#yagami gone crazy again

[bluue-hour]

A normal day in KOF be like : 

[calebwittebane]

Hiiiiii, the vibes from ur blog tells me that u would be the type of person to love death note, am I right?? 🤭

well youre right. its bad but its good but its bad but its good but its an untouchable masterpiece for an elevated mind. light yagami is the funniest character in the world. little gay patrick bateman son of a cop. i love that his family at first didnt think much of his bizarre behavior because it really wasn't much of a change he was always like that he was always insane like that he always was the type of deranged sicko to make a contraption in his desk drawer that sets everything on fire if anyone tries to touch his diary. and like literally hes gay like misa was right there if it were me i wouldve gone crazy. also near is a good character and the show is still good after L takes the L. although i hope L is thotting it up in heaven and he gets to suck on all the toes he wants RIP light youre a fool and no one wouldve appreciated your feet like that ever again if you hadnt died. also dicks out for rem. also when lights cop dad was in hospital dying that was really funny especially when light had to pretend to care. anyway DN was ahead of its time and we will never have that kind of camp genius forever they dont make em like that anymore

also whats with the emogie. are you mocking me

[applestorms]

ooo, a shinigami eyes logistics talk again, i've written about this before!! i have some slight disagreements with this answer actually:

This only occurred because Ryuk dropped a Death Note and Light Yagami picked it up. With this, we can say with certainty that humans have free will and deaths that were not supposed to happen can occur if people interfere.

while it is definitely true that the deaths light causes go against those predestined by the lifespan counters the shinigami can see, i would argue that this is not actually proof of human free will, but of free will specifically related to the death note.

by the inherent nature of how shinigami use their death notes, it is necessary that human lifespans are static and unchanging (they wouldn't be able to gain any years otherwise), which means that to some degree they must be predetermined. humans may have some free will on a smaller scale, in terms of the specific actions they take day to day, how they eventually die, etc., but as a whole they cannot escape that number. if a human were to, for example, attempt suicide long before their lifespan ran out right before a shinigami could successfully write down their name (i.e. they die due to free will and not because of either their name being written or their counter running out), it would presumably fuck up the shinigami's ability to feed their own lifespan. humans thus must have at the very least have some major limitations on their free will, if we're assuming that this aspect of the shinigami's survival mechanism takes priority.

point is, shinigami need to be able to rely on lifespan counters as accurate for the sake of their survival. death notes themselves may go against the predetermined course of the universe in this way by killing people before their due date, but even in the case that a human is using a DN, this should not be taken as evidence of human free will-- just the ability for a shinigami-based entity to go against the natural course of human fates.

[Light] killed them with the Death Note, which was never supposed to be involved. And this is the same question that is raised when we consider Soichiro Yagami—and even Mello, for that matter. Mello likely never would've joined the mafia and done all this crazy dangerous stuff, Soichiro likely never would have gone into a dangerous raid at his age, if it weren't for the presence of the Death Note.

there are some official rules relevant to this one, specifically:

Whether the cause of the individual's death is either a suicide or accident, if the death leads to the death of more than the intended, the person will simply die of a heart attack. This is to ensure that other lives are not influenced. (X) [ and ] A human death caused by the Death Note will indirectly lengthen some other human's original life even without a specific intention to lengthen a particular person's original life span in the human world. (LIX) [ note also that X is essentially repeated in XXVI as: "Even though only one name is written in the Death Note, if it influences and causes other humans that are not written in it to die, the victim's cause of death will be a heart attack." ]

thus at least according to the official DN rules (and this could definitely have some plot holes/inconsistencies, but let's see if we can make it fit anyways) human lifespans can be influenced by deaths caused by the DN, but only in a positive manner, e.g. a lifespan can end up longer than originally determined, but cannot end up shorter.

the most questionable/unrealistic part of all of this in my mind though is that claim that, "other lives are not influenced." the more obvious point that this is trying to establish is that other (unwritten) lives cannot be cut off in the sense that you can't write "Person A kills [such-and-such]," without writing both names, meaning that light can't write something like, "Soichiro Yagami kills the head of the KIRA investigation, the man under the pseudonym L," and end the story prematurely. but this statement also has the somewhat awkward side effect of implying that lives as a whole cannot be majorly influenced by the DN so long as their names are not written...

ANYWAYS, the important point here is again the fact that the lifespan itself is what is being predetermined, and not necessarily the exact cause of death. perhaps there are many paths that an individual human may take throughout their life, and they have free will in terms of which specific one they choose-- but they cannot change the natural date of when they're fated to die, at least not without the help of the shinigami. and again, a death cannot come earlier due to DN influence, only later.

soichiro took the eyes because he was already suicidal-- he thought himself a failure for allowing mello to get the DN and use him to manipulate the task force, for choosing his daughter's life over his job. i can very easily see an alternate timeline where he allowed matsuda to take the eyes as planned, only to either off himself or die from the same explosion but slightly slower a day later than in canon, or even one where he did take the eyes but wrote mello's name, forcing light to kill him to cover his tracks & keep up appearances with the 13 day rule. thus his death was coming soon no matter what in the timeline where a DN does exist-- and in the case where it doesn't, where light never got the notebook or ryuk never dropped it, i think the divergences are just too extreme for us to be able to claim whether or not he would've died at that same point in time. our only evidence is really the lifespan itself, which would presumably claim that he dies either at the same time as his dead in canon, or even a bit earlier if we assume that the DN's influence somehow lengthened his life in some way (maybe by killing a criminal that would've gotten him?).

edit: the key point here is that soichiro’s name wasn’t written, so his lifespan can’t be influenced to be shorter by the DN.

in the case of mello, i guess i just don't see it as all that unrealistic that mello would've still joined the mafia or somehow lost his shit, considering how relatively disconnected both mello & near are from the KIRA investigation. their rivalry (well, maybe more like "rivalry" in near's case) seems like such a key part of their characters, i can see plenty of other circumstances under which something like that might've happened. and we don't really know mello's "true" death date anyways, since takada killed him with the DN, so...

[D]espite halving her lifespan twice, I think Misa had the potential to live for an extremely long time, possibly even way past the average lifespan of a normal human. But she killed herself. And that's where the big question about free will and destiny come in.

your equation is a very helpful visual, but the one thing that i think it may be missing is the fact that misa had already run up against the end of her natural lifespan at the time that gelus saved her and gave her his little time infusion. so, when we're judging whether or not it is realistic that misa would've died by the end of the story, we're really only counting 1/4 of gelus's lifespan + all of rem's remaining time.

i don't think it's entirely unrealistic that even if shinigami as a whole have plenty of time ticking away, gelus & rem do not. their interest in misa to begin with sets the two of them up as kinda weird in contrast with the rest of the shinigami-- honestly, even ryuk, with his fixation on humans as a source of entertainment, is a bit of an odd one out. shinigami just Don't seem to give much of a shit about humanity (at least until KIRA happens)-- looking at ryuk's explanation:

In actual fact, shinigami these days don't have a lot to do. All they do is nap, or gamble. If they see you scribbling humans' names into your death note, they say, "What're you working so hard for?" and laugh at you. (ch.1)

thus, at least at the start of the story, shinigami have some degree of social pressure to not want to write their names down (assuming they care about being laughed at) and/or typically just don't give enough of a shit to bother unless they're already running super low (e.g. sidoh). considering the fact that gelus was busy watching misa all the time, and that his lifespan was essentially quartered by the end, it doesn't seem too unrealistic to me to think that he wasn't exactly giving her a whole lot. they also don't seem to have any way of knowing, in exact terms, just how much life they or other shinigami have left, since their lifespan counters are not revealed by their eyes like human lifespans are, so if a shinigami isn’t paying a whole lot of attention it may be easy to let it trickle down a lot without realizing.

the bigger question here is perhaps rem, who dies by writing watari & L's names, yes, but also writes down the name of one of higuchi's victims while in the car with misa to help convince him that she's the second KIRA, meaning that she has at least the remains of one human lifespan to hand over to misa right at the end of the story...

obviously though, a lot of this is just speculation since we never actually know how much time either shinigami had (and perhaps they didn't even know themselves, considering again that they can only see human lifespans). misa definitely could've had a super long lifespan and lived long past an ordinary human lifespan, exactly as you say. in the manga canon specifically, we never actually see her in-story again and her "confirmed" death date is only something from vol. 13, which has somewhat questionable information that at the very least isn't explicitly depicted in the canon of the story itself.

(reason number 5 billion why that "random woman," at the end of the series should totally be misa because i mean come. on. the woman whose whole thing is living past when she should've died, living for [x] stupidly long time to lead some mystery KIRA cult in the mountains??? obha, what the fuck. it's right there.)

wait so soichiro died a day after getting the eyes. so does that mean he only had two days left to live??? 😱

Ooookay, so this one is a very common claim/theory. The same applies to the, MIsa committed suicide a year after the manga ended, meaning people think that's how many years she got from Gelus and Rem combined as well as halving twice. Personally, I find that unlikely. I'll get to Soichiro, but I'm going to use Misa as the main example for the followiong rant:

It sounds like Shinigami don't bothering writing down names often, meaning they're generally okay on remaining years. They could write the names of two humans and have like, nearly two hundred years added to their lifespan. Only Shinigami we've ever seen worried about running out is Sidoh. Gelus we only knew for five seconds, but Rem never seems to say or do anything indicating that she is lacking in years. So here is my little equation that is likely wrong because I am tired right now:

In my personal opinion, despite halving her lifespan twice, I think Misa had the potential to live for an extremely long time, possibly even way past the average lifespan of a normal human. But she killed herself. And that's where the big question about free will and destiny come in. How much do humans actually control? Was it a coincidence the Misa's scheduled death was going to be at the hands of a stalker who planned a murder-suicide? Or was it somehow destined and predetermined that this man would grow obsessed with Misa to the point he ends both of their lives?

Criminals are dropping dead at alarming rates, and it is very much NOT NORMAL. It can only be the work of a person somehow causing these deaths. There was not supposed to be a sudden, random wave of criminal deaths. This only occurred because Ryuk dropped a Death Note and Light Yagami picked it up. With this, we can say with certainty that humans have free will and deaths that were not supposed to happen can occur if people interfere. Not to mention that Shinigami take years from humans who had remaining years, so they are messing with how lifespans and whatnot are supposed to naturally work.

So Light Yagami caused deaths that were never supposed to happen via his choices/actions. He killed them with the Death Note, which was never supposed to be involved. And this is the same question that is raised when we consider Soichiro Yagami—and even Mello, for that matter. Mello likely never would've joined the mafia and done all this crazy dangerous stuff, Soichiro likely never would have gone into a dangerous raid at his age, if it weren't for the presence of the Death Note.

So did Soichiro Yagami canonically have two days to live? The answer is that there is no way of actually knowing. In my personal opinion, the answer is no.

[welivetodream]

Characters that fascinate me:

1. Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter): after re-reading HP again, I started to put more effort on dissecting the interactions between Dumbledore and other people, especially Harry and Snape. Dumbledore's strategies, plans and the use of emotions of other people for his favours and for the greater good is for me unlike what most people consider, admirable. I have heard many people mention the fact they hate Dumble's because he is "evil", I like morally grey characters and the fact is Dumbledore's actions were not evil in any way. Did he raise Harry to die? Yes. But that doesn't mean he did that for fun (or ounce presented a way to save Harry he didn't make sure to prevent his death). Every step Dumbledore took was to defeat Voldy in the end, who was committing mass genocide. To prevent deaths of hundreds, thousands of people, it was okay for him to sacrifice certain people (mostly Himself, Harry and Snape). I also think Dumbledore could or should have been in Ravenclaw or Slytherin because his qualities matches those houses more than Gryffindor (also can you imagine how conflicting it would have been for Harry if Dumbledore causally mentions he is a Slytherin or if he was a Ravenclaw there could have been more characters in that house than Quirrell and Lockhart of all people)

2.  Daria Morgendorffer (Daria): if there was a character that I could relate to the most, it's her. Daria's cynical outlook, her quick wit, her quotes are so entertaining to watch. Its really amazing to be able to have a character that represents the perceptions of the quiet kids. As one of them, Daria is the representation of rebellion against the power hungry, capitalistic and tone deaf world we live in.

3. Amy Dunne (Gone Girl): this woman sacres me. She is the epitome of the perfectly imperfect villainous yet fascinating character that captures your attention. She is a psychopath. She is a liar. She is deranged. And I can't help liking her as a complex person.

4. Wanda Maximoff (Wandavison): from her ability to manipulate the minds of all the original avengers (except Hawkeye) in age of Ultron to her batshit crazy powers in multiverse of madness (including the fact defeating the entire illuminati while dream walking), Wanda had come far from being just another avenger to one of most powerful beings in the current MCU. And all of that due to a mother's love, shows you how powerful loss and love can be.

5. L. Lawliet (Death Note): world's top three detectives, the boy who stopped WW3 as a kid, the blueprint for Wammy's house, the deductive genius who almost captured the worst serial killer in history. L will never cease to be interesting. His backstory reveals that L was always the best, no matter if he could defeat Light Yagami or not (he sort of did defeat Light as he knew Light was Kira the 1st time he met him). The most interesting aspect of L is how neutral his moral ideals are, on one hand he spends all this time (literally, as he doesn't sleep) to solve the Kira case, on the other hand he isn't reluctant to play with people's emotions and sacrifice certain people to reach his end goals. While L is the antagonist, everyone loves him as the hero to Light's protagonist villain. I do love L as much as the next person; what I love more than that is how he is just as morally grey as Light but stays on the grey part and never becomes the villain he could be, something that Light became.

6. Allison Dilaurentis (Pretty Little Liars): in my opinion, the most evil of the onscreen Mean girls (except for Courtney Shane and Chanel Oberlin). Allison in the first few seasons was the most fascinating aspect of the show, the sheer power she holds in Rosewood, the way she manipulates all her friends, the way she could destroy lives of anyone she wants is the best part of her character. But after her return from the "dead" she became kinda boring and not the fantastic villain we wished she was. Like, they could have made Aria "A" instead of evil British cousin and made Allison the one controlling Aria, as it was clear Aria was hiding something about herself, the show also gave many clues about her and she seemed be the person Allison liked the most among the liars (she also got the least torment from Allison as well as A). It makes sense if they were both working together. But no, that's too predictable! You have to pull the evil twin plot for shock value!!!!

7. Regulus Black (Harry Potter): he is the best example of a good Slytherin (*ahem* Snape *ahem*). The best thing about his arc is he used to be a death eater but changed sides after knowing how shitty Voldy is, protected his house elf and sacrificed his life for the world. And had a better reason for changing sides than someone very similar to him (*ahem* Snape *ahem*)

Ps: I did not die. Next time.

[i-cant-sing]

Omg part 2 for yan light please? Your writing is so on charater for him and yan L was also really good as well

Yandere Light Yagami Pt 2:

Pt 1 can be found here!

Thanks to everyone for requesting pt 1! Enjoy! :)

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Light Yagami:

You didn't know you could be this compliant. You didn't. But Light did.

As you both layed in bed, naked, Light holding you to his chest, rubbing soothing circles on your belly, you both had different train of thoughts that were ultimately going to reach the same station. You were thinking about how you had become so... docile? Had you been in confinement for too long? Was Stockholm syndrome kicking in? Was it because of the guilt of not being able to stop him? Or was it because Light killed everyone you cared about?

You had tried to play his psychological games. But you lost. You had managed to get a hold of the Deathnote, and you were going to write his name in but he caught you and broke your fingers. You then tried to play along; you came up with a good system for who to kill. You would do extensive research on each person, serving both purposes: to see if the person truly deserved death and to slow Light down. But you later found out that your efforts didn't matter. He was killing people on a whim and he was having someone else do it for him. Misa Amane. She was quite famous. And pretty too. You didn't know why Light would use you for intimacy, both in and out of bed, when he already had a willing participant.

For every mistake you made, no matter how little, Light would punish you by killing people you were even remotely associated with. Your family, friends, everyone was dead. And judging by the content look on his face, L was going to die soon too. Hopelessness. Maybe that's why you have become like this.

"I love you." Light said, pressing a kiss to your temple as he snuggled you more. "You're so beautiful like this." You really were, in his eyes. Now that you don't fight him anymore, now that you understood that you belong to him, you're beautiful. Light liked you being so... submissive. But more than that, he loved the look of complete defeat in your eyes, the realisation that you only have him in this world now. No ones going to come for you. No one could; only he and Misa knew about you.

"What's next?"you managed to ask him. Whats next on his list of impending doom? He hummed, before replying, "Well, soon all obstacles in my way are going to be removed. Once that happens, I'll become the ruler of the world. And then, I'll get rid of all the filth in this world." You closed your eyes, asking "how? Do you have a new system of justice in mind?" Light gripped your chin, turning your head towards him. "I am the system, (Y/n). I am justice." You saw that crazy look in his eyes. You sighed, turning away from him, but Light suddenly flipped you over, straddling your waist as he leaned down. His hair tickling your face as he looked at you with possessiveness. "Dont look so gloomy, darling. I know you feel lonely when I'm not here, but soon you'll have a baby to keep you company." He said before kissing you passionately, biting your lips hard before getting off of you. "For now, Misa will keep you entertained." He chuckled before putting the cuff back on your ankle, and left the room.

Misa. When you first met her, you knew she didn't like you. She thought that you were trying to steal Light from him, that you were actually in love with him. She tried to attack you at first, but Light had pulled her out of the room and told her that he actually loved her and that you were just a part of the plan, a temporary plaything. And so Misa put up with you. Light would usually put her in charge of you; he had caught you trying to stab yourself with a nail filer after he had slept with you the first time. And now that you were carrying his child, he had to make sure you wouldn't do anything like that again.

Misa came in a few hours later, locking the door behind her like usual. "Hey, (Y/n)!"she chirped, as she skipped towards you. "I brought some stuff for you!"she told you as she dangled big shopping bag. "Hi, Misa. Whats in that?"you asked her, your voice monotonous. She put the bag down and started to uncuff your ankle. "You'll see! But first, let's take a bath." She helped you clean up yourself and the room. Once she was done, she sat you down on the bed and gave you the bag. You opened the bag to find clothes in it. Maternity clothes. You had barely started to show. You were a bit glad that you hadn’t started showing, because anything associated with the baby would make you remember the events that caused it. When you first realised that you were pregnant, you tried everything you could to get rid of it. You didn't want to give him another thing to hold over your head. But once Light found out, he became even worse somehow. He was glad he was having a child; and now he had to do everything to make the world fit for his offspring. He started handing out harsher deaths, killing off people who rubbed him off the wrong way. To you, he stopped being physically violent. But he did become more possessive of you. He wanted to know what you were doing, why you were doing it. He wanted to know if you had fallen in love with him; if you had finally decided to become his lapdog.

When Misa came to know about your pregnancy, she was angry. Not at Light, but at you. But Light manipulated her again. He told her that he didn't want her to have a kid because her body would get messed up. And he needed her as his right hand, and being pregnant would get in the way of that. Once the baby was here, they would raise it together, as if you were a surrogate. Misa bought it.

You knew Misa wasn't stupid. She was actually quite intelligent. You actually enjoyed her company. After Light would do his number on you, it would be Misa who would come to pick up the pieces. She would be the one to wipe your tears away and bandage you up.

You had tried to convince her to let you go, tried to even fight her. But she was too observant. She predicted your moves. She always knew when you were planning something. She saw right through you.

You thanked Misa for the maternity clothes. She had ordered you guys some food, your favourite. As you began eating, Misa looked at your belly, with adoration and envy? "Penny for your thoughts?"your voice brought her of her trance. "Oh! It's nothing. Just thinking about how much Light would love the baby. I cant wait for it to come!" She smiled. You looked at her, shaking your head. "He won't." "What?" "He won't love the baby, Misa. He isn't capable of that."you told her. She smiled, "You're wrong. He does love. He loves me! He loves you too, I know. But he loves me more! And he'll love the baby as well!"

You finished up your food, "Light doesn't love us Misa. Not you, me or this baby. If he did, why would he beat you? I've seen the bruises on your arms, don't try denying. You know that he's just using you to achieve his goals. And I'm just a rag doll for him. You deserve better than him. You don’t deserve the resentment Light gives you when all you do is love him. Once he's tired of us, he'll get rid of us too. He’s hurt both of us. He's hurting both of us." You held her hand, looking her dead in the eyes. "And love isn't supposed to hurt Misa." She looked at you with an indescribable emotion in her eyes, whatever fantasy of Light she had, was cracking. "Whatever. Its not like I've got through to you before anyways-" you were cut off by Misa, her soft lips crashing with yours.

You tried to push her off, but she wouldn't budge. You heard the door open and suddenly she was ripped off of you. It was Light. He dragged Misa to the corner of the room and started thrashing her. "WHAT THE FUCK MISA?! I TOLD YOU TO LOOK AFTER HER! NOT FUCK HER!" Misa starts stammering, "Light, baby. Its not what you think-" She was cut off by Light slapping her. "Oh its not?! You were fucking sticking your tongue down her throat!" "No, it was just an accide-" He slapped her again, causing her to cry. "SHUT UP! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOU! SHE'S MINE! MINE!" Light started choking her, not realising in his screaming fit that he'd left the door wide open for you.

This was it. The perfect distraction. Your moment to escape has finally come. But you couldn't move. Not when your eyes were fixed on Misa.

You were almost a carbon copy of Light when it came to intelligence. But you still weren't able to escape him all these months. Because Light was able to control you because of a single flaw of yours. You cared. You cared about people you didn't even know, but you still cared.

If I leave now, she will die. And with that thought, you lunged towards Light, pulling at his arms trying to get him off. "Light! Stop it! Its not her fault!" Suddenly, you were pushed to the ground. Light started punching you. "Oh I know its not her fault! ITS YOURS! YOU DECIDED TO WHORE YOURSELF TO HER SO YOU COULD GET OUT OF HERE, RIGHT?! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU. BELONG. TO. ME!?!"He yelled between punches.

Misa looked at you from behind Light's shoulder. She quickly got up and tried to stop him. Pulling at his arm, she yelled again "Light! Stop! You'll kill her and the baby!" But he didn't stop, only replying "She's gone through worse! And if the baby's that weak, then it doesn't deserve to survive!" And just like that, Misa realised you were right. Whatever dream she had of Light and her was gone. She slowly backed away from Light.

Light was still punching you, even though you had lost consciousness long ago. Suddenly, Light started choking up. He got off you, not understanding what was happening to him. He turned to look for Misa, asking her to help him. But as she stood there, with the Deathnote in her hands, he realised what had happened. Misa had written his name. "M-Misa!?" She just stood there, her eyes glazed. Or had she finally woken up? "Love isn't supposed to hurt, Light And you've hurt us. A lot. Now perish."

Once Light had stopped breathing, she rushed towards you. She checked for your pulse. You were still alive. Misa pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "It'll be okay, (Y/n). We'll be okay. I'll fix everything."

You all got part 2, I got the ending I wanted. Everybody wins.

Now if someone here knows how to study biochem or do witchcraft, hmu cause I dont wanna fail exams. Speaking of which, Ill be less active here, so if you do send in requests, keep them short. Or better yet, send in questions. I’ll be happy to answer them. :)

[chrichri-chan-18-love]

For you (Yandere Harem x Reader)

OUR YANDERES FOR THIS HAREM:

ILLUMI (HUNTER X HUNTER)

CHROLLO (HUNTER X HUNTER)

IZAYA (DURARARA)

LIGHT (DEATH NOTE)

DAZAI (BUNGO STRAY DOGS)

You... you were one of the most unlucky creatures you’ve ever known. You had once been a strong and proud yokai. The lengedary nine tail fox, descendant of one of the most noble bloodlines among your kind. One day, a shinigami asked for your assistance, claiming that a “friend” of his, needed a much stronger ally.

Light Yagami, a child that was arrogant and saw himself as a just and noble person. You disguised yourself as a normal human girl and gave him a good lecture about that little fantasy about his, when he threatened to write your name in the Death Note, you revealed yourself and told him off.

“If you think that this little notebook can help you become a god, you are mistaken. You are a human that will live and die, then whatever legacy you think you can create,will be forgotten with time.”

Your words had an impact on him, you however, had an even bigger one. He became obsessed, coming to you for advice, talking to you for hours and trying to charm you. However you knew better, you never allowed him to know anything but the bare minimum about your kind and abilities.

When Light became too invasive, you didn’t hesitate to use an old techinque to cross dimensions. The only good thing about Japan was that no matter how many universes there were, with all the crazy abilities and people, yokai still existed. That’s why you could cross over... the world you entered was weird, yet you paid it little attention, you became friends with a mortal teenage girl named Honoka, the two of you got into a lot of mischief...but one day, she began acting like a mindless puppet... and it wasn’t long before you figured out why.

That made you cross paths with Illumi Zoldyck.The two of you met after you stopped his needles easily and rescued his little brother from another yokai that had come after you, growing closer after a while and becoming friends with him and Gon. Illumi was intrigued with you and after your meeting, which resulted in a fight that ended as a draw, decided to investigate more about the nine tail fox. Seeing as having by Killua’s side was beneficial for both Killua and him.

However after three weeks, you gained the attention of another man, Chrollo Lucilfer. He watched in awe as you revealed yourself during a fight over an ancient relic that originally belonged to your kind.Chrollo studied you with fascination, obsessing over the unknown that you represented, his calm behavior never betrayed a thing about this... but he wanted to have you, keep you to himself and learn everything about you.

And he wasn’t the only one.

Illumi tried to control you but he failed again and again... and seeing as you were able to fight him without any problem, he slowly began to fancy you, even thinking of marrying you...Killua liked you and you were strong, you were mysterious yet welcoming to those you deemed worthy of your trust. Viscious to your enemies, never hesitating in battle. He... liked that.

The two didn’t meet until you revealed to Gon and Killua that you planned to leave. You had sense Light entering this realm, probably with the help of another yokai. You gave them a parting gift, the fangs of your childhood years. They carried some of your power and thus they would be protected, you also asked them to give a small hairpin to Honoka and tell her how thankfull you were to have her as a friend.

Just in time too, because Illumi, Chrollo and Light appeared and preapred to subdue you. Using your power, you once again crossed dimensions without noticing that the three males had entered the portal too, this time ending up in a dimension you had been during your childhood... you recalled that there had been one boy that had tried to mess with you... his name was.. Osamu Dazai...he was quite weird, always talking about suicide and how wonderfull it would be if you and him could die together. He... creeped you out back then and he still did, the second he saw you he wrapped his arms around you, talking about how pretty you had become, how much he missed you and how you two could die together after years of seperation....you literally pushed him aside and went to the nearest shrine dedicated to a foc spirit to settle down. Dazai didn’t leave your side, becoming a pest as he told you of his life, of his filled with bloodshed and war... being overly dramatic about it too.

“You haven’t changed a bit. I swear, if I had thought it a bit more I would have stayed back to deal with Light or Chrollo and Illumi.”

“ Light... Chrollo.... Illumi... huh?” Dazai said, his tone dropping as he looked at you seriously... you felt a chill run down your spine, yeah, that was the reason you had left from this dimension, this... tone, that gaze and that possessive aura... oh, it was making you feel sick.

“Well,well. Look at what I found.” A new voice said, turning around you saw a man looking at you two with a smirk.

“Oh great! Now who are you, exactly?” You asked and he came closer, Dazai became stiff at the sight.

“Izaya Orihara, at your service, my cute little fox girl”

You scoffed at that, another weirdo... wonderfull.

“Another mortal with a problematic attitude, at this point I might even call myself cursed.” You said, turning around and leaving the two alone. 

“Stay away from her, Izaya. I’ve long since taken my rightfull place in her life.”

“Aww, now that’s just rude. I’ve been watching you two from afar for a very long time. I wanted to get along with her too, you know. She is so cute when she’s mad, sad or excited about something.”

“So, you’re a stalker? I’m shocked...not.”

“You’re no better Dazai, my friend. I know that you’ve been after her for a very long time and that you’ve done the same things as I, if not even more.”

“What do you want, Izaya?”

“Let’s become partners in crime! See if those three males she spoke of are anything special. If they are, I am not against sharing.”

Dazai thought this over before eventually agreeing, if the men you spoke of were strong, then sharing would be the only thing left to do... and not even a day later, all five of them met, they exchanged information and formed a plan to get you. 

You never stood a chance against all of them.

They sealed the majority of your power through a contact made with blood. Thus making you something of a guardian spirit... you were tricked by them and you payed the price by becoming their precious servant.

Izaya, Dazai and Chrollo didn’t mind spoiling you and letting you go out, with the condition that you behaved and did everything they wanted. Illumi and Light weren’t really into that, prefering to isolate you and slowly break you into accepting them, Light wanted you to love him and Illumi wanted to ensure that he would always be in your heart, that his memory would live on with you even after he was long gone.

Honestly... you really did believe that you were the most unlucky creature, anyone in your place would think so... but you hoped, begged that one of them would die sooner rather than later... especially when one of them talked about a baby born from a human and a yokai, you couldn’t remember who it had been... but the idea spread like wildfire...

Once they were all dead, once they died... you would be free... you just had to hold on... you just needed to wait, even if you suffered, hope still remained in you. 

Untill then,you had no choice but to listen to what them... to become a doll meant to make them happy.

Really, you were just unlucky... because you might fall for one of them as the years pass by... and then... then you’d probably join them in death... because they clearly didn’t plan on ever letting you go.

[sparetimeimagines]

Could you do please do L x reader smut. Reader is hidding something (birthday surprise/anything else). L being smart detective understood that, however reader is not willingly says anything. So L has sex with her so that she tells it. Bondage

Tell Me | L Lawliet

Dom!L, Smut, Choking, Edging, Polaroids

Masterlist

Light Yagami was getting on your nerves. He was always on your boyfriend’s mind.

Who was Light Yagami. What was Light Yagami hiding?

And the most popular, is Light Yagami the infamous Kira?

He was so infatuated by Light Yagami, that L didn’t stop to notice you’ve been hiding something. You’ve hidden a present from L, one for him to keep it on him for those long nights when he’s investigating Kira.

So many days have come and gone, important dates he should have spent with you, and you weren’t going to let his birthday go unnoticed.

Hidden under the mattress, you had an envelope with racy photos.

L stayed in the hotel for the third day in a row, not bothering to return, and with his birthday arriving shortly, you were growing inpatient with his return.

You knew he was in a hotel working the Kita case. You knew he was busy, and you didn’t want to bother him, but you couldn’t help but feel forgotten.

The front door shuts and you quickly shove the photos under the mattress. Foot steps casually make their way to the bedroom door, your heart races in anticipation.

“Baby Girl.” The door opens and you feel your stomach churn in delight.

My god it feels like an eternity.

Your lower lip sucks in your between your teeth, he instantly noticing your neediness.

His dark eyes travel down your body, he palming himself through his pants.

“You know what I want.” He pushes you back onto the bed without warning needed. His lips kissing up your neck, he moans into your ear. “You have that look your face again.” He bites your lobe. “What are you hiding?” His hand hovers your bottoms, fingers massaging the outside.

“It’s nothing.” You gasp and dips his finger in.

“You’re a liar.” He then flips you over on your stomach, stripping you from your bottoms. “Tell me where it is, Baby Girl, I know you’re hiding something.” His hand pins your neck down in the bed, both his legs surrounding yours, sitting on the back of your thighs.

“That sweet pussy is perking out for me. God, you’re so wet.” His finger traces your slit. Your breath hitches in your throat, a whimper kissing his ears with delight. “Use your words, Baby Girl.”

“Touch me.” You moan with attempt to push your hips into him.

A chuckle releases from his throat as he blows on your swollen cunt.

“Tell me what you’re hiding.” You can hear the smirk in his throat as he lighting touches the crease of your ass and your leg.

“No.” You smirk and He shoves your head into the mattress.

“That’s ok. I can wait.” He reaches forward, grabbing the cuffs he has connected to the bed. “Last chance, Baby Girl.”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Fine then.” He cuffs your wrist out of your control. “Suit yourself.”

“L, you didnt.”

“I did. I have all weekend. You decided to be a brat so I’m gonna let you have your way.”

“L, no. I’m sorry.”

“Are you gonna tell me what you’re hiding?”

You’re silent, when a smack kisses your right cheek from behind, causing a yelp.

“Well, are you?”

“No.”

“Then stay where you’re at.” He smacks your cheek once more, watching how your muscles tense around his inflicted pain.

“Think about how you’re gonna tell me what you’ll do.” He climbs off you, a groan escaping your lips catching his attention.

“No no. No mam, you’re not allowed to whine. You put yourself in this position. Think about what you’ve done.” He caresses your leg then walks out towards the bathroom.

You hear the shower cut on and with another frustrated groan leaving your lips.

“The more you struggle, the longer I’ll make you stay like that.” His monotone voice fades and the shower door opens to his dismay.

He would leave the door open. He wants to hear you suffer.

“Maybe I’ll let you have a second chance before I leave later today.”

“You’re leaving me again?!” You cry out and he laughs.

“I guess you’ll have to find out. I mean, it’s not like you can stop me.”

Minutes pass, the slow burn of your aching muscles, the stagnant blood homing itself in your arms makes you think about your secret. It was an easy one you could simply give to your boyfriend with no problems, but you wanted to punish him. He needed to understand he may not leave you for days at a time.

However, looking at the situation you’re in right now, bounded to the bed in his favor, you decided you may not be winning this battle.

“Mmm you’re so pretty. Maybe I should tie your legs in opposite directions too.” You can hear the smirk on his lips as water drips down your legs. “Mmm open access to that pretty cunt ready for me.”

His wet fingers pull your legs into an arch, your ass in peak presentation for him.

“Spread those legs, Baby.” L pats the insides of your thighs. He grips your hips, admiring the few of your sobbing pussy, your back arched in your submission.

“Good girl.” He rubs your round backside, placing a single, light smack. Spreading your lips with his two forefingers, he admires that tight hole.

“I want to believe you’ve thought about your wrong doings.” He presses a single finger inside you, stretching against your walls. “Maybe you need some motivation, maybe then you’ll start behaving.”

His finger slides in and out slowly, feeling the slick coat his long digit.

“Mmm fuck baby.” You moan, attempting to feel him deeper inside you.

“Yeah? You like that?” He runs his nails over your hip. “Then you should learn to behave.” Those nails grip you, digging into your skin. His finger aggressively turns into your core, stretching you by adding another digit.

“More. L, it’s been so long and I’m so tight.”

“Yeah?” He curves his fingers up gaining another moan. “Is my poor baby needy?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Aww.” He leans over his fingers leaving your tight cunt and resurfacing to your lips. “Clean me up.” He whispers smooth in your ear, feeling your warm tongue on his fingers. “Good girl.”

Twisting those digits in between your lips, he pulls out to leave a long stripe along your slick folds.

“See what happens when you behave.” He licks your cunt once more. “You get praise. You get to be my good girl. You get that pretty little pussy ate like the Princess you are.” His tongue runs up and down your core, him slurping your juices with a moan.

“You’ve been eating well.” He licks. “So sweet.”

Pulling your hips closer his tongue, he teases your clit painfully slow with the tip, then he begins circling your clit for your attention. “Good girl. Spread those legs.”

His fingers curve back into your tight cunt.

“Oh my God, don’t stop, L.”

You feel him smirk against your lips, a high building in between his strokes.

“You like that?” He grunts. “Does my baby want more?”

You’re hoping he forgot about the photos and nod your head with a pant.

“Yeah? You do? The how about showing me what you’re hiding.”

All stops and you let out a long groan.

“L!” You cry out and he lets out a long sigh.

“Now now, you can’t be acting like I owe you something. You’re the one who won’t give it up.” You turn to look at him as he wipes his mouth. “Just give it. Tell me where it is. What are you hiding?”

He uncuffs you, he flipping you on your stomach.

The first time you’ve seen since his shower. Hair wet, sticking to his face as the rest rests against his shoulders.

This burning sensation builds in the pit of your stomach, wanting to see what he’s hiding under the towel.

“Baby...” you whine him slapping your cunt.

“I don’t like it when you whine.” He shoves his fingers inside you, your eyes rolling back.

“Fuck me, L. I want to feel you so bad.”

“You want to feel me?”

“Yes.”

“You want to feel this cock inside you?” He gropes himself from the towel, making his length grow before your eyes.

“Yes, L.”

“Then maybe...” he leans down in between your legs, giving it a quick kiss, “you should,” he moves to your breast then your lips for the first time that night. “Behave.”

You grab his cock without his permission, pumping it a few times.

“Who said you can be such a naughty girl? Touching things that are not yours?” He gasps finally being touched. He lets you jack him off, slowly lowering him in to your tight hole.

“You’re mine, L.” You moan with a smile.

“You think so?” He inhales biting his lower lip.

“Mmmhm.” You moan scooting down to his head.

“You think you’re gonna get fucked tonight?”

“Yes.”

He lines up with the entrance, his head kissing your folds, barely stretching you. The pressure makes you moan, a smile embracing his touch.

L slides in slowly, his stretch making you burn along your walls.

“Fuck baby.” He groans hovering down to your lips. “Fuck you feel so good.”

He lets out a moan slowly bottoming into you. “I wanna make you cum on my cock. He begins thrusting slowly, teasing your cunt into submission. You need him, you want him. He knows how to make you cum.

You rolls your eyes back feeling him stuff your sensitive twat.

“No no no, Baby Girl. Watch me.” He cups your chin picking up his pace. Your eyes steady on him, your hand gripping his hair. “How does it feel baby?”

“Good...” you moan and he smirks.

“Think you wanna cum for me Baby Girl?” He know those pet names drive you crazy. “Think you’re gonna let me cum inside your tight pussy? I’ve been thinking about you all week.” He thrusts harder, feeling those walls tighten around him.

“Have you?”

“That’s right. I’ve been thinking about fucking you raw, letting you feel my cock for everything it is.”

Moans begin slipping your mouth.

“Yeah? Does that feel good baby? Or are you just getting off from thinking about me filling that slutty pussy of yours with my seed?” His fingers abuse your throbbing clit, feeling you twitch under his touch.

“Yeah? You gonna cum for me?”

You nod throwing your head back biting your lip.

“You deserve me fucking you like this?” He asks bottoming long strokes and waiting for your moan.

“Yes, L. Yes I do.” You pant.

“Then I should let you cum.”

Instead of leaning forward, biting your neck to embrace those pretty moans of yours, he does the opposite, pulling out, leaving you high and dry.

“What the fuck, L?” You cry out, your high dropping as he cups your neck.

“You wanna cum? Tell me where it is.”

“Where what is?” You pout and he strokes his cock.

“Your secret. Where are you hiding it?” He shoves his cock back into your sobbing hole, thrusting mad like before. “Don’t you lie to me, you want to cum remember.”

You fight your thoughts, letting him drill you like before.

“Tell me.” He growls.

If you remain silent, and cum quietly he’ll never know.

“Tell me.” L violently circles your clit, feeling your walls tighten and a moan escape those rosy lips.

You’re losing this fight.

Fast penetrations fall to nothing when he pulls out again.

“Dammit, L.”

“Tell where what you’re hiding and I’ll let you cum.”

Your red face is accompanied by his lips pushing against your neck, biting into your flesh. He pets your cunt slowly making you cry out.

“You could have came earlier. All you had to do is tell me where you’re hiding it.” He bites your neck shoving his cock back in.

“Where is it?”

Your fingers tremble against his skin.

“Y/n, you want to cum. I want to cum. Just tell me where it is.” He pants, not being able to hold on much longer. His fingers caress your cunt and he begins choking you.

“Fuck. Fuck.” You can’t hang on much longer. “Under the mattress. It’s under the mattress. Please let me cum!” You cry out feeling him thrust harder than before, your walls tight and he finally giving in to your cries, cumming inside your sobbing hole.

His hips jerking, he collapses on top of you, kissing your forehead in between pants.

“You’re so stubborn, Y/n.” His heart catches up with yours as he leans over to chest your hiding place.

An envelope with Polaroids made of you in the sexiest outfits you have are laid like cards In between his fingers.

“My God, baby. You’re perfect..” he moans, placing a hand on your stomach. “These are...” he moans in hailing sharply. “Stunning. Are these mine? They better be.”

You nod in between breaths and he smirks.

“Perfect. I need these. Thank you.”

He turns to you, setting the Polaroids down, sliding to kiss your lips. “How’d you know I needed these?”

“I can’t have you distracted by someone else.” You whispered against his lips.

“Like I have the energy to train someone else.” He pats your fucked out cunt. “You’re enough work as it is.” He leans down, placing his lips against yours, his fingers caressing your jaw. “Oh, and if you ever want to cum again , I’d suggest never hiding anything from me again, Baby Girl.”

[grandmarielaylanen]

Nicole Laylanen

Template made by Epel and edited a tad to add a few things by Me. Also, art is by @virunathestarbaby​ (this is also mentioned later in the post).

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"It's a polyamorous relationship, kindly fuck off"

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Basic Information

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Name: Nicole (Aubrey) Laylanen

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Asexual Biromantic

Date Of Birth: December 26th

Profession: Writer

Age: 123 (at the start of the 17th universe)

Species: Covenant

Hobbies: Baking, writing

Zodiac: Capricorn

Personality: Calm, caring, dishonest, protective, secretive

Flaws: Doesn't think about herself, has a tendency to lie, overthinks

Phobias: Thalassophobia (lakes + rivers, has no problem with ocean), Gephyrophobia (ones over water)

Love Interest: Light Yagami (Laylanen-Yagami) and L Lawliet (Laylanen-Yagami)

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"I know I need to take care of myself but.. but how do I do that? How do I start caring if I'll get hurt? How do.. how do I go back to normal..?"

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Looks

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Hair Length: Down to the middle of her back

Hair Color: Red

Eye Color: Purple

Height: 5'1 ft

Weight: 111 lbs

Tattoos: None

Bandages: None

Scars: On her arms, stomach, on her thighs

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"How... How could you do that to them..? Why.. you fucking tortured them.."

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Techniques/Info

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Stamina:

4/10

Jumping:

3/10

Strength:

5/10

Wisdom:

7/10

Charisma:

4/10

Wealth:

10/10

Intelligence:

7/10

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"God that gremlin really knows how to make someone suffer"

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Clothing

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Normal Clothing: Blue jacket with a black shirt and jeans with gray sneakers

Formal Clothing: Periwinkle dress with black flats

Pajamas: Light blue long sleeve shirt with black pj pants

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"I don't want to go through another universe again! I don't I don't I don't!"

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Health

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Sickness: None

Disorder: Complex PTSD, anxiety, depression

Cancer: None

Diseases: None

Weakness: Light and L

Allergies: None

Asthma: None

Disability: None

Fears: The people she cares about getting hurt or dying, crickets, what Anna's capable of, having to save another universe, Otoha burning down their house + squad house, being tortured again, and she has Thalassophobia + Gephyrophobia

Addiction: Alcohol (I think so?)

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"JUST SHUT UP! Aubrey died years ago when I made the deal. SHE'S GONE, SHE'S NOT ME, HASN'T BEEN ME, DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!"

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Personality aspects

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Normal Moods: Calm

Patient/Impatient: Both, depends on situation

Anger Management?: Slightly

Three good things about personality:

° Will always help those she cares about

° Caring

° Understanding

Three bad things of personality:

° Doesn't think of the consequences

° Doesn't listen to others

° Is a liar

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"If you don't give up the notebook, I'll off myself. I know you care about me a lot and you wouldn't want to see that happen, would you?"

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Relationships

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Mother: ??? Laylanen

Father: ??? Laylanen

Sister: Kaylee Laylanen

Brother: None

Partner(s): Light and L Laylanen-Yagami

Daughters: Yui, Nakano, and Hana Laylanen

Sons: Makoto Laylanen

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"I'D RATHER NOT HAVE YOU TRY LECTURE ME ON JUSTICE SINCE YOU BECAME A CRAZY MASS MURDERER!"

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Extra

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Backstory: When she was 15 she made a deal with a ghost girl that promised her she would be able to go to different universes, specifically the Death Note universe since it was her favorite anime. She later fails to save everyone in the 1st Death Note universe and figures out she can't go back home because that's her consequence for making the deal she did. Nicole then keeps trying to save Death Note universes up until the 17th one when she finally succeeds.

Home: 17th universe

Dislikes: Anna, being called “Aubrey”, people who hurt people she cares about

Likes: The boys, baking, writing, macaroni and cheese, pierogi, 

Voice Claim: Maaya Sakamoto (Japanese), Erika Harlacher [think of memoryless Kaede] (English)

Theme Playlist: Nicole's Themes

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"Sorry? You can't get a sorry! You just signed your life away over who knows what! The only way to get out of the deal is to give up your power which causes you to die and if you don't want to do that you're stuck living seeing everyone you've cared about die! Touka why the hell did you make a deal?!"

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Art Credits

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@virunathestarbaby

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"Excuse me but what fucking right do you have to be touching him like that?!"

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[smutandfluffohmy]

Homework extension

From: Smutandfluffohhmy Pairing: OUAT Peter Pan Professor! X Reader Warnings: Smuttt and overstimulation  A/N: I was listening to Yagami Yato’s Hawks pegging audio and 🥵🥵anyone have any pegging requests 👀? This is the long overdue professor smut that I wrote but then deleted it because I hated it so I rewrote it all ✋🏻 

University had its ups and downs and your English literature professor was definitely one of the ups. His British accent definitely made everyone swoon over him however the boring way he droned on every single class certainly cancelled out his hot accent.

His shoulders were broad, and he always radiated a sort of boyish charm but God the things you would do to him if you had 20 minutes alone with him. You slightly shook your head trying to erase the thoughts and tried focusing on something else. You couldn’t pry your eyes off him so instead you decided to focus on his tie.

He always wore ties with silly things on them. Sometimes they were just random shapes of different colors, other times they were full superhero comic strips but today it was a black tie with little oragami boats on them.

The lesson dragged on and you wanted nothing more than to crawl back into your warm bed instead of sitting inside a cold classroom. Your eyes shifted from him, to his tie, to the clock and to the book proped open in front of you in a continuous cycle.

“Remember to turn in your assignments today by midnight. See you all next class” Dr.Pan said and with that everyone hurried out of the classroom without a seconds pass. Grunts and whispering filled the once quiet classroom as you huffed making your way towards your car.

This years winter was hard and unforgiving and it was especially worse for you since you were used to more warm temperatures all year round. Hugging yourself tighter you couldn’t wait to be inside your car.

The radio droned on about the weather and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. You were new here ,knew nobody and were all alone if anything happened. Your mind wandered and before you knew it you were pulling up on your drive way.

The house wasn’t necessarily yours but your aunt let you stay there and house sit since she was always busy on business trips and both of your appreciated this temporary agreement .You eyed the houses next to yours and decided it was better now or never to finally introduce yourself to the neighbors. Your aunt didn’t tell you anything about the neighbors only that she has also never met them before.

Parking your car inside the garage you got to work on a gift of sort that would most definitely give you asking rights for a shovel next time you needed it. You got to baking your brownie turning off the heater as the kitchen radiated so much heat you felt like you were burning.Carefully cutting out each brownie you put them on two separate plates and made your way out to the cold once again.

Walking down the drive way you skipped your way to the first neighbors house and was treated with a nice old lady who profusely thanked you for the freshly baked brownies and told you she would drop off your plate as soon as she could.

‘One down one more to go’ You thought to yourself as you made your way to the other house, cursing as snow crept inside of your boot.

Inside the house Peter sighed pouring himself a glass of wine trying to relax from a long day of lecturing.The doorbell rang throughout the house, Peter sighed setting down his cup making his way to the door. You stood there looking up at your English professor. Your English professor who was wearing sweatpants and his button up shirt, half buttoned with a loosen tie. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Peter asked looking at you up and down trying to figure out the answer to his own question.

“Dr.Pan! Sorry I live next door I was just trying to meet my neighbors.” You said shifting the weight of the plate between your hands.

“You’re a little late how long have you’ve been living next door?” Peter said waving you inside.You walked inside grateful for getting out of the freezing weather even for a second. Your toes were freezing as the snow slid down your boot.

“Do you want a drink?” Peter asked you holding up the bottle of wine showing you what he was having. You nodded not wanting to be rude.

“Yes please professor and since the start of the semester” You said nodding at him and continued to look around his house that was filled with different house plants.

“Please call me Peter I'm your neighbor. Well at least outside of class.” He said handing you a glass, you took it afraid of dropping it. “You can take off your jacket at least defrost a bit.” He said looking for any excuse to get you inside. Truth be told you were one of his best students and wanted any excuse to keep you there a bit longer

“Thank you Pro-. Thank you Peter.” You said correcting yourself taking off your layers of wet clothes until you were left in a tank top and wet pants and socks.You continued to look around his house 

“Here you go.” Peter said handing you the cup. Smiling gratefully at him you walked towards him not noticing the things he left scattered on the floor.Falling forward you tried to regain your balance but your foot was caught on one of the various things Peter carelessly left scattered around. Waiting for the impact Peter caught you in his arms awkwardly still holding on to the cups your faces mere inches apart.

Both of you looking at the others lips and without a moment of hesitation both of you went in for the kiss. Peter placed the glasses on the counter as he picked you up carrying you off somewhere.

“The things I would do to you.” You mumbled between his pressed lips.

“Show me.” Peter said urging you on waiting to see what you were going to do. Probably a quick fuck and you’d be gone as soon as you came leaving him with the memory to jerk off later. The kiss deepened, Peter’s hands going under your shirt unhooking your bra, running a finger across your nipple. Your hands tugged his pants off of him and taking off your own pants as Peter continued to play with your nipples making you moan against his mouth.

Pushing him to sit down on the edge of the bed you dropped to your knees taking his dick in your hands slowly pumping it. Pre cum already dripping down the shaft.

Your tongue licked it up, the sensation made Peter twitch under your touch. Rubbing up and down softly sucking on his dick but not giving his enough to get off, his fingers gripping the edge of his bed. His dick was pulsing desperately wanting some friction.

“Enough with the teasing.” He said his toes curling. “I should just pick her up and fuck her senseless” Peter thought as his dick continued to twitch under your touch.But before he could do that you got to your feet.

“Get on your back” You said getting up and motioning for him to get on the bed all the way against the headboard. His dick so hard that he was sure that if you made him wait any longer he won't be able to last long.

“Come on let me cum.” He begged not wanting to move. Ignoring his pleas you pointed at the tie he still had on.

“Can I?” You asked pulling his tie from around his neck. Peter simply nodded intrigued as to what exactly you were going to do with it.Grabbing his hands and tying them to the headboard you gave it a good tug.

His hard and aching dick twitched every time you even stroked his hair. Getting ready to place yourself down on his dick Peter was already imagining how good you were going to feel around him.

“I’m so getting fired.” Peter mumbled out as he watched you lower yourself down.‘This is wrong’ He thought to himself, he wanted to get up and walk away from this but he imagined just how good you felt since you walked into class. He desperately urged himself to stop but what line was left to cross? He already kissed you, groped you, hell he was about to be balls deep inside of you

“I can stop if you want. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble.” You said leaning down to bite on his neck, sucking harshly on the delicate skin.

“No no no please.” Peter pleaded between moans cursing himself for not grabbing you and fucking you when he had the chance.

“Please what?” You said into his ear as you blew air on the already sensitive spot you were sucking on his neck, the sensation making chills go down his body making his dick jump. Bucking his hips he was desperate for any sort of friction, any sort of release.

“Please let me cum” He begged trying his best to reach out to you fighting against his tie. Grabbing Peter’s dick you positioned yourself to start sliding down his shaft. Peter letting out a mix of whimpers and moans and you started to bounce up and down his dick.

“You feel so good doctor” You said in a breathy voice as you felt his dick hit deep inside of you with every stroke.

“Fuck. Oh fuck” He cursed already feeling himself unable to hold back any longer.

“What happened to your no cursing rule?” You said making your strokes slower watching as Peter buckled his hips upward trying to meet you halfway. Sliding down slowly keeping your palms pressed against Peter’s hips preventing him from moving. 

Peter didn’t last long, coming inside of you leaving him to catch his breathe. His face flushed red embarrassed for cuming so quickly but before he could form an apology you kept going making his dick twitch again. 

“Fuck I can’t keep going” He mumbled out but he didn’t want this to end.

“You’re the one that begged to cum.” You said going down to continue leaving hickeys scattered around his neck. The sensation making his dick twitch again, feeling himself get hard again. Moans left his lips, moving up and down slowly giving Peter a chance to get hard again. After all of this he was still going to jack off the second you walked out the door, knowing you were next door made his imagination go crazy.

Bouncing up and down faster Peter moaned and grunted his eyes screwed shut at the feeling of you. 

“Don’t cum yet.” You ordered not slowly down, watching Peter’s pained expression watching him come undone under you.

“Please I’m so sensitive I can’t keep going.” He pleaded groaning trying his best not to cum.

“I said not yet.” You said going up and down slower, your fingers going through his hair giving it a light tugged that made a moan leave his mouth. 

“Pleaseee” Peter moaned trying to reach for you.

“Okay.” Was all you could say.

Your hand reached for your clit, your two fingers rubbing tight circles around your clit as you kept feeling Peter’s dick hit deep inside of you. Your nails dug into his skin your moans filling the room. Peters face flushed hot ‘I’m so getting fired for this’ he thought to himself. 

Reaching your climax you twitched around his dick, letting yourself slump down on his chest. Pushing yourself up, you reached over to untie him. Pushing away your hair that was stuck to your forehead with sweat you got up putting on your clothes.

“I Uu should get going.” You said putting on your pants.

“Wait are you sure? You can sleep over if you want” The words just stumbled out of Peter’s mouth and he felt a bit guilty for wishing you would agree to stay.

You tilted your head to the side looking at him in confusion. For a moment he forgot who you were, who he was, the relationship you two had outside these four walls but when he remembered his face turned a slight shade of pink.

“Right.” He mumbled under his breath as you continued to gather up your things trying to ignore your pounding heart.

Sighing you swallowed harshly as you looked to the windows that were covered in a thick layer of snow. Dreading the short walk back to your home and just how cold it was going to be when you got back, as you reached for the door knob a ring rang through the quiet house.

‘Weather warning’ flashed on your phone.

“Hold on for a second.” Peter said as he walked over to the Tv and turned it on, a blue hue filled his face as he flicked through the channels. 

‘Hope nobody was planning on going anywhere anytime soon! The roads and houses are covered in several feet of snow. Make sure to stay in doors and stay bundled up. This has been the weather with O’Warren back to you Jan.’ The weather man said, standing in front of a green screen with an oversized coat and a wide smile. You wanted the earth to eat you up, all you wanted is to go home and pretend you didn’t just sleep with your professor.

Shifting on your feet you reached for the doorknob trying your best to unlock the various locks on the door with your shaky and mitten covered hands.

“You know you’re welcomed to stay.” Peter said from behind you standing in the same place he was. Your heart pounded in your ears un sure what to do next. Scrunching up your nose you crossed your arms over your chest.

“That would be great but I have an assignment due today and my professor is a bit of a hard ass.” You said tugging at the bottom of your jacket.

Peter let out a loud laugh “Well fuck him.” he said with a goofy smile that made your heart jump.

“I did. Still don’t think I’d get an extension.” you shrugged your shoulders wanting desperately to be in a warm bed and at this point it didn’t matter whose. He let out another laugh and reached out to you urging you to stay.

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains (Updated) by DarkChild316

In a different time and a different world, I did a list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Villains”. I am older now, and hopefully much wiser and now thanks to the global pandemic and my new subscriptions to Hulu and Funimation I’ve had the opportunity to go back and revisit so many classic anime that I feel like I should re-do it. Plus I’ve gone back and looked at my previous list and shook my head thinking to myself: “My God man, what in the f**k were you thinking with some of these choices!” So, I’ve gone back and redone the list, now this list is strictly for the men only. If you want to see a list dedicated to my favorite female villains, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villainesses.” But for this list, here is my updated list of My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains:

#10. Shishiho Makoto (Rurouni Kenshin): Growing up as a kid, Ruroni Kenshin was one of the first anime I had ever watched, and this guy was someone who I hated with a passion. Looking back at it years later, I realize now what an amazing villain and foil to Kenshin that Makoto was. Unlike a lot of villains on this list, Makoto wasn’t just evil for the sake of being evil, Makoto’s evil came from the worst type of trauma: betrayal! In this case the betrayal came from Makoto’s own government, where Makoto survived not only multiple gunshots, but being doused in oil and burned alive, leaving him in complete and utter agony. What puts Shishio on my list is what he manages to do after surviving death. He compiles an army of the best fighters Japan has to offer and plots to overthrow the entire Meiji Government. While in complete agony. Who else can claim that? Did I also mention he’s topping the list of the best fighters in the show? His swordsmanship is second only to Kenshin himself as he proves in their absolutely epic fight.

#9. Hisoka Morrow (Hunter x Hunter): Hunter x Hunter is a show with several great villains that truly stand out, and while Meruem was memorable, pardon me for believing that Hisoka was the standout villain from that show. A devious killer and master Nen user, Hisoka is driven by little more than his desire to find and kill strong opponents. Be they young children or master criminals, he’ll pursue them to the ends of the Earth with a bloodlust on par with that of a wild predator. Likewise, he doesn’t care what happens to himself or others in this pursuit. Mass civilian casualties, the loss of his own villainous allies or even the loss of his own limbs barely phases him, so long as he gets to fight with someone that tests his limits. As a result, he more often than not embodies chaos incarnate, wreaking havoc in his pursuit of battle and leaving a mountain of corpses behind him. Needless to say, this puts him at odds with the series’ protagonists at regular intervals. Not only do Gon and his friends fit the bill for what he seeks, but they often take on enemies that prove to be exactly what Hisoka is looking for. And yet, this also serves to make him all the more interesting. Where other villains might strike out at the protagonists and heroes immediately, Hisoka schemes, allies himself with and double-crosses people regularly, always finding the best angle to work in order to reach his goals. He may not be a world-ending anime villain on the level of a Meruem with seismic ambitions, but he’s undeniably the most interesting and brilliant villain in Hunter x Hunter to see at work.

#8. Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!): If you think of a list of top anime villains and this guy isn’t one of the first people who comes to mind, please raise your hands so I can have a few words with you in private with no cameras or eyewitnesses. The crazy thing about Izaya is that he doesn’t even realize he’s evil, and that’s what makes him great. He loves humanity; from the depths of his bones he loves us all. This is why he makes it onto my list; he does progressively more cruel acts against humans, putting people in situations that generally lead to their deaths. He is also a master of parkour and highly skilled with a switchblade in his hand (as evident in the above picture), which he generally only uses in dire situations or fights against Shizuo. In short, I absoulutely love this guy. I thoroughly enjoyed the way he manages to manipulate an entire populous, and that’s why he’s more than earned a spot on my list.

#7. Dio Brando (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure): You might have thought it was someone else, but it was me, Dio! All meme-worthy jokes aside, Dio Brando is unquestionably one of the most iconic anime villains of all time and, thanks to his series’ late-blooming popularity outside of Japan thanks largely to the 2012 anime adaptation, one that still feels modern in our minds. Dio is a tenacious bastard that takes advantage of the generosity of the Joestar family to further his own power, being intolerably dickish to Jonathan by constantly tearing him down, trying to make him look bad in front of his dad, spreading rumors to sully his reputation, and sabotaging his relationships. This escalates into killing his dog (his f***ikg dog of all things!), poisoning and later stabbing his adoptive father (I mean WTF!), and becoming a freakin vampire. Even after decapitation, Dio gets his revenge and sets in motion many of the events of the series, making a formal return in Stardust Crusaders as the main villain once again. With raw ambition taken to the extreme, iconic lines, poses, and outfits, incredible abilities from Aztec mask-induced vampirism and the time-stopping power of The World, Dio’s menacing presence towers over his series and over anime as a whole, which makes him MORE than deserving of a spot on my list.

#6. Light Yagami (Death Note): Yes, he’s a VILLAIN, get over yourselves Light Yagami fanboys! Anyway, there are a number of different adjectives and superlatives that could be used to described the lead character of Death Note: Diabolical, calculating, and determined to make the world in his own image all describe Light who was easily the most clever man in  Death Note, as evidenced by the layers upon layers that composed his elaborate plans.  Light started out as a good kid, doing well in school and heading to a bright career in police work like his father. But when he gets possession of the death note, he begins a remarkable descent into a disturbing mastermind who becomes judge, jury, and executioner for the entire world. But what truly makes Light's character stand out remains complicated throughout the story. His ultimate goal is to make the world a happier, safer place; a noble but perhaps misguided goal. His idealism and nobility still shine through when he doesn’t have the Death Note. When he temporarily relinquishes ownership of the death note to throw L off his trail, Light loses all memory of the death note and he reverts to his normal personality. His sense of morality returns and he shows more compassion for those around him. He even refuses to use Misa Amane to get information out of her when L asks him to. These qualities help to create a complex character who ends up being a detestable villain, yet you still kind of root for him to come out of this story as a winner. Light’s progression through the series is marked by his sheer brilliance. He's got a calculated and strategic mind that would make the great philosopher Machiavelli jealous, and the power of the death note adds a callousness that makes him free to use people in whatever way necessary to accomplish his goals. It’s highly entertaining to see his intricate plans play out. But Light’s messiah-like ego is just as big as his brain, and that arrogance ultimately leads to his tragic downfall.

#5. The Major (Hellsing): An evil Nazi Scientist, I know everyone is just rolling their eyes right now thinking I’m reaching for the low-hanging fruit for this one, but just hear me out here. While he may seem like an obvious pick for a list like this, The Major’s goals, however, are somehow far more unhinged than what may first appear. Despite being an impassioned orator and uncompromising strategist willing to sacrifice countless soldiers, the Major himself had no especial loyalty or passion for the cause of Millennium. His sole obsession is to plunge the world into an unending conflict to the point of endangering not only the lives of others but also his own. The Major’s leadership of Millennium, his decades espousing the genocidal ideology of fascists, and subsequent war against the Hellsing organization, the Vatican, and the entire world serve only as a pretext to satiate his insatiable bloodlust. The Major is one of anime’s most insidious villains, a charismatic, nihilistic sociopath driven purely by his sadomasochistic death wish.

#4. Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist): Now, you may be recalling that in my previous version of this list, I had Envy listed as my choice as my favorite villain from this show. Well after careful reconsideration, I’ve had to reevaluate my decision and give that spot to this creep, because while Envy’s actions were despicable to a point, they PALE in comparison to this guy! He only really appears in one episode if I remember correctly, yet in that one single episode, he made more of an impact then most villains make in a lifetime, which really says a lot about this guy’s character. What was it that made him so memorable you ask? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that this man transmutaed his own dog and daughter to create a talking chimera, which hadn’t been done before, and for what other reason…all in the name of recognition in the world of alchemy! That mere fact alone made this guy the most hated man in all of anime, the fact that he sacrificed his own family for the sake of fame, with absolutely no hint of remorse, made this guy the definition of an absolute living piece of shit and the only thing worse is how the episode ended, but I won’t spoil that one for you if you haven’t seen it.

#3. Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Up next is a man competing with the likes of Medusa Gorgon for the title of “Anime’s Worst Parent”, Gendo Ikari, please step up to the front of the congregation. Now Gendo is a man who’s list of atrocities throughout Evangelion is far too many to name, but I’m going to try my best to list them here: You have being actively complicit in the premature instigation of a biblical apocalypse, resulting in a near extinction-level event that caused the death of nearly two-thirds of the human population. Emotionally neglecting his own son Shinji estranging himself from him for over twelve years, only to offer him up as a sacrificial pawn in his bid to artificially bootstrap humanity’s ascent into evolutionary godhood so that he could be reunited with his dead wife. Cloning said wife’s DNA into a harem of emotionally dependent albino ingenues who share a dogged infatuation for their creator. And that’s not even mentioning the horrific emotional abuse and mental manipulation he inflicts on Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her mother Naoko. All-in-all Gendo is proof positive that love not only has the capacity to overcome any obstacle, but sometimes it can truly make monsters out of us all.

#2. Griffith (Berserk): Griffith did nothing wrong; at least, not by his own drives and ambitions. A peasant who grew to become the leader of his own mercenary band, Griffith was a self-driven man who pursued his desires with unparalleled efficiency. No matter the situation or obstacle, he found a way to overcome them, whether that meant facing down an army of thousands or assassinating a country’s leaders. All the while, he amassed a legion of friends and followers who would follow him to hell and back, caring for him as much or more than he cared for them. As a result, they were dragged down with him when his ambitions saw him imprisoned, tortured and maimed. They cared little though, risking life and limb to save him and help him salvage a life with what he had left. That wasn’t enough for Griffith though. When given the option to become a demon and continue the pursuit of his dreams, he whole-heartedly accepted it; even though it came at the cost of sacrificing the lives of each and every one of his friends and allies. But that wasn’t the worst of it, to further spite the early desertion of Guts, Griffith proceeds to rape Casca, Guts’ love interest, in front of him as Guts is held down by demons. So yes, Griffith did nothing wrong by himself. By everyone else though, he did them the worst of injustices, and continues to do so with each breath he takes, all of which makes him a compelling and infuriating villain.

#1. Johan Liebert (Monster): I’ve covered a wide variety of monsters (pun fully intended) on this list, but THIS monster (again, pun FULLY intended) truly takes the cake when it comes to anime villains. A serial killer who would fit in well in any blockbuster film, Monster told the story of a man who had truly become monstrous; a charismatic, intelligent sociopath with no other goal than to kill everyone else in the world. Johan didn't just kill people, he made other people into monsters just like him. This skill of his corruption is first displayed in his youth, when he used stories to convince the other boys in his orphanage to kill all the staff, and each other. Johan is often compared to Light Yagami of Death Note, but the two couldn’t be any more different. Light's fatal (and genius) flaw is his own ego, which leads him to put his own life above all else, even his goal of changing the world. But Johan has never been afraid of death. Quite the opposite, he welcomes and embraces it, being more than willing to put his own life at risk, and one of his signature traits is how he challenges people to shoot him. Another of Jonah’s signature traits is his skills as a masterful manipulator. Where Light and other on this list had to resort to supernatural means to get what they wanted, Johan just used his own wits and knowledge of human nature. He's easily the most frightening villain on this list because he’s the truest to life villain on this list and he exposes the base human nature of his victims and of human society. Monster's remarkable story was almost entirely due to Johan alone, and it’s why he’s #1 on my list.

So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime villains are. See you soon!!!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[shotokimchi]

What If?

Summary: Everyone can fall in love, falling for Bakugo gave you a hard time but when you learned that he felt the same, it was too late. Because you were already married.

WARNINGS: +18 SMUT SMUT SMUTTTT! and a lot of Angst.

Note: Kiri called you pebble, did ya’ll see what i did there, nah? ok... (Yagami Yato stans where u at *cough cough*)

“Y/n L/n, will you marry me?” Tears started to well up in your eyes the love of your life, Eijiro Kirishima was on his right knee with a black box in his hand, asking you to be his partner for the rest of his life. Eijiro was the kind of man that every woman would want in her life and you felt so lucky for that. It was your birthday, so Eijiro promised to take you out to dinner and when you got to the restaurant you noticed that bakusquad was there too, waiting for the both of you. After having dinner with your friends and your boyfriend, everyone gave you their presents and Eijiro suddenly stood up and read you his speech it was sweet but he started to get sentimental and it made you emotional as well. He held you by the hand and started to tell how he was so in love with you then in an instant he was on his right knee... “Y-y/n?...” Eijiro's voice woke you up from your thoughts, and you realized you still haven't given him a straight answer. He was starting to panic and you quickly smiled. “S-sorry, i...i’m just so happy Eiji.” he gave a sigh of relief and looked at you with those beautiful ruby eyes. “Yes, a million times yes...”  Eijiro jumped to his feet and hugged you with his strong arms “Wohoo!” Mina popped a bottle of champagne. Sero and Kaminari screamed with joy, but there was someone who kept quiet all night and his name was Katsuki Bakugou. When it came to Katsuki, you'd rather shut up. He was the kid you liked in high school. Even after you finished high school, you continued to love him, and your whole college life was about trying to forget about him.

You were sure Katsuki didn't have anything to do with you, he was very strong and had goals, love wasn't his area of interest so you gave up on your one-sided love and decided to see Katsuki as a friend. After Katsuki, things were getting better. You realized how thoughtful and wonderful Eijiro was, and after a long time, you started believing in love again. 

*Flashback*

“Come on Y/n! This is gonna be our first time attending to a college party!” Mina was trying to persuade you to go to a party hosted by an upperclassmen and after 20 minutes of trying, she was successful. Jirou had bought you a sexy dress and Mina was ready to do your hair. You were so lucky to have Mina and Jiro. They were the only ones who knew about your feelings towards Katsuki and they always supported you. They also knew about your new feelings towards Eijiro and they were giving their all to help. You weren’t in love with Eijiro, at least not yet. Everything was happening so fast, after finishing high school and trying to forget everything about Katsuki you were only focusing on your training and your grades. Your new blossoming relationship with Eijiro was exciting, it was just a little crush nothing big.

-

“This place is on fire, lets dance!” Mina started swaying her hips and Jiro joined her on the dance floor, after complaining for fifteen minutes, you started dancing with your friends and for a short while you forgot everything that bothered you.  Mina found you a cup of beer and the three of you started drinking. “I think i saw Kaminari and Sero!” Jirou shouted bc of the loud music and Mina wiggled her eyebrows “That means Kirishima is here too! Lets go show him your dress Y/n, you look sexy and im sure he is gonna fall for you!” You covered your face with your hands and Mina laughed then you started to feel dizzy, you werent a heavy drinker after all but the feeling of the beat and the alcohol in your veins was urging you to dance some more, then your back collided with a toned one and the smell of caramel flooded your senses, your heartbeat quickened. You knew that smell very well but you didnt wanted to turn around and confirm it. Then you felt his hands on your hips “Katsuki...?” He rested his chin on your shoulder and the both of you started to move with a slow pace. “...Short dress.” It was obvious, he was drunk. But it wasnt impossible to form a conversation so you asked “My dress?” He nodded. “Why are you here Katsuki? I didnt knew that you were a party person.” He scoffed “Dunce face forced me to come here.” You smiled at the nickname that he used for Kaminari, he was the same Katsuki, it didnt matter if he was in high school or college. He was the same... So forgetting your feelings for him was the best desicion you have ever made. “Where is Kirishima?” He raised his head and you turned to meet his eyes but your nose touched his and a slight tinge of pink dusted your cheeks, you didnt knew if it was bc of the alcohol or not “He’s not here.” He answered but started to lean closer and closer... Then his lips were on yours, it was slow but hot then his tounge licked your bottom lip and your mouth opened, welcoming his tounge. “Lets get out of here...” He sighed into your mouth and you nodded. You didnt care about anything else, everything around you was about Bakugou. The smell of caramel, the warmth of his hands, you always wanted to feel him, always wanted to touch him. The house was big so Bakugou dragged you towards the stairs and both of you clumsily reached the 2nd floor, he opened one of the doors and when the both of you got in, he immediately locked it. There was a clean bed, it was untouched. He yanked off his black dress shirt and pushed you onto the bed, his lips crashed with yours and he earned a moan from you, that excited him even more, his hands found the hem of your dress and rough scarred hands slowly made their way towards your thighs. “Do you want this?” His crimson eyes took your breath away, his gaze was so intense and you only managed to nod. You wrapped your arms around his neck and inhaled his scent “I wanted you for so long...” That took him by surprise but he didnt took it seriously bc you were drunk. He really wanted to believe your words, he liked you for so long but didnt said anything bc of his goals and all he just didnt wanted to got distracted. On top of that, he was terrible when it came to expressing his feelings to someone else, especially to you since he was crazy about you but everything was going to be okay bc he was going to confess to you tonight. “Same here.” Your breath hitched in your throat, he wanted you too? No, this couldnt be true, he was saying this stuff bc he was drunk, just like you. “Katsu... come on.” The nickname made his heart pound, he started to leave open mouthed kisses on your jawline and he nipped at your neck, when you mewled into his ear he bit down, hard. “A-ah, Katsu...” Then he licked the abused spot and found the zipper on your back, when his eyes met with your matched lingerie set, he smirked “Naughty girl~” Licking your collarbone, he threw the dress onto the floor and unbuckled his belt. His grey boxer felt tight around his crotch, his long fingers found the wet spot that formed on your panties “Someone’s getting excited~” You averted your gaze and he grabbed your chin “Keep your eyes on me Y/n.” He slowly took of your panties and slid his index finger into your core, you gave a pleasant sigh and started to buck your hips he was relieved, even though he looked confident the last thing he wanted you to feel was pain, his thumb found your clit and you cried out. “F-faster, Katsuki!” His smirk widened and he added his middle finger and quickened the pace. “You are holding onto my fingers for dear life, sexy~” Your thighs started to shake then it came crashing down on you, with a loud moan you came around his fingers. You were panting and trying to get yourself together then you saw his fingers, he was playing with your juices “See this Y/n?” He shoved them into his mouth and sucked them clean, your body was on fire. “Get on all fours baby.” He ordered and you placed yourself on your elbows and knees, he pushed your waist onto the mattress. For a moment there was silence so you opened your mouth wanting more from him but a harsh smack landed on your ass. “Ah!” You shouted and buried your face into the pillow “Thats it baby, let me hear you!” Then he activated his quirk and landed a smack onto the other one. “K-katsuki!” Then he checked the drawers of the nightstand and luckily managed to find a condom package. Then you felt it, his tip was pressing into your entrance “Y/n, are you ready?” His breath was erratic and the both of you were so excited “Yeesh~” You moaned out and he chuckled, then with a swift move, he pushed every inch of him into your tight cunt. You screamed and he started to thrust with a stable pace “Feels good...” He managed to breath out and started to quicken his pace. The both of you were moaning like horny animals and the sound of slapping skin was filling the room “K-katsu please, faster!” Your moans and pleas only boosted his ego and he let out a pleased growl “Scream for me!” Then he thrusted into you with full force and it made you shove your face into the pillow, your moans got louder and louder, then your fingers found your clit and drew messy circles. Then he yanked you towards him and pressed your back to his chest, he squeezed your mounds and nipped at your neck “Katsuki, oh god!” Then you came around him and his thrusts turned messy “Fuck Y/n, fuck fuck FUCK-” with the last thrust, he came and both of you panted. He layed onto his back and pulled you to his chest, after gaining his composure he started to talk “Y/n i- damn it, i like you for years now and fuck- even if you tell me to fuck off i just wanted you to know.” He closed his eyes and prepared hisself for rejection but the only thing he heard was your light snoring so he sighed with dissapointment. “When the morning comes, i’ll tell you.”

-

But he couldnt, bc when he woke up, you were gone. After that night, the energy between you and Katsuki was very strange, you were always avoiding him, and Katsuki chose to leave you alone. After two weeks of avoiding Katsuki and getting advice from Jirou and Mina, you decided to give him a call and talk things out. You felt disgusting, leaving and avoiding him, doing things like this while starting to feel some things for Eijiro... But you and Eiji weren’t a thing so it was not a crime is it? Yes, it was a crime but for you. Loyalty was so important to you and here you were, gettin drunk and having sex with your old crush.

-

Katsuki was in the living room while Kirishima was making some protein shake, Kaminari and Sero were out meeting with some of their old friends. Kirishima noticed the weird atmosphere between you and Katsuki but didnt wanted to talk about it since you avoided the topic several times and Katsuki just told him to ‘fuck off’ he wasn’t offended, this was Katsuki’s way of expressing his emotions and they were best friends, so Kirishima decided to give him some space. When he finished preparing his protein shake aka ‘KIRISHAKE’ he walked towards the living room and saw Katsuki, looking out of the window with a thoughtful look on his face. “Whats up bro?” Katsuki turned and looked at his best friend and immediately felt bad, he was still smiling and doing everything he could to make Katsuki feel better even if he was acting like a jerk for two weeks. “Tch, you blind? Im sitting.” Kirishima laughed and a soft smile appeared on Katsuki’s face, he was so lucky to have Kirishima by his side, he hated himself for laying with the crush of his best buddy but he couldnt help it, he loved you too, no matter how many times he told himself to forget about you, it wasnt working. The guilt felt heavy on his shoulders bc today, Eijiro was supposed to took you on a date but you called him and postponed it and told him that you were supposed to see your relatives. “So Bakubro, lets play Mortal Combat!” Kiri’s voice woke him up from his thoughts and he nodded, but just when he was about to grab the console, his phone buzzed in his pocket. There was a message, from you. His eyes popped out of their sockets and he got up from his seat. “Bro?” Kirishima was looking at him with a confused expression “Wait here.” Katsuki dashed towards his shared room with Kirishima and slammed the door shut, he immediately unlocked his phone and read your message.

Y/n: Katsuki, can we talk? Im gonna send you a location of where i am, please come.

After wearing his grey sweatpants, he checked his appereance and immediately grabbed the keys of his car, just when he was about to open the door of the shared apartment Eijirou’s voice stopped him in his tracks “Bakugou, where are you going?” Kiri had a worried expression on his face and Bakugou’s stomach twisted with anxiety. “The old hag just messaged me, uh... I should leave.” Kiri grabbed his arm and Katsuki tensed “Bro, if something is wrong let me help.” At this point, Katsuki wanted to punch himself in the face, instead of gettin suspicious, Kirishima was still concerned about his wellbeing. Katsuki sighed and shook his head “I’ll tell you later, Kirishima.” Then he left.

-

You were sitting on a bench, playing with your fingers, waiting for Katsuki to come. For these two weeks you couldn't look Kirishima in the eye, you were disgusted with yourself, and you hated yourself for ignoring Katsuki. You’ve had enough so figuring things out with Katsuki was going to be your first attempt to fix things. Then you spotted a black car and immediately recognized it, it belonged to Katsuki. Then the front door of the car opened and you eyed his muscular figure, he was flawless. He spotted you and hesitated, then you gave a small smile, he relaxed and slowly approached you. “Hey.” you breathed out and he sat at the opposite side of the bench, then he gave a small nod. After some minutes of silence, he decided to break it “You said you wanted to talk?” You slightly jumped and turned towards him, he was already looking towards your direction so your e/c eyes met with his crimson ones. “Katsuki, i....i’m sorry.” When he didnt give a response, you took that as a sign to continue “I didnt wanted to ignore you but... i felt disgusting.” Then you saw something flash in his eyes, was that hurt? “D-dont get me wrong! I was disgusted with myself, it doesnt have anything to do with you...” His eyes softened and eyed your tired form, all he wanted to do was confess his feelings but just when he was about to open his mouth, your voice started to shake “You know that Eijirou and i are growing closer and... I felt disgusting because, i-i love him.” His heart stopped beating and after all these years, Katsuki Bakugou felt like crying. “You love him?” He asked and you hesitated, you were feeling some things towards Eijiro but... Was it love? It should be, right? “Y-yeah.” Then he remembered the thing you said at the party, when you were alone in one of the rooms. *I wanted you for so long...* So you told him that just bc you were drunk... “I see.” His voice cracked and he quickly stood up. “Lets forget about it.” Your eyes started to fill with tears and you only managed to nod. Your heart felt heavy and you felt like the same Y/n in high school, the one who was in love with Katsuki Bakugou. You forced a fake smile and nodded “Yeah, lets forget about it.”

-

After your conversation with Bakugou, he distanced himself. You wanted to talk with him, you wanted to be friends but you didnt wanted to force him. On the other hand, Eijiro took you out on several dates and you were falling in love with him but this time, it was real. Shortly after, Eijiro asked you to be his girlfriend and you happily agreed. You and Eijiro were so happy and everything seemed fine, but your best friend Mina was trying to make sense of Bakugo's strange attitude. As much as you didn't wanted to believe it, she claimed several times that Bakugou could have a crush on you. Mina wasnt satisfied so she decided to talk with Bakugo, she talked with Jirou and after getting her support, she dialed Katsuki’s number. Luckily, he answered.

Katsuki: “What do you want, Pinky?”

Mina: “Hey Bakugou! Its nice to hear your voice. Can we talk?”

Katsuki: “Hurry up Pinky, i need to go for a run.”

Mina: “No i mean, face to face.”

Bakugou sighed, he was running out of patience but judging from Mina’s serious tone, he knew it was important.

Katsuki: “Whatever.”

Mina: “Great! Let’s meet at the cafe that we used to go when we were in high school. I’m already on my way, see ya.”

-

“Bakugou, right here!” Mina waved, she was sitting at the corner with a cup of coffe in her hands. Bakugou scoffed but walked towards her and sat down. He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he was nervous. Mina immediately sensed his anxiety “Dont be nervous Bakugo, im your friend.” Bakugou’s eyes slightly widened but he quickly recovered. “What do you want Pinky?” Mina sighed and nodded “Listen, you are acting strange Bakugou whenever we are hanging out, you’re less talktive end energetic than usual.” Bakugou tched “You are making zero sense.” Mina raised a brow and smirked “You are my friend, i know you well enough. Everyone noticed the changes in your behaviour, Kaminari and Sero are worried especially Eijiro.” Bakugou kept silent and Mina decided to ask the main question “Bakugou, whenever you saw Y/n you always make an excuse to leave or keep quiet. Did you guys had a fight?” Bakugou panicked and his eyes met Mina’s worried ones. He shook his head “Nothing happened, idiot.” Mina’s suspicion was growing “Bakugou do you have a... um, i dont know how to say this. Do you have feelings for Y/n?” Bakugou jumped in his seat and knocked the coffe cup that was sitting on the table. “What the hell Racoon Eyes?!” His heart was pounding like crazy, was it too obvious? Mina’s eyes softened, he was in love. “Bakugou, its ok. Everyone can fall in love, even you.” Bakugou growled “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Mina giggled and her expression turned serious “Bakugou, Eijiro is my friend but you are too. But... to be honest, im so mad at you, arent you supposed to be an observer?” Bakugou was confused, so he continued to listen “Y/n... She was in love with you for 4 years.” Bakugou’s breath hitched in his throat, every bone in his body were shaking. You were feeling the same? No. It was in the past... But was there hope? Mina’s expression changed to a pained one, she was readin him like an open book “Bakugou no, you are too late. She is already in love with Eijiro, so dont ruin their relationship, Eijiro loves her.” And with that, she stood up and gave him a small smile, Katsuki’s mind was racing, he didnt wanted to believe the fact that you were over him. He immediately stood up, get into his car and started to drive towards the agency you were working at. When he arrived, he confessed everything to you and made things worse, your heart was screaming for Eiji but it was aching, what if you confessed at high school? Would things be the same? You cried and before you knew it, his arms were around you. Silent tears fell from his eyes, everything came crashing down on him. Pain, guilt, longing... “Katsuki, we’re too late...” It was like a whisper but he managed to hear it and his arms tightened their hold around you “Y/n...”

*End of flashback*

Eijiro was driving the car while singing happily to one of his favourite songs, his one hand was on the steering wheel while the other one was resting on your thigh. “Thanks for tonight, baby.” You leaned and planted a kiss on his cheek, he laughed “You missed my lips babe!” You started to laugh and grabbed his hand. “I’m so lucky to have you, Eiji.” 

-

“Eiji, i cant find the keys.” You were looking for the keys of your shared apartment then Eiji chuckled and you turned to look at him. “Are you looking for these?~” You pouted and tried to reach for the keys “Thats sneaky!” He laughed and his other hand grabbed you by the waist, your chest collided with his and a lustful look clouded his face. Your breathing was starting to get heavier, he leaned towards you and closed the distance, the kiss was sweet at first but it turned to something steamy and rough. “Ei~” You moaned into his mouth and he opened the door “Jump, pebble~” you hopped and wrapped your legs around his waist. He was nipping at you earlobe while walking towards the bedroom. He gently placed you onto the bed and just when he was about to take of his black dress shirt, you stopped him. “Take a seat, Red Riot. Let me take care of you~” He sat onto the bed and separated his legs. You massaged his thighs and started to unbuckle his belt, when your hand brushed against his crotch, he hissed and it made you smirk. When you got rid off his pants, his erection was poking through his underwear. “Dont tease me pebble come on~” He moaned out and you started to stroke him with a slow pace, just when he was about to tell you to go faster, you took him into your mouth. His precum left a salty taste in your mouth, after circling the tip with your tounge, you started to bob your head with a steady pace. “Oh, Y/n...” He gave a pleased sigh then started to move his hips. His right hand started to massage your scalp and slowly gripped your h/c locks. “You are amazing, pebble~” Then his hips started to move faster and it made you gag around him. “Just like that, oh- Y/n, look at me.” Your teary eyes met his lustful ones and he growled “Beautiful, so beautiful...” It only got rougher, he was  fucking your face in a merciless way. “I’m c-coming Y/n!” Your moans vibrated around his cock and with a powerful thrust he spilled everything in your mouth. You swallowed and opened your mouth to show him what you did, waiting for his praise. He chuckled, his thumb started to stroke your puffy lips. “You did such a great job, baby girl~” Then he layed onto his back and you crawled towards him, You sat onto his semi-hard member and started to grind your hips. Your panties were soaked, after throwing your dress onto the floor you unhooked your bra and Eiji’s hands immediately found their way to your breasts. “You are so wet, pebble~” Your load moans were like music to his ears. “Ei~ please...” He pushed your panties to the side and started to draw some firm circles around your clit. “Ei, i want you...” He smirked and the tip of his member started to push into you “Ride me, baby girl.” You sinked down onto his member and his hips started to buck. You placed your hands onto his firm chest and started to bounce with a fast pace. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck-” Your eyes were closed shut, the only words that leaving your mouth were some curses. “You’re clenching down on me Y/n, fuck-” Eijiro started to thrust from below and your movements got faster and faster, it was unbearable you wanted to cum so bad. Eijiro’s fingers were drawing messy circles around your swollen bud. A weird feeling enveloped you but you paid no mind and continued to bounce on your lover. “S-something’s coming, Ei!” Eiji interwined his fingers with yours and moaned encouragin words “Its okay baby, c-come on~” Then everything turned white and you screamed “E-eijiro!”, your juices coated his member “H-holy fuck, you just squirted! So sexy~” Then he gave some sloppy thrusts and came inside of you, painting your walls with white strings of cum. Both of you panted and you collapsed on top of him, his arms wrapped around you and Eijiro kissed your temple. “I love you, pebble.” A soft smile crept its way onto your face and you replied “I love you too.”

-

“I dont wanna do it, im so scared!” You werent feeling so well and decided to call your friends, Mina and Jirou. You were having terrible stomach aches and you were always getting dizzy, you just thought that it wasnt important but Mina and Jirou said something that made your heart stop. “No, what is you’re pregnant?!” Mina replied. Even though you said you didn't need to take the pregnancy test, they were not convinced. “Y/n, we are concerned about your well being” Jirou took your hands in hers and gave you a soft smile, sighing you grabbed the test and walked towards the bathroom. Your hands were shaking, what if you were really pregnant? Well, you always wanted to build a family with Eijiro but you guys werent even married, he was already busy with hero work and working on wedding preparations only made things harder for him. You didnt wanted to him to get stressed over the baby, what if he didnt wanted to have kids? What if he leaves you? Tears started to well up in your eyes and you took a look at the pregnancy test and when you did, your heart stoppped beating. There were two pink lines, it was positive. Your legs gave up on you and loud sobs were bouncing on the walls, your friends heard you and rushed in. “Y/n are you okay?!” Mina shouted and they saw your shaking form. Jirou quickly embraced you and tried to whisper calming things “It’s okay Y/n, everything is gonna be okay...” Your nails started to dig into her shirt and tears soaked her shoulder. Mina crouched down and started to draw calming circles on your back, “It’s okay just cry and try to relax.” Your paranoia scared you even more, you didnt wanted Eiji to leave you, he was the love of your life, your tears continued to fall like little raindrops. “Wh-what if he leaves me, i love him s-so much...” Both of the girls stopped their movements and shared a sad look, Eijiro was a good guy, he would never leave someone behind, especially the love of his life... Jirou took a deep breath and patted your had “No, im sure he’s gonna get surprised but Eijiro is not a cruel guy, its the exact opposite.” Mina nodded and tried to cheer you up “Yeah! He loves you as much as you love him, dont stress yourself with these kind of thoughts, its not healthy for the baby!” Your sobs turned into quiet whimpers and sniffles. “Lets choose a movie and have some ice cream!” Mina suggested and Jirou nodded, a small smile appeared on your face and the girls sighed with relief “Y-yeah, lets do that.”

-

When the night came, the anxiety made its way to your stomach. Eijiro was still working and you were trying to think about a way tell him that you got pregnant. Then you heard the front door and started to take deep breaths. “Baby, im home!” Eijiro’s tired but happy voice broke your heart, he was working too hard. Then you felt muscular arms around your waist and a muscular chest pressed itself to your back. “I got a call from your agency, why didnt you go to work?” When you kept silent, Eijiro started to get worried and tightened his hold on you “Y/n?” Your body started to shake, you couldnt wait any longer, it was eating you up inside. “Ei-eijiro” He started to pepper your neck with kisses “Tell me what happened baby, you can tell me anything.” You took a shaky breath and managed to croak out a “I’m pregnant.” When he didnt give you an answer, panic started to well up inside of you and you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing yourself for the worst. “W-what, are you serious?” You nodded and waited, it was over. But instead, his arms squeezed you tighter and he buried his face into the crook of your neck. “I... love you so much Eijiro. If you want to leave, then-” He cut you off “No! We did this together and im staying with you until the end, i know that its too early for a kid, we are about to get married but that doesnt mean that im gonna give up on our child!” His words squeezed your heart and you hated yourself for questioning his love and loyalty. You turned around and faced him, when he eyed your shaking form his eyes softened and he pulled you in a sweet meaningful kiss. “I love you Y/n and only you.” Your arms wrapped around his neck and you took a whiff of his scent “Thank you for always being with me, Eijiro.” This was your fiancé, Kirishima Eijiro. The sweetest man on earth.

-

When the weekend came, Eijiro left the house to meet with the boys of the ‘bakusquad’. He was going to share with his friends that Y/n was pregnant, he was very excited but nervous at the same time. He knew that his friends would never judge him but this was something different, he was going to be a father. When he got to the bar, he saw his friends sitting at the usual table, drinking and chatting. “Hey guys, having fun without me?” Denki and Sero welcomed him with a wide grin while Bakugou acknowledged his best friend with a nod. Kirishima sat down and after having a glass of beer, he decided to bring the ‘important topic’ to the table. “So, uh... You guys know that Y/n and i are getting married soon.” Denki dramatically sighed “Man, dont rub it on our face like that, we know that we are lonely as hell~” Sero laughed and Bakugou rolled his eyes. Kirishima chuckled and started to scratch his neck “The thing is, uh...” Bakugou raised a brow and started to observe his best friend, why was he nervous? “Just spit it out, shitty hair.” Sero raised a brow and eyed his redheaded friend “You okay man? You guys didnt get in a fight, right?” Kirishima shook his head and sighed “No, its just... Y/n uh she-” With the mention of your name, Bakugou gave all of his attention to Kirishima. “Y/n is pregnant.” Kaminari choked on his drink and Sero’s brain was having a hard time with processing his friends words. Bakugou’s heart shattered to pieces, he knew that he had lost you completely when you said yes to Kirishima but hearing the fact that you were pregnant was wrecking him. Before he could even think, his mouth opened by itself and let out a “What the fuck?” Kirishima looked hurt and Kaminari interfered “Wow wow okay, we know that you are surprised bro we all are but that was kinda rude.” Sero patted Kirishima on the shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look “How are you guys handling the situation?” Kirishima licked his lips and sighed “Well we didnt expect something like this to happen but im gonna be there for her.” There was gentleness in his words and Sero smiled “She is lucky to have you, Kirishima.” Bakugou clenched his teeth, Sero was right. Kirishima had something that he didnt, gentleness. Denki smirked and tried to lighten up the mood “You guys are pretty active huh~?” With that, Kirishima’s face turned red just like his hair “K-kaminari!” Bakugou didnt wanted to think the things that you and Kiri were doing, he didnt wanted to imagine you laying in Eijiro’s arms. “A-aren’t you gonna say something, Bakubro?” Kirishima’s question caught him off guard and he saw the pleading look in Kiri’s eyes. He wanted to hear his opinion, Kiri always came to Bakugou for advice and this time it wasnt any different. “Didnt mean to sound rude. Congrats, weird hair.” Kirishima gave him a soft smile “Thanks bro.” Katsuki’s eyes softened, he couldnt stay mad at you or Kirishima, you guys were in love after all and it was going to happen sooner or later.

-

After that, you and Kirishima quickly got married, all of your friends attended to the wedding even Mr.Aizawa was there, you were so happy and Katsuki slowly accepted the fact that you were now his best friends wife.You were in the 4th month of your pregnancy and Eijiro forced you to take a break from hero work. The bump in your tummy was visible but you were still going on walks to stay healthy, Katsuki was visiting you and bringin you some stuff for the baby, you didnt asked for it and seeing him regularly was weird but you two managed to grow closer and closer. It was just like in high school, joking and laughing together... Even he was so busy with hero stuff, he was trying to pay you a visit. Kirishima was so happy that the love of his life and his best friend was getting along well just like it was used to be. It was a regular day for you as usual, waking up, going for a run then taking a quick shower, reading your favourite book and baking some delicious cookies for your husband and friends. After baking some delicious chocolate chip cookies, you devorated them on a plate and left them on the kitchen island for later. It was already 3:00 pm so you decided to watch a movie but the knock on your door stopped you. “Coming!” Eijirou, Bakugou and the girls were still at work so you wondered who decided to visit you this early, when you opened the door, you saw the hotheaded blond with grocery bags in his hands “Katsu?!” The nickname you used always had an effect on him. “What are you doing here, arent you supposed to be at work?!” He rolled his eyes and smirked “What, you arent gonna let me in?” He was always teasing you and you were always falling for it, he loved the expressions that you made. “N-no, ofc not Bakugou, i love your company!” You moved to the side and he took off his shoes, just when you were about to take the bags from his hands, he scoffed “Dont lift heavy things.” You smiled and nodded, “I made chocolate chip cookies, want some?” He rolled his eyes “Geez Y/n, you are consuming too much sugar.” You chuckled and ushered him to the kitchen. You made some tea and handed him a mug, the both of you sat with comfortable silence. “So Ground Zero, mind telling me why you wanted to pay a visit this early?” Hearing his hero name from you, made his heart flutter. “Just finished some paperwork and wanted to see how you’re doing.” Your cheeks grew warmer and you gave him a goofy smile “Awww, thank you Katsu!” He averted his eyes and tried to blush on his cheeks, these four months were so hard for him, you were right in front of him but it felt so far away. He wanted to tell how he felt and he was going to do it. “Y/n, we need to talk.” You took a sip from your mug and nodded “Sure Katsu, you can tell me anything.” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen Y/n, this isnt something easy to talk about, do you remember the night we had, while we’re in college?” Your eyes widened and memories from your past started to cloud your mind “W-what are you trying to say, Katsuki?” He sighed and looked at you with sad eyes. “Y/n im in love with you. It’s been fuck- like what 11 years?” Your hands started to shake and your breath hitched in your throat, what were you hearing? Was it true, if it was that meant the feelings you had in high school was mutual. Tears started to well up in your eyes, why was he telling you this, you were carrying his best friend’s baby, you were in love with Eijiro. But what if you were carrying his child instead, what would happen then, would you be happy? “K-katsuki...” He shook his head and sighed “No, Y/n. You dont need to tell me anything, if i knew you had a crush on me sooner, things could have been different, i had goals and i didnt thought that you were feeling the same.” His voice cracked and his crimson eyes shined with tears. Your eyes met with his and you slowly stood up. Even if you were in love with Eijiro, Katsuki was your first love and there was a part of you that still loved him. Your shaky hands grabbed his and his eyes widened “I’m sorry for being a coward, Katsuki.” He clenched his teeth “No! If i told you how i felt-” You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his torso and the both of you quietly cried for the loss of the years. “Y/n, let me...” He tightened his hold on you and rested his forehead on yours, you nodded and closed your eyes. He slowly lovered his face and his soft lips met with yours. Katsuki Bakugou was your first love and this was his way of saying goodbye, he didnt wanted to suffer anymore, he didnt wanted to feel the pain in his heart whenever he saw you with Eijiro...

-

The last five months of your pregnancy flowed like water and in the end, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Her name was Kaori and she looked just like you but her red ruby eyes was just like his fathers. After Kaori’s 1st birthday, you started working again and your mother was looking after your daughter. Kirishima was the sweetest dad ever, he was doing everything he could to help you and Katsuki was protective when it came to the little girl. Mina was always buying her a new Red Riot onesie and Jirou was always singing her the best lullabies.

-

After dropping Kaori at your mothers place, you started driving towards your agency and texted Eijiro that you were going to be busy. When you got to the agency they immediately called you for backup. There were a chaotic villain group and you left with some of the pros. The buildings were on fire and some of the pro’s were badly injured, you even saw some of your old friends. Then you heard a scream, it belonged to a little girl. Her sobs were so loud and it was coming from a burning building, before you could think of anything, your legs started to move towards the building. Your quirk was called ‘Telekinesis’ and it made you control objects and sometimes humans. “Help me, mommy!” Your heart shattered to pieces and you quickly activated your quirk, after moving the rubbles to the side you managed to spot the girl but she was at the 4th floor. You ran into the building and started to call for her “Hey, little girl where are you!” you continued to shout and run, then you heard it “Im here, please help!” You kicked the door open and saw the girl, sitting on the floor. Tears were flowing from her eyes and you crouched down “Im gonna take you out of here!” Then just when you were about to carry her, she started to laugh and it turned to a scary one. “Ahahahaha!” Your eyes widened and the girl transformed into a scary man, “W-what is this?!” it was a trap, he was a villain. “Bye bye, hero.” Everything happened so fast, you felt something sharp in your chest and tried to look at it. Then your legs started to tremble and you fell to the floor, blood was everywhere, it was yours. The villain managed to shot you in the chest. A warm feeling surrounded you and the people you love came into your mind. Kaori; your little girl, Katsuki your first love and friend, Mina, Jirou then Eijiro, the love of your life, the best husband ever, the reason of your happiness. “E-eiji...” Tears fell from your eyes and everything turned dark.

-

Eijiro was trying to reach you for hours, the last thing he got from you was a text message, saying you’ll be busy bc of work. He was getting worried because there was a dangerous case going on and he knew you went there for help. Just when he was about to ask for permission to leave, his phone started buzzing and he quickly answered “Hello?” a woman started to speak “Hello, is this Mr. Kirishima?” His heart started to beat faster, there was an uneasy feeling in his gut. “I’m calling you from the hospital, we wanted to inform you about Mrs.Kirishima’s condition.” With the mention of your name the world stopped spinning “W-what happened to my wife?!” The woman sighed and there was a long pause “Mr.Kirishima can you please come to the hospital?” He quickly hung up, he didnt know what to do. What if something happened to you, what was he supposed to do? The only person he could call was Bakugou, so he did that. Katsuki tried his best to calm Kirishima down and both males started to drive towards the hospital.

-

“Bakugou!” Katsuki turned towards the voice, it was Kirishima. His teeth were clenched and he was running towards the reception. Bakugou came to the hospital before Kirishima and tried to gather some information about you but the nurses were so stubborn they were waiting for Eijiro to come. “Where’s my wife, where is Y/n?!” He started to shout and Bakugou grabbed his arm. “Bakugou, where is Y/n?!” Bakugou shook his head “Calm down, Kirishima. I know that you are worried but you are not helping.” Katsuki tried to sound calm but his voice was shaking, he knew something was wrong. The nurses werent saying a thing, he wanted to see you, he wanted to wrap his arms around you and never let you go. Then the doctor arrived, he had a melancholic look on his face. “Mr.Kirishima?” Kirishima and Bakugou turned towards the voice and Kirishima shouted “I want to see my wife!” When the doctor kept silent Katsuki’s blood started to boil “Say something, damn it!” They both wanted to see you, they both wanted to kiss you, protect you. “Mrs,Kirishima got shot by a villain and lost a lot of blood.” Eijiro’s heart started to ache and the air left his lungs, Katsuki was in shock he didnt know what to think, his eyes were wide, trembling. “We tried everything we could, im sorry...” And with that Kirishima collapsed to the ground, his painful sobs were echoing throught the corridors “Y/n!” His body was trembling, the love of his life were gone... Katsuki’s hands found his hair and started to tug at the blond locks. Tears were falling from his eyes, he let out a painful scream and hated himself for not being there to protect you...

-

When the funeral come to and end, Katsuki wanted to see her grave for one more time, there were flowers in his hand. “Y/n...” It was like a whisper, after crying for so long, he couldnt find the energy to speak. His heart was shattered to pieces, everything felt empty, the world wasnt colorful anymore, everything felt either black or white. “I thought you'd be here.” When he heard his best friend’s voice, he turned to see a broken Eijiro. He tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace, both men stood in silence then Eijiro started to speak “I knew that you were in love with her.” Katsuki’s eyes widened and he couldnt meet Eijiro’s gaze. “How?” He managed to croak out. “You are my best friend, i know you more than anyone else.” Katsuki felt like dying, these three days were horrible, he lost the love of his life and now he was going to lose Eijiro’s friendship too but just when he was preparing himself for Eijiro’s harsh words, Eijiro pulled him into a hug. “I cant blame you for falling in love with her, she was amazing.” Katsuki started to tremble and hugged him back, he was harshly nodding. “She left us a piece of her, i cant love anyone else but im not gonna let Kaori suffer because she doesnt have a mother.” Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut and continued to nod. Both men cried together for the loss of their love, for the woman they fell for. After calming down a little Katsuki opened his mouth “We’re gonna take care of Kaori, we gonna make her the happiest girl in the world for Y/n.” Kirishima smiled at his friend’s promise and nodded “For Y/n.”

-

“Hey Y/n, i cant believe twelve years had passed. It’s like you were here yesterday, our daughter is a beautiful lady now, she is so energetic and full of positivity, just like us. Everyone misses you so much, especially me. When i wake up, i want to feel your warmth beside me, i want to see your beautiful face after a long day at work. Your clothes are still in our closet, i dont want your scent to go away, our pictures are still on the walls of our house. Kaori always looks at them and tells me how beautiful you are. She is right, you are the most beautiful woman in this whole existence. Kaori loves chocolate chip cookies, when i told her that they were your favourite she wanted to make them and now we are always baking cookies with uncle Katsuki and aunt Mina. Jirou also visits us regularly and sings her the most beautiful melodies. Kaminari and Sero always make stupid faces to make her laugh, Midoriya and Shoto bought her some presents, you should’ve seen her face! She loves all of our friends but she loves Katsuki the most, she always calls him ‘Uncle Suki’. Katsuki and i promised each other to pay you a visit regularly. We missed you Y/n, we missed you so much. God, i wasnt going to cry but i cant help it baby, without you there is always something empty but i promise you that no matter what happens, im going to make our daughter the happiest in the world, you are her hero and she wants to be strong, just like you.”

-From, Eijiro

After putting the letter at the side of your grave Kirishima smiled softly and looked at his right, Katsuki was standing with a small smile on his face, then Kaori broke the silence “See you soon mom, i love you!” They both ruffled her hair and Kaori linked his arms with his father’s “Dad, uncle! Lets make some chocolate chips cookies.” Katsuki smirked “Dont eat too much sugar, brat.” Kaori pouted but laughed. Your absence was painful but they were going to make good memories, for you...

[gossipchii]

Right hands

FF.net: here / AO3: here

Characters: Takenouchi Sora and Yagami Taichi 

Pairing: (friendly) Taiora

Words: 700+

Notes: I HAVE BEEN WRITING SO MUCH I BARELY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF ANYMORE?????

Another lost scene from Kizuna so umm?? Spoilers?

"How did you know I would be here?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

Taichi was sitting at the swings in the park he used to go to when he was younger, the exact same swings where him and Sora met.

"I guess I'm an open book," Taichi's gaze staring deep at the floor, Sora understood it was still to painful to look anywhere else, to face reality. A reality without… them. "And Yamato?"

"I came here after seeing him," Sora took a sit in the second swing. It was almost funny how they fit at the swings, which used to fit perfectly and now they were even uncomfortable. "He's with Takeru now, I made sure he wasn't left alone."

"Yet you came here to see me, too." Taichi's gaze met Sora's, his eyes were still swollen from the obvious crying that had been going on.

It had been a week since it happened to her, since Piyomon had… left. Since then, she had only seen Yamato, and Takeru for the few minutes when he got to Yamato's apartment to replace Sora so she could go check on Taichi. It was the first time the childhood friends saw each other since it all started, the beginning of the end. Sora was afraid Taichi wouldn't have understood how she didn't want to fight, not the same way Mimi, Jou and, of course, Yamato had understood her.

How could anyone blame her? She and Taichi used to be each other's right hands, especially when it came to fighting. She used to be the first one to back him up when they were eleven, back in the Digital World. Things seemed to be way easier back then, even when their lives were endangered, and they had no surviving skills, just a brave soul to rely on.

Yet, as soon as she found out Gabumon and Agumon had met the same destiny as Piyomon previously had, Sora knew it was the moment to face him. She hadn't healed, either, even had refused to see him when they had saved the world once again, because she wasn't ready. Taichi, on the other hand, had come to understanding he had to give Sora her space when she needed it. So, he respected her, but God, had he missed her.

"I'm sorry," she said wholeheartedly, placing her hand on top of his.

"I know, and I'm sorry too." He swiped the last tears his body probably had out of his eyes. "I don't think I've cried this much since I thought I had lost you."

He didn't have to explain what he was referring to; Sora perfectly knew he was referring at the time Datamon had kidnapped her. Perhaps she had been wrong, being eleven hadn't been easy, at all.

"So you made sure I thought I had lost you few minutes after, huh? To get back at me?" Taichi chuckled, surprised to see that he was still able to feel anything other than sadness.

"I've missed you," Sora felt a pinch of guilt at Taichi's words, but she had missed him too, with every inch of her heart.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help…"

"You don't have to explain anything, I respect every decision you make." He interrupted; Sora bit her lower lip. The swings weren't the only thing that displayed they were adults, their actions and words did too.

Sora was the first one to start swinging, slowly at first, yet quickly accelerating the pace until she felt she was flying, like she had done on uncountable occasions on the back of Birdramon. Taichi joined her right after, both completely struck on a comfortable silence, one they didn't need to explain.

"As crazy as it sounds, I don't think they're gone forever," Sora could tell this had been on Taichi's mind for as while as it was possible, but it was the first time he had said it out loud.

"What do you mean?"

"I know they're not here, physically, or digitally," Taichi looked up at the sky, completely darkened out. "But I just know we will meet again. Am I being a wishful thinker?"

"No." Sora's chest felt warm, joining Taichi at staring at the sky. She pretended the brightest star was Piyomon, looking after her. "I think you're right. We'll meet them again."

[trashogram]

Devotee II. 

Ryuk/Misa

Warnings: Emotional/Psychological Manipulation, Abusive Relationships, Dubious Consent to Interspecies Relations, Painful Sex, and Sociopath Light Yagami

Part One | Part Three

When he fully processed Light’s proposition, Ryuk had cackled madly. His crowing built up like oncoming thunder, and the chains he wore rattled and clinked with the intensity. He laughed so hard that he had to hold onto his sides, long arms wrapping around his emaciated stomach as if it truly strained him.

Misa had stood behind the arrogant man, looking pale as a ghost. Her eyes were wide as the moon and she was uncharacteristically silent during their exchange, but it wasn’t hard to see why with the whole picture.

“You’ve finally lost it, Light-o.” Ryuk guffawed, feet finally back on the ground after he’d risen out of astonishment.

Light was unphased. “It’s not a joke.”

The laughter finally stopped, and Ryuk stood there with mounting confusion.

“... Why…?” He was truly dumbfounded, brain short-circuiting over how this could possibly be happening.

“You can’t trade her for the eyes.” The god of death chided Light. “No way would - ”

“ - Would offering Misa be enough to gain Shinigami eyes?” Light interrupted. “That’s fine. I figured as much.”  

“That’s not what I want.” Light said, lips quirking. “I don’t want anything from you.”

He reached behind himself and pulled Misa forward by the wrist, holding her out for the shinigami to take, as if Misa was just another apple.  

Ryuk reared back, head swiveling so fast that were he not already impervious to death, he would’ve broken his neck. Misa looked up at him with her hands clasped together in prayer.

“Ryuk.” She addressed him, voice hoarse. “Please, please do this with me. It’s all I want.”

     He’d grown so accustomed to these particular humans, it wasn’t far-fetched to think he’d seen everything they had to offer. Misa’s devotion to Light Yagami went to great lengths, so far that she’d been willing to give her life for his ‘cause’... But this was crossing a different line entirely.

Ryuk’s bulbous eyes bore into the second Kira. He wouldn’t lie to himself. Misa may have been a human, and he a Shinigami, but Ryuk found the young woman plenty attractive. It didn’t matter much, knowing how crazy she was for Light, and how Misa wouldn’t have considered this in the first place. This kind of thing had likely never crossed her mind, nevertheless she was currently begging for Ryuk to fuck her.

She’d rather die first, wouldn’t she?

Or maybe she would die if she didn’t do this. Misa did look like a hostage at the moment, and Light was keeping her there with a harsh grip.

“Please?” Misa’s voice thickened with emotion, misery.

Ryuk was a little sad at the thought of Misa being disposed of so soon. And there was no rule against this, so if he did ‘help’ her here, it wouldn’t be enough to kill him.  

There was another long silence, before Ryuk acquiesced by nodding.

“Alright.”

-------------

“You have to pretend it’s me.” Light had Misa by the shoulders, the caricature of a life coach trying to pep up a client. “That’s the only way this is going to work.”

His natural nonchalance so understated the demand that he had made of her, which he was well aware of. If this parasite of a woman weren’t so delusional, she’d already have left him and never looked back. Of course, she wouldn’t get very far considering he would just kill her, but still.

No sane person would possibly go through with this.

Light had adapted to Ryuk’s presence quickly, and regarded him with the same fondness one might bestow a stray cat. At his best, Ryuk was a not-quite-captive audience to Light’s triumphs, completely aware of how far Light had gone to secure his place as god.

That didn’t erase the fact that Ryuk was inhuman.

He was hideous. 7 feet tall while hunching, with grotesque blue-gray skin marred by stitches and deep grooves in his eccentric clothing. Ryuk was the stuff of nightmares, watching everyone with unblinking yellow eyes and a permanent grin on his ghastly face.

To Light, the shinigami barely resembled a man and looked more like an abomination trying to pretend it was human.

So, Light almost felt sorry for goading the little blonde gnat he called a girlfriend into fucking said abomination.

There wasn’t any reason for Misa to do this, truth be told. He’d planted the seed in her head that this was some nebulous albeit highly necessary test to prove her worth. If she had time to think it over, Misa would’ve realized how little sense this “test” made.

But for his own intrigue, and out of more than a little resentment, Misa’s strings were plucked expertly. She was already so needy, wanting affirmations of his love if ever he could spare them.

Light squeezed her shoulders and held her close. He faked actual care with all the grace of a trained actor.

“I know, I know.” He hushed. “It’s scary. It must seem impossible to you. It would seem that way to anyone, I’m sure.”

Why put her through it, then? Ryuk thought wryly. Aren’t you supposed to protect people you love?

Ryuk waited on the edge of the couple’s bed meanwhile, observing their silhouettes while listening to them whispering in the doorway. He felt confident that Misa herself was aware, on some level, that everything Light said was bullshit, but also knew that that didn’t matter.

Misa Amane wasn’t stupid - she was spontaneous and flighty, posing an issue more because she didn’t fit into Light’s rigid worldview then because of a lack of a brain. Nevertheless, her heart typically outbid her head when it came to decision making; and she was perpetually a prisoner to the irrational fantasy that Light genuinely cared for her.

“But I know you can do this for me, Misa.” Light said tenderly. “You’re so brave. The only one that’s worthy enough to be Kira’s wife.”

Ryuk wouldn’t have believed it had he not been Light’s shadow for this long, but that faux kindness worked. It took longer than Light would have probably liked for Misa’s shaking to have lessened somewhat. Her heavy breathing tampered down while her boyfriend held her close and rested his head atop hers, arms wrapped around her tightly like she was precious.

Light gently detached her from him again after a small eternity, putting a hand under her chin to ensure they made eye contact. Misa sniffled, nodding slowly.

—-----

The door opened with a creak, with Light and Misa filing in, the latter of whom looking like she was about to be executed.

When Misa turned on her heels to face Ryuk, she was unaware of the smug look on Yagami’s handsome face. Ryuk didn’t comment, averse to the unprecedented disgust that settled in his gut at Light’s callousness. He’d never felt disdain for Light’s actions before, though he’d gone beyond what Ryuk believed to be the limit of atrocities for a single human.

Instead, Ryuk’s attention focused on Misa as the girl crept forward, inch by literal inch. She was standing six-feet away from him before he reached out and carefully tugged her the rest of the way by her waist, making her squeak. He let go as he saw the clear trepidation in her brown eyes from this close.  

The woman looked lost standing there, until Light cleared his throat expectantly.

Ryuk’s brow lifted. “You’re gonna be in here, too?”

Light shrugged, taking a seat parallel to the bed. The bastard was actually failing at containing the smirk on his face over this.  

“Freak.” Ryuk chortled uncomfortably.  

Misa inhaled and exhaled a few times, shoulders rising and falling, before masking her fear with determination. Her counterpart cocked his head, watching her curiously.

Without warning, Misa’s eyes shut tight and Ryuk balked when she pitched forward. The woman was so short that she needed to apply her weight on her toes as she made to kiss him. She couldn’t make it all the way, with Ryuk’s mouth being as big as it was, but she pecked his lower lip before drawing back.

He watched her return upright, noting the scrunch of her nose. Oddly, it wasn’t a look of disgust on her face as much as it was one of perplexity.

“You’re really cold.” Misa determined out loud.

“Oh, uh yeah...” Ryuk replied, flinching at the sound of his own voice. “Sorry, about that. Not much I can do…”

The silence that followed was awkward, making Ryuk twitch, and he scoured his brain for a way to end it all.

His taloned hands came to rest on Misa’s hips, allowing him the opportunity to savor the heat that had seeped from her body into her clothes. Even with the fabric of her shorts in the way, he was able to feel the shape of her, and her supple flesh.

Misa grabbed Ryuk’s claws, steadying herself in his grip and wincing at the fact that the shinigami’s hands were just as cold as his lip. Her hands quickly slid from his, up to grasp the leather covering his lean arms.

Her touch started a flurry of feelings inside his abdomen. He was uncomfortable, but the feeling was slowly fading away in favor of excitement.

It had been a while since Misa’s touch had forced him to dematerialize out of shyness. He still felt strangely when she made contact with him, but it was less of a churning in his stomach and more of a fluttering. Ryuk had begun anticipating her affectionate gestures over time, to where he was bummed out if a day passed and he’d been neglected.

Never had his desire for physical contact with her amounted to a shared embrace or groping, however. He wasn’t as delusional as Misa, no matter how badly he wanted something.

“Don’t you think she’s overdressed, Ryuk?” Light asked across from them.

Misa dug her nails into Ryuk’s sleeves while his hands rose to the hem of her tank top and he started to lift it up. He was already pulling the flimsy piece of clothing over her shoulders before Misa remembered to lift her arms up.

When it was off and thrown to the side, the girl immediately covered her chest.

Ryuk chuckled, dragging his knuckles against her side, feeling her ribs beneath layers of skin and muscle. For her part, Misa did an excellent job of not recoiling violently as she so obviously wanted to.

Her arms were akimbo for a moment. Then, Misa placed her much smaller hand over his, holding on to stymy any potential brusqueness on his part.

He didn’t apply any pressure or make a grab for her. Ryuk skimmed, content with just being able to touch her for the time being. His hand traveled past her shoulder up to her neck, and soon tangled in her hair. The palm of his hand was large enough to cover the back of her head in full.

Ryuk’s shoulders straightened when Misa warily leaned into his touch, letting him cradle her head and thread her yellow locks between his spindly fingers in earnest. He didn’t say anything when Misa closed her eyes, just marvelled at how silky her hair was and how it compared to her skin.

Humans were squishy beings, but Misa in particular was soft and smooth just about everywhere.

Ryuk hadn’t given it too much thought before then, but he liked the consistency. Touching her was nice, even more so when Misa gave him access to her willingly - well, semi-willingly.

Their audience of one sighed on the sidelines, unwilling to pretend to be a wallflower.

Light rested his head on one hand, watching the two, who, to Light’s chagrin, weren’t exactly falling in line. He knew that Misa was a magnet for shinigami, but seeing Ryuk be so gentle with her upset Light’s stomach. The man supposed that it was his own fault, hoping that Ryuk might lose the few brain cells he had and break Misa as soon as he got to her.

Then again, that reluctance only solidified proof that Ryuk was able to be manipulated where Misa was concerned.

“You do know what sex is, right Ryuk?” Light spoke up again, impatient. “Or do we need to give you the talk?”

Ryuk scoffed, mood souring somewhat.

“You don’t have to be so nosy, ya know?” He snapped, pushing aside the irony of his own words.

Misa looked toward Light each time he spoke, and Ryuk found that to be a contributing factor to his own ire. He felt like complaining over her lack of enthusiasm as well… maybe that was overdoing it in terms of ignoring irony, though.

        The shinigami eyed the shorts around her waist and the bra on her chest. Given his purpose in life, Ryuk possessed a wealth of patience compared to your average human, but considered that he might be on a time limit.

The tentative exploration ended as soon as it began, and without another word Ryuk yanked at her shorts with his free hand.

“Hey!” Misa went rigid with alarm. The shinigami silenced her by placing his mouth over hers, eagerly pulling her in until she was crushed against his bony chest.

The model began to thrash, unprepared for Ryuk’s tongue to sweep over her lips and worm its way down her throat. She took in a mouthful of him, gagging on the unbelievably long appendage. He was too rough, too clumsy, and literally tore off her brazier in his insistence to swallow her whole.

At the feeling of sharp teeth pressed against her, Misa felt fear consume her. It would be very easy for Ryuk to either choke her this way, or for his fangs to bite off her tongue and make her bleed out.

“You’re going to suffocate her, Ryuk.” Light’s voice put a pause on things.

Ryuk halted, and Misa pulled away until she was free to gasp for air. Ryuk was dismayed at first, regarding Light as a pest in a bizarre switch of roles. Yet, when he saw Misa’s skin beginning to return to a normal shade, from the bluish cast it had taken on, Ryuk felt sheepish.

“Oops.”  

“It’s fine.” Light was perched on an armchair, legs crossed as he maintained the role of a passive observer. “Just keep it in mind that humans have to breathe from now on.”  

Misa twisted in Ryuk’s grasp as much as she could, incredulous. “Light! Can we st -”

“AH!” She shrieked.

Ryuk didn’t wait for more information before he was at her again. She was in shock as Ryuk took one of her breasts in his mouth and swirled his tongue over her nipple. He hummed against her malleable flesh, delighting in how Misa began struggling again while simultaneously mewling.

Ryuk hadn’t spent a lot of time watching humans engaging in sexual activity -- if he saw it, it was usually by accident and normally just tickled his funny bone.

Her hands had moved from his arms to his shoulders, and now she was digging her manicured nails into the back of his neck, either to keep stable or to throw him off.

If her intention was to ward him away, Misa was failing spectacularly. The feeling of being clawed wracked Ryuk’s body with tremors, encouraging him to return the favor by marking her back with his talons.

He’d seen humans going at it before, in all kinds of ways and in all kinds of places, but was surprised by how much he was enjoying it.

Still suckling, the death god finally managed to take off her shorts with minimal damage. Misa was completely bare by the time Ryuk let go of one breast to suck greedily at the other, his shark-like teeth grazing her areola.

Misa was jarred forward, feeling like an unwitting passenger on the world’s worst rollercoaster while being pulled, prodded and wrenched to the shinigami’s liking. His talons were scraping over every bit of skin that he could reach, from her upper back down to her ass, which he kneaded with bruising enthusiasm.

Ryuk let go, drool pouring down his chin as he gave her a hooded stare.

“Yum.” He said huskily.

Misa flushed as a sharp, gleaming grin stretched the corners of Ryuk’s mouth. His typical laugh was muffled while he moved in for another slobbery kiss. With the return of his overly-long tongue, Misa clamped down on it with her blunt teeth in an effort to stop the assault. She jumped when all it did was change Ryuk’s sniggering into a groan, provoking a twinge of heat in her lower belly.  

The second Kira whimpered, losing her will to continue fighting. In the background, Kira himself smirked as her conviction visibly dwindled.  

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 230 “Ienaga Kano”

So with the new chapter we get a split in the fandom on how to nickname Tsukishima. While the Japanese fandom goes for ‘Surekill-man’ a reference to a fanassigned nicknamed for a character in the ‘Jojo no kimyō na bōken’ universe, the western fandom went for something obviously more ‘western’…

…to be honest with various variations of the nick, from purely ‘The Terminator’ from the homonymous movie to ‘The Tsukishima’ or ‘Tsukishimator’ and so on (I went with the one that would fit better in the space in the image, that and Merdopseudo liked it, my apologies to the nicks not used, you’re all cool but ‘there can be only one’).

But let’s start with the chapter and with how Tsukishima gained this nick.

We left him having been injected a sedative by Ienaga and yet still managing to shoot her to death. It’s worth to point out Ienaga’s sedatives need some time to affect people and our Tsukinator is trying to take advantage of it to make a short work of Tanigaki.

Really, we knew Tsukishima, pardon, the Tsukinator was good at hand-to-hand combat but not really how much. Tanigaki is supposedly good as well, bigger than him and not drugged and our supposedly sedated Tsukinator is literally wiping the floor with him without even breaking a sweat and Tanigaki manages only narrowly to have him miss shooting his brain off.

Luckily for Tanigaki when it looks as if the Tsukinator will get better luck with his next shoot, the sedative kickes in (with the Tsukinator’s veins becoming rather visible as if they were some sort of monster crawling on his face)

and the Tsukinator’s falls, his face flat on Tanigaki’s ample chest.

Ienaga, still alive, tells Inkarmat, who’s naively trying to stop the blood pouring out of her, about how the Tsukinator wouldn’t SUPPOSEDLY be able to move for two hours.

Tanigaki, always the righteous, gives Ienaga a look that Ienaga correctly interpret with ‘why would a selfish, evil criminal like you do something like that?’.

Tanigaki represents that sort of naïve people that divide the world in two blocks, the purely evil ones and the purely good ones and misses how actually there’s a lot of middle ground in between the two groups and purely evil and purely good hardly exist if not in fairy tales.

As Ienaga did PLENTY of terrible deeds Tanigaki doesn’t care for her motivations nor expects her to feel also positive emotions like love or care and do something good like helping them. He put her in the box of the evil people and thinks there’s no way she would get out of it and do something good.

On the contrary side he perceives himself as being among the good guys, as proved by the previous chapter in which he said he wasn’t cold blooded enough to kill a friend, Sugimoto, conveniently forgetting he wanted to do the same to Kenkichi and that he did the same to Kiro (who saved his and Inkarmat’s life by the way) and doesn’t realize the ‘greyness’ in himself, feeling free to judge negatively Ogata and Nikaido for betraying Tsurumi but thinking instead that he is entitled to do the same.

This, of course, doesn't mean Tanigaki is evil, he’s merely human and therefore flawed.

I love this side of him as a character, I love how human Tanigaki is in his own good sides and in his own bad sides but, on the other hand it clearly makes me angry when he acts like a blind hypocrite. It’s human... but it’s no good at all.

Anyway Ienaga explains her own reasons which are… very simple.

Inkarmat, who’s about to give birth, is, for Ienaga, about to become ‘perfect’. Evidently the trauma of her mother’s abort, which twisted Ienaga and turned her into a bloody murderer and cannibal, rules her life not only pushing her to do heinous acts but also in a positive way. She wants to save this pregnant woman, she wants her to attain the ‘perfection’ neither her or her mother could attain. And it’s clear Ienaga is completely content with giving up her life for this, in fact she’s smiling and telling Tanigaki to not lose this moment.

Inkarmat is touched. Tanigaki just pulls Inkarmat up and tells her to leave without even a word of thank you for the person who gave her life so that they could escape. Inkarmat’s gaze instead is still on Ienaga and since she doesn’t seem to really try to get up I wonder if this is because she feels bad for Ienaga, for leaving her behind.

Not that she can be saved.

This, mind you, doesn’t mean Ienaga is now a good person or that she gets redeemed by this single heroic act. Ienaga is a terrible person who did terrible things and who’s helping Inkarmat only because, for her own reasons, she had come to care about her.

It’s entirely possible Ienaga doesn’t regret a single terrible thing she had done in life and, had she survived, she would have continued to try to chop people and eat them for their own purposes… except Inkarmat for whom she had grown fond.

On the other side the cover of the chapter, placed here and showing Ienaga’s body, depicts the sprays of blood that came out of her as forming a halo and wings, while the writing points out that Ienaga became perfect in that very moment, by giving her own life for someone else.

If this is Noda nodding to Christian faith again, the implication is that yes, Ienaga regretted what she did in the past and that she would be forgiven, not by men but by God.

After all, according to many, ‘Who saves a life saves the world’.

Yeah, yeah, among fans it’s a controversial topic.

The tropes of ‘death equals redemption’ and ‘redemption equals death’ are overused to the point they feel cheap and that’s due to fans themselves. As James Norrington said ‘The problem with a 'redemption' gig is, well, no one wants to see it. They all want to believe in it, sure, but to do it... it's as good as signing your own death warrant. Audiences don't want to see you redeemed, living a normal life. They'll never truly forgive you for your flaws as long as you're alive.’

Long story short, authors who decide to portray that EVERYONE can do a heel-face turn, that you can stop doing evil things, that is never too late to become a good person which is a great message really, also end up heroically killing off characters who decide to do something good for a change, so as to appease the fans who can’t forgive them and just want them to never realize the errors of their way and die a miserable death (or, when they feel merciful, spend their life being miserable).

Well, if that’s your kind of story, you’re free to roll with it.

De gustibus non disputandum est.

I’m personally not sure that, had Ienaga survived, after this heroic act of her, the trauma that pushed her into becoming the person she was, would be magically healed and she would become a morally perfect person... or at least as morally perfect as a human can be (not much really unless you’re in air of sainthood) and OF COURSE there’s no way she could ‘pay back’ all the people she killed as... well… they’re dead (I know there’s a lot of confusion about it but redemption isn’t about being forgiven, nor is about giving your life in a heroic way, redemption is about paying back the people you wronged... unless of course you use religion and have the character atone for his sins against God by redeeming himself to His eyes and not really by redeeming himself to his victims)  but I like the idea Noda is hinting this could have helped her to change their ways.

A perfect world would be perfect if all the criminals just were to change their ways and become good people, not if the jails could contain them all or if they were to drop all dead in a ‘Death Note’ style (though, when we talk about fictional works, there’s a bit of Yagami Light in all the fans… :P ). We need good men more than we need jails filled and corpses.

But well, this of course is just an utopia, sinning is addictive and changing your life is hellish hard. It happens even in real life, but is sadly very rare.

Anyway Tanigaki and Ienaga leave Inkarmat’s room only to meet up with Koito, pointing his gun at them. Tanigaki, who was pushing ahear Inkarmat, now places her behind himself but Koito is clearly torn. He’s sweating and chewing his lower lip as he lower his gaze as well before lowering his gun too and telling them to leave.

The two run away, always without thanking him, but then Tanigaki wonders why Koito left them go.

Inkarmat points out that when Koito was bedridden she spent a lot of time telling fortunes to him but Tanigaki rejects the idea. The Second Lieutenant Koito he knows wouldn’t have shown mercy to a person who had shown kindness to him.

While this is partially true, as part of Koito’s actions are clearly motivated by how he had lost faith in Tsurumi and Tsukishima due to discovering how he was used by them, I still think him letting Inkarmat go is also part due to him growing fond of her.

She was with him and cheered him up when he was wounded and weak and, in a way, in enemy ground. I think this was precious to him and Inkarmat, who’s clearly not a naive person, probably realized it. Koito knows he can’t escape, he doesn’t take that chance to run away as well, but it’s worth to mention if Tsurumi were to realize he let them go, Koito could end up in troubles as well and maybe he’s afraid Tsukishima too could put him in troubles since he warned him if he were to betray he would kill him. Koito also is risking his own life to help them, and, I think, is something he’s not doing solely out of the kindness of his heart but out of genuine care for Inkarmat.

She won him over a little.

It’s also sad how Tanigaki thinks that Inkarmat’s kindness should have gone unrewarded on Koito. He doesn’t think the time she spent with him would affect Koito, that he would grow to care for her. He sees Koito as a lost cause, a man uncapable of showing thankfullness and apprecciation for the kindness he received.

Koito is in another box for bad guys from which Tanigaki didn’t think Koito should have been able to get off and instead he did. People don’t change to Tanigaki, he has no hope for them to get better, to improve themselves, to develop positive relations or to do good thing. Once evil, always evil.

It’s a sad, hopeless and cold view.

I think even Nihei would be hurt by it.

Meanwhile Tanigaki put in action his ‘bright plan’ of escaping with Inkarmat on a horse a mean of transportation surely perfectly comfortable for a pregnant woman who could give birth at any minute and whose speed wouldn’t resent at all of the fact it has to carry two people, one of which at the nth month of pregnancy plus whatever Tanigaki has in those bags he hung to the horse and his own backpack.

Now… remember when I said the Tsukinator was meant to be out of commission for supposedly two hours?

Well, we wished.

The Tsukinator, despite the sedative, manages to get up, grab a rifle, shoot in Tanigaki’s direction and recharge before… falling again. Honestly I’m not sure if he has fainted or he just slipped off the bed due to lack of coordination. Nothing stop the Tsukinator as we’ll see later on.... but after all we knew it.

‘Listen, and understand, Tanigaki. That Tsukinator is out there, it cant be bargained with, it cant be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop... EVER, untill you are dead!’

Too bad Tanigaki can’t hear me lecturing him about the Tsukinator....

Meanwhile as Tanigaki and Inkarmat escape, as it was easy to predict, the rocking of the horse of course starts to affect Inkarmat. Tanigaki realizes he was going too fast and, since they managed to make to the edge of the Otaru he thinks they’re far enough and safe enough they can stop there in an abandoned building.

As Tanigaki lights a fire, Inkarmat notes there’s blood coming from his head so he uses the Matanpushi (the headband Huci gave him) to bandage it, claiming he’ll be fine.

Honestly I don’t really find respectful to use that headband as a makeshift bandage as the Matanpushi has a religious meaning among Ainu, in fact it tells Gods where they are and calls their protection on the wearer. I can understand Huci using it as such, to ask the Gods to protect Tanigaki, but, as I doubt Tanigaki is now an Ainu Gods believer, it just feels a bit inappropriate.

On the other side in desperate times people would beg at whatever altar they would find and I also wonder if, in a way, this makes Tanigaki feel as he felt when he was escaping from Ogata and Nikaido so in a way he is hoping Huci’s headband will give him protection not so much through the Gods in which Huci’s believes but just because it’s Huci’s headband... which again is very human and also rather sweet.

(Besides there are huge chances Tanigaki has no idea of the religious meaning tied to it...)

We can also see that Tanigaki’s irises recover their light colour now that he’s wearing it so yes, I think it has a good psychological effect on him and it’s not just something he picked up at random.

Anyway Tanigaki plans to have them rest only a little and then escape farther.

Inkarmat notes Tanigaki is losing blood from his leg also, which Tanigaki thinks is the result of Tsukishima shooting at them earlier and which he notices only now since he was so busy escaping he didn’t even felt the pain it should give him.

While this is kind of normal and points rather well to Tanigaki’s inner state, so completely focused on escaping he basically didn’t even felt pain, not checking on his own conditions is a huge mistake. Not only loss of blood makes him weaker and could have caused him to faint, making him useless and giving Inkarmat more troubles but his dripping blood left a convenient track the Tsukinator followed till there.

And that’s why I think Tsukishima didn’t faint, he only fell because, on his feet he basically reached Tanigaki and Inkarmat who escaped on a horse in no time as they only apparently had time to light the fire before being discovered. The Tsukinator is even faster than Jason Voorhees in tailing after his victims despite being on his feet and drugged… but Noda has already assigned the comparison with Jason to Sugimoto so I’ll stick with the Tsukinator…

Anyway the Tsukinator tries to shoot Tanigaki but he narrowly misses him.

Either Tanigaki is lucky, due to the Matanpushi the Gods are really protecting him or Tsukishima is still partially affected by the sedative. Anyway Tanigaki tells Inkarmat to escape from the back as he tries to shoot the Tsukinator and… miss him despite the Tsukinator being only few steps from him as the Tsukinator lowers himself, pushes Tanigaki on the ground and then punches him hard.

Tanigaki, taking advantage of his superior size and strength, grabs the Tsukinator up and tosses him against a wall so hard the Tsukinator crashes through it.

Think this signs a score for Tanigaki? Think twice.

The result of Tanigaki’s efforts is that when Tanigaki grabs his rifle and tries to shoot him, the Tsukinator had all the time to hide, protected by the walls.

Tanigaki looks out, and luckily for him the Tsukinator isn’t into position yet as Tanigaki’s head would have been a beautiful target right then.

Way to go, Tanigaki, really.

Inkarmat calls him so Tanigaki reaches her and again they escape on a horse. Again.

The Tsukinator shoots Tanigaki in the shoulder...

...before faithfully ‘hopping’ after them at a leisurely pace with a calm and a determination that betrays how he took lessons from Pepé Le Pew only, to Pepé and Tsurumi’s displeasure, what pushes him forward to chase and attempt to kill Tanigaki, is clearly not ‘love’.

Anyway morning as come and Inkarmat and Tanigaki are still escaping on a horse, conveniently leaving blood track on the snow that the Tsukinator can follow. They might as well leave direction signs.

Tanigaki though is optimist. Now he has a rifle so, he thinks, the Tsukinator will keep more at distance (he wishes) and besides since he’s more at home in the mountains than him they will easily lose him if he will hide there with a pregnant woman about to give birth and for whom all those emotions and the horse ride clearly aren’t good.

As on cue and strictly following Murphy’s law, Inkarmat’s water breaks and Tanigaki’s oh so perfect plan to slowly reach the mountains and lose the Tsukinator there crashes when facing the logistics of how to deal with an impending childbirth that Ienaga had warned him was about to happen. But no, do not listen to the amazing doctor when the latter is also a criminal who just died to save your ass.

So Tanigaki APOLOGIZES TO THE HORSE because he is leaving him behind and mind him, this is nice and everything but what about thanking Ienaga, who died for you and Koito who risked his ass for you?

Meanwhile the Tsukinator moves closer following the trail of blood he can notice also in a bamboo grove… to discover Tanigaki’s horse which now has a wound on his leg, likely made by Tanigaki as the horse before seemed perfectly fine.

The Tsukinator understands he was misleaded into chasing the horse and his brain computer analyze the situation to set on a new course… and soon it’ll become obvious it’s not really difficult to get which one.

Meanwhile Tanigaki, who’s about to become father, carries Inkarmat bridal stile running through the snow repeating the classic sentences Panicky Expectant Fathers says to their wives when they’re about to give birth to a baby: ‘you can do this, grit your teeth and bear it, it’s gonna be okay, I’m with you, you can do this, everything will work out… yadda, yadda’.

Mind you, it’s nice from them as it’s not like there’s something they can do except saying such things and being of moral support with their presence but it’s a trope so abused seeing it in this scene somehow made me laugh instead than feel the drama that’s obviously looming over him and Inkarmat due to them being in an obviously very dire situation.

And it’s worth to mention that Inkarmat, same as all the other pregnant women, appreciates a lot Tanigaki’s efforts to reassure her.

Moral support might seem nothing much but sometimes it can also do miracles and it’s great to know there’s someone with you that encourages you when you’re in such a desperate situation, a rock against which you can hold so as not to be dragged away by waves.

So she smiles and hugs Tanigaki tightly and tries to hold on.

It’s a good moment.

Yeah, Tanigaki went into this without the sliver of a decent plan but at least he decided to stick with the people that were important for him and not leave them alone at the first sign of trouble.

Tanigaki has plenty of faults and flaws but, despite this I think it’s so IMPORTANT how he decided to stay with Inkarmat through thick and thin when so many other men would have washed their hands clean of her and the baby.

Maybe Tanigaki can’t give us lessons about planning or about not being hypocrites but sure as hell he’s trying his hardest to be a good companion and a good father and this is GREAT, really.

He’s wounded, he has lost blood and yet he’s running in the snow with all their luggage and Inkarmat, who’s pregnant, in his arms.

The Tsukinator can be scary in the way he doesn’t stop his chase but Tanigaki, who’s instead moved by love, is amazing.

Sadly though, Tanigaki isn’t really good at planning things and this definitely plays against him.

So Tanigaki, running like a madman, reaches the most predictable destination in the neighbourhood of Otaru in which he could hope to get help, Huci’s house, where we can see next to her the son of Sakamoto, the Lighting Bandit and O-gin who now had grown enough he can sit on his own.

While yes, in this place they can find someone who’ll help Inkarmat, it’s not like The Tsukinator couldn’t guess Tanigaki would take this course, it was obvious enough that escaping with a woman who’s about to give birth they should find a place in which said woman could give birth and Huci’s house is close enough so I expect the Tsukinator to figure this out and reach them in no time. I honestly doubt Tanigaki will manage to repeat the same trick he used with Ogata as, first of all, at this point it wouldn’t be wise to move Inkarmat for a while and this includes also just after she gave birth and he can’t leave her behind or she and her child will become hostages Tsukishima and Tsurumi can use against him or kill off in retaliation for his escape and this now includes Huci as well since Tanigaki has ended up involving her.

Due to Tanigaki’s huge involvement in Kiro’s death (Kiro died of blood loss mainly caused by the wound Tanigaki gave him) he’ll likely be a victim of the tiger curse and condemned to live an unhappy life meaning there are chances he won’t be the one to die here but that he’ll lose everything here.

Tsukishima is in no better position as he also contributed to Kiro’s death albeit in a smaller manner (the wound Tsukishima inflicted him did negligible harm compared to Tanigaki’s although it clearly didn’t help, actually it only speeded up Kiro’s death) so let’s talk a bit about him.

Tsukishima didn’t need to become The Tsukinator, as I called him through this whole rambling.

He attempted to stop Tanigaki, he was drugged, they went away, he could have told Tsurumi he just passed out, Koito kept on sleeping and be done with the whole business.

Tanigaki is just a man who wants to go back home, he isn’t interested in the gold hunt nor in stopping Tsurumi, he wants to get the woman he loves and have a family with her. Inkarmat is a woman who due to her past with Wilk ended up becoming a pawn to him and now she apparently merely wants to have a family with Tanigaki. The incoming baby has no fault of his own and can’t prove to be a threat.

Why just not letting them go? Why do they need to be killed or captured at any cost?

Is the baby’s actually Tsurumi? Did they experimented on the fetus so as to create the perfect soldier or the antichrist himself? Does Inkarmat know earth shattering  secrets that can’t be revealed to anyone?

Tsukishima was willing to let go Gansoku, a criminal. When Koito unveiled the truth Tsukishima let it slide as long as Koito played along with Tsurumi.

So why not letting go Tanigaki, Inkarmat and the baby?

Just because they aren’t okay with being used as a pawns like he is? Just because they want to have the ordinary happy life Tsukishima was denied? Or it’s because in this way it won’t come out Koito let them go?

I don’t know but I can’t say I like what Tsukishima is doing. He could turn the other way to save three lives, he could turn the other way as he does each time Tsurumi commits a crime and instead he decided to stick with Tsurumi against three people who, apparently, can’t really do Tsurumi harm. I’m really sad he chose to be that way.

On another note there’s something I wanted to remark in the past chapter but forgot about it so I’ll mention it here. I love how Noda handles Inkarmat’s pregnancy.

In many cases in manga a pregnant woman is often moving around like a not-pregnant woman, using her protruding belly like a hand rest and maybe being a little slow and fatigued but overall acting as she usually do.

Inkarmat moves exactly like a pregnant woman instead, not using her belly as a hand rest but protecting and holding it with her hands, taking it into consideration when she moves around and even when she’s in a seating position she clearly have to adjust it to make it comfortable for herself now that she’s in her 9th month. Noda really did his homework with her.

Anyway with this chapter we end volume 23, with Tanigaki coming back to Huci without Asirpa and with a woman about to give birth and a Tsukinator tailing after them in a situation that really sounds like it will become a déjà vu of volume 5.

Ogata back then didn’t want to shoot Tanigaki in Huci’s house so as not to have to kill her too and ended up allowing Tanigaki to get an advantage over him. We’ll see what the Tsukinator will do… and we’ll see what Tanigaki will do now as well, so as to ensure Inkarmat, his kid and Huci (as well as Sakamoto and O-gin’s baby) will get out of this safely.

Hopefully maybe, being back on the mountains will give him back his planning ability.

Using the horse to lead Tsukishima in the wrong direction wasn’t a bad idea even if the course he took afterward became then far too predictable. On a sidenote… in that circumstance Nikaido was there as well and Tsukishima watched as Tsurumi cut his ear. I do wonder… was Nikaido still at the hospital? Does he know what’s going on? Will he join them? And with whom he’ll side?

Tanigaki who caused him to be attacked by a bear or Tsukishima who stood by as Tsurumi cut his ear and would have let the latter kill him without blinking?

It would really be interesting to have Nikaido join the party with a ‘personal’ position instead than just the one of the soldier who has to obey to Tsurumi’s orders.

As the tiger curse said they’re supposed to live an unhappy life, unless I’m misinterpreting something, the curse won’t attempt to their lives, just at making them miserable. Still, we’ll see. I don’t want Inkarmat, the baby and Huci to die but I get this could be appropriate karmic retribution for Tanigaki. We’ll see.

In a way, while the previous chapter pushed forward a comparison between Tanigaki’s escape plan (or lack thereoff) and Ogata’s escape plan, this chapter is all a comparison in strenght and endurance between Tsukishima and Tanigaki. They fight, they keep on going even when other men would just give up, with a desperation and a determination that makes me think of Kiro in his last moments and that might be done on purpose in case the tiger curse is looming on them.

Kiroranke is looking down on them from above, seeing them as they struggle like he did, seeing them, who in the past had a good relation, fight without mercy like Tanigaki did with him.

We’ll see how it’ll end for both of them but sure thing the irony in all this is big.

Last but not least a question that’s going to stay unanswered for now. Who between the Tsukinator, the killer rabbit of Caerbannog, the 6 million yen man  and Jasonmoto would win should they come to a hand-to-hand fight? We’ll probably discover this in the future.

[secretshinigami]

Not Alone

Author: @jam-knife (I’m submitting through my main) For: @misas-biggest-fan Pairings/Characters: LxLight Rating/Warnings: Mature. Major characters’ deaths. Mentions of sex (though nothing too explicit, and I kept curse words to a minimum too). Angst, lots of it. Prompt: Light being tailed by L’s ghost Author’s Notes: heyyyyy first of all I LOVED your prompts! I really enjoyed writing this for you, it was a very interesting scenario to explore. I hope you like it!!! Please let me know what you think of it once you finish reading it. Second of all, this fic begins with a scene that was unfortunately cut from the anime (though it wasn’t canon in the manga as far as I know, so it’s not that bad). I don’t know whether or not you’ve watched it, but I’ll leave the link here just in case! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX1_K-mUH94 Word Count: 12k (approximation)

“You said nothing much to look forward to, Ryuk?”

Light’s words were met only by the rustling sound of leaves being ruffled by a sudden cold breeze, which carried with it the smell of removed earth, moss and death. The dirt stuck to his palms and the fabric of his pants as he stood up. He didn’t even show the empathy it required to rub it off.

“Not really. From now on, I’m going to show you how the new world is built.”

His eyes travelled to the sky, dyed orange and red as dusk fell upon him and his –unusually silent– Shinigami. He didn’t give L’s grave one last glimpse as he turned and left. What was there to see anymore? The rocky cross was nothing more than some artfully carved stone, the body six feet below it just an empty carcass, and the dirt that covered it and clung to his person wasn’t different from any other dirt.

None of it truly represented what L had been. L couldn’t possibly be reduced to or preserved in a graveyard lot. Those symbols were hollow.

L was gone. Forever. Which meant that Light now had green light to do with the world –His world– what he wanted.

That’s when he felt it, for the first time.

A step.

Light froze. That… he must have imagined it. Just in case he glanced over his shoulder, and confirmed there was nobody else there; just Ryuk, hovering half a foot over the paved path. That means he imagined it.

That extra step, as if someone tailing him had synchronized their walking with his own, but their last step was slightly off-key.

No. It was nothing. It had been a long day… a long year actually. But now the war was finally over, and all there was left to do was conquer-

He didn’t manage to conclude that thought before the chilling breeze enveloped him in a personal whirlwind of sorts, seeping into his clothes and attacking his every nerve. It only lasted a moment, but it was more than enough for him to perceive an intention in it. One simple idea. Confrontation.

Light was free. Omnipotent. And L was no more.

That is the plain truth… right?

The second time he noticed it was a few days later. Most of the time he wouldn’t even remember it, but every now and then the extra step would announce itself. Subtle, barely present enough to tickle the back of his head. And it grew worse every time he looked the Task Force members in the eye and manipulated or lied to them.

No, he didn’t feel guilty about L’s death –or about any death that preceded it. To think that the reason why his subconscious invoked a constant sensation of being followed and sneered upon was because of some pathetic remorse was ridiculous. Light Yagami was above all that moral crap humans loved to entertain themselves with. He was the God of a newborn world; he simply did what needed to be done for true justice to prevail.

No matter how many times he told himself this, though, the sensation wouldn’t fade away. But, again, it was just that. A sensation.

Or so it had been, until that night.

He had been working on replicating L’s voice synthesizing program for hours on end. There were no windows on the building’s main room, but he knew it was probably very late by now. Even Ryuk, who didn’t biologically need sleep as the otherworldly being he was, had sprawled himself messily on one of the couches and was snoring to his heart’s content.

Light sighed and went back to work. He remembered how that artificial voice had sounded when L used it against him, and when he lent it to Light so he could contact Namikawa during the Yotsuba period. That’s how he knew he was close to getting it right; going to sleep now would only be a waste of time and concentration.

He tweaked the depth and the vibration here and there, checked it, then went back to correcting it. And finally, he succeeded.

“Hello, one two three, testing…” He spoke into the mic, and beamed when he realized he made it. Yes, this would work.

To make sure it was convincing enough to fool anyone, but mostly just because he was feeling giddy with victory, he tried out some L-ish phrases and worked on his intonation and mood.

“You’re in Japan. And your first victim was… little more than an experiment.”

That was exactly what that man had said… so many months ago. Light could still perfectly recall the smugness dripping off every syllable.

“It won’t be too long now before I am able to sentence you… to death.” He replicated impeccably, the words leaving a sour aftertaste behind as he remembered the rage they had unleashed within him back then.

Light gulped and took a breath before leaning into the mic one more time.

“I am L.”

Are you done playing detective?

Light jumped. The chair rolled beneath him and he landed roughly on the floor, together with the toppled mic and a stack of papers, causing a momentary ruckus. He quickly scrambled to his feet, finding support on the desk behind him as he eyed the room. But there was nothing there.

There was no way. He could have sworn he heard L’s voice –not the digital fake, the real deal– whispering inside his head just now. But it lacked the inconsistency of a memory; it had sounded way too organic. It was nothing like the footstep or the silent vigilance. That… was real.

But it couldn’t be. L was dead –he was absolutely certain of that. He had held his body when it happened. He felt it go numb. Still. He confirmed there was no pulse. Then why… why could he hear him?

Was he going crazy?

Every ounce of rationality in him told him so. But. If that… thing just now was real, then…

“Well… Shinigami exist, don’t they? Literal Gods of Death.” He thought out loud. “So… what would be so weird about ghosts?”

Slowly, as if not to disturb the atmosphere, he picked up the chair and sat back down. Not facing the computer, but the room enveloped in darkness. Nothing happened, but he still raised his knees to his chest and adopted his rival’s trademark position out of instinct.

He was definitely losing it.

“Did I make you mad, L?” Light teased, his lips twisted into a wry smile that lost some of its effect given how shaken he actually felt. Even so, there was no answer. “Nothing to say? Why so shy all of a sudden…”

The room was completely quiet except for Ryuk’s thunderous snores. Light waited for a whole minute, and then two more. There were no words… but that feeling of something lingering remained.

“You said yourself I’d do a great job succeeding you.” He tried out, although he was probably just trailing off. “But we both know you wanted to test me, to see if I gave you a response worthy of Kira. You weren’t expecting to actually see it unfold, were you. Does it irritate you? Do you want to hurt me?”

He was about to give up and go back to work when the quiet, familiar chuckle resonated inside him, sending shivers down his spine.

That’s rich coming from the man responsible for my death.

Light’s heart skipped a beat… and his smile grew darker. So it was really him. He wasn’t crazy, or hallucinating. L was haunting him.

“So what? Have you come to take revenge? Talk about a sore loser.”

That, right there, is where you are wrong, dear. You think you’ve already won, but the war is far from over.

He frowned. Even dead, L continued to be as smug as ever. Had it always been this annoying? Moreover, how come L could say it wasn’t over? What else was there left to do? Who else left to defeat?

“What do you mean? I killed you. Everyone left believes in my innocence and supports me as the new L. I’ve acquired the ultimate power. I can direct the police force as L while enchanting the general public as Kira. There’s nothing and nobody else standing on my way to absolute victory.”

Only silence followed his statements. Even more exasperated, he declared:

“You are already dead, L. You’re dead.”

He waited, but nothing else came from L that night.

That, of course, didn’t mean he was gone for good.

Light continued to hear the extra step following him from room to room. That he learned to ignore over time, since it’s easier for the brain to disregard what it gets used to perceiving –just like not seeing your own nose in front of you all the time unless you actively think about it.

What always caught Light off-guard, even though it had become an everyday thing, was when L spoke to him. Light would normally be able to feel when L was laughing at him, or when something he did made the ghost mad. But every time L spoke actual words, they echoed inside Light’s head and his skin tickled.

It was icky. Plus, talking to L always got Light on his nerves. Even after death, the detective had found a purpose for his existence in unnerving Light. And even that was remarkably ordinary and unsurprising compared to the fact that Light somehow managed to put up with it for over four years.

Four years of snarky remarks over his shoulder. Four years of effort dedicated to ignoring that voice and pretending he didn’t hear it, only for L to slip into his dreams where he couldn’t escape him.

Not all was bad, though. He had already experienced having L study his every move, follow him from room to room… back when they were handcuffed they even had to sleep in the same bed and take showers together. Compared to that, the current situation was not so bad. The lack of chains was an improvement, he no longer had to hide his identity as a mass murderer, and since he already had several years worth of experience with talking to entities nobody else could see, concealing L’s presence to the Task Force wasn’t too hard a task.

Ryuk would sometimes eye him like he had gone insane, but Light had no interest in explaining himself to a Shinigami. He knew what Ryuk thought of death: after passing away, the soul goes to the 無(Mu). The Nothingness. According to that, L’s existence as a ghost should be impossible. But here he was regardless.

L didn’t just talk. Light came to realize he was a great listener too. Maybe ‘realize’ was not the right word; more like… rediscover. Except that back when the man was alive, Light was convinced the only reason why he listened to anything he had to say was because he was desperately trying to blame him for something, even though Light didn’t have memories of being Kira back then.

The fact that L listened to him, now that everything was out in the open and what couldn’t be undone had been done, was… nice? That was not quite it.

Sometimes they’d just debate for hours about justice, life and other philosophical matters; sometimes Light would get engrossed in explaining detail by detail each and every plan he executed against L while the ghost laughed and mockingly praised his ingenuity. Sometimes Light felt so alone he crawled out of the bed he shared with Misa and went to the living room, just to sit down in the dark and talk nonsense to that invisible presence.

Meanwhile, time flew by and the world mutated. Kira had become the universal symbol of justice with little to no opposition from any government or social movement, and the mighty detective that once confronted him had slowly faded away, until people grew to remember him as one of many who rebelled against God and obviously failed.

Ghost L found this hilarious at best, and revolting at worst.

And even though the supernatural factor of their whole relationship also extended to how annoying the ghost could get, Light still got used to him not ever really leaving. Slowly, too gradually to pinpoint when, the rage of an imperfect victory was subdued by the solace of keeping the one person that understood.

Until Sayu was kidnapped by Mello. And that changed everything.

There were more opponents. L would call them ‘successors’. The words that were spoken by the ghost over four years ago began to make sense: the war was far from over. With the rise of Mello and Near, Light felt like he was facing his old rival all over again, except this time everything was messier, and the stakes higher.

They had to give away the Death Note to save Sayu’s life. Light did everything that was at hand to stop them from taking it… but they lost the missile. A defeat of that magnitude… It was something he hadn’t experienced in years. It was even worse than when L publicly humiliated him with his live broadcast.

It reminded him of that time. The rain fell relentlessly. He sat, soaked, and let L massage his feet while those huge, merciless yet peaceful eyes pierced him with the truth that the detective had never, not even for a second, swallowed his bluffs. And it made Light feel stupid and desperate and small. That was how he felt now.

The wrath, the impotence, the absolute disgust it all produced were so intense he did nothing but sit on his chair, staring at the ceiling. Misa approached with a cool drink, probably trying to soothe him, but he lacked the energy and the interest to pretend he gave a fuck, so he simply slapped it off her hands and to the floor.

Why was everyone so useless? Why was he so useless?!

Those two kids… he hated them for getting in his way. And he hated L, for being related to them.

Light stormed out of the room and into the bathroom, the door finding its frame with a bang. He wanted to yell. He wanted to break something. With no means to release his rage, he began briskly ripping his clothes off and turned on the shower. Steam immediately filled the room from floor to ceiling; the heat was suffocating even without exposing himself to the water and that, somehow, was relaxing.

You know, that was a very rude thing to do.

Light growled. Not now. He couldn’t handle L as he was now.

“Nobody asked for your bloody opinion.”

I knew you had some anger management issues, but I never would’ve thought you’d take it out on the only person in your life who’s ever offered you comfort and her unconditional support-

“What do you care, L!” He swirled around, yelling at the empty bathroom. He knew he wouldn’t find the man there when he turned, but screaming at the shapes in the steam was easier. “For someone who isn’t even alive you do have a lot to say. It’s pretty hard to give a shit about what you think when you’re never useful and you’re not even here.”

What do you expect me to do, then?

“I don’t know! How about you face me for once instead of hiding like a coward? Or maybe you could just disappear! Why are you even here?!”

He was being irrational, he knew it. And he could only imagine what Misa or Ryuk would think of all this if they walked in on him, screaming at the air. But he didn’t care if he didn’t make sense; he was too angry, and the only one he wanted to take it out on was L. Because it was his fault that people continued to sabotage his perfect plans. If L hadn’t shown up… everything would have been easier.

Do you really want me to leave?

“Yes.” He answered, without a shade of a doubt. “That’s the only thing I’ve wanted ever since you first threatened to sentence me to death. I thought you picked that up when I held you in my arms and watched you die with a smile on my face. Or didn’t you see me laughing at your grave?”

I did.

“Then what the hell are you waiting for?”

A moment of silence followed. Then, hesitantly…

I can’t.

What?

“Why?” Light asked, reaching the limits of his patience.

You think that if I knew I’d still be here? Don’t flatter yourself. The voice answered dryly. It was irritating, but… somewhere deep inside those words he could identify an edge of frustration and… pain. There is something that draws me towards you. Like there’s something I need to do, and it won’t let me go until I do it. But whatever that is I have no idea.

Light huffed, holding his head in his hands.

“Why couldn’t you just die normally…”

I ask myself the same thing every day.

He breathed out. So there was no way to get rid of L as it was. No chance of freedom in the near future. Well, at least he could vent out a bit. Resigned, he finished stripping and stepped into the shower.

He reached out to take the soap, and froze. The presence… L’s ghost was usually respectful of his personal space but now, it had followed him into the shower.

“What are you doing?” Light asked cautiously, his face beat red and not because of the heat. He didn’t want L in his shower, not even for old times’ sake.

You must hate my guts. Not that I have any anymore.

“Isn’t that obvious?” He retorted, not knowing when the atmosphere got so dense or why he felt uneasy about it.

I guess. Still, I never thought of our altercation as something personal.

“We literally tried to get the other killed for months, L. I’d say it was pretty personal.” Light frowned, earning himself a giggle from L.

Fine, I guess you’re right. However, I don’t think I hate you now. I hate what you did. What you still insist on doing. But I don’t hate you, even though it doesn’t really make any sense.

He didn’t answer. He had no words worth speaking, and even if he did, he wouldn’t know what to do with them.

I’m sorry. I wish I could disappear just as much as you do.

“It’s okay. I… don’t mind having someone to talk to either.” He admitted through gritted teeth.

But, about facing you… I think I might be able to do that much.

What… what was he talking about? Light stayed put as water dripped down his body, feeling the steam behind him shift and change, then settle. His skin tickled with even more intensity than it did before, and for a whole five seconds, he seriously considered running off without turning around to see. But, of course, he didn’t. The temptation was too great to ignore.

When he turned around, every nerve end alert in case he had to fight –even though he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to fight a ghost–, he saw it. A translucent figure, its edges blurring into the steam…

“L…”

The commotion of seeing his face again, his eyes, his knowing expression after so many years was so strong Light stumbled back, and found stability against the dripping tiled wall. L’s pale lips curved into a small smile.

“Better?”

Light gulped. Even his voice sounded more corporeal, now that it was coming out of a mouth and not echoing inside his head. Hesitantly, he raised a hand and reached out to touch him. L, understanding his cautious curiosity, didn’t move.

Light went for the chest, over the point where he felt that last dying throb before L’s heart failed permanently. But when he got close enough to touch, his fingers simply trespassed the specter. Energy tickled like electricity all over his hand and up his forearm. He pulled out in shock, and the steam regrouped around the hole he left behind.

“Could you feel that?” He blurted out before thinking.

“Not at all.” The man answered, calmly even though he was also eyeing his own shape with devouring interest. This was new for him too. It was the first time in over four years that he tried out a physical shape.

Wide translucent eyes beamed when a new idea crossed his mind. L tossed his hand against the shampoo rack, but it didn’t even react. It didn’t show the slightest disturbance. That new discovery had L bedazzled. Meanwhile, Light couldn’t stop staring at him, still not quite grasping that this was real. That he could see L again, just the way he was when he lived. His expressions were even livelier than they were back then, now that he was dead and didn’t need to be cautious with his thoughts.

“Can others see you?”

“I don’t know yet. But given how nobody could hear or perceive me before except for you, I wouldn’t think so.”

“Then, from now on, can you stay like this? Visible I mean.”

L’s eyes narrowed, his features shifting with amusement, and Light looked away, his face flushed with embarrassment.

“Did you miss me that much? I’ve always been here though.” He teased. Light thought he’d die of mortification.

“Shut up. I just hate hearing you speak inside my head. It feels icky.”

“Alright then.” The smirk grew meaner.

“Also, step out of my shower. This is already weird enough as it is.”

L’s laugh in response to that couldn’t have been more annoying.

L had been right… for the most part. No other person or living being could see him hovering around Light; they wouldn’t react at all to the late detective’s presence as long as he avoided being trespassed by them.

But coming to realize Ryuk could see and hear him was amusing. For L at least, who could also now perceive the God of Death and seized the opportunity to suffocate the otherworldly being with questions until Ryuk lay on the floor, exhausted. Ryuk, too, seemed flabbergasted to find out ghosts actually existed, and he even taught L how to perfect his manifestation technique, until the specter managed to muster an almost solid-looking consistency he could acquire or shed at will.

Meanwhile, Light felt like his temper was gradually being gnawed at. Having both entities annoying him separately had been irritating enough, but he simply couldn’t have imagined how much worse it would get when they did so together.

“And then he told me he wouldn’t give me any more apples unless I found all the cameras!” Ryuk whined. “Even though he knew of my terribly painful withdrawal symptoms. And then I am the monster…”

“How awful.” L shook his phantasmagoric head in exaggerated disapproval. “Oh Light dear, what a cruel, terrible Master you are.”

“You said it! Heh-heh.” The Shinigami barked in agreement.

That was it. He wasn’t taking it anymore.

Light groaned, tossed the earphones away, snatched a pencil holder from the desk’s top and unchained a vicious rain of pens and pencils against the source of his irritation. L and Ryuk simply sat, amused, and watched the items as they trespassed their intangible forms.

“For the love of everything good in this world and the next, can you both just shut up for a goddamn minute?!”

“Anger management, remember?”

Exasperated, Light simply growled and went back to work.

“Ryuk, go back to my father before the rest begin wondering where you went. We’ll be ambushing Mello’s headquarters in a few hours. I need you to be there so he’ll do the deal of the eyes with you.”

“Heh-heh. Sending others to accept deals you’d spit on yourself.” Ryuk chuckled grimly, his eyes flashing bright red for a moment. “Alright! Let’s catch up later, L.”

L nodded at the Shinigami before it disappeared through the wall. He then came hovering to where Light was and sat –or rather landed– on the desk, facing him.

“So the reason why you forfeited the ownership of the Death Note is not only passing the trouble of handing over half of your remaining lifespan to someone else, but also avoid your father realizing you are a Note owner yourself when he comes back. Am I right, Light?”

“It was the only way.” Light shrugged it off, not quite grasping why L found that little trick so interesting. “How can I hope to rule the New World if I die young? I’m not going to risk my life on the frontline, let alone give my years away.”

“But your own father’s years are alright to sell.”

Light didn’t answer.

“You don’t care at all, do you. You’re straight up throwing him to the wolves. He could be shot to death in there and even if he does survive, he won’t have much of a life ahead of him, will he?”

“Enough.” He mumbled, but L didn’t stop.

“You know it. You know they wholeheartedly believe in that 13-days rule you made up. You know that lie is the only alibi in your hands that’s keeping Aizawa and the rest at bay. Which means… that even if tonight works out how you want it to and Mello is killed by your dad, then you’ll have to murder him in two weeks for your plan not to crumble-”

“That’s enough.” This time his voice came out firmly, and the ghost fell silent. “I’m just doing what needs to be done, L. I thought you of all people would understand that, after you confined and tortured Misa and me for days and even forced my dad to pretend to shoot me.”

“But I didn’t kill anyone. We are not the same-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Light cut him, every muscle in his body tense. His stare was hard, unyielding, when it locked with L’s. “You were perfectly willing to let a criminal use the Death Note to prove the 13-days rule was false. You admitted yourself that you were expecting me, Kira, to instantly kill my dad if he tried to shoot me, because you knew damn well I’d put my own life before his. His death was no more than a calculated risk to you. In fact, in your head, it was the most probable outcome.”

The detective fretted, and Light grinned maliciously. He hit home.

“See? We both do whatever it takes to get what we want. You’re not different from me. You’re not better than me. So, instead of pretending to be surprised by my methods, how about you leave me alone so I can work on getting my Death Note back?”

The silence that followed was smothering. Painfully so. L was no longer looking back at him, but staring through the window. He looked offended mostly, but also guilty. His expression was so open and so sincerely aching Light blinked. So this was how L truly felt about the decisions he took, back when he was alive.

“Fine.” The ghost muttered finally, as his form dissolved in the air and disappeared.

For a moment that sight filled him with pure dread, but then he realized, as his heartbeat settled down, that he could still feel L’s presence coating him. He wasn’t really gone, he had just temporarily left his visible expression.

Good. Light didn’t feel strong or stable enough to face him right now.

A few hours later, Soichiro Yagami died in a hospital bed, relieved to know his son wasn’t a mass murderer.

After returning the Death Note to its rightful owner –a Shinigami that called itself Sidoh– all the Task Force had left to do was wipe their tears away and wrap it up. The trip back to headquarters was silent. Light appreciated that everyone was too shook and devastated about his dad’s death to talk about it.

Once alone in his room, he was free to be himself again.

He began calmly taking his clothes off and getting ready for bed, but before he could invoke some self control, he was already screaming and punching a pillow while tears rolled down his face.

This had been his father’s fault. If he hadn’t been weak… if he had killed Mello instead of hesitating…!

“Why did you let yourself get killed, idiot?!” Light yelled, his throat aching. His hands, which were clutching the pillow with violence, trembled vehemently as his crying echoed through the room and his tears fell, abundantly and showing no signs of stopping. “You didn’t even get rid of him! Why?! You weren’t supposed to die! Y-You… you weren’t supposed to…”

A sob shook his whole body on its way out, and he collapsed on bed, his face buried in the wet pillow. Only soft whimpering could be heard.

Later, he felt the air shift, and electricity tickled him in the leg.

“I thought you were counting on his death.”

Light’s face was swollen from crying when he lifted it from the pillow to look at L’s figure, sitting next to him in the dark with his hand on Light’s thigh. The touch held no weight or warmth, nothing quite organic; just a tingle.

“He was destined to die.” He mumbled weakly as his gaze wandered to the opposite wall. “It’s as you said. Either tonight or within two weeks, he had to. What’s more pathetic is that he only lived for a few hours after doing the deal… which means… that even if he hadn’t done it, he didn’t have much time left in his clock to begin with. He would’ve passed away naturally by tomorrow morning anyway.”

“Why are you crying, then?” L inquired softly, as his hand caressed up and down Light’s leg. “Because you couldn’t see Mello dead?”

Were other the context Light would’ve found the sparkly sensation bothersome –even embarrassing. He didn’t want to reach the level of feebleness that made him deserve L’s consolations. But that was not the case. The detective’s almost inexistent touch was comforting. Light closed his eyes, trying to remember what the real thing felt like, while fighting the devastating pang L’s question induced in him.

“My father’s death was inevitable. I know I did what I had to do. Still… that doesn’t mean I wanted him dead. In an ideal setting, Aizawa, Ide or even Matsuda would’ve taken it upon themselves to do the deal and kill Mello.”

He sat up, feeling the warmth building behind his eyes as new tears accumulated.

“Then… I could’ve killed any of them easily. But he just had to be… so freaking moral. He had to sacrifice himself… why? Nobody would’ve judged him if he had let someone else do it, then why?! It was that same attitude that got him shot in the end!”

Furious, he wiped the tears away before they overflowed. It was the truth. Even when his father died a somewhat happy death, he would’ve preferred it had been anyone else in his place. Still…

Light’s breathing settled, and he looked L in the eyes with determination.

“However, when he stood with Mello in that room, and when the building exploded and all the cameras went blank… and even as he lay there dying… all I could think of was ‘kill Mello. Kill him for me. Don’t leave without taking him down with you’.”

The pain of actually losing his dad came a while after, and even then it had been tainted with frustration and resentment. He wanted Mello dead. That, together with retrieving the Death Note, had been the whole point of the mission, and he had failed because his father chose the worst possible scenario to be humanitarian.

Light hated the feeling. He lost, even though he did nothing wrong. He hated not having control over his own battles. He hated how his father had chosen to die without revenge. He hated Mello for being alive out there somewhere.

“Even if it had been someone else in his place, I know your methods well enough by now to know you won’t be able to hide your true self forever.” L placed a finger on his chin. Even though the gesture wasn’t useful in practice since he simply trespassed it, Light still raised his head to look at him “Eventually, you’ll be wiping all that is left of the Task Force. And then it won’t matter anymore that your dad died today.”

Yes. L was right. Light… would have killed Soichiro eventually. It was only natural to take that course of action. And Light would bite his tongue and choke on it before letting himself hesitate on that matter. L’s eyes as they regarded him were incredibly sad, but not surprised.

“Do you find me disgusting, L?” He asked, a wry smile taking over his lips even though he was terrified of the answer he’d get. The ghost shook his head.

“No, Light.” An incorporeal hand brushed over his cheekbone. He closed his eyes and leaned into the tingle. “I’m just trying to decipher whether you’re a remorseless psychopath faking the pain you show, or if you’re actually acting remorseless to hide how much you’ve wounded yourself. Either way… I find you pitiful.”

And Light wanted to be angry. He tried his best to feel rage, indignation… even shame. But he couldn’t find it in himself. He was empty.

“Maybe… you’re both.”

“Tell me, Light. Did Misa approve of this plan?”

“Shut up.” He scowled, fixing his tie in front of the mirror.

Of course the answer was no. If Misa ever found out about this then she would gouge out both his and Takada’s guts. Giving up her Death Note and passing it to Mikami didn’t really make her any less lethal.

“I thought so. Especially by the way you whispered sweet nothings into the phone earlier.”

“Look, L.” Light turned around to face the late detective. L had become so good at expressing a physical shape that, if it weren’t for the blur at the edges when he moved, Light could’ve believed he was actually standing there in flesh and bone. “Whatever I choose to do with my love life is not your business, especially if it has something to do with my plans as Kira.”

L narrowed his eyes. Whether or not he was judging Light was hard to say.

“You have no moral structure whatsoever, do you?”

“As previously established, you don’t have much of that either-”

“I know.” The ghost cut him, raising a hand. “And I admit I wouldn’t hesitate to do the exact same thing you’re about to do to gain a benefit, as you already know.” At that, Light looked away. The room was too dark for his blush to be discernible. “Still, your shamelessness continues to amaze me.”

He chuckled ironically, staring the specter down as if it had just dared him to do it.

“Aizawa will come to install the cameras and mics now. Once he begins, I’ll have a perfect excuse to ignore you for the next few hours.” Light opened the box on top of the coffee table and began pulling out wires. He then halted, a meditative twinkle in his eyes, and addressed L. “Actually, could you disappear? I don’t want to see you through the corner of my eye when I-”

“You know that I’ll still be here even if you can’t see me, right?”

“Ah, yes. I forgot you’re a prime voyeur.”

“Trust me; this is about the last place in the world I’d like to be in.” The detective retorted, and for some reason his voice had an irritated edge to it.

“I guess we both have to compromise, then. As long as you stay invisible and keep yourself from talking inside my head until I’m done here, I’ll make sure not to kick your ass in Hell.” Light satirically extended a hand to him. “Deal?”

L simply stared him back, scorn invading his whole expression, before disappearing. Light could feel he was mad –uncharacteristically so. Yes, Light had seen him in a foul mood many times, while they lived chained to each other and they both had to listen to Matsuda speak.

But whatever got him so on edge about tonight, Light had no idea.

In fact, L’s mood grew worse and worse as the night progressed. He didn’t notice it at first; It became a constant buzz in the back of his head after Light looked Takada in the eyes and said ‘I missed you’, so he managed to ignore it quite well. However, by the time all mics and cameras were disconnected, he realized L was on the verge of bursting.

Lately, L’s thoughts had grown more tangible, together with his physical shape. So much so they sometimes became suffocating. When L would forfeit his form and settle back inside his head, Light often had a hard time differentiating their mixed feelings.

In life, L had always been incredibly skilled in the art of preserving a cool semblance. Even when he had been visibly annoyed or angry, the way he carried himself always sold the idea that the matter in hand was no more than just a mild inconvenience for him.

“Listen, Kiyomi. I am the real Kira.”

Light would’ve never expected to come face to face with that bubbling rage.

Takada gasped in surprise.

“That’s right. I’m Kira.” He repeated, mostly to confirm she had heard him right, but also to assure himself against L’s violent, thundering emotions. “That’s what I wanted to tell you.” Takada didn’t respond immediately, so Light took the chance to raise the phone to his ear and wrap up the conversation with Mikami. “Listen. I won’t allow you to ask Kiyomi who I am; you don’t need to know my identity.”

“Yes. I’ll leave the rest to you, God.”

Bastard.

Light shook. It had been a while since he had last heard L’s voice inside his head. Didn’t he explicitly tell him not to do that?! He’d make sure to devote the rest of his life to researching a way to kill a ghost again. He hung up the phone and turned around to address Kiyomi, as he stifled down his irritation.

“Do you understand? I am Kira. The man who was on the phone, is one of my followers who I’ve shared my power with.”

Takada’s eyes lit up.

“I… I can’t believe it’s you!” She whispered in awe. “You are the only man I’ve ever really admired. To be honest… the only man I’ve ever felt a connection with.” L growled. “And now, to find out you’re Kira… it’s incredible.”

As planned, Light had Takada curled around his finger in no time. He would’ve been able to fully enjoy the sweet taste of victory if it weren’t for L’s sour invasion. Oh, but he wasn’t about to let that bloody ghost spoil his mood. Was he pissed off now? Then he was about to become completely infuriated.

Light stepped closer and willfully lowered his voice to a deep whisper as he cupped Takada’s cheek in his hand.

“Please… join me, Kiyomi. And you will be the goddess of the New World.”

“Light…” She immediately pulled him into an embrace he didn’t fail to return.

He smirked over her shoulder –he had her right where he wanted her… and she was about to have him right where she wanted him too.

When Light leaned down to kiss her, L’s wrath pulsed through him.

Two and a half hours later, Light finished doing his tie, put his coat on and exited the room. Takada had already left –it was best for both that they weren’t seen leaving the hotel together.

Everything was working out smoothly. He now had a connection to Mikami through her, which would make everything easier from now on. The annihilation of the whole Task Force, together with the SPK and Near were visible in the horizon. In a matter of days, there would be no one left in his way. He’d be the only, unquestioned God of his own New World.

Confident with his secured victory, Light pulled the phone out.

“Light! Are you okay?” Matsuda exclaimed. Of course they were worried, after losing all connection with him for over two hours.

“Yeah… Kiyomi was able to work things out with Kira. I decided that from now on, I’m gonna pretend to be dating her.” L, who had fallen unusually quiet for a while now, suddenly shifted uncomfortably inside of him. He smirked. “We might be able to find Kira that way.”

“Alright, if you say so…” Matsuda answered, and for the musicality in his voice it was clear to everyone that a) he had serious doubts Light was just pretending and b) he knew Light simply hadn’t spent the last two hours with Takada playing Monopoly.

Right after that, a smack could be heard. Matsuda whined out loud as Aizawa scolded him. Light rolled his eyes and hung up.

So you actually went and did it.

He stopped on his tracks, overwhelmed by how the voice reverberated inside him. He growled in annoyance.

“I told you not to do that!”

As an answer to his protest, L materialized in front of him. All the ire he had felt bubbling inside him left. It shook him to realize that L had turned back to his old –living– habits. The expression in his face was barely a washed-down version of the consuming wrath Light now knew inhabited him.

“Still manipulating women and using sex to get what you want, uh?”

“You say it like that’s the worst thing I’ve done.”

“Oh, no. Of course it isn’t.” L shook his head. When he narrowed his eyes, the gaze he bore was venomous. “When are you gonna kill her, then?”

Light gulped, glaring at him. He wanted to be surprised that L brought that up, but he couldn’t; he knew how vicious he could get. The ghost smiled back at him, even though the gesture held no warmth, sympathy or bliss whatsoever. It was a dry smile, filled to the brim with a wish to hurt.

“That’s what you do, isn’t it? Attachment and intimacy are alright as long as you can get something from it. As soon as the other person becomes a hindrance you dispose of them.” L spat. “So? How long until you murder Takada too?”

“I hate you, you know.” Light hissed. “I hate how you always talk like you know everything about everyone. I hate how hypocritical you are, going around making moral statements about other people when you were just as bad or even worse. And I hate how you are convinced that everything has to be about you!”

The ghost took a step back, and Light seized the opportunity to push further. They had already pulled each other down on the mud; they might as well fight.

“Maybe I just like sleeping with Takada. But… oh? Does that irritate you?” One look at the detective’s face told him he had hit the nail’s head. “Does it drive you crazy, that it’s her and not you?”

“This is nonsense. Stop talking before you humiliate yourself.” L growled, earning himself a barking laugh from the other.

“Come on. I felt it. I felt how your blood boiled when she embraced me. Admit it.” The ghost stood there, and said nothing. Suddenly intoxicated with rage and something close to desperation, Light walked up to him and reached out to grab his arm. He grabbed nothing. “Admit you’re jealous.”

“How…” for the first time ever, the specter’s voice came out so terrifyingly low it sent chills down his spine. “… am I supposed to be jealous, when we both know you’re just using her? We both know she’ll soon be dead meat. She isn’t getting anything I haven’t gotten already.”

Light shivered, unable to talk through the knot in his throat.

 “You can’t fool me, Light. I see everything, remember? Goddess of the New World… How many times have you used that trick on Misa this month?”

“Shut up.” The words were no more than a tremulous whisper. It was mortifying.

“Then how about this very week?” L pressed, and even though Light couldn’t feel a breath meet his face, he still stepped back, looking hurt. When he replied, his words were calm with bitterness.

“So now we’re pretending you’re not the same?”

It happened often during the lapse of time Light had to cope with L cuffed to his wrist and without his memories of the Death Note. He’d constantly be shaken awake by nightmares that didn’t seem his own. Sometimes the startling would be soft enough to simply wake him up, and he could just roll over and go back to sleep without disturbing L. And sometimes, like that time, he’d physically jump on bed and find himself drenched in cold sweat.

He sat up and looked to his left –by his side, L slept soundly, curled into a ball with his knees to his chest, the half of his face that wasn’t buried in the pillow giving off an expression of peace.

Light sighed deeply as he wiped sweat off his face and neck. He wouldn’t mind being able to lock himself up in the toilet, but handcuffs. He directed his energy into staying still and steadying his breath instead.

“Another nightmare?”

Light blinked. So L wasn’t even half as asleep as he pretended to. He looked at him from below, his face still half-buried in his pillow. It was way too adorable –Light looked away.

“Yes.” The detective sat up too, the sheets sliding down his torso.

“What was it about?”

“I… stood on top of a very tall building.” He narrated, his gaze lost somewhere in the shadows that inhabited the room. “Below, at ground level, people were screaming. I wanted to look down to see what was happening to them, but I was too afraid. Then, from behind… a tall massive shadow hovered over me. It’s silhouette wasn’t that of a human. The thing laughed; that wasn’t human either. I tried to look over my shoulder, and was pushed off the building. I fell. The screaming grew closer…. and I woke up.”

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence.

“Is that all?” L inquired quietly. A crease took shape between Light’s brows, and he fixed his stare on his lap.

“I know what you’re thinking. I’m not stupid enough to not be able to deduce what you think my dream represents. But, Ryuzaki…” He formed fists with his fingers to keep them from fidgeting, and raised his eyes to L’s. “I can’t be… I don’t remember ever doing any of that. And I know. I know people can do the unspeakable when pushed to the limit, but I’d never kill on my own free will.”

“Light…” L hesitated, and then crawled across the bed to reach out and grab one of the towels from a nearby hanger. When he crawled back, he pressed it to Light’s face. “There is a chance Kira somehow possessed you during that period. In that case, you wouldn’t have been in control of your own actions.”

His tone was soft, but it wasn’t enough to conceal his real thoughts. Light smiled sadly as L wiped the sweat off his neck.

“But you don’t think I was possessed.” He spoke the truth nobody wanted to acknowledge. L stopped drying him. “You’re certain I was the original Kira. Even now, you must be wondering whether I’ve been bluffing ever since I was inside that cell. You’re probably thinking all this is just part of an act; some greater scheme on my behalf.”

The detective didn’t respond immediately. They looked at each other for several seconds; when he did, his words were grave with the amount of seriousness the statement deserved.

“I am.”

Light nodded. He didn’t really blame L for thinking that. He, too, was slowly getting more and more obsessed with the idea that he might have been, indeed, Kira. Yes, the justice system was flawed. But if he had had Kira’s power, would he had actually used it like Kira did?

“I understand.” He replied. “You’re just doing your job. And I want to help however I want. I want to reach the bottom of this, and cleanse my name. It’s just…” Light sighed and scratched his head. Saying it was much more awkward than he had anticipated. “I really wish it could have been different.”

“What?”

“My relationship with you.”

His heart was beating like crazy, but he had already begun talking. The rest gurgled out and he couldn’t restrain it.

“I wish I could’ve stood on equal ground with you when I met you; with me being a detective, not the prime suspect for the greatest mass murder of the decade. I wish I could’ve gotten to know you, without all the games and the lies. We could’ve held conversations that didn’t feel like interrogations. You’re very smart, and determined.” His face was burning up now, but he kept on talking. “Even though that shouldn’t be good, considering you suspect me… I admire that a lot.”

Their eyes locked, and Light’s stomach turned.

“I admire you.”

For a long while, L didn’t move or react at all; instead of widening eyes or abrupt exclamations, that was how the mighty detective processed shock. It was pretty embarrassing for Light, though. The blush crept to his ears and neck, and he was about to roll over and pretend none of that ever happened, when L cleared his throat. A soft, pink shade took over his pointy cheekbones.

“You admire me.” He reiterated, as if not completely believing it. Light would’ve found it funny had he not been focused in his racing pulse. He nodded… and L gulped. The detective raised a hand and brushed a strand of brunet hair away from his eyes. “Do you only admire me?”

“I…”

“How else do you feel about me?” His finger curled around Light’s ear. His voice was soft, but deep. “Tell me.”

“Not all is good.” He admitted, too distracted by the touch to watch his words. “Sometimes I hate you. So much I want to punch you-”

“Yes, you have done that.” That made him laugh.

“Yeah… it’s because I hate it when you prod me for a confession I can’t give you. And when you say things like ‘it’s pointless to keep on trying’, when my name is in as much of a stake as your title, and when you’ve already done too much to me to just dismiss it like that. I hate being reminded that you only see me as a potential murderer; that you were lying when you said we were friends… And I hate being unable to accept your kindness without thinking you’re playing with me, because I-”

Crap. That was close. He barely managed to bite his tongue before he spurted something dangerous. But L, being L, simply wouldn’t let him off the hook that easily. The detective scooted closer –their legs were touching, and they were breathing the same air. Light’s heart fluttered. L’s fingers on his cheek were cold compared to the flushed skin beneath.

“Because?” L whispered, and Light’s gaze fell on his lips, fascinated by their shape, the cadence with which they moved, their invisible, indescribable allure.

Don’t make me say it if you already know. That was what he would have liked to say, but he couldn’t speak. He barely had a moment to process what was happening and take a breath before L closed the distance between them and delicately sealed their lips together.

Light held his breath and sat, static, as his mind was filled with the subtle, tingling sensation of L’s mouth caressing his. That alone was enough to make his heart pound hard against his ribcage. It was a soft kiss; plush, barely more substantial than the brush of a finger. When the man pulled away –only one inch, just enough to end the contact–, their lips separated with a quiet pop.

Light’s whole body was tingling, and he had to forcefully stifle down the urge to tremble that was building steadily in the pit of his stomach. He breathed out, and in, and out; shallowly. He didn’t want to risk inhaling any more of L’s scent.

He should have backed off. Gone back to sleep and pretended that never happened. It would have been wiser. Instead, he remained still and did not oppose L’s movements when the detective cupped his nape and angled his face into another kiss.

It was a deeper one this time, given how their mouths were briefly open. Moisture quickly built up over his upper lip as he felt L’s lower lip seductively pressing against his teeth. Light closed his eyes and opened his mouth. Swiftly, without letting the chance slip by, the man expertly locked their jaws together and entered Light’s warm mouth with his tongue.

A soft gasp that escaped him and coated L’s lips, and then transformed into a barely audible whine. It was inevitable. He couldn’t fight the trembling anymore. He felt feverish all over. Touch-starved and about to burst. His tongue tingled when L’s caressed it, and it filled him with desire and a deep-rooted desperation. He changed his angle to reciprocate the man’s movements, their lips now moving in unison as they sank deeper into each other.

Nobody had ever… not like this. Misa’s kisses weren’t necessarily bad, but they were always messy and indelicate-

L’s free hand began travelling up his thigh, and the spasm that triggered on the muscles of his leg was so powerful Light jolted backwards, and the trance was broken. Out of breath, he searched the detective’s face, and looked away when he realized he could only focus on the blush in his cheeks, the intensity of his gaze and the moist spot on his lower lip.

“Ryuzaki-”

“What’s wrong, Light?”

He bit his lip. L’s voice was still deep, but it was gradually acquiring a sharp edge. Now more than ever, he knew he shouldn’t have allowed that to happen. He blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“What about Misa? Even if she never finds out…”

He shyly searched the man’s face again. L held still for a moment, as he considered his words. Slowly, he seemed to assimilate them. He nodded, and cupped Light’s face again.

“Then… you can hold me accountable for it.” L whispered, and dived back in. That time their mouths locked together even more naturally, and although Light’s whole body was brimming with the urge to give in to the kiss, he still couldn’t brush off the feeling that it was wrong.

Disrespecting Misa, playing with her feelings for him… he wasn’t like that. And the fact that he had to instruct himself to feel guilty about it only brought him self-disgust. He turned his face to the side, and L’s lips slid away from his. The detective didn’t waste over a mere second to understand that this –whatever it was– would not drag any longer.

“Could it be that you were pretending to be interested in me?” He inquired.

Light flinched. His words stung more than he could’ve predicted.

“Do you think I’d do that? You know what, don’t answer. Either way, this… it’s not fair on Misa. I told you I would never use a woman’s feelings to my advantage, so don’t make me betray myself-”

“You don’t love her.” Light gulped. “You don’t even know why you are with her, do you.” L’s gaze grew harder as he went from appreciating Light to analyzing him; a shift Light himself was all too familiar with. “You forgot… together with everything else-”

“That’s enough.” He cut him, his voice coming out firmer than he had expected, and brushed L’s hands off his face. “I’m not about to believe I am a murderer. And Misa isn’t either. I’m not what you think I am, Ryuzaki.”

That being said, Light rolled over and pulled the covers over himself, signaling the end of the conversation. What they just did… it was better off forgotten. As things were now, stubbornly trying to follow that path would only bring pain, regardless of Light turning out to be Kira or not, and regardless of his feelings for Misa and the man. Which didn’t necessarily mean that Light wasn’t already aching over it, but he’d never admit to it.

After a good five minutes of complete stillness, L finally tucked himself in bed, he too giving his back to Light, and before drifting to sleep he murmured:

“If it’s worth something, I really hope you weren’t.”

Yes. The memory of that night’s events, no matter how long gone, was very fresh in their minds. Though, just like the nightmares had been back then, the Light from the present didn’t quite feel that it belonged to him.

When he lost the Death Note… it was crazy. He became a completely different person. It wasn’t just about not remembering being Kira; it reached the point where thinking of what Kira had done revolted him to the core. Then he began questioning himself, doubting his own innocence, and came to realize he could understand his actions to some extent. He used to think the world was rotten before Kira entered the picture, and he still did during the Yotsuba period.

However, the retrieval of the Death Note carved a crack in his moral system he didn’t remember ever sealing. He went back to his old ways, used Misa just like the dangerously volatile tool he had always seen her as. He used everyone, including Rem, a God. Thinking back, it made sense L was suspicious of his most tender side; the Light he was now would have definitely tried to seduce L if he had seen some utility in it.

Kira would have never fallen for the detective.

Even so… what he had felt back then had been real. He did fall for him. And he was given a chance to shatter that burden when he got his memories back –his priority went back to being himself, and L was simply an obstacle–, but this was the first time he let himself think about what could have been, and he found out his feelings weren’t shattered at all.

It still ached.

“Didn’t you do that just to test me?” Light said, accusingly. “You thought I was acting it out, didn’t you. You had to see for yourself how far I’d take it.”

L didn’t kiss him because he felt something for him; he did it to see if he would recoil. In fact, the way he rejected the man in the end was probably interpreted as a positive result.

The ghost didn’t need to answer –Light could see the admission in his face.

“I pretty much confessed to you.” He looked away. That was in the past now. It should have been. L was dead. Then why did he still feel so bitter about it? “And you didn’t even care. You were too busy studying me like a bloody scientist.”

“Can you blame me?” He couldn’t. “Besides, that is not entirely true.”

Confused and untrusting, Light locked eyes with the ghost. L sighed.

“I do admit I didn’t believe it at first –it was too convenient. But I never gave you any hints I was romantically interested in you, and I couldn’t have imagined you were. Therefore, I didn’t understand why you resorted to that method if you just wanted to manipulate me. I began to wonder if it had been for real; but before I could question you further on the subject it was too late. We captured Higuchi, and it didn’t take me long to notice that you… changed.”

Light’s stare landed on his feet. He believed L; he was dead and didn’t need to lie. What if the detective had said something before they cornered Higuchi? It was pointless to dwell on it, since Light was certain he would have killed him in the end. The world needed L to die so Kira could reign. In retrospect, it was a good thing he didn’t, since he allowed Light to move forward with his heart unscathed.

Or so he thought, before all the pain he wasn’t even aware existed inside him through the years came back to bite at him. He hated it. Despising L was easier than this.

“Why are you telling me this?” He bit back, arms crossed as he returned L’s gaze, his ache now obvious in his features. “If I had broken into tears back then and told you I still felt the same way for you, would you have let me go? Would you have risked trusting me? No, you wouldn’t have given me a chance-”

“I did give you a chance. That’s how I know Takada is as good as dead now.”

Light’s eyes widened. He couldn’t mean…

“That time…”

It had been the night after Higuchi’s capture. He had his memories back, and L had, according to the Task Force’s wishes, begrudgingly agreed to dispose of the handcuffs that had bound them together for months. Light was allowed to spend the night in his own room, alone, for the first time in what seemed ages. However, he couldn’t sleep.

It must have been because the excitement at seeing his plan work out perfectly had been too great. Or maybe he had grown used to having someone else lie next to him. His bed seemed huge to the eye and cold to the touch, even though it was the same size as the previous one and both rooms’ thermostats shared the same settings.

He was pacing around aimlessly when he heard a knock on the door. It was L. But Light didn’t get to talk to him, for the man immediately raised his dark eyes to Light’s and determinedly jumped him, pulling him into a ravenous kiss. And before nobody could get in the way, the door was slammed shut and they were in bed.

This could work for my advantage, Light had thought as he gave in without a care for the world. He had wanted it for so long, anyway. In the end, it had been a good way to release pent-up frustrations and unnecessary feelings, and no sweet words or pathetic confessions were exchanged.

“I woke up, alone.” He recalled. “You had gone out to the roof, even though it was pouring. That’s where I found you.”

Right now, Ghost L looked just as sad and decidedly hopeless as he had looked back then. Light could even imagine the rain dripping down his face and dampening him whole in between one blink and the next. Later, at the staircase, L had smiled sadly and said ‘It will be lonely, won’t it? You and I will be parting ways soon’.

He couldn’t have predicted that wouldn’t really ever happen. Still…

“Back then… you already knew you’d die, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” L nodded solemnly.

“But why? I… I gave you my consent. We-”

“Exactly. I knew you disposed of people as soon as you stopped finding them a use. By letting me have you the night before, you were clearly trying to manipulate me. If you had been the same Light I’d been handcuffed to for months –if you had felt strongly enough not to kill me– you would have rejected me. But you didn’t resist or hesitate. Not even when I-”

“Enough.” He breathed. He felt like he was choking. So that was why L had called him a liar back at the roof. The detective had seen right through him… the whole time. But… he was missing a vital piece. A thunder resonated in the distance.

“I invited you to use me. And you did.” L concluded, a small smile forming in his lips without reaching his eyes. The first few droplets began falling.

He had to say it. If he didn’t say it now, he never would.

“Yes, I admit it.” Light lowered his head. The rain grew stronger above him. “I wanted to manipulate you, just as much as you wanted to call me out for it.” Then he raised his chin to look straight into the ghost’s eyes, water rolling down his face as he spoke up. His voice came out broken. “But that’s not all it was, and you know it.”

L’s specter froze, his eyes slowly gaining focus. Light, on the other side, let out a long exhalation. The aching deep in the pit of his stomach didn’t really yield, but shifted. A weight had been lifted; one he couldn’t claim back even if he wanted to.

“Are you saying you truly wanted me?” L breathed out, as if worried that raising his voice would disturb the atmosphere. However, he looked more aghast than hopeful.

“No.” He shook his head, his expression softer. “I’m saying we wanted each other.”

There was silence, and rain. L stood there, petrified as the falling drops trespassed him without disturbing his clothing or his black messy hair. And with every second that he spent with his wide, desperate eyes glued on him, Light’s heart beat faster. Harder.

He had to wait until the man was already dead, but he finally did it.

He finally confessed.

“Won’t you… say something?” He whispered.

L opened his mouth… then closed it. Then opened it again.

“I…” The ghost looked away, and Light realized then how utterly devastated he was. His voice quavered. “I can’t.”

And then he disappeared.

…

Wait.

Why… why couldn’t Light feel him… he was always able to feel him when he vanished, then why?

No.

No… No.

“L…” Nobody answered. “L!!!!!” It was useless.

L wasn’t there. All there was, was silence and rain.

Events continued to develop without further disturbance. He met up with Takada several times –with the Task Force listening, so he didn’t try anything–, and passed his instructions to Mikami. The SPK found out about Mikami and tried to tamper with his Note, so a fake Note was crafted. Everything was going according to plan.

Even Mello’s decision to kidnap Takada, though unexpected, worked out perfectly for him, as he managed to dispatch both of them easily. He had been waiting to see Mello dead since the explosion. As for Takada, he was relieved to take that weight off his back. And he would have actually been able to be a hundred percent remorseless about it had he not remembered his conversation with a certain deceased someone.

As for L… he didn’t return. No matter what Light did or how awful he became, L didn’t manifest, talk inside his head, or give any other signal whatsoever of still existing. And Light had expected it to hurt… maybe he wanted to feel hurt. But he was too empty to feel nothing other than rage, and greed. All that occupied his mind was Near, and their encounter at the warehouse. He was too busy with conquering the world to feel lonely.

Still, some nights he’d surprise himself yelling at the top of his lungs at a soul that no longer tailed him. He’d yell stuff like ‘Aren’t you going to show yourself?!’. There never was an answer.

Then the day came. Mikami did his job perfectly, so much so Light physically struggled to avoid bursting into laughter ahead of time. And right when he was feeling giddy with victory, desperate to rub his success in Near’s juvenile face as the boy’s heart failed… everything was gone. It slipped from between his fingers as easily as the seconds ticked away in his watch.

He didn’t go down without a fight. First, he desperately attempted to accuse the SPK of framing him, and when that didn’t work, he used the truth. The mask he had carefully crafted crumpled. In a feverish, delusional moment of revelation that lacked little to reach hysteria, he gave the greatest speech of his whole life; he shared with them the legacy he had tried to leave behind, hoping they would understand. Even so, Near still called him a crazy serial killer, nothing more, and nothing less.

He had his watch with a piece of the Note inside, but he could have never calculated that Matsuda would shoot him; repeatedly. When he fell to a puddle on the floor and Matsuda stood over him, tears streaking down his betrayed face as he glared and aimed his gun at his head… Light realized how badly he had screwed up.

He could have died. That man could have killed him in a mere instant. Even through the multiple layers of tortuous pain his fresh bullet wounds were inflicting on him, he only had the mental capacity to process that gut-deep, swiping fear.

He called for Mikami… but the man was of no use. So he simply lay there in his puddle as it changed its color from transparent to red. He gasped for air, and cried out.

“Where are you, Misa?!” He had used her, and left her at home, deprived of her memories. “Where’s Takada?!” He had killed her. His actions finally settled fully on him, and tears swelled at the corners of his eyes.

Someone… w-what do I do n-now…

…

L…

Mikami stabbed himself, and Light wasn’t about to grow out of old habits. He used his follower one last time, to crawl to his feet and escape while everybody else focused on the bloodshed.

He ran. As fast as he could, with his body bent over in pain and his injured arm hanging like dead weight by his side. Every step was excruciating to take, and every gasping breath was more difficult to inhale than the one that preceded it, but he didn’t stop. He knew his legs would give in soon. The blood loss was taking an exponential toll on his body. He kept on running, even though it was futile.

Every decision he had made up to that point, only now he could see how they had stuck to him like parasites. He had been rotting away ever since he picked the Note. Ryuk… had been right. In Kira’s crimeless world… the only rotten apple left was him.

However, if he had been given the chance to go back to being that seventeen-year-old, naïve boy he once was, he wouldn’t have taken it.

His running slowed down to walking; he had lost Aizawa and the rest long ago. By the time he reached the abandoned building, he could hardly stay on his feet. He sprawled himself on the stairs… and then he felt it.

It coated over him. It felt like coming back home after what seemed forever.

Hello, Light.

Tears overflowed his eyes. He could have never imagined that his voice would bring him such intense joy.

“L…” he whimpered. “Y-You’re back-”

The specter materialized before him… weird. He looked more corporeal than he ever had before. Or was it just that Light had forgotten how he had looked after so long? There was some sort of ethereal blue aura around him, though, which hadn’t been there before. And he was smiling… fondly.

“You don’t look too well.”

Light laughed, which made him cough and wince in pain.

“Missed you too?” He retorted sarcastically, and it lacked most of its usual bite. Everything, even just raising his head to look L in the eyes, felt awful, but he did it all the same. “I thought… you were gone for good.”

“And give you the pleasure?” The detective grinned, his eyes gleaming. “Never.”

“Good.” He replied, relaxing and smiling at last.

It was at that moment that his heart hammered through his chest… once. Burning pain irradiated in all directions from there. He felt the tingle taking over every inch of his body as his vision blurred and his focus faded.

“W-What…” The pain, suddenly, stopped. All at once. He jerked to his feet, utterly confused, only to realize he didn’t feel the pressure of a floor beneath his feet anymore. L was staring at him wide-eyed. Whatever he saw had him flabbergasted. Light looked over his shoulder… at his own limp body, lying on the stairs and with no soul in its eyes. And he understood. “Ryuk…”

He shook at the incorporeal sound of his own voice.

“That makes two of us, I guess.” L mused, walking over to face him. “Welcome to the realm of the dead, Light.”

“I’m…” He stood still, having a hard time processing it. Then, slowly… a sparkling sensation in his stomach bubbled up, and he giggled. The smile he gave to L was radiant, as he reached out to him.

And as if things couldn’t get any more amazing, when his inexistent fingers landed on the man’s chest… there was resistance to oppose them. Solid, and warm.

“L!” He beamed, patting the other repeatedly. “I can touch you… I’m touching you!”

“Yes. Yes you are.” L confirmed, laughing too. He was bedazzled. “I feel you…”

The moment after, they were wrapped in each other’s arms, laughing. It shouldn’t have felt this real, but it did. Light could even perceive a hint of L’s scent when he dug his face into raven hair.

“You’re here…” He squeezed harder. “What happened? Why did you disappear? Where did you go?”

“I was always here. I was just in such conflict with myself I couldn’t reach out to you.” The man murmured against his shoulder. “I get it now… this was my mission all along. I was supposed to be here, to welcome you when you passed away. Everything makes sense now…”

Light pulled away. He needed to look L in the eyes.

“So, a moment ago…” He hesitated for a moment that didn’t last too long. “When you spoke to me. Was I able to hear you because I was agonizing, or-”

“I don’t think that’s the reason.” L shook his head, and smiled. “I finally found an answer to my conflict. To my feelings for you.”

Light blinked, finally understanding. He didn’t think he’d be able to feel butterflies in his stomach given how he no longer had internal organs, but he did.

“What I said that time…”

“You wrecked me.” L joked, and cupped Light’s face in his hands. When their eyes locked, his were full of devotion. “But you were right. I shouldn’t have, you were a mass murderer not to mention my nemesis, but I did want you. More than you can imagine.”

Light reached up, to fondly caress L’s knuckles.

“L, I loved you.” He swallowed, and leaned into the warm touch. “I… still do. Even after everything.”

“Me too.” The man whispered back, and for the first time, Light heard him go weak.“Even after everything.”

He grabbed him by the collar and locked their lips together. He melted into the kiss, trembling feverishly. He had missed this sensation so much he could barely stand it. The plush, wet and enticing brush of their lips soon grew hungrier, starving, even though they were both smiling into it. And it felt, both literally and metaphorically, more real than any other touch they had ever shared, dead or alive.

Then, they slowly began crumbling away. The kiss was broken as they both stared down. It began at their feet –they were dissolving into iridescent specs of dust that caught the light, and then into nothing. Gradually, it crawled up their shins, reaching their knees, and thighs.

But it wasn’t painful, or scary. Neither of them was scared. It was very peaceful. But just in case he didn’t get another chance, Light pressed every part of him that remained to L’s shape.

“L…” He breathed against the man’s mouth. “Are… are you even real? Or have you just been a product of my imagination all this time?”

L looked puzzled for a moment, but then he simply smiled.

“Does it even matter at this point?”

Light looked him in the eyes, as their torsos began to fade, and felt it deep within himself. He took L’s face in his hands, even though the tips of his fingers were disappearing too.

“No.” He concluded, and leaned in for one last loving kiss which L reciprocated.

And after that, nothing.

[thatonekawaiigirl13]

Who Said Death Was Easy? [Death Note] Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty: Dealings

Keiko’s POV:

“Are you here to give me an answer?” Keiko questioned, looking up at the shinigami. There was a cool expression plastered on her face. However, she would have been lying if she said she wasn’t at all scared. In fact, she was still feeling rather terrified. Despite her feelings, she had to press on. 

Things could either go very good or very bad, depending on Rem’s response…I hope the fact that she’s talking to me again is a good thing, but…what if it isn’t? After all, it’s only been a couple days since we last talked. It hasn't been that long yet. No, Keiko, don’t think like that! You were convincing before. Everything will be alright. As long as you have Rem on your side, things should go the way you planned… 

“Yes,” Rem replied. “I’ve decided.”

“So, what will it be?” Keiko waited with bated breath, her heart pounding a million miles in her chest. 

This is the moment of truth… 

“I’ll help you.” Rem said after a long moment. “But, just to be clear, I am only agreeing to this because of Misa. It doesn’t matter to me what happens to you or to that detective you care so much about. I want to be explicitly clear about that.”

“Of course,” Keiko replied, relief flooded through her. “I was expecting you would say that. I’m not offended; I’m just thankful to have you on board.”

“Yes, yes. That being said,” the shinigami started. She looked Keiko over, fire in her eyes. “If anything happens to Misa, the deal is off. Immediately.”

The girl nodded. “I understand. Don’t worry. Like I said, I’m only after Light Yagami…I want to catch Kira, no matter what.”

“Good.” Rem said. “Now that we’re clear, when do we begin?”

Keiko bit her lip, “I hope we can begin soon. I’ll let you know when the time is right...”

“You want to wait until the killings begin again, yes?” 

Keiko nodded, “yes…I have a hunch that Light’s going to want Misa to continue killing off criminals in the name of Kira…once that happens, it gives you an opportunity to confront him about the way he’s using her. While I’m not happy about criminals dying, there’s not much I can do to avoid it. Not until we finally have enough evidence to convict Light. That way the killings will be over for good. Then this nightmare will finally end.”

“You know, Ryuk was right,” Rem said, staring down at the girl in front of her, “you humans are rather fascinating. So complex. Look at yourself, you’re doing all of this just for that one detective...”

At this, Keiko gave a nervous chuckle. “It’s not just for him, although that’s a large part of it...I also just want this case to be over with.”

“Whether we win or not, rest assured that things will be over in due time,” the shinigami replied. She gave a nod in Keiko’s direction, “‘Til next time, Kagami-san.”

With that, the shinigami took off, leaving the private interrogation room. Keiko sighed, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. While she looked calm on the outside, her emotions were all over, Light’s not going to be happy about what’s coming next…however, I have faith that Rem can pull off her part of the plan. After all, Light has no idea that Rem and I are working together. He thinks that the two of us are meeting so that I can get details about Higuchi and his motives as Kira…anyway, as long as Light doesn’t suspect anything, everything should be alright… right?   

   /timeskip/

“What’s going on?!” Matsuda gasped. Keiko watched as the young policeman stood up from his chair. He pointed to the webpage displayed on his laptop, his eyes wide, “I thought we…we...well…criminals are being killed again!”   

At this, Matsuda garnered the attention of the Task Force. Light’s father crossed his arms, his face solemn, “what’s the meaning of this? Does this mean that there’s yet another Kira out there?”

“Unfortunately, that’s a very real possibility...does this mean that Kira’s power can truly be transferred from person to person?” Light wondered out loud. While he looked innocent, Keiko knew that he was anything but.

That’s rich coming from you. There was a bitter taste in Keiko’s mouth as she looked at her boyfriend, I knew it, it’s just as I predicted…Light’s using Misa again. I know this is good, because it means Rem will have a reason to act fast, but…people are still dying. I suppose their fate can’t be avoided at this point, but, the sooner I’m able to get evidence of Light being Kira, the better.  

Keiko glanced over at the raven haired detective, who didn’t appear to be shocked at all by the news, he’s as calm as ever…though, if I had to guess, I’d say that perhaps he isn’t as calm and collected as he looks on the outside. I know he said he has faith in me, but…there’s a lot that could go wrong. His life is still in danger...

In the corner of the room was Rem. Keiko met the shinigami’s eyes, giving her an ever so slight nod as she did so. “It’s time,” Keiko mouthed at her. 

At this, Rem nodded back in Keiko’s direction. While she was nervous, she felt a little more confident knowing that Rem and her were technically working together. As long as she had Rem on her side, she held the advantage, and she was certain that nothing bad would happen to Misa to ruin that. As long as Rem got Misa out of Light’s clutches, everything would go smoothly.

However…unfortunately, getting Rem in on it was the easy part of this plan. It’s time for the real games to begin…Light Yagami, I won’t let you fool me ever again…it’s time for me to do the fooling. 

/timeskip/

Rem’s POV:

“What do you want, Rem?” Light demanded. Although he was not shouting, the shinigami could detect the anger seeping through his voice. It was clear that he was not pleased. 

“Are you really asking me that?” Rem responded. Despite his tone, she was not afraid. At least, because she was a shinigami, she had the upper hand. “You know what I want. I want Misa safe.”

Light’s response was almost immediate. “She is safe.” 

At this, the shinigami let out a sigh, I know this won’t be easy. After all, this is Light Yagami I’m talking to…however, this is all for Misa’s sake. 

“I know why it looks that way to you, Light Yagami. In your eyes, everything is going according to your plan. However, think about things from my perspective for a moment.”

Light seemed dubious, “your perspective? You’re a powerful shinigami, what’s there to think about?”

“I suspect you know very well where I’m going with this. You know I care for the girl, Misa Amane.” 

“I thought we went over this already,” Light started, the annoyance in his voice obvious. “You know well enough that I went through extra lengths in order to ensure that Misa is no longer a suspect. Do you think I went through all of that extra work for fun?”

“While I am grateful that she is no longer a suspect in the investigation, I cannot and will not stand for the way that you’re treating her. I am saying that I do not want her to be your pawn anymore, Light Yagami.”

In fact, I wish she had never become your pawn at all… 

“She’s the one that wants to help me,” Light replied. He crossed his arms, “why shouldn’t I let her help me if that’s what she wants?” 

Why, you absolute scum. You’re openly admitting to me that you’re using her?!

Rem narrowed her eyes at the man standing in front of her, “you and I both know that you’re the only one benefiting from Misa’s so-called help. I know that you hold no feelings for her. After all, if you had any feelings for her, you wouldn’t have gotten back together with Kagami-san. Your actions show me that you have no remorse for the way you’re using Misa.”

Light’s voice was cold, “who I choose to date is none of your business.”

Rem matched Light’s tone, “while that might be true, let me remind you of something rather important, Light Yagami. Without me, you will not be able to get rid of L. I’ll be very clear; if you want me to help you get rid of the only person left standing in your way, you’re going to have to help me first.”

“What do you want?” Light questioned after a moment. 

Now’s my chance!

There was a hint of bitterness in her tone as Rem replied, “I’m no fool, Kira. I know that if I get rid of L for you, I will be increasing Misa’s lifespan. I am okay with dying for her, but, since I will be gone, I want to ensure Misa’s safety and happiness ahead of time.”

“Get to the point, Rem.”

“Fine.” 

It’s time to start putting Keiko’s plan in action! Keiko Kagami, I still don’t like you, but for Misa’s sake, this better work! 

The shinigami studied Light, carefully watching his reaction. “I don’t want Misa to keep doing your dirty work; I want you to find someone else to be Kira. I know you keep a spare list of people that are Kira material, just in case. You could use one of them. You have many other loyal supporters that would be willing to work with you.”

Light’s POV:

A new Kira…? It’s not entirely out of the question, but it’s a lot of work. Keeping Misa as Kira is much more convenient. I should have known that Rem’s love for Misa was going to be a pain in the ass…what a bother.   

Light watched as the shinigami continued on, “besides...just think about it, it’s advantageous for you if I wait a while longer before killing L.”

Waiting to kill L?! Is Rem crazy? What’s she talking about? The sooner I get rid of that bastard, the better!

“And why do you say that?” 

At this, Rem chuckled at Light’s words. 

What’s this…? Light narrowed his eyes, irritated at the shinigami’s actions. He didn’t like the way Rem was acting, not one bit. He had worked so hard in order to appease Rem before and now it looked like that had been almost for nothing. 

“I know you love your girlfriend, Light Yagami. I know she’s in love with you, too.”

At the mention of Keiko, Light stiffened, attempting to collect himself. “What’s Keiko have to do with this? Are you threatening me with her?” 

This damn shinigami…she’d better not be threatening me! I know she wants me to find a new Kira, but would she really stoop this low? 

“This is not a threat, but rather a warning. Rest assured that I wouldn’t do anything to harm your precious girlfriend.” 

If that’s the case then why is she talking in riddles?!

“I know Kagami-san loves you, but wouldn’t it look a bit suspicious if L were to die so soon after catching Higuchi?”

Light scoffed. “Why does that matter? Even if L dies, it wouldn’t affect me. After all, he’s the only one on the Task Force who suspects me.”

Rem let out a sigh. “I’m afraid it does matter. You know full well that Kagami-san’s been trying to get information out of me about Kira’s identity and the powers of the death note. She knows that Higuchi can’t be the original Kira, she’s told me that before. She doesn’t suspect you at the moment, but if L were to die, what would she think? With her skills, she might start to suspect you again. What would you do if she wants to test those fake rules?” The shinigami looked into Light’s eyes. Her voice was soft, “trust is a fragile thing, Light Yagami, and Kagami-san’s barely started to trust you again…I know you want to get rid of L as soon as possible, but I think waiting a while longer would be beneficial for the both of us.”

As much as I dislike Rem, she does have a point. I know how Keiko feels about me, but I also know how much she looks up to L as a detective…and knowing Rem, she won’t budge until she gets what she wants. I want L dead, but that won’t happen unless I make Rem happy. How very annoying…  

“What do you think, Light Yagami?”

“I don’t have a choice, now do I?” Light raised an eyebrow at the shinigami, “this was a smart move on your part...it’s a nuisance, but I suppose waiting a little longer to get rid of L won’t kill me.”

After all, as long as I still get rid of L in the end, this slight bump in the road will be worth it… 

“I figured you’d say that. However, just remember that this is beneficial for the both of us. This way, we both get what we want…as far as a new Kira goes, do you have anyone specific in mind, Light?”

Light thought back to the names on his list. There was someone in particular that stood out to him, one that he thought would be a good choice. “Yes. I think I know just who would be good enough for the job. I’ll have Misa get in contact with him…”

/slight timeskip/

Keiko’s POV:

It feels like Rem’s been talking with Light for forever...I hope everything’s going okay…knowing Light, he won’t like what Rem has to say, but…my logic was solid. If Light believes that I’d be suspicious of him if L died so suddenly, then he shouldn’t be too hard to convince. He knows that Rem is doing this for Misa, but if he truly does love me, then he also has a reason to benefit…I guess I’ll just have to keep waiting and see how it goes… after all, there’s little else I can do right now.     

“Are you alright, Kagami-san?” Matsuda questioned, breaking Keiko away from her worries. She saw the concern on his face, but shook her head at him. 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” 

“You don’t look fine,” the young policeman replied, taking a seat on the couch next to her. “Are you worried because of the new killings?”

Heh, if only…I wish it was only just that, Matsuda…I wish a lot of things, but it’s pointless. If it’s one thing I learned during this investigation, it’s that wishing won’t get you anywhere. For months I wished that my boyfriend wasn’t Kira. I wished that we would all work well together to capture Kira. I wished that the investigation would come to a proper ending…but it looks like that won’t be happening. 

When Keiko didn’t reply, Matsuda continued on, “it will be alright, Keiko-chan. We managed to capture Higuchi. Whoever this Kira is, I’m sure we’ll be able to capture them as well. We can do this!”

The last thing Keiko felt like doing was smiling, but she didn’t want to worry Matsuda. She flashed him a quick grin, “thank you, Matsuda-san.”

“No problem!” Matsuda smiled back, running a hand through his hair, “you can always come to me if you need someone to talk to.”

Keiko gave a slight chuckle, watching as the young policeman stood back up and headed back to his laptop. 

He’s cheerful as always… 

She looked over at the detective, who was hunched over a piece of cake. Keiko was certain that he had overheard her conversation with Matsuda, I know it’s rare for him to show his feelings, but I hope he’s doing alright…I hope he knows just how serious I am about helping him. She chuckled, watching him shovel another forkful of cake in his mouth, it’s funny. I never thought I’d actually meet L, after all, no one knows his true identity, but yet here I am. When I took up the Kira case, I only did it for fun. I never would have guessed just how close I was to Kira himself. While it’s unfortunate that Light ended up being Kira, I’m grateful that this case led me to L. He’s an odd character for sure, but he wouldn’t be L without his quirks. I don’t know when my feelings for him turned from admiration to love, but I’m just happy being by his side. I hope I can continue to be by his side… 

“Hey look!” Matsuda announced, gesturing towards the entrance of the room, “they’re back!”

Upon hearing this, Keiko’s head snapped up. She looked over at her boyfriend, studying him for any hint of annoyance. From what she could tell, he seemed fine. Towering behind Light was Rem, who gave a nod of approval in Keiko’s direction.

Thank goodness, he bought it…that means L’s safe for the time being, Keiko breathed a sigh of relief, slinking back into her spot on the couch. 

“So, what is it?” Light’s father stepped towards his son, “the shinigami doesn’t know anything about this new Kira, does she?”

“I’m afraid not.” Light replied.  “Whoever this new Kira is, they must be acting alone. Rem’s certain that this has no connection to Higuchi.” 

“I see,” Keiko watched as Light’s father took in this piece of information. He looked dejected. “I suppose that means we’re starting from the beginning once again.”

Light nodded. “Unfortunately, that’s exactly what it looks like. But come on, dad, cheer up. We’re the best team in Japan! I’m sure we’ll find whoever this Kira is in no time!”

Keiko’s stomach was in knots as she watched Light speak, watching him lie to his father like that…it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. The chief deserved to have a better son…and I deserved to have a better boyfriend. 

At this, Light’s father smiled at his son. “I hope you’re right, son. I thought this mess was over when we captured Higuchi…but I suppose there’s more work to be done.” 

Light must have sensed Keiko’s eyes because he looked over in her direction. Upon being caught, Keiko looked away, still feeling rather queasy. However, she had a feeling Light would come over to check on her, so she attempted to compose herself. 

I know it’s hard, but you have to act like nothing is wrong…you can’t do anything to make him suspicious of you…   

“Keiko-chan!” Light plopped down next to her, “why’re you sitting here by yourself? Are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine,” Keiko choked out. 

“You don’t look fine,” Light commented. He raised a hand to her forehead, “are you feeling sick? Do you have a fever?”

At this, Keiko bit back a laugh, oh, so now you want to play doting boyfriend, huh? That’s laughable… 

“You’re feeling a little warm,” Light said after a moment, taking his hand off her forehead. “Maybe you should lie down.”

Feeling watched, Keiko looked around only to find the detective looking at the two of them. He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Keiko ignored this, focusing her attention back to Light. 

“You’re right. I think I will lie down for a while,” she said, standing up from the couch. 

“I’ll escort you to your room,” Light said, also getting up. 

That’s literally the last thing I want you to do, Keiko thought. However, she plastered a soft smile on her face, “thank you, Light-kun.”

Bring it on, Light Yagami…no, bring it on, Kira…this is only the beginning.