#yall know he has separation anxiety after all this shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drakenology · 4 years ago

Text

My Other Half. - Bokuto Kōtarō

warnings: smut, soft, passionate love making, fluff, angst?, best friends to lovers, maaaybe overstim?, praise, fem!reader, cunnilingus (a fancy word for pussy eating). just bokuto going all out to make you feel good.

Summary: Two childhood friends reunite after years of being separated to find old memories and new feelings of love.

Author’s Note: this is my first ever like fluffy piece. all my other work I feel has just been raunchy and I wanted to show yall my soft side. enjoy! <3

Bokuto Kotoro. A name you knew well. A name you knew since you were both kids playing in dirt together, running around and screaming without a care in the world. Two peas in a pod; like Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. It was a sad day when he moved away. Your only friend packed up and left for Tokyo, tears in his eyes as he sat in the backseat of his parents’ car. He waved goodbye through the glass window as the car drove away, a trail of his tears seeming to follow the car as it went. That was the last time you saw him.

When you turned twenty one, your birthday present was a small house in Japan. Some place rural and quiet to do your writing, a small creek flowing in your back yard. You packed up and left home, kissing your mother and father goodbye as you walked out the door. Maybe you’ll run into Bokuto? Hell, he probably won’t even recognize you. It’s been years after all.

You still hoped some how some way fate would bring you together again. You missed him like crazy. His laugh, his stupid jokes. That sparkle in his eyes when he saw you at school. The bear hugs he used to give when you scraped your knee playing with him at the park. It was crazy to assume he’d be waiting for you in Tokyo as if you were the only girl he’d ever meet or care to talk to.

He’s grown now, just about a year older than you. He could have a significant other by now. Your heart ached at the thought. Even though it was selfish to call dibs on a childhood crush who hasn’t seen you in over 10 years, you still hoped; prayed that he was waiting for you or at least remembered you.

When you arrive in your new home and settle in you decide to take the town. Surely you can make some friends, maybe even meet a guy while you’re out? You don’t bother to get all gussied up, walking outside your front door and walking to the nearest bar you can drink your inhibitions away in. The bar you found was small and smelled a bit like sweaty athletes and sake.

The atmosphere was lively despite the off putting smell, everyone was laughing and chatting aloud. The sounds of glasses clinking in celebration and jovial cheering filled the space. You smile softly at the sight of everyone having a great time and find a spot in a nice booth by the window.

The guys behind you must be where the sweaty smell was coming from, their clammering laughter pounding at your head. You try ignoring it until you hear a different yet familiar voice; boisterous and proud like a boy you once knew.

“Yo, Akaashi! Pass the ketchup man, I’m hungry!” He whined childishly, same as always. You turn around swiftly to see if the face matched the voice. Surely enough there he was sitting there, tall as a tree even when sitting in his seat.

God he got so handsome, his face definitely grew into his looks. Bokuto wasn’t a little boy anymore for sure. You stammer, looking between Bokuto and his messy haired friend sitting next to him and a few others. You go to say something only for your own anxiety to stop you, your heart fluttering in your chest in a new way you haven’t felt before.

Finally Bokuto’s eyes meet yours and you both sit there for a while just staring, as if each of you couldn’t believe you were seeing each other again after all this time in forever. Bokuto’s face crept into a smile; a familiar smile that melted your heart.

“Y/n-chan? Tell me you’re joking! I can’t believe it’s you!” Bokuto shouts over everyone’s conversation, leaping from his seat and running towards your booth. You’re still stuck there turned around looking like an owl gawking at the table behind you to realize what’s going on.

Bokuto practically lifts you from your seat and wraps you in one of his famous bear hugs, the ones that made you cry into his chest. As tradition called, you start sobbing into his shirt. Your arms wrap around his neck and pull him in tight almost to tell him not to let you go ever again.

“Hey hey hey.. why are you crying? Shit you’re gonna make me cry. Stop it.” Bokuto says into your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into your back with his big hand.

“I-I’m sorry I just.. it’s been so long.” You admit, sniffling as he pulled away to wipe your face. You can’t help but get emotional at the sight of him.

“Geez, Y/N if you missed me just say that.” Bokuto teased, erupting into furious laughter at your flustered face.

“Oh shut up Bokuto!” You squeak, punching him in his side like the old days. Your usual banter made you two look at each other and laugh as if you two were the only ones in the bar, his friends staring at the the two of you as if you were insane.

“Uh Bokuto.. who is this woman?” The messy haired friend asked, looking about the most confused out of everyone.

“Huh? Oh! Sorry guys. This is Y/N Y/L/N. Other than Akaashi, she’s one my closest friends. Our moms were close so we were raised kinda like siblings.” Bokuto explained, nudging you to say hello.

You wave and introduce yourself, the everyone ooing and ahhing at you. Not to toot your horn but you were gorgeous. Even Bokuto couldn’t take his eyes off you.

He was thinking of how well you grew up, so stunning and so you. Bokuto remembers the little scar you had just above your eyebrow from tripping over and rock and smiles when he sees it, almost wanting to reach out and poke it like when he did when he was 10. He wonders if you remember that day.

You were playing pretend by the trees in the park, you were good and he was evil. You were chasing him and you tripped and fell, causing the evil doer act to shed away to make sure you were alright. You both made up a crazy story about your scar to your mother; which she never believed. Good times.

The rest of the night was spent catching up and talking like he wasn’t even with others originally. Everyone else eventually had gone home, Akaashi the last to go. He waved goodbye to you and Bokuto and drove home, you and Bokuto still sitting at the bar basking in each other’s company.

“Wow! So your parents got you a place here so you can work? Nice. And you live nearby too. So I can come and visit you and- sorry I’m rambling.” Bokuto says sheepishly, running his hands along the nape of his neck. You giggle, taking a sip of your drink.

“No no, you’re fine Bokuto. Of course you can visit. My house is your house.” You smile, Bokuto’s cheeks heating up as he blushed. You check the time and notice it was far too late and stand from your seat.

“It’s late, Kō, we should call it a night.” You say, grabbing your things. Bokuto smiles and stands up with a stretch of his limbs; relishing in his old nickname.

“Come on. I’ll walk you home.”

You two talk and talk all the way home, years of catching up to do feeling long over due. When you get to your home you almost feel sad that you’re about to depart from each other. It felt like you weren’t going to see him again. Bokuto pulls you into a hug, spinning you around a little. He laughs when you squeal and yell at him to put you down.

“Hey. I’ll come by tomorrow night so we can watch movies.” He declares, standing you on your feet.

“Hah. How do you know I won’t have plans, hm?” You teased, poking Bokuto’s forehead. It was a lot easier when you were younger since he was shorter than you back then. Boy sprouted like a palm tree.

“You just moved here. Besides. You know I’m your favorite.” Bokuto smirks, taking your hand and spinning you. You giggle and punch his shoulder lightly.

“As if, Kō. See ya tomorrow.”

A month goes by swiftly. Bokuto had been over to your house more often than you thought he’d be. You loved the time you spent together just goofing off and being big kids.

Your schedules worked perfectly together, his volleyball is usually done by the evening and your work is over just after him. Bokuto would pick you up from work with fast food waiting in the car for you both to eat together. Today was no different, the smell of fries greeting your hungry nose as you climb inside his car.

“Yo! How was your day, nerd?” Bokuto asks, fisting his fries into his mouth as you dig for yours.

“It was okay. I’m starving though.” You say, stuffing your face with your food.

You both sit in the car and eat for a while, Bokuto’s phone breaking your shared silence. You look down at where it rested in the cup holder and read the caller id. It was a girl. Bokuto answers the phone, sounding as if he didn’t want her to call him right at this moment.

“I’ll call you back. Bye.” He said, hanging up his phone and sitting it back in the cup holder. You couldn’t help but feel a little jealous, your heart sinking as your head makes up several sceanarios about who she was, what she meant to him.

You eat in silence, answering Bokuto’s yammering with no ambition. Bokuto’s so dumb he doesn’t even notice the difference in attitude as the call wasn’t as scandalous as you seemed. It was just some girl who was trying to get with Akaashi but was too afraid to say anything herself so she had asked Bokuto to set them up.

“My place or yours today?” He asked, sing songy and happy.

“Mine.” You say monotonously. Bokuto looks over at you and sees you’re not even facing him, your face stuck to the window as he drove off.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I smell?” Bokuto said, playfully smelling his armpits. You shake your head and insist it’s nothing and that you’ll get over it. But it wasn’t nothing, and you were pretty certain you weren’t going to get over it. Was that his girlfriend? Some random hook up looking for another round? It made you sick to your stomach thinking about it. You got out of the car when Bokuto parked, walking to your front door to unlock it as Bokuto followed behind you.

“I pick the movie out this time. I’ll be damned if you pick another chick flick out.” Bokuto says plopping on your couch and turning on the tv, making himself at home.

You sigh and walk into your room to change into something more comfortable, rolling your eyes as you hear Kōtarō yell about the movie starting. You walk out in shorts and a tank top since it was pretty hot inside and sit next to him, folding your arms.

Bokuto’s eating his snacks and talking through the whole movie since he’s seen it before. He always picks a movie he’s seen before so he can tell you the whole plot, forgetting that you could just watch the movie for that. You half laugh and sigh at all his mannerisms, your guard completely blocking him out from getting any closer to you.

“Is something wrong, Y/N? Seriously you’re being a little stand offish.” Bokuto says, a serious tone taking place. You scoffed, rolling your eyes to hide that you’re obviously upset by something.

“Nothing.” You snide.

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me. Somethin’s wrong. Don’t make me start guessing.” Bokuto says. You sigh.

“It’s so stupid.” You admit.

“How you feel isn’t stupid. Tell me what’s up.” He persisted, pausing the movie.

“I just- well.. I-How do I say this? I’m.. jealous?” You finally admit. Bokuto raises an eyebrow.

“Jealous? About what?”

“Well. I saw a girl call you and I-I just assumed it was your girlfriend so..”

“Wait what? I don’t have a girlfriend. And besides why would you care?” Bokuto further questions, his face nearing yours with a perplexed look on his face. You flush, turning your face away from his.

“I-I don’t know I just-“

“You’re in love with me, aren’t you Y/N?” Bokuto smirks, turning your head to face him with your chin. You blink up at him, embarrassed and flustered.

“I-um-I...” You stutter. You loved the idiot sitting next to you with all your heart. But to say it was a different story.

“Because I love you too. So say it back.” Bokuto declares. You freeze for a moment, almost unsure you heard what you just heard.

“R-Really?”

“I love you, Y/N. The moment I saw you again felt like...fate. It was like everything made sense again. I never realized how much tou meant to me until I left that day. You’re my other half.” He says to you so sweetly, his words stirring up emotions inside you that were aching to be let out. Your eyes sting as you choke back tears, clutching onto Bokuto’s hands.

“Kōtarō... I-I love you too. All those years felt so empty without you. And God I just wanted to kiss you that day at the bar and I-“

Bokuto stops you midsentence to pull his face into yours and kiss you hard, your heads bumping into each other a bit from the sudden movement. Passion flowed through the kiss, your mouths exploring each others for the very first time. You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck as you go to straddle him.

Bokuto welcomes you onto his lap with ready hands, palms feeling every curve and divot of your body. Your need for each other grew with each kiss, mindlessly grinding against each other to feel closer. Every touch of his big hands made you feel alive, setting your body on fire. Bokuto starts to whine softly, his pants growing a tad bit tight at all the raw kissing. He pulled away, lips swollen and breathing uneven.

“I want you so badly. Can I-“ Bokuto goes to ask for consent, his nervousness making him struggle to find the words he’s looking for.

You shut him up with another kiss, already knowing what he wants to say as he lifts you up and carries you away. Starting in the kitchen he sits you on the counter as he takes off your top, your bare breasts popping out when the garment flies over your head and onto the floor. He’s never seen such gorgeous breasts before, he swore. Seeing you this way only made him long for you more, standing there dumb founded at the sight of your chest.

“W-Wow.” Bokuto gasps, taking both your breasts into his hands and oogling at them with love in his eyes. “So perfect.”

He takes one into his warm mouth, your body arching at the feeling and letting out a small whine. Music to his ears.

“Kō..” you sigh, closing your eyes as he suckled on your nipples.

His tongue slid over each hardened bud and looked up at you, studying your body language to learn it well. Without a word he slides off your shorts and pick you up again, hoisting you away to your bedroom after asking where it is.

Frantic kisses and breathless moans trail down the hall with a reach of the doorknob. You’re laid carefully onto the bed, Bokuto crawling on top of you without daring to pull his lips from yours just yet.

He could kiss you for hours. He could die right now and be completely content all because of this moment. Bokuto takes his hands and slides them down to the waist band of your panties, tugging them down to reveal your dripping core.

Bokuto teased his fingers along your slick folds, savoring the feeling of your wetness on his skin.

You let out the sweetest sounds he’s ever heard, urging him to draw more music from your lips. He crawls downwards towards your pussy, laying on his stomach and pulling your hips forward.

You gasp at the sudden feeling of his tongue parting your folds, mewling as you arch your back. His tongue worked its magic on you, sliding up to your clit to pay special attention to it. Breathless calls of his name fill the air, your hands grabbing fist fulls of the sheets as he fucked you with his tongue.

Your eyes roll back with every swipe of his tongue, relishing in the toe curling pleasure he gave you. That familiar knot started forming in the pit of your stomach, your moans increasing in volume as you near your orgasm. Bokuto must have sensed this and wrapped his plush lips around your throbbing clit, prodding his fingers at your weeping hole to fill you.

“Kō! I-I’m gonna cum!” You whine, your hands finding home in his hair and tugging lightly. Bokuto responded with a groan against your clit and a hook in his fingers, causing you to boil over without hesitation. Your thighs shake around his head, one hand covering your mouth to spare your neighbors the noise. Bokuto comes back up to kiss you, your slick coating his lips and chin. You taste your sweetness and kiss him with tongue, both of you sighing into each other.

“Wanna... be inside you.” Bokuto says breathlessly into the kiss, his dick aching to be let out of his pants.

You pull away and unbutton his jeans, Bokuto kicking them off onto the floor and pulling down his boxers. Your pussy throbbed at the sight of his dick, its sheer size enough to make you salivate. The way it swung a little when he took off his boxers, the prominent veins running along the shaft, its head blushing and leaking with precum. Bokuto had a gorgeous dick. You almost wanted to put it in your mouth but the heat of the moment called for a different hole to be filled.

Bokuto prods himself at your entrance and slowly slides inside you, inhaling sharply at the contact. You gasp at the dull stretch, feeling so full as you mewl uncontrollably. His hips roll slowly, thrusting deep inside your gummy walls as he rested his forehead onto yours. Your legs wrap around his waist, nails digging into the skin of his back as he picked up the pace.

“You feel so good, baby.” He spoke, kissing you gently to soothe you. You can feel him so deeply it almost brought a tear to your eye, his plunging movements sending your mind into a stupor.

He mummbled sweet praise against your neck, kissing the soft skin as he took you. A part of him wanted to go harder; really ruin that sweet face of yours and turn you into a lewd mess, but you mean more than that to him. This moment is nothing but pure love between two people who have known each other all their lives. You shriek as his hips start slamming into yours, back arching off the bed as your nipples pebbled against his chest.

“I-I love you, Bokuto.” You whine. Your eyes flash white, your vision becoming foggy as the mind boggling pleasure ripples through your body. You chant his name like a mantra, Bokuto mumbling how much he loves you as his hips do more of the talking. You feel him throb inside you, it becoming obvious he’s holding back so you can cum first. He’s rubbing circles into your clit as he pins your legs above your head. It all became so much so fast, your mewls spewing from your lips no longer caring who hears what.

“Let go for me, baby. C’mon..” He hums, nibbling on your neck. You scream, your tight cunny clenching down on his length as you cum for a second time that night. Bokuto rides out your orgasm, watching your body shake and shiver at the feeling of him sliding in and out of your weeping hole.

Bokuto doesn’t have time to think of where to cum, your walks sucking him in so well he loses all sense of control. He cums hot inside you, your pussy milking him for everything he had as he pants into your neck. You both stay in position for a while, looking at each other with love sick eyes. Bokuto rests himself on top of you, still nuzzled inside you as his cum leaks onto the sheets. You’re both out of breath, sitting in the high you both came to as you rub lazy circles into his back.

Nothing but pure love circulated the air as you rest together in bed, naked and vulnerable. You don’t say anything but soft I love yous to each other, gentle kisses on each others lips as you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smut #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu headcanons #queue made me do it 🥴

368 notes · View notes

slightlymore · 5 years ago

Text

no, thank you

part of the Pride Universe

jaemin x fem reader

others: haechan (mentioned in jaemin's thoughts but not present in the real plot)

genre: smut with plot, roommates au, mentions of university (jaemin is a med student), angst, fluff, very +18 tho

warnings: very! rough! smut! (brat taming, oral, masturbation, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, denial, slight degradation, restriction, manhandling, bath tub is one of the locations), short mentions of mlm (jaemin x haechan fwb in the past), yn comes off rude in the beginning but it's necessary for character development, yn has an anxiety attack, angsty

words: 11.3K

this is kinda good if I say so myself, yall have to read 👁️ if you don't like mlm or memberxmember I promise it's just a short bit of fluff/angst connecting it to Cute~ and that's all lol, the plot is very jaeminxreader centered

Jaemin has been told that he can't say no to people. Yes, he will come to the party. Yes, he can help with the moving out. Yes, he can help you with Anatomy. Yes, that kind of anatomy as well.

The only time Jaemin would say no is when people would ask if he’s busy or tired. No, I’m fine. No, everything is alright.

"Do you ever sleep, Jaemin?" Haechan asked once.

His soft and sleepy voice made Jaemin smile. He wrapped the boy’s waist even tighter, tugging Haechan’s body against his.

“Of course I do.” Haechan chuckled. “When?” “When you’re not here”, the other whispered. “Lies. You’re studying when I’m not here. Look at what kind of service I’m doing. Fucking you so that you can just lie in bed and fall asleep.” Jaemin smiled again and ghosted Haechan’s forehead with his lips ready to place a kiss on the other’s warm skin. He stopped himself before doing so. “Yeah, thank you for your service.”

But since Haechan started to date some guy, there was no one to force him into bed and make Jaemin rest.

The boy would drift off to unconsciousness for a little while every night, head pressed into his med school books, mind full of notions and caffeine. He would stay like that for an indefinite amount of time, not enough to fully fall asleep but enough to being shaken to the core when he would wake up, batting his eyelashes as his unfocused gaze tried to make sense of his surroundings. Then he would get up slowly from his uncomfortable chair and drag his feet to the kitchen to make his nth cup of coffee for the night.

Jaemin has never had a roommate and it was probably because of Haechan. Said boy wouldn’t have cared less if someone was in the other room, listening to their moans, but Jaemin didn’t like that. Instead, he loved it when Haechan would pull up to his doorstep unannounced, eyes either wide with tears or tight with lust. Because the choice was Jaemin. It was always Jaemin. Haechan needed him and Jaemin loved it. He couldn’t have other distractions. No flatmates knocking on the door and complaining. Just him and Haechan, on his bed, on the couch, on the kitchen counters, against the entrance door, on the floor, in the shower. Jaemin didn’t know, but it wasn’t just him doing Haechan a favour, maybe quite the opposite. Because Jaemin has been also told that he doesn’t ask for help. He doesn’t let people know about his needs, or whatever. But Haechan was aware of that. It took Jaemin a little while to notice it, especially since the other was already gone, but more often than not, Haechan would just show up for no apparent reason. “Nothing happened,” he would say, “I was just horny.” But Haechan would come for him. Because that’s how Haechan was. He could see people very well and he could see Jaemin when he needed something, or when he was exhausted and needed a simple hug, or when he didn’t sleep in days or having eaten nothing more than a single cup of instant noodles. They were friends with benefits but the benefits sometimes were just lying beside each other and talk, or order in some food while watching a movie. Sometimes they would just kiss for a long time, during nights where Haechan felt weaker, and those were Jaemin’s favourite nights. “You should sleep now,” the older would whisper against his lips and Jaemin would reply with a short-breathed yeah, in a second, before letting his tongue inside the other’s mouth slowly for another hour or so. Some people might have said that Jaemin was in love, but the boy had no idea himself whether that was the case or not and he didn’t want to think about that. Jaemin didn’t like thinking at all. But he loved it when others did and he loved to think about their thoughts instead of his own. He wanted to know people’s reasons and why they behaved in a certain manner so that he could understand himself without actively trying to.

“So, what do you think?” Jaemin was standing proud in the middle of his spot-free living room, hands on his hips, like a housewife expecting compliments from her housewive friends.

“Could be better,” you mumbled, biting your nails, barely looking around.

When you found Jaemin’s pretty written paper renting a room on the university notice board, you did assume he was a girl.

“What could be better?” he smiled at you.

You stared back, sensing sarcasm but upon seeing the boy’s genuine expression you realized how naive he was.

“I don’t know. The roommate maybe?” you rolled your eyes and walked towards your assigned room, dragging your suitcase carelessly on the nice wooden floor. “I’m staying, by the way,” you yelled after closing your door with your foot with a loud bang.

____

You have been told a lot of stuff during your life. Selfish, rude, uncaring, insensitive.

It would make you angry.

You would yell back that it’s not true making people step back and add some more adjectives that you wouldn’t want to use while describing yourself in class.

You fought that back a lot, crying secretly under your covers, terrorized of being alone by yourself, afraid of being alone with such a bad person.

You fought and fought until one day you just stared back at those people.

So what? you found yourself thinking. Perhaps I am. Yeah. I am selfish and I don’t give a shit. So what about that? What are you all going to do?

And when you ignored people, they started to ignore you as well.

And slowly, everyone knew that no, you would not help them with their homework, no, you didn’t want to go to their stupid party, no, you didn’t give a shit about their new college charity event.

And you didn’t give a single fuck about Jaemin’s rules.

“So, you can actually do whatever you want, really. The only things I ask of you is-,” he tried to speak to you the first morning of you living together.

You turned your music loudly on purpose the previous night as you settled in. You wanted to see the boy come knocking on your door and finally throw away his polite mask as everyone does around you after a few minutes of knowing you. Because you’re rude and it’s better for them to just know that from the start.

The thing you hated the most was people giving you a little hope, that maybe you’re likeable and they wouldn’t turn their backs on you. Yet, you’ve quickly realized that it is impossible. Not with you. Not since you’re such a horrible person.

“Yeah, I don’t care,” you replied, one of Jaemin’s red apples between your teeth, a little juice glistening on your lips after you bit down. They were prettily on display in the middle of the kitchen island with a little vase of fresh flowers kept them company on the right.

The boy looked at your mouth for a second before locking eyes with you. “Okay,” he simply replied grabbing an apple himself. “I’m glad you like apples. I was afraid they would go to waste-,” but he didn’t complete the sentence, one hand suspended in the air, eyes wide as you let the piece of apple you were munching on fall on the ground as well as the fruit you were holding.

“These apples are actually disgusting,” you commented then you both listened to the sound the apple made as it rolled into the living room and stopped as it met the soft rug.

That was it.

It wasn’t your fault that this boy had more patience than your previous flatmates and you had to go stronger on him.

Kick me out? Are you going to kick me out now? Come on. Kick me out.

But Jaemin didn’t look mad.

After the initial confusion, he just put his apple back on top of the others and grabbed a paper towel. He knelt in front of you as you stood there with crossed arms and picked up your half munched bite of fruit and threw it away. Then he walked the few steps separating the kitchen island to the living room and picked up the apple as well, giving it the same journey towards the trash.

You scoffed.

Jaemin still didn’t say anything and grabbed a pan out of the cabinets. “I’m making pancakes,” he announced calmly. “I don’t like pancakes,” you acted like a kid but the feeling gripping at your throat was something new and you didn’t know how to behave.

This Jaemin guy made you angrier than other people.

Jaemin turned around to face you. “What do you like, Y/N?”

You stared back for a few seconds at his neutral and unbothered face, then shoulder bumped him as you walked away. Grabbing your backpack from the ground you just slammed the entrance door on your way out.

You knew you were annoying. You also hated yourself just like everyone hated you. But you couldn’t help it. It has happened before. You let yourself believe that maybe you were kind and sweet, that you had a caring heart, that people would like you. Yet, soon after, they would finally realize that you weren’t like that at all. That you were a monster trying to put on an act. So you liked the idea of people seeing the worst you could be first, so they could just leave if they couldn’t handle it.

And no one could. Yet this Jaemin dude didn't budge.

You came home late that day and you noticed the way Jaemin turned off his music as he heard you enter your room.

God, you hated him.

And the morning after he was already in the kitchen, hair wet on his forehead, a white towel around his neck.

He smiled like an angel.

"Eggs and bacon?"

You ignored him.

And the morning after again. "Fruit?" Door slam.

And another morning again. "Maybe cappuccino and croissants?" he wondered. Again.

"Porridge?" "Okay! Okay. Fuck. Okay", you finally replied.

It was the weekend and you had no excuse to dramatically leave the apartment as you did the previous days when you had to go to class. You were standing in the same spot in front of the kitchen island as the first day when you made a fool out of yourself by spitting out a piece of an apple.

"I'm fine with whatever,” you added quietly. "Toast?" Jaemin raised his eyes from underneath his fringe before his hand could throw the locks back revealing the forehead.

You shrugged.

He smiled excitedly and got busy around the cabinets, the scent of his aftershave intimidating you.

Walking around him silently you sat up on the kitchen stools, placing your hands on the marble and looked down, uneasy. It was alright if Jaemin was kind now then would start hate you afterwards. You could rest for a little bit, right? You could just put down your shield and breathe. It’s not like you would become friends if the made you breakfast.

"How did the week go? You guys have many exams?" Jaemin's voice slightly startled you.

Looking up you saw that he was already looking at you, two white plates in front of him with two pieces of hot toast. You stared back for a second then looked at the way his hands spread jam on the bread.

"It was alright," you found yourself speaking.

How was yours? You probably should have asked. But you didn't care and you were afraid to randomly engage in more than a few words long conversations.

"Here," Jaemin placed the food in front of you then he licked his thumb. Thank you, you should have said. But Jaemin didn't look bothered.

After a few moments of silence during which you couldn't bring yourself to start eating, Jaemin sighed like a British person would while slapping their knees when announcing they should go.

"Alright. I'll eat in my room. I have a lot of stuff to do,” he announced and left with the plate. You stared at his back as he lazily dragged his feet towards the corridor and when you heard his door close you finally tasted the toast.

_____

A scared cat. An angry and scared cat.

This was the first thing Jaemin thought when he saw you.

Honestly, he almost lost it on the first day but kept it in together when he saw the way your hands trembled while being confronted. Then all of his anger died.

No, I don't care, you told him yet you didn't turn up your music loudly again after the first night and you never bothered him. It was almost as if you weren't even there.

What a nicely crafted facade, Jaemin would think, hands behind his head, a pencil between his lips, an open manual on his chest, eyes directed towards an indefinite point on his ceiling.

It was very late at night. His phone buzzed once and the boy stared at the "apartment empty, wanna come?" text.

Yeah, he could use some of that.

And he would have been at his friend's place by now if a weird noise wouldn't have stopped him from putting on his shoes.

It was coming from your room, a small choked sound, barely audible that Jaemin wouldn't have heard it in other circumstances. He walked the corridor slowly until gently stopping in front of you door, a slight blush covering his cheeks. Could it be-?

But no.

Jaemin heard a fair share of whimpering girls before and you definitely weren't enjoying yourself. So he knocked, suddenly worried. "Y/N?" You didn't reply, only a little whimper being caught by Jaemin's ears. "Y/N, is everything alright?" He waited, face almost pressed on the cool wood. Another choking sound and "I'm coming in, now,” he announced and you couldn't stop him.

Sat on your bed, wet cheeks from crying and irregular breaths, you looked up like a scared deer, sliding back when Jaemin walked towards you. "Shh, it's alright," he whispered with a calm voice, hands in front of himself as he sat down in front of you.

"Don't touch me. Go away," you flinched, hiding your face from his gaze.

Jaemin had a reassuring face when he spoke again. "I won't touch you if you don’t want me to."

"Go away. Leave me alone," you repeated with a feeble voice, arms pulling your knees to your chest.

Jaemin looked at you for a few moments, your baby blue pyjama and irregular breath, then he gently sat down on the bed in front of you and crossed his legs.

"Do you take medicine?" he asked softly. You shook your head. "Okay. Then, will you look at me?" You sobbed and furtively raised your eyes to meet his for a short moment before looking away. "It's alright. You're doing great." Jaemin's voice was low, articulating every word slowly and he didn't move. "It's scary, I know. But there's no danger now. I'm protecting you." His eyes were trained on your face and you finally let yourself stare back fully.

"Imitate me," he spoke again, breathing in and out slowly. A little sob escaped your lips before you could do the same.

"Good. You're doing amazing. Slowly," he cooed and you did just that for an indeterminate amount of times, the silence engulfig you both until you looked down and saw your fingers wrapped around Jaemin's hands.

You let them go surprised but your palms liked how soothing touching another human’s skin felt.

His was soft and warm, and you concentrated on the way the heat spread to your cold hands, holding them again timidly.

Then you let yourself fall on the pillows, eyes looking up at the ceiling, the sobs getting more time between each other.

Jaemin remained still for a moment, as if unsure what to do, then he slowly moved to the side, walking on all fours until resting on the bed beside you.

A little stronger whine shook your frame again though and he slightly rolled over, rising on his elbow the other hand above your body.

"I'm-- going to touch your diaphragm. Is this alright?"

You bit your lower lip then nodded.

"Okay, breathe in again, keep it for one second, then release slowly."

You inhaled, staring at Jaemin's big eyes as if looking for approval. His hand ghosted your stomach until finally resting on your body right underneath your bust.

"That's right," he spoke softly. "Now, again.”

You repeated the exercise, feeling Jaemin's warm palm through the clothes every time your rib cage expanded.

"Again," he breathed in with you, keeping it, then releasing it.

After a while your mind felt like white, blood fully oxygenated, Jaemin’s non-invading and calming presence actually making you feel better.

Yet your heartbeat couldn't stop beating and Jaemin could feel it.

"Again," his low voice made your arms skin shiver with goosebumps, your breathing getting irregular instead of steady.

"Focus on my hand and your breath," he said but his gaze falling on your slightly open lips wasn't helping you focus at all.

He blinked and looked up into your eyes again.

It was even worse. "Jaemin, I'm fine now.”

The boy blinked a few times and retrieved his hand slowly.

Your breath calmed down and Jaemin took it for a good sign since he returned to his side of the bed.

It became silent so suddenly that you could hear Jaemin swallow.

Thank you? Thank you for being here? Or, thank you for helping me out. Sorry for slapping your hand away? Is this what you should have said, right?

“Then, I’ll be going now,” his soft voice disrupted the silence and your bed creaked in the darkness as he presumably got up.

No, wait, wait.

"Why do I become like this at night?" you whispered instead.

Jaemin’s silhouette against your dark blue windows moved around and lied on the bed again, this time on his stomach, bust raised on his elbows, eyes probably on the shadows of your face.

"It's because the front part of your brain gets quieter and gives space to the other parts of your brain where feelings are."

"Why do you always have a good answer to everything?"

You heard Jaemin's breath form a light chuckle.

"Many people told me that before."

"Okay, right."

"No, wait, I meant that- I'm not bragging, sorry--it came out very weirdly."

You smiled, the dark and sudden sleepiness making you care less about keeping up your cold image.

"You want to be a psychiatrist?" "I don't know."

You turned on your side, hands pressed under your face, knees buckled until almost touching his hips. "Why is that?"

Jaemin sighed. "I don't know if I'm good at helping people."

The laugh you let out took both of you by surprise. "Are you joking?"

The boy exhumed perplexed energy even if you couldn’t see him properly.

"You're a human matt with weird gigantic patience. You'll help people alright." "A human mat?" Jaemin raised his eyebrow at you but you still noticed the amused twinkle in his eyes. "Yeah, you have no self-esteem,” you went on. "I have self-esteem," the other protested. "If you did, you wouldn’t let people treat you like that."

Jaemin let the clock on your wall fill the silence with its ticks for a little while.

"Like what?" he whispered.

You rolled on your back, unable to look at him anymore. "Like how I treat you."

"So you're aware of that."

"So you're aware of that as well but choose to ignore it instead of fighting back?"

Jaemin rolled on his back as well, hand rising to his forehead and ruffling his fringe.

You stared at the way the strands fell back exposing his forehead then you looked at his furrowed eyebrows and finally at his lips when he opened them to speak. "What's the point in fighting back?"

A car roared outside your open window, giving you more time to collect your thoughts.

"What's the point in being stupidly kind like that?" you finally spoke up. Your voice was a little whisper as if you secretly wanted Jaemin to not hear you. But he did.

"So I can live by my principles." "And are you happy?"

Ah.

Shit.

Jaemin was at a loss of words.

"Isn't it better to just be yourself and do whatever the fuck you want?" you went on. "Like you?" he finally spoke up. "Yeah." "But you're not doing what you want.”

It was your turn to have no words to choose from.

"You're not yourself, are you?" he asked. "I am," but your voice didn't seem convincing even to your ears. "People are not going to like you more if you behave as you do," you added. "And what should I do to make people like me?" Jaemin inquired. "Nothing. Just be yourself."

Jaemin sat up slowly and briefly looked out of the window.

"Then you should follow this advice as well. Stop putting on this act."

You didn't sleep the whole night after Jaemin slowly exited your room.

_____

The next day you already left when Jaemin got up and walked to the kitchen.

He heard you leave actually. He couldn't sleep the whole night either.

Are you happy? Are you yourself?

No. After turning and rolling on his bed Jaemin got to the conclusion that he wasn't happy or himself at all.

Not all the time at least.

Because most of the times he did care about people, but he could also point out times when he did too much for no reason, getting back nothing but a bittersweet taste on his tongue.

When he came back home after class, an intense sweet fragrance welcomed him first as he stepped inside. With the back turned at him and wearing his black apron, you were frantically looking for something in the kitchen cabinets.

Jaemin indulged in looking at you for a little while, a fizzy feeling inside his chest, small happiness created by moments like finding money in an old jacket, a little surprise you didn’t need but that made your day better.

How would it feel to behave like you? Would Jaemin be able to do it?

At first, Jaemin wondered why you were like that, but after the previous night, he hit his head with an imaginary palm, feeling stupid for not realizing it earlier.

You were just like him.

Hiding something in front of people.

He cleared his throat and smiled when you jolted with a little scream. “For fuck’s sake.”

Yeah, you were hiding the little girl he saw crying on her bed and he was hiding the needy little boy that so desperately wanted to be loved.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” he let his bag fall on the floor as he sat on the kitchen stools in front of you. “Are those cookies?” he indicated the oven with his chin.

You adjusted your clothes as if suddenly realizing how embarrassing it was to wear an apron.

“Why ask obvious questions?”

Jaemin’s smile widened until showing his teeth and you felt like either fight him or run away from his eyes. What a weirdo, you thought. It was almost as if he was enjoying your moodiness.

“Are you looking for something?” he asked again. You crossed your arms on your chest and Jaemin thought that seizing you in the act of being domestic was something that highly embarrassed you.

He loved it.

“No.” The boy rested his head on one arm, tilting his head to the side, already knowing what you were trying to do before. “Shall we decorate the cookies together? I can make the icing. The colouring is in the other cabinet.”

You turned around and stared at the only place you didn’t look before. “I wasn’t trying to decorate them,” you lied.

Jaemin lifted his hands as if innocent. “Never said that,” then smiled as you rolled your eyes.

“Do you have plans tonight?” he walked around you to retrieve the decorations and you felt your breath hitch when he had to press himself on your back. “Because the cookies have to cool down first,” Jaemin explained.

You didn’t reply and untied your apron, suddenly regretting your decision to remain in the kitchen instead of hiding in your room.

“Watch a movie with me, please?”

The “no” was already on the tip of your tongue but then you heard the “please” and your eyes moved to Jaemin’s face by themselves. His hands were pressing into the isle, shoulders raised as if he was trying to lift himself, the evident nervousness in his expression making you feel at a loss of words.

You didn’t expect Jaemin to be shy. Why was he shy? To ask you to watch a movie with him? That made him shy?

“Okay.”

His eyes widened. “Okay?”

You almost laughed at how surprised he was and you had to admit that seeing him run around the kitchen to get to the living room was pretty adorable.

A little sigh, as if a warning, left your lungs when you walked towards the couch. You were probably doing a mistake, but Jaemin - God - Jaemin was so kind.

Watching his back as he was sat down on his knees in front of the tv, so eager to spend some time with you, even if it was fake, even if he didn’t really care, made your heart swell up. No one has behaved like that before. Maybe it was alright.

“Okay, but I choose the movie,” you extended the hand and Jaemin got up, placing the remote controller on your palm. His smile never left his lips as you shuffled the options. “What about this?” Jaemin read the description with squinty eyes. "Oh, I don't like happy endings." You looked at him. "Why is that?"

The boy remained quiet for a moment.

"I think it's because you relate a lot to a sad story and it describes your life so well that you get mesmerized in it. You finally feel understood. Others are going through the same struggles. But then they get a happy ending and- you don't.”

Jaemin’s fingers played with one of the threads of his shorts and you blinked at his unexpected words.

“It becomes a reminder of how your life could go if you were lucky like them. But you're not. That's when you can't relate anymore and it becomes even sadder. Instead of being a sort of relief, the happy ending is another punch in the gut, since I'll never be able to experience something like that,” he smiled after the last phrase as if he had just said that the best colour to decorate the cookies was blue.

Suddenly it felt as if the reality was altered.

Jaemin's face was a concentrated mask, trying to read other movies descriptions and you desperately wanted to touch it with your fingertips.

But you touched the back of his hand instead and Jaemin looked down at his thigh before looking up.

You didn’t know what expression you had on but the boy was so good at understanding people that you could have had a blank face and he would have known what you were feeling.

He smiled warmly at you and held your hand, squeezing it a little bit.

“I’m fine.” “It’s alright to be weak,” you almost talked on top of him. “Or to have desires.”

Jaemin opened his mouth and closed it a few times like a fish and you both jolted when the ding of the oven told that the cookies were baked.

The boy reluctantly let your hand go when you got up and walked towards the kitchen.

The smell was incredible and despite the weird saddened energy of the room, you both smiled at each other when locking eyes.

_____

Jaemin got used to your love language very quickly.

After cookies, came breakfast, and after that, it was the turn of a small gadget you found at the flea market.

“It’s so ugly that the first person I thought of was you.”

You still kept the insulting wall but Jaemin loved that part of you as well.

He ate your gratitude made of sweets and desserts, and looked at it in bed, rolling the little bald man made of wood on his palm.

A night Jaemin would think a lot about, was when you were hammered, bodies spread on the living room floor, eyes closed, soft music in the background to make the ambience less awkward. But you didn’t care about awkwardness as soon enough, the only thing your dizzy heads could think of was nothing at all.

With a wavering hand, Jaemin felt around him, searching for the bottle of “you’ve never tasted such good cognac before, I’m sure” cognac that Haechan sent him.

And the “Oh, perhaps I’m getting engaged :P”.

Jaemin stared at the note for a long time then stared at the bottle of amber liquid, his hands gripping it hard.

You took it from his hands before he could unreasonably smash it on the ground.

“Are you okay?”

The bottle was put down on the kitchen counter and Jaemin looked at it first then at your concerned eyes, as you’ve started to do more often lately.

Jaemin didn’t know what expression he had on but whatever it was, it made you take a few steps towards him when he didn’t reply.

“Yeah,” he breathed out after a little while, trying to put on his normal smile. But when you wrapped his waist with your arms he didn’t stop the tears falling silently on his cheeks.

He did not sob, nor wail. Jaemin just stood there, arms unable to hug you back. And when you dragged him by the hand, the bottle under your arm, making him sit down on the floor, he just obliged.

“Let’s drink to that.”

And Jaemin didn’t know if you meant his broken heart or Haechan’s happiness but he nodded and took a sip of the sweet drink. The bottle travelled back and forth between you until you couldn’t sit up anymore.

Lying down, the sun setting, the same few songs playing on a loop since no one had the energy to change the playlist, Jaemin couldn’t find the bottle anymore so he just grabbed your hand instead.

You didn’t say anything and intertwined your fingers with his, mind circling the spot Jaemin’s thumb was circling on your skin.

"I feel like people love me for how I make them feel.”

The boy’s voice was hoarse and it made your chest tingle.

You listened, squeezing his hand as to invite him to go on.

“I know everything about them. I know how to make them feel good. I listen and I love. I love a lot.”

“You do.”

Jaemin swallowed hard.

You didn’t have to look to know that his cheeks were wet again.

“I tried to be perfect. So I could be loved back.”

“You don’t have to do that. You just got an example of that not working very well anyway.”

A sniff.

“I know. But the little amount I still get now, would it be there if I didn’t try as hard as I’m trying right now? Would people care about me if I wasn't perfect? Would they love me if I didn't do what they need me to? Honestly, I'm terrified to find out.”

You sighed and let his hand go, rolling on your stomach and lifting your bust on our forearms to be able to look at Jaemin.

The boy opened his reddened eyes and tilted his head to the side to meet your gaze.

“If you try so hard and still get so little, you don’t need that love.”

Jaemin blinked once, listening to your soothing voice, the evening breeze lightly swooshing his hair spread around his head.

“As you said, they probably still love you for how you make them feel and not for how you are,” and Jaemin visibly flinched at the hard truth. “But,” you grabbed his hand again, not wanting to let him despair, “there are also people that love you because of who you are, even if you confuse them with those that love you for what you do. And I’m sure Haechan is one of them, it just didn’t go well.” “It didn’t have to go well. It has never been something that could go. It’s just my fault that-” but you shushed him pulling at his hand as to make him stop talking. “You can still admit that he hurt you. He didn’t do it on purpose but it’s not your fault either. And it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you. Sometimes you can try very hard and people would still not care in the same way that you do, and it’s alright. It’s not you. It’s them.”

Jaemin kept his eyes closed as you talked, his chest rising with deep breaths and you placed a hand on it just like he did to you before.

“Do you like me?”

His question took you by surprise.

“You can say no. I’m sorry, I’m putting a lot of pressure on you right now-” “I do.”

The boy opened his eyes, staring at you from underneath his long lashes. “Why?”

You stared down at your intertwined fingers. The truth was that you also liked him for how he made you feel. He never snapped, he accepted you, he tried hard to get to you and it was something that you’ve never experienced before. But what does that also mean about him?

“Because you’re a beautiful human being.”

Jaemin’s eyes widened imperceptibly.

“You’re kind and patient and so sweet. And I know that it looks as if I’m saying only the stuff that has to do with me, like, you’re kind with me, and patient with me and sweet with me. But honestly, I would have liked you even if you were like that with other people and not with me.”

You looked up at his face and bit your lower lip. “Also, would you not like me if I understood you the way you understand others? Would that be only loving the way I make you feel? Would that be a bad thing?” “It’s a bad thing only if you were kind to me only to be loved back when in reality you’re not.” “Yeah. And you’re not doing that, are you? You think you’re not deserving of love without trying to be kind but you’re naturally like that, Jaemin. You’re just unhealthily pushing yourself sometimes. It’s not like you’d stop being kind if you stopped trying. Because you’re already kind. And people will love you the same.”

The boy didn’t add anything to that.

He pulled you by the hand until you softly landed on his chest and wrapped your body with his arms.

You could feel his quick heartbeat under your chest and he probably could feel yours. His warm breath caressed your forehead until you fell asleep.

_____

The day after, Jaemin was the usual boy.

His teeth were the first thing you saw when you woke up with a groan. “Good morning.”

You furrowed your eyebrows when your eyes focus on the background. “What the hell am I doing in your bed?”

Jaemin giggled and tugged your body against his, making you realize that he has been hugging you the whole time.

“Let me go!” you tried to escape but Jaemin didn’t budge.

“We’re just cuddling,” his muffled voice on the sweatshirt you were wearing sounded whiny and sleepy.

“Why are we cuddling? What the fuck happened last night?”

Your body stiffened when Jaemin threw a leg on your hips like a koala.

“Nothing. We got drunk and cried, then we fell asleep on the floor.”

You waited.

“And then I woke up and took ourselves on my bed where we cuddled some more until falling asleep again.”

You waited some more.

“There’s something you’re not telling me, Jaemin.” The boy raised his face from your shoulder to show you his innocent puppy eyes. “Like what?” “Like why I have nothing on besides your hoodie.”

Jaemin’s face lit up in a bright smile and he hid his face into you again as if shy.

“You were thirsty and drank water from the tap.”

“And?” you were losing all of your patience while your cheeks heated up.

“And your clothes got all wet.”

“Jaemin, for fuck’s sake, talk normally. Did you undress me?”

The boy shook his head. “You took them off by yourself,” he paused. “While trying to give me a lap dance.”

You choked on air and tried to cover your face with your hands, but Jaemin’s koala arms prevented you from doing so.

What the fuck. What the actual fuck.

“But you just took your clothes off and fell on me. Nothing happened. I forced you to wear my hoodie. Then you wanted to cuddle and we fell asleep as you kept saying how pretty my eyelashes are.”

Oh my God.

“And that’s it?” you asked with a little voice.

Jaemin looked at you again and his face was so close that you felt as if on fire, the thought of being naked in front of him and doing stuff you couldn’t remember at all.

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

You hit him on the forehead and as he giggled, hands pressing on the spot, you could free yourself and run away in your room.

It was something you would have never imagined, the feeling between your legs.

You breathed in and out, trying to calm yourself, but your skin still remembered where Jaemin’s hands were placed just seconds ago. And his breath on your neck. And your eyes couldn’t get rid of his sunlit chocolate eyes.

Oh, fuck.

This shouldn’t have happened.

You didn’t predict this happening at all and it made you go crazy just like the heat spreading through your body as your hand slipped down your stomach. You didn’t think. Your mind was blank and your fingers moved on their own, teeth biting your lower lip, knees buckling until your frame slipped on the door and meeting the floor. Legs open and back pressed onto the hard wood, you closed your eyes and gasped, hoping that Jaemin’s hangover ears could not hear you.

_____

Jaemin loved how things started to go between you. Bad mannered and moody, you still snapped at him but didn’t run away when he would laugh and pull you into his arms.

Perhaps Jaemin was making a mistake. The same mistake all over again.

Perhaps he was giving and giving, thinking the other party felt the same, but he didn’t care anymore. That’s how he was. He wasn’t trying. He felt like hugging you and kissing your forehead just to hear your scream, loving the little smile blooming on your lips when you thought he wasn’t looking.

He bathed into your silent affection and soon your affection became something else he wouldn’t have expected.

“I think you should stay at home.”

Jaemin adjusted his raincoat with furrowed eyebrows. You were standing near the wall of the corridor and watched him about to go out in the pouring rain.

“Jaemin. There’s a storm outside. Your friend can just call a tow truck or something.”

The boy has been in a rare bad mood for a little while that day and when he heard that his friend got a flat tire his mood didn’t get any better. And now, with you looking at him as if he was doing something wrong when his conscience was telling him it was the right choice made him unreasonable angry. Because he knew that he should probably listen to you.

“I know.”

You huffed. “Then tell him to go fuck himself and stay home.” Jaemin let his shoe fall down on the floor annoyed. “Why do you care so much suddenly?” and while saying it he was already regretting it but was unable to stop. “You’ve hated me since day one and now you care about my well-being?”

You tightened your lips. “I don’t hate you. I thought-- you understood.”

Your vulnerability made Jaemin close his eyes for a second. “Fuck, I do. I always do. I understand everyone and I hate it.”

Sudden lighting made his face spectral and you took a step back.

“Just stop being a human mat and stop doing stuff you don’t want to do. We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

If the boy was cooling down, that phrase took it all out of the window.

“You think it’s easy? Why don’t you stop saying no to everything and start being kinder then? We’ve talked about that as well. You can’t do it either.”

“I bet I can go one day with saying yes to everything but you can’t go a day by saying no or doing what you want instead of what other people want,” you dared him.

Jaemin scoffed. “Yeah, sure. I would want to see that.”

You crossed your arms on your chest determined. “Okay. Starting from this moment I’m going to say yes. What about you? Are you going to refuse people and do what you want? I don’t think so.”

Jaemin stared at you for a split second and his expression became one you’ve never seen him wear before. With a fluid movement, he filled the space between you until your faces were a breath away from each other. “I want to fuck you. How about that?”

You almost gasped as you stared at his dark eyes, the storm outside the window giving him an even more dangerous aura.

Gulping down, your mind started to run and search for an appropriate answer, but it wasn’t necessary as your lips betrayed you by forming a quiet “okay, deal.”

Jaemin’s pupils trembled as if he was surprised himself, yet his hands were quick, stripping him of his raincoat, letting it fall to his feet.

“The safe word is,” he whispered slowly, “forest.”

You swallowed again, feeling your throat suddenly dry, then you chuckled trying to mask your nervousness.

“Okay, but forest? Really? That’s very stupid-,” but you couldn't complete your shaky sentence as you found yourself dragged towards the bedroom and knocked on the bed in a second, ass up in the air with Jaemin’s hands on it. “Stupid?” he asked irritated. “Start fucking counting.” You shivered even though your blood felt like boiling. Not in a thousand years, you would have expected Jaemin to manhandle you like that.

Spank.

A little yelp, more because of the surprise than the actual pain since your thick jeans didn’t really allow for much friction, escaped your lips. “One.” Your voice was trembling. “Good girl,” Jaemin’s voice was almost a deep whisper.

Spank.

“T-two,” you stuttered as Jaemin increased the force.

Spank.

You whined. “Three.” “God, I’ve wanted to do this the first time you left your dirty stuff in the sink and refused to clean up.”

Spank.

“F-four. So you’re actually able to feel human emotions such as anger, huh?” you chuckled breathlessly.

Spank. You moaned and your panties started to get too wet and hot for your liking.

No five could come out of your lips as Jaemin grabbed your arms and rolled you over on your back. His eyes were full of fire and you felt your core tingle as he got on the bed as well, kneeling between your open legs, resting his weight on his hands pressed on each side of your head. “I’m going to stuff you up so hard. Let’s see if you’ll be able to talk back again, princess.” You were about to chuckle, pretending that his words didn’t affect you, but you lost it at the pet name. A little gasp left your lips in the form of a single breath and Jaemin got even closer as if catching it. “Oh, you like it? You want to be called like that?” he teased you. You gulped nervously and nodded. “Then I won’t do it,” he whispered, mouths almost touching. You raised your head to connect his lips with yours but Jaemin pulled away with a laugh until you couldn’t reach him anymore. Then he got closer again when you rested your head down. “Wanna kiss me?” his voice caressed your ears just the way one of his hands started to draw little circles down your neck. You turned your head to the side, giving him more space. “Hm?” he asked while the tip of his tongue traced the outline of your ear. You shivered at the sensation. “Yeah, wanna kiss you,” you replied, remembering the dare, even though, you realized with deep shame, you would have answered positively anyways. Jaemin’s soft chuckle added to the sensation growing between your legs and you would have rubbed them together if Jaemin’s bust weren’t there, so close to your core yet so far away. “Ask me nicely,” he ordered. You bit your lower lip and looked up at him, trying to flirt back, maybe making Jaemin weak the way he was making you feel. But the boy’s smile never flattered. “Do you not want to kiss me?” you fluttered your eyelashes. Jaemin shook his head. “No.” “I want to kiss you so badly though,” you tried again. “Sounds like a you problem.” “Okay, so you’re not actually able to feel human emotions,” you dropped the sugary tone. “This is pretty human in my book,” he lowered his hips grinding on you, his hard cock making you jolt even through the layers of clothes. “I have to do what I want right? Then I want to fuck you until there’s no trace of that attitude left, but on my terms,” and you would have replied if Jaemin didn’t rise on his knees again, looking at you sprawled in front of him like a full meal and if his hands didn’t go to your waistband, unbuttoning your pants and roughly dragging them down. Your legs fell on the bed like dead weight after the jeans were thrown somewhere in the room. Jaemin got between them again but not to do what you hoped he would. Instead, he reached on the shelves behind you and you recognized the sound before seeing the object: a pair of shiny metal handcuffs. Your eyes widened at the sight and Jaemin chuckled. “You want me to tie you up?” you tried to joke, knowing damn well that they weren’t for his wrists. Jaemin ignored your useless question and handcuffed you, tugging at the chain connecting your hands, making you whine as he hooked it to a nail above your head. You looked up, blaming yourself for not noticing it sooner and shivered at the sudden realization that Jaemin had probably done it very often. A little fear of what he might do to you crept in the back of your mind but instead of spreading panic through your body, it spread a wave of pleasure, collecting itself in a single pulsating point between your legs. “Tell me the truth. It’s the first time you’re not the one tied to the bed, right?” you teased him. “No, but it does look like it’s your first time, isn’t it, love?” his eyes were sweet and kind, the usual look Jaemin would give you in the morning or before going to bed, yet it changed in a second as he calmly slipped his fingers on your hips, getting under your panties and dragging them down your thighs. He twirled them around his finger a few times, the tip of his tongue moisturizing his dry lips as he drank in the view of your spread legs. “You’re not taking off this?” you tried to drift his attention to your face instead, shimming your bust as to indicate what you were talking about, suddenly very shy of you being so exposed to him and definitely not used to the look on his face. But Jaemin didn’t budge. He still stared where he wanted, as if almost caressing you with his gaze as he replied. “It would be a shame. That’s my hoodie, isn’t it? Tell me,” he got closer, hovering over you, finally looking at you in the eyes, making you regret that he wasn’t looking away as before, “does it still have my perfume on? Were you thinking about me today just as you touched yourself that time while wearing it?” he purred and chuckled at your shocked expression. “This apartment has very thin walls, angel. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll tell you my little secret as well, yeah?” You nodded breathlessly. “I was fucking my fist to your pretty moans as well, thinking about your sweet lips wrapped around my cock,” he rubbed his thumb on your lower lip, making you open your mouth as if about to kiss you, then smirked. “What about you? Were you thinking about this-” he let his hand fall from your face down your body until reaching between your legs, touching your wet core with two fingers, dragging them up and down slowly. You jolted, inhaling sharply at the feeling, eyes unable to stay open. “-or maybe this?” his voice was a whisper as his fingertips circled your clit, snapping a whine out of you. His shiny necklace was dangling in front of your face, then it laid on your chest as he got closer and pressed his lips on your neck, sucking your skin in, playing with it with his tongue. “Was it perhaps this?” he spoke again as he easily slipped his middle finger inside of you. The wet sounds of him pumping your pussy made you even more aroused and it probably had the same effect on Jaemin since a little low growl roared in his chest. He slipped another finger in. “Do you hear it? So wet and all for me,” his hot breath ghosted your ear. “Jaemin, please,” you mumbled, the building up sensation keeping you on the edge but not enough to grow to what your gut needed. Jaemin raised his bust and sat down on his heels with a cocky smile, looking at the way his fingers disappeared inside you, glistening with your juices. “You’re in no position to ask for anything, angel,” he reminded you calmly. “But I appreciate the please. Now, let’s learn to say thank you as well, shall we?” You whined, rocking your hips against his hand, urging him to go faster. The boy raised an eyebrow at your eagerness and let himself down on his elbows between your legs. “Do you want to feel my tongue?” “Yes, yes, please,” you replied, all of your pride out of the window. “Like this?” he licked your inner thigh. You protested and it only made Jaemin more amused. “Sorry, like this?” he drew a line on one of your lips, so close yet so far. “Jaemin, I’ll fucking make you pay,” you spoke through your teeth and Jaemin clicked his tongue as if disappointed, retrieving his fingers from you and leaving you all empty. “No, no, no,” you wailed, eyes wide staring at him. “What was that? Did I hear some-” he cupped his ear with one hand in a playful act, “-attitude?” “Shit, Jaemin, you said you’re going to fuck the attitude out of me, yet here you are, not doing anything to me.” Jaemin’s smile disappeared in a second leaving space for a dark expression. Usually, he would have continued to smile, but this Jaemin was a different person. “Oh, be careful what you wish for, angel,” he whispered and dove into your core, not leaving you a single second to breathe in properly. You moaned hard feeling his quick tongue, curling your toes and tugging at the handcuffs keeping your arms painfully above your head. “Oh oh- fuck me,” and he did it, lapping at your wetness, fingers shoved back inside of you, quick to find your sweet spot thanks to your increasing moans guiding his movements. His name on your whiny lips probably made him insane since he started to move even quicker, so quick to make you arch your back, not stopping even when you started to uncontrollably shake, coming all over his tongue. Your legs tried to get together but Jaemin didn’t agree with that, slapping your thighs away his with free hand and diving back in, sucking on your clit as if nothing happened. You cried out and mumbled something about stopping but Jaemin didn’t accept anything besides the safe word. Deaf to your protests, he ravaged you until hearing your loud whimpers again, this time shaking so hard that the bed frame moved with you, your wrists hurting as you tugged at the handcuffs again. Only then Jaemin lifted himself on his knees again, breathless, your juices wetting his lips and chin, a thin layer of sweat matting his fringe to the forehead. “How are we feeling, baby?” he grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and undressed himself, revealing one of the best bodies you’ve seen in real life. Unable to speak, still coming down from your high, you just stared at him, fucked numb, and he still didn’t even put his cock to good use yet. “Good,” Jaemin seemed satisfied as he caressed his abs, going down to the waistband of his grey sweats with a slow movement. He teased you like that for a second, loving the way your eyes were trained on his hard one. “You want it?” he asked with a smirk, palming it and outlining its form. “Yes,” you managed to say. Jaemin clicked his tongue. “You’re back to speaking now. Better do something about it,” he commented and took off his bottoms alongside his boxers. In a single movement, your legs were around his waist and the tip of his cock was tasting your entrance. Jaemin moved it up and down with his hand, spreading your abundant juices on it, making you almost whimper with expectation before finally filling you up slowly with a deep grunt. And you felt every centimetre of it, stretching you out, making the air leave your lungs in the same moment until you felt it hit far inside where no cock has possibly touched before. “Shit-” Jaemin whispered as you moaned, slowly making more space inside your tight walls by swiftly rolling his hips. He didn’t need to keep the pace low for a long time though as you quickly adjusted to his girth, high pitched pleasure whimpers leaving your rough throat instead of pained ones. Jaemin swore again, thrusting every time faster, grabbing your legs and putting them on his shoulders, hitting it from a better angle. "Louder, baby. I want to hear your moans." You bit your lower lip, the remnants of your brattiness lingering on your tongue. "Then make me moan, Jaemin-," and in that second you realized that you've fucked up. Jaemin descended in a breath, making your thighs touch your chest, one of his hands deeply pressed into the pillow, the other tightened around your throat. He was quick. Oh, he was so quick you felt like you were about to go blind. "Like this? Huh?" the creak of the bed and the slapping of the skin almost covering his teeth spoken questions. When you came you felt your eyes roll back and Jaemin finally let you inhale, oxygenating your fucked out brain. Little pleas slipped your trembling lips, imitating your shaking muscles. But Jaemin didn't stop until you felt his hot cum spurting deep inside of you, making you clench hard around him, finally hearing his choked moans as well. His hips moved and moved until you begged. “Jaemin, Jaem- I can’t, I can’t take this anymore." “You know what to say, angel. A single word and I’ll stop,” he reminded you. You bit your lower lip, staring at him in the eyes. “Oh, so you like it that much, huh? Like - a - little - slut," he accompanied each of his last four words with a deep thrust. "Your tight little pussy can’t take it anymore but you still want it, isn’t that right, princess? You like to be used like this, just as I please. You’re filled up so much that it’s dripping out, baby. Would you let me use your other pretty holes as well?” “Fuck, Jaemin, you’re driving me crazy,” you whined, a few warm tears collecting to the sides of your eyes. “Oh, my baby is crying because it’s that good? Do you love it? You want more of my cock, right?” he cooed sweetly. “Yes, yes, please,” you squirmed underneath him. “No,” he shook his head amused slipping out of your hot pussy, slapping your clit with his tip. You jolted and tugged at the handcuffs. Jaemin smiled and jerked his cock between your legs. "Oh, fuck," his voice darkened as his fingers wrapped his glistening cock, fucking himself while looking at your abused pussy. He was so hot, with strands of wet hair to hide his eyes, open red lips to let out deep grunts and his abs flinching when his thumb would press into the tip of his cock that a little whine escaped your lips. "Give it to me." Jaemin looked up at your begging face with a smirk, hand not slowing down at all. "Where do you want it?" You let your tongue out and you could visibly see the moment during which Jaemin forced a moan down his throat. In a second your arms were down and you sighed relieved as he silently unlocked the handcuffs. But you didn't live that pleasurable moment for long that your bruised wrists were grabbed again to make you stand up on your knees in front of him. Jaemin looked at your face for a short while, almost tenderly, eyes darting from your eyes to your lips, before he gripped your head and forced your on all fours, his other hand keeping his cock aligned to your face. You whimpered at the sudden movement but opened your mouth, looking up at Jaemin, waiting for him to do whatever he wanted to you. And he did just that. A choked moan vibrated up his length as he thrust on your tongue, making you taste yourself and his cum at once. Jaemin hummed once then whined, stopping the air inside his nose as if choking before releasing it with through his open mouth and it was so sexy that you desired to listen to his sounds forever. And they got louder as you bobbed your head, his hands loosely gripping your face before palming your shoulders and back, going further until reaching your ass and grabbing it, kneading your soft flesh, shoving himself even further inside your throat. Overstimulated, it took him less time to cum the second time and you loved it how briefly at your mercy he was when you let his cock out, a little string of saliva connecting your tongue to his tip, jerking him off until feeling his seed paint your face. "So fucking hot, fuck-," he groaned, staring down at your expression until you milked him all up.

Both breathless you just looked at each other until a little smile broke on your lips. He followed suit and chuckled, one trembling hand searching for his t-shirt to clean you up.

"Wait," he said when you sat up, putting one finger to your cheek and sucking it clean.

"Delicious," you raised one eyebrow. "Yeah, I bet," Jaemin replied sarcastic one hand sliding on your jaw while the other cleaned up your cheeks. You closed your eyes with a smile and waited for him to be done, not expecting the little peck he places on your lips.

When you opened your eyes surprised, Jaemin continued to pat your skin as if nothing happened.

"What was that?" you inquired.

The boy blinked at you innocently. "You had something on your lips."

Your smile grew. "And it's all off now? I think there's some left. Wanna check?"

Jaemin let the t-shirt go on the side in that instant and kissed you deeply, almost making you fall on your back. It was soft and careful, yet so intense that if you wouldn't have felt so spent it would have turned you on again. And maybe you still could go on for a while because when Jaemin tilted your head to the side and circled your tongue with his, you could have sworn that the heat between your legs came back stronger than ever.

"Wait here," he whispered on your skin and got up, letting you admire the back view until he disappeared outside the room.

With a deep sigh, you let yourself fall on the bed again, stretching your sore muscles, the realization that you've just had some mad sex slowly creeping in.

When Jaemin came back you were almost drifting to sleep, lulled by the sound of the rain.

"Come." A little whine rolled out of your lips as you opened your eyes again. Jaemin smiled looking at you for a few moments before sliding his arms under your knees and waist.

"Jaemin, wait, no-," you jolted awake but not being able to do anything besides wrapping your arms around his neck. "You can't carry me-," but he shushed you and in a few moments you were already in the bathroom, the hot water still filling the bathtub.

He put you down and held your waist when you realized your legs were still wobbly and helped you step inside the soapy water. When he followed suit, placing himself behind you and pulling you towards him, you felt your cheeks on fire.

"You alright?" he whispered, hands already trained on your body, massaging your body softly.

You nodded and inhaled sharply as he traced your bust with two fingers, going down between your legs. "Jaemin-," your thighs closed around his wrist while your face pressed on his bicep to your left.

His soft chuckle brushed against your temple. "I'm not doing anything. Just cleaning you out," he had the courage to say. When you arched your back he retrieved his hand and grabbed a soft loofah. With gentle and careful strokes, he passed it on your skin starting from the chest and shoulders then going down on your torso, giving a little bit too much attention to your breasts. Too turned on but also embarrassed about him washing you up, you could just stare at the way the bubbly water dripped on your skin and when he ordered you to turn around, you couldn't bear to look at him in the eyes. Hands on our ankles, as you rested your back to the other side of the tub, he worked your legs up slowly, enjoying the view and your shy expression maybe too much.

"You're so beautiful," he commented in a low, playful tone and you felt like asking him to get you off for the nth time that night.

Perhaps it showed on your face or maybe he could read minds, but when he reached your inner thighs, he let he loofah float and touched you with his fingers, pulling you towards him until you straddled his lap.

"The bet is off now. You can insult me just like before," he smirked while his fingers made their way between your aching folds.

The breath you inhaled was shaky and you had to press your forehead against his, your hands restless on his wet shoulders.

"I wasn't like that because of the bet," you confessed and Jaemin's pupils visibly trembled while his lips curved in a little smile. "And I'm not like this now because of it either."

A low sound vibrated in Jaemin's chest before he whispered against your open mouth.

"So you saying that you're actually a good girl?"

You nodded, unable to speak as the boy's fingers picked up the pace on your clit.

"I know," he placed a peck on the corner of your mouth, "you're such a good girl," a peck on your jaw, "especially for me" a peck on your neck.

You exhaled with a whine and let your head fall back, digging your nails into his skin, finally being able to touch him as you've wanted to do before. Jaemin took the opportunity to let his lips descend to your nipples, sucking them inside the warmth of his mouth, twirling the buds with his wet tongue until it was unbearable for you to not moan his name uncontrollably.

Your body was all mush when you came again with an almost scream, pulling his head against your chest until his fingertips left your throbbing clit and traced your thigh, going around it and palming your ass. When you finally unclenched your arms from around his neck, he looked up from between the swell of your breasts with a soft giggle.

"Sorry," you mumbled but he shook his head, a kind of adoration in his eyes that you've never seen before.

"I loved it-," he started but stopped abruptly afterwards, as if not wanting to let the words aching on his tongue to roll freely.

You sat down deeper on his thighs until your eyes were at the same level.

"And?" you touched his chest slowly, fingers still trembling from the high.

He swallowed, mind running at an incredibly high speed reflected in his suddenly troubled eyes.

"And I think that-- fuck, I might love you as well."

Oh.

It made your whole body shake again.

Jaemin noticed and you wondered what kind of expression you had on to make him look so worried all of a sudden.

"Is it too much? Too soon?" he cupped your face with one hand.

You couldn't look him in the eyes. "I don't know-- I just-"

Jaemin shushed you. "It's alright. You don't have to do or say anything."

You shook your head and raised your gaze. "I just- I really want to let myself go and believe it."

The boy stayed silent for a moment as if wondering what his next words should be and you hated it. Nights and nights of talking freely with him made you understand how refreshing it was to be yourself and not walk on eggshells around people. And you knew that Jaemin felt the same. Seeing him now, delicate fingers on your skin as if afraid to break you, made your heart ache.

"You care too much, Jaemin. Don't worry about me like this. We've talked about it."

Jaemin briefly licked his lower lip. "How can I not care about you when no one has cared about you before?"

And you choked on the amount of tears that suddenly made your vision blurry.

The boy pulled you towards him and you rested your forehead on his shoulder. "I know," he talked with a shaky voice, "I know I'm too kind and all that stuff and everything you've said is true, I need to change for my own sake, but-," his arms held you even more tightly, "not when it comes to you. I want to be like that with you. And I'm going to change, yes, I'll say no and refuse to do things people ask of me if this is what you want."

His words didn't make your sobs slow down but you raised your face and touched his cheeks.

"Then I want you to care about yourself the way you care about me, Jaemin."

"I care about myself now, because you care about me."

You chuckled. "That's still doing stuff for other people." Jaemin smiled and stroked your under eye with his thumbs. "It's not for other people. It's for you. Because I love you, Y/N."

You bit your lower lip as a new tide of tears announced their way.

“I never said I care about you though,” your lower lip trembled after you let it go. “You don’t have to say it.” “I hate you.” “Yeah,” he kissed your lips. “And I don’t like cuddles and I don’t like breakfast.” “Yeah,” he kissed you again.

And again.

Until you didn’t let him go anymore and he was sure of being loved back.

#jaemin #jaemin smut #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin one-shot #nct #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct fanfiction #na jaemin

3K notes · View notes

eitelle · 4 years ago

Text

pretty setter squad headcanons:

Includes: oikawa, kenma, and kageyama

TW: idk too much cuteness? Is that even a trigger? Idk. Some spicy headcanons not all tho idk maybe angst I’m not sure

Note: I don’t like oikawa but I have headcanons ab him (pls don’t get offended oikawa stans, yall scare me.)

Pairings: kinda not rly but oikawa x gn!reader, kenma x gn!reader and kageyama x gn!reader

A/N: BRUH MY FRIEND FOUND MY TUMBLR RIP 💔😔 but it’s chill. Anyways I still don’t know how to use this app and I’m yet again doing this in school but we just vibing at this point. If u live in the DC area or anywhere where things are getting violent please stay safe and don’t go outside unless absolutely necessary :(

Oikawa tooru

Def bi. He’s a bicon but also a biromantic (someone who is attracted to males and females but only after ie. shared trauma or an emotional bond)

His fav food is milk bread but he makes Iwa-chan make it for him bc the time he tried to make it he almost burned down his house

Hes the little spoon

He’s a Leo rising or at least a lot of Leo/Virgo placements in his big 6

Mans is so touch deprived and gets clingy is u leave for even 2 mins

He will never forget ur bday bc he does have a rly good memory

I feel like his family life is/was rly bad so that’s why he’s rly clingy now

If he had TikTok he’d blow up like how vinnie hacker did but then people would notice how he’s built and then he’d lose hype

Even tho he’s sensitive I feel like he’d be a rly good debater (idk why)

Def writes u love letters and keeps them in his vb locker

Steals ur scrunchies and brags to his team ab it

He would put marshmallows or smth sweet in his popcorn as opposed to butter or cheese

Before giving you any of his hoodies he always sprays it excessively w his cologne so people will know who u belong to

Hes such a switch

Possesive in public but like a huge baby in private

If u take a bath or shower u best believe that man will come running to take it w u bc he has separation anxiety

Is really good at science

Secretly finds his fans annoying but only lets it show if they ever hurt you

Hes vanilla IM SORRY

Very insecure so u have to remind him of how amazing all of his flaws are and that you love him all the time

Love language is touch fs but he needs words of affirmation to be reassured all the time

He’s a bookworm secretly 😳😳 (sincerely a bookworm)

Ok that’s all I have for oikawa

Kenma (🍎🎮🐈💕)

Buckle up everyone. Some may be spicy so be warned

His ideal date is to cuddle, eat apple pie on a huge empty (as in no people) field of flowers, play animal crossing and eventually watch the sunset and then a car ride home where y’all scream songs

He has stamina but only if he wants (like 5-9 rounds 😀☝️😳✊)

If he loses a round or smth in a game ur ability to walk: gone.

Touch: deprived

Hes rly clingy in private but as soon as y’all are in public the most he’ll so is touch ur back, hold ur hand, or kiss ur cheek

The quiet ones do be the most kinky tho

His love language is touch and loves giving you gifts but hates getting gifts (unless it’s smth that is special)

He loves when u play games w him or bake him apple pie

He’s a rly good baker but will never tell anyone else

He loves when u cuddle him while gaming

Once u give him ur scrunchie, that’s HIS scrunchie now. He’ll wear that shit everywhere. in his hair, on his wrist, doesn’t matter.

Separation anxiety (idk i feel like that’s all setters tho 💀💀)

He def named his Minecraft dog after you

Surprisingly hes the big spoon (only bc he loves holding you) but he’s down for being little spoon sometimes too

Night cuddles or no sleep

Def done the pocky thing where u eat from either end and then kiss in the middle

Sometimes he’ll be so ‘interested in a game’ that he lets u braid his hair. (hes rly not interested he just thinks ur cute)

You>games (shockerrrr)

Yall have like 5 cats and u name them after ur shared animal crossing villagers

He/they vibes but is lowkey scared to tell you but ofc ur the loving and supportive s/o so ur like “aw no bby it’s totally fine”

Def calls you kitten or bub

Rly good at singing and would sing you to sleep or sing while y’all play games

Him and you would def have Minecraft beds next to each other

Loves when u get jealous ngl

He sometimes forgets to do simple things like eating or drinking water or sleeping 💀💀 so you have to remind him

Y’all share a plate of food bc it started off as you two sharing so you could make sure he was eating but now it feels wrong to not share (yall get seconds and it’s a big plate but either way u still share)

You have to teach him how to dance lmaoo

He actually loves it when u call him ‘Ken’ or ‘kenken’ just not in public or in front of kuroo

Ok that’s it for kenken it felt rly long 💀💀

Kageyama (aka swageyama tobiyolo)

He hates the silence so he has to him or murmur to himself

Def needs words of affirmation and his love language is touch but he hates receiving touch

Ripped. Like lean ripped. Very hot 😛😛

Cuddles. That’s all I have to say.

Touch deprived. Idk I feel like everyone is touch deprived in the series 😭😭

He either goes to sleep rly early or late there’s no in between

He remembers rly odd things. Like he won’t remember what he had for breakfast/lunch/dinner but he remembers nishinoyas hair dying schedule and your fav shampoo and conditioner

Cant sleep wo cuddles or hugs

He has a little sister and knows how to braid hair like a boss 😎😎

He pouts when he’s sad and hates being vulnerable

He’s a weeb

Def has a baby voice that he saves for when ur together in private

He needs reassurance and has so much doubts and insecurities 😔😟😖

He’s very possesive 😏😏

Never forgets an important day or a goodnight/morning text no matter how bad his day is

He finally learned how to smile once he got w u bc u make him smile and to smile he just thinks ab you

At night he drinks warm milk with like Nutella mixed in w syrup (don’t judge ok 💔) but regular milk during the day

He secretly stalks hinata bc he feels protective over the ball of sunshine (not romantically)

He never gets mad at you and if he does he just doesn’t talk and apologizes and talks it out later

Def believes in Santa still

Has daddy issues 😳😳

Huge sweet tooth and also lowkey has soft hair that he lets u play with

He gets mad if u ever wear someone else’s hoodie or clothes doesn’t matter who’s or what gender

He wears rings like corpses

His way of showing affection is rambling ab volleyball w a smile (like a genuine one)

Ideal date is a study date that ends up in cuddles while watching stars

He always gets you smth from the snack machine

He loves walking to school with you even if he’s a little late he would never miss walking with you

He’s rly awkward and yalls first kiss was in front of the whole volleyball team after winning a rly important match (I’m not saying which one just use ur imagination lmao) and noya and tanaka pounced on him and sobbed ab how Kags got a s/o before them

Definitely bilingual or like can speak multiple languages (not well but he understands them)

He loves when you play w his hair or his head in general and he loves giving head pats 🥺

Ok that’s it for kags bub

Alr I hope u enjoyed lmaoo pt 2 w akaashi, suga, and atsumu will be up tmr maybe idk yet

#haikyu oneshots #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyu headcanons #kageyama #haikyuu tobio #oikawa x y/n #hq oikawa #oikawa tooru #kenma fanfic #kenma kuzome #kenma x you #kenma x yn #kodzuken #kozume kenma #swageyama tobiyolo #kageyama tobio #eitelle writes

80 notes · View notes

writingsweetroll · 4 years ago

Text

Past - 6

We ran out the building as fast as we could. We caught our breath as we made it back to the courtyard. "Maybe that wasn't something we should have heard.." AJ said in a hushed tone. He looked at me with curiosity. He noticed my silence. "Willow?" he asked. "AJ- what happened with Marlon?" I asked slowly. "I don't know who Marlon is and dad said you killed him. What..." I sighed in the middle of my sentence, there was a lot happening today. "What happened AJ. Tell me, please." AJ straightened his back, with hesitation he agreed.

We walked to my room, and sat down on the separate ends of the bed. "About 14 years ago, we crashed at the train station area. This dude, his name was Marlon, he saved us and took us in." I could tell to everyone this was a sensitive subject, but still, I needed to know why. I let AJ continue, with a comforting face to let him know I'm here if he needs me. AJ fiddled with his fingers. "Soon, we found out some deep shit about him. First Clem found out what happened to Minerva and Sophie--" I cut him off. "Minerva and Sophie...Minerva is Violets ex right. I have seen her visit the graves every now and then?" AJ nodded then continued. "Turns out he actually sold them to The Delta. And was gonna sell Clem and I next. After....Brody, she exposed him she was beaten to death by Marlon. And in fear Marlon locked Clementine in the basement where it all happened." I got chills in my spine, thinking about the times Carson and I played board games down there during winter days, not knowing such tragic things happened there. "Clem escaped obviously, but Marlon pinned the murder on her. And basically it was back and forward, until Clem turned to Louis for help."--"Well did he help?" I asked, knowing my dad was very loyal to Clem, but sometimes he does get lazy. AJ sighed. "Yea, after some convincing. He stopped her from being murdered. After that everyone was calming down and then I-" AJ chocked up. "I shot him in the head...I will never forget Louis's face. The pain I caused him."

I scoffed in annoyance. AJ looked at me, almost appalled at my response. "Louis has no reason to be upset! He shouldn't have treated mom or you like that at all. Marlon was a murder! He almost killed mom and sold her off with you, and betrayed the whole group. If Louis couldn't see that, then he's the fool." AJ straightened his back up in a more defensive manner, "Willow-" I cut him off. "Is that why you guys got kicked out? For giving that murderer what he deserved? That's not fair AJ! I love dad but seriously, is he just a--just a-"--"Willow! Stop!" I was cut off by AJ yelling at me. Startled, I look at him with wide eyes. AJ began to slouch again. "Willow, you still don't know the full story. That was from our shoes, not his."

"Marlon and him had always been close. Ever since they were kids, before the apocalypse even started; they had this brotherly relationship. Kind of like our relationship you know? What Louis didn't know was that Marlon had so much anxiety, and stress on his shoulders. And he did something stupid, then he murdered. Louis came out to see what was going on. And before he could fully grasp what was going on, Marlon was dead. Marlon, his best friend, his brother died by some strangers who had just come." The room became silent. Only white noise filled the area. AJ broke the silence as he spoke again. "What if you were in that position with me or Iris? What if some random stranger came in here, exposed my secrets and then before you got to ask me or tell me anything, I died. Was shot in the head...by some stupid fucking kid." AJ looked down now, obviously hurt by what he had done. I sighed and make my way over to him. "I get it AJ, it was hard on dad. Now I know. But still, it was hard on you guys to. He shouldn't be blaming you for this."--"He doesn't Willow, I mean I don't think he does." AJ interjected. "But you heard what he said earlier AJ." AJ stood up off the bed. "I know Willow. I know. It's just, after he let us back into the school he apologized. And even years after that he still does. In the moment he was angry. I said some shit to, shit I'm not proud of when I was angry." AJ the went to my closet and grabbed his art box. He rummaged through a lot of papers until he found a drawing. "Look." He pointed to the picture. It was a picture of AJ and Louis, they were holding hands and smiling. He scribbled at the bottom of the page, "I get sad when Lou gets sad about Marlon. I wish I could stop what I did last year. But he tells me that he loves me the way Clem loves me and nothing will change that." I smiled at the innocence scribbled on the page. "Clem taught me when people have trauma, they do things differently and I think that can apply to anger to. Louis was angry but I know in my heart that he wouldn't love Clem if he truly felt that way. Let alone have a child with her."--"And no Willow, you were planned not an accident." The atmosphere became lighter as we gave into hope. "Don't worry about them. 14 years and a kid isn't going down the drain because of an argument." AJ told me as her was about to leave my room. "Thanks for checking up on me, I had some fun all things considered." I smile and wave him off.

-2 days later-

"Good morning sweet pea." I wake up to being gently shook awake by Louis. "What? What's going on?" I asked. "Well, I know this is short notice but we're going to Richmond! Get up." I got up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, before I could ask why, he left my room. I get up and put on my hiking clothes as usual. Confused, I make my way outside. "Alright, here's your packs, you two have yours as well?" Violet and Ivy nodded, holding each others hands. We put our backpacks on, AJ and I gave each other a confused look. We could have swore Clem and Louis were just fighting about this. Even more confusing, he seemed giddy?

Soon we are on the road. He didn't seem upset like the other day. Eventually the questions got overwhelming and so I said, "Ok this is weird." We all stopped walking. "What's up Willow?" Louis asked. I sighed and made my way to a tree and sat against it. "Don't be mad but, I maybe snuck around 2 days ago when you got mad and heard a not so friendly conversation about me?" Louis looked at me with wide eyes. "You, what? Willow you know that's not right-"--"I know, I know. It was stupid and I never snuck around before that! But, I was scared you know? I didn't know what was up with you to. I knew you weren't going to break up or anything but still, there was this lingering thought that I was gonna be the cause of your breakup.." Louis sat next to me, and pulled me in for a hug. "Willow, we love each other. You know we barely fight. And it wasn't you, it was our past trauma that made us say things we didn't mean. We have been built around it; but when you love each other you can also work around it. Besides Willow, we talked things out last night and things had worked out. We agreed on a plan together and that's why we're going to Richmond." He released me from the hug. I felt a heavy rock leave my shoulders as he helped me up off the ground. It good to have some closure.

"Seems like yall did more then just talk from the way you walked out all happy this morning." Ivy said with a smirk. Violet elbowed her signaling her to shut up. Ivy being used to being around Willy, Carson, and Brent apologized. "Sorry," she wheezed while holding her arm. "Forgot this was the wrong crowd."

With that, we all started to walk to Richmond again.

#twdclem #twdg clementine #twdg s4 #twdg #twd #fanfiction #fanfic #the walking dead game #Telltale The Walking Dead #the waking dead game #telltales the walking dead #clemxlouis #louistine #clouis #Clou #twdglouis

2 notes · View notes

justanotherpersonsuniverse · 5 years ago

Text

Some more pure shit for yall in the Other Magic au

-Kagami starts to become possessive of Marinette too after she visits her as a cat (it's like A Whisker Away style)

-Juleka snuggles Kagami around in her backpack sometimes, Persona 5 style

-The Mystery Gang Shows up on the Ladyblog more now, they're helping Alya with recording (especially when Alya is busy as Rena)

-Kagami bumps Chat Noir visiting one night during one of her days, and hisses at him. Marinette enters the Room to two of her favorite cats hissing at eachother

-Juleka's body is naturally really cold and she isn't immune to it- so Chloe buys her a really warm blanket one day without a word

-People are suspicious but Juleka gets that its her way of caring so she thanks her deeply and goes to sleep warm that night

-Everyone starts to carry extra sweatshirts and blood packs for Chloe and Juleka just in case (Chloe's normally clothes merge with her when shifting into her normal wolf form but if she doesn't focus her clothes will rip. Also if she's shifting into her Werewolf form.

-All of the small animal shifters hide in bags, Alix has hid in her own hat before

-Chloe is big enough to give Alix rides as a wolf

-During Full Moons the whole crew comes over some time, and if they don’t for the night, they show up in the morning for coffee

-Alix usually stays up the entire night to make sure the protection spell doesn’t snap but eventually she can’t help it and falls asleep. Normally this means the spell would break but coincidentally this is when Chloe mellows out too

-They both sleep near the door separating them

-Mr Kubdel doesn’t see Chloe much but when he does, she makes him coffee and thanks him for letting her stay

-He says he’s glad Alix has a friend

-She almost cries

-and if he notices, he hugs her

-The Mystery gang likes to steal Alix’s hat.

-They’ve made it a game. The class has noticed this, and now everyone is stealing Alix’s hat too

-They’ve roped Nino into this two. It’s a bunch of hat stealing shenanigans.

-Chloe and Alya have the highest scores.

-Alya and Chloe bond over fur problems and Ladybug love and slowly, as Alya teaches Chloe to mellow out, they become slow but close friends.

-Alya still makes jabs at her but only to stuff she knows won’t actually hurt Chloe

-Alya gets pissed when she learns what Audrey said to Chloe in Queen Wasp (I think Chloe runs away instead of revealing her identity, because she was slowly turning into a wolf from rage and hurt) and rallies the team (it’s a massacre)

-Chloe jumps into people’s arms when she’s scared and they’re all used to it

-They all grow a sixth sense that tells them which person she’s jumping to first in that moment, it’s usually Alix but that’s because Alix is usually the closest

-Chloe has memorized everyone’s coffee orders

-Alya and Sabrina talk about friendship a lot, they’re the kind of friends who don’t talk much but when they do it’s because they’re alone, looking up at the stars, and talking about life at its most fullest and hollow

-Sabrina clung onto Juleka quickly as a friend, and genuinely was freaking the fuck out when she got her leg bitten off

-When Juleka has an anxiety attack they either contact Rose or are there to help

-Chloe doesn’t know what to do the first time it happens in front of her but decides to shift into a dog

-This helps Juleka calm down a bit through the petting and refocus

-Chloe and Juleka become great accidental therapy dogs.

-Juleka’s wolf form is a little scarier than normal though so Chloe handles it mostly.

-Chloe feels really bad cause usually when she’s hanging with someone they vent about their day and it usually has to do with her

-The next day she apologizes and does something short and sweet to make up, its not much but she hopes it goes a long way

-it does and while people are suspicious they’re starting to get that this isn’t for attention

-Marinette has fallen asleep on Chloe before. The blonde just silently shifts back, and tucks Marinette into bed before leaving.

-They all eventually tuck Marinette into bed at some point

-Marinette makes/gives each of her new animal friends little accessories now.

-She gave Alya a small purple bandana

-She gave Chloe a small gold ribbon (Chloe reacted bad when Marinette suggested a collar out loud)

-She gave Alix a blue bow on one of her ears

-She gave Sabrina a dark green ribbon around one of her ankles

-She gave Juleka a red ribbon around one of her wrists

-and She gave Kagami a red bow that tied around her neck

-Sabrina still wears hers as human, she isn’t sure why, the green makes her happy, also it’s easy to hide so why bother taking it off?

#Other Magic Au

36 notes · View notes

toxicxxmyth · 6 years ago

Text

Dating Christopher Vélez headcanon

Authors Note: Don’t know if I rlly have to mention this but I called Chris a fuckboy in this like 20+ times so don’t be offended m8 and just like Richards, this is all over the place

Richard‘s headcanon

Christopher has mentioned many many MANY times that he is not looking for a relationship

My man is getting that good good PussAy ;))))))

And he ain’t looking for no commitment :(:

We stan a fuck boy ;)

So it probably took him like three encounters to notice you

The first time was at a house party and y’all talked for like five seconds and then went your separate ways

You remember him

He didn’t even remember your hair color lol

The second time was also at a party

You were looking for your car keys but you spotted the cute guy you talked to for like a second

So you asked if he’d seen your keys like a fkn dumbass

And he was like “nah m8 😔”

And you were like “aight 🤘😔”

And he thought you were hot so that’s a start

Then the third time was also another party

And then y’all saw each other again and made a convo this time

He for sure remember you this time cause he wasn’t as tipsy as before

Lol

So that’s how y’all met

But just like Richard

It took this boy a long time to actually get his shit together and be like

“I actually like this girl”

Ya feel?

But you already liked him

But you understood his position

You were actually grateful that he didn’t just agree to go out with you if he wasn’t certain about you

It saved you the heart break

But after many MANY months

He gave in, and he was grateful for your patience

Anywhore

Now to the headcanon of dating the Ecuadorian fuck boy who we love

There is never a day where you’re bored

He’s always got something planned for the day

Lazy days are superior tho

His laugh could cure your acne, sadness’s and anxiety

Thank God he laughs every damn day

HE WILL FOR SURE TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATEBOARD

And if you already know how to skateboard then y’all will ride together like actual goals

He goes all out when it comes to dates

Will take you to the most expensive restaurants in the area

For sure will buy you a fancy ass dress

I highly believe that out of all the members he’s the one who’ll spoil you the most

Like fuck

It’s a lot

When he’s away on tour he’ll have a bIG ASS bouquet of flowers sent to you or chocolate

Will surprise you jewelry, food, clothes aNYTHING

you’ll have to remind him that he doesn’t have to do any of that but he insists on doing them bc he loves spoiling you sm

Yet when you return the favor by buying him something small he’s all like

“:0 thIS IS TOO MUCH, AMOR”

and you’re like “???? Khe ???”

For sure will teach you Spanish if you don’t already

Staring by cuss words ofc :’)

Whenever y’all go to the club he always comes up to you like you’re a stranger or smth

“I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?” ;)

“ChRisssss”

He’d try this the whole night making random guys come to your “rescue”

Chris is laughing his ass off while you calmly tell them that it’s just your bf

He doesn’t seem to be the jealous type

He’s v confident that u love him and only him

Which is true

It takes a lot in him to get jealous

But when he does

OOFFF

You better be scared

He never takes it out on you, just the guy who seemed to cross a boundary that Chris drew in his imagination

You’re the one who gets jealous easily for sure

SO MANY PRETTY FEMALES THROWING THEMSELVES ON HIM MAKES YOU SEE RED

But he always shows you that you’re the only one he wants if you know what I mean ;)

Honestly, y’all don’t even cook, just order a shit ton of food while watching movies or the both of you just work on your individual projects

If you ever get stressed over work or a project from uni hes always there

Softly rubbing your shoulder as he presses kisses soft kisses along the shell of your ear sending shiver down your spine as you relaax

It might lead to ;) or it could end in you cuddling until you get your mojo back

The sEX is bOmB bTw ;))))))))

Like, this dude is so into overstimulation and subspace that he’ll have you c*mmimg multiple times a night :):

Ooff

Edging is suCH a big turn on for this boy

Y’all fuck like rabbits no doubt

Public sEx is definitely HIS thing

Expect a quickie after each show in his dressing room when you visit him on tour ;)

Anything you do is such a turn on for him

You literally make him feel like a hormonal teenager again

I’m 92% sure this boy will cry one tour bc he misses you sm

Which leads you to surprising him on the other side of the world

Which he is super grateful for :’)

And then y’all have some bomb sex cause y’all a bunch of sex addicts m8

Whenever he feels down he just rests his head on your boobs and wrap his long arms around your body

You let him rant as much as he wants

And somehow you know whether or not he wants advice or just someone to listen

vice versa

Now imma be 100% honest

Don’t @ me

I feel like it’ll take such a long time for Chris’s mother to actually like you

He’s such a mommas boy that just seeing him with another woman might make her skeptical

Ooff I’m crossing dangerous grounds here

He’s siblings and grandmother automatically loved you, but his mother was distant

Christopher has to have a heartfelt conversation with her about it beCAUSE HE LOVES YOU SM AND HE NEEDS THE WOMAN OF HIS LIFE TO ACCEPT THAT

This lowkey makes you feel like an intruder

You feel as if you’re ruining their relationship

But you’ll also have a heartfelt convo with her and at the end of the day y’all would get along once she sees how much you love and care for her son

It probably took a year for y’all to move in together

But when you do, y’all have even more fun and adventures than before

Y’all goals asf

Most of his ig stories are about you

Videos, promoting your posts etc the whole package deal

Subtle matching tattoos

You say “I love you” first and he’s all blushy and giggle which makes you all bullishly and giggly as well :’)

And y’all just make love as he repeats the words and over and over :’)

He always has his hands around your shoulder

Pulling you closer at the most random times

HUGS EVERYWHERE MAN

Omfg this man smells like christmas heaven

Just like his mom, your family wasn’t certain about him first

And by your family i mean your dad(or male figure if you’re dadless :’)

Making him sad

But you’ll do your best to convince you dad that he is a good guy wHICH HE IS!!!!

After a while, he gave Chris a shot

And that’s all you ask for Tbfh

Will subtly mention you in interviews which would cause the guys to give each other knowing stares

Just Like Richard, you receive hate after hate

BUT YALL FICKING TOO HARD TO NOTICE!!

It sometimes gets to you but Chris is always there to comfort you

Making you go all uwu

He goes full mom mode whenever you get sick

Will google your symptoms

Lowkey has a mental breakdown when google tells him that you only have two weeks to live lol

He later calls his mom and she tells him what he should do

Will try to help you with your work but he just gives you a look and gives tf up

Soft hours late at night

You guys talk about your future and marriage and kids and it just lives you all soft and warm inside

Little did you know that he feels the exact same

You’d be in his arms slightly leaning against the headboard as your dress hands play with each other fingers talking about nothing and everything

Sings to you whenever you have trouble sleeping

THE GUYS LOVE YOU

Did I mention that? Lol

Just like any new friendship

Y’all were awkward at first but after a few minutes of getting to know each other they all loved you

Especially Erick, that boy is your child and you will protect him from any danger in the world lmao

That’s it my ppl :’)

Deuces once again :’)🤙🏼

#cnco headcanon #cnco imagine #cnco fanfic #cnco x reader #cnco one shot #cnco imagines #christopher velez #christopher velez imagine #christopher velez headcanon

310 notes · View notes

lupihero · 5 years ago

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

tagged by: @bxstiae thank u!! tagging: anyone who wants to do this ♡

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au ( has au verses ) / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / MAYBE.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / MAYBE.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon? — pretty strictly. tbh i think i could do with a little more canon-divergence but i usually focus pretty hard on canon and diverging too far in my own muses, unless they were poorly written, tends to bother me.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — need a sweet country boy with a heart of gold who loves hard and fast and considers everyone he loves as part of his family ? how about a boy that can kick your ass to the sacred realm and back with his bare hands and a dizzying amount of strength ? how about a big friendly wolf that really doesn’t act all that much like a wolf but is big and soft and a really nice companion ? a boy that carries on and sees the best in people despite his trauma ? a boy who’s an absolute fucking dork and loses his mind whenever he sees a cat ? will smith poses @ link

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — he’s the protagonist, he’s too nice, too likable, and he might be, from some perspectives, super overpowered. a lot of his flaws are issues that come with a lot of protagonist characters, like selflessness to a fault, recklessness, a desire to help no matter the cost, etc., and it might come across as overdone or unoriginal for someone like him.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — twipri has been my favorite video game of all time since i first played it the xmas after it came out, when i was 7. it was an unbelievably huge influence on my life, and got me through a whole lot of shit i’d have to go through up until i was a teenager. it was a constant for me, a comfort. and link, being the protagonist, was of course the center of it. i connected to him really hard, and becoming him whenever i played the game was like magic to me as a kid. honestly, i dont know why i didnt write him until this year, because he’s been such an easy headspace for me to slip into for years. ig i just figured it was about time? id already written both tp zel and midna at separate points, so it was only right to complete the trio ksjfgh

What keeps your inspiration going? — the game itself, its soundtrack, art, linked universe and its little fandom, and you guys! just seeing all of your posts and your passion for loz and its characters helps fuel the love i have for it too!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. ( i have. built up a lot of hcs about this boy over the years )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. ( i usually do write drabbles every now and then, idk why i haven’t for link yet )

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. ( hmm i mean. i think i am, anyway?? i like the way i portray him, but i guess im sorta insecure about whether or not yall like my portrayal lmao )

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. ( more or less, it depends on the day. back when i was a Gifted Kid my Gift was writing, and i was literally always chosen to read things i wrote aloud at school assemblies and things, so i. very much have a love / hate relationship w it )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. ( i mean. i try really hard not to be but :’^) )

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — tbh, i don’t know?? i usually do with other muses, but bc twi is very special to me i have literally no idea how well i would take it. of course, if u do have criticism ( of the constructive sort, of course ), i still welcome it

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — yes!!! if you ever have anything you wanna know about twi and the way i write him, please ask!!!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — nope. unless it’s in the context of sharing hcs back and forth and building on each other or part of a friendly conversation, i don’t want to hear why you think i’m wrong. i still think about that personal that rb’d a hc i made a month or so ago and put in the tags all the reasons they disagreed w me and i wish i didn’t bc i hate it

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i?? dunno??? i guess i’d just tell them to unfollow. i’m not here to write link the way you think he should be written, i’m here to write him the way i want to.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — hkljfg does anyone hate link??? like. he’s link. he’s neutral at worst. but it’s not my business if someone hates him, so to each their own ig

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — mm i don’t mind it, but i don’t really see the point. rp is a form of writing that doesn’t need much editing, and when it does, we are our own editors, so of course we’re going to make mistakes and overlook them. english is a complicated and hard language, and typos/misspellings/grammar errors happen and it’s not a big deal

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — yes!! i’m a very laid-back person in general i think, and of course i have things i won’t tolerate and i’ll speak up when i need to, but at the end of the day rp is a hobby, and it’s something we do to have fun, and i know that having fun is the most important part of doing this. though, sometimes i think my anxiety & fear of confrontation might make me a little too lenient on things like my own rules tho kjfhg

that’s about it, congrats for filling out!

#okaY sorry for all the ooc again today!! i feel like drawing so i think im gonna doodle some tonight but #if anyone wants to talk u can ask for my discord or pop into my ims!!#⸢ OUT. ⸥ i’m actually a cat person.#dash games tbt.

2 notes · View notes

frightgothcar · 5 years ago

Text

Gayrea 51 Chapter 2: Not the weirdest thing I’ve heard this week.

Hey yall, thanks for the great feedback on chapter 1 of this fic, I’m super motivated and excited to write this for yall!! Thanks to everyone who’s encouraged me to work on this! It’s been a tough couple of weeks with me, so this chapter is a little late, but I hope you enjoy! (You can also read it on ao3 here)

Previous / Next

“Nice to meet ya, Wes. How about you go ahead and pull that lever so I can get out of this hell-hole.” Danny gestured to the control panel Wes was admiring earlier.

Wes’ hand drifted towards the lever, trembling ever so slightly. “Wait a minute,” He stopped and lowered his eyes at Danny, “How do I know you’re not just trying to trick me?”

Danny groaned and pressed his face up against the glass. “You have my word as a government experiment?” He fluttered his pure white eyelashes. “What, do you need a please too?”

“... Yes.”

“What?”

“I’ll only let you out if you say please.”

“Aw c’mon, that’s so stupid-”

“Or, I could just alert the guards right now.” He glanced at the control panel again before deciding on a large red button.

Danny snorted and raised an eyebrow, “You realize you’ll be in even worse trouble than I will if you do that.”

“You think I care if I die? Ha! Do you really want to squander your one chance at escape because you didn’t want to say please?”

Danny scowled then grinned, “Damn, Wes, I’m impressed. Alright. May I please be let out?”

Wes pulled down the lever before he had a chance to hesitate. All the lights in the hallway began flashing red. An alarm blared from the intercom. Danny reached through the glass, grabbed his arm and yanked him into a wall. Oh god, was this really how he was gonna go? Beaten to death by an alien? He held his breath and waited for the impact, but it never came. He cracked open an eye and realized they were outside. Danny grinned up at him.

“Surprise!” he exclaimed before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped against Wes’ chest.

“Oh, god what just happened?” Wes whispered to himself, his arms instinctively catching Danny and shifting his unconscious form into a bridal carry. The alarm was still blaring, it was only a matter of time before someone realized what was happening and took him out with a well-placed shot. Without giving the situation a second thought he took off, towards the gate. As he got closer to the front of the building he realized something seemed off. The previously endless rain of bullets had stopped, the noise replaced by the triumphant shouts of the mob. The gate was ripped off its hinges as more and more people flooded into the compound, destroying everything that stood in their way with sheer force.

It was almost beautiful, the chaos of it all. But Wes didn’t have time to admire the sight. He shifted Danny in his arms and began pushing through the mass of people, most of which made way after seeing what (or rather, who) he was carrying. He felt as though he was back in school almost, moving through the desert like pushing through droves of Freshman on his way to class. The crowd finally began to thin out, giving Wes enough space to break into a sprint. His mind was so focused on getting out of there he barely even reacted when he reached his truck, automatically unlocking the doors and settling Danny inside. His door wasn’t even shut all the way when he peeled away from his parking spot, weaving through parked cars and coolers to the main road. He barreled down the stretch of concrete, at least 20 miles over the speed limit. His only thought was to get as far away from there as possible.

Once he reached the freeway he began to calm down. He turned on the radio and fell into a sort of lull as he drove. His mind remained on autopilot, stopping to get gas once then driving through the night. Every once in awhile a memory of bloodsoaked hands or flashing lights would try to get through but he shut them out, instead focusing on the road and the static-y pop music blaring from the radio. A hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked to the side, almost veering off the side of the road. He pulled into the shoulder and glared at his passenger with bloodshot eyes.

“What?” He hissed.

“Are you okay?” Danny asked, his sarcastic demeanor was gone, replaced with genuine worry, “When did you last sleep?”

Wes shrugged and closed his eyes to shut out the rising sun, “Does it matter?”

“Well, duh. You look like shit and I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be driving if you’re… compromised.”

“What do you know, Alien?”

Danny rolled his eyes, “Clearly more than you, Human. Why don’t we take a break and then you can take us- Where are we going?”

Wes shrugged and dragged a hand across his face, “No fucking clue.”

Danny groaned, “Great. Out of all the people that could’ve busted me out it had to be you.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He shot back.

“It means,” Danny propped his elbows up on the center console and stared into Wes’ eyes, “That you are fucking stupid! What kind of idiot breaks into a highly guarded government facility without a fucking plan?”

Danny collapsed back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring out the window. The sun was just beginning to come up, sending a pale orange light across his face, emphasizing his cheekbones. It was almost enough to make Wes forget about the angry words he’d just said to him. Almost.

“Not very fucking grateful, are we?” He bit back, “ I saved your goddamn skin and I don’t even get a fucking thank you?”

“Considering you’re probably going to get us killed, no.”

“Great. Fucking great. Well then, what’s your brilliant plan, Mr. Smartass?”

Danny turned back to Wes and shrugged. All the anger drained from his face, leaving him with a more neutral expression. “I dunno, believe it or not, I’m not exactly an expert with the outside world.”

Wes sighed, “I suppose that makes sense… you’re right. I should get some sleep, I’m sure this whole situation will make more sense in the morning.”

“Afternoon.” Danny corrected.

“Huh?”

“Well, it’s already morning, so if you sleep the typical 8 hours, you’ll be waking up in the afternoon.”

“Pretty bold of you to assume I have a normal sleeping schedule. See you in the morning.” Wes reclined his seat and turned on his side, facing the door.

“So that's just it? You’re leaving me, a guy you met like 3 hours ago alone in your car for an undetermined amount of time with no guarantee that I’m not gonna just drive off without you?”

“That depends. Can you drive?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Cool. Try not to die without me, see you in the morning.” Wes began fake snoring obnoxiously loud, his eyes squeezed shut.

Danny rolled his eyes, making a mental note to get back at him for their whole exchange and looked out the window. It had been a while since he’d seen the sun, and he’d really forgotten how beautiful it was. The pictures online never really did it justice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wes woke to a knocking on his car window. A police officer stood on the other side of the glass. A scowl painted her face, her eyes were covered by dark sunglasses, but if Wes had to guess he’d say they held the same disdain. He sat up his chair and rolled down the window.

“How can I help you, officer?” He said, anxiety twinging his voice.

“Are you aware that you’re parked illegally?” She looked him up and down, sizing him up.

“Um, well, uh-” He stuttered.

“Actually, Ma’am, our engine shorted out,” A voice came from behind him. Wes’ eyes went wide. Not only were they parked illegally, but he was harboring an alien prisoner. They were so screwed. “Me and my friend here were on our way to a cosplay contest and got a little lost. We’re waiting on triple-A, but they’re taking a while. W- William decided to take a little nap to keep his energy up while I waited on them.”

Danny handed the Officer Wes’ phone that he had somehow managed to not only steal but unlock in the short time Wes had been asleep. She lowered her glasses to the bridge of her nose and glanced at the screen.

“Everything seems to be in order,” She nodded begrudgingly, “Do you boys need a lift?”

“No thank you, Ma’am,” Danny smiled warmly, showing off a pair glistening pair of white fangs “We’ll be fine.”

They waited for the officer to get back into her patrol car, talk to her partner, then drive off before talking again.

“What the fuck was that?” Wes glared.

“Gee, thanks for saving our asses, Danny, you’re so brave and handsome-” Danny imitated Wes in a squeaky voice.

“Yeah, sure, thanks for almost getting us killed!”

“Oh, really, and you had a much better plan than me how?”

“I dunno! But you didn’t have to talk to her! You should’ve hid, I’m surprised she didn’t kill us! After what happened yesterday we have to be careful, there's probably a fucking SWAT team after you!” Wes shouted.

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no ‘us’.” Danny crossed his arms, “Plus they wouldn’t kill me. I’m too valuable. Maybe you, but not me.”

“How reassuring,” Wes said dryly.

“Now, let's get out of this godforsaken desert!” He commanded.

“It’s too fucking early for this.” Wes groaned and hit his head against the steering wheel with a soft thunk.

“Oh, no, you are NOT falling asleep on me again!” Danny scolded, “We are going to eat some food and then we’re gonna go our separate ways. Sound good to you?”

Wes nodded, slowly raising his head and starting the car. “But before we go anywhere, you’re gonna need a change of outfits, my friend.”

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” Danny asked.

Wes drove onto the freeway, “Other than looking like you just escaped space prison, nothing.”

“Well I don’t see how a costume change will make all of this,” he gestured to himself, “less suspicious, but by all means, try.”

“You really have no faith in me, huh?”

“Nope,” Danny said, popping the p.

Wes pulled into the next exit, stopping at a Shell station. The neon sign flickered, as if it was winking at them, warmly inviting whatever visitors happened to pass through the abandoned stretch of road. He climbed out of the cab of his truck and stretched, his bones cracking loudly. Danny followed suit, swinging open the passenger door and planting his bare feet on the hot pavement, then immediately yelping and retracting them, opting to instead float a few inches off the ground.

“What the fuck?” he murmured, staring at the ground.

“Oh, right, shoes. Add that to the list.” Wes remarked, reaching into the bed of his truck and pulling out a black duffel bag. He slung it over his shoulder and walked towards the small convince store. The glass door swung open with a cheery little jingle. Wes held open the door for Danny, placing his arm around his shoulders and gently pushing him so his feet touched the white tile floor.

“Humans don’t float,” he whispered.

Danny shifted uncomfortably, rising onto his tip-toes to regain some of the height he’d lost, “Fine.”

Much to Danny’s annoyance, Wes kept his arm around his shoulders as he guided him effortlessly past the lone employee, who clearly wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with the rather strange pair, and into the bathroom. Once the door was locked, he unceremoniously dropped his bag to the floor. He spent a few minutes scrubbing his hands and arms clean of the blood from the previous day off, which felt almost as good as a shower. Once he had dried himself off he knelt down to go through his clothes.

“I’m kinda broke, so you’ll have to borrow some of my clothes for now,” Wes said, unzipping his bag and pulling out a pair of wrinkled jeans for himself, pulling them over his shorts as he continued talking. “Though, baggy clothes might work better, considering the whole blue skin thing.”

He dug through the bag for a few seconds, then handed Danny a Black hoodie, blue jeans, and a pair of well-worn flipflops.

“I’m gonna give you some privacy, open the door when you’re done, okay?”

“Huh? What, why?” Danny asked as Wes reached for the door handle.

He turned back toward Danny, “Because you’re changing?”

“Oh, this is a cultural thing, got it.” Danny nodded, grinning like he knew a secret, “I was worried you didn’t want to see me naked there for a minute.”

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Wes slammed the door shut behind him, his face dusted with a soft pink blush. He didn’t have to wait long, not even 5 minutes had passed when the door cracked open. He walked into the bathroom, the door automatically locking behind him as it shut.

“Need any help?” he asked, trying his best not to stare at Danny’s bare legs. Apparently the jeans hadn’t been a good fit, hopefully, he was wearing underwear.

“This is stupid.” Danny groaned from under the hood of Wes’ oversized jacket. The garment covered him like a cloak, drooping around his shoulders and falling about to his knees. The heavy black material held a fairly unpleasant smell of Cheeto dust, sweat and an excessive amount of deodorant, as if someone had worn it for a few days without washing it. His antenna were tucked behind his ears, his eyes glowed softly under the hood. Even the way he walked was distinctly non-human, he almost glided across the ground, though a bit more clumsily than he had before in a pair of much too large dollar store flip flops. “Nobody is ever gonna buy this.”

Wes adjusted the hood to cover a bit more of Danny’s face, “Oh, trust me, if they’re as ignorant as the people in my hometown, nobody’ll bat an eyelash.”

He raised an eyebrow, “And if they aren’t?”

Wes shrugged, “That whole cosplay excuse was pretty smart, we could just use that again.” He paused for a minute, “Hey, come to think of it, how’d you even learn about cosplay? Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of Super Solider?”

“I wouldn’t say Super Solider, however flattering that is,” Danny’s eyes seemed to flash a tad brighter when he rolled them, “And, even though it’s none of your business, I have an internet connection. I know things.”

“Huh. Not the weirdest thing I’ve heard this week.” He shrugged. “So, uh, the pants didn’t fit?”

“I think this is as good as it gets. Wanna grab some breakfast?”

“Not until you put on pants.”

Danny huffed, not in the mood to argue, he grabbed the jeans off the floor and pulled them on roughly, one leg at a time. He was definitely not wearing underwear. He held them up around his hips to stop them from falling down.

“Ok, I can deal with this.” Wes thought out loud, digging through his bag and pulling out two long ratty shoelaces knotted together. “Alright, so if I just…”

He strung the dirty yellow chord through Danny’s belt loop, pulled it tight and tied it in a bow in front of his stomach. “Here, you can let go now.”

Danny released the faded blue denim, allowing the hoodie to cascade back down to it’s resting place right above his knees. The pants slid down to his hips, but didn’t sag any further. The pant legs ballooned over his feet, making him look vaguely like a toddler in footie pajamas. Wes squatted down and rolled the legs up to Danny’s ankles, leaving them still covering most of his feet, but not as much of a tripping hazard.

“That's about as good as it gets,” Wes said, standing up and looking Danny up and down. “Ready for some food? Actually... come to think of it, what do you eat, anyway?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I have pretty large canines, so maybe meat? I doubt nutrition sludge is very popular among the populace.”

“You’d be surprised,” Wes deadpanned, “Ok, I have…”

He dug through his pocket, depositing a five-dollar bill, two ones, and six pennies. “Oh, score! I think there’s a McDonalds around the corner, we can get whatever looks good to you, yeah?”

“Sounds fine,” Danny responded, pulling open the door to the single-stall bathroom and stepping back into the gas station convenience store. The attendant didn’t even glance up from her tabloid as the two of them walked out the door, only looking up once they’d left, catching a glimpse of Danny’s feet hovering about a half-inch over the parking lot.

Wes slung his bag into the back of the truck, got into his car, and put his key into the ignition.

“Shit!” He swore, “We’re almost out of gas. Shit!”

Danny’s stomach grumbled loudly, “Can’t it wait? I think my stomach is eating itself from the inside out.”

Wes groaned, but got back out of the car, locking it behind him and taking his duffel from the bed of the trunk. He opened the passenger door for Danny and led him across the street. He didn’t bother to look both ways, a bad habit picked up from growing up in the calm neighborhoods and safe streets of Amity Park.

Entering the McDonalds was like entering another dimension. Although the sun shone brightly outside, none filtered in through the large windows. The room was lit by yellow LED lights, the ones by the bathrooms flickering menacingly. A chill went down Wes’ spine. Something felt off about this place. Danny pranced inside, seemingly oblivious to the eerie atmosphere in the restaurant.

“What’s that smell?” Danny asked dreamily, following his nose up to the counter.

“Uh, food,” Wes answered, shaking his head to snap himself out of his trance. “Go ahead and order, I’m gonna go check something.”

Wes pressed the wadded up bills into Danny’s hand. Danny giggled like a toddler and began muttering to himself while studying the glowing menu above the counter. Wes followed, looking behind the counter suspiciously. Nobody was in the restaurant, the kitchen was completely empty. Actually, he walked towards one of the gaping windows and surveyed the parking lot. Nothing. The only car in sight was his red truck and what he assumed was the gas station attendant’s blue jeep.

“Hey, Danny,” Wes said, turning around, “I don’t think-”

Danny was sitting on one of the tables in the kitchen, scarfing down a hamburger. He paused mid-bite and looked at Wes.

“Whha?” His voice was muffled by the food, the action sent soggy morsels flying everywhere. Wes held up a finger, getting ready to tell Danny off when he decided, to hell with it. He had already broken the law once (or twice) today, what could a little food heist hurt? He vaulted over the counter and pulled another cheeseburger from where it had been abandoned. It seemed like the employees had left in a hurry, half-filled out orders sat in rows on the prep table. Some of them were still warm. Wes selected a two double cheeseburger meal and hoisted himself up on the table next to Danny, who had finished his burger and was starting on a large fry. He was eating it like it was all one thing, holding the wrapper and biting all the fries at once.

“Have at least a little class!” Wes said, grabbing Danny’s wrist, “What kind of sociopath eats fries like that?”

“Me,” Danny answered, spraying flecks of fry all over Wes’s face, “Now hand ‘em over, I’m hungry!”

“Not until you start acting normal!” Wes snorted, plucking one of Danny’s fries from the container and chomping down on it.

Danny made a screeching noise, not unlike an angry seagull and dove for the food. Despite only weighing somewhere in the low hundreds, Danny was crazy strong, easily pinning Wes to the floor and snatching his meal. He leaned into Wes’ face and hissed, showing off the chunks of food stuck in his teeth. He went back to sitting on the table, his legs crossed and one of his clawed hands clutching Wes’ burger. He stuck his tongue out as Wes got up, dusted himself off, and sat back down on the table, then took another bite of the fries. Wes stuck his tongue out in return and grabbed the second burger, wolfing it down in record time.

A siren shrieked in the distance, Wes flinched. “What the fuck is that?”

Danny shrugged as he ate a chicken nugget, “Who cares?”

Another bout of piercing sounds broke out, louder now.

“I dunno Danny, it sounds like it’s getting closer, I’m getting a bad feeling. Let’s go…” Wes began shoving food into a bag, resisting the urge to cover his ears with his hands.

An impossibly bright light pierced through the window, another siren began, right outside this time. Danny shoved another handful of chicken nuggets and grabbed Wes’ arm, pulling him towards the employee’s entrance. As they stepped back into the heat Danny’s form began to flicker, eventually turning entirely transparent. Wes decided not to ask questions, instead allowing the (invisible) hand to continue pulling him away from the restaurant, looping around about 20 black cars pulled in a circle around the McDonalds. His legs began to falter as he saw armed men climbing out of the cars, surrounding the building. One man began to shout into a megaphone. Wes’ blood rushed in his ears, his vision was blurring in fear. Danny might’ve been see-through, but there was no guarantee Wes would be getting out of this alive.

“C’mon, Wes, pick it up, do you want to die?” Danny hissed, yanking Wes’ wrist, forcing him to take another step.

“He’s not in there!” A voice sounded, “The tracker’s pointed over here!”

Wes froze. The man was pointing straight at him. He lifted his gun. It was at that moment he knew, he was going to die.

#danny phantom #fanfiction #writing #my writing #wes x danny #danny x wes #wes weston #tw guns #tw blood #ask to tag #gayrea 51 #romance #unidentified flying ship #slowburn-ish #im gay and important #pls reblog #pls comment #call me out if my writings bad

18 notes · View notes

heesgf · 6 years ago

Text

studying w/ lee byounggon!

hello cutest ppl of the world!!! here is a present for u <3 and pls read my scenario for bad boy gon!! or soft blurb gon

studying w/ lee byounggon (a bad idea)

OK SO you and byounggon have AP biology together, and somehow, by the grace of GOd himself, you’ve made it to the end of the year

It’s time for ur final exam!!! yay!! because u can finally peace TF out of that class, but aww :’(( bc you have a final exam with 100 multiple choice and 10 written questions 😔

some of ur ap bio shenanigans have included:

byounggon reading multiple questions OUT LOUD while you are writing the test and he literally doesn’t even notice

Like he just does it so naturally??? you’ll be side eyeing him through the divider that separates your desks

in your head, you’ll be like “AHEMMMM at LEAST read out the answers too damn ...”

He does not read out the answers :/

even tho it can be kind of off-putting, his voice is rlly deep and soothing!!!! so honestly it kind of helps your test anxiety

......but u will never admit that... he would have too much power

you and byounggon once made an animal cell out of rice krispy treats & candy

you guys left the project to the very last minute because collectively u have one brain cell

U guys started building but then u ate so much candy, you ended up puking🤮

After u had released the #barf, you and byounggon choose to cuddle up on the couch and u just chill for a couple hours

Somehow u convinced him to watch bird box????? He was DYING!!!

But it’s ok bc ur the Best Significant Other Ever and you used imdb to research every possible death scene!! and u gave him a solid 3 second warning every time

ONE TIME u were just a little bit off and he watched something a lil gruesome

U lost ur abiliity to hear from the scream that he released

“im never watching a movie with you AGAIN!”

“i said i was SORRY sodfjsdiofjsdio”

He complained for so long but then you promised you’d make it up to him with some kisses and he was like.... “hehehe ok im down”

a whole baby!!!!!

Its around 11pm now!! You and gon are cuddling on the couch, and it’s so warm, and cute, and wholesome <333

Ur running ur fingers through his soft hair and playing with his fingers; he’s just calmly humming and loving every minute of this

u start to close ur eyes and u feel kinda sleepy, so you lay your head on byounggon’s chest and just nestle in

you’re about to say “goodnight chief” and call it a night

But something feels off?

u suddenly shoot TF up and your mind is racing and ur like “thE PROJECT !!”, real movie type shit

Ur trying not to LOSE UR MIND while byounggon is just snoring away... his arms are wrapped so tightly around u, and ur mind is still 23% asleep

honestly... maybe u should just lean back into his chest and fall asleep....

But then ur guilt complex is like ‘NO the pROJECT’

U want to wake him up but Byounggon: has left the chat

You start poking at his cheek erratically, and when he FINALLY wakes up, he’s all mumbley and tired and CUTE

U break the tragic news to him and now you’re both contemplating mental breakdowns

For the next 6 hours you guys are DEDICATED to this project

U show up to school the next morning with ur masterpiece:

(yall i rlly made that shit, respect me)

your eyes are SO unbelievably red, and for some reason, ur hair has marshmallow fluff in it????? u have to convince byounggon not to eat that shit on four separate occasions

“It looks yummy”

“PLS restrain urself”

So ur looking a little bit busted, but still cute, bc ur BEAUTIFUL nd sexy

SOMEHOW byounggon still looks perfect???? He looks like he’s just been rejuvenated by 10 hours of sleep; his skin is glowing and his eyes are twinkling... #unfair

when u guys show up to class, your teacher is sO happy with your project!!!!

but then she takes one look at you and she’s like, “(y/n) can i talk to you for a minute pls?”

“ uhh yeah ok, sure!!”

U think she’s about to tell you that she’s so proud of you both for coming up with such a creative idea, and for doing such a good job with the materials u used, but then she’s like:

“(y/n) ur eyes are so red”

ur kinda :’((( bc u think she’s about to scold you for pulling an allnighter...she’s a mama bear

“Pls stop smoking before class it’s rlly inappropriate”

Ur mouth is dropped WIDE open and byounggon is in the corner, snickering the sleep deprivation away: u want to kILL HIM!

Honestly, ur so shook, u kinda just stand there in silence while your teacher just shakes her head and does one of those “tsk tsk tsk” things and walks away

When u go back to ur desk, byounggon is like, “yea (y/n), u should rlly stop smoking at school, it’s super rude and honestly kind of distract-”

The look u give him makes him shut UP IMMEDIATELY

but then he just cranes his long arms around ur waist and smiles into the crook of ur neck and he’s like: “baby im sorry i love u”

So wholesome :’))))

Ur choked up?? And after all that work, a little bit delirious? U lean back into him and tilt ur head to the side so he can kiss u

when he pulls away he gives u this rlly uneven smirk

“even if u smoke before class”

“RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA [redacted]”

A couple weeks later, u guys have to do this lab on human heart rate and metabolism

bc byounggon is ur deskmate, he’s also ur lab partner (unfortunately)

Byounggon is RLLY SMART, but honestly u guys are just rlly unproductive when ur together bc u just want to. . .. hug him (relatable)

For one part of the lab, somebody needs to stick their hand into ice water while the other person monitors their heart rate

Byounggon REALLY passionately wants to be the one to dunk his hand in the water tank and ur just like “lmao ok calm down”

HIS HAND HAS BEEN IN THE ICE WATER FOR THREE MINUTES

@ this point, ur concerned x 3493049304930

He’s just like: “im FINE it’s FINE, keep going”

His eyes are TWITCHING

U have to forcefully yank his hand out of the water because he literally will NOT??? why is he like this

But it’s ok bc u warmed up his hand with lots hand holding and sweet lil kisses <333333

overall, bio have been a WILD ride, but byounggon has made it so much more enjoyable,,, and u guys love each other lots,,, (y/n) and byounggon for cutest couple 2k19 😘

Okay so now for the studying!!!

byounggon kind of had to beg to get you to study with him at the library

but that’s only because every time u study with him, u dont retain SHIT, bc ur too busy drooling over his jawline

U wanted to be rlly strict and firm so you could actually be well prepared!!!! But when he started whining and hugging on you,,,, what wEre you SUppOSED to DO?!?

So NOW, u and gon are at the library

U make him sit across from u

Because the lord knows, if he’s sitting next to, he will not stop kissing ur face and u RLLY need to do some learning!!! Studious Queen

twelve minutes into mitosis and chill, byounggon is pouting and using his biology textbook as a pillow

Literally byounggon is the kind of guy that looks like he’d be a rlly messy student, but he will take one look at the textbook, and get a 96%

So ofc, he’s like... “studying... who’s she?”

He’s just staring at you

In this moment, u look SO CUTE, bc ur head is burried in your book, and ur hair is adorably messy, and ur eyebrows are scrunched together bc ur rlly focused

Ur the cutest thing he ever saw?????

“Gon,,, baby u have to stop staring at me,, i can’t concentrate”

He’s so GOOFY

“im noooooooooot”

(he totally is)

It’s been about two hours?? Byounggon took a power nap, and u reviewed everything u possibly could,,, now u just want byounggon to hum u to sleep

byounggon is POWERED UP (stream power up by red velvet) from his nap and he’s very, very, very giddy

And a lil clingy bc u haven’t cuddled him today yet :/

He’s been saying “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” for about 8 minutes,,, u would throw ur bag of hot cheetos at him but he’s just too pretty

He’s laughing AT HIMSELF

Ur shaking ur head and laughing at him too

The librarian POPS UP out of literally nowhere?? She looks at byounggon playing candy crush on his phone and she’s like “SHHHHHHHHHH!!! young man! you are being so disrespectful! this place is for students to study! U need to leave immediately”

She’s about to point her finger at you too, but then:

“Ma’am i’ve never seen this boy in my whole life” 😜

Byounggon is Taken Aback™

He rlly can’t believe u just did that

U start laughing so hard bc PAYBACK

But his mind is just thinking.. . “top ten worst anime betrayals of all time”

The librarian is so annoyed with both of you she just turns around and mumbles something like “stupID KIDS”

U have to lug byounggon outside bc now he’s #embarrassed bc of the librarian, and #hurt because u threw him under the bus

He’s still pretending to be upset by the time u guys make it back to his house, and u have to give him all sorts of compliments to make everything okay again

“ur chin.... is straight SEXY”

“i think it’s cute that u eat bananas with sriracha”

“i, for one, like the screams you make when we watch horror movies”

THE COMPLIMENTS ARE SO STUPID BUT FOR SOME REASON HE’S BLUSHING???? blushy babyyyyy 💖

u conclude with a veryyyy sweet kiss on his lips

let’s just say... he forgives u

THE NEXT DAY!!! It’s time for ur exam omgomg :’))))))

byounggon finishes that shit in 26 minutes and somehow ends up getting a 92%

it took u a solid 48 minutes and u ended up with a nice and spicy 90%

he gets the better mark bc he’s god Lee Byounggon??? U will never understand bc he rlly doesn’t even try.... U can’t relate

But it’s ok

Because he’s the cutest thing to ever exist in the world, and even if he makes u the most unproductive person in existence, u love him more than anything <333

And he loves u bby!!!!!

the librarian, on the other, loves neither of u 😔 ......

THE END ! ! ! !

i love u all!! and thank u for ur support!! hit like if u feel bad for the librarian 😔

#ygtb #ygtb scenario #yg treasure box #PLS POST #byounggon scenario

108 notes · View notes

survivor-tierradelfuego · 5 years ago

Text

Ep. 3: “Quite honestly it was a train wreck” - John

Zack M

really disappointed in my tribe right now.

we are about to some telephone challenge and we needed 3 people to do this. literally excuse after excuse after excuse from everyone on the tribe as to why they couldn't do it .... and we wonder why we are losing. ugh. anyways, i'm going to do this shit with my crappy wifi because i rather act like i'm helping than bow out out of fear. and honestly i want to show that i'm committed to the tribe. it would be fucking beast mode to pull out the first win of the season for us. literally let me be the first to do everything for this tribe.

also my game feels strong so if we lose again lol whatever.

oh yeah, amy went home. *as we go on, we remember....*

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v17lq3Nh054

Aimee

https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/165556484/Screaming-woman-in-car

Zack M

storytelephone confession time: i killed it. at least with the information that made it's way to me. i only missed one question that ben told me. the main reason we got 9.9/10 is because leanne forgot 6 of the 8 animals when telling ben and then we had the 10% disadvantage. i know leanne is to blame for 5% of that. curious about who got the other 5%. but like here's the thing, i love leanne. i feel confident in her loyalty so i'll smile and let that one go. i got her back. ben told me at the end of the challenge that aimee shared with him that i'm "social". so like i guess i have to stop being nice to her. i don't really want her to be the next one eliminated but strike one was how upset she seemed to be with me after telling her the only reason we didn't tell her was because neil threw her name out as someone he was talking to. i really wish she would have listened to me and not messaged everyone. i feel like that put a target on her back. strike two is mentioning my name once. right now she isn't my target but she is on the edge. i don't know who my target is right now tbh. really there's only aimee and najwah that i would consider. i hope we don't get a tribe swap because at this rate, making the merge isn't even a question for me and i'd like to keep it that way. also, ben and i are starting to call each other a power duo. i really would like to make it to the final two with him even though i've promised cody a final two. cody is hilarious but he gives me anxiety. he seems to be losing his cool and going into messy territory. he has too many conversations going which gets him worked up. i need him to focus on what's important. i want someone who i can work with. i'm not trying to babysit. but no plans of cutting that tie until the merge happens and then i will revisit the thought. cool calm and collected. you get like one freak out "what if" moment a day with me and then i'm done. what ifs ... it's what kills people's games. if my 5 alliance would just let me vibe and feel people out we would be perfect. i haven't been wrong yet. *knocks on wood*

Pedro A

i feel like those two tribals were completly different...Neil was voted out for talking too much.....and Amy was voted out for being quiet...and coming late

Ryan

These stupid idols... I feel like im so close every time! Who knows, maybe im way off? I seriously just want, no NEED that extra layer of security, even though I'm feeling alright right now

John B

Another Challenge, another time when our tribe can't seem to make a decision. I totally get why nobody ever wants to step up when it comes to taking charge in a challenge, but honestly I have no clue how we keep winning when the other tribe seems to have no issue making group decisions. There must totally be a Head Honcho over there running things behind the scenes. I have some new juicy details about the tribe now thanks to Pedro. Pedro, Amy-Louisa, and Ryan have started their "outsiders" alliance and this is stressing me out. Pedro says I'm his number one and then goes and makes an alliance without me. I think I'm getting too hung up on Pedro and I being a pair I need to worry about myself and nobody else. Obviously I'm not going to break things off, but I don't really feel like he needs to know everything I'm doing now. At least I think we are in a pretty good position. I am pretty tight with Kalle, Grae, and hopefully Maddison, and He's really tight with Ryan and Amy-Louisa and we both had a good relationship with Alan and Olivia. Between the two of us we are in an ok spot for the time being. If Tyler goes first if we lose, which still feels like the case for now, I am not sure what we are going to do after that, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. I'm going to keep working on my relationships with everyone for now and hopefully I can keep my paranoia in check. WISH ME LUCK YALL!

Alan B

Tyler put a huuuge target on his back by calling the other tribe trash when they've been doing so well, like not only they probably want to get him out asap but now everyone on our team also wants him out? and also he fluked his first challenge? How on earth did he think that comment would do anything but lower his chances at winning and make him look like a jerk to everyone playing? It's honestly kinda hilarious how bad a move that was

Leanne

So, tribal was nice and easy and went as planned, which was a very good thing, albeit with a couple of downsides. The most obvious of these is, we’ve had our easy vote... now what? I seriously do not even have the first inkling of how things are going to go next time we have to have a vote. Either I don’t realize the wind is blowing in a certain direction, which is scary, or there simply aren’t any real targets right now... and I’ll expand on that possibility later. For now let’s talk about another downside. Yesterday afternoon I got a message from Najwah asking if I’d heard the whispers about someone possibly having an idol. I said no, I didn’t know anything, and asked her where she heard it from. She said, one of the guys. Well, which one? That’s when she asked me to video chat. Finally she told me it was Cody who said to her, *we* think someone has the idol. We. I haven’t heard about this from anyone else, and I know Cody and Zach are tight. I hesitate to ask Zach about it. Who would I say I heard it from? I had to drag Cody’s name out of Najwah, and I don’t want to give her up as my source. I don’t think she made it up. Either Zach or Cody or both are stirring something up. I want them separated. I want Cody out but I don’t think I could get enough people together to make it happen, not to mention the fallout if I tried and succeeded, or failed for that matter. The thing is, I don’t know which of the two is instigating this stuff. First it was the weird vote out of the blue, now this. I’m not going to do anything with it for now except sit on it, but I see they are both schemers who came to play. I’d rather have Cody gone because I haven’t spoken to him individually, but he talks to plenty of other people and I don’t like what he’s up to. Zach, at least, has the appearance of being loyal to me. He hasn’t said word one to me about this potential idol. We check in fairly often with each other, how are you feeling, what are you thinking, we still on?, we got this. Like I said I don’t know what to make of this and don’t want to act rashly. The good news is that Najwah and I had a really nice talk, about all sorts of things. I’ve been trying to get personal with her, telling her things about my life, telling her about things like my ex and our relationship then and now. She seems to respond well to things like that, and I’m grateful for the chat because it’s a good way to make a stronger connection. So we talked about the personal life stuff, and also some game talk. She says she isn’t as close to Sarah as I thought she was. Plus we discussed how much to trust Zach and Cody, which is still an open question. And we compared notes on the idol search. We both made the same error and got the disadvantage in the same place. I asked her if the perfume was an advantage and she said yes. So now we know, and we each told people about the perfume so maybe we can increase our odds of winning something, and hopefully we don’t have to spend our own coins to do so. Really the best thing I got out of the conversation was that I feel even stronger about my relationship with Najwah. I think she is trustworthy and we’ve exchanged info completely upfront, at least I think so anyway. Right now she’s my most important ally. Last night, just after tribal, I reached out to James for the first time one on one. His answer caught my eye. I told him I appreciated that he’s willing to fight for us, and then we got to talking. It was mostly a conversation about what it would be like to be on the real show, but we talked about our shared ineptitude when it comes to anything physical, and debated whether or not we wanted to be on for real. Him, Hell yes. Me, 39 days with no food and no sleep, no thank you. But it was a start. A really good start. No game talk yet but at least we’ve got a foundation. The thing I noticed about James from that conversation was that he’s very hard-core about this. I made some comment like, this game is intense, to which he responded, when I got that buff I was in it to win it. He means business. His love for the show is so strong and shines through everything he says. He’s taking this seriously in the extreme. That’s something to watch out for. A quick sidenote about his answer regarding the potential for a swap. The question said there had been talk of it. Talk? What kind of talk? None that I knew about. Something else to consider. Finally, the challenge. I was having such a hard time deciding whether to step up for it or not. For one thing I was just plain terrified about freezing up under the pressure and letting the team down. But I’d like to think I have a decent memory. Najwah even commented about my memory a couple of times prior. And she was urging me to do it for a few minutes before I told the tribe I would. My thinking was, if there’s something down the line that we don’t all have to be in, maybe something with pictures or something that I really suck at, well, I will have already taken my turn and it’s someone else’s. At least if I try this I might have *some* success. Besides, I owe this tribe after I got us part of that disadvantage. But oh wow was it hard and scary! I take reassurance from Jay saying that was one of the better scores she’s seen in this challenge. Still there was so, so so much that I missed. And now that it’s over I fear I may have miscalculated. Remember how earlier I said there doesn’t seem to be any real public targets right now? Yeah... that. If we lose it’s going to be because I dropped the ball. So either we win and I am the big hero, which doesn’t hold much weight as we saw with Neil, or I lose and there is one clear culprit for the loss. Nice going Leanne.

Zack M

welp. it's happened. someone has sent a message to the wrong group. my literal nightmare.

leanne: That’s what I’m thinking. I’m just deciding whether I want to use up all my coins that way, especially when I don’t know how to get more. najwah: ya sure

LOLOLOLOL what? look i know leanne and najwah are close so this isn't a surprise. also, leanne is the reason for our disadvantage so she is obviously out hunting for the idol. just something to keep in mind when it comes to voting out leanne or najwah. definitely going to have to split the votes in the chance one of them has an idol. nothing exciting is really happening today. this is low key why i like losing. it keeps people on their toes and active. when they are active they don't have time to think. less thinking = more time for zack on this island.

Zack M

this is a post to just to shout out najwah. it's so fucking nice when someone is like i'm available to talk to you about real life stuff and not just game. i love having open honest conversations about feelings. i do feel a little bad saying how much i want to work with her and leanne. it's not a lie but like i have a majority 5 alliance going with 3 choices to vote out and i think those 3 are talking. who am i supposed to say? i refuse to be the first one caught throwing an alliance members name out.

Kalle N

WE FINALLY LOST AND I'M SO HAPPY!! I'm excited for people to start throwing out names, although Tyler seems to be on everyone's chopping block from what I've heard so far. This should be exciting

Amy A

We lost the challenge and I KNOW it was my fault. I didn’t remember half of the stuff Jay told me. Urgh I feel so terrible for my tribe. Fingers crossed I don’t leave the game first.

Cody A.

Hey all!!! I am happier than a white girl at Starbucks in UGGS. I’m so pumped we FINALLY won immunity!!! 🤩🤩🤩 That being said... I’m kinda sad we won’t get to vote Leanne’s ass off tonight. LMAO. But if we’re being honest.. I think she might have the idol anyways, and Aimee would have taken the hit 😭 which is sad. I like aimee. I REALLY like Amy, but we saw how that worked out. Anyways.. I’m thankful we’re not losing another number, with a tribe swap looming, that could have been bad! BTW, I do like Leanne, quite a lot actually, but the girl literally has not had a single conversation with me. Amy missed half the game and still found time to talk to me about her badass hair and struggles with relocating! I guess I should try and end this confession now, TTYL.

Pedro A

we LOST...and i kinda feel like me and jonh are kinda running this tribe....i hope a swap doesn't screw us over

Pedro A

Tyler is the name that everyone came up with ..hes rubbing people the wrong way

Olivia A

I was disappointed about losing our first challenge but I feel better because everyone seems settled on voting for Tyler. The message he sent after the other tribe lost for the 2nd time seemed to rub everyone the wrong way. I think it’ll be an easy vote.

John B

That challenge was rough, honestly I was crying laughing the entire time. Quite honestly it was a train wreck. Im not going to say it was Amy but like.. It wasn't not Amy. I'm not going to throw her under the bus though. Luckily I have my new core four alliance. My dream alliance of me, Pedro, Grae, and Maddison. I am super close with Kalle and Pedro has the outsiders and we both have Olivia. I am cautiously optimistic that this can be an easy vote for Tyler. We will see what happens though.

Zack M

we won! huge shout out to leanne + ben. #teamwork look at god. i'm so glad i was a part of the first win for our team. 11 to 4.5 lol whatt?!? (i don't count the disadvantage because i am not responsible for that) it's been too silent today and i feel like my alliance members are starting to get annoyed with me because i'm may be spiraling a little bit but honestly i've proven myself to be a threat. this isn't for no reason. in this game + real life .... give me validation and i'll shut up. it doesn't have to be the truth.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpw07_jlqxQ&feature=youtu.be

Aimee

https://elysiankardia.tumblr.com/post/623755743585255424 This is what I will be doing tonight after that INSANE WIN! Love these legends getting it done 👑 👑 👑 It was great getting to video chat with Ben and Cody! It finally felt like we had camp life in the game instead of just challenges and tribal. Right now with the bonds I have formed at this point in the game... I am working closest with Najwah and Ben. They are my ride or dies! 💞💖 I trust them to the moon🌙 and back. We really needed this win and I’m so happy Leanne, Ben and Zack were able to pull this through! We all needed a night off. https://64.media.tumblr.com/908f7a445a41c1e3b6c3c0fd4820ebfe/a53f344a539857da-cb/s540x810/80e7cf8f5ad8a99a80784a359c7f03d683aa3efe.gifv

Pedro A

tonight is our first tribal council....Tyler will probably go home...i hope this is the last time we go to tribal....cause after this vote...idk who will be eliminated from our tribe

Sarah

The plan is to vote out Neil tonight and cause a blindside. Everyone is on the same page tonight about not trusting him so I am confident that the plan will go through but also scared as heck.

Kalle N

So far everything has been relatively quiet and simple which terrifies me. Either this will be a 9-1 vote against Tyler, or there are things happening that I'm not involved in... I just have to trust the people I'm talking to and hope it's not me going home I guess. I'm like 75% sure it'll be Tyler that leaves tonight though.

Zack M

i really don't like days off. low key wish someone else would have done the challenge so we could have lost. i get paranoid everyone isn't actually taking today off. cody also shared that najwah and aimee are close so i hope najwah doesn't share that i mentioned aimee because that's bad news for me. should we have kept amy t? ugh.

Maddison

Inevitably our tribe is attending tribal tonight. This seems to be a comprehensive easy vote, but there is never an easy vote in Survivor. Hopefully an idol doesn’t come into play and shock us all. Alliances have definitely been formed and the game is well underway. I have to remember that everyone is playing, regardless of their outward threat level.

John B

Well, we are quickly approaching the first tribal council and I think things are pretty set in stone at this point. Unless I am being completely bamboozled which will make me cry. This vote is going to be too easy which is going to mean trouble for the rest of the votes after this, everybody is getting along too well so if we go to tribal again after this, lines are going to have to be drawn in the sand. I am getting worried about Pedro, I think he may start to become a bit of a liability. He is too nervous for literally everything which is making it impossible to make plans for down the line. He was saying he was wanting to vote out Maddison and I'm like would it be so hard to just vote out someone we aren't in an alliance with?... like... hello?? Alan may be a good next vote because we know they have the idol, on the other hand, them having the idol could come in handy down the line. I think if we lose again before a swap or something Olivia or Alan may be a good plan. I still do not trust Ryan at all, I really don't think he likes me and I am putting in the effort here. If we can bring the "outsider alliance" in with the core four, we would have a solid six that I think would take us far in the game, I am just worried that Pedro is going to start something I don't want to do. Hopefully we can get through this first vote and get back on a winning streak

Ben Kessler

Baba booey! I helped win the challenge for our tribe, so you can just call me Joe Anglim. On a serious note, Zack is very paranoid about people throwing his name out, which I like because it makes him feel like we are close. I would like to vote Leanne out because it looks like she has connections I do not have. Leanne definitely worries me that she has an idol. Just need to keep tabs on everyone and make sure my name isn't thrown out. SarahI found the hidden immunity idol! Yesterday was the first time that I went hunting. I had been told information about the idol hunt through Cody and when he told me what was in the clothes and antique store I had this gut feeling that the idol was in the jewelry box. I had gotten 10 coins yesterday from searching the boat and then I got 5 from Cody and 5 from James, my closest allies, so I was able to buy the jewelry box today. I have spoken with Zack about wanting to share coins in order to get it. I plan on telling Cody because he is my number one and ride or die. I haven’t decided if I am going to tell anyone else or make it known to my alliance. I do feel better knowing that no one else has the idol, and I do not plan on using it anytime soon. This is such a crazy game aishshfbrhe

Najwah

I'm so happy we finally won a damn challenge! So basically Leanne and I had a long video call and we were discussing our advantages and disadvantages etc. In finding the immunity idol. She then accidentally sent a message in the main group lmao. Luckily only Cody and Zack so it so we used that to our advantage and told them where to go when they land in town. Thing is, they gave us no info back? So now we are idol hunting on the places they've been to chacke whether we can actually trust them coz we'd like to work with them. I love Zack as a person but I think he's dangerous as a player. I haven't connected with him as I have with Cody. Trying to connect with Aimee but she seems to keep us all at a distance. We have to go through a crazy winning streak now bc I am not in the mood for my trials. Fes great to have the evening off. Two evenings off actually. Its shark week so that's perfect. I

Najwah

I need to reconnect with Sarah. We haven't spoken much since Day 1. I know Cody talks to her. The only problem I have is that Leanne would like Cody out of the game solely because he's close with me and close with Zack. I'll do everything in my power to protect Cody though. I do feel as though he has loose lips and tells Zack everything which is a liability. Zack has the ability to win this game. He's smart and he has a ruthlessness about him. I'm definitely weary about him. I'll be watching him. He says we can trust him but idk. We will see. Pedro AIf tyler plays an idol...i have no ideia who he will write down Pedro A3 hours till tribal ...and im scared if tyler has an idol

Grae G

I formed a tight alliance w John Pedro and Maddison. I’m still working w the girls and actually like them more but it’s clear John and Pedro are very much in control and I’d love for them to continue believing it. Tyler is gonna be the first to go, just because he didn’t quite fit with the group vibe. Which sucks but you know it happens! No hard feelings if you’re reading this Tyler. Hey it could be me tonight you never know. Its still early yet in this and I’m trying to play a low key game and if it bites me later than so be it lol I honestly don’t have much time between work and life to put more time into it then I am. I think it’ll be basically everyone voting against Tyler maybe a few stragglers but I’m really expecting full majority. If anyone has an idol as of now I’m absolutely shocked and don’t think Tyler has one but who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Amy A.

So everyone keeps saying Tyler is being evicted today but the game is scary so you really never know. First tribal for Maola so I’m excited and scared. Fingers crossed it’s NOT me. I hope it’s an easy tribal and tomorrow morning I’m still in this game.

James Hayden

Today's Day 7. I found 10 coins this morning during my idol hunt. As promised, I gave five to Sarah so she could use them to find the idol. She said she trusts me and is with me 100% and wants to go far in this game together. Clearly, I trust her 100% - or as much as one can in a game like this - and like our odds together. We are also talking about adding a third person from our five. Ben is my pick and she seems on board. From the outside, I don't think we are an obvious trio. I just this move won't bite me in the ass later down the line. God, I hope she's not playing me. If she's, then good on her and she's good at this game.

Tyler H

Not much happened for me for the past few days during this round, but I still think I’m better then everyone

Alan B

My confession is that I procrastinated way too long on my confession XD

Ryan

I believe the plan is simple tonight... well, let's find out

#episodes

0 notes

among-lonely-stars · 6 years ago

Text

Life Can be Unforgiving..

...but as humans we keep pushing. We keep looking for answers. We try and solve our problems. We move on. We survive, we strive for better. We FIGHT.

Since December, life has not been agreeing with me. My daughter got sick the last week of November- a double ear infection and a sinus infection that left her with bronchitis. She was put on a nebulizer for ten days. Got better, then got an ear infection again. (shes still sniffly to this day, but she just started pre-k, so she’s adapting to the germs and shit. I feel so bad for her).

The week before Christmas (literally 12.19.18), I left my house to take Zoey (my kiddo) to school. I had work at 9am. Left the house like normal, it was her last day of school before her winter break. Had some music on and just drove like a normal day. There was a truck and I was like well, okay no biggie, its a truck. Until out of nowhere it spilled all the gigantic rocks it was carrying out onto the road behind it and IN FRONT of ME. I tried avoiding. Tried breaking, tried switching lanes. By then it was too late and it was fight or flight and i did what I had to to try and keep control of my car. We spun out and ended up on the side of the road, luckily avoiding oncoming traffic (we stayed on our side of the road thank goodness). Zoey was fine, cried for like a minute because I tried so hard to show her that mommy was okay and that she was okay (CAR SEATS YALL. USE THEM). Mommy wasn’t crying, that it was okay. We were okay. The car was fine- had grass and shit stuck in the rims, i took out a little pole that was sticking up, but no MAJOR damage was caused. Zoey wanted to go to school, I needed to work so I wasn’t dwelling on what COULD have happened. Work was like PLEASE take your time. So I did. I’ve been funny with driving ever since. It’s a little scary to be honest with you. Even now.

Christmas came and went. It was a little uncomfortable considering it may probably be the last one we spend as a whole family. I saw my mom and noticed she wasnt looking well. She suffers with Multiple Sclerosis, depression, anxiety, paranoia... all that. She went to the hospital the day after Christmas. Docs said she wasnt a danger to herself or others, so they sent her home with some more meds. New Year’s Eve and Day came and went, everything seemed okay...

Fast forward to two weeks ago, Tuesday. I get a phone call from my aunt saying my mom was in the hospital. In a coma. She had OD’d on her meds. Od’d enough where she almost died. If her boyfriend wasnt there with her that morning, I would be minus a mother today- because her airways were closing. Went to see her that day. And there she was. With a breathing tube down her throat assisting her. It’s a hard thing to process. Seeing a parent go through that. Seeing them not wake up to the sound of your voice. There wasnt much I could do. We didnt know when she would wake up. I had to leave, pick up my kid from school, and do my normal mom duties. She woke up that Wednesday. I saw her that Thursday in ICU. She was nervous. Anxious, trying to take her IVs out. Wanting to go home. Wanting to do this and that. But she wasnt talking well. It’s a confusing thing. Everything shes going through. She’s still in the hospital to this day, being observed and everything like that. I have to see her tomorrow and figure out what exactly is going on, until then my aunt has been keeping eyes on her. The reason I havent been able to be over there is because Ive been in NC.

My step mom has been battling cancer for 7 long years. It started with breast cancer that she beat and we were so proud of her for that. The cancer kept coming back in little ways here and there, but my step mom always showed it who was boss. She never doubted her life, not once. Maybe she was afraid, who wouldn’t be, but she was always so strong about it. My dad has been a great husband. He’s been by her side for the longest time now. Three weeks ago he and my step mom came from NC for us to have a small separate Christmas dinner here at my place. My step siblings came, my sister brought her daughter, i have mine. My brother came. We all hung out and it was nice. My step mom was up and walking around, she cooked for us, my dad cooked too. It was nice. I cried when my parents left.

Dad texted me Sunday night, telling me he had taken his wife to the hospital. She’d been feeling pain, getting bad headaches and throwing up constantly all day. Said he had been at the hospital, they took a CAT scan, and an MRI and were waiting for the results. That he would let me know asap. Woke up Monday with a bad feeling. I told myself I wouldnt be able to go to work, but until i heard from my dad, I would just go about things normally. I woke Zoey up, got her ready for school. Deep down i was having a panic attack. I got ready for work, took Zo to school. I left my phone in the car. And when I got back. I had a text waiting for me.

“I told your siblings to come to NC.”

I called, and told dad that I would come too.. He couldnt talk. said he would call me back. I texted him that if he needed me to come I would be there for them. He told me If I could come over to NC that it would be great.

For the purpose of privacy of my dad, siblings and our mom, I will not go into detail about whats going on. Just know, it isn’t looking good. At all. My step mom has fought cancer for years and years, she is very tired. She wants peace, and I hope she is able to have it. We don’t know how long she has, but she is very strong. My dad is holding it together as best as he can. We’re all scared, but respect our mom’s wishes and love her very very much.

We are all given one life. One precious life. Please, while living yours- tell your loved ones how much you love them, how much they mean to you. Live your life to the fullest, be happy. Do what you can to live the best life you can live. Whatever it may be. People are here today and gone the next. things happen quickly. Humans are so strong, never lose hope. We can take so much pain, so much hurt. But with all of that, we can push through, fight, and win. Life is precious, life is worth it. Please, if anyone reads this- Do whatever it takes to keep and live your life to its fullest potential. Be happy. Love yourself. Love others. Family, friends, one another.

0 notes

rayaarchive · 5 years ago

Text

about

THINGS RAYA DOES:

1) Raya sneaking up and blowing frost on Fae’s neck after a bath and he’s still damp enough for it to suck 2) Uses fire magic to give rly warm hugs ?? 3) When she has nothing to do: looks for Cole even though she knows she won’t find him while knowing he will just appear in these situations. She just wants to make sure he’s not alone being sad. That’s it. She just talks to him or tried to get him to play a game with him. 4) She can play the Zhaleika… when ever she can find one. 5) She keeps a spoon on her somewhere. Not always in the same place but just somewhere, be it in her braid or shirt or apron.

You might think it’s for cooking but mostly it’s thrown at people. 6) Raya knows everyone's favorites foods and makes them when they're having bad days. Raya doesn't make a whole lot for herself when she's down, but she does make a mess when baking to make herself feel better 7) I’ve thought about this a few times but I’m not sure if it’s a normal thing or just me; my scars r rly sensitive, and since over 50% of Raya’s hands r covered in burn scar, I think her hands r incredibly sensitive and naturally she’d rly like soft things…. so I imagine she loves playing with ppls hairand that’s a big reason y she tries to get Fahleon to bathe, but also it’s just a thing she does to everyone. 8) The Ravens: …. reasonably, Raya has a separate garden full of sunflowers and corn purely for the birds so they don’t eat the stuff she cooks with “A little birdy told me” is a running joke in skyhold because apparently EVERYONE has a bird Raya notices the birds come to the dungeon often and gives them parcels to take down there when she sees them in the ‘bird garden’. She always asks them politely. There is a ‘bird dish’ outside one of the kitchen windoes where Raya has melted the metal and stone togeather so no one can take the bowl away any more. (Bird or person.) and it’s mostly for Ada with meat, but all the animals end up getting to it any how. The cats terrorize the birds n the garden and there isn’t much she can do about it tbh. They also keep the mice away so she won’t shoo them off 9) Medic edition: Oh your hurt? BITE ME. Shut up, im working. Cauterizes wounds with her HANDS. enjoys your pain because fuck you for being stabbed is the most aggressive pacifist ever Completely silent and quick/efficient during this, she knows what shes doing and shes got like 50 things going through her head and probably just as many things going on with her hands doubles the kitchen as a walk in infirmary HOARDS YARROW - DO NOT TOUCH, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT will probably call you a ‘fuck nut’ or something. WILL SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR WOUND IF YOU DON’T LISTEN TO HER. uses the ‘five-flower remidy’ as a cure all tbh [ Clematis, Cherry Plum, Impatiens, Rock Rose, and Star of Bethlehem ]

10) It’s just occurred to me that Raya has no concept of age. It’s pretty much just “it’s a baby”, “old”, “not old” and like, all the vague area inbetween. Like ur either n diapers, ancient, or “not old” and that’s the only concept of age that registers most of the time.

A list of bullshit that is canon: Raya is a ‘hero of ferelden’ fangirl … not high or low key, but like mid-key Actively tries to make the anxiety bomb that is levy, not have anxiety…. by accidentally giving him anxiety Thinks it’s cool that Fahleon is a warden. Thinks he’s a bit of a dolt for not knowing anything about wardens. Finds it absolutely hilarious that blackwall is better at it than Fahleon so says nothing when she catches on that he is n fact not a warden. Even though Raya takes lessons from Morrigan, she’s petrified of her… More so of Vivienne While not in private, Cullen and Raya still act like dicks to eachother. Tossing barbs at eachother has become something like a game. Raya can’t sing to save her life! Her spacial awareness isn’t the greatest She’s not ticklish at all She made Cullen promise to keep ‘them’ a secret… ppl found out any way. She doesn’t trust most people. That’s why she’s so clingy and tolerant of Fahleon: she trusts him. Both enamored by and scared shitless of dragons Likes collecting bones for no real reason Weird = cool Not very smart outside of plant things

about:

Name: Raya Galina

Age: ~19

Race: Half elf

Status: ex-slave / cook

Raya, if nothing else, is bouncy! Bouncy hair, bouncy clothes, bouncy toes! She’s always bouncing about no matter what she’s doing. She’s an ex-slave, born into it because her mother was a city elf owned by a jeweler. Not a kind man in any sense, but Raya grew up helping and wanting to help. She’s mainly a cook, always has been, but cooking requires a good amount of knowledge with herbs and spices, so she’s a fair herbologist as well. Now that she has her freedom, she’s much more ‘exuberant’ than she has been in the past, which causes some problems, but her freedom is new and important and she’s over excited to fight for it and maintain it….

Raya is a half elf (half human). She’s fully aware but doesn’t mention it until someone else does first or its to defend herself / correct someone. She doesn’t hide her more elf like traits and prefers elves to humans for many reasons. She’s fully aware of her advantages and disadvantages to being a mixed breed.

She recognizes how had it is for both the Dalish and the city elves but she does have day dreams of visiting an Alienage to learn more about her mother’s culture. She’s rather disgusted by humanity and parts of their cultures, but knows it’s the easier life to live.

Raya is darker than most humans on Thedas, yet paler than the elves, with ears also somewhere in the middle. Her hair is pale to nearly white like her mothers. She has large ice blue eyes like her mother (sans the color), as she was an elf, yet her nose is more human. She’s a lean girl with small breast and no hips to speak of, yet her arms and core are toned from years of tedious kneeding. Scars cover her back from being punished with a whip for years… she hides them rather easily with her dress though.

Her hands are burnt on the palms and up over the edges where learning to use fire has licked away the definition in contrast to her feet that are callous from never wearing shoes. And her left eye and cheek are covered with a brown tattoo of her patron god.

Raya’s hands might be dainty because she’s small, but they’re leathery and fuck ugly. They’re covered in scars and burns from learning how to cook and do magic at the same time. Plus I think she forgets that real fire burns (as Opposed to fire she makes that will avoid her) Not all her cooking is magic, just the things that don’t take long or take much effort. I.e. would hand cook biscuits and a small bird but anything bigger than a dog gets to go n the oven

Raya is not religious at all. She knows the varying kinds in her world, likes the idea of them, but doesn’t believe what she doesn’t see. She has faith but not in a religious figure. She has faith in the potential of humanity.

She isn’t very smart (unless it involves food/herbs), she’s illiterate, mildly street smart, but runs mostly on intuition / gut feeling. It’s why she steer a clear of Solas and never takes her eyes off when he around. She has no reason not to like him but she doesn’t trust him at all.

She is ALL emotion. She doesn’t think first before displaying them and her heart is in full view. The only emotion she tries to hide is sadness and even then, she only tries so much. She doesn’t believe in hiding or dimming them and her mother is the one who told her never to bottle emotions or they grew out of control. (Can you imagine if she did and how disasterous itd Be?)

) How do they move and carry themselves? Pace, rhythm, gestures, energy?

Raya has too much energy; she never stops moving. Even when she’s standing still, she’s not still. She’s fidgeting something or another, wether it’s grasping and re grasping or worrying the hymn of her dress or shifting back and forth on her feet. She walks in the same constant movement; her pace is a little off kilter and her speed is inconsistent. She also tends to talk with her hands, either flailing with excitement or her wrists banging her hips when angry.

) How do they present themselves socially? What distinguishes their “persona” from their “true self”, and what causes that difference?

She tries to be very happy for others, and generally is a happy person, and she feels all of an emotion at once. When she’s happy she’s nothing but happy, and nothing but sad when she is, so she hides. She’s incredibly bad at hiding emotion so she will excuse herself with out waiting for an answer if she is upset over something.

) How do they view and feel about relationships, and how might this manifest in how they handle them, if it does?

She doesn’t rly think much about it. If it happens it happens (and she honestly might not notice it happen) but she doesn’t chase it and has no will to chase it. She’d rather have friends than obligations any how.

) What do they wonder about? What sparks their curiosity and imagination, and why? How is this expressed, if it is?

EVERYTHING. She wants to know! If you’re doing something she doesn’t know about she wants to learn, she might not always ask but she will always watch and maybe figure it out herself. She’s also very into animals -accept horses and bats- and isn’t very scared of them at all. She could never tame an animal by waiting because she’s too hyper, but she is persistent enough to in other ways if she can find those other ways.

)How does your character feel about religion? She doesn’t really subscribe to any but she likes both the elven version and the human version(sorta) so when Solas destroys elvish religion, she isn’t all that fucked up over it. Just sad.

)How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations? She’s never been educated? She can’t spell for shit even after she’s thought to read and definitely says “yall” Very much a ‘sound it out’ person.

)Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive? She is very much so afraid of her dad and that won’t ever change. She’s terrified of anyone recognizing her and taking her back and it’s partly why she stayed with the inquisition.

)Does your character have a guilty pleasure? this is probably going to sound fucked up, and maybe obvious if you’ve ever seen the stuff where she fights? But the only thing close to a guilty pleasure she has, is being able to decimate her mana supply while fighting. Shes so hyper all the time that being able to expel all her energy feels weirdly good

) What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? it actually was one of the possible names for my daughter and I still loved it so i decided to use it for an OC

) What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? she of course likes her ears because they got a little bit pointy but she wishes they were more, she loves her legs though, she’s gotten compliments on them before and for her that’s a big deal

) Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? she likes the spring for the rain :)

) What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? she likes rly big soft blankets, not rly Cus she needs them but they’re just nice to wrap up in. She isn’t a blanket hog when she’s with someone else, but she definitely burritos herself when alone, and she’s not a heavy sleeper like waking the dead but she’s not a horribly light sleeper who wakes at everything either. If u call her she’ll wake but not from just walking around. Also a very clingy bed mate xP

) In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? “He’s a fully capable fumbling idiot and it’s adorable.”

) Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? she’s got some trauma -see horses and scars- but generally she’s alright? Nothing affects her everyday life, just situational.

) Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? her mom died in front of her, she’s trying really hard to not fall apart because of it so if she had to deal with one more death she’d break entirely

) Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? she’s not an overly jealous person but she’s extremely jealous of Dalish’s looks

) If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? in general I’m not sure, but specifically Cullen; “…. skip the stuttering and just kiss me? I do have work to do you know.”

1. What techniques or spells do they tend to use a lot?

raising roots to trip people, heating things with her hands and when she figures out how to use a bow and arrow she lights the arrows on fire when they let loose. She constantly regulates her body temperature so that shes comfortable enough to wear a dress, but she can also heat or freeze her body to get people off of her.

10. Are they worried about hurting their allies by accident during combat or is it up to their allies’ responsibility to look after themselves?

If/When she does something beyond her normal skill level, shes terrified, she doesnt know how to work it and she fears hurting people on accident. Shes’s very emotionally run, sadness freezes the air and makes it hard to breath and anger runs hot and you cant get near her or the air stings with heat.

11. What’s a weapon they either won’t use or can’t use?

She cant really use a sword or a maul or anything. shes weak, her arms are strong enough to haul a carcass and pull a bow string, but not enough to draw a sword to proper height.

16. Complaints they might have about their comrades. What annoys them, what endangers them, what don’t they like, etc.

“Sera talks weird and its annoying but shes a good person even if she does hate elves. “Varric should hide less behind stories and ask for help when he needs it rather than busying himself with helping others. The Chargers are loyal only to The Iron Bull and she fears that; she stays on Bull’s good side for it. “Fahleon just needs to speak! He woudnt be so hurt if he just said it!

What would completely break your character?

Being alone. Rejection isn’t the same as being alone, being rejected hurts but it’s not nearly as bad as having no one at all. To have no where to turn and no one to talk to or care about or get advise from. Her biggest fear is to b left alone with nowhere to go and no one to just be with.

What was the best thing in your character’s life?

The affection and attention her mother paid her.

What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

Her mom died in an accident…

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

Her dad winding metal with a fire behind him before he noticed her standing there, and the look on Fahleon’s face when he saw the rip n the sky the ‘first’ time.

Does your character work so that they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?

She works because she’s a slave. Then because she needs a reason for The inquisition to keep her, and then to make money to keep up the House. But she also enjoys her work…

What is your character reluctant to tell people?

About her dad. Mildly less so that she’s a slave because she’s scared she might be sent back.

How does your character feel about sex?

Doesn’t want it ever again. Will possibly kill u.

How many friends does your character have?

Like 4-5 depending on ur definition.

How many friends does your character want?

All of the friends

What would your character make a scene in public about?

If u shit talk ppl she cares about or if ur hurting someone. Get wreckt

What would your character give their life for?

Her friends or something she sees as a just trade

What are your character’s major flaws?

Doesn’t always understand boundaries or when to shut up. She sees lines that shouldn’t b crossed but doesn’t always realize she’s crossed them herself.

What does your character pretend or try to care about?

Other ppls opinions….

How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

She tries to only show that she’s happy and chipper, as that’s what her master/father wanted for his business, but she is very full of emotion -and over the course of the inquisition she loosens that fake mask a bit- and feels things 100% of the way.

What is your character afraid of?

Other than being alone, horses.

What is something most people in your setting do that your character things is dumb?

Racism n general.

Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

35% polite, 65% BITE ME

Bedrooms Imagine the first time any one tries to find Raya’s bed in Skyhold. They’ve been there for a while and it’s had time to accumulate things. And while she does share a room with other women of the same or similar status, her section is just glaringly different.

Everyone has some personal items and dodads about their space but Raya’s is kind of extra. Not extremely extra, but it’s really not necessary to teather sculls to your bed posts with twine, or have scavenged jewels about. It almoat looks like a stark contrast to the happy person she tries to be.

The near by window sheds light on the fact that she has scribbles all over the floor around her area; or to most people they look like scribbles. They’re protection runes. They keep people off of her things and it becomes very evident that she is, in fact, a home taught mage.

#about

0 notes

zeetheus · 7 years ago

Text

So, here’s a recap of the entire situation

From start to finish.

Because, believe me, I had no idea my ban would lead to 2 other completely innocent people getting banned for, essentially, asking staff what happened, and then expressing the desire to talk to them about it.

Not exaggerating.

On May 5th 2017, my Extremely Straight mom was being pushy, asking me about my OCs. For those unaware, the OCs in question are:

A nonwhite nonbinary aromantic bisexual with ASPD

A nonwhite asexual whose romantic orientation is a hashtag Mess, who has depression, anxiety, OCD, and is autistic

The above OCs are in a queerplatonic relationship

(This is important, I promise)

So after escaping to my laptop, I go on Quixol to try and decompress, and start off by expressing my general exhaustion and discomfort. A reasonable person who is part of the staff of a LGBT+ & ND safe server would, hopefully, take that as a disclaimer that I had been through Garbage, and had no energy.

So after having to literally physically escape an uncomfortable discussion with my mom, and after literally telling chat about the situation, I’m directly concern-trolled for calling my queerplatonic OCs, ‘queer’?

Once?

When there’s a perfectly serviceable blacklist on this very server?

(Minor note: I’m aware that Blake’s pronouns are it/its, however, I had typoed ‘pals’ into ‘pal’ & I apologize for that small misunderstanding)

So anyways, that sucked, and dealing with everything that happened that afternoon had destroyed my energy for a week. Clearly staff had made their stance clear, even if I didn’t agree with it.

I decided not to use ‘queer’ on that server, or at the very least not towards anyone who 1) wasn’t queer, and 2) might give me shit for even saying that word, even if I’m not mislabeling anyone. Such as, the staff.

So, I don’t use it.

Flash forward to late November of 2017.

I’m on my twitter, tweeting tweets, which are mostly meant for me, because it’s my gotdamn twitter account. I tweet a lot of junk, RT a lot of fandom garbage, and sometimes, when something triggers me, I try to unpack my abuse.

I’d like to make it clear right now that I never listed my twitter under my Bio (or at the very least, had never intended to. I don’t remember whether or not I put it there, and if I did, my mistake) and have only given my twitter url out once. The only connection my twitter had to Quixol was by following the Quixol twitter.

Over the course of a few weeks I tweeted out some ~*spicy*~ Opinions, which, you’re free to disagree with me about, especially since it’s fucking twitter, which has a character limit, so a lot of my word choice had to be downsized to fit in a fuckin 280 character text box.

On top of that I’m not even a Public LGBTQ+ Wank Persona, so I had no incentive to hash things out step-by-step to my... 10 followers. By all accounts, my tweets are, by their very nature, inconsequential to anyone except my followers.

(My account was not locked at the time, but I understandably later did so)

Anyways, in order:

This one was pretty clearly about Quixol, but I should probably state for the record that I had no idea ‘queer’ in MANY DIFFERENT ITERATIONS had been exhaustively banned from signs, so I had no idea it wasn’t physically possible to properly spell out ‘genderqueer’ without censoring it in some fashion.

Anyways, continuing with my ~*spicy opinions*~

I mentioned before how I was essentially abused by people I trusted for not being acceptably gay. I don’t know how ‘I’m not gay and I don’t need to be, I’m happy with being aro ace’ is a statement so vile that gay people everywhere take immense offense to it, to the point where staff finds it a bannable offense...

By the way, yes, I did get banned for these.

Because days after I was banned, staff approached Vin about my banning, of their own volition.

At the end of the day, Vin had planned to write out an essay, so that they could have a reasonable discussion with staff.

I wasn’t too Thrilled at the prospect of trying to have a discussion with people who intentionally villainized me, took my words out of context, and made the worst possible interpretations out of them, but I supported Vin’s idea.

However, she was in the middle of college finals, and preparing for chanukkah, so she couldn’t get right back around to it for another week.

Note that at this point Vin had not been contacted by staff due to her own behavior, past actions, without even a mention of her tumblr or its content.

THIS IS EXTREMELY CRUCIAL INFORMATION.

IF THEY HAD REASON TO BAN VIN FOR ANYTHING, WHY DID THEY CONTACT VIN ABOUT MY BAN FIRST?

But anyways, let’s cut to 8 days later, because I certainly couldn’t log into Quixol and subsequently do anything.

And in that time, neither could Vin.

I wasn’t surprised at this point. Staff had made it plain and clear to me that if they had a mild enough reason to ban you, they’ll find whatever evidence they need in order to finalize it.

FOUR POSTS, YALL. FOUR POSTS AND SHE GOES FROM ‘ONE OF THE MOST ACTIVE AND BELOVED COMMUNITY MEMBERS’ TO ‘A BONA FIDE THREAT TO PEOPLE ON QUIXOL, WORTH BANNING.’

The four posts in question will be linked later, for now, continuing:

So... it’s not actually about protecting people on the server, it’s about... finding people that agree with your particular flavor of “LGBT+” politics?

R...really?

Where is the actual harm that Vin has done on the server to warrant being banned?

Shit, what about me? What tangible, material harm did my tweets, squirreled away on my own separate twitter, that no one follows me on, do to anyone on the server?

Anyways it doesn’t end here, because in this chain of bullshit, someone else went down trying to ask staff “why for the love of god did you ban Vin?”

Screenshots (Warning, it’s 65 pages long)

All four posts that Vin was banned over are included as well.

But if you’re interested in my personal highlight reel:

ah yes, a non-ace trans woman trying to silence anyone who casts doubt on her decisions to silence queer ace people for having experienced abuse similar to hers, because that’s not some top-tier oppression olympics ‘my pain outweighs yours’ b.s.

remember that time staff literally approached vin of their own volition with screenshots of my tweets at the ready, trying to grill vin about my tweets and whether or not she agreed with them?

where’d that go?

did they suddenly get tired of it after being confronted with other, perfectly average Quixol users, suddenly also questioning their decisions against their will?

funny how vin got to have a discussion about her posts. wonder why they didn’t ever contact me except to ban me

so one of the posts was barely incriminating, but the staff decided to use it against her AS A PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST, and then decided to use it decisively against her after she didn’t give the reaction they wanted from her (again, they mention it as one of the 4 posts she was banned over)

THIS WOULD BE PERFECTLY REASONABLE IF THEY HADN’T BEEN LITERALLY SEARCHING THROUGH HER TUMBLR, DIGGING UP POSTS FROM UP TO TWO YEARS AGO

IT WOULD ALSO BE REASONABLE IF:

I HAD ACTUALLY PUT MY TWITTER URL IN MY BIO, WHICH I’M PRETTY SURE I DID NOT

I HADN’T BEEN BANNED NOT TWO WEEKS AGO FOR EXISTING ADJACENT TO QUIXOL, BARELY IF EVER MENTIONING IT ON TWITTER, NEVER LINKING IT FROM THE SERVER, WHO THE HELL WAS SEARCHING THROUGH MY TWITTER, AND WHY DIDN’T BEAN EVEN MENTION DEFENDING MY RIGHT TO HAVE A SEPARATE TWITTER THAT WAS NOT PUBLICLY LINKED TO QUIXOL!? WHAT!?!

glad to know the rest of the staff also goes full tilt on oppression olympics

still waiting on the part where vin actually said something transmisogynistic or otherwise materially harmful to someone on the server

oh no!! vivian just called a lesbian trans woman transmisogynistic!! clearly if this is the game staff wants to play that means they all needs to either agree to disagree, or realize that peoples’ experiences differ from theirs, and are not something to be weaponized in order to silence people that you disagree with!! what a world!!

tfw staff tokenize themselves before they even make the slightest movement towards ‘people have different experiences besides the ones i have/know about, but we are all here and we should work together and support each other’

are they even really a real LGBT+ server

very clear, very clear distinction here... somewhere? weren’t they just saying that they’re not the same things? so they overlap but are different? uh... and...???

i don’t have a word for ‘white trans women that try to weaponize the transmisogyny that overwhelmingly nonwhite twoc experience in order to silence anyone who questions her ~*authority*~ despite the fact that there is no universal ‘trans woman experience’ that anyone can hold her as an authority AS’...

this is literally the kind of weaponized-suffering authoritarianism people talk about when they deconstruct neoliberalism and ‘oppression olympics’ and the staff all seem to be very involved in it

gee whiz, im no longer wondering why i, a queer aro ace, was banned

bean weaponizing his aceness as the staff’s ‘authority’ on ace matters, instead of, yanno, understanding that vin has had her own experiences, that are different, which leads her to take different stances

especially since bean himself admits he hasn’t faced any problems due to his aceness

lucky him, i guess

“this is the first time we’ve had to really make a ban based on evidence that was off quixol”

fuck you in particular

my tweets weren’t for you or anyone else on Quixol

you and the rest of the staff decided to ban me anyways

and now that you snatched vin in your chain-ban and you have a lot of people who are QUESTIONING YOUR DECISIONS you try and act sympathetic?

if people are reacting like this, and the evidence wasn’t even on the server, why even ban someone?

if you intend to heavily police Quixol users you should maybe fucking say so

that way no one’s suprised

i have intense paranoia issues and the entire fact that YALL WERE STALKING MY TWITTER hasn’t helped in the least

literally here are tweets i made in the same timeframe as my ~*banned tweets*~

like you claim to be protecting users, despite the fact that no one on the server was harmed

and you claim to be inclusive, despite the fact that you silence queer people at every turn

and you claim to be safe for ND people, while causing them anxiety and paranoia

literally what do you even stand for at this point

"we are all trans? we are all gay?”

yeah? and?

you still closet the hell out of queer people?

especially queer people with identities you don’t like?

queer people who literally use the word to describe their OCs in plural since they are neither gay nor trans?

you literally wouldn’t let me use the word ‘queer’ to describe my OCs?

hhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh no!!! queer people exist online

seriously is this an LGBT+ server or some kind of fundie christian camp

also, get a load of all of the 0 times vin and i have called anyone queer without their consent, seeing as the first and only time I used it, i got scolded by staff for it

funny story. as soon as I read this screen i knew why I was actually, really banned

way back up at the top of this post, when i had confronted Blake about the fact that I had just called my OCs ‘queer’

and was told ‘be careful, don’t use that word on people who don’t want it applied to them’

i had already been mislabeled as ‘gay’ numerous times on the server itself, which was triggering for me

after bringing up that particular grievance with staff, using almost the exact same wording as Fritjof, i decided to blacklist ‘gay’ so that i wouldn’t guilt gay people into hiding it from others, while protecting myself

very interesting that the staff doesn’t have the same attitude towards people being able to protect themselves from ‘queer’

it’s almost like the censoring of queer is not for the sake of protecting users... but instead...

Just so we make this clear, ‘queer’ which staff defines as being ‘gay and trans’ (but not queer itself for some reason?) is equivalent to:

triggering thing that must be blacklisted (that’s why the blacklist exists)

nsfw chats in global

literally how do yall say ‘queer means gay and trans’ and equate its use with ‘nsfw’

again... is this an LGBT+ server... or a conservative christian summer camp...

it feels almost... indistinguishable...

yes, that is the admin of an ND & LGBT+ server using the same ‘real world’ rhetoric that anti sj bigots and conservatives make

interestingly enough, it’s also common among bigots in the LGBT community, such as truscum, aphobes, and queerphobes, towards anyone with a ‘special snowflake’ identity that they don’t particularly like or are interested in including

but an ace man can never be acephobic right? he’s an authority on ace issues after all, and so all aces must have his same experiences

pedophilia?? gee whiz i wonder what that post Vin reblogged about ‘people accusing others of pedophilia that weren’t actually pedophilia’ was about. surely it wasn’t about staff, right?

so, recap of bannable offenses here on Quixol Dot Corn:

Have a public twitter, where you tweet opinions that staff disagrees with

Be friends with the above person who was banned, and when you don’t say anything banworthy when they confront you, have a tumblr account with enough questionable posts for them to construct a banworthy offense

Once both of the above have been banned, ask staff about their decisions, and then try to reasonably discuss their ongoing queerphobia

So anyways, if you’re wondering where Zeetheus, Vin_Venture, and Fritjof42 went... that’s pretty much what happened!

Staff has zero intent on protecting their userbase, just policing the hell out of their opinions, to the point where off-Quixol content is considered a bannable offense, and if staff hasn’t made that clear to anyone, I hope this post does.

Queer people are not safe on Quixol

Unacceptably ace people are not safe on Quixol

The vast majority of people under the LGBT+ umbrella that don’t fit under ‘gay and trans’ are not safe on Quixol

People with anxiety, who have experienced stalking paranoia are not safe on Quixol

#quixol #quixolmc

0 notes