#yall are free to take this and run my brain figuratively died at the end there just no more thoughts

[24-guy]

Here's an idea for the michie enjoyers.

Last resorts.

Like.

Prom time is coming around and Max needs a date because duh doy he's the quarterback of course he does. But he either procrastinates or only asks grace - to which she declined thanks to bla bla bla plot - and ends up with noone.

Everyone else on the cheer team has already paired up with their respective partners. He's solo.

But turning up alone is worse than every other option. So he works his way down the chain of order.

Somehow everyone else has a date.

He ends up on the nerds.

He already knows Steph is going with Spankoffski - she was his first choice for friends to go with.

Pj and Reese are going together.

Even Ruth is going with someone.

Which leaves Richie.

It's not like he has anything personal against Richie. He's just sort of. Weird.

[irishmacguirefucker]

Truths

Or alternatively, Karen jones weasels the ranch plan out of Sean and then has a brief crisis about it

(3150 words! holy shit its long but i hope its a good read bc i worked hard on it and im pretty proud of it. You should probably read Seans hcs first buts its not necessary)

Karen Jones is not a particularly optimistic person. She wouldn't say pessimistic persay, maybe more of a realist.

There were a lot of things she felt were ultimate truths. Women would never be treated equally to men or allowed to vote, she would always despise the hot weather, she would never be good at embroidery, and she would die as she lived. Nothing but another forgotten criminal. Another gang member shot down and swept underneath the rug that was the new century.

She was sure that was what happened to Sean. Dutch says he was captured but in Karens book he may as well have died on that boat job.

But one day, somehow, those truths she clung to seemed to be wavering.

When Tilly and Mary-Beth spoke of the women in Rhodes and San Denis, or even places further like New York, fighting for their right to vote and be equal she tried to brush it off.

But it stuck out in her brain. Was the world changing? Could things be different? Sadie Adler was running around in pants like it already had for her. Maybe she was a pessimist, not a realist.

Things were changing, she could feel it. And not just in the world of politics and women's rights. (not that she thought herself much of a scholar in that area)

There were whispers around camp, Hosea left for a long time and when he came back he had a look in his eye that she just couldn't decipher. But then suddenly that look seemed to be catching on all around her. First in Arthur, though whatever was happening seemed to have put Dutch in a very grim mood.

Next it was John and Abigail Marston. Suddenly they were fighting less, and speaking in low whispers like schemers plotting some plan that Karen was still desperately trying to figure out.

The final straw was Ms. Grimshaw. She had that look in her eyes just like the rest and suddenly she was ordering the girls to start looking for legal money, legitimate jobs for the gang to get done. Suddenly, she wasn't the only suspicious one anymore.

Things stayed that way for a while, looking for legal money with sob stories and not so innocent flirting to find jobs. And it was weird, and suspicious but no matter how much she grilled Grimshaw for it, that woman was locked tighter than the bank safes they used to rob. (Used to. How incredibly odd to think that they aren't anymore)

And then suddenly, Sean Macguire was back. He was alive and safe and only a little worse for wear. Karen Jones' solid truths were all being broken and the return of the man she -was pretty sure she- loved was the last crack she could handle.

She wanted so many things at once in that moment. She wanted rum, she wanted to run to his arms and never let go, she wanted to mount old belle and escape, she wanted to curl up in one of the wagons and cry

But she did none of those things. Instead she took his greeting to her as she always had, sarcastic yet flirty, the way they had always been. Because that little game of thiers, the dancing around each other but knowing deep down (at least she thinks he knows) that she is his and he is hers.

If she changed that game, broke another solid truth that she was desperately trying to hold onto, she would be broken open and the world would suddenly become unpredictable and scary.

So she drank her beer, sat in his lap, kissed Sean, slapped him, kissed him once more and then took him to bed. And while that whole mess wasn’t the greatest experience on her end, she practically had to run from that tent because Sean had about a thousand new scars and bruises and she wasn't about the cry over it in his face. Naked. After bad sex.

After the night of Seans reunion with the gang, he seemed to hang around her a little more. Not much more than before, but now it was rare if he wasn't hanging off her skirts around camp. And she couldn't complain because she did miss him terribly, no matter what she said to his face.

In some ways she found it hard to face Hosea anymore. Right before he left on his apparently life changing trip, she had gotten particularly wasted and cried on the old man's shoulder, clinging to one of Sean’s vests.

She actually admitted, out loud that she thinks she might love Sean, but she was so sure he was dead she didn't know what to do with that thought anymore. That ‘almost’ that was floating in her head as she grieved.

When Sean came back, suddenly the memory of her drunken confession did too, and Hosea always seemed to have this weird soft smile when her and Sean spent time together. So she kinda had to avoid Hosea for a while

At some point she saw Hosea and Sean having what looked to be a deep conversation and she prayed to the god she was entirely unsure even existed that Hosea wouldn't share her secret.

Of course he didn't, and she felt a little guilty that she even thought that about the man who was in so many ways a father figure to her. But he told Sean something because suddenly, even Sean had that look in his eye.

The plotting, scheming, planning look that was catching around the camp like a disease and suddenly, she would pay any amount of money to know just what they were plotting. She knows that it's big, bigger than anything they have even done.

Sean was never able to keep a secret from her for very long. She knew that if she got on his case about it he would likely spill, so thats exactly what she did. But then suddenly Sean was no longer hanging off her skirts, and seemed to be avoiding her as much as he could.

His absence from her side was obvious. There was nobody pestering her (other than grimshaw), nobody sitting with her while she drank her morning coffee, nobody sneaking up behind her to spin her around just to see her get all flushed and mad, nobody to give her a cheeky kiss as he promised not to do it again with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Karen Jones is far from stupid, she knows that she must have been getting close to something if Sean was leaving her alone on his own free will.

So finally she caught him on guard duty. It was near the end of his shift and she made her way into the trees that hid their camp from the world.

She knew what she wanted to say, but once they locked eyes he immediately looked so nervous that she almost laughed at the shifting feet and darting eyes of the man in front of her.

She nearly forgot she had brought him a mug of coffee, and handed it to him wordlessly. He thanked her quietly and then everything was silent. Far too silent to be normal for Sean “I never stop talking even when I’m in mortal danger” Macguire.

“You’re awfully quiet Sean, ain't like you.”

A pause. More darting eyes. “Ah yes well I'm on duty, can't let those bastards out the woods hear me talking up a storm.”

Another pause. A chuckle under Karen's breath.

“Ain’t never stopped you before.”

Briefly he smiled, and looked into the blonde’s eyes. “That it hasn’t Karen my love, but I'm not looking to get another cuff up the back of me head from Hosea for forgetting to keep me fuckin’ mouth shut.”

For a moment he looked like he might start acting normally again before he remembered just why he was avoiding her. Suddenly he was staring at his boots once more. Some guard he is.

“Right. You and Hosea been talking a lot lately. In fact, a lot of people seem to be talkin’ with Hosea ‘cept me it seems.” That was her own fault for avoiding him, but she wouldn't say that.

Sean looked uncomfortable with this conversation, looking past Karen to see if anyone was on their way to take his shift. She hoped that meant she was close to cracking him.

“Ah yes well, you know how it is with the old man. Always wanting to have long discussions about the glory days, or give ya advice ya didn't ask for.”

“I suppose. But you know what I think Sean?”

Sean has never looked this nervous before she thinks.

“What's that love?” Bold of him to ask anyways, she will give him that.

“I think yall are plotting something, and you're keeping secrets Mr. Macguire.”

She watched as the irish man stiffened, took a look around, threw back his coffee and sighed. They both knew he wouldn't be able to keep anything from her for long, perhaps he was finally accepting that.

“I just might be Ms. Jones, but I hardly think it's much of your business to be pryin’ it out of me is it?”

Sean hardly sounded like himself to her ears. Sure, he could be nasty out on a job but never to her. She considered this man to be her best friend, the man she was almost sure she was in love with, and he was slapping her away like she was nothing but a fly bothering him. She can count on one hand the amount of secrets she had ever kept from him.

He always had a way of pulling them out of her, because he always wanted her to be happy around him. He wanted to know her problems not to fix them, but to distract her from them.

She had always thought it was a sort of mutual agreement. They were close. Not just friends but not quite together. Close enough that they had a bond neither could deny. So the idea that hes been avoiding her for some reason and would get so nastily defensive when she asked? It hurt.

But she wouldn't let him know that. That's not how the game works. But suddenly all these changes around her gave her the courage to say screw the game.

“Screw you Sean Macguire. How fucking dare you.”

“Karen-”

“No, you wanna keep your mouth shut about this then you can keep your big mouth shut while i yell at you. How dare you talk to me like that. How dare you keep secrets when never in my life have i ever been able to keep a secret from you. No wait, I kept one secret from you didn’t I? I never told you that I thought you were god damn dead.”

That and the fact that she was in love with him. When did she suddenly become sure of that fact? Not that it matters. She was already saying more than she meant to.

“I thought you were dead in the ground and it damn near broke me. You are my best friend, and you have the god damn fucking balls to tell me its none of my buisness why you wont even look my way for 3 weeks. Go to hell Macguire, you don't wanna speak to me then fine. Don’t. I don't want you around no more either you bastard.”

It took one look at the young man's face to make her eyes start watering, and then she was marching back to camp. Like hell she would let him see her cry after that mess.

She almost wanted him to run after her. To apologise and tell her why he can barely look at her, and hold her as she cried. But he was on guard duty so that wasn’t an option, and that wasn't how their relationship worked.

She didn't see him again for a while. She took the work Grimshaw gave her down to the lake, and watched Jack wade in the water trying to catch a crab or a fish while she sewed up a shirt. When she got up to get more clothes she saw Sean conspiring with Hosea once more and refused to even give him another glance. She watched Pearson fish off the dock for a while, whilst she stitched a blanket, she watched the sun get lower in the sky till it lit up like the campfire.

And then out of the corner of her eye she saw a lanky leg step over the log she was on, and then he was sitting beside her.

She didn't look up. He didn't speak. He nudged a bottle of beer her way, and she took it without a word.

The sun had just barely sunk below the horizon when he cleared his throat and took a breath to speak up. She cut him off before he could start.

“Don’t start Sean, I don't want your damn apologies.”

“Well then it's a bloody good thing I wasn't about to apologise love.”

She wished he wouldn’t call her that. It's not like she exactly had time to process the whole being in love revelation she had earlier.

“What the hell do you want then.”

“I want to tell you a secret.”

She scoffed and started to stand up, but he grabbed her waist before she could, and she looked him in the face for the first time since that morning when they fought. “Let me go Sean Macguire, I don't wanna hear it.”

“Oh hush, yes ya do. I couldn't bloody well tell you this mornin’, it weren't my secret to tell you. But I had a little talk with Hosea, and he gave me then blessin’ to share with you.”

He couldn't tell her  because it wasn't his to share. So here she was getting angry at him for something that wasn't even his fault. Not that there was no reason at all.

“Dammit Sean, the hell does that have to do with you avoidin’ me like the god damned plague. You could have said you can't tell me and I woulda’ left you the hell alone about it.”

“Now that is a dirty lie Ms. Jones, I have not successfully kept anythin’ from you in my whole life. You knew what I was going to give you for your birthday the day I stole the damned thing. I wasn't able to risk something this important falling out of my big mouth because you distracted me with your beauty.”

He was trying to abate her anger, and the fact that it was nearly working only served to anger her more. How dare he sit there and nearly make her laugh when he was apparently keeping some giant secret from her.

“Fine Sean. What's the big secret that's been makin’ you run away from me like a dog afraid of his own shadow.”

“Well my love, you had better get comfortable, this is quite the tale and I happen to be quite the storyteller.” And before she could tell him to get the hell on with it, he started doing what he does best. Talking.

It took him nearly a fucking hour to get to the point. He told her everything he knew about the ranch plan, every word Hosea had said to him about it, all the way up to him begging Hosea to let him tell Karen about it. By the time he finished, both their beers were gone and everything Karen had known her whole life was slipping through her fingers like the sand beneath their feet.

“-an’ Hosea says that nobody has to go with him, we can all go our separate ways and such but that's what his plan is. Him and the bloody Marstons and Arthur and everyone else they can get are going with him. And Dutch was planning on telling everyone as soon as we had the money to do it and I only know because I’m fuckin’ excellent at eavesdropping. But Arthur caught me sneaking off and told me to keep me trap shut about it so I did.”

She stared at him in stunned silence. Half the gang was plotting a move to New Austin to start a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Finally she managed to get her thoughts together just long enough to spit out the words “The one fucking time you can follow a god damned direction.”

And that was enough to make him laugh. And he sat there and laughed like they weren't getting their worlds turned upside down.

All the things Karen considered to be complete unbreakable truths were shattering. She was looking at this offer of a real life that wouldn't end in her premature death and it terrified her, but at the same time nothing had ever looked so good.

“I'm still mad that you avoided me like that.”

“Don’t think you've ever screamed at me quite like you did this morning Ms. Jones.”

“I did not scream at you, you were on guard duty.”

“You bloody did. The bird flocked out of the trees. Some broad on the street heard you and said ‘I wonder what stupid bloke pissed of that woman’”

“Are you going? To the ranch with Hosea?” She didn’t notice that over time she had practically ended up in his lap until just now.

“Well Ms. Jones, that all depends on where you're planning on going.”

Sean Macguire had confessed his love to her many times, drunk and sober. But she never thought any of them sincere until now. Here was Sean Macguire, willing to follow her wherever she may go. And it terrified her just as much as the idea of the ranch did. But just like the ranch, nothing had ever looked quite so safe, so sweet, so good.

She knew she wasn't ready to tell Sean she loved him yet. It was nice to know he loved her, and that she was hardly going to get rejected should she tell him. But she wasn't ready yet.

So instead she said “I think that I'm gonna go with Hosea and Arthur and them. To be ranchers or whatever the hell they wanna do.”

“Then I guess we’re gonna be ranchers! Though I was never good with bloody livestock.” and that made Karen laugh good and proper.

Karen Jones feels that a few things will always be ultimate truths. She would always despise the hot weather, she would never be good at embroidery no matter how hard she tried, that Sean Macguire loved her to the ends of the earth and back, and that she loved him too.

Being ranchers meant she would likely never have to lose him again, and so ranchers they would be.

[writing-radionoises]

attachment

ship: odazai, kunikidazai

genre: angst with a bittersweet ending

prompt: dazai slowly learns to deal with feelings

notes:  i actually got really pissed that people kept saying fake deep shit about soukoku and throwing just about everything odasaku did for dazai away so then i decided to. write this odasaku did not die just for yall to say chuuya is the reason dazai decided not to kill himself. also thank you to mushroom mother by pinocchiop for the inspiration

It was easy to categorize at first, Oda and Dazai's relationship.

Dazai had never had any attachments, and Odasaku wasn't going to change that.

He had never had any friends, lovers, parental figures, ect.

There was no point in having them, anyway, because in the end, they would die.

They always did.

Dazai would live and die as a Port Mafia executive, and the only ones to remember his name would be government officials.

And he was fine with that. He couldn't change it anyway.

At least, he was pretty sure he couldn't…

--

"Don't tell me you actually like that guy," Ango said while they sat at the bar, sipping at a rum and coke.

"Well, I don't know," Dazai answered, scratching at the bandage over his eye, "He makes me happy, though I suppose a friend could do that too… I don't think it matters anyway, it's not like we can really have any sort of relationship."

"You're a strange one, Dazai."

"I'm fully aware," answered Dazai as he passed his drink but the bartender, "Did you put cyanide in this like I asked?"

The bartender nods his head, "You ask every single time, no, I will not put cyanide in your drink."

Dazai sighed, taking the glass into his hand, "I guess that's fine… Ango, tell me something."

Ango looks back at Dazai, fixing his glasses, "Yes?"

"Would you care if I died?"

The bar falls silent as the brunette awaits Ango's response, watching him swirl the drink around in his hands.

"To be honest, I don't think so. You are a good friend, less of a friend and even more of a good silence filler. But, I don't think I value our relationship enough to really miss you."

Dazai's lips curve up into a slight smile.

"I thought you'd say that."

--

"Hey, Odasaku!"

The reddish-brown haired man turned around from his place in the parking lot, looking back at Dazai as he waved him down with his free hand. Dazai rushed up to him, struggling to keep his jacket on with one broken arm, but he managed.

His apprentice was rather rough with him during this last training session, not that Dazai minded.

He just wished Akutagawa would kill him already.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile," Odasaku commented, "You need something?"

"No, I was just in the area and wanted to see you," Dazai responded, "I'm not interrupting you, am I?"

Odasaku nodded a no, "Not at all. I just got done visiting the orphans. Maybe we can go out? Talk a little bit?"

"... Like a date?" Replies the brunette hesitantly.

"In a way, yes."

Dazai smiled a bit, "I'd like that."

--

They ended up at a park, sitting by the water underneath a cherry tree, talking this and that.

Dazai just watched Oda intently, listening to him talk as the sun started to go down.

"... I think, if I were to get out of the mafia, I'd like to settle down. You know, like how couples do when they hit thirty or so. Get married, adopt some kids… Domestic things like that," Oda replied, "I'm not boring you, am I?"

Dazai nodded a no, "Not at all. I like hearing your thoughts, it's interesting."

Oda chuckles, "I am afraid you're the only one who thinks that."

"Well, other people aren't very smart, hm?"

"Maybe so."

The two fell silent, listening to the river rush by as Dazai turned his head away from Oda, and instead up towards the falling flowers of the cherry tree.

"Odasaku."

"Yes?"

"Would you care if I died?" Dazai asked.

"Of course," Odasaku answered without a second thought, "I'd care very much, you're very dear to me, Dazai."

"Are you… certain?" Dazai asked, a puzzled look on his face, "You aren't supposed to form attachments in the mafia…"

The last part was more of a reminder to himself than Odasaku.

"You can't let the mafia dictate your entire life, Dazai," the brunette replied, looking back at Dazai, "I know you were raised here with those beliefs, but there is much more out there, much more to experience. Don't be the mafia's pawn, be a person."

Be a person…

"Hm…" Dazai replied, looking down at his knees.

He'd think about it.

--

Oda is smiling as his head lays in Dazai's lap.

If it weren't for their current environment, Dazai could've forgotten he was even dead.

He runs his fingers through the other's red-brown hair.

It's so soft. So pretty.

He shouldn't have died so soon…

Dazai doesn't even realize the cold tears running down his cheek, the shivering of his body or the shaking of his hands.

"Odasaku…" Dazai manages to choke out, shortly after muttering thousands upon thousands of apologies.

This is why you don't get attached to people, is what Dazai's brain says, but it doesn't even matter.

Dazai is too busy mourning his fallen friend, his unrequited would-be lover.

There was so much more he wanted to do with him, so much he wanted to tell him.

Dazai wanted to leave the mafia with him, get married and adopt orphans and live happily ever after, like Odasaku had talked about so much.

Even if it would've made this moment more painful, he would've like to tell Odasaku he loved him…

… Become a good man.

That's what he said, isn't it? Dazai thought.

He began to dry his tears on his jacket.

Oda wasn't here to protect or take in orphans anymore… People like his pupil, Akutagawa, could easily just die on the street without people like Oda…

Oda isn't alive to leave the mafia, either, or settle down like he wanted…

I'll… do it for him. Dazai thought.

I'll do what he never got to do. Just for him.

--

"You look to be mourning," said an older man, his name is Fukuzawa, Dazai reminded himself.

"I am," Dazai answered from his place in front of a grave. Fukuzawa takes a seat beside him.

"Oda Sakunosuke?" He asked, and Dazai nodded, "A friend or a lover?"

"... It's complicated," Dazai replied.

"Would you feel better to explain?"

Dazai fell silent for a moment, then continuing, "I had never met someone I genuinely felt connected to until the moment I met Odasaku. It felt like having mushrooms grow all over me, being infected with feelings I couldn't process… I tried getting rid of them, time and time again, but they always came back… I didn't hate my feelings for Odasaku, I just knew it was a danger for both of us… When he died, I went back to having one singular emotion of sadness, like all the mushrooms just fell off. And then seeing other everyday people experience feelings and not having to worry about them made me… feel silly looking and pathetic. I never got to sort out my feelings for him or even tell him but everyone else… Nevermind, that's not a very kind thing to say… sorry…"

"That's okay," Fukuzawa says, "You haven't been showing up to the agency recently. Is this why?"

"Kind of. I just miss him dearly, even though it's been two years…"

"It's okay to miss someone, no matter how long ago they just your life, whether or be through death, a fight, or anything in between. You can still miss Sakunosuke twenty years from now, and it'll be perfectly valid, Dazai," Fukuzawa explained calmly, placing a hand on Dazai's back.

Dazai snickered, "You sound like the dad I never had."

"Perhaps I should be."

--

"... Kunikida is an amazing fiance, and I'm sure he'll be a great husband, too," Dazai said from his spot beside the grave, under a cherry tree.

"And Atsushi… he's like a son to me, you would have loved him. And Kyouka, too, she's so cute. You would've loved the whole agency…"

Dazai sighs, looking over to Odasaku's grave, with fresh roses placed by it.

"... I'm trying really hard to be a good person, Odasaku. It's hard… I'm trying to make things up with Akutagawa, but I just keep… fucking up…" Continued the brunette, "I've hurt him so much, and I just keep falling back into hurting him… but I'm trying. It's the thought that counts, right?"

Odasaku doesn't respond, not that Dazai expects him to. He knows his friend is long dead, but talking to him like this eases the pain.

"I haven't been thinking about killing myself as much, or at least, not in a serious way. I wouldn't say I'm happy to be alive but… At least I'm not upset that I'm alive…"

Dazai falls silent, standing up and moving in front of the grave, "I like to think you're proud of me, Odasaku. I hope that's true… Odasaku, I'll talk to you tomorrow..."

Dazai turns his back, beginning to walk away from the grave as he hums one last thing under his breath to Odasaku.

"I'm still in love with you, you know?"

[sexysilverstrider]

Thundering Heartbeat (Raymond/Resident Rep)

Told yall I’ll write this scene because I’m a romantic sap.

 She often saw herself as a stubborn fool.  The rainstorm wasn’t about to calm down anytime soon. She could—could—just make a mad dash for it back to the resident area. But Hana knew the distance between that western side of the island and eastern side—the side where she woefully stood on—was quite far even if she ran. And that didn’t add up the fact that her mansion was at the top of the hill. She would be a soaking mess by the time she reached her door.  Damn her and her architectural planning.  “Ugh…” A groan, slipped between clenched teeth was swallowed by the manic drum of the rain. Luckily she managed to find shelter under a roof of a small stall. While there wasn’t much room to begin with, Hana was at least glad her top half was dry.  She didn’t mind the rain. In fact, she loved it.  But ever since she got a terrible cold the last time she walked around under a heavy rainstorm without an umbrella���and being lectured by Judy for hours afterwards—Hana learned her lesson to never, ever, repeat that foolish mistake again.  Still… Lips pressed tightly at the consideration of making another dumb move—  “Hana?”

 Fortunately, before her legs could take control of her brain, she instead jumped at the voice. Quickly she snapped forward, blinked once, twice, then thrice at the cat in front of her.  Raymond stood before her, a single eyebrow raised in curiosity. “What’re doing here?” The silly question was out before he could stop himself. One look and he wanted to slap his head for not realizing there wasn’t any umbrella near her.  Still, he was glad she didn’t point out the obvious.  “I uh…” Arms crossed across her chest. “I…got stuck here.” Decided that it was stupid to deny the reality that was her idiocy, Hana let out a sigh. “I thought the weather would give some calm rain when I got out today, which is why I don’t have an umbrella or raincoat with me right now.” A guilty smile curled her lips. “By the time I reach here, it started raining cats and dogs.” Biting the insides of her lower lip at the metaphor being used, Hana once again breathed out a sigh.  A verbal response wasn’t immediate. But his ears perked as he listened to her ‘woes’. “Ah,” was all he managed, somewhat feeling amused at the situation. The umbrella in his grasp was brought closer. Even though she was sheltered under a roof, Raymond couldn’t help but to bring him—his umbrella—closer.  His umbrella. Not him. His umbrella.  Swallowing the blush that threatened to rise, he replied, “Well, it is pouring heavily right now.” Even he could feel the weight of the weather under his umbrella. “Didn’t you hear Isabelle’s announcement today?” Pushing the lens of his glasses comfortably, a laugh was then gulped down to see her adorable grumble.  “Every time I listen to her announcements, it’s always how there’s no new announcements…” She looked away, warmth kissing her cheeks.  Oh, she’s too adorable indeed.  The laugh he sadly tried to hold back escaped in the end. “Well, that’s because those are morning announcements. I’m talking about the afternoon ones.” One paw holding his umbrella, Raymond placed his other paw on his hip. “You do know she makes weather announcements too right? Sometimes? On the speakers where everyone can hear?”  Raymond swore he heard a growl from her.  His tail swished left and right at every action she did.  “Not everyone has super sharp hearing, Ray…” Crossed arms tight across her chest, she attempted a glare at the smartass cat. The blonde tuft of his hair was a slight mess, probably due to the humidity of the weather. His ears were perked, his right ear twitched ever so slightly, maybe being alert at the sounds of raindrops around them.  She wondered what it was like to scratch the back of his ears—  Stop!  Immediately shaking her head back to reality, Hana forced a sheepish cough. “A-Anyways,” Once again she looked away, “long story short, I made a mistake. I should make a mental note to listen to more of Isabelle’s announcements.”  “And you should bring an umbrella.”  “And I should—” She stopped herself, once again glared at the snickering cat.  The weather was gloomy, but the moment between them was anything but. His laughter was genuine, bright like his brilliant eyes. It’s a shame they were hidden behind thick glasses, but Hana was oftentimes glad he wore them for it brought out the shine of his irises.  Her smile appeared so easily around him.  “In any case,” Another sigh, though this time more relaxed, “looks like I’m stuck her for a while. I’d love to rush back home but knowing me, I’ll get sick again and I don’t feel like earning another lecture by Judy.” She loved the bear cub, and she knew Judy loved her too, but Hana could only take so much when she decided to be a ruthless mother hen.  “Well, if you want, there’s still room under mine.”  Wait.  Surprise mirrored them perfectly as none didn’t expect those words to come out of him.  Brown eyes stared at the beautiful gleam of green and gold. Apparently shock was evident in him too, and this, in truth, sent a sort of relief in her. “I—” Dumbfounded, she merely blinked in hopes that the conversation didn’t die there.  Thankfully to her, it didn’t.  Unthankfully to him, it didn’t.  “I ah—” Why would he say that? Why would he say things? Mouth snapped shut and ears pressed lightly, Raymond brought one paw up and coughed. “I mean…if you want to go back home, there’s still room under my umbrella and I can escort you…back.” The word died down slowly, quietly. While he was a gentleman—he truly couldn’t bear to leave her alone in the rain—realization hit at the meaning of his invitation.  This wasn’t his first time he made a blunder in words. Raymond was just forever glad that the residents and Hana, most of all, mostly found him amusing instead of being offended by his mistakes.  She wasn’t responding. Perhaps today was the day she would actually be offended.  Eyes torn away from her judgmental gaze, Raymond tried to lick his wounds. “I-I mean, I’m sor—!”  “You mean it?”  The apology died under the weather.  Shock still vivid in a pair of slit pupils, Raymond gaped at her. “I—of course!” Attempting to rid away the awkward moment, he raised his free paw. “Like I said, there’s still room.” It wasn’t that big per say, but considering her petite figure, the cat figured they both could fit snuggly under the umbrella.  Snuggly.  Oh.  He wondered if the cloudy weather could shield his blush.  She didn’t say much, but consideration was evident on her face. His tail was back to swishing left and right, and Raymond had to force his tail to curl around his right leg. His grip on the umbrella handle tightened. His posture was straight, patient, hiding away the emotions that were the exact opposite.  She seemed so cute, so adorable as she pondered on his invitation. It was a harmless suggestion. Nothing more, he convinced. Sharp eyes realized her foot started moving forward, started moving towards him. His heart started to pick up its pace. His mouth pressed lightly.  “Okay.”  Her answer was short. Simple. Accompanied with a smile that took his breath away.  And that was it. That should be it. The harmless invitation was received. She would walk towards him and they would share an umbrella. She would hold the handle while his paw was positioned under her hand. Their shoulders might bump but he would keep his distance as he escorted her back as promised. That was it.  But alas, expectations were merely expectations when Raymond had to open his big mouth. “It is raining heavily right now.” Stop. “There might be thunder.” Stop! “If you get scared, don’t be afraid to leap into my arms!” His mouth still ran. His tail still wagged. “I won’t be able to protect you in any way, but it might look cool.”  Dumb. Ass.  Once he finally managed to shut his mouth, Raymond could feel his tail poof out of agitation.  Idiot! Dumbass! What the hell are you thinking?! Screams of the damned plagued his mind. Torn between running away and never talking to her again or just digging himself a hole to hide into, Raymond instead froze in place as panic vibrated his soul.  She was as shocked as he feared. Brown eyes were wide as saucers. Pink lips parted to a gape. Though arms still crossed, he saw the muscles tensed, and he knew damn well it wasn’t because of the cold.  He should leave.  He should make a run for it and never talk to her again. Maybe he should apologize first, then leave so that he could spare her of his disgraceful—  “I’ll take you on that offer.”  “Eh?”  Time seemed to move slowly as Raymond felt his body being embraced.  Pupils were round as they could be. Jaw dropped down until fangs shined at the little drops of rain. The umbrella he held was almost released, almost dropped if not for his paw tensing hardly around the handle.  Tick…tock…  Eh?  Tick.  EH???!?!??!?!?  Raymond honestly almost screamed if not for the fact that he was utterly stunned. His whole body stiffened. His tail frazzled uncontrollably. Echoes of what he assumed later was his rapid heartbeat deafened flat ears. Luckily, there were no thunderstorms to alarm them from the shock. Unluckily, the lack of loud thunder made him hyperaware of the heat that began flowing from the petite human.  “Um…” He should say something. “I…H-Ha…” He should say anything! “Ha…na…?” Eyes glazed to the side, spotting an image of crimson and a splash of pink as he felt his left shoulder being nuzzled by…her…face…  That hole might seem intriguing now.  While Raymond fought with bewilderment, Hana herself had all her willpower not to pull away and run away, screaming, in complete shame.  What was she thinking?! What the hell has gotten into her? Sure he offered. She took the offer. Sure maybe the whole ‘leap into my arms’ was a jest. She was used to that from him. Sure she might take it as a chance to act out on her crush. She was just acting out of sheer, idiotic, heart-driven impulse.  He was the nicest cat she has ever met. And she didn’t want to ruin this friendship they had.  And yet…  Arms snugged around his waist, she bit the bullet. “You feel cool yet?”  Smooth. Absolutely stupid. Sherb would be proud.  Both stunned in the flaws of their own actions, Raymond cast a peek at her. “I—” Gulping once, twice, he quickly positioned the umbrella above them. “A bit.” He was feeling the exact opposite.  He held a breath to hear her delightful laugh.  Finally—unfortunately—she let go. “Sorry…” The apology a meek murmur as she looked down.  Please don’t apologize. He couldn’t stop looking at her. Please look at me.  Her shoulder raised slightly. Hana then lifted her head. Brown eyes met gold and green. Both pairs of pupils were an eclipse in a sea of irises. “I just…teasing.” It backfired on her part. She wanted to apologize more. To say more. To say anything to dispel the awkward air around them.  Surprise flickered to feel her hand being grasped.  She loved seeing his smile.  “I guess I deserve it.” Breathing out chuckles to shield his embarrassment, he gently cupped her hand around the umbrella handle. “We’re even, then!” Another laugh, more sincere than the last. Cheeks tinted by kisses of red, Raymond slowly released his grip and held his part right above her hand.  He missed her warmth.  “Well,” Carefully he stood beside her, “shall we go, milady?”  One hand cupped her mouth as laughter bubbled adorably.  He loved her so much.  “Lead the way, Sir Ray!” Distance merely a brush apart, they walked side by side. END

[writingkeepsmewhole]

I’m Staying

This is part 9 of Bartender. It’s the finely part yall and I can’t wait for you to read it. I hope you are happy with the ending. Please let me know what ya thank :) Reader wakes up in the bunker. Now knowing the truth she has a big has a choice to make.

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None?

Taglist: @sleeplessmidnight @thequeenofhelllll @thewinchesterchronicles @just-me00000 @hopethemikaelsonheir @darkswanordie

Part 1  Part 8

I woke up being placed on a bed. I whimper when a pain shoots up my arm.

“Sorry.” Dean says I open my eyes seeing him sitting on the bed beside me.

“Where am I?” I ask looking around the room.

I must have been in some kind of basement there was no windows. The furniture in the room looked older. There was guns along with other strange things on the walls.

“My room.” Dean says pulling at his sleeve it making me look down at it.

“Your bleeding.” I say looking at he dark stain.

“I’m fine. A simple cut I’ll patch it up in a bit. How are you?”

“What happened?” I ask memories of what my mother did to me.

“My mother, what, why did she do that to me? I thought she was dead.”

“That wasn’t your mother. Her body was possessed by a demon.”

“She told me she was that she made a deal.”

“Well then she turned into a demon.”

“Demons are real now?”

“Everything is real.” Says a voice making me jump.

I turn to look at the door seeing a dark haired man standing there dressed in a trench coat. His blue eyes seemed to bore into me, like he was reading my soul.

“Y/n this is Cas. A friend of mine that forgets that humans need space.” Dean says glaring at him.

“Humans? Your not human?” I ask looking at him sitting up my stomach throbbing.

“I’m an angel.” He says flatly.

“This is to much.” I say trying to get out of bed.

I scream when it feels like I’m being cut all over again. A white hot pain shooting threw my body.

“Y/n!” Dean says gently grabbing me.

“You okay?”

“It hurts.” I moan out holding my chest my heart pounding.

“She’s going into shock.” I faintly hear as lights invade my vision.

When I wake up I’m in the same place telling me that everything that has happened wasn’t a dream. Dean was a hunter, my mom was a demon that he killed. On top of that they had an angel friend.

The room was empty but I was in new clothes and fine. Completely fine. I sit up it not hurting at all. Lifting my shirt there was only a faint scar as if what happened, happened a decade ago.

Climbing out of bed I check the rest of my body it all the same.

Did magic exist too?

I walk to the open door finding it attached to a large hallway. I started walking coming to what looked like a library except for the giant war map in the second room.

There was steps leading to a door I thought about taking until I heard clattering plates.  

I walked down another hallway hearing voices.

“She’s gonna be fine. Cas healed her.” says what I think to be Sam.

“That’s not what I meant. She didn’t get to ease into this she got kidnapped and almost used in a spell to summon God knows what.” Dean says the sound of someone banging a table making me jump.

“Hello.” Says a voice behind me.

I spin around to see the trench coat guy.

“Forgive me I did not mean to scare you.”

“How did you do to me?” I ask wrapping my arms around myself.

“I healed you. I told you I am an angel.” He says cocking his head to the side like a confused dog.

“What does that mean?”

“I think you should let Dean explain. He is worried about you.”

I nod following him down the hall into what is a large kitchen. Everything stainless steel.

“Your awake.” Dean says moving towards me.

I take a step back making him stop.

“Your scared of me.” He says clenching his jaw.

“No.” I say shaking my head.

“I just… It’s a little much to take in.”

“I understand.” He says nodding.

“I’ll give you some space.” He says walking past me making me feel hollow.

I hurt him.

“Are you hungry?” Sam asks making me look at him.

“We got pizza. Though Dean hasn’t eaten any.”

“He don’t when he’s worried.” I say walking down the one step and sitting at the table with Sam.

Cas somehow disparaging leaving us two alone.

“He told me about the time you almost died a few years back. He said he didn’t eat for a few days.” I say my arms still wrapped around me.

“You cold?”

I shake my head.

“I don’t want to fall apart.” I say honestly.

“You can if you want. We both have a few times.” He says smiling kindly.

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Your not. You just saw things you don’t believe in. Your brain is trying to figure out what’s real.”

“What is real?”

“Most everything but we can start with the easy stuff.” He says getting up and picking up a journal on the counter.

“This was our dads. He wrote about everything he knew about everything. It might give you some answers and most likely a lot of questions I’ll be happy to answer.

I sit with Sam just reading over everything. Him explaining things. It honestly made me feel better knowing they knew how to kill everything in this book. It also explains why Dean was the way he was. The life they lived for so long. No wonder he was hurt. He’s lost so many people already.

I left Sam in the kitchen and found Dean in the weird Map room. Him sitting drinking. He looked angry but his cheeks were wet.

“Hey.” I say softly making his head snap in my direction.

“Hey.” He says pulling his feet from the chair and setting his drink down.

He quickly wipes his face as if we both don’t know he was crying.

Picking at my fingers I take a breath.

“I’m sorry.” I say not looking at him.

“Your sorry?”

“I should have let you explain… I was- I’m scared Dean.” I say looking up at him his blood shot eyes making mine water.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“Who said I’m going anywhere?”

“What if you do is dangerous. If this is gonna work how am I meant to know your okay?” I ask swallowing the thump in my throat.

“If this is gonna work? You mean your not leaving?” He asks standing up and moving to stand in front of me.

The hope in his eyes making the tears roll down my cheeks.

“No I’m staying right here. If you’ll have me.” I say smiling.

Grinning he presses his mouth to mine making my heart skip. Wrapping his arms around him I kiss him back as he picks me up and swings me around.

I giggle him setting me down.

“I love you.” He says holding my face.

“I’m not ever leaving you alone again.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He says kissing me again.

I leaned on the wall watching Dean wrestle his brother. Them pinning each other only to break free and try again.

I flinched when I hear a crack.

“Alright that’s enough.” I say clapping my hands walking to them in the bunkers gym.

“Let me see.” I say looking at Sam’s bleeding nose.

“Your a meant to be training not braking each other.” I say glaring at Dean him smirking.

“He’s getting sloppy.” He says smiling.

“Your being a bad influence.” I say glancing at the boys boxing in the corner.

John just turning 11 and Bobby soon to be 9.

“Boys.” Dean says making them look at him. “Don’t get clocked it hurts.” He says making me smack him Sam chuckling.

“Don’t listen to him he is joking.” I say putting my hand on my hip my back hurting.

I make a face Dean touching my arm.

“You okay Y/n?” He asks worried.

“Yes, fine she just likes japping her feet in my ribs.” I say holding my stomach it blocking the few of my feet.

Hearing a phone bus I pick up off the bench.

“Sam class starts in an hour.” I say handing him his phone.

“What’s my baby brother gonna teach today?” Dean asks wrapping his arm around me.

“Your sweaty.” I say him rubbing it on me.

“Today is the history of witches.”

“You should get Roweena to help.”

“Thought about it but changed my mind when she offered to teach them a spell.”

“Good idea.” I say.

“Mom! Kevin is getting in the way.” Bobby whines making me sigh.

I turn around to see my youngest son and all his 4 year old glory trying to climb John. Bobby trying to pull him off.

“Get off of him.” I say walking to try and detangel them.

“Your brother is not a tree.” I say them Kevin laughing.

“That’s enough. You boys go get ready for school.” Dean says using his dad voice. Which I find very attractive.

They quickly separate and run out the room declaring a race to the showers.

Sighing I rub my head.

“I gonna lose my mind.” I say feeling Dean wrap his arms around me his head resting on my shoulder.

“Just be happy Benny is still asleep.” He says talking about our freshly turned 2 year old.

“Oh thank Chuck for nap time.” I say laying my head back him kissing my neck.

“Maybe she’ll be the quiet one.” He says rubbing my stomach.

“Please take after uncle Sam.”

Smiling I move to face him wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

“Remind me again why we decided to have a big family?” I ask him playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.

“Because someone thinks I’m sexy and won’t leave me alone.” He says wiggling his eyebrows.

“More like someone gets baby fever after a few years.” I say making him blush slightly.

“What’s wrong with family?” He asks clearly embarrassed.

“Nothing. I love our family. I love you. All we need is a dog.”

“We’re not getting dog.” He says making a serious face making me giggle and press my lips to his.

He kisses me back holding me close as his whole body seems to wrap around mine. I smile into the kiss feeling happy and safe. Who would have thought this all started by a green eyed man walking into a bar.