Fantasy VIII. I Never played the games though. I just know about it thanks to horror youtubers. I love me some good body horror. They finally took Blitz's mom out of the fridge. I am sorry but this scene is making me laugh. Her eye popping out is looks goofy. It like a zany cartoon from the 90s.

Backstory time? The dialogue is not natural in this scene. Blitz is saying some self-hating stuff and Millie is going "Do you remember" like she is Earth, Wind, and Fire. Imagine venting to someone about hating yourself and that you destroy everything you touch, and they say, "Remember how we met?" Blitz's response would be mines. "What?"

"Imps don't work for themselves, asshole."

I wish that show was still about this. A person from a lower class trying to work his way to the top. If that show would be more impactful and would be remember as the edgy demon show with an inspiring message that everyone would relate to or inspire to be. Not the sex joke obsessed demon show with awful writing and the main "appeal" is rotten yaoi. Anyway, the fight scene was fine. Loona looks off model when she has an happy expression. I am used to that aloof and pissed off expression she always have.

"He's my best friend."

Blitz is your best friend?? This is the most time y'all interacted with each other on scene. This is the first conversation Mille and Blitz has ever had. We are almost done with Season two by the way.

This show just loves to traumatize Blitz. I wish he relived his traumatizing experiences in a more natural way. Like seeing certain objects or hearing certain sounds makes him hyperventilate or sends him into the beginning of a panic attack. I have no issues with characters having trauma or PTSD, but it seems like Blitz's trauma is a part of his character to make him seem more interesting as the protag instead of telling how trauma can truly change and mold a person into something different. There are just sprinkles of this. Blitz puts a facade of being an foul mouthed asshole because he does not want to get attached to people, from the trauma of killing his own mother, and etc. I wish it was not this Clockwork Orange type shit. This is 100% a post for another day.

"Your level of insecurity is intoxicating." Rolando should visit the Hazbin hotel. The insecurity levels are off the charts in that place. /lhj "Tonight I'm Blitz Demon-Dicker!" That is pure cringe right there.

Blitz trying to have sex with the M&Ms was always creepy to me because the idea of a boss trying to sleep with his employees is gross. Stick to signing their paychecks, not being in-between their sheets. Blitz being jealousy of their relationship is fine; it should never have crossed into sexual territory.

Episode rating: 7.5/10

None of the jokes made me laugh which is the usual for me. That Blitz's mom scene is unintentional comedy though. Rewatching, it made me laugh again and of course there is a pin design of that scene too. This is Tilla's first real merch. Good for her. Of course they made merch for the one off. Someone is out there emptying their bank account to have a "complete collection" because they just love dropping merch back-to-back.

Lazy ass shit right here. Who in their damn mind would buy this? Better than that slurs shirt though. I have to talk about the Helluva merch, but they are doing recolors now. What is this a fighting game?

Back on topic, this episode actually kept my attention unlike Full Moon and Apology Tour. Watching those episodes made me want to start drinking. Just alright episode, one of the better ones for a season that was about to rot. I am starting to like Millie more; it is nice to see her talk to a character that is not Mooxie.

[mushiemadarame]

Getting Started BL RecList

Back in 2022, when I first started watching BL – though it was far from my first foray into the genre* –, I went in guns blazing without much of an idea where to start and where it would lead me. Now, in 2024, I have almost 500 BL series and movies under my belt and I realise it might feel a little overwhelming to choose where to start for someone who dives into the current landscape for the first time. That’s why I thought I would compile a completely personal and biased rec list for beginners who might want a little guidance, completely based on my own experience and journey into this amazing and highly entertaining world. Links for where to watch are in an alternate version of this post because of the Tumblr link limit and if you have trouble finding any or specific versions of any of the shows, my askbox is at your disposal. Hope you enjoy!

*while I’ve been reading Yaoi Manga since I was about 11, excluding very few exceptions, it’s only recently that I’ve gotten into the genre on the screen. That is to say, I wasn’t entirely clueless to begin with.

The Fluff - Happy endings assured, along with some side-stitching comedies.

⇢About Youth - Just so heartwarming and lovely, it has a great OST and an interesting family conflict theme to it. It’s cute and it’s wonderful. ⇢Bad Buddy - Such a classic even though it’s fairly recent. I think it’s perfect for a beginner with its classic enemies-to-lovers dynamic and a Romeo and Juliet kind of deal going on. ⇢Cherry Magic! JPN/Cherry Magic! TH - I know some might want to kill me for what I’m about to say but I personally didn’t love the Japanese version of this story and very much adored the Thai one. However, the Japanese show is a must-watch because it’s definitely a staple in Japanese BL and even though I didn’t love the series itself, the movie played me like a fiddle. The Thai version immediately became one of my absolute favourites, on like, episode one. So… give both a try. + Movie ⇢Fish Upon the Sky - I had no idea people hated this show as much as they do, I actually love it. It was the first BL that had me in stitches and even upon rewatches, it hasn’t failed to live up to what I first thought of it. This is just pure crack and it’s awesome. ⇢Kieta Hatsukoi - Sweet, so very very sweet. It’s Japan’s brand of sweet too which some might find a little unsatisfactory. When I first gave it a try, I didn’t quite get the hype but then it went in interesting places for me and now I highly recommend it. + Thai remake ⇢My School President - THEE high school BL. I have watched many others and none of them have impressed me and entertained me like this one. I even like the music. GMMTV did not know how much gold it had struck when they signed GemFourth. ⇢Old Fashion Cupcake - A mature story about finding love and yourself later in life in the guise of a fluffy show. This is very much a case of more than meets the eye and everything from the aesthetics to the story elevates it to a classic. ⇢Our Dining Table - The perfect exploration of found family for me. I love this show so much, I cried almost every single episode and it really really surprised me in many ways. It’s truly a warm, comforting show with subtle imagery and masterful acting. The main actor is incredibly talented and a fucking acting chameleon. It also features the best child actor that has ever graced my screen. + Special EP 

Set Your Expectations High - High-quality shows that might ruin you for anything less.

⇢He’s Coming to Me - Could have been an underrated gem but luckily, there’s a lot of people who love this show and for good reason. It has my favourite coming out plot and it’s so original in its premise. Wonderfully complex characters and amazing acting. Ohm Pawat knocks it out of the park with this one, definitely my favourite of his. ⇢Not Me - How to even begin to explain how important this show is to me. I got a fucking tattoo of it, on my skin, forever!!!! My absolute number one BL, they will never make another like it. I love everything about it from the director, to the casting, to the silly moments. This show single-handedly endeared me to so many of GMMTV roster, it's insane. It almost ruined me for everything else and I watched it very early on too, so there was a tangible risk. 

We Like It Spicy - If you’re looking for titillating chemistry, this is for you.

⇢Big Dragon - This show compels me. Is it good? Not exactly. And yet it kept me glued to the screen every single week. The chemistry is on fire, the story is a little silly at times but the way the characters develop through it is surprisingly very well-done. I don’t know what to say, it really worked for me and it’s a great display of how sometimes you’ll come across shows that care more about titillation than story. ⇢KinnPorsche - My very, very first Thai BL and what got me back into the genre and introduced me to Thai shows in particular. It is horny, it is wild, it is toxic at times but it is the ride. I believe it might have been the first Thai BL show to truly get so much money thrown at it and it changed the entire industry. Also just so completely entertaining and fun. ⇢The Novelist - The native title for this is Pornographer so you can imagine how this belongs into a higher level of spicy. I feel like it's a very good look into the more mature side of Japanese BL while still including a compelling love story. There are tougher Japanese BL out there both in terms of themes and explicitness but this is a good primer. + Prequel (watch it second) & Sequels 1, 2, & 3

Legendary Doesn’t Always Mean Good - Titles you just can’t stop coming across, a mixed bag of quality. 

⇢2gether - I‘ll premise by saying that I really don’t like this one. I only watched it because it is inescapable when you start looking at Thai BL and I just had to know what the hype was about. It was absolutely not worth it for me but definitely belongs to the list of the ones you need to watch for the culture. + Season 2 & Movie ⇢Cupid’s Last Wish - This show makes me actively angry, genuinely throws me into a rage if I think about it too much while also having one of my favourite scenes. Overall, not great though not even all that bad. My dislike of it is not at all proportional with how bad it is. I feel like it’s a bit of a classic for a lot of reasons. Just… give it a try, it’s impossible you’ll hate it as much as I do. ⇢Dark Blue Kiss - Funnily enough, even though I really hated their part of the show, this is the one that made me a TayNew fan. It’s not offensively bad but it has a special place in hell for me for what it could have been but wasn’t – those are the shows that test me the most – and the only way I managed to watch the whole of it was thanks to the secondary couple. As a lot of other shows in this section, it’s another one for the culture. + Kiss Me Again ⇢HIStory2: Crossing the Line - The HIStory series is definitely the biggest staple of Taiwanese BL but if I had to recommend it, I would only go for specific shows like this one and two others in the list. This specifically is a little on the older side and it is just so charming. The acting in the entire series is quite good when taking into account when they were made but this is the first one with a truly enjoyable plot in my opinion. ⇢HIStory3: Trapped - Oh, this one is just plain good. I think it’s a turning point for the HIStory series and it’s very very entertaining while also having some genuine emotional beats.  ⇢Manner of Death - Manner of Death walked so KinnPorsche could run. MaxTul have done so much for the Thai BL industry and this show in particular took the risk of transposing BL into the thriller genre and opened the door for many others to mix up the formula. Plus, it’s genuinely good. ⇢Semantic Error - Everything that Korean BL can be when production is not cowardly. Sounds harsh but it’s true. It’s fun, it’s quirky, the dynamic and chemistry make it an instant classic, and it’s just so beautiful to look at. One of the most pleasant rewatches for me. ⇢Together With Me - This one is probably older than anything else Thai in this list and it shows; it gives a very good idea of where BL storylines started but it’s not exactly good. Interesting watch if you want to know where the Kings™ came from. + Bad Romance (original story, not recommended) & Season 2 ⇢We Best Love: No. 1 For You - For me, this encompasses everything Taiwanese BL can be while also showcasing where it came from. A rare, non-Thai, very frequent rewatch. + Season 2 ⇢Where Your Eyes Linger - This is the first of director Hwang Da Seul’s holy trinity and together with To My Star and Blueming is a must-watch of Korean BL. ⇢Why R U? - A formative show in my Thai BL journey and also one of the first I watched. It is definitely dated but it also really shows how Thai BL developed over time. I slightly prefer the more recent and totally different Korean remake but it’s very close.

I Don’t Want Peace I Want Problems - These characters hate boredom just as much as you.

⇢Addicted - The Cursed story with a capital C, this show is truly one of a kind. It delves into some pretty toxic and problematic narratives but it’s also the only adaptation that manages to really convey the socioeconomic message of the story it tells. Be warned that it is incomplete due to Chinese censorship, which is only the tip of the iceberg of the BTS lore. None of the adaptations have (so far) been able to get to the end of the original story, hence the reason I say it’s Cursed. + Censored Chinese remake & Thai remake (ongoing) ⇢The Eclipse - I really really loved this show until I didn’t. The acting alone is one of the best in the whole of GMMTV’s history and it touches on some very complex themes while still very much being a High School BL. The ending frustrated me to no end because it completely smashed the quality heights it had reached for some easy fluff and it just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Still, it’s very beloved by a lot of people – *cough*Jay*cough*. ⇢Love Mechanics - It’s messy and probably not to everyone’s taste but for me this is an excellent display of how much direction and chemistry can make or break a not-that-exciting story. I rewatch this constantly. + NOTE: There is a director’s cut of the first three episodes then they integrate. En of Love [▶️watch here] is the first, inferior version of the story. ⇢My Beautiful Man - This one tends to be a controversial rec. It’s probably the show that surprised me the most in this entire list and made me do a complete 180 in my opinion of it. Once I finally gave it a chance, I just couldn't stop watching it, and it gets even better as it continues in the following season and the epilogue. + Season 2 & Movie ⇢My Stand-In - A very recent addition, I am obsessed with it. There is not one episode I didn’t like and for me this really managed to make the relationship work despite the toxicity and the atrocities. The acting is just splendid, I will now forever be a fan of Up and Poom. I love it. ⇢To Sir, With Love - This is fully a soap opera. I haven’t seen it recommended as much as others because of how long and how specifically in the soap opera genre it is. But! – big but – if you manage to get through the whole of it, you are primed for any other BLs that use the same narrative style or very close narrative styles like Century of Love. For me, it contextualised a lot of other Thai shows I’ve watched and in the end, though it feels longer than it should be, I actually really liked it. But man, life is way too short to ever rewatch it.

So You Want It Artsy - That snobby friend who only watches French Indie films you hate to admit are actually excellent.

⇢180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us - The biggest draw of this show is the shooting style which perfectly complements the themes in the story. A masterclass in acting with complex characters, I know a lot of people find it hard to get through because of the theatrical style it employs but for me that’s a huge plus. I highly discourage watching it all at once, I think it’s a show that needs its time to be watched. A real feast for the eyes.  ⇢Blueming - A cinematographic work of art. The plot is not that complicated, it relies a lot on the emotional beats and the complex inner lives of the protagonists. Part of the HDS holy trinity so you just gotta watch it. It’s fairly brief. ⇢The Eighth Sense - Unfortunately, I didn't end up loving this as much as basically everyone else but I do think it showed amazing promise. The ending just didn't work particularly well for me but it's definitely a very well-crafted story with amazing cinematography and great acting. ⇢I Told Sunset About You, Last Twilight in Phuket, I Promised You The Moon - If you ask people who liked this one, most will say they hate the second season because of the cheating storyline. I completely and utterly disagree. I have some minor gripes with how it ended but overall this is almost a perfect show IMO.

In Need of A Good Cry - Break-up, death, overall tragedy; for those nights you need to get it out. WARNING: some sad and tragic endings ahead.

⇢The Day I Loved You - I have a slightly controversial opinion about this one but the show is not a controversial recommendation at all. It’s plain good. I feel like it might be the only Filipino BL I’ve truly enjoyed and it’s definitely the only one you’ll find in this list. ⇢Eternal Yesterday - You go into this and you already know how much it’s going to break your heart but you never stop hoping for that happy ending. This one really devastated me because even though I knew it was going to end sadly, it managed to surprise me in the way it got there. ⇢HIStory3: Make Our Days Count - I’ve heard so many people say to just skip the end of the second to last episode and the whole of the finale and I get it. I would probably do the same upon rewatch but I don’t recommend skipping it if it’s your first time. Masterful character development and acting, I wish the rest of the HIStory series had maintained the same level of storytelling but alas, it didn’t. ⇢Kissable Lips - I didn't think vampires could make me this emotional. Way ahead of its time, we might never see another like this from South Korea.  ⇢Life: Love on the Line - Frustrating at times, pays off in a big way at the end. Very few others have made me cry as much. NOTE: make sure to watch the director’s cut. ⇢The On1y One - Also a very recent addition. This one can truly boast doing the slow-burn right. There were a couple of episodes that got a little shaky toward the end and if it ends up not getting a second season, I might commit arson but damn if the emotional beats didn’t work in a big way. I was played and I didn’t even wanna watch it at first.

The Self-referentials - We love a story that knows its own genre.

⇢A Man Who Defies the World of BL - Pure and absolute comedy from Japan, it parodies and deconstructs every single trope there is. The comedy is very in-your-face but instead of cringing, it consistently makes me die with laughter. Technically ongoing but unsure whether it'll get a fourth season. ⇢Kabe Koji - I have to admit I don’t remember a lot about this show aside from how much it impressed me when I watched it and the people to whom I’ve recommended it with the caveat that at the beginning it seems a little silly and not that good have come back to tell me that it was totally worth the watch, which is exactly the feeling I remember getting from watching it and why I recommend it. It’s formative, I just don’t remember why. ⇢Lovely Writer - I specifically chose to watch this when starting to dive into Thai BL because it deals with the Behind the Scenes of how BL shows are made and it was essential to my understanding of how fanservice works in this specific industry and definitely put me on the right path to find out more on the subject. Other than that, it’s fairly good and fluffy though I’m not a fan of one specific trope it uses.

Genre Outliers - BLs that like to mix it up a bit.

⇢He/She/It - Short and weird. I feel like this is very much one of a kind and I would watch it if only because it’s so damn intriguing even though it could have flourished with a bigger budget. However, it’s lovable also because it’s so obviously a small-budget project. ⇢Love for Love’s Sake - It definitely deserves the reputation it gets. It starts with catapulting you into one story and perfectly uses it to mirror the actual point of the show. The love story is excellent and the medium it uses in-world was a stylistic and instrumental dream. It knows exactly what it’s doing and it’s a masterful execution of the isekai genre while also keeping well within the BL world. ⇢The Warp Effect - Stretching the definition of BL a little as technically, the protagonist is a straight (up for debate) dude. That isn’t to say this isn’t very much a queer story with compelling queer characters and a fair dose of fun. I also absolutely adore how it talks about sex and feel like its approach to the topic is extremely sensitive and well-done. Plus, it’s genuinely funny. ⇢Till the World Ends - I will forever be grateful to Jay for convincing me to give this a try. It’s a little gorey and none of the characters are very good people – aside from Art. The fact that it came from a smaller, almost indie studio is incredible and it is brave as hell for choosing the subject matter it did and executing it the way it did. Michael Kiettisak is the love of my life (though this is not the show that originated my undying love for him, do ask me about it). NOTE: some of the videos on YT are membership-restricted but censored versions are available on the original channel.

Complicated Recs - Shows I have trouble recommending without a disclaimer but trust me, you need to see them.

⇢Secret Crush on You - I can’t possibly explain in just two or three sentences why you should watch it. It’s cringey, it’s ridiculous, and so so hard to get through but!!!! Just come talk to me about it if you want to know more ‘cause my thoughts about this are so conflicting I can’t get into it here. If you get through this one, you can get through anything. Just watch it and then come yell at me because you hated it and hold me responsible for convincing you. ⇢TharnType - This is even harder to justify than the previous one. Simply put: it is so wildly popular and well-known, you just have to experience it for the culture. On the other hand, I maintain that with a few tweaks – and they would genuinely be just a few though some of them major –, this show could have been groundbreaking. Again, if you want me to say more than that, you’ll have to leave me an ask. + Special 1, Season 2 & Special 2

Underrated Gems - Nobody talks about them and I’m very sad about it.

⇢The Best Story - Short, sweet, heart-breaking. A very overlooked show if you consider it stars YinWar and even though it’s one of the first they did together, it already showcases how well they work as a pair. One day, I will get the epilogue I deserve. ⇢Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul - I cannot understand why this doesn’t get recommended in the same breath as Manner of Death. I found it completely by accident and loved it instantly. Stylistically, very much in the same category as MoD for me though I might like the emotional beats in this one a little more. ⇢Light on Me - So underrated. It has such a gentle touch with dealing about young love. Perfect display of how tender and delicate teenage love can be, it made my heart clench and filled me with joy. ⇢Long Time No See - Some of the older Korean BLs are surprisingly forward compared to what we get today and this is only one, excellent example of it. While it does have some spice, you should also watch it for the plot. Short and extremely lovable.  ⇢Love Is Better the Second Time Around - Why 👏 does 👏 nobody 👏 talk 👏 about 👏 this 👏 show!!! 👏 The music choices alone made it such an entertaining watch. I can only describe this as unexpected.  ⇢Love Class - I can't understand the absolute loathing I’ve seen people have for this show at all, especially for the second season. I loved it, both times. I especially loved the secondary couples in the second season but both times I was blindsided by how much I enjoyed it and how much of a left turn it took. Came for the romance, stayed for the plot twists. + Season 2 (not a continuation of the previous season) ⇢Our Days - This is another show I remember very little about aside from being very struck by the stylistic choices. The plot isn’t especially original but I was very intrigued by its pacing and its narrative style which is what stuck with me. I'm including it because I watched it fairly early in my BL watching experience and it definitely primed me for shows coming from lesser-known studios. ⇢Rak Diao - I will never ever get over the fact that this didn’t get a second season. Not only did it need it, it deserved it. This is shot like a sit-com, which means fake laughter and the kind of comedy that comes with that but it gets unexpectedly deep as it goes and does a wonderful job of conveying the emotions throughout the progression of the love story. I would have never expected to like it as much as I did, it holds a very dear place in my heart. ⇢Something In My Room - Such a lovely and heartwarming show despite the sad ending. I don’t really have the words to describe it, I just really loved it and would like for more people to know it.

Personal Faves - Are these good? That’s irrelevant. I love them, therefore they’re the best.

⇢The End of The World With You - This show was a journey. I knew exactly where it was going but it made me excited to find out how it would get there. The ending is a little goofy solely because of the low-budget VFX but emotionally, it really worked for me. ⇢Theory of Love - This is quite literally my problematic fave. I always skip most of the side plots when rewatching it and it’s the show I managed to trap my best friend into watching BL with. I genuinely adore KhaoThird’s story, I know a lot of people don’t like how their relationship begins but I think the character development is just done so well that it makes it work. Plus, I love the way it combines all the references into its own story and the Special EP always makes me tear up a little. Huge, huge emotional attachment to this one on my part. ⇢The Time of Fever - Technically, this is a spin-off prequel. It tells the story of the secondary couple from Unintentional Love Story and how they got to the point we find them in that one. It’s beautiful both aesthetically and story-wise. The acting is just excellent and the chemistry is out-of-this-world. I would personally recommend watching ULS first, then this one, then only the DongHee and HoTae parts from ULS again but it’s up to you. I will get that DongHeeHoTae-centric second season or die trying. + Unintentional Love Story (main story) ⇢To My Star + Season 2 - This show, to me, is a staple but I feel like it doesn’t tend to make the big names list. It is not only in my top three BL shows but also in my list of favourite shows ever of any genre. It’s absolutely essential to watch season two as it is quite different from the first one and much more developed. In general, I like season two a little more than the first but that does not mean the first is lacking in anything. It’s very marginal. Genuinely, this show can play my emotions like maybe only one or two others I’ve watched.

This concludes this very long and self-indulgent list of recommendations. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much for reading and please do shoot me an ask or a comment or a DM if you want to talk about any of these shows or others with me, it would genuinely make my day!

A/N 1: some of the titles in this list have an ‘extended universe’ situation going on. Feel free to contact me if you need help navigating it. A/N 2: just because they’re in this list, does not mean I consider all these shows to be the top of the crop. These are specifically shows that I think would be ideal for a beginner to get into the genre, there are many many others that I would readily recommend that didn’t make the cut and that I would be glad to elaborate on if asked. A/N 3: if you ever find yourself thinking “What the hell are they even saying??” while reading this, just imagine me adding an “in my opinion” to the end of every sentence.

[a-big-chicken-nerd]

Ice Emperor related fic recs?

ohohoho most certainly

thin ice breaks easily by lightningchicken has gotta be my all time favorite ice emperor fic. never fails to make me go a little insane its SO GOOD

lost and found by idkwhyimhere5462 is an absolute banger with the plot being utilized so perfectly to really show off what ice emperor was like during his reign as well as vex and boreal and their dynamic and its extremely good

adventures with the ice emperor by idkwhyimhere5462 is a series of absolutely banger oneshots

ruler from another realm by cybersearcher is an absolutely iconic one and a must read. not your typical ice emperor fic but the never-realm world building is too good

whetstone by spinchip is awesome i love the open ending and the continuation of akitas plot and the characterization SO much

i hope we both die by spinchip is another banger by spinchip because btw spinchip does nothing but bangers so definitely check out all their zane and post-ice emperor fics both on ao3 and tumblr

bitter cold by redboar is a LONG one!!! 100k+ words!!!! ice emperor is so cool in it and the way vex and grimfax are written is extremely good

i think that i damned the both of us by penofwildfire is truly premium quality toxic yaoi if shipping ice emperor and vex is your thing

how the frost forgets by kzfine is still currently ongoing and its super good so far with plenty of focus on vex as well which is always excellent to see

the ultimate guide to re-becoming zane julien by fronhdoesthings is awesome and still currently ongoing and it has really good illustrations and is just overall great

there are a lot of great zane focused post-never realm fics as well but i tried to keep this list to just ice emperor ones that stay WITHIN the never realm LOL one billion fics upon ye

[athina-blaine]

kb/ms is truly transcendental yaoi, spectacular, amazing, 10/10, no notes ... from the perspective of a mithrun enjoyer

as a kabru enjoyer, however...

I'll start off by saying that of course Kabru doesn't want or need a romantic relationship to be fulfilled, especially not with a white man, none of them do, it's all non-canon, Dungeon Meshi isn't about romance or shipping, yes yes yes, but none of us are here for that right now!! We're here to fruitlessly argue why my blorbos kissing makes more sense than your blorbos kissing!! You know it, I know it, none of us are free of cringe!! Clown on clown violence!!

That being said ... 🤡

I just don't see what Kabru gets out of kb/ms. With Mithrun, it makes sense; Kabru has a huge impact on him and ultimately helps him reaffirm his will to live. That's very exquisite drama and excellent character writing. But with Kabru, I just don't feel that Mithrun's character interacts with his personal flaws and would instigate his growth anywhere close to the same degree. I have to imagine most fics involving them focus more on Mithrun's baggage and how Kabru helps him heal from that ... because that's mostly all that happens between them in the main story, lol!

And like, that makes sense, because ultimately chapters 61-62 aren't about Kabru and Mithrun; they're about Kabru working through his conflicted feelings in helping Laios conquer the dungeon. I think it's ironic seeing people complain about kb/ms having Kabru be Mithrun's accessory when, if anything, Mithrun's main narrative purpose, outside of illustrating the danger of the Winged Lion, is to serve as Kabru's obstacle. I'd even argue Mithrun represents Kabru's personal bad ending; Mithrun wants him to kill Laios and surrender the dungeon to the canaries, preventing the short-lived races from ever understanding how dungeons function and returning to the status quo that had gotten Utaya destroyed. It's only when Laios practically forces Kabru, straight up puts his thumbs to the screws, to work past his reticence and be emotionally vulnerable that Kabru finally puts himself on the right path to achieve his goals (it's, uh, still a bit of a bumpy ride, but they get there in the end, lol!). If he'd been this way with Laios from the beginning, he might have understood Laios' intentions from the start and saved himself a lot of pain, but it's only because of Laios' influence that Kabru is able to grow as a character and get his happy ending.

(And even if one were a Mithrun enjoyer, ultimately the main source of Mithrun's life affirmation comes from the canaries. In that final scene, Kabru gets the ball rolling because he's outside of the canary hierarchy, but the scene ends with Mithrun being embraced by the canaries and as far as I'm aware the two don't interact with or reference each other post canon at all. Hell, it's Senshi who really drives the point home. Not that it matters when we're all wearing shipping goggles here, but it felt remiss not to mention it.)

At most, I can see how taking care of Mithrun would force Kabru to reexamine how poorly he takes care of his own body and that could make for some good drama. But even then, that change is ultimately instigated by Laios' influence on him, an extension of how Kabru wants to understand how Laios can see the value in monsters in an attempt to better understand his own trauma. If a person were to get into Dungeon Meshi specifically for Kabru and wanted to ship him with someone in a way that's most interesting for him, I'd be hard-pressed to argue there's a better choice than Laios (although who'd be cringe enough to do something like that haha right guys ... [sweating])

(Side note, though, I really don't vibe with the argument that kb/ms "reduces Kabru to a caretaker role" and that's why it's bad. There's plenty of instances where Kabru shoulders his friends' burdens (helps Kuro learn common tongue, listens to Daya's fiance about his relationship troubles, etc) and, more importantly, is seemingly happy to do so. I think Kabru genuinely enjoys looking after his friends and in the story seems to find plenty of personal satisfaction getting Mithrun to eat. I understand it has the potential to be more troubling considering Kabru is a brown man and Mithrun is a white man, but idk, it just feels on the same level as people trying to discount labru by saying Laios wouldn't take enough of an interest in people to want to start a romantic relationship, when his whole thing is that he does want to connect with people and just feels like he can't. It's not a bone I feel like picking, haha)

I honesty don't mind characters being "mischaracterized" in fandom or fic even to a large degree, I know it bugs a lot of people but I respect that ultimately fandom is little more than picking up the vague outline of a doll and playing with it and mashing their faces together. Besides, if I'm really worked up about it I can just write a fic and set the record straight myself, haha. This post is merely inspired by the supremely annoying subsection of twitter that acts like labru is the ship where it's just two dudes sitting in a room together. I'm just saying, Kabru ends the series whispering into the ear of another man as his day job and it's not Mithrun lmao

[killkaramazov]

This will be my worst post but fuck it. If you’re absolutely DETERMINED to take it there then Smerdy/Ivan absolutely BODIES Alyosha/Ivan in terms of narrative/characterization/dynamic/motif and theme/basically everything else that matters. But it is really not about that for the vast majority of people who are deadass about shipping yaoi from a Russian novel published in 1879. All the IvanYosha stuff seems like it’s really more about getting your rocks off on AO3 and drawing two conventionally attractive anime twinks kissing. To which I wonder why you wouldn’t pick literally any two characters from any media for that unless you’re just into incest or something. 

I really love the Grand Inquisitor kiss! And I don’t like seeing it interpreted that way! 

On the other hand something that drives me insane about my personal interpretation of the book is the juxtaposition between the Alyosha Ivan kiss vs Ivan’s general disgust for Smerdyakov. Why is Alyosha kissing Ivan a pure, innocent expression of Christian love for all humanity but Smerdyakov’s gesture of love (killing Fyodor) is something so perverse and horrifying? It shows us something about their station of life through the roles and the acts that are even allowed to them in the narrative.

As far as SmerdyIvan goes I am reminded of the JSTOR article I read (that I now cannot fucking find) where the author mentioned an idea that all of Dostoevsky’s novels center around or contain one central taboo that is so unspeakable that it is scarcely even outright mentioned, and that the central taboo in question in TBK is that Smerdyakov is the fourth brother.

Incest is already gotten into in canon and much has been written about this, especially regarding Dmitry and Fyodor’s rivalry over Grushenka, but also with Ivan falling in love with Dmitry’s ex. So even though we are going far afield from authorial intent, it is really not that much of a jump to start looking at emotional incest from other angles within the family, as we already know literally every other type of abuse was already occurring within that (entirely fractured) family unit. As far as I am concerned regarding authorial intent, any claim you want to make about a work of fiction is fair game as long as you can justify it with evidence from the text, and people have been writing academic articles and essays making wild inferences from this text for the last 150 years, so I defend my right to make this interpretation. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if Freud can diagnose Dostoevsky as bisexual we can say whatever we want about this book.

We know from the canon indisputably that Smerdyakov is unhealthily attached to Ivan, and we know that some vague thing about Smerdyakov sets Ivan’s Geiger counter for rancid horrific disgusting vibes to 10 immediately, anytime they are on the page together. So we can infer a lot from that.

Smerdyakov was literally born of sexual violence, and is a pariah in terms of his gender expression and sexuality, so him taking on the role of someone with a warped sexuality in the narrative just sort of… follows, in terms of the novels concern with the idea of inherited sin. 

There is something compelling to me about the idea that Smerdyakov would seek entrance into the Karamazov family in another, weirder way psychologically through attaching highly inappropriate feelings to Ivan. (‘If you think of me and my feelings toward you as incestuous, then that means you have acknowledged me as a family member’) 

And regardless of what I literally just said about authorial intent, Dostoevsky outright tells us how gay Smerdyakov is like every single time he’s on page. So there is also that.

Their relationship appeals to me greatly insofar as it is utterly disgusting and that’s my jam. There is lots to explore in this dynamic but one indisputable thing baked into the text between them is that it’s literally impossible to imagine any truly romantic union between them simply because of the way they both are. They repulse each other far too much for any expression of that sort. The actualization of their inappropriate relationship is not a culmination through an even vaguely romantic or sexual encounter, instead, it is the fulfilling a murder pact. 

They are like two oppositely charged magnets or something, in turns attracting and repulsing one another, pushing and pulling on each other’s gravitational pulls. Regarding the Tchermashnya-Moscow conversation, the way that their conversations are in doublespeak, with words said out loud and then literally entire other sentences written out in thought and illustrated through description of physicality, is incredibly fascinating to me. They seem to be literally communicating telepathically.  I am reminded of another JSTOR article I read that mentions the Dostoevskian doubles “exerting influence over one other that cannot be explained in any literal sense.”  The only reason they can communicate like this is because they are doubles, and this doublism is reinforced again in the narrative by their being fake twins, the same age but born to different mothers. 

They are each other’s shadows, they share a consciousness on some level, or access each other’s consciousnesses at different times through this shared plot in a way that seems incomprehensible to both of them. And Smerdyakov, in my own interpretation and opinion, as someone who is completely starved for any kind of positive regard, takes this for love. Whether that’s familial or otherwise or both. 

They engage in this mutual seduction towards an ultimate goal or realization: Ivan presents the idea, that “all is permitted” and that perhaps it would be for the better if Fyodor were dead, and Smerdyakov takes his lead from this and in turn pulls Ivan into the murder plot. Their relationship is romantic insofar as they are seducing one another in turn towards this unspeakable and forbidden act that they both desire: the murder.

They deny it right to each others faces, only Ivan’s is an earnest denial, to himself first and foremost, and to Smerdyakov it’s just sort of… foreplay. Like, “we’re just two clever people who are only saying this because we have to, and we get it, and you’re in this with me.” 

There is something really compelling too in the fact that Ivan is on board with the murder plot in one scene on a subconscious level, but later will utterly deny that any of this ever happened or that he ever felt that way. He has expressed and betrayed a desire that is so deviant, so forbidden, and so distressing to him that he has a psychological break over denying that that could have truly been something he wanted. Ivan expresses overwhelming disgust and disdain through the entire book, mostly towards Smerdyakov, but finally towards himself when he is forced to the realization of the role he has played as the idealogical murderer. Whereas Smerdyakov, the more active pursuer in their relationship, is not ashamed of his desires and is the one who ultimately has the lack of inhibition required to carry out The Forbidden Act. 

Ivan is attracted by Smerdyakov initially, despite himself, for reasons he can’t understand, like one is drawn to a cataclysmic disaster of fate in a Greek tragedy or something, and ultimately it descends into complete loathing on both sides, kills Smerdyakov, and mocks Ivan’s entire character by undermining his self concept and his entire value system and laying utterly bare his fatal flaws as a human being. Utterly doomed and hopeless relationship in every single way! 

Alas, no one wants to match my freak about this and that is definitely for the better. If I had to see ship art of them kissing anime style I would kms. Whatever the fuck they had going on is way better. 

[cushfuddled]

I saw your Sherlock post from a couple of weeks ago just now and lol greetings from the other direction. The show died for me in season 3 when Sherlock tricked his only friend into thinking they're about to die in an explosion so John HAS to forgive Sherlock for... what is ultimately another mean trick against that friend (Reichenbach), which Sherlock didn't do to save John/Mrs. Hudson/Lestrade since Mycroft had that covered, but only because he thought John would blab. AauuuGGGHHHH.

DUDE I am passing you an "I survived Sherlock BBC" T-shirt through the screen.

Also.

YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY "SHERLOCK BBC IS A TOXIC YAOI SIMULATOR" TRAP CARD! WOE, A SHERLOCK BBC VENT BE UPON YE!

What pisses me off is that, like, Moftis could've leaned into the bullshit at least. They could've made it a CHOICE.

IMO Sherlock BBC was a horror story about homophobia and codependency. Moftis made it very clear that John is "addicted" to conflict; to danger; to Sherlock. Throughout the show John furiously stresses his heterosexuality to anyone who'll listen. He breaks himself to conform to a "normal life" with a woman and a child and a steady job. But he can only play pretend for so long. I'll never recover from that wildly on-the-nose scene where John goes to sleep next to his wife and dreams about Afghanistan (a parallel to the first scene of episode one) and his life with Sherlock.

SHERLOCK (in the dream): Seen a lot of injuries, then? Violent deaths? JOHN (in the dream): Enough for a lifetime. (In the Watsons’ bedroom there’s a pounding sound nearby, as if someone is knocking on the front door.) SHERLOCK (in the dream): Want to see some more? JOHN (in the dream): Oh, God, yes. (The banging sound comes again and John jolts and sits up in bed. Half asleep, in his mind’s eye he can see Sherlock looking intensely at him.) SHERLOCK: The game is on. (He smiles.) (John wakes up properly and throws back the covers.)

This transcript neglects to mention the shot of John ripping his hand from his wife's as he races out of the bedroom. He throws the front door open, and expresses clear disappointment when it's not Sherlock on the other side.

John DESPERATELY wants to be a normal heterosexual dude with a normal heterosexual marriage, but he can't escape his nature.

SHERLOCK (louder, talking over her): John, you are addicted to a certain lifestyle. You’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people … (his voice becomes quieter again) … so is it truly such a surprise that the woman you’ve fallen in love with conforms to that pattern? (John grimaces briefly and then, with his eyes still fixed on Sherlock, he points towards his wife at the other side of the room.) JOHN (his voice full of suppressed tears): But she wasn’t supposed to be like that. (Mrs. Hudson looks across to Mary in shock. Mary lowers her head.) JOHN (to Sherlock, pointing again across the room, his voice a little stronger): Why is SHE** like that? (Sherlock looks away towards the sofa wall for several seconds and then turns to look directly into John’s eyes.) SHERLOCK: Because you chose her. (John stares back at him, his face unreadable. Sherlock holds his gaze. Finally John turns away, speaking conversationally.) JOHN: Why is everything … (he walks towards the dining table, holding up a questioning hand and shrugging) … always … (his voice raises to a loud shout) … MY FAULT?! (He furiously kicks one of the dining chairs across the floor. Mrs Hudson jumps and flails. Even Sherlock jumps a little, but Mary remains still.)

**The unspoken sentiment here is "I did all this to get away from you/what you represent. Mary was supposed to be normal. She was supposed to make ME normal. So why did she turn out to be just like you?" And of course Sherlock goes, "Because you are YOU, and YOU chose her." No matter how hard John tries to be a different person with different needs, at the end of the day he's still John Watson, and John Watson can't help but want what he wants. As furious as he is at Sherlock and Mary, John is ultimately more furious with himself for his inability to shapeshift into a "normal" man who doesn't need the war/Sherlock.

As the series went on, it got harder and harder for me not to read John's outbursts as him taking out his self-hatred/internalized homophobia on Sherlock. John fucking HATES how much he loves Sherlock. He HATES that he needs Sherlock in his life. He HATES that he couldn't find happiness with a normal life and a normal wife. Sherlock tore John's shot at normalcy away from him. He is the face of everything John can't stand about himself. And so we end up with this:

And then...holy fuck, Sherlock's not exactly a ray of sunshine either. Like you pointed out, a part of Sherlock enjoys putting John through these cruel, elaborate life or death simulations. It would've been easy to construe a scenario wherein Sherlock HAD to keep John out of the loop post-Reichenbach, but Moftis opted for a much more fucked up timeline where Sherlock let John believe he'd committed suicide for years because he...kinda wanted to fuck around Europe on his own for a while? Or didn't trust John to put on a good show?

I can massage the story enough to like, come up with a kinder excuse. If John were to find out about Moriarty's web he'd bite and claw his way to Sherlock's side like he always does, and that would put John's life (even more) at risk (a la Sherlock's eventual capture). Maybe on some level Sherlock understood John's desire to escape, too, and thus opted to "free" John from his leash.

It's more difficult to soften Sherlock's decision to reenter John's life when/how he did.

If memory serves...since the show premiered, Sherlock seemed like he was always on the lookout for new and creative ways to hurt himself (whether on John's behalf, for the sake of "the game," or as a kind of release valve for his pain).

Sherlock's constant need to sacrifice (or punish) himself conflicts with his hunger for John's approval. Sherlock would die for John's happiness...but he also needs John around to make him feel smart/loved. He likes to keep John in the dark until the last possible second—to put John in situations that leave him totally at Sherlock's mercy/dependent upon Sherlock's brilliance—to more or less blunt force engineer these moments of awe and intimacy. He's addicted to John as much as John is addicted to Sherlock, and sometimes that manifests in grand gestures of selfless devotion...and sometimes it manifests in fucked up manipulation games that reassert John's dependence on Sherlock/Sherlock's control over John's life.

So yeah. It's all very fucky IMO. And I wouldn't have suddenly loved the show if Moftis had leaned into that reality, but at the very least I'd have felt a lot less gaslit lmao. Sherlock BBC beat me over the head with the toxic yaoi paddle only to scream at me, "THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS AND THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER AND YAY AREN'T YOU HAPPY THEY'RE SUCH A GREAT TEAM YAY IT'S ALL GOOD THEY MADE UP AND THEY'RE GOOD NOW IT'S GOOD FOREVER AND EVER YAY!"

Like I'm sorry, but that finale was not a happy one. It wasn't even bittersweet. It was tragic. Mary literally ends the show with, "Who you really are doesn't matter. It's all about the legend." Sherlock and John represent a refuge to people, Mary says. Their story represents hope. We're told the manipulative, miserable, codependent mess of Sherlock and John's reality "doesn't matter." What matters is the front they present to their audience. If I thought this doublespeak was intentional, I would've applauded Moftis for their commitment to the bit at least. It takes balls to look at a legendary package deal like Doyle's Holmes and Watson (I cannot stress enough how cottage-core soft these two are with each other) and say, "What if I made that relationship super fucked up?" But the whole show stinks of empty promises, like Moftis MEANT to tell a story about a fraught but ultimately beautiful (platonic) partnership. What we GOT was a gay horror story about two very traumatized guys who couldn't escape each other's gravitational pull. I mean...pick a lane. Don't TELL me these two love each other like a couple of pals and then SHOW me John catapult between yearnful dreams of Sherlock's face and like, punting Sherlock's broken body into a wall of metal lockers.

Okay, rant over HHHHHHH

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[vhaos-chaotic-writing]

Another Vocaloid song that I am relating to Transformers - this time, for the Tranformers Earthspark series. Not gonna lie, I haven't 100% watched the show, but of course, my obsession for Starscream had me watching the youtube compilation videos or tiktoks about all the scenes he was on. And this time, centering on the MegaStar side...

( ‵▽′)ψ ~

HURTING FOR A VERY HURTFUL PAIN (EZFG ft. VY2 & VY1)

WARNING: The following post and music video may contain topics about toxic relationships, PTSD, etc.

So - yeah, the ultimate Toxic yaoi - Megatron and Starscream. I've always been so into their dynamic and how truly dysfunctional-destructive they can be to one another. But something is clear, and thanks to the Earthspark series for bringing up that topic - there has always been a power imbalance with the two of them, being Megatron the last one to truly give the final punches to the seeker and more than that; and for Starscream (both fairly and unfairly) having his trauma and situation invalidated by others.

Like, I saw a video on youtube that analized the whole episode where Starscream gets to interact (and connect) with Hashtag, and I was dead ass when the guy on the video pointed out how Starscream kept seein the Decepticon's mark on Megatron even when it was long gone and replaced by G.H.O.S.T's insigna and that it would always appear whenever Megatron was beating him in the fights.

And you can see Starscream's fear. And you can see his fear in any other variation of his - Starscream's behaviour comes from constant abuse and his taken 'hurt others if you want to survive' ideas.

(LET MY BABYGIRL GO!!) (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

And of course, not only is Starscream the one suffering. Megatron is also suffering - my man over here trying to change after realizing he has been doing things wrong, but things are so complicated and you can see he gets hurt each time he gets called traitor and such.

[ Yadda yadda, Vhaos - we understand this. Now, what about the Vocaloid song? ]

VY2 represents perfectly Megatron's point of view, while VY1 could be Starscream.

"Don't come near, don't come here. Don't let it get you so excited - don't pay it any mind. Just stop shouting your head off. Go away, go away, yes - I'll be gone into thin air soon enough, so feign normalcy, and put up with it." - Starscream's taking his leave - "Nowhere is safe if it's with you."

"Oh, it hurt, the pain's so bad. Why does it hurt so bad as this? Ah, I want to tell you how much it hurts. I want you to be the only one to know. Oh, it's awful, so very awful. Why does it feel so bad as this? I want you, it's you I want. The pain is right here in my chest..." - potential "Megatron realizing he loved Starscream but both had become toxic and he has partaken the abuser's role more than nothing."

And now take the minute 1:50 to the very end of the video - a sparkbreaking where Megatron realizes about everything, but it is overwhelming. And thinking when Starscream leaves that pain in his chest is going to leave - Starscream is free, free from the abuse he has inflicted on him for so long, therefore, he will be free to... then why does it hurt so much? Why hasn't the pain left?

After all, both have been hurting for a very hurtful pain.

Potential angsty fanfictions, yes yes. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Leaving the video about Starscream PTSD - good soup.

(●'◡'●) Ending my rambling here because I feel I've lost my own narrative thread and I am too delulu rn - Vhaos out!

[wonderer399]

Antis are now playing their dirty pathetic game again...Their plan was to mass report shipper accounts while people are in their summer break! They mass reported our top 2 sebaciel shipper accounts!! Therefore these 2 Sebaciel shipper accounts are now permanently banned or deactivated !! They even flagged my recent sebaciel post out of pure hateful spite!!

I have been watching BB since 2012 ( I was like 14 at that time, almost same as Ciel's age and height ) and shipping Sebaciel as I have fallen in love with their love for each other...Sebastian is just soo perfect anime man in my eyes...I will defend Sebastian no matter what ... Sebastian is the best for Ciel's wellbeing....BB is my comfort anime which I truly adore and Sebaciel is the main purpose why BB have become such comfort anime of mine...mainly because of their complex dynamic of sebaciel!! Sebaciel is my happiness!! I never stopped shipping them...I like other yaoi ships as well but sebaciel is my comfort ship above all!

Antis live in the similar motto of 'Playing violent videogames like COD makes you a real life mass shooter'....if that's true then Japan and South Korea would beat the US charts in the mass shooting satistics....it is as same as 'Proshippers are pedophiles' stupid statement... Am I a pedophile then? I personally stay miles away from kids as I find them annoying...when will they learn that Fiction =/= Reality ?!?!

Antis call us 'Proshitters' ...we proshippers don't care what you call us ....If you don't like it, then you shouldn't engage with it . But don't ruin other people's happiness just because of your own personal morals, opinion and personal values. Everyone has their own personal freedom and rights , falsely accusing of someone then reporting to tumblr A.I. police LMAO!!

From the deepest respect of deactivated fellow Sebaciel shippers :

#1 @Lunerium

#2 @Cielconsumer

Fellow remaining loyal sebaciel proshippers, Please find a tumblr loop hole where you can restore these account or any actions against cyber bully? please let me know...

We need to Avenge Lunerium and Cielconsumer ....We need to stop this mess!! If this keeps happening someday I will get vanished too...Antis will start filliping tables when will they see canon sebaciel in green witch arc! We need to stick up for each other!

Thank you for listening to my ted talk !

[goldenbunniesxo]

i read the yuri zine hosted by @tshirt3000 and the piece specifically by Alexis TheSwordWizard (i cannot find your @ anywhere i am so sorry) actually changed my brain chemistry. it literally solved like, 90% of the debate i'd been having in my head about my gender?? and made me realise a part of why i am so obsessed with/fascinated by yuri-fying my favourite yaoi even though i am not neccessarily lesbian or trans (i think. just aro.) its truly such good analysis everyone should read it. the paragraph that especially stuck out to me was this one: “Putting femaleness on a pedestal holds us back in every regard. We get female characters that must fit into stereotypical boxes of “girl character” or else someone is trying to say that the typical (and frankly, stereotypical) image of womanhood isn’t good enough. Anything that shifts from stereotypical femininity is an inherent shift towards masculinity. It’s admitting defeat. But this really just limits womanhood."

Like specifically the part about "admitting defeat" is exactly part of what made me grapple so much with my desire(??) to present more masculine. like i am imprinting "female masculinity" onto my soul omd. and then also:

"Writing women, writing yuri, cannot be seen as something more limiting than writing men, and writing yaoi. We need to have room for play, for experimentation, and for alternate forms of femininity, for female masculinity as we do for masculinity, and for masculine femininity."

this made me realise why yuri used to feel more limiting or less interesting than yaoi. the sacrosant treatment of femininity.....lack of autonomy and interiority given to our treatment of female characters...but mainly how we don't allow ourselves the room for play through that....

and then finally this:

“I sacrifice their cisgendered maleness to project and grow myself into as an extension of what is a woman.”

LIKE WOW. YES. THIS IS EXACTLY IT??? sorry this is not be counteranalysing much this post is more for me but also to share with people how good this is because my god does this touch on cornerstones of my feelings and experiences lately.

[ozzgin]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳🎉🎂🎈🎁

Your rodents are adorable. Thank you for sharing their sweet lil faces. I hope you can have a great birthday! ☺️

Let us also be thankful that you were nutted into existence to share all your love and slutty stories with the world! None of us would be the same without you!😘

-👘

There was a time when the first birthday wish of the day was the autogenerated email from yaoi otaku forums. Now I’m congratulated for bypassing a post-nut clarity. What a time to be alive, eh?

Jokes aside, thank you everyone for the nice wishes! If you want another chortle this evening, my cake design (sadly didn’t come out as clear in the actual cake photos) was tracksuit Astarion. Carefully crafted by yours truly.