#yall are dirtier than any simsecret anon

[yooniesim]

This is not my anon but this is exactly how I feel. I've made my own mistakes but that was never why they were in the convo. They saw how badly I was suffering and swiftly took the opportunity to kick me while I was down and that's just the truth. The quick pivot into easily transitioning the anti-blackness conversation into absolving themselves and all their friends from their mistakes & various acts of bigotry by discrediting my voice in a few decisive moves was legendary. The priority & focus of the conversation was no longer about the important issue and became an almost sadistic pursuit of my "downfall". It was fucking dirty and manipulative to the point where i almost have to admire it. And emphasized to me that empathy just isn't their strong point.

We all have bias including myself and that was clearly at play here. Some of the shit I saw said about me was simply not true or completely misrepresented and I was brushed off for pointing that out in the replies. And the fact that plenty of people believed it at face value with no proof whatsoever was acceptable to them and even people that saw what really went down with their own eyes but wanted to save their own reputation with these simblrs went along with it. They even chose to believe the word of a known racist over me because it fit their narrative. Once again the vague post + wave of hate from followers method was deployed, but this time I was already at my limit before it even began. I was degraded & talked over by several white people and essentially silenced and blamed for my own violent & bigoted harassment because i hurt people's feelings on simblr and was too "annoying". I was the subject of some pretty awful shit both here & IRL to the point where I was at one of the lowest points of my life and I was basically told to eat shit for asking for time and empathy. Even after apologizing and admitting what I had done wrong, they continued to pile on and beat the dead horse because the fact of the matter is they just want me gone and ostracized & have ever since I first slighted anyone in that friend group. Which solidifies to me that another one of my mistakes was to expect any of this on simblr to be based in actual ethics or a sense of morality.

For it to be about the racefaker & anti-blackness, I didn't see 1% of the anger and name-calling towards that being from them compared to what was thrown my way & it only exploded after I had apologized for that situation and that being was long gone from simblr and kicked from my server. And it was clearly because no one was angry enough at me for their liking. "We got a racefaker in the community yeah but oh no look, that negro uses kpop gifs and was too aggressive and bitchy towards us!" Shit. As much as my reaction to the situation was never about corpsetrait & all about my own feelings and situation I was going through, which was terribly wrong of me & I still apologize for, it was clearly a similar thought process with them. And many of the posts and actions I've seen have been purely performative when you consider the nonexistent (and even mocking) reaction to what happened to me compared to the people they liked. Whereas I've spent quite a bit of time defending & trying to see other people's perspectives when I simply should've never wasted my own time or mental energy. Trust i will never make that mistake again.

I took the opportunity to apologize further and delete the channel in my server because I've seen how it was a bad idea & how it negatively affected others and me as a person, and there's nothing like being at the bottom of the barrel to humble a dumb bitch like me. But y'all better not make the mistake of thinking you're better. I know exactly what kind of chats you got, as well as the anons & messages you send, and you ain't slick nor fooling anybody taking that moral high ground. Especially while saying some of the worst things about me out the other side of your mouth. The difference between us is that I can say I was wrong, and I've never seen y'all do that once this entire time. I'm going to work on myself, and I highly advise y'all to consider the same. And if you hate me, if I annoy you, you're just going to have to block me. Because I'm not going anywhere because of you. And if you got some vile bullshit to say, I'm blocking & ignoring you. Period.